Naruto/WMG/Silly

This is a list of silly, or Just for Fun wild mass guesses for the series Naruto. More serious entries should go in one of the open pages.
Please add new entries to the bottom of the page.

Tsunade beats up anyone who calls her old so not just anyone tries to become Hokage.
Think about it.

Kishi is a fan of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.
How else could he have come up with The Twist regarding Itachi. Almost identical to the situation with The Joy and Naked Snake.

The Naruto universe is the future of the Avatar universe.
Bending is basically a primordial version of Hand-Seals, and redirecting chakra in a more general manner than the over-specialized Seals.
 * The Uchiha clan are the descendants of Aang. Previous generations, unique in their ability to manipulate the air, took the symbol of a fan (Uchiha) as their family emblem and name.
 * Ah, touche! The Uchiha clan specializes in their manipulation of fire, their ability to increase it, like a fan. On the other hand, we learn later in the series that Naruto's elemental affinity is with wind... Pattern? Much?
 * Naruto could be the descendant of Aang. They have very similar personalities sometimes. (Naruto is brattier at the beginning, though. And not a monk.) And let's not forget that in both series, the healer is The Chick.
 * The Fire Nation is an archipelago and the Land of Fire is a continent; anything from a massive earth battle to plain old silting up could be the cause.
 * Alternatively (and inversely), the Avatar world is the Naruto world After the End, and the differences in the world are the result of the local apocalypse.
 * This seems much more likely, since hand signs seem to be more complex than the how easily bending is performed and that technology is more advanced
 * Wait Fridge Logic just kicked in. If Naruto and Avatar are the same world, wouldn't that make Pain the avatar because he can control all of the elements?
 * Well, the old toad's prophecy did say that one of Jiraya's students would be the "chosen one". It didn't say which chosen one, did it? *** When Naruto and Nagato come face-to-face, the old told confirms that.
 * MASSIVE Avatar spoiler but early part of Naruto-.
 * Because Sarutobi tried to tear out Oro's SOUL! As opposed to
 * Well, one of Toph's name meanings is "Supporting Lotus". Maybe Rock Lee isn't just pure brawls, but Toph's descendant!
 * Another possibility is that neither universe is the future of the other, but that each universe simply exists as an alternate timeline.

The entire series is Sasuke's daydream, and Naruto the Abridged Series is the "reality" of the Naruto Verse.
In canon, Sasuke is easily the most powerful Genin on Team 7, Sakura (and every other girl) is constantly squeeing over him, Naruto's always holding the Idiot Ball to the point where he's the Plucky Comic Relief, and Sasuke comes from the most powerful line of ninja in the world....but in TAS Sakura's crush is on Naruto and she only pretends to like Sasuke, Naruto's such a powerful ninja that his battles don't even exist ("..that was easy"), and Sasuke's a whiny, bratty emo kid whose greatest adversary is a LOG.
 * Yes... it's all so clear now. That must be it :p

Naruto is a young Ryu Hayabusa
This troper recently fired up Ninja Gaiden 2, and it suddenly made sense. In the game, Ryu can get a powerup that allows him to create a semiphysical copy of himself, can throw giant shuriken that seem to have a mind of their own, and is adept at climbing up walls with no footholds. And guess what color ninja outfit "Ryu"'s clones wear? BRIGHT ORANGE. Coincidence? I think NOT!
 * Genin can do all that stuff. The bright orange is probably just Ryu's homage to our hero and his skill at clone jutsu.
 * Ryu also has brown hair, so Naruto would need to dye it in the future. I also don't recall him using the clone jutsu in the original Xbox game or Dragon Sword, although he does use a fire jutsu similar to Sasuke's Fireball Jutsu.

Maito Gai's links with either Brave series (eg GaoGaiGar) and seiyuu Hiyama Nobuyuki
This troper think that Kishimoto may have been some sort of fan of either those two. Hiyama Nobuyuki voiced two protagonists in the Brave series named Maito/Might Senpuuji and Gai/Guy Shishioh. Now you see where Naruto's Gai's name come from? No wonder he is so Hot-Blooded. This troper is willing to bet when the anime comes in, he might've planned Nobuyuki to voice Gai, but since the character is too old, he changed his mind
 * You forget that "Might Guy" was the intended translation.

The show takes place in the same universe as Stargate SG-1.
The people are descendants of ancient Japanese natives brought to that world by the Goa'uld Amaterasu. The demons and mythological creatures? Other Ancient strains that rebelled against the non-interference protocol and take the forms of said beasts. Chakra techniques? Well, we know that telekinesis can be granted by genetic mutation in the Stargate universe...perhaps it's something in the air? Oh, and as for the world's Stargate? Long buried and forgotten.

Tobi is a Skrull
Seriously, not only is he and, there are reasonable arguments that he's also Danzo and/or Obito. How the hell else could he be possibly anyone?
 * He's SPARTACUS. Duh.
 * My personal theory is that Tobi is using some kind of genjutsu that, when his mask is removed, lets him appear as the person the viewer respects or fears the most. Thus, Itachi would have seen him as Madara Uchiha, the legendary invincible leader of his clan, while Kisame would have seen him as the Mizukage, the leader of his village.
 * Wouldn't this mean that Sasuke would see him as Itachi, or his father? Although him seeing him as an Uchiha does make sense...
 * The simpler explanation is that as already seen, he has the ability to teleport anywhere at any time. If he was still pushed for time, he could make shadow clones, disguise them, and teleport them in his stead. Wait, how come none of the Uchihas use Shadow Clones? Would really help them out.
 * Itachi himself is shown to make very liberal use of shadow clones. He uses them in his first battle with Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai, catching Kakashi from behind with a kunai after he had dodged a water-based jutsu, and then detonating it just as Kakashi got away. In his first appearance in Shippuuden, he summons a shadow clone while fighting Kakashi, who then charges Naruto. True, it is revealed that by that point Naruto was already under Itachi's genjutsu, but still. And finally, he uses a clone during his fight with Sasuke to grab him from behind and hold him down while the original body rips out his eyes.
 * No one's thought of this yet? Madara could have transferred his soul into the womb of a woman. When that baby was born, it was named Obito, but it had lost all of Madara's memories. However, after Obito's death, Madara's memories finally resurfaced, and Obito returned to life as Madara Uchiha.
 * That sounds strangely familiar...

The filler arcs are bedtime stories/fairytales/comic book adventures/a tv show for the later generations of Konoha
This explains the drop in quality and the inordinate amount of focus on minor characters ("Tell me a story about the Lady Hinata, daddy! She's my favourite!"), as well as the omake-like humour and occasional OOC-ness.
 * On a related note: Iruka suffers from a rare form of schizophrenia that causes him to completely believe in elaborate delusions that color the way he tells stories. In this case he is convinced that he and Kakashi have been involved in a stable (but secret) long-standing relationship for years. They're not. And Kakashi has no idea. So, for example, that three episode "rookie teacher Iruka" filler after the Pain saga wherein Iruka recalls his early teaching days, and Kakashi comments on "the glimmer in his eyes?" It never happened. The whole story is structured like a flashback from Iruka's point of view - even moments where he wasn't present and so could have no real memory of the events.

Shinobi are the Heroes and Villains of the Naruto-verse.
The abilities shown look a lot like the special abilities demonstrated on that show. Even the Charles Atlas Superpowers are far above what human musculature can produce unaided. Chidori looks a lot like what Elle's power would in a non-projectile form. Fireball jutsu is Meredith's power emitted from the mouth instead of the hands. Orochimaru practically has "I'm this world's Sylar!" written on his forehead.
 * Correction: Pain is this world's Sylar. He's a thousand times cooler and nastier than that pedophiliac heptophiliac.
 * Counterpoint: Pain has his set of powers, and doesn't seem to be collecting more. Orochimaru  collecting jutsus by assimilating a number of hosts, much like Sylar was using his original power.

The author is someone whos parents kept going on at him about how important hard work is, until it was drilled into his head, but he doesn't actually believe it and is secretly rebellious
This is why Rock Lee has completely amazing abilties, but is abosutly useless outside of filler, and is always why Shikmaru seemed ineffective at first, but everything always goes his way. It should also be noted, the writer said that if he were a girl he'd go out with Shikamaru. Considering Shikamaru's philosophy, this rather makes sense (creator might also be gay, but thats for another WMG). It may also be why Naruto spent 40 minutes lecturing Neji about how one's potential is NOT determined at birth, then knocked him out using something that was put here at Naruto's birth
 * This Troper was always a little bothered by that as well. I like Naruto and all, but sometimes I wish a character like Rock Lee would succeed where even Naruto had failed. Oh well, this series does not have an entry in Broken Aesop for nothing.
 * Masashi Kishimoto does look like Rock Lee, but since he has a twin brother, perhaps he's making fun of Seishi?
 * Technically, Naruto's nine-tailed fox chakra enables him to get access to chakra after being hit with Eight Trigrams 64 Palms, but it's not what helps him win the battle; his popping out of the hole and surprising Neji with the shadow clone that is an advanced version of the jutsu that he couldn't master. This is a frustratingly common misconception on this wiki.
 * It's almost as frustrating and as common as that response. After being hit by Neji's Eight Trigrams 64 Palms, Naruto has no chakra, and anybody else in the Naruto universe, when out of chakra, has no recourse. Can you honestly tell this wiki that 'it's not what helps him win the battle'? The fact is, the reason Naruto was able to win that fight is owed entirely to the fact that he had an extra reserve of chakra. All the advanced battle strategy contained within popping out of a hole wouldn't have helped Naruto one bit if he hadn't contained within him a bonus source of chakra... something that was present at birth. The first part of the fight could be considered a Jossing of the previous Troper's statement by itself: Even showcasing the effort of his hard work, the Shadow Clone Jutsu, and using it to what maximum effect he could, Naruto still got summarily beat down by Neji. The 9-Tailed Fox's chakra was what allowed Naruto to get to the point where he could surprise Neji.
 * However, Naruto still had to practice to gain acces to that power. It wasn't easy, neither to gain nor to use. All of his trainning before the Third Exam was for this purpose. Furthermore, this troper finds offenze in the above statment that a ninja without chakra is useless. It is because Neji held that belief that he let his guard down and was nailed. As we are on WMG, I would like to suggest that thiis was Naruto's plan all along as he knew of this extra chakra reserve from the first episode and used it two(maybe three times) previously and both were in desperate situations. A ninja must see through deception.

The entire second part of the series was written by Hinata and Sakura/Ino/some Sasuke fan.
Hence why Shippuden is about virtually nothing but Sasuke and Naruto, both with several shirtless scenes. The reason Sasuke seems to get so much more screentime lately is because Hinata is too scared to say otherwise. Also, the entire Hidan/Kazuku was the result of their crushes on Shikamaru, but both are in denial over it.
 * Which would explain the sudden entry of the Sasuke X Sai yaoi moment that Sakura seemed to enjoy.........
 * Considering recent events in the manga, this says very bad things about Hinata's self-esteem...
 * Hinata must also be a lot more forceful than we thought given that Sasuke barely appears for the first three arcs and we're still not at that point 100 episodes into the anime. Though on second thoughts, that might explain a lot. (Sasuke's sudden central focus, Hinata's recent treatment in both the manga and anime filler...) So who is the Shikamaru fan in this group?
 * Shiho, obviously. She portrays herself as a nerdy nobody so that no one will suspect that she is ever so slowly letting Shikamaru take over. Giving Sasuke so much screen time is just a distraction from this takeover because he's such a divisive character while Shikamaru is (for some inexplicable reason) extremely popular with the fans.
 * It could also be Temari, because not only is there the potential ship with Shikamaru, but she was also somewhat attracted to Sasuke when she first saw him, blushing slightly when she thought he was asking her for her name.
 * But then she met Shikamaru, who immediately caused her to forget her short interest in Sasuke.

