Sturmtruppen/Characters

Ze main cast from Sturmtruppen.

Private Otto/Franz/Fritz/Heinz
The anonymous, interchangeable soldiers of the battalion and usually main victims of the officers, the unseen enemy and sometimes of their own troops. Sometimes a meaningful nickname is add to the name, usually to Heinz.


 * Bayonet Ya: The infamous "Air-Headed" Franz, major cause of pierced eyes and ripped ears in the Battalion.
 * Big Eater: "Glutton" Franz, known for raiding the kitchen during night time.
 * When the lunch became alive and went on a rampage, "Glutton" Franz was the one who defeated it, by eating a cauldron worth of lunch that had previously eaten a cross and at least another soldier with all the uniform, had been pissed on (they had no holy water) and was armed with a makeshift flamethrower.
 * Butt Monkey: All of them, some more than others.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: Usually Private Heinz. Or rather, a Private Heinz.
 * Deadpan Snarker: They often get a chance to snark at people.
 * Demonic Possession: "Possessed Fritz", after his unlucky sojourn in the dreaded post 666.
 * Distracted by the Sexy: In a strip, a fierce charge is suddenly stopped when the soldiers come across a naked woman in a ruined house.
 * Dumb Muscle: "Gorilla" Franz, who's probably the only different-looking soldier.
 * The Ingenue: Poor Private Otto, who tries to win the love of the local prostitute with flowers and chocolates.
 * The Jinx Up to Eleven: The dreaded Jonah Franz, from the former-Fourth Battalion. Shown to be able to cause small quakes and disasters just by thinking of a person.
 * The Messiah: Parodied wirh "Messiah" Heinz, who does miracles and also appoint Galeazzo Musolesi as his own Pope.
 * Mooks
 * You All Look Familiar: They look identical, except for the possible helmet variations.

The Sergeant
Old and sadistic officer of the Battalion, whose main purpose is to make the life of the other soldiers (and especially the newbies) unbearable, and is universally hated by the soldiers. He's a long lasting feud with the Military Cook and his dreadful food. However he's also the victim and target of the two veterans of the 27th Battalion. According to a strip, his name is Giuseppe.

"Private Franz:"I belief he's about to hafe an orgasm!""
 * 0% Approval Rating: All the soldiers in the battalion wants to fry him alive, but they're divided between using boiling oil or kerosene.
 * Big Eater/Extreme Omnivore: He's known for eating a lot, and once mistook a poisonous rattlesnake in his soup for an eel, and promplty ate it.
 * The Brute
 * Drill Sergeant Nasty: Especially with the newbies. He'll make true men out of them, or make them die trying!.
 * Fat Bastard: And his huge weight problems briefly become a trouble in a story arc.
 * Gag Boobs: Male example: While trying to solve the above mentioned weight problems he was put in a tiny corset which squeezed all the fat upwards, resulting in a huge, bouncing bosom which soon become the main source of humor in the following strips. According to Bonvi, it was an homage to a female friend of his.
 * Immodest Orgasm: When the new recruits are coming, ready for being tortured, he's shown trembling, growling, foaming and waving fingers. At the same time.


 * The Pig Pen: He doesn't know why there's water in the bath tub and what's the purpose of soap. His attendants are forced to use sandpaper and acids just to carve throught the outer layers and when they're done with that, Is revealed that he lose something like 6 pounds of dirt.
 * Stout Strength
 * The Starscream: An early strip wants to become General eventually.
 * Volleying Insults: With the Cook.

The 27th Armoured Battalion (of Discipline)
The thoughest and hardest soldiers of all the Battalion, they're the only guys who can force the Sergeant to crawl around and squirm in fear. Is implied that the only person they ever respected was the Drunken Captain.


 * Badass: Just to give you an idea, they're used to defuse aircraft bombs with bottle-openers.
 * Perma-Stubble: Unlike other soldiers.
 * Smoking Is Cool
 * Those Two Bad Guys

The Second Lieutenant
A clumsy and ditzy officer who achieved his rank thanks to nepotism. The Lieutenant is young and inept, and usually volunteers for dangerous or difficult tasks which will eventually end up as an Epic Fail.


 * Butt Monkey: Noone ever respects him.
 * Boisterous Bruiser: He tries to be one without much success. For example, during a strip when they're preparing an assault on a bunker he seems willing and ready to assault said bunker with a pick.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: His idea for a better rifle? Same rifle as before, now cannon-sized.
 * The Ditz: Uh yeah...
 * Eek! A Mouse!: "Don't you know zey can climb up your leg!?"
 * General Failure: Ok, Second Lieutenant Failure, but still...
 * The Ingenue: He seems to have no clue on sex. When Helga shows him an erotic comic he mistakes the people having sex for some kind of wrestlers and a woman performing oral sex for cannibalism.
 * Man On Fire: During the above mentioned bunker miniarc, he tries to destroy the enemy bunker with a fire bomb package, but they end up backfiring...
 * Small Name, Big Ego: He's not what he claims to be.

