Reviewer Stock Phrases

"There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family"."

- Jerry Seinfeld

"''The Tagline on the cover says "An action-packed thrill ride!" This line is so generic it's almost invisible. It says nothing! I defy you to come up with a more forgettable box quote. For bonus points use the words Fast, Furious, Rollercoaster and Tour de Force... Ugh, No-holds-barred, I forgot that one."

- The Spoony One, reviewing Wing Commander The Movie

Also known as "reviewer-speak."

Coming up with original reviews for multiple works within the same month, week or issue can be hard. That's why many reviewers, amateur critics, and even travel writers will use certain stock words, phrases, and terms for works.

Some examples of Reviewer Stock Phrases are "X on crack" ,"X Meets Y", "best X of the year", "fun for the whole family!" These cliches are often parodied.

Reviewer Standard Comparisons is a Sub-Trope.

Film

 * "Riveting". When was the last time you saw that word used outside of a movie review context? Apart from metalwork class that is?
 * Oh yeah. Foamy The Squirrel even railed against this during one of his famous rants.
 * Dave Barry once claimed to have been "literally riveted to [his] seat, by literal rivets."
 * Action movies and books will usually be "Thrilling," "Suspenseful," "Gripping," and "High-Octane," among many others.
 * Expect any action-comedy review to feature the word "romp" at least once.
 * Every action movie has at some point been referred to as a "roller-coaster ride" or "thrill ride". Directors are typically called "visionary" for reasons which are often unclear.
 * Family comedies will usually be "Fun for the whole family" or something to that effect.
 * Comedies in general will always be "hilarious" and "laugh-out-loud funny!"
 * Documentaries will often be "thought-provoking" or "controversial"
 * Film reviews of blockbusters often feature "This Year's X": "Star Trek is this year's Iron Man", for example. "The Next X" is similiar, also for people who can't comprehend that something can stand on its own without being compared to something else.
 * "Smart, sexy and..." fill-in-the-blank. "Cool," "fun," and "action-packed" work.
 * The "It's Die Hard On An X" line that's popped up in reviews for the past 22 years.
 * Bright Lights Film Journal's Banned Words.
 * Peter Travers, the film critic for Rolling Stone, often peppers his reviews with cliche phrases like "crackerjack thrillride," "enjoy the air conditioning," or "check your brain in at the door" to describe action movies that require little attention.
 * Few action film set-ups are as overworked and meaningless as the old one-two punch of invoking the "unstoppable chain of events" that will have you "on the edge of your seat."
 * The posters for Dumb and Dumber parodied this with fictitious review quotes such as, "It's a movie experience for anyone who goes to see it" and "I laughed til I stopped."
 * Many reviewers have taken after Roger Ebert's 'two thumbs up' signature. Sometimes something else will be substituted depending on the movie, ie two paws or some such.

Literature
""Best book ever. Or maybe I'm dead and Colbert's taking advantage of this fact by signing my name to this review. Either way, you got to admit, he's got guts." -J D Salinger. "A must-read! I laughed, I cried, I lost ten pounds!" -Stephen Colbert"
 * The top 20 most annoying book reviewer cliches and how to use them all in one meaningless review
 * Literary critics in particular tend to use the phrase "tour de force", usually apropos of extremely pretentious or confusing works.
 * "Page-turner" comes up often.
 * The Discworld book The Truth played with this trope. Equal Rites had a foreword reading "This book is not wacky. Only dumb redheads in Fifties sitcoms are wacky. It isn't zany, either."
 * If the novel accurately captures a teen's voice, expect the phrase "like Holden Caulfield" to pop up somewhere.
 * Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart's books mock this consistently. Some highlights (paraphrased).

