David Icke

David Icke (last name pronounced the same as "Ike") is a prolific British author who believes that international finance and governments are run by interdimensional lizards who subsist on human suffering. He started his career as a goalkeeper for Coventry, retired young due to injuries and arthritis, spent several years as a successful BBC sports presenter, briefly claimed to be Jesus, or something of that sort, and then returned to his senses and started writing on the conspiracy by Half Human Hybrids in our governments and banks to keep us all slaves of extradimensional lizards.

It's easy to make fun of him, but he might be onto something. After all, Nancy Pelosi was very obviously hatched from an egg, and no one has ever held le Baron de Rothschild down for long enough to extract a DNA sample. You don't really think the Bilderberg Group, the Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, and the International Monetary Fund are working in your best interests, do you? (hint: Of course they're not. You don't need to be a conspiracy theorist to realize those organisations' goals are to favor the socio-economic agenda they think will be more favorable to them and theirs. Human nature doesn't need evil lizards to make it act bastardly.)

His published books include:
 * Heal the World: A Do-It-Yourself Guide to Personal and Planetary Transformation
 * Alice in Wonderland and the World Trade Center Disaster
 * Tales from the Time Loop: The Most Comprehensive Expos of the Global Conspiracy Ever Written and All You Need to Know to Be Truly Free

Though David Icke is all but ignored by the mainstream, his theories have inspired many cult film and comic hits. The Invisibles retains much of Icke's cosmology and terminology, and The Matrix shows some clear influences from both. Ultimate Marvel's version of the Skrulls, the Chitauri, are taken from Icke's theories. Though theories about Ancient Astronauts go back as far as 4000BC in the Rig Veda, Icke has revitalized the genre. References to his works are pervasive on conspiracy and UFO forums. MetaHistory.org raises it almost to the level of religion, weaving Ickian (Icky?) cosmology with ancient Christian Gnosticism.

He also has DVDs and hundreds of hours of radio programming. His personal website can be found here, but be ye warned - here there be dragons Reptilians.


 * Alien Abduction; According to Icke, abduction experiences are, at their basis, spiritual phenomenea rather than physical. The extradimensionals require a physical counterpart in order to manipulate physical matter directly; thus grey aliens serve as dolls through which the Annunanki Reptilians can act in the physical universe. Primarily the Reptilians find it easier to interact with humans on the psychological or spiritual level, and full abductions are much rarer than induced hallucination.
 * Alien Geometries: UFOs don't travel through space or time as we know it.
 * All Myths Are True: And they're all aliens.
 * Ancient Astronauts: Who do you think built the Pyramids?
 * Ancient Conspiracy: Goes back to Sumeria, at least. David Icke has a gift for drawing from disparate sources of mythology and combining them into a single artful narrative.
 * Artistic License Biology: He claims this video about Swine Flu vaccine that humans already have a really strong immune system, which is true on its own, but he says the vaccines stop it from developing if applied to children under the age of 2. Please don't look at the comments, they are full of ignorance.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: Even if he's right. Especially if he's right.
 * Conspiracy Theorist
 * Crossover Cosmology: What do Annunanki, faerie, prieta, djinn, succubi, and gray aliens all have in common? They're the same creatures as interpreted through the lens of a person's culture and time period.
 * Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: A television station once pitted Icke against a university psychiatrist in an attempt to dismiss his theories with the label of "crazy." Icke responded by demonstrating that his fears of censorship and persecution were totally justified and humiliated the psychiatrist completely.
 * Emotion Eater: The Reptilians (Annunanki, et c.) literally require human suffering to survive, and so engineer war and poverty to maintain their supply.
 * Even Crazy Has Standards Even Alex Jones thinks the reptile thing is crazy.
 * Genetic Memory: Bloodlines are very important to the ruling cabal as they are trying to keep their hybrid genetic structure intact. This is why royalty intermarries.
 * Half-Human Hybrid
 * Human Sacrifice: On a truly massive scale; wars are rituals conducted to brainwash humans into dying for their Reptilian overlords.
 * The Mockbuster: What, V|reptilian aliens are disguising themselves as high-profile humans and trying to take over the world? Oh yeah, that's real original, Icke.
 * The Multiverse
 * New World Order: The Reptilians are trying to establish a totalitarian planetary government by Hegelian dialectic. Problem-reaction-solution techniques manipulate humanity with fear and by preying on their darkest instincts, causing them to engineer the chains of their own servitude.
 * Only Sane Man: At least, how he sees himself. Compared to some of his critics, he might even be right.
 * Physical God: Averted. For all their astral power, the Reptilians require dolls like the alien Greys or hybrid human hosts in order to interact with the material plane.
 * ...Wait a minute. If they're not material, how can they be reptilian?
 * Also, how could they interbreed with humans then anyway?
 * Beginning to see how off his rocker he is?
 * The theory is actually that they can only enter our dimension briefly, and during that time they appear as reptilians. They allegedly use the hybrid humans as more permanent links to the third dimension. The idea that they are able to interbreed with humanity comes from the theory that they manipulated our DNA to be compatible with theirs in ancient times.
 * Properly Paranoid: During a visit to Canada, Icke was subject to an actual conspiracy, which backfired quite spectacularly: see Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass and the link under Only Sane Man.
 * The Reptilians / Reptiles Are Abhorrent: ...Yeah, pretty obvious.
 * Space Jews: What some of his critics have accused the reptoids of being, what with them creeping into high position of power. Icke himself, when confronted with these allegations, was reportedly genuinely baffled.
 * Actually, he's also been accused that his Reptilian overlords (from the lower fourth dimension) as being metaphors for actual Jews as well. He's equally baffled by this one - when he says "interdimensional lizards," he seems to really mean interdimensional lizards. Twelve foot tall interdimensional lizards, no less.
 * It doesn't help his case that he made some speeches and conferences for known racist groups, as he wasn't very choosy in his zeal to "expose the truth". Supposedly, it never crossed his mind that said groups would then twist his ideas to fit their own agenda. Quoting The Protocols of the Elders of Zion (even though he believed they were mistaken in targeting the Jews) wasn't exactly genius either.
 * Nor did it help when he claimed that Hitler was a 'Jewish Rothschild' and that the Holocaust was a Jewish plot to steal Palestine from the Arabs (some would probably agree with that last bit, from their point of view at least).
 * Jon Ronson, of The Men Who Stare At Goats fame, looked at the "Lizards = Jews" idea in an episode of his documentary series Secret Rulers Of The World, joining up with a group who were convinced Icke was a closet anti-Semite and wanted to make sure everyone knew it. Ronson disagreed, saying he was fairly sure that when Icke talked about Lizards From Space, he really meant Lizards From Space. Although the protesting group could point to favourable reviews of Icke's books by anti-Semitic organisations that believed the same thing, ultimately their protests seemed only to actually increase awareness of Icke. The episode is currently available on YouTube.
 * Sufficiently Advanced Aliens
 * Vichy Earth: Believes this trope to be Truth in Television.