ToyHammer

""In the grim darkness of the 21st century, there is only boredom.""

ToyHammer is a Warhammer 40000 Fanfic written by Rogue Psyker (who also wrote Zero Shock) which begins when Michael is dropped off at his home by his friend, only to find that most of his house has been turned into a warzone between the various races of the 40K universe: multiple Space Marine chapters, Imperial Guard regiments, Sisters of Battle, Grey Knights, and the attached elements of the Adeptus Mechanicus, as well as the major xenos factions: Eldar, Tau and Orks. The 'twist' in this is that, for reasons that have only been hinted at to date, all of the armies and their respective weaponry, mecha, and tanks have been shrunk to the size of the miniatures from the game...but their weapons still work just fine.

Hilarity Ensues as Michael tries to cope with the miniature freeloaders in his home, and they try to cope with Michael and the concept (not to mention execution) of living peacefully with each other.

A mashup of an Elsewhere Fic, Alternate Universe Fic, Crack Fic and slowly approaching Fan Verse with the Omake chapters and the fact that there are absolutely no canon characters used, ToyHammer is another take at the 4chan writefaggotry based around 'Mini-Hammer' style Fan Fics, involving Fun Size 40K characters appearing and running around in Real Life as a 'regular' human (called Terrans to differentiate them from the Fun Size and more numerous humans) and his friends try to cope with things.

While initially the fic focused around the interactions between a full-size human having to do riot control over a large number of tiny, armed 40K soldiers, it soon shifts its focus more to the soldiers of the eternal war and their reactions to living a more peaceful life, one that doesn't involve them killing everything else. Christmas traditions, Valentines, co-existing with 'foul xenos' and 'dirty monkeys' are explored.

And then, the fun ends (and starts) with. The fic last updated on 5/21/2012; future updates will appear in pieces on Space Battles before being posted on FF.net.

See Warhammer 40000 for the tropes from that universe.

""THOUGH I FACE THE SHADOWS OF THE WARP,
 * Abusive Parents:
 * While nothing is said of his mother, Michael's father was stated to have left marks on him.
 * is just short of explicitly abusive. After all,
 * Accidental Pervert:
 * The Warp Spider Urual in the first Omake, who managed to teleport himself into the bathing pool full of naked Howling Banshees. Hilarity Ensues.
 * Michael tends to get hit with this a lot whenever the facet of Zara's psyche that stores all her emotions shows up, since she's got a habit of glomping him and cuddling in a way that's very easy for the rest of Zara's psyche to over-analyze.
 * Action Girl: A given, considering their origins....
 * Action Survivor: Michael, Vincent, Alice and Batel...which is rather funny considering that all 4 of them are literal giants (say, Eva-scale) when compared to the miniatures.
 * Aesop: Do not touch tanks, or their gunners will shoot you. This leads to...
 * Aesop Amnesia: Vincent is shot by a tank gunner (with 'low setting' on their multi-las) for treating the tank like a toy. He forgets it by the next thought: "Cool, Land Raider."
 * Aerith and Bob: Given the mix of races, this is par for the course: normal human names like Alice and Vincent; 40K human variants like Ishabeth, Tomas and Eizak, and of course, Sohm Vekt; Madork Gunna (Ork) and Shas'ui Fi'rios Yon'anuk Eldi'myr (aka Sergeant Talon) (Tau).
 * All There in the Manual: Several of the the odder characters have descriptions in the author's personal forum on Fanfiction.net. There are also.
 * Almighty Janitor:
 * Michael, the Kid with the Leash to at least four (miniaturized) Badass Armies, including Space Marines, tech-priests, Badass Normals, Badass Abnormals and Badasses in general. Oh, and a Tsundere.
 * Yoza. Considered the most powerful psyker among the Eldar (and possibly among the miniatures), he is still a relatively low-ranking Warlock.
 * And You Were There: Michael has a dream where Zara is his girlfriend, Emma is Zara's baby sister, and many of the Imperial commanders are friends and coworkers.
 * Ascended Extra: Quite a few; many of the secondary characters have gone from Flat Characters who were added as padding to actual characters with Character Development and a dose of Badass.
 * Apocalypse Maiden: may be going this way.
 * Apologetic Attacker: Batel really doesn't want to gut you like a fish...unless you're . Then all bets are off.
 * The Atoner: Comes with the job description of.
 * Audience Surrogate: This role is passed around between Alice, Michael and Vincent, giving different perspectives and opinions: Alice does not enjoy the fact that there's miniature warriors running around. Vincent is on full out Squee because of it. Michael is trying to deal with it.
 * Author Avatar: Vincent, per Word of God.
 * Badass Army: >90% of the characters in the story belong to at least one Badass Army or another.
 * Badass Boast: More than a few of these. For example:
 * Badass Army: >90% of the characters in the story belong to at least one Badass Army or another.
 * Badass Boast: More than a few of these. For example:

I SHALL FEAR NO EVIL, I SHALL FEAR NO FOE!

FOR I HAVE MOAR DAKKA THAN YOU, BITCHES!""

"It was the strangled, near-panic cry of one of his men, “Brother Timmae“, and it was soon followed by the dakka dakka dakka of Silverite's twin bolters. Of course, that didn't last long until a roaring Ork stopped the firing. A series of crunches and another dakka followed. The Ork's voice was next heard whimpering for mercy.
 * Badass Bookworm: Vincent kind of plays this straight, since he's a military otaku with lots of spare time and YouTube. Averts I Just Shot Marvin in the Face because of this. However, Vincent then semi-subverts this since he's not at all fit (A quick run from one side of a parking lot to the other? Exhausting enough to get him mildly out of breath) and.
 * Battle Couple:
 * are definitely headed this way. Their parting gesture when about to head into battle? A knuckle tap. Others are starting to form, but whether its an actual couple or not is up to debate.
 * The Stealthsuit team from the Valentines Omake are a Battle Foursome.
 * Possibly.
 * Battle in the Center of the Mind: The Mind War arc is all about this.
 * Beta Couple: Several Token Romances are the background.
 * Beyond the Impossible:
 * In chapter 20,.
 * The Assault Marine commander even lampshades this,.
 * Blessed with Suck / Cursed with Awesome: Turns out,.
 * Bonus Material: Actually called Omake chapters, these are semi-related chapters presented as one-shot gag shorts, especially with the main story taking the Darker and Edgier track.
 * Bring My Brown Pants: Doubles with Brown Note when.
 * Calling the Old Man Out: Batel vs Ryan. Ready... FIGHT!
 * Cerebus Syndrome: Starts setting in around, although it doesn't lose the comedic elements.
 * Chunky Salsa Rule: Used whenever bolt weapons are involved.
 * Click Hello: Tomas, using a Hell-Pistol.
 * Combat Pragmatist:
 * Vincent's first weapon? A can of spaghetti. Followed by a bag of flour, which is then turned into an improvised explosive. Silverite is also this, with his backstory.
 * Also; given a choice between a lightsaber, a chainsword, a psychic sword, a spear and every other weapon imaginable, what does Michael pick? A fire extinguisher.
 * Which really came in handy when his opponent started using fire-ball attacks.
 * Michael, in the arc, goes beyond the regular summoned small arms that's the local fare,
 * Michael even uses himself against, as well as a list of other solutions to some very...uncomfortable situations.
 * Conveniently an Orphan: Averted, in that while Michael does live alone in a big house, its because of his grandfather's will - his family is still alive and well, with both parents alive.
 * Contest Winner Cameo: Kinda, since its more 'thanks for a critique', although many characters (such as, to name a few), are actually expanded upon to become AscendedExtras in the omake chapters or in the main plot.
 * Cosmic Plaything:
 * Creepy Child: Subverted by in ch. 20; see The Reveal below.
 * Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Silverite.

Justicar Amadeus gnashed his teeth. Near heretical he may be, but Silverite was not a coward nor incompetent."

