Cerberus Daily News

Here's a social experiment:

Take a popular sci-fi series. In this example, Mass Effect.

Start up a page doing nothing but reposting the official, daily in-universe news blurbs.

Add a commentary box.

And watch the roleplayers just pour in.

That's what happened to Cerberus Daily News. A fake news site that grew into a roleplay community overnight, with its own forum, storylines, chat channel, wiki, tropes and tropers. The last one is to blame for this page's existence.

Even after BioWare announced that it would be putting its own news updates on hiatus beginning in January of 2011, save for the weeks preceding the release of the final Mass Effect 2 DLC and Mass Effect 3, CDN's members volunteered to write daily in-universe news stories of their own.

Cerberus Daily News can be found here. There's a wiki that can be found here. If you want to submit your own CDN story,here are the posting guidelines. -

"Abad Sam-mel: What the hell?! 'CDN' stands for 'Cerberus Daily News', not 'Cosmic Dating Network', damnit."
 * All ExtraNet Users Are Perverts:

" I AM BESIDE MYSELF WITH ANGER AND BEING PUNKED  I WILL DESTROY YOU HARRAD  WITH FIRE AND THINGS LIKE FIRE"
 * Amusing Alien: The vorcha. Terrifying in battle. Hilarious as pets.
 * Anyone Can Die: While players have control over their characters fates in the vast majority of threats, many characters meet their end at gunpoint. This has started hitting especially hard since the fall of Omega.
 * Apocalyptic Log: When the Reapers finally arrive, many comments in CDN reports are filled with transmissions from worlds they are attacking. Many are suddenly cut off mid-sentence.
 * Awesome but Impractical: Invoked in-universe with the Biotic lash technique used by cerberus agents. http://www.cerberusdailynews.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=7961
 * To a lesser extent, Omni-blades are also being debated as near useless in most combat situations.
 * Berserk Button: Asarilover267. Never call the Alliance oppressors around him.
 * Do not accuse any quarian on board of themselves being responsible for the situation of the quarian people. It will end badly
 * Do not call Diplomatic Immunity a politician.
 * Don't call The_Sarcastic_Salarian or his species 'drones'.
 * Do not threaten or insult Ferrus' wife. He's absurdly rich.
 * Don't bad-mouth Kirok's varren. Ever. EVER.
 * Don't bring up Proctor's past Terra Firma membership.
 * Don't call the Turian Councilor a "good" politician in front of Telos Mallenis... Seriously, don't.
 * Don't announce that you're selling slaves on the board. Everyone else will want to kill you. And about a third of the population of the board are mercs.
 * Book Ends:
 * Brick Joke: The initial appearance of both Snow Varren and the Biotic Grizzly.
 * As well as an elcor looking for the Cosimic Dating Network months after Abad referenced that site.
 * Kittens fulfills a promise he made nearly a month ago to Gatrinex.
 * Church of Happyology: The Church of Dis. Comes complete with their very own Ell Raan Zirax.
 * Coincidence Magnet: Applicable to the entire forum and the characters habits of running into each other even during mundane tasks such as grocery shopping. The characters often Lampshade it, usually by joking/theorizing that the CDN forums are actually an exercise in probablity manipulation.
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: See anything yellow in the Who Goes There storyline? You probably shouldn't trust it.
 * Combat Breakdown: "High Noon, Skyllian Verge." Begins as Showdown At High Noon, progresses into Good Old Fisticuffs, and finally breaks down all the way into non-consensual Sex Is Violence.
 * Combat Medic: Hass Ledoff, a volus doctor who fights his enemies with suit-mounted FLAMETHROWERS.
 * Comedic Sociopathy: Krogan, vorcha, plus most of the mercenaries on the board.
 * Conspiracy Theorist: Urdnot Lox.
 * Continuation: Even though the official CDN updates are scheduled to stop soon have stopped (except for two weeks before Mass Effect 3 launches), several CDN members have volunteered to create "unofficial" updates in the same vein as the official ones.
 * Cool Old Guy: Mirqurios, Goronak, Desrevni, Gorik, Aphin.
 * Kolhammer, at 61, could also qualify.
 * Cool Shades: Julmoth. Twice as cool because he's a batarian.
 * "I don't always come back from the dead, but when I do, I make sure to wear awesome shades."
 * Cool Starship: The Kahlee, the Capslaugh, the Nialla, the BHV Antigonne, the Ryujin, the Revenant, the Rosenkreuz, the Aeneas...
 * Cool vs. Awesome: Elcor vs. krogan
 * Crapsack World: The "Terminus Systems." The uncivilized half of the galaxy. One part Wild West, one part Mega Corp playground, and one part Afghanistan.
 * Cryptic Conversation: RememberTheBlitz will occasionally speak in this manner.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Vakkel versus Blasphemous Xenophage. And There Was Much Rejoicing.
 * A group of thugs calls Goronak's bluff. He wasn't bluffing.
 * Desta T'Res versus about eight of Sicues' thugs. Averted, though for the Davril/Sicues showdown.
 * An
 * Deadpan Snarker: Where to begin? The Big Quint, RememberTheBlitz, The_Sarcastic_Salarian, AI Architect, Urdnot Durg...
 * Lepantis Corvax seems to be making a bid for the throne.
 * J. Proctor, as acknowledged by AI Architect
 * Defictionalization: Technically, the whole site.
 * Most of this page's entries are about fanon material, though.
 * Dead Man Writing: Too many instances to count.
 * The most recent of which would be Desta the assassin, most likely done because her death in itself is a Noodle Incident.
 * Depraved Bisexual: The least of Abattoir's faults. Same with Diplomatic Immunity and YahgLadiesMan.
 * Damsel in Distress: Half-blood Quarian has had to be rescued by several different parties, including a vorcha uprising on the Nailla where she hid in the ducts and waited for the calvary.
 * Double Entendre: This thread is FULL of them.
 * Drinking Game: Lupine Volt attempted to create on in one thread with expected results.
 * Elseworld: Referenced by name, even; different Elseworld threads explore different scenarios.
 * Enforced Method Acting: The ending of "Dynasty Maker". The main character's player was kept in the dark as to a... certain all-important detail.