The Military Cook
The infamous cook of the battalion, known for his horrible food. He's often bickering and exchanging pranks with the Sergeant.


 * Brutal Honesty: Even he admit that he would never eat his own food.
 * Once he was asked what there was in the lunch, and he declared it was infected with cholera. One soldier believed he was joking and ate it. It was not a joke.
 * I Am a Humanitarian: Choose the fattest soldier as his disciple and ends up cooking him for the Officer's Meal.
 * It wasn't for the Officer's Meal, it was a special lunch for the soldiers celebrating his 25th year in the army. And when the disciple caught on it (while already in the cauldron) and ran away, the soldiers were disgusted by the cook... Until they were told that the disciple was the ONLY lunch available for the day. Then they started searching for him.
 * Lethal Chef: From his deadly cauldron came out things like: dried pea soup (there's no water), frozen solid soup (during winter), soup made from motor oil and boiled tires, salad made from tree leaves, dirty laundry water (which was actually well received), corpses, living ferocious spaghetti, cholera, a concoction that turns soldiers into hairy monsters and a blob-like abomination that fed on soldiers.
 * At least once, the motor oil had been added by the Sergeant as part of his feud with the cook. The soldiers didn't see the difference until the Sergeant, who was saying the lunch looked like being made of motor oil, was asked the oil can back.
 * Nice Hat

The Military Medic
A Major and medic who studied as a veterinarian, but since animals refused to be treated by him he was assigned to the closest human category: soldiers. The Medic is a quack doctor and a charlatan, often obsessed with things like vampires and the potion of invisibility.


 * Afraid of Blood: That's why he has to wear a blindfold while operating.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: When he becomes obsessed with an speculated Vampire infestation, or when he becomes obsessed again with the invisibility elixir or when he mistakes a mud covered soldier who was Buried Alive for a zombie.
 * Invisibility: His greatest and most memorable quirk, which ends up with him going around naked for the camp, and since he had the highest rank, he had the right to believe himself invisible as he wished.
 * Large Ham: When revealing the identity of his greatest medical idol. Aka: Van Helsing the Vampire Slayer. (complete with background lightning).
 * Mad Scientist: He believes to have discovered the Invisibility Elixir without going mad. He actually went mad without discovering the Invisibility Elixir.
 * Naked People Are Funny: When he believes himself to be invisible. It backfires once when a soldier, pretending to not see him performs a Groin Attack with a cigarette.
 * Nice Hat: Which he always keeps on.
 * Small Name, Big Ego: His greatest success was curing the hiccup of the Colonel.

The Captain
The grumpy and mostly serious captain of the Battalion (though it's implied that there are several captains), arguably he's the sanest character in the comic. Like all the higher officer he's tall and lean with hawkish nose and eyes obscured by the cap's visor.


 * General Ripper: In his early incarnations.
 * Lean and Mean
 * Only Sane Man
 * Picky Eater: He's willing to eat the same lunch as the soldiers. Provided that said lunch include a series of snobbish and high-class delicacies.
 * Reasonable Authority Figure: Not that there's much choice, mind you...

The Colonel
A even higher ranked officer, identical to the Captain except for the different coat and uniform. Unlike the Captain, Colonel/s are much like one shot characters that appears rarely and usually from outside.


 * Badass Longcoat
 * General Ripper
 * Hiccup Hijinks: A Colonel introduced in a strip was known for speaking mainly in very short sentences and only said "Hic". It was quickly revealed that he actually suffered from hiccup.
 * Only Sane Man: Shared with the Captain.

The General
The highest ranked officer in the army, as the Colonel above he's usually shown as an outsider. So far, two main "generals" are shown: One looks like the typical officer and tries to assist to the "Extermination" of the Jewish prisoner, the other is an old and senile veteran who visits the troops a couple of times.

"Captain: "Ehm, General, ze troops are here..." General: "Ja, ja, magnificent boobs ehm, troops, really magnificent...""
 * Clothes Make the Superman: Shown when the old general is recovered in the hospital: as soon as his uniform is removed everyone treats him like a worthless senile geezer and ignore him. However he gains all his prestige and power back as soon as he put the uniform back.
 * Dirty Old Man: The old general is revealed to be one when he becomes enamored with the Sergeant's Gag Boobs (see above), to the point that he force him to run in front of him, grope him and eventually take him home when he finally leaves.
 * Distracted by the Sexy: Courtesy of the Sergeant's boobs, complete with a streak of puns.


