Magical Girl Noir Quest

"You are a Magical Girl."

- Deculture

4chan has these things called Quest threads. Quest Threads started on /tg/, but now Quest Threads have their own board. It's (kind of like) a game, where OP is the Game Master and the other people on the thread try to pick what the character does. Either by picking from the options OP provided or coming up with their own. OP is then free to do whatever he likes, but hopefully goes with the answer that has the most support. There aren't inherently any real game mechanics, so it might be somewhat comparable to a Choose Your Own Adventure type of thing.

Magical Girl Noir Quest (here after will be referred to as MGNQ) has an OP that goes by the alias "Deculture" (Occasionally "Protoculture", e.g. thread 85 . Deculture is often referred to as "Decu"). MGNQ is primarily based off Puella Magi Madoka Magica and it's spin offs. It it's share of of Shout Outs and Cross Overs. MGNQ is one of the longest running 4chan Quests. It started in 2012 and has over 300 threads.

In MGNQ, for most threads, the protagonist is Homura (often referred to as Chiaki or Murderface). Some of the posts, particularly those not by Deculture, are NSFW. Deculture's posts are a rather reliable source of entertainment and the posts they are responding give context that make them easier to understand. Other posts are both less reliable and arguably less important (but might be necessary to get some of the jokes that Deculture slips in).

If viewed as a story, then only Deculture's posts and the posts he is responding to really count. This is a rather easy mindset to adopt if you binge the archives as they are the ones of any story consequence and it cuts down on time. If quest threads are viewed more like a game that people participated in, then there is possible merit to the other posts counting too, regardless of if it impacted the story.

If you want to read it here you go. Unfortunately, a lot of the links in replies are kinda dead. If the image thumbnails arn't working in a thread, you can try finding the same thread here assuming it was made on /tg/ and not /qst/ (although this method isn't perfect, e.g. trying this doesn't get you all of thread 206)

