The Undead (film)

Two psychiatrists and a hooker walk into an office. Set up to a bad joke or set up of a bad Roger Corman movie?

You don't have to choose!

An ethically challenged "psychical researcher" by the name of Quintis has hired a Brooklyn streetwalker named Diana for $500. But in this movie, she'll be turning the trick of Time Travel. See, Quintis believes he can put Diana into a hypnotic trance and send her back into her past lives. His colleague, a somewhat homely bald man, is skeptical. Turns out that Quintis is kind of an evil genius. He succeeds in putting Diana into that trance and he succeeds in sending her back in time to a past life as "Helene," who is wrongfully accused of being a witch and thus faces execution in the morning. Score one for Quintis.

What follows is a somewhat mangled string of plots, counter-plots, knights, witches, "enchanted" gravediggers, imps, taverns, more time travel and princes of darkness. Yes, Satan is an important player in Mr. Corman's little production. As Quintis explains a few times, never very clearly, Diana/Helene is left with a choice: because Diana helped Helene escape prison before her execution as a witch, Helene can either live out her life in Dark Age Europe with her mediocre love interest, and in doing so snuff out the existence of her future lives from the time paradox, or go back and allow herself to get beheaded at dawn on schedule, thus ensuring all future iterations of Diana will exist and flourish.

For the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, please go to the episode recap page.

The Undead Contains Examples Of:
"Quintis: Please, Professor, we must hurry. (Looks at watch) The time here probably matches the time then, which means that it's close to midnight, the time before the Witch's Sabbath."
 * AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle: In addition to "PENDRA-gon," "Nepal" is apparently pronounced with the stress on the first syllable, so it sounds like... something else.
 * Aerith and Bob: Starring Pendragon, Scroop, Livia, Gobbo, Quintis, and...Meg.
 * Beauty Equals Goodness: Inverted with Meg and Livia
 * Can't Take Anything With You: Quintis shows up in the past without a stitch on. Possibly the inspiration for The Terminator.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: Smolken.
 * Comic Relief: Smolkin the gravedigger.
 * The Dead Can Dance: "(monotone) We are family... I've got Satan's corpses in me..."
 * Deal With the Devil: And get a free tattoo in the bargain!
 * Livia almost tricks Pendragon into selling his soul to free Helene (again, although she was already free at the time); Quintis talks him down by suggesting that he rent his soul to Satan, instead. The Devil doesn't bite.
 * Death Equals Redemption: Helene's Heroic Sacrifice inspires Diana to rethink her life.
 * Fan Service: Allison Hayes as Livia, the evil witch. Va-va-voom.
 * Good Witch Versus Bad Witch: Meg Maud Versus Livia.
 * Gratuitous Iambic Pentameter: Most of the dialog in the past is blank verse, and the meter varies between characters.
 * Hey Its That Guy: The imp is played by Billy Barty.
 * Roger Corman regular Dick Miller is one of the poor souls who comes to sell his soul to Satan.
 * Hoist By His Own Petard: Satan tempts Quintis to wait and watch Helene's execution, only to explain that he was only able to time travel when both Helene and Diana were alive, meaning that he's now Trapped in The Past.
 * Hot Witch: Livia. According to Meg, she was one of these for awhile, but she lost her youth and beauty when she tricked her soul back from Satan.
 * The Imp
 * Idiot Ball: Pendragon is a good knight. He is not a smart one.
 * In Spite of a Nail: Despite the body count presumably being vastly different in the original history, history works out as long as Helene dies on time. (See Fridge Logic above.)
 * It's Pronounced Tro-PAY: The characters insist on calling Pendragon "Pen-druh-gon", to Servo's annoyance.
 * Lantern Jaw of Justice: Pendragon.
 * Large Ham: Many cases, of course, but Quintis is the best example when he tries to convince Helene to STAY!!!! in the past.
 * Lawful Stupid: Oh, dear God, Pendragon.
 * Make Wrong What Once Went Right: Quintis wants to alter time for the hell of it.
 * Not So Different: Implied by Satan to Quintis at the end.
 * Our Time Travel Is Different: Apparently when you send someone's spirit back in time, your body and soul can ride piggy-back on it.
 * Fridge Brilliance / Truth in Television: It's actually a brilliant concept of time travel that was also the basis for Quantum Leap.
 * Prop Recycling: The bats that Livia and her imp change into are recycled props from Corman's It Conquered the World.
 * Reincarnation: Exploiting a fad of interest in the topic at the time the film was made. See also The She Creature.
 * San Dimas Time:


 * Satan: A particularly silly looking one.
 * Satire Parody Pastiche: Smolken's morbid variations on old Playground Songs.
 * Smug Snake: Quintis, oh so much.
 * Summation Gathering: When the entire main cast gathers in the cemetary near the end for Quintis to exposit about Helene's condition.
 * Tempting Fate: Scroup, the tavernkeeper. "No one can say that Scroup is one to lose his head!"
 * Human Sacrifice: "Then Scroup is a liar... and a head is needed for the Sabbath!" (Chop.)
 * The Vamp: Livia, who constantly tries to seduce Pendragon into either loving her or into selling his soul.
 * Voluntary Shapeshifting: Livia and her imp can do this with the aid of a Match Cut and a sparkler.
 * What the Hell Hero: "And our brave knight stabs an unarmed woman! Way to go, PENDRA-gon."
 * Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: "Noweth?"