Princess Celestia Hates Tea



A MLP:FiM  Fanfic by Skywriter, centered around Celestia and run on pure hilarity.

For thousands of years, Celestia was thought to be inseperable from her tea. For thousands of years, Celestia's loving subjects showered her with gifts of tea pots, exotic tea flavors, and tea parties. For a thousand years, Celestia put on a smile for her subjects.

But the truth is, Celestia hates tea. She's hated it since day one. And when her faithful student Twilight Sparkle returns from an ambassadorial mission with a preset of a new tea flavor, Celestia decides to come clean with her millenia-old secret. What's the worst that can happen?

Can be found here.


 * Beware the Nice Ones:
 * The Chains of Commanding:
 * Completely Missing the Point: After Celestia proves to Twilight that she is the real Celestia and she doesn't like tea,
 * Downer Ending:
 * Easily Forgiven: True to her character, Celestia forgives Twilight for throwing wild accusations that got herself blasted by magic and assaulted by her own guards.
 * Humiliation Conga: By the simple act of confessing she doesn't like tea, Celestia turns Twilight, the other Elements of Harmony, her own royal guards, her sister against her, and sends her nation into a state of uproar.
 * Masquerade: Celestia hates tea, while the whole world believes it to be her favorite drink. And nopony will believe otherwise.
 * Broken Masquerade: And who knew not liking tea would cause such an uproar?
 * Mind Rape: Played for Laughs,
 * Physical God:
 * Rule of Funny: Why is such a big deal made over the fact that Celestia doesn't like tea? How is Twilight's paranoid ramblings able to turn Celestia's own guards against her? How come nopony can cast a simple identification spell? Because it'd be funnier otherwise, of course.
 * Serious Business: Tea. There are enough ponies with tea-related Cutie Marks to pack the palace audience hall tighter than a can of sardines.
 * Snowball Lie: It's mind-boggling to consider how much of Equestria's political stability hinges around people thinking Celestia enjoys drinking tea. And it all started with a little white lie to spare a well-meaning Luna's feelings.
 * Trademark Favorite Food: Deconstructed for laughs. Everyone in Equestria and beyond adamantly believes tea is Celestia's favorite beverage. When she tries to come clean and admits that she actually hates the stuff, her subjects refuse to believe it and accuse her of being the Changeling Queen or being Discorded.
 * Twitchy Eye: Celestia develops one
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous? - Type 4: Celestia doesn't like tea! She must be the Changeling Queen!
 * Wrong Genre Savvy: Celestia is acting out-of-character (or so Twilight thinks) by confessing she hates her favorite beverage, and so assumes the Changeling Queen has taken her place.
 * The Royal Guard is quick to turn on Celestia, because they learned their lesson the last time they ignored Twilight's warnings.