Video Games/Funny/Other Games

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"Bernard: "Now what am I gonna do?"
 * Star Control II: Go on, ask the Slylandro about their glowy bits when you meet them on their homeworld...
 * Many of the quotes from the Marathon Trilogy. An example: "By the way, I had an accident with some defense drones while you were away. You might bump into a few of them here. Don't worry, they're mostly harmless; I don't think I gave them any ammunition for those grenade launchers."
 * The screams that the BOBs make when you burn them, or other players. Funnier because Bungie encouraged players to murder the people that you were supposed to be saving.
 * Also, 8-Player Co-op in a game meant for one person? When it's not a ridiculous and hilarious amount of carnage, it's pure awesomeness. Why did they get rid of 8-Player Co-op?
 * Midnight Club: Los Angeles has one. Equip a motorcycle with the Aggro special ability, activate it, and start plowing into traffic. The result is so absurd it's hilarious.
 * Using Aggro in a 1983 Volkswagen GTI, or any car that doesn't weigh two tons in real life, tends to elicit the same result.
 * Using the EMP ability on a rival tends to elicit some... spirited responses...
 * Well, one of the racers is crazy, but then again, it makes that racer all the more hilarious to hear screaming like crazy.
 * Also, you'll wonder why the Roar ability can't be done in real life. It would make driving in the real LA much more pleasurable...
 * Day of the Tentacle has more than a few. Let's begin with:

Dr. Fred: "I think I made myself perfectly clear. Step One: Find Plans. Step Two: Save World. Step Three: Get Out Of My House! Now let's get cracking!""

"''Dracula: Completely impossible! Beaten by a little girl?!"
 * Bernard puts a hamster in the deep freeze for Laverne to recover in the future. She revives the hamster in a microwave oven, while Breaking the Fourth Wall to tell us that kids who try this in real life are taken away.
 * Every one of Daniel's lines in the first chapter of Dark Waters (and most lines in later chapters) are pretty hilarious. Especially the responses when Heather demands that he give her his belt so that she can construct a device to allow her to go rescue the player.
 * And in the second chapter, the sequence after a male player who has expressed romantic interest in Heather encounters her memories of Kendra (whose memories have been implanted into her) cheating on Conley (whose memories have been implanted into the player) with Sheridan (whose memories have been implanted into Daniel), in which you reassure Heather on how certain you are that she isn't going to jump into bed with Daniel.
 * Most of the elven psychic duelists. Especially the Elfinatrix, whose nickname was intended to be intimidating and ended up working too well (she can't get any dates), and the woman who was famed for killing an entire pirate raiding crew with a dull spoon.
 * Castlevania has a rare moment of comedy in The Dracula X Chronicles, when Dracula realizes that he's suffered his most humiliating defeat yet:

"Klein: "Are you crazy? The ESRB would go nuts!""
 * Then there's the infamous Narmtacular "What is a man?" conversation at the beginning of Symphony Of The Night.
 * Or that Evil Elevator in Symphony of the Night? God, Alucard and Richter sound like they're absolutely terrified in it!
 * Or the "Holy Relic," an item that lets Alucard go underwater without taking damage:
 * In Portrait of Ruin, there is a cream pie subweapon. Which is already funny in and of itself, but here's the kicker:
 * Then there's Order of Ecclesia's Brachyura and Gravedorcus. SHOOUUUURRRGGGGG. And a hilarious KaizoTrap video vs. Death. As a commenter put it, "mwa haa haa haa. Top﻿ this shit, Persona 3."
 * In Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana, cute and innocent Catgirl Norn is feeling lonely one night, so she asks if she can get into bed with the hero, Klein. His response?

"Indy's failure to subdue a sixty-year-old U-Boat captain allowed the Nazis to conquer the world."
 * Indiana Jones and The Fate of Atlantis starts off with a crowning moment of funny, showing that, despite surviving Nazi attacks and Temple of Dooms, Indy could not work his way around his own college without incurring a series of Disaster Dominoes -- including getting conked on the head by a falling totem pole, being slammed through a thin ceiling via a bookcase, confusing a real cat for a statue, and getting startled enough to fall into a coal chute! The Talkie version makes this even funnier.
 * And an ancient Atlantean guard robot stomping a Nazi to death while a cheery marching band plays in the background. The horrified expression the Nazi wears a split second before the first stone foot lands on his head makes it all the more hilarious.
 * Arnold's the singing Nazi's last words: "YODEL-OOO-URK!"
 * In any dark area, your "look" command is automatically replaced with a "touch" command. And should you actually use this command on Sophia... SLAP!
 * The single best Have a Nice Death message resulting from losing a fist fight ever? Possibly.

"Yae: "Wait a minute, Wise Man, how do you know all this?"
 * The Iron Man game: The boss of a level who plans to kill a bunch of civilians to cover his tracks is revealed to be an ex-employee of Stark industries fired for stealing supplies: "My inventions helped make you rich, Stark! You never should have fired me!" Tony (Iron Man) "You were stealing pens!"
 * The regular ending of the OHRRPGCE game Arfenhouse 3, specifically the first half. The heroes finally remember they were supposed to stop a comet from hitting the Earth, but only when it's too late. The cast patiently awaits their doom...
 * In Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3 ,Naruto can go on 'dates' with other characters if he gives them certain items in Ultimate Contest mode. Nothing can beat him going to the hot springs with Rock Lee: all Naruto says is 'Ahhh', and then Lee later suggesting they should do it again sometime.
 * The first two Earthworm Jim games thrive on this, but anything involving a cow deserves special mention (particularly the second game's ending, where it's revealed that the Big Bad, the Distressed Damsel, and The Hero are all actually cows).
 * The Bob the Killer Goldfish "boss battles" in both games.
 * The bonus video Cooking with Scorpion in Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance.
 * The first Nintendo 64 Mystical Ninja game had quite a lot of funny moments. This troper's favourite is when Goemon finds out that Wiseman built robots for the bad guys in exchange for car magazines; this is made even funnier when Wiseman finds out that they blew up his house, including his collection of magazines. (They were porn magazines in the Japanese version.)
 * On the other hand THIS Troper's favourite was the game's climatic...musical number, "Gorgeous My Stage". Yes, this performance was actually the villains' master plan all along.

Wise Man: "Ahem. That's because I'm... THE WISE MAN!""

"Wess: Don't look around! I swear I'm not sticking my butt out or anything like that!"
 * Later, when Wise Man is revealed to be alive, the gang wonders "who was the old woman channeling earlier in the game?"
 * The scene in La Mulana is either this or a combination of Squick and Nightmare Fuel.
 * Definitely the former, especially with an audience (start at 2:36).
 * Mother 3: Wess opening the large, mouth-shaped door in Osohe Castle. By dancing to disco music!

""Shake! ...Oh, sorry about that. I just get that instinct when I look at you...""
 * The best part is that this makes the door laugh, allowing you through.
 * Also, the scene in chapter four where Boney dresses up like a kid to get into the nightclub.

"'''Preserve our beautiful scenery! Please refrain from posting signs."
 * A particularly amusing moment in the otherwise bleak endgame:
 * The refreshing toilets segment.
 * Lucas opened the present. You heard a mambo/reggae/waltz rhythm. Ah.
 * Every single sign ever.

"(The group is trying to outrun a wall of debris inside the Riftworm)
 * Wizkid was bizarre, no two ways about it, but the funniest moment had to be when the clue to the next level exit was found by going to the toilet. Which made the volcano fart rocks.
 * The ending of System Shock 2. The Big Bad offers to bargain with the Soldier after he defeats it, offering him even more power if he will join it, Darth Vader style.
 * "Delta Squad is in your house, bitch! You hear that shit?! You grubby-ass bitches are goin' down! Like way down -- dead down... so down you ain't even gonna know which way is up! Your asses are gonna be cryin' to your skanky-ass queen! Oh mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us! Fuck you! We gonna whup your momma's ass! Woo!"
 * Pretty much a good 1/3-to-1/2 of Cole's lines are funny. One line that never fails to make this troper laugh (probably of the delivery -- how he sounds when he says it):

Cole: God-DAMN, this thing can eat!!"

"Baird: "Oh, God. This...this is wrong. I'm coughin' up blood that ain't mine!"
 * Pretty much the entire scene after killing the Riftworm:

Marcus: "Control, this is Delta. We just... we just... oh, hell, I don't know where to begin. Just pick us up.""

"Niles: "Welcome back. Do you now have proper identification?"
 * Dom and Marcus are locked out of a heavy security door by an AI demanding proper access. Baird improvises an explosive solution, and Dom and Marcus haul it back.

Marcus: "Oh, yeah. We've got plenty of identification for you." *BOOM!*

Niles: "...Access granted! Please, come in!""

"Dom: "How about, we never do that again?""
 * Dom and Marcus had just killed a Beserker using the Hammer of Dawn. This also happens to be one of the hardest parts of the game.

