Me and My Dick



"People say it's quite unlikely The two of us should stick But I just tell them, "Hey! It's me and my Dick.""

From Team Starkid, the creators of A Very Potter Musical and Little White Lie, Me and My Dick is about a boy, Joey Richter and his Dick, Dick. Joey apparently lives in a Universe where people can talk to their body parts, and as a teenaged boy he naturally mainly listens to his Dick. Joey pines for Vanessa, the most beautiful Jew girl at his school, while not noticing that his best friend Sally is head over heels for him. Things seem to be looking up for him when Vanessa breaks up with her long-time boyfriend and invites him over to her house to "study." However, when he gives Sally a tight hug, Dick is introduced to Sally's Miss Cooter and it's Love At First Sight. Now Dick can't get it up for anyone but Miss Cooter and it puts Joey and Dick in a rough patch.

The musical ran from the 29th to the 31st of October, 2009, at a student theatre on the University of Michigan campus. It was posted to YouTube in its entirety on November 12, and the soundtrack was released for purchase via iTunes on March 9, 2010. The soundtrack debuted at #11 on Billboard's Top Cast Albums chart a week later. Yeah, you read that right. And for point of reference, also in the top 15 for that week were Cast Recordings for Avenue Q, Mary Poppins, Mamma Mia, Annie, Hair, The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King and Wicked. According to Billboard's new website, Team StarKid "are awaiting word if Me and My Dick will be selected for inclusion in the upcoming New York International Fringe Festival." - The main characters are: -
 * Joey Richter (Joey Richter)- A normal (if slighty awkward) teenage boy. He is best friends with his Dick. His best human friend is his neighbor Sally, whom he is Oblivious to Love. He has a crush on Vanessa.
 * Dick (Joe Walker)- Joey's penis, he is the embodiment of a teenaged boy's libido: crass, emotional, and sex-obsessed. He does have a sweet side to him though, as shown through his feelings for Joey and Miss Cooter.
 * Sally (Jaime Lyn Beatty) - Joey's neighbor and best friend. She is desperately in love with Joey but to shy to say anything to him. She too is awkward and considered a nerd in their high school.
 * Miss Cooter (Devin Lytle)- Sally's vagina. A Southern Belle with long, flowing hair (it works somehow!), Miss Cooter is young, beautiful, and cares deeply for Sally. She meets and falls for Dick and goes on a journey to find him again.
 * Vanessa (Ali Gordon)- The "hot little Jewish girl" that Joey has a major crush on. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend Rick...until she hears he cheated on her. Now she's on the rebound!
 * Flopsy (Brian Holden)- Vanessa's vagina who, unlike Vanessa, is happy to be single again as she's "sick of penises".
 * Tiffany (Alle-Faye Monka)- Vanessa's Dumb Blonde best friend who Really Gets Around. No, seriously, she Really Gets Around. Despite her stupidity she does care about Vanessa and tries to help her out.
 * The Old Snatch (Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia) - Tiffany's vagina who has long since lost her youth and looks due to Tiffany's hard partying and active sex life. She is jaded by penises, remembering her long lost love, her first time. She bonds with Miss Cooter.
 * Heart (A.J. Holmes)- Joey's heart who tries to get Joey to follow his advice rather then Dick's. He is a hopeless romantic, over the top and emotional.
 * Big T (Corey Dorris) - The head of the Land of the Lost Dicks, he helps Dick out...or so it seems.
 * Weenie (Arielle Goldman) - A "pocket-sized" penis who is part of the Land of the Lost Dicks.

This work contains examples of:
"Joey's Heart: "What do all of history's greatest lovers have in common? Romeo and Juliet! Anthony and Cleopatra! Jack Dawson and Kate Winslet's character! Joey: "All the guys die horribly first." Joey's Heart: "Uh eh- BAD EXAMPLE. How about Spider-Man and Mary Jane?" Joey: "Oh yeah they worked out PERFECTLY.""
 * Adaptation Expansion: The original play was called 'The Penis Play' and was performed about a year before this version. It completely lacked the Land of the Dicks sub-plot.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: In the opening scene no less. Later Vanessa and Flopsy imply they're about to.
 * All Love Is Unrequited: Up until near the end the only two who seem mutually interested in each other are Dick and Miss Cooter...and even then she briefly believes he's cheating on her.
 * Analogy Backfire: A particularly epic one in Act 1 Part 8:

"Heart: Joey, you... you stinker, you! You are, you are fatty! Joey, look at me when you cry! You are fatty!"
 * Angrish:

"Weenie: And you! You are for us, motherfucka! And we all gonna take turns on your mushy, sorry body! And because I'm in charge, I'm gonna go first."
 * Anthropomorphic Personification: One of the major conceits of the play. The body parts even have real names (the Old Snatch is Gladys, Flopsy is Myrtle, etc.).
 * Beta Couple: A lovely example of the Beta couples actually being important to the plot, Joey and Sally can only get together with both their hearts and Dick and Miss Cooter paired up. Big T and The Old Snatch also count.
 * The Big Damn Kiss: Joey and Sally
 * Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Hearts are wonderful... until you break them.
 * The Brainless Beauty: Tiffany
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: A quiet one by Dick in Act 2 Part 1
 * Butt Monkey: Joey and Sally. To the point that there's a character who is called "The Kid That Hates Joey".
 * Cast Incest: Subversion. A lot of viewers were squicked out by Joey Richter and Jamie Lyn Beatty playing a couple due to them having last played brother and sister, Ron and Ginny, in A Very Potter Musical.
 * Catch Phrase: "That's me, the Old Snatch."
 * Character Development: Joey Richter, and Sally to only a slightly lesser extent.
 * Creator in Joke: "O'Douls", the brand of beer that Joey and Vanessa drink, is part of an injoke among the Team Starkid crew.
 * For the non-Americans who aren't familiar with the brand, O'Douls is a terrible-tasting non-alcoholic beer.
 * Crosscast Role: Pretty much everyone at some point, since the company all dress up as pussies and/or dicks.
 * The Danza: Joey Richter as Joey Richter
 * The Ditz: Tiffany
 * Does This Remind You of Anything?: In this part of MAMD where three dicks are competing to become Joey's, what Weenie says to Joey really makes it sound as if they're all going to gang-rape him:

"The Old Snatch: "Tiffany, doll, I love ya, but you are the dumbest fuckin' person I've ever met in my entire life.""
 * Dragon-in-Chief:  in the end
 * Dumb Blonde: Tiffany, again. Let's just cut to the chase: Tiffany's Too Dumb to Live

"Miss Cooter: "I'm all aflutter in the gutter, if you know what I mean.""
 * Economy Cast: Lots of dual roles here, in particular Lily Marks doubling up as Sally's Heart and the Grand Cunt.
 * Epic Song: "Ready To Go"
 * Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Guess what Dick is?
 * First Girl Wins: Sally.
 * The Flapper: The attire and some of the mannerisms of Flopsy and The Old Snatch are reminiscent of this.
 * Funny Background Event: When Dick and Miss Cooter are dancing you can see Joey and Sally in the background gyrating against each other.
 * Gender Bender: Flopsy, The Old Snatch, and Weenie
 * Getting Crap Past the Radar/Stealth Pun: After "Even Though", where Sally introduces Joey to Miss Cooter, and Joey kisses her hand, and then works his way up her arm. Think about it.
 * Girl Next Door: Sally.
 * The Glasses Gotta Go: Subverted. She does let her hair down, but when Joey tries to take off Sally's glasses she goes cross-eyed and he quickly puts them back on.
 * Shout-Out to Arrested Development?
 * Graceful Loser
 * Hey, It's That Guy!: From A Very Potter Musical, we have Ron and Ginny as a couple (oh dear), not to mention Voldemort, Cho, Mrs. Weasley, and the Guy Who Gives Ron Twizzlers. Neville and Snape have cameos as Rick and Rick's dick.
 * High School Sweethearts: Joey and Sally, Vanessa and Rick.
 * Hollywood Nerd: Joey and Sally
 * Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Parodied with The Old Snatch
 * I Was Quite a Looker: The Old Snatch.
 * Informed Judaism: Vanessa.
 * The Ingenue: Miss Cooter of all people, however as a vagina she's not exactly pure.
 * Intentionally Awkward Title: Not to mention awkward premise! Though the actual message of the show is more heartfelt and less "edgy" than you'd expect.
 * Jerkass
 * If You Know What I Mean: Really? A musical about anthropomorphic penises and vaginas goes here? Shock.

"Joey: "Wow, the Nine of Hearts!" Joey's Heart: "That's right, the King of Hearts!""
 * Large Ham: Heart.

"Sally: Nobody can come in to the choir room yet because JOEY RICHTER IS CRYING IN HERE!"
 * And Joey, once he starts listening to his Heart.
 * Long Hair Is Feminine: Parodied. One of the things Dick really likes about Miss Cooter is her "long, flowing hair." Joey responds with a dumbfounded "On her vagina? It works somehow, though.
 * Love At First Sight: Err, touch.
 * Manly Tears: Or... not-so-manly tears.

"Joey: Oh, Sally, it hurts so much..."
 * Massive Multiplayer Ensemble Number: "Ready to Go".
 * Matzo Fever: Joey has it for Vanessa, the "hot little Jewish girl".
 * Mood Whiplash: Joey crying in the choir room. The bit where Heart humorously attempts to commit suicide ("I'm going to squeeze my left carotid artery, Joey") is the funniest suicide attempt ever, and then thirty seconds later, Heart gives up, wailing, "I'm--I'm broken!" and falling to the floor with Joey sobbing next to him. Cue "Awwwww" from the audience.

"Joey: Look at me, it's like... It's like I'm crying! These tears keep coming out and I just wann'em to go back it, it's like I'm crying! I'm CRYING! UGH!"
 * And then, directly after this:

"Sally: ...AND IT'S ONLY WHEN THE SILVER AND THE NITROGEN FIND ALL THREE OXYGEN MOLECULES THAT THEY'RE ABLE TO SOLVE THE CASE!!!"
 * Nature Abhors a Virgin:
 * Joey, who desperately tries to lose his virginity because of this stigma.
 * The Pussy Council does not allow Miss Cooter to speak because no one with a hymen intact is allowed to.
 * Noodle Implements: Sally's proposed science project.


 * No Sparks: Joey and Vanessa. More specifically, Dick and Flopsy.
 * Oblivious to Love: Vanessa is oblivious to Joey who in turn is oblivious to Sally.
 * Pair the Spares: Biggest example being Tiffany and Weenie
 * Precision F-Strike: Heart.
 * Raging Stiffie: Of course.
 * Really Gets Around: Tiffany, bordering on Anything That Moves.
 * Refuge in Audacity: Ties with My Balls on Intentionally Awkward Title.
 * Ridiculously Average Guy: Joey Richter as himself, although there are plenty of fangirls who disagree.
 * Running Gag: Salad Sally.
 * "That's me, the Old Snatch".
 * Single-Target Sexuality: Once a body part finds a match with another it is very hard for them to get with someone else. Dick can't get with anyone but Miss Cooter, Flopsy can't get with anyone but Rick's dick, and The Old Snatch falls for  and all the sex she had after turned her into a nasty, well, old snatch.
 * Shout-Out
 * Several in-references to A Very Potter Musical:
 * Tiffany has the sword of Godric Gryffindor in her sex toy box (possibly referred to later in the description of the ?)
 * Vanessa tells Flopsy that "Every time I see him I get these pains in my chest" - the almost identical thing Ron says about Hermione
 * Ron/Joey's headband, anyone?
 * While You Were Sleeping
 * "And if we're all in this together you can bet on it we're breaking free!"
 * "Sometimes, the one you love turns out to be the person you initially disliked!" is a reference to a truly terrible poster for a campus production of Pride and Prejudice.
 * Of course there'll be a shout out to Dick In A Box. In the very first part.
 * The line about "dancing a waltz to a song in 4/4 time" is a Take That to Enchanted, where the exact same thing occurs during the scene at the ball.
 * The Old Snatch's manner of speaking--i.e. making nearly every word plural, whether it's a verb or not--is a reference to a minor character in Futurama.
 * In classic Team Starkid style, Spider-Man.
 * Sickeningly Sweethearts: Vanessa and Rick.
 * Sophisticated As Hell: "Joseph Michael Richter, you are a real piece of work. Let me tell you something: I've seen a lot of proposals in my day, Joey, but never have I seen such a pathetic bumblefuck as what occurred out there in the hallway."
 * "The hour is nigh."
 * Southern Belle: Miss Cooter. Devin Lytle playing these is a Creator in Joke.
 * Stealth Pun: The Old Snatch has been with every member of the football team.
 * Triang Relations: At first it is a Type 5 scenario, with Sally as Alice, Joey as Bob, and Vanessa as Claire. However, this is no longer the case once Joey "comes around" to return Sally's affections.
 * Two-Act Structure: The first act is strange, what with it's Bizarre Alien Biology, but its plot is mostly a straight forward High School soap. The second act, however, takes a deep nosedive into the absurd with a mystical land for lost penises, a pussy council, and flying vaginas.
 * Victorious Childhood Friend:
 * Virginity Flag: Not on Sally herself, but on her Miss Cooter, who wears a flower.
 * Visual Pun: Many of the vaginas, characterised as fancily-dressed women, are seen sporting pearl necklaces. See also Virginity Flag, above.
 * You Have to Have Jews: Vanessa