Blatant Lies/Film

Films that are NOT Live Action
"Agent J: Thank you for participating in our drill. Had this been an actual emergency, y'all woulda been eaten. 'Cause you don't listen. How's a man gonna come bustin' through the back of a subway -- it's the same with all y'all New Yorkers! You think you've seen it all, "ooh, another six-hundred-foot worm, save us mister black man!" I ask y'all nicely to move forward to the next car, but you just sit there like... * flash* Thank you for participating in our drill. We hope you have enjoyed our shorter, more energy-efficient subway cars. Watch your step; you will have a nice evening."
 * First Charlie's Angels movie: Alex and her actor boyfriend are rehearsing a "bomb defusing" scene, and Alex lets slip some technobabble. To cover it up she says, "Isn't it amazing what you can learn on the internet?"
 * In X2: X-Men United, Bobby Drake presents Wolverine to his parents (who think he's been attending a normal prep school) as "Professor Logan". This in itself is borderline, but when the Drakes ask Wolverine what he teaches, he replies tersely, "Art." The trailers for the film played this to maximum effect by intercutting the question and the response with a shot of Logan, claws extended, screaming and leaping towards the camera.
 * Maybe he meant martial art.
 * Whole point of the Neuralizer in Men in Black.

"Han: Everything is under control. Situation normal. Intercom Officer: What happened? Han: Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you? Intercom Officer: We're sending a squad up. Han: Uh, uh, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak...very dangerous. Intercom Officer: Who is this? What's your operating number? Han: Uh...(blasts commlink) Boring conversation anyway."
 * In Star Trek IV the Voyage Home, Kirk claims that Spock's odd behavior is due to him doing a lot of "LDS" during the sixties.
 * This exchange from Star Wars:

"Harvey Dent: Lightly irradiated bills. Fancy stuff for a city cop. Have help? Lieutenant Gordon: We liaise with various agencies. Harvey Dent: Save it, Gordon. I wanna meet him. Lieutenant Gordon: Official policy is to arrest the vigilante known as "Batman" on sight. Harvey Dent: Mm-hm. And what about that floodlight on top of MCU? Lieutenant Gordon: If you've got problems with malfunctioning equipment, I suggest you take them up with maintenance, counselor."
 * Might have worked if he rehearsed the Bavarian Fire Drill in advance.
 * "These aren't the droids you're looking for."
 * Iron Man: "Nothing to worry about, just a training exercise."
 * The Dark Knight Saga

"Dr. Sobel: I thought you were in prison? Jelly: It would appear not. Dr. Sobel: How'd you get out? Jelly: I had a new trial. Turns out that the evidence in the first trial was tainted. Dr. Sobel: Oh, I see. Jelly: Anyway, two of the witnesses decided not to testify and the third guy, well, he commited suicide. Dr. Sobel: How? Jelly: He stabbed himself in the back four times and threw himself off a bridge."
 * The many explanations to which the local police in Hot Fuzz chalk up the horrific murders in the town of Sandford are blatant lies. This is underlined when Nicholas Angel has go along with the stock explanation for a local woman's brutal murder (which took place in front of him): "She tripped and fell on her own shears."
 * To elaborate; the Blatant Lies are actually perpetrated by the conspiracy that surrounds the village, but most of the cops have had their instincts so dulled by both the conspiracy and the peaceful life it produces that they instinctively buy into these lies, regardless of how nakedly absurd they are. Typical response to the incident mentioned above: "So... you're saying it wasn't an accident?"
 * In Mystery Men, The Bowler's father supposedly died when he "fell down an elevator shaft... onto some bullets".
 * The Crazies. Ogden Marsh is "The Friendliest place on Earth". It's possible they probably came up with the moniker before the outbreak of the illness that turns you Ax Crazy...
 * Guest House Paradiso. Eddie is in the reception area welcoming new guest Gina Carbonara. There is a massive explosion from the kitchen. Eddie: "Mice." (pause) "Basque Seperatist mice."
 * Analyze This had a scene where Dr. Sobel runs into Paul Vitti's right hand man, Jelly, who was "previously incarcerated".

"Bodyguard: Everything's under control. Chris: Under control? You're getting a fucking BAZOOKA!"
 * Kick-Ass: With gunfire clearly audible in the background:

"To a random hot girl on the street: If you don't have sex with me right now, the world will end! Girl: Oh my goodness! Do we need to do it right here, or do we have time to get a hotel room?!"
 * At the end of Diggstown, after Gabriel Caine openly, in front of the entire town, orders Menoso Torres to take a fall in the last bout, John Gillon tells Caine "You beat me fair and square." He means it.
 * Not so much the movie itself, but for Friedberg and Seltzer's latest film, Vampires Suck, there have been a bunch of "reviews" claiming the movie is funny. No sources given. Plus, one name is actually Ivona Tinkle; they're just making reviews up to make their movie seem more appealing.
 * Pretty much the entire plot of the movie The Invention of Lying. In a world where everyone always tells the truth, a man figures out how to lie. Everyone believes everything he says without question, leading to the exchange:

"Larry: I didn't see anything! I was looking at my watch! Richard: I'm blind!"
 * For added points, notice that the "random hot girl on the street" is played by Stephanie March, who also played ADA Cabot on Law & Order: SVU. As the main character is about to rape her, there's a certain irony.
 * Coneheads: "We're from France."
 * Guide for the Married Man from 1967 has Walter Matthau thinking of infidelity; his friend coaches him on what to do. One vignette has a wife walk in while her husband and mistress are in bed (afterglow time) and he simply repeatedly denies that the mistress is even there. The wife walks away, disbelieving her own eyes.
 * The Godfather: "Is it true?" "No." And she believes it.
 * In Weekend at Bernie's, an unhinged mob hitman bursts into a scene and shoots the titular corpse several times. Unfortunately, the protagonists are standing right there. This leads to:

"Jack: Hector! It's been too long! ...Hasn't it? Barbossa: Aye. Isla de Muerta. Remember? You shot me. Jack: (Beat) No, I didn't."
 * Terry Silver's speech about what he's got from karate in The Karate Kid Part III. He's a borderline-psychotic sadist who says that he's got discipline, health, inner-peace and self-confidence from karate, and he's about to open some dojos to teach karate full of honesty, compassion and fair play. The crowd love it, but we see several shots that show us that Daniel and Mr Miyagi are clearly not buying it.
 * The fourth Pirates of the Caribbean:

"Frank/Dad: Would you please explain what you're doing in this picture? Rodrick: That's not me. Frank/Dad: That's not you? (beat) Rodrick: ... Nope."
 * This doozie from the second Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, Rodrick Rules:

"Wadsworth: Your first husband also disappeared. Mrs. White: But that was his job. He was an illusionist. Wadsworth: But he never reappeared! Mrs. White: He wasn't a very good illusionist."
 * In Clue, Mrs. White uses this to explain away what happened to her first husband.


 * In A Knight's Tale, Prince Edward justifies knighting William by announcing that he's discovered Will is descended from nobility. Though pretty obviously a lie, he basically dares anyone to call him on it: "This is my word, and as such is beyond contestation."
 * The Muppets: "Change of heart. Nothing to do with head injury."


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