Mistaken for Gay/Quotes

"Ryan: Can I stay with you for a while? We could tell your landlord I'm gay. Colin: Boy, that would be zany!"

- Whose Line Is It Anyway?

"Liz: What made you think I was gay? Jack: Your shoes. Liz: Well, I'm straight. Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious."

- Thirty Rock

"There were three things that people assumed upon first meeting Aziraphale: That he was intelligent, that he was British, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide."

- Good Omens

"Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay? Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating."

- Supernatural, Playthings

"Cpt. Peter Lassard: I need to get my hands on some healthy young men. Cmd. Eric Lassard: (awkward) ...I guess there are places you could go ...certain bars and so on... Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, what are you talking about? Cmd. Eric Lassard: Does Margret know about this? Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, I'm in trouble here and I need some new recruits! Cmd. Eric Lassard: Oooooh! That's easy!"

- Police Academy 2

"George: Look, we're not gay. Jerry: Not that there's anything wrong with that!

George: No, no, of course not!"

- Seinfeld

"Lancelot: We were in the nick of time, you were in a great peril. Galahad: I don't think I was. Lancelot: Yes, you were, you were in a terrible peril! Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril! Lancelot: No, it was too perilous! Galahad: Look, it's a duty of a knight to sample as much peril as I can! Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on! Galahad: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril? Lancelot: No, it's unhealthy. Galahad: Bet you're gay! Lancelot: No, I'm not."

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Val: Hope you don't mind my saying, Doctor, but you look ever so sweet. You and your partner and the baby. Doctor: "Partner." Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?

Val: Sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy, not in this day and age."

- Doctor Who, "Closing Time"

"Frank the Magikoopa: Now on your brooms and think happy thoughts. Like titties!! (Hal and Jeff try to use the brooms and end up plummeting to their doom.) Hal and Jeff: Ahhhhhh! Frank the Magikoopa: What are you.... Gay?!"

- Bowser's Kingdom, episode 2

"For the record, if anyone out there still cares, I'm not actually gay."

- Dr. John Watson, one of the most slashed characters in the history of print and screen media, Sherlock

"I remember one time I scratched this girl's back in the middle of the night -- I was, you know, nine, and she was twelve, and she asked me to scratch her back. A nun ran in, ripped me off her back, threw me against the lockers, beat the shit out of me and called me a lesbian."

- Cyndi Lauper, on Catholic school