Bleach/WMG/Shikai Silly

=== This is a list of silly, or Just for Fun wild mass guesses for the series Bleach Shikai Edition. More serious entries should go in one of the open pages. ===

Please add new entries to the bottom of the page.

Tosen's idea that Kenpachi is a demon is frighteningly accurate because...
Kenpachi Zaraki is really an amalgamation of souls who all died before their time in the most violent ways possible. Think Menos Grande made out of whole's and you'll get it. Who are these souls? Well let's review: He woke up in Zaraki, basically the projects of Soul Society. The only thing he knows how to do well is kill, and he loves it. Can't think of anything else. Repressed anger anyone? He's the absolutely most badass, twisted looking character short of the Espada and takes pains to look even more so. And whenever he sees our favorite Blonde-Orange haired hero goes after him like it's a blood feud. Who is Zaraki Kenpachi? Let's just say I think his Bankai will be 'Swarm, McCormick.' Every.Last.One.Of.Them.
 * He's the amalgamation of all the 300 of Sparta. It explains every single thing. IN DETAILS. (Well, it just doesn't explain how he isn't inclined to teach younger boys that kind of stuff, but since they died in battle, they wouldn't worry too much about that. You shouldn't think about that, either.)
 * This actually makes A LOT of sense; young spartan boys were made to be warriors from birth. if you weren't perfectly suited for being a badass soldier, you were left in the wilderness to die. Spartan boys were taken at the age of 7 to become soldiers. teaching a teenager how to be a badass came with the territory, and the way he does it works too; in sparta, "sparring" was full contact with real weapons. in short: you don't beat your partner? you die.
 * McCormick? Like Kenny McCormick? Woah. Maybe Kenny was a Bount? Or Timelords are involved in Soul Society.
 * Well, Yachiru does nickname him Kenny...
 * BANKAI! OMIGODE, KIRUKENE!

Urahara Kisuke is actually Willy Wonka from the original 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'
Think about it. The coat, hair, and hat are reminiscent of each other and they both keep canes, even though neither of them seem to have any difficulty walking. They both possess mad scientist traits and bizarre methodology, and both go to extreme lengths to test characters and care nothing of anybody's safety.
 * And it can't be just me that thinks Jinta looks a little like a proto-Oompa Loompa.

Bleach is a Shonen series, but uses gender flipped Magical Girl tropes.
Not so much a guess but an observation. Let's take it from the top.
 * Okay, for starters... Mysterious Protector saves pretty blonde Muggle from The Heartless, but gives up their powers to the rescuee. The now awesomely powerful person joins the crusade to purify human souls that have become monsters after losing themselves to darkness and is assisted in transforming by a cute animal sidekick. The more you think about it the more it makes sense.
 * To further the Sailor Moon parallels, aside from being (sort of) blond and having a black cat as a sidekick, Ichigo also has Moon-themed powers. 'Zangetsu' means 'killing moon', its bankai is named 'killing moon chained to heaven' (or something along those lines), and its attack is 'heaven-piercing moon-fang'. Also, to use his powers he has to transform either into shinigami form or, if he is already there, to bankai level.
 * Heaven-Piercing? It sounds familiar.
 * It would be funny if they actually had time travels, and Ururu was Ichigo and Rukia's kid with a decoy name. She already does look like Rukia a bit.
 * Don't forget that Aizen might be like Professor Tomoe! So, this makes Momo... Hotaru?
 * Nah, Ryuken looks a lot more like the Professor.
 * Which would make Ishida Hotaru....
 * And that, folks, is why they call it Wild Mass Guessing!

Warren Peace from Sky High is actually the son of Zaraki Kenpachi and Yachiru in another dimention.
Warren's father is called "Baron Battle" - which squad captain loves to fight the most? Warren also has that streak of reddish-pink hair - who has pink hair? Both of his parents have super-powers - Kenpachi is nigh-indestructible and more intelligent then he appears and Yachiru is super fast, super strong, and super adorable.
 * But what about the hereditary nature of superpowers in that world? Uh, got me there, also if the "Yachiru is Kenpachi's Zanpakuto" theory turns out to be true.
 * Also, um...squicky much?
 * "In another dimension." Anyway, if that rogue shinigami from the first Bleach movie could merge with his sword then... er, y'know what, never mind.
 * That was an OVA and definitely not canon.
 * That's so squicky... After all, Yachiru is not the only one with pink/reddish hair in Soul Society. I hope.
 * There's Chizuru in the living world, but she's a proud lesbian.

Byakuya was - briefly, long ago - the (* much* ) less eccentric pupil of Kamina.
Seriously, how many other people could make such a potentially embarrassing mistake into a Crowning Moment of Awesome!?
 * If we go by seiyuu jokes, it's frightening, as Kamina would be the Big Bad. Simon? He wouldn't be even Kamina's pupil, but just an unlucky nerd that shoots arrows. Seriously.
 * Okay, now you've got me picturing Uryu piloting Gurren Lagann and beating Aizen with Spiral Power. Good for you.
 * Fun fact: English dub!Young!Byakuya is voiced by Yuri Lowenthal, who voiced Simon (and also voices Keigo).

Bleach is in fact Kubo Tite's resume
This theory is based around the fact that most of Bleach's cast is very well-dressed, at least when disguised or when inhabiting the human realm, the fact that the manga covers usually feature important cast members impressively dressed in clothing that would be in-character only in a non-sequitur setting like said manga covers, and that fashion-minded and highly talented Ishida Uryu is in fact a Mary Sue of Tite. Therefore, Kubo Tite is in fact a failed or aspiring fashion artist who is using the manga and anime primarily as a vehicle for his clothing designs.
 * Eh? Ishida as a Mary Sue? Ishida, King of Dorks, whose sense of fashion is usually mocked, who can't win a fight without assistance or severe consequences, who disappears into the background whenever there's more than two shinigami around (notice how he and Chad became little more than background patterns in Hueco Mundo once Renji and Rukia showed up right until their separation), whose role as "rival" was pretty much usurped by Renji, whom Peshe thought to be weaker than even Rukia despite Ishida being much taller and obviously physically stronger than her, whose tragic past is already swept under the carpet (despite it being one of the most tragic among the main characters) and whose wholly justified hatred toward Kurotsuchi Mayuri was turned into comic tantrums, while Mayuri bullies him for comic relief? Kubo may have a soft spot for Ishida (though I doubt it, after all that happened lately), but Ishida is lightyears away from being a Mary Sue.
 * Kubo did say he wanted to go into fashion design after he finished Bleach.
 * In reality, Ichigo does look a lot more like Tite Kubo than Ishida, perhaps Ishida is just a representation of his overly poor fashion mentor.
 * Uncyclopedia would agree with you.

The King of Soul Society is in fact one in the same as the King of the Shinigami Realm from Death Note
This would imply that the Shinigami realm exists on some higher plane separate from Soul Society. Perhaps the Death Note shinigami and Bleach soul reapers are invisible to each other?
 * Or perhaps the Death note shinigami are what happens to the Bleach shinigami when they die. They ascend to another part of the soul society, which is the post-apocalyptic realm of the Death Note shinigami. What they did in the "After life" affects the way they look as death note shinigami. That's why some death gods look uglier/creepier than others.
 * Or the Death Note Shinigami are actually another type of hollow or arrancar created by Aizen and he is the King of the Shinigami Realm. Someone else has suggested a theory similar to this on the Death Note WMG page.
 * Death Note shinigami are Mayuri's experiments on Quincies. Just reading what Mayuri did with them might not make it impossible.
 * To add to this, when someone is killed by a Death Note they go to Mu, nothingness. Quincies destroy the very soul of the Hollows they killed. So maybe they retain this ability in a twisted form with the Death Notes. I do know in Death Note that it mentions everyone goes to Mu, but that could just be a lie.

