Glee/Recap/S2/E12 Silly Love Songs

In class, Puck stares mournfully at Lauren and internally monologues that even a Casanova like him can't choose who to fall in love with, because he's in love with Lauren, who isn't exactly falling all over herself trying to get him to notice her.

After winning the football match, Finn's popularity has gone through the roof. All the girls are after him, to the point that he's got a locker full of candy hearts. However, Finn just wants one girl: Quinn. And Quinn's dating Sam. Finn wants Quinn, and doesn't care about Sam, so now the game's on. Jerk.

Kurt and Blaine are waiting in line at a coffee shop. Blaine's all mushy because it's nearly Valentine's Day, whereas Kurt doesn't give a fuck. Blaine wants Kurt's advice- he's been lusting after a certain unnamed guy, and he wants to know if it's too much to sing to someone on Valentine's Day. Kurt thinks Blaine's talking about him, so he tells Blaine to go for it. His assumption is supported by the fact that Blaine knows Kurt's coffee order. Aw.

In the music room, Will announces this week's assignment: the club will split into pairs and one will sing to the other what they deem to be the world's best love song. This can't end well. Finn makes an announcement that he's going to raise money for the Glee club by opening a kissing booth, charging a dollar per kiss. Santana, as per usual, is being a bitch. The Glee club point out collectively that Santana is an A-grade bitch, while Santana defends herself by saying that she's just keeping it real. Rachel points out that Santana can dish it out but not take it back, and Santana tells Rachel that she's destined to be a stripper and walks out. Oh, snap.

In the hallway, Brittany tries to comfort Santana, who admits that she's just trying to be honest with people. Nearby, Lauren approaches Puck and tells him that she doesn't need him sticking up for her. Puck says that he would never think that because she is oh so very tough, and asks her to dinner on Valentine's Day. Lauren mocks him for thinking that it would be that easy to ask her out, because she isn't desperate and if she's going out with anyone, she wants to be wooed.

At Dalton, Blaine pulls Kurt into a council meeting. He announces that he's in love and he wants the council to approve the Warblers singing a song at an off-campus location. The council don't want to do it, but Blaine accuses them of being 'privileged porcelain birds' and says that they lost Regionals because they don't have much experience singing in public. Kurt says that his old club performed anywhere, no matter how hostile the audience, and it gave them confidence. Blaine says that they'll be singing at a Gap. Kurt asks why, and Blaine says it's because the guy he likes is a manager there. Poor Kurt is stunned.

Cut to a slumber party containing Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes. He's just told them the whole story. Rachel asks if Blaine ever said that they were dating, and Kurt realises that he made it all up. Both of them sympathise and Mercedes says that he and Rachel need to stop being boy-crazy and be like her, since she's not in lust with anyone. Mercedes tells them that they need to be like their idols, who channeled their pain and loneliness into their music, and it's what made them stars.

In the music room, Puck sings 'Fat Bottomed Girls' to Lauren. Afterwards, Lauren says that it's the first time someone ever sung her a love song... and it made her feel like crap. Oh, boy.

At Finn's kissing booth, he and Quinn have an argument- Quinn feels that he's doing it as a way to pressure her into kissing him. She won't, because she doesn't want to hurt Sam. Who is watching them.

In the library, Quinn and Sam have a conversation which leads Quinn to tell him that she will, in fact, kiss Finn, since Sam obviously seems to think that it's important that she does.

Back at the kissing booth, Rachel gets a kiss from Finn. She tells him that she's still in love with him, but he can't forgive her for cheating. He's apparently the only one Rachel cares about. He gives her a Christmas present he never got to give her, and it's a gold star pendant. He tells her that she's a star, she needs to shine, and she doesn't need a guy to anchor her to Lima.

In the hallway, Artie and Mike congratulate each other on being the only two guys in a stable relationship. They sing 'P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing)' to Tina and Brittany, and Tina says that she's so in love she might just start crying.

Santana tells Puck she'll allow him to take her to Breadstix for Valentine's Day. He says no. She says that he's made his point, and she's still a bitch but she's willing to change. Lauren comes up and basically tells Santana to fuck off. Santana asks Lauren to please get out of her way, before Santana ends her. Yeah, right. After some intimidation in which Santana looks like a wannabe while Lauren looks evil, they fight. Lauren proves that she's not in the wrestling team for nothing, because she hands Santana's arse to her on a plate. So to speak. After Beiste breaks up the fight and takes Santana to the nurse, Puck begs Lauren to go out with him. She says that if he makes a formal presentation, she'll consider it.

