Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory/Funny

"Mrs. Gloop: Don't just stand there! Do something! Wonka: Help. Police. Murder."
 * "I am now telling the computer EXACTLY what it can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate!"
 * "Hey I don't like the look of that tunnel up there! Hey Wonka, I want off!" "ROUND the world and home again! THAT'S the sailor's way!"
 * Any of the literary references or deadpan snarking. "Help. Police. Murder."
 * "It's your husband's life for your case of Wonka bars." "How long do I have to decide?"
 * "My chocolate! My beautiful chocolate!"

""Where is fancy bred... In the heart or in the head?" "We are the music-makers..." it's not from Shakespeare, but it's still great. "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker" isn't by Shakespeare either, but it's really funny anyway."
 * I like the look on Grandpa Joe's face when Wonka said that.
 * You gotta love Wonka's funny Shakespeareian quotes. The best part is, they were just added for the fun of it!
 * The lines are the following quotations:

"Willy Wonka: "She was a bad egg.""
 * Mr. Gloop taking a bite out of a microphone.
 * After Veruca falls down the shaft.

"Wonka: You can't get out backwards. You gotta go forwards to go back. Trust me. Charlie: Hey, the room is getting smaller! Mrs. Teevee: No it's not, he's getting bigger! Veruca's dad: He's at it again. Violet: Where's the chocolate? Grandpa Joe: I doubt there is any chocolate. Veruca's dad: I doubt any of us are gonna get out of here alive."
 * "What is this, Wonka, some kind of funhouse?" "Why, having fun?"

"Teacher: Well, I can't figure out just two! So let's pretend you opened 200! Now, if you opened 200 Wonka bars, apart from being dreadfully sick, you would have used up 20% of the 1000 Wonka bars, which is 15% half over again, 10%..."
 * "Stop squawking, you twit!"
 * "I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we've learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest."
 * Pretty much everything the teacher says, really. Ahem:

"Veruca: He's absolutly bonkers. Charlie: And that's not bad."
 * "Of course you don't know. You don't know because only I know. If you knew and I didn't know then you would be teaching me instead of me teaching you. And for a student to teach his teacher is presumptuous and rude, do I make myself clear?"
 * "The suspense is terrible! (beat) I hope it will last" always makes me giggle.
 * The look on Wonka's face when he says that helps.
 * Personally, I love this exchange.

"Charlie: (about Veruca) Why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka, Grandpa? Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit.'''"
 * This exchange between Charlie and Grandpa Joe:


 * In the audio commentary, one of the actors goes to some effort to draw attention to this Brick Joke that no one ever seems to notice (Violet calls Veruca a nit and a twit before Joe calls her a nitwit), only to completely miss the punchline.
 * "Daddy, I do not want a boat like this!"
 * The whole blending room scene prior to the Gobstoppers scene can be considered a Hurricane of Puns.
 * "What is this, a Freak-Out?"
 * "Let me in! I'm starving!"
 * "Violet! Y-you're turning violet, Violet!" Which makes sense as she was in the process of becoming a blueberry at the time.