Extreme Omnivore/Quotes

Schlock: PX guy wanted proof I needed all that food. Went on a binge then an' there.
Legs: That's never made you sick before. How much did you eat?
Schlock: Four bottles.
Legs: That's not very
Schlock: ...of concentrated solvent.
Legs: Perhaps you need to be a little more discriminating when you binge.

— Schlock Mercenary, March 10, 2008

Schlock: I'm an amorph. Dinner isn't coming back up unless it can fight its way back up. Smutto is just corn and soy, it'll stay down.
Ebbirnoth: It's not just corn and soy. It's also a bacteria colony fighting off a fungal infection. Smutto is a little of germ warfare disguised as a side dish.
Schlock: Okay, sure. But the last time I had to spit something out it was an infection of nanobots. The Smutto I dropped down the hole is way out of its league.
Ebbirnoth: You can eat anything, then?
Schlock: Amorphs are weird that way.

— Schlock Mercenary, August 10, 2008

Bunny: Sergeant, did you just drink medicine out of a bottle you found on the ground?
Schlock: Yes.
Bunny: I...I...
(beat)
Bunny: Okay, I guess I can't see how that could possibly be more dangerous than swallowing two armed men whole. As you were.
Schlock: And you humans call yourselves omnivores.

— Schlock Mercenary, February 26, 2011

Schlock: I thought all of us were omnivores.
Murtaugh: We are, but that just means we can eat lots of different kinds of organic material. We can't eat everything.
Schlock: I can. What's that make me?
Ebbirnoth: We need a word that means "omnivorous like a forest fire."
Schlock: When you find that word, I will eat it.

— Schlock Mercenary November 9, 2013

Ebbirnoth: Whoa, it's definitely not safe to eat. Forget metal toxicity. I've found what's laying down the metals.
Ebbirnoth: Some of the tissues host free-ranging cells that are more like industrial nanobots. These "metallocites" would tear us up inside.
Schlock: That's the fizzy taste. They're trying to electroplate me from the inside!
Murtaugh: Aren't you listening? Why are you still eating that?
Schlock: Food that fights back builds the character. Also, I like the fizz.

— Schlock Mercenary November 25, 2013

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