Surf Ninjas



Johnny and Adam were perfectly ordinary brothers. Surfing afternoons and weekends, and attending school during the day. Then comes a mysterious stranger with an Eyepatch of Power and news of an unbelievable heritage. Adventure ensues as the brothers journey to obtain their birthright.

Surf Ninjas is a family film with martial arts starring Ernie Reyes Jr., Rob Schneider, Nicolas Cowan, and Leslie Nielsen. It's...not very good, though it's hard to say whether, like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, the So Bad It's Good-ness was on purpose.

"Iggy: "Knives? Oh yeah, seriously. That's something money can't buy. Knives. Once I went to a cutlery store and said 'Here's $100,000, can I buy a knife?' They said, 'NO. Money can't buy knives.' Gee, I guess that's why you hardly ever see any of 'em!" (Later) Iggy: "On the third day of the expedition they came across a giant rubber plant. Unfortunately, they could not cut it down, for as we know, money can't buy knives. Walking around the plant, they continued on the shores of Patusan." Zatch: "Is there no way we can shut this chattering monkey up?!" Spence: "You know, I'd cut him. But, I don't have a knife.""
 * Action Girl: Ro-May
 * Actually Pretty Funny: Apparently Lieutenant Spence's view of Iggy's rant about knives.
 * Big Bad: Colonel Chi
 * Binocular Shot: Spoofed with Zatch, who only has one eye
 * Cane Fu: Zatch, again.
 * Don't Explain the Joke: Iggy, particularly in the scene where Johnny's future bride is introduced, wearing a veil. Johnny and Adam both make snarky comments hinting about why she might be wearing a veil. Iggy says it flat out.
 * Dramatic Slip: Colonel Chi is knocked down and stepped on by an elephant, necessitating cybernetic replacements for much of his body. However, he has a good three seconds of hammily screaming to the camera during which he easily could have avoided the elephant's foot.
 * Eyepatch of Power: Zatch.
 * Grievous Harm with a Body: Threatened by an Irish "very distant" relative
 * To whit: Don't make me come down there and beat yew wi' tha leg o' mine tha' no longer works, cause AH'LL DO IT!
 * Hey, It's That Guy!: Kelly Hu
 * Highly-Visible Ninja: Most of Colonel Chi's forces, which elicits a sarcastic remark from Iggy.
 * Instant Expert: Seems to be one of Adam's powers.
 * Kiai: Everybody. Even the elephant.
 * Martial Arts Headband: Johnny, Adam, and Iggy all get one, though Iggy's receipt is played for laughs.
 * McNinja
 * Mighty Whitey: The vague concept is Played For Laughs with Iggy spending most of the movie thinking he's the heir to the throne of an island populated by Asian people... not his two orphaned Asian friends. He doesn't think this because of racial reasons, he's just dumb enough to misunderstand Zatch that badly when he explains things.
 * Power Overhaul: Both the brothers.
 * Product Placement: Adam uses a Game Gear to predict the future and control people.
 * The only videogame adaptation of this movie was, get this, for the Game Gear.
 * Rant-Inducing Slight: Iggy will put up with a lot, but apparently "It is something that money cannot buy... the Knives of Kwantsu." is one Ice Cream Koan too far.
 * Red Right Hand: Colonel Chi's mechanical arm.
 * Rule of Funny: In the restaurant fight, Adam is 'playing' the fight on his game gear, and selecting how things will go. When the time comes to choose weapons to fight off ninjas, he selects the funniest ones, and gets more points for it.
 * Shout-Out: Johnny, the first time he uses a blade, refers to Zorro.
 * So Nineties It Hurts
 * Surfer Dude: Both Johnny and Adam. Iggy pretends and it's played for laughs.
 * Suddenly Always Knew That/New Powers as the Plot Demands: Both the brothers, Johnny and Adam.
 * Tempting Fate: A stuntman assured Miss Hu that he could take her kicking him in the nuts. He couldn't.
 * Token Minority: Lieutenant Spence, played by Tone Loc.
 * Er... and the Asian lead characters are what...?
 * Two-Faced: Colonel Chi, his face was repaired with cybernetics, after it was partly crushed.
 * Unintentional Period Piece
 * Waif Prophet: Adam, without any of the negative aspects.
 * Weaksauce Weakness: Colonel Chi again, thanks to said cybernetics, can't touch water.
 * Xtreme Sport Xcuse Plot: