The Venture Bros./Funny

"Kim:I'm going to be a supervillain!
 * Trial of the Monarch - "Mecha Shiva? Mecha Shiva! MECHA SHIVA!"
 * Victor Echo November, the boys are on a double date, and Hank tries to impress.

Hank: Yeah, I'm gonna be Batman (said with unbelievable confidence).

Both Brothers: Go Team Venture!

Triana: See, what did I tell you?

Kim: Uh, I think I just found my first archenemies."

"Hank: It feels like a guy with a cold is yelling at my junk!"
 * Or earlier, when Hank gets water on his crotch? Funny. When he tries to dry his pants off, only to light them on fire, and Dean repeatedly slaps him in the crotch? CMOF!

"Monarch: You're here cause you done f(beep)ed up too many times! Sure, you think you're hot s(beep)t in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a dixie cup!"
 * Or the incredibly epic and quotable scene of another episode with The Monarch  Priceless.
 * Had to include the first part.

"Orpheus I would not be too hasty in entering that room; I had TACO BELL for lunch!"
 * EVERYTHING Dr Orpheus does. The man's a walking CMOF simply because he's always so melodramatic. But a special mention for the home boy figurine (For it contains the souls of TWO FOUL MOUTHED RED NECKS!) Also add: "Fetch me my BLUE WIND BREAKER!!!"

"Orpheus [grabbing Action Man's hands] Two years, seventeen days.
 * Underbheit in "Past Tense": "Brilliant detective work as usual. You have successfully uncovered my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino!"
 * From the same episode, Orpheus getting payback on Action Man shooting him via impromptu "Fortune Telling":

Action Man: What?

Orpheus From a stroke. Good day, sir!"

"Crl. Gentleman: We're all going to die!
 * Bonus points for it being a Brick Joke a few seasons later.

Action Man: Not me! I still got two more years!"

"
 * Brock Samson tortures one of Underbheit's henchmen for info by squeezing his groin. He finds a lump. Cue sad and awkward conversation.
 * The scene where Henchman 21 is singing an a capella rendition of "Mars, the Bringer of War" from Holst's Planets Suite while kitting up for his return to the Cocoon, with hi-tech sound effects. And then 24 joins in. It beats anything this troper has seen on this show or any other.
 * It's a triple crowner. 'Nuff said.
 * In the episode Twenty Years to Midnight: The Grand Galactic Inquisitor: "IGNORE ME!" and of course later in the episode where he sees a baby unattended: "Someone lost a baby...IGNORE ME!"
 * One of the funniest scenes from Twenty Years to Midnight
 * How about the season two premier's Hank and Dean ? It crosses the line thirteen times in a row, and has converted at least one person this troper knows into a fan of the show.
 * Hank and Dean T.P. Dr. Orpheus's corporeal form while he is astral projecting.
 * The lead-up to the death of . Just the pathetic way he says it twice. Somehow, it's also a Tear Jerker.

"

""Oh shit...I thought we dreamt that!''"
 * All of the recent episode Handsome Ransom.
 * The Monarch's henchmen's reaction when they discover Brock Samson is locked in one of the cocoon's holding cells...after being given specific instructions not to screw with the Venture family with The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend's wedding coming up:

"Mr. Brisby: Welcome Dr. Venture. TO THE FUNNEST PLACE ON EARTH!
 * When Dr. Venture first sees the face of Mr. Brisby.

Dr. Venture: HOLY DAMN IT CHRISTMAS!!!"

(After moving his wheelchair too close to the fire and having his blanket catch on fire. "Mr. Brisby: UUUUU! MANDALAY I'VE COME AFLAME AGAIN!"
 * On a similar note, his reaction to seeing the Grand Galactic Inquisitor for the first time: "LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO!"
 * Brisby himself has several moments.

Definitely Crosses the Line Twice. "Dr. Venture: Well Daphne I believe she got around quite a bit, but *Velma?* I always thought she was...
 * From Self Medication:

Action Johnny: Everybody did, but I got a pack of herpes that say otherwise."

