King's Quest II

King's Quest II: Romancing the Throne is the second game in the King's Quest Adventure Game series. Graham, now king of Daventry, sees a beautiful maiden in his Magic Mirror and resolves to rescue her. He travels to the land of Kolyma, where he must find three keys and defeat a wicked witch, help King Neptune, and kill Count Dracula before he can reach the island Valanice is trapped on.

The game is generally considered one of the lower points in the series, with its flat storyline, frustrating puzzles, and confusing setting. A fan-made remake, "Romancing the Stones," was released by AGD Interactive, fleshing out the story and improving puzzles; you can download it for free here.

"Anyone who would kill a man of the cloth doesn't deserve to play this game. Therefore, we will end it."
 * Benevolent Genie
 * Black Cloak: Hagatha.
 * Easter Egg: Many, but the most famous is a plug for Space Quest. The parser also accepts some raunchy input for those who are inclined.
 * Another notable one is the batmobile.
 * In the fan remake, this Easter Egg is replaced with one for AGD's remake of Quest for Glory II: Trial by Fire. There's also a famous Easter Egg that involves a certain owl...
 * Excuse Plot: Much like in KQI, there are very few plot elements. The game plays more like a loose collection of unrelated puzzles. The Fan Remake has a more coherent plotline.
 * Once again, All There in the Manual.
 * Fan Remake: "King's Quest II +: Romancing the Stones," which fleshes out the story and beefs up puzzles.
 * Fantasy Kitchen Sink: Probably the most bizarre combination of story elements, in a series obsessed with the trope-- the game mixes together Dracula, Pegasus, Little Red Riding Hood, King Neptune, genies, flying carpets, a modern-day antique store, a church, witches and fairies in your standard fantasy setting.
 * The fan remake fleshes out the story in an attempt to make these elements fit together better.
 * Far Side Island: Some perfect examples (minus the weird colors) appear in the background to the side of the island with the crystal tower.
 * The Ferry Man: You have to trick him in the original to get to Dracula's castle. In the Fan Remake
 * Word of Dante has him as either The Grim Reaper or Charon.
 * Genie in A Bottle: You get one from the Antiques Store; rubbing it gets you a flying carpet, a sword, and a bridle.
 * Averted in the remake, where all you get is a note from the genie saying that his last master already released him and warning Graham not to trust the antiques dealer.
 * Girl in The Tower: Valanice is locked away in an quartz tower.
 * Magic Carpet: Which takes you up a mountain.
 * Mercy Rewarded: Probably one of the most infuriating examples in the series -- instead of killing the snake with the sword that has a snake pattern on it, you should . How does that make any sense?!
 * Mission Pack Sequel
 * No Antagonist: While there are a few enemies here and there that you defeat, there is no central end-game Final Boss to defeat even though "an evil sorceress" is mentioned in the backstory.
 * Plot Coupon: The three keys.
 * Public Domain Character: Dracula, King Neptune, Red Riding Hood...
 * Rope Bridge: THE most infamous puzzle in the game, bar none.
 * Red Herring: The sword the genie gives you has a snake on it, implying you should use it to kill the snake. You shouldn't.
 * Rule of Three: Three keys, three doors, three bridge crossings...
 * Or, in the case of the remake, Three Gems, three tests, three.
 * Solve the Soup Cans: More than any other game in the series -- for example, throwing a bridle on a snake so it turns into a horse, and eating a sugar cube to neutralize poison. Abuwhuh?
 * Particularly notable is the bridle on the snake, since the writer of the novelization was able to come up with plausible ways for the characters to think of every puzzle answer, except that one. He resorted to having Graham reach for his sword, and somehow pull out the bridle and throw it on the snake by accident.
 * Standard Hero Reward
 * Thou Shalt Not Kill: See "Mercy Rewarded" above.
 * Unwinnable By Design: The rope bridge breaks after exactly seven crossings. If you aren't carrying the third key at that point, restart the game, because you will never win if you try to cross an eighth time. There is no warning about this. Again, averted by the Fan Remake.
 * What the Hell, Player?: Kill a monk in the church and you instantly die with this message:

The Fan Remake provides examples of:
"Graham: "Why, you-"
 * Affably Evil:
 * Alucard: Almost. It's Count Caldaur.
 * Anti-Magic: That's what the enchanted emerald does, which is vital to
 * Asian Store Owner: There's a merchant in town who seems to be this, but his tendency to slip into a cockney accent gives him away...
 * Award Bait Song: "When I Saw You".
 * Baleful Polymorph: Towards the end of the game,.
 * If you're caught by the unnamed sorcerer in the forest he'll turn you into a beast.
 * Beware the Nice Ones: You know that sweet old lady who runs the antique store?
 * Bigger Bad: Hagatha is surely bad, but.
 * Comically Missing the Point: The King of the Sharkees knows that King Neptune's trident is powered by "good will". As he has the greatest will in his kingdom, it should be easy for him to work it...
 * Cool Sword: Graham starts the game with one. It proves quite useful.
 * Curse: The ending of the Remake. Also a Shout Out to later games.
 * Curse Cut Short:
 * Curse Cut Short:

Hagatha: "Witch?"

