Merlin (TV series)/Funny

The Show
Among many, many others:

"Merlin: Do you think I sit around doing nothing?! I haven't had the chance to sit around doing nothing since the day I arrived in Camelot: too busy running around after Arthur. "Do this Merlin, do that Merlin!" and when I'm not running around after Arthur I'm doing chores for you and when I'm not doing that I'm fulfilling my destiny! Do you know how many times I've saved Arthur's life?! I've lost count. Do I get any thanks? No...! I have fought griffins, witches, bandits... I have been punched, poisoned, pelted with fruit and all the while I have to hide who I really am because if anyone finds out Uther will have me executed! Sometimes I feel as though I'm being pulled in so many directions I don't know which way to turn!"
 * From The Gates of Avalon: Food shortage.
 * "The Once and Future Queen": Merlin's Rant. The expression on Gaius's face was priceless, not to mention the ranty Lampshade Hanging...

"Merlin: Gwen says you're cooking."
 * In series two, episode 2 - the chicken. Just the chicken.

"Arthur: [knocking on Lady Vivian's door] It is Destiny, my love... Destiny and chicken."
 * The whole "investigating of the raw chicken" scene.
 * And speaking of chicken, this from "Sweet Dreams":

"Merlin: I'd never lie to you Arthur. [beat] I respect you far too much for that."
 * Speaking a third time of chicken, how about Gwaine and Percival's attempted chicken theft in 4x01?
 * "The Nightmare Begins"

"Merlin: I thought you were going for a hug.
 * "Beauty and the Beast, Part 2"
 * Everyone at Camelot awkwardly dancing around the fact that Uther's new wife is a troll.
 * The near-Troll-shagging scene (though, granted, Your Mileage May Vary).
 * "The poison, er, the potion..."
 * Really, just that whole part.
 * Really, just that whole episode.

Arthur: Nooooo."

"Uther: I did some things that I... regret.

Arthur: Really Father, I don't want to hear the details."

"Arthur: Would you like me to show you how to use the bucket?"
 * The dragon's laughter. Maybe it was just the juxtaposition of a character who is normally so bleak and solemn practically rolling on the floor laughing, but something about his laughter is just so infectious.
 * "The Tears Of Uther Pendragon"

"Arthur: Describe Dollop Head.
 * Also from that episode:

Merlin: In two words? *Arthur nods* 'Prince Arthur.'"

"Uther: The Council is dismissed!
 * All of the 2009 Children in Need special, particularly Uther. No, you didn't read that wrong.
 * The guard with the assault rifle in the background...which is pointed at Uther.
 * "You were CC'd on the email!!"
 * "Goblin's Gold"... almost all of it. Especially the parts where Gwen, Morgana, and Uther are farting loudly while court is held, Arthur's reaction to his ears getting scratched, and the "do girls even fart?" conversation between Merlin and Gwen.

[Gwen and Morgana fart again as the Council remains dumbstruck]

Uther: NOW!

[everyone rushes out]"

"Arthur: Merlin?
 * And also Arthur with donkey ears attempting to explain what happened to him while only able to bray, and Uther being struck bald (which is also an in-universe example - Merlin cracks up as soon as he's out of sight and earshot).
 * Not to mention Goblin-Gaius repeatedly slapping Uther's head.
 * "Let's make sweet perfume together!"
 * In the series three finale: It's Raaaaat!
 * Also this exchange.

Merlin: No, I don't really fancy it.

Arthur: You don't have a choice, Merlin.

Merlin: Ok. [Stands up and grins]

Also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming"

"Old!Merlin: "I am DRAGOOOOOOON! ...the great!" "Well, I really wouldn't do THAT, 'cause if you do THAT... you'll never discover my plaaaan...." "EXACTLY, THAT'S WHY YOU CAN'T RUN ME THROUGH!" "I've heard how you... mistreat your servants!" and Arthur with, "...You're sentenced to death, it's not like we can execute you twice...""
 * Merlin, in disguise, giving a The Reason You Suck Speech to Uther and Arthur. The looks on their faces were hilarious. Can also count as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for Merlin.
 * Really, everything about Old!Merlin is a CMOF, especially noticeable in a rather bleak episode.

"Old!Merlin: "Questions, so many questions, for once in your life would you just DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD!""
 * Old!Merlin in 4x03 as well:

"Witchfinder: My methods are infallible, my findings incontestable. The facts point to one person and once person alone. The boy, Merlin! *everyone gasps in fear*
 * Also in "The Wicked Day", Old Merlin insults Arthur even more, and gets him to give him a piggy back, down to dig his feet in as a "hurry up" gesture.
 * The keys scene, in which Merlin tries to steal Arthur's keys using magic. Arthur hears them jingling, and starts following the sound around the room, looking more and more ridiculous as Merlin moves them around so they're always behind him... and watches with a completely straight face.
 * The Witchfinder. This exchange:

Arthur: (completely deadpan, with as much skepticism as can be put into one word) Merlin. You can't be serious."

"*horrible screaming*
 * While camping in the Perilous Lands:

Merlin: What was that..?

Gwaine: Pheasant.


 * more horrible screaming*

Gwaine: A big pheasant.

Merlin: That sounded like three...pheasants."

"Arthur: So long as you do a decent day’s work Merlin, that’s all I care about.
 * In The Lady of The Lake while Merlin is stealing a dress

Merlin: No, no - It's not for me.

Arthur: What a man does in his spare time is up to him.

What makes it funny is that two guards walk by a second before, look at each other for a moment and then walk on"

"Arthur: I feel great! What the hell did you give me?"
 * "We can dress him as a woman!"
 * The food stealing and Arthur's "I am not fat!" in the Lady of the Lake. Especially with Arthur throwing the pitcher of water into Merlin's face to "wake him up."
 * When Arthur recovers in 2x13. His voice hits falsetto.

"Arthur: What were you doing?
 * Everything that happens to Gwaine in 4x02. The bees, the socks, the Wildren...
 * Merlin and Arthur, after Merlin comes out of some bushes where he un-disguised himself:

Merlin: Peeing!

Arthur: You mean to tell me...you were peeing all the time I was in there?

Merlin: I really had to go.

Arthur: There is definitely something very wrong with you."

"Arthur: So... Merlin..., that really can't feel good.
 * In Aithusa we have Merlin yanking down Arthur's pants with magic and wrestling him to the ground in front of Arthur's entire council who are completely stone-faced stoic throughout the entire scene!
 * And before that: Woodworms! They're only active before breakfast!
 * Merlin trying to be stealthy and tripping and falling face first into a tent in His Father's Son.
 * A Servant of Two Masters is full with them.
 * Gwen clocking a Brainwashed and Crazy Merlin with a pitcher. Twice!
 * Merlin and Sir Leon in the Armory.
 * Arthur's completely dignified response to Gaius's presence in his bed-chamber, even though he's stark naked in front of a rather delighted Gwen with only a pillow for modesty. There's a good chance he looks back on the whole experience as a particularly vivid dream.
 * "Dragoon" using the Knights of Camelot as stepladder for his horse.
 * Morganas Oh Crap as she finds 'Emrys' (Old Merlin) searching her hut. And Merlin simply shrugging and continuing.
 * In "Lamia," we have banter!

Merlin: Feels a lot better than being dead.

Arthur: Does it? ... or dying... I'd have to think about that one.

Merlin: Well don't think too hard, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"Tristan: And we couldn't be caught by Camelot's idiot of a king.
 * Any scene with simpleton!Arthur is amazing. Particularly once Merlin starts getting exasperated with him or taking advantage of the situation to get out of his usual duties.
 * This deserves special mention (it is paraphrased, mind you):

(The camera pans to Arthur, who is knocking on a tree with one ear pressed against it.)"


 * Arthur nonchalantly saying of Excalibur: "Hey, this thing's not bad!"

DVD Video Diaries

 * Also, (and this might actually want to go under Real Life) the video diaries that are on the [DVDs].

"Colin Morgan: I’m really popular around here. These guys really really like me as you can see on Bradley’s face.
 * Colin apparently "talking" about Bradley.
 * Colin and Bradley in the cave:

Bradley James: Yeah.

Colin Morgan: I’ve heard there’s some really weird wildlife around here.

Bradley James: Oh I thought I saw something in the water earlier.

Colin Morgan: Really?

Bradley James: Maybe check it out. See if you can see anything.

Colin Morgan: I don’t know. I mean I saw a cave spider earlier-(turns camera and sees the duck) WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! (pause) What is that... It’s... a... it’s a red-eyed DUCK. It's a red-eyed duck in the water.

Bradley James: Carefully. It will attack you.

Colin Morgan: Oh no. It’s floating towards us.

Bradley James: It’s coming straight for us.

Colin Morgan: Quick! Let’s go!

Bradley James: It’s coming straight at us. Its got that evil look in its eye! (he falls on the floor)

Colin Morgan: Bradley? Bradley? Are you okay?"

"Anthony Head: You've gone red.
 * Amongst the best bits are when, while shopping in a french supermarket, Bradley James rants about not having a fridge, which is followed by this:

Bradley James: Yeah, cause that's how angry I am about not having a fridge!

Anthony Head: Why are you angry at not having a fridge?

Bradley James: Cause I can't drink milk!

Anthony Head: Oh. * beat* I've told you, milk's not that good for you."

