Texts From Bennett



"These are text messages I exchange with my 17 year old cousin Bennett. He is a white boy that thinks he's a Crip, is currently unemployed, has a girlfriend named Mercedes, and is one of the most unintentionally funny and brilliant souls on the planet."

"By the way, this blog is 100% real.

-- Mac"

As you may know, teenagers living in The New Tens get bad press from pretty much everyone. The criticisms? Some complain about their attitudes and general lack of respect. Others call them illiterate and lazy. Still more cite teens' obsession with sex as the sign of a degrading society. Then, of course, you get a vocal few who simply throw their hands up in the air and blame Hip-Hop.

Is any of this true? Maybe.

...Especially maybe if you're Bennett.

What began as a low-key Tumblr blog recounting the musings and misadventures of the author's young, wannabe-gangsta cousin skyrocketed to viral fame as viewers realized that Bennett's antics were a lot funnier than expected. As of early 2012, Texts From Bennett has a massive Face Book and Twitter following, as well as its own merchandise. You can find it here.

Now if only we could be sure whether the whole thing is made up or not...

This work provides examples of:
"Bennett: A bitch with out big tittys is like a little Wayne song cuz i ain’t lissenin to it…"
 * Buxom Is Better:

"Bennett: i jus found a kittin do U think i cud sell dis lil mafucca to a chinesse buffay?"
 * Eat the Dog:

"Bennett: i act like im a jonis brother.i got a puredy ring and all deez sluts r tryen to take my virgenety
 * Forbidden Fruit:

...

Bennett Jonis my nigga"


 * Gang Bangers: Bennett thinks he's one of these; reality begs to differ.
 * Insane Troll Logic
 * The Merch: Don't even lie like you wouldn't want a Hustla Da Rabbit t-shirt.
 * Apparently, the proceeds go to Bennett's mom. Maybe.
 * N Word Privileges: Priveleges? What privileges?
 * Zany Scheme