The Joker



""The Joker is the kind of guy who will come up with a plan to kidnap a scientist and have them create a super-pheromone that will attract little old ladies to a warehouse so Joker can feed them into a woodchipper and use the resulting paste to make counterfeit money so he can buy fuel for his ice rocket that will freeze the entire city which will cause everyone to flock to his beverage vendors who will sell them hot chocolate laced with a mutagen designed to drive everyone insane.""

- Shamus Young, Stolen Pixels (who put it quite well, if I do say so myself...)

Well! Finally got my own page, did I? 'bout time! I was created in the forties, for Pete's sake! I've been around way longer than Superham's cousin! Why'd she get her own page first?! Well, it's not too bad, I guess... at least I can still gloat to Lexy about getting my own page first... As for that guy with the yellow ring...? He only wishes he was half as scary as me!

Oh, you were looking for information on moi? I'm flattered, really, but, uh... SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM ALREADY?! All right, all right, fine. Here's My Card (from the bottom of the deck of course) and the lowdown...

I am the Monster Clown hiding under your bed!

Of course, a true fan would want all the gory details fleshed out, yes? So then. There's me, and there's the Bat, two peas in a pod. I'm the better-looking pea, of course, but that's beside the point. Billy Finger and Bobby Kane, inspired by both the playing card and Conrad Veidt's deliciously chilling title character in the 1920s film The Man Who Laughs, conjured me up in good ol' 1940, back when heroes were allowed to kill, everyone Asian spoke with their R's and L's mixed up, and the art was worse than something drawn by a six-year old with crayons ('course, Jerry Robinson said he had a hand too, but that's not my department)... I gave that flying rodent a good runaround in Batman #1 (I was modest enough to give him the title...), and soon enough, I began carving out my own little niche.

But, as it turned out, that wasn't enough! No, they planned to whack me in my second appearance! Can you believe that?! But, someone (in this case, Whitney Ellsworth) came through for me, and I lived through a self-inflicted stabbing after all. So, instead of dying painfully, I only had to endure six months of agonizing hospital time! Those were the glory days... I'd show up, make a bit of trouble, kill a couple people, get foiled by Fatman, and escape at the last minute. Gambling rackets, sniping FBI agents, I've seen (and done) it all. I was even executed once, y'know. 'course, The Grim Reaper couldn't hold me, and I came back... just in time to witness the rising of the Comics Code. (Hoo... and some people thought I was evil and insane... heh heh heh...)

Maybe I should've stayed buried a bit longer, cuz, you all know what happened next. Batman and that brat Robin were joined by Batwoman, Bat-Girl, Bat-Hound, Bat-Mite (yeesh, what's next? Bat-butler?), and no one was allowed to kill ever again. And we all lived happily ever after... NOT! Then again, I can't say that it was ever boring. I was allowed to play with bigger toys -- everything from my own utility belt to giant record players (where the heck does Gotham get all that stuff, anyhow?). I even managed to get all of Gotham City to marvel at my enormous BONER!

But nothing lasts forever, does it? (Save the memory of Tom and Jerry.)

Come The Bronze Age of Comic Books, I was finally allowed to roam free again, and what a joy it was! Blowing off people's heads with exploding cigars and feeding them to sharks! It seems that finally, the heads at DC Comics got brains - it was here that I got my own series! And it lasted all of... nine issues... And I had to lose every time.

*COUGH*

Ah, well, who cares about all that? The Seventies might have returned me to life, but it was The Eighties that were really my heyday. You might recall an obscure little book called The Killing Joke written by some nobody called Alan Moore. If you haven't... GET OVER THERE AND READ IT, AND DON'T CALL YOURSELF A FAN OF MINE UNTIL YOU'VE MEMORIZED EVERY WORD!

Done? Good. Less than a year afterward, DC made the historical decision of killing off Robin -- 'bout time, too. But just a little heads-up, it was Jason Todd, not Dick Grayson. Who was Jason Todd? Who cares? All you need to know is that every reader hated his guts, enough that they voted to have him die. But with an outfit like that, can you really blame them? Heck, at least thirteen of those votes came from yours truly!

Anyhoo, the poll was set up, the calls were made, and I gave poor li'l Jason a spanking he'll never forget. Rest in pieces. Then I got shot. And got trapped on an exploding helicopter. And vanished for all of a few months. And I still made it back in time for the holidays. From there on, my life's been just one giant rollercoaster ride (occasionally of the Hawaiian variety, but usually not). 'specially since I killed Jimmy Gordon's wife during that earthquake.

Hold on, where're you going? D'ya think we're done with my life? Not even close! I've poisoned all the fish on the eastern and western seaboard and tried to patent them! I've become God and brought the whole universe to its knees! I've killed Siskel and Ebert, fer cripes sake!

But no, you don't care about any of that, do you? I bet you came to this page because you were so impressed by that pencil trick. No? The dreadlocked monkey-man in a straitjacket with that sexy, sexy laugh, then? Perhaps you remember the days when I faced off with Adam West? The pointy-chinned me voiced by Mark Hamill? The meaty ol' me played by Jack Nicholson? The Silver Age-esque me? Or was it the version of me that That one voiced by some Bender...'s actor? The one with all those kid superheroes, where I was voiced by Data? Or how about those times where I was a woman?

'Course, any version of me is good as long as you don't think I'm that other psychotic, fourth-wall breaking clown who works for those Marvel guys. I'm not really fond of Mr. Wilson, but I do love friending him on that Facebook thingy and asking him to "do that pencil trick". It just gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Well, that conversation was certainly uplifting, wouldn't you say? Look at how widely you're grinning. Ooh, and check it out! Your complexion is clearing right up. And that hair...! So rich a shade of green that only your undertaker'll know for sure. And that laugh! Isn't it beautiful? Not too shabby a rhythm for a white guy!

Ohhhh, don't give me that look. You were the one that took that card from me! Sheesh, how dumb can ya get? Straighten up. It's not the end of the world. Only yours. Annnd... there you go, now you see the joke. The very biggest and bestest smile of them all.

The ol' Classic Funny Books

 * Batman
 * Detective Comics
 * The Batman
 * The Batman Adventures/Gotham Adventures
 * Joker's Asylum
 * The Joker: Devil's Advocate
 * Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
 * Villains United
 * Infinite Crisis
 * Underworld Unleashed
 * Tangent Comics
 * Planetary/Batman
 * Batman: Digital Justice (well, after a fashion...)
 * All Star Batman and Robin
 * The Joker (series)
 * Joker (graphic novel)
 * The Dark Knight Returns
 * Batman: Nosferatu
 * Batman: Bloodstorm
 * Batman: I, Joker
 * A Death in the Family
 * Going Sane
 * The Killing Joke
 * Mad Love
 * No Man's Land
 * Last Laugh
 * Emperor Joker
 * Salvation Run
 * Last Rites
 * Batman R.I.P.
 * Final Crisis
 * Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?
 * Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth
 * Arkham Asylum: Living Hell
 * Arkham Asylum: Madness
 * Batman and Robin
 * Birds of Prey
 * Superman: Distant Fires
 * Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight
 * Flashpoint

The Big Silver Screen

 * Batman: The Movie
 * Batman
 * The Dark Knight

Live on the tube

 * Batman (live-action series)
 * Birds of Prey

Up on that new-fangled... what do ya call it? "Internet"?