"Clyde: The funny thing about old wallpaper is, put some lasagna over it and you've got trash. And that's why I have a lot of trash no old wallpaper."
 * Animal Crossing occasionally has the neighbors say hilariously random things, especially the more wacky ones.
 * Upon being asked for some old wallpaper:

"Joker: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!"
 * Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe: At the end of Captain Marvel's part of the DC story, he reveals the identity of the Original Generation Big Bad behind the merging of the two universes to the DC villains and Superman. The Joker's reaction?

"Tadakatsu: "It matters not how many men you throw at me. I will fell them all!"
 * "Oh, goody, we're allll going to hell!"
 * Shingen Takeda, snarky old man of Samurai Warriors, has many wonderful lines in his stories ("Very well, I'll have my people contact your people, and we'll stab each other over tea"). Possible crowning moment?

Shingen: "And what if I threw kittens at you, Tadakatsu? Would you kill them, too?""

"Kraden: *Hops twice* "What!? Are you INSANE!? Or maybe you think you're funny? Because you're not! Maybe this whole quest is just a game to you, but it's not to me! Are you bored!? Do you want to go home!? FINE! That's it! Then let's go home!""
 * Golden Sun: The Lost Age. Right from the start when you meet your first Djinn, he asks if he can join the party. If you keep saying no, he grows more and more desperate, including promising not to eat your potato chips if you let him join.
 * Also in the Lost Age, giving all the "wrong" answers to the ButThouMusts up to a certain point earns the following rant from Kraden:

""[monster], stop hitting yourself!""
 * Don't forget the message that plays whenever you use the Venus Djinni Mold in battle. "Guaranteed to infuse humor into the most dramatic boss encounters."

"Bow-chicka-lok-tar"
 * Ghost Trick: In Chapter 15,
 * Most things about Bailey are hilarious, but the Panic Dance in Chapter 9 is nearly unbearable. It's even funnier because he keeps doing it even after the crisis is averted.
 * This Troper is not sure whether this technically belongs in this category or not, but approximately a week or so before the Wrath of the Lich King expansion came out for World of Warcraft, Thrall, leader of the orcs, disappeared from his chamber for a few hours. The official forums proceeded to speculate on what he was doing and where he was during that time. This led to many responses simply saying "Jaina." But the absolute best was in response to one of these, where the poster simply wrote:

"Player1 (In Ironforge chat): Guys the pope just died.
 * It counts.
 * World of Warcraft has a number of noncombat pets with silly and/or hilarious animations, but this troper's vote for funniest ever has to go to the Plump Turkey, obtained as a reward for completing the Thanksgiving Pilgrim's Bounty holiday achievements. When near a cooking fire, the poor brainwashed bird takes a running jump into the fire and cooks itself.
 * The turkey narrowly supplants this troper's other favorite, the Rocket Chicken, which is Exactly What It Says On the Tin, a robot chicken with huge rocket boosters strapped to its back. After warming itself up for a few minutes, the chicken will spontaneously launch itself skyward... and explode in a loud squawk and puff of feathers.
 * Kael'Thas was originally a raidboss in Tempest Keep. Later, he was revived as a 5-man boss. His monolouge included "...Tempest Keep was merely a setback". From then on, "merely a setback" was a new meme in WoW circles.
 * Then we got the Blood Princes, 3 blood elves turned vampires who you could kill during leveling. When you first engage them, one says "Naxxanar was merely a setback".
 * The trend continues in cataclysm with, the new final boss of the stockades, who upon engagement yells "Forest just setback!", not all suprising considering his meme god status in the game.
 * A possibly apocryphal exchange from the day Pope John Paul II passed away.

Player2: What did he drop?"

""
 * The three new quests in the Badlands zone regarding The Day That Deathwing Came are just hilariously ridiculous. Words don't really do them justice, but they involve punching Deathwing in the face, a giant gnome, some hot babes (including a Blood Elf male), and a flying motorcycle.
 * One of the new quests in Redridge Mountains involves searching for the battle plans of the local monsters. None of them are what anyone would call brilliant, but one in particular...

"That did it. The door is opening. Now we can -- Oh no..."
 * "Congratulations! Allow me to grant you a title befitting the amazing achievement you just performed! Henceforth, you shall be known as the Slayer of Stupid, Incompetent, and Disappointing Minions." This is an actual title.
 * This Troper has to laugh every time he goes into the Halls of Origination. When you defeat the last elemental in the Vault of Lights, as the door is opening, Brann Bronzebeard makes a comment that, when heard through his voice acting, sounds more like he's saying, "Oh not this s*** again..."

"Don't tell me you ask for God's permission to go to the toilet. Ha ha ha..."
 * Probably most players' first sourceless quest counts as this, as you basically get attacked by an eel, say "You know what? Fuck eels," and give yourself a quest to kill a bunch of eels.
 * Brigandine has a cutscene where the Ax Crazy Mad Monarch Dryst gets reprimanded by high and mighty Church Militant Paternus for practically ignoring God. Dryst's response is pure hilarity...

"Neco-Arc Chaos: Th-then the one who gave Sion the infinite combo...! And the one who made White Len a tsundere...!
 * Most (if not all) of Neko Arc Chaos's dialogue in the secret storyline of Arcade Mode of Melty Blood Act Cadenza ver. B. Virtually all of it Breaks the Fourth Wall.

Magical Broom Girl Amber: Yes. It was me! Kya~* Wonderful! I got to say it again!"

"Roa: I'M NOT FUCKING NERO! You're doing this on purpose aren't you little Tanuki!?"
 * There are also some other Crowning Moments Of Funny for each character. One instance -- Actress Again -- had Kohaku Obfuscating Stupidity with Roa as a Boke and Tsukkomi Routine. The result...

"Hisui (glaring): "...by the way, Shiki-sama. What kind of dream were you having?"
 * The Erotic Dream in Tsukihime. Or rather, not the dream itself, but the morning after, considering that Hisui wakes Shiki up every morning, and it's pretty obvious what he was dreaming about immediately prior. Usually, she tactfully tries not to call attention to it. Unless, of course, you dream about her...

Shiki: "...um, it isn't much to talk about. I may have said something in my sleep, but it would be great if you'd think it has nothing to do with me at all..."

Hisui: "...that is fine. But from now on, please refrain from sleeping while talking about the smallness of someone's chest, or the wideness of their foreheads, or other characteristics of their body. It makes my duty to wake you up a little more difficult.""

"Strong Bad: But Bubs'll probably make me pay for it! With money!
 * Duke Nukem 64. Unintentional? Duke can whiz in a urinal and then smash it and then drink from the same to regain health. Salty!
 * Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People starts with a song about how you can't handle Strong Bad's style, and goes from there. In the third episode:

Bubs: I also accept first-born children."

"Strong Bad: Why'd you bring that ugly, misshapen stick?
 * In the second episode:

Homestar: She organized the protest!

Strong Bad: Not Marzipan! (Aside) Though that's a pretty good one, gotta remember that..."

"Coach Z: It's an Erfagy. Orfagy. RPG. First Person Shooter!"
 * Also:

"Strong Bad: Woah, sorry. Must have got some bleach in my eye. Nasty stuff!"
 * The scene in Baddest of the Bands where, after indirectly dumping bleach in a pool, Strong Bad sheds a tear for the dead fish.

"Strong Bad: (threateningly) Because if you don't, I'll have you transferred to Tri-Lambda Penitentiary!
 * Strong Sad zapping Strong Bad with a taser in the same episode. Repeatedly.
 * The scene in the fourth episode where Bubs as Baron Darin Diamonicle asks Strong Bad as Dangeresque why he should help him with solving a kidnapping and breaking into a hideout.

Bubs: With all the white-collar criminals, hackers, and illegal downloaders of anime?

Strong Bad: That's right. NERD PRISON!"

""Science Team still believes that the Metroids can be tamed. After three cycles of trying and twelve warriors killed, I now believe that Science Team has vapor for brains.""
 * The "You blabbing old fart!" scene in Phantasy Star 4, when Grandfather Dorin tries to tell Alys Brangwin's measurements.
 * Time Hollow: Ethan's reactions if you try to examine any of the girls while they're frozen in time outside the cafe: "I'm not gonna examine her!"
 * Guillo from Baten Kaitos: Origins. Just to give a few examples:
 * Fully half of Guillo's humor comes from his/her frequent shots at Milly:
 * "The wench thinks she's coming with us."
 * "The wench is actually coming with us."
 * "Sagi, can I eat her?"
 * "Helpless?! You could drop a ton of bricks on her and the bricks would be helpless."
 * "'Sheltered girl'? Was it a bomb shelter?"
 * "What's wrong, Milliarde? Is it...bad?"
 * And the other half is no less funny:
 * "Oh, look, Sagi! The soldiers came to wish us a happy getaway!"
 * "Are you obsessed? A koa monkey in heat wouldn't be this clingy."
 * "Who throws barrels at people? What are you, some giant monkey who's run off with a pretty wench?"
 * And my own personal favorite. On Sagi's condition: "You look worse than a pow in labor with a dozen calflets!"
 * Castle Crashers's Thieves' Forest stage. A deer who propels himself through bowel movements? A grizzly bear who shits himself at the sight of an off-screen Giant Mook? The same crap-happy deer bowel-thrusting himself through an abandoned mill to escape said Giant Mook?
 * Metroid isn't a series with a lot of funny moments, but in the Prime trilogy, there are some fairly hilarious Space Pirate logs you can scan if you look hard enough. The most famous one, by far, is the one that reads:

""Aran's Power Suit technology remains a mystery, especially the curious Morph Ball function. All attempts at duplicating it have ended in disaster: four test subjects were horribly broken and twisted when they engaged our Morph Ball prototypes. Science Team wisely decided to move on afterward.""
 * "Science Team has vapor for brains" quickly became a meme among Metroid fans.

