IKEA Erotica/Quotes

""I used to write pornography when I was younger. It wasn't terribly erotic, but it was detailed...""

- Simon Evans

""Quite. After all, sex is just a couple of electrified water bags wobbling on each other repeatedly and then squirting amino-acids about.""

- Xkcd forums

""Rendered in a labyrinthine and frequently unintelligible grammar, the truly awful query is often notable for its length, its torrid verbosity, and the mechanical specificity of its sex scenes, which tend to read like appliance-repair manuals in their exhaustive and emotionless depictions of moving parts. ""

- The Rejectionist

"1) Put pOnOs (A) to vagOOO (B). 2) JAM IT IN! 3) ???? 4) PROFIT!"

- from a Fate/stay night parody comic

""He put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.""

- Ebony, My Immortal.