"What, did you suddenly turn into a fucking VEGAN on me or something? Is fresh meat too good for you? Do we have to have a discussion about the food's FEELINGS?"
 * A Day in the Limelight: Chiaki isn't always the protagonist. Playing as Kyubey is of particular note in terms of this trope.
 * Aggressive Negotiations: Malal, Kharn’s aide, repeatedly stated that meeting with the 3rd officio was walking into a trap. In the actual meeting, after both sides refused to budge, at least on the issue of handing over Mami, the leader of the 3rd officio revealed her weapon. Then then still no budging. Then Kharn contacted her incubator, verbally told him that she was going to kill everyone in the building [presumably excluding her retinue], without so much as excusing herself or keeping her voice down..
 * Air Vent Passageway: Deculture didn’t offer this, and when someone proposed it as a substitute chimney, and it got support, Deculture broke character to make it clear that they thought it was a stupid idea, but still rolled with it because it was christmas.
 * All Part of the Show: When Chiaki defeated some Magical Girls in a stadium during an idol concert.
 * Amnesiac Hero: Well, Amnesiac protagonist at the very least. Murderface in fact has amnesia multiple times.
 * Anti-Magic: Culexus. They also make Magical Girls sick when they are around them. The ninth officio puts them in suits that dampens the effects, but also increases their lifespan and gives them more control over their abilities. Even so, even when they wear the suits, they still often make Magical Girls near them queasy. That said, Culexus can do magic things other than magic (like predict the future). Silent Rooms to a large extent disable magic while they are on. One of them has had it's effect's potency compared to a typical Culexus, which suggests parallels in effect. However, a silent room has also been used to repress a Culexus's Power Incontinence (And it's not clear that Culexus's are particularly harmful to other culexus).
 * Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Some no name rank and file Venenum thought Chiaki was asking for a kiss. Chiaki at this point wields a ridiculous amount of authority and the Venenum was quite possibly obliged to indulge Chiaki. The Venenum was even in a relationship! This power imbalance was probably to the Venenum's liking as it gave her an excuse for doing something sexual with someone that wasn't her partner. To her disappointment, Chiaki shoved her away. Chiaki was just asking for water.
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: When Chiaki decides to dual wield gold weapons first time (that are not a pair), she was expecting her to gain some attribute she affiliated with Kharn. The last possibility was getting an "irritating" russian accent.
 * Asskicking Equals Authority: Not strictly the case, but not entirely averted either. In regular Officios, in order to be eligible for the position of Warmaster, the Magical Girl has to be among the most powerful in the Officio. Similarly Rank Leaders (of combat ranks at least) are among the most powerful Magical Girls in their Officio of that rank. Despite Kyoko's combat prowess, she wasn't much of a contender for Rank Leader because she isn't necessarily the sharpest knife in the drawer, it doesn't help much that she is implied to have more observant than she lets people pick up on (keeping your merit hidden from even your boss is a good way to not get promoted).
 * Badass Crew: Kharn with her 2 person retinue: Malal and Murderface. Together they decimated the 3rd officio.
 * Bastard Girlfriend: Presumably this is what Midori was going for with the character Murder Mayumi. Wendy doesn't see the appeal, not that she would know from reading it first hand.
 * Bland-Name Product: Chirpee (Twitter)
 * Break Them by Talking: Midori got a violent Kharn's attention by slapping her twice, and then made Kharn withdraw by chewing her out.
 * Bring My Brown Pants: Some executive wets himself when Chiaki is questioning him and his coworkers.
 * Broken Pedestal: Sayaka doesn't like Kirishima Ruri after meeting her. She warms back up to Ruri though.
 * Call a Human a Meatbag: Barbra does this, except it refers to "unaugmented Magical Girls" not humans.
 * Call Back: Meta example. See Rouge Angles of Satin entry
 * Cargo Ship: Wendy and some of the at least some of the Clara Dolls have accused Chiaki for having sexual or romantic feelings towards her chair. The chair has been described as "luscious", having "succulent curves" and the option to "reunite with [sic]" it in the presence of the dolls before they started hurling accusations included an explicit apathy towards the dolls watching.
 * Chainsaw Good: Kharn’s weapon
 * Colonel Kilgore: Kharn wanted a war. She thought it would be fun. Also add some history to the city that would be inevitably devastated in the crossfire. She didn’t want one enough to ask her boss. That is until felt she had a good reason too at least. At which point she was chomping at the bit (to be fair, once she had a reason, the war was the means, not the ends).
 * Colossus Climb: Chiaki did this in the Akashic Realm.
 * Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are: Something hunts Midori and Madoka, or at least Madoka, while they are in a Witch Barrier together. While there are 2 potentially viable ways of fighting back, they each seem to have their own risk. Madoka fighting could bring down the barrier, which could hurt Homura. Summoning Tiny Pete might have Pete attack Madoka. So fighting is a last resort.
 * Comically Missing the Point: Pinky doesn't see any difference between eating Magical Girls and eating animals

"You've made great friends by meeting people and beating the living shit out of them. Win or lose, there'd be a closeness to the both of you now that not even sex probably could emulate. ...Well, no, you're not too sure. You've never done that before anyway."
 * Conservation of Ninjutsu: Kharn’s retinue was able to wipe out the 98 members of the 3rd officio without too much trouble. The last 2 members present put up more of a fight. Also there was the time Girl-A killed 21 Eversors.
 * Cool and Unusual Punishment: Actually not played for laughs. See Death Notification.
 * Deadly Euphemism: Giving a person a "vindicare makeover" seems to mean shooting that person, perhaps with additional constraints such as it being a headshot or in the face.
 * Death Notification: Chiaki during her tenure as Warmaster personally signed letters that are sealed in black envelopes. On at least one occasion, she had a squad deliver them in person as disciplinary action.
 * Defeat Means Friendship: How Malal made some friends

"You are a Magical Girl, and you're currently feeding pancakes to an Eldritchian Horror sitting on your lap."
 * Destination Defenestration: A Erebus tackled Kharn from the top floor of a 50 floor building. However it’s probably not a true example as there was no mention of a window and it wasn’t too long ago that a hole was blasted into the wall.
 * Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?:

