Death Note the Abridged Series (kpts4tv)

"Light: I am...

L: I am...

Light & L: ...Team Co-Co!/Team Leno!

Ryuk: Hey guys, I'm Team Edward!

Light & L: Shut up..."

An Abridged Series by kpts4tv, mac_sly56 and Arkonid based upon Death Note. The 1st season consists of 14 episodes, including a parody music video. The 2nd season currently has 9 episodes. They also have had contests to encourage fan participation.

This series focuses on Light and how he is trying to get rid of any famous celebrities that he doesn't like, primarily teen idols. Like the original anime, he is also trying to become god of a new world. Light and L are pretty much the only smart ones in the series, but the side characters have quite a few memorable moments. Even the creators of the show have a power struggle throughout the series. Oh, and Matsuda is Australian.

"Mello: Yagami-san, me have your daughter. Me love her long time. That was racist of me, wasn't it? Sorry."
 * Abusive Parent: Souichiro Yagami seems really eager to get rid of his kids, he tries to crush Light's balls his ESP powers, and decides to rescue Sayu only because he believes that she's been impregnated with alien spawn and intends to sell her into medical experimentation.
 * After the End: When Souichiro arrives in what is supposed to be L.A. but it looks like the Arizona desert, he can only conclude it had already been destroyed by aliens.
 * Anal Probing: Mr. Yagami fears this happened to Sayu at the hands of the space aliens (a.k.a. The Mafia).
 * Anguished Declaration of Love: Light at
 * Armored Closet Gay: Well, Mr. Yagami is a homophobic Jerkass obsessed with "manliness." At one point he dressed up as Sailor Moon... and he hits on Ryuk.
 * Asian Gal With White Guy:

"Ryuk: ...now what you need to know about the Shinigami eye deal is...
 * Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny:

Light: (thinking) ...shoes... I need to get shoes..."

"Souichiro: We're killing too? BONUS!"
 * Axe Crazy: "innocent!Light" after he comes to believe that Higuchi slept with his girlfriend. Also:

"Light: No one is listening to you, Ryuk.
 * Bad Liar:

Sayu: What does Ryuk mean?

Light: Uh, It's my new name for you. It means Ke$ha in Japanese."

"Ryuk: But you just slaughtered fifteen people, and then laughed about it!
 * Higuchi is even worse. "What if say, hypothetically someone could kill another person with a diary..."
 * Bad Bad Acting:  Made even more hilarious since he had been calling for his blood moments before.
 * Big No: When L recovers a horrific repressed memory
 * Black Comedy:

Light: Yeah ... good times ... hahahaha."

"Ryuk: But if you give up the notebook you'll forget all about me.
 * Black Comedy Rape: Ryuk was molesting Light.
 * Brain Bleach: Light would really like some.

Light: GOOD!"

"Misa: That fire was pretty scary-the whole complex burned down! Those poor orphans!"
 * Bratty Half-Pint: Near
 * Brick Joke: "Wait a minute, I don't own a fridge."
 * Light's sexuality during his Memory Gambit.
 * "Here Ryuk, take back your dirty notebook."
 * Bring My Brown Pants: Rem scares the crap out of the Taskforce... and Light scares the crap out of Rem.
 * British Accents: Roger, Mello, and Near but esepcially Mello who would fit right into a Monty Python routine.
 * Buffy-Speak: Light at times.
 * Burn the Orphanage:

"Light: (*sighs*) Do yourself a favor. Hang up. Now.
 * Butt Monkey: Matsuda, Light, Rem, Sayu, Sidoh.
 * Camp Gay: Light, oh so much. And Namikawa.
 * Cannot Tell a Joke: Near, as demonstrated when prank calling Light.

Near: Okay. (*hangs up*) Hey guys, wasn't that hilarious?"

