I'm Standing Right Here

"Bender: Ah, the point is it's Morgan's fault. That pencil-pushing scazwag. Why, if she were here, I'd... uh-oh. Is she behind me? Morgan: No. I'm in front of you."

- Futurama, "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back"

Alice and Bob are having a private discussion about their friend Carol. Or, at least, it would be private if Carol weren't standing right there, in plain view, and making no attempt to hide her presence.

Can play out near-identically to Right Behind Me, with the key difference being that Alice and Bob are fully aware of Carol's presence the entire time (or, if they're not, then they really should be). They're merely speaking of her as if she wasn't present. Might also result in a Right in Front of Me moment, depending on the status of the person being ignored. Either way, it's clear that the people making the remarks either Failed a Spot Check or just don't care that the target of their conversation is right there with them.

If this happens to The Hero, they may be wondering Dude, Where's My Respect? Compare You Know I'm Black, Right? Contrast Right in Front of Me, in which Alice and/or Bob don't know that the other person in the room is Carol.

If Alice and Bob know that Carol is here but don't figure out she is concerned by their commentary, this is an Oblivious Mockery.

Anime & Manga
"L: Oh, Matsuda's acting stupid again. Light: Well that's his specialty. Matsuda: I can hear you, ya'know."
 * Minami-ke's Touma gets this a lot from her older brothers. The three brothers will regularly hold family meetings between them regarding Touma's behavior, or what to do about a birthday gift or Christmas present, all while Touma is sitting not five feet away from them seemingly ignoring them.
 * Death Note:

"Patrick: Hey you! I heard that! (comes out of the cockpit) What did you just say? Huh?! Come on! Graham: (amused) At least it has a good sound system."
 * Unlike most examples, Matsuda is actually in another room, watching via surveillance (but he had contacted them moments ago), so it's somewhat natural that they'd forget about him for a moment. Also, this is arguably the kind of thing L would do deliberately.
 * In episode 4 of Pani Poni Dash!!, the girls discuss ways you could slip cheat sheets into a test, while the teacher giving that test is right there in the room constantly reminding them of her presence.
 * In the very first episode of Mobile Suit Gundam 00, Graham and Billy are observing the Enact mobile suit's first public demonstration. When Billy makes an offhand comment that the Enact is just a cheap knockoff of the Flag with a different exterior design, the pilot loudly objects.


 * In Daily Lives of High School Boys there's a scene in which Mitsuo walks into a room in which his friends are telling embarrassing stories about him. They notice his arrival, pause for a second, and then continue laughing at him as if he isn't there.

Comics
"Carol Ferris: Um...Hal's right here. Hal Jordan: He knows that, Carol."
 * In Green Lantern #48, Sinestro offers an allegiance to Atrocitus to destroy the Green Lanterns...while he and the leaders of all the other Corps are supposed to be banding together to fight the Black Lanterns...and Hal Jordan is within ear shot:


 * One Retail strip showed Marla, Cooper, and Val discussing their plan to get an annoying co-worker fired...right in front of him.

Fan Fiction
"Byakuya: *talking to Rukia* It is for the honor of the Kuchiki household, Rukia. Make sure the boy is aware of the large dowry that you have. Common people can be easily swayed by monetary gain. Ichigo: I'm less then five feet away from you. Byakuya: *turns to Ichigo with an indifferent look on his face* Very good. I see that you are able to judge distance."
 * Happens to Crowley in the Good Omens Fanfic Manchester Lost. The only demon in a crowd of angels (Aziraphale's "family"), they know he's there and (after deciding not to smite him immediately) instead take to talking about him, his boyfriend, who he was and why he Fell, and giving him an overall headache. A bit of a subversion though because eventually they DO try to drag him into the conversation: "You know, the reason I'm sitting in the dark is so you don't talk to me."
 * Happens in the Bleach fanfiction ''The Hell Butterfly Effect', where during Ichigo's meeting with the 13 Squads, Byakuya is telling Rukia to marry Ichigo. What follows may be the most awesome duologue example of this trope:

"Light (to L): I think your successor thinks we have the combined I.Q. of Matsuda. Matsuda: You guys know I'm right here."
 * From the Death Note fic All You Need Is Love:


 * In the Death Note fic Ragnarok (fanfic) Light and L begin speaking of Mello like he's a highly contagious disease while he's in the room with them.

