British Newspapers

"PM Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers: The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country, The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country, The Times is read by people who actually do run the country, The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country, The Financial Times is read by people who own the country, The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country and the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is." Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?" Bernard Wooley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.""

- Yes, Prime Minister (Watch the video, and note that PM at the time was Margaret Thatcher.)

National newspapers in the UK were traditionally divided by format, between the relatively respectable and intelligent broadsheets and the scurrilous, gossip- and crime-obsessed tabloids. The latter are generally subdivided into the 'mid-market' tabloids and, at the lower end, those known colloquially as the 'red-tops' after their red-background title logos. Several of the broadsheet newspapers have now adopted tabloid or 'Berliner' physical formats, but the divide in reputation between the two types remains.

The UK press is collectively known as "Fleet Street", although most of them have now left that particular London locale in favour of Canary Wharf.

Broadsheets (and those with "broadsheet style", despite their Berliner or tabloid compact format)

 * Daily Telegraph - Known as "The Daily Torygraph" for its trenchant support of the Conservative party. Well known for its crossword and sports coverage (especially of cricket). Also had a major scoop when it recently exposed the MPs' expenses scandal, which was quickly picked up by all other newspapers. Formerly owned by Conrad Black, currently owned by the Barclay Brothers. Has a traditional reputation for being close to Britain's secret services and being willing to print planted stories for them. Remains firmly wedded to the actual broadsheet format, presumably for fear of overloading the Royal Mail should they ever dare to change anything.
 * Also somewhat notorious for its habit of putting 'fruity girls' on the cover at the slightest provocation (most commonly female students celebrating their exam results) and its obsession with Liz Hurley (another nickname is "The Daily Hurleygraph").
 * The Times - One of the UK's oldest newspapers (founded in the 1780s), currently owned by Rupert Murdoch. A neutral-to-conservative-leaning paper which, unlike The Sun, is editorially independent and therefore doesn't necessarily have to toe the Murdoch line. Famous for its cryptic crosswords, and also the origin of the ubiquitous Times New Roman typeface. Occasionally referred to abroad as The London Times or The Times of London to distinguish it from other papers which imitated its name.
 * The Sunday Times - sister paper to The Times and also owned by Murdoch, but they were founded independently. Remains in broadsheet format with several supplements, making it a heavyweight in more ways than one. Publishes the famous annual Sunday Times Rich List, a league table of the UK's richest people.
 * The Guardian - Formerly The Manchester Guardian. AKA "The Grauniad" or "General Belgrauniad", for its (historical reputation for) frequent printing errors. Officially a "centre-left, liberal" newspaper its columnists and readership often veer further left and its letters page can sometimes read like the outpourings of Private Eye's parody Trot, Dave Spart (often to the point where people can't tell if it's a parody or not. The term "Guardian reader" or "Guardianista" is sometimes used as a derogatory comment on a person's political leanings, similar to the US "latte liberal" or (more to the point) "New York Times liberal". Has gained some notoriety in recent years for its pre-occupation with middle-class navel-gazing "lifestyle" aspirations and London-centric tendencies (ironic for a newspaper which began in the English North-West). When the chips are down, it will support Labour, although in the most recent election it declared for the Liberal Democrats (well, it actually declared for "Liberal Democrat, but Labour if they're the only people who can beat the Tories in your constituency"). Although less widely known than that of the Times, its crossword is arguably better regarded among enthusiasts. One of its journalists was once shot as part of a CIA cover-up of the Treadstone Project.
 * The Observer - Sunday-only sister paper to The Guardian. Basically the same, but even more smug. Also leans more towards the arts.
 * The Observer does have some reason to be smug - it is oldest Sunday newspaper in the entire world.
 * The Guardian is also increasingly notable for the nearly unfailing correlation of their recommendations about elections and the inverse outcome:
 * Told Americans not to vote for George W. Bush's second term, and encouraged their readers to write Americans in the "swing" area of Clark County, Ohio to this effect, even if the American voters in question were complete strangers. It caused a major backlash from Americans that resulted in Clark County voting Republican; the Guardian wound up publishing some of the hate mail that they received under the headline "Dear Limey assholes".
 * And Londoners not to vote for Boris Johnson as mayor.
 * And then cautiously sort-of-endorsed the Lib Dems in the 2010 UK election, as a means of keeping out the Tories.
 * After the Tories had got in, the paper jerked sharply back to Labour, and promptly forgot the things that drove them from the party in the first place. Really, theirs is not so much a pro-Labour position as pro-anybody-but-the-bloody-Conservatives-again.
 * In Summer 2011, The Guardian enjoyed a welcome bask in the limelight, having been plugging away at the News of the World phone scandal for years, only for them to blow the doors right off by publishing some revelations that the News of the World had also hacked a murdered teenager's phone and the phones of several dead soldiers. If the Graun hadn't been investigating so tirelessly, chances are what the News of the World were doing would never have come to light. Even Telegraph columnists have given them props.
 * It is also worth noting that Private Eye had been saying similar things for even longer, however.
 * Even more recently, the Guardian has shown itself to be particularly favorable towards the Occupy protest movements, the opinion pages practically endorsing it outright. On the other hand, it also shows a bias that both seems to skewer the coverage and conforms to the aforementioned "Guardianista" and navel-gazing tendencies.
 * On the other hand, not everyone agrees that the Guardian is actually left wing: "When will the hacks stop saying that the Guardian is left wing? It's more of a lifestyle magazine for people on the centre right who occasionally Tippex their Remembrance Day poppy because they want to celebrate peace not war and who own kitchens whose colour scheme must match the dish of the day." - Robin Ince
 * The Independent - AKA "The Indyscribablyboring". Considerably younger than the other broadsheets and originally set up to be genuinely independent, it has turned into a somewhat Lib-Dem supporting paper (stopping short of outright support but advocating a hung parliament), and latterly has turned to tabloid-style editorial-lead front-page headlines. It has also, in recent years, become particularly outspoken on environmental issues to a slightly obsessive, even alarmist, degree to the extent that it tends to cover environmental issues in the same way the right-wing tabloids cover immigration (i.e. whether they're in the news or not). In March 2010 the paper was bought for £1 by Russian oligarch and former KGB employee, Alexander Lebedev. Having only been set up in the late '80s, Jim Hacker didn't say anything about it; if he did, he'd say that "the Independent is read by the people who think whoever is running the country isn't doing it properly" though the Spiritual Successor to Yes Minister, The Thick of It, describes the average Independent front page as "a headline saying 'CRUELTY' and then a picture of a dolphin or a whale underneath". Even if World War III had broken out the previous day.
 * Has recently founded the i, which can best be described as a "lite" version of the paper.
 * The Financial Times - Business and economics broadsheet, mostly incomprehensible to anyone not working in management. Seems to be holding up better than most in the great general decline of newspaper readership. Has been printed on pink paper rather than white since 1893, originally because it was cheaper. Curiously enough, it sells more copies outside of Britain. (Old joke: What's big, pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crossword.)

