Bananas

""Although the United States is, uh, a very rich country and San Marcos is a very poor one, there are a great many things we have to offer your country in return for aid. For instance, there, uh, there are locusts. Uh, we have more locusts than...uh, locusts of all races and creeds. These, these locusts, incidentally, are available at popular prices. And so, by the way, are most of the women of San Marcos...despite the tiny size of our nation, few people realize that we lead the world in hernias. They also fail to realize that before Columbus discovered your country, he stopped in San Marcos and contracted a disease which today can be cured with one shot of penicillin...""

- Fielding Mellish, Bananas

A 1971 comedy movie by and with Woody Allen as Fielding Mellish. He's a lonely product tester in the big city, who tries and fails to maintain a relationship with Nancy, a politically motivated woman whose pet project for the year is raising money for the rebellion in San Marcos, a Central American country ruled by dictator Vargas and riven by rebellion. Despondent over the break-up, Fielding travels to San Marcos to see things for himself, and gets sucked into the fight against Vargas. Hilarity Ensues.

One of Woody's earliest films, Bananas is also listed as one of his funniest, using absurdist humor and slapstick mixed with political commentary.

Needs a Better Description

"First Paratrooper: Which side are we on?
 * Acquired Poison Immunity: Gen. Vargas has a servant on hand to taste his meals in case they are poisoned. One meal does turn out to be poisoned, but the General eats it, anyway, claiming that he's been poisoned so many times to have developed immunity.
 * Air Guitar: This movie has a scene with an air chamber band. Woody eventually asks them to keep it quieter. (Originally, there were supposed to be instruments, but they never arrived and Woody decided to roll with it.)
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Fielding is accused of fraud, inciting to riot, conspiracy, to overthrow the government, and using the word "thighs" in mixed company.
 * Baby Carriage: As a quick throwaway gag
 * Banana Republic: San Marcos. (A Fictional Counterpart of Cuba)
 * Bloodless Carnage: At the beginning, El Presidente is shot several times, point blank, with a big gun, and there's not a drop of blood.
 * The same with the executions in the middle of the film. Woody Allen stated that it was a comedy, and blood would have ruined the Charlie Chaplin mood he was going for.
 * Book Ends: Wide World of Sports shows up to cover both a political assassination (at the opening) and a honeymoon (at the end) as sporting events.
 * The Caligula: Rebel leader Esposito, the second he gains control of San Marcos.
 * Cannot Tell a Joke: See the above page quote. Even Fielding realizes he's dying on stage.
 * Clark Kenting: Sent to the US to plead for aid, Mellish knows he needs a disguise to hide the fact he's really an American in charge of a foreign nation. Cue one ridiculous-looking beard with the straps keeping it in place visible to everyone.
 * Cold War: US Troops being flown to San Marcos:

Second Paratrooper: The CIA is not taking any chances this time. Half of us are for, half of us against!"

"Woody: I love you, I love you.
 * Cool and Unusual Punishment: Being forced to listen to Naughty Marietta.
 * Courtroom Antic: Parodied to the hilt. Among his other antics includes Woody Allen's character conducting his own defence, with results in cross-examining himself as a hostile witness.
 * The judge has enough at one point and orders Mellish bound and gagged. Cut to the following witness as Mellish, still bound and gagged, mumbling at her until she tearfully recants her testimony.
 * Mellish
 * Crucified Hero Shot: Fielding tells his psychiatrist this dream he has of being crucified and carried down a New York street. And then running into another New Yorker on a crucifix as the monks carrying them fight over a parking spot.
 * Drunk With Power: After overthrowing the government of San Marcos and rebel leader Esposito declaring himself the new president.
 * Everything Sounds Sexier in French: Discussed when Woody is in bed with his new girlfriend.

Nancy: Oh, say it in French! Please, say it in French!

Woody: I don't know French.

Nancy: Oh please... please!

Woody: What about Hebrew?

Nancy: ...oh."

""I think they hit me once, actually, in my whole childhood. They, they, uh, started beating me on the 23rd of December in 1942, and stopped beating me in the late Spring of '44.""
 * False-Flag Operation: The dictator of San Marcos attempts to assassinate a bumbling American tourist (guess whom) and frame a revolutionary group, in order to obtain American aid against the insurgents. It backfires, ultimately leading to the tourist becoming the leader of San Marcos.
 * A Fool for A Client: Fielding Mellish
 * Full-Circle Revolution: Parodies this; upon taking power, the leader of the revolution immediately starts making a series of ridiculous decrees, see above. His underlings get rid of him and make Woody Allen dictator.
 * Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Woody Allen recalls his parents to his psychiatrist:

"Fielding: You busy tonight?
 * I Have to Wash My Hair: Fielding Mellish tries to ask out a Sexy Secretary.

Norma: Some old friends are coming over. We're gonna show some pornographic movies.

Fielding: You need an usher?

Norma: Aw, that's sweet. I'm busy."

"Cosell: It's all over for El Presidente!"
 * Jungle Princess
 * Kent Brockman News: It began with Howard Cosell himself providing live commentary on the assassination of the leader of San Marcos.

"Esposito: From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!
 * It ends with Wide World of Sports covering Fielding's marriage to Nancy.
 * Male Gaze: Done to comic effect with a leather clad secretary who brags she and her friends are going to have a porno party.
 * A Man Is Not a Virgin: Fielding has a hard time getting any kind of date, and even his relationship with Nancy goes nowhere. It's not until he joins the rebels and proves his worth that he gets to bed the sexy rebel girl.
 * Mighty Whitey: Played with. Of course, since he's Woody Allen, he isn't exactly competent, but when the revolution succeeds and the Great Leader immediately goes crazy, his underlings get rid of him and force Woody Allen to become the new dictator because Woody Allen is an "educated American."
 * He finished high school.
 * Overly Long Gag. Fielding and Nancy's breakup.
 * Reign of Terror
 * Share the Male Pain: Fielding Mellish cringes at the mention of the word "Castration".
 * Nancy sympathizes - she gets the same way around the word "appendicitis".
 * Speed Sex: The film ends with Mellish and Nancy consummating their marriage (covered by World Wide of Sports). It lasts for about 30 seconds.
 * The Shrink: Of course, psychoanalysis is in this movie.
 * Shout-Out: During one of the rebellion shoot-outs there's a baby carriage rolling down the stairs.
 * So Long Suckers: Woody Allen's character gets knocked out a moment after triumphantly shouting this phrase.
 * Sorry I Left the BGM On: Woody Allen is invited to dinner with the president of the country he's visiting, and as he dazedly lies on his bed harp music starts. Then it turns out there's a harp player in his closet for no apparent reason.
 * Suck Out the Poison: A group of rebels is going over jungle survival, each repeating "Suck out the poison", until Allen says "I...I could never suck the leg of someone I wasn't engaged to.". Minutes later the sexy rebel girl runs past, shirtless, clutching her breast, shouting "I've been bitten by a snake!" Allen and all the other men rush after her.
 * Throw the Pin: pulls this gag twice in the course of a montage. Woody Allen's character is training with the rebels, and he tries throwing a grenade. Predictably, he throws the pin, having just enough time to make an exasperated face before the grenade explodes in his hand. Later, he tries again, and
 * Training Montage
 * Waking Non Sequitur: As Woody Allen is roused after being knocked out, he's moaning "...no more Polish women!"
 * With Great Power Comes Great Insanity:

Fielding: What's the Spanish word for straitjacket?"