"Really entertaining and fun. -- John Cleese I know for a fact that John Cleese hasn't read it. -- Graham Chapman Really entertaining and fun. -- Michael Palin"
 * If it's aimed at young adults and has even the slightest element of fantasy, it'll be perfect for Harry Potter fans, regardless of any actual similarities.
 * Even if it isn't, it's still open to comparison these days. See certain editions of Dragonriders of Pern books, and how for a while every The Dresden Files book had "...as another wizard named Harry" on the front or back (or both). Not as painful since later books came out, but it still leads to misunderstandings.
 * In the same vein, if it has anthropomorphic woodland creatures, especially if they're mice, it'll be "perfect for fans of Redwall."
 * The Dresden Files has also had the same Entertainment Weekly quote on every book in the series, dating back to the very first:
 * "Think Buffy the Vampire Slayer starring Philip Marlowe."
 * If it resembles a better-known work in the same genre, you might see "invites comparison to..." This can backfire, however. ("Invites comparison to The Lord of the Rings. Lord Of The Rings was great. This is crap.")
 * Some variant of "I couldn't put it down" often turns up in positive reviews, although this at least MEANS something. As literary types, critics are naturally uncomfortable using wacky and zany neologisms like "unputdownable".
 * Almost as common is the tongue-in-cheek review of a Doorstopper that says "I couldn't pick it up..."
 * The Cynic's Dictionary by Russell Ash had a whole chapter devoted to these. One was "Enthralling: Literally, enslaving. If you want to be a book's slave..."
 * If any non-fiction book discusses psychopaths or "evil people" in general, expect the adjective "chilling" to be abused ceaselessly, though it is questionable whether any of these books have ever lowered someone's body temperature.
 * This doesn't apply only the non-fiction, of course. Apparently every single mystery novel ever is "chilling" as well.
 * When Monty Python was asked to review The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, John Cleese decided to go with stock phrases; naturally, the others pointed it out:

Live-Action TV

 * One episode of Spin City had the Mayor asking his staff for their reviews of his performance as mayor. Paul's review consisted entirely of lines like these he stole from various movie reviews, including the line, "Stallone is pure adrenaline."
 * On episode of Thirty Rock has Pete use the stock acting description to say that Tracy Morgan is phoning it in. Then clarifies that this is Not Hyperbole, he's doing the scene over the phone from his dressing room.

Music

 * "For fans of (list three bands, one or two of those whose names are thrown around too much in their genre, and one that seems a bit out of left field)."
 * "Sophomoric" has become a cliche phrase within music reviews. As has the infamous "Sophomore Slump" that critics use to describe disappointing follow-up records.
 * Have you ever heard "whiskey-soaked" to describe anything but a blues or classic rock album?
 * "Whiskey-soaked" is the stock phrase to describe Tom Waits' voice.
 * Bill Anschell's "How to Be a Jazz Critic" is basically a list of these.
 * It seems that every rock single that gets released these days is an "anthem" of some kind. "An indie-rock anthem," "an anthem for today's generation," etc.
 * Any variant on "Their old stuff was better" will do.
 * Don't forget "pretentious", "self-indulgent" or "dinosaur", especially where 1970's rock not amounting to Three Chords and the Truth or Totally Radical is concerned.
 * Anything recorded between 1976 and 1982 will have to answer to punk or new wave, Similarly, anything recorded between 1988 and 1997 will have to answer to Alternative Rock or grunge. In short, if there's a subversive musical movement caustic critics champion as cutting edge or the future of music, especially if the album or artist is seen as "irrelevant" to that new movement, then expect that subject to be brought up in each review, regardless of the reviewed album's style, demographic or artistic intent. Certainly don't expect that review to take (or to understand) a non-"relevant" artist or style on its own merits.
 * Here's a game for you to play: Every time you see a music mag use the word "relevant" as a replacement for "good" - take a shot. (On second thought, don't.)
 * "Raucous."
 * A member of Sonic Youth once said during an interview that every album they release is invariably called either "A return to focus," "more song-oriented," or both.
 * "Virtuosic" is almost always used for jazz, tech metal, and progressive rock artists. Also, "chops" seems to be the standard euphemism for any kind of musical talent.
 * Guitar solos are always "blisteringly fast," or played with "lightning speed."
 * Alternatively,"searing" or "blazing."
 * There's a very nice list of these sorts of phrases on this page.
 * When reading any review for a guitar, amp or effects pedal, expect any of these terms: Crunchy, gritty, bluesy, blistering, searing, fat, chunky, wide, smooth, biting, nasty, squeals, scooped, tinny, rich, warm, hollow, tubey and sings.
 * And in a video review, no matter what they're reviewing, if they're playing a guitar they will make their O-face the whole time.
 * David Bowie historians/biographers, and even the man himself, have noticed that starting with 1993's Black Tie White Noise, his first solo album of The Nineties, critics love to use some variant on the praise "his best album since Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)" when reviewing his work. (That 1980 New Wave album was followed by the mainstream pop-rock, mega-selling Let's Dance and then the dork ages of his mid-'80s output and the unsuccessful group Tin Machine.) Additionally, every article or review about David Bowie will use the word "chameleon" in one of the very first sentences.
 * Similarly, every Rolling Stones album will be called "their best album since Tattoo You" or "their best album since Some Girls". The next step on the ladder is "their best album since Exile On Main St." but although the phrase has been uttered occasionally, consensus is that only Some Girls itself deserves it. The problem is that, your logical and mathematical mind might deduce that Rolling Stones' albums since the one after Tattoo You are better and better each time, but the review usually manages to imply that the album before the one under review was their worst ever. Which when given a careful thought makes absolutely no sense.
 * For Bob Dylan, it's "best since Blood on the Tracks. Way to brush over decades worth of great material.