 * The Joker Blogs

Animated as much as I am!

 * Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder
 * The New Scooby Doo Movies
 * The New Adventures of Batman
 * The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians
 * Batman the Animated Series
 * Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
 * The New Batman Adventures
 * Justice League
 * Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
 * The Batman
 * Krypto the Superdog
 * Batman: The Brave And The Bold
 * Justice League Crisis On Two Earths
 * Batman: Under the Red Hood
 * DC Super Friends
 * Young Justice

The big stage!

 * Batman Live
 * Batman the Musical

Those Video Games that all the kids these days are playin'

 * Batman: Vengeance
 * Lego Batman
 * Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
 * Batman: Arkham Asylum
 * Batman: Arkham City
 * DC Universe Online

My handsome face is the current page image for:

 * Antagonist in Mourning
 * Arch Enemy
 * Batman Gambit
 * Chaotic Evil
 * Don't Explain the Joke
 * Even Evil Has Standards
 * For the Evulz
 * Ignore the Fanservice
 * Joker Immunity
 * Joker Jury
 * Laughably Evil
 * Laughing Mad
 * Mad Love
 * DCAU
 * Rage Against the Reflection
 * Refuge in Audacity
 * Tongue Trauma
 * Unhand Them, Villain!
 * Villainous Cheekbones
 * Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him