""YOU DARE STRIKE ME!? WHAT ARE YOU TO DO? WHAT WEAPON SHALL YOU FACE ME WITH!?"
 * The named Grey Knights tend to be CMH Bs or inverted; the three Grey Knights in Chapter 23 are more Crouching Badass Hidden Morons, since they are extremely badass but with a hint of moron (like feeding a normal human Space Marine-grade alcohol. For them its 'tipsy'. For, its 'almost dead from alcohol poisoning'.)
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Also a Roaring Rampage of Revenge.
 * Cute Clumsy Girl: and Ishabeth.
 * Cute Little Fangs: Batel has either these or the not-so-cute variety depending on whether or not she's suffering from Demonic Possession.
 * Cry Cute: Of all people,.
 * Dark Action Girl: is a scarily competent one.
 * Although this may also.
 * Distracted by the Sexy: Hilariously averted as
 * Evil Counterpart:
 * A lot of the Imperials have these in the.
 * is played up as one for.
 * Evil Laugh: is not a nice man.
 * Evil Sounds Deep:
 * pulls this, along with Voice of the Legion levels of distortion.
 * Averted with, who has a very soft, seductive voice.
 * Evil Twin: Although not an actual evil twin sibling, the comes real close. Comes with False Crucible.
 * Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Bows of Frustration
 * Expy:
 * After watching Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back, Yoza becomes one of Yoda, intentionally. When the going gets tough, he drops the act.
 * A young woman who dual-wields two BFGs, one of which has an extended barrel and scope. Meryl from MGS, anyone?
 * Cultist-chan/Batel's appearance and speech patterns are taken from the /tg/ Fanon.
 * Briefly appearing (and seen but not named in later chapters), the Space Marines Dreadnought is the same as Fanon's Tankred.
 * Expospeak Gag: "A lot of the crystalline data storage structures also seem to be irrecoverably damaged." = "We ruined his DVDs."
 * False Crucible: Teaching Michael that daemons will come at him in any shape and form, even
 * Fan Verse: ToyHammer, The Enoch File, and Tomas Sturm are all connected. (Commissar Enoch was a classmate of Commissar Tomas Sturm, and the same Tomas is the IG Regimental Commissar in Toy Hammer).
 * Fang Thpeak: Batel
 * Fantastic Racism: Par for the course at the start of the fic, but gradually diminishes as the factions learn to co-exist in Michael's house, and eventually team up for various reasons. They aren't completely comfortable around each other, but they've realized that given the circumstances, it's far better that they all work together.
 * Fastball Special: Used by.
 * Fish Out of Temporal Water: Every miniature in the story.
 * Five-Man Band:
 * The Hero: Michael
 * The Lancer: Alice, now Miles
 * Supporting Leader: Vincent
 * The Chick: Batel
 * The Big Guy: The minis
 * Fridge Brilliance:
 * is made Fun Size in this setting!
 * Funetik Aksent: The Orks, obviously.
 * Fun Size: All the minis. Also, see Fridge Brilliance above.
 * Gangsta Style: Attempted, but the pistol stovepiped.
 * Genre Shift: From a whimsical Gag Series to a more serious and Crazy Awesome (but still funny) epic tale that twists the canon while still respecting it, showing us what happens when the more reasonable minds of the Grimdark future try to co-exist.
 * Grammar Nazi: Used by Michael to piss off.
 * Genre Shift: From a whimsical Gag Series to a more serious and Crazy Awesome (but still funny) epic tale that twists the canon while still respecting it, showing us what happens when the more reasonable minds of the Grimdark future try to co-exist.
 * Grammar Nazi: Used by Michael to piss off.

"Uh, buddy, you just ended a sentence with a preposition.""

"I HAVE KILLED MILLIONS! SET WHOLE WORLDS TO THE TORCH! BILLIONS HAVE COWERED BEFORE ME AS I DESTROYED THEIR CHAMPIONS! YET, YOU MOCK ME!?"
 * Gratuitous Indonesian: Vincent commonly swears in Indonesian, since it's his native language.
 * Heel Face Turn:, sort of,
 * Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: . Somewhere between 5'6"-6' compared to 0'2".
 * I Call It Vera:
 * Grey Knight Silverite named his Guns Akimbo BFGs 'Facebreaker' and 'Mr. Right'. Facebreaker lives up to its name.
 * Michael's weapon of choice is a fire extinguisher, which are called Big Red # (# being the number that he's at. With the Valentine's Day Omake, its currently at 7.)
 * Vincent wields number 11 in Chapter 19.
 * Imperator Ex Machina: Quite literally with in chapter 20, considering.
 * Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Referenced in the "Ordo Vermin" Omake.
 * Interface Screw:
 * Da WAAAAGH!!! and Madork Gunna's gun do this to the formatting. Lampshaded.
 * As does Michael becoming drunk or knurd.
 * Klatchian Coffee: Literally. Michael is given some Klatchian coffee after experiencing 'Space Marine' grade alcohol, and then causes some Interface Screw when he stopsusingspaceslikethistoshowhthesideeffectsofthecoffee.
 * Horde of Cerebus:
 * Large Ham: Any and all factions, as gloriously experienced back in the source universe for this story. But . Michael and Vincent also seem to be growing to enjoy the taste of scenery as well.

