User:SelfCloak/Quotes

Quotes
""The Internet has brainwashed these teenagers, to the point where that's all they talk about when they're not on it. If only this wasn't accurate...""

- YourMovieSucks, Megan is Missing review

"''"Maybe our bear needs to sit quietly, eat his berries and honey, maybe then he would just be left alone. But no. They'll always be trying to put him on a chain. As soon as they do that, they'll pull out his teeth and claws.""

- Vladimir Putin (translated), Putin's 15 years: A presidential retrospective (RT)

""''[...] [H]old managers accountable for mismanagement. Any manager who leads his team into a death march has failed his employees, his superiors, and his company's investors. He has not done the job he was hired to do, which is to deploy the company's resources intelligently and profitably. We've all been to those triumphant post-ship meetings where these so-called "leaders" got big praise and a bigger bonus check as a reward for wreaking havoc on the health and personal lives of their employees. That's a perverse feedback loop, which perpetuates an abusive system. Any manager who put her team through more than a month of pre-ship crunch to get the product out the door should be getting a pink slip, not a promotion.""

- Evan Robinson, It's Not Just Abusive, It's Stupid

"''"DONT WORRY! This is the last time you will see any weeb shit in my videos. JUST KIDDING, I"M PUTTING MY WAIFUS IN ALLLLL MY VIDEOS AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU CAN SCUK MY DIIICK TILL ITS RAW""

- Video description of Flippy 's 癌癌癌 HONG KONG 97 癌癌癌 (Review)

"Alex (IHE): Ah, such a reductive way of looking at things is the "Oh, someone in Africa could have had that!" mentality. Ruben: Yeah, someone in Africa could have eaten that toy. (Alex laughs)"

- Trying to Watch: Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas

""Forget those apps that help you navigate home or communicate with your significant others. They have always been worthless. Repeated failure and human dismemberment are what's important in life.""

- Jim Bonacci, on Happy Wheels's success in the IOS app store (tongue-in-cheek), Happy Wheels iOS deep thoughts

""When you have to label the President of the United States in big letters on his coat, you know something's wrong.""

- Gerald Ford: The Man No One Could Caricature

""I know this is our bad guy right now, but this Christian company apparently is like, 'We do not advocate letting Jesus actually take the wheel, please pull over if you want to use your cell phone.'""

- The Bible Reloaded, Atheists Watch "War Room"

""Now, even AFI has fallen victim to modern music's addiction to reverb. 'Cover up bland songwriting! Cover uninteresting vocals! All with this magical, mystical effect!'""

- Anthony Fantano (The Needle Drop), in his review of Burials by AFI

""[T]he visual novel medium is intriguing to me both as a reader and as a writer. With music and visuals, they enhance the experience of the text significantly, sometimes astronomically, allowing us to connect more directly with the characters within.""

- Paul Blank (Maekir Vilemist), comment on Why Are Visual Novels Becoming Popular? by The Anime Man

""Her performance reminded me of Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending: a lot of slow... methodical talking... with occasional outbursts!""

- Chris Stuckmann on Emily Blunt's acting in The Huntsman: Winter's War, from his review of the film

""Welcome to the jungle, baby. We got fun and games. Actually this is a lie. We have neither of those things, nor running water or electricity. Why would anybody want to live in the jungle anyway? What an absolutely dreadful place to take residence in.""

- From Edward Elric's official state title certificate, Nullmetal Alchemist Episode 7

""It's funny to think how we listen to Yellow Submarine in kindergarten, when in reality all four of the Beatles were high as shit when they wrote it.""

- Urban Dictionary on The Beatles

"Detective Cromwell (to Killer Bean): "You see, I'm bound by the law. I've been working this Cappuccino case for over three years. Every time we think we have something on him, his lawyers get in the way and get him out. Heh. I wish I was like you. I wish I could just walk up to him and shoot him. But I can't.""

- Killer Bean Forever

"I wish I found some better sounds no one's ever heard I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words I wish I found some chords in an order that is new I wish I didn't have to rhyme every time I sang"

- twenty one pilots, "Stressed Out"

""Nintendo has pissed off the Internet again, this time by charging for a video game [on a mobile device]. Can you believe a company wants to make money?""

- Video description, Nintendo vs Mobile Gamers - A Dose of Buckley

""By the way, did you hear from an unnamed source, from another unnamed source, from a third unnamed source that's really close to the project that Deadpool is going to be in Logan, that Power Rangers are going to be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Fast and Furious is going to crossover with Transformers? It's true! I read it on a blog, it has to be true! What, you mean to tell me that an unofficial news source would make up an entire story just for me to click on their website that's filled with advertisements? That's insane! I believe everything the internet tells me!" Andre "Black Nerd", WORST OF 2016 - Black Nerd RANTS"

""[...] [I]deas are cheap. They're easy to think of without facing the problems of implementing them.""

- Joseph Anderson, ActRaiser - An in-depth look at one of the Super Nintendo's first games

""Smash that dislike button, kids! We're shitting on Nintendo again.""

- RickyFTW, Will the NINTENDO SWITCH Completely FLOP!? - T.U.G.S.

""This week in tech news: everyone's getting sued, fined or sent to jail. You're getting sued! You're getting fined! You're all going to jail. Look under you chair right now: it's a court summons. You have been served, have a nice day.""

- EliotETC, Facebook SUED! Oculus Rift STOLEN?! - TechNewsDay

Web Forums
"''"I can understand the sentiment of getting upset with the overuse of the "something bad happens to a female character to motivate love interest/father/brother/friend to act" trope, but it's the freaking Killing Joke. Joker doesn't shoot Barbara because she was Batgirl, he shot her because she was Gordon's daughter. He didn't strip her and take photographs to be a perv, it was all meant to try and break the commissioner. To show Batman that the only thing that separates sanity from the Joker is one bad day.

It wasn't like she was stuffed in a fridge or the various other ways female characters have been killed over the years (Ultimate Wasp being eaten!?), and it's not like The Killing Joke was the end of the character. DC took her and remade her into Oracle, showing she could be awesome in spite of her disability to the point there are people pissed her disability was fixed in the New 52. And it allowed other female characters to replace her as Batgirl, some of which have pretty devoted followings.""

- Kamen Rider Black RX on Andrew Dobson's reaction to the Killing Joke animated adaptation, Kiwi Farms thread

"''"This [The SEGA Mega Classics Hub] reminds me of some of the things Sega did that helped the Genesis become big (situations where they decided to collaborate rather than fight). Sega partnered with Blockbuster to promote renting Genesis games and consoles, while Nintendo was fighting Blockbuster in court to ban or limit rentals (which allowed many Americans to tryout the console). ''EA had programmers crack the Genesis cartridge lockout in order to publish games more freely, and rather than taking EA to court, Sega negotiated with them a different licensing deal (which would lead to EA Sports games becoming system sellers for the Genesis). Nintendo spent years fighting Tengen in court when they did something similar. ''While Nintendo was mostly against videogame ratings systems and censored their games in response to political pressure, Sega was willing promote videogame ratings and created their own rating system, which eventually led to the industry standard rating system we have today."

- dim891 on SEGA Mega Classics Hub allowing custom ROMs on Steam Workshop, Reddit thread

"lets be honest. vaporwave is only a concept. a stupid gimmick. how long can you go with the same fucking gimmick? [...] even vektroid said it was a joke. we took the joke with passion because it was an interesting idea. it was more than chopped and screwed slowed down songs. it had atmosphere and image. but the progress made is going back to being a joke. maybe it always was."

