(500) Days of Summer/Funny

"Tom: And then she took...a giant SHIT...on my FACE! ...LITERALLY! Blind Date: ...Literally? Tom: ...No, not literally, gross--ew, what's the matter with you?"
 * While the movie generally avoids overly-easy Rule of Funny, it still manages to earn more than its fair share of spit-takes, even from people not actually drinking anything at the time.
 * The shower scene, where  Funny enough as it is, but the fact that   makes it hilarious.
 * "I HATE THIS SONG!"
 * "PENIS!"
 * The greeting card a broken Tom writes after Summer leaves him: "Roses are red, violets are blue... Fuck you whore".
 * Tom's blind date. Drunken karaoke singing is always hilarious, but Gordon-Levitt's especially good at it.

"Paul: Look, maybe she was just having a bad day. Mackenzie: Yeah, maybe is was--was some sort of... hormonal thing. Rachel: PMS? Tom: What do you know about PMS? Rachel: More than you, Tom."
 * "Darling . . . I don't know how to tell you this, but... there's a Chinese family in our bathroom."

"This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Especially you, Jenny Beckham. Bitch."
 * The very first thing that appears on the screen: