Spices

Spices is a story written on Fiction Press and Textnovel by an author called "Caution Zone". The story follows 13-year-olds named Sakkai, Cheerio, Connan, Psaici, and Cossi, along with their supposed "guardian" vampire named Siki. So far, they have no idea where they are in the story --- though the prologue suggests they might be in a weird place in Japan.

Read here.


 * Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Guess what goes on in the House of Innuendos?
 * Getting Crap Past the Radar: For a story rated K+ (ages 9 and up), you wouldn't expect the characters to use words like "damn" and "hell" so often.
 * Siki even drops the "s" bomb once! Sure, it's allowed in PG-rated movies, but still...
 * The store in How to Train Your Pika Cat: Part I had to have killed any radar. For example, it's heavily implied the teenage boy is a male prostitute, and tries to seduce Cheerio!
 * Don't forget the line at the end about the poles...
 * In the third chapter A Second Dimension, both Cossi and Connan accidentally call the "Lucky Star Hotline". Cossi's call goes all the way to "we're giving you all the best tips on kawaii, rule 34-"
 * Alex, in the second part, says he has a plan so good it will...knock Cheerio's pants off. What censors?
 * In the same chapter, the thing about Siki trying to hear loud noises when she figures out Cheerio and Sakkai are alone together...what does she think they're doing?
 * Cheerio says in the second part to Sakkai, after knocking Alex out cold, "He was probably just going to take me back to his room. I'd rather be in your room..." Yes, in a way, she just implied she'd rather have sex with Sakkai then Alex. In a K+ story.
 * Made even worse by the fact the characters are thirteen.
 * Gosh Dang It to Heck: The characters are fine with cursing most of the time, but most of the time when yelling use "Oh my gosh!" or "Oh my goddess!".
 * Porn Stash: It's implied Psaici has a tamer version of this; Cheerio finds a DVD of the real-life ecchi anime My Santa! on the table, and Psaici says it's his.
 * Shout-Out: The Lucky Star Hotline. I don't think this needs to be explained.
 * As well as the obvious shout out to the anime My Santa!.
 * Less obvious then the others, but the "Good night everybody!" at the end of How to Train Your Pika Cat: Part I, used in the exact same context as a certain cartoon called Animaniacs.
 * Sound Effect Bleep: Real life Parental Filters are set on the gang for a chapter, and there is a point where Connan curses out Psaici, all covered with bleeps left to the imagination. Siki hears it loud and clear and begins bursting out in laughter.