"Batsy: Filthy degenerate! Me: Flattery will get you nowhere."
 * Academy Award: You're looking at the only super villain (and only comic book character in general) ever to snag that little golden fella, thanks to good ol' Heathy. Too bad I can't appear in any sequels...
 * Acquired Poison Immunity: Seems I've developed an immunity to the stuff due to all my... recreational use.
 * Actor Allusion: I pay homage from time to time. May the floss be with you!
 * A God Am I: There have been a few occasions where I became an omnipowerful force to be reckoned with, most recently in the Batman the Brave And The Bold's version of Emperor Joker. You boys shoulda seen the original... I managed to break the Bat's spirit, and reduce his soul to mere confetti scraps! How he managed to get better is still the most fascinating mystery...
 * All Abusers Are Male: Ha, Gotham's ladies have plenty of fight in them. Let me tell you, Harley has a mean right...
 * Always a Bigger Fish: The Creeper. Never get me near that guy! He's a lunatic! Dumber than a coffin nail but a lunatic nonetheless!
 * And considering who's telling you this, that's really saying something.
 * Amusement Park of Doom: I do love my fun after all. My hideout in that one movie was an amusement park with the only way to get to my house being a roller coaster ride. Hell, with a little ingenuity and some time and henchmen to kill, anything with a set of rails, like a steel mill, makes a damn fine rollercoaster. Don't tell me you never wanted to ride one surrounded by molten hot iron!
 * Arch Enemy: Batsy and me provide the page picture for a reason, ya know!
 * Applied Phlebotinum: My Surfing Experience & Ability Transferometer & Vigor Reverser. Made me great at catching waves, but Batty Belfry, Robbie the Birdbrain, and Bat-Bitch didn't like it. What did they find so cool about Skippy-boy that I didn't have, anyway?
 * Ascended Fanboy: Wouldja believe I am one? Weeper is such a hoot! Especially when trying to kill me!
 * Asexuality: Anyone who thinks Sex is so great should try Murder.
 * Attention Whore: Oy, why should I be working myself to death with no one to appreciate it?
 * Ax Crazy: Why limit myself? Still, always was good with an axe....
 * Back From the Dead: Even if you actually manage to see me die!
 * Badass Bookworm: Gotta keep my brain as sharp as my knives! Ayn Rand helps me with that.
 * Badass in Distress: Would you believe I once rescued the old bat? But hey, what fun would it be without him around?
 * Badass in a Nice Suit: As that doll Harley will tell you, it's not a killer smile unless you've got a suit to match, even if you're a charmer like me!!
 * Badass Longcoat: A little style never hurt anyone.
 * Badass Normal: Though some would argue that I'm anything but normal. Still, the fact that folk who go toe-to-toe with ol' Supes are scared of me? That's gotta be worth something.
 * Hell, I've got one of the highest bodycounts in the entire DCU, far outdoing almost any superpowered freaks out there, and generally only outdone by those who the power to destroy entire worlds.
 * Bad Boss: Good help is sooo hard to find these days...
 * Bad Guys Do the Dirty Work: In one episode of The Batman, I actually saved Batsy's secret identity by taking care of Wrath and Scorn before they could spill the beans. What can I say? I didn't want anyone else being the Bat's end.
 * Banana Peel: Just stop on by Dr. Hurt's place. He'll tell you.
 * Bandaged Face: Frequent in the origin. Honestly, it'll scar you for life...
 * "BANG!" Flag Gun: Gotcha! Ah, that one never gets old... though there was that one time it wasn't funny at all.
 * Batman Gambit: Ugh, couldn't they give this one a different name? Still, I've been known to pull off some tricks that put even ol' Batsy himself to shame.
 * Berserk Button: Don't you dare laugh at me! I encourage you to laugh with me, never at me.
 * And I can make you laugh. I'm the Clown Prince of Gotham! A comic genius! And if you doubt it... I'll PROVE it to you.
 * Beware the Silly Ones: Especially if the silly one in question happens to be me. You try to cross me, and, well... let's just say my joy buzzer is gonna set off the sprinklers.
 * Big Bad: Usually in those adaptations, but not so much in the comics. After all, why let others have all the fun?
 * Black Comedy: I like my comedy like I like my coffee; surrounded by corpses.
 * Bloody Murder: According to good ol' Grant, I've spent so much time taking my own baaaaaaad drugs that my blood itself is a lethal venom! As sweet little Damian found out when he tried to get some payback. You see, kiddies, violent revenge just makes things worse, even if it feels good at the time.
 * Body Snatcher: Yes. I've even managed to pull this off in my comeback appearance in Batman Beyond. I lost my old body thanks to . Fortunately, I had ensured my immortality long before this inconvenience thanks to
 * Bomb Throwing Anarchist: Oh come on, you can't tell me you're not amused by the odd explosion or two.
 * Bowdlerise: Can you believe they wouldn't let me shoot those karate guys in the face? Well, not on screen anyway...
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: If you're only just figuring it out... well, let's just say you're no Batman.
 * Breakout Villain: Some meddling by the aforementioned Whitney Ellsworth, way back in 1940, spurred me on my meteoric rise to fame from a two-shot villain to the Big Bad you know and fear with every fiber of your being today. Hey, the fella knew a good idea when he saw it - this was the genius behind Superpup!
 * Break the Badass: My actions have done this to toughest of heroes. And of course, if the chips are down low enough and even I stop laughing... It's a sign we're all in trouble...
 * YIPPIEE!!!
 * Bright Is Not Good: What can I say, I'm one of the most colorful characters in all of comics. But I'll kill you and your whole family for fun without a second thought.
 * Calling Card: Take a wild guess.
 * Canon Immigrant: Ol' Timmy decided to call me Jack Napier in Batman, so naturally Dini and Timm stol- borrowed this for my animated self. There used to be a tiny bit of sanity within the realms of my mind by that name, too...I do miss that chap... That guy who's as weird as me didn't use it for my greatest appearance ever, but I gave him a break. Why? Because he's Alan Moore, that's why! Even I have the good sense not to cross him.
 * Can't Unhear It: You've been reading this page in Mark Hamill's Joker voice, haven't you?
 * Cardboard Prison: Arkham's a great place to kick back and relax for a while, and it's never too hard to get out and about when I feel like a stroll through the guts of Gotham's gentry. Then again, that time I took over the place, that was glorious.
 * Car Fu: Once ran over a woman while reporting it to the police with a tied up Robin in the car. Did I mention this was Christmas time!
 * Card-Carrying Villain: Is it so wrong that I take pride in making a good joke?
 * Catch Phrase: While I'm certainly not cliché enough to use the same material again and again, it seems that classic line from Heathy has become my unofficial motto: "Why so serious?" Hey, if it sticks, it sticks! (Just so long as I get a cut of all that glorious T-shirt revenue...)
 * Characterization Marches On: In my first appearances, the only real quirk I had was an association with a certain playing card -- I was just a straight-forward, humorless murderer and thief who merely grinned a lot, rather than the comedy-obsessed and always laughing maniac you all know and love today! And I gotta say, boy howdy have I come a long way!
 * The Chessmaster: To the point that you'd think I'd move onto checkers already.
 * Civilian Villain: Every once in a blue moon, usually when the Bat manages to get himself killed, something inside me snaps and I won't be my usual, cheerful self. I might even pass off as being, gasp, almost sane! How lucky for me that Batsy never stays down for very long.
 * Cold-Blooded Torture: I'm very well known for doing this. There have been a few occasions where I actually create a new villain this way.
 * Combat Pragmatist: A few notable examples include beating unarmed enemies with a crowbar, setting hungry dogs on them, spraying various unhealthy substances in their faces, trying to kick the Dork Knight in the ribs with a knife that came out of my shoe -- and who could forget the time when I
 * Though I tried to get Batboy a chance there, but he refused.
 * Comedic Sociopathy: You know you love it...
 * Complete Monster: I've been called this, but really, I think that means I'm the most advanced human being alive!
 * Complexity Addiction: It's just so much more fun than just shooting him!
 * Cool Pets: Have you met my hyenas Bud and Lou?
 * The Corrupter: Because madness is like gravity, and as you know, all it takes is a little push.
 * Crazy Prepared: You think old Bats always has a contingency plan for each and every occasion? Trust me, I got him beat in that little competition.
 * Create Your Own Villain: In a few incarnations, old Batsy had a hand in my origin. Makes it more delicious wouldn't you say? Sometimes I subvert the trope myself by being the one that made poor little Bruce an orphan, such as in my first movie appearance. Heck, I even lampshaded it!
