Hell's Kitchen/Funny


 * Pretty much every time Gordon decides to have a little fun by making a joke or pulling a prank at the expense of Jean-Philippe and his unflappable stuffiness.
 * Meta: JP's April Fool's prank on Ramsay: his head (through a hole in the table) is hidden under a silver tray. When Ramsay lifts it off, JP screams (causing his boss to flinch), and deliver this gem: "APRILFOOOOOL!"
 * For that matter, about half the insults he throws around are absolutely hilarious, as long as you aren't fond of the recipient. For someone who specializes in the Cluster F-Bomb, Ramsay's occasional use of "bozo" will crack you up.
 * On a few occasions, a customer will go up to the kitchen and ask Gordon some questions. While no malice is intended, the customer is interrupting kitchen operations and the customer gets a good telling off. The funniest instance is in this video, where a particularly persistent, not to mention particularly busty, female customer is verbally pwned.

Season 3
"Ramsay: What is that? Jen: That's a duck breast."
 * Jen's reaction to the "lame duck" incident in season 3, episode 5.


 * She wasn't lying. The duck breast was the only thing on the plate. And it was rubbery and overcooked at that.

Season 4

 * Craig wearing his 10 inch tall chef's hat prompts various quips from the Chef, such as "Nice Hat", even questioning if the 5' 5" Craig had "Small Boy Syndrome" downstairs.
 * In Season 4; Jason was unable to keep his soufflés from sticking to the cups, and mentioned to Ramsay that he was going to try brushing sugar and cocoa around the rim to prevent this (for those of you that don't know, this is the first thing you're supposed to do when cooking a soufflé). After hearing this, Gordon stood there slack-jawed for a few seconds before going to the counter in between the kitchens...and bashing his forehead against it repeatedly.
 * Also this:"Ramsay: He doesn't give a fuck, he's dreaming, he's standing around pissing himself looking for his tartar caviar and white chocolate crap... and he's running around like a toilet brush! Is anyone going to TAKE, CONTROL?!?!"

Season 5
"Robert: C'mon guys, fuckin' DO IT! Ben: C'mon, move this...  Robert: C'mon guys, keep pushin'!  Robert's confession cam: All I heard was: RIIIIIIP! Sous Chef Scott: Robert's ass is hangin' out all over the place... Robert's confession cam: Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass! Robert: I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a shit! Ramsay: ...Damn!..."
 * In Season 5, Robert was single-handedly keeping the appetisers flowing during Lacey's ultimately fatal meltdown on the meat station, and got going so fast that he ended up busting open the seat of his pants. Even if you consider that type of thing to be puerile, Robert's nonchalant reaction to the situation in both the kitchen and the Confession Cam inserts, in addition to other staff's reactions were brilliantly funny:

"Ramsay: So, the inspiration for this dish came from...? Danny: I just...pulled it outta my ass. Ramsay:  ...Put it back there, because it sucks!"
 * Danny's blunt yet honest response to Gordon when he questioned the inspiration for his "Mahi Gone Bananas" signature dish:

"Giovanni: He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for worse, it looked like he went at it with a jackhammer!"
 * Also from Season 5, Seth ends up wasting a shit ton of meat, which Chef Ramsay flings at him. Cue a brief shot of Ben's horrified reaction (D8). Giovanni's observation was also something worth listening to over and over:

Season 6
"Dave: The goal is to not cook an animal that India worships..."
 * In Season 6, Gordon had a little kid impersonate him and tell the candidates they suck.
 * No, it's better than that. The four contestants see a silhouette of Ramsay pace back and forth from upstairs looking flustered. Cue the kid coming down the stairs.
 * Also in Season 6, Sabrina telling the men via the Confession Cam: " You guys are dorks, " with a lungful of helium.
 * In fact, the women playing with helium tank is something to behold, particularly Tek doing an impression of Gordon Ramsay in a chipmunk voice, and Ariel bursting into a fit of laughter when Amanda and Sabrina call her name in high pitched voices.
 * Pretty much three quarters of the stuff Jim said qualifies, particularly when describing the red team's kitchen in the Welcome Home dinner service in Episode 5 as a "kitchen-pocalypse", likening the scraps of meat everywhere to "a hand grenade that went off in a cow's ass".
 * We get various comments from some of the men as Jean Phillipe loses his temper with Van:
 * Tony thinks JP will thrown down with Van.
 * Andy can't quite believe what he's seeing.
 * Kevin believes JP is gonna fuckin' hit him.
 * Jim? "Hit'em!"
 * After Joseph's meltdown in Season 6, he storms out of the dining room... and trips over the landing where the bar is situated. Ramsay, not missing a beat, says "Watch the step!"
 * It can be safely said that Season 6 would be the most hilarious season, with a bicycle punishment and a video that pretty much vouches for at least one third of the season's hilarity.
 * However, repeated viewings become less funny when you remember that this punishment worsened Robert's heart condition...
 * In season 6, the final 3 were tasked with creating dishes suited to a specific nation's cuisine. Dave received Indian, which he had never cooked before, and he was struggling to pick a protein for his dish, as he knew that in Indian culture, certain animals were highly revered, and some of those animals were on the menu. Dave summed this up perfectly, in one of the funniest possible tones:

"Dave: Why did I choose pork for my protein? I just screwed myself up."
 * He chose pork for his dish, and learned that pork was definitely not a meat you served to Indians. His response:

"You're not supposed to drink duck."
 * In one episode, part of the blue team's punishment was to drink a blended-up mixture of various fine dining meals, resulting in this quote, which Dave's deadpan tone made hilarious:

"Dave: I don't work well with children!" Dave: (passing out dishes with his good arm) That's me, the one armed bandit! (cut to him in confession cam) I basically sold myself."
 * In Season 6, the same episode with the kid impersonator, the chefs find out that they have to serve their vegetarian dish...to kids. Dave has the best reactions.

Season 7

 * After Episode 5's reward/punishment, Salvatore is chatting with the other cooks about their deepest secrets. Holli revealing that she has a massive porn collection leaves Jay so speechless that he didn't know what to think.
 * A season 7 example, when a little girl was drawing a picture while she was waiting to be served her food. Her drawing? An image of Gordon Ramsay screaming "YOU DONKEY!"
 * Seeing the normally straightlaced high school teacher Ed in season 7 get drunk in the dorms was hilarious.
 * "While Siobhan tries to figure out which crustacean belongs on her station..."
 * Given how the narrator said that with such enthusiasm, one can be forgiven for thinking he waited 7 seasons to say that line.
 * The final line of season 7...

Season 8
"THEY MADE A MOON COME OUT OF RAJ'S DRUNKEN HANDS WHILE HE WAS DOING KARATE. I teared up."
 * Season 8: Although a very polarising contestant, everything that Raj does in general. In fact, the official Hell's Kitchen YouTube page has a video featuring (almost) every moment of Raj's antics. The only thing funnier than his antics in that video is the comments section.
 * Especially in one episode where he does karate moves while drunk, made even funnier thanks to the editor. A quote from one reviewer:

"Jill: "Well make us something delicious for dinner!" (Drunk) Vinny: "I'm delicious.""
 * In Season 8's second episode, the contestant are lined up for their next challenge, when all of a sudden, Raj starts breathing heavily. This prompts some of the other cooks to mock him in confessionals, in order: Sabrina mimicking Raj's breathing in an exaggerative manner, Jillian as if she'd just run a mile, and the best one, Vinny as if he's breathing into a paper bag.
 * Later on in Season 8, Trev is mixing Chinese and Mexican cuisine into one dish, when his pan catches fire. What does Chef Ramsay do? "Watch your hair!" as he pulls out a fire extinguisher, causing everyone to burst out laughing.
 * This becomes funnier in hindsight when you realise that Trev had gone bald between this season and Season 18.
 * This line from season 8, episode 4:

"Trev: "You don't wanna make out a lil' bit?" Gail: "Not really." (laughs) Cut to the Time Passes Montage, and a scene of the chefs preparing for service. Narrator: "Trev may have not got lucky last night, but both teams are hoping to score.""
 * From the same episode, Trev complains about his team with Gail.

"Raj: Have you got the cheese? Boris: I've got the cheese, all I'm asking is you help me roll the fuckin' dough. Raj: Where the fuck is it? Boris: Here, put it here...first shape it...put it here... Raj: It's dough though, ya can't roll it. Boris: Roll. The fuckin. Pizza Dough! Raj: Here's more mozzarella. Boris: '''ROLL THE FUCKIN' PIZZA DOUGH, WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?! ARE YOU FUCKIN'...URRGGGGHHH!!!"
 * In season 8, the Blue Team loses a challenge where the punishment is being made to sort trash for recycling. As the Red Team leaves for their reward, Trev (who had been transferred back to the Blue Team after a short stint on the Red Team) runs towards the Red Team and yells "GIVE US A HUG! DON'T YOU MISS ME?" The Red Team's reaction was priceless.
 * It may just be the timing, but the cheeky bassoon that plays as Raj awkwardly takes a customer's order, almost sounds like "Fat Guy Music".
 * Then there's this exchange between Boris and Raj on pizzas:

Season 9

 * In Season 9, one of the blue team's punishments for losing a challenge was to peel a massive amount of grapes. Tommy started cracking a lot of incredibly bad grape-related puns, which Natalie got tired of. Combined with the tedious job of peeling, this culminated in her throwing grapes onto the floor and stomping on them, shouting that she was done with grapes. Tommy then made another related pun, and Natalie answered by throwing grapes at him.
 * After the Blue Team wins their third challenge in Season 9 (thanks to Natalie being transferred to them), Johnathon tells Ramsay that he would've had Tommy wear a dress if having a lady on the team to get them talking was that easy. "If it was that easy to get a beautiful lady to get us talking, I'd have had Tommy wear a dress, man".
 * This doubles a heartwarming since despite some initial skepticism, the men appreciated Natalie's presence on the team thereafter, and were upset when they had to nominate her for elimination in a later episode.
 * Also in Season 9, Elise telling Ramsay that the reason her beef wellington didn't cook right is become Tommy cut it wrong during prep work. Ramsays stares at her slack-jawed for a moment, then waves her over to the other kitchen where Tommy is working. "I wanna see what you say to him, c'mere you." Watch here.
 * Making this even funnier though is that not only did Tommy not score those wellingtons, but the rollback of the camera footage showed Tommy outright refusing to do so.
 * Season 9, Jennifer and Elise are put up to leave, Jennifer because she never talks in the kitchen and Elise because, well because she's Elise. "I have two chefs, one who can't fucking talk, and one who can't fucking shut up".
 * Season 9. Chef Ramsey actually summons a bigger fish and scares the contestants.

Season 10

 * In the first episode of season 10, sous chef Andi removed a wig, revealing that she's just as bald as sous chef Scott! Even better, Scott said that the contestants would have to shave their heads to prove to Ramsay that they are dedicated to the competition. Two people actually did get their heads shaved by Scott, and then he told Danielle, who in the confessional had said that she didn't want her head shaved, that it was her turn...
 * Also from Season 10, the women have David Beckham and his son as their VIP at the chef's table. Dana and Christina in particular cannot help fawning over him, but Christina's comment that he "rode in on a unicorn eating a cupcake", complete with a glittery rainbow added in by the editor is a lot of fun to watch. When you remember that Christina is an out-of-the closet lesbian, her fawning over him makes it even funnier.

Season 13

 * The mock music video the editors threw together when Sterling rapped a couple of bars. The record label is even credited as "Hell's Kitchen Fresh Jams"!
 * Sterling singing orchestra: "French toast, crepes....Florentine, how looooonnngg?"
 * Cooking scallops requires about 40 seconds to get a good sear them. So how does Sterling go about timing his scallops? By counting to 40 out loud.