"I have high hopes for our new recruit. Call it a hunch, but she seems like she could take on three eversor squads solo if she felt so inclined"
 * Dirty Business: Some of the things Malal did as part of her plan.
 * While Mami, if anything seems to have too much faith in peoples better nature,
 * Doomed by Canon: We already know some of the deaths of the Walpurgisnacht arc by the times it happens.
 * Dude, Not Funny: Kyuubey sometimes makes jokes. Typically these jokes arn't funny. Towards the beginning of thread 242 he makes a joke that makes Chiaki upset.
 * Everyone Is Gay: Did you expect any different from something that used PMMM as it's base source material? There is one female character who is in a relationship with a guy, and this character has, in no uncertain terms, had a ton of lesbian sex. Sayaka is implied to still have made her wish to benefit Kyosuke, but she is obviously in a relationship with Kyoko. And as for background characters, there is a yuri doujinshi that is very popular inside the company the protagonist works for. And that's not even touching how many named female characters are pining after the protagonist (who is of course also a female). Mami (a character of non-trivial prominence) was mentioned to be in a relationship in a flashback, but the gender was left unspecified, and this potential straightness has caused some bickering in the non-main posts. Guys for their part seem to be straight, but they hardly show up. Presumably averted with Heartcatch squad.
 * Fake-Out Fade-Out: In thread 51, Deculture, or possibly a fake, says that he/she is done for this session. Then we get more Deculture posts in the thread. Also thread 54 (Deculture’s name is spelled wrong).
 * Faking the Dead: Kharn tries to fake Girl-A's death by claiming she executed her, have Malal register Girl A as dead, give her a haircut, and a new name. She then recruits this "new" Magical Girl. When Kyuubi inquires about the "new recruit" with an uncanny resemblance to Girl A, Kharn refused to explicitly say that Girl-A's death was faked, but does say:

"lick her soulgem"
 * False Reassurance: Cavefish tries to reassure Alondight that a particular type of teleporter accident is unlikely on the grounds that the teleporter they are using never had that type of accident before. When asked how big this record is, we get the disturbingly small sample size of "twice".
 * Fantastic Arousal:

"You shouldn't sleep in a Witch Barrier, you know. There's a chance you might not wake up."
 * For the Love of God, Stay Awake!:

"Say the word and this one shall bring you their faces sewn into a cloak, fit and fashionable for any type of social event."
 * Gambit Roulette: Subverted. Malal's plan was chugging along just fine until . Malal didn't even bother to have a contingency. I mean nobody is THAT stupid, so why bother having a contingency for that! Well, she kinda did.
 * Genuine Human Hide: REIKETSU offers to make her good-for-nothing such a garment

"When the deadline finally ticked over - bedlam happened. All five locations gave birth to a grief-crazed abomination, witches that defied categorization - each one stronger and more powerful than the strongest one ever categorized. A fiery giant wielding a terrible spear, upon a hellish, demonic steed. An armored behemoth from the depths, both clawed hands gripping swords the size of skyscrapers. Another, a monster with brilliant amber tentacles sprouting from either side of its oblong head. A towering black mass that clawed at the sky, tendrils of shadow and hate rippling from its skirt. A demonic sun with fangs instead of teeth, and all-consuming despair instead of light. But none of them were Walpurgisnacht. Even as they killed hundreds of Magical Girls and created untold devastation to the parts of the world they spawned on - they were not the amalgamation of Witches that promised to end the world in a gleeful laugh."
 * Give Me a Reason: Nanoha asked Chiaki to give her a reason to destroy Chiaki and her entire officio.
 * Going Commando: All but stated to be the case when Chiaki's outfit becomes the Akuma Homura outfit.
 * Good Angel, Bad Angel: Played With. Starts with a narrator Discussed Trope which leads into a variant
 * Half the Man He Used To Be: At least one Magical Girl was bisected when Kharn and her retinue decimated the 3rd officio
 * Her Codename Was Mary Sue: MM x MM was described by Decu (in a Q&A thing) as the Magical Girl equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey (in other words "trashy" [despite being popular]). The protagonist of it is an obvious self-insert of Midori.
 * Human Sacrifice: Wendy sacrificed a girl in front of an audience.
 * Impossibly Graceful Giant: the giant demon in the Akashic Realm.
 * Inexplicably Identical Individuals: There is some iDOLM@STER crossover. When Hibiki and Kyoko meet Yuma notes how similar they are. Which makes sense since one is practically (or actually) an Expy of the other.
 * In Love with Your Carnage: Part of Wendy's affection towards Chiaki is like this. Killing itself isn't anything special to Wendy. But to Wendy, Chiaki has some sort of special touch that resonates with her. Worth noting, it might be a stretch to call Chiaki a "good character".
 * Kangaroo Court: Mami calls her trial a farce. She also said she did what she was accused of, that she'd do it again, that the judge knew she did it, and that they should abandon the veneer of the process being a legal proceeding and just kill her already.
 * Kneecapping: Chiaki does this a bit.
 * Like a Badass Out of Hell: Malal had a Teleporter Accident that would have left her in what has been described as hell, and she teleported out under her own power.
 * Lovecraft Lite: The Walpurgisnacht arc. Before the actual arc (narratively, not chronologically), we get tastes of that arc here and there.