 * I suppose I was also responsible for the birth of the Phantasm and the deaths of my old mob gang.
 * Dartboard of Hate: That poster of Bats was really too good for me -- the animated me -- to resist! And I was pretty upset in that series...
 * Dead Baby Comedy: I almost did this with some little tykes after the earthquake, but decided against it.
 * : If I weren't playing pest control, Gotham would have more bats than people. And it's my favorite job.
 * Dead Line News: How ol'Jacky Boy's version of me likes to advertise mouthwash that'll give you "hair color so natural, only your undertaker will know for sure!!"
 * Breaking news, this just grin! Deadly clouds of Joker Toxin spread across six continents! Billions die in horrendous agony! Wife's guts, wife's guts, wife's guts, WIFE'S GUTS!!!....and now, here's Chuck with the weather. How's it look out there, Chuck?
 * Deadpan Snarker: Maybe, maybe not. You know what I mean? It-it's almost like there are dark forces conspiring against me, twisting me like a puppet on a string... Naaaah!
 * Deal with the Devil: Ah, the nineties. While other villain-y sorts wasted their souls on dumb stuff like arcane power or craploads of green, I put what little I had to good use: Oh, ya shoulda seen ol' Neron's face.
 * Death Is Cheap: So cheap that I'm fairly sure it's on sale whenever I come around.
 * Delicious Fruit Pies: Sure, I may be crazy for not loving the great taste of a Hostess fruit pie, but I'm not that crazy all of the time.
 * Depending on the Artist: Some artists, like Neal Adams and Jim Aparo, give me a long pointed chin, while others, such as Marshall Rogers, gave me a square one. I'm sometimes lean and mean, while other times I'm of average build. Some depict my lovely smile as being stuck on my face, while others have me capable of showing... other emotions. Gotta admit, having the grin cut into my mouth so I can make two expressions at once, that worked out decently enough.
 * Depending on the Writer: So tell me. Am I a harmless prankster, a homicidal maniac, a hostage to momentary whims, or a chessmaster capable of constructing elaborate plans? All these and more, at various times. (The current official theory is that I'm so mentally unstable my brain turns right over every now and again, and I become insane in a whole new way. That Grant Morrison, what a kidder.)
 * Diabolical Mastermind: No joke. Just because I'm kooky doesn't mean I'm not a genius.
 * Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: I don't know how Lex has such a hard time with Superman when he has so much more money and kryptonite than me. But you don't need much of the latter to put Supes in his place, right Batman?
 * Disproportionate Retribution: People keep saying I go into this, but I don't know why. A henchman who refuses to fork over the money he owes me when he loses a twenty-dollar bet on the World Series should be clubbed to death with a bunch of bananas (Note to self: takes too long. Use plantains instead). Anyone who would dare deny me first prize in a comedy competition just because I never actually entered it deserve to be mind controlled into becoming D-List criminals. And all those people who claimed that I couldn't legally trademark the fish that I arranged to grin like me seriously had it coming. Honestly, what's so disproportionate about all that?
 * Dissonant Laughter: It's only dissonant if you don't get the joke.
 * Does Not Like Shoes: My costume in The Batman? A straitjacket and bare feet. Hey, it was a legitimate fashion choice!
 * Do Not Taunt Cthulhu: Imagine how boring a battle with Superman would be if I didn't let him know I kidnapped that Lois woman.
 * Don't Explain the Joke: If you have to explain a joke, there is no joke! I can't even tell you how many times I've had to explain that to dear Harley....
 * The Dreaded: Like good old Batboy, I even scare the pants off of those who are far more powerful than myself. Some at the beginning believe me to be beneath their notice, but they soon learn.
 * Drop the Hammer: I'm no thunder god but someone taught Harley how to swing a hammer!
 * Dystopia Justifies the Means: A world without rules, baby!
 * Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: "Vertette", actually. Ooh la la!
 * Electric Joy Buzzer: It sure left a shocking impression on Antoine. But remember kids, always exercise caution when using these things, or you might, oh I don't know -- fall into a waterfall and electrocute yourself to death, say? But that'd just be crazy.
 * Electric Torture: Making people glow like Christmas trees is a wonderful use of electricity. Ain't that right, Bats?
 * Enemy Mine: I'm as shocked as you are! When my newest animated incarnation made his first appearance, he actually joined forces with Batsy in order to take down Owlman, mainly because he just wasn't as much fun. In the end, he made a smart move and joined forces with the alternate double, but not before telling Bats that he tried to be good. That better not be signs of me decaying, otherwise I might need to have a little chitchat with those writers...
 * Oh, I should have trusted the writers more. I got to kill the Bat nine times! On a show for children!
 * Even Evil Has Standards: I may be a criminal lunatic, but I'm an AMERICAN criminal lunatic! When I found out that Red Skull fellow was a Nazi, I turned on him, right then and there. And don't talk about that selling-nukes-to-Arabs thing. Fanon Discontinuity, plain and simple, got it?!
 * Funny thing -- to other villains, I'm below their standards. Well, phooey! I didn't want their help, anyway...
 * For reasons of good taste, Joel Schumacher wasn't invited to my House Party at Arkham Asylum.
 * Oh yes, and there was that one time I met that Warren White guy in the showers, pointing out that while I kill people, I don't steal their kids' college funds.
 * And don't even get me started on that lunatic of a "hero" who keeps ripping off my style! That guy makes ME look sane!
 * Everything's Better with Bob: Bob...was my number one...guy! It's too bad
 * Everything's Better with Penguins: Are you crazy? That birdbrain's not too bright. I only team up with him when the plan requires it.
 * On the other hand, I gotta say, he's got a hell of a nightclub. And I'm not above just chilling with him and ol' Eddie Nygma.
 * Everythings Cuter With Kittens: How should I know? I don't remember Catwoman ever reproducing.
 * Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Averted! I can damn well understand the good guys if I please. Even been one just a couple of times. It's just that it's out-of-your-skull boring.
 * Though, for the life of me, I can't understand why Batsy doesn't get the joke...
 * Evil Feels Good: Does it ever!
 * Eviler Than Thou: Carnage? Puh-leeze! The guy is an uninventive, style-less dunderhead! Like I told him that one time we met, "Any idiot, nothing personal of course, can go out and slaughter a few thousand people, but where's the laughter and tears? The handstands and histronics? In short, my dense and sanguine pal... where's the theater?"
 * Evil Eyebrows: They're marvelous, aren't they!?
 * Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: Aw, come on! I've got a great sense of humor! It's not my fault if not everyone can appreciate it!
 * Evil Is Hammy: Well, where's the fun in having inhibitions?
 * Evil Is One Big Happy Family: It certainly is. We got even happier when we decided to have a kid.
 * Evil Is Petty: Petty? You snot-nosed little punk, I'll KILL ya for that one! Oh, I kid. Still, that "report card incident" has gotten a lot more mileage than I expected....
 * Evil Laugh: But of course!
 * Evil Twin: Word is there're some worlds out there where my counterparts are on the good guys' side. Is that messed-up or what?!
 * Evil Versus Evil: I tussle with the competiton all the time! The penultimate issue of my own magazine pit yours truly against ol' Jonathan Crane, for example. The bet, entitled "The Scarecrow's Fearsome Face-Off", is which of our fearsome weapons is the best, and my laughing gas won out. Ha, that'll teach him.
 * Explosive Cigar: Who says cartoons should have this little gadget all to themselves? 'Course, mine are filled with naughtier stuff... Happy birthday, anyone?
 * Eye Scream: The magic trick of making a pencil disappear into a crony's skull, that was all. Care to see for yourself, Pearl?
 * Face Palm: Batman has probably dodged thousands of bullets fired by my Mooks over the years. My reaction is usually something like this.
 * Fan Disservice: If you've got the pasty white gams (and other things) needed to rock a pair of scale panties, I say flaunt 'em.
 * Faux Affably Evil: Ol' Lexie said it best: "Frighteningly sick in the head, but strangely compelling company."
 * Filk Song: Of course I have one!
 * Flying Saucer: The Sixties were a strange decade, boys and girls. Of course, with today's gas prices, I might as well walk to Mars...
 * For the Evulz: What better reason could there possibly be?
 * Fountain of Expies: Believe it or don't, I'm a pretty popular guy! So popular, in fact, that all kinds of copycats and wannabes have started crawling out of the woodwork...
 * Kefka Palazzo. Blowing up the world? Not too shabby, kid... but what are ya gonna do for an encore?
 * Onimi, Expy of the Expy? He really aims high -- destroying the galaxy is no minor goal -- but really. The clown persona as a mere cover?
 * Still and all, three hundred sixty-five trillion jokes on a galaxy--even with so many inhabited worlds--is nothing to sneeze at.
 * Dimentio? That copycat of me wants to remake the multiverse due to his insanity?! Admittedly, that actually would earn some bonus points, but then again, he ended up taking the other expy of mine's route when defeated, which is destroying it and sacrificing an encore...
 * Hazama/Yuuki Terumi. Well, he usually doesn’t look too overtly clowny, but sometimes he feels like wearing something stylish... and don't get me started on his behaviour, hoo boy... And he actually quotes ME! It's... it's all too much... I've got something in my eye…
 * The Painted Doll. Now there's a fella who's makin' the whole PR machine dealie work for him!
 * 'Eck, kiddies! I even heard of these two freaks who blatantly copied my name! They're good... not that will save 'em from a little personal visit. (I think that maybe I'll bring the cheese grater along this time!)
 * Those Marvel guys had the cojones to come out with an idea that's too twisted even for me! I mean, blending me with ol' Battyman? Seriously? The truly scary thing is, it works!
 * Ah, and let's not forget good old Kletus Casady. Personally, red's not my color, but if you're a giant alien oil slick, who's going to tell you different?
 * Alan Gabriel. Now, I can easily ignore the little clockwork fiddlybobs inside him... and a big old drill hand must come in handy for exploding dragons... but Unacceptable.
 * Dhoulmagus? Sure, the guy has an alright sense of humor, but... Oh, who am I kidding? It's the whacko stuck in his staff I ought to be applauding, if he was even worthy of applause to begin with!
 * Aaaaah, I guess it could be worse. I mean, I could be stuck in a cave all day with a couple of whiny acro-brats nipping at my heels... oh, right. Hee hee!
 * Fourth Wall Observer: Don't mind if I whistle my own theme tune. Or glance at the camera in all too many stories. Or chat about the editors. Or write my own article right here, right now.
 * Freak Lab Accident: Classic Origin, of course. You'd be surprised how taking a bath in a vat of chemicals can really bring out the worst in you!
 * Friend to All Children: Just look at their joyous expressions!
 * Funny Animal: My Earth C-Minus counterpart, the Porker, has constantly fought Batsy's counterpart Batmouse.
 * Fun with Palindromes: I once suggested going through Gotham's phone book and killing everyone whose name was a palindrome. It's as good a reason as any!
 * Genre Savvy: I've been known to be this from time to time. Sometimes it even gets a little dangerous.
 * The Gimmick: Compare Silver Age me with The Dark Knight me, and you'll see how far I can go while still staying in the same gimmick.
 * Glasgow Grin: Sometimes I opt to carve my trademark cheerful smile right into my face! Assuming, that is, it wasn't done for me; I can't quite remember anymore.
 * Go-Karting with Bowser: What, you don't like surfing?
 * Gonk: Why, whatever are you talking about, kiddies? Sure, your ol' Uncle J. might be a little... spooky-lookin', but can't he be considered handsome in a sort of unconventional way?... ALRIGHT, FINE! YOU WIN! HAPPY? Admittedly, my looks do tend to vary somewhat, but you know what? At least I'm still more handsome-y than Bat-Brain! (Now, if I could just get my mitts on Sam Kieth...)
 * Good Scars, Evil Scars: Wanna know how I got them?
 * Go Out with a Smile: Hey, if ya gotta go, you might as well be happy! Here, have a whiff of my flower, you'll know what I'm talking about!
 * Groin Attack: It may not be as fatal as a stab or gunshot, but it works, doesn't it? Even Aquaman knows I can deliver a good kick to the valuables when given the chance.
 * Hannibal Lecture: They named this gag after Hannibal?! I appreciate a good bit of wordplay as much as the next homicidal maniac, but the old purple people eater has nothing on me! I don't recall Clarice Starling ever dressing up like a clown and busting him out of jail (which would make him the lucky one...).
 * Remember that one bit in The Dark Knight? With Harvey Dent and that saucy little nurse's uniform? That was a good one.
 * And no, of course I wasn't afraid he'd pull the trigger. I'm crazy, remember?
 * I found myself on the receiving end of one from Bat-Fake that made me lose my cool. Called me unfunny. Who did that impudent brat think he was talking to?
 * Happy Dance: What, ya don't like Prince? That man has a great taste in purple.
 * Hates Being Touched: My old boss, Salvatore Valestria, found this out the hard way.
 * Have a Gay Old Time: Laugh at MY boner, will you?!
 * Hollywood Acid: Have a little whiff of my posy. Flowery pun, I know, but...
 * Hollywood Psych: According to the good doctors in Arkham, I'm not Insane, oh nonono. I am Super Sane! It's like Tourette's but mass murdery! Another one of dear Harley's bright ideas -- fortunately, I managed to get to her just in time, because lunacy like that needs a wider audience.
 * Horrifying the Horror: The Trickster said it best: "When super-villains want to scare each other, they tell Joker stories".
 * Hostile Show Takeover: After teaming up with Bat Guano, joining the races, and killing him with my 5th dimensional powers, this was only the next step. Even blew up Kamandi's earth in the Cold Opening!
 * How I Stole Christmas: During that grand year, The Long Halloween. While quoting good ol' Doc Seuss, no less!
 * Humiliation Conga: Less-Than-A-Pennyworth once outfenced me and trapped me on a pole-elevator of some sort, zipping up and down, up and down, for five minutes. Never did quite see what the pole was for...
 * Humans Are Bastards: Oh, we certainly are. I like to think I'm the best in that category.
 * The Hyena: It's always a laugh-a-minute around me, especially when the punchline involves a bomb and a busload of orphans. So many happy memories. I do remember some sort of amalgamated version of me with that name, but who can keep track?
 * If You Kill Him You Will Be Just Like Him: Apparently, this is the only reason Bats hasn't put me down. In some cases, I'm actively trying to get him to, either to show him we aren't so different or as the ultimate revenge.
 * If You're So Evil Eat This Kitten: I often have my men prove just how evil they are. Sometimes against each other.
 * Ignore the Fanservice: Honestly, I have more important things on my mind than "revving up my Harley", as she calls it.
 * I Kill The Bus Driver: in The Dark Knight. Oh, did I fail to mention that part of the plan? So sorry. NOT!!
 * Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Not me personally, but I'd wager my animated version's voice actor isn't the only Star Wars character in Batman: TAS. Would it really surprise you if my goons were the Mooks in white?
 * Impossibly Cool Clothes / Memetic Outfit: Hilarious carnage is simply not the same if you're not wearing a purple tux.
 * Heckuva ordeal to clean, though.
 * Improbable Aiming Skills: My aim should be this good after all these years of using Gotham's people as practice. Need an example? Fine! Remember that one animated movie that's criminally underrated? In it, I unload an entire magazine from a Tommy Gun at those singing robots, all of them being headshots which blast off the heads of all 4 robots. The camera reveals me to be the shooter and my left hand was in my pocket the whole time.
 * Improbable Weapon User: I try not to limit myself. Razor-edged playing cards, lethal joy buzzers, exploding kewpie-dolls...
 * And then there was the time I smacked Andie Beaumont with a salami. Insert your own joke here, this one's too easy for me.
 * Oh, and that other time where I took on Batsy and his lightsaber with a rubber chicken. You can call it stupid, I call it comedy.
 * Improvised Weapon: You may want to be on your guard if I ask you to pass the remote.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: "The Joker's Wild?" . Still, if you think that one was corny, you should see the one at the end of the movie with Jack
 * In Love with Your Carnage: But he's sooo magnificent when he loses it... Especially when he loses it on me. Ahh, but dear Bats is in deep denial.
 * Insanity Has Advantages: Let's face it, by all rights I should have gotten the death penalty a long time ago. Although I wonder which would be the best way to go... the electric chair would be an absolutely heavenly sensation, while dying by lethal injection would allow me to leave a beautiful corpse (and I do love the irony)...
 * Crane hates this. Can you believe the buffoon actually tried using his fear gas on me? HAHAHAHA!
 * Insanity Immunity: Put it this way, I once wore The Mask without any ill effects. Can't lose what ya don't got!
 * Instrument of Murder: I can do things with a violin bow you would not believe...
 * Insult Backfire: People say that I'm a sick, depraved, twisted, perverted, evil psychopath. I say "Thank You."
 * For example, in Arkham Asylum:

"Me: Medical Report! Stat! Doc: Y-you had a bad accident. You're a very sick man! Me: Flattery won't save you!"
 * On The Batman.

"The Bat: You're insane! Me: Has it really taken you this long to notice?"
 * Batman: The Long Halloween

"Boy Blunder: You're out of your mind, Joker! Me: Gloriously so! Isn't it wonderful?"
 * One of my oldest cases:

"Guanoman: Joker -- you realize you're utterly... hopelessly... insane! Me: It's my most charming trait!"
 * And an even earlier example in The Joker's Five-Way Revenge (Batman #251). Yeah, I really like this trope.

"Gambol: You're crazy. Me: I'm not... No, I'm not."
 * Subverted, however, in The Dark Knight.

"Vinnie: You're crazy. Me: Ever hear of the healing power of laughter?"
 * Aaaand played straight in Tim Burton's Batman:

"Vicky Vale: You're insane...! Me: (feigning surprise) I thought I was Pisces."
 * Later:

"Henchman: You're insane! Me: I know. I've got a certificate and everything."
 * And again in The Batman Adventures:

"Joker: (to the organized crime community) Look, I know why you choose to have your little group therapy sessions in broad daylight...
 * Intercontinuity Crossover: I even faced up to Old Chinface, what a death count! It was a real hoot, but Chinface's got even less of a sense of humour than the Bat! Jeez, some people just can't take a joke.
 * And, as noted elsewhere on this page, I met Captain America and teamed-up with the Red Skull until I found out Skully was a wacky Nazi. (They say that's off in its own little world. Isn't everything?) I also survived a couple of encounters with Frankie Castle, got fused with the furball called Sabretooth, and even met Spidey twice. Sadly, the second time, during Marvel vs DC, it wasn't Petey, but his clone, Benny.
 * Ooh, can't forget those crazy kung fu guys, I sure showed them a thing or two.
 * And as noted in "Insanity Immunity", I once put on The Mask! Didn't see hide nor hair of ol' Jimbo, but hey, he'd been riding my coattails all through the Nineties, so...
 * Intimidating Revenue Service: I'm crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS? No, thank you!
 * It Amused Me: Well, duh.
 * Jet Pack: Honestly, Batman can ruin anything if given the chance. Even if you're a regular guy looking to fly.
 * Joker Immunity: You can't keep a good clown down! (Except when Jack Nicholson plays me, or when I .) Does more need to be said?. Heck, even that time in the Tooniverse they did get rid of me, they had to do it twice over just to be sure.
 * Joker Jury: Another one named after little ol' me.
 * Kick the Dog: A robot dog at that.
 * Kick the Son of a Bitch: Sometimes Crane needs a reminder of who the people fear most.
 * Kill Sat: In my comeback attempt, I tried to use one of these wonderful toys to mark New Gotham as Joker territory. Unfortunately, Bat Fake had to ruin the fun.
 * : Once upon a time, . It should have been just like all the other times I dabbled with toxins, but sadly, it ended with me . The lesson is, Drugs Are Bad -- but only when they are used on you. Still, what a Downer Ending, huh?
 * Knife Nut: You know why I like knives? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the little emotions. You'd be surprised at what people reveal at their last moments.
 * Of course, if I need must soil my pinkies with a dirty ol' firearm - and I must, I absolutely must -- I stick with the classics.
 * Kryptonite Factor: Sometimes I bump into Superman and have to remind him what dirt tastes like. Honestly, the only thing to be defeated by a rock more than Supes is those unfortunate pair of scissors.
 * Kubrick Stare: I do enjoy giving folks this look from time to time (especially that one time).
 * Lack of Empathy: Oh, it's always about you, isn't it? What about me, huh? I nearly broke my arm swingin' that crowbar around!
 * Large Ham: I may be a ham, but I'm good at it!
 * The Last Dance: Doc once told me I had cancer. The incurable sort, ya know. Hoped I'd repent, become The Atoner, and undergo a standard Heel Face Turn. What did I really do? Blaze past all five stages of grief in thirty seconds, destroy the world's most secure prison and poison Earth's atmosphere with a big cloud of the ol' laughing gas in a massive Crisis Crossover. Bats pulled the doc's ears and reminded him - cornering a lunatic is just begging to be mauled.
 * Laughably Evil: Again, duh. I don't supply the trope image just because I'm so handsome, you know.
 * Laughing Mad: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
 * Lean and Mean: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, folks! Yes, it seems whenever I'm not some boxy-suited musclehead, I'm cursed with the physique of a stringbean. Ooh, I'm not complaining, mind you -- I gots me enough vim and vigor to go toe-to-toe with Tall, Dark, and Gruesome any time I please! (Craney-boy, however... now he's got a problem.)
 * Legacy Character: I get an entire street gang dedicated to my humble self over in Batman Beyond. And of course, in The Movie, there's little Joker Junior.
 * Love Makes You Evil: Maybe. Maybe I did all this because I lost my beloved wife as part of my One Bad Day. Maybe I didn't. Hey, wanna know how I got these scars? Then again, I've lied so much about my past. The way Batman tells it in Confidential, I never had a wife and it was the allure of Bats himself that drove me over the edge.
 * Luxury Prison Suite: Once upon a time, I used to maintain a minature version of my hide-out beneath my cell in Arkham. Ah, good times.
 * MacGyvering: Did I ever tell you about the time I mixed Joker Venom outta stuff in a janitor's closet at Arkham? Or why they won't let me have a remote for the TV anymore?
 * Mad Artist: Like Jacky-boy said in the movie, I make art until someone dies.
 * Then there was that little incident at the Gotham Art Museum -- that Pennyworth stick-in-the-mud put his work in my place, though.
 * Mad Bomber: I'm a man of simple tastes, you know: gunpowder, dynamite, oh, and explosives.
 * Mad Hatter: Can't blame me for wearing my little neuroses on my sleeve! Heck, I do it better than ol' Jervy!
 * Mad Love: Me and Harl' have this kind of relationship... that's completely one-sided. Took the girl well into Batman #663 to get that through her head.
 * Man of Wealth and Taste: Though sometimes I skip the wealth part. The good things in life? Bombs, guns, all that? They're cheap. Though I do love my threads, I'll give you that much.
 * Masochism Tango: I like taking it as much (or more) than I like giving it -- but only if it's Bats. He enjoys our little dances too, he just won't admit it.
 * Master Poisoner: You bet yer boots! Say, you look a little pale... more wine?
 * Mind Rape: I do these so often you could almost say they're my specialty! (Well, aside from jokes, of course.) Made 'em the happy souls they are today...
 * My most famous instance of this occured in The Killing Joke. Thanks, Alan!
 * Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. Two words. . Ain't I a stinker?
 * There was also a certain Detective Ethan Bennett. Tragically, his condition was less than permanent.
 * One incarnation of Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent.
 * Some may say this is what I did to Dr. Quinzel. But I say, look at how much happier she is now!
 * Even got to run old Batsy himself through this during my glorious reign as Emperor!
 * Once, I did this to a surfer to get his skill. Bats, the Boy Blunder, and Batgirl all overreacted. Get a sense of humor, people!
 * ...once, that damn Marvin wannabe did this to me. It was not funny. Making me sane - who he thinks he is? Only Bats can mess with my mind!
