The Girl Who Lived/YMMV

"das_mervin: You know…for some reason, I’m enjoying this. Watching Umbridge pwn her naked and perfect @$ is just so…… pleasurable. *sits back and grins just like Umbridge* Yes, Rose. A lifelong ban. For once in your pitiful life, you won’t be getting your way."
 * Alternative Character Interpretation: This fic actually tries to make Rose sympathetic and explain why she's as fucked up as she is.
 * Or she could be the narrator from the original Harry Potter series, disgruntled by having to explain everything going on to yet another reader and deciding she's going to take over and run this story her way. This could explain why she can do all magic practically perfect each time (and often the first time), how she's able to know about and prepare for events she shouldn't possibly know about, and why she condescends and bullies everyone not in her circle of friends (including teachers, and in the case of Ron, even in her circle of friends). This could also mean the martial arts and druid magic are all just put in to screw around with us, the readers.
 * Canon Defilement: About as direct as it comes.
 * Starting with Professor McGonagall being decades younger, prettier, and not as severe, and giving motherly hugs and such. In fact, even Snape claims his assholery is an act and he respects Rose... somehow.
 * Wouldn't it have actually started in the first chapter, when Rose's teacher at her Muggle school teaches her how to be a ninja and she beats Dudley into submission?
 * Adding to the trouble: Halycon isn't sure which canon he's working with. His version of PoA has the head-on-a-stick in the Knight Bus; that was only in the movie.
 * It's more canon-rapey than My Immortal, isn't it?
 * Creator's Pet: Obviously so, taken to massive extremes. Rose makes Wesley Crusher himself look like an incredibly well-rounded character.
 * quote "“Miss Granger [and the audience], you are lucky you have a friend like this [i.e. Rose/Voldy Mark 2] ” said Minnie"
 * Designated Hero: Rose Potter can have Voldemort mad libs applied to her. No-one notices.
 * Draco in Leather Pants: While Draco Malfoy is largely untouched (thank the gods), Snape is reduced to a fluffypuff who only acts like a snide, hateful asshole to motivate students. One theory is that the series died when it did because the author read the last two books and couldn't think of a way to handle the reveals.
 * Mary Sue: Rose.
 * Black Hole Sue
 * Copy Cat Sue: Has an annoying habit of copying traits from other characters: she steals Hermione's spotlight several times (robbing her of the distinction of The Smart Girl), is a metamorphmagus like Tonks, and gets magical contact lenses that are functionally the same as Moody's magic eye.
 * God Mode Sue: She is quite possibly one of the worst ones in existence. See here for a rundown of her powers. A short list of her powers include being a ninja at the age of 6, being able to change her appearance at will, and being able to cast the Unforgivable Curses because she powers them with love which, it must be noted, is the exact opposite of how they work in canon.
 * Unless you count the love of killing, maiming and torturing, which Rose has more than enough of. Then its canon.
 * Jerk Sue: Rose belittles and injures her friends on a regular basis and gets away with it.
 * Relationship Sue: for Cedric Diggory
 * And the author invents two more for who also both happen to be druidesses. Though as the sporking admits, the idea of  joining the druids at the prospect of constant three-way sex makes for the only in-character behavior not stolen from canon.
 * Crowning Moment of Awesome: As bad as the rest of the... work is, Rose beating the living shit out of Dudley and Vernon is quite satisfying.
 * Although that's diminished very shortly after, when she flees the house and talks about Vernon calling on the police on her as if he would be committing Disproportionate Retribution and totally wrong of them to do it. After she broke his arm.
 * Watching all the punishments Rose has to endure under Umbridge is... cathartic, to say the least.


 * Moral Event Horizon: She carves words into Ron's forehead. Allow me to repeat. She carves words into Ron's forehead! She feels entirely justified, even though all he did was call her a lesbian which, let's face it, he has more than enough reason to believe. Everyone else agrees with Rose's actions, including Hermione, who not only saw Rose mutilate Ron but throw him around the room beforehand, and his own siblings. This scene makes her detentions with Umbridge in OOTP seem like divine justice. You know you're a horrible character when readers root for Umbridge instead of you.
 * Ron The Utter Dumbass: After being put in Ginny's position for Chamber of Secrets, Ron is forever marginalized and shat upon thereafter. There are countless scenes where the only change from canon is to make Ron look like an idiot.
 * Apparently the author once wrote on how he thought that Ron and Hermione would never work out as a couple. Incidentally, Ginny herself gets this treatment at the beginning of the rewriting of Half-Blood Prince, beginning with Rose yelling at her and acting like her teasing of Fleur's irritating behavior is a capital offense. This all starts after the sixth book came out and Ron/Hermione and Ginny/Harry was made canon.
 * It Got Worse. The Half-Blood Prince's book? Yeah, Rose doesn't need it because of her special potions lessons with the pod-person doppelganger of Snape, so guess who gets it?
 * Shipping: Cedric/Rose
 * Gryffindor's Quidditch Team Females/Rose.
 * Ginny/Rose. Or Luna/Rose in HBP (beginning with Rose kissing her under mistletoe in OOTP).
 * Before the Cedric/Rose kicks in, there is also a bit of Oliver/Rose.
 * When she's eleven.
 * Wasn't Oliver/Rose just a Precocious Crush on her part though?
 * So Bad It's Good: Taken in the right mindset, it's genuinely entertaining as how not to rewrite a story.
 * Squick: A bunch of underaged kids who look and act like porn stars (complete with detailed descriptions of nipple sizes and pubic hair). Enough said.
 * The author's "illustrations" appear to mostly be photos of nude models in their twenties taken from porn sites. Yeah, so many preteens and early teens look like that.
 * This is almost certainly better than the alternative
 * They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: Sadly, this fic proposed a number of promising ideas, like the druids... then came the nudity *shudder*.