Drive Angry/Funny

"The Accountant: "You, fat fuck.""
 * "That's the way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it/ Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."
 * It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several assailants while doing his special oil check on the lady in the motel AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
 * This is also hilarious later on when the shell-shocked waitress is trying to explain what happened to the cops.
 * The Accountant's very first line in the film.

"Teen #2: "You almost fucking killed me, man!" The Accountant: "Not even close. I won't see you again until you're 73." (looks over at the other guy) "You I'll see in three months." (he walks away) Teen #1: "What does that mean?!""
 * And when he is addressing the two stoners.

"Accountant: What's that? Cultist: A symbol of our pact with Lord Satan. Accountant: A pact, really? Funny -- he's never mentioned you. (looks at the Cultist's shattered legs) Accountant: Wow, those are fucked!"
 * This exchange between the Accountant and one of the cultists after the former notices the latter's pentagram tattoo: