Office Politics

Office Politics by rageprufrock is a Death Note Raito/L Fanfic which examines the repercussions of starting a sex-based work relationship with one's nemesis. L reasons that maybe this wasn't such a good idea and tries to dump Raito. Predictable and hilarious things happen next...

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Office Politics provides examples of:
"Granted, Raito is a terrifying, jealous, power-hungry, arrogant sociopath Serial Killer, but these are all things that L knew the first time he and Raito played six hours of mind games that led to strip poker and somehow anal sex. It was really rather unfair of him to simply abandon the game mid-session; it wasn't as if he wasn't allowed to change the rules. Perhaps, he'd been hasty."
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Raito's revenge for L breaking up with him involves threatening his coworkers, killing more people, and
 * Belligerent Sexual Tension: Raito and L
 * Black Comedy
 * Brains and Bondage: "L still has fond memories of surfing S&M websites with Raito; bathed in the glow of the computer, it was almost romantic."
 * Crazy Jealous Guy: Raito
 * Dating Catwoman: Raito and L.

"''Raito stormed off, and four hours after that, all the detectives gather around the television, torn between laughter and louder laughter when a gang known for kidnapping, gang-raping, and trafficking young girls and boys into prostitution all die of what appears to be autoerotic asphyxiation--bodies falling conveniently in a public square.
 * Disproportionate Retribution: Predictable things happen after L dumps Raito.
 * Everyone Can See It: ...and runs for cover.
 * Freudian Excuse: "Did you hug your son enough as a kid?"
 * Insult Backfire: When Kira sends L a message via dead rapists:

The chief squints. "Does that--?"

L narrows his eyes and drinks more coffee.

"Yeah," one of the others says.

"It totally does," another detective chimes in.

"L SUCKS DICK," the Chief reads.

Just under his breath, L mutters, "Not anymore, that's for damn sure."''"

"''L has used his extensive knowledge of cryptology to code in things like "Perhaps we should reconsider our relationship and consider reapplying generous amounts of sex in the butt." (Though it frustrated him greatly, even L's awesome mind could not properly work the semantics of forensic pathology and the word "fucking" together.)
 * Spy Speak: L and Raito use it to talk about their relationship.

Raito raises one fine, fine brow at L when L says this, and replies, "On the other hand, perhaps the coroner wasn't thorough enough in his external examination--needle-punctures can be wildly difficult to locate and I have not yet abandoned the idea that some of these deaths could have been caused by the application of excessive insulin. Local law enforcement has, after all, been writing them off too easily on Kira."

After Raito has left the room, L says, "That was completely uncalled for."''"


 * The Masochism Tango: L and Raito.
 * No Accounting for Taste
 * Noodle Incident: How L and Raito ended up together.
 * Not Good With Rejection: Raito, well no one has really rejected him before...
 * Operation: Jealousy: Poor, poor Matsuda.
 * Parental Obliviousness: Zigzagged. Though it never really comes up in conversation "L supposes... Chief Yagami is smart enough to know that his son was not always found nude in the company of L because they were planning on being completely heterosexual with one another."
 * Parents Walk in At The Worst Time: see above.
 * Second Act Breakup:
 * Slash Fic
 * Spell My Name With an "S": "Light" is referred to as "Raito."
 * Villainous Crush: Raito towards L.
 * Yandere: again, Raito towards L.