"Matsuda: Chief, doesn't your son use a computer?
 * Caught With Your Pants Down: When L beams everyone up, Soichiro complains about this.
 * Also, L informs Light that he has done this. Later, Light shouts out "You did not catch me with my pants down!" when meeting L.
 * Chains of Love: L refers to the handcuffs as "our friendship bracelets"
 * Cloudcuckoolander: L frequently has conversations with his snacks. Also Da Chief.
 * Comically Missing the Point: Da Chief

Chief: I don't understand what you're saying.

Matsuda: Chief, your son might be Kira.

Chief: I still don't understand what you're saying."

"Light: First I gotta get my stupid watch open. Aw, there we go...
 * Comically Small Bribe: Near offers to share the satellite feed if Light pays him in LEGOs.
 * Continuity Nod: L mentions Beyond Birthday.
 * Couldn't Find a Pen: When Light is  Hilarity Ensues:

L: What's that Light?

Light: Oh I'm just excited we caught Kira is all. Hey look, they're bringing him in right now... Ow!

L: Are you okay?

Light: Yeah I'm fin-OW! I'm okay OW! DAMMIT!

L: Light, do you need me to come over there?

Light: No, no. I'm okay. I'm just so happy that it hurts. Kinda like a little prick."

"Near: Light, everyone's dead... at my Clubhouse, everyone's dead.
 * Cower Power: Near after Mello kills most of his agents:

Light: What do you expect me to do about it?

Near: I need an adult.

Light: I’m hanging up now."

"L: Well Light, you're taking this rather well.
 * Crazy Jealous Guy: Ryuk towards Light
 * Later Light towards L. Light happily resumes his plan  after hearing that L "took Matsuda's innocence" after repeatedly rebuffing Light's advances.
 * Light towards Misa after Misa returns from her job interview and informs them all that she met a God in the bathroom.

Light: I'm gonna kill that son of *bleeeeeeeep*"

"Light: Hmmm I have two notebooks now. I only need one. I think the choice is obvious. Ryuk... after everything we've been through together... I'm going to keep Rem's."
 * Creepy Child: Near
 * Creepy Crossdresser: Misa begs Light to let her wear his lolita maid costume.
 * At one point Mr. Yagami dressed up as Sailor Moon.
 * Cross-Dressing Voices: Naomi has an overly masculine voice.
 * Da Chief
 * Depraved Bisexual: Ryuk. He was molesting Light and later he offers to join Misa when she goes to bed naked.
 * Ditzy Genius: Light. "Oh my God I forgot my death note!"
 * Does This Remind You of Anything?: When L's snacks "won't talk to him anymore" he mopes around headquarters like he's been through a bad breakup.
 * Dude Looks Like a Lady: in Da Chief's warped perceptions Ryuk is a trap. Upon meeting him Da Chief declares "goth girls are hot!"
 * Enemy Mine: Averted when Kira calls up Da Chief "Hey Dad, it's Light..."
 * Everybody Hates Mathematics: "No, it's not an Advanced Calculus book... it's far too merciful..."
 * Everybody's Dead, Dave: After Mello has all of Near's agents killed right in front of him.
 * Evil Laugh: Light of course.
 * Extreme Omnisexual: Ryuk. He'll hit that be it Light, Misa, or a dirty apple. There's also an awkward moment between Ryuk and Light's dad.
 * Filk Song: "It's a Dead World After All" and "Not Gay (They Just Wrote Me In That Way)"
 * Fire-Forged Friends: Subverted (for obvious reasons):

"Light: What are you, ten?
 * Foreshadowing
 * Freak-Out: Light at
 * Friendly Tickle Torture: apparently Light is very ticklish.
 * The Fun in Funeral: "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pee on the grave of a man who died unloved and hated by everyone."
 * Gangsterland: Light believes that this is all there is to Los Angeles.
 * Gayngst: Light is hit with this hard.
 * Get It Over With: Souichiro, on his death bed, calls Light a disgrace and tells him how he always hated him for being gay. Light is reduced to tears and begs his father to kill him, to write his name in the Death Note, but he won't do it.
 * Giggling Villain: again, Light.
 * Glad I Thought of It: Matsuda solves the Kira case. Everyone ignores him and Watari and L immediately repeat what he just said.
 * Growing Up Sucks: L took Matsuda's innocence!
 * Gun Nut: Da Chief. He's glad  because now he gets his gun back.
 * Harassing Phone Call: Near keeps prank calling Light. At one point asking for Amanda Hugankiss.
 * Hilariously Abusive Childhood: "I was only seven! Beyond Birthday NOOOOOOOOOO!"
 * Horrifying the Horror: Light literally scares the crap out of Shinigami.
 * Hypocritical Humor: when Light calls out Near for acting immature:

Near: I'm twelve!"

"Light: Alright everyone, I've been playing a lot of Modern Warfare 3—we can do this!"
 * I Ate What?: When Misa gives Ryuk an apple Ryuk offers Misa something in return...
 * I Have No Son: Mr. Yagami "I have two daughters."
 * I Have This Friend: Higuchi. "What if say, hypothetically someone could kill another person with a diary..."
 * I Know Mortal Kombat:

"L: Na na na na booboo, stick your head in doodoo."
 * I'm Going to Disney World: "So L, you caught Kira, what are you going to do now?"
 * I'm Standing Right Here: Mr. Yagami knows Light is listening in when he offers Light to Mello.
 * I Meant to Do That: "Yeah... everything went exactly... acording to plan... listen..."
 * I Shall Taunt You: Light objects to L's plan. L retorts that he's L and can do what he wants.

"Light: I have a question-why is it that whenever we want to work on the Kira investigation we always meet at my apartment?
 * If You Want Something Done Right Do It Yourself: Mello says this when he gets fed up with his pathetic minions.
 * Ignore the Fanservice:

Mr. Yagami: Oh, you'll see in just a second, Light.

Light: I just don't understand what could be so important...

Misa (in stripper-ware): Okay guys it looks like you have everything you need so I'm gonna go to bed now! Alone! Naked! And with the door unlocked! Bye!

Ryuk: I'll be right there my little apple pie.

Light: Yeah, I still don't see what the big deal is."

"Light: Misa, stop that! That tickles!"
 * Later when Misa snuggles up next to Light wearing nothing but a Black Bra and Panties:

"L: Seriously, you wrote your ransom note on Death Note paper?
 * Implausible Deniability: L proves that Light is obviously Kira. (No one on the taskforce cares.)

Light: But it was the only paper I could find... whoops I mean Sayu could find!"

"Light: Now Misa, we may be killers but we're not murderers. We're more like... custodians, cleaning up the filth of the world."
 * Insane Troll Logic: Light is worried about what might happen to his sister, having watched movies about what goes on in L.A. Mr. Yagami follows this train of "logic" and concludes that L.A. is going to get invaded by space aliens.
 * Insistent Terminology:

"Mr. Yagami: Good, because I already started the fire."
 * Instant Cosplay Surprise: Misa borrows Light's maid costume.
 * Insurance Fraud: When they find out how much money they could get for fire insurance the taskforce agrees they should burn the old HQ to the ground.

"L: Bad Light! No killing!"
 * It Amused Me: Near prank calling Light.
 * Jerkass: Near, Da Chief
 * Kaleidoscope Eyes: Misa's eyes: Blue, brown, blue, brown, blue, brown... RED!!!
 * Keeping Secrets Sucks: Light bemoans in his Inner Monologue about how all his relationships are based on secrets and lies!
 * Kid With the Leash:

" Light is Kira and Misa is the Second--
 * Kill It With Fire
 * Killed Mid-Sentence:

Souichiro: The second? The Second what? ...Oh my God, she's the Second Coming!"

"Souichiro: Light, I am your father.
 * Latin Land: ... in Guatemala
 * Love Dodecahedron: Ryuk is screwing Light, Light is in love with L, Misa stalks Light, Rem loves Misa and so did Gelus. Then during Light's  he went back into the closet and only worried about being a good boyfriend to Misa (who he is dating for other reasons that he can no longer remember) Misa then goes on to cheat on him with with Higuchi and Rem. Namikawa flirts with Light. L makes a passing mention of Beyond Birthday, Light suspected   that L was screwing Matsuda, and meanwhile L shows no interest in anyone except for maybe his snacks. Everyone but Light wants Misa (including Ryuk) and when Mello kidnaps Sayu, Mr. Yagami tries to get Mello to take Light as well. Ryuk was doing... something with an apple and Mr. Yagami flirts with Ryuk.
 * Love Makes You Evil / Love Makes You Crazy: Misa for Light and Light for L.
 * Luke, I Am Your Father:

Light: I know that dad."

