Brewdening Love/YMMV

""How could he dump me? DID he dump me? Leaving your girldriend after a talk like that I dunno. He had bean so mean... He had just leafed me becorse I was hot. It was UNFARE!!!111 I wandered if this was how Jesus had felt being beetrayd by Jewdas.""
 * Acceptable Targets: Homosexuals, Jews, goths, anime fans, the Japanese, her critics, Team Jacob members... Heck, anyone except Erin herself. But only Erin seems to think so.
 * Accidental Innuendo: You don't want to know. There's a lot of it, though.
 * Anvilicious: The "marriage before sex" message... poor Ed is gonna have blue balls of death with all her massive cock teasing.
 * Awesome Moments: Brian burning down Joan's house, then calling her out on her hypocrisy, and finishing off with uttering his unforgettable line, "Because I am the FBI and I can." One tears up just thinking about it...
 * Edward splitting with Joan and finally realizing she's trouble.
 * Better Than Canon: The snarkers' Fanon.
 * Big Lipped Alligator Moment: The revenge chapters come right out of nowhere, and are never mentioned again. There are also many dropped arcs, including whether Joan chose Edward or Jacob.
 * Bile Fascination
 * Black Hole Sue: Everything revolves around this bitch. EVERYTHING.
 * Creator's Pet: Jenny is almost as bad as her friend... until Chapter 37, that is.
 * Damsel Scrappy: Joan, much like Bella, is always getting into trouble so Edward can save her. What a strong female she is.
 * Designated Hero: Joan, and how.
 * Designated Villain: Brian.
 * Die for Our Ship: Don't get between Edward and Joan/Erin. It won't be pretty.
 * Drinking Game: Behold mortals, the quickest way to get alcohol poisoning ever created by man.
 * Ensemble Darkhorse: Brian and Joan's dad.
 * Jenny is on her way. Heck, anyone who Joan/Erin has wronged.
 * Firebird, Skegs, Pussle, and Halohead, who are actually Lady Phoenix, Skeksis Girl, Puzzle Chick, and Echo Five Seven from Twilight Sucks. Any of the other snarkers featured in the revenge chapters also deserve credit.
 * Family-Unfriendly Aesop: Hey kids! It's okay to be a hypocritical antisemitic whore as long as you pay lip service to God! Also, if anyone criticizes you and actually gives you damn good advice... THEY ARE A SINNER!!!
 * You know how your father scolded you for letting a mysterious guy sneak into your room every night without him knowing? He's not looking out for your safety- he's just an abusive drunk!
 * Fan-Preferred Couple: Hugo/Brian.
 * Edward/Jenny, thanks to Chapter 37.
 * And Edward/Becca. Heck, any pairing except canon ones (except Brian/Hugo- that has to be canon).
 * At this point, any pairing that doesn't involve Erin or Joan.
 * Funny Moments: "O0o0o0o0o0o0o <- they are cute bubles." No, it doesn't make sense in context.
 * God Mode Sue: Joan in Twilight World/Bible, who is made "The Queen of Christianity," because we all know how much of a good Christian she is.
 * Ho Yay: Brian and Hugo. Upon discovering their fans, Erin attempts to sink the ship, but it hasn't affected the fanbase at all.
 * Idiot Plot: Let's face it, this is Erin masturbating over Edward, nothing more.
 * ESPECIALLY in Edward's Birthday. She even changes her character's name to Erin at the last second.
 * Jerkass Sue: Joan. Freaking Joan.
 * Memetic Badass: Brian, the Kamina of this fic.
 * Memetic Mutation: From the Twilight Sucks fic-sporking thread linked in the summary: JENNY WAS THE WINDOW!
 * MY HOUSE WAS FIRE!!
 * Because I am the FBI and I can.
 * This page is sex-ah.
 * Nightmare Fuel: The "Popestick." You'll never want to get on the Pope's bad side again.
 * The entirety of Edward Secert, but two parts in particular:
 * Edward slicing his own finger off with shockingly vivid description.
 * Jacob getting electricuted to death, having his soul ripped out to be punched by God, and being thrown into Hell. Why? Because he is gay!
 * Relationship Sue: Joan's entire reason for being is to hook up with Edward.
 * The same could be said about Edward- he is only in the story so he can fall in love with Eri- I mean Joan.
 * Rescued From the Scrappy Heap: Jenny after Joan treated her like crap, and, surprisingly, Edward after he told Joan he doesn't love her anymore.
 * Jacob, thanks to using common sense and fighting for his rights to be homosexual in Edward Secert.
 * The Scrappy: Joan and Erin. Though, they are the same person...
 * Shipping: Brian and Hugo/Mr. Smith OTP! No matter how much Erin denies it. They are the best part of the story.
 * Wasn't Jenny and Becca suggested too?
 * And Joan and Jenny.
 * So Bad It's Sex-ah: Mostly, it's this.
 * Sympathetic Sue: After Joan smacks Jenny and plans to murder her as well as Brian so he can't be paired up with Mr. Smith anymore, we are expected to feel bad for HER and wish death on these two innocent people because she lost her boyfriend. Yup.
 * Thirty-Sue Pileup: Until recently, every good character was a Mary Sue or Gary Stu. Now, only Joan is.
 * Villain Decay: Wait, who is James again?
 * The guy who magically made Bella pregnant with a demon baby, obviously.
 * Wangst: In spades.


 * Warped Aesop: Marrying someone just because they are sex-ah.
 * True love happening in a matter of hours and only based on physical appearances.
 * God makes ANYTHING possible... including forcing people to fall in love with you against their will and killing those you don't like! All you have to do is pray for their deaths/attention!
 * The Woobie: Jenny, who nearly had her boyfriend stolen by Joan and got smacked for supposedly wanting to steal Edward. Mr. Smith could count too, considering he is supposedly abusive, but seems to be a nice guy who has to put up with Joany Sue's behavior.
 * Jacob in Edward Secert. He is fried by lighting and thrown headfirst into Hell because he is a homosexual and won't permanently cut off his own finger to prove he is straight.
 * Pikachu in Truelove Fight. There were no signs of it doing anything harmful, yet Edward threw it up, and it never came down. Fans think it is in Heaven...
 * Actually, since Truelove Fight has been gaining in popularity (at least on the TS forums), the Pikachu has been elevated to something of a memetic badass, appearing in two fics and earning the nickname "The Snarkachu."
 * Everyone who is stuck in this crapfest except Erin/Joan. Specifically:
 * Bella, who was killed in Twilight World for finding love, forced to have an abortion after magically becoming pregnant with James's (er, Joms's) baby in Bellas Baby, and insulted by Erin constantly.
 * Becca, to quote the source material, ""I scremed in joy and ran down the hill and into Beccas car, telling her that no matter how much lipstick she had on her lips would always look a bit ugly so to drop the fucking lippy and to drive to"
 * Brian, who is being hunted down in Chapter 37 to keep people from pairing him with Hugo.
 * Hugo... Poor Hugo. He is accused of being an alcoholic, abusive, too busy to see his daughter, and an Overprotective Dad, when in fact he is shown to be caring, hardworking but still having time for his daughter, and only concerned for her safety. He is also kept from the love of his life, Brian.
 * Tana from Edwards Birthday. She compliments Edward one time, and gets slapped, called a slut, and punched in the stomach by Edward.