Desert Bus for Hope/Awesome

"Alex: ANYONE ELSE WANNA CLUB ME?! Crew: *muffled refusals*
 * Desert Bus for Hope 5. Where to begin?
 * The Live Auctions managed to provide a significant amount of awesome this year.
 * The user Ducttape managed to win a fierce bidding war against dave_random with a massive $3339. For a scarf. Made extra awesome due to Ducttape Space Bidding (bidding against their own bid in order to drive the price up).
 * The user Dostrow managed to win a custom sketch of Yoda from Ken "Value Added" Steacy for $5700.
 * A sheet of Magic: The Gathering foil rares went up for auction, which was awesome in itself, but then the winning bid went to Notch for $10,000. Yes, that Notch.
 * Kate managed to club Alex by baking a cake around it, then giving the cake to Alex for him to slice.
 * Alex gets clubbed once again, but then the feed goes down. When it comes up, he has taken the entire crew hostage in revenge.
 * And then:

Alex:"