A Chorus Line/Funny

"" I used to love to give garage recitals. Bizarre recitals. This one time I was doing Frankenstein as a musicale and I spray painted this kid silver -- all over. They had to rush him to the hospital. 'Cause he had that thing when your pores can't breathe... he lived 'cause luckily I didn't paint the soles of his feet.""
 * "We were necking and I was feeling her boobs and feeling her boobs. And after about an hour, she was all, 'Oooh! Don't you wanna feel anything else?' And I suddenly thought, 'No. No I don't!' That was probably the first time I realized I was homosexual."
 * Bobby's monologue is also pure hilarity.

""I've never seen The Red Shoes. I'd never heard of The Red Shoes. I don't give a fuck about The Red Shoes!""
 * The monologue at the beginning of "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen", as well. Telling a priest at confessional you have gonorrhea... as a virgin.
 * How about pretty much anything Val says?