Protectors of the Plot Continuum/Funny

""It was night-time. The birds were asleep. The stars shone black in the sky. Under regular circumstances, 'stars shining black' would have been impossible; however, in this world, anything could happen." "erthstrype loked up at Psilophyta. 'd00d u safed me!111' He said.""
 * "They needed to be hosed down." (A humorous joke by indemaat.)
 * Stormsong and Skyfire tend to get caught up in these, both the Gay Weasel Sketch, and "Why is it glittery?!". The "Rape Jar", also. (Links NSFB.)
 * Jay and Acacia leaving a Sue to die in the video for Ich Will.
 * "Don't ask questions, just grab that penis!" (Not safe for work or sanity.)
 * The Stylistic Suck in Rena and Shay's missions, which, to comply with fanfiction.net rules, weren't "found" badfic, but were written by Rena and Shay's author.

""Uh, when the hell did that happen?" Leigh pointed at the naval ship that had just appeared next to the Pearl. "And why is it tied to us?" Jira shrugged and ducked as an English cleric flew over her head. "Because the author doesn't know the difference between Loose and Lose, nor does she know Canon from Cannon.""
 * One particularly dreadful Pirates of the Caribbean 'fic had a character declare that a dress "makes me look a thinner." The effect of these Exact Words on the story led to a burst of hysterical laughter from the agents present and what is probably the only charge of "causing a chemical solution to wear clothes" in the history of the PPC.
 * Ten words: "My name is Salina Rose, and I AM A PIRATATE!" Also:

"Kestrel:One false move from yew, sir, one word outta yore mouth wot I don’t like, an’ I’ll cockblock yer by kickin’ it til ye ‘ave a falsetto wot’d make Justin Bieber jealous. Any questions, dearie? Murdoc: Erk."
 * In "Gorillaz In The MST", Agent Kestrel threatens Murdoc Niccals if he does anything wrong like so:

""Anyway, you are charged with deliberately poor writing, wanton cruelty to punctuation, violation of the laws of physics, violating the laws of chemistry, violating the laws of biology, being ridiculously over-powered, misusing Hammerspace, creating minis, abuse of the word ‘chopper,’ annoying PPC agents, and being an abomination against nature due to being a sandwich that walks like a man. [...] Nameless bit character," Laura said to the trembling woman. "You are charged with being a nameless bit character, for aiding and abetting a Stu, and for having a grasp of reality so thin that you have no problem with a giant sandwich.""
 * Sandwich!Stu in With A Side of Chips and a Soda.

"Nume:[Charging the Stu]...Opening the Doors of Durin, causing Frodo to sprout a fro, causing unspeakable things to happen in Moria, ...Yup. Ahem, I know damn well I'm leaving charges out, but those are the important ones.
 * Ring Child, which has the misspelling 'a hord was blown'. There happened to be a very large number of goblins nearby at the time.
 * Later:

Suicide: You forgot "mass goblin sex".

Nume: I said "unspeakable things in Moria". Unspeakable, as in should not be spoken of ever again."

"Mordecai (hanging onto the top of a car): Why didn't we use the Remote Activator?!
 * The ending of the mission where Redd and Jill take on one of the horrors perpetrated by Ultamite Nineball, in which Jack and the Death of Rats argue over the soul of God Mode Stu Zain. "Sister Vanity will like him a lot."
 * Any time Kirill and Zug are on a mission.
 * Agents Maria, Mark, Cadmar and Miah going on a trip around Europe.
 * The discussion of what to do with Snoofles of Forbiden Fruit the Tempation of Edward Cullen: "Well, we can't exactly kill it, can we? Wouldn't be very politically correct. Besides, it's a panda that actually wants to have sex. Which is more than most actual pandas can say right now."

Jack the Hunter (same predicament): You're the one with a functioning psyche!"


 * "Great. The world is ending, reality is falling apart, but don’t worry because I have a rubber chicken that will make it all better. Thank you very much."
 * Funnily enough, it does.


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