"Suri: BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD"
 * Even Evil Has Standards: Several of the "evil" characters, such as Penumbra and RememberTheBlitz.
 * Not so much with space rapist extraordinaire, Abattoir.
 * Despite Cerberus using the pro-human Terra Firma party as a political front, the majority of the humans on the board despise TF and all it stands for,
 * This is actually inverted shockingly, as quite a few TF members are level-headed, kind, and decent people save for a an extremely Vocal Minority like we see in the games.
 * Counterexample: SuriNeyvi.
 * Some_Random_Merc will not smuggle Red Sand. PERIOD.
 * After Discord massacred an entire colony just to get at Gorik, Arbitrary and her Reavers joined Gorik's army to kill Discord.
 * Everything's Worse with Bears: Biotic grizzly
 * Expy: Asharia is based off of a certain blood-spatter analyst.
 * Suri'Neyvi appears to be heavily influenced by Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
 * HEROD is like a male SHODAN...or GLaDOS.
 * Some_Random_Merc is basically CDN's own Merc With A Mouth.
 * In a variant, the characters have also mentioned various cultural analogues: Top Core, Justicars of the Asari Republics, Dirk Black, Extrapedia, HV Tropes System's Alliance Navy ...
 * Extranet Counterattack: Taken to an extreme with Operation Down With Discord. Discori made some postings offering to sell slaves. An army of mercenaries launched a coordinated attack on his base.
 * Oh fuck, the extranet is here.
 * Eye Scream: Desta T'Res loses her left eye during Operation Down With Discord.
 * Fail O'Suckyname: Apostate Hanar's previous ship was called the Peanut Butter.
 * Fantastic Racism: RememberTheBlitz really hates batarians. Urdnot Durg seems to really hate turians, but being a krogan, that's par for the course.
 * Everyone despises vorcha as a rule.
 * Newcomer Captain Dharma seems to be quite wary of Asari... check out his signature.
 * Newcomer We_Standalone/Job Martins has a fear for anything not human, but gets better as time goes on.
 * "Faux To" Guide: The "Serious Life Coach Column" should totally be taken at face value and obeyed to the letter. No, really. No flippancy or satire goes anywhere near those posts, honest!
 * Field Promotion: SvChief Jaquento Schmidt got one to GyChief after his unorthodox idea saved the Teutoburg Forrest from being destroyed by crashing into a planet. For another one (to OpChief) see Kicked Upstairs.
 * Likewise for GyChief Tritt, who got his current rank after ending a hostage crisis with no civilian loss of life. Unfortunately, he's now stuck as company logistics NCO
 * Fridge Horror:
 * So, the Alliance Towers Military Moonshiner uses keeper-food as carbohydrate source? The keepers are known for throwing dead people in their food supply, regarding them as organic waste.
 * See the entry for Nightmare Fuel below.
 * Gambit Pileup: This happened when Varril was imprisoned and several different complicated plans were hatched to rescue him, but most of the disorganized confusion you'd usually expect is averted, as Varril gets out in the end.
 * Genki Girl: Grackel and Naaya.
 * Happily Bonded: Isaac (Asarilover267) and Dellia.
 * Harrad_01 and his partner Cour
 * Desert Paintbrush and Constable-Teiloc, both drell.
 * Maximilian van der Trask (Ferrus) and his wife, Reena.
 * Mairta and her bondmate, Leah.
 * Alexis Thorpe/Protect_and_Serve and her bondmate Leana D'Vashi/Paramedic Blues.
 * Ham-to-Ham Combat: The epicness that is this.
 * Has Two Mommies: Some_Random_Merc
 * Laelix, Harrad and Cour's adoptive son, has two daddies.
 * Kolya (Human Quarian). Technically it was one dad and one Honorary Uncle and it was only for four years of his life but it still counts.
 * Head-Tiltingly Kinky: Happens with disturbing regularity. One of the more recent occasions, where in Suri'Neyvi posts a disturbingly sexual image, and much of the forumites have this reaction.
 * Heroic BSOD: TSS/Abattoir fanfiction is leaked. To everyone. TSS doesn't take it well.
 * Heroic Sacrifice: By one of the villains, no less.
 * Hideous Hangover Cure: Goronak's concoction. Whatever it is, it tastes awful, but works.
 * Holier Than Thou:
 * Kel'Jaroth may not be religious, but he preaches at everybody.
 * Same with John Galt.
 * Hooked Up Afterwards: Kel'Jaroth and Kiae'Era, after Kel helped save Kiae'Era's settlement and discovering they have a lot in common.
 * Hurricane of Puns: This thread.
 * I Call It Vera: Quint's FMBLA and Aphin's Fishjolnir. The former is a gun that shoots spent heat sinks at their opponents. The latter is a three foot-long rubber fish on a handle. And don't forget Lode's crowbar, which he named Gordon.
 * I Just Want to Be Normal: Asharia was reluctant to establish a close relationship because of her "condition". However, that changed when she hooked up with Son_of_Orion. In an attempt to curb her impulses, she started visiting Ana'Therion vas Nedas.
 * Ironic Nursery Tune: Robin Goodfellow speaks almost exclusively in them.
 * Jerkass: RememberTheBlitz, AI Architect, Urdnot Durg, Dr. Domicilia, Steel Unifier, Terrorbyte, Infra Struct, Corona... It's sometimes shorter just to list those who don't come under this.
 * Just Think of the Potential: RememberTheBlitz uses this argument to justify his work with Cerberus.
 * Keet: Thalyr'ra nar Thunderchild.
 * Kicked Upstairs: (For lack of a better trope.) When Jaquento Schmidt accepted a position at the Alliance Tower on the Citadel, he was promoted for formal reasons only, giving him rank superiority over his coworkers and a bigger pay check.
 * Same for Gunny Tritt, whose new rank came with the billet of company gunny, placing him in charge of logistics and training, and taking him off the line. He's doing his best to get put back on the line, though.
 * Killer Rabbit: An expedition to an uncharted planet yielded the discovery of small blue lizards with biotic powers, though they seemed pretty harmless..
 * Knowledge Broker: Digital Dragon is starting a business in this field as well.
 * Lady of War: Talyra Kerun, the female turian duelist.
 * Large Ham: SNOW VARREN SPEAKS IN GREEN, BOLD, ALL-CAPS SENTENCES, WITH NO CONCEPT OF FIRST-PERSON SINGULAR.
 * ALSO Jon Briggs, respectable BUSINESSMAN, whose BOMBASTIC and RANDOMLY CAPITALIZED speeches remind one of Peterman, a bit.
 * Algar has also tasted of the ham and found it sweet. Not only does he prone to ranting as loudly as possible, he follows so many villain tropes he might as well get a union card for Bond Villains R Us.
 * Rakho Shoval, the abolitionist batarian preacher. "Be strong, for DELIVERANCE is at hand!"
 * Law Enforcement, Inc.: The Omega-based organisation AEGIS walk the line between this and mercenaries
 * Les Yay: Between Arla'Neeri and Suri'Neyvi.
 * Let's Play: An in-universe example: Asharia plays X-COM.
 * Some_Random_Merc is an AVID Alliance Corsair player.
 * Loads and Loads of Characters
 * Love Triangle: Formerly one between Digital Dragon and Vox, who were both after AI Architect.
 * Made a Slave: Nearly happened to Aragem23.
 * Present in the backstories of Seta'Rann, Abattoir, Altanese, and White Widow.
 * Madness Mantra:

"Silas: I don't know, but something about Varana seems a little...off. Varana: Mercy is for the weak! Silas: If I could just put my finger on it..."
 * Mad Scientist: Legitimate_Human_Merchant, or LHM, creator of the biotic grizzly bear and more than one Wave Motion Gun. Augment/Algar was also revealed to be this.
 * Linya (Scientific Pursuits) subverts this, being a researcher who just happens to be an industrial-strength Cloudcuckoolander and Genki Girl.
 * Mass "Oh Crap": A number of influential Omega underworld characters hold a meeting to discuss uniting to take over the Embodiment's territory after Abattoir retired. Abattoir decided to turn up as well.
 * Also the nature of the main feed regarding the last few days up to the Mass Effect 3 launch.
 * Diplomatic Immunity, one of the first to respond to the "We are experiencing technical difficulties" error on the Alliance News Network feed, commented "I need to make some phone calls....."
 * And the forum itself now that the Reaper invasion has begun in the forums.
 * Mean Brit: Wolfgang. Or at least, incredibly acerbic and sarcastic Brit.
 * MS Ting A fictional James Bond IN SPACE is ripped apart here.
 * Mugging The Separatist Survivalist: Sylvion meets Sicaria.
 * My Master, Right or Wrong: The indentured servants that belong to Johnny/Some_Random_Merc. Goddess knows that he has done some unpleasant thing, but they stick by him, despite their contracts.
 * My Species Doth Protest Too Much: A significant number of characters behaves in ways you wouldn't expect from their species. Given this is Mass Effect, it's only to be expected.
 * Most notably with three batarians on the board: despite being commonly viewed as slavers and criminals, Goronak, Julmoth, and Zerak are quite nice guys. The latter is also a batarian abolitionist of sorts.
 * Averted with three batarian slavers: Abad Sam-mel, Kalla, and Malak.
 * And there's, who is probably the most intelligent and polite   out there.
 * Mythology Gag: All day, every day.
 * Never Found the Body:
 * Julmoth's back. *crosses arms* DEAL WITH IT.
 * Justicar Velinara, as well.
 * Nightmare Fuel: The Who Goes There storyline. A sentient parasite Hive Mind that can take over anyone with no outward sign of control? An unknowable entity with its own alien agenda? A charity network that goes around infecting new people under the guise of collecting blood? Yeah, that counts.
 * No Celebrities Were Harmed: Lady Sweat.
 * Noodle Incident: Laid-back quarian Tomaz still hasn't given the full details of the event that ended his Pilgrimage, other than it involved combat drones, gunships, and playing Die Walkuerenritt at max volume.
 * The incident on the Citadel with Thalyr'ra and the baby he allegedly stole became this when multiple people became involved and the thing devolved into a complicated, albeit hilarious, mess.
 * Gunny Tritt apparently had his ship boarded by a merc team led by a Krogan battlemaster. He refuses to elaborate.
 * No Social Skills: Twisted Logic, whose species, the Raloi, joined Citadel space. Grackel, the other Raloi, is this crossed with Genki Girl.
 * Not-So-Harmless Villain: One Classy Bloke - ha ha, it's a volus in a top hat with a cane! Funny, right? Well,
 * Obviously Evil:

"Son_of_Orion: ashria/sick/tuhaka's deligt/zakra ward/hlep"
 * Oh Crap: When the official news feed restarted in preparation for the release of Mass Effect 3, the boards picked up with speculation, conspiracy theories, etc. Then came the last report that contact with Earth had been lost. Cue total panic.
 * Nir'Konna has one when she realizes that Dippy hates being called a Politician. See for yourself
 * When the Alliance Eighth Fleet is ambushed at Ontarom by the Reapers, they take a few hits, but so far they're holding their ground.
 * One Steve Limit: Completely averted. Not only are there now two forum users who go by "Quint," but there is a recurring joke involving every other batarian being named "Goronak."
 * Only Known by Their Nickname: Modem's (assumed) name is Sarah. The only person who actually calls her this is her handler, Tracer T.
 * Sylvion intentionally keeps tight control over who knows his real name. At present, only three living people other than him know what it is.
 * Only Sane Man: Master Gunnery Sergeant Brandis plays this to the crew of the Nialla.
 * Overprotective Dad: Desrevni, who threatened Procul His with all sorts of damage, should he get into a relationship with his daughter, an Alliance Marine.
 * And was even a bit miffed when they didn't get together.
 * Painting the Fourth Wall: The 'Cerberus Log Reports' are essentially just the characters' bios, disguised as info files compiled by Cerberus on the subjects.
 * Play-By-Post Games: Notable in that it wasn't, originally.
 * Practical Joke:
 * Aphin/The_Sarcastic_Salarian claims to be the king of them, despite being taken down several pegs by Hok in the past.
 * Resident psychopath Abattoir got into a prank war with the above-mentioned Aphin. Naturally, hilarity ensued.
 * Private Military Contractors: About a third of the cast are mercenaries.
 * Psycho for Hire: At first, you'd think this was Abattoir. But, then, if you think so, you haven't met Sanguine and Robin Goodfellow.
 * Punch Clock Villain: Penumbra's not exactly an upstanding moral citizen, but comes off both pleasant and reasonable, and compared to some of her associates she seems like a regular paragon.
 * Really Gets Around: Both Abattoir and Diplomatic Immunity, despite both of their rather fearsome reputations.
 * Redshirt Army: Played in the background by many players, but also the chief forte of the "Mook Squad" account.
 * Remember When You Threw An Alliance Cruiser Into The Sun
 * Retcon: Julmoth's appearance/avatar. Started with the pre-Bring Down the Sky codex image, later changed to a Blue Suns merc, currently sporting a double aviators look.
 * Retired Badass: Ex-wrestler banker, ex-special forces cop, ex-mercenary ship repairman, ex-military mechanic...
 * Rock Beats Laser: Sling Beats Drone.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: Orion suffers from this in "So a krogan walks into a bar..." when he attempts to contact Asharia via text after drinking two shots of batarian ale and eating krogan food.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: Orion suffers from this in "So a krogan walks into a bar..." when he attempts to contact Asharia via text after drinking two shots of batarian ale and eating krogan food.