Newspaper Comics

 * Dilbert mocks this when Dogbert starts a film reviewing business, providing the review the filmmaker wants for a price. One man asks what the price is for "Best movie so far this year" for a film coming out January first.

Video Games

 * Games Radar has a database of Reviewer stock phrases, with 100 entries.
 * The GamersWithJobs Conference Call, a weekly video game podcast, has a self-imposed and largely unsuccessful ban on the words "visceral" and "compelling," among others.
 * ENN had a segment about a robotic game reviewer that judged everything "compelling", which later became a tagline for the show.
 * "The X Killer". Remember Killzone, which everyone said would be a "Halo killer"? No, of course not.
 * Killer App: a game so good it's a system seller: Super Mario Bros., Halo, Tetris, Metal Gear Solid, et al.
 * X Clone: a game that uses a recent successful game's style in a good or bad way. Double points if the "X" is extremely old and part of a genre that has changed a lot over time (like Doom for a First-Person Shooter) or Newer Than They Think and not what the game is really inspired by: (Bayonetta was named a God of War clone instead of Devil May Cry, with which it shares a director). Triple points if it's actually kind of accurate - see Saints Row after Grand Theft Auto or UFO: After Blank for X-COM.
 * League of Legends developers Riot Games actually invented the term Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (MOBA) to describe their game because they were sick and tired of everyone referring to the genre as a DotA Clone.
 * "If this is the sort of game you'll like, then this is the sort of game you'll like."
 * Before the whole recent push towards being obsessed with Retro Gaming, it was common to see any post-1999 2D game being described as having "SNES graphics" in a bad way. Now people are starting to learn what SNES graphics really were.
 * "Innovative," which gets dragged out whenever a game or peripheral uses an unconventional gimmick. They beat this horse particularly hard when the Wii and DS came out, but they learned their lesson when competing Waggle-devices were released.

Western Animation

 * "It's like South Park in/on/with X" was and still is very popular to describe any very "mature" bit of western animation that includes loads of swearing or adult situations. It used to be that any very "mature" show that was a Refuge in Vulgarity or Refuge in Audacity was compared to The Simpsons, but this has been phased out with other outrageous cartoon shows from Western Animation. Yet another sign that The Simpsons isn't as outrageous as it used to be.
 * Given some episodes of recent years, Hilarious in Hindsight too.

Other Media

 * Whenever an internet-based critic reviews something bad, expect a lot of fecal and/or sexual metaphors and swears.
 * "Pedestrian" sees a lot of use among the more pretentious media critics.
 * As George Carlin hilariously mocked, you can always expect "zesty," "tangy," or some other meaningless but novel word from bad food critics.
 * There's also the Food Network favorite, "nutty"
 * Also, "fruity," "dry," or "aged to perfection" are guaranteed from any wine review.
 * Speaking of those, no one ever drinks in wine reviews or "bar scene" columns in newspapers - they "tipple," "imbibe," or "libate." Similarly, bars are never just called bars - they're "watering holes," "dives," or "haunts".
 * The term "dark." It's very old, tracing back to the Biblical days or further, and one of the most overused descriptors in the history of media. Any show that's violent, negative, or set in a Crapsack World is "dark." Any band that makes ominous, angsty, or sad music will inevitably be called "dark." Characters always have "dark pasts" and "dark secrets" that will one day lead them to The Dark Side. (Not to mention that a "Dark and stormy night" is never a good thing.) Thankfully, this is often subverted.
 * The Encyclopedia Metallum lampshaded this one: when listing a band's genre, it is expressly forbidden to describe them as "dark metal", their reasoning being that this description could literally mean absolutely anything.
 * Many upcoming artists (in all mediums) are often called "[Place]'s answer to [Similar, but much more famous person or band.]" For example, "Paris, Texas's answer to Metallica."
 * Freakonomics suggests that real estate agents do this; for example, describing as house as "fantastic" is strongly correlated with it being overpriced and/or a bit of a lemon, because they only have to resort to the generic adjectives when there's nothing particularly good about it.
 * "I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats!"
 * Car magazines, British ones in particular, are fond of praising models with particularly good space utilization by comparing them to the TARDIS.
 * The word chic in fashion, can be applied to anything the reviewer likes, the word having no actual meaning unto itself.
 * Ritz, glitz, chic, freak(y), geek, trashy, and in. All entirely meaningless nowadays. Can also be applied to gossip rags when applicable.