A Death to Remember

A Death to Remember is a Twilight fanfic... Kind of. It started out as a seeming My Immortal parody, with a Tsundere Sue main character, named Appyllyna Phorc Twyggstarr. In Parody Sue convention, Edward Cullem (or however the author chooses to spell it this time around) is inexplicably in love with her, but she reacts to his advances with increasing violence. However, as the story continues, it becomes less of a Twilight fanfic, and more of a crossover with everything you can think of.

The author goes by the screenname of PyromaniacalCadaver, who seems to be two people: one, referred to as Meck, and one known as Carli. They have distinct writing styles; Meck's is shorter and much more random, though it has some truly hilarious one-liners, while Carli's is more descriptive and tends to contain more Shout Outs. There is a third person who seems to know the two, identified as Kelly or Eastmangirl, who is the story's most dedicated flamer, though she recently entered the ideas challenge for it, claiming that Meck blackmailed her.

It can be read in all its glory here.


 * And There Was Much Rejoicing: Granted, Appyllyna doesn't actually celebrate Mons' death, but she's perfectly happy to take on her killer as a new sidekick.
 * Awesome McCoolname: Appyllyna Phorc Twyggstarr.
 * Bilingual Bonus: Blind Idiot Translation is expected, but you need to know what the Russian and Chinese actually mean to fully appreciate it.
 * Blind Idiot Translation: The only correctly-identified foreign text in the fic is the Latin near the beginning.
 * Cluster F-Bomb: The entire fic.
 * Dropped a Bridge on Him: Mons dies when a rock falls out of the sky and hits her on the head. She is a half-vampire.
 * "It was a FUCKING ROCK! WHAT THE FUCK!"
 * Eye Scream: It starts with Edward getting a lit cigarette ground into his eye, then it all goes downhill from there.
 * Gorn: One of the recent chapters is even called "GURO".
 * I'm a Humanitarian: At one point, Meck writes a list of things she wants to eat. All of them are eyes.
 * Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Pyromaniacal Cadaver.
 * Ninja Pirate Robot Zombie: "I was really a powerful vegan ninja who trained with the mafia. I also had magical powers."
 * Non-Human Sidekick: Pyrite.
 * Mammie, the Mammoth.
 * Shout-Out: God, where to start?
 * In one chapter, Appyllyna steals the TARDIS.
 * Multiple references to Axis Powers Hetalia, including Rome's song.
 * "i kidnapped her and ran off with her, kinda like in National Treasure."
 * Pyrite's whole existence seems to be a shout out to Snake And Bacon.
 * In chapter 18, Appyllyna and The Corinthian have an eye party.
 * "That's not my bodyguard, that's mai waifu."
 * It referenced Ecce Romani. The Latin textbook.
 * Parody Sue: There's no way it isn't a troll.
 * Talk Like a Pirate: Pyrite, the Pirate.