"Procul His: Cerberus science program goes horribly awry. Or as the rest of us call it, Friday."
 * Rule of Cool: How most stories are played.
 * Running Gag: Diplomatic Immunity has a habit of inviting each new member over for a [redacted]. In response, several other members warn the newbies to "watch out for Dippy."
 * One of Cerberus' projects going horribly wrong. Lampshaded in the most recent case (in character, even!) by Procul His, here.

"Sklikos Gamic: [...] ...The Truth of how the alien corrupters corrupted the Hierarchy with their corrupting Alienenss and how they control our glorious corrupted Hierarchy with alien corruption."
 * Scary Dogmatic Aliens: The Batarian Hegemony. One part antebellum slaveowners, one part goose stepping nazi, one part paranoid propaganda-spewing communist. Serve chilled.
 * Screw the Rules, I Have Money: Ferrus even states that he does this.
 * Looks like he now has a rival in this matter with Jon Briggs.
 * Serial Killer Killer: Asharia.
 * Shaped Like Itself:

" (to ) But before you make a further move, you should know that if you draw your weapon anyways, you will be drawing on the mother of your child."
 * She Is Not This One's Girlfriend And It Will Sodomize Your Eye Socket If You Say So One More Goddamned Time: Observe.
 * Shown Their Work: A lot of the foreign languages displayed are exact thanks to the forums members' multicultural origins.
 * Having several Latin Majors, a Greek, German, and three Finns helps with that.
 * On another note; the display of Alliance Military procedure is very accurate thanks to more than one member of a military background/is attending military school. And a back breaking amount of work was done simply fleshing out the Separatist/Loyalist conflicts only alluded to in Mass Effect 1's codex and the daily CDN reports as well as asari and quarian culture. Shame it'll probably be made non-canon come Mass Effect 3 though.
 * Summon Bigger Fish: In 'The Lost World' chapter 3; first invoked, then used fully.
 * Sweet Polly Oliver:
 * Take That: The Life Egregious is full of them against some of the odder character choices.
 * Take Your Time: By player consensus, CDN takes place between the first set of Mass Effect 2's recruitment missions and the attack on Horizon... events which, in the game, happen immediately after one another.
 * That Makes Me Feel Angry: Any of the elcor participants, obviously.
 * The Baby Trap: Apparently attempted on Penumbra by another asari. Cynical Bastard was the result. It's rather obvious how well that plan turned out.
 * The Engineer: Ilara'Tam nar Selani. Arguably, any of the other quarians on the board as well.
 * Except Kela'Vanu nar Macedyn, the turian military drill instructor for whom this assumption seems to be a Berserk Button Button.
 * Son_of_Orion served in the Alliance as a combat engineer. Now he's putting his skills to good use in the Paladins.
 * Half-Blood Quarian is still this, despite being shoved to a piloting position by the induction of Ilara.
 * Theme Naming: The elite Hammer operatives of the Paladin organization use callsigns named after medieval equipment. Allard Kyarlen is Helm, Jurea Foron is Dagger, Kiral Ohurdrat is Mace, Paroc Didonas is Sword, and Everett Maliszewski (Son_of_Orion) is Anvil.
 * Embodiment's three frigates are Rosenkreuz, Dunkelheit, and Eisenfaust.
 * Procul His' team uses the Eastern Zodiac signs as their codenames on missions.
 * The Not-Secret: Inconspicuous Organic is clearly a robust human specimen, NOT a form of synthetic intelligence.
 * Abattoir and Velinara's "engagement" was this for a while until it became an open secret.
 * The Shrink: Savat_Savant (A.K.A. Savat Theko), a psychiatrist who's currently providing the board with his notes on treatment of a particularly difficult patient.
 * Third Person Person: Twisted Logic, the raloi.
 * Dreket does this as well.
 * Took a Level In Badass: Ilara'Tam nar Selani
 * All The Tropes as a Gateway Drug: A surprising number of new users found the site through this page.
 * Undying Loyalty: Kyesh, towards Naaya, for whatever reason.
 * Unresolved Sexual Tension: Arguably, between Hok Ginnde and The Sarcastic Salarian
 * Suri'Neyvi and Tomaz'Schadl, she wants him dead, and he keeps insisting that he isn't interested in spite of her never offering.
 * Unusual Euphemism: Shrell!
 * Unwanted Harem: The Jerkass AIArchitect attracts some fangirls, but doesn't want to get involved with any of both.
 * Wacky Cravings: WILL get her peanut brittle.
 * Well-Intentioned Extremist: RememberTheBlitz claims to be this.
 * Wham! Episode: May 1st, 2012 (2186 in-universe), when the Reaper invasion began in the forums.
 * Wham! Line:
 * Wham! Line:

"Long live the Hegemony."
 * Also:


 * What Did I Do Last Night?: Julmoth lost two weeks due to some really strong drugs and ended up on Earth with a bunch of human junkies and a volus prostitute.
 * Asharia, Urdnot Nutanx, and Elara T'Meyra found themselves in a Tasbin-fueled threesome, with... violent results to Ash's apartment.
 * Juhani at Diplomatic_Immunity's penthouse after the party. Went there to say hi, ended up taking part in an orgy with krogans, turians, Dippy and one asari, while drunk.
 * What You Are in the Dark: The Chresk threads are a near perfect example on this, as you'll never know who will actually bet on the slaves being forced to fight to gain freedom until they do so.
 * Where Everybody Knows Your Flame: Zig Zagged Trope and Parodied Trope with The Palace, the most popular gay bar on Tayseri Ward. It features the requisite annoying electropop and some of the sexual depravity. However, it also has bouncers to prevent things from getting out of hand, as well as a variety of theme nights like Elcor Beat Poetry Night where the stereotypical music stops playing.
 * Wrench Wench: Kim (Digital Dragon) is one part this, and one part Playful Hacker.
 * You Have to Have Jews: Asarilover267, and apparently Gunny Tritt.
 * Rasbai is a rabbi.
 * You No Take Candle: Skarch the vorcha's occasional posts; overlaps with Rouge Angles of Satin.
 * Dreket, Abad's vorcha sidekick, does this as well.
 * Dit, too. The Nialla vorcha Fero is exceptional in that he appears to avert this, but it took months of training.