- Sayaka


 * Of course since it's a flashback, we already know the world didn't end. Kinda dampens the bleakness.
 * To a Liter extent, the rest of the work is this, or at least has it as a backdrop. It is arguably a PMMM fanfic after all.

"[]A cake. To pull swords out of. Or eat. She can be strange with cakes."
 * Merry MAXIMUM CHRISTMAS in Gotham
 * Mind Rape: Yuma searching through Girl A's mind is described as a highly invasive crime of such magnitude that making appropriate amends is impossible.
 * Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Mami tipped Kirika off. Not only did this almost cost her friends their lives, but they didn’t tell Kyubey where the leak was even though they knew (to protect Mami). As a result, as a precautionary measure, Kyubey had the courier service he’d been using to the sword. Specifically Sayaka’s sword.
 * No Range Like Point-Blank Range: Chiaki punched a giant in the eye while wielding a gun in that hand. And then she unloaded her entire magazine into it's head, with her gun in it's head. It's not exactly clear that this was necessary.
 * Or So I Heard: Wendy reads MM x MM, but she claims otherwise.
 * Plank Gag: Chiaki kept smacking Wendy with her new wings.
 * Poke in the Third Eye: The Prophet's group didn't appreciate Haruka watching them. Chiaki had the plug pulled before the attack connected (which might not have been necessary because she shot one of the Mirrors).
 * Powered by a Forsaken Child:
 * Mami's golden musket uses Soul Gems as ammo.
 * Akuma Homura's wings use souls of the damned as fuel.
 * Power Limiter: A Culexus suit lengthens their lifespan and suppress's their abilities. It also let's them focus their abilities. Sabrina who is a Walking Wasteland has had her involuntary abilities that are still somewhat active even in a silent room has been compared to a Culexus and eventually her Officio reached out to the 9th which then helped by supplying her a specially modified Culexus suit.
 * Produce Pelting: Part of Noriko's show is getting tomato's thrown at her.
 * Punishment Detail: With the Death Notification example, Chiaki said she was giving them their first mission.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: Deculture made a typo where Sayaka pulled "a sword from the depths of her cake.". Almost certainly a typo for cape, as there was no indication up to that point Sayaka even had a cake. Someone made this fan art . This later got multiple call backs, the first of which was in the Christmas Special as an option for a gift for Sayaka was:

