Haruhi Suzumiya/WMG/Misc

The fakes in Snow Mountain Syndrome did not reflect who the dweller desired most, but rather the ones they feared the most

 * Think about it, Mikuru is the one Kyon knows least about. Also Kyon might fear that she's only using him. Also the future Mikuru told him to not get to close to her younger self, which may make Kyon suspect that Mikuru might be up to something bad.
 * Then Jaruhi finds Jyon very mysterious which gives her an uncertainty and fear of him.
 * Itsuki and Yuki wonder if Kyon's hiding something from them and maybe suspect that Kyon might be using Haruhi for his own nefarious purpose.
 * You know why Mikuru would fear Haruhi.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is a previous iteration of Haruhi's universe, and Asuka a previous incarnation of her
Haruhi developed an interest in mecha anime, conspiracy theories, esoteric mysticism, and psychology, and decided to create a universe based on them to entertain herself for a while. unfortunately, things went horribly wrong, and she decided to scrap that universe and create a somewhat nicer, more normal one to apologize to the people she made suffer, and surrounding herself with people she knew in that life: Rei as guess fucking who, Kaworu as Itsuki, Misato as Tsuruya, and of course, Those Two Guys as those two other guys. Meanwhile, Shinji is Mikuru and Gendo is Kyon (Gendo even looks like a grown-up battered-down Kyon), partly to punish them, but also to ensure Gendo/Kyon can use his bastardry to indirectly play God if need be. She's mostly happy now, but occasionally, her dreams are haunted by strange, destructive, incomprehensible giants wreaking havoc on the works of man...
 * Perhaps Haruhi is Shinji (aka, Haruhi is God, Shinji becomes God, and here on TV Tropes we refer to Shinji as the God-Emperor of Mankind) with Asuka's personality, and Mikuru is Asuka with Shinji's personality? Or Mikuru is Asuka's REAL personality unraveled from the Narcissistic Jerkass facade by the Mind Rape (Nobody Dies indicates that if Asuka haven't lost her mother, she would be a lot nicer.)
 * Alternately, Shinji is Kyon and Mikuru is Gendo.
 * Having possibly treated Shinji the worst in the original universe to the point of disgusting even other jerkasses (such as herself), she gave him Gendo's confidence/stoicism/whathaveyou to toughen him up, and gave him the ability to indirectly play god to make up for what she put him through in the old universe. However, she still can't admit that she likes him, and kept him unlucky for her own amusement.
 * Meanwhile, due to what Gendo did in the original universe, she stripped him of his confidence/stoicism/whathaveyou, flipped his gender around, and made him into the Chew Toy. There's a possibility that she remembers what happened in the original universe, but can't say anything about it due to the whole 'Classified Information' Schtick, which would make her 'comeuppance' even more delicious... (Alternatively, Gendo chose to play the role of the Chew Toy, well in the End of Evangelion he asks Shinji for forgiveness, and what more painful way for a powerful and domineering Über-Pimp to atone for his sins than to lie at the bottom?).
 * Alternatively, Older-Mikuru is the Gendo that we know. Why? She has the manipulative bastardry of Gendo and thee mysterious commander role. Furthermore, it's implied that Gendo wasn't always the Gendo we know in episode 21 of Eva.
 * Perhaps Older Mikuru is Gendo, while the younger Mikuru is her equivalent of Shinji.
 * Poster of Gendo=Mikuru Theory here: After some consideration, if the younger Mikuru is indeed Shinji, Kyon could count as Kaji. Given the massive, unrequited crush that Asuka had on him...
 * Also, Fujiwara is Lorenz Kihl. Just throwing it out there...

There is another organization based on censoring all entertainment media.
They have to carefully screen out/ delete anything that their test audiences (who were carefully selected to be on a similar mental level) react too positively to, otherwise she'll change everything into what she's been watching. And this group fears the day that the SOS Brigade fails, Haruhi gets really depressed, and engrossed by a series that's too well known and too much of a marketing giant for the organization to Ret-Gone

Haruhi takes place in the Shin Megami Tensei universe
If we take Kyon to be a Mega Ten MC, then look at it. He can't use any supernatural abilities, but he has an uncanny knack for persuading various 'demons' to side with him. The Data entities can use digital machinations to interfere with reality, and probably could write a program that summoned demons. The presence of time travel was demonstrated in Raidou's games. The 'Espers' are likely Avatar Tuners, albeit ones that can only transform in innately unreal places. The factions are The Organization, the IDE, and Mikuru's employers on the Law side, and the SCD, future dissidents, and rogue espers are the Chaos sides. Kyon is currently on the nuetral path, and has actually persuaded the representatives of Law to side with him over their fellows. The Enclosed Spaces are miniature Vortex Worlds created by Haruhi, who somehow has YHVH's power to recreate the world. Also consider that Haruhi's agents within the enclosed spaces are what appear to be Gog Magog http://megamitensei.wikia.com/wiki/Gogmagog except with glowing red orbs...a sign of her control?

