Total Drama Island/Quotes

Monster Cash!

 * Owen: Izzy, duck! Duck!
 * Izzy: Goose! Weee! Do it again.


 * Duncan: How did you manage to escape?
 * Izzy: The monster and I had a romantic date. He doesn't take "no" for an answer. Pretty crazy, I can't even tell you guys.


 * Owen: (Confession Booth) My mom says I eat when I'm upset...and happy and tired...not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semi-conscious, avuncular..(An AWESOME moustache appears on his face and he laughs)..avuncular.
 * Duncan: Uh.. I don't think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind.


 * Owen: Nope. Call 911.

Alien Resurr-eggtion

 * Izzy: If I can handle hand to paw combat with a polar bear, I can handle a bald emotionally withdrawn cook in a Halloween costume.
 * Chef Hatchet: Who are you calling a cook!?


 * Chef Hatchet: I thought you were dead.
 * Izzy: Yeah. I get that a lot.

Beach Blanket Bogus

 * Lindsay: Yay! Go Justin!
 * Beth: Yeah, go!
 * Lindsay: Copycat!
 * Beth: Tanorexic! (gasps) Sorry. Friendship bracelet?

The Chefshank Redemption

 * (Owen's attempting to reach the trailer's air duct)
 * Harold: Owen you'll never fit.
 * Owen: I can try my best.
 * Harold: It's not about trying, it's just a scientific fact.

The Sand Witch Project

 * Duncan: Once, I gave a dozen five-year-olds seizures.


 * Duncan: And papa Duncan wants to win and go to bed! so....

Full Metal Drama

 * Justin: Me, not cute? Oh, I'll tell you who's not cute. Blind crazy people named Izzy!


 * Duncan: I've always wanted to be a Marine, they're rough, tough, they wear rad boots, and they say HOO-AH! No clue what that means but it sounds so cool. HOO-AH!


 * Explosivo: 3... 2... 1... BOOM-BOOM! (Explosivo presses the plunger, and nothing occurs.)
 * Chris: Well, folks, it looks like we're experiencing technical diff- (A HUGE explosion occurs.)

TDA Aftermath: For-Gwen and Forget

 * Gordon: Ahoy, mates.
 * Geoff: Ello, ol' chap.
 * Gordon: I'm from London, Ontario, and I wanna be a chef! I'm making DJ sandwiches! But there's some stupid (censored) ingredient I can't (censored) figure out! (censored)!

Ocean's Eight - Or Nine

 * Duncan: (Confession Booth) The H-bombs, Harold and Heather, were so busy finding out who's the biggest dweeb that they totally forgot I'm an experienced criminal! Frankly, that's a little insulting.

One Million Bucks B.C.

 * Heather:: (in confessional make-up room) I got some! Courtney's hair, soon it will be mine, all mine! (starts laughing like a maniac) What? I'm not crazy, I'm just bald!


 * Courtney:(in confessional make-up room) Sure, Duncan has this primal animal magnetism, but he also wants to make me hit him where it hurts. (yelling) (hits Duncan with bone in the crotch)


 * Duncan:: (in confessional make-up room) EEEE! Why do they always go for the kiwi's? WHY?!!!!
 * Duncan:: (Groans loudly) (falls into tar pit)


 * Heather: (Confessional. on the reward) I've got something better...Courtney's hair! (An intern tries to take the hair) No, you can't have it! It's mine! Okay, it was Courtney's, but I took it, which makes it mine!

Million Dollar Babies

 * Harold: Ooh! Ooh! I got it! Let's cheer for Norbert Swindlow!
 * Heather: Who?
 * Harold: The inventor of the pom-pom? Duh.
 * Heather: I say we cheer for me.
 * Leshawna: You?
 * Duncan: I'd rather cheer for my school principal, my mother, Leshawna.

(Duncan finds baby items underneath the ball pit.)
 * Duncan: What is this under, a daycare center? (he pulls out a little kid.)
 * Little Kid: Mama?


 * Justin: We gotta push spiced up chef like he's a football dummy?
 * Chef: DON'T CALL ME A DUMMY.
 * Heather: I'm not doing this.
 * LeShawna: Oh, your doing it! NOW GET IN THERE AND PUSH THAT DUMMY!
 * Chef: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE 'DUMMY' THING?!


 * Leshawna: (As her team's cheer) Courtney, Courtney, she's my pal, she loves her PDA, she's an organized gal! Lindsay and Justin might be dumb, but I'd be so proud if they called me their chum! Heather, Heather, queen of mean, she's got a nice scalp for a groovin' teen! Duncan and Beth, they're quite a pair, he's tough, she's goofy, but they both got flair! And Harold's the best, he's quite a guy, he's goofy and scrawny but he's got my eye!

Dial M for Merger

 * Courtney: (in confessional) And that's the only million LeShawna would ever see. My lawyers are working on it right now.

Super Hero-ld

 * Harold: There is no way I am voting off LeShawna. We're supposed to have an alliance with her. Duncan, we should vote you off for treason.
 * Duncan: Pals before gals, Harold? We're outnumbered, and if you don't do anything I say, I'll tell LeShawna that you pick your nose in your sleep.
 * Harold: You do have curcumstantial evidence at best.


 * Duncan: Harold is about to experience a painful life lesson.

[Duncan punches Harold]
 * Harold: Ow!
 * Chris: Even I saw that one coming. Two points.

The Princess Pride

 * Justin: Courtney? Beth? Lindsay?
 * Lindsay: Princess Beth is so cute.
 * Justin: Is no one even going to miss me?
 * Duncan: Chao.
 * Harold: See you in the funny papers. Farewell.  Auf Wiedersein.  Don't let the door hit you in the...
 * Justin: Okay, stop! I'm going, but you'll regret it. With me gone, things have started to become 80% less handsome. (bumps head) Ow! Alright, 79!


 * Courtney: (Blowing kisses to male competitors before they go on challenge) Sir Harold, mwah! Sir Justin, mwah! Duncan, mwah.

Get a Clue

 * Courtney: What's my prize!?
 * Chris: [British Accent] I don't recall having mentioned any sort of prize... [Normal Voice] but thanks for releasing me it was getting stuffy in here.
 * Courtney: Your not smoking!?
 * Chris: What! Oh no! Of course not! (swallows his pipe)
 * Courtney: Ew.
 * Chris: What? It's chewing tobacco!
 * Harold, Lindsay, and Beth: Ew!
 * Chris: Nah! Just kidding, it's black licorice.
 * Courtney, Duncan, Harold, Lindsay, and Beth: Ew!!
 * Chris: Yeah you're right; this stuff's disgusting.
 * Courtney: I am going to get a prize I promise you that.

Rock 'N Rule

 * Owen: (he sees Lindsay jumping on the bed in the final challenge.) Oooh, that looks like fun! (Owen then cannonballs onto the bed, nearly crushing Lindsay in the process.)
 * Lindsay: (She is in the confessional, after Owen lands on her trying to jump on the bed. She is fine, but disheveled.) THAT WAS SO TERRIFYING! I saw my life flash before my eyes! It looked a lot like Owen's butt.

Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen

 * Owen: (after challenge, trying soup made of 7 deadliest fish being served.) Ooh, tastes like... poisonous... (his throat swells up.) BLOWFISH. (faints)

2008: A Space Owen

 * Duncan: This will teach you to mess with my Scruffy.
 * Harold: Bye bye, traitor.
 * Owen: Harold's on to me, I know it.
 * Beth: The girl alliance is over!
 * Courtney: Back off! Can't you see this is called secret voting?


 * Harold: I, too, love a catfight, but only between actual cats wearing tiny boxing gloves.

Top Dog

 * Duncan: Chill, Owen, I spent the night in Courtney's trailer.
 * Owen: Dude, Courtney gave you...HOMEWORK.


 * Owen: Uh, Chris? I think you forgot to give me my Gilded Chris Award.
 * Chris: Sorry Owen, you've been fired.
 * Owen: What? Whhhyyy?
 * Chris: What's the point of having a spy when you've already been spied?

Mutiny on the Soundstage

 * Chef Hatchet: What color is Courtney thinking of right now?
 * Duncan: Right now! Are you serious? Ohhhh. I don't know, blue?
 * Courtney: (in separate room outside set) Burnt sienna! Ugh, he doesn't even know everything about me.

TDA Aftermath: Who Wants to Pick a Millionaire?

 * Courtney: Yes, we're rich!
 * Duncan: Whoh wait a minute sister. Who said I would share anything with you?
 * Courtney: (kisses Duncan) Every King needs a queen!
 * Duncan: King, huh? That doesn't sound so bad.