And I'm the Queen of Sheba



A form of sarcastic rejoinder, responding to an improbable statement with another improbable statement.

"Bob: I'm actually the High King Bobertissimus in disguise!

Alice: Yeah, and I'm the Pope on a skiing holiday."

Popular forms include "I'm the Queen of Sheba" and "I'm a monkey's uncle".

Can lead to interesting results if Bob takes Alice at her word, which may be because he's constitutionally deaf to sarcasm, doesn't expect her to disbelieve him, or doesn't recognise the improbability of her statement. Or Bob may sarcastically reference Alice's statement when his improbable statement is proved true; see Cue the Flying Pigs.

See also Or My Name Isn't.

Film -- Live Action
""Yes, this is a castle. And we have many tapestries. But if you are a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse!""
 * In A View to A Kill, James Bond tells a police officer that he's a British agent only to be met with "Yeah, and I'm Dick Tracy" before being arrested.
 * Army of Darkness: "Maybe, just maybe, my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot."
 * Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade:

"[Frank Drebin is stopped at the entrance to the Oscars]
 * The Naked Gun 33⅓:

Frank Drebin: Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.

Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.

Frank Drebin: Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside."

"Bullwinkle: But she really is with the FBI.
 * Played with in the live-action Rocky and Bullwinkle movie.

Cop: Yeah, and I'm really John Goodman."

"William: I'm Ulrich von Leichtenstein, from Guilderland, and these are my faithful squires, Delves, of Dogington, and Falhurst, of Crew.
 * The catch here is that the cop actually is John Goodman.
 * In the Richard Attenborough film "Grey Owl," where Pierce Brosnan plays the title character, a minor character says "[Grey Owl's] name is Archie Belaney, and if he's a red Indian, I'm the king of China.".
 * A Knights Tale:

Chaucer: I'm Richard the Lionheart. Pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne. No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!"

"Clouseau: Hey, hey, hey! Wait a moment! Wait a moment! I am Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sûreté!
 * In Return of the Pink Panther, Inspector Clouseau's car and clothes are stolen by a transvestite thief, and he flags down a police car wearing the fur coat he was given. The officer gives him a ride to the nuthouse.

Officer: And I am officer Bardot.

Clouseau: Bardot?

Officer: But you can call me Brigitte!"

"Mark: Hi, how ya doin', I'm the Easter Bunny."
 * Appears in Field of Dreams, when Ray introduces his brother-in-law Mark to Terrence Mann:


 * The Bobo - Singer/matador Peter Sellers is posing as a representative to a rich count to fool Britt Ekland. They arrive at a posh resort where he introduces himself to the manager as "emmisary to His Excellency Martin Aragon Bocales de Villa Banal de Guilia de Comperes, the Count of Villa Banal." The manager breezily replies "And I am Louis XIV!" It's hard to tell if it's sarcasm, as he is dressed like the monarch.

Film -- Animated
"Benedict: (while being arrested) Get your hands off me, you filthy fiend! I'm the former Secretary of Education!
 * Recess Schools Out

Policeman: Yeah, yeah, and I'm the former princess of Morocco. Get in the car!"

Literature
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
 * Older Than Television example, courtesy of Dorothy Parker:

A medley of extemporanea,

And love is a thing that can never go wrong,

And I am Marie of Roumania."

""You're a Roman knight, are you? Well, my father was a king.""
 * Eleanor Arneson and Ruth Berman gave this line to a cop in "The Face on the Barroom Floor", a Star Trek fan novella in which Captain Kirk, after going incognito on shore leave, can't convince anyone of his real identity.
 * Older Than Feudalism example, courtesy of Petronius' The Satyricon when Ascyltus is laughing at Trimalchio's complete lack of book knowledge and horrific Latin puns, one of his (Trimalchio's) friends starts berating him. He bemoans that the world is too soft on men "these days" and notes he's wearing a gold ring (in those days only the Equestrian order got to wear gold):

""And maybe one of these days I'd go to an art museum and become well rounded."
 * In A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthurs Court the king and the protagonist (who has travelled back to the past, and became King Arthur's court wizard using Magic From Technology) are captured while travelling undercover, and are sold to a slave trader. When the king chooses to break his incognito, his claims of being King Arthur are met by the sarcastic response that in that case the slave next to him must be his famous court wizard.
 * The Dresden Files uses this a lot as part of his Private Eye Monologue:

"And maybe dragons would fly out my butt.""