The entire Naruto-verse is an A/U of Basilisk that got out of hand.
Sasuke and Hinata initially started out as Expies of Gennosuke and Oboro respectively, with the author adapting their powers to allow for more awesome fight scenes; rationalizing that it make no sense to have a single clan with wildly varying powers, the author created 'bloodline limits.' The Naruto-verse was supposed to be a light-hearted A/U, but as friends put in requests for characters and Naruto - the Author Avatar - became more and more the main character, the resemblances between Basilisk and Naruto deteriorated. At last it resembled something else altogether, although most of the rest of Basilisk made appearances as highly-changed characters; for example, Akeginu became Tsunade, Koshirou became Kiba, Orochimaru inherited Tenzen's evil and immortality, while Hinata's 'evil kinsman' concept was split between Neji and Hiashi and appropriately watered-down.
 * Naruto and Basilisk are based on the same set of Japanese folk stories/novels/"history".

There is a direct correlation between a ninja's overall power and how much of a perv they are
Almost all of the most powerful ninja we've seen are massive perverts. Jiraya, obviously a pervert, is arguably the most powerful of the three Sannin. Orochimaru may have been a pedophile, and was a master of forbidden jutsu. Kakashi and his Icha Icha obsession. Even Naruto's massive power boost was accompanied by a number of pervy habits. The same goes for Sakura (who's probably hiding a yaoi fetish), and Konohamaru (is it really a coincidence that he develops two variations on the Sexy Jutsu AND he can use the Rasengan? I think not). Therefore the only explanation is that Chakra is powered by perversion potential.
 * Therefore Ataru Moroboshi of Urusei Yatsura would be able to shatter all of the ninja world with a mere poke?
 * Let's not forget how Naruto totally slammed Sandaime with the Sexy Jutsu.
 * It would also explain why Rock Lee can do no ninjutsu or genjutsu and had to train so hard. He's not a pervert.

Pain reads For Better or For Worse
As evidenced by his plan, he belives "everyone should [know suffering]" per Polish WW 2 survivor Lovey's words; however he left out the last part: "But only a little".
 * He also plays Metal Gear Solid ("Akatsuki will control all war") and reads Watchmen (his "squid" can be re-used!).
 * And he reads TV Tropes, which is why he's using a Deus Angst Machina backstory in an attempt to become the Woobie, and with that the Ensemble Darkhorse! That way he can succeed in his plot to rule the world!

Gamakichi was always hungry pre-timeskip because he was just starting his massive growth spurt
Just like a human teen, his body was telling him to consume mass quantities to fuel his absurd rate of growth. One can only assume that he became as a horde of locusts at some point during the Timeskip, judging by how much he grew.

Orochimaru is Michael Jackson.
Think about it.
 * This theory is far too sane to belong in WMG.
 * Can he moonwalk?
 * It would make Tsunade as Madonna, and Jiraiya as... Rick Astley?
 * Jiraiya is more David Lee Roth.
 * So he can do This?
 * Well, there's one more thing they have in common now -  And if I hear another word about I'mma gonna hurt someone.

Shino is somehow related to Auron.
Gravelly voice (in the dub, anyway)? Check. Cool shades and a face-obscuring collar? Check. The Stoic? Check. Badass? Hell yes!

The final Big Bad will be taken down by Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu.
This will bring the series back full circle. Sexy no Jutsu will become required learning in the Ninja Academy. Konoha will be rebuilt as a sexual fantasy tourist trap, which will send the economy soaring to heights never reached before by any hidden village. Konoha's eventual complete economic dominance over all the other villages will eradicate the need for ninjas, thus ending the shinobi wars once and for all and fulfilling the prophecy about Naruto being the Chosen One who will usher in an era of peace.
 * You know, seeing how this show is, this is too good to pass up.

The series takes place in the same universe as Warhammer 40,000.
The people are descended from the humans who colonised the planet during the Dark Age of Technology. They later lost contact with the rest of the galaxy as well as most of their advanced tech during the Age of Strife. The shinobi and other chakra users are psykers who have developed methods of harnessing the power of the warp without exposing themselves to possesion from hostile warp entities. Summons are benevolent warp entities who chose to ally themselves to humans while the bijuu are malevolent daemons.
 * Naruto meets 40K, you say...

Is it wrong that this one thinks Norio Wakamoto should voice Kirabi when he finally appears in the anime?
Kind of self-explanatory, really. If you don't think it'd work, go and imagine some of Kirabi's lines being said by Wakamoto's voice. Or, if you don't think Kirabi is awesome enough to warrant that, go take a look at his entry on the series' CMoA page. Also, not entirely sure if this goes here or somewhere else, so please don't kill me for it.
 * How about the baddest motherfucker of all time? C'mon, you know you want to see that.
 * I vote for Lester Speight. You can't tell me it wouldn't be cool to have Kirabi voiced by Augustus Cole. "Eight-Tails is in yo' house, bitch! You hear dat shit?!"
 * In the anime, Killerbee is voiced by Hisao Egawa. But yes, Norio Wakamato should have a role.

With all the mystic eyes floating about, at least a few of them will become artifacts, passed on through many users.
And to beat a Sharingan, someone's going to bust out the Eye of Vecna.

Sakura is the future reincarnation of Yachiru from Bleach.
Yachiru was eventually killed during the Soul Society vs Aizen war and is reincarnated into the Naruto world as Sakura Haruno.

Alternatively, Sakura is Yachiru undercover in a gigai because Aizen lost. She is now planning on becoming God by manipulating the Akatsuki and using the Tailed Beasts.

Both theories are mostly crack and based on the Rule of Cool and Rule of Funny, but if you think on it, it makes sense that Sakura is Yachiru.
 * Both Sakura and Yachiru have pink hair.
 * They both have a huge forehead.
 * They're both physically strong.
 * The Naruto world could easily be an Alternate World to the Real World.

Also, who wouldn't want to see Kenpachi and the rest of the 11th Squad appear in the Naruto world and kick major ass? And admit it - Sakura would look Badass in Shinigami garb unleashing a Bankai. Any Fanfic writers willing to take on this plot-bunny?

This would make Inner Sakura the Soul Cutter's persona.

The Daimyo follows those WHO TALK REALLY LOUDLY.
He just listened to  because he was shouting, and the voice of reason (Shikamaru's father) was quieter by comparison. Therefore, the whole problem will be resolved by introducing the daimyo to MAITO GAI!
 * Thats so crazy it might just work! SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH FOR EVERYONE!
 * Like this?

Gaara has a time gourd
Given to him by the time goids.

Pain is the Narutoverse's Stephenie Meyer.
They share the same view. Pain wants everyone to know pain by physical violence and destruction, while Stephenie Meyer relies on psychological pain.
 * I applaud your logic

Gaara wrote My Immortal
Why else does he curl up and cry in his little sand hugbox when he battles Sasuke? And, let's face it, he's pretty messed up. The fic was cut short when he, because he wasn't insane and emo/goffick anymore.
 * He is now an awesome Kazekage not to atone for killing all those people, but for writing this.

Guy is Lee's father

 * They just look too similar and act too similar. Guy was either in an affair with Lee's mother, or Guy just forgot to tell him that he's his father. And it'd be funny.
 * Might Guy is only 11 years older then him... Wow, what a player :D
 * He doesn't look 25, especially considering he's a manga/anime character - a lot of fans ignore the manual and assume Not Bishonen = Over 40.

The Tsuchikage is Mr. Magoo's half-Japanese brother
I mean, just look at the guy! Give him a squint, a bowler hat, and green smoking jacket, and you'd have a mirror image of Mr. Magoo! In fact, I can imagine him walking around his office muttering to himself "Oh Magoo, you've done it again!" just before strolling out an open fifth-story window only to be rescued from plunging to a certain and grisly death by a conveniently-placed awning.
 * I thought he looked more like Asterix. Emperordaein

Killer Bee represents the Wu Tang Clan.
He raps when he fights and believes his music career will bring about a new era, which is exactly how the clan felt about their music. Furthermore, his name is obviously a reference to the clan as associates are known as Wu Tang killa bees.

One or more of the characters is a Time Lord.

 * I (not the original poster), don't watch Doctor Who, so which characters might be Time Lords and why?
 * Madara and Danzo are both Time Lords (or possibly the same Time Lord).

Naruto deliberately wears that bright orange jumpsuit.
He's reasonably able to take a beating, and intends to serve as a tank during team battles. The gaudy coloring helps to attract enemy attention away from people who can't take as much damage.
 * Maybe he started wearing it to get attention from the villagers, and couldn't stop because it was soo comfy.

The world of Naruto is in fact the future of Exalted.
The main connection which led me to this WMG is the simmilarities betwen the The Terrestrial Exalted and the clans who have a Kekkei Genkai, everithing we've seen fits in with the terrestials, I am theorising that something happened and there are no other exalted outside of the terrestrials, no species outside of men, and the border with the Wyld mostly stabilised all "normal" ninja are enlingtened mortals who call esence chakra.From what we've seen of the Uchiha they put a great semnificance on obtaining the sharinghan aka exalting taking the second breath receveing esence/powers above "normal" humans,receveing extra training and probably a great stigma if they didn't exalt but their kids still have a chance.The Hyugga with their divide between Main/Branch families miror dinastic obssesion for choosing mates so as to increase chances of exalting ie purer blood is stronger and in the begining Neji would have made a perfect agent for the The Sidereal Exalted, those chosen by the Five Maidens to oversee Fate itself.A few aditional notes Naruto posibly was forced to exalt as a Infernal Exalted, chosen by the Yozis( complicated but in really simple terms Demon-Chthulhu's) but without the demons control and Pain a returning Solar(champions of the Unconquered Sun) with some necromancy charms or the last Abyssal Exalted, (a.k.a. Deathknights) again with necromancy. Sasuke would have Fire Anima( elemental fire powers work most easily for him but he also masteres air/lightning) while Hinata would have Water/Air(?) but they both have Perfect Defences which would explain so much.
 * Also, the Juubi is either a behemoth or a Yozi. If it's a Yozi, the bijuu are clearly Demons of the Third Circle.
 * Based on the fact that it's human in form, it's either Malfeas or his defining soul. This makes all the tailed beasts Demons of the 3rd or 2nd. However, Infernal Exalts combine with 1st circle demons as a part of their exaltation, not 2nd or 3rd.
 * One big spanner in that whole thing is that the Wyld would've had to rewrite some of the laws of sorcery/necromancy, as no power in Exalted can bring anyone back to life. Unless they were all only mostly dead.

The real reason Naruto is so badass is not because of the Nine-Tailed Fox, it is due to Spiral Energy.
He's got a strong spiral motif, he never backs down, and he creates matter through shadow clones, he's friends with a drill obessed badass and he had a suspect relationship with a hotty. And "Who the hell do you think I am?!" is a better catch phrase then "Believe it!".
 * Considering how many dub voice actors they share... (Orochimaru/Leeron, Kiba/Kamina, Simoun/Sasuke, Viral/Zaku etc)
 * Not only that, they're EVIL SPIRALS
 * Things would've turned out better if Sasuke was mentored by Kiba, who's got the spinning and the pet.


