Sorry, Ociffer...

"I swear to drunk I'm not God."

An intoxicated character is interacting with a police officer, generally as a result of a traffic stop. They are clearly impaired, but are trying to act as if they aren't. Expect an Alcohol Hic or two.

A Suspiciously Specific Denial which almost always leads to Hypocritical Humor. Needless to say, often times it is Truth in Television.

Advertising

 * Seen in PSAs about not driving drunk. All of the people pulled aside have their cars filled with some kind of alcoholic drink (beer, red wine, or a martini complete with olives) and otherwise couldn't be more obvious about being intoxicated.
 * One of those PSAs has a drunk motorcyclist, with his helmet full of booze. Don't ask.

Anime and Manga

 * England gets drunk in Axis Powers Hetalia: "You don't know me! I'm the United bloody Kingdom and I can hild my loquer better than you any day!"

Film
"Littering and... littering aaaaand... ...smokin' the reefer."
 * In The Man With Two Brains, Dr Hfuhruhurr is stopped by a traffic cop while attending a conference in Austria; when asked if he has been drinking, he replies "No, I dron't dink... don't drink".
 * In Super Troopers, some state troopers pull over some kids. The kids had to get rid of the drugs, so one of them eats all their weed before they throw out what was left. The troopers notice this, and play mind games to screw with the stoners before the arrest. (And after.)


 * In North by Northwest, Cary Grant's character is force-fed a quart of bourbon and put behind the wheel of a car on a cliffside road to kill himself. He manages to escape his foes, but gets caught by the police. At the station he absolutely admits that he's drunk, but can't get them to believe the circumstances.
 * Withnail and I, the "GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN!" scene.

Literature
""If in trouble with the law, do not try to be funny. My own father was pulled over for drunk driving. He said 'I admit I've been driving but I'm perfectly fit to drink.' This Did Not Go Down Well. He might have done better if he hadn't been wearing a 'Free the Tottenham Three' T-shirt.""
 * In one of the Teenage Worrier books, Letty offers this advice;

Live-Action TV
"Leo: Is there a problem, Ociffer? Cop: Did you just call me... ociffer?"
 * Zane does this in Eureka after crashing a flying scooter thing.
 * Several Chappelle's Show skits show various reactions to this. In one instance, the stoned driver convinced the cop to smoke his weed, and then sped off.
 * That '70s Show

Music

 * Comedian/folksinger Martin Pearson gives a detailed (and hilarious) description of this happening to him, leading to his arrest, in the introduction to "The Wine Song" on the album Too Close for Comfort.

Radio
"Officer: (blows into the breathalyzer to show how it's done) Where's that on the scale? Driver: It's right off the scale. Officer: You're pissed as a newt!"
 * One of the more famous routines by the Royal Canadian Air Farce (collected in "Air Farce Live") has the officer on the scene just as drunk as the driver he pulled over.

Recorded and Stand Up Comedy

 * Bill Hicks had a joke about talking with a policeman while on LSD.
 * Change drunk to stoned and you get part of Robin Williams at the Met.

Theatre

 * Happens with the drunk driver in the play Money Talks. She staggers onto the stage clutching a steering wheel and tries to tell the court she is "as jober as a sudge".

Video Games

 * In True Crime: New York City, if the player hassles pedestrians and subjects them to unwarranted pat downs, some people may refer to you as "ociffer" as a snide insult.
 * Sierra's Police Quest I has the player character (a traffic cop) pull over a drunk man who is a textbook example of this trope, "ociffer" and all.

Western Animation
"Boba Fett: It's alright, I always drunk better when I'm driiiiiiiiiiive!"
 * In The Boondocks episode Mr. Medicinal, Grandad is high on marijuana, when he is pulled over by an officer, Officer Douche. While cracking up, he tries to pronounce it Officer Douché (doo-SHAY) while faking innocence to win over the cop. The officer corrects him that it is indeed Douche, before eventually arresting him.
 * The Simpsons: In the season four episode "Duffless," Barney and Homer drive home drunk from a tour of the Duff Brewery. Their car gets pulled over and Homer is forced out the car and made to balance on one foot, touch his nose, and sing "The ABC Song" (with the ending "...won't you come and play with me?" instead of "Tell me what you think of me?" which was also acceptable). Homer does a good job... Until Barney asked Eddie and Lou to use the Breathalyzer. Homer gets arrested, while Barney gets away scot-free—and ends up knocking Chief Wiggum (in a beer stein costume) down a hill, where he merrily rolls until he hits a tree and blows up.
 * South Park: "What seems to be the officer, problem?"
 * Robot Chicken: From one of the Star Wars specials:


 * American Dad: An inebriated Francine gets pulled over by a cop, who she refers to as "Pig Fucker". Turns out his name is Officer Figpucker.

Real Life

 * The reason Andre the Giant was never charged with chasing four guys, and flipping their car over with all four in it. Would you believe four drunk guys ranting about an angry giant?
 * One of the drunken Youtube Mexicans of the day was an extremely drunken girl who vehemently denied being drunk and claimed that it was the tree that hit her.