SPANC: Space Pirate Amazon Ninja Catgirls



SPANC: Space Pirate Amazon Ninja Catgirls is a card game from Steve Jackson Games for two to four players, who each control a crew of, well, Space Pirate Amazon Ninja Catgirls. The object of the game is to be the first crew to collect 10 Loot tokens and/or Poolboy cards. ("Poolboys are of no practical use, aside from housekeeping and footrubs, but they are very good for their owners' morale" says the manual.) The stereotypes of pool boys and other things makes it easier to figure out what they're used for.

The crew is made up of four Catgirls, determined by randomly dealt Crew Cards. Each Catgirl has four skill ratings on her card: Space Pirate, Amazon, Ninja, and Catgirl skills (bet you didn't see that coming). Play consists of a series of "Capers," each of which is made up of four challenges from the Challenge Cards. Each crew takes turns attempting the challenges, rolling against the appropriate skill on the Catgirl's card. Some cards add bonuses or penalties to the skill roll. Bonuses can also be applied to the roll if the Catgirl has a Toy Card, or can trade with someone who has an applicable Toy Card. Winning the challenge lets you take Loot tokens and/or Toy Cards.

There are optional rules for Catfights if more than one crew completes all four challenges. Between capers, the crew gets to trade Toy Cards or buy more from the deck with their Loot. Some of the challenges that must be tackled include Locked Vault, Laser Beams of Doom, Ball of Yarn, Catnip Farm, Friendly Guard Puppies, Stuck Airlock, Holiday Crowds, Chinese Finger Trap, Anti-Ninja Spray, and of course fighting off Teenage Boys.


 * BFG: Daphne the Daring. Also the "Biggest Gun" Toy Card.
 * Catgirl
 * Catholic School Girls Rule: Fluffball, plus other school-uniform-clad character art.
 * Chainmail Bikini: Actually, it's a Camouflage Bikini, which is equally ridiculous.
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: The player tokens are red, yellow, blue, and green. Also, the four skills are consistently colored between the Crew Cards and Challenge Cards.
 * Deus Est Machina: The Insane A.I. Challenge Card.
 * Everything's Even Worse with Sharks: the Shark Pit Challenge Card.
 * Faceless Mooks: The Token Mooks card.
 * Fan Service: Up to Eleven.
 * Fun with Acronyms
 * The relevant "Designer's Notes" column in Pyramid Magazine had a Suspiciously Specific Denial concerning the non-existence of an expansion pack called Barbarian Dogboy Space Marines.
 * Green-Skinned Space Babe: The crew have various colors of fur, including green, orange, yellow, red, purple, pink, and dark blue.
 * Just for Pun: Shurikitten.
 * Mary Sue: Mary Sue.
 * Mistress and Servant Boy: Any crewmember with a Poolboy.
 * Ms. Fanservice: Most of the crew are drawn in deliberately suggestive or flirtatious poses and varying states of undressing from their already skimpy outfits. (The Poolboys serve as Mr. Fanservice.)
 * Ninja
 * Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot
 * Phil Foglio: Responsible for the artwork.
 * Pirate Girl: In Space!
 * Red Shirt: The Rent-A-Cops.
 * Rule of Cool
 * Rule of Funny: almost all of the Challenge Cards, many of which have trope-like titles.
 * Shout-Out: The crewmember named Mystery appears to have a bladed glove suggesting Wolverine or Freddy Krueger. The Toy Card "Stabby Spiky Thing" might be a reference to the "Mr. Pointy" stake from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. "Only a Scratch" is, of course, "Tis but a..." And the Sailor Suit Toy Card is obvious.
 * Space Pirates
 * Squick: I don't know what is happening on the "Fuzzy Alien Pet" Toy Card!
 * Stripperiffic: almost all of the Catgirls' outfits.