Nothing is real, with some exceptions.
Haruhi Suzumiya is not a reality warper in any way, shape or form. I postulate the following: Allow me to elaborate on that second point. This might get a bit complicated. Enough set theory for you? Me too. Let me try this again. To sum up,
 * Anything that Haruhi Suzumiya does not directly observe cannot be proven to have actually happened.
 * The series (and this is important) is NARRATED by Kyon, but is OBSERVED from Haruhi's point of view.
 * Consider a list of everything that ever happens that is directly observed by Haruhi Suzumiya. This set of events we shall call S.
 * 'Disappearance' Haruhi DOES NOT COUNT. S contains all events perceived by the ORIGINAL Haruhi Suzumiya.
 * Consider the set of events that take place according to Kyon. Call this set of events set K.
 * Now consider the set of events that occur in the story. Call this set of events set Z.
 * K does not contain S, nor does S contain K. Certain events exist which were not observed by Haruhi Suzumiya but which exist in K (The Asakura fight, all of Disappearance). Likewise, certain events exist within S which do not exist within K (What Haruhi does when out of Kyon's line of sight, etc)
 * All events contained within S are provably true, and cannot be disproven. Hence, all events within S did actually happen.
 * Events that exist in K only happened if evidence for them exists within S.
 * Because Kyon is narrating, all events within K exist within Z.
 * In addition to this, SOME but not all of S exists within Z.
 * Whenever K and S exist together, the events DESCRIBED but not the explanations given by K are true and actually did happen.
 * HENCE: Wherever K exists without S, no evidence of those events exists within S in such a way that could not be explained without the need for supernatural phenomena.
 * Nothing that Haruhi Suzumiya perceives cannot be explained by the SOS Brigade being composed of normal, if slightly eccentric, students.
 * All alleged supernatural phenomena occurs during 'gaps' in Haruhi Suzumiya's perception.
 * The narration of the stories is ONE of a near-infinite number of possible ways these gaps COULD have been filled.
 * In effect, the Narrator of the stories is NOT Kyon, but is in fact Haruhi Suzumiya's imagination, passively imagining exactly what goes on when she is not present.
 * The Integrated Data Sentience Entity, time travelers, ESPers, et cetera, comprise Haruhi Suzumiya's "Alternative Explanation" for the events that she perceives.
 * This alternative explanation is imagined such that it cannot be proved or disproved based on what Haruhi Suzumiya knows.
 * Haruhi Suzumiya is not God, a Reality Warper, or anything even remotely supernatural. She's a hyperactive teenager with a barely-suppressed God Complex, creating an elaborate fantasy world around the entirely mundane events of her life. The stories are narrated by her internalization of one of her friends.
 * Who's really narrating?
 * The result is that normal girl Haruhi is digging really really deep for some explanation for why the gang of five hangs out with her for more than five minutes. She is of course ignoring the most obvious explanations which are either that the four of them are insane or she's only imagining them.

The whole series is All Just a Dream
A girl dumped Kyon the day before. Now, he is having a nightmare of her. A pretty LONG nightmare.
 * Makes sense to me. But what's going to happen when he wakes up?

The entire series is in fact an interpretation of Gnosticism
Following the notion that the true God is not Haruhi, but actually Kyon, then Haruhi might as well be considered as the Demiurge, or inferior creator god. In Gnosticism the Demiurge is usually portrayed as malevolent, which would explain Haruhi's malevolent attitude towards members of the SOS Brigade, especially Mikuru....