Shotaro Ishinomori, manga-ka responsible for creating Kamen Rider, was an agent of the Vizard
Specifically, Mashiro. She had a lot of Rider-like characteristics 100 years ago- oval eyes, vaguely insectlike, speciality is kicks, powers come from use of The Enemy's experimentation, etc. Presumably, at some point in the seventies she got rather bored with the whole "wait until the story starts" thing, and hired a guy to create a rather fictionalized version of herself as a superhero. He took it and ran with it, and she was so pleased with his work that she adopted some of his ideas, like the scarf.
 * Darn, her costume looks a lot like the Cyborg 009 ones! And her hair just looks like 009-1's main character!

Orihime is making the whole thing up
The story resembles a long, involved version of one of her weirdo fantasies, Ichigo is the star, and before any of this happened, she was the only one who even knew who Ishida was.
 * But then, all the whole intricate plot would be too complicated to her... Maybe Tatsuki is making the whole thing up? She looks more like the kind of girl that loves extremely long shonen.
 * Then, it would make me leap to the coma theory, and since she practically disappears from the history, it means that she's dying, and knows it... Ichigo was a male representation of herself, Orihime was her best friend, Mizuiro and Keigo were just guys she beaten at random times, Chad was the aloof friend, Ishida was her rival (I don't know at what) she learned to respect over time... It's so sad...
 * Ishida was better than her at archery. So much so that she eventually gave up (something she berated herself for to the day that truck crashed into her family's home) and took up karate.

Ichigo is making the whole thing up.
Just look at Tite Kubo's face. He looks a lot like an older, albeit not as pretty, Ichigo.

Orihime is unspeakably kinky
Caused by a total misinterpretation of the word "fantasies" in the above WMG. Seriously, imagine what her sexual fantasies must be like. Assuming she and Ichigo become a couple in the end, and her CloudCuckooLanderness isn't utterly destroyed, Ichigo is in for some... interesting roleplay.
 * Well, since she imagined that quickly and easily an IshiRuki scenario in the manga... By her blushing, she was probably imagining both of them doing H stuff and everything. Pervert. (Although I agree it'd look kinda hot, but Uryuu seems more like the type of guy that like tomboyish girls, as a balance from his girly personality...)
 * Her love of cute things and girly dresses aside, Rukia is one of the most tomboyish girls in the manga...
 * Her voice in the animé doesn't help. She sounds like Yuki Sohma, and This Troper thought at first glance she was a boy.
 * The leeks...

The Captain Shusuke Amagai arc is All Just a Dream
Specifically a dream being had by Rukia after she collapsed at the end of her fight with Aaroniero.
 * No, it was Aizen using his Bankai.
 * Nah, sounds more to me like something Orihime would cook up.
 * She had to do something while she was waiting for Ichigo.
 * I third that, seeing as the end of a "dramatic" arc was a game of soccer...

Ichigo and Naruto are alternate universe counterparts of each other
Let's check the facts, shall we?
 * Both are powerful fighters
 * Both still have a lot to learn about fighting
 * Both have barely controllable beasts inside them
 * Both have spiky hair
 * Both are Berserker fighters (lots of yelling, going off half-cocked, quick temper)
 * Both were hated by people around them while growing up (Naruto for the Kyuubi and Ichigo for his hair colour)
 * Both are easily confused by technical descriptions, and learn best by being shown and then working by what they've seen
 * Both are instinctual fighters
 * Both are Shonen Jump characters :-P.
 * Alternatively, Naruto's parents are AU versions of Ichigo and Orihime; just look at Kushina's hair! (Don't know about Sasuke's parents, though, but they could be AU versions of Uryuu and possibly Tatsuki...)
 * Both lose control of their bodies to the evil inside the more they use those powers (Naruto loses control to the Kyuubi after 4 tails and Ichigo to his Inner Hollow when he becomes a full Hollow after getting a hole cut right through his chest).
 * Both have enormous reserves of power.
 * Both are the apples of a big chested girl's eye who are both voiced by Stephanie Sheh.
 * ...and all of the above being characteristics of Goku and other shonen heroes certainly has nothing to do with it.

Ulquiorra is really...
L, from Death Note. First of all, compare the two http://account-hijacker.deviantart.com/art/L-quiorra-79603022 The same apathetic expression in all situations, the same monotone and the same general disregard for others. Keep in mind L is the guy who admitted to going after Kira for the hell of it. The scenario is, L died, and his soul through a temper tantrum at losing to Kira, and being betrayed by his only friend. When the Shinigami show up to collect him, he freaks out, and flees, or else transforms into a hollow right away, considering his reaction when he first heard about Shinigami, it's not too far of a stretch to conceive L already has some hatred towards them. So L transforms into the Hollow Ulqiorra, defeats the Shinigami, and retreats to Hueco Mundo. He then devours other Hollow because he discovers they taste like candy, and he needs to sate his sweet tooth. Eventually, h thecomes a Menos Grande, but manages to retain his personality and becomes an Adjuchas, and eventually a Vasto Lorde. When approchaed by Aizen, he leaps at the opportunity to get back at the Shinigami who he hates so much (but probably doesn't remember why anymore), and goes on to become an Arrancar, who looks almost exactly like he did when human...
 * If this is true, it's somewhat ironic. His second resurrecion gave him an appearance with wings that make him look quite a bit like Ryuk.
 * Also, remember that L died of a heart attack. Guess where Ulquiorra's hole is?
 * Um... originally in his throat, now in the middle of his chest?
 * I still think it's Itoshiki-sensei, that succeeded into hanging himself (Ulquiorra's hollow hole is originally in his neck). Crushing Despair, anyone?

The King of Soul Society is The King, aka Elvis Presley.
When he shows up, he shall kick all *** with The Power of Rock.
 * There's a one-shot fic with that very twist.
 * And that fic is here if anyone wants to read it -->

The king of the Soul Society is Shinigami-Sama from Soul Eater, and Isshin and Death Scythe are from different dimensions, competing to be his replacement.
They already finished the "reach your strongest possible form" stage of the competition, and are currently in the "who can have the more successful Successor" stage of the competition. Kishin are the SE equivalent of Hollows, Witches are basically a form of Arrancar (or possibly Visored, I haven't seen enough of Soul Eater to tell).
 * Guh, how awesome would that be?!? Crazy, of course.

Orihime is Devon.
I found these similarities listening to Inside the Fire by Disturbed:
 * Won't go to Heaven: Orihime was taken forcibly into Hueco Mundo, a place for The Heartless that devour their way up the food chain. Soul Society is far from what a Western would expect from Heaven, especially if you get to live in Rukongai.
 * Rendered unwhole: she and her brother are orphans. Brother dies. Comes back as a hollow. That should do.
 * Lies beyond this portal: Garganta. 'Nuff said.
 * This Troper suggests a related (but slightly less insane) idea: Zaraki is either the guy from Disturbed's Indestructible, or is related to said guy.
 * The lyrics imply that the guy is only fighting because he is blindly obeying orders, so he is pretty much Zaraki's foil (who loves battle for the heck of it, and was perfectly willing to turn on the other captains just so that he could have a fight.)
 * True...but then the "related to the guy" idea is still possible...Zaraki is The Guy's Evil Twin perhaps? Or...rather, chaotic twin.

Bleach is set in Old World of Darkness
Soul Society is an island in the Tempest, or possibly a Far Shore. Soul reapers are wraiths of a legion unaffiliated with Stygia, who are given the power to fight spectres and bring wraiths directly from the Shadowlands to Soul Society. Hollows are spectres; most are the shade caste. Arrancar are nephwracks, and the Espadas are possibly malfeans. The Visored are spectres who have lost control to their psyches, and thus emerge as wraiths with spectre powers. Hueco Mundo, naturally enough, is the Labyrinth.
 * Nemu provides another contribution to this theory, for she's a Tammuz Promethean, melancholic, subservient and incredibly resilient.

Orihime is the reincarnation of Himura Kenshin. Tatsuki is the reincarnation of Sanosuke.
It explains her hair color, her overall demeanor, and her high spiritual power. If she were to ever pick up a sword, she would be very proficient--she just hasn't tried. The reason why her power manifested the way it did is because of a spiritual aversion to killing or causing harm.
 * Somehow or another, I can figure Megumi having mad sewing skillz in her past incarnation (as a doctor, she had to) and reincarnating as Uryuu (Tatsuki x Uryuu is fine, too), and Yahiko being Ichigo, but I guess Kaoru wouldn't fit as Chad. At all.

Sosuke Aizen is the spirit of Uchiha Itachi.
His name is vaguely similar to that of Sasuke, which got me laughing at all the potential leaps of logic to make them the same person. But then I thought: Mangekyo Sharingan. Who uses illusions to fight, having surpassed physical action? Who betrayed everyone they know and that trusted them to fit a "higher cause" and temporarily sided with the archenemy of their former people? Whose power can be used against anyone who sees its foucus? All Itachi. He'Engl to using the same old flawed logic that lost him his family in the first place just so he can take over the Spirit Realm and wage war on God/the gods in a Utopia Justifies the Means gambit. He keeps Tosen around, less because he's useful (which he is) and more because his power and blindness remind him of the later years of his life as Itachi.
 * That's interesting, and explains... almost everything. But I'd figure that he'd be attacking the gods/spirit realm out of anger that he was convinced to kill his entire family. It'd make a good crossover at least.

Orihime is actually a descendant of Clow Reed or related to him in some way. Alternately she's related to Sakura from TRC.
Think about it, a lot of things would make sense then:
 * She has powers that can defy God, but won't Clow Reed's magic qualify as going against God as well? I mean he created the Sakura cards, a whole bunch of other things like the Mokonas, Yue, Kero, etc., and Alternate Worlds.
 * She has a very Symbolic Name
 * Her personality is quite similar to Sakura from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. (Sakura's version of Watanuki anyone?) But if she's Sakura, Chizuru would be... Tomoyo? Heck, they are both lesbian schoolgirls, you know!

Shakugan no Shana takes place in the Bleachverse.
Or vice versa. Going along with the theories that there are alternate versions of Soul Society (and possibly the idea that these are fictional within the 'Verse in question), Tomogara are Hollow eating existence so that they can exist. The Flame Haze are the Shinigami of a different analogue of Soul Society.
 * Alternatively, Shana's history is in the Bleach's past, and something made her lose her Clingy MacGuffin (but her hair color didn't really change, due to her slight spiritual p so retaining), then, she changed her name to not be recognized, grew up (quite nicely), knew a guy called Isshin Kurosaki, they married, and she had three kids, the oldest of them being the Ichigo we love. Then, since she didn't have any protection against the Hollows anymore, she was devoured by one of them out of spite. Sad story.
 * More alternatively, she could be Ishida's mom instead of Lisa (in the above theories), since her powers reminded more of Quincies with swords than shinigamis. But then, it wouldn't be as awesome.

The Bleach-verse and the Soul Eater universe are alternate versions of each other
This is basically the (il)logical progession of the above theory and the "Aizen wants to eat the King" theory further up. The divergence point was the imprisonment of the Kishin. In the Bleach-verse he got trapped in the spiritual plane which was better at keeping him contained, Soul Society was formed and most of the weirdness was restricted to the spiritual world. The 'King' thing is misinformation intended to prevent anyone from getting any ideas (see the theory above). In the Soul Eater-verse he got trapped in the living world and Soul Society was never formed. Both of these things caused much weirdeness and since there isn't much of a spiritual world, said weirdness manifested in the physical one along with a generall blurring of the line between physical and spiritual, plus the absence of a holding area for dead souls (ie Soul Society) rendered psychopomp duties largely obsolete and necessitated the more pro-active measure of going after the things that want to eat them while said things are still alive. Despite the differences, in both universes there was a need to insure a steady supply of people to protect the souls of the dead and who were capable of fighting the 'king'/kishin if he ever got loose, and in both universes this led to the creation of schools to train people up for this purpose, the Shinigami Academy in the Bleach-verse and Shibusen in the Soul Eater-verse. Okay, that's that bit of craziness over with, feel free to start picking holes in it.

Kenpachi's sword spirit/Bankai is...
A bunny rabbit! Rule of Funny, plus it probably isn't a very (normally) aggressive creature after years of the punishment their clashing spiritual pressures put it through (but those things can turn mean in an instant).
 * If Rukia ever manages to talk with her sword spirit, a pink fluffy bunny rabbit sword spirit will be hers, for sure. So, it would be funny if they both had similar spirits.
 * A dragon. Zabimaru is a mythical creature, why wouldn't the strongest Zaraki's sword be the strongest mythical creature?
 * Perhaps it's a leviathan, you know, those things are huge.
 * A talking sword. (The other reapers can hear it screaming, and they can normally hear others' zanpakuto only in an externalized state). Komomaru's Bankai includes a sword.
 * A wolf/Yachiru, respectively. (mentioned above, plus there was the shape of her aura that time she got mad at the two shinigami who were arguing during Ken-chan's fight...)
 * An Oni (see the dragon guess above).
 * Not necessarily his sword, but his Bankai ability will be hedgehog-based (and possibly kido). Ichigo went from Attack shikai to Speed bankai because he was too slow to defeat Byakuya, Renji used spirit energy for his bankai to replace the chains of his shikai so they could not be cut. Kenpachi's only real weakness is defense: He's nigh-impossible to cut if one is not a main character, but when he does find someone strong enough to cut him, his only defense is to kill them first. If he has a shell of spirit energy spikes, realizing that he needs to improve everything, not just attack and speed while training for bankai, he'll still be able to attack using a relatively defensive bankai (just as a human cannonball instead of a human bolt gun).
 * Actually, his weakness is magic. If an enemy were weak against magic or only used magic, he would have some trouble. He has no kido experience whatsoever.
 * Unless I read the situation incorrectly, nor did Ichigo previous to his cero-bankai.
 * A hedgehog would make lots of sense, taking in consideration his hair already looks a bit like Sonic's...
 * A skeleton/skull. Notice the skull seen when he unleashes his reiatsu.
 * A Kidou-based weapon, not unlike Yumichika's... or even crazier, a Healing Shiv Kidou-based weapon. Considering descriptions of his relationship with the sword say it's "screaming in agony" from Kenpachi using it wrong, this seems pretty likely... and appropriately ironic.
 * Maybe the bankai's form is a sword that's in even worse condition than it normally is. Then, when he takes off his eyepatch, it becomes a BFS.
 * Since it's all wrapped in bandages, maybe Kubo will do something completely out of left field and make his Zanpakto's spirit connected to Anubis, the Egyptian God of Mummification. That would actually be pretty badass.
 * Komomaru is Kenpachi's bankai. He/it was ticked that Kenpachi wasn't paying attention, so it went off and became a Lawful Neutral reaper. His zanpakuto, under the armor, is Yachiru.
 * Whatever it is, it's the size of a galaxy, violates the laws of physics, and destroys any universe it hits. Probably a R,R,RBFS.
 * His is the sword that will pierce destroy the heavens.
 * Perhaps Kenpachi himself is somebody's Bankai. To make it more precise, his bankai's effect was permanently turning him into who he is now, at the cost of his identity.

