Fontes' Rants

Fontes' Rants is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author (Fontes) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on Deviant ART. It also has cheap laughs from time to time.

Recurring original characters include Fontes himself, an unnamed fangirl, Tanooki the raccoon, Fontes' friend Steven Worker, and Takeshi, Fontes' "son" by the Life Note.

This work provides examples of:
"Spider Man: 'Tha hell? Did ya took the elevator, or something?!
 * Ascended Extra: Luigi knocked out the Playstation Network with a Death Note, gave Sony the idea for a rear touchpad, and kicked Batman off a building.
 * Ass Shove: Ever wonder how TMs work in Pokémon?
 * Author Avatar: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as Sora, Naruto, and Wolverine.
 * Badass Normal: Who climbs faster?

Ezio: Silenzio, ragno! You now owe me fifty dollars."

"Fighter: Ehm... dude, it was his turn.
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: Occasionally, but one comic was just Fontes looking at the reader, pointing down, saying "keep scrolling down". Turns out, he actually puts a rant under most of the comics, and apparently not many noticed.
 * Combat Pragmatist: In one of Fontes' many Final Fantasy parodies. On the left, a Black Mage. On the right, a White Mage and a Fighter. The black mage starts to cast Firaga, when the white mage unloads a shotgun into his face.

Fontes: I don't fuckin' care!!!"

"Hitmonchan uses "Falcon Punch"!
 * Also, using the golden gauntlets to throw a one ton obelisk at Ganondorf's head.
 * Concealment Equals Cover: Subverted; Fontes avoids Takeshi's gunfire by hiding behind a chair, then notes that Takeshi's guns only shoot "heavily compressed air".
 * Cool vs. Awesome: Captain Falcon and Chuck Norris as Pokémon trainers.

Hitmonlee uses "Roundhouse Kick"!"

"Fontes: ...I really shouldn't have made him able to summon firearms..."
 * Didn't Think This Through: Fontes decided to use the Life Note to create an Ax Crazy Marty Stu character. One broken nose and bout of unconsciousness later;

"Fontes: ...I really hate him for leaving Charizard behind!"
 * Disproportionate Retribution: Fontes used the Life Note to create Ash Ketchum to catch Takeshi, but also used it to make Ash's blood turn to acid afterwards for a slow, agonizing death.

"Luma: Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!"
 * Does This Remind You of Anything:

"Mook: Stop at once!
 * Fan Girl: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over Inuyasha.
 * Good Old Fisticuffs: Fontes plays Skyrim.
 * Highly Visible Ninja:

Naruto: Hell no! Bahleeeve it!

Nearby "Box": *sigh* ...Rookies..."

"Bridget: You look like a queer, ya know?"
 * Hypocritical Humor:

"Sora: What?! What's so funny?!
 * I'm a Humanitarian: Skyrim again.
 * Improbable Weapon User:

Fontes: Just look at that thing!!!

Sora: ...? ...Aww, fuck you, Square!!!"


 * Lampshading: Probably the main theme of the comic, actually.
 * Mundane Utility: "Dai Gurren Dental Care". Yes.
 * Power Glows, but may not be safe to use as a flashlight.
 * The Power of Creation: The Life Note grants this to whoever uses it.
 * Stylistic Suck: How do you make fun of a gaming console with a stupid name? With an equally stupid comic strip.
 * Team Pet: Tanooki.