Game of Thrones/Recap/S1/E01 Winter Is Coming

"Lord Eddard Stark: Winter is Coming"

We start our series in the far north of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, at the 700-foot tall frozen barrier known simply as the Wall. Three rangers of the Night's Watch--Wil, Gared and the knight Ser Waymar Royce--have been sent beyond the Wall to track a band of wildlings that have committed recent raids and ambushes. Wil is the one to find the wildlings... already dead, their body parts spread in a circle. Even worse, by the time Wil gets the rest of his party there, said body parts have gotten up and wandered off. As the rangers head back for the Wall, shadowy figures of legend, the White Walkers, show up and begin the slaughter anew...

After a freaking awesome credits sequence, our young ranger Wil is the only one left alive. He's in greener pastures (quite literally), having made his way south of the Wall; officially he's a deserter, a wanted criminal. He is gathered up by guardsmen in the employ of Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell, Warden and nominal ruler of the North--if the king is president, Ned Stark is the state governor. Messengers interrupt a happy afternoon at home: Ned's heir Robb and bastard son Jon Snow teach his next-youngest son, Bran, how to shoot, whilst daughters Sansa and Arya occupy themselves with needlework and Ned presides over it all with his wife Catelyn. At news of the captured deserter, Ned takes his three sons, as well as his ward Theon Greyjoy, with him to pass judgment. (Technically there is a fourth son, Rickon, but he's something like six and he shows up maybe three times all season. You can safely put him from your mind for the nonce.)

Bran, all of ten years old, watches his father pass sentence over the deserter and execute him. Ned explains to him that the blood of the First Men flows in the veins of the Starks; "Our way is the old way." Ned feels he owes it to the men he executes to look into their eyes and hear their final words. On the way home, however, there is another delightful interlude: a dead direwolf... and its pups, still alive and quite adorable. Though Ned feels it would be kinder to put them out of their misery, Jon Snow points out that there are five children, five puppies, the direwolf is their House sigil, etc. In the book, a big deal is made of how bastard-born Jon has to leave himself out to make the math line up, but either way it ends up working out: Jon finds the sixth, an albino runt who was driven away from rest of the pack.

There's a short scene at King's Landing, where a blonde man and a blonde woman--Ser Jaime Lannister of the Kingsguard, and his twin sister Queen Cersei Lannister--have a cryptic conversation about keeping secrets whilst a funeral goes on. Up at Winterfell, Catelyn brings a letter to Ned, apparently the page of script explaining what the funeral was about: it was for Lord Jon Arryn of the Eyrie, Hand of the King (read: vice president) these past seventeen years until his untimely death by disease. The letter also claims that Robert Baratheon, the First of his Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, is coming north to Winterfell to visit his best friend Ned, whom he has not seen in years. Three guesses why

The month of travel this requires is abbreviated, consisting mostly of a shirtless Robb, Jon and Theon getting prettied up. Finally King Robert arrives, which Bran observes from the rooftops (he loves to climb) and Arya from under a half-helm (she's a tomboy). The king's family are introduced--his children Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen (bolded names indicate characters whose actors are listed in the opening credits), his wife Cersei, her twin brother Jaime; but their younger brother, the dwarf Tyrion Lannister, is nowhere to be found. (Jaime later finds him in a brothel, partaking in the goods, drinking and dispensing snark.) It becomes quickly clear that Robert and Ned are old friends; in fact, Robert was once betrothed to Ned's younger sister Lyanna, before she contracted a serious case of the dead. Whilst visiting her grave in the Stark family crypts below Winterfell, Robert asks Ned to take Jon Arryn's place as Hand of the King. He also offers to betrothe Joffrey to Sansa, joining House Stark and Baratheon. The scene in the crypts also introduces some of the series' Backstory: seventeen years ago, Robert, Ned and Jon Arryn fought a rebellion against the Targaryen dynasty, deposing them and installing Robert on the Iron Throne. But two Targaryens still live...

In the Free City of "Pentos, across the Narrow Sea," Princess Daenerys Targaryen waits in a spectacularly flimsy gown. Her rather creepy brother, Viserys Targaryen, self-proclaimed Rightful King of Westeros, arrives and announces that, with the help of Magister Illyrio Mopatis, he has successfully brokered an Arranged Marriage for her: she will wed Khal Drogo, a horselord of the Dothraki (basically, Genghis Khan), whose army Viserys will use to reconquer Westeros. As part of the visit, Viserys strips her naked and fondles her breast, whilst Daenerys stands there and woobies through it. Dany, for her part, wades into a bath which is visibly steaming, despite protestations that she will burn herself. This will be important later.

Anyway, Khal Drogo arrives. He is a man of few words (a fact lampooned when actor Jason Momoa submitted his work on the series for Emmy consideration), and Viserys is not entirely sure he approves of his new bride and her spectacularly flimsy gown. (Seriously. The poor thing's nipples are pretty obvious.) Daenerys, understandably, wibbles that she'd rather not enter into this dynastic marriage, but Viserys is having none of it: he wants the Seven Kingdoms, and "I would let his whole tribe fuck you, all 40,000 men and their horses too, if that's what it took" to get it. To judge by her Reaction Shot, Dany is skeeved out. So is the audience.