 * Mind Screw: I just looooooove messing with you people's heads. Did I mention I'm immune to fear gas & hypnotism?
 * Money to Burn: Literally.
 * Monster Clown: One could argue that I'm the prime example of this trope, mentally and physically.
 * Morality Pet: Dear little Harley really has mellowed me out, don't you think? Sweet kid... makes a fella consider giving up all the wild oats and settling down... (Maybe I should ask ol' Eddie Nygma -- he seems to have this problem a lot...)
 * Kick the Morality Pet: Although... I am gettin' sick of all the hyena crap around the lair... and she has foiled more than a few schemes through sheer incompetence... and Jiminy Christmas, that insufferable voice of hers! No doubt about it, it's time for a little corporate restructuring! So long, Harl ol' girl! Say “hi” to Bob for me! HAHAHAHAHEEHEEHOOHOOHA!
 * More Teeth Than the Osmond Family: Depending on who's capturing my fabulous smile on paper, of course!
 * Multiple Choice Past: If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be that way.
 * My Card: Strangely, not everyone appreciates the pun.
 * My God, What Have I Done?: Unusually, I of all people have been forced to go through this. Don'cha worry, hombre, Status Quo Is God. It's just that it was during that time that weird green guy forced my poor brain to think in such bizarre, diseased thought patterns. Last time a psychic ever tried to make me sane, though.
 * Nice Hat: A stylish chapeau is just the thing to top off my memorable outfit.
 * The Nicknamer: You made it all the way down here, and you still need me to tell you? Not exactly the brightest hammer in the henhouse, are ya, Tropesy?
 * Nietzsche Wannabe: Wannabe nothing, I'm a pro! I learned an important lesson a long time ago, one that makes this whole crazy, screwed-up world make sense: nothing makes sense. It's all just one big joke! But you guys, you don't get that -- so I've got to show you. One way or another.
 * Rousseau Was Right: And those times that people didn't take to the lesson don't count, damn it!
 * No Fourth Wall: And lovin' it! I'll happily chat directly with readers, and I've been doing it for years before that Anonymous -- in the "chan" sense of the phrase -- over at Marvel made it "cool"! I do it so well, even you can't be sure if I am or not sometimes!
 * No Name Given: What was my name back before that little incident with the vat of chemicals? Jack? Joe? Y'know, I'm not sure I remember it myself...
 * No Sense of Humor: No, really! In my very first first appearance, I was a smiling psychotic gangster with no sense of humor whatsoever -- and during my fight with Bats, he's the one making puns while I'm just screaming "I am going to kill you!"...
 * Not So Different: Batsy and I are two peas in a pod, and I keep trying to show him that. His response is predictable.
 * Not So Harmless: You'd think a villain with a clown theme would be the most pathetic and lowest rogue in the gallery, right? Boy, you gotta love the imagination of those writers!
 * Obfuscating Insanity: Shut uuuuuup.
 * One-Winged Angel: Not really my thing, but...
 * The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: The Bat is mine. Capiche? And yes, I have enforced that. Violently.
 * That also includes Robins and Batgirls, understand? Black Mask learned that the hard way...
 * OOC Is Serious Business: I stopped laughing? As the kids say these days, shit just got real.
 * Our Vampires Are Different: I decided to give the whole bloodsucker routine a shot. Reviews were good. Real good.
 * I'm not above playing dress-up as one either. Especially when my fellow villains don't invite me to their party.
 * I've even heard tell that off in the glittering cosmos, on Earth-Eleventy-Whatever, I led a whole army of Dracs, even though I never got switched! Of course, the poor fella's dead as disco now, buuuut... he was bumped off by Bat-Fink, so points for effort!
 * Perpetual Smiler: I'm a happy guy...
 * Pet the Dog: Alright, alright! There have been occasions (very infrequent occasions) where I might throw ol' Batsy a bone (shut up) and played nice. But keep your fat mouth SHUT about it! I have a reputation to maintain!
 * Pie in the Face: Batman's favorite present had to be the pie I gave him in the Christmas episode of the animated series.
 * Pirate: The actual pirate, not those illegal downloading kinds. And in my expert opinion, I looked damn good.
 * Pistol-Whipping: Guns aren't too quick in this case, Heathy boy. I'm indiscriminate when beating someone with a gun, even if it's my dear Harley.
 * Poke the Poodle: I'm not above stealing a kid's report card when I'm feeling down. Just as long as it makes someone else feel worse.
 * Behold, if you dare... the time I lowered Bruce Wayne's property values! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
 * Poker: I play from time to time, whether it be with those other villains or even Bruce Wayne. I'd call Wayne a cheater but...
 * Police Are Useless, unless his last name is Gordon.
 * Prima Donna Director: I still think the movie "The Death of Batman" would be a smashing hit.
 * Psychopathic Manchild: In the end, I'm just somebody who enjoys a good joke or a game or two! I don't need a reason, it's just fun!
 * Pungeon Master: I happen to like jokes. In case y'know, you hadn't figured it out by now.
 * Purple Is the New Black: And how! Honestly, can you imagine me dressed in any other color?
 * But I'll admit, Batsy manages to pull off black very well. How the other guys allow themselves to be seen in public like that I'll never understand.
 * Put on a Bus: I appeared in the very first issue of Detective Comics published in our brave New 52 world, only to let the Dollmaker cut off my face and hang it on a wall. Suppose I should get around to having that sucker stapled back on one of these days...
 * Put the Laughter In Slaughter: Deary me! Is this a Trope Namer I see? Also, my dear little Harley says I put the "fun" back in funeral.
 * Reality Warper: Emperor Joker, huh? Why so formal? Simply call me Your Maniacal Majesty Who Hijacked Ol' Mxy's Powers And Almost Caused The Multiverse To Snap In Half Like A Dry Twig...
 * Red Baron: Ooh, it seems my reputation precedes me! Let's see here... I've been called The Clown Prince of Crime, The Harlequin of Hate, The Thin White Duke of Death, The Ace of Knaves, Maurice...
 * Removed From the Picture: It would be interesting to know exactly how many times I've "died" over the years.
 * Retirony: My father was a cop, who was one week from retirement when the mob killed him. At least, that's what I told Doctor Young...
 * The Reveal: Hands up. Who was expecting  See, I like people who get the joke...
 * Over in one particularly lovely little hellhole,  I like the way this world thinks.
 * Robot Buddy: Good old Captain Clown!
 * Robotic Spouse: Honey, I'm home!
 * Sad Clown: You ever hear of the one about that loser who lost his wife, his baby and his face all in one day? You too? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
 * Sanity Slippage: Depending on which story you believe, a slip is what caused my sanity slippage.
 * Sarcastic Clapping: At Chief Jimmy's promotion.
 * Self-Made Orphan: Depending on my past du jour. ...And then there's little J.J.
 * Serial Killer: I don't kill people randomly. I only kill people when it's funny.
 * Shoot Your Mate: I even had one of my Mooks crush another with a school bus!
 * Shout-Out: Oh you know me, a quick reference is always good for a gag. Like that one time I got mixed up with those kung fu whackos. When I found out who was behind it, well, I just couldn't resist.