""After our liberation, she left us adrift. We thought this a test of our
 * One from Prime 3:

loyalty, and so we endured. Some said she abandoned us. They were promptly

shot. Disciples do not doubt their leader. [...] Some refused to follow,

afraid of the unknown. They too were shot. Disciples must be fearless.""

"Victor: Let me do that! Let me do that! I have the best thing right here...
 * There is also something hilarious about the cutscene right after beating Thardus, who many players see as That One Boss. Samus avoids the ensuing rocky explosion... except for one little stone that bonks her in the head from the side.
 * Quadraxis in Prime 2. Remember how his head was bouncing all over the place when you killed him, then it just kinda skidded to a stop in the background?
 * One of the Galatic Federation Trooper logs in Prime 2 is also quite funny. One of the now-dead troopers was a massive Samus Fan Girl, and spent a great deal of time regaling the other troopers in her squad about Samus' exploits. One of the other troopers outright didn't believe Samus existed, and wrote in his log: "Yeah, and did she save Zebes with the help of her friends, Bigfoot and Santa Claus?" Tell me the mental image of Samus fighting side-by-side with Santa and Bigfoot isn't hilarious.
 * Or the Space Pirate log in Prime 2 when they realize that Samus and Dark Samus are two separate beings. The reaction is basically, "Oh Crap, there's two of them?!"
 * SA-X can be pretty funny in Metroid Fusion.. if you stand in the right spot.
 * The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay has a wonderful moment in which you can listen in on the Cozart Brothers torturing an inmate that's had the misforture of sharing their cell during confinement:

Prisoner: No...no! No don't, please! (Sobbing) No, please no...no...

Luthor: Hush now. My brother is gonna cut you now. You just hush. Okay? Good.

Prisoner: uhh...NO! NO, NOT THE EYES! NOT THE EYES! NO, NO NOT THE EYES, NO... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Luthor: (Giggling wickedly) That's good Victor, that's good! Now, let me do some.

Victor: Just one second- I'm just gonna...take...the other eye.

Luthor: Don't you kill him, Victor! We're not getting out in a week!

Victor: You mean we can't get a new one? (A pause) Oh shit! He passed out!

Luthor: Not in a week...NNNNNO! Listen, why don't we wait until this one's conscious again? Then we can... then we can burn him or something... we can burn him!"

"Riot Guard: What the... Hold it! That area's restricted.
 * Later on, Riddick is walking away from a bomb he set, then comes face to face with a Riot Guard (a Prison Guard in Powered Armor with two machineguns at the ends of the arms). Remember, Riddick has no visible weapons and isn't wearing any armor at all.

Riddick: Oh, sorry, my mistake. (turns and tries to walk away)

Riot Guard: Don't move, prisoner... it's not that easy... Name.. (Riddick turns around)

Riot Guard: ...Riddick... (Realizes it's just him and Riddick) ...Shit!

Riddick: I think you're gonna need backup.

Riot Guard: (Radio) This is 22B. I need backup. And send down a home-box for Riddick. We need him sedated. Do it now! (Scene cuts and comes back with Riddick being locked in a box/traincar with two guards watching him while the Riot Guard stands outside)

Riot Guard: He's your problem now."

"Nordom: Morte, do you believe you have a destiny in life, a purpose?
 * The Nethack top deaths log is made of funny, especially the ones that only have one listed victim. A lot of these are the product of players naming the cause of their deaths, hence "choked on a food ration named never gonna give you up" and "killed by an Uruk-hai called YASD."
 * Choked on a cock.
 * Killed by kicking an ass and taking names.
 * Killed by kicking a bucket.
 * Choked on a long sword.
 * Unwisely tried to eat Death.
 * This troper was the first person on that server to die by colliding with the ceiling. Nine ascensions, and that's still his proudest moment.
 * Apparently 22 players were killed by kicking 0 gold pieces.
 * More gameplay-relevant examples: Killed by an Archon called You get a bad feeling about this.
 * So, who wants to die on turn 1?
 * Illbleed is alternately ridiculous and disturbing. Highlights include the brainless, gibbering "woodpuppet" version of Randy in "Woodpuppets" and the "boss fight" from "Killer Department Store" ("Aaah! Cashman's on fire!").
 * Planescape Torment has (along with the Tear Jerkers) a lot of funny moments.

Morte: Is Annah still wearing clothes?

Nordom: Affirmative.

Morte: Then the answer is "Yes"."

""In the end, we are all satisfied, And you are set free.""
 * The pinnacle of funny in the Devil May Cry series is in 4: the cutscene where Dante acquires Lucifer. Blatant Double Entendre, Suck My Rose, and breaking a Hell Gate's "heart" all in one!

""Jester's gonna spank your butt, spank you on the butt!"
 * Narmy and cheesy Dante's one-liners may be (when they're not awesome), sometimes they're genuinely funny. This editor's favorites (from 3) are from just before the Cerberus battle (Dante talks to the three-headed Hell Hound like he's a normal dog) and just before and after the Agni & Rudra battle. ("No - talking!")
 * Dude. Jester's a walking moment all by himself.

"Write it down on your HAND if you don't trust your HEAD."

"You saw it too, didn't you? That huuuge tower, jutting out of the ground. That ''thick shaft that causes women to SHUDDER...""

"Dante: Check out, it's got wings!"
 * Though the "spank your butt" part is also really creepy given the context.
 * You want narm and ham? Look no further than "Agnus Redux," which shows you what happens when Dante decides to go whole hog.
 * Explanation: pre-battle banter/conversation, in an abandoned opera house. Dante decides to act appropriately to the location, complete with singing his lines.
 * , the savior "powers up" and flies away. While not depressing, the tone is a bit sad. Then comes Dante:

"Washington: Can I drive?
 * House of the Dead: Overkill makes itself into a crowning Game of funny, by taking absolutely everything about itself Up to Eleven and never once stopping to be serious. The Cluster F Bombs, the Gorn, everything Crosses the Line Twice. The crowning moment, however, is probably Agent G and Detective Washington blowing the popsicle stand that is Carny in... a popsicle stand. Well, an ice cream truck.

G: NO!

Washington: Can I have a lollipop?

G: ...Yes."

"What does Valentine's Day mean to you?
 * The Typing of the Dead's Final Boss, the Emperor, has you answering questions with one of three hilarious answers:

A romantic evening with your true love

Torment if you are single

Mind your own business

Ways to prove you like her friends?

Write thank-you notes after every visit

Fix them an elaborate dinner

Hit on them shamelessly

Things you love to hate:

Models your lover thinks are cute

Athletes who are stronger than you

The Emperor Boss in this game"

"Kaufman:"
 * And then there's the Multiple Endings, the one you get being determined by how you answer the aforementioned questions.
 * Goldman jumps off the building (as in the original ending), and an explosion is seen. Not as planned.
 * Goldman bungee jumps off the building, comes back up, and burps.
 * Goldman farts and flies off into the sky.
 * Regardless of which ending you get, you segue into the credits sequence, in which you type in the names of the staff to cause zombies to break out of their glass tubes. Said zombies, upon release, promptly break into dance.
 * Of all series, Silent Hill has some gloriously funny moments hidden amongst all the Nightmare Fuel. Perhaps the best and most famous are the UFO endings, which eventually culminate in the third game where Heather, after being abducted by the aliens, meets the previous games' protagonists (who were also abducted in their respective games), and the aliens blow up Silent Hill. Then Silent Hill No Uta plays. That this makes about as much sense as anything else that happens in that town only succeeds in making it funnier.
 * Note: One of the protagonists Heather meets is her father,, and yes, it still makes just as much sense as any of the other endings.
 * Heather going to look in the toilet and then turning toward the screen and questioning who the hell would actually do that.
 * In the fourth game, we have Jasper and his thoroughly disturbing affection for chocolate milk.
 * Shattered Memories' UFO ending takes the cake.

"02-Joy: AAAAAAARGH! Are you a complete and utter moron?! Don't you know CHORDS?!?"
 * "It's a boat. It's like a car, but runs on water."
 * The Noitu Love games tend to have varying degrees of incredibly weird humor thrown in amongst the hectic action. Take, for example, the third level from the first one. You get attacked by robot zombies, a robot grim reaper, and exploding robot nuns on your way to pyschotic musician 02-Joy's hideout in an old church, then enter the church and get your ears blasted upon uncovering a massive zombie rave you have to fight your way through, and when you finally get to 02-Joy, the only way to start the battle (and hurt him, incidentally) is to completely suck at playing the piano.

"Kreese: You know, on that first version of Martin he shot those out of his crotch.
 * Mad World has the announcers, which act as a Crowning Soundtrack of Funny, almost constantly playing in the background. A highly, HIGHLY inappropriate soundtrack.
 * One of them is John DiMaggio, recognisable as Bender.

Howard: I remember that, the censors made him change it because they said it made the death less family friendly.

Kreese: I wouldn't let my kids watch.

Howard: You got kids?

Kreese: That's what the courts tell me."

"Howard: You know, I usually like my electric prods delivered by a dominitrix dressed as a british nanny. But this sci fi soldier getup is pretty kinky too!
 * Don't forget when Howard goes into one of his perverted moments.

Kreese: I'll deliver an electric prod to you anytime you want, you sick freak. Just ask!

Howard: (sincerely) Pleeease?

Kreese: *groans*"

"Player: Me finally had a thought and you made me forget it! ME KILL YOU!
 * MANY of the conversations in Fallout 1 & 2 when playing a "stupid" (Int < 4) character. For example:

Drug dealer starts a lengthy sales pitch to player

Player: Okay. Me have to go n-

Drug dealer continues talking

Player: ME HAVE TO GO N-

Drug dealer continues talking

Player: ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO"

"Local 1: One more thing. I think I remember someone saying a name. Leo? Leu! Leu. And there was a second name... Something with a T. Tanent? Yeah - Tanent. Leu Tanent.
 * Whilst many find her annoying, Moira Brown in Fallout 3 comes into her own when writing reports on the science experiments she's done. Some samples:
 * What do Super Mutants eat? Conclusion: Research assistants.
 * What happened to China? Conclusion: Reports sketchy. China may be fictional.
 * Fallout New Vegas has a few gems, especially this one:

Local 2: He probably said Lieutenant. [To player] Forgive my friend, he is a little slow."

"Loki: being told that he isn't sexy enough "Oh...no...you...didn't!""
 * Freespace 2 has a couple of Hilarious Outtakes buried in the voice files for the game ("Stop laughing there, copilot!"), and the AI's sometimes suicidal piloting technique can lead to some extremely amusing collisions. The best this troper has seen involved a very speedy Astaroth getting whacked by the spinning... thing that spins on a Shivan CommNode. Said Astaroth did its best impression of a baseball before exploding in the distance.
 * Some of the user-made campaigns are full of Funny:
 * From Derelict, Ensemble Darkhorse Lt. Mackie and his endless references to duct tape as well as the immortal line: "Looks like the defecation is about to hit the ventilation..."
 * Somehow Silent Threat: Reborn managed to believably use "Somebody set up us the bomb!" in an otherwise quite serious story for major lulz.
 * And then there's the Just Another Day parody campaigns, which are pretty much continous Crowning Moment of Funny's from start to finish ("I may or may not be the Wizard of Ambiguity...")
 * Lost Odyssey, where the immortal, eternally 20-years old Seth is reunited with her mortal, looks-70-year-old son after many, many decades. He runs at her, shouting "momma!", and she playfully gives him a noogie (on his bald head). Prince Tolten's incredulous reaction absolutely wonderful.
 * Also in "Lost Odyssey" (in fact, not long (chronologically) after the event above.) Seth, Sed (her son), and Prince Tolten have just escaped from monsters in Sed's uber-sub, and Sed and Seth are celebrating with whoops of triumph and double high fives. Tolten is caught up in the exitement and tries to join in... about a second too late, and the moment has already past. One can imagine his awkwardness as he tries to recover his dignity...
 * And let us not forgot the walking-talking generator of humor that is Jansen. Many of the hijinks he gets into over the course of the game will have you in absolute stitches (such as showing up to the start of the adventure hung-over, hitting on everything that moves, and having a big snark-streak). It helps that his English VA is a professional stand-up comic.
 * In Summon Night 2: Swordcraft Story, there's a monster that will not let you pass... unless you ask in the way that a sexy woman would. The various characters' reactions are hilarious, especially if you make your Summon Beast be the one to ask.

"Victory, downloading party hat."
 * BLUE SCREEN OF DEAAAAAAAAAAAATH!!
 * Dwarf Fortress, a fantastic freeware civilization/roguelike game that advertises losing as being fun, has much of this at random. Particularly, you can allow a dwarf to tantrum and assault something or someone, causing another dwarf to tantrum and do the exact same thing to other dwarves, thereby setting up a Disaster Dominoes that eventually kills everybody and completely ruins your entire fortress--even if the cause was simply a dwarf not being able to eat at a table. Or, you can set a dwarf on fire and he will simply not notice enough to allow himself to grab a drink from the local stores of alcohol... which bursts into flames and causes everything in the vicinity to catch fire, including other dwarves, who still won't notice and will wander about the fortress causing every non-fire-safe material they touch to catch fire, eventually causing your entire fortress to burn down to the ground.
 * This game has a lot of Video Game Cruelty Potential. If you are able to harness a source of unlimited running liquid (be it water or magma), you can redirect them to create deathtraps that involves locking in the victims and slowly filling up the death chamber with liquid, the end result being that they either drown to death or they melt horribly in molten rock.
 * The best way to handle those annoying nobles? Set up suicide booths just for them -- a standard suicide booth involves a switch and a trap that will result in a guaranteed death for anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room as the switch.
 * Fun traps include: floors that give out when the victims are standing on them, causing them to drop to their deaths; drawbridges that squash them flat when they are in range; deliberate cave-ins intended to crush the one who triggered it; locked chambers of ballista doom...
 * See the hilariously-titled wiki page Unfortunate Accident.
 * And, of course, there's the dwarf-eating carp. And the elephants. And the unicorn.
 * "I think I made the fish too hardcore."
 * See Boatmurdered for the right way to use magma, and the wrong way to do most of everything else.
 * There are also a few hilarious DF videos, such as this one.
 * In the Dark Forces Saga, it isn't uncommon to listen in on stormtroopers having regular conversations before they realize you're there. Many of the conversations are amusing enough, but one in particular from Jedi Academy is hilarious. Two stormtroopers are complaining about being stationed in the cold on Hoth when one tells the story of how he used to be a scout trooper. Long story short, he couldn't see out of the helmet and caused a speeder bike pile-up before being kicked out shortly after.
 * Soul Calibur IV. Amy's Story Mode ending. I won't keep you.
 * Pretty much all of Jugger's Robo Speak.

"Okay, that was just weird."
 * Days of Ruin is Darker and Edgier right up until you choose "Tactics Room" from the menu. Between Lin and Isabella's "Tactics Time" sketches, Brenner giving you advice from notecards (which end with "Don't tell Will you're reading off notecards"), or the Beast showing up to give you advice on handling Fog of War, it never disappoints. The last of these is the best simply for Will's reaction to his sworn enemy advising him on how to fight:

"Gorgutz: We'll call dat Plan Stupid. I named it after yeh.
 * Absolutely anything to do with Da Orks in Dawn of War, its expansion packs and sequel, starting from the first scene in which they speak ("We'll keep dem more dan busy. We'll keep dem dead") and just going from there. Also, absolutely anything to do with da Ork Warboss Gorgutz 'Eadunter, especially how he managed to get his WAAAGH! to infiltrate the planet Kronus by throwing lots of rocks at the Imperium and Tau fleets in orbit, after which his ships crashed into the planet anyway.

[Later]

Gorgutz: Why's ya grinnin'?

Ork: Because ya named a plan afta me!"

"Ork: Uh, Boss? We'z gettin' shot up!
 * The Ork fortress is about to fall in Dark Crusade:

Gorgutz: Ain't ya da master of da obvious? Use da 'splosives!

Ork: Da what?

Gorgutz: Da bomb, ya git! DA BOMB!"

"Ork 1: Shouldn't we use da Squiggoths on dem?
 * The feral Orkz in the Eldar fortress of Dark Crusade:

Ork 2: Nah, leave 'em be. Da Squiggoths aren't trained yet an' I don' wanna have to scrape yer bitz offa their feet!

(cue new optional objective)"

"Thule: You won't hold on to that for long, demon-spawn!
 * Eliphas the Inheritor has some good lines as well when talking to the Space Marine Captain.

Eliphas: Demon-spawn? One so hopelessly ignorant of his origins should not be so quick to insult another's parentage, brother.

Thule: We are not brothers, heretic!

Eliphas: (chuckles) Of course not. My mistake."

"Largo: I mean, come on! The human body is full of nutrients!
 * Largo's side chapter in Valkyria Chronicles, wherein The Big Guy gets all pissed off about Imperials hijacking a shipment of vegetables going to town. He gives an impassioned speech about how everyone should eat more vegetables, because they're "like miniature bombs filled with vitamins and nutrients!" However, it's Rosie's deadpan comeback that seals it:

Rosie: (nonchalantly) Which are also like miniature bombs?"

