Shatnerquake

No one is safe as William Shatner, William Shatner, William Shatner, William Shatner, William Shatner, William Shatner, William Shatner and William Shatner team up to kill... William Shatner.

When William Shatner arrives at the first annual ShatnerCon, he is confronted by hordes of his own fans, who worship his various media incarnations - and an attempted terrorist attack by the Campbellians, crazed fans of Bruce Campbell. However, the attack is thwarted by a humble movie projectionist, who unwittingly summons an even more dangerous threat: every character ever played by William Shatner, who all arrive with a single goal in mind: Kill the real William Shatner.

Yeah, it's a bizarro novel. How'd you guess?

Shatnerquake is a novel by Jeff Burk, published in 2009. It was followed in 2013 by an sort-of sequel, Shatnerquest.


 * Affectionate Parody
 * Alien Blood: The other Shatners bleed black and have film stock for entrails.
 * Axe Crazy: Captain Kirk, after getting his hands on a lightsaber and getting brained by a replica Borg cube.
 * Badass: William Shatner.
 * Bizarro Fiction
 * Bring My Brown Pants
 * Decoy Getaway: William Shatner has Bob Chaplin (see I'm Your Biggest Fan, below) distract the deranged Captain Kirk while Shatner himself skedaddles.
 * Dramatic Pause: Shatner talks like this all the time.
 * Fan Boy: Lots of these.
 * Gorn: A lot of people die in horribly violent ways.
 * Half the Man He Used To Be: A handful of characters get bisected.
 * Humanoid Abomination: All the Shatners are aware on some level that they "shouldn't" exist in this world, but only Animated!Kirk really gets it.
 * I Know Karate: After getting mobbed by crazed fans at a previous convention, Shatner decided to study martial arts to defend himself.
 * I'm Your Biggest Fan: Bob Chaplin, who got reconstructive surgery so he would look and sound like William Shatner, and even researched all the outfits that Shatner wears to conventions so that he would pick the same one Shatner did. Shatner even compares Chaplin to Annie Wilkes.
 * Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: One character is run through with many functional replicas of weapons Shatner has used throughout his Star Trek career, and ultimately killed when the display the weapons were on ultimately falls on her.
 * Inherently Funny Words: When you repeat any phrase enough times, it loses all meaning. William Shatner! William Shatner! William Shatner! William Shatner William Shatner William Shatner William Shatner!
 * Jerkass: Several of the Shatners, including Shatner Prime and SNL!Shatner.
 * Ludicrous Gibs: Rick vs. a Fiction Bomb.
 * Magic Countdown
 * Me's a Crowd
 * Oh Crap: "Oh shit, Captain Kirk's got a lightsaber!"
 * Paper People: Animated!Kirk.
 * Planet of Steves: All the Campbellians apparently go by "Bruce". Yes, even the women.
 * Real Person Fic: Duh.
 * Refugee From TV Land: All the Shatners.
 * Serious Business: In Bizarro World, Bruce Campbell's fans are fanatical enough to try to kill all followers of William Shatner. The Campbellians even cut off their right hands.
 * Shout-Out: To lots of Shatner's acting roles.
 * Tap on the Head: A character tries to stop the crazed Captain Kirk by caving in the side of his head with a replica of a Borg cube. Unfortunately, this only makes him more deranged.
 * Teeth Flying
 * Unusually Uninteresting Sight: It's ShatnerCon. Of course there are going to be multiple Shatners running around trying to kill each other.
 * Villainous BSOD: Animated!Kirk is the most aware that he and the other Shatners shouldn't exist in this world. The knowledge has crippled him to the point that he begs for death.
 * Weapon of Mass Destruction: The Fiction Bomb, which is designed to completely erase from existence (and make it never have existed) any given media within its blast range.