Mister Seahorse/Quotes

"Doc: How do I say this, your friend is...

Church: Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time.

Doc: No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant.

Caboose: Oh, good... Wait, what?

O'Malley: Hmhmhmhmhm, preggers, muahaha!

Church: All right, are we paying for this service? Because, if we are, I want a refund. And if we're not, I want a refund anyway."

- Red vs. Blue, Episode 76

"Dave: I mean, Helen's something special. I've fallen for women before, but never like this. I look at her, and I see myself spending my life with her... I see us growing old together... I see myself bearing her children...

Artie: Er, don't you mean you see her bearing your--

Dave: No, I'm trying to be realistic about this."

- Narbonic

"Greg: When I got home that night,

Colin: My ovaries did swell,

Ryan: I puffed up like Jiffy-Pop

Wayne: ...I'm a dude! What the hell!"

- Whose Line Is It Anyway?, the "Got Pregnant on a Date" Irish Drinking Song

""I was watching Animal Planet, did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, 'Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?' You know it's just some stubborn scientist:

'Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse.'

'Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby.'

'...the male has the baby. You're fired.'""

- Jim Gaffigan

""Well, there's good news -- you've had a baby; the bad news is, " "

- Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week.

"Frylock: Meatwad, you cannot possibly be pregnant!

Meatwad: Why not?

Frylock: Because you're a... you're... you're a... ...damn it, you're a male!

Meatwad: Really? Awesome! I always wanted a gender!"

- "Gee Whiz", Aqua Teen Hunger Force

"Stan: I want to have babies.

Reg: You want to have babies?!?!

Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!

Stan: Don't you oppress me!

Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?"

- Monty Pythons Life of Brian

"M-Preg: Since there exists no fanfic genre of ‘M-PMT’ or ‘M-bloody awful period pain’, this is one outlet to make your characters get all the suffering of being female with none of the benefits. Bwahahaahahaa!"

- Bag Enders, The Horrifically Honest Guide to Fanfiction Terms

""I am Kirk and Spock's illegitimate butt baby. ... Kock.""

- Andy Dick

"Neil: But that's impossible!

Vyvyan: Yeah, that's what she said! You just can't trust women, can you?"

- The Young Ones