Swiss Army Tears/Quotes

""Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.""

- The Chuck Norris facts.

""Is this just a power the people of KO-35 have?""

""Oh good! Now Karone can just cry on them to restore them all!"

- Linkara on Power Rangers Lost Galaxy

""...what kind of lesson is that to teach your kids? If you cry hard enough, dead people will come back from the grave? Bullshit! I mean, in a Disney film at least, when somebody is dead, they stay dead! I mean how would you like it if in The Lion King, you heard someone say, 'Don't worry Simba, if you cry hard enough, your father will come back from the grave! ...I don't see his eyes opening. I guess you're not crying hard enough. Go on Simba, cry, CRY! Don't you want your father to come back to life? Do you want him to stay dead forever? Cry harder Simba. Harder. Harder! HARDER! I guess you don't love your father enough. Oh well, that's the circle of life kid, tough break.' You see? It's fucking creepy!""

- The Nostalgia Critic, during a review of Pokémon the First Movie

""How come tears are like mythical stargates in these films?""

- The Nostalgia Critic, during a review of Felix the Cat The Movie