The Last Boy Scout



""This is the '90s. You don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first.""

- Joe Hallenbeck

The Last Boy Scout is a 1991 action film starring Bruce Willis as former Secret Service agent Joe Hallenback, now working as a private detective, and Damon Wayans as retired professional football player Jimmy Dix. The two join forces to solve the murder of Dix’s girlfriend Cory (played by the then-obscure Halle Berry), leading them into a conspiracy and the plotted assassination of a senator. The entire film consists of often violent action scenes and an endless parade of one-liners. Classic example of better than it sounds.

"Joe: You're the bad guy. Milo: I am the bad guy."
 * Asshole Victim: Mike Matthews, the scumbag private detective.
 * Badass Boast: "You touch me again and I'll kill ya."
 * Big Bad: Sheldon Marcone.
 * Bond One-Liner - The final scene of the movie has the Damon Wayans and Bruce Willis discussing future use of Bond One-Liners.
 * Boom! Headshot!: Milo kills McCaskey this way.
 * Bratty Teenage Daughter: Darian. However, she comes from an extremely troubled home so it's understandable (mostly).
 * Card-Carrying Villain: Milo

"Milo: Just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain. Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music."
 * Cruel and Unusual Death: Milo is shot by several SWAT officers and falls into the blades of a police helicopter.
 * Chekhov's Gun: The duo comes across a box of shotgun shells. Later, Jimmy uses one to help Joe, Darian and himself escape Marcone.
 * Cool and Unusual Punishment

"Ain’t life a bitch?"
 * Crapsack World: Taken almost to parodic heights.
 * "Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're gonna lose."
 * Deadpan Snarker: Hallenbeck always win the snarking contest against other characters. See below.
 * Driven to Suicide: Billy Cole, after shooting several opposing players.

"Joe Hallenbeck: "I swear to Christ that if I survive this fucking case I'm gonna dance a jig.""
 * The Dragon: Milo.
 * Drugs Are Bad: Manages to do this in a reasonably subtle way, contrasting Joe's zero tolerance with justifying Jimmy's addiction through his tragic backstory.
 * Embarrassing Middle Name
 * Eureka Moment: Overlaps with Oh Crap with Joe, as Jimmy hints that the supposed key he tossed into Marcone's fireplace is "the kind that Shred."
 * Faux Affably Evil: Marcone and Milo. Both lose their niceness VERY quickly.
 * Friend to All Children: Despite his drug problems and short temper, Jimmy is remarkably good with kids, if Darian is any indication because they quickly bond with each other after a little friction.
 * Gorn: Brutal moments punctuated by humor. There is a scene where Bruce Willis punches Chet’s NOSE through HIS BRAIN!!!! Also the infamous helicopter scene.
 * Helicopter Blender: Milo, after being shot by a SWAT team, falls into the blades of a helicopter. The result is the upper half of his body turning into Ludicrous Gibs.
 * If We Survive This

""Told ya.""
 * Jerkass: Mike gives Joe the surveillance job on Cory in the hopes he’d be killed.
 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Joe. However, it's buried pretty deep under a cover of sarcasm and self-loathing so it's nearly a Hidden Heart of Gold at certain points.
 * Like You Would Really Do It: Unintentional, retrospective aversion for modern viewers--yes, they really would kill off Halle Berry's character after a couple of scenes, because when this film was made she was a no-name playing a bit part.
 * Little Miss Badass: Darian Hallenbeck.
 * Love Hurts: "I wish the sky wasn't blue. I wish that water wasn't wet. And I wish I didn't still love my wife."
 * Metaphor Is My Middle Name
 * One-Hit Kill

"Jimmy: What would Joe do...(Beat) He'd kill everyone, and then smoke some cigarettes."
 * Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner - quote on top of the page
 * "Touch me again and I'll kill you."
 * Private Detective: Joe Hallenbeck and Mike Matthews.
 * Punctuated Pounding
 * "I told ya [BIFF!] if you touch me again [BAM!] I'll KILL YA! [POW!]"
 * Sanity Slippage: Billy Cole, after being told by Milo that he’d be killed if he lost the game, consumes PCP and shoots several opposing players before blowing out his own brains.
 * Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness - Milo
 * As well as Scrabble Man
 * "The envelope, very smart. See, Jake, here's a man who knows when a situation is untenable."
 * Stuffed in The Fridge: Cory. An especially egregious example when you condsider that Joe and Jimmy spend the rest of the movie tossing out flippant one-liners.
 * Stuff Blowing Up
 * Take Me Out At the Ball Game
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: Joe and Jimmy.
 * What Would X Do?:


 * World of Snark: The WHOLE movie is flooding with this.