Don't Drink the Water

Don't Drink the Water is a comedy play written by Woody Allen. Written and set in The Sixties, the play revolves around the Cold War. In an unnamed European country behind the Iron Curtain, American Ambassador Magee must leave the Embassy for business. In his absence he places his incompetent son Axel in charge. Almost immediately the Embassy is thrust into a crisis as the Hollanders, an family of American tourists, come rushing in on the run from the Communist police. Walter, the father, had accidentally snuck into a high security area and taken pictures, causing the communist to believe the family are spies. Axel digs the hole deeper and the embassy is surrounded, leaving the Hollanders trapped.

The main characters are:
 * Axel Magee - An American foreign diplomat who only went into the business due to his father rather then his actual talent in art. He has a tendency to ramble, especially when nervous. He falls in love with Susan during the play.
 * Walter Hollander - A caterer from Newark, New Jersey. He is married to Marion and is the father of Susan and Seth. He causes his family to become trapped in the American embassy after he takes pictures of a high security area. He is very loud and abrasive but he can be kind when he wants to.
 * Marion Hollander - Walter's homemaker wife and the mother of Susan and Seth, she too is somewhat inappropriate but she's much kinder then Walter.
 * Susan Hollander - Walter and Marion's beautiful daughter who falls in love with Axel.
 * Father Drobney - A priest hiding out in the embassy for 6 years with a love of magic tricks. He is the narrator of the play.
 * Kilroy - Ambassador Magee's stuck-up assistant who is much more competent at his job then Axel.
 * Krojack - The head of the Communist police who traps the Hollanders in the embassy
 * Burns - An assisstant working at the embassy
 * Ambassador Magee - Axel's father who is the ambassador of the unnamed country and the head of the embassy
 * Chef - The embassy's chef, who consistently butts heads with Walter

Two film versions exist: one that came out in 1969 starring Jackie Gleason as Walter, and a TV movie in 1994 starring Allen as Walter, Julie Kavner as Marion, Michael J. Fox as Axel, Mayim Bialik as Susan, and Dom Deluise as Father Drobney.


 * Ambiguously Jewish: The Hollanders, Walter and Marion are almost stereotypical with their traits but Susan is barely noticeable.
 * Author Avatar: Both Walter and Axel have similarities to Woody Allen.
 * Aw, Look -- They Really Do Love Each Other: Walter and Marion have one of these moments in Act II after constant bickering.
 * Beta Couple: Walter and Marion to Axel and Susan
 * Black Sheep: Susan is a positive version of this trope as she is polite and friendly, as opposed to her rather rude and loud parents.
 * Cold War
 * Butt Monkey: Axel
 * Chew Toy: Kilroy, to the point that there is a Running Gag of him getting horribly injured.
 * Crosscast Role: In many amateur productions, several of the male characters are played by women. The most common are Kilroy, Burns and Krojack.
 * Happily Married: Walter and Marion,
 * Hawaiian-Shirted Tourist: Walter
 * He Who Must Not Be Seen: Walter and Marion's second child, Seth. Also, Susan's fiance Donald.
 * In the Jackie Gleason version both are seen in a pre -
 * Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Axel
 * Iron Curtain
 * Jerkass: Walter, who turns out to be a Jerk with a Heart of Gold
 * Jewish Mother: Marion
 * Large Ham: Walter. Marion is a unique kind of character who can either be a ham or a Deadpan Snarker.
 * Mistaken for Spies: Walter, Marion and Susan by Krojack. Basically the entire essence of the plot.
 * Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Susan
 * Motor Mouth: Axel
 * Odd Name Out: A small example, Walter is the only Hollander without a name of Hebrew origin.
 * Picky Eater: Walter, much to the Chef's exasperation.
 * Professional Butt-Kisser: Kilroy
 * Ruritania: The unnamed Communist country in which the embassy is situated.
 * Shallow Love Interest: Susan again
 * Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Susan and Axel.
 * The Baxter: Susan's fiance, Donald.
 * The Sixties
 * They Do:
 * The Ugly Guy's Hot Daughter: Walter and Susan.
 * "Well Done, Son" Guy: Axel
 * Woody Allen
 * World of Ham