"Dean clone: I LOVE YOU DADDY-*explodes*
 * The end of "Perchance to Dean", when the deformed Dean clone mistakes a Rusty-statue-bomb for the real Dr. Venture:

Pan over to the real Dr. Venture and Sgt. Hatred

Venture: Who the Hell was that?"

"Dean: "Ooh, can I pet your pussy?"
 * From "The Better Man," Triana is sitting with her cat watching Dr. Orpheus attempting to open a portal:

Triana: "There's no irony in that, is there?"

Dean: "No, it's soft." [The cat hisses and runs off] "Your pussy hates me!""

"Hank: Hey, can I ask you something? You're...gay, right?
 * From the same ep, the entire 'gay dingus' conversation between Hank, The Alchemist, and Jefferson Twilight:

Alchemist: Yeah...

Hank: What's it look like? I mean, does it look real or is it all Frankenstein?

Alchemist: Hank?

Hank: Your dingus. Does it look real?

Alchemist: What'ss this kid crazy talkin' about?

Jefferson: He thinks you're transgender.

Alchemist: Hank, it looks real because it is real. I'm gay, that doesn't mean I was born a woman! I have a regular "dingus," as you say.

Jefferson: Hank, aren't you just a little ashamed of your ignorance?

Alchemist: Just a little?

Hank: Yeah, constantly."

"Jefferson: I'M TOTALLY MAGIC!"
 * And later when the triad is in hell:

"Dr. Venture: All right! So I f***ed her! What of it?!"
 * From The Stinger in "I Know Why The Caged Bird Kills", Doc has spent most of the episode denying that Myra is the boys' mother. However, Hank and Dean keep questioning him about the holes in his story, until finally, he responds with this:

"Phantom Limb: Behold! [drops his pants to reveal his invisible legs]
 * The flashback in Shadowman 9: In the Cradle of Destiny where we see Phantom Limb revealing his supervillain status to Dr. Girlfriend:

Dr. Girlfriend: What…happened to your legs?

Phantom Limb: What do you know… of evil?

Dr. Girlfriend: Why? You..."evilled" your legs?

Phantom Limb: Evil is misunderstood. Society slaps our wrists and tells us to simmer down while she wages her murderous wars, destroys our planet, and prays to the mighty dollar.

Dr. Girlfriend: ...and then she made your legs invisible?"

"Monarch: W-wait. Did that video have a wipe?
 * Also, this little bit of Medium Awareness:

Councilman 2: Councilman 3 got Adobe Premiere.

Councilman 3: Was it too showy? I thought it would make it more lively.

Monarch: And why did you change the music?

Councilman 4: Pardon?

Monarch: A man remembers what was on his car radio when he taps his future wife. That was not the song.

Councilman 4: Oh, we couldn’t afford the rights.

Councilman 5: Einar's was ready to sign, but Bjork's lawyers just would not budge!"

"Dr. Venture:[Looks at watch] Ah, intruders at the front gate...
 * From Pinstripes & Poltergeists:

The SPHINX.: INTRUDERS AT THE FRONT GATE! THE SPHINX ... HAS ... SPOKEN!

Hunter Gathers: ... How much you want for that watch of yours? Ours is way too creepy."

"Hank: An aeronaut! And an armored bear..."
 * The Butter-Glider song. Good God, the butter-glider song.
 * Also, just about everything Hank said during "The Diving Bell VS the Butter-Glider"
 * He made a Golden Compass reference. Hank. Made a Golden Compass reference. For no reason whatsoever.

"Monarch: They're henchmen, you don't explain it to them. They do your bidding. When you say jump, they say, "What shark?""
 * "I'm all out of gun food!"
 * "I told you it was gum."
 * The Operation thing, mostly when Shore Leave joined in.
 * And the Monarch get this awesome line when he first swoops in on the glider:

"Dr.Venture: "This must be one of those Take Back the Night rallies... Great place to pick up chicks, by the way! Meow! Yeah, a little college tip there for you from the old man.""
 * From Pomp & Circuitry:

"Teddy: "I love sliding down rainbows!"
 * Every Which Way But Zeus
 * The whole fake kidnapping, but especially Dean coming in at the end with the Teddy Ruxpin.
 * The entire conversation with Doctor Venture and the Teddy Ruxpin.

Dr.Venture: "Crack? Meth? PCP? I can get you anything you want, it'll be our little secret."

Teddy: "Let's cuddle!"

Dr.Venture: "You untie me and I'll do things your girlfriend would never do for you.""

"Ward: Okay, who's getting the shot?
 * Pretty much General Timothy Trayster.
 * "Yes Agents Kenan and Kel!"
 * "We just want to state for the record that we don't like our codenames."
 * "Oh You beautiful deflated man, don't make me feel guilty for writing mean things about you on my blog!"
 * "Now while your head is up there take a look at my prostate, daddy fears the can-cer."
 * "I want you all to have solutions ready by the time I finish this juice box."
 * Plus the entire "power inhibitor" exchange:

Phantom Limb: Okay, but you may have to give me it in my derrier. Needles can't penetrate my electro-impalpable limbs.

Ward: Needles? Yeah good one! Try HUGE SPIKES!

Watch: They're wonderful, and frightning, and they go into the sides of your neck and replace all your blood!

Ward: You get your blood back at the end of the summit, unless that whole "loss of life" thing happens. Then we'll send your next of kin a big jug of blood and a very nice card!"

"Gathers: I want to build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral."
 * After going to a strip club offscreen, Brock and Gathers discuss how small and sad a stripper's tits were. They describe them as things like "mournful", "a dollar's worth of change in to some old socks and taped them to her chest", and "two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra". This is made funnier by the fact that they are sitting in a jet fighter.

"Mile High: "I pretended to be in love with Shore Leave!"
 * From "Pinstripes and Poltergiests", Shore Leave and Mile High's "sacrifices" speeches.

Shore Leave: (irritated) "Oh, and I pretended to enjoy having sex with him every night!""

"Professor Impossible:Samson? You're Venture's bodyguard you just wanna beat me up! Well come and get me.(Does a weird, hilarious looking boxing stance with his powers.)
 * Everybody Comes To Hanks:
 * Sgt.Hatred:Yeah I always wanted to run my own hash house. Oh and by the by we only serve eggs now. Scrambled with ketchup."
 * "I've been sitting here for hours eating nothing but eggs waiting to do this!"
 * Bright Lights, Dean City:
 * "Violet Hour hide!"
 * "Hot sandwich! You've murdered the Venture boy!"
 * Brick Frog!
 * Dr. Venture trying to kill his alternate self with a rock and take his place.
 * Everything about the musical. RUSTYYYYYYYY!
 * On grand adventures, they pushed me with them, for mayhem! Who's Rusty!
 * The Bear
 * "And he has a knife... superpower."
 * Professor Impossible meeting Brock:

Brock: Stop wigglin around jackass!"

"Rusty: Brock? What happened to "Radio Silence"?
 * After Brock finds Hank with him in his car in "The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together Part 1":

Brock: You forgot something Doc.

Rusty: Travel Bingo?

Brock: Your son doc.

Rusty: Dean's right here.

Brock: HANK, ASS!"

"The Monarch: What are we gonna make 'em do, spit malt liquor out of their noses?
 * Doc thinking the boys are roughhousing: "See, boys? This is why daddy has to drink to relax!"
 * Which gets funnier when Brock dumps the body in the bathroom.
 * The plan to retake the Cocoon from henchmen who turned out to be gangbangers...is led by 21, 24, The Monarch and Dr. Venture, all armed with 21's nerd paraphernalia (including Hulk Hands and Magic the Gathering cards)

Dr. Venture: No, I think we'll have that part covered when we storm the room in butterfly costumes."

"Ego: "And the little guy is Eros. The jerk who made The Rusty join match.com."
 * 21 and Dr.Girlfriend dressing up in S&M gear and a cheerleader outfit respectively to distract the Moppets.
 * The Ego:

Eros: "He's gotta at least try to get some lovin."

Ego: "And the one with the umbrella is Thanatos. The... jerk who made The Rusty quit match.com."

Thanatos: "Hey, many of these women could be murderous gold-diggers or at the very least carriers of chlamydia.""

"(Orpheus is getting ready to exorcise Rusty when he notices that Shore Leave has a bucket, Hank has a camera, and Dean has a rain slicker.)
 * "What happened today was 'like a nightmare'. What happened when I was 16? That is my life!"
 * That's...really depressing.
 * The vomiting thing:

Orpheus: "And the bucket?"

Shore Leave: "Oh. That's for the geyser of pea soup vomit."

Orpheus: "And the camera?"

Hank: "Also for the vomit."

Orpheus: (To Dean) "Do I even have to ask?"

Dean: "They said there was gonna be vomit.""

"Billy:Oh My God!
 * The kicker is later when the boys brace for possible vomit: Hank readies the camera and Dean puts his hood up.
 * Dean Venture: "You know what I think? F*** you!"
 * The scene right before that where Dean mistakenly dresses up as a KKK member.
 * Alchemist, Shore Leave, Colonel Gentleman, Watch, Ward, Triana, and Brock all describing a "Rusty Venture". If someone wants to edit in the actual descriptions, be my guest.
 * Here are the various definitions provided by said characters, in Urban Dictionary form.
 * The Mutated Fly Rusty uses for Spanish Fly:

Rusty:Don't touch it, it spits acid when it's angry and I already got it angry when I ripped its wings off."

"24: Who are you?
 * General Treister having a post-it note on his chest saying "Fix it!"
 * "I've got a date for the prom!"
 * This exchange between 24 and a captive Dermott in "Tears of a Sea Cow":

Dermott: I'm Hank's friend!

24: Hank doesn't have any friends.

Dermott: Would you...believe me if I told you I was the long lost son of Brock Sampson?

24: If you were Brock Sampson's son, I wouldn't have caught you so easily.

Dermott: I couldn't run because I had a lighter stuck up my ass.

24: Okay, now I believe you're Hank's friend."

"Phantom Limb: Don't move, or I'll activate this! (pulls out Wisdom)
 * This exchange between between David Bowie and Phantom Limb in The Revenge Society.

David Bowie: Oh, please don't activate a broken coffee mug."

"Gary: It was just about 30 minutes of what sounded like an exploding car made out of bases. It was awesome."
 * "From The Ladle To The Grave: The Story of Shallow Gravy":
 * Many from the "Jacket" video:
 * Dean dressed up as the devil dancing around the campfire
 * Dr. Venture in drag.
 * Pete Whites cameo when they say "Double Breasted Jacket!", complete with smug grin.
 * H.E.L.P.er's appearances in the special, beeping for a bit with a bandanna around his head while at a strip club.
 * Dermott claiming that he got in trouble as a youth and he and his family were on the lam a lot as a result.... only for his mom to tell the cameras they've lived in whatever undefined area the Ventures live in his entire life.
 * Dermott figuring that he has to become an ultimate fighter during the band's brief separation.
 * The first interview with a digitally blurred Gary on Shallow Gravy's first album:

"Dean:He's lying, I decked him!"
 * The Monarch's Cameo
 * During the sequence of Billy and Pete recording the band we have Pete swinging Billy over Shallow Gravy on some kind of harness.
 * Dermott nunchucking himself in the back.
 * Dermott telling the camera that he decked Dean's ass.

"Orpheus: If you are after mere parlor tricks, you will be sorely disappointed. If I reach behind your ear, it will not be a nickel I pull out, BUT YOUR VERY SOUL!
 * The Brick Joke of "I thought we set the kitchen on fire." Sgt. Hatred does not look pleased.
 * Dr. Venture's incessant snark throughout The Trial Of The Monarch and especially during Orpheus' testimony:

Venture: Good night, ladies and gentlemen, you've been a great crowd."


 * Hank delivers a pretty awesome speech in front of the S.P.H.I.N.X members about why he should be allowed to join them and when he finishes, one minion stands up and starts to slow clap, then the Colonel throws his phone at the back of his head, knocking him out. That averted cliche had this troper in tears.