Must Have Caffeine/Quotes

"Luigi: Someone's gonna hang if I don't get my COFFEE! Assistant: Decaf sir? Luigi: I WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!!!"

- Repo! The Genetic Opera

"More coffee for me, boss 'Cause I'm not as messed up as I want to be"

- They Might Be Giants, "Hearing Aid"

"Pour bien commencer ma petite journée et me réveiller moi, j'ai pris un café

[For a good start To my little day And to get me up I had a coffee]"

- "Le Café by Oldelaf" (linked to video with subs)

"Lorelai: I already had the longest day of my life and oh look, it's only 10! How nice! Luke: There's no coffee. Lorelai: That's not funny. Luke: I can get you herbal tea. Lorelai: This is not a herbal tea morning, this is a coffee morning. Luke: Every morning for you is a coffee morning. Lorelai: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V. Luke: I can give you tea and a balance bar. Lorelai: Please, please, please, tell me you're kidding! Luke: I'm kidding. [goes to get the coffee] Lorelai: You're sick! Luke: Yup Lorelai: You're a sadist, you're a fiend! [Luke comes out with the pot of coffee] You're pretty!"

- Gilmore Girls, episode two

"Lane: [referring to coffee given to Lorelai at the diner] I made it extra strong. It should blacken your teeth and rot your stomach. Lorelai: Bless you."

- Gilmore Girls, season 5 episode 2

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."

- Popular Usenet Sig

""Here's a triple-shot in the dark. If that doesn't wake you up, you've been dead for a week.""

- Dora Bianchi (owner of Coffee of Doom) Questionable Content

"''If I can't take my coffee break my coffee break my coffee break If I can't take my coffee break Something within me dies."

- "Coffee Break", How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying

"I'm trying to cut down on my caffeine consumption So when I get up I just have one cup of coffee And I'd like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast And on the way to work I like to get a cup of coffee I like the kind of cup of coffee you get with your donuts But I never get the donut I just have the cup of coffee And when I get to work I have a cup of coffee 'Cause I like a cup of coffee when I'm talking on the phone But it usually gets cold and I need to get another cup of coffee And its lunch and I have an espresso~"

- Jim's Big Ego, "Stress"

""One day I realised that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.""

- Wally, Dilbert

"Eastwood: "Why do I drink coffee?" Lothar: "Hm? What d'ya mean?" Eastwood: "It's bad for me, it smells horrible, and tastes worse..." Lothar: "Well, if you feel that way about it, just lemme take this cup and-" Eastwood: "AND IF YOU TRY TO TAKE IT FROM ME I WILL BREAK YOUR ARM." Lothar: "kay...""

- Exterminatus Now

"Lieschen: Ei! wie schmeckt der Coffee süße,, Lieblicher als tausend Küsse, Milder als Muskatenwein. Coffee, Coffee muß ich haben, Und wenn jemand mich will laben, Ach, so schenkt mir Coffee ein!

[Mm! how sweet the coffee tastes, More delicious than a thousand kisses, Mellower than muscatel wine. Coffee, coffee I must have, And if someone wishes to give me a treat, Ah, then pour me out some coffee!]"

- Johann Sebastian Bach, Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht (a.k.a. "The Coffee Cantata")

""''Blacker than moonless night Hotter and more bitter than Hell... That is coffee.''""

- Godot (quoting some French philosopher), Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

""The Navy could probably win a war without coffee but it wouldn't like to try.""

- Samuel Eliot Morrison, Naval historian

""A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.""

- Paul Erdős, attributed.

"Amy: Coffee is rocket fuel for your mind, Shauna. It's very good for you. Shauna: Don't most rockets explode?"

- Bad Machinery, July 29, 2011

""How do you take your coffee?" "Often.""

- Andrew Hussie

"Luke: Want some coffee? Lorelai: I'm beyond coffee. Luke: Beyond coffee. This is big."

- Gilmore Girls, season 6 episode 6

"These days it comes in pills, it comes in little cans, Next it'll be suppositories, sounds like a plan. But I like to make my coffee, like to brew it up and chug, And kid myself it's still a drink and not just a drug."

- Mitch Benn, "Caffeine"

"Admiral Chu: Unnghh... the steward who makes the good coffee is still asleep. Admiral Devereaux: I'll... jump straight to the summary? Admiral Chu: This cup from my adjutant is full of something that tastes like caffeine lost a knife-fight to the color brown."

- Schlock Mercenary, November 17, 2016 "Admiral Devereaux: I take my briefings like I take my coffee: no cream, no sugar, no water. Kevin-2: That sounds joyless. Admiral Devereaux: I don't need joy. Just a big bag of something bitter to chew on."

- Schlock Mercenary, August 26, 2018

""Son, your life is in danger, because you are between me and the coffee pot.""

- U.S. Army officer to a young soldier, early morning in the early 1980s