Film
"Max: Don't talk to me like I'm not right here! Max's mother: What's he saying? Vincent: He says he's right here, in the room. Max's mother: Why yes, you are!"
 * There's a scene in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace where Obi-Wan is trying to dissuade Qui-Gon from training the young Anakin Skywalker, repeating the Jedi Council's premonition that "the boy is dangerous". It's a shame that they're walking right past Anakin as he's arguing this.
 * In the film Catch-22, the doctor has a habit of putting his name on a certain pilots flight roster but not actually going along, so he can continue to get flight pay without the danger. It backfires horribly when the plane crashes and it's immediately noticed the Doctor was a passenger, as per the flight roster. The Doctor, standing right there watching the plane crash, protests and points out he's standing right in front of them, but the other characters immediately begin ignoring him and lamenting his death.
 * In The Hammer, Robert bitches out his coach for offering main character Jerry (an overweight, 40-year-old white guy who's in the room) a chance to compete for a shot on the U.S. Olympic boxing team. Jerry tries to point out "You know, I'm right here. I heard everything you just said."
 * This happens in Collateral when Vincent, the hitman antagonist, forces the lead character Max to go visit his mother in the hospital like he does every night just to keep up appearances and not appear suspicious when he's being held hostage for the night.


 * In the short film Blinky, the protagonist's mother threatens to, while the robot is suffering from a Logic Bomb-generating Heroic BSOD.  , well, some interesting food was served.

Literature

 * Harry Potter's Aunt Marge, regarding Harry's mother and Harry himself, at the dinner table: "If there's something wrong with the bitch, there's something wrong with the pup." It's mentioned in the second chapter of the first book that the Dursleys often talk about Harry as if he's not in the room even though he is.

Live Action TV
"Rachel's boss: Should I call him? Or would that be sad and desperate, something Sophie would do? Sophie: Um, I'm right here. Rachel's boss: I know."
 * There was a whole episode of the The Suite Life of Zack and Cody where this was a Running Gag.
 * Several years ago during a blizzard in New York, David Letterman did a weeklong running gag wherein Norm MacDonald was the final guest of the evening, but he said at the end of the night "Norm MacDonald was going to be here but he was snowed in," with the gag being that MacDonald was in the Green room. On the fourth day MacDonald ran out on stage and said "Hey I'm right here!" but Letterman pretended he didn't see/hear him.
 * Friends:
 * This happens to Chandler a lot. Hence lines like, "Can you people not see me?" and "Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?"
 * Also:

"(Monica is walking away, Ross mutters an insult) Monica: I heard that! Ross: Well, I said it out loud!"
 * Not a direct example, but same basic principle:

"House: Foreman's not as easy as Cameron, but of course, who is? Cameron: I'm in the room."
 * A magically animated zit got offended in this way in an episode of Wizards of Waverly Place
 * Arrested Development did this several times as a running gag with Buster where people would be saying some pretty harsh things about him while the camera slowly panned out to show that he's right there. And it was absolutely hilarious every time.
 * In the US The Office Employee Transfer, Cornell grad Andy asks Dwight if he thinks he can get into Cornell. Dwight replies, "If someone who can barely outsell Phyllis can get in, I think I can manage." Phyllis is, of course, right beside them.
 * In another episode, Andy is eager to go on a business trip with Michael because "the old ball and chain has been more chain than ball." Fiancee Angela angrily points out that she's right there.
 * On the first season of Heroes, Nathan gives a campaign speech where he's calling his brother Peter mentally disturbed and suicidal, knowing damned well he's right there in the crowd and they make eye contact. Naturally, Peter gives him a nasty punch in the face in the parking garage after the event and stalks off into the rain.
 * Happens to Special Agent Michelle Lee while McGee and Abbey chat about her relative "hotness" level on NCIS (Shalom, Season 4).
 * House does this in the third season finale while talking to Chase.