 * Hey, maybe Naruto will learn the Spiral Energy Rasengan. Or maybe Gelel is Spiral Energy!


 * His strongest attack (Rasengan/Lazengan) shares it's name with Lordgenome's Mecha as well.

The entire series is one massive genjutsu.
It is only fitting considering how much Kishimoto loves to have things look unfixably bad only to go "lol, genjutsu". Naruto's final fight with Madara Uchiha will somehow help the Fourth Hokage to pull out of his illusion and defeat him at the original battle with the Nine-Tailed Fox. This is a happy ending because Naruto will get to grow up with two parents.
 * Adding on to this, Fugaku won't have reason to lead the Uchiha to rebellion - I'm sure Minato would set the elders straight. 'The culprit was an Uchiha; just one that was exiled by the clan a hundred years ago and presumed dead. Leave Fugaku and his hot wife out of it, mmkay?' So Sasuke would grow up happier, and so would Itachi.
 * And the one who caused it was Haruhi Suzumiya, who gained interested in Ninjas at one point.
 * ... You have no idea how rabid a plot bunny you just gave me. To Crossover hell!

Somehow, Hinata has two different dimensional counterparts.

 * Orihime and Mikuru. All three are shy and busty. Hinata and Orihime have a secret crush on the protagonist. Mikuru and Orihime are both clumsy redheads. Hinata and Mikuru are extremely reservered. Mikuru may also harbor interest for Kyon as well. Also, while Mikuru is "a walking shrine of Moe", Hinata and Orihime also show Moe traits. Is it even coincidental that they have the same voice in English?

Shikamaru planned everything. And I mean everything.
Shikamaru is controlling any conspirers hiding in the dark with his Shadow Possesion Technique. Even Batman.

Madara is a fan of Neon Genesis Evangelion
It would explain his batshit insanity, and why the Moon's Eye Plan is so suspiciously similar to Instrumentality.

Madara caused the events behind Uzumaki
As soon as I saw his mask, I immediately suspected this. Seriously, look at him! "Everything will become one with me", just as the whole of Kur Ã´zu-cho became one with the Spiral City. There is no escape, you fools!

Madara reads TV Tropes.
Particularly the Sure Why Not entry for Bleach, the Neon Genesis Evangelion page, the That's No Moon page, and this particular WMG page.

The Naruto world is this world's past.
Madara suceeds in his Moon eye plan, seals everyone's powers so they can't use nunjutsu and sinks the old world with the power which is today's Atlantis and all other destroyed high civilizations so that no one can accidently discover any artifact that would reawaken the powers because he knows that he's got a meeting with some other inter-planetary folks to fucking stay away from earth and thus can't hold the ninjutsu over this long time and space.

The Naruto world is this world's future.
The Moon is destroyed by nuclear war. The radiation from the destruction of The Moon rains down on The Earth and causes mutations, including Chakra and The Ten-Tailed Beast. Some modern technology survives (Computers, Radios, Holographs) but not all of it (Guns, Cars, ect.) The Sage of Six Paths was an incredibly powerful mutant who learned how to harness the new 'chakra' mutation and recreated the moon when he sealed away the Ten-Tails' body.

Cloud Village is the USA
They are the only racially diversified village; three of their ninja are named for English names of Latin letters, and their leader is black.
 * Only racially diverse village? Naruto is a blue eyed blonde(not a dye job unless it was done immediately after birth), as is Ino and Tsunade. The Leaf village isn't just an Asia analogue. Unless it's an Asia invaded by Vikings.

The Inuzuka Clan are descended from...
A clan of were-Dog or -Wolf Shifters from Eberron. Fleeing prosecution at the hands of the Church of the Silver Flame they accidently entered a manifest zone that lead to the Naruto world. As the blood became diluted they lost the ability to Shift but remembered subconciously about their animal link, which they copied by partnering with dogs/wolves and developing the Beast Mimicy and such.

Konoha is Communist
That would explain how both Sasuke and Naruto were able to survive without any family—the village provided for them. It also explains how nearly everybody's job is ninja.
 * I think that's the same with most villages - I can't imagine how many war orphans there must be. Wards of state?
 * Actually, it seems that ninja make up the same percentage of the population that join the military in a regular town. How could they have a fully functioning city if everyone was military?
 * Everyone isn't military—there's the guy who runs the ramen shop.
 * The Military has cooks.
 * Of course everyone isn't in the military. But we're not going to watch the people who aren't. This is a series about ninja, not random civilians who do stuff we don't care about. It'd be like turning on Dragonball Z only to have a seven episode series in the style of West Wing dealing with the elections for mayor in some random city somewhere that'll be blown up as collateral damage.
 * Although IMHO it's hard to not have a state run program for orphans in a modern state,plus Konoha has the reputation of being one of the softest villages,so it's not evidence that they're not filthy commies.

That ... statue thing the Akatsuki have is actually Adam, sealed into stone- it would also link with Maddie's goal of Instrumenta- I mean, the Moon's Eye plan.
They needed the Bijuu in order to set him free.

Zetsu is a Venus Flytrap Sage.
He's really strong! And he looks like a Venus Flytrap! There's no other possible Explanation!

Naruto will become Ninja Jesus.
He will die for the world's sins and take Madara, Sasuke, and all the Tailed Beasts with him. Oh, and Sakura will become Hokage.

Kisame came from the Bleach universe.
His Samehada is a Zanpakuto. His sword at normal is his Shikai. His sword with teeth is his Bankai. He has an ultimate form which he can activate by fusing himself and his sword. That sounds like a Resurreccion to me. Kisame is a freaking Vizard/Arrancar hybrid!
 * Kisame took the sword from the previous wielder-something that can not be done with a Zanpakuto. Samehada also chooses it's own master and feeds off their chakra, which is not how a Zanpakuto works. Also, it's semi-organic, which is also very unlikely for a Zanpakuto. On the other hand, this description fits a Bakkoto from Bleach's Captain Amagai saga.

The Raikage and Killer Bee are actually the Men in Black and Madara is an alien.
Think about it. The Raikage's name is A. His brother is Bee. One's a funky young black man with attitude, the other's a forged by hellfire Badass who's been around and Seen It All.

The reason we've never seen Madara's face is because his human costume is at the cleaners, so he wears a mask to disguise the fact that he's a bug, one of Edgar's brothers.

It makes perfect sense.

The Juubi is a Legendary Pokémon that is pissed off about not making it into the most recent generation of games.
Its presence in this world has warped Madara's mind, and now he has only one obsession...one horrid, unholy obsession...to Catch Them All.
 * Alternatively, they'll pull an Inuyasha and shatter the 'almost totally reassembled Juubi' into thousands of smaller demons and spend the next three seasons hunting down Jewel Shards Pokemon demons to defeat Naraku  Giovanni Madara and the Akatsuki, who are already undergoing serious villain decay anyway and will soon be little more than Team Rocket.

Kishimoto is a fan of the Wu-Tang Clan
The Raikage's name is Killer A, his brother is Killer B, and B raps. There's probably another sibling named Ghostface.

All of the Shippers are right.
Every. Single. One.
 * It's like the anti-Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies. Orgy Happens Everyone Wins?
 * Since when has there been a cargo ship in this series? Kakashi and his porn?
 * Temari + fan
 * Naruto + Ramen
 * Kankuro + puppets

The Susanno'o is a Robot
In reality Naruto takes place on a distant planet far in the future, one that uses technology to simulate ninja abilities. The Juubi is a rogue program that was in charge of making sure the world ran properly and decided the best way to do that was kill everything on it. Suusanno'o is a Robot, which is why it's so much stronger than other summons: They're just holograms.

Before the Sharingan was known as the Copy Wheel Eye, it was known as the 'Making this shit up as I go along' eye.
That's why it seems to spawn a new power every ten or so chapters. Not only that, but it's strongly implied by Madara that each eye has it's own unique set of powers, such as Shisui's Doryoku.
 * If Danzo had had a better idea of what he was doing, he could've trounced Sasuke and Madara and just about anyone else by unlocking the special abilities of every eye in his arm. That's like 15 unbelievably game breaking powers.
 * Wait, so you mean that the Sharingan could be called Calvinball?
 * And Danzo could've been playing with 15 different sets of rules.

There's no doubt about it...
If my above WMG about the Sage of Six Paths is correct, then about half of the cast are reincarnated characters from Gurren Lagann. It explains a lot about the characters, you know...

Shino is a high functioning autistic
Completing Team Kurenai's socially awkward trio. Think about it, he's very smart, but he has trouble interacting with other people, even his own teammates. He's always complaining about being left behind.
 * This troper is intrigued and would like to subscribe to your newsletter,but what would be the official diagnosis for Hinata's shyness and Kiba's being declared loud and annoying by Naruto off all people.
 * Hinata's shyness is a result of poor self-esteem due to her father constantly berating her. I don't know what's wrong with Kiba, though I can't say I'm not partial to one popular fan explanation.
 * This Troper is thinking ADHD for Kiba.
 * So Shino has Asperger's Syndrome? My only problem with this theory is that he doesn't really talk like someone with Asperger's/any other mild form of Autism. People on the Autism Spectrum, at the very best, tend to have halting speech patterns, usually with stuttering or lots of hesitation/random pauses. Their voices also tend to be a bit soupy. Shino's speech is very smooth and when he gets the chance, he tends to ramble to the point of Mr. Exposition.
 * Not everyone with Asperger's has a speech impediment. See: this troper, this troper's brother, this troper's other brother who had one as a child but got over it with speech therapy well before the age of 12.
 * And this troper has read somewhere that rambling on about specific subjects is actually one of the hallmarks of Asperger's/mild autism.

Sasuke is not capable of existing for longer than five minutes without being around someone obsessed with him
In Konoha, Sasuke had his fangirls, as well as Sakura and Naruto to varying degrees. Once he ditched them, he went to Orochimaru. After Orochimaru was gone he found Karin and Jugo. When he had to leave them back with Kisame, he was with Itachi and later Madara. Even though Jugo is MIA, Karin was still around when Madara took him to Danzo. And now that Sasuke is on the verge of getting rid of Karin, who should show up but an apparently reverted back to twelve Sakura? Not to mention Naruto's looking for them.
 * ... You're kidding, right? Sakura's acting, to get him to lower his guard. She's not even doing a very good job of it.
 * Maybe, maybe not. But even if she is, attacking her friends and knowingly throwing her life away - unless she's delusional or expecting a last-second miracle - to kill him definitely qualifies as obsessed.
 * Hah! She probably isn't acting, seeing as she already offered to betray the village for Sasuke...
 * You don't get it. She expects to die fighting him. It's supposed to be all dramatatic. And yes, she already offered to leave the village with him. Years ago, both plot wise and real time. She's undergone a little something called characted development since then. Going with Sasuke would be the same as Naruto demanding a date from her, and then yelling to the Sandime about how he'll become Hokage. All the characters have changed quite a lot from who they were pre-timeskip. ... of course then again given how badly parts of the manga have been written, I could be wrong. If I am it's just further proof that Kishimoto really is an awful writer, as opposed to a decent writer who occasionally suffers from bouts of sever mental retardation.
 * This is by far the most logical theory ever written!
 * So, what you're saying is, Sasuke is Duke Devlin?

