The Kronicals of Rebecca Swansin

Kronicals of Rebecca Swansin is a Twilight badfic by TwilightRova. It and its sequel, of which only the first chapter has been posted, has been largely ignored since they were last updated in 2010. However, ever since Serkadios started snarking it, the fic has gained a following in the Twilight Sucks snarking community (who are rather famous for creating numerous headcanons of badfics, even going so far as to create an expanded universe for a certain fanfic).

The fic follows Rebecca Swansin (whose friends call her Moon), Bella Swan's cousin, who recently moved in with Bella and her dad in Forks. Rebecca is an "enviyournmentalist" who... Doesn't really do all that much besides hate on Bella and talk to Edowird. But... Hey, the other characters do things occasionally!

Honestly, this fic is a lot better than you'd think, if you're looking for trollfic lulz. It also provides quite a few opportunities for fun headcanons.


 * All Men Are Rapists: Rebecca's attitude, judging by the locker room incident.
 * Break the Cutie: Bella Swan. Raped, mistreated by her cousin, her best human friend in canon turned into a vampire, who then killed all her other friends (except, oddly enough, for Mike), shot, and gets her truck vandalized repeatedly by Rebecca,
 * Butt Monkey: Bella, of so much. See Break the Cutie above.
 * Designated Hero: Rebecca. Definitely.
 * Groin Attack : Rebecca's use of an "anti-rape knife" might or might not have resulted in this.
 * Girl with Psycho Weapon: Rebecca and her "anti-rape knife". Also:
 * Axes At School
 * Knife Nut
 * Ax Crazy: Definitely on the line after the Moral Event Horizon below.
 * Hooker with a Heart of Gold: after she's forced into prostitution.
 * Informed Judaism: Rebecca. Possibly.
 * Made of Iron: Bella can be shot fourteen times in a row, survive it, and be out of the hospital in a matter of hours.
 * Moral Event Horizon: Rebecca crosses this when
 * Product Placement: Oddly enough, Pop Tarts.
 * Protagonist-Centered Morality / Double Standard: For instance, Rebecca follows a hot guy in the boys' locker room, accuses him of being a pervert for "flashing her" — while he had actually not even noticed her — and uses her anti-rape knife against him, then when a whole bunch of guys get out of the shower to see what the commotion is about, she accuses them of attempting to rape her.
 * Rape Is the New Dead Parents: Not actually used on Rebecca herself, but she does accuse others of trying to (see above) and carries an anti-rape knife. Bella is the one who is actually raped, and is treated poorly after this. Rebecca even implies her cousin "became a bitch" after her rape.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin:  YES.  As expected of a My Immortal copycat. Notably, "Biology Class" is almost always spelled with some sort of "lol" in the middle, leading to a Running Gag of the class being taught with LOLcats.
 * Ye Olde Butchered English: After a few chapters, Edward starts talking like this.