"Kane (doing a weird dance): Brothers and sisters of Nod, I welcome you to Planet CNC (jazz hands, then returns Clasp Your Hands If You Deceive)."
 * Also, Edy's attempts at singing.
 * Command and Conquer - The main series tends to avoid this; however, Red Alerts 2 and 3 are pretty much nothing but Crowning Moment of Awesome and Crowning Moment of Funny in one package.
 * Plus, check the blooper reels for Tiberium Wars, Kane's Wrath, or Red Alert 3. They're up on Youtube.

"CABAL: The probability, of a favorable outcome, can be increased if we retreat to the nearby base in the area and fight as we move.
 * "Is that camera still running?!"
 * "I'm going to the only place that cannot be corrupted by capitalism... SPPAAAAACE!!!"
 * Oh the irony...
 * The entire cutscene for the first Nod mission of Tiberian Sun. Particularly:

Slavik: Define "favorable outcome," CABAL.

CABAL: ...They all die.

Slavik: That'll do."

"Zofia: Special Agent Tanya has agreed to help us. Her abilities will be quite useful... even if she's not as skilled as Boris.
 * Yuri's Revenge has some as well.

Tanya: What? Yeah, like Boris is skilled. 'Ooh, look at me! I can call in an airstrike!' Please...

Zofia: Oh...sorry, sir. I though this channel was secure."

"Carville: Holy cow... commander, we've got some kind of UFO on our radar! Either if aliens are attacking or Yuri's been watching too much TV -- watch yourself out there."
 * Also, the first time the Floating Disc unit appears in the Allied campaign:

"Dr Killjoy: When performing a lethal injection, it is essential that the needles be placed with absolute precision. And unlike standard medical procedures, with a lethal injection you have a patient who probably does not want the procedure to occur. Therefore, it is of vital importance that the restraints be tight and strong. Even with that, trouble may arise, and it may be incumbent for the practitioner to take matters into his own hands, using whatever sharp, bladed objects he may have on his person. Lacerations...
 * Dr. Killjoy's lecture in The Suffering, conducted with the aid of a convict strapped to a table:

(He abruptly slashes the inmate across the chest with a scalpel.)

Killjoy: ...to the body at strategic locations...

(He slashes the inmate again.)

Killjoy: ...may put the patient into a state of shock...

(He slashes the inmate one last time; the inmate screams, and passes out.)

Killjoy: making him far more pliable, or at the very least, causing him to bleed to death, thus achieving the desired end. Who are we kidding? We're not really trying to be humane anyway. Class dismissed."

""Ever seen the effects of purified narcotics on the human brain?"
 * This troper found it more disturbing than amusing.
 * Another Killjoy moment, this time in the second game, and conducted with the aid of three heroin addicts:

BOOM.

"Good help is so hard to find these days..."

BOOM.

"They just keep dying on me!"

BOOM."

"Rin: The problem must be in your pants!"
 * A Fester hammering a Slayer into the ground with its flail, complete with a last minute expression of shock on the Slayer's mask.
 * Torque having his torso cartoonishly hammered off by a Fester should his health drop too low while in combat with it.
 * Prison guards arguing over where to shine the spotlight while trying to fend off a horde of Slayers; "Your Other Left, you dumb bastard!"
 * Sergei asking prison guards for a replacement hookah for the one that broke during the earthquake.
 * For that matter, finding Sergei's marijuana crop.
 * In Final Fight there's a bonus level where you take a crowbar and destroy a car for bonus points. Once the level finishes totaling up your points, a Mook walks onscreen and cries "Oh my car!" very unconvincingly and sheds tears as big as his fists. The giant tears couple with the bad voice acting had me in stitches.
 * That's the SNES version. In the arcade version it's "OH! MY GOD!" Even funnier.
 * "They killed my car. And now they're going to kill me. OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOD."
 * Super Street Fighter IV replicates this scene if you complete the car crusher game as either Guy or Cody.
 * In Aero Fighters 3 / Sonic Wings 3, Keaton the old-fashioned cyborg gets his human body back. There's one problem with it though:
 * "WARNING! A HUGE BATTLESHIP MY HOME DADDY IS APPROACHING FAST"
 * Breath of Fire 3, after unsealing Deis. If Garr getting the stuffing beat out of him by a hot naked chick half his size isn't funny, I don't know what is.
 * Also, when you first meet Momo, check out the bookcases for some reading material her dad left behind.
 * ZombieDr. Just... watch for yourself.
 * In one area of Target Terror, an arcade rail shooter where you fight terrorists, when you fight terrorists at an airport terminal, you actually have to take out terrorists in a bathroom! You begin by approaching four guys using urinals; three are terrorists and one is innocent. They turn around, and two start shooting while one throws dynamite, and the innocent walks slowly away with his hands up (I feel sorry for that innocent bystander). Turn left, where a terrorist is taking aim above a toilet stall where a woman (I guess this is a unisex bathroom) pops out from above another closed stall as another terrorist is firing from an open stall. This gives you the idea to start kicking in some of the toilet stalls. First stall: Terrorist standing up ready to shoot. Second stall: Poor hapless innocent bystander wearing glasses with his pants down on the toilet reading a newpaper, then having to awkwardly cover himself when he sees you. Whoops. Third stall: A terrorist sitting on the toilet with his pants down reading a newpaper; he takes his time to fold up his newspaper to draw his pistol, so if you took long enough to let him fire, you deserve to lose a life, and the toilet flushes when you kill him. I guess even terrorists have to use the bathroom at some point or another. By the time I was done, I was cracking up laughing due to that scene.
 * Katawa Shoujo has a great moment during Rin's ending in Act I. You can help the spacey, artistic armless girl with a lot of things, Hisao, but you can't help her with that.
 * And then there's this line, as Rin guesses what Hisao's disability is:

"Raziel: (to Kain) Oh, no. Everytime you turn up, something monumentally terrible happens. I don't think I have the stomach for it."
 * ...Is she aware that Hisao is being controlled by someone playing a dating sim? That could be the subtlest You Suck in history.
 * In fact, just about anything said by Rin. "...so that's why I'm trying to figure out if there is something I need to figure out and then figure that out before it's too late and all hope is lost."
 * The same goes for Kenji. "There can only be one, like in that foreign movie where there could only be one, and in the end there is only one dude left, because that was the point."
 * Legacy of Kain has some great ones, including;

"Kamille, to Master Asia: Yes. I always hated my name. But getting wailed on by you has definitely made me feel more manly."
 * The Dynasty Warriors Gundam games are a Massive Multiplayer Crossover of various Gundam universes, some of which vary greatly in tone and subject matter. Rather than trying to fight the weirdness, the game designers apparently decided to just roll with it and embrace the potential for silliness. In particular, pretty much any time Wangsty Teen Genius Kamille Bidan comes into contact with the completely over-the-top Hot-Blooded characters from G Gundam, hilarity ensues.

""Stop talking to yourself! Augh!""
 * The regular Dynasty Warriors series is notable for its Narmy moments, but the gameplay lends itself to some moments of genuine hilarity. Case in point, Gan Ning vs. Cao Cao in DW5. Gan Ning unloads a seemingly devastating musou attack on Cao Cao...only for Cao Cao to turn around and very calmly curb stomp him. Cue the Game Over screen and Gan Ning's scream of humiliation.
 * "You idiots. That was OUR village!"
 * In the ending of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, when the Prince offers Farah The Prince's response to this:  After the, seeing the Prince utilize it on a much smaller scale for such a trivial reason is hilarious.
 * This troper laughed out loud when the Prince began talking to himself during the game as he began to feel the absence of Farah, eventually ending up having to tell himself to shut up. More than once.

"Ladysmith: "More Money? GIVE! ME! MY! STUFF!""
 * While most of the insane ramblings of the Splicers from Bio Shock are genuinely unnerving, anything that comes out the mouth of the snooty and arrogant Ladysmith Splicer is pure comedy gold. My particular favourite would have to be:

"Dr. Grossman: "When is a fever not a fever? WHEN I SAY IT ISN'T!""
 * As hilarious as most of her lines are, it's Dr. Grossman who get's the best material, hands down:

"Dr. Grossman: "There's semen! On everything! EVERYTHING!"
 * And this Troper's favorite:

"Ray: (To Player) Look! Inbound! You're gonna wanna avoid those! Or take care of them!
 * The sequel also has a great moment. The room where you get the Incinerate plasmid has two mannequin displays. Right after picking the plasmid up, an announcer tells you to use it to light a mock fireplace, next to a simulated couple. A flick of the fingers, and the fireplace lights up...also lighting up the oil leaking from the display, causing both mannequins to burst into flames.
 * "Top hat, you're my new best friend!"
 * Most of the vending machines offer a range of useful ammunition and health/power restoratives. This troper had to laugh when he visited the one at the theater in Fort Frolic, and discovered it contained only snacks...at outrageous prices.
 * Ghostbusters: The Video Game, being scripted by the franchise's creators Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis, contains many dialogue gems on par with the films. My particularly favourite exchange occured during the boss fight with a projectile-hurtling Mr. Stay Puft:
 * Ghostbusters: The Video Game, being scripted by the franchise's creators Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis, contains many dialogue gems on par with the films. My particularly favourite exchange occured during the boss fight with a projectile-hurtling Mr. Stay Puft:

Egon: (Deadpan) He's right, rookie. Your health insurance doesn't begin for another 89 days."

