The Tale of the Exile



It was supposed to be a simple job.

Get in, get the goods, retire rich. Simple, right? Then my idiot partner screws things up. I mean, what kind of thief brings a lit candle on a burglary? When I blew it out, he screamed as if I'd stabbed him, and suddenly I'm on trial for attempted murder! Why are the people of Miir so afraid of the dark, anyway?

But I found a loophole in a punishment called "Exile."\x9D For one week I get turned out on the streets after dark, alone and unarmed, and have to fend for myself. That doesn't seem too hard. In a week I'll pick this place clean!

Oh, sure, there's supposed to be some sort of "Shadows" who will make my life miserable. There's rumors of goblins hunting the alleys, streets that don't lead the same place twice, spirits who possess the dead, decadent nobles who play with people's lives for sport, a circus that transforms men into monsters, and worse. I'm told the last Exile was found with his eyes gouged out and strange writing in blood on the walls around his corpse.

But you expect to hear that kind of stuff in a city as superstitious as Miir. Really, it's only a week.

How bad could it be?

The Tale of The Exile is a story being told one line at a time via the social networking site Twitter by TV Trope's own The Stray. Also collected here.

""And what lesson may you learn? Well, we hope that you will take away the knowledge that even the twisted ones have useful talents. But as I am afraid such enlightenment may be lost to those born to privilege, several of your peers have generously provided alternatives.""
 * Absurdly Spacious Sewer -- The Belly of Miir.
 * Action Survivor -- Gaven.
 * Aristocrats Are Evil -- The nobles of Miir are essentially the mafia in overt control of everything
 * Big Bad -- The Shadows.
 * Bishie Sparkle -- Jereth seems to have this going on (though it could be a hallucination), and this is apparently a stereotype about elves in Miir.
 * Black Eyes of Evil -- Most of The Shadows have these, if they have eyes at all.
 * Boxed Crook -- Jereth's plan for Gaven is this.
 * Buried Alive -- During the Third Night.
 * Butt Monkey -- Gaven Morren. Oh so much fun to torment.
 * Character Twitter -- Though it's the actual story, not a supplement.
 * Circus of Fear -- Le Cirque d'Abberations.
 * City Noir -- Miir
 * Clap Your Hands If You Believe --
 * Combat Pragmatist -- Gaven tends to use whatever is at hand when he fights. Dragon claws, a horn full of black gunpowder, a shard of glass, and other items have been put to dangerous use in his hands.
 * Cosmic Plaything -- Becoming an Exile turns you into one of these, as Gaven quickly discovers.
 * Couldn't Find a Pen --
 * Dark World -- Miir isn't a pleasant place by day, but it gets infinitely worse after midnight.
 * Darkness Equals Death
 * Daydream Surprise / Indulgent Fantasy Segue --
 * Deadpan Snarker -- Gaven, when he's not running around in pants-wetting terror, is this. He could snark about his own death.
 * The Dreaded -- The Shadows to the people of Miir, The Hangman to Gaven himself.
 * Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette -- Jessamine, with elements of Stringy-Haired Ghost Girl. Naros Miir also has this.
 * Emotion Bomb -- The primary weapon of The Shadows.
 * Emotion Eater -- The Shadows,
 * Escape From the Crazy Place -- The premise of the series.
 * Evil Tower of Ominousness -- The Tower of Miir
 * Evilly Affable -- Jereth Dythanus
 * The Fair Folk -- The elves of House Dythanus, The Shadows.
 * Fantastic Drug -- The Elisdee Lily, also known as Dreamlily, causes vivid hallucinations.
 * First-Person Smartass -- Gaven.
 * Fluffy the Terrible -- The Redcaps, horrible hungry imp-goblins with wide mouths filled with really sharp teeth, have childish names like Billy, Bobby, or Robin.
 * Genre Savvy -- Despite falling for Exile, Gaven quickly learns to trust his more cynical instincts.
 * Genius Loci -- They say that the City of Miir is alive.
 * The Grotesque -- The Caliban of Le Cirque d'Aberrations play up their hideousness for their shows, but most of them would be normal people without their magic-induced deformities.
 * Glasgow Grin -- The Jester has one of these as a magically-induced deformity.
 * Groin Attack -- "Ringing the family bells."
 * Guns Are Worthless -- or at least the one Gaven finds is.
 * Hannibal Lecture -- Some of the Shadows, notably Despair, are fond of this as a form of Mind Rape.
 * Living Shadow -- Despair, oh so very much. Most of the rest of The Shadows don't actually fit this, though they are made of air.
 * Low Fantasy
 * Malevolent Architecture -- Miir.
 * Mirror Monologue -- During the Third night, Gaven finds himself unable to recognize himself in reflections he sees. The Shadows use this to either to encourage him onward (The Shadow of Exile) or taunt him about his failings (Despair).
 * Mobile Maze -- The streets of Miir become these at the whims of The Shadows.
 * Monster Clown -- The Jester
 * Mushroom Samba -- The Third Night has Gaven poisoned with Elisdee extract.
 * Our Goblins Are Wickeder -- The Redcaps, also called gremlins or "tiny giggling death on very swift legs."
 * Powers That Be -- The Shadows.
 * Rage Against the Reflection -- Gaven does this accidentally, smashing a mirror because he's unable to recognize his own reflection while high on Elisdee.
 * Shadowland
 * Schrodinger's Butterfly --
 * Sliding Scale of Anti-Heroes -- Gaven falls somewhere between Disney Anti Hero and Anti Hero As Loser.
 * Shout-Out -- Several.
 * The names of several of the Noble Houses: House Von Hastur, House Dythanus, and House Von Krueger
 * One of Gaven's encounters with the Bullyboys is an homage to "Uneasy Rider"
 * Jereth Dythanus, complete with his Eighties Hair and Slouch of Villainy.
 * Shrouded in Myth -- Depending on who you ask, The Shadows are either ghosts, demons, stories come to life, fairies, a metaphor for the evil in men's hearts, or the wicked thoughts of God made manifest.
 * The Spock -- Aelia, to Gaven's McCoy.
 * Stealth Insult -- The Jester is fond of these:
 * The Spock -- Aelia, to Gaven's McCoy.
 * Stealth Insult -- The Jester is fond of these:


 * Stealth Mentor --
 * Stealth Pun -- The Elven Godmother.
 * Tempting Fate -- "It's only a week. How bad could it be?"
 * Through the Eyes of Madness -- Gaven's Mushroom Samba turns into this as the night goes on.
 * Trash Talk --Gaven vs. the Bullyboys.
 * Trickster Archetype -- The Jester
 * Trying to Catch Me Fighting Dirty -- Gaven again.
 * Twitter
 * Unusual Euphemism -- "Dragon Dung" for "Bullshit". Also, Ringing the family bells.
 * The Watson -- Gaven again, usually to his companion of the evening.
 * Weak but Skilled -- Gaven isn't a powerhouse, but he's good at what he's learned how to do.
 * White-Haired Pretty Boy -- Jereth Dythanus
 * White-Haired Pretty Girl -- Aelia Dythanus
 * Word of God -- TV Troper The Stray, who wrote this story, is the one who has written all of these entries. Even this one, referring to himself in the third person.
 * World Half Empty -- Miir is a bad place.
 * The Von Trope Family -- Half the noble houses of Miir have a Von as part of their name. Definitely the Darker Von Trope variant.