Naruto will open a psycholigist office (AKA, a training center) at the end of the story.
Think about it. Almost everybody he's beat sense into while yelling at has become a better person, right? Then he'll figure out a way to make money when doing so, and open a psych care facility.

The orginal working title for the series was "The Tale of Uzumaki Naruto."
Either Shuisha executives or Kishimoto's editor ordered the title shortened to "Naruto," because they didn't think a long title for the series was good marketing. This would explain the NOT Title Drop as Jiraiya was dying, calling "The Tale of Uzumaki Naruto," the sequal to "The Tale of Jiraiya the Gallant."

Kishimoto and Tite Kubo have been peer reviewing each other's work prior to publication.
Because Naruto and BLEACH have too much in common to write it off as a coincidence.
 * This really needs more clarification. Aside from being combat-heavy Shonen manga having blond, Hot-Blooded protagonists with similar hairstyles, neither series much resembles the other. Ichigo is a Chaste Hero with a family and Bleach has No Hugging, No Kissing firmly in place, while Naruto's (the character) sole source of angst is unrequited love and family issues and Naruto (the series) is defined, in many ways, by the relationships characters have.

If/When Madara's plan succeeds, the next issue will be a highschool Manga as a nod to all the fanfiction with that setting.
It'll take Naruto at least an issue or two before he figures out something isnt right.
 * Which could also double as confirming the last WMG, seeing as the Konoha High School clips used in the anime's ending theme was basically BLEACH scenes with Naruto characters.

Yo. This would be my TTGL related guesses, gathered in one place.
CONCERNING THE SAGE OF SIX PATHS

In fact, he was THE GREAT KAMINA-SAMA!, shortly after his demise in his own dimension.

From what we know, Spiral Power can A.) create things, B.) let people do impossible stuff, and C.) allow creatures to rapidly evolve.

So Kamina dies on his homeworld. Then his spirit manages it make it to a different universe, where it uses Spiral Power to construct a new body to inhabit. He then realizes that his eyes have chaned, due to his sudden use of a lot of Spiral Power, and gives it a badass sounding name. After about a year of wandering and realizing that he could use superpowers all of a sudden, he gets it in his head to teach other people how to do the same.

The six paths are actually the five elemental styles and "the wandering spiral path". Thus, there must be a number of hidden techniques that make the impossible possible, creates a number of artifical bodies, and runs on hot blood...

Several names spring to mind...

CONCERNING THE JYUUBI

The Jyuubi already existed on the Naruto world, but was... possessed by an otherworldy entity approx. seven years after the sage appeared

Yes, the Jyuubi was possesed by the Anti-Spiral, forming a composite being, with the Jyuubi's mind and body, and some of the remaining Anti-Spiral thoughts.

Furthermore, if we accept both the above WMG about Jyuubi possessing Madara and the WMG on the TTGL page about the Anti-Spiral being the result of Instrumentality, then the 'Moon's-Eye-Plan' makes a lot more sense...

CONCERNING THE HYUUGA

I just thought of this, so I decided to add it; Hyuuga are decended from another spiral who arrived in the Naruto world after his death.

One with dark blue hair. And a wife that, presumably, followed the Anti-Spiral in demise.

Yes, that one.

CONCERNING MADARA

When Madara completes the Moon's-Eye-Plot... He'll pull off an Anti-Spiral and trap everyone in anternate universe in their heads, leaving only himself outside. You should see where this is going...

Naruto mugged Wedge Antillies.
Where else would he get a snazzy orange jumpsuit?


 * He could have taken it from Biggs Darklighter...

The Raikage and Killer Bee don't have a father.
Instead, they were born from a breach in the time-space continuum that happened when Chuck Norris slightly brushed Mr. T's mohawk with his roundhouse kick.

Got the idea from a guy in Deviantart. Just changed "beard" with "mohawk".


 * Nah, they're clones of someone else. Someone named 'Lordgenome'. Think about it- he beat up the mecha that Simon was piloting with his bare hands. The Raikage beat up Susano'o (which Sasuke was using) with his bare hands. Both of them basically said "I don't care" about big wounds that they got. It's the only explaination.
 * You mean Lordgenome's the one who was made from the breach in the time-space continuum that happened when Chuck Norris slightly brushed Mr. T's mohawk with his roundhouse kick?
 * Probably. How else do you explain his badassitude?

Naruto is actually a Dating Sim.
One in which the main character has made most of the right moves so far, and is approaching the endgame.

Let's see just he's managed to do, concerning romantic interests.

1:) Though it took just being himself, he got the Ojou to fall for him.

2:) He got his originally intended love interest to reluctantly fall in love with him, in basically the same way.

3:) We can guess that Karin has said 'screw this' about going after anyone that overtly evil, and we know she commented noticed that Naruto is "the exact opposite of Sasuke". I'd think that anyone who just got stabbed by their last romantic target would probably make their next one as far from that as possible. Do the math.

4:) How many filler girls has naruto made an extremely good impression on?

So, you see where this is going, no? It's almost like Kishimoto is pulling a reverse Negima gambit.
 * Does that make Sasuke the Yandere Gay Option?
 * Nope. He's the Rival Turned Evil. The Gay Option is probably Sai.
 * I always wondered if the story would make more sense as a video game than a manga/anime. Mind you, I had an RPG in the image of Kingdom Hearts in mind, rather than a dating sim, but this idea makes sense. In fact, rewriting the story to fit an RPG with dating sim aspects could be a way to extend the life of the series and resolve the Shipping issues. Don't like the way Kishimoto chose the pairings? Just make some different decisions and watch the Alternate Ending.

Addendum: In fact, it's a Dating Sim with three versions- Ramen, Clouds, and Fan. The evidence that the people playing the first two are doing stuff right is visible, as is the evidence that the guy playing the third is... not.
 * Who is Clouds version?
 * Shikamaru, he likes to stare at clouds.

Naruto is going to create a much more effective version of the Rasengan for use against Sasuke and Madara...
One that allows him to turn his foes' attacks against them. It kinda struck me that he has absolutely no way of countering the Ameterasu, so why not?

The name of this super Rasengan?
 * The name will actually be Rasen Shrunken.
 * ... No. Fire > Wind, so it won't work against Ameterasu.

.


 * ^... Awesomeness. Do Want.

Everyone in the Narutoverse is a Zetsu Clone.
It's been shown that, one of the Akatsuki members Zetsu, can create perfect clones of anyone and even copy their scent and Chakara manipulation (Though it is slightly weaker than the actual person's chakara) so Zetsu after being bored with nothing to do and wanted to cause some chaos for the Lulz decided that he will eat eveyone the creat perfect replicas so he could watch them fight For the Lulz.
 * I'll tell you how I think it started. Zetsu was assigned a mission to kill, say, the Mizukage and impersonate him in order to get info on the Mist country. After he's done that, another Zetsu clone got a similar mission: he was supposed to kill and then impersonate the Raikage! By now, Zetsu is the imposter of every single person in the entire show, but since he's such a perfect clone of them, other Zetsu's don't know which people are real and which are imposters! So they don't fight each other for the evulz but because they don't want to throw away the cover-up! Zetsu has unknowingly taken over the world!

Naruto takes place in an alternate Mage and entire plot is one huge game of Xanatos Speed Chess between the Exarchs and the Oracles
Instead of building the Watchtowers like in canon Mage, the Oracles built a "bridge" across the Abyss, thus altering the structure of the fallen world to be more like the Supernal. This is why Jutsu work.

For the plot itself, the Exarchs are mainly represented by The General. The General's Modus Operandi is to use warfare as a way to sap humanity's resources and keep them from touching the Supernal. He's been encouraging dissent and conflict among the nations and Ninja villages for years. The other Exarchs are relatively minor, either working with the General or running unrelated plots offscreen.

It begins with the Bloodline limits. People with bloodline limits are actually Proximai, people touched by Supernal power. The General, along with a few allied Exarchs, stirred up prejudice against Bloodline limits to exterminate any links to the Supernal. The Oracles' counter-move is to push Kohona into embracing Bloodline limits, bringing it to a position of power within the Ninja World.

The Oracles' next move is backing the Third Hokage. The third Hokage has a great deal of personal power, is extremely competent, and is a peace-loving man. The Hokage's personal power and efforts for peace make him an extremely big target for the General. Despite The General's efforts, the Third Remains in power. Orochimaru was something the General took advantage of, pushing him into villain hood as a side-plot to instigate conflict close to the Third. The General starts getting desperate when Minato becomes the Hokage. If he was in contact with the Professor, he probably shared at least some of his peaceful ideals. And if Minato had half of Naruto's charisma, he had a very good chance to get people to agree with him.

So the General pushes Madara Uchiha into throwing the Kyuubi at Kohona and lets Minato kill himself sealing the thing. He then makes several moves at once, simultaneously working on pushing the Uchiha clan into making a coup while manipulating Danzo into becoming the Third's enemy, planting the whole "The third is a Peace-loving fool" concept in his head in the process. The Uchiha plot short circuts thanks to Itachi and Danzo, but the General salvages Sauske from it as a useful, mentally-dysfunctional pawn. Incidentally, the General's the reason why Sauske has such strong Plot Armor. Sauske's just too valuable a pawn to lose.

The Oracles make some subtle manipulations to groom Naruto as their next champion. Massive personal power, a strong idealist, and huge reserves of determination, kindness, and charisma. They even get him to graduate with the Rookie nine so he'll forge bonds with ninja very likely to become extraordinary in the future. The General lobs Sauske at Naruto in hopes of fouling up any future plans by having Naruto become personally connected to Sauske. The General's next plot is literally Orochimaru's, subtly assisting the snake-nin in subverting Suna, marking Sauske, and Killing the Third. The death and destruction of the invasion was just a bonus. The Oracles take the opportunity to get Garra and Naruto to become friends, thus landing the Sand Jinnurichi in their corner.

The Oracles lob Naruto at Tsuande in order to stall Danzo. At the same time, the Oracles are backing Atsutki. The Oracles "hijacked" Madara into aiming for Instrumentality because it would result in a great Awakening, thus destroying the Abyss and severely weakening the Exarch's hold over reality. The Oracles being god-like beings, undoing instrumentality is entirely possible for them. At the same time, after the time skip Naruto is becoming increasingly powerful and popular, despite Danzo. If he survives, he might very well become Hokage, or exert great political influence in another manner. This is the Oracles's Xanatos gambit. By pitting Atsutki and Naruto against one another, the General is stuck with three very difficult options. One is to stop the war (not going to happen), one is to ensure mutual destruction (very difficult to pull off, especially with the Oracles meddling around), and the other is to simply kill Naruto and kill the Kyuubi with him. The General's currently going after the "kill Naruto" option as best he can, using with the side plot of destroying Kohona in hopes of keeping Naruto from obtaining political power by simply destroying his "nation", sort of like a reverse assassination.

Killer Bee's is actually Tarzan
I know, there's evidence that Tarzan was black, or a ninja, but the evidence speaks for itself.

Kabutimaru's Sixth Coffin Contains The Joker.
He said to Madara, "Do you know who I am?" and Madara said, "You're a Madman."
 * More likely that it is Deadpool

The canon story is secretly a fanfiction of Team 8
It was written from the perspective "what if Kurenai hadn't selectively chosen Naruto for Team 8?" and deals with all the ramifications that would have.