"Ray: Give him S'more! What? I can be funny too you know."
 * Before that, you're running through the streets of Manhattan while fighting Stay Puft and when you shoot him with the Bason Dart.

"(After Ray has been possessed in the loading dock area)
 * Whenever Ray gets possessed in the museum level.

WINSTON: How you doin', Ray?

RAY: (dazed) Hazza buzza. Hazza buzza? Bozza wazza shum."

"Dr. Cortex: The greatest evil in the world...stuck in a pipe! What could possibly be worse? *farts* ......*anguished squeal*."
 * The scene in Crash Twinsanity when main villain Dr. Cortex's whole body (including his head) is stuck in a pipe. Normally fart jokes are considered the lowest of kid's media, but the comedic timing and his squeal made for grade A humor.

"Those who have been irradiated are kindly asked to never, ever leave the plant again.
 * The end of the funeral in one of the many side stories in Chibi Robo. And yes, I said the end of a funeral.
 * Early in during Breath of Fire 4, the jumping tutorial will be made intresting as Nina fluffs a jump and falls stright down. Ryu ninjas his way down to catch her, only to notice that, hey, she's a Windian and she can fly, BAM! Ryu kisses the ground.
 * The Hazyview Eight track in Need for Speed Shift. Specifically, the 30-lap endurance race with a 16-car grid later in the game. You make it through one lap... then you realize the track intersects itself. Million-dollar car demo derby ensues. And you get bonus driver points for hitting cars.
 * Over 75% of all lines made by Priel in Luminous Arc. Also Iris's "I PLAYED AN INCORRECT FILE."
 * Also one particular intermission, which allows Alph to point blank ask Vanessa "Are they real?" The best bit?
 * Zork Grand Inquisitor. Basically all of it. Starting with the intro movie.
 * "Never forget 'who is the boss of you?' ME! I am the boss of YOU! I! AM! THE BOSS! OF YOU!
 * The humorous material in the game can be divided into five categories: things Dalboz says ("You gain 86 experience points and found a healing potion. Oops, um, wrong kind of dungeon master."), Have a Nice Death messages ("At least this is what you assume he does. You are far too dead to know for certain."), moments involving Antharia Jack ("Can I at least have a hug?"), things your three totemized party members say ("Oh c'mon! You gotta be a moron to perform impromptu root canal on a sleeping dragon. It just isn't done."), and everything else ("The Alarm System is down. Can everybody please try and cheer him up?").
 * Some of the manuals for games published by Working Designs. The description for RayCrisis's Encroachment Meter, for example: "Determines the amount of suckage."
 * While the F.E.A.R. games are usually about as unfunny as you can get, the recent F.E.A.R. 2: Reborn DLC has a darkly hilarious hidden scene which shows what can happen when the Replica Foxtrot 508 tries to be helpful and starts asking a few too many questions --.
 * The Sims 2: Apartment Life gets one on the loading screen, with "Telling Splines To Reticulate More Quietly".
 * The Sims series is full of CMoF. What about the alien birth scene? I can't watch it without laughing. The poor sim just looks so...surprised.
 * The opening movie of Majesty 2.
 * Spyro the Dragon, third game. After you pay off Moneybags to rescue Agent 9, he remarks "You ever seen a bear dance?" He then chases Moneybags around, firing lasers at him. It's funnier than it sounds.
 * "Why, you brazenly avaricious, duplicitous, larcenous ursine!"
 * Half-Life 2: Episode One. Alyx Vance. "Maybe you should hit it with a crowbar just in case." That is all.
 * Alyx again in Episode 1. After climbing out of the crashed train car finding out you have to fight your way through zombie infested territory. As soon as you turn your back to Alyx and your flashlight runs out in the safer zones, you hear a zombie moaning noise. Just turn your flashligh back on and look at Alyx. She is just a few seconds away from bursting out with laughter.
 * The Oh Crap factor of this is somewhat reduced if you have subtitles on, as it comes up as something to the effect of 'makes zombie noise' in Alyx's pink subtitle colour.
 * When you struggle through some underground passage in company of a very witty Vortigaunt. "Ah-h, no pit would be complete without a Freeman climbing out of it."
 * Also note the exploding minecart and flaming zombie torso that fall down the pit as you climb up. There's no accompanying sounds or anything, just random flaming zombie torso falling down the pit at you.
 * Rabbids Go Home is pretty amusing on its own, but the level "Atomic Rabbid Blast" is hilarious. In addition to one of the unseen plant employees constantly complaining to his partner "Bob" about rabbits in the reactor, the annoucer lady's cool nonchalance about, well, everything is completely amazing.

Will the person who borrowed the giant, highly radioactive atomic battery please report to the welcome desk? Thank you!"

"What part of TOP. SECRET. do you not understand?!"
 * On one level, you enter a top secret area. The announcer's pleas that you leave get increasingly hilarious.

"Lopez: Make sure your clothes always match; that's fashion rule number one! Fashion rule number two is, no one can pull off sequins."
 * In Ace Combat X: Skies of Deception, at the end of "End of Deception II", Gryphus One's allies sing his praises for being able to destroy Archelon Fortress. One of them butts in to claim that he could have made it too if the gate to the fortress didn't shut behind Gryphus One. The others proceed to shut him down cheerily.
 * In mission 12A from 5, "Powder Keg", everyone in Wardog squad is exhausted from constant sorties. After taking out about a third of the tunnels, Chopper starts on a joke but forgets what he wanted to say halfway through, and Edge calls him out on his constant chatter. Even if you didn't find him annoying, the exchange is a lot funnier than it should be.
 * The final mission starts with everyone in your squadron shouting your name. You can either respond "yes", in which case they all confirm they're ready to rock, or you can say "no", which causes them all to just groan loudly.
 * Also from Ace Combat 5: "Missiles approaching! Begin Phalanx fire! *buzzing of the Phalanx* .. NO, STOP! You're firing on the docks!"
 * Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box manages to have one within a puzzle. You have a crazy, mazelike container with three openings, smelly garlic inisde, and two corks. You have to save the fellow observing the container from having to smell the garlic. The instructions the game gives you? "Tap an opening to plug it." The actual solution?
 * Also, one fashion-conscious NPC gives you some advice:

"Flynn: There's a guy above you, there's a guy above you!
 * Mario and Sonic at The Olympic Games. Luigi breakdancing when he gets 1st place: hilarious. Luigi breakdancing after beating Sonic and Shadow at a speed match: priceless.
 * The Uncharted games are generally much funnier than most games due to Nathan Drake being an expert Deadpan Snarker. Possibly the height of these moments, however, comes when you finally get back to the beginning sequence of Among Thieves, where Nate is inexplicably trapped in a train car hanging over a cliff and has to climb up before it falls over. Admittedly, the sequence is rather grim both times you visit it, since and is thus fighting million-to-one odds in favor of his death, but the "second" time you play it, Nate is grumbling the entire time about playing the hero and  and how he is so sick of climbing shit and...Nate, you were just, why am I laughing so hard?
 * In the beginning of Among Thieves, when Nate and Flynn are breaking into a museum: Nate's about to climb up onto a roof when a guard approaches.

(Nate grabs the guard and tosses him off the roof into the water below.)

Flynn: There's a guy below you, there's a guy below you!"

"Driver: "Then what am I supposed to do with all this cheese?"
 * Occasionally, when you kick an enemy in the face to take him down, Nate will shout "I will KICK you to sleep!"
 * In Among Thieves, if you flip through Drake's journal, you'll come across such tongue-in-cheek notes as "The Many Faces of Victor (goddamn) Sullivan" and a two-page spread that has the names and numbers of several women that Nate has assumedly slept with.
 * "Marco!"
 * The ending to Wario Land Shake It!. Our hero has just saved the entire world from the tyranny of the Shake King. Queen Merelda walks up to him, as soft romantic music plays in the background. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome and a good description of Wario's character.
 * La-Mulana: You're more likely to cry than laugh, though.
 * Return to Castle Wolfenstein has an amusing conversation with an exasperated driver trying to get a guard to let him enter the occupied village with a truckload of food for the General's mansion, mostly cases of cheese. It ends with him being refused, and the following:

Guard: "I don't know. Find some crackers?""

