Diddy Kong Racing 5000

Diddy Kong Racing 5000 is a fanfic featuring characters from Nintendo and Rareware games participating in the races of Diddy Kong Racing.

The story starts with an unexpected meeting involving the Diddy Kong Racers, where Taj announces the first annual Diddy Kong Racing 5000. The racers then prepare for the race, and through some strange circumstances (including a botched money delivery that gets the Super Smash Bros involved), others get involved in the race as well. The stage is set for mayhem like you've never seen before.

For those interested, check it out here.

This fanfic contains examples of:
"Crash Bandicoot: I'll give you a PlayStation for it. Mario: I'll give you a Nintendo 64. Luigi: I'll give you all Nintendos. Bowser: I'l give you the Koopa Kingdom. Donkey Kong: I'll get you your own game. Link: I'll get you your own game series. Zelda: I'll get all these people off your back."
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Nobody says a thing when Taj enlists the Diddy Kong Racers in the DKR 5 K, Bumper seems pleased the DKR bosses will participate as well, and everyone is shocked to hear Wizpig will be racing too.
 * Also, this commercial:

"Wizpig: I'm all powerful, and I'm very fast. Team with me and we'll KICK SOME-- Grunty: Pass by me whatever you say. That's not good enough from my portray."
 * Berserk Button: Wizpig doesn't appreciate Klungo calling him Pigwiz.
 * And don't make Gruntilda think you slacked off, as Klungo found out the hard way when Klungo reveals in part 2 that he could lift up Spiral Mountain.
 * Also, Bottles hates being called Goggles. So much, in fact, that he actually threatens to erase Kazooie's game pak.
 * Don't call Slippy Swamp Boy.
 * Big No: Link, upon discovering the Marathon Man beat him again.
 * Big Red Button: The self-destruct button on Banjo's car.
 * Brick Joke: Dixie calls Tails in part 2. As the last entries show up and are nearly blown up by the Nintendos, the one the Nintendos succeed in blasting all the way to next year resembles Sonic the Hedgehog.
 * The Marathon Man in part 4.
 * Chekhov's Gun: The windshield button from earlier in part 4 that shot egg missiles comes to great use to Banjo and Kazooie later in the game when they need to pass Dixie Kong, Kiddy Kong, and Tooty.
 * Dropped A Mountain On Him: Klungo in part 1, as punishment for mispronouncing Wizpig's name. He gets better.
 * Evil Brit: Alec Trevelyan.
 * Famous Last Words:
 * The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: Invoked by Tooty and later on Kazooie when they say the Comeback King kills all non-believers.
 * Gilligan Cut: When Kazooie appears on Timber's Island during the meeting early on, Banjo asks who's playing his game, and we then see Tooty playing the game and losing.
 * Hammerspace: Link's Megaton Hammer.
 * Killed Off for Real:.
 * Massive Multiplayer Crossover: Diddy Kong Racing characters race with characters from the Mario games, Killer Instinct, Golden Eye 1997, Donkey Kong Country, and Banjo-Kazooie, among others.
 * My Name Is Not Durwood: "Now, for people with intelligence, my name is Wizpig. Pronounce it right, or else."
 * Rhymes on a Dime: Gruntilda most of the time, and Wizpig when he's trying to think up rhymes as he talks, which according to Gruntilda is hard to do.
 * Running Gag: The other racers mistaking the Killer Instinct characters for other video game characters in part 3.
 * The Scottish Trope: Wario asks where Mario is... guess who's showing up next.
 * Shout-Out: Plenty, including the way the Marathon Man wins the Dragon Forest round.
 * Also, "Prepare for trouble!" "Make that quadruple!"
 * Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: During the rhyme-off between Wizpig and Gruntilda:


 * Trying to Catch Me Fighting Dirty: The Marathon Man pulls the same thing on Link at the end of the Dragon Forest round that he pulls regularly in Ocarina of Time, no matter how many times you race him.
 * Unusual Euphemism: "You're a lyin' piece of shoe!"
 * Also, "stinkin' ugly piece o' bosses".
 * We Need a Distraction: "Look! It's Halley's Comet!" The DKR bosses (except for Bluey) fall for it, and that's just because they actually saw it.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not for Kids?: Banjo is not too pleased that Tooty's into horror flicks such as the Comeback King movies.
 * You Blew Up My Arwing: Slippy wants to avenge his Arwing's destruction on Trevelyan.
 * You Wanna Get Sued?: The Super Smash Bros commercial is parodied by the Diddy Kong Racers, but the main reason they're pissed with Banjo is because of a botched attempt to send them the money they asked for before the commercial was broadcast.
 * Phrase-stealing happens twice: first, Bowser, when falling out of DK's cabin, emits the Goofy holler and is called out by Goofy himself. Later, when Bogey shows up, Pipsy tells T.T. he's the guy that stole his phrase.