American Dad/Quotes

"Oh my god, Stan has no friends and he doesn't even realize it. He's like America: The Guy!"

- Roger

"For the second time my life has been saved by hip hop. But that's another story."

- Stan Smith, Finances With Wolves

"Stan:: Francine, we can’t do this in the house of the Lord. This is wrong. Francine:: Then I’ve been naughty and you'll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking. Stan: Damn your clumsy Christmas-sex metaphors! [Amorously grabs Francine]"

- "Rapture's Delight"

""Hey, all I was trying to do was keep my country and my family safe!""

- Stan Smith, Homeland Insecurity

""...And, just like that I'm gay.""

- Klaus, after seeing a disturbing shot of a lady

"Michelle: Actually, you get smaller and cuter every time you win a case. Stan: Oh my god, we're doomed! Look at him, he's cuter than a puppy and a kitten trying to get in the same slipper!"

- Stan, getting a trial in heaven.

"Stan: That man just rode me like an animal for three hours. Do you have any idea how that feels? Haley: (raises an eyebrow) Stan: And now I'm not hungry anymore."

""Some say that was the end of Klaus' story. Some say it was just the beginning. No one ever says it was the middle.""

- A Narrator, after Klaus enters a castle in a hotel fish tank.