There might be other cases on Rouge Angles of Satin, but if so, they didn't receive nearly as much attention. "you've woken up with amnesia. The kind third-rate soap opera writers and no-talent hacks use as a cheap plot device to drum up some mystery in the poorly written-schlock they laboriously pull out of their asses."
 * Religion of Evil: There is a religion that worships "The Blessed Lady". Wendy is part of an offshoot of it (Church of the Golden Land) that most Magical Girls would probably regard as a perversion of the religion. Considering that the Blessed Lady is actually a God-Witch, it's possible that this religion (or alternatively sect/branch) is more right than the mainstream one!
 * Resignations Not Accepted: Some officios, such as the 1st, have this as a policy. Kharn is considered retired, but actually works as a security guard in a secret research station in Siberia.
 * Ret Conned: While normally the responses in flashback threads try to avoid paradoxes, it seems they slipped up in one of them (trying to make sure prophecies come true doesn't count). Specifically that in Murderface shot Kyuubey for the first time in Kyuubey's office. In  Girl A shot kyuubey when she was being treated on the medical floor.
 * Rule of Cool: You know the impractical looking Akuma Homura wings? They don't work like regular wings. Functionally they are more like a jetpack that uses souls of the damned as fuel.
 * Saved by Canon: We know who some of the people that are going to survive through the Walpurgisnacht arc are.
 * Screw Destiny:
 * Self Deprecating Humor:

"It's just Walpurgisnacht, you shouted at them."
 * Shout Out (unconfirmed):
 * Eric and the Dread Gazebo: "Gazebos are evil"
 * Metalocalypse: Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake
 * Meduka Meguca: Being an Incubator is suffering.''
 * Girls und Panzer: There is a Panzer IV Ausf.D with an anglerfish on it.
 * Skewed Priorities: Christmas is important. Very important. Nothing is more important than Christmas.


 * Arguably subverted/averted, as Kyoko knows that Walpurgisnacht is dire and wants to do something special while they are all still alive. The sheer peril they are going to be facing is actually why Kyoko cares so much. At what point, if any, are survival and duty less important than enjoying life?

"But of course you don't pick those options. Not when there's something much more important to ask about, here. Something that needs to be asked about right away, and not a moment sooner."
 * Sliding Scale of Free Will Versus Fate: One character said that prophecies can be defied, but what it takes to defy the prophecy is not consistent. If that character is right, then where a prophecy is on the scale is not universal throughout the work (although some like You Can't Fight Fate are never the case).
 * Smoking Hot Sex: In Midori’s dojinshi. Chiaki, a heavy smoker, finds her stand in doing this after sex poor taste.
 * Take That, Audience!:

"It's not as if this is a game or anything..."
 * Teleportation Sickness: Malal vomited after using Kyubey's experimental teleporter.
 * Tears of Blood: When Midori brought Faust to tears.
 * This Is Reality:

"Look, obviously, this is a trap. For fuck's sake, Kharn, they didn't even pretend to ask for a neutral meeting ground. We're going right into the belly of the beast, here. But we don't care, do we?"
 * Tome of Eldritch Lore: Chiaki's journal has the aesthetics of one once she becomes Homucifer. It even came with a child's skull ink cup with blood in it.
 * Trap Is the Only Option: This is how Khan and Malal role. Without even a plan too!

- Malal

"Such books are only meant for the consumption of those much too young to absorb and appreciate proper literary prose, aren't they? I mean, look at them - each page is wrought with exagerrated art! Not enough words in it to form even a single paragraph - just dialogue, nothing else!"
 * Unequal Pairing:
 * Midori and Chiaki. Chiaki's authority over Midori is such that she has a kill switch she can use to kill Midori whenever she chooses.
 * Sayaka and Kyoko, in this case they were presumably equal in the officio hierarchy, but during the quest Sayaka became the boss of all Eversors in the 9th (including Kyoko). That (kinda) didn't last long because shortly thereafter got they each received a promotion, in which Kyoko became Chiaki's aide and Sayaka became Chiaki's Equerry. So while Sayaka still technically outranks Kyoko, Kyoko and Sayaka are likely, in practice, to typically report directly to the same person (Chiaki).
 * Enyo was in love with Raleigh (her commander) and said she was going to confess. That was in a flashback and (as of this writing) their current relationship status hasn't been mentioned.
 * Wacky Cravings: After Kharn gets pregnant she craves weird things, like raw bear meat. Also Played With: She cites craving orange juice with coffee no sugar no vodka as strange.
 * Weirdness Censor: Despite Magical Girls basically working for Private Military Contractors (that typically don't wage war, instead they do things like act as body guards and carry out assassinations) and having information about them on the internet, most people don't realize Magical Girls are a thing. Kyuubey used to have witnesses assassinated, but then he stopped doing this when he realized that he didn't need to because nobody took the witnesses seriously. Iori despite having Chiaki as a bodyguard didn't know she was actually a Magical Girl (until hostilities broke out) and thought Chiaki was just wearing a weird uniform.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not for Kids?: Kyuubey assumed MMXMM (which has porn in it) was for children because