"Achmed: And that man, I believe, is your king.
 * In Jingo, when 71-Hour Achmed sees Carrot.

Vimes: No.

Achmed: Really? Then I am Queen Punjitrum of Sumtri."

"Daphne: [The crew of the Judy] are here and armed, Mr Cox.
 * From Nation:

Cox: Are they indeed? Then I'm the queen of Sheba."

"She grinned. "And I'm the Empress of the Crab Nebula."
 * Tuf Voyaging by George RR Martin has two examples:
 * On Haviland Tuf's first visit to S'uthlam, his description of how he came into possession of his Cool Starship prompts this response from the Portmaster:

Tuf's face remained expressionless. "I fear I have been connected to the wrong person then. I wished to speak to the Portmaster of S'uthlam.""

""If you're Tuf, I'm Stephan Cobalt Northstar."
 * On his second visit:

"Stephan Cobalt Northstar has been dead for more than a millennium. Nevertheless, I am Haviland Tuf.""

""If you can't afford [an attorney], hell has frozen over and I'm the princess of Oz, but in that case, one will be appointed to you.""
 * In The Hollows novel For a Few Demons More, Rachel's Miranda Warning to Trent:


 * In the book Letters From Camp, the selfish family of former child stars running the summer camp have the Catch Phrase "We'd rather sing than fight, 'cause being polite is such a delight." One of the campers comments, "If they're polite, I'm Snow White."
 * In Charlie and The Great Glass Elevator, daring astronaut Commander Shanks receives a message. The man contacting him claims to be the president of the United States. "And this is the Wizard of Oz" responds Shanks.
 * In The Green Mile, when Wild Bill Wharton starts pitching a (fake) epileptic fit, Harry points it out, but Brutal just says, "Right, and my sister's the Whore of Babylon. She dances the hoochie-coochie in a long white veil."
 * In f&sf fandom you'll still hear "Oh yeah -- and I'm the Kumquat Haagen-Dasz!" from people who have no idea where it came from. It's from National Lampoon's Doon, their only novel other than Bored of the Rings.

Live-Action TV
"Liz: I had a vision - I'm a psychic.
 * In the first episode of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace:

Dagless: And I'm Bo Derek.

Liz: No you're not.

Dagless: You're right, I'm not. I guess I use sarcasm as a defense."

"Apollo: I am Apollo!
 * When Apollo introduces himself in the Star Trek the Original Series episode "Who Mourns For Adonais?":

Chekov: Yes, and I am tsar of all the Russias."

"Smith: (on the radio) "This is Nayland Smith broadcasting from the castle of Fu Manchu..."
 * In the MST3K Episode "The Castle of Fu Manchu" we get this:

Servo: (as the guy at the other end of the radio) "Oh, right, and this is Mickey Mouse broadcasting from Disneyland.""

"Spike: Oh please! If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock."
 * Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
 * One aspiring vampire smarms that when he kills Buffy, it'll be the greatest event since the Crucifixion. "And I should know. I was there." Behind him, Spike's famous voice cuts in:

"Angel: Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing."
 * In his first scene, Willy the Snitch demurs that he's staying away from that whole vampire scene and "living right." ("What's My Line, Pt.1")

""Rice": Tell me about your ship, Riker. It's the Enterprise, isn't it?
 * Willow trying to masquerade as her vampire counterpart. Anya smells a rat. "If she's a vampire, then I'm the Creature From the Black Lagoon."
 * In the Star Trek the Next Generation episode "The Arsenal of Freedom", Riker responds to a rather unconvincing holographic duplicate of the captain of the ship whose disappearance they came to investigate:

Riker: No... the name of my ship is the... Lollipop.

"Rice": I have no knowledge of that ship.

Riker: It's just been commissioned. It's a good ship."

"Gene: Was that the same day I became King of Egypt?"
 * Sam accidentally reminiscing about the day he made DCI (in the future) to the DCI, Gene Hunt. (Life On Mars)

"Ford: Hello, this is President Ford.
 * In The Suite Life of Zack and Cody a mall security guard refuses to believe that one of the twins' friends actually is a prince and says "And I'm the Queen of Sheeba". The prince, being incredibly naive, believes her and refers to her as "your majesty" for the rest of the episode. He even promotes her to his cabinet at the end.
 * The Mary Tyler Moore Show; in one episode when Mary Richards and Lou Grant were visiting Washington DC on a news story, Lou claimed that he was playing poker with several prominent statesmen, including then-President Ford. When the President calls to ask if he left his pipe behind, Mary is not convinced, thinking his impression stinks;

Mary: Yes, this is Mary--Queen of Scots."

Newspaper Comics
"Moominpappa: My good man, I am Horus. This is Isis, Osiris, and Ra.
 * The Moomins comic strip had several storylines in which the Moomins used a Time Machine to travel back in time (usually because Moominpappa longed for the glory and romance of the old days, only to find out that the old days weren't as glorious or romantic as he thought), and at one point the trope was played, word for word, when the family went back to Ancient Egypt. At their first stop, the Moomins are mistaken for gods because, in the words of the Egyptians, "who but a god would dare to take on the appearance of the holy white hippo?" However, when the family make a time-jump for a century or so and try their God Guise again, the new Egyptians just shake their heads:

Random Egyptian: Of course. And I'm the Queen of Sheba."

"Television showing Uncle Roy: Good morning, boys and girls. You are probably wondering where my dog, Bob, is this morning. Wellll... It seems old Bob bit Mr Blue Jeans the Mailman once too often... So Bob has decided to move to a local research facility to pursue a career as a laboratory animal.
 * From a Garfield comic

Garfield: And I'm Frank Sinatra."

"Garfield: I'm not getting older, I'm getting better. Every day in every way. And I'm gonna grow wings and I'm gonna fly, too."
 * A more recent one:

Theater
"Percy: Lud love me, such conjecturing could drive a man insane
 * From the musical version of The Scarlet Pimpernel:

And I'm the one to set this gossip quite to rest

The Pimpernel is me!

Marguerite: Indeed, and I'm the Queen of Spain!

Percy: She's disguised herself

But now she has at last confessed"

Video Games
"Carroll: Yes. Oh, a Grey Warden seal. Aha! So you're claiming to be one of those! You know I have some documents, too. They say I'm the Queen of Antiva."
 * In Dragon Age, a templar named Carroll guards the docks and only way to the Mage's Tower. Showing him the treaties will elicit this response from him:

"Bart: Krusty, listen carefully, aliens are handing out free laser guns and cola that makes you go crazy. It'll be a massacre, the streets will be littered with lasered-off limbs and heads.
 * Another Bio Ware example that acts as an inversion. In Knights of the Old Republic, your Player Character can tell several folks "And I'm Darth Revan." Most of them assume you're just invoking this trope and being sarcastic...
 * Mega Man Powered Up has "Mega Man?" requesting that Oil Man join up with Dr. Wily, Oil Man's response is "Ha Ha. Real Funny. If you're Mega Man, then I'm Dr. Light!"
 * In The Simpsons Hit and Run, this exchange is made between Bart and Krusty:

Krusty: Yeah right, and I'm getting into the Country Western Hall of Fame. It just ain't gonna happen, kid."


 * In Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker, after Naked Snake (while using a fake identity) asked if they were CODESA to Amanda, Amanda responded with "Yeah, and I'm Papa Noel."

Webcomics
"Kevyn: --that any illegitimate children will be apes, not monkeys. I checked."
 * Schlock Mercenary: Kevyn uses the "monkey's uncle" line at one point, leading Tagon to note that his (Kevyn's) sister did work with several (sapient) gorillas, and there was always a possibility--

Western Animation
"Static: Batman's not going to be happy about how you're treating his guests.
 * From the Static Shock / Batman Beyond crossover, "Future Shock", when Static meets the future Batman:

Terry: First off, we don't have guests here. Second off, I'm Batman.

Static: Yeah, and I'm Beyonce.

Bruce: *later walks in* What's going on here?

Terry: He says his name is Beyoncé."

"Sugar Jimmy: Most snack foods are manufactured by smoke-belching factories, but Sugar Jimmy Golden Gobble Blobble Bars are handmade by magical leprechauns as they dance on a beautiful rainbow.
 * In Aladdin, Jasmine steals a mirror in an attempt to show that she could make it as a "street rat" like Al. Iago mocks her by saying "If you're a street rat, then I'm a frilled lizard." Unfortunately, the mirror is magic, and turns both of them into a rat and a frilled lizard, respectively.
 * From the Sushi Pack episode "Sweet Tooth" during an airing of his show, Sugar Jimmy disputes claims that his snack bars lack nutritional value:

Maguro: Oh, yes. And chocolate is made by tiny gnomes inside of hollow rocks.