Kakashi is Willy Wonka
Demonstrated here.

[WMG: Rock Lee and Tenten will get married, and their daughter will be Chun Lee.]]
 * Think about it. Amazing martial artist who focuses on close combat (especially kicks), and has Meatball Hair. If she lacks the messed-up chakra paths that Lee has, it explains why she can do an energy attack (Can she? I don't remember...).
 * What the hell is with all these shipping WMGs? This is a series about guys going around stabbing each other with lightning knives, setting each other on fire and punching each other in the face, not some sappy love story.
 * It's called "wild mass guessing" for a reason. Chill out.
 * Her name is "Chun Li", not Lee, but she does look quite a bit like Tenten.

Minato is an RPG character played by a hard-core gamer.
Think about it, Minato isn't just a Badass Normal, he's the kind of Badass Normal that you see in a Self-Imposed Challenge in RPGs- no biju, no kekkei genkai, no Sage Mode, no Inner Gates, and able to go toe-to-toe with the Big Bad. He has no powerups; he's just insanely skilled and smart.


 * Actually,Minato Namikaze is Minato Arisato from Persona 3,it's the only possible explanation,after all they both can seal Eldritch Abonminations.

The
...are descendants of Yukari Yakumo. Just speculation after the uber recent (as of 7/15/10) chapter 502. Just think about it:


 * Blonde hair.
 * The eyes can be considered a sub-effect of Yukari's gap manipulation; she's depicted with both gold and purple eyes, along with red and blue on occasion.
 * Who else would be the best to seal a Kyuubi then the descendants of a Youkai who had one as a servant?
 * Yukari, at least fanon-wise, is said to be responsible for sealing Ex Rumia within her ribbon; this would explain the sealing skills Minato is commonly said to be a master of.
 * The settings of both Touhou and Naruto are both similarily anachronistic yet at the same time fairly oriental in depiction.
 * Naruto's trickster nature, often attributed to the Kyuubi's influence, can also be pointed towards family; namely, Yukari's tendency to mess around with people for fun. (Dammit, Naruto/Yukari!)
 * The jutsu Minato used in chapter 502 to had an odd similarity to one of Yukari's gaps, and his Teleport Spam use of Hiraishin is quite similar to Yukari's most commonly portrayed use of her main, utilitarian gaps. (Minato only being able to teleport all of him, and at that only with a declaration of a Jutsu, may be an example of the Sukima Youkai blood thinning out as the lineage becomes more human.)
 * Of course, since Minato's main specialty seems to be turning out to be (if Shikaku and Chouza identifying him by the type of jutsu used and that alone is any indication) and his favoritism to his custom Hiraishin kunai, the Namikaze's might well be a descendant line of Izayoi Sakuya instead; in this case, the point about their eye colors is shared and it has the added point of the similarity of Naruto's Kage Bunshin spam and Sakuya's infinite knife barrage. In fact, Naruto's 'Kunai from All Directions' even vaguely resembles 'Buriallusion: Phantasmic Killer' from Scarlet Weather Rhapsody.

Of course, this being Touhou, the number of comparisons we could make would probably be really, really freaking high. (Sakura/Tsunade can be compared to Suika pretty easy, since the medics' super strength technique is a manipulation of chakra density, in effect. Along with the Tsurupettan jokes for Sakura.)

Kurenai doesn't wear clothes; she wears only a genjutsu.
I got this idea off a fanfic. Considering the utter lack of normal people in the shinobi corps, it wouldn't be too surprising.
 * Link please. We must examine the evidence!
 * The title is "An Anthropological Study of the Hyuuga," but Kurenai doesn't actually appear in the story. It's just a reference Hiashi makes when he realizes Hinata is hiding something and briefly wonders if she might have taken after her mentor and started wearing nothing but a genjutsu.
 * Awwwww....

The Hyuga Clan always wins eating contests.
This is from the Omake where Hinata won a ramen eating contest by a clear 15 bowls (46) ahead of Yamato (31). Basically, chakra = energy. Food gives people energy, so therefore, replenishes chakra. When in an eating contest, any member of the Hyuga clan would be constantly venting their chakra as they ate, so they don't become full until they've eaten more than any other competitior.
 * Aside from the fact that this ignores basic biology, it's a safe bet that food doesn't become immediately vaporized to replenish chakra once it's ingested...

The last person that is...
Enough said.
 * That would imply that Jesus was dead.

By the end of the series... Everybody Has Lots of Sex will be implied.
Kids inherting the Will of Fire, from their parents. That kinda thing.
 * I believe the correct trope to file that under is Babies Ever After. Everybody Has Lots of Sex means promiscuity. Having the survivors pair off and have a bunch of kids is Babies Ever After.

Itachi's eyes will force Sasuke to wear glasses.
Which in turn force him to use range attacks, like a bow and bright blue arrows.... Hmmm... Ishida?!

OR... Everything never happened. Saskue is in a coma and this is all one huge hallucination after an accident while still a young child.
Exactly as it says. There were no ninjas. There was no Uchiha massacre. There was no curse mark. Sasuke is still about 7, and is hallucinating all of this. Perhaps he got into something he wasn't supposed to...

I mean, after all, doing the math, Itachi should have been F***ing 12 years old when he supposedly killed his clan. Flashbacks show that he was nowhere near 12 looking in his appearance. Not to mention, that I would doubt that a 12 year old child, prodigy or no, would be able to do something of that magnitude.

That being said, perhaps each and everyone represents a certain aspect Saskue remembers or longs for.

I'll leave it up to you to decide what.
 * Madara helped Itachi with the massacre, Itachi had the Mangekyou, while the others did not, it was in the night and in the Uchiha mansion, so they were less on guard. Itachi had the element of surprise, an extra power-up and the support of Madara. So it is possible that Itachi (and Madara) killed the clan.
 * It's still a manpower problem. If the Uchiha were large enough to make up almost the entirety of the Military Police, as has been implied, two people simply couldn't move fast enough to kill them all, especially since at least some of those police had to be outside of the Uchiha complex. For that matter, wouldn't there have been Uchiha on missions?
 * Remember, the massacre happened on the night when ALL the Uchiha had already called back to begin the coup. Also, considering that Minato's space time jutsu was capable of taking out at least 50 ninjas at the blink of an eye, it's not improbable that Madara's superior version, combined with Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan, would be able to quickly wipe out a huge portion of the Uchiha before the rest could even begin to figure out what was happening.

Kabutomaru's last coffin doesn't contain anyone.
It exists only so Kishimoto can pull a random character out of the 'dead' heap if he writes himself into a corner.

Iruka is the Most Awesome of Them All. He kills Madara.
Name me another character who has SONAR as a signature ability, can cast two field illusions on OPPOSITE SIDES OF KONOHA at the SAME TIME, and whose nemesis/ "best friend" turns into a TIGER. Also, he's a Tsundere and is possibly in love with one of the most badass characters in the series. His limited screen time is just a ploy to throw Madara off his tail. He's basically what Naruto would have turned out to be if he didn't have the Kyuubi sealed inside him. So here's the final fight: Madara kicks the crap out of half of the main cast, then suddenly dramatic music plays AND HIS HEAD IS KICKED OFF BY THE ANGRIEST TEACHER EVER. You know it's true. Dolphin-boy is the real hero of this story.

The Sage of Six Paths is one of the reincarnations of The Dragon
Why? Well, lets see, he's an incredibly powerful person with special abilities who seals the ultimate evil, but not without a high cost and is implied to have mostly destroyed the world in the process.
 * Maybe the Naruto world is the fifth or sixth age? I do not think it could be the first because that is implied to be our own time, and the seventh age just does not seem right for the Naruto world.

Kakashi is in love with Sasuke
Kakashi is already known to have anally raped Naruto, spent extended time drawing all over a half-naked Sasuke's back, doesn't seem to have any interest in women, or indeed anyone except Obito and Sasuke... He considered Sasuke the representation of Obito (despite the fact that Naruto is the one who parallels Obito, but Kakashi doesn't see that), and wants to show Sasuke the right path. When he fails, he feels like he's lost Sasuke in such a way that it's the same to him as Sasuke dying. And this is where he gets his Mangekyo Sharingan from, because to him the loss of Sasuke was as profoundly mentally horrible (or worse) as him actually dying. And Sasuke with Itachi has alreayd proved that it has to be someone close to you, not neccesarily your closest friend.

Sasuke will kill Naruto, spend two whole episodes angsting, and then be congratulated for it.
Also, the true purpose of the Moon's Eye Plan isn't so Madara can control the world, but rather, he wants to be reunited with his deceased lover, whom Zetsu is a clone of.

Naruto is deeply thematically linked with Star Trek.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
 * Think about it! Naruto and his two surrogate fathers, Iruka and Kakashi, are, respectively, The Kirk, The McCoy, and The Spock.
 * Naruto rushes headlong into danger, his greatest strengths are boldness and altruism, and he doesn't believe in the no-win scenario. Also, he's a Launcher of a Thousand Ships.
 * Kakashi shows his emotions much more openly than the Vulcan does, but he's still highly intelligent, deeply loyal, incredibly efficient, extremely logical, and living under the shadow of his heritage.
 * Iruka is basically the embodiment of emotional courage and heart. He has a crazy temper, he's less combat-oriented than the other two (yet he's smarter than The Kirk and able to keep pace with Kakashi to an extent), and in his second appearance with Kakashi, stands up to him and basically calls him out for being heartless-in front of the Hokage. That is some McCoy-level balls right there.
 * Kakashi/Iruka and Spock & McCoy are the second most popular slash pairings in their respective fandoms (involving lead characters. I AM DISREGARDING CHEKOV/SULU HERE FOR THE SAKE OF MY WMG), and they don't get "are they or aren't they" debated nearly as much as their more popular counterparts, Spock/Kirk and Naruto/Sasuke (incidentally, another pairing between a Kirk and a Spock (although Sasuke is motivated by RAGE rather than logic)).
 * Sakura and Uhura are both highly intelligent, competent women who don't get many chances to outshine the guys.
 * Both series involve massively powerful Horrors (the Tailed Beasts and the Borg), explosions, plot developments pulled out the ass, a dedicated yet divided fanbase often scorned among "serious" SF or anime fans, puppets, scaly beasts, and huge amounts of Phlebotinum.
 * Half the fans love each series for the action and half for the characters.
 * The internet contains EXTREMELY MASSIVE amounts of fanworks about them (of quality ranging from stellar to eye-bleedingly crappy)
 * Both have both male- and female-oriented Fan Service.
 * Both have incredibly detailed cosmologies/settings and more trivia than you can shake a lirpa at.
 * Rock Lee can do zat.

At some point, Kurotsuchi will be promoted to the rank of captain.
All for the sake of a "Captain Kurotsuchi" joke.

Root was named for Danzo's true goal...
...Superuser access.

Some WMGs about Kakashi and Iruka.
1. Kishi will Ass Pull two random love interests (completely new characters) for them in the last chapter of the series, thus successfully alienating a large portion of his previously non-alienated fans. He will then laugh maniacally and drink in the disappointment like the sweetest champagne.
 * The anime team will say "Balls that! We didn't accentuate the Ho Yay and Ship Tease -ery between these two for years just to face THIS!" They will get them together in the anime and both shippers and nonshippers will have a version to fall back on. (See above WMG concerning the resolution of Narutox Sakura versus Narutox Hinata in this manner.)
 * Have you forgotten about Anko? Assuming she lives, she could get together with one of them. Of course, considering how crazy and sadistic Anko is, Hillarity Ensues. We also have Kurenai and Shizune.

2. They have feelings for each other but will never be together due to the untimely death of one or both. Another favorite device of Kishi's.

3. They've been together since early in the series, but Kishi wants to pull a big reveal. Perhaps this will be established through a Bedmate Reveal, hopefully scarring Naruto for life. Because freaked-out Naruto is just hilarious.

4. It's going to happen any day now. Yep. Aaaaaannny day now.

5. Kishi will leave it open-ended, probably through a blatant Ship Tease in the last chapter. Thus frustrating everyone with an opinion but alienating few. (Kishi not alienating fans? NEVER!)

6. They will be the ONLY pairing that gets resolved at the end of the series. Cue Kishi's maniacal Evil Laugh and the screams of anguished fangirls.


 * Uh, where is there even a hint that they actually know each other as more than a polite nod when passing each other in the market? I can't think of any shared page time.
 * WATCH. THE. ANIME. My God, I'm so tired of telling people this. In the anime, they're canonically friends. LET'S ALL REALIZE THAT AND MOVE ON FROM THIS QUESTION. SERIOUSLY.
 * Jeeze, chill out. I've never seen anything about this anywhere. I read the Manga and only watch the Anime infrequently, and of the parts of it I've seen, Iruka has never shown up. Ever. If this is all happening in Anime Filler isn't it non-canon anyway? Besides, if you have to explain this to everyone, it's possible you're reading too much into what you see.

The series is actually a game called 'Madara says'

 * Anyone familiar with the game knows that when someone says " says", the next statement after that is a lie. For example, Madara 'says' to Sasuke during the whole "Turns out Itachi was good" reveal that the nine-tails' attack on Konoha was a 'force of nature'. EVERONE ELSE says it's him. Madara 'says' that he gave Nagato the Rin'negan. Nagato himself and Jiraiya can back up the fact that he's had the Rin'negan since birth. Madara 'says' he aims to bring world peace by a secret genjutsu, then he destroys his own plan by letting everone know about it anyway.

The spirit worm thingies that Tayuya's puppets puke out are related to the Chain of Fate.
Specifically, the Demonic Haunts Disorder technique and a COF going through Encroachment, respectively. Compare to.

The clan Kurenai Yuhi comes from are actually Angels.
Because having crimson eyes without being tied to the Spotlight Stealing Uchiha Clan is fucking suspicious enough. And because WMG isn't wild enough.

Naruto is Stupid Good because his brain is full.
Naruto's head contains or has contained; himself, the Kyuubi, Minato's chakra, Kushina's chakra and Itachi's undisclosed power. How can you expect him to be very intelligent when a lot of his brainpower is given over to the others that are sharing his head?

The actual Big Bad of Naruto is Ten-Ten
Think about it, we don't see her much. She may have strong jutsus we aren't even aware of! And she have every reason to hate ninja world. No one will suspect her of being an enemy. Poor girl.

Gaara supports ShikaTema.
Or at least recognizes Shikamaru as a Badass Bookworm, since he

EVERYONE, not just shinobi, can run through the trees at superhuman (to us) speed.
This would explain the mostly up-to-date technology and presence of some internal-combustion engines, but general lack of cars and other land vehicles. More logically, maybe they just don't have the oil that's refined into gasoline. Or enough of it to make the invention and production of cars and such practical.
 * This is exactly how human flight works in Dragon Ball, a skill anyone can learn, and it's well-known that that series was a major influence on Kishimoto.
 * The Fridge Logic to that is, they DO have the capacity to generate electricity, and electric vehicles may have limited range, but it's still wider than draft animals.

Neji ditched the kevlar armor before the start of Part II because it's summer, whereas Part I took place over the winter.
Kevlar is very heavy, and by design, it doesn't allow air through. Wearing it in summer is brutally hot, raising your personal heat index about 20 degrees. So unless he wanted to be drinking copious amounts of water while on missions, he'd leave the kevlar at home during the summer.
 * I think Kiba was the one who wore "kevlar" under his coat, as you can see late in the Sakon and Ukon fight.
 * Based on the references made by Naruto and Sakura, we can surmise that the Pain Invasion Arc takes place some time between October 10 and early December, because Naruto's 16th birthday has already passed, and it's still autumn a few days later. This places the start of Part II around March, assuming that the six months reference concerning the time between the start of Part II and Orochimaru's attempt to take Sasuke's body is accurate (where did that time go, anyway?).

The Naruto Universe is a video game, and the sharingan is a Game Shark.
Think about it. It's the ultimate cheat.

Coyote is the Ten-tails/Madara
Coyote can possess anything with eyes and he said he was the moon once and Naruto used Therapy Jutsu on him that's why he is no longer evil.
 * GC is thus the future of Naruto.

Sai is Sasuke's Nobody, Sasuke is Sai's Heartless.
Think about it. Sasuke is driven entirely by emotion and revenge, and after his  we all know he's been corrupted by the darkness. Sai was intended to be Sasuke's replacement and has absolutely no emotion whatsoever. You do the math.
 * ...This actually makes sense with the revelation in Kingdom Hearts 3D that

Hizashi is a Nazi.
Why else would he have a swatsika on his head?
 * So, by your logic, every Buddhist is a Nazi?

Hidan is a parody of the other character's tragic pasts.
A LOT of characters in Naruto have sad, betrayal-filled backstories, especially in the Akatsuki. Kisame became disillusioned with his village Itachi was  Pain and Konan had a Trauma Conga Line,Kakuzu was sent on an intentionally impossible mission and then imprisoned for failing it, etc. Hidan's Freudian Excuse? His Hidden Village became a hot springs resort, denying him his license to kill.

Hidan is the alternate universe equivilant of Fred Phelps
Think about it.
 * Hidan, and Fred Phelps, are by extension fusions of Fred from Scooby Doo and Olympic stoner swimmer Michael Phelps, just with different attributes highlighted.

Tenten's real name is Ten (first name) Ten (last name). Ten Ten.
Because.

On a similar note, Itachi Uchiha isn't his real name.
Itachi means Weasel, right? And the ANBU are referred to by the names of the animals on their masks. Itachi is ex-ANBU. What if Weasel was just his code name?

Naruto defeats Sasuke and Madara by summoning hypnotoad
Or Naruto learns how to use hypnotoads eye powers in his sage mode which are obviously superior to the sharingan.

The entire series is happening, but every character is controlled in a giant game of Shogi by either Shikamaru or Kabuto.

 * They put themselves in the game and for fairness' sake allow themselves to lose every now and then. Also, it's not all "heroes = Shikamaru, villains = Kabuto", they have a mixed bag. Aoba and Hiruzen is on Kabuto's team, and Zabuza and Konan are on Shikamaru's team, for example.
 * No, I wasn't thinking of Yu-Gi-Oh!'s memory world or Animorphs at the time. But now that I am, Sasuke is Kabuto's version of the Drode.
 * At the end of it all, Tobi lays down a phat dubstep beat while Kabuto and Shikamaru end their universal game with a breakdance battle between Sasuke and Naruto respectively. Shikamaru controls naruto's pop/locks with shadow possession, while Kabuto uses Edo Tensei to turn Sasuke's krumpin into a full on People Puppets impossible feat.

Kisame and Suikazan are respectively bull shark and pufferfish Fishmen.

 * I just couldn't resist.

Sharingan Is A Form Of Geass

 * Read chapter 408 and tell me it's not. That's exactly how Geass works other than Sasuke giving the command after geassing the guy!

Naruto learns a jutsu that can forcibly change people's gender
Well Naruto started out with useless, pervy jutsus so this would be a pretty big advancement. He uses it on Sasuke to turn him into a girl or a hermaphrodite, which would really mess up Sasuke for life.
 * Or someone could Summmon Emporio Ivankov to do it.

Kakashi summons the rapping dog from the Legend of the Titanic
With such an insanely powerfull summon which can force people to run straight towards the nearest glacier, he would be unbeatable. WE already know that sound-based genjutsu is extremely hard to avoid anyways.

Naruto learns a jutsu that lets him knock up girls with just a seal
Seeing as the Uzumaki are great at seals and they are closely related to the Senju who can manipluate life, it could help out. It's how he manages to repopulate the Uzumaki clan. Also that is how he can fulfill his promise to that Priestess Shion. A promise is a promise.
 * So he's Darth Plaguis the Wise now?
 * Maybe he is.

The Naruto and Bleach universes are the same.
They're both illusions brought on by their respective 'Final Bosses'. Once Madara's plan succeeds, it actually releases Kyouka Suigetsu, revealing that it's Soul Society or Hueco Mundo. After Aizen eventually dies, it'll be shown that this is brought in from Aizen's currently unknown Bankai, that makes his illusions reality. Think about it.

Naruto wins by being the first to use guns
That way it'll end the era of ninjas and make them obsolete.

Naruto will win peace through rapping skills.
Because who wants to hear a speech when you could rap instead

Naruto will learn a seal that turns people into clones of him
So it's like Agent Smith in the Matrix and then fighting clones will be harder because they won't just disperse after taking one hit. Heck it might be somehow related to how Zetsu creates clones.

Guns

 * What would happen if guns were introduced to Naruto? A ninja couldn't dodge the bullets so couldn't an army of civilians just wipe Akatsuki off the map with all of them armed with hunting rifles?
 * Yup. Word of god agrees with you there pretty much. I can't remember the exact quote though.
 * Doesn't stop one of the Pain bodies from being a cyborg puppet thing that basically fires bazooka shells at people.
 * Kishimoto was discussing weaponry in Naruto and I think the actual meaning behind the quote is that Ninja weaponry would be obsolete if firearms were introduced. That's why he's not having guns in the story.
 * That's...make...absolutely... no sense. At all. I mean, how... what... WHY? Okay, lets forget that many jutsus posses far more destructive capabilities than even modern heavy weaponry can deliver, which would make the "treath" of weapons laughalable. Why would you believe that bullets would hurt them in the first place? I mean, you can't change their endurance by putting them in a Real Life situation and make them act like your run-of-the-mill Vanilla mortal. Bullets force (Kinetic Energy per mass) is absurdingly low compared to the normal damage a Ninja battle inflict in the combatants (Sasuke Vs Naruto Valley of the End for example) by Taijitsu alone, not to mention Ninjitsu and Kinjitsu. Why is the belief that guns are omnipotent killing weapons. Then you take velocity, Do you really believe that a normal (well trained) civilian would be capable of so much as scratch the shadow of a Ninja before he is hundreds of meters away (or an inch of his face), let alone hit them?. And yes, A ninja could evade a bullet. They had shown to face things far faster (like lighting/Shunshin) without fuss. Then you must take in consideration subterfuge or silent Killing, if you want to go archaic. I mean, your "group" of civilians couldn't so much as blink before a single member of Akatsuki reap them to Kingdom Come. To be honest I don't see how bullets (unless they where Magical/Chakra type with beyon good gunslingers behind them, and even then) could change the power blocks of Naruto in significative way, less alone bring the extinction of the Ninja breed. Its just too silly.
 * It's not that guns are automatically better than the ninja techniques, it's that they would replace them. ALL those abilities and skills that the ninja learn that would make them easily able to beat anyone with a gun? It takes time to learn those things, and effort. Guns however can be figured out within minutes. If guns where introduced to the world, nobody would have any incentive to learn all the destructive techniques because they could just use guns.
 * Alternate take: the ninjas would stop being ninjas and start being superpowered Gunslingers.
 * Which would be awesome. Expanding on the above, not only would people not bother to learn Super Awesome Mega no Jutsu, but governments would be able to make a few dozen guns in what? A day? Whereas making a few dozen ninjas takes no less than 14 years. Add in the expense of maintaining entire villages full of people who are known to go on mass killing sprees at the drop of a hat, and the only way to keep them in line is to glare sternly at them, and you've got a perfect reason to choose easily mass-produced, cheap weapons that anyone can use with minor training.