The entire Haruhi-verse is nothing but a game
To be exact, a MMORPG kind of game. Yeah, like the (dot)hack universe. Kyon, Mukuru, Nagato, and Itsuki are players in said game, while Haruhi is just an AI. This explains why she gets little to none character development, it's because she's nothing but an NPC, controlled by the computer. It's also the source of her reality-warping powers. The reason why Kyon is always referred to as just 'Kyon' is because his in-game name is Kyon. 'ESPers', 'Aliens' and 'Timetravellers' are just types of characters, like 'Druids' and in a fantasy-setting RPG. Oooh, I feel a fanfic plotbunny coming on...

Haruhi is TV Tropes.
At some point, this website becomes a sentient entity.And its powered by the imagination of tropers.Face it,Haruhi is the poster girl for Wild Mass Guessing,and knows her tropes.Not to mention,it'd be AWESOME
 * This means that Kyon: Big Damn Hero is a crossover between Haruhi and itself. That's not actually any more confusing than a crossover involving TV Tropes, so I guess it doesn't matter much.

== The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya take place in The World of Darkness after The Time of Judgment. Haruhi is an Archmaster of Prime who retread to a pocket universe that she carved out of the UMBRA several centuries after the end of the Ascension War == Haruhi Suzumiya was originally a Japanese Hollow One with a knack for magic of The Prime Sphere. Who formed an eclectic Cabal while in high school. Consisting of a pair Of Sleepwalkers, Kyon and his little sister. A quite Virtual Adepts named Yuki Nagato. A positively adorable and seemingly incompetent Etherite from an alternate timeline,Mikuru Asahina. And a flamboyant Celestial Chorister, Itsuki Koizumi.

Haruhi named her cabal the S.O.S Brigade, and lead them on all manor of CONSENSUS shattering adventures. They took journeys deep into the UMBRA; and threw a concert in City of Concordia in HORIZON Chantry. They Crossed paths with all the other Denizens of The World of Darkness...and had fun with them!

Said three-years-ago occurrence is on July 7, 2007 (7/7/7).
A video was released depicting some of the events of that chapter; the timestamp is explicitly "2007/7/7". This would make the main series take place in 2010.
 * Confirmed in one of the books: in the three-years-ago date, he picks up a newspaper, and sees a date "which some would consider to be a lucky number."
 * Not necessarily; many people consider 8 to be a lucky number, so the occurrenc being on 2008/08/08 would also make sense.
 * But both the 2007 and 2008 theories only makes sense if you retcon what Kyon states in the prologue of the first book. Kyon says that after Junior high nothing happenned in 1999? Wouldn't that make the three-years-ago occurrence 1996?
 * From what this troper remembers, he never states that 1999 was after junior high, or anything really related to that. It's at the very least implied that hanging around Sasaki made Kyon gradually give up on his hopes of meeting espers, time travellers, etc, but it's never really stated that he gave up on all that right before high school. He could just be saying that nothing happening in 1999 sped up the process of him ceasing to believe in all of that fantasy stuff.
 * This troper simply saw it as a moment of Kyon being the unreliable narrator. also he does say he gave up believing in sliders and whatnot after junior high Quote:After junior high, I completely grew out of that fantasy world and became utterly grounded in reality. Nothing happened in 1999, even though I kept hoping, just a bit, that something would.:End Quote.
 * Rather, he's obviously referencing Y2K; simply stating that nothing happened as the year turned to 2000, as much as he hoped something would. If we assume Kyon was in fact a first year in high school on 07/07/2007, then, he was still in elementary during 1999-2000; hence this was before he became 'utterly grounded in reality'. Indeed, there is no indication that he was in middle-school as Y2K was scheduled to occur. Ultimately: Kyon's reference of 'nothing happening in 1999' does not even begin to provide us with an adequate timestamp for the series.
 * Sorry, fellow tropers, but the first book states that the first day after golden week was a Wednesday. Being that the first day after golden week is May 6, the only occurrence of that in the last ten years is 2009, making the three years in the past 2006.
 * However, as I recall a later book puts Valentine's Day on a Monday. Since that event is in the year after Melancholy, if those events were in 2009 then the Valentine's Day story would take place in 2010. February 14th 2010 is a Sunday, which doesn't match, however February 14th 2011 is a Monday, which would set the start of the series in 2010 and 'Three Years Ago' in 2007. Given the 'lucky date' didn't come until later it's possible that it was Retconned in.
 * I stipulate that there is no day that fits. If February 14th was a Monday, then December 19th (Second day of missing Haruhi) would be a Sunday, meaning he would not go to school on that day. The going to school problem can only work for the years 2002, 2003 and 2008 as the year the story begins in. Of course, the real answer is Haruhi messed up the timeline to make her work timeless.