Tako: Gee, I didn't know that."

"Bart: He's just flamboyant.
 * Constantly used by Courage in Courage the Cowardly Dog, with Lampshading.
 * Once in The Smurfs, when Papa Smurf has switched bodies with Gargamel (long story), and the Smurfs have caught not-Gargamel, he reveals that he's really Papa Smurf. Cue one Smurf: "Yes, and I'm Smurfette."
 * Superman the Animated Series had Lois Lane pull one of these saying, "Yeah, and I'm Wonder Woman." (Which is interesting, because Wonder Woman was first introduced into The DCAU, as a recent arrival, years later.)
 * In The Simpsons referring to Andy Dick using drugs:

Homer: Yeah, and I'm a size four."

"Nun: I'm married to Jesus!
 * From the episode "Gone Maggie Gone" when asking about a nun's non-existing husband.

Homer: (scoffs) Yeah, right. And I'm married to Wonder Woman!"

"Johnny: Come on, everybody, Plank says he heard something over here.
 * In the Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "The Day the Ed Stood Still":

Kevin: Yeah, right, and I'm the king of Siam.

Rolf: And Rolf is the head of cabbage!"

"Eddy: (answering the phone) It's probably Nazz.
 * Also from "Sorry Wrong Ed":

Edd: And I'm Theodor Geisel."

"Dr. Strange: I was set up! Bruce Wayne is Batman!
 * Batman the Animated Series: Hugo Strange attempts to auction off Batman's Secret Identity to some of his rogues. When the deal goes south, Strange begs for his life with it (and Harvey unintentionally defends Bruce):

Two-Face: That's absurd. I know Bruce Wayne. If he's Batman, I'm the king of England."

"Flash: Me? The Flash? You've like, totally lost it, Grodd! I'm Lex Luthor!
 * In the Justice League Unlimited episode "The Great Brain Robbery", the Flash and Lex Luthor switch minds after a botched mind-scanning attempt on both the Leaguers' and the Legion of Doom's sides. When Flash, in Lex Luthor's body, goes to see Grodd, he quickly sees it through:

Grodd: And I'm Charlton Heston."

"Spot: Hey, guys, guess what? I'm a dog!
 * Used in 101 Dalmatians: The Series when Spot the chicken becomes a dog

Rolly: Yeah, so?

Spot: No, you guys, it's me, Spot!

Lucky: Yeah, right. And I'm Thunderbolt."

"Pac-Man: I'm not Pretty-Boy Pac! I'm Pac-Man!
 * Pac-Man: After Pac-Man is falsely arrested for bank robbery in "Public Pac-Enemy No. 1" (paraphrasing):

Police Officer: Sure, and I'm Thomas Jefferpac.

Pac-Man: No, you're not!"

"Aang: This is Appa, my flying bison.
 * In the first episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, introducing Appa:

Sokka: Right. And this is Katara, my flying sister."

"Cow: Well! If it isn't the famous Bat-Bat!
 * Used in the weather episode of The Magic School Bus. If Ralphie's Weatherman, then Keesha's the Queen of England.
 * Zig-zag: The finale to Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse reboot, "Mighty's Tone Poem," featured a clip from season 1 and edited frames from that clip. It was from "Night Of The Bat-Bat" where Bat-Bat confronts the Cow:

Bat-Bat: Yes, and if it isn't the famous Cow!

Cow: I see you brought the famous Bug Wonder with you.

Bat-Bat: Yes, and I see you brought the famous Merv Griffin! (cut to a cartoon Merv Griffin at a desk waving)"


 * The Real Ghostbusters: The ghostbusters traveled to Scotland once when Ray inherited the title of Duke of Dunkirk. When he attempted to rally some of the locals to help fight an army of Highlander ghosts, Ray introduced himself as the Duke of Dunkirk. One local answered, "Sure, and I'm Dick Whittington's Cat!"
 * On Gargoyles, when King Arthur told Griff who he was, Griff responded with "And I'm the Queen Mum!"

Real Life

 * A common saying in Real Life Germany: "And I'm the Chinese emperor."
 * Or the even more popular "Und ich bin Graf Koks von der Gasanstalt", which roughly means "And I'm Earl Dandy of the Gasworks". In other words, a common working grunt.
 * Other candidates for the trope name: And I'm the Queen of England, the Pope, the Easter Bunny, etc. etc. etc...take your pick.
 * And in Israel you say, "And I'm the Wizard of Oz"!