Aizen is really Elvis.
Elvis died and went to Soul Society where he proceeded with his plans for world domination.
 * Funny you should mention that...
 * He actually became a substitute shinigami when some particularly obsessive former fans of his died, Hollowfied, went after him, beat up the shinigami who came to fight them, and put them in the same situation Ichigo and Rukia finds themselves in in the first chapter. Also like Ichigo, Elvis becomes a Vaizord. Unlike our strawberry, Soul Society doesn't take it too well, so he went into hiding, forced to never sing again for fear of recognition. As for where he is now... after spiritual plastic surgery and a new gigai, he moved to japan, where he had three kids. Any guesses who?
 * Former prime minister Junichiro Koizumi, of course. He admits to having the same birthday, and his love of Elvis music is a joke he plays on us all.
 * I was actually talking about Isshin, but Koizumi works too.

Uryuu is a fan of The Wheel of Time series.
The endless descriptions of dresses are what inspired him to take up sewing as a hobby.
 * This and the fact that he's a piss poor lad that can't afford new clothes, having to sew his old ones instead. Since he tries to make everything he does to look cool, it led to his Hardcore Sewing.

Urahara is the king, Gin kills him, Aizen kills him, Isshin kills him, the real Aizen kills him, Ichigo kills him.
And Orihime inherits the earth.
 * And she'll decide to destroy it.

Tite Kubo came up with the idea for Bleach after he had a near death experience at a Mexican Day of the Dead festival.
That's why Hollows wear those masks and speak spanish. The Soul Reapers came when he was rescued by a group of Kendo students.
 * If this isn't true, it needs to be true.
 * Near death experience after eating tacos? It'd explain a lot. (And yes, I'm fully aware of the meme, it only supports this theory.)

Aizen is doing it all because he's meta aware of the shonen manga nature of reality due to being a soul from OUR reality
Like a guy who's studied a subject so often he knows it on an instinctually subconscious level, Aizen is actually the mixed up, time displaced reincarnation of an otaku from our reality, and while having lost all or most of his memories due to the process realizes gut deep the inferior nature of reality around him and thus is able to effortlessly manipulate all those around him and predict events simply by following a (not so) complex shonen protagonist formula and treating everyone like the stale archetypes they are. (take a breath) Realizing that he can succeed with patience against the relative dimwits around him, he seeks to overthrow the 'King', free the Hollows, Humans and Shinigami from the tired formula they're forced into playing and ultimately spread out over all similar realities building a geometrically increasing army until he's powerful enough to conquer the prime reality of shonen manga and gain true ultimate power...Dragonball Z.
 * Also he's really this guy.

Stark is Tony Stark
Once you get past the fact that death has apparently made him a lot lazier, their personalities are really similar. So are their looks. And their names are the same. Obviously, at some point he's going to release his sword and the result will be awesome red and gold powered armor. You know it's true.
 * I was going to tell about this theory, too! Strange minds do think alike! Oh, and he didn't get lazy due to death. It was the powerful Hueco Mundo tequila.
 * http://www.onemanga.com/Bleach/359/02/ Stark fires ceros from his chest. Hmm...
 * He built Las Noches! In a cave! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!

Aizen's real plan is to kill anyone who reads this page.
Aizen hasn't appeared to help his arrancars lately because he's found away to escape the series itself and observe Kubo Tite's writing. He has also come to the realization that his author draws inspiration from this page, as is evidenced by Yammy being the 0th Espada. He has all contributors to this page under mass hypnosis after viewing the release of his Zanpakutoh on T.V./Youtube, and is having them add increasingly ridiculous guessings, which will send anyone who dares to try and read the entire list in one sitting into uncontrollable laughter, ultimately killing them. With the primary contributors and viewers gone, Aizen will be free to assume control of the page and create guessings that favor him, causing Kubo Tite to write him into a sound, swift victory against the entire Bleach cast.
 * He'll keep those that never have seen the anime but still root for him alive. The ones that think he's in love with a random woman will be the first to go.
 * This is pure nons-ALL HAIL THE HYPNOSWORD.
 * ALL HAIL LELOU- wait, wrong anime.

Bleach and Beetlejuice take place in the same universe.
The afterlife portrayed in Beetlejuice is just another Soul Society. And the place where the Sandworms live is perhaps another part of Hueco Mundo, or an alternate version of it where it is always daytime instead of night. The sandworms are Hollows. Beetlejuice is either simply a Whole spirit who developed some unique powers, or he could be a Hollow or Arrancar.
 * Beetlejuice is Mayuri. Believe in me.
 * Soul Society is a pseudo-feudal Japan. Hueco Mundo is the Mexican-Day-of-the-Dead afterlife, so Mexico. You'll notice it has a slightly more deranged and confusing structure. This is because Mexico did not have a feudal period to model itself on. Europe's soul society is probably similarly traditionalist, with knights and blonde damsels and such. But Beetlejuice? That's what the afterlife is like... IN AMERICA.

Gin will fight Komamura and defeat him with a dog whistle
He'll do it for the lulz.
 * For our lulz. Bonus points if it involves burning furries as well.

Urahara is Santos Dumont in afterlife
Well, it's not only about the hat, but because both were considered quite silly for their time (Urahara is still considered silly), both were inventors, and both are famous for some, er... Problems with invention claims and that stuff (except that Urahara's case was pretty much the opposite of Dumont's, but karma works in weird ways). Oh, about his appearance? Let's just say that afterlife did good on him. Kenpachi, on other hand... Poor man.

Komamura suffers with his fox-like shape due to overly mistreating the Furry Fandom.
Karma's a friggin' ***.
 * So, Komamura was a regular on 4Chan?
 * Encyclopedia Dramatica speculates that he could be an Anonymous member, due to his mask. At the same time, they raise the question how on earth did a Furry manage to join Anonymous.

Barragán was a wuss before he was an Arrancar
All his aura did was make people complain about how much prices had gone up and yell at kids to get off their lawns.
 * Don't forget that pain in the back that finally killed him. Or even how stupid are girls nowadays, going to work, fighting, and everything, like that little Chinese weirdo!

Yu Yu Hakusho and Bleach are Alternate Continuity versions of the same universe
The universe has three dimensions: Spirit World, Human World, and Demon World. Humans and demons exist as living beings, openly acknowledging each other, and shinigami exist to manage the afterlife. The problem is that some demons eat humans. Sure, some humans are born with enough supernatural power to defend themselves, but the species as a whole seems to be screwed. The Spirit World has got to do something. This is where the universe splits: That's pretty cool, but where does hell come in to play?
 * In the Yu Yu Hakusho universe, the Spirit World decided to create a barrier between the Human and Demon worlds, keeping the strongest demons out. The shinigami worked strictly as guides of the dead, leaving humans to fight their own battles against the remaining demons. Spiritual power became more prevalent in the population due to natural selection, and a Masquerade was adopted by the demons, who became the stuff of myth for the humans.
 * In the Bleach 'verse, Spirit World militarized itself (becoming Soul Society as it is known today); the shinigami became fighters and drove the demons to extinction. However, because shinigami were expected to preform duties as both guides and soldiers, their productivity suffered - some human souls were left alone too long and became Hollows. These Hollows were driven (mostly) to the now empty Demon World, which became Hueco Mundo.
 * Remember, when Toguro died, Koenma says that since he died a noble death as a warrior, his punishment would be fairly light, but Toguro decided to suffer the worst possible punishment. This shows that dead people in YYH go through different dimensions of afterlife depending on how they lived. Maybe Bleach's hell is just one of these dimensions?

Orihime's zanpakuto is a leek.
Well, if she would become a soul reaper, that's what it will be. I mean, what humans or soul reapers can spin a leek at 360 degrees with their wrist?

The King of Soul Society is the Heavy from Team Fortress 2

 * And this isn't even the most far-fetched theory on this page.

The King of the Soul Society is the Shaman King
This could work. Shamans can control spirits, and the Shaman King is one who has managed to take control of the Great Spirit. As a result they could use their skills to control virtually every member of the cast.
 * Even though this theory is just a huge, almost poisonous epileptic tree, a crossover fight between Hao and Aizen would be badass.

There's an interesting story about why Gin can't stop smiling all the time...
His father was a drinker; he even named his son after his drink of choice.
 * His shikai is for making people happy. His Bankai is the spirit equivalent of Smilex, and Mayuri will have to use his own blood mist to condense it before it reaches anyone.

Ulquiorra's Second Resurrección was made up immediately after Kubo realized how dumb he'd made Ulquiorra's first Resurrección look.
Really. His first form looked stupid.
 * Murus-Hierago gives you Wiiiings!!

Zaraki Kenpachi has one true weakness, he is Afraid of Needles.
There is no proof as of yet to support this but lets face it, how many series have you seen feature uber Badass who can handle gapping wounds like they are just a scratch but scream like little girls when they see a nurse with a needle in her hand, it just seems to be sort of classic characteristic a guy like Kenny would have.
 * He's afraid of needles held by Unohana. Not really needles, but who holds it. I would, too.

Aizen's Couch is his bankai.
Or, at the very least, his bankai's disguise.
 * So that's where Barragan learned it....

Chizuru could have defeated Harribel, Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-Sun single-handedly.
Remember the Karakura-Raizer Team episode where Chizuru used her powers as Karakura-Raizer Erotic to sudue that busty female Arrancar? Now imagine Chizuru's reaction to seeing busty babes like Harribel and her Fracción. And if any of the girls released their Resurreccións especially Harribel, Karakura-Raizer Erotic would go into Super Hentaiyan mode out of sheer LUST.

Wait...Soul Society as akronym is SS...
This sounds rather fishy!
 * But scheming Hitler or rather Stalin of this world is already Aizen
 * As Only Fools and Horses put it, "T. Eliot spelt backwards is 'toilet'. That doesn't mean he was a lavatory attendant!" :P
 * Doesn't mean he wasn't! Maybe he was one for a summer job as a child!

A Shinigami will find a way to successfully fuse with their Zanpakutou spirit
The main villain of the OVA tried to do it, but went insane. So, maybe Kubo will use this idea as a power up for a Shinigami character. Maybe in this new form they would gain the abilities of their Bankai enhanced even more. So if Yamamoto were to have it, he would become fire.
 * Who says Old Man Genocide hasn't already?
 * What does this mean for Renji if they do it with Zabimaru's "Chimpette & Snakey" form/s? Note to the rabid Filler Haters, only a funny thought.

Pesche is...a Jedi!
He has a lightsaber, so why not? He's the hollow formed not only out of a Jedi, but Mace Windu! Just cause, y'know, that would be fun. Wait, better idea, to be a Fracción they would be at least gillian, a hollow formed of many hollows. Now, what group of similiar, powerful group were genocided upon? The Order! Something caused their souls to be moved to a different reality, becoming a Menos then eventually...PESCHE!

Don Kanonji is Isshin's Vice Captain.
Now, we all know that in Bleach's first arc, Orihime and Chad were able to awaken their spiritual powers because Ichigo was leaking spirit energy like crazy. We also know from hindsight that the reason that Ichigo can see ghosts and Karin and Yuzu can sense ghosts in the beginning of the series is because their father was a very powerful shinigami. Ishhin Kurosaki isn't confirmed to be a captain, but between him claiming to have a captain's power and what appears to be a very obvious captain's jacket hanging off his shinigami robes we can hypthoesis with very little doubt that at some point Isshin must have been a shinigami captain. His wife may have also been a shinigami, but this is doubtful and we have nothing to back it up. I mean, if she was a shinigami she might have stood a better chance against grandfisher, but that's a debate for another time.
 * copied from The One That Might's Gamefaqs post*

Quincys are humans who are descended along a special blood line. Bounts, in the anime at least, are much the same way. This explains the origins of every human character in the series with special powers with the exception of Don Kanonji. Don Kanonji can see spirits, and also he can use THE GOLDEN CANON BALL, a special technique that involves him firing a very tiny pellet from his hand and it causing a massive explosion. While it doesn't have a number attached to it, which makes it doubtful that its a kidou spell, it is very possible that it is a special ability of Don Kanonji's zanpaktou, and that his staff is his zanpaktou in its released state. Possibly similar to Renji's similarly named Baboon Bone Canon, which is fired the same way with no incantation.

We know from the Pendulum arc that you can't quit being a shinigami, so Isshin must be a deserter like the Vizard and Urahara. We also know that he was a captain, and if he was a captain he must have had a lieutenant. We can't say for sure what squad Isshin was captain of, but 11th squad is looking pretty likely considering how its captain is not seen during the past arc. We know that Isshin gave up his powers 20 years ago, but we can't say for sure that that is when he defected from the Gotei 13. Conjecture aside, if Isshin was a captain than he must have had a lieutenant. The most obvious candidate for this position is Don Kanonji, was I will explain below.

If Don Kanonji was Isshin's lieutenant then its likely they did the smart thing and split up when they exiled themselves to the world of the living. The Vizards had each other and Urahara had use for the former kido corp leader, but there was nothing Isshin and Kanonji could do to really help each other. So they split ways. We know that shinigamis have a fascination with earth from people like Matsumoto.Shinji, and the 1st squad lieutenant who all love living world stuff. It would make sense that Kanonji decided to explore the world while Isshin decided to find love. While traveling, Don Kanonji realized he needed money. Thanks to a fascination with TV he developed in the real world and his own powers, he decided that he could become a spiritual medium in the real world. He rises to fame fighting hollows.

Eventually he discovers that Isshin's son has developed shinigami powers and he goes to Karakura Town, of all places, to test him. We know that Don Kanonji screwed up the exorcism in Karakura Town, but how do you explain how he has been doing this for years without being devoured by a hollow who would want to eat him? Hollows are attracted to humans with high spiritual pressure, so he must have been a target for hollows. What I'm getting at here is that Don Kanonji screwed up on purpose to test Isshin's son.

He wanted to make sure that Ichigo had what it takes to combat hollows so he created a situation where he knew that Ichigo would have to step in to fight. Don Kanonji returns later in the series to check in on Ichigo's progress, referring to him as his pupil, so that he can train him. He knows exactly where to find Ichigo because he knows where to find Isshin. He settles on forming the karakura super heroes instead because without Ichigo around to train, he turns to Ichigo's sisters who are also Isshin's offspring. They're not shinigamis, but there is still training that Don Kanonji can do for them until they can unlock their shinigami powers.

Don Kanonji has shown some knowledge of shinigamis and hollows so it is likely he must know more than he's letting on. His wild and crazy personality actually matches Isshin's quite well so it would make sense that he would be picked to be Isshin's lieutenant. If Isshin was really the captain of the 11th squad as many suspect, then the insanity they must have had together could have established it as a place for the crazy battle hungry to gather.

Basically, Don Kanonji is too powerful a spiritual being to not be a shinigami. With no other explanation for his powers, that is what he must be. Since we know how useless fodder shinigami are, he must have been someone of a high rank and pairing him as Isshin' lieutenant makes the most sense due to their similar personalities and Don Kanonji's interest in Isshin's children.
 * But we've seen his thoughts. He had no idea what he was doing to the spirits.
 * He must be amnesiac then.
 * Either that, or he's using some sort of kido-type spell to obscure his thoughts. Assuming he was made a lieutenant, I'd think he'd easily have the skill required to do so.
 * Karakura town is special in a number of ways, it is possible that the hollow reformed faster than average after Kanonji created it. Also, it apparently wasn't a given that it would re-form anywhere nearby, as Rukia whips out her spirit pager to track it, only for it to reappear in plain sight, on the balcony. In fact, given Kanonji's goal of being an inspirational hero to kids, and his announcer stating that early use of his spirit cane was an unusual move, it is quite possible that Kanonji only rarely finds an actual hole to "exorcise," and the rest of the time just prances around and uses special effects.

Kenpachi will achieve bankai... and it will be... Super Saiyan Kenpachi
I actually lean more towards the theory of Kenpachi being Yachiru's shikai, but think about it: he would prefer not to have any kido-type bankai or anything that doesn't directly attack the enemy, so a power-up would be ideal for him. Furthermore, he is one of few characters in the series to have long, spiky hair. Finally, he has a Saiyan-esque love of battle, and, though it has not been implied or stated yet, a Saiyan-like ability to increase greatly in power after being injured in battle.
 * Ironically, this means that his only two attacks will be punches, kicks, chops, headbutts, etc. or ki attacks that make the physical attacks pale in comparison. His major turning point will be realizing that he needs to be a balanced fighter to keep up his Blood Knight tendencies, and that his pride is misplaced.

Kenpachi tastes like candy.
That's why Yachiru never leaves his side. And he's so strong that she can bite him all she wants and it won't do any damage.

The name of Kenpachi's zanpakto is Chuck Norris
And after hearing this, Aizen will scream like a little girl and run away, never to be seen again.
 * Wonder what the release command would be maybe "the eyes are apon you..."
 * already impossible due to the fat that you are actually suggesting that Chuck Norris can be controlled, now if Kenpachi was Chuck Norris' zanpakuto, that would make sense, given the amounts of badass that Kenpachi holds. P.S. Chuck Norris is awesome enough to have a zanpakuto without having to be a Shinigami, of course.

Orihime isn't Haruhi
She's the Anti-Christ. Her reality-warping superpowers are explicitly defined as the power to reject events - she either destroys the negative events that strike her shield-shield, erases the negative events affecting objects within her healing-shield, or outright obliterates whatever is struck by her sword-shield. In other words, Orihime's superpower is the ability to destroy anything she doesn't like, which is diametrically opposed to Haruhi's powers of creation. Additionally, her powers are closely linked to the number 6...
 * Alternatively, Orihime is Sailor Saturn - powers of destruction and only three spells: shield, healing, and slice-anything-in-half.

Ichigo's family is related to the Kuwabara family.
Think about it. Both the Kurosaki family and the Kuwabara family have advanced spiritual awareness, and one son from each family (Ichigo and Kuwabara) developed advanced spiritual powers. Both Ichigo and Kuwabara have similar personalities and characteristics, being school-age street punks who are actually kindhearted, can see ghosts, and are very protective of their friends. Karin and Shizuru are also somewhat similar, both being strong-willed girls with some spiritual awareness, but no involvement in their brothers' affairs. Not only that, but both Isshin and Kuwabara's dad (shown here) look similar and. Lets face it, if they're not related, then at the very least, they're WAY too similar for it to be a mere coincidence.
 * Kuwabara and Kurosaki have sorta similar meanings as well. But Kazuma is a bit different; it means sincere peace.

The King of the Soul Society is Haruhi Suzumiya.
Because Haruhi can pop up anywhere.
 * Like inside Yoruichi, Tatsuki, or Ururu?
 * Stop that. He can hear you.

Grimmjow is afraid of Zommari.
Because Zommari ate Aaroniero.
 * ROFL.
 * This WMG is So Bad Its Good.
 * Don't you mean it's because Zommari Szayel Aaroniero? and yes, this troper does indeed enjoys Incredibly Lame Pun.

Ichigo will shoot himself when he turns 27.
And no one will get this way too obscure joke.

Aizen only wants to take over the world because Lelouche Geassed him into it.
The final battle will be Ichigo vs Lelouche. It will be JYB's greatest challange ever.

When he was alive, Shinji was a priest called Xellos.
But don't let it get out: it's a secret.

Zanpaku-to are the daemons of the dead.
They're an extension of the soul, they have their own names, personalities, and forms reflective of their wielder's fighting styles and personalities... Yes, a daemon supposedly vanishes when a person dies, but not all souls have zanpaku-to in Bleach; maybe it just takes a certain amount of supernatural power and willpower for a dead person to get them back/get them at all.
 * Yay, someone else who got to thinking about this particular crossover!

Arrancar are another version of the daemons of the dead.
It could be an excuse for their animal-based traits... and for that matter some of their names. Though I'm not sure how their own zanpaku-to fit into the equation, even though it is stated that the nature of an Arrancar zanpaku-to is way different from a shinigami one.

Onozuka Komachi of Touhou is related to Rangiku enough to explain her nature
Both are lazy big breasted shinigami that manage to get on their master's nerves i can only picture what would happen if both Rangiku and Komachi got together much to the ire of Shikieiki and Hitsugaya.

Both Ichigo and Rukia are in love with Orihime, and are eventually going to start having (sometimes comic-relief, sometimes not) territorial fights over her
There's actually a lot that suggests the two like her, and given recent events and their strong personalities, it makes sense for them to grow more protective/slightly possesive of Orihime. Due to her growing self-esteem issues, Orihime is not going to comprehend the two of them liking her and just think she's causing trouble for their relationsip. (making her self-esteem even worse.)
 * I think I love you.

Somehow, Orihime has two different dimensional counterparts.

 * Hinata and Mikuru. All three are shy and busty. Hinata and Orihime have a secret crush on the protagonist. Mikuru and Orihime are both clumsy redheads. Hinata and Mikuru are extremely reservered. Mikuru may also harbor interest for Kyon as well. Also, while Mikuru is "a walking shrine of Moe", Hinata and Orihime also show Moe traits. Is it even coincidental that they have the same voice in English? Well, for this case, it could have something to deal with her Shun Shun Rikka.

Lisa Yadomaru is japanese-american and got to the Soul Society in the past via time paradox.
Because there is no way I will accept that a natural born japanese girl- born and raised in japan centuries ago- has the first name Lisa.
 * Risa is a perfectly good Japanese name, though.

Nel is Yotsuba&!

 * Don't believe me: BEHOLD!
 * Must... make... Mot of this... now...

Aizen's real plan for creating a new King's Key...
...is to trick us tropers into making this WMG page so long it collapses into itself, as a substitute for the 100,000 souls required otherwise.

Kyoraku likes to hang around at Duel Monsters Tournaments with his Shikai released.
Which is why everyone in Yu-Gi-Oh takes their children's card games very, very seriously.

Ryuken Ishida is related to Sachie Ishida (Hayate's doctor) of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
The two of them are doctors, and it's possible that Ryuken insisted that Sachie not become a Quincy since she isn't the Last Quincy. It's possible she shares his attitude on it, especially since she's a Muggle to the point of not knowing about magic, the TSAB or who the Wolkenritter really are in the third Sound Stage of A's when most of the cast's family and friends have heard about them.

Bleach takes place in an alternate history where Japan and Mexico are the only countries.
Why not?
 * Make that Japan, Mexico and Germany. Some Quincy-related names are in German, and their origin might very well be German as well, despite the Ishida family being at least partially Japanese.
 * Aizen blew Germany up.
 * Keigo mentions vacationing in Hawaii at one point.

