Misfits (TV series)/Funny

"Sam:"You're breaking up with me with a line from Spider Man?!""
 * While you do have some sympathy for Sam, you've got to laugh at Curtis' attempts to break up with her without making her cry.

"Nathan: "It's just pure, mindless vandalism!"
 * Also, Nathan creating a ridiculous distraction to prevent Sally from finding the "incriminating items" in her car-boot by hurling a brick at her windscreen and being as obnoxious about it as possible:

Sally: "What is the matter with you! Are you mentally deficient?!"

Nathan: "If I was mentally deficient, I would've missed! Check that out...bullseye!""

"Nathan: Alright, I'll give you a clue -- I'm an annoying cunt!
 * "Save Me Barry!"
 * Nathan's impression of Bono, which prompts this reaction when no-one gets it:

Alisha: Yeah, we know that."

"Simon: For the first time in my life, I feel like I belong. I´ve never been this happy.
 * Nathan's riot in the bowling alley, culminating in the stapler attack.
 * Simon and Kelly's dancing in episode 2.
 * From the same episode, Nathan pushing a little old lady in a wheelchair across the dance floor- only to let her go rolling out the door when he notices Ruth.
 * Nathan trying to chat up Ruth- only to end up getting blocked by an old lady wanting to dance. Cue Nathan furiously mouthing "fuck off" at her.
 * "SHE'S STEALING YOUR PENSION!"
 * Simon asking Alisha if she 'likes food.'
 * Nathan explaining what happened when he told his mum he's immortal.
 * These admittedly rather macabre lines between Simon and Lucy:

Lucy: You´ve murdered your probation worker!

Simon: I didn´t say it was perfect."

"Nathan: Oh hey man, Cornettos!"
 * Nathan again, as the crew stare down at in the freezer. He is making a comment about how messed up it is until...

"Nathan: You hit him in the head with a toaster!
 * Cut to the group throwing Sally's body off a boat... while Nathan eats a Cornetto.
 * The entire exchange between Nathan and  about hitting   in the head with a toaster.

Jamie: He's a fucking twat!"

"Nathan's Dad: Like you've never got anything wrong? We're not so different, y'know.
 * Nathan and his dad have a row in the police station about each others personal flaws.

Nathan: We are completely different! I'm gracefully tall, you're freakishly short!"

"Nathan: Where're you going? That's right Dad, walk away with your tiny little legs, you fucking midget!"
 * and then later, when Nathan's Dad starts to leave...

"Nathan: And you know what they say: don't fuck a wounded bear!"
 * and when Nathan imparts to his father a bit of wisdom:

"Nathan: He's like a handsome shark!
 * Every scene about  in S 02 E 03.

Even better is Nathan: "How can I control myself when you're so cute and I'm so horny and there's only a few thin pieces of cotton separating our genitals?""

"Simon: We kill him. (beat) .... I'm joking."
 * On discussing with the rest of the Misfits on what to do with the new guy Ollie, Simon's deadpan response is hilarious.

"Tim: Where's Conti?!
 * Nathan's exchange with Tim.

Nathan: *gestures to Simon* Oh that's him, he's a right cunty."

"Ollie: It's ok. I've had some training in conflict resolution * BOOM Headshot! *"
 * New guy Ollie's attempt in talking down the armed and unbalanced Tim

"Nathan: The Good Samaritan: Walk on by!"
 * Nathan completely misunderstanding the story of the Good Samaritan.

"Nathan: Think about it! It´s a fancy dress party, it´s dark, a lot´ll be wearing masks - it´s the perfect opportunity to commit murder! *thinks about it* And incest!!"
 * "A bunch of young offenders develop superpowers, and not one of us thinks of using them to commit crime! Shame on us!"
 * Nathan again in ep. 5.

"Simon: You're exploiting the vulnerable.
 * This exchange between the gang and Luke, the corrupt priest in the Christmas Special.

Kelly: Taking money off people.

Alisha: Sexually assaulting girls.