"Jo-Beth: "Um, you first."
 * Rock Band recently had one for this troper. While playing the DLC song 'Clint Eastwood', the screen went to a photonegative effect for the spoken word rap portion of the song....and cut to the band's drummer, in this case a short skinny white guy with dreads, belting out the lyrics like a beast, playing it up for the camera, and still playing his drums.
 * This is kind of a Shout-Out to the Gorillaz' canon. Their drummer is possessed, and it's the spirit who does that rap while the drummer plays on.
 * TimeSplitters 3: After fighting their way through a haunted mansion, tough-guy Cortez and Stripperiffic, ghost-hunter Jo-Beth Casey discover a trap-door over a dark, runged shaft leaving deeper into the subterranean caves beneath the basement.

Cortez:"

"Ya know, I don't care if you tell me 'It's for the Castle' or anything. I'M NEVER NARRATING AGAIN!!"
 * And her reaction? Two seconds of cocked eyebrow followed by an unconcerned shrug.
 * Pretty much anytime Cortez causes a Stable Time Loop, you know something funny is going to happen
 * Mega Man X4: X goes in to fight Split Mushroom, who says he's under orders to destroy him. When X demands to know whose orders it is, Mushroom replies "Take a wild guess."
 * Manhunt: The Smilies. Full stop.
 * Vaclav had the most embarrassing final blow ever. HE ran over to take out Norma and Will...and Norma blew bubbles in his face and finished him off. HILLARIOUS!!!
 * Capcom in general will do this, usually in a bad translation or misquote, an example would be Mr. X Wily saying that his plan for world domination has Faild...That's how it was spelled.
 * Infinite Space has plenty of funny moments, whether they come from the plot or tavern conversations. The most memorable one is when Nia, who is drunk at that time, dresses both Ian and Yuri as girls.
 * Suikoden V has an example that is either this or Brain Bleach material, when.
 * The whole lot of Theater scripts in Suikoden III. Putting Viki in any role is guaranteed for funny, or a real bad actress like Chris in any role, or someone really quirky like Fred Maxmillian (who always give out his real name, not acted character name, in any opportunity possible) or Landis (Giving off lots of creepy "Yuh huh huh" here and there). But the cream of the crop is if you do the Neclord stage play with Geddoe as the narrator, whereas in the end, he breaks down his stoicism and complains hard.

"Calvin: You hear me?! NO WANTON DESTRUCTION!"
 * Harvest Moon: Animal Parade has the incident in which Calvin attempts to stop Luke and Owen from knocking down a wall in some ancient ruins:

"Luke: Another day? But I'm pumped for this now!

Calvin: Pump yourself up to read a history book!"

"Steven: ] CLEAN UP! REGISTER 6! [Dies.]"
 * Not to mention the scene in which Gill tries to give orders to Luke (and Bo) to build a desk. "A normal desk." Luke doesn't get it.
 * From Dead Rising. After Steven is defeated, he gives a rather strange monologue before finally collapsing in front of the registers. Five seconds later...

"Lisa: That's it! Now I'm really pissed off! You can't blame me for what happened! I didn't think it was going to turn out like this! What! At least I don't get off on pulling down people's pants, Mr. Pervert!!! You frickin' Pants Leader...!!! Pants Leader! Pants Leader!
 * For a game that can be quite depressing throughout the whole thing, Persona 2 has a great sense of humor. A certain scene early in "Innocent Sin" involves the main characters trying to stop a curse that causes all students wearing a Seven Sisters High School's emblem to have their faces melt and deform. Cue a serious scene where the characters are discussing it in the school's office until two of members get into one of their many heated arguments, pumping their arms around in great PSX graphics and sprites at the same time.

Eikichi: You should talk, freak! You're just a Chinese-speaking American in Japan! Ha! What the hell are you anyway!? Here let me give you a nickname! From now on, I'm going to call you "Ginko"! Ginko! Ginko! Ginko! Ginko!

Lisa: No! No, no, no, no! Don't you dare call me that stupid nickname!"

""You got the Girl Wings! Wings like a GIRL!""
 * Gran Turismo 4 has one when you fail a license test in the game. Oooooooooohhhh yeeeeeaaaaahhhh!
 * GT5 has one where the dumb AI drivers almost repeatedly keep bungling the same corner of a race - the Schumacher S chicane of the Nurburgring GP circuit in the Formula Gran Turismo Challenge, especially when they do it en masse.
 * Halfway through Sigma Star Saga, Psyme falls victim to an apparent illness after Ian Recker gave her a kiss. Knowing nothing about Krill physiology, Recker assumes that he impregnated her...somehow. (Two Krillian healers tell him that "this is a special moment between you two", not helping his case any.) He then takes her back to the Forest Planet to dip her in a pool to allow her to "recover", and the expecting dad is instead greeted by a perfectly healthy Psyme, now sporting a new set of fairy-like wings. After chastising him for failing Krill physiology 101, she gives the wings to him for use by his parasite, admitting that they only grow on Krill females whenever they feel...close to a person. The game then congratulates the player for acquiring Psyme's gift by taking a jab at Recker's, erm..."manliness":

"Player Character: [talking about evil spirit in brewery] "There's an evil spirit I need help with!"
 * The Desperation Attacks in Magical Battle Arena are a collection of some truly deadly-looking moves, which includes getting blasted by Nanoha's Excelion Buster at point-blank range, getting sliced by Lina's Ragna Blade or Fate's Jet Zamber, and getting sealed as one of Sakura's Sakura Cards then forcibly ejected. And then you get to Naga. What could she possibly have that can match the aforementioned attacks in dishing out pain?
 * Runescape: After reacquiring a number of brains stolen from some monks (it makes sense in context), your character is made to watch the re-implanting scene. Thankfully, a kitten playing with a ball of wool saves you the horrific scene. Your character isn't so lucky.
 * "I DON'T WANT MY EYES ANYMORE!" - Player Character 's reaction to this scene.
 * In fact, the Pirate Quest Series appears to be a veritable generator of these. Like this:

Priest in the brewery: "Sure, lots of people need professional help after coming in contact with the spirits we have here.""

"Player: "I could.. get you [Zabeth Corved the musician's] autograph?
 * And Traiborn summoning the Thingummywut. It also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for Traiborn. what makes this funny? Before doing the Love Story quest, listen to what Traiborn says about Thingummywuts...then watch the cutscene. It is glorious. And really freaking huge.
 * The Grim Reaper in the 2010 Haloween Event.

Grim: "OHMYWORDIWOULDSOTOTALLYLOVEANAUTOGRAPH!""

""Ouch...That's gonna leave a mark.""
 * This tool assisted run (Somewhat NSFW) of Family Feud on SNES. Basically, the player exploits the game to make the game accept ridiculous answers like "oops I pressed it" instead of "speed limit" or "I bathed Keanu Reeves" instead of "Baker," and never allows the opposing family to play once. The best part is that said opposing family looks a combination of confused and incredibly pissed the entire time.
 * Star Wars Bounty Hunter, the game featuring Jango Fett as a protagonist, has a series of extras that portray various "bloopers" throughout the game as though it was a film in progress. Overall, they're pretty corny and lame, with one notable exception: in the game, a character remarks that "No one goes to a Hutt without something to offer," sparking a brief detour from the main plot as Fett snags a small time gang leader that had been a thorn in Jabba's side so he can meet with the Hutt. In the outtake, Fett's "something to offer" changes to a ridiculous dance number with a group of Gamorrean guards as backup dancers. The video can be seen here.
 * When Fett and Montross have their final confrontation, Montross states that they are the same. Fett replies, "Now you're just being mean."
 * May's, Faust's and Bridget's Instant Kills. They have to be seen to be believed.. (They can be located around 1:50, 4:58, and 6:36 in the video respectively.)
 * At one point in Secret of Mana, you save Santa -- at the request of Rudolph.
 * By beating the shit out of (a transformed) him, no less.
 * Tekken 5. Lee's ending. "Two fingers".
 * Alternatively, Paul's ending. "BRING IT ON, YA ALIENS!"
 * And Lei's ending where he's about to arrest a man on top of a moving bus and gets whacked in the back of the head by an incoming sign.

""Wassup?"
 * Marshall Law's ending.
 * During Yoshimitsu's story mode, you fight new character Raven, who is basically a ninja Wesley Snipes, aka a serious ninja. If you lose, you're treated to a cutscene of Raven attempting to teach Yoshimitsu ninja hand signs, with little success.
 * Kuma and Panda's Tekken 5 endings. Kuma's is here and Panda's is here. Hilarity Ensues.
 * The "Nuke" button in Lemmings is there for a reason -- to make you laugh guiltily when they clutch their heads, shout "Oh no!", and explode. The sequel adds physics to this so they get blown about the level like ragdolls, all while they're popping like machine-gunned balloons.
 * Winning the fourth hovercraft race in Beyond Good and Evil. The excitement goes straight to Double H's head, and he decides that he can only express his joy by planting a wet one on Jade. Jade's reaction is somewhere between humorous annoyance and abject horror. Do Not Want!
 * Shooting at the ships in the bay. Their reactions are all quite funny, but the funniest are the airship containing an absolutely insane woman who takes the freak out to new levels, and the Large Ham with the Scotireland accent who sounds like he escaped a cheesy naval movie. "MASTER KOI! WE'RE BEING FIRED UPOOOOON!"
 * From Gruntz, a fun game by Monolith studios, you click on your Grunt to select him. What if you keep clicking him though?
 * "Yo"

"Y'ello?"