"Normally, I'd be dumbstruck, but since the Grey Knight had been kind enough to give me a four-line rhyming warning, I reacted."
 * Lighter and Softer: Very much so in comparison to the source material. All the human, Eldar, Tau, and even (to some extent) Ork characters seen so far are decent people who actually care about their fellow soldiers and are even willing to ally with xenos once they start getting adjusted to living in Michael's house.
 * Little Miss Snarker:, of all people. She apparently enjoys being this.
 * Masquerade:
 * Meaningful Name: A coincidence, and a few purposeful ones:
 * Batel is a Hebrew name for 'Daughter of God'. Which God is still questionable since she was once a Chaos cultist.
 * We also have Miles, which means 'Soldier'. The guy was a combat engineer.
 * 'Shas'ui Fi'rios Yon'anuk Eldi'myr' = Fire-caste veteran trooper of the Fi'rios colony, hunter-bird winged-knife' = 'Sergeant Talon of Fi'rios'. The author is showing his work here.
 * Modern Major-General: Imperial Guard General Faust. He's really good at logistics and organization; combat, not so much.
 * Mood Whiplash:
 * Played for laughs at the end of Chapter 23. Michael has just been dragged off by a and promptly whiplashes into absurdity when
 * Continually through chapter 24.
 * Morality Pet: Michael may in fact be this for the minis, since there's no other reason to not fight each other than the fact that Michael is around to keep them from doing so. Oh, and this pet's of the 'cat' stereotype with a fire extinguisher.
 * More Dakka:
 * Orks. 'nuff said.
 * A possible Chekhov's Gun is, gives us a potential increase in Dakka if implemented.
 * Michael has the Grey Knights materialize a dozen Sentry Turrets from Modern Warfare 2 and has them all blazing at full-auto at an advancing pack of daemons. The front ranks evaporate.
 * Noodle Incident: Just how did Vincent and Alice get subdued by a coalition army that had trouble handling ONE human?
 * We do know, however, that they fired an anti-tank rocket as a 'warning shot'... at Vincent's face.
 * Normally I Would Be Dead Now: A variant.
 * Normally I Would Be Dead Now: A variant.

"Urual coughed. Blood leaked from his nose, yet he had never been struck in that whole time."
 * Nosebleed: When Warp Spider Urual accidentally teleports in on the Howling Banshees' bathtime.

"Eldar Bonesinger: I do wonder, mon-keigh, is how are you able to simply hit the thing and make it work?
 * Oh, No, Not Again: Michael,.
 * Oh Crap:
 * Michael, when.
 * also experience this (partly literally) when.
 * One of Us: A few trope names (Batel is noted to be an Expy) are dropped. Not really surprising, considering that Vincent, the Author Avatar, is egregiously stated to be One of Us.
 * Percussive Maintenance: Epitomized by Ad-Mech Cogboys.

Cogboy: It may take two seconds to learn how to hit a machine, xenos, but it takes two decades to learn where to hit a machine."

