The Hunger Games (novel)/Funny

The Books:
"Katniss:The arenas are historic sites, preserved after the Games. Popular destinations for Capitol residents to visit, to vacation. Go for a month, rewatch the Games, tour the catacombs, visit the sites where the deaths took place. You can even take part in reenactments. Katniss: They say the food is excellent."
 * Katniss describing the arenas.

"Katniss: For all I know, I am killing you. Peeta: Could you hurry it up then? Katniss: No. Shut up and eat your pears."
 * "While I was waiting... I ate your lunch."
 * "Ok, not funny. Not funny! Come back!" *THUD*
 * "Frosting, the final defense of the dying."
 * "You have to get better first." "I will! For Annie." "Good. But first, uh, you...might want to put on some pants."
 * "Why? Do you find this *strips off hospital gown*...distracting?"
 * And then, a bit later: "Don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear."
 * The soldiers' reactions as Katniss and Finnick leave.
 * The part between Katniss and Peeta while they ate lamb stew in the cave, where Peeta makes fun of Effie Trinket's disapproval of their manners.
 * On a similar note, Katniss mentioning how Effie must hate their manners when they get food while in the cave. Peeta then licks her plate, blows a kiss in the general direction of Effie, and says, "We miss you, Effie!"
 * This exchange, shortly after Katniss finds Peeta by the river:

""My mother and sister are home for 18:00-Reflection, a half hour of downtime before dinner...I empty my game bag and it becomes 18:00-Cat Adoration. Prim just sits on the floor weeping and rocking that awful Buttercup, who interrupts his purring only for an occasional hiss at me. He gives me a particularly smug look when she ties the blue ribbon around his neck.""
 * In "Mockingjay" when Katniss returns from District 12 with Buttercup in her bag:

""So people really do tear out their hair and beat the ground with their fists.""
 * Cato's reaction to Katniss and Rue blowing up the Career's food:

""Johanna Mason is naked again and oiling her skin down for a wrestling lesson. I decide to stay put.""
 * Johanna Mason's first appearance, where she's naked in the elevator and casually chatting with Katniss and Peeta.
 * The outfits the District 10 Tributes wear to the Chariot Ride before the Quarter Quell. They're dressed as... Cows with flaming belts.
 * Haymitch: "So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why you don't make the plans,"
 * "Then there's Peeta, who will be my partner in this deception, but how do I begin that conversation? Hey, Peeta, remember how I told you I was kind of faking being in love with you? Well, I really need you to forget about that now and act extra in love with me or the president might kill Gale."
 * While it's not as funny a moment later, because she's, Wiress' walking around in circles muttering "tick, tock" is pretty funny. Plus how fed up Johanna is with her.
 * During the pre-Quell training sequence in Catching Fire, Katniss remarks that the District 3 tributes are "a little strange," but is confident that they won't pull any crazy stunts like Johanna's post-Opening Ceremony striptease. The very next paragraph, as Katniss is looking around the Training Center for other things to try, has this bit:

"Johanna: You missed the best part. Delly lost her temper at Peeta over how he treated you. She got very squeaky. It was like someone stabbing a mouse with a fork repeatedly. The whole dining hall was riveted. Katniss: What'd Peeta do? Johanna: He started arguing with himself like he was two people. The guards had to take him away. On the good side, no one seemed to notice I finished his stew."
 * Johanna in general... She's got a pretty cavalier attitude to things that would scare the crap out of anyone else. Take this summary of one of Peeta's meltdowns in Mockingjay for example:

"Peacekeeper: May we ask where you've been, Miss Everdeen? Katniss: Easier to ask where I haven't been. Haymitch: So where haven't you been? Katniss: Well, I haven't been talking to the Goat Man about getting Prim's goat pregnant, because someone gave me completely inaccurate information as to where he lives. Prim: No, I didn't. I told you exactly. Katniss: You said he lives beside the west entrance to the mine. Prim: The east entrance. Katniss: You distinctly said west, because then I said 'next to the slag heap?' and you said 'yeah'. Prim: The slag heap next to the east entrance. Katniss: No. When did you say that? Haymitch: Last night. Peeta: It was definitely the east. I'm sorry, but it's what I've been saying. You don't listen when people talk to you. Haymitch: Bet people told you he didn't live there today and you didn't listen again. Katniss: Shut up, Haymitch."
 * The Victors screwing with Katniss and Peeta in the Capitol in Catching Fire. There's Finnick's creepy "want a sugar cube?" scene, Johanna stripping off her clothes, and Chaff randomly kissing Katniss, pretty much just to mess with the "star-crossed lovers."
 * In Catching Fire, after Katniss and Finnick observe how awful their newly-received salve makes them look, they agree to wake Peeta with both of their faces right in front of his and go into uncontrollable fits of laughter at his startled reaction and subsequent efforts at looking disdainful.
 * "Hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!"
 * "And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies."
 * In Catching Fire, the exchange between Peeta, Prim, Haymitch, and Katniss to cover in front of the Peacekeepers.


 * "When you put enough pressure on coal, it turns to pearls!" And Effie's so proud of it, as if it were the cleverest thing anyone could have possibly said.
 * The entire conversation between Haymitch and Katniss in Mockingjay concerning 'The Head Shackle.'
 * Katniss realizing she must be hallucinating when it looks to her like Peeta is sparkling.

The Movie:
"Haymitch: (turns to Katniss) Nice dress. (turns to Effie) Not yours."
 * Katniss threatening the cat.
 * Pretty much anything that came from Effie's mouth.
 * (with a scolding finger) "Manners!"
 * "That is mahogany!"
 * Effie is bagging out Katniss for shooting the apple out of the pig's mouth and turns to Haymitch for help. He gives Katniss a silent thumbs up. Effie's face is hilarious. "Thank you for your consideration." curtsy
 * And the almighty Haymitch strikes again:

"Snow: An eleven? Seneca: She earned it. Snow: She shot an arrow at your head. Seneca: At an apple. Snow: Near your head."
 * The look Effie gives him after was the cherry on top.
 * Ceasar Flickerman appearing in Katniss' hallucination.
 * "You call that a kiss?"
 * Peeta telling Katniss he'll take the bow and her affronted and confused look. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming when he tells her he's kidding and she smiles affectionately. It reminds us that Katniss and Peeta are just two teenagers and Peeta is just trying to flirt with her.
 * The first part of Snow and Seneca's conversation in the rose garden:

"Seneca: Everyone loves an underdog. Snow: I don't."
 * When Ceasar turns to address the audience. Cue super pearly white grin.
 * Cato yelling at some male tributes for taking his knife. Cut to Rue up in the rafters, holding it.
 * One that probably wasn't supposed to be funny, but becomes that way thanks to Donald Sutherland's bone dry delivery.


 * Haymitch's opening scene.
 * "Tell me, do I smell like roses to you?"