Madara Uchiha isn't what he claims to be. He isn't Tobi, Obito, or Danzo either.In truth, he is actually...
A moose in disguise, more specifically... you know that moose from Invader Zim... the one in that empty white void? Well, it escaped that room and is now bringing its unholy wrath upon the Naruto universe. God only knows if Naruto will be able to stop him.
 * A Møøse once bit my sister.

The Icha-Icha books are Bigger on the Inside
Kakashi has been reading them at least since testing Team 7 on the Third Training Ground. There are a total of three books, all of which are quite slim (and small enough to tuck into a hip-pouch). Even counting the "deluxe editions", that's not enough reading matter for two months, let alone five years—and Kakashi reads them everywhere. Now, this is the genius who graduated at age 5; however slowly he reads the things, by now he must have read them thousands of times. Basically, urgh. Unless, UNLESS the books are a lot longer than they seem: the inside of each one is its own dimension, so they become doorstoppers to rival the works of Tolkien. They are, in essence, miniature, smut-filled, perv-created literary TARDISes.
 * There are actually five books, Make Out Paradise, Make Out Paradise 2, Make Out Paradise 3, Make Out Violence and Make Out Tactics. But yeah, they have to be bigger.
 * Did you ever find yourself re-reading books you enjoyed? I've read Harry Potter so many times I lost count. What makes you think the same can't be true here?

Naruto's Sora, Sasuke's Riku, and Sakura's Kairi
Naruto's so constantly busy trying to get Sasuke out the darkness, but he fails to do so on several occasions. Sakura has not done anything in the entire series and always relying on Naruto in the second part, but Sasuke doesn't like neither of them at this point, always delving deep into the darkness.
 * I wonder who Kakashi will be?
 * Mickey Mouse.
 * Given how badass King Mickey is, I'd Jaraiya would be Mickey. I think Kakashi would be Aqua.

Naruto's self-inflicted damage while in the Kyuubi state is similar to damage due to increasing core temperature.
Remember that the damage is constantly being healed, though, so it is basically less lethal to Naruto than to a human. Also, this assumes that Naruto doesn't use the Kyuubi's chakra to reverse the damage done.
 * 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit- regular body temp, when Naruto is using no chakra.
 * 100-102 degrees - weakening of the body, countered by the cloakless Kyuubi form. Can safely return to normal.
 * 103-106 degrees - more weakening, dehydration, and slight loss of mental stability, when 1 or 2 tails of the Bijuu cloak develops. A lot of the cloak is concentrated towards the extremities, and it is scalding hot. May need some medical attention if returned without a chance for the chakra to heal.
 * 107-119 degrees - constantly-healing first-degree burns and significant brain damage when in 3-tailed state. It may get worse with time, and if forcefully returned to normal, immediate healing is needed.
 * 120-150 degrees - brain death (succumbing to the Kyuubi's influence), as well as peeling of the skin and major loss of blood and fluids from third-degree burns; in this case, the fluids mixes with the cloak of the 4-tailed form. The cloak is now hot enough to reduce any living thing it touches to ash. As already seen, returning from this from will result in a quick and painful death if a medical nin isn't around, but even then, there is massive brain damage and organ weakening.
 * 151-220 degrees - blood begins steaming, and extremities begin to dry up and crumble at around the time the fifth tail forms. Same if yet another tail (with partial skeleton as a bonus) begins to form. Naruto would return with only seconds to live given Tsunade isn't there.
 * 221-???? degrees - just a guess, but at the seven-tailed form and beyond, Naruto's body would no longer be needed to support the cloak because the Kyuubi's own flesh is forming. At this temperature, cells are popping from the boiling water in them, the body is drying up even further, and eventually, Spontanious Combustion occurs. Therefore, death would be instant on return to normal, and Naruto would be nothing more than a charred skeleton (if not badly mutilated by the transformation process). Thank god Yamato didn't get there before the Fourth did.

Sasuke is secretly a

 * This is how he has always been able to adapt and overcome his opponents. He is always developing new abilities, switching sides whenever he wants, and has already curbstomped through many of the major villains. The Kages created him from pure chakra and used yet another to hold him together. Now they have unleashed him.

Corollary...?

The World of Naruto is a reflection of Ancient Greece

 * Konoha is Athens, Kiri is Rhodes, Suna is Thebes, Iwa is Macedon, and Kumo is SPARTA!

Naruto is insane.

 * The common method of describing insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. The thing in question being attempting to save Sasuke. His attempts have no reasonable way of succeeding, but he tries anyway, expecting that Sasuke will say "Oh well, since you put it that way, I guess I'm not evil anymore. Let's have sweet sweet man-sex in the middle of the street."

Kabuto's last coffin contains Naruto.
Madara succeeded in killing Naruto as a baby. Everything that's happened since is a mass delusion by Minato, who believes himself to be Naruto. Kabuto is a ninja therapist trying to perform Inception by summoning the real Naruto.

The Kyuubi is the origanal Doom Marine
(since this is just for fun ) After years of fighting in hell the marine was turned into a massive demon so he would stop massercering the locals .Then he got out.
 * The Kyuubi is basically a unstopable berserker killing machine and the marine is basically that in human form.

Mikoto Uchiha and Hinata's mother are related.
Although Hinata's mother was anime only, we do get to see her here. I think her hair and face are fairly similar to Mikoto's. They could be closely related somehow as either sisters or cousins and then ended up marrying the leaders of separate clans.

The Juubi is actually Yami or Akuro
Or maybe another Incarnation of pure evil that, unlike Yami or Akuro, could never be killed, not even by the gods, so he had to be split into nine pecies upon the sage of six path's death and had to be sealed away. And It would fit, considering Naruto and Okami are both based on ancient Shinto mythology.

Amaterasu is actually a Genjutsu
Seeing as most of the Sharingan abilities (save for Amaterasu and Susanoo) are to mess with your opponent's head (exemplified in the first Kakashi Vs Zabuza fight, in which he uses his Sharingan's mimic ability to mess around with Zabuza and Itachi's prowess as Genjutsu user) it just makes no sense for it to have a ninjutsu ability like Amaterasu, and even then an inestinguishible flame that's supposed to be hotter than the sun.

So, it's more likely for it to actually be a Genjutsu that everybody thinks- possibly even the user- is a Ninjutsu- the mislabeling even works in its favour, as the first step to dispel a Genjutsu is to recognize to be under the effect of one, but if you don't think that the effect is in your head then you can't do anything to remove it.

However we've seen Amaterasu actually do damage- for example, crippling the Raikage's arm so that he had to cut it off (which doesn't dismiss my claim of Genjutsu, btw). How is it possible for it to cause physical pain? Given that we've also seen the Sharingan showing Reality Warper abilities- for example the technique Danzou used that closed one eye to "cheat" incoming attacks, or Madara's intangibility- and taking into account an anime filler in which a girl had a rare ability to paint things and make them come true- the painting would put the foe under a Genjutsu until complete, iirc, and if the painting was finished you would simply stop existing- we can assume that the Sharingan mimics this ability and causes your opponent's mind to think the fire is real to the point your body sustains damage because it believes that's the way it should be.

(I know it's somewhat confusing, but I hate the idea of yet another fire-based Jutsu that doesn't deliver what it promises)

Hidan and Asuma aren't dead
They're sitting on a beach sipping pina colada's. It then pans over to Asuma wearing a jashin necklace.

Karura (and her parents) had really weird taste in names.
As of 547, it seems to be implied that. On that note, Gaara's name is just weird, and it's not just his; Kankuro's name means "black cap" and Temari's means "hand ball", as in a child's toy. Karura and her brother Yashamaru also have strange names. According to the Naruto wiki Karura's name can be interpreted to mean "the demon who adds to the flow [of sand or hatred]". Also according to the Naruto wiki Yashamaru seems to have been partially named after creatures in Japanese mythology known as Yaksha, who switch between a benevolent and a malevolent persona.

Since Karura doesn't appear to have named Gaara out of hatred after all, and considering Temari and Kankuro's names, if she named all three of them it seems far more plausible that she just had the strangest taste in names. Her parents did too, given what she and her brother are named—perhaps a family tradition?

The Rain Orphans are not expies of Team Seven, but of the Gaang
Nagato was rather less bratty and more instrospective than Naruto, his powerset through the Rinnegan more closely resembles that of Aang than Naruto, and even Jiraiya believed him to be because of it the Chosen One destined to bring peace after 100 years of pointless war that appear to be all (or at least very disporportionately) the Fire Nation/Hi no Kuni's fault. In many ways his personality and choices more closely resemble the things Aang might have been and made if somehow Azula, Admiral Zhao, or War Minister Quan and Long Feng had teamed up to force a Sadistic Choice on him that no amount of Plot Armor would permit a way to Take a Third Option, than if Naruto had been betrayed by Iruka and the Third Hokage.

I realise that Nagato and Konan themselves might be rather biased in their memories, but Konan seemed to come across as more genuinely kind-hearted than pre-timeskip Sakura, and she seemed to act like both Team Mom (including moments of Mama Bear) and Lady of War, as opposed to pre-timeskip Sakura being useful only in fits of inadvertance and post-timeskip to be smash, smash, smash. Also Konan's powers always seemed, like early Katara's waterbending up until they reached the North Pole, to have a rather less than obvious utility in and out of combat, then suddently after proper training, they become devastatingly effective.

As for Yahiko, who could (unlike Badass Normal Sokka) definitely make use of the Elements (though exactly which ones we have yet to find out), he was definitely The Smart Guy of the group. Akatsuki was his idea, after all.

Does anyone else see it?

Naruto is an increasingly contrived RPG Campaign.
Naruto's player isn't as idiotic as he lets on... He's just being in-character. Sakura's just an excuse to get out of battles by a male player, but this fails. And Sasuke's an utter munchkin asshole. Kakashi is new Roleplayer but trying to be the sensei. The Gamemaster is... Itachi, who wants to do other things, but is stuck doing this game, so he tries to do intentionally stupid things to make sure the players never want to play the game again. It will never work.

Sasuke is Justin Beiber.
JB became a world famous singer at the age of 16. Sasuke became a Kage-level ninja at the age of 16. Both have loads of fangirls, but at the same time loads of haters, many of whom claim that they're gay. This makes more sense if Oruchimaru is Micheal Jackson, he was the most wanted criminal/famous singer, then he died, and then it was Sasuke/JB.
 * Pro. He did beat his best friend, and Beiber beat a girl
 * Con. Every one likes Sasuke
 * (I'm the original poster of this WMG). By this point, Sasuke is less than sane, so I wouldn't say that everyone likes him. Just look at his section on Naruto's Headscratchers page.

the only way to trully defeat Naruto, is to destroy the Nine Tail Fox within him
There will be a group of Ninja that wish to kill Naruto by making the Nine Tail fox never exist by killing him so brutaly

The Rikudou Sennin was connected to alchemy.
The ringed eye of the Rinnegan is a lot like they eye of Truth in FMA.