"L: If you think was complete bull then clap your hands and shout 'I believe in faeries.' Ha! I was just kidding!   but I can still manipulate you people. We have all the footage of you acting like an idiot in front of your webcam. I win. But on a serious note if the fans get a few hundred likes up before the next episode I will"
 * Manipulative Bastard: L

"Light (to L): You gave me a footrub. How more blatant can you get?"
 * Mind Over Matter: Da Chief has the ESP power to crush balls with his mind.
 * Mistaken for Gay:

"Light: ...and then we can kill him, right?
 * Mistaken for Pedophile: The president has his people pick up Near by offering him candy and abducting him.
 * Motor Mouth: Naomi. Later Misa, much to Light's dismay.
 * Mr. Exposition: Aizawa called up Wammy's House and all he learned was Mello and Near's names, their faces, their motivations and their fears.
 * Mundane Made Awesome: Light eating potato chips and Mello eating chocolate.
 * Murder Is the Best Solution: the taskforce all agrees what needs to be done after "L took Matsuda's innocence."
 * My Girl Is Not a Slut: Light gets real jealous and protective of Misa during his  when he thinks he's straight and he thinks that Misa had sex with Higuchi. Hilarity Ensues.

L: No, Light we're not going to kill him.

Later :

Light: Put a headset on him-I want to talk to him. WHAT! DID YOU DO! TO MY GIRLFRIEND!!!"

"Light: Hey guys, the Shinigami's dead! I totally killed it! With magic powers that I totally have!"
 * Negative Continuity: "I thought I got rid of you."
 * The Nicknamer: Da Chief calls himself Master Chief, he takes to refering to Aizawa as "his son," and Light as his other daughter, and Mello is Lady Gaga.
 * Noodle Incident: Whatever happened in Guatemala...
 * Not a Date: L agrees to go out on a date with Light in order to get close to Sayu (his REAL Kira suspect).
 * Not Helping Your Case

"Raye Penber: So far all I have is from TV Tropes."
 * Not So Extinct: "Wow, a real live Shinigami! I thought they were all extinct!"
 * Oh Crap: Higuchi when Namikawa suggests, hypothetically speaking, that he didn't spell the victim's name right.
 * Ominous Latin Chanting
 * One Curse Limit: Subverted.
 * One of Us:

"Sidoh: I'm guessing Wammy's House doesn't do very good background checks."
 * Orphanage of Fear: Wammy's House

"Near: The passcode is 1-2-3-4-5.
 * Our Presidents Are Different: Of the President Buffoon variety. He sure does miss Cheney!
 * Overprotective Dad: When Matsuda looks at Sayu wrong Mr. Yagami crushes Matsuda's balls with his ESP powers. Subverted later when Mr. Yagami begs Mello to take his kids.
 * The Password Is Always Swordfish:

Director Mason: Huh? That's the same as on my luggage."

"Mr. Yagami: How about this? I'll give you the death note and you can take my other daughter for free!
 * Pity the Kidnapper: Mr. Yagami begs Mello to take his kids.
 * Politically Incorrect Hero: When Mello kidnaps Sayu, Mr. Yagami begs Mello to take his gay son as well.

Light: ... (*Death Glare*)

Mello: No, no! I don't want that! I just want the death note!

Mr. Yagami: What if I paid you?

Mello: I! do! not! want! Your! kids! Just the Death Note!"

"Light: Well, we've been outside talking for awhile and we've decided to make it official. I LOVE L! AND HE LOVES ME! I'm going to dump Misa so I can be with L!
 * Politically-Incorrect Villain: Mello
 * Porn Stash: on Da Chief's computer
 * Pyromaniac: Da Chief.
 * Rape and Switch: After the aforementioned incident with Ryuk; Light comes out of the closet.
 * Rapid-Fire "No": From the music video: "Denying's not enough / so you can copy Shia La Beouf"
 * Really Gets Around: Sayu. She reminisces with Matsuda about the time when he and Mogi were watching her while she was somehow doing sixteen guys at one time.
 * Relationship Reveal: Subverted...

Everyone: Gasp

L: No, I think you've misinterpreted the situation..."

"Mello: No... Near. You will not take this from me."
 * Repressed Memories: L uncovers a horrific repressed memory about Beyond Birthday... or rather
 * Reused Character Design: Lampshaded how Aiber and Wedy look like Raye and Naomi bleached blonde.
 * The Resenter:

"Mello: No Roger, I'm never going to work with him, ever! The first thing he did when he was born was he flipped me off!
 * The Rival:

Near: Mine's bigger."

"Matsuda: La la la la la I'm not listening!"
 * Running Gag: "Heh heh. Glitter." "Worst! Day! Ever!"
 * Sadist Show: Well it's Death Note made into a Comedy...
 * Sanity Slippage: Light after . And Mello after
 * Sarcasm Mode
 * Scary Shiny Glasses: Da Chief when using his ESP power to crush Matsuda's balls.
 * The Schizophrenia Conspiracy: L is really delusional, makes convoluted theories, and gets upset when his snacks stop talking to him. Later Da Chief seems to get this believing that the space aliens and the Death Eaters have teamed up with Lady Gaga to Take Over the World.
 * Selective Obliviousness: When L tells the taskforce that Light is Kira. (With solid evidence to back it up this time!)

"Light: Now I need a place to stay.
 * Misa refuses to acknowledge that Light is gay.

Misa: You want to move in with me? Yay!

Ryuk: Ha!

Light: I... *Sighs* this is the worst day ever!"

"Light: Wait, L has successors? I thought we were done with him! Oh I hope I don't have to go against the entire alphabet."
 * Sequel Escalation:

"Ryuk (to brooding Light): Did you want to talk about it?"
 * Sex Changes Everything:

"Light: I've won! muwahahaha! Oh by the way L that outfit looks amazing on you!"
 * Shipper On Deck: Mr. Yagami offers Light to Mello.
 * Shout-Out: to Pokémon, Shaman King, Fist of the North Star, The Lion King, Inspector Gadget, Star Trek, Twilight, Justice League, Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, Battle Los Angeles and the theme song is "I Can't Decide.", Light and the taskforce sing "Bohemian Rhapsody", Light tells Misa that "there can be only one", "Ooh Mad Libs!", "Your fridge is running." "Go Rem, fly! And do my bidding! Muwahahaha!", "Justice League Assemble!," Near asks for Amanda Hugankiss, the passcode is 1-2-3-4-5, and new rule of the Death Note: "Klaatu Barada Nikto" does not mean "we come in peace" especially when said by Keanu Reeves. Also the title of every episode is named ater a movie or pop culture reference. "Whatever happened to that missle?" *the Death Star explodes*, and the mafia guy in the gimp mask speaks like Kenny. The truth is out there, Master Chief, "Seek and destroy!", and then there's Da Chief's final words about MANLINESS and his theme song...
 * Sissy Villain: Light, full stop. Mello takes this Up to Eleven.
 * The Slacker: "Dude!" Aizawa sounds like he's perpetually high, man!
 * The Snack Is More Interesting: L frequently talks to his snacks (and they talk back) while the rest of the taskforce are trying to talk to him about the Kira case.
 * Stalker Without a Crush: Near towards Light "the fake L"... or maybe with a crush... Near keeps pestering Light with Harassing Phone Calls, asks him for "Amanda Hugankiss" and when Near is traumatized Light is the first person he calls.
 * Strawman News Media: Apparently it was Demegawa not Murdoch that was behind the creation of Fox News.
 * Stringy Haired Ghost Guy:  "I'm haunting you."
 * Suddenly Sexuality: When Light relinquishes his Kira memories he abruptly goes back in the closet and when he regains his memories...

