Ninja Cheerleaders

Cheerleaders go up against the mob. No, really.

April, Monica and Courtney are three intelligent high-school girls who have intentions of going to Brown. They are also ninjas who work for the kindly old sensei Hiroshi. They moonlight as Go-Go dancers in Hiroshi's own club. Yeah.

The bad guy is one Victor Lazarro, a mobster who has just recently been paroled. See, Hiroshi bought the strip club from the IRS, who took it from Lazarro when he was convicted, and now he wants it back. To that end, he hires his girlfriend Kinji, a "dark ninja", to dispose of the three ninja cheerleaders and ensure that the deed to the club is signed over to him.

Also in the mix is Detective Harris, a detective investigating (presumably) the disturbance that opens the movie.


 * Abusive Parents: Courtney's stepfather Al.
 * Action Girl: Our protagonists fit this.
 * Avoid the Dreaded G Rating: A very bizarre example, in that while there's violence and the main characters work as go-go dancers, there's no sex or cussing, so the IdiosyncraticWipes were added, as well as a scene with naked women.
 * Badass: Hiroshi. He's so badass that he can incapacitate you without touching you.
 * Badass Bookworm: The girls, although Manny may also count. All four of them are shown to argue about how great Napoleon really was.
 * The Cheerleader: Well, duh.
 * Dark Action Girl: Kinji
 * The Ditz: Monica.
 * Dirty Old Man: Red, the girls' coach. He's cute, in a "lock-your-doors, mace-in-hand, don't-be-alone-with-him" kind of way, and while none of the girls do anything to him, he gets slammed into a locker anyway.
 * Does Not Like Men: Implied with April. The only men she interacts with that don't die, get injured or cop it where it hurts are Det. Harris (who's only shown interacting with them in a professional capacity), Red (hurt by someone else), Hiroshi (their sensei), Manny (an intelligent bouncer) and Victor Lazarro (the baddie). Her Groin Attack is a supremely painful one, and she makes disparaging remarks about Courtney's stepfather.
 * Fight Scene Failure: The three cheerleaders are all useless at swordfighting. Justified, because all the training we see involves unarmed combat. Unfortunately, George Takei isn't much better, so Sword Sparks were added in.
 * Framing Device: The movie is shown to us as the three cheerleaders' statement to the police.
 * Genius Bruiser: Manny could be construed as such: his first scene involves him arguing about whether or not Alexander was better than Napoleon.
 * Hey, It's That Guy!: He's gone from being a helmsman to training ninjas. Also, Trishelle Canatella from The Real World is Courtney and Michael Paré is Victor Lazarro.
 * Highly-Visible Ninja: Kinji is the only ninja who averts this.
 * Idiosyncratic Wipe: The wipes are all montages that include one of the main characters, a ninja and a stripper dancing topless.
 * It Works Better with Bullets: The bolt gun.
 * Ivy League for Everyone
 * Karma Houdini: Al again. Courtney refuses to harm him.
 * Les Yay: April seems to have a crush on Monica. This is most obvious in the bedroom scene.
 * Martial Arts Do Not Work That Way: As one unfortunate orange-belt finds out.
 * No Name Given: Aside from Victor and Jimmy "The Snitch" Lazarro, nobody else has a full name revealed.
 * Obfuscating Stupidity: The three put on a "ditz" act to try to deter Det. Harris.
 * Sequel Hook: In The Stinger
 * Stealth Hi Bye
 * Sword Sparks
 * Third Person Person: Kinji, when explaining how fast Kinji is.
 * What Happened to the Mouse?: Jimmy disappears from the movie after being stuffed into the trunk.)