The entire show is a dramatisation of real events.
The characters refer to real things frequently, and nobody on the show ever Facefaulted. I mean ever. Seriously, watch closely. Many of the episodes revolve around everyday activities like culture fests or lugging heaters around. If this is true, then it does of course mean that we'd all better pray Haruhi stays happy, or else it's curtains for us.
 * And, given that the critical three-years-ago juncture happened on July 7, 2007, that means that the entire universe was just recently created! Deep, man. Deep.
 * And going even further, if we disregard the security footage and consider that 8 is considered a lucky number for the Chinese, then that would place the three-years-ago juncture at 8/8/8 or thereabouts, which means that the universe doesn't even exist yet! Anything you see is therefore a figment of your non-existent imagination, or rather, what you think you're experiencing right now is nothing more than a false memory you'll be given once you start existing. Alternatively, the world is going to end in less than a year. Better get those long-term stocks unloaded, folks.
 * Less than a month, now. Dun-dun-dun!
 * Less than a week now.
 * Already happened. I really didn't notice it at all, so there you go.
 * Jossed by the fact that Three Years Ago (tm) was on Tanabata, which is 7 July.
 * Present Day. :giggle: Present Time! Mwahahahahaha!" Oh wait, that's a different God.
 * Does this mean the Groundhog Day Loop will happen this summer?!
 * If this is true, then the only logical conclusion would by that Kyon is actually . This could also explain why
 * What's even more interesting is that all the places mentioned/shown in the novels and anime are real. Just check out these side-by-side comparisons. Both the high school that Kyon and Haruhi go to, as well as the town they live in actually exists and can be viewed from Google Earth and/or actually visited. It is therefore reasonable to assume that all the characters from the series are real people living there as we speak, or at the very least, they exist there in an equally real, alternate universe and may have visited ours on occasion.
 * Well, major events of the story seem to be influenced by Tanigawa's own experiences; in junior high he had a friend who was intelligent, charismatic, and a natural leader. In high school he met an upperclassman who was the sole member of the literary club and helped her gain more members.

There was originally a death in the Island Mystery, but Haruhi/Kyon rewrote it so it became an elaborate "game" instead.
When they realized the full implications (namely, that ), they rewrote the entire scenario at that very spot, including the past leading up to it. This makes sense whether the one doing the reality-altering is Haruhi or Kyon.
 * With the aid of Battler Ushiromiya, who knows a thing or two about temperamental young women.
 * Glad I'm not the only one who thought that was the implication.
 * I assumed that was the whole point. Note how she wants an actual mystery on the trip, so whatever happened as a result would be real. It only becomes unreal when she realises that the murderers would be Kyon and Itsuki, and there being no mystery becomes more important than there being a mystery. My evidence? The visual references to Phoenix Wright during the revelation scene; that entire section is made up by Haruhi/Kyon and the visual reference comes from her expectation of what a revelation scene should look like.

In the previous iteration of the universe, octopi were the dominant species...
... however, octo-Haruhi frequented the molluscan version of the TV Tropes Wiki, and became entranced by the idea that Everything's Better with Monkeys. The rest followed naturally.
 * Going by the same logic, the next iteration of the universe will be populated by intelligent penguins.
 * Does that mean we're safe from a future run by intelligent bears?
 * Well, at least we know why Everything's Even Worse with Sharks.

The whole universe the series is set in is one big experimental scenario run by a wacky King of All Cosmos
Said King of All Cosmos is the creator of The Multiverse and, bored with watching all of the other 'verses whose inhabitants are bound within whatever scientific laws hold true in their local universe, creates one (or possibly more) where several of its inhabitants are capable of manipulating its laws just to see what would happen. To tie in with an earlier WMG, Tsuruya is the avatar of the aforementioned King of All Cosmos who is watching everything unfold with great amusement.

The entire series is an Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Self-Insert Fic. Haruhi is an original-character Mary Sue.
The author, American 7th-grader Harriet Sussmeyer, ships Itsuki with the canonically minor character Kyon (yet fails to come up with an actual name for him), refuses to believe Yuki is the villain, and has a Deviant Art account full of drawings of Mikuru in random costumes. Naturally, she's much better acquainted with the conventions of anime than with those of actual Japanese society, on which she Did Not Do the Research.

The members of the SOS Brigade are overestimating the amount of danger Haruhi really represents if she discovers what she is.
Or worse, her not knowing is actually putting the universe at GREATER risk. Haruhi might certainly enjoy having the power, but the real threat of her overwriting the current universe is because she doesn't know to prevent it as things stand. If she became aware, she might indulge in some godly mischief, but she wouldn't actually destroy anything.
 * I find it difficult to refute this argument. Frankly, I'd rather have the local equivalent of God knowingly giving out Psychic Powers and bringing in the occasional alien invasion than accidentally unmaking the entire universe with a temper tantrum.
 * I agree. Consider that Haruhi is aware that Good Feels Good, demonstrably prefers a nice day hanging out with her friends to actually finding the supernatural stuff she claims to be hunting for, and can be relied upon not to wish people dead even when it would otherwise serve her desires perfectly. Most tellingly of all, Kyon would rather tell Haruhi everything than let Yuki be deleted. Either he has the worst case of Always Save the Girl in history, or he -- the person who knows Haruhi best -- doesn't really expect the results of her finding out to be that bad.
 * This makes perfect sense. Haruhi might be fuckle and egotistical, which may be considered good reasons to keep her godhood a secret, but she's never been actively malicious. She would almost certainly avoid intentionally harming anyone, though you could not absolutely guarantee the safety of anyone caught up in her games. So, Nice job jeopardising the Universe, S.O.S. Brigade!

The Integrated Data Entity evolved from the different operating systems of our universe and manifested in the universe where the series is set.
This is why Yuki's reality hacking consists of sped-up and reversed SQL statements. The differing factions within the Integrated Data Entity are the manifestation of the diffrent operating systems(Microsoft Windows, Mac OS, UNIX, etc.) of our world. The Sky Canopy Domain, on the other hand, evolved from 4chan. Which is why Kuyou is a much more crude interface than Nagato, speaks in an apparently nonsensical manner, has a weak sense of individuality, and is utterly incapable of normal social interaction.
 * So I guess Asakura is Vista, because she's complicated and occasionally glitches, Nagato is a Mac that's quiet and reliable. Dunno why Emiri would be a Linux, but I'll say she is to fit the theme.
 * Emiri is Linux, because she's quiet, calm and controlled and has never glitched before.
 * Then again, Nagato could be Windows 2000. She bears more than a passing resemblance to 2K-tan...

The Integrated Thought Entity will be destroyed
Through a series of deus ex machinas and gaping plot holes, Yuki will somehow become her own being, separate from the ITE, and reduce it to ash. A while after this is done, the ITE will become two separate beings, the Galactic Entity, and the Brainspawn.

The ITE is a Lovecraftian Horror.
Something I thought up on the fly, but I think it makes some sort of sense...It speaks a language not heard by human ears for example...
 * This coincides with this troper's speculation that the ITE is a lloigor, or collection of lloigors from the Illuminatus-trilogy.

The Sky Canopy Dominion intentionally designed Kuyou to be more primitive then the Data Intergrated Entity's interfaces.
The Sky Canopy Dominion is aware of Yuki's theft of Hruhi's powers and the subsequent destruction of the Data Integrated Entity, fearing what would happen if it created a similar interface it chose to make one that was more primitive.

There is an Entity Interface that has joined the Agency, and possibly there are other intermixes in the three groups
In the episodes Remote Island Syndrome Part 1 and 2, a murder mystery that involved a typhoon. Espers are mentioned as having only the ability to manipulate closed space. The Integrated Thought Entity has the ability to alter the weather. However, Nagato does not support doing so as it would cause strange weather patterns. So it would have to be some sort of other interface.

Data Entity Agents, Time Travellers, and Espers are all the same thing; their differences are cultural, with different priorities leading to different abilities.
Mikuru reveals that physical technology is abandoned for psychic tools in the future, much like how Agents access the Data Entity. The medium through which this is done is ESP. In the novels, one "half-Esper" accidentally partially hooks himself into the Integrated Data Entity, making him think he's in love with Nagato.
 * Another example, during the scenario with the Data Parasites incident between the neighborhood dogs and his cat, Kyon muses to himself that if the Data Entity really wants to be able to experience humanity, they'd have to merge with humans. There is no such thing as idle speculation in this show.
 * Another theory is that they are all actually the same faction but simply at different points in the time stream. The Organization will use its power and influence gradually steer events and become the Future Humans of Mikuru's home time and continue to develop until humanity itself evolves beyond time and space and becomes the Integrated Data Thought Entity.