"Buffy: You think I don't watch your movies? You always come back. Dracula disintegrates. Mist swirls and coalesces. Buffy: I'm Standing Right Here. Mist dissipates."
 * In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Buffy vs. Dracula", Buffy stakes Dracula, who disintegrates. Everyone leaves. Mist swirls around and Dracula re-forms. Standing just offscreen, Buffy stakes him again.

"Xander: Hard for me to hear? Buffy, you wanna kill ! Buffy: I don't want to. Xander: Then don't! This isn't new ground for us. When our friends go all crazy and start killing people, we help them. Willow: Sitting right here...! Xander: I'm sorry. But it's true."
 * Joss Whedon and his staff really like this, and play it both for comedy and drama.

"Groo: You are truly a goddess. Cordelia: Well, demonness, anyway. Sure beats horns and a tail. Lorne: (offended) Hey. I'm Standing Right Here."
 * And over on Angel

"FBI Agent: If you're not sleeping with him, why do you keep him around? Castle: You know I can hear you."
 * Gossip Girl has an episode where Blair equates Chuck sleeping with Vanessa (or, as Blair puts it, "the dregs of DUMBO") to she herself sleeping with Chuck's evil uncle. With Vanessa standing right next to them.
 * Amusingly enough, Chuck never objects to Blair's point. Lampshade Hanging of the fact that the viewers hate Vanessa?
 * Castle: Beckett and an FBI agent talk about Castle in the car in the episode "Tick, Tick, Tick".

"Jayne: Testing. Captain, can you hear me? Mal: I'm Standing Right Here. Jayne: [into radio] You're comin' through good and loud. Mal: 'Cause I'm Standing Right Here. Jayne: Yeah, well, but... the transmitter's..."
 * Firefly plays with this in the pilot.

""Whatever I am, it must be invisible.""
 * This happens to Rose in the second episode of the relaunched Doctor Who. When the Doctor tells Jabe that he and Rose aren't married, she makes some more guesses, ending in "prostitute?".

"Alissa: Hey, that's my dad you're talking about! Dick: Oh, I am so sorry. What was I thinking? Would you please leave so I can trash your father?"
 * Played with on 3rd Rock from the Sun. Tommy and Alissa are in the attic when Dick bursts in, loudly complaining about Strudwick.

"Jack: If she's telling the truth our lives are perfect! Eric: Well she's not. She's testing us, just stick with the plan. Rachel: Stop! Stop planning, and oh stop acting like I can't hear you!"
 * From Boy Meets World:


 * Aunt Agatha from Jeeves and Wooster has a habit of listing Bertie's faults to others while he's standing there. If he attempts to interject she normally silences him with an offhanded "Oh, be quiet, Bertie"

Newspaper Comics
"Asok: You said that right in front of him. Alice: He only listens when he's talking. (the boss smiles peacefully)"
 * This often happens in Dilbert, usually involving employees insulting the Pointy-Haired Boss and/or his demands. Most of the time, he either completely fails to notice or becomes angrier and angrier in each frame, with the implication that he hits his limit just after the last panel. In at least one case, he doesn't even hear the insult:

Truth In Television

 * It's common for parents to talk to other people about their children as if they weren't in the room, even when they in close proximity.
 * Disabled people get this a lot too, especially those with expressive language problems.
 * Blind and nearsighted people can acidentally do this to others.

Video Games
"Shepard (riling up a sick krogan): You? I said a Badass, not a sick scout whining like a quarian with a tummy-ache! Tali: I'm standing right here!"
 * Mass Effect:
 * Several of the elevator conversations consist of Wrex asking various squadmates who would win in a fight between Shepard and themselves. Shepard is, naturally, standing right in front of them, but doesn't say a word.
 * To be fair, Wrex always concludes that Shepard would win. Is Shepard gonna argue?
 * Of course not. S/he can't dispute something that's true.
 * Another one of these happens in the sequel, if you bring Tali along to Mordin's personal mission.

