Bitter Lake

"After more than a decade of peace the proud and noble kingdom of Valanor is suddenly torn apart by a terrible civil war. After 12 years, when the dust settles and resources start to dwindle, the starving people of Valanor cry out for peace, forcing the leaders of Tier, Sinnah, Daneth and Osgard to lay down their arms and meet each other at the negotiation table. As each province prepares an envoy to find a diplomatic solution at the Kingdom's only neutral ground, an ancient and dark organization plots its return. Unbeknownst to the leaders of the four warring provinces this old enemy will stop at nothing to crush any hope of lasting peace. Can the four envoys put their old hatreds aside and forge a bond of trust? Or will those that crave the blood and terror of war get their way?

Whatever the outcome, the fate of Valanor will be decided... at Bitter Lake."

That's what the synopsis on the website says. As a description of the plot, it serves. As a description of the movie...not quite.

Bitter Lake has the dubious distinction of being one of the first live-action movies created specifically to cater to a furry audience; the entire thing is performed in full fursuits. Unfortunately, it has the unambiguous shame of not being very good. Interminable at only 41 minutes long, the movie consists mostly of static dialog scenes as the characters first hold the actual peace talks, then switch briefly to a paranoid Who Dunnit when they start getting killed. There's one short action scene near the end, and then it's right back to ceaseless prattle.

Not to be confused with the actual Bitter Lake in Seattle, Washington.


 * All There in the Manual: The movie's website describes the setting and characters in far more depth than the movie does.
 * Catch Phrase: Drraer likes to say "Hell's Bitches" at every little thing that irritates him.
 * The Dung Ages
 * Evil Gloating: After everyone else is dead,.
 * Funny Animal Anatomy: Belora and Arden have digitigrade feet. Careth and Drraer have plantigrade. The disparity is because, rather than being custom-tailored for the movie, the actors just added faux-medieval costumes to their own fursuits.
 * Furry Fandom: The target audience.
 * Ghost Town: Bitter Lake is utterly abandoned, presumably because it's neutral territory located in the exact middle of Valanor.
 * Milking the Giant Cow: Since the faces have precisely one movement (opening and closing the mouth), the actors all hilariously overact their body language to try and sell the acting.
 * Obfuscating Disability: The brother of one of the main characters gets mentioned twice: once in the movie and once on the movie's website. Both times he's alluded to as being mentally disabled. Then he actually appears at the end, and it turns out he's actually not retarded in the slightest; his brother just always said he was on account of everyone in this movie is a giant, gaping asshole, and everyone else ever just automatically believed it.
 * Only Known by Their Nickname: The cast and crew are credited as their fursuiter nicknames instead of the names on their birth certificates. Presumably anyone who gives a slap knows who they are.
 * The Smurfette Principle: Belora dan Winters is the only female.
 * Stuffed Into the Fridge: Belora has just enough time after the long debate scene to have a brief Ship Tease moment with Arden before she's assassinated, sending the men into a paranoid frenzy.
 * Succession Crisis: Arden is the crown prince of Valanor, and he would have taken the throne had his father not been assassinated while he was still a child. At the peace talks, one of his demands is that he be instated as king in the reunited Valanor.
 * Throwing Off the Disability: Arden's brother gets a one-off mention as being "retarded" (the website also makes a mention of him being "half-witted"). Then he actually shows up at the end of the movie and turns out to be not impaired in the slightest . He claims that he never really was, and Arden only told everyone he was retarded in order to discredit him.
 * Who Dunnit: The last ten minutes or so of the movie is a paranoid scramble by the diplomats to find out which one of them is the assassin before they all end up killed. This pretty much comes down to a cheap swordfight between Drraer and Careth.
 * Who Dunnit: The last ten minutes or so of the movie is a paranoid scramble by the diplomats to find out which one of them is the assassin before they all end up killed. This pretty much comes down to a cheap swordfight between Drraer and Careth.