"Stop Clicking Me"

"I'm serious!"

"STOOOOOOPPPP IIIIIIITTTTT!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"CAN'T...TAKE IT ANYMORE! GOING....TO EXPLODE, UUUUUAAAAAAAHHHH.....heh heh, scared ya, didn't I?""

"And as the final warp stone piece was placed, the worm hole OPENED!" * FART* "Yeah, and that's when Grimley farted on me, and the King couldn't BELIEVE how loud it was." "He was looking at the wormhole, you imbecile!" "Yeah...that's when I turned to my brother and said 'We REALLY need to lay off those mushrooms'" "No you didn't, you said 'Mommy, mommy, I want to go home, and you all jumped into the worm hole, leaving your precious baby toy behind, UAHAHAHAHAHAHA" "Hey, who you callin' a baby?! Your MOM didn't mind my baby toy, your momma LIKES my baby toy, okay BABY!?" "That's it! Enough of my mother, this game, I'VE HAD IT!" "oooooh, he's kickin' stuff now, ain't he? Your momma loves my baby toy, your momma loves my baby toy...ahahahaha!" "Dan: Iji, about those ceiling lamps...
 * Also, the intro AND outro are hilarious...
 * You can find it in its entirety right here.
 * In Iji, the title character and her brother have the following conversation if you have spent the majority of Level 1 jumping and breaking light fixtures with your head:

Iji, with bits of glass in her hair: What?

Dan: ...Um, nevermind."

"Drong: Mmmmm...
 * The Scrambler. (Nearly every mention of Yukabacera, actually.) "A pony...with missiles!"
 * The entire ending of No More Heroes was one big crowning moment for this troper, as the entire game dips straight into medium-aware surreality for its final moments, with characters conversing about delaying the game and raising its ESRB rating further while calling each other out on surprisingly convenient plot revelations so close to the end.
 * Another great moment came in four words: . Too perfect.
 * During the trip across the beach to fight Holly Summers, Travis destroys multiple electric fences, and as he tries to walk over them, the game shows a cutsene where he steps on a land mine and gets blown a few feet away. After he destroys the last one, we see a cutsene where he almost puts his foot on a landmine, stops, smirks as if to say "not falling for that again" and steps over the mine... Cue Skyward Scream.
 * Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords has one during the ending. After defeating Bane, the God of Death, the game remembers that one of your companions is an Extreme Omnivore...

You: Drong - no. You can't eat Bane!

Drong: Why not?

You: He was the God of Death - I don't think that would be good for you.

Drong: But you say to Drong he can eat the next God he find.

You: Yeah...well...okay, then."

"Razoff: You will be perfect in my living room... STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON MY WALL!!!"
 * The ending of Crisis Zone. With Derrick Lynch defeated and a nuclear meltdown averted, the STF gets ready to ascend back up to the surface. Except they try the elevator and it's broken. One of the squad members points to a flight of stairs. He also points out that, them being five kilometers underground, it's five kilometers of stairs.
 * In Rayman 3, any conversion you overhear the Knaaren have.
 * In the first Rayman Origins trailer, when Rayman and Globox meet, they become friends by slapping and punching each other. Also, during a fight with a golem Globox latches onto the side of it's head with his teeth and starts slapping his eye.
 * Also from Rayman 3, most of Razoff's quotes.

"Andre: Wow, Reflux! You're so big and strong!
 * And how could we possibly forget this line from Rayman 3?:

Reflux: YES, ANDY.

Andre: With your power, I can multiply and rule the world!

Reflux: YES, ANDY.

Andre: "Yes Andy", "Yes Andy", CAN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE???

Reflux: NO, ANDY."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
 * The scene in the Rayman Origins intro in which Rayman realizes he's holding a skull in his hand, then screams in a high-pitched voice, then everyone else starts screaming.

"Bond: Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock. [WHACK!]"
 * The downloadable game Duty Calls, released to promote Bulletstorm. It mercilessly mocks many tropes present in "realistic" first-person shooters.
 * This Jhun vs Jhun match in King Of Fighters 2003. Jhun #1 tries to exploit the Amazing Flying Jhun glitch and ends up frozen in mid-air. After a few attempts at attacking from the ground, Jhun #2 decides to just spend the rest of the match dancing right below him before kicking him out of the air at the last second and winning the match by time out.
 * Scarface: The World Is Yours. Various citizens have rich dialogue trees with Tony Montana. For example; the masked wrestler with the fried chicken obsession, the bald man who wants to talk about conspiracies and the romantic music suggestions from the music store owner.
 * Sometimes the trees just don't work out and completely random, absolutely nonsensical conversations ensue. Or the taunt button, which could lead to Tony screaming at no one in paticular in an empty street.
 * The Punisher. After you throw a mook down the well at Ma Gnucci's place, stick around. He's not quite dead.
 * Dead Space 2: Upon completing the game on Hard Core mode, you unlock...a red foam finger. When you fire it, you can hear Isaac going "Bang bang" (primary fire) or "Pew pew" (alt fire), and all you see is his hand a trigger-pulling movement inside the finger. Oh, and you also see the limbs fly off of the Necromorph you were just pointing at.
 * The measures Ubisoft took to discourage anyone who would pirate Michael Jackson: The Experience:  Talk about a cool and unusual punishment.
 * GoldenEye's second mission, the Facility, starts you off in an air vent. You make your way through the vents to a bathroom. And there's a guard in the stall you pop into.
 * This one's a nod to the way Bond takes out his first mook in the movie it's based on:

"NPC You, uh, just fought the God of Toilets, so be sure to wash your hands!"
 * On episode 4 of The Way you find yourself interrupting a cutscene of a young boy arguing with his mother about whether to urinate in the corner of the house or outside.
 * Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey has one sidequest early on, where you must deal with a toilet on your mobile base which is being haunted by the God of Toilets, who is angry that you haven't been keeping your bathroom clean enough. When you beat him:

What he says after you've bugged his office is good, but no ones bothered to make of vid with it all. Though it of course, is the mention of a shipping I loathe. Other then that, its good. ""You have chosen poorly."
 * Sly Cooper to this troper, its Dimitri in general. Here's a few scenes
 * Dimitri babbles to himself. Bonus points for when you fail the mission. I DARE you not to laugh at "Smokey Alert! FREAK OUT!
 * Dimitri gives an announcement
 * Dimitris bossbattle, followed by his last words. Also the hells up with the way he runs here?
 * Dimitri sees sly again for the first time in a while.( not sure if they used all of the choices, but I can assure you if they did, its a lot more worth watching if they did
 * Dimitri wants a favor
 * Dimitri gives commentary, part one. Not his funniest moment, but I have crashed a few times during it
 * Dimitri gives commentary, part two(its kinda far into it, I think
 * Dimitri preps up for his first mission
 * Wave Race Blue Storm: The hidden announcer, who is... impolite, to put it nicely.

"If you are any good, you can get a turbo by hitting the gas when the light goes green."

"Weak." "That's pathetic." "Waste of time." "No mercy."

"OOOH, A TURBO."

"Pass the yellow buoys on the left."

"You've betrayed what little trust I've put in you."

"Last lap. Soon, the agony will end."

"Were you born a loser, or did it just take practice?"

"You don't have an inferiority complex; you're just inferior.""

""Your wins are like diamonds, kid: Very rare.""
 * And when you actually do win a race...

"What's an airport?
 * The US localization of Gunbird (known as Mobile Light Force in the states) has one of these if you know enough about the original Japanese version. Among the many, many changes made, the playable characters were renamed after members of the localization team. Two of these characters, Tetsu and Ash, are actually Camp Gay and a pedophile respectively in the original Japanese version.
 * From the mouth of a Commanding Officer in his second major war:

Continents? Really?"

""'Pit'? That doesn't even sound Greek!"
 * Esp Galudas program ROM + Ketsuis graphical and sound ROMs = this. YOUR MISSIONS!
 * Glory of Heracles (Nintendo DS): When Heracles gets ready to sail to Sparta, Leucos thinks that he should take up an alias, since being an immortal would lead to many people setting out to try to "prove it". When she suggests the name "Pit", Axios responds:

Even funnier, when you get to enter your own alias for the hero, you can try to enter the name "Pit"...but the game will reject you and ask you to enter something else."


 * Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness has some very funny cutscenes. But two of the best ones are:
 * The cutscene in Episode 1 where Gabe punches the crap out of the fortune-telling machine.
 * The cutscene in Episode 2 where Gabe comes out of the kitchen with a pink apron and pink oven mitts, holding a pie, then the whole building starts on fire, so he and the player character run, and Tycho comes out of the room he was in, sees Gabe and the player running, and notices the place crumbling down, then he screams like a girl.