"Bradley James: I have the magic phrase: * sings* 'Je ne comprends pas, je suis Anglais, ya-hey!'
 * As well as:


 * the entire Amusement Park video, to be honest. Not least of all for hearing Colin Morgan's potty mouth, or Anthony Head's "Splish Splesh" in an uncannily accurate French accent"

"Angel Coulby: Oh, you're so good. You're such an...angel.
 * And:

Bradley James: Yes, I AM. If our names were actually representations of who we are, I'd be called Angel, and you'd be called... hussy!"

"Colin Morgan: See this is what is going on, he just bullies me on set and off set, it's just... it's like a constant thing. Since we've come to France, it's got really bad.
 * And:

Bradley James: Oh, has it?

Colin Morgan: Yeah.

Bradley James: Oh, it's really bad, is it? Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that you're being bullied, MERlin. (Colin shakes head and leaves) Right, everyone, okay? Everyone looooves Colin 'oh he's so nice, he's so innocent', you know, 'awww Colin, awww'. 'Oh, Bradley, don't worry about Bradley, he's fine, yeah, you know, whatever. Colin awww, look after Colin, uuh'. If I weren't here to give Colin Morgan a hard time, well... let's just say it's lucky that I'm here to give Colin Morgan a hard time!"

"Bradley James: Have you been to Cardiff before?
 * And, of course:

Colin Morgan: Are there any ginger people in Cardiff?

Bradley James: ...I think there are one or two...

Colin Morgan: No, I'm not really looking forward to going to Cardiff.

Bradley James: Fair enough. The only acceptable form of racism, being that of racism against... gingers... apparently. I personally do not take part in such forms of racism."

"Bradley James: In a world that is... medieval... full of... medium-sized evil... one boy... has the power... to be... powerful..."
 * Not to mention Bradley James 'translating' some French song lyrics as 'we're all going to die', Colin Morgan mouthing 'he bullies me every day! Help me!' at the camera, the spider incident, and 'je suis loser!' (which can be viewed here, starting at 07:50).
 * What about this one? This entire scene is priceless.

"Bradley James: In a world that's medieval...wh...(looks up and sees a hot air balloon)...that's not very medieval..."
 * And actually, the moment just before this is pretty darn hilarious too:

"Angel Coulby: They don't need our help."
 * THIS crowning moment of moments from Merlin: Secrets and Magic. Sing along now: "YOU'RE THE VOICE, TRY AND UNDERSTAND IT..."
 * The cast on the DVD commentaries also get some great one-liners in. In The Moment of Truth Katie is commenting on all the Ho Yay between Arthur and Merlin, leading to Bradley finally saying: "You're just fueling all those websites." Then you can hear Angel quietly say:

"Katie: Don't worry, I'll point him out again. You won't miss him.
 * On the same track, half-way through the epic fight scene, Angel and Katie start gushing about one of the stunt-men that they found really hot.

Colin: (deadpan) Cheers."

"(to Angel) Aw, you look lovely there. (scene cuts to Bradley) He looks alright."
 * In the commentary for The Once and Future Queen, Antony Head has this to say about The Big Damn Kiss:


 * From Secrets and Magic for episode 1, Mackenzie Crook describes his fight with Merlin as "me and Merlin having a bit of rough and tumble in Arthur's chamber". He immediately realises what he's just said, and loses track of the interview for a few seconds.

The Outtakes
"Bradley: Are you with me?
 * All of the Outtakes. But highlights include Gwaine falling off a building into a pile of hay, Colin Morgan impersonating the Grinch and Anthony Head dissolving into helpless laughter. Several times.
 * And when Anthony Head accidentally calls Arthur "Bradley" whilst shooting one of the scenes.
 * The scene from The Fires of Idirsholas where Bradley pulls Anthony back off the desk and a piece of paper sticks to his face.
 * Gwaine tripping and falling flat while Merlin keeps walking and talking, not noticing Gwaine.
 * A selection can be seen here
 * Another one worth noting can be found here at 3:02. In case it gets removed, here's the jist of it:

Group of men: -screaming in affirmation-

(Beat)

Straggler: Aye."

"Bradley: If we're going to break everyone out, we must... remember our lines."
 * Bradley screwing up is always funny.


 * In the season 4 bloopers, Bradley and Colin flee down a corridor and into a chamber, slam the door behind them... and the door keeps going and swings open the other way. They laugh, and then shrug and keep running.
 * YMMV on the above; the appeal may be the fact that Bradley still seems dead serious as the door swings open before he adopts a grade-A Oh Crap expression, grabs Colin (who is on the verge of breaking character) by the arm and runs away while the latter laughs.
 * Colin Morgan randomly doing a cartwheel.
 * Nathaniel Parker taking over from Anthony Head as a helpless giggler.
 * The Knights of the Round Table and their complete inability to walk in a straight line without falling over. Truly they are Camelot's finest.