Portal (series)/Quotes
Portal
Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out. |
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. |
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake. |
Do not touch the operational end of the device. |
GLaDOS: I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too. |
Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Good-bye!" and you were like (deeper voice) "No way!" (normal voice) and then I was all, "We pretended we were going to murder you!" That was great. |
Portal 2
Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? |
Announcer: Great work. Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments. |
Recorded Message from Cave Johnson: To those of you who signed up to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this test has been postponed indefinitely. The good news is that we have a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis-men! Just grab a rifle and follow the yellow line; you'll know when the test starts. |
Cave Johnson: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take back the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN! |
Here is a rough translation of the french dub: |
GLaDOS: That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks "stupid". Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably -— Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France! |
Wheatley: Holmes versus Moriarty... Aristotle versus.. MASHY-SPIKE-PLATE! |
Adventure Core (Rick): (responses to the Fact Core) Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain will explode. |
Space Core: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE |
Adventure Core (Rick): (responses to the Space Core) Oh shut up. There's nothing in space! That's why it's space! |
Space Core: Dad, I'm in space. |
As you and GLaDOS fall down a pit after an insane, omnipotent Wheatley punches you in: |
GLaDOS: No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts of electricity. I literally do not have the energy to lie to you. |
GLaDOS: Crushing's too good for him. First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then TEN years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. Then I'll kill him. |
GLaDOS: You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson: I thought you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: Where Caroline lives in my brain. |
Cave Johnson. We're done here. Chariots, chariots.