Mid-market tabloids

 * Daily Express - AKA "The Daily Sexpress" since its owner is Richard Desmond, a porn baron, and the paper advertises his channels' programmes. Amusingly, however, the paper itself is very reactionary, and manages to convey an impression of being against porn in general terms. It seems to have an obsession with Conspiracy Theories about the death of Princess Diana, which generates a surprising number of front-page stories for the paper even today and has led to the use of the nickname "The Di-ly Express" (most notably, when every other paper was printing front page stories about the anniversary terrorist attacks on London, the two Desmond titles used a Diana headline (Express) and a B-list-reality-show-contestant headline (Star)). However, it usually runs Diana stories on a Monday. Guess which day has lowest newspaper sales. Subscribes to Missing White Woman Syndrome on occasion, having an almost unhealthy obsession with Madeleine McCann. Strangely missing in Hacker's speech, although he'd probably say that it's "read by the people who think the country ought to be run like they think it used to be". Interestingly enough, the first newspaper in Britain to have a crossword and one the first to report on gossip and sports to a significant degree. Leon Trotsky wrote despatches for the Express for a while after Stalin chucked him out of the USSR.
 * For an example of the advertising for his own channels: in the issue after Desmond acquired Channel Five, Private Eye observed that they mocked ITV's paltry audience share of 13.6% and praised Five's groundbreaking share of 5% in the same article.
 * Probably better noted for being out and out racist, on occasion making the Daily Mail look moderate by comparison (and the rest of the time, not far away from the Mail's general tenor), regularly running front page stories demonising immigrants and/or minorities, often on a very very flimsy basis. Essentially, the Mail off its medication.
 * Had a Crowning Moment of Tastelessness when it ran an article attacking the grown-up survivors of the Dunblane massacre, for the heinous crime (a Moral Event Horizon in the paper's eyes) of... having pictures of them drinking on their Facebook pages.
 * Daily Mail - Says the enemy's among us, taking our women and taking our jobs. Ultra right-wing, populist, nationalistic, xenophobic, isolationist often hysterical and notoriously obsessed with the immigrants and house prices and, lately, campaigns against same-sex marriage and claimants of state benefits. Infamously supported fascism in a big way in the 1930s (hence the common "Daily Heil" nickname); prior to World War II, it openly advocated an alliance with Adolf Hitler and claimed German Jews seeking refuge in Britain were "exaggerating" the bad treatment they claimed to be getting from Herr Hitler's sound and firm government. In the Mail's opinion, they were just economic migrants taking advantage of Britain's lax generosity, (and besides we have far too many Jews in Britain as it is.)
 * Currently, it likes to present itself as the voice of the "silent (moral) majority". It provoked a protest march from Emo kids due to some shoddy journalism. Has an Irish edition that is similarly populist in its editorial policy, humorously leading to scare stories and editorial campaigns printed in different markets that contradict one another. Notable for having some pretty controversial columnists on its staff; Richard Littlejohn is usually the most commonly cited example. After its flirtation with the British Union of Fascists (until the events of 1939-45 made this unthinkable even for the Mail), it will now always support the Conservatives, although its tone verges into BNP territory a lot, leading to the occasional condemnation of the latter to (unconvincingly) make itself appear moderate (in 2012 it raised some eyebrows by publishing a column endorsing the far-right candidate Marine Le Pen in the French presidential election).
 * Some journalists, notably the Guardian's Paul Davies, have pointed out the Daily Mail isn't right wing as a rule; it's just slavishly devoted to its huge market, the white 30+ middle class. If this market is resentful towards bankers (most recently), the Tories, etc., then the Mail is not afraid to bash bankers and the Tories. So it all comes down to the bottom line in the end. The Mail is very similar to The Sun when at its worst, but likes to pretend it's more upmarket. Obsessed with Karen Gillan, Katie Price and Kim Kardashian. Only escapes being considered 'gutter press' due to tradition, but is even losing that battle, with its journalists famously trying to distance itself from their editor, Paul Dacre. Saving graces are that it sometimes does some pretty interesting historical articles (thanks to the presence of respected historian and ex-war correspondent Sir Max Hastings on the writing staff), and often has very nice nature and landscape photographs. The crossword isn't bad either.


 * Another common theme in the Mail is that just about everything causes cancer, or cures it, possibly both on different days, and actually has a segment on ridiculous health theories, usually involving cancer, fruit, or fruit that gives you cancer. This is why it is nicknamed "The Daily Hypochondriac". The comedian Russell Howard created the Daily Mail Cancer Song to the usual tune.
 * Also expect a similar obsession over house prices as well, how they are at their worst for years and too many people can't get on the property ladder. Almost as if they cycle through 3 or 4 pre-selected topics a day...
 * The Mail on Sunday - The Sunday sister paper of the Daily Mail; while still staunchly conservative, it's far less alarmist and far more credible. Has journalists and columnists such as staunchly Anglican conservative and enemy of television Peter Hitchens (brother of the famous atheist/antitheist Christopher Hitchens). Tends to be read by conservatives who like reading a newspaper without hysteria (although Peter Hitchens can sometimes seem a little bit out-there; he regularly bashes the Conservative Party for being too left-wing and strongly criticises what he perceives as the modern right's idolisation of Margaret Thatcher).
 * Throughout the Harry Potter books, the Daily Mail is the morning paper read by Vernon Dursley, Harry's snobby and politically reactionary uncle.
 * Oh, and they're the Trope Namer for Political Correctness Gone Mad.
 * Evening Standard - London's evening paper. Formerly an Associated Newspapers paper, it played a contributory role in Ken Livingstone's 2008 defeat in the Mayor of London election. This led to it being dubbed the "Evening Boris" after eventual winner Boris Johnson; the paper's particular dislike for Livingstone can be traced back to a controversial incident in 2005 where he was less than polite to one of its reporters, and what should have been a minor gaffe was blown out of all proportion, became a national scandal and left everyone involved (including Livingstone himself, the reporter who chose to make it an issue, the Evening Standard in its entirety, and the Daily Mail which had predictably come to its sister paper's defence) with egg on their faces. Recently bought by a former KGB agent for £1 and turned it into a freesheet. Despite no longer being part of Associated Newspapers, it was even more hostile to Ken and pro-Boris in 2012 than 2008, if that's even possible.
 * The Evening Standard has something of a reputation for provincialism, in particular any other news story being overruled by something about a strike on the London Underground (for example, "TUBE STRIKE CALLED OFF; page 93, global thermonuclear war breaks out). Currently has added an obsession with the evils of squatting. Also subject to Memetic Mutation is the distinctive way its sellers shout out its title, "Eeeeevngggg-Stendeddddd!" That's all in one syllable, if you didn't know.

Red-top tabloids

 * The Sun - AKA "The Currant Bun" in one of the better-known pieces of Cockney rhyming slang, or "The Scum" if you're not feeling as kind. Famously, home of the Page Three Stunna, although it's not the only tabloid to do so. Also known for using topless women to sell propaganda. Solidly conservative-right when it comes to politics, its populist working-class stance means this position is usually dressed-up as standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the common man, often unconvincingly. Supported the Conservatives under Margaret Thatcher and John Major before deciding to back Labour in 1997, 2001 and 2005 (in spite of spending much of this period attacking Labour Party policy in its editorials), it now supports Cameron's revitalised Conservatives. One theory for the paper's changing party allegiance (unusual in a British newspaper) is that the paper doesn't want to be seen to back a loser—or rather, Murdoch is trying to get UK media ownership regulations relaxed. It may also have something to do with the Labour party's hard swing to the right during Blair's leadership.
 * The ink comes off on your hands. Has been responsible for some of the most famous (or infamous) headlines of recent times, such as "Gotcha" (the sinking of General Belgrano in 1982 during The Falklands War, although the original story merely thought it had been damaged), "It's The Sun Wot Won It" (after backing Major's Conservatives to a surprise 1992 General Election victory), and occasional superlatively convoluted Punny Headlines such as the football-related "Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious". Uses Bold Inflation a LOT. Created a free Polish-language edition, Polski Sun, for the duration of Euro 2008. The last time time they endorsed Labour they did it by blowing red smoke out of a chimney. You see, this Ratzinger fellow had received a promotion...


 * A useful tip would be not to buy/read or talk positively about The Sun around Liverpool, due to a particularly disgusting article they fabricated out of whole cloth which accused Liverpool fans of attacking victims of the 1989 Hillsborough football stadium disaster. You'll find it difficult to do this anyway; most newsagents in Liverpool refuse to stock it and nobody will take it, even with a free DVD or magazine stuffed in to lure them to buy it, nor can they even give it away for free. Twenty-two years on and the Sun's circulation in the city has never even begun to recover. It was that offensive.
 * At one point the Sun's editor apologized, but later after he'd left the paper he recanted, said he'd been pressured into the apology by Rupert Murdoch, and stood by the original story.
 * In Liverpool it's not just not carried by newsagents, it's actively campaigned against, even 22 years later. Even Everton supporters overcome their hatred of Liverpool FC and avoid buying The Sun.
 * Roma or Irish Travellers won't thank you for doing so either, what with their "Stamp On The Camp" campaign that was trying to have both communities reclassified as some sort of vermin infestation or something. Nor has their treatment of refugees, women, Muslims or... *sigh* Just don't admit to liking it around anyone who isn't a white, heterosexual working-class male under the age of forty, alright?
 * And over twenty-five; anything below and you're a hoody, a vicious criminal or slacking off in school thanks to all the exam boards 'dumbing down'.
 * All of the above make the arrests of the weekend of the 11–12 February 2012 and the subsequent internal blame game very easy to watch for all of the above offended groups.
 * Former editor Kelvin McKenzie (the one responsible for the above-mentioned Hillsborough article) conveniently summed up the average Sun reader: "He's the bloke you see in the pub, a right old fascist, wants to send the wogs back, buy his poxy council house, he's afraid of the unions, afraid of the Russians, hates the queers and the weirdos and drug dealers. He doesn't want to hear about that stuff (i.e. serious news)".
 * The Sun now publishes an edition every day except Christmas Day.
 * The Mirror - A generally left-wing tabloid (though as a populist paper it can veer right on issues like crime), supporting Labour doggedly but opposing the Iraq War. Ironically founded as a Conservative stable-mate of the Daily Mail (to the extent of supporting Oswald Mosley), but new ownership in the '30s turned it to its present left-of-centre ideology. Had one editor (Piers Morgan) sacked over faked pictures of abuse in Iraq, then few months later ran the "Bush states have lower IQs" hoax as genuine. Has been in decline a long period of time. Also known as the "Daily Moron", after Piers Morgan - always named some variant on Piers Moron by Private Eye.
 * Other notable gaffes involved "mentioning the war" before England's Euro 96 semi-final against Germany. Then again, that's standard operating procedure in the gutter press whenever England play Germany. Nonetheless, on this occasion the Mirror contrived to go unusually far even by those standards, going off on an extended riff about "Declaring Football War" on Germany.
 * It also has an odd history of enmity with Private Eye, due to both an owner, Robert Maxwell, and later the aforementioned editor Piers Morgan, having a special hatred for the magazine and no compunction against devoting all the resources they possessed to this 'battle'.
 * Maxwell sued Private Eye for £225,000 (a fortune then, and an even bigger fortune now) and won it. Private Eye editor Ian Hislop famously said: "I've just given a fat cheque to a fat Czech." (Maxwell was born in Czechoslovakia).
 * In more recent years the Mirror has been targeting a primarily female audience, to the point where generally about half of the stories and articles are aimed specifically at women, with the remainder (barring the sports pages) being gender-neutral. The exception to this is the Saturday and Monday editions; since so much of the paper is dedicated to football on those days anyway, the editorial team usually uses them for any male-specific content they want to publish.
 * The Daily Star, another Desmond title. More tits and less news than The Sun, and is essentially a daily gossip magazine. The day after Prince Charles' engagement to Camilla Parker-Bowles was announced it led with the headline "BORING OLD GITS TO WED". Admittedly makes things up.
 * Remember several paragraphs up when we mentioned the Express was "the Mail off its meds"? Well, as the Star doesn't have the need to kid anyone about its (lack of) journalistic integrity, it sometimes appears more racist than its sister paper, including cozying up to the far-right Muslim-baiting English Defence League on several occasions. So basically, the Express's "special" little brother. Who is also off his meds.
 * Infamous for its misleading headlines. For instance: "JORDAN IN NEW CANCER SCARE! Shock Diagnosis for Kate and her Family!" From this, one might infer that Ms Price had cancer? Err, no. The "CANCER SCARE" was in fact this: Her boyfriend Alex Reid uses fake tan, which might cause cancer. Other examples: JORDAN CELEBRATES HOT BABY NEWS, JORDAN'S BABY BOY, (notice a theme here), TERROR AS PLANE HITS ASH CLOUDS (illustrated using an image from a documentary and not hinting that the whole thing was fictional) and ROYAL BABY ON WAY (the startling revelation that William and Kate, being married, might choose to conceive a child).
 * For those who have read the opening quote carefully and are wondering, The Morning Star, formerly The Daily Worker, was the pro-Soviet daily newspaper of the British Communist Party. There are a number of weekly papers by other far-left groups, such as Militant and Socialist Worker, but these are only sold in the street by supporters of the groups that print them. The Morning Star itself still exists and is still nominally affiliated with the British Communist Party (which also still exists) but aims itself at a broader audience among the radical left rather than focusing on the tiny minority of actual Communists remaining in the UK.
 * It was originally affiliated with the Communist Party of Great Britain (CPGB) but switched to the breakaway Communist Party of Britain (CPB) in the 1980s. A good thing for them, too, as the CPGB fell apart soon after The Great Politics Mess-Up. Oops.
 * Ironically the Morning Star is unique among British tabloid format newspapers in being literally blue-top instead of red-top, despite being explicitly socialist.
 * The Daily Sport - home to even more topless women and also owned by a pornographer. Equivalent to the US National Enquirer, in a way. Superficially resembles the Sun, Mirror and Star, but notable for containing almost nothing that is normally thought of as news. Including a double-decker bus encased in an Antarctic ice sheet, a World War II bomber found on the Moon, a kebab house with an unconventional ingredient and a half-horse, half-human baby. Squeezed in, with extreme difficulty, around the porn.
 * The day they reported on the bomber, they received a phone call: "I am a professional astronomer, I am looking at the Moon right now, and I can assure you, there is no bomber there." Their headline the next day: "World War II Bomber On Moon Vanishes!"
 * After a brush with bankruptcy the daily edition of this once fine organ of the press has ceased publication, although the Sunday Sport lives on and a midweek version is also published.
 * News of the World - Another Murdoch paper, formerly published weekly on Sunday. Known as "News of the Screws", and usually thought of as the "Sunday Sun". Its reputation was utterly destroyed within a matter of days in July 2011 when it emerged that they had hacked - it was claimed deleted at the time, an allegation later withdrawn - the voicemails of (among others) murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler, giving her parents the illusion of hope that she was still alive. This resulted in it ceasing publication and a mess of controversy for Murdoch, who saw his bid to acquire the BSkyB network scuttled in the aftermath - and the resignation (and in some cases, criminal indictment) of several high-ranking officials in the Cameron government and the London Metropolitan Police who had been associated with the paper.
 * The People - A Sunday paper, sister to the Sunday Mirror. No-one reads it, since the Sunday Mirror is basically the same but with better brand recognition, but somehow it's still going after 130 years.