"Higuchi: What's the point of having minions if they don't do your work for you! I should be watching the Home Shopping Network in my underware but NO, I have to go out and commit a murder!"
 * Surrounded By Idiots:

"Light: L, why?! Why did you leave me?! Why did you leave me alone with these IDIOTS! *sobbing* And... yeah, I'm over it now."
 * And:

"Mello: I asked you to bring me Sayu Yagami. A 17 year old girl. Does this look like a 17 year old girl to you?
 * Also when Mello's mafia minions kidnap an old grey-haired guy...

Minion 1: No...

Minion 2: Yes."

"Naomi:
 * Suspiciously Apropos Music: "I Can't Decide / whether you should live or die..." "You think you can love me and leave me to die..." and "Don't Stop Me Now..."
 * Take That, Audience!
 * Talking to Themself
 * Television Geography: Lampshaded. Apparently Los Angeles is an empty desert with great mesas and canyons.
 * Tempting Fate:

Light: Yeah, like that would ever happen."

"Light: It's been five years and no sightings of 's ghost. I think I'm in the clear.
 * And:



Light: Dammit!"

"Light: I can just sit back and have the taskforce do my dirty work for me. There is no way this could possibly go wrong..."
 * Also:

"Roger: Wait, I thought of a great idea for a TV series! You two should work together! It would be like the Odd Couple except with kids chasing dangerous criminals! One of you will probably die though.
 * Theme Music Power-Up: "Don't Stop Me Now..."
 * They Fight Crime:



"Light: *looking at porn* Oh, that girl's got a pretty ... face ... OH, check out that hot guy in the backgroun-uh, I mean, check out those classifed files in the background ...
 * Toilet Humor
 * Too Much Information
 * Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: Mr. Yagami begs Mello to kidnap Light as well. Also Da Chief got kicked out of the Death Eaters because he insisted on using a gun.
 * Took a Level In Dumbass: Light
 * Transparent Closet: Light: "Raye Penber, I couldn't help but notice....* sniff*  your hair smells like strawberries."
 * And then there's the Music Video. (Warning: severe AutoTune ahoy)

Ryuk: Gay."

"Light: As for Misa's Death Note, I'll keep it in the only place I know it will be safe—my pants.
 * As L comments, "It's very creative how you dot your 'i's with hearts."
 * Trouser Space:

Misa: Oh, it'll be safe there! Light doesn't even let me in his pants!

Ryuk: You're not missing anything."

"Light (Glowing Eyes of Doom): I loved you L and you smashed my heart into a million pieces. I will never love again.
 * The Unfavorite: Mr. Yagami begs Mello to kidnap Light (his "other daughter") too.
 * And then after Sayu  Souichiro is considering cutting his loses.
 * The Unintelligible: Ukita, but for the grace of subtitles. Also the mafia guy in the gimp mask that sounds like Kenny.
 * Unusually Uninteresting Sight: During the raid on Mello's base, no one finds it odd that Light has a Shinigami. "Did my ugly assistant arrive yet?"
 * Unrequited Love Lasts Forever
 * Unusual Euphemism: Apples.
 * The Vamp: Light's initial plan to "rescue Misa" was to seduce L.
 * Victim Falls For Rapist: Light with Ryuk.
 * Villainous Breakdown: Light after
 * "Well Done, Son" Guy: Light with his father.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?: Light got busted by the Fashion Police.
 * Why Couldn't You Be Different?: Da Chief, on his death bed, calls Light a disgrace and tells him how he always hated him for being gay.
 * Why Didn't You Just Say So?: Misa doesn't understand "big words" like "yammering."
 * Yandere: Light towards L.

Ryuk: Light, uh... you're scaring me.

Light: Oh Ryuk, I haven't even begun to scare you yet!"


 * Yaoi Guys: Ryuk and Light
 * Your Mom