Luke: Hey, that's the Catholic Church for you.

Nathan: He's got a point. When I was growing up in Ireland if the priests weren't fiddling with you, you were one of the ugly kids."

"Marnie: ( Proudly ) And then we're going to kick the shit out of Jesus!"
 * From the same episode, everything about Marnie giving birth, but particularly Nathan stomping to death what he thought was an alien baby.
 * Marnie bless her when shes hears the plan to

"Kelly: Twenty fuckin' grand!
 * And when they finally manage to do so- by accident, and, Nathan immediately takes a wad of bills and makes the sign of the cross over "Jesus'" prone body. "Just in case it really is him!"
 * Curtis counter argument regarding the selling of his powers..

Simon: You sold your powers?

Kelly: Yeah mate.

Simon: You shouldn't be doing this. We were given them for a reason!

Nikki: And what reason's that?

Curtis: I'll give you twenty thousand reasons for getting rid of 'em!

Simon: It's like in Superman 2 when Superman gives up his powers so that he can be with Lois Lane.

Kelly: And?

Simon:General Zod took over the world!

Curtis: That's totally relevant, except there ain't no General Zod, and that's twenty thousand pounds. Later."

"Nathan: I mean we did sod all with our powers but at least we never abused them. We never raped or murdered anyone.
 * Curtis earns his Deadpan Snarker stripes this episode as well.

Curtis: ( Points to Alisha ) She raped me. And we killed loads of people."

"Nathan:"
 * Bonus is Alisha giving him a look that is a mix of what are you complaining about and get over it.
 * In S2 E6, when Laura  asks 'Is there anything else I need to know ?' ... and unfortunately get answers
 * Well, Nathan tripled with a girl and Kelly shagged
 * In S2E2, while Nathan and Jamie are talking, Nathan is grilling a sandwich. With a clothes iron. This troper and her mother burst into laughter.
 * In Season 2 Episode 6, Nathan  and the credits roll with the title of the special:   with credits rolling.
 * Nathan in the "Vegas Special" gets caught out on using his new ability  to win at dice   What does he do to distract the guards after they corner him during his attempt to escape?

"Shaun: "You are aware homosexuality is illegal?""
 * Season 3 Episode 3
 * Every scene with Rudy in. EVERY ONE.
 * Simon and Curtis' 'therapy session' in Series 3, episode 2.
 * Rudy explaining his relation to Curtis in the Nazi timeline when Curtis' bar is raided by Shaun and his Nazi squad. First he says he's Curtis' gay lover, and then his cousin.

"Nathan: "I just realised. I haven't died this week."
 * Curtis wanking as a girl. And Simon and Alisha in the scene. It's best if you just watch it.
 * The attempt to smuggle Jen's body out of the hospital, which involves Simon and Seth wheeling her bed out the door while trying to look as noncholant as possible. Extra hilarity points go to Rudy distracting a nurse by asking about his prolapsed granny, and frantically mouthing "fuck off" at Simon and Seth.
 * Alisha after she bashes in a zombie cheerleader's head with a baseball bat repeatedly: "Do you still want me to dress up as a cheerleader for your birthday?"
 * This exchange:

Simon: "It's only Thursday, there's still time.""

"Alisha: He's not gay, he's the best shag I ever had!
 * Season 3, Episode 3 delivers a triple whammy.
 * Under the influence of mind control, Simon has dumped Alisha; meanwhile, Rudy is being as unhelpful as possible by claiming that Simon's gay.

Curtis: Oh, I'll just pretend I'm not here, yeah?"

"Rudy: I'm in full control over me ejaculate, now.
 * And...

Kelly: All blokes say that; next thing you know, you've got cum all over your face and in your hair.

Curtis: That's a lovely image."

"Rudy: You're deflecting. It's alright; take it out on your Uncle Rudy. Do it-
 * Alisha has had enough of Rudy's nonsense and just hit him.

( Alisha slaps Rudy to the ground and storms off)

Rudy: What the fuck is your problem?!

Kelly: She's deflecting."