The Bleach universe is an alternate universe of the Suzumiya Haruhi universe.
Really, the coincidences are so coincidential it's scary. Ordinary High School Student (Kyon and Ichigo) meets girl who changes his life in some way (Haruhi and Rukia). The boy and the girl are part of a Five Man Band. The other three members are a Moe large-chested redhead (Mikuru and Orihime), a smart, bespectacled, stoic bookworm often called by their last name (Nagato and Ishida), and a significantly-taller guy with shaggy hair also known by their last name (Koizumi and Sado).
 * Also, Tsuruya is Tatsuki (stronger, more confident friend to the moe redhead) and Taniguchi and Kunikida are Keigo and Mizuiro (one is a passionate Casanova Wannabe, the other a normal-acting character that follows him around; both Those Two Guys to the protagonist).
 * Here is more proof. Warning: May shatter universes.

Aizen will be captured by Candle Jack
And Gin will have to find and untie him befo ""I'm gonna need more rope.""
 * Of course! It all makes so much sen
 * Hey, you didn't actually say Candlejack. ...oh sh

Kubo has been playing too much WoW.
He's turning Yammy into a raid boss. "Rukia: Alright, even numbers left side, odd numbers right side!
 * This troper can just see it now...

Chad: (Gets smacked away)

Rukia: Many whelps, left side! Handle it!

Renji: (Gets stomped)

Rukia: That's a 50 DKP MINUS!"

"Rukia: ICHIGO KUROSAKIIIIIIII!!! (or KENPACHI ZARAKIIIIIIIIIII!!!)"
 * Seriously, someone should stomp YOU for saying that...
 * --> Ichigo (or Kenpachi) ignoring her, runs right into the enemy

Aizen has ONE WEAKNESS
Getting hit with a telephone pole.
 * It makes perfect sense! Chad totally needs to do some more pwnage, and this would be awesome.

Aizen's bankai...
Allows him to kidnap schmucks and dump them in a literal sea of Mind Rape water. So if drowning doesn't kill them, the mind rape will.

The Kido Corps consists of former auctioneers.
Kido requires a wordy incantation for full effect. The best way to minimize casting time without sacrificing power? Talk really fast.

Orihime is really a Exorcist and her innocence manifests as the Shun Shun Rikka.
Or maybe she's an Omega Level Mutant with a crazy new type of mutation that manifests outside of her because it's power is too great to be kept inside her body... And she will be called the Fairy Queen.
 * So, Orihime is Fyora?
 * YES.

The next arcs
something I'd posted a while back in Recycled Script:
 * A Running Gag among this troper and his friends is that the next two arcs will proceed as follows:
 * Ichigo has to learn his Quincy powers in the Rescue Tatsuki Arc. Aizen has kidnapped his female friend in a new dimension, Hell, as an elaborate plot to get everything he ever wanted. He succeeds. The regular humans, especially Chad and Orihime, are marginalized in favor of the same Soul Society members we see all the damn time, who continue their streak of failing to do their damn jobs.
 * Ichigo has to learn his Hell powers in the Rescue Chizuru Arc. Aizen has kidnapped his female friend in a new dimension, Purgatory, as an elaborate plot to get everything he ever wanted. He succeeds. The regular humans, especially Chad and Orihime, are marginalized in favor of the same Soul Society members we see all the damn time, who continue their streak of failing to do their damn jobs. Likely a Tournament Arc.
 * KSPAM: And then he will be deemed too powerful and God will fight him to the death. Obviously Ichigo will win, since he's basically a self-resurrecting cockroach. Ichigo will then eat God and become Haruhi Suzumiya.

Kubo's hiatuses are...
...excuses to troll TV Tropes for ideas.
 * He's giving way too much hints. I want to see how it ends. If he ever confirms this, prepare for slow site traffic; it'll be all Bleach fans (and some mangaka) coming here to suck clever theories like a mosquito does with blood.
 * ...what hints? o_O (simple and/or clichéd twists that anyone could've predicted?)
 * On the off chance that this theory is true and Kubo is reading this: Kubo-san, there are a lot of ideas regarding how various Arrancar could have survived further up the page. Please take the hint, their apparent deaths were a serious let down. You don't have to make them do a Heel Face Turn or anything, but they could at the very least die deaths that are more fitting for someone of their power level (seriously, no one is buying that the Primara could be taken out by a Shikai).

If Bleach starts to drop considerably, with low chances of recovering...
Tite Kubo will (partially) turn it into a harem series. There's already a complete setting prepared for that (there are around five or six females that already talked a bit to Ichigo and fit the stereotypes, and two or three males to add variety), he'd only need more perverted jokes.

Shinji Hirako has become self-aware
He's realized that he's just a supporting character in a shounen series, and therefore cannot take down the bad guy. He's figured out that Ichigo is the main character and is just waiting for him to show up and take over. He's just planning on keeping Aizen busy until Ichigo shows up at the last moment.
 * Which is why he asked Hacchi to take care of Hiyori until Ichigo arrives: he knows Ichigo will bring a healer with him.

Yammy was Bruce Banner in his prior life.
Can't be too crazy can it?
 * It's actually so not crazy we can't even call that "wild".
 * More like an incarnation of the Hulk rather than Banner himself. Maybe they split after death?

Kenpachi's Bankai
...will be a guitar, with which he'll defeat the Espada with the Power of Rock. While he's playing, allies will randomly be ressurected, things will randomly explode, Tousen's somewhat-better-than-average hearing will backfire horribly, and Kenpachi will end the song by banging down his guitar over the head of Tousen...or Aizen...or Yammy...whoever's left.
 * So... Kanpachi is Eddie Riggs?
 * Hell Yeah!

L is Ulquiorra.
Just hear me out people. I suppose you've noticed the non-linear way that the title is compared to other Ulquiorra is L theories? That's because I think that after Ulquiorra died(again, technically), he was reincarnated as L. Hey, we're not entirely sure of the specific year Bleach takes place in, and reincarnation hasn't been proved to not exist in Bleach. IT COULD HAPPEN.
 * One more L theory? Okay, but just to complete it, it's not even proven that reaincarnation in Bleach could be linear in time or something. Chad could be Yachiru's reincarnation and not know it.

Aizen's bankai will be the Apple of Eden.
Add mind control to his super powerful illusions.

Ichigo will get a Resurrección and it will include a chainsaw
Thanks to Tosen we now know that a Vizard can have a Resurrección form, so what is the next logical power-up for Ichigo? Resurrección! I hereby predict that Ichigo's release command will be Rev Zangetsu and Ichigo will be transformed into something that looks like a Badass Biker with a Leatherface imitation mask. Zangetsu will become a a black, red and gold chainsaw with a twelve-foot blade that constantly drips oil and blood; belching black smoke all over the damn place.
 * And the HSQ would go through the roof. I so want this to happen, but he needs a motorbike to complete it. Also, Orihime and Rukia riding on either of his shoulders. For the sexy.
 * Maybe the "new Hollow form" he used to kill Ulquiorra is his Ressurreción.

Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World is an alternate version of Bleach
After numerous jokes about how the main character of said game is Ichigo Kurosaki, This Troper believes that the similarities run deep. Therefore, at the end of the series, Ichigo will discover that he is a squirrel who guards the source of all life.

The entire series is a massive Xanatos Gambit set up by Kubo...
...To revive his previous series, Zombie Powder. I predict that every main hero will be defeated, and when it looks like Aizen has won, a garganta opens, revealing the main cast of Zombie Powder!

In the Anime, when Aizen is defeated, and you know he will be eventually, the scene will have Coldplay's Viva La Vida playing in the background.
And if it doesn't, Youtube will promptly be spammed by a billion fanvideos with the song playing over the scene.
 * But right before that, the battle will feature Emery's The Poor and the Prevalent.

