Lolicon/Quotes

"I, I, I love little girls They make me feel so good I love, little girls They make me feel so bad When they're around they make me feel Like I'm the only guy in town I love, little girls They make me feel so good"

- Oingo Boingo, "Little Girls"

"Good morning little schoolgirl, can I come home with you? Tell your mama and your papa I'm a little schoolboy too Come on now pretty baby I just can't help myself You're so young and pretty I don't need nobody else"

- Grateful Dead, "Good morning little schoolgirl."

"There was a little girl Who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good And when she was bad, she was very, very popular."

- Max Miller, The Max Miller Blue Book

"O pretty child, your little heart will tremble before many men... Your grandmother thinks she is raising you among the lilies as a sensible girl, but you have slipped down to the flood-fields of hyacinth where Kypris has unharnessed her horses, and hitched them on a rope. And you have burst, little foal, into the middle of summer, exciting the hearts of many idle poets, Herotima, whom all men would ride."

- Anacreon (570 BC-488 BC)

"Republicans understand the importance of the bondage between parent and child."

- Dan Quayle

"In other news, children are getting sexier... and that's pretty cooooool."

- Tom Tucker, Family Guy

"Aide: Niiiiiice. Professor Oak: She's TEN you sick fuck!"

- VG Cats, Super Effective #30

"Ragamuffin: Look, man, I don't know what your problem is, but your reign of harassment ends now or I'll cut you, bitch. She's a ten year old girl anyway. You even realize how creepy you are? Mr. Gosh: Yeah, but she's been 10 for a loooooong time now, man."

- Ragamuffin and Mr. Gosh in Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl

"If I had killed somebody, it wouldn't have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But, fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!"

- Roman Polanski, in an interview with Martin Amis in 1979. He should know, too: he was accused of drugging and raping a 13 year old girl.

"Her friends are so jealous You know how bad girls get Sometimes it's not so easy To be the teacher's pet Temptation, frustration So bad it makes him cry Wet bus stop, she's waiting His car is warm and dry"

- The Police, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

"Loose talk in the classroom To hurt they try and try Strong words in the staffroom The accusations fly It's no use, he sees her He starts to shake and cough Just like the old man in That book by Nabokov"

- The Police, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

"Lolli lolli lolli lolli Let me see you pop that body Chocolate lolli Cherry lolli Vanilla Lolli Pink lolli Red hot Red hot Red hot hot make that lolli pop"

- Three 6 Mafia, "Lolli Lolli"

"Sitting on a park bench Eying little girls with bad intent"

- Jethro Tull, "Aqualung"

"Lewis: Damn kids! (sigh) Sometimes I think I should have just stayed in Peru moving coke. Machado was a cold bastard but he was good to his men. Once you drew blood for him you were set. Hooch, blow, girls, not women, GIRLS, little bitty things- Secretary: (swings open office door) Brian! Lewis: (notices school PA is on) Oh fuck."

- Principal Lewis, American Dad

"If I am Lolita Then you are a criminal And you should be killed By an army of little girls The law won't arrest you The world won't detest you You never did anything Any man wouldn't do I'm Gothic Lolita And you are a criminal I'm not even legal I'm just a dead little girl But ruffles and laces And candy sweet faces Directed your furtive hand I perfectly understand So it's my fault? No, Gothic Lolita"

- Emilie Autumn, "Gothic Lolita"

""We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. We're going back next year.""

- Groucho Marx

"Someone was remarking elsewhere that [ Drew Barrymore] looks the same now as she did in ET, only with breasts. They said, "You're watching ET and saying, 'oh yeah, Drew Barrymore, rawr' and suddenly 'holy crap she's, like, THREE!' and you're gouging your eyes out with a spoon.""

- "Legomancer", on the Straight Dope Website, 9/21/01