Back in Winterfell, there's a feast going on for the king. Robert is doing what he does best--seducing serving wenches--whilst Queen Cersei looks on in cold disapproval (it's not a Death Glare, but it's close), largely unreceptive to Lady Catelyn's courtesy. Outside in the yard, Jon Snow is hacking away at a practice dummy with a sword, having been barred from the feast for fear of offending the royal family, and is thus best positioned to receive his uncle Benjen Stark, First Ranger of the Night's Watch, who has come for the feast. Jon begs Benjen to let him join the Night's Watch. He also runs into another late arrival, Tyrion Lannister, who (in addition to providing a serious dollop of "As You Know") gives Jon some useful words to live by: "Never forget what you are; the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor. Then it can never be used to hurt you." And, at Jon's retort that Tyrion knows nothing about bastardy: "All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes."

After the feast, Ned and Catelyn recline in bed trying to decide what to do. Neither want Ned to go south to that Wretched Hive we call a capitol, King's Landing, but the problem with kings is that it's difficult to turn them down gracefully. The situation is worsened by the arrival of a letter from Lady Lysa Arryn, Catelyn's sister and Jon Arryn's widow. This letter claims that Jon was murdered by the Lannisters, and suggests they plan to move next against Robert. Ned must now decide whether to abandon his best friend to almost-certain death or join him in it. Considering that Ned is a living embodiment of Honor Before Reason, you can guess which he's going to pick.

Next continent over, Daenerys is getting married to Khal Drogo. It's a savage business, with women dancing and men raping them, or occasionally fighting over who gets raping rights. (To quote the book: "Magister Illyrio had warned Dany about this too. 'A Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is deemed a dull affair,' he had said. Her wedding must have been especially blessed; before the day was over, a dozen men had died.") Dany does get three gifts. One is a few books from Westeros, a link to a home she's never even seen. The second is the giftor: ser Jorah Mormont of Bear Island, known to the Dothraki as "Jorah the Andal," a Westerosi knight who now travels across the narrow sea. And the third are from Magister Illyrio: dragon's eggs, three of them, long petrified from age but still beautiful. (We never get a close look at them on TV, but the books say one is cream and gold, one is green and bronze, and the last black and red.) Finally it's time for the consummation. Khal Drogo takes her far away from Pentos and bends the weeping girl over.

Finally, we're back at Winterfell, where Tyrion banters with Sandor Clegane, called The Hound, and Robert leads a royal hunting party out of the castle. Bran, who is going south to King's Landing with his father, takes this opportunity for one last climb on the walls of Winterfell. He comes across a blonde man and a blonde woman, naked and alone, doing what naked men and women have done together whilst naked and alone since the time of the First Men. One is the queen, Cersei Lannister. The other is not Robert, which is bad enough. Even worse: it's Jaime.

He sees them. They see him.

Bran loses his balance and almost falls, but Jaime rushes over and saves him. "It's all right, it's all right..." "He saw us!" Cersei retorts. "I heard you the first time," Jaime tells her. "How old are you, boy?" "Ten," Bran replies, clearly scared out of his wits.

Jaime looks from him, desperate and dishevelled on a window ledge, to Cersei, desperate and dishevelled on the floor. "The things I do for love," he says, and pushes Bran out the window.

Bran's body hits the ground. The credits roll.

Tropes featured in this episode include:

 * Acceptable Feminine Goals: Sansa seems to think so; she desperately wants to marry Joffrey. (The fact that she'd be Queen one day does play in some.)
 * As You Know: Being the pilot of a fantasy series, there are several, though most of them are subtle or sneakily hidden. Jaime Lannister starts a conversation with Cersei by saying "As your brother, I feel it's my duty to inform you..." Tyrion Lannister refers to Jon Snow as a bastard about ten times in one conversation, though it's justified as teaching him to be tough. Catelyn and Ned compare and contrast their gods when Catelyn visits her husband in his place of worship. The Stark children whisper to each other about the members of the royal court arriving in their yard. Daenerys exposits while questioning Illyrio's motives. And so on.
 * The commentary mocks one particularly painful bit where an exchange between Arya and Sansa is obviously dubbed in over a shot of Jaime, which exists due to some of the producers' friends who hadn't read the book not having caught on that he and Cersei were siblings by the time the Twincest reveal occurs.
 * Arranged Marriage: Cersei and Robert's marriage was arranged after Robert's love died. Viserys arranges a marriage between his sister Daenerys and Khal Drogo of the Dothraki. Robert and Ned arrange a marriage between Robert's son Joffrey, and Ned's daughter Sansa.
 * Chekhov's Gun: Bran climbing Winterfell's walls.
 * Clock Punk: The gorgeous title sequence.
 * Cool Big Sis: Jaime is Tyrion's cool older brother. He brings him a present and the present is whores.
 * Dark Is Not Evil / Light Is Not Good: The Lannisters are a trio of golden-haired siblings. Tyrion, the nicest of them, has dwarfism and is referred to as "the Imp." His tall, beautiful siblings are considerably less pleasant than he is.
 * First Episode Spoiler:
 * Foreshadowing: Daenerys doesn't notice how hot her bath is.
 * Moral Event Horizon: A subtle one from Viserys, who tells his sister, "I'd let his whole tribe fuck you, all forty thousand men and their horses too, if that's what it took." From then on, you know he's no good.
 * tries to murder a small child who saw him So... yeah.
 * Odd Friendship: Robert, a Boisterous Bruiser and Adipose Rex, and Ned (Sean Bean). The fact that Ned is the only person able to address Robert as a man instead of as "Your Grace"--not to mention the fact that Robert is one of the few people to get Ned to drop his Stoic exterior--says volumes about their friendship.
 * The Teaser: The 7 minute horror-tinged opening sequence featuring two Teaser Only Characters including the series' first Decoy Protagonist and culminating in the inevitable Fade to Black.
 * Wham! Line: "The things I do for love."