Valanice: "I am sure it would have rhymed.""

"Neptune: "We can say that Air is not my element...""
 * The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: Continuity Nods aside, if you do something stupid like trying to talk to a swan or stealing a porch, you will get a withering response from the narrator.
 * The Animation Bump extends to everything too. The Batmobile Easter Egg is turned from Adam West's to Michael Keaton's.
 * Bonk!
 * Discontinuity Nod: Towards Mask of Eternity's Contested Sequel status.
 * Everything's Deader With Zombies: Trust us, it's very unwise to dig up the wrong tomb.....
 * Everything's Even Worse With Sharks : The Sharkees in the remake.
 * Evil Chancellor: "I take it you found your journey through Kolyma void of peril or incident-"
 * Family-Unfriendly Death: Being devoured by a shark-man, poisoned by swamp-water, boiled alive by a witch, mauled by wolves, dragged underground by an angry zombie.... the remake is plenty of these....
 * Fantastic Racism: A mild example; at one point you wonder if all dwarves are as greedy as the one you encounter.
 * The Final Temptation: The second Air Gem test.
 * Friendly Neighborhood Vampire:
 * Fur Against Fang
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: King Neptune is guilty of one when he's informing Graham about the Air Gem. The narrator blames the wine for that.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: King Neptune is guilty of one when he's informing Graham about the Air Gem. The narrator blames the wine for that.

"King Graham: You seem to have quite a selection of... well... quite a selection!"
 * I Was Quite a Looker: Hagatha.
 * Jerkass: Many, including the librarian, Hagatha, the Dwarf and the unnamed sorcerer.
 * Kiss of Life: The mermaid gives one to Graham, allowing him to breath underwater.
 * Kleptomaniac Hero: Any attempts by the player will be Averted and Lampshaded by the Lemony Narrator.
 * Knife Nut: That pesky dwarf.
 * MacGuffin: The Three stones of Nature. (Birth, Growth and Death.)
 * Mindlink Mates: The Fan Remake adds this twist to Standard Hero Reward. Turns out that, in her enchanted sleep, Valanice had been mind-linked with Graham since he saw her in the mirror, allowing her to know what kind of man he is. The only indication Graham ever gets of this is a vision of her singing to him when he almost falls to his death from Caldaur's castle.
 * Neck Lift: Caldaur does this to Graham, making his much-foreshadowed first appearance even more of an Oh Crap moment.
 * Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Both the merchant in the town (Asian Store Owner to Cockney and the talking pumpkin mother (between Brooklyn and Cockney again) do this, although the pumpkin might be accidental...
 * Our Vampires Are Different: One of the side effects of being turned into a vampire seems to maturing or rejuvenating to a physical age around 25.
 * Please Spare Him My Liege: The answer to the first Air Gem test.
 * Punctuated for Emphasis: Graham gives one of these to the nameless evil enchanter.
 * Rhymes On a Dime: Frequently.
 * Scary Librarian: She's rude, she isn't very helpful, the library is impossible to navigate without her..
 * Secret Test of Character: The Cloud Spirit Tests.
 * She Is All Grown Up:
 * Shout Out: The Remake is loaded. Not just to the future King's Quest games, but to Space Quest, Laura Bow, Leisure Suit Larry, Quest for Glory, Ecoquest, and even Star Wars.
 * And then of course there's the title, which in both the original and the remake homages Romancing the Stone.
 * The remake even gives a Title Drop, although Graham is Late to The Punchline.
 * The name of the genie (as seen in the note) is a Significant Anagram of Robin Williams, who's famous for playing a genie himself.
 * The church's opening hours are "From dusk 'til dawn".
 * Sinister Minister:
 * Someday This Will Come in Handy: The Annual Book of General Knowledge was clearly written by somebody who epitomised this trope.
 * Swamps Are Evil: So much that even touching the water will kill you.
 * Trivially Obvious: King Graham's reaction to the Merchant's wares:


 * The Un-Reveal: You will never find out who or what was hiding in the haystack.
 * Witch With a Capital B: Invoked, Lampshaded, and Averted within three seconds. See Curse Cut Short
 * You Need to Get Laid: This appears to be at least a secondary concern of Graham's in the opening sequence.