 * Show Some Leg: I wanted to make sure Harley saw me, 'kay? I was due to have a very important business meeting with Lex Luthor, you know. Who was trapped, I mean, waiting in the back of the limo she was driving.
 * Sissy Villain: I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, darling.
 * Miller Time, God bless 'is heart, took this simple little concept and ran it into the freakin' end zone. Poison lipstick? Balls nasty.
 * Slasher Smile: See this cheerful fellow? My very own dashing good looks were modelled on him.
 * Detective Comics #880 shows what I look like when I'm high off my own joker gas.
 * Smug Smiler: Mostly around Bats and Jimmy. Especially Jimmy.
 * Snuff Film: What, you think I wouldn't try my hand at something like this? My attempt at becoming a cinematic auteur was to be entitled The Man Who Killed Batman, although unfortunately I had a number of "creative differences" with my star. Old Batsy can be such a prima donna at times...
 * Strike Me Down with All of Your Hatred: No one can say I don't give my all to the joke.
 * Suicide by Cop: Case in point. During the Last Laugh storyline, Nightwing (Robin #1 for those keeping score) did me in. However, Batsy ruined the fun bringing me back because he didn't want his boyfri-I mean, ex sidekick to be a murderer. Still, wished I’d filmed it though.
 * Theme Serial Killer: I've done this on occasion, when it seemed like a fun thing to do.
 * Too Kinky to Torture: But you're welcome to try...
 * Top One Hundred Comic Book Villains: I can't believe I'm second banana to some walking magnet with a bucket on his head! What's he do, erase all your old video tapes? Are people that attached to their copies of The Star Wars Holiday Special?
 * Troll: It's fun making people mad!
 * Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Totally, totally inverted. Most people can't understand why a burly hunk like myself hangs out with plain little Harley. Guess I'm just a nice guy.
 * Unhand Them, Villain!: Ooh, poor choice of words...
 * Villainous Breakdown: I admit it. Even the greatest among us can't keep from going a little crazier from time to time. My most notable one was probably when Bat Fake mocked me. But can you blame me? Ol' Bruce never said anything like what that punk said!
 * There was this one time... I was holding the Philosopher's Stone... just waiting to remake the world in my glorious image... and then that damn green guy did something to me. Something 'orrible. Something I don't want to remember. Methinks he may have made me -- gasp! SANE! Fortunately, it did not last.
 * When you're trying to prove that evil is stronger than good, it is really off-putting to be derailed by.
 * Villainous Crush: There's Miss Vale in the movies. And in issue four of my self titled mag' I fell for, of all people, Black Canary. Twas during a time she was more a damsel for that Batman wannabe to rescue however.
 * Villainous Harlequin: Less serious works like Batman and Batman the Brave And The Bold depict me like this. Just so long as I have a smile on my face! Well, that and whats-her-name.
 * Villain Song: I finally had one in Batman the Brave And The Bold's adaptation of Emperor Joker called "Where's the Fun in That?"
 * And then there was the one Jimmy Steinman wrote for me in that musical they never got around to making.
 * Then there's Harley and Baboon-Me, livin' it up and out on the town in The Batman. Notable for not actually being an original song, and for being the last time a consummate professional like me does a friggin' duet.
 * And then there was the number I sang for that old fart Gordon in The Killing Joke. (That's right, I sang an original song in a comic.) Shame, really – if only Al had included, say, a piano, maybe you'd know what it sounded like!
 * The Great Luke Ski wrote "House Party at Arkham Asylum" for me.
 * Oh, and there's that one time I did my own spin on a certain Christmas carol. I'm sure most of you will sing along with me!
 * And now I have this lovely number.
 * Villain Team-Up: For some reason, my fellow baddies don't like hanging with the J-man. Well, except maybe good ol' Lex, and he makes a great Straight Man.
 * When other villains gather and try to scare each other, they tell Joker stories.
 * War On Cops: With Knightfall and The Dark Knight standing out as major examples.
 * Water Source Tampering: I frequently plot to slip Joker-venom into Gotham's water supply.
 * Then there was the time I turned the water supply into jelly.
 * What Could Have Been: I could have been a part of the Legion of Doom in Challenge Of The Super Friends, but as it turned out, I was in The New Adventures of Batman instead. Their loss as far as I'm concerned. I mean, they had Bizarro of all people! He's not a menace, he's a nuisance! And don't get me started on The Riddler. Why him be the Bat's counterpart? I mean really, riddles are boring, not to mention too easy for the Bat to solve. Where's the fun in that?
 * Then again, in Batman: The Brave And The Bold, they wised up and included me among their ranks. THAT was one heck of a baseball game.
 * Who's Laughing Now?: Admittedly, only one time in my life (or rather my next life), did somebody get the better of me when it came to getting under other people's skin. And that ended up as quite a "shocker!"
 * Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him: Just shoot him? The death of Batman must be nothing less than a masterpiece! The triumph of my sheer comic genius over his ridiculous mask and gadgets!
 * Oh, what the heck! I mean, it's not like he's gonna wriggle out of...
 * Wild Mass Guessing: My Multiple Choice Past tends to do that. Hell, one of the best Epileptic Trees I've heard is that I used to be some kid named Calvin! Not that I'm giving you any hints....
 * Would Hit a Girl: And with a smile, kiddies! Just ask dear ol' Harl if ya don't believe me.
 * Would Hurt a Child: Why should adults have all the fun?
 * Wolverine Publicity: My face was made for the spotlight! I can't help if I'm so marketable! They've even got my face on shoes for crying out loud!
 * Xanatos Backfire: Maybe I should've checked whether or not my attempt to force Batman into his greatest boner was foolproof enough to not wind up becoming Out-Gambitted. For starters, I should've sent Bats and his sidekick into the Atlantic via plane, and not England like I wound up doing. But I certainly didn't count on Bats tracking the signal to my hideout!
 * You Gotta Have Green Hair: Well, you gotta have it when you take a bath in toxic ooze, anyway.
 * You're Insane!: Ain't it glorious?
 * Your Little Dismissive Diminutive: Ah yes, your little observation that I use this a lot is quite fitting, especially if you got it from The Dark Knight. I use it at least six times in that movie.
 * Your Little Dismissive Diminutive: Ah yes, your little observation that I use this a lot is quite fitting, especially if you got it from The Dark Knight. I use it at least six times in that movie.

Joker: (to the organized crime community) Soon little Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma.

Joker: (to Batman) You just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are, hmm?

Joker: (to Batman) Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny?

Joker: (to Harvey Dent) They're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. (referring to the police and the organized crime community alike)

Joker: (to Harvey Dent) I just took your little plan and I turned it on itself."

Ahh, that was fun, but I really should be going. I'm late for Battyman's funeral. Wish you could come, but this jet pack only holds one! Up, up... and AWAAAAAAAAYYYYYAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!