"Kenneth: So, Gabby, what d'you think of our new quarian boss? Gabby: Hush! She's right over there! Kenneth: Ah, she can't hear us with her head in that bucket. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful bucket; the whole suit is lovely, quite snug in all the right places. Tali: You know I can hear you. Gabby: Ha."
 * Actually happens twice to Tali. The other one is in the engine room, during one of the non-interactive conversations between the Engineers Gabby and Kenneth.

"Liara: (to Shepard) The beacon must think you're a Prothean, because of the Cipher you picked up all those years ago on Feros! Javik: Or it could be the Prothean standing next to you."
 * Another one appears in the 3rd game if you brought Javik to Thessia.

"Ohgren: So, you and the Grey Warden, huh? Morrigan: I hope you're not referring to Alistair. Oghren: Him? Does he even like girls? Morrigan: (amused) I believe the matter is still up for debate. Alistair: I'm right here, you know."
 * Shows up in another BioWare RPG as well, Dragon Age. If the player character romances Morrigan and then puts Alistair and Leliana in the party, they strike up a conversation about what the hell he sees in her. Leliana points out that he's standing about five feet away... which Alistair brushes off with, "Look, he's not even paying attention." Another time, if Zevran is romancing the Warden, Alistair will ask Zevran what his intentions towards the Warden are, and Zevran will point out the Warden is in proximity. And then there's this:

"Alyx: I guess you proved you can handle yourself out there. Eli: There's nothing Gordon can't handle... with the possible exception of you. Alyx: Dad, please... (Eli makes a mocking sound) (Gordon is standing less than five meters from them the whole time)"
 * Also happens when you cure Arl Eamon, and the discussion about the Ferelden throne begins, Teagan mentioning Alistair as an option. If you pick the "Alistair, are you serious!?" type of a reply to that, Alistair will protest that he's standing right there.
 * If you import a male Human Noble to the expansion pack, when you meet Nathaniel's sister, she comments on how she found a husband on her own, rather than marrying 'that stuck up Cousland lad father wanted to set me up with.' The replies are all variations on 'I'm standing not two feet in from of you with a flaming sword of death, you realize.' You do get an apology from her though.
 * Gordon Freeman of Half Life is simply born of this trope.

"Soren: I believe this will be a good opportunity. We will almost certainly have need of this man's talents. He is a dubious character at best, but at least we know his motives: everything begins and ends with gold. He'll be easy to control. Ike: Soren, he's standing right there. Soren: I don't think he minds."
 * In the Neverwinter Nights 2 module Dark Waters, a male PC who is pursuing a relationship with Heather can cause one of these that doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. While trying to recover more of her implanted memories of being Kendra (who was in love with Conley (whose memories were implanted into the PC)), you come across a memory of Kendra cheating on Conley with Sheridan, whose memories were implanted into your other friend Daniel. The exchange immediately following it consists of the player reassuring Heather that he trusts she won't cheat on him, culminating in a discussion of all of Daniel's faults that would make him an unsuitable partner, while he is standing nearby. He complains about it.
 * Fairly easy to imagine that this should happen in many games, when the only thing that averts the trope is the game's (or writer's) inability to account for who's around at a given time. For instance, in Baldur's Gate 2, Phaere wants you (while your party is disguised as drow) to "make an example" of a gnomish patrol. If you have Aerie in your party, she will immediately protest that a murderous act like that is wrong. Thank you, Aerie, I had no idea... and saying something like that in front of the daughter of a drow matriarch would be suicide if she actually paid attention.
 * The Simpsons Hit & Run - Bart complaining that if he doesn't get the new Bonestorm game, he'll be as uncool as Milhouse.
 * A variant about Volke shows up in Path of Radiance

