FaCe ThE StRaNgE/YMMV

"They tuned it on and the Special Olympics was on. There was a boy/little girl tansvesite THING on the Telly and it had greasy barack hair and a butt chin and was ugly and clearly the most retarded of them all. It was flopping around like a crazy penis because it’s the most retardedest and cant right write."
 * Accidental Innuendo: Loads and loads.
 * Alas Poor Scrappy: Bella's death to Twilight haters, even though she's The Woobie here.
 * Alternative Character Interpretation: The main characters themselves- are they truly the heroes who are saving Hogwarts from Dumbledore, or are they Complete Monster Villain Protagonists who are merely using as a cover so they can inflict sadistic Body Horror without any punishment since they're the "good guys?"
 * Angst What Angst: Professor Skeleton's Skellington's reaction to finding Snape's and Bella's corpses? "Now we will need a new teacher again."
 * Big Lipped Alligator Moment: Jack's Bi the Way moment comes out of nowhere and is never referenced again.
 * Jack suggests making Edward the new potion-making teacher after the infamous deaths of Snape and Bella. This is never brought up again.
 * In Chapter 9, the chapter illustration is a screencap from Star Wars the Clone Wars. It has nothing to do with the chapter at all.
 * In Chapter 13, Link turns on the television and completely breaks from the plot to mock a DeviantArt user who is placed in the Special Olympics in this story and insulted as "a boy/little girl tansvesite THING on the Telly and it had greasy barack hair and a butt chin and was ugly and clearly the most retarded of them all."
 * Bile Fascination
 * Black Hole Sue: Everyone drops anything if anything happens with Dally and later baby Shadow. Also, every male wants to get into Dally's pants, human or otherwise.
 * Canon Defilement
 * Designated Hero: The main characters kill Bella because she is being raped by Snape, for starters.
 * Designated Villain: Hagrid doesn't do anything in the story and still suffers a Cruel and Unusual Death. Also, Bella, while not neccessarily a "villain" in the story, is still antagonized when she is a rape victim.
 * Die for Our Ship: Bella, which is pretty much a given in any Edward x Author Avatar story, even though Dally ends up with Hiei anyway.
 * Draco in Leather Pants: Draco himself and Shadow, who are nothing like their canon selves.
 * Hilariously enough, Draco is referred to as "evil" in his biography.
 * Dude Not Funny: Sprinkled throughout the fic, but this one stands out even then:

"Della was at a lost for words. She was a virgin and did not know about dicks and it was her first time having a penis."
 * Family Unfriendly Aesop: Hey kids- if you get pregnant at a young age while still in school via a full-grown stranger, you'll be rich enough to buy a mansion and be loved by all!
 * Fridge Horror: In Twilight, vampires had to eat humans to gain red eyes. Dally has bright scarlet eyes in every drawing of her. How does she keep them that bright of a red?
 * Gary Stu/God Mode Sue: Baby Shadow, who makes Renesmee look like a realistic infant.
 * Ham and Cheese: Especially later on.
 * Les Yay: Could also double as Bi the Way:

"She wanted him to come back and see treason, because she saw from the way Bella’s eyes were gourged out that she did not know, but then she remembered Bella was a cunt and told Edward, “I think we should kill them both…”"
 * Mary Sue: Dally, naturally. She's a vampire, a witch, has mutant powers, every boy wants to get into her pants, everyone loves her, her mother is Mystique, and her son is perfect in every way. She's Black hole Relationship Jerk Sue, used so that the author can bang every guy in every fandom she knows about.
 * Her biography even says under powers: "Vampire powers, witch powers, can heal wounds fast (more to come)"
 * Memetic Mutation: On the Face The Strange forum, quite a few people have "tumors" in their username, especially relating to Edward.
 * The vast majority of the Rouge Angles of Satin and Narmy quotes became memetic on the forums, and to a lesser extent on some other sites.
 * Moral Event Horizon: Any chance of liking Dally is squashed by this little bit:

"“youre my honey bunch sugar puff"
 * Nausea Fuel
 * No Yay: Among Dally's "dream cast" in the Maury portion is Shadow. It's never clarified whether it's her son or the hedgehog, but considering the latter was Killed Off for Real...
 * Possession Sue: Hiei is twisted into a sex-hungry Love Interest who lives to screw Dally.
 * Purity Sue: Dally can do no wrong and is loved by all.
 * Relationship Sue: Dally as the stand-in, vicariously-living-through variety, who is a vampire witch who is loved by all. For the perfect significant other flavor, there's Hiei, who has basically been derailed into a personified sex toy.
 * Rescued From the Scrappy Heap: This is one of those rare stories where you actually will be rooting for and pitying Bella, no matter what you think of her in Twilight.
 * Romantic Plot Tumor: The normal "kill Dumbledore" plot is crummy enough, but the Love Triangle involving Dally, Hiei, and Edward (and later Bill, too) grabs the fic and drags it as far down as possible.
 * Ron the Death Eater: Dumbledore is the Big Bad. Yes, that Dumbledore.
 * Snape. Not only is he turned into a rapist, he also attempts to rape LILY, showing yet again that Dally couldn't give a crap for canon.
 * Edward is a borderline case- he acts like an even bigger Jerkass than his worst moments in Twilight and pulls a Face Heel Turn eventually. The author seems to like him, though... Evil Is Sexy, perhaps?
 * Rooting for The Empire: Granted, the villains aren't the most moral, but somehow they're less monstrous than the "good guys." It's really picking the lesser of two evils- the Dirty Old Man who tried to (and failed to) rape a handful of boys, or a group of people who murdered quite few characters and gave one of the most sadistic Groin Attacks in the history of fanfiction?
 * The Scrappy: Although everyone in the story is hated to a certain extent, Dally takes the cake. Even her offspring is given a little forgiveness due to pointblank being called a "hellspawn" in the story.
 * Squick
 * Straw Man Has a Point: When Bella's introduced, she's giving a speech about how teen pregnancy is "illegal." If you take "illegal" to mean "not a good thing," she has a point - especially when Delly winds up on the Maury show at the end of the story.
 * Tastes Like Diabetes: Some of the biography and chapter pictures are cutesy chibis. It wouldn't be so bad if it contrasted the feel of the story so much.
 * Shadow's song for Dally when she's in the hospital waiting to give birth.

"Hubby ubby umpkins"

"Youre my sweetie pie"

"Youre my cuppy cake gumdrop"

"Shnoogum boogum you're"

"The apple of my eye…”"

"“I have em now,” Bellatricks said through a walkie-talkie to Dum. An dMyst. (abbreviated for faster)."
 * They Just Didn't Care: Especially after Shadow's birth, as shown by the author lazily shortening names and lampshading it.

"Dally started to cry… why was he being so mean to her? She thought."
 * Uncanny Valley: The only way to describe this image from Chapter 8.
 * Unfortunate Implications: Aside from the many homophobic messages, there's Shadow's funeral, where they light him on fire... Which is how he died initially. Respect for the dead much?
 * Dally gets a second Teen Pregnancy with a grown man, to boot. So how does she learn her lesson? By getting freaking rich from him having to pay her, of course!
 * So, Bella's kidnapped, blinded and raped by Snape, and she thinks it's Edward. Considering this Edward, this says something about their relationship.
 * There's also the occasional anti-Semitic slur in the latter half of the story.
 * Wangst: We're expected to pity Dally, even though most of what she views as "misfortunes" are actually her being a selfish little man-hogger.


 * Duh, I don't know, maybe because you keep trying to seduce him and claim he's yours only to cockblock him?
 * What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made On Drugs?: Especially the chapters after they leave Hogwarts onward.
 * The Woobie: Bella, of all people. She pretty much loses Edward to Dally, who flops between him and Hiei. She has fingers pointed at her for being mad at Edward for liking Dally, but no one has problems with Dally going back and forth between guys. Then, she's kidnapped by Snape, raped, and she dies. The biggest kick of all? After all that, Dally chooses Hiei anyway, making Bella's loss meaningless.
 * She thought Snape was Edward, so the fic tries to make Bella look bad for enjoying being screwed by another guy even though she was blinded and had no clue what was happening. Oh, but if Dally goes to Hiei over Edward or vice versa? She's still a perfect little angel!
 * Hagrid, to a lesser extent, if only for his Cruel and Unusual Death, especially since he's never shown to actually be helping Dumbledore in raping and is only noted to be his sex partner.