 * Wound That Will Not Heal: In this setting, a Magical Girl's soul gem and some energy is typically all that is needed to restore her. This method isn't without risk though. However there are injuries that didn't heal so easily. Kyoko's eye didn't regenerate after Kirika removed it. In the Write-Up The Account of the Damned, Raleigh is missing all her limbs and the injury isn't merely physical but also has a curse-like component that has contaminated her soul. Eventually she was given prosthetics.
 * You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Some characters have non-realistic hair colors. Of note, Heartcatch Squad has such diverse hair color they've been likened to a rainbow by both Chiaki and Wendy.


 * Bring My Brown Pants: One of the first things we know about the narrator in Deliverance is she was so scared she didn't even notice she urinated.
 * Colossus Climb: Murderface did this in 'Deliverance''
 * Nasty Party: According to Layoffs, this is how the courier service was purged.

"Quests are indeed more heart rending with the collective mind of /tg/ together."

- 22039439

"People are actually considering stuff that I myself missed!"
 * Changing Clothes Is a Free Action: An anonymous artist (maybe more, but the art style is pretty consistent) posts comics. Sometimes these comics feature NiceHatGuy. NiceHatGuy in these comics is always wearing a hat, and each panel he is in features a different hat.
 * Grand Tabletop Rules List:
 * Rule 0. Sometimes a player is notices a bad possibility. On one hand perhaps Decu already knew and if the player announces it, perhaps the hive mind will figure out a solution or find a way to side step it. On the other hand:

- Deculture


 * Also a player may consider 'would Decu taking this possibility into account allow for a better story'?
 * Rule 1: >shadowruns
 * Rule 2: >shadowruns

"Paranoia level is approaching 1 full Shadowrun"
 * Hiroshima as a Unit of Measure: How paranoid /tg/ should be is often put in terms of Shadowrun, with varying degrees of fitting this trope.

One of them seemed to reference the DEFCON system: "We are in SHADOWRUN 5. If this is a reoccurring thing, we go straight to SHADOWRUN 1"

">"Our pitiful, good-for-nothing mistress will be proud, too, now that we've found herself." I FUCKIN' KNEW IT!"
 * Idiosyncratic Ship Naming: Watermelon
 * I Knew It!:


 * Noticing the Fourth Wall: One of the pictures.
 * Light Bulb Joke: Someone posted a screen cap of a twitter post that was one of these: HOW MANY @HanegawaMidori 'S DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?


 * Protagonist Centred Morality: Someone blamed the courier service for the leak because they left it accessible to Mami, as if Mami was free of all blame.
 * Shoutout:
 * "2magicalgirls1soulgem.avi"
 * Someone posted a link to the Cowboy Bebop song "Green Bird" as Kharn was falling from a building.
 * Soundtrack Dissonance: In response to Kharn basically declaring war, anon 20825989 posted a link to Edwin Starr - War (What Is It Good For?) and commented “it's fucking on now, chaps!”
 * Summoning Ritual: If Deculture doesn't show up one anon posts the first thing in then another does the second. Often someone messes up and gets told "You had one job".
 * Virgin Sacrifice: anon 20866598 ’s post
 * We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties: As a result of Deculture's seemingly chronic weather induced internet problems, someone made this
 * We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties: As a result of Deculture's seemingly chronic weather induced internet problems, someone made this


 * Humanity Is Infectious: Kyuubey is considered insane by his brothers. Decu stated that Kyuubey thinks more like a human because he is more hands on in running his officio than most his brothers.