Webcomics
"Zoe: Wow, I can't believe it, Sam was actually awesome! Sam: YES! WHO DA MAN! SAM DA MAN!! Zoe: I take it back, he's just as unbearable as ever. Sam: Still in earshot... Just moving out of earshot..."
 * In 1/0, Petitus and Zadok try to exchange "Yo Momma" jokes, but that falls flat because Zadok doesn't have one. So they switch to "Yo Creator" jokes.
 * In Dominic Deegan, Donovan says it word for word!
 * In Sluggy Freelance Sam gets this treatment from Zoe twice.
 * This is actually a running joke for Sam; even after he we get dialogue like the following:

"Trent: Aw, c'mon! You don't seriously believe what that thing is saying! Fred: "That thing" should not be discussed in the third person when it's present."
 * In an arc of General Protection Fault Fred the Slime Mold is being harassed by Smug Snake Trent. This culminates in a meeting in Dwayne's office.

"First girl: Don't you already have a boyfriend? Second girl: Of course I do. He's right here. Boyfriend: I am less than happy right now."
 * In Schlock Mercenary, during Schlocktoberfest 2005, Shodan comments on the competence of the local constabulary.
 * Later the commander and his father were discussing emergency recruitment of ex-adversaries. "Gentlemen, I'm standing between you."
 * In El Goonish Shive, a girl laments that Justin is gay because she can't ask him out despite having her boyfriend standing right next to her.

"Pierrot: And that King, what a disgusting and thick piece of work he was. Krep: Makes me vomit in my mouth just thinking of him. King: You know, I'm sitting right here. Krep: Hey! Does it look like we're talking to you?"
 * Spacetrawler: This page.

Web Original
"Kevin: You said he doesn't talk when he eats. Alex: Hey, I'm right here, you know. Lester: He's insecure. Alex: Hey, I just said I'm right here!"
 * Awkward:

"Sarge: It's critical to keep a little padding in your stats. That way if we're far enough ahead, I can stab Grif in the face, and still stay in the lead. Grif: You know, I'm standing right here. Sarge: Right where I want you! Within face stabbing range."
 * Red vs. Blue:

"Tucker: No fair, how come they get a girl? Tex: You guys know I'm a chick right? And I'm standing right here."
 * Also when the Blues see Donut's new "lightish-red" armor:

"Dave: Listen, me and the Help, we're pretty fucking tired to be honest. Isabel: I can hear you still."
 * Happens constantly between Isabel Guerra and Dave Morrison in Survival of the Fittest v4, mostly involving racist remarks towards Isabel.

"Mr. Yagami: How about this? I'll give you the death note and you can take my other daughter for free! Light: ... (*Death Glare*) Mello: No, no! I don't want that! I just want the death note! Mr. Yagami: What if I paid you? Mello: I! do! not! want! Your! kids! Just the Death Note!"
 * Happens to Light in Death Note the Abridged Series Kpts 4 tv when his father is negotiating with Mello and knows Light is listening in on the headset- Mr. Yagami begs Mello to kidnap Light as well:


 * In the I'm a Marvel And I'm a DC video The Dark Knight vs. The Avengers, the Avengers keep telling Batman things like his movie rebooting after only three films will be panthic and both sides paint it like their movies are the only blockbuster coming out of Marvel or DC over the summer. All in front of poor Spider-Man whom is having that exact same thing happen to him. And after he shouts "Come one guys, I'm standing right here!" they continue to ignore his presence and the fact his film is comming out. Poor Spidey.

Western Animation
"Skwisgaar: Just let me record it. Each take gets worse. He's slowly learning how to un-play the guitar. Toki: I can hear that, the talk-back mike is on. Skwisgaar: Pickle, please let me know when the talk-back mike is on so Mr. Sensitives doesn't go to cry-baby's house for vacation. Toki: I can stills hear you. Skwisgaar: So what do you want, a be-able- to-hear-things award?"
 * Metalocalypse:

"Pickles: Maybe we can take them out to dinner and get them off our backs. Nathan: So what do you guys feel like eating? (The camera pans over to show that they were there the entire time...)"
 * After ranting and raving about how they hate their families so much and even how they wish they were dead...

"Dad: DeeDee! Oh, DeeDee, where have you been all these years?! DeeDee: Right behind you! Dad: Oh, you know I never look back there! Ha ha!"
 * Dexter's Laboratory had a field day with this in "Mock 5", their Affectionate Parody of Speed Racer. Since DeeDee is fulfilling the roles of both Spritle and Racer X, Dad talks about how he hasn't seen DeeDee since that terrible racing accident...as she sits there at the breakfast table, desperately trying (and failing) to get his attention. At the end of the episode, he finally "finds" her:

"Abe: Thank you Joan... wherever you are. Joan: I'm right here. (pan to show she's right next to him) Abe: So you are, Joan. So you are."
 * Futurama has an example where Bender is talking new bureaucrat Morgan, then everyone else goes quiet. He says, "Uh-oh, she's right behind me, isn't she?". She says "No, I'm right in front of you", and is less than a foot away.
 * Clone High: After Abe wins a drag race by following the advice of his friend Joan, he looks wistfully up to the sky and says:

"Principal Skinner: I'm sentencing you [Nelson] to one week of the lowest, most degrading work known to man - janitorial work. Groundskeeper Willie: (hurt) Ah, geez. I'm standing right here, sir. Principal Skinner: Ah, yes. Uh ... Take a good look at him, Nelson, 'cause that's where you're headed."
 * In The Simpsons, Principal Skinner tells Homer about his cold feet at Moe's Tavern and makes Homer promise not to tell anyone else ("Don't worry, your secret's safe with me"). Next, we see Homer's face as he exclaims, "Marge, guess what? Skinner wants to bail on his wedding!" But when the camera pulls out, we see that Homer is still in the bar, sitting right next to Skinner in the same configuration as before, presumably just seconds after being told the secret. "Homer, you're still talking to me," says Skinner, to which Homer replies, "Oh man, is this awkward."
 * Also:

"Timmy (sitting two feet away): Hello, I'm right here! I can hear every word you're saying! Crocker: Then I don't need to repeat myself! I'll be over at six."
 * In one The Fairly OddParents episode, Crocker goes on a long rant about how he can use Timmy's grade as an excuse to invite himself over and search the house for fairy godparents.

"Shredder: Oh, how I've longed for an ally such as this! So unlike the snivelling idiots that I've been forced to suffer! Krang: I'm right here. I CAN HEAR YOU!"
 * 1987 Shredder, while he watches footage of the 2003 Shredder in Turtles Forever, and Krang stands a foot behind him.

"Peter: Hey, between you and me, I hear Joe's got a little free time these days. I hear he hasn't touched Bonnie in months. Joe: Peter, you just whispered that to me. Peter: Wait, here he comes."
 * Xiaolin Showdown: Omi ends up in a Showdown with a Cyclops, who would already be several times his size even if Omi hadn't been shrunk due to a mishap with the Shen-Gong-Wu. When the other monks mention just how bad the odds are, the tiny Omi has to remind them that he's right next to them.
 * Family Guy:

"Red Tornado: He does possess an adult body and the wisdom of Solomon. Aquaman: Wisdom does not equal maturity. Captain Marvel: Hey, I'm sitting right here!"
 * In another episode, Peter and his friends are playing "Would You Rather", and Quagmire's question to Peter is, "Would you have sex with Cleveland if it meant you could have sex with Angelina Jolie immediately afterwards. Unfortunately, Cleveland is sitting right there next to Peter, and he's clearly upset at what Quagmire is implying. Peter eventually answers "Yes" and Cleveland takes the answer as a compliment.
 * On Archer, Lana tells Mallory that Barry is a douchebag. Then Barry points out that he's sitting right next to her. He doesn't seem too bothered, though.
 * Phineas and Ferb, "I Was a Middle-Aged Robot": When Major Monogram tells Perry that there's a more important mission than thwarting Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Doofenshmirtz (who was in the middle of a rant when Monogram interrupted) is understandably affronted.
 * Young Justice: After Captain Marvel's secret is revealed to the Justice League, they have to debate whether he can stay.