"Thank you, Infinity Ward."
 * Poke in the Third Eye gets one when.
 * Power Trio:
 * Michael, Vincent and Alice play (and sometimes switch around) the roles of The Hero, The Smart Guy and The Chick.
 * The miniature armies are themselves a Power Trio (also Beauty, Brains, and Brawn); The Humans are the Mario, the Eldar and Tau are the Fragile Speedster / Glass Cannon and the Orks are the Mighty Glacier.
 * Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner:
 * "My turn."
 * "Hammer time."
 * As well as a shout out to Modern Warfare: "Oi, Suzy!"
 * "WE ARE THE HAMMER/WE ARE THE HATE/WE ARE THE END OF DAEMONKIND!", among others from Chapter 23.
 * And there is one for AN ENTIRE CHAPTER: "I refuse your reality, and substitute my own."
 * Precision F-Strike: Used by Michael and Vincent.
 * Reality Ensues:
 * A semi-reclusive artist (who had just had his legs sprayed by miniature machine guns) and a nerd run across a parking lot while being chased by an Apologetic Attacker with a daemonically possessed Knife Nut. They're out of breath by the time they've gone halfway. Knife Nut is just about at their heels.
 * Also, when the poser gangsta tries shooting his Colt .45 Gangsta Style and it 'jams' (it actually stovepipes), he tosses it away as useless. When the Badass Bookworm gets a hold of it, guess what?
 * Reality Warper:
 * Red Oni, Blue Oni: Justicar Amadeus and Grey Knight Silverite. Also a Boke and Tsukkomi Routine.
 * The Reveal: Turns out,.
 * Rule34: Mentioned.
 * Running Gag:
 * Michael's fire extinguisher, and his method of impressing the minis' commanders.
 * Quite a number of chapters end with a variation of Oh Crap.
 * Bows of Frustration
 * Sad Clown:
 * Security Cling:
 * When, it's hard to see her hug as anything else.
 * Enforced with, by , who physically drags so that he would be on the receiving end of that particular Security Cling.
 * Self-Insert Fic: Vincent is a direct self-insert of the author, but rather than being a Marty Stu, this Self Insert is a rather Squee-prone otaku who starts off with only ONE appearance in the first eight to ten chapters, but soon builds himself up to become the Supporting Leader as Michael and his friends answer The Call.
 * Sexy Santa Dress: Used in the Christmas Omake, especially the one made entirely of red and white ribbons.
 * Shipper on Deck: If chapter 26 is anything to go by, ships.
 * Shrinking Violet:
 * Meliya.
 * Alice started out as one, but isn't anymore.
 * is her replacement.
 * Shout-Out: Many.
 * Michael first convinces the minis to stop trying to kill each other by using
 * The Swooping Hawks Exarch is named Al-Tair.
 * The leader of the Imperial Scouts? Sergeant MacTavish.
 * On a related note, Modern Warfare 2 is given a shout when the 75th Ranger Regiment (the American forces in the game) is mentioned to be setting up for a gun-show soon.
 * Again in Chapter 21, we have a classic: "Oi, Suzy!"
 * The unapologetic and lampshaded use of massed Sentry Turrets.
 * The unapologetic and lampshaded use of massed Sentry Turrets.

"It was hard to describe, as I think there are few words in the English language to describe the mishmash of bizarre materials and machinery before me. There might be one in Eldar, though. They're assholes like that."
 * Troika pattern combi-chainguns.
 * Many /tg/ and 4chan memes are given a Shout-Out, especially during Chapter 13.
 * From the Christmas Omake:

""I shall feast on thy soul!"
 * In the first Ordo Vermin omake, the extermination (vermin, not Exterminatus) company is lead by a man going by Buck, there's also a Dutch as one of his subordinates, and they both call Michael 'Rookie'.
 * The Incredible Hulk is given one in the second Ordo Vermin omake.
 * In chapter 20, Vincent has a quick shout out to The Dresden Files:

"Its THINE, ya stupid bastard!""

""Can't touch this." STAB"
 * And then we have a Bioshock and Half Life shout out when Vincent is deliberating which tool he should use for a weapon: He pulls out a crowbar and a Stillson wrench, the melee weapon of choice for Gordon Freeman and Jack, respectively.
 * Taken even further that he had gotten the wrench from a hardware store called.
 * which sounds similar to
 * In a Shout-Out to both Final Fantasy and Ciaphas Cain (who used the description for a Red Mage for a Mechanicus Adept), have descriptions matching up to that with a Black Mage and a White Mage. The 'musician' also has a close description to that of Ragnarok Online's Dancer class.
 * Continuiing the Ciaphas Cain references:
 * Chapter 22 has a blink-and-you'll-miss-it reference to the Valhallan 597th in Ishabeth's memories.
 * Cain himself may have been referred to here: isn't Chain-Blade a suitable callsign for a particular Commissar that favors chainsword weapons? Not to mention gets lost (to the point of where 'Valkyria' admits that this is not the first time they've lost contact with him) and loves his tanna tea.
 * Throughout ch. 22, The Sorcerer constantly quotes Darth Vader almost word for word, and they are all in context.
 * Someone on the vox has the callsign 'Spartan', and hails from the Cadian's 117th regiment...
 * MC Hammer is given many a classic shout out in Chapter 23, which is titled "Hammer Time" and goes with it from there.

""Scatter!""
 * uses a rose-petal-whirlwind type attack that is very similar to Byakuya Kuchiki's bankai.

