The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

A 1999 novel by American humorist Christopher Moore. Set in the sleepy little town of Pine Cove (previously featured in the novel Practical Demonkeeping and later in The Stupidest Angel), it tells the story of drug dealers, dolphin-philiacs, psychologically unstable psychiatrists, retired B-movie stars, and the prehistoric sea monster who loves them.


 * Anything That Moves - Steve; he even tries having sex with a fuel truck at one point.
 * Attack of the Killer Whatever - The titular Lust Lizard (a.k.a. Steve). It's sort of a giant, deep-sea chameleon that feeds on clinically depressed people.
 * Butt Monkey - Theo. The, the entire town knows he's a pothead and so nobody takes him seriously, Steve tries to eat him, and even Molly initially thinks he's messed-up.
 * Captain Ersatz - H.P. is the owner of the local cafe and is clearly supposed to be H.P. Lovecraft (or an Affectionate Parody of him). He even names all the dishes at the cafe after monsters from the Cthulhu Mythos.
 * Cloudcuckoolander - Molly Michon, schizophrenic former B-movie actress and Pine Cove's resident crazy lady. Gabe the biologist also falls into this category, as he's extremely socially inept and focused almost completely on his work.
 * The Cuckoolander Was Right - Again, Molly, who's the only one who can communicate, more or less, with Steve. Of course nobody believes her at first when she says there's a man-eating sea monster roaming Pine Cove, but she didn't expect them to.
 * Dirty Cop - Sheriff Burton, who uses Theo's pot habit to blackmail him into becoming town constable and
 * Fantastic Comedy
 * Hearing Voices - Molly has one she calls the Narrator, who she argues with throughout the book.
 * I Need to Go Iron My Dog - Molly, while trying to distract town constable Theo so she can go save Steve, tells him she has broccoli in the dryer. Given that it's her, he doesn't find this unduly odd.
 * Local Hangout - The Head of the Slug saloon, Pine Cove's only bar, which does booming business when . Theo eventually just turns it into his base of operations, since half the fights in town start there anyway.
 * Nice Job Breaking It Hero: Val certainly means well when she ; unfortunately,
 * No Medication for Me - Molly first starts hearing the Narrator because she's gone off her meds.
 * The Slacker - Theo, which is directly related to his being:
 * The Stoner - Theo's pot addiction goes back a good twenty years.
 * There Are No Therapists - Subverted; there is a therapist, she just manages to screw up half the town
 * White Dwarf Starlet - Molly, sort of. She was never a huge star in America (her movies only released to theaters overseas), and while she's given up any hope of returning to film her whole trailer is filled with movie memorabilia, and she still has her old costumes and broadsword.