Quinn goes to the kissing booth, kisses Finn, asks Sam if he's satisfied, and as they walk off together, she pretends she forgot her purse and as she gets it, she tells Finn a time and place to meet.

At the Gap, Blaine and Kurt check out the lust object, a guy called Jeremiah. Blaine tries to back out, but Kurt tells him to man up. Blaine and the Warblers sing 'When I Get You Alone' to Jeremiah, who isn't too pleased. Outside the mall, Jeremiah, Blaine and Kurt have a talk. Jeremiah got fired because of the singing and dancing. Nobody at the Gap knew he was gay, and he points out to Blaine that they only went out for coffee twice. He also points out that Blaine is jailbait.

In the music room, Santana is pissed off that everyone is getting some while she is single on Valentine's Day. She realises that Finn and Quinn are obviously cheating, so she decides to get a little revenge by comforting a student with mono/glandular fever (and by comforting, I mean kissing). She kisses Finn at the kissing booth and gives him mono.

In the library, Puck and Lauren talk about them. She thinks the song he sung her was offensive. Puck asks her to go on a pre-Valentine's day date with him, so if she likes it, she can go on the real thing on Valentine's Day. She accepts.

Quinn and Finn have a talk. Quinn refuses to break up with Sam until she's sure whether she loves him or Finn. Until then, however, she's happy to make out with Finn. Hypocritical bitch.

At the coffee shop, the roles have been reversed- Blaine now hates Valentine's Day. Kurt asks Blaine what Kurt was meant to make of all the meaningful glances and duets between them. Blaine is clueless as hell and admits that he has never actually dated. He really likes Kurt, but he's clueless about romance, and he doesn't want to screw anything up. They agree that their relationship can be like 'When Harry Met Sally', especially since Harry and Sally got together in the end. Oh, and Kurt knows Blaine's coffee order.

Outside Breadstix, Puck makes out with a woman who is not Lauren. The subsequent conversation reveals that she stood him up.

In the music room, Finn says that he's raised over 300 dollars. Tina sings 'My Funny Valentine' to Mike but ends up crying halfway through because she's so in love with him. Finn and Quinn go to the nurse, since they both have mono.

In the nurse's office, Quinn thinks she needs to stop cheating. Finn wants them to get back together, but Quinn refuses until she figures out where she stands about Sam and Finn figures out where he stands about Rachel.

Puck and Lauren talk. She genuinely forgot that she had a date. They talk some more, and she says that she genuinely likes Puck, but she isn't looking for someone to just fool around with- so she'll go out with him on Valentine's Day, but only as friends.

In the nurse's office, Rachel and Finn talk. She says that since Quinn is prettier than Rachel, it meant heaps to her that Finn chose her over Quinn. She asks if he kissed Quinn and he admits it, saying he needed to get it out of his system. They talk some more and Rachel decides that evidently, Quinn means more to Finn than she does, and it's what she needed to get over him. She walks off singing 'Firework'.

In Breadstix, Kurt and the Warblers welcome everyone (everyone from Glee minus Finn and Quinn) to the first Kurt Hummel Lonely Hearts Dinner. They then sing 'Silly Love Songs' and the episode ends.

Songs from this episode

 * "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen, performed by Puck
 * "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" by Michael Jackson, performed by Artie and Mike
 * "When I Get You Alone" by Robin Thicke, performed by Blaine and The Warblers
 * "My Funny Valentine" from Babes In Arms, sort of performed by Tina
 * "Firework" by Katy Perry, performed by Rachel
 * "Silly Love Songs" by Wings, performed by Blaine and the Warblers

This episode contains examples of:

 * Big Lipped Alligator Moment: Tina's breakdown during "My Funny Valentine"
 * Can't Get Away With Nuthin: Quinn gets mono after she cheats on Sam with Finn.
 * Getting Crap Past the Radar: The line in "When I Get You Alone","You can keep your toys in the drawer tonight"
 * Intercourse With You: "When I Get You Alone"
 * Oblivious to Love: Blaine.
 * Silly Love Songs: The episode shares its name with and contains the Trope Namer, and all of the songs pretty much fit this.