""Jane. Allow me to introduce myself. I am a woman of far sight and grace.""
 * The especially appropriate opening quote for Chapter 25; "I refuse your reality, and substitute my own."
 * Chapter 27 opens with a Land Raider using its turn signals to act as an impromptu alarm clock.
 * Chapter 28 features several nods to the Neon Genesis Evangelion fic Nobody Dies
 * Vincent is terrified of the impending arrival of Michael's sister Jane because she reminds him of the Ree.
 * Jane uses Terrifying!Rei's trademark "Hee~ey!", and she also uses the Rei & the Ree's "[...] and stuff." speech tic once.
 * Zara uses the Unusual Euphemism "flurgen".
 * One of the Apothecaries is named Eyugeen Rho. Easier to spot if you say it out loud.
 * Zara introduces herself to Jane:

""My head is not a black hole. No robot arms are going to be jumping out of them, okay? I have not had a psychotic girl hit me in the head with a Rickenbacker.""
 * In Chapter 29, Michael describes the maxim of any professional soldier as "plan to kill everyone you meet".
 * Michael meets an Expy of the Heavy in Chapter 30.
 * Back in Chapter 29, Inquisitor Danilov and the Grey Knights were on a curious ring-like structure, ten thousand kilometers in diameter. Those dimensions are canonical.
 * Chapter 10 leads Vincent to say Michael's head is a black hole. The response to that?

"Michael: "GOOD MORNING ELDAR!""
 * Three Grey Knights are named after The Three Musketeers.
 * Two imperial Psykers are named Elrick and Alphonse.
 * The Farseer Days: Frustration interlude ends with Michael entering the Eldar-inhabited bathroom of his house with a particularly boisterous greeting:

""Sergeant! Pass me some krak grenades. The ones on your left...no, your other left! Up two grenades, and your other left one. Yes, those.""
 * Michael's soul is an AT field, at least when fighting off psychic attacks.
 * The mindscape of the Grey Knights is a wasteland filled with every weapon they've ever seen.
 * Slasher Smile:
 * Sturgeon's Law : Mentioned.
 * Supporting Leader: is becoming this,.
 * That Came Out Wrong:
 * Meta-example. Jeremiah asks Tomas, "You got krak!?" He's asking for Krak-type anti-tank grenades, not the drug.
 * Again with Zara, when she screams . She actually has a 'combat membrane', possibly something like a plugsuit, which leaves no room for underwear, but still...
 * Terms of Endangerment: Zara repeatedly calls Michael 'mon-keigh' (Eldar term for 'human').
 * There Is Only One Bed: Basically why Michael wakes up one morning with Emma in his bed: She was cold, and none of the other options were available (no room, too short to reach, or covered by more firepower than she was comfortable with)...and she explicitly admits that she did that to Troll him as well.
 * This Is My Room: Each of the factions have claimed their own territory. The Sisters of Battle in the attic (inside of two old-school doll houses that are now abbeys). The Guard have a bedroom to share with the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Inquisition. The Space Marines have a bedroom too, with their own Adeptus Mechanicus forces as well as the majority of the vehicles. The Orks have the basement. The Tau are stuffed in a corner of the living room. The Eldar have the downstairs bathroom, and have only just figured out what the 'convenient landing pad' was used for.
 * Trademark Favorite Food: Commissar Tomas loves his coffee.
 * Tsundere:
 * . Oh so very much. Doesn't show her deredere side very much, though...but When She Smiles...
 * According to Word of God, the Howling Banshees are tsuntsun. All.Of. Them.
 * Unfazed Everyman: Michael, and also Vincent (his reaction to a 1/56 scale army capable of massive destruction? Nerdgasm.)
 * : tries to be one, but fails utterly when
 * Warrior Poet: The Grey Knights are fond of this.
 * Wham! Episode: Chapters 8-12.
 * When She Smiles:
 * Any of the other traumatized girls and boys in the story.
 * With Due Respect
 * X Meets Y: Indian in The Cupboard (or Small Soldiers) meets Warhammer 40000.
 * Your Other Left: Used by Jeremiah.
 * Any of the other traumatized girls and boys in the story.
 * With Due Respect
 * X Meets Y: Indian in The Cupboard (or Small Soldiers) meets Warhammer 40000.
 * Your Other Left: Used by Jeremiah.