Most of the nicknames mentioned, incidentally, were coined, or at least popularised, by Private Eye in its "Street of Shame" page.

Scottish newspapers
Most national newspapers also put out a Scottish edition with a few vague attempts at localisation. This is influenced by the fact that political "left and right" are a bit different in Scotland than in the rest of the UK (particularly England). Someone who was fairly centrist in London terms would be seen as rather right-wing in Scotland. Naturally, the Tories are often barely a blip in Scotland, with races being between Labour, the Lib Dems, and the SNP (which is more leftist than Labour). One notable effect of this is that while The Sun is now solidly Tory in the rest of the UK, the Scottish edition now maintains an uncomfortable neutrality. Yes folks, that's local opinion (and its effect on sales) winning out over the influence of Rupert Murdoch.

That said, there are also a few specifically Scottish titles, such as:


 * The Herald: Formerly The Glasgow Herald, a centre-left broadsheet. Generally supports Labour, although was anti-war in Iraq. Sunday edition is called The Sunday Herald.
 * The Scotsman: Published in Edinburgh, slightly right leaning. Broadsheet in terms of content, but published at tabloid size. Sunday edition is called Scotland on Sunday.
 * The Daily Record: Scottish tabloid, published in Glasgow. Supports Labour and takes a leftist stance on economic issues but tends to be conservative on social issues (it vocally supported a campaign to retain the anti-gay Section 28 legislation). Second best selling paper in Scotland (beaten by The Sun). Fiercely, fiercely anti-nationalist. Previously owned by The Mirror Group, when it was basically just the Scottish edition of The Mirror, but now independently owned and is all new content. A cut-down version is given out in Aberdeen, Dundee, Edinburgh and Glasgow (with a small amount of regional specific exclusive content in each edition). Sunday edition is The Sunday Mail, which is more leftist and is the biggest selling Sunday paper in Scotland.
 * Also known as 'the Daily Weedgie', 'The Daily Rangers' and 'The Daily Retard'.
 * The Press & Journal: Published in Aberdeen and only available in the North-East of Scotland. Incredibly parochial (the rumour goes that the sinking of the Titanic was reported as "North-East Man Lost At Sea"). Right leaning, but does not openly support the Conservative party. Independently owned and published.
 * The Sunday Post: Tartan, Heather and Shortbread in Sunday newspaper form. Published in Dundee and home to iconic Scottish comic strips The Broons and Oor Wullie. No daily edition, because no one could take that level of "Bonnie Scotland" sentiment on a daily basis. Published by D.C. Thomson, better known for comics such as The Beano and The Dandy.

Northern Ireland

 * The Belfast Telegraph: Published in Belfast (obviously), a conservative and moderate Unionist daily broadsheet. Currently the best selling Northern Irish based newspaper.
 * The Irish News: Published in Belfast and available across Ireland, though it is only a major player in the North. A moderate Nationalist compact.
 * The News Letter: Ancient Belfast based tabloid, published since 1737, making it the longest surviving English language daily in the world. Staunchly Unionist in politics (though apparently it was once Republican in its distant past).
 * Additionally most of the English papers sell specific Irish editions in the Republic. These range from near-identical to the English versions (The Irish Sun) to substantially different (The Irish Daily Star, which superficially resembles its London equivalent but with far less interest in celebrities and a surprisingly strong Irish political view). The Daily Mail (of all papers) has fairly recently started producing an Irish edition and is trying to find its footing and understand its audience - ironically Lord Northcliffe, the founder of the paper was himself originally from Dublin.
 * The Impartial Reporter, based mainly around Fermanagh and Enniskillen. Tries to stay out of politics, and a brief look at Northern Irish politics will tell you why and give you the reason for the name.
 * Ironically, The Impartial Reporter is viewed in some circles as the local Protestant/Unionist newspaper; a second newspaper in the area, The Fermanagh Herald, is more geared towards Catholic/Nationalist readers. This duopoly in local press according to where you stand on The Irish Question is mirrored in other cities and towns in Northern Ireland; its second-largest city has weekly papers The Derry Journal and The Londonderry Sentinel - have a guess which community each paper targets!

Freesheets
Tabloid sized newspapers available free at railway stations and from street vendors. Or from the seats of trains, which is where they usually end up - letters to the Metro have on occasion encouraged people to do this and complained about train staff removing the papers. On the Manchester trams, there are notices encouraging people to leave the Metro on the seat. Conversely on Manchester area trains and the London Underground there are posters warning that doing so is littering.


 * Metro - Has multiple local editions. No real political views explicitly expressed in the paper (it doesn't have a comment section) but the writing is reminiscent of its sister paper, the Daily Mail. Amusingly, once confused a Saudi Royal with an international terrorist.
 * Most of its content can be summed up as obsessing over The X Factor, Cheryl Cole, Reality TV, Simon Cowell and anything with Pop Music in. Although it does print Nemi as well.
 * thelondonpaper. Frequently sticks a picture of a scantily-clad woman in its "pictures of the day" section on page 2. It was owned by Rupert Murdoch, go figure. Although unlike Murdoch's other papers, it was strongly socially liberal, with male and female regular gay columnists. Now defunct.
 * London Lite. Associated Newspapers owned (and previously a lite version of the Standard), now defunct.
 * City AM. A business paper, with a supplement on sports betting.
 * The Evening Standard: see "Mid-market tabloids". Turned into a freesheet in October 2009, after The London Paper closed down, prompting the closure of London Lite too.

News and politics magazines

 * The Spectator - The right-wing weekly news magazine, which dates back to the nineteenth century (although it sometimes naughtily claims descent from a famous unconnected early magazine of the same title from the eighteenth century). Now owned by the Telegraph Group. Generally open to all strains of right-wing thought, from the libertarian to the Neo-Conservative to the old school up-the-aristocracy, and editing the magazine gets you a lot of cred in the Conservative Party (e.g. Boris Johnson). Likes to criticize Political Correctness Gone Mad.
 * New Statesman - The left-wing weekly news magazine, popularly known as "the Staggers" because of its perpetual financial precariousness. Lost a lot of prestige thanks to a recent period when it was owned by a slightly corrupt government minister and became slavishly Blairite. Now seems slightly confused and looking for a role.
 * The Economist - A weekly magazine (although it calls itself a newspaper) owned by The Economist Group. Known in the US mostly as that magazine whose name you throw around if you want to sound smart whether or not you actually read it. Covers foreign affairs and economic matters from a classic liberal perspective (as opposed to American liberal). In the British media, it is considered to be economically quite hard-right-wing but socially libertarian — placing it more or less halfway between the leftmost of the Thatcherite Tories and the rightmost of the Lib Dems — whereas in the US it tends to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. It might be fair to say that it got its dream-government in the Tory-Lib Dem Coalition, which it has frequently praised (and criticized, but more often praised). The news magazine is mostly a loss-leader for the very expensive, specialised and high-quality business information and economic analysis provided by other bits of the Economist Group.
 * The Week - Weekly digest of the week's big news stories, with a fairly dull middle-market middle-wing middle-brow viewpoint. The news and politics magazine for people who aren't all that interested but think they should be making an effort.
 * Private Eye - a fortnightly satirical magazine edited by Ian Hislop of Have I Got News for You fame. Notable for having better investigative journalism than most of the proper papers, with the twin results of breaking many scandals earlier than anyone else, and being the subject of countless libel suits (Hislop frequently publishes the letters threatening legal action, and occasionally describes himself as "the most-sued man in British legal history"). Slightly split personality as the news pages tend to be quite left-wing while the cultural coverage tends to "all modern art is a con trick and all pop culture is trash" conservatism.
 * People familiar with the French press (no, not the one you use for coffee) should think of Le Canard enchaîné as more or less an exact equivalent (albeit a much shorter one). Americans should think of The Daily Show, but in print form and only coming out once every two weeks. The second half consists of parodies similar to the USA's The Onion, whereas the first half is investigative journalism.
 * The Big Issue - Weekly magazine which contains articles about social issues. Notable as it specifically exists as a means for homeless people to make a legitimate income - it is only sold in the street by homeless vendors and can't be bought in shops. See the other wiki.
 * Prospect - Monthly politics magazine with a general establishment-left (although surprisingly anti-immigration at times) and pro-European tendency.
 * Standpoint - Monthly politics magazine which is much closer to US Republicanism than any native British ideology, full of stories pointing out how Western Civilisation is in danger from the Muslims and their multicultural socialist friends. Rumoured by opponents to sell sod-all and to be published merely as an attempt to persuade Americans with those politics that they have a serious constituency in the UK.

...There you go, then. This is why so many Brits just get their news from topical quiz shows instead.