The Last Resurrection



The Last Resurrection is an independently developed Windows game from 2002 made by Sean J. Nichols, released in four chapters. The most notable thing about it is its massively anti-Christian slant, with Jesus as the main villain. Part one is set during the first century CE and details Christ's first plan for world domination; part two is set in the Middle Ages; part three is set in 19th-century Transylvania and reveals that Dracula was working for Jesus, and part four is set during World War II, in which Jesus pals about with Hitler. The main characters are a range of succubi and vampires.


 * Anachronism Stew: Characters speak in a curiously modern manner (Jody, the daughter of a 19th century nobleman, comes out with lines like "I have a major headache" "No way!" and "Eww, sick"); however, as most of the game takes place outside the English-speaking world, this can be passed off as Translation Convention. Less easy to handwave are the bowls of chilli that Dracula feeds his human prisoners with - a rather literal example of this trope...
 * Anticlimax Boss: In the first two episodes, any human enemy can be killed with a single hit. This applies to the Dual Boss fight against the Apostles Peter and Paul and the final confrontation with episode two's Big Bad Sir Kael (who doesn't even notice the player enter the room before getting killed)
 * Artistic License Biology: Just LOOK at that dialogue in the image above.
 * Author Filibuster: "The Christian Empire has further plans of taking over the world and killing anyone who doesn't accept their ways... They will wipe out more than 70% percent [sic] of the worlds [sic] population since for example they kill women all the time saying they are 'witches' which 95% of the time isn't true."
 * Author Tract: The designer doesn't like Christianity very much, and it shows.
 * Beard of Evil: Judas, the only good Apostle, is also the only one to be clean-shaven.
 * Big Bad: Jesus.
 * Bigger Bad: God.
 * Card-Carrying Villain: Jesus. Not only does he.
 * Cast Full of Gay: The website's character biographies helpfully list everyone's sexual orientations, and it can be seen that most of the protagonists are either bisexual or lesbian, while almost all of the villains are straight. The latter makes sense as the bad guys are aligned with Nazism and fundamentalist Christianity.
 * Continuity Snarl: The presence of Dracula suggests a shared continuity with Stoker's novel, although it's not entirely clear from the game itself how the two fit together. Dracula's biography on the official website, meanwhile, seems to rule the idea out altogether. It also shows that this Dracula has no connection to his historical namesake, despite being referred to as "Dracula Vlad Tepes".
 * Corrupt Church
 * Cutscene Boss:
 * Dem Bones: Curiously, part of episode 4 (set during World War II) sees you navigating a cave while being attacked by undead skeletons. They don't appear anywhere else in the game, and no explanation is given as to how they were revived.
 * Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Sure, you have a little ice magic, but your main weapon during the final battle with Jesus is basically a pointy stick.
 * Dracula
 * The Dragon: Sir Kael, Dracula and Hitler are all candidates for the title.
 * Expospeak: It gets thicker as the game progresses.
 * Fartillery: A most likely unintentional example occurs during the final boss fight. Jesus sprouts wings and flies around shooting fireballs at you; however, as he's always flying away from the player, the fireballs appear to be coming out of his backside.
 * Final Boss Preview: Jesus serves as the last boss in episode one.
 * Ghostapo: The Nazis team up with Jesus, angelic Apostles and Dracula.
 * Giant Space Flea From Nowhere: One of the World War II bosses is a big orange dinosaur that happens to be living in a cave.
 * God Is Evil: Not only is Jesus the game's central villain, but his dad appears in the backstory a couple of times and is portrayed as a bit of a jerk.
 * God Is Inept: In the game's backstory God punishes Lilith by transforming her from an ordinary human to a succubus; it is later revealed that the demonic Lilith is powerful enough to overthrow God. Dropped the ball there, Yahweh.
 * Heroic Sacrifice:
 * Historical Hero Upgrade: Judas Iscariot.
 * Historical Villain Upgrade: Jesus and his 11 faithful apostles.
 * Horny Devils: Succubi feature prominently, incubi slightly less so.
 * Kung Fu Jesus: The winged, fireball-hurling Jesus can be seen as an example, although he arguably subverts the trope by being an evil Kung Fu Jesus.
 * Made of Explodium: In part one a single blow from a sharp implement will send a person's limbs flying off in all directions.
 * Moral Guardians: The designer, Sean J. Nichols, has claimed that a now-defunct site run by a pastor named Jim Nicholls personally denounced him because of the game. The site can be accessed through Archive.org; as it is clearly a parody, and what's more, it contains images remarkably similar to Sean's sprite work, this is more likely an example of Viral Marketing.
 * Nazi Germany: Most of episode 4 takes place there. There's even a level set in a concentration camp.
 * Novelization: Nichols wrote a novel based on the game which was published online. Well, it was billed as a novel, but is written in a curious manner which resembles the script for a radio play more than anything else. For some reason, the chapter adapting episode 3 of the game can only be accessed via Archive.org; chapter four, meanwhile, doesn't appear to have been adapted at all. As Nichols now claims to spend most of his time on Second Life (where his pals know him as "Earalia Nolan") this could be chalked up to an Author Existence Failure of sorts.
 * Off With His Head: Sir Kael decapitates his victims, including . Jesus also beheads.
 * Our Vampires Are Different: At least one of them is. In episode 4,.
 * Pedophile Priest: When you investigate a flapping curtain in a church, this text appears: "You hear the sound of a old man [sic] moaning in bliss and a young boy screaming in pain."
 * Politically-Incorrect Villain: Being involved in the Holocaust isn't enough; the villains are often casually sexist. "Silly girl! God doesn't like a woman who speaks her little mind," says Dracula.
 * Quirky Miniboss Squad: The Apostles.
 * Religion of Evil: The game's version of Christianity certainly fits the bill.
 * Religion Is Wrong: During the ending sequence one character flat-out states that the abolition of religion will bring about world peace.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: The game's text contains quite a few slip-ups, such as a helpful reminder to "wath your energy bar" and the consistent spelling of "torture" as "torcher". One Hilarious in Hindsight example comes when Dracula's daughter speaks of "Nazi basterds".
 * Satan Is Good: Lucifer is a benign figure who was wrongly punished for criticising God.
 * Strawman Political: Pretty much the whole game. Also Jesus accuses Judas Iscariot of being a "liberal".
 * Tragic Monster: Subverted. When a human protagonist is turned into a vampire, it's portrayed as a good thing.
 * Vampire Hunter: Edward.
 * The Very Definitely Final Dungeon: Averted; the final battle between Jesus Christ and the forces of Satan takes place outside a small cottage in rural Germany. Hmm.
 * What Measure Is a Mook?: In episode 4, our heroine, Valerie, must steal a magic gem from a museum in New York; the game makes it impossible to do this unless every single security guard is murdered (Valerie doesn't sound remotely bothered about the prospect of killing innocent men for doing their jobs: when one of the guards refers to her as "girl" she jauntily replies "wow, I never knew I was that young") The ending sequence sees the heroes waxing lyrical about world peace before killing a room full of Russian soldiers and three more men who were apparently just museum employees, this time for reasons nowhere near adequately justified by the plot.
 * Wicca: Darketa is identified as a Wiccan on the official website, despite the fact that the religion's founder was born several decades after the character's death.
 * Wife Basher Basher: Shortly before the final boss, the player character enters a cottage and hears the man of the house threatening to beat his wife; this is taken as justification for the succubus heroine to rape and kill him, also devouring his soul to heal herself. However, she also freezes his wife solid using ice magic, something which was shown to be fatal earlier in the game. You can't win...
 * Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: "If thy blood of thee protector is't spilt on thy door thou is't granted entrance. Remember thou, if thouest takes thy holy grail from thy holy shrine thou shalt be trapped here forever."
 * You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Quite a few characters have funky-colured hair. This is particularly common in first-century Judea.