- ssnayuxx, David Russo's Drunken Rampage (The Owner of Dream Catalogue) (Reddit /v/vaporwave thread)

"[...] [Christian Weston Chandler] is arguably one of the most well documented people in human history. His entire life is on the internet from his childhood up until today, and we fill in more of the blank spots all the time. Imagine googling your name and seeing that. Imagine embarrassing photos you took ending up on fucking TV and shit. Imagine being followed and harassed relentlessly by a bunch of weens. Imagine every time you meet somebody you find out they were actually fucking with you and don't actually like you.

For 10 goddamn years.

That would do a number on anybody's mental health, never mind a guy who wasn't all that healthy to begin with."

- feedtheoctopus, "Is Chris Getting Worse?" (Kiwi Farms thread)

Web Text
""Alzheimer's is the ultimate pirate, pillaging a person's life and leaving an empty landscape behind. It sweepe up entire families, forcing everyone to claw their way through overwhelming grief, confusion, helplessness, and anger. Perhaps for your comedy you would like to visit some dementia facilities. I have — I didn’t find anything comedic there, and my hope would be that if you’re a decent human being, you wouldn’t either."'"

- Patti Davis, daughter of the late Ronald Reagan, An Open Letter to Will Ferrell (via The Daily Beast)

""In an internet-centric world, an age of diminished returns where millions live their lives as if they’re dealing with undiagnosed cases of agoraphobia, Bruce Springsteen is an anachronism. Experiencing life, romance, and many of the other things he used to sing about requires disconnecting from the grid, leaving the house or your local java emporium/internet cafe, and feeling the wind in your face, the pavement under your wheels, and a swelling in your heart. You just can’t get that from MySpace or YouTube, even with a vivid imagination and enough Class 1 narcotics to stagger a Clydesdale.""

- OttoLuck, in his review of Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen (Rate Your Music)

""During the chorus of "Locked Out Of Heaven", I was thinking "Oh my god, it's happened, music on the radio is actually fantastic." Then as the next song ["Gorilla"] began, I came back down and realized, no, no it isn't.""

- HTiger, in his review of Unorthodox Jukebox by Bruno Mars (Rate Your Music)

Web Comments
"NoNameJohnson9000: I wish I was TOKiMONSTA's best friend. Most people talk about fucking but I'd love to pull an allnighter with her on Ableton Live! supercooled: And then fuck, right?"

- YouTube comments on Sounds Like...TOKiMONSTA

""He'll be so Presidential, you won't believe how Presidential he can be. He'll be the most Presidential President ever. More than any Presendent before or after him. And boring. Don't forget boring. He'll be the most boring person to ever live on Earth. Nobody does boring better than him. Nobody In the Solar System. Just wait until you see how Presidential and boring he'll be.""

- A Facebook comment on Show's Over? Trump Pledges To Be 'So Presidential You Will Be So Bored', NPR Facebook post

VNs
"Rise: The reason I wander, night after night. It's because I've been searching for the right type of man. Masaya: 'The right type of man'? Rise: A man like you, Masaya-san."

- Princess Evangile

"''"Don't worry! I'll be gentle. I'll kill you slowly... so, so slowly. ''After all, I lo... ''...athe, loathe, loathe, loathe, loathe, loathe, loathe, despise, despise, despise, despise, despise, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate... ...HATE you so much that I just CAN'T STAND IT! I hate you so much that I want to slaughter you! Ahaha... ahahahahaha!""

- Ayano, Mix Ore

"Well-endowed cat girls. Sex jokes. Faceful’s of women’s underwear. Bad grammar. Truly, Sakura Spirit has a little bit of everything."

- Hardcore Gamer review.

"Kenji: So uh... how is that practical again? Kyo: What do you mean? Kenji: Well, [Rose's] armor seemed kind of- Michelle: It isn't meant to be armor. It's a type of flexible attire that can bend and morph itself to match your body's current shape. She just happened to design it after a suit of armor. Trust me, I find it to be just as ridiculous as you do."

- Time Tenshi