Devil Fish

No, not the species of large ray, but rather a spastically edited Italian Jaws ripoff from 1984, best known for appearing on Mystery Science Theater 3000's Season 9 episode.

The WOI (short for "Woi" - okay, okay, World Oceanic Institute) has made a fish. Not just any fish, mind you, but a giant, tentacled, beaked monstrosity that ignores every other source of food in the ocean to snack on whatever humans wind up in there. Why? For Science! Or possibly for money. Or maybe just shits and giggles; the movie isn't very clear on the "why". All that is clear is that they made a fish, and it has a taste for Italian.

For some reason, a scrawny appliance repairman named Peter is just the man to kill the fish. Or study it. Or perhaps even mate with it — again, it's not clear. Tagging along are an even scrawnier, Frampton-esque woman named Stella; a less skeletal woman named Janet, and an extremely beery British guy named Bob Hogan. This happy foursome of idiots is out to do whatever it is the script said to do, but they mostly pair off to go make out, down Budweiser by the barrel, and occasionally get themselves eaten by the titular corporate-sponsored squid/fish thing. Somewhere in the mix is a fantasically ugly Hitman brutally killing off every attractive woman in the cast for equally foggy reasons.

This film contains examples of:
"Bob: It lasted for three minutes.
 * The Alcoholic: Dr. Bob is at all times either drinking or cracking open a beer. The devil fish probably picked up a good buzz off of him. Naturally, the riffing on this starts off strong and doesn't stop.

Servo: (as Bob) Like my last 12-pack."

"Crow: Well, it's a nice butt, Mike."
 * All Women Are Lustful: Sandra.
 * Artistic License Biology: So, the Devil Fish is like an amoeba and if any scraps of its anatomy is cut off, it'll grow into a new Devil Fish? Really, movie?
 * Biological Mashup: We never get a very good look at the Devil Fish, but evidently it's a prehistoric shark/giant squid combo covered in barnacles.
 * The head and jaws are a Dunkleosteus, with the rest being an octopus (Pacific giant octopus, judging form the color). No shark parts as far as can be told. And since the characters say it has the intelligence of a dolphin, it probably has a dolphin brain.
 * Blue Eyes: On Sandra, a black woman. Looks kinda neat.
 * Cartoony Eyes: On Stella. Looks kinda creepy.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: Sandra. Full stop.
 * Did Not Do the Research: The female scientist, at the beginning of her informative lecture, says that fish with teeth first appeared "approximately 350 years ago". Which, aside from being a millions times later than it should be, has no importance when what they're dealing with is a creature that lived before, and itself has, no teeth.
 * Misplaced Wildlife: During said lecture, the scientist also points out a picture of another "protoshark," and how it was also a successful and vicious predator...which is absolutely hilarious to any marine biologist who recognizes the picture of the very modern-day, totally harmless basking shark.
 * Everybody Laughs Ending: The movie plays it straight; Crow and Servo don't.
 * Fake American: Oddly enough, the guy who played Peter actually is American...but they still dubbed him.
 * Pretty common in the 70's and 80's, every foreign film (even ones entirely in English like Mad Max) released in America was dubbed over.
 * Fan Disservice: Mike specifically complains about the repeated close up butt shots on Miller during his underwater fight with Peter. You could probably count Stella (aka Skeletor)'s entire existence, too.
 * Mike: "Gah, did the director think this guy was hot?"

"Sandra: Two geniuses should never work together.
 * Hot Scientist: Janet is a LOT more attractive than female lead Stella, who resembles Marfuska, ten years older.
 * Informed Ability: Quite a few characters refer to Peter as a genius. Nothing in the film seems to back up that claim.

Crow: But these two guys will be fine."

"(After Stella dives into the water.)
 * Informed Attractiveness: Stella, thanks to the 1970's concept that anorexic women were hot. Of course, this film was shot in 1984...

Mike: You know, she displaces no water at all."

"Mike: He's built like an action figure! He even has shoulder sockets so you can pose him."
 * Peter is similarly rail thin.

"Crow: Underwater fights are like the drum solos of films."
 * Large Ham: "I KNOW!!!"
 * Magical Defibrillator: Accidentally subverted. It's still depicted as magical revivifying device, but it just looks like using it on the bearded guy ended up finishing him off.
 * Meganekko: Janet wears big, Sally Jessie-style glasses when first introduced.
 * Much later in the film, The Glasses Come Off revealing Janet to be quite hot-looking.
 * The Mole: Sandra. As for the who, how and why: *shrug*
 * The pool scene implies that she worked for them in the past but gave it up. Again, this isn't really given any sort of clarification.
 * Sex, Dear Boy.
 * Monster Misogyny: Averted. Miller the killer accounts for nearly every female victim, although given that his methods are so violent that Best Brains had to cut the actual murder scenes, they may have rathered the fish got to them first.
 * Padding: The last third of the film is a lot of pointless swimming and boring fights.

"Sheriff: I think I'll decide on murder.
 * Police Are Useless: While it's not too egregious, there is a rather odd comment by the sheriff at the beginning regarding the lab technician's death.

Servo: What the hell."

"Servo: Man, Abyss 2 wasn't very good."
 * Polyamory: Every female in the film is fucking everybody.
 * Step Three Profit: Step One involves creating a monstrous fish that will destroy all life in the sea except for itself and propagate beyond anyone's control. It's flawless! You're just too old to understand! Too old For Science and too old for your wife!
 * Super Persistent Predator: There are plenty of other fish in the sea, but devil fish doesn't seem to give a crap about them.
 * At least they gave it a reason, it was design to attack boats.
 * Suspiciously Similar Song: The Devil Fish's theme doesn't sound anything at all like the Jaws theme.
 * Technology Marches On: The ship's computer graphics look like they were taken from an Atari 2600, which is pretty bad since the film was released in 1984.
 * When we first see Sandra, she's actually playing Scuba Diver, an Atari 2600. The game, fittingly, seems to have you playing a diver bringing up salvage and rescuing people while avoiding sharks. And it does look better than the ship's computer.

"Bob: How would you know, electrician?"
 * Too Dumb to Live: Miller warns Sandra that he's watching her, and that he'll kill her if she goes out of line. So, not one minute after he leaves her presence she tries to call the police at a public phone. It doesn't go well for her.
 * It was smart for her to do so at a public phone at the bar of a busy, crowded swimming pool-the stupidity manifested when she didn't start screaming bloody murder to attract attention to her attacker.
 * Viewer Friendly Interface: Simple Q&A format, large, easy-to-read font and habit of speaking every line of data out loud? Check, check, annnnnd check.
 * Worse, the computer feels it needs to emphasize plot points for the movie. "Professor Davis, DAVIS, DAVIS!"
 * Wardrobe Malfunction: The formula is as follows: Upward Camera Angle + Ladder × Peter ÷ Upsettingly Tiny Shorts = Unplanned Nut Shot
 * What Do You Mean Its Not Heinous: Being an ELECTRICIAN.


 * Later, when Bob is having a beer with Peter, Mike cracks, "Sorry about that electrician crack earlier. My father’s village was attacked by electricians."
 * You're Insane: Invoked by Dr. West.

"Bob, it's right underneath us!" "I knowww!"