 * Dropped a Bridge on Him: The Extermination General decides to hide behind the extermination wall in order to avoid straying bullets. Said walls drops on him after being shot.
 * Humiliation Conga: The Old General when he gets recovered and lose his uniform.

The Drunken Captain
An old and badass officer always seen with some liquor on his person, he makes a brief appearence in a strip and eventually dies some times later. The Drunken Captain can be seen as an Authot Avatar of Bonvi.


 * The Alcoholic: So much that when he's mortally wounded his blood emits alcoholic fumes that cover the whole camp.
 * Badass: It was the only person really respected by the men of the 27th Battalion.
 * Badass Boast: "I'll crush you all like wasps!!" said to the enemy's shower of bullets all around him while standing still on the trench's border and facing them.
 * Killed Off for Real: Sadly he was Too Cool to Live.
 * Molotov Cocktail: He uses one to take down an enemy tank.
 * Noodle Incident: According to the guys of the 27th Battalion, he was their Colonel but he lose his rank because "he was a bit naughty".

Sergeant Olga, Caporal Helga and Private Tilda
The only female soldiers and officer introduced in the comic and the camp. Olga is a large, squat woman who falls for the Sergeant, Helga falls for the Lieutenant and Tilda (the most attractive of the trio) for a poetic soldier, but none of them has much success.


 * Alliterative Name
 * Baby Got Legs: Tilda, unlike the other two soldiers, has very long, well detailed legs.
 * Ms. Fanservice: Tilda, so much that all the soldiers of the battalion faint the istant they see her.
 * The Smurfette Principle

Private Humbert
A caveman-like soldier who was left alone and forgotten for 5 years in the outpost number 8. He's a weird and disgusting man apparently made of hair who also possess a great strength.


 * Ambiguously Human: It's implied that he's actually made of hair, and during springtime he buds leaves.
 * Ambiguously Gay: At one point he falls in love with another soldier.
 * Extreme Omnivore: He's the only ... thing who can devour the food made by the Cook. He's also known for eating flies and lice.
 * Made of Iron: He survived a fiendish radioactive cloud, which only managed to give him a perm.
 * The Pig Pen: Even worse than the Sergeant.
 * Stout Strength: He's quite bulky, but he's very strong.
 * Suddenly Voiced: In some strips he can speak fluently and even reveal that he went to university.

Proud Ally Galeazzo Musolesi of San Giovanni in Persiceto
The buffonish and proud fascist soldier who joined the troops on the front lines. He's a cowardly and dishonest man who's always trying to making a profit from the military life and trying to seek glory with easy, totally safe missions. His name is a clear parody of both Mussolini's and Galeazzo Ciano's names, and comes from a prank letter wrote by Bonvi.


 * Big Eater: He's a veritable glutton.
 * Fainting: Whenever he's in danger or risking some real action.
 * Honest John's Dealership: He's always trying to make money from something from every, possible, mean.
 * Lovable Coward: Claims to be a proud and brave veteran, but he's capable of digging a several meters deep holes at the first bullet.
 * Miles Gloriosus
 * Overly Long Name
 * Picky Eater: Volunteers himself as a pilot in order to get a special diet based mainly of birds of various kinds.
 * Small Name, Big Ego: Big time.
 * Take That/Affectionate Parody: Of fascist soldiers.

The Ally of the Rising Sun
A japanese soldier who joined the Battalion. He's costantly arguing with Musolesi. He's based on various japanese stereotypes, like the mania for self-sacrifice and photoes.


 * Camera Fiend: At first.
 * Driven to Suicide: Musolesi tries to persuade him to commit Seppuku. After a talk with the Captain, he realize that he doesn't need to spill his own blood to clean the offense.... and then start chasing Musolesi waving his sword around.
 * Inscrutable Oriental: Parodied.
 * Lovable Sex Maniac: He tries to hump the crossdressing soldier Otto even after he revealed his true sex.
 * No Name Given
 * Volleying Insults: With the italian ally.

The SS Execution Squad
An execution squad, complete with Captain and a stoic jewish prisoner who should be exterminated. Not that they have much success.

"Captain: "What do you mean with General Retreat!?""
 * Black Comedy
 * Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: The soldiers are unable to hit the prisoners, even if they're pressing the guns right at his stomach.
 * Kick the Dog: When the Squad finally manages to find a perfect wall and everything seems allright...


 * Pet the Dog: Eventually the Jew becomes affectionate to the captain, to the point that he even keep him company when he's recovered and help him getting his sanity back. The opposite happens when the prisoner fall ill and is recovered, and the Captain look after him.
 * The Stoic: The jewish prisoner. He doesn't seem too fazed at the idea of being killed.
 * Villainous Breakdown: Literally, as the poor captain eventually has a nervous breakdown and is recovered.