Percy Jackson & the Olympians/Funny

"Tyson: Left walls are mean."
 * When his  threatens him with a lot of pain in Book 1, Percy thinks they figured out he cheated on his Tom Sawyer book project and might take away the grade. Or make him actually read the book.
 * 's last threat:
 * In book 2, when Grover . 'Nuff said.
 * No, the cyclops got engaged to HIM. But because he was  Grover played along as a girl. Voice and all. But it's still funny.
 * Apollo after Thalia crashes his sun chariot. "Well! You were right, my dear. You had everything under control. Now, let's go see if we boiled anyone important, shall we?"
 * Some of Percy's inner monologue are just hilarious. For example, "If you've never been charged by an enthusiastic Cyclops wearing a flowered apron and rubber cleaning gloves, I'm telling you, it'll wake you up quick."
 * I know this probably wasn't supposed to be funny, but I was howling with laughter in the first book when Percy yelled at the Minotaur, "Hey! ...Hey, stupid! Ground beef!"
 * Poor, poor Zoe... "Lord Apollo has been going through this haiku phase ever since he went to Japan. 'Tis not as bad as the time he visited Limerick. If I'd had to hear one more poem that started with 'There once was a goddess from Sparta'..."
 * In Labyrinth, Annabeth happens to know the old trick of keeping to the left hand wall. She makes the mistake of saying so out loud, and the Labyrinth promptly changes to a circular room with eight identical doors.

"Annabeth: *stamps foot* What sort of help was that? 'Here, have a sandwich. Make a wish. Oops, I can't help you! Poof!'
 * Also happening with Annabeth in that same room, when she gets ticked off by Hera's 'help', and all the remaining food disappears before Tyson can finish.

Tyson: Poof..."

"Zoe: "Let us find the dam snack bar. We should eat while we can."
 * The scene at Hoover Dam in The Titan's Curse would fit here. Especially since 's lack of knowledge of modern English made her not even get the joke.

Grover: "The dam snack bar?"

Zoe: "Yes. What is funny?"

Grover: "Nothing. I could use some dam french fries."

Thalia: "And I need to use the dam restroom."

Grover: "I want to use the dam water fountain."

Thalia: "And... I want to buy a dam t-shirt.""

"Percy: Did I just hear a cow
 * Later, Bessie moos, and we get this:

Thalia: A dam cow?"

"When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment, as if the garment were stitched of trapped souls from the Field of Punishment. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to be woven into Hades's underwear?"
 * Basically whenever Percy says/thinks something. His monologue is probably the best. He even makes humorous observations during dark and heavy parts of the series.

"Annabeth cut the rope [bridge], and the Cyclops howled...with glee, because he was standing right next to us."
 * Almost every character in the series says something funny, even when they do not mean it. Even Kronos has his moments.
 * The table of contents in every book is guaranteed to give at least a few laughs ("A God Buys Us Cheeseburgers", anyone?)
 * The title chapters have added hilarity due to It Makes Sense in Context. "I Scoop Poop" and "Nico Buys Happy Meals For The Dead" from the fourth book come to mind.
 * "We Hail the Taxi of Eternal Torment"!
 * From "The Sea of Monsters":

"Percy: There were a lot of answers I might've given, from "I knew that" to "LIAR!" to "Yeah right, and I'm Zeus.""
 * In The Battle of the Labyrinth, when Percy discovered that . He couldn't decide what to say.

"Ares: I have been fighting for eternity! My strength is unlimited and I cannot die! What have you got, kid?
 * A minor scene in book five, when Percy tells Nico that he can help best by talking to Hades, because he's the only one who can influence his father. The next time we see Hades, he's walking very fast with his hands clamped over his ears.
 * Percy's occasional snarky moments.

Percy (to himself): A smaller ego, perhaps..."

"Grover: They're not going to like that. They'll think you're impertinent.
 * "Occasional?"
 * Percy deliberately ticking off the gods by mailing Medusa's head to Mount Olympus in The Lightning Thief. The "With Best Wishes, Percy Jackon" bit is what really sold this troper on the funny.

Percy: I am impertinent."


 * Percy "tearfully" rewarding the people of Los Angeles with free appliances from Smelly Gabe's store at the end of book one. He even provided the phone number.
 * Most of the times a God shows up for a one-off scene, especially when they are referencing well known heroic fantasy tropes in a casual manner as if they are entirely the way the world should work. Aphrodite in particular springs to mind as being ridiculously funny, but Hermes has his moments also.
 * At the end of the fifth book

"Poseidon: You're doing well with those new cabins by the way. I suppose this means I can claim all those other sons and daughters of mine and send you some siblings next summer.
 * The scene where Aphrodite tells Percy to Always Save the Girl in The Titan's Curse.
 * Sally's letter to Percy at the end of The Lightning Thief.
 * Mr. Blowfish, anyone?
 * The last conversation Percy has with his father:

Percy: Ha-ha. (beat)

Percy: Um, you were kidding, right?

He never did give Percy an answer. :)"

"Tyson: "PEANUT BUTTER!!!""
 * Dionysus has a rivalry with Blinky, the red ghost from Pacman. And he will have his soul, fictional character or not!
 * I think that Tyson's Battle Cry from book five was pretty sweet...

"Sally: "Percy. I give you my blessing."
 * In Book Five, Percy sees visions of his loved ones while bathing in the River Styx.

Tyson: "Be safe, brother!"

Grover: "Enchiladas!""

"Percy: "I wasn't sure where that came from, but it didn't seem to help much.""
 * This becomes even funnier when Percy lampshades it.

"Percy: This was so completely unfair that I told Tantalus to go chase a donut, which didn't help his mood."
 * The Party Ponies. They're basically a fraternity of hyper-active centaurs. "HAWAII OWNS YOUR FACES!", anyone?
 * ROOT BEER!!!!
 * How did Percy's rivalry with Tantalus in book 2 not get mentioned yet?


 * And don't forget his attempt at sculpting a bust of Poseidon somehow looking like Sylvester Stallone!
 * In Book 3: "Kronos could influence people with dreams and trick them, but I didn't see how he could physically overcome if he was still like a pile of evil bark mulch."
 * Demeter isn't just the queen of Obnoxious In-Laws... she's an obnoxious in-law to the lord of the dead. Did You Just Bitch And Moan To Cthulhu?
 * After Percy and the gang battle a bunch of giant cyclopses: "Can someone tell me what those were?" "Lavlarligians." "In English?" "Canadians."
 * "Can I kill him just a little bit?"