Kubo's final, god-level trolling of the Bleach fandom will come in the form of a revelation that he is actually a woman.
Seriously. Think about that for a second. The existence of Double Standards alone would have the 'base shitting its collective pants.

Yachiru is a Time Beetle
She sticks to peoples backs, becomes nigh impossible to remove, then tells them to turn left.

Aizen is the Anti-Spiral
Or at least one of his incarnations. He doesn't actually care about the King's Key, he just wants to troll as much "absolute despair" as he can. I mean, just look at the recently, where he. Unfortunately for the protaganists, nobody has any Spiral Energy, so they are completely helpless before him. Until Kenpachi finally uses his Shikai. Which will be a drill. Which causes him to GO BEYOND AND THE IMPOSSIBLE AND KICK REASON TO THE CURB, breaking all of Aizen's illusions, shortly before skewering him with a galaxy shuriken.

The entire story is actually an anti-drug parable.
Aizen represents a drug user, craving and wanting his fix of more and more 'power' and using manipulation and violence to achieve getting funds (i.e. the souls of others) to pay for his habit, ultimately becoming a drug dealer as well. The ultimate high is represented by the Hogyoku, which Aizen possesses and uses believing it to be the the 'key' to solving all of his problems, allowing him to be 'king' of his reality through artificial means. Unfortunately the end result is that he eventually loses his body, becoming little more than a physical freak, and his sanity as a result of overdosing on 'power'. The Arrancar, speciaically the Espada (being artificially constructed by Aizen, of course) represent not just mere death, but Aizen's death, as well as the side-effects of taking drugs, physically, emotionally and socially. The lieutenants who helped him betray Soul Society are his enablers and helpers, who only break free from his charism (because even on drugs Aizen retains some of that charisma up until he starts to physically change) themselves after Aizen pushes them aside in his increasingly obsessive quest for his fix (i.e. kills them). Soul Scoiety, on the other hand, represents people Aizen knows who go through life by evolving without drugs/help, and some are trying to get through to Aizen without success. Ichigo's friends represent people who tried the drug and ultimately resisted taking it. And Ichigo represents Aizen's antithesis: a man who does not need to use drugs to find his own power, but rather resisted the temptation fully and ultimately became the stronger person and conquered his own insecurities - which would have been the impetus into causing Ichigo to use drugs as well - thanks to the help of his friends and family. Hence why.

Aizen will become Big Brother
The Soul Reapers will become the party members and the humans are the Proles.

The Amagai and Zanpaktou filler arcs are dreams that Grimmjow is having
The former he dreamed about after he was briefly knocked out by Ichigo, and the latter after he faded into unconciousness after Nnoitra attacks him. By extension most of the filler arcs we're having now are also his dreams, explaining his long absence in the series.

There will be more attractive female characters to be introduced
. Jackie's a good-looking one for those into tomboyish chicks. Riruka's nice-looking for those into early-teen girls. Ikumi's a really Hot Mom in her early to mid teens. There'll be more later on, mark my words.

Bleach was originally supposed to have been a hentai
And would've, too, had it been a seinen. Almost all of the characters are good-looking, nearly everyone is a Fetish Fuel Station Attendant, plenty of them get put in tons of different, alluring outfits, and they have some subtle and not so subtle Ho Yay, Les Yay and Foe Yay. All of the guys have well-sculpted abs and get their cltohes torn apart a lot. The girls are voluptuous with boobs, hips, asses and curves, or are just cute-looking, and tend to wear either revealing or provocative outfits. What's stopping them from getting some more action on the side?
 * Perhaps Kubo practices his skills by drawing some really weird porn, takes liking to the design of some characters, decides against creating porn with established caracters so he creates new ones and repeats the cycle. It explains why he feels compelled to introduce so many new characters so often. Try not to think too hard about what could've inspired Starrk and Lilinette if this guess DOES hold true.

Kubo is about to troll the shippers. Hard.
Kubo always hinted that he had big plans for Tatsuki, evidenced by her frustration of the growing gap between her and Ichigo and now with her cryptic statement in the last chapter. It could be that Kubo is setting Tatsuki up to be both a Victorious Childhood Friend and Third Option Love Interest in the most "did not see that one coming" way possible for an established character. Which, incidentally, will also make it Strangled By the Red String. You know it's something he'd do.
 * My money's on Halibel.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi and Yoruichi Shihoin are somehow related
And why not? Both have fairly dark skin, yellow eyes, dark hair... I'm just thinking, why exactly was Mayuri in prison? Sure, he's batshit crazy, but that doesn't quite explain it. You know how families used to lock up their mentally impaired children in the attic or barn so no one would see them? I was thinking... maybe that's a bit like what's going on. Family didn't want to deal with him, so they locked 'im up. It sounds a little crazy... and that's why it works.

This is just something I like imagine, but...
I personally think that Ulquiorra has a hidden panel in his closet. You know, the kind people only know about if they lean on it. Behind it, it would a thick piece of glass that holds a cabinet filled with all sorts of weaponry available that wouldn't make Aizen question it. Attached to the glass is a sign that states  He just seems like the kind of person who would have something to hide, or be paranoid about something that has a low risk of existing. And five bucks says there's a #-digit keypad or seven different locks to open the door just to get inside.

Ichigo is the super ego, Shirosaki is the id, and Ulquiorra is the ego of the reincarnated soul of Lelouch vi-Britania.
That explains why Ichigo and Shirosaki are always at cross purposes and Ulquiorra, being the ego separated from the id, lacked purpose and was so obsessed with what he could see with his eyes. When  he was simply reabsorbed into Ichigo and that is why he could feel something for Orihime as he died. Also it explains why Shirosaki was much more amiable after  The id was finnaly refused and partially restrained by the ego It also explains why the Getsuga Tensho and Cero Obscuras were so similar. Why Lelouch? Because Johnny Yong Bosch voiced both Ichigo and Lelouch and I think Lelouch resembles Ichigo and Ulquiorra. Furthermore I think Orihime is Shirley reincarnated. They are both kinda silly redheads who fall face first in love with the good looking protagonist

We're going to see more old Soul Society and alot of loose ends are about to be tied up.
Mayuri was chewing on the head captain's ass in in a recent chapter (490?) about how he failed to kill that man a thousand years ago, and it's right in the middle of a very important and critical plot point, so why wouldn't Kubo pull the nice trick of interrupting it with a flashback? Turn back the Pendulum did it, and we ALL know he has a bit of a habit of recycling plot points (not that it doesn't make an entertaining story). Personally, I would like to see Mayuri's backstory explained a bit more in depth, and I'm looking forward to seeing the head captain when he was younger, if that will be shown. Muttonchops probably gave him that nice scar on his head, the x-shaped one. You don't get a scar like that unless someone carves it there on purpose.

Grimmjow is Elvis.
Because why the hell not? Grimmjow does think of himself as the King, after all.

Hanataro is the actual mastermind behind everything that's happened until now and the one we think is the Vandereich leader is actually just his Dragon.
Just like Aizen, he's hiding his real evil self behind a mask of kindness and (in his case) incompetence. He was actually a Quincy when he was alive and his hatred of Shinigami lives on in him. He joined the Gotei 13 to destroy them from the inside, purposely joining the Fourth Division so he could make sure there were no survivors once the Vandereich invade.

Isshin's Zanpakuto name is "Ichigo" and it's release phrase is "Good Morning, Ichigo."
Because it's funny.

Coyote Starrk was a member of Stark family.
Not just the name. The symbol of the Stark family is the direwolf, a large species of wolf. Coyote Starrk's Resurreccion is called "Los Lobos", which means "wolwes" in Spanish.