Surrounded by Idiots/Quotes

"Dark Helmet: How many assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow? (The entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand.) Entire Bridge Crew: Yo! Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! (Closes helmet) Keep firing, assholes!"

- Spaceballs

""He's as dumb as a bag of hammers, but he works cheap.""

- Dr. Insano about his new evil minion, Chester A. Bum.

""MORONS! I have MORONS on my payroll!""

- Cobra Commander, G.I. Joe

""I'm surrounded by defective circuitry...""

- Dr Ivo Robotnik, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

""Why are evil geniuses always surrounded by fools?""

- Digimon Emperor, Digimon Adventure 02

""I'm surrounded by idiots.""

- Scar, The Lion King

""Why don't I get any competent henchmen? I offer excellent health benefits, educational opportunities, even a direct share in the enterprise. I even have a Catch Phrase! How does he manage it with just inspirational speeches? Emotional logic is barely any logic at all...""

- Kaworu Nagisa, Shinji and Warhammer 40 K

""Why must I constantly be surrounded by frickin' idiots?""

- Doctor Evil, Austin Powers

""Like I said, I'll be famous one day, but for now, I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons.""

- Greg Heffley, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

""YOU'RE A STUPID INCOMPETENT! I WANT THAT DOCTOR!""

- Tobias Vaughn, The Invasion

""Must I be the meat in an imbecile sandwich?""

- Bud Bundy, Married... with Children

""I am surrounded by traitors, and FOOLS!!""

- Zoran Lazarevic, Uncharted 2

"Anakin: So, what are you up to?

Grievous: My armpits in incompetence!"

- Darths and Droids

""If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.""

- #88, Evil Overlord List

""Note to self: need to hire more henchmen. Good ones this time!""

- The Joker, Batman: Arkham Asylum

""Morons! I'm surrounded by morons!""

- Carface, All Dogs Go to Heaven

"Zeetha: She sounds like an idiot. Gil: Well, yes, but never a malicious one. Zeetha: Is that important? Gil: Heavens, yes! If I let everyone I thought was an idiot die, there wouldn't be many people left."

- Girl Genius

"Sador: What's WRONG is that I have an army full of GENETIC MISTAKES! Why can't my minions be sophisticated or intelligent, like... well, like ME? Yago: You can't expect all of us to measure up to you, Sir. Sador: Oh, don't flatter me!"

- Battle Beyond the Stars

""You are all INCOMPETENTS!""

- Osric, Dragonheart: A New Beginning

""I know it's obvious I'm a genius, but is everyone else this stupid?""

- Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

"Hedley: Now Repeat After Me: "I..."

Thugs: I...

Hedley: ...your name...

Thugs: Your name...

Hedley: (under his breath) Schmucks..."

- Blazing Saddles