Pygmy



""Quote fascist tyrant, lunatic emperor Adolf Hitler, 'He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.'"''"

Begins here article of Pygmy written transgressional fiction novelist, self-labeled romantic writer Chuck Palahniuk. For official record, novel publishing dated year 2009. Contain series of accounts agent number 67, operative Pygmy, young terrorist operative embedded among corrupt middle-class American family. Top priority mission Operation Havoc to destroy decadent American citizenry on behalf freedom native glorious workers' paradise homeland.


 * Anachronic Order
 * Arc Words
 * Recite elements periodic table, Niobium… nitrogen… nobelium… osmium…
 * Frequent quote profound genius, gentle politic father, or appealing leader, of example, Adolf Hitler, Karl Marx, Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, Leon Trotsky, Mao Zedong
 * Axes At School
 * Brother-Sister Incest/Not Blood Siblings: Operative Pygmy desire reproductive facilities with cat sister.
 * Calling Your Attacks
 * Striking Cobra Quick Kill maneuver: Collapse target windpipe. Render instant quick dead.
 * Flying Eagle maneuver: Simple two pointed elbows to target's chest, one-two, kam-pow and three days target vomiting both lungs inside out with massive blood, dead. Fast as easy, young child able do.
 * Flying Giant Stork Death Kick: Feet hitting target, pow-pow, collapse inside of target zygomatic arch, driving bone back direct to spear brain, jab-boom, render instant dead.
 * Clear Their Name
 * Commie Nazis: Glorious home country, ideological heroes, include of example, Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Leon Trotsky, Evita Peron.
 * Cyanide Pill: All agent back molar encasing hollow filled deadly cyanide.
 * Eagle Land: America is demon spawn full empire of capitalistic evil of Type 2.
 * Epistolary Novel
 * : By novel conclusion, operative Pygmy
 * Also implied.
 * High School Dance
 * Historical Hero Upgrade: In glorious homeland of operative Pygmy many famous politic leader such as Benito Mussolini, Mao Tse-Tung, etc. viewed as tyrant criminal by wicked United State society. Use as recurrent humor.
 * Innocent Inaccurate: Native homeland indoctrination cause operative Narrator not understand American culture. Source much humor in operative narrative.
 * For official example, ritual label as "dodge of balls".
 * Intentional Engrish for Funny: Could be operative narrative present as intercepted dispatches translated into poor English. Such misfortune.
 * It's Personal:
 * Instant Fanclub: Operative Pygmy stop slaughter vengeance at educational facility by . Become hero of media and native teenagers. Females desire to take seed of operative.
 * Law of Inverse Fertility: Part of mission namely create new operatives with moronic brainwashed victims of American education system. Operatives however not taught about "contraceptives" example condoms and morning after pills, hindering plan.
 * Model United Nations
 * New Transfer Student: All operatives.
 * Pedophile Priest: Worship leader Reverend Tony.
 * Rape and Switch: Turgid weapon of Operative Pygmy perform violent anal sodomy on clear-yellow hair bully, Trevor bitch anus.
 * Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Zoom-grab, wham-pow, swish-bang, squirt-squirt.
 * Science Fair
 * Self-Demonstrating Article
 * Spurned Into Suicide:
 * Squick
 * Teen Superspy
 * Thanatos Gambit
 * Took a Level In Badass:
 * Weapons Kitchen Sink: Glorious home country possess advance military tool from source many countries.
 * Wild Teen Party
 * X Meets Y: Chronicles of this agent have been described as of a meetings of The Invader Zim and The Grand Theft of Autos.