Canada



""Mon pays, ce n'est pas un pays; c'est l'hiver.""

- Gilles Vigneault

Canada is the second largest country in the world by area, and has a population of 35 million people. Compared to other countries it's population is pretty small, boasting a population density of only 3.5 people per square kilometre (the UK squeezes 255 people into the same space). Despite being few, historically the provinces and territories like to fight with one another, in more modern times resorting to snide jokes and CFL rivalries. The Western provinces (British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba) like to hate on Central Canada (Ontario and Quebec), the Maritime Provinces (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Prince Edward Island) have severe inferiority complexes and resent that they never get any of the good stuff, Newfoundland sort of still collectively wishes they hadn't joined Confederation, while the Francophones in Quebec look poorly upon the Anglophones in the rest of the country (the "ROC" as it's known). Meanwhile the Anglophones in Quebec just quietly try to subvert the language laws. Every province likes to bash Ontario, and all Canadians who don't live there like to talk about how much Toronto sucks. Why is it like this? Mainly because of the confusing origins and exacerbated regional differences. That said, Canada is still a unified country, and the rivalry that goes on is similar to that of any country.

Three of the most memorable moments to most Canadians in their history include: the War of 1812; the Battle of Vimy Ridge in World War One, using tactics by Canadian General Arthur William Currie to capture the ridge from the Germans; and finally, Game 8, 1972, Canada v. Soviet UnionHenderson SCORES!!!.

Insisting that Canada is still a Dominion of the United Kingdom or is in any way in some sort of union with the United States is bound to stir up some backdraft amongst Canadians, as will suggesting Quebec should be independent (outside of Quebec, minus certain parts of Montreal).

Culturally, Canadians are perceived as being modest, quiet, and a bit like a backwards rustic neighbour. Similarities to America are profound, but those similarities are heatedly protested by Canadians. If one is asked to think of "Canada", generally the idea of plaid-wearing lumberjacks in a snow-filled pine forest where moose and beavers frolic about and bears savagely roam is imagined. Somewhere, ice hockey is filled in. Maple syrup (as well as the maple leaf, which is on Canada's flag) is commonly associated with Canada, and--like Alaska--it's hard to imagine not covered in snow and freezing.


 * Canada Eh
 * Montreal, the second largest French speaking city in the world after Paris.
 * Toronto, the biggest city and the financial hub of Canada, but is not the national capital (that's Ottawa, also in Ontario but a bit to the north; Toronto is the provincial capital), and definitely not the centre of the universe no matter how much Torontonians may wish for it.
 * Vancouver, the financial centre for Western Canada, with a massive Pacific port. It is the city that is not Seattle no matter how much Hollywood wants to convince you otherwise.
 * Canadian History
 * Canadian Music
 * Canadian Politics
 * Canadian Series
 * CBC, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
 * Canucks With Chinooks
 * Cirque Du Soleil
 * The Common Law
 * Ice Hockey: The national winter sport
 * Niagara Falls
 * Only So Many Canadian Actors

Tropes regarding Canada

 * The British Empire / The Commonwealth: Canada is part of this.
 * Canadians Love Curling: Curling originated from Scotland, yet it's Canada that dominates curling in international competitions.
 * Good Bad Translation: According to legend, when Jaques Cartier asked the Huron-Iroquois people where he was, they replied that they were taking him to "kanata", meaning "the village". He interpreted it as "we are in the nation of Kanata". So he wrote "Canada" on all the maps.
 * Memetic Mutation: "Just watch me." ~ Pierre Trudeau
 * "The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation." ~ Also Pierre Trudeau
 * "You had an option, sir." ~ Brian Mulroney
 * "Conscription if necessary but not necessarily conscription." ~ William Lyon Mackenzie King
 * "They're going home!" ~ Bob Cole
 * "A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." ~ Jean Chretien
 * "He shoots, he scores!" ~ Foster Hewitt
 * National Stereotypes: Beer, bears, beavers, and lumberjacks are most the biggest Canadian stereotypes. Moose, modesty, maple syrup, and hockey cover the rest.