Guy will kick Kabuto and Madara's asses.
Just look at his battle with Kisame. With a little help of a few shinobi, Guy will take them out in just mere seconds with the second gates. So manly it hurts.

Fuka from the "Twelve Ninja Guardians" filler arc is a member of the Uzumaki Clan.
I mean, just look at her and Kushina. Same hair color (adjusting for lighting), same natural hair part, same chin, nose, and cheekbones. Her powers could even be the result of misusing the Uzumaki Keikei Genkai and clan jutsu: after all, they are based on sealing chakra chains using one's hair!

Mind you, if Naruto told her his surname during their fights, that would make things extra squicky.
 * Fuuka might have possessed an Uzumaki but otherwise this wouldn't make sense (she's a body snatching hairpiece afterall).

Sakumo has insane spiritual power and is possible wanted by Soul Society.
Think about it, he's been dead since Kakashi was around six years old. When they meet again, you get the impression Sakumo's been at that fire ever since, just waiting to talk to his boy. This means he's been resisting hollowification this entire time and has refused to pass on.

Madara will remove his mask, revealing that he is Aizen.
Then Itachi will take of HIS mask and also be Aizen.
 * Then, the two Aizens will do a Fusion Dance, and become Kubo Tite. Then the giant statue will disintegrate into microscopic troll faces that kill both Naruto and B. Then, Tite will finally reawaken the Ten-Tails, which turns out to be Pantskat. Then the whole thing will turn out to be a dream by Isane.

Sasuke is suffering from Hinamizawa-Syndrome
His whole descent into madness is caused and easly explained by this.

Tobi Is Ash's Father
Kishi be trollin'.

Kaizoku will return, stronger than ever.
Bear with me his body was destroyed. Beyond all recognition, hell beyond DNA confirmation, but it is because of this he will be reborn a more powerful warrior than only he could imagine. With no physical form to occupy, Kaizoku's mind being stronger than most will have to forge a new body out of pure energy alone. Some possible examples could be Gwen Tennyson, or Dr.Manhattan or any being with no real need of body that makes one anyway, or because it's what they are used to.

Just a little fact 9or to spice it up) Ino Shikamaru and Choji all got their combined names and team from a character on Dragonball Z
Their is a part Boar, part Deer, part Butterfly creature named (you guessed it) Ino Shiko Cho. Those begginings sound awfully familiar, no? This shoul;d clear things up for you. Check out the VERY FIRST TWO pictures. or for your own results look up inoshikacho on google images.

Tobi's plan is to basically Snow Crash the entire world.
this is the only way his plan makes sense.

Gai is secretly Rocky.
it all makes sense now.

Konohamaru is working for Orochimaru.
Remember that "Yaoi no Jutsu" that he pulled on Sakura? How the hell would he know what post-Timeskip Sasuke looks like?
 * Bingo book?
 * I thought they only gave those to ANBU members.
 * Kono must obviously be part of the ANBU then.
 * Clearly. He can do the freaking Rasengan as a genin. After a SINGLE explanation and demonstration from Naruto. Who explained it POORLY. He's clearly hiding his potential.
 * I doubt it would be hard to image. Post-Time Skip Sasuke looks exactly like you'd expect him to if you only saw him when he has younger.
 * The scene was played for laughs. Remember the MST3K Mantra.

Tsume's dog Kuromaru has a Sharingan Eye
It makes sense! Every other Konoha character shown who covers an eye with a patch has a sharingan eye, so why not Kuromaru? It'd make about as much sense as anything else happening in the manga right now.
 * Sha-bark-ken?
 * Does this mean that Tonbo (a Chunin who presides over the first part of the Chunin Exam and works on getting information out of the Rain ninja Jiriaya sent to Konoha who has bandages over both his eyes) has two Sharingan?
 * Yes... Because his full name is Uchiha Tonbo! He managed to escape the massacre, and decided to drop his last name and started wearing the bandages over his eyes to hide the truth! It will be revealed when Uchiha Tonbo removes his bandages and starts taking over the manga from WITHIN the village! with three Uchihas and two (confirmed) Sharingan borrowers, Naruto will become Tenten pt. 2!
 * This theory implies that the Sharingan also exists in Suna; as far as I can recall, Baki's never removed that thing that covers half his face, INCLUDING AN EYE...
 * Danzou sold a Sharingan eye to Baki. I mean, if you can miss dozens of people being kidnapped by Orochimaru, or the fact someone strong enough to be Hokage (Danzou) disappears for a few days with a garrison of ANBU, and only Danzou coming home... What's one eye? Especially after a genocide on the level of the Uchiha Massacre. And, well, Kishimoto is trying too hard to make Danzou a bad guy while showing him to be a pretty damn good Hokage, so its not exactly out of the question.
 * What about Naruto? His eye's covered in bandages as of the latest chapter.
 * And it turns out that.

It's official. Anyone with a covered eye is hiding a stolen Sharingan, stolen Byakugan, or a stolen Rinnegan.
My bet is that the Mizukage is hiding a stolen Byakuringan, combining the Sharingan and the Byakugan into one cheesy ability. That, or she stole her daddy Madara's other eye, which is why he runs around with that one-eyed mask. He, of course, replaced his missing eye with a Byakugan.
 * Well, we know what Naruto's gift from Itachi is now. When he removes those bandages from over his eye, it'll reveal that he now has Itachi's Mangekyou Sharingan. What it'll do once he reveals it, who knows? Sharingan changes powers depending on chapter.
 * Does it mean that Dosu also had an implant? And we would NEVER find out? Kishimoto!!!!!!!!!!!! Will you ever stop tricking us!?!?
 * No doubt he had a failed Sharingan or Byakugan. Orochimaru tried (and failed) to implant something, hence why the eye was covered. It was all a ploy to see if he could get the Sharingan or Byakugan for himself without having to hijack Sasuke's or Itachi's body.
 * There have been too many showings of the Sharingan and Byakugan. I give the Mizukage enough credit to at least use a dojutsu from her country. (So what if it was only filler? Ranmaru's Akagan - for lack of an official name - kicked the crap out of the Konoha dojutsu. And the Rinnegan... I don't see that being something that more than one user at a time could have.)

Naruto will 'win', getting both current potental Love Interests.
Remember, Most Writers Are Male, and Kishimoto is no exception.
 * But he ain't no T. Campbell.

Under Kakashi's mask is a

 * Of course.
 * Of course.

After the massacre Konoha decided to auction off their sudden supply of Sharingan.
Kakashi is the only one who openly has one because it was a gift. All of the characters over the age of twenty have one, but no one wanted to break the news to the tragically orphaned Sasuke and no one ever tells Naruto anything.
 * This also explains why Danzo get's away with so much. Given how many eyes he has...

The Sharingan has nothing to do with eyes
In actuality the Uchiha simply discovered that the Sharingan magically appear after covering a body part with a bandage long enough. It appears most easily in the eye, and so all new born Uchiha have their eyes covered with a bandage for several weeks, and they get a Sharingan.

The reason we've never seen Madara without his mask is because, like Danzo, he's covered his face with Sharingans.
Everything else that's been covered has had them under it. Why not his mask?
 * If he had extra Sharingans they would be on the right (his left) of his face, since he briefly partially removes his mask to confirm his identity.

The Ten Tails is The Ultimate Gohma
Even Asura in his ultimate form couldn't defeat it, so he taught the Sage of Six Paths how to utilize his Inner Energy like how himself and the deities that betrayed him did before he died trying to stop it, and the Sage of Six Paths learned to utilize it in a way none of the dieites did, by creating Sealing arts and learning to manipulate the elements to seal the Ten Tailed beast in himself.

To emphasize the Gohma Nature, the Ten tails will have black skin with lava like veins when fully revealed, just like the rest of the Gohma do.

Naruto will pair up with a Sexy no Jutsu clone of himself in the end
His mom told him to marry a girl like her, and we're told that Naruto got his personality from her. Hence, the real closest answer would be a female bunshin of himself. That's why it was his original signature skill. It's a Chekhov's Gun! How's that to troll all those shippers?

Minato's father is Emperor Mataeus Palamecia
Jareth

The characters' choice of underwear
I got this idea from this forum thread.
 * Sakura- She probably goes commando. Those shorts are so tight, I can assume wedgies would be a common ocurrance.
 * Lee- Either briefs or the above theory for the same reasons.
 * Hinata- Nothing too revealing, such as granny panties. She already dresses so modestly that it's not too hard to believe.

is actaully Sailor Moon.
Or Sailor Moon is actually. Take your pick.

Inner Sakura is shippuden Sakura, Outer sakura is tobi.
This sound mad but
 * Tobi first appear in shippuden. 'inner Sakura' dissapper.
 * Inner Sakura fighting:punching. Outer Sakura fighting:traps.
 * Shippuden Sakura fighting:punching and kicks. Tobi fighting:traps and misdirection.
 * Inner Sakura speaking:say what on her mind. Outer Sakura speaking:almost never.
 * Shippuden Sakura speaking:say what on her mind. Tobi speaking:is a lieing liar who lie.
 * Inner Sakura injuries:No body. Outer Sakura injuries:vs kin grab by hair after 5 minutes. vs Ino Punched unconscious after 5 minutes.
 * Shippuden Sakura injuries:vs sasori poison, cut up and stabbed. Tobi injuries:vs everyone invulnerable for you guess it 5 minutes.

The more I think about it the more I think I'm on to something.

The Ten Tailed Beast is related to the Gestallt
Tobi wants to use it as part of an assimilation plot. It would make sense if.

Kakashi is Smoke from Mortal Kombat and Chipp from Guilty Gear.
He travels between Earthrealm, Guiltyrealm and Narutoria as realm crossing is a real part of Mortal Kombat. Alternatively all three worlds exist on the same timeline as Guilty Gear takes place a little over 100 years from the Mortal Kombat time likely based on our present. Naruto world can easily exist in the past or future. Many episodes from the original series after Sasuke went away start grabbing at old legends from the past in dire need of story material. If in the future, Guilty Gear technology is outlawed and magic plays an increasingly large role so the Naruto universe may well be the logical next step in civilization. Japan was destroyed in Guilty gear and Chipp was obsessed with becoming President. Perhaps upon achieving his ambition his goal was to turn the world into the next Japan which explains the dominant Japanese culture in Naruto. This too would justify Chipp as being a true Japanese as he would have redefined Japan in his image on a global scale.
 * He puts on a mask covering his face to hide his identity in Naruto as well as Mortal Kombat, but the spiky gray hair still shows.
 * His ninja training and identity are a permanent part of his character.
 * All three are capable of teleportation.
 * He is capable of turning invisible.
 * He recognizes his Thousand Years of Death attack when Faust uses it againt him as evidenced by his reply.
 * He can create shadow clones and taught the technique to his partner Noob.
 * He has also been witnessed performing this technique when he was maskless and thought he was alone in Guiltyrealm.
 * In Narutoria he is more than familiar with handseals and tends to favor the exact same handseal which he uses both while parrying projectiles in Mortal Kombat as well as while teleporting and Instant Killing in Guilty Gear.