The Darker Knight

""It is time to kill Too-Face and let happenus come.""

- Brucce Waine

The Darker Knight is a self admitted Batman Troll Fic by Cafe Hoax Zest, (revealed at the end to be an anagram of Zacoftheaxes, his common online username.). It starts out with Batman finding out that he's been accused of murder, and teams up with his suddenly appearing cousin "Betty Waine," aka Batcousin, to find the real culprit, Two-Face (or Too-Face, as he's regularly called in the story). From there the plot steadily becomes more and more insane - and hilarious. Features the appearance of more random celebrities than you can shake a stick at.

The fic itself can be found here, while a dramatic reading can be found here.

"Batman: "I am coming Cousin and nowe I shall win because good wins because evill isn't good and you are evil right now being. Prepair to fail.""
 * Aborted Arc - In the very beginning, Batman was accused of crimes that Two-Face committed. This is quickly forgotten about.
 * And That's Terrible - A lot of characters love to talk about how "bad" things are.

"Batcousin then grabe gun and enoby blade ans say "Riddler means there has zombies coming and now we must go find them because zombies are bad.""
 * Animate Inanimate Object - After a news brief on Batcousin's misandrist rampage, the TV itself suddenly comes to life and joins the good guys.
 * Also, a random helicopter can talk.
 * You Fail Biology Forever - In Chapter 1, Batman uses the Batarang on Two-Face, and it hits only "nonvital organs"...like his intestines and liver.
 * Back From the Dead - Villains randomly die and just as randomly come back later.
 * Battle Butler - Alfred.
 * Bat Deduction - Well, this IS both a Batman fic and a Troll Fic.


 * Beige Prose
 * The Cameo - LOTS, most of them As Himself
 * Tom Anderson (as "Tom from Myspace")
 * Justin Bieber
 * Cannibal Corpse
 * Miley Cyrus (as Hannah Montana)
 * Darth Vader
 * Andy Dufresne (as Andy "Dufraine")
 * Tyler Durden
 * Gordon Freeman (takes Commissioner Gordon's place)
 * John Freeman
 * Morgan Freeman
 * The Jonas Brothers
 * Charles Foster Kane
 * Liam Neeson
 * Barack Obama
 * The Punisher
 * The Question
 * Rorschach
 * Will Smith
 * Keyser Söze (as "Kaiser Soze")
 * ...And Zoidberg
 * Chainmail Bikini - Batcousin's Bat Bikini
 * Chuck Cunningham Syndrome - After Chapter 6, Tom Anderson goes to the hospital and isn't heard from again after that.
 * Cruel and Unusual Death - Batcousin gets rid of Killer Croc by throwing him into a blender.
 * Also, Miley Cyrus's death.
 * Department of Redundancy Department - Not only do the characters repeat themselves at times, the Freeman brothers have a rather...repetitive conversation with Killer Croc in Chapter 2.
 * Does Not Like Guns - Batcousin (she prefers RPGs instead!)
 * Dirty Communists - "Commissioner" is spelled "Communist" a few times.
 * Everything's Deader with Zombies - The final story arc.
 * Gendercide - Batcousin and the female villians (plus Justin Bieber) decide to do this after rescuing Morgan Freeman, Tom Anderson, and various musicians.
 * Heel Face Revolving Door - Batcousin turns on everybody after Morgan Freeman is saved, but then becomes good again after being bopped on the head by a brick.
 * Heel Face Turn - Bane (after recovering from having his head blown off) decides to help Batman fight against Batcousin's war on men (and guns).
 * How Do I Used Tense
 * Hypocritical Humor - Batcousin declares war on men and guns because she believes that they are to blame for all of the violence and destruction in the world, but women never kill anybody. Cue women trying to kill people. With guns.
 * Insane Troll Logic - The entire fic runs on this, but an in-universe example would be Batcousin's sudden decision to declare war on men.
 * Long List - So many people join in the fight against Zombie Joker that the last few chapters are mostly a laundry list of good guys.
 * Made of Iron - The good guys.
 * Made of Explodium - The villains! They usually recover, though.
 * More Dakka - EVERYBODY, including the TV!
 * Most Common Superpower - Batcousin has breasts "the size of melons that had vitemin d milk."
 * My Friends and Zoidberg - Done literally here, as Zoidberg actually shows up at the final battle (and is always mentioned last)!
 * One-Hit Kill - Happens a lot to the bad guys, sometimes multiple times.
 * One-Winged Angel - Two-Face becoming Four-Face.
 * Also, Zombie Joker absorbing the other zombies and becoming Death Joke.
 * Parody Sue - Batcousin
 * Random Events Plot
 * Redemption Equals Death - The Joker decides to help Batman rescue Morgan Freeman...before he's randomly gunned down by the cops.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin - Played for Laughs
 * Shout-Out - Did we mention the immense amount of cameos, yet?
 * In 2010, war was beggining.
 * "We can't stop here." Jokore say. "This is Batman country".
 * At the end of the story, Batman does his impression of Horatio Caine complete with music.
 * The end of chapter 2 ends with lines lifted from Bohemian Rhaspody
 * Spontaneous Human Combustion - In Chapter 2, the Joker catches fire just by getting kicked.
 * Suit-Up of Destiny - In Chapter 7. It involves Batman putting on another suit, Bane growing another head, the TV playing Die Hard and Rambo while grabbing a weapon, and Alfred putting a banana on his head
 * Take a Third Option - Riddler and Riddlercousin try to trick Batman with one only telling lies and ones only telling the truth. Batman says they're both lying, and they randomly fall over dead.
 * Take That - While most of the villians die a random, quick death (and wind up coming right back), Miley Cyrus is brutally killed and stays gone.
 * Troll Fic - Admitted at the end.
 * What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?
 * Zombie Apocalypse - Zombie Joker tries to create one.