Aliens and Time Travelers always existed; Haruhi is simply responsible for attracting them to herself
Both Mikuru and Yuki give reasons why they are observing Haruhi, the inability to go back in time beyond a certain point and a burst of data with Haruhi at the epicenter, respectively. On the other hand Koizumi claims he instinctively knew about Haruhi and her powers indicating he is fundamentally different from Mikuru and Yuki.

Espers are a fail-safe built into Haruhi's powers and will exist no matter how normal anyone using her powers tries to make the world
Sasaki doesn't have any desire to change the world, but espers still came into to being when she had her powers. This would also mean that Yuki has espers although she may not be aware of this.
 * Wasn't there a guy who was an Esper, but accidentally tapped into the ITE, thus making him mistake his vision of it as a love for Yuki, so Koizumi had to do 'something' and make him lose his powers or something?
 * No, Yuki is the one who made that guy lose his powers.

Espers are supposed to be evil (including Itsuki, in his job as a combat esper at least).
Think about it from the point of view of Haruhi's subconscious. She/it just wants to remake to world, so it will be better, but the espers are attacking and killing the beings who are remaking the universe for her, and obstructing progress. Her first opinion of the closed space giants is that they are cool, not that they are malevolent. This is further strengthened by Kyon's uncannily accurate narration at the beginning of the animated series: He keeps saying that he always believed in time travellers, aliens, espers, and evil organizations. The only recurring organization (aside from the Anti-SOS Brigade, as far as it can be called an organization) is Itsuko's mysterious and rarely explained Agency. (The first chapter of the Haruki Suzumiya project also has Kyonko wishing in the opening narration that she could "engage in psychic duels with evil espers".)
 * Itsuki's gonna be the black sheep of this WMG. There's always one.
 * Itsuki and the other espers probably don't even know they're supposed to be the antagonists; with a sort-of Villain Protagonist Well-Intentioned Extremist in the form of Haruhi's subconscious (remember, her ideas don't really reflect reality, which is kind of the point. Though the Agency, including Itsuki or not, could still turn out to be outright evil).

The Espers are Anti-Heros and may even be considered heretics for it
They are fighting God's creation process and although Haruhi is a little wild she certainly isn't God Is Evil. so it stands to reason that the ESPERS are the Defenders of Humanity who truely believe in what they are doing. They have no true proof they are in danger, but they can't risk it. Itsuki even suggests this in his songs to some degree.
 * It's more like they're Haruhi's Super-Ego, the counter force to her Id.

The series will end with Haruhi's "Suicide"
Haruhi will realize her powers at some point and, in a bright moment, understand how she is the cause of all sufferings her friends, that she really cares about, have to endure. Therefor, she finds that the only solution for Kyon&Co's suffering is to erase herself out of existence. Also, note how close the sound of "Suzumiya" is to "Suicide".
 * So what would happen to Haruhi's powers if she erased herself would they also cease to exist or would they default back to either Yuki (since she was the previous holder) or Sasaki (since she was the original holder). Also, what would happen to the various things that were presumably created by Haruhi, for instance the Integrated Thought Entity.
 * So... are you saying Haruhi is Lain? Because once you consider Lain's Split Personality, it actually makes a disturbing amount of sense.

The Closed Space at the end of the first novel/anime series was a suicide attempt.
Hand in hand with the previous WMG: After several years of trying and failing to find aliens, time travelers, sliders, and espers, or just find some generally interesting things, Haruhi's depression comes back in full force. She unconsciously pulls herself into Closed Space, where the Shinjin/Celestials will destroy her. Kyon comes along for whatever reason, possibly related to other WMGs (being the slider? not being affected by her powers?). When he kisses her, she both experiences an instant of pure happiness and thinks that maybe life is worth living after all, destroying the Closed Space.

The entire series is a series of self propagating stable time loops
the "time quakes" referred too by Mikuru are actually damage being done due to the existence of time loops. As attempts are made to "fix" the discrepancies between recorded history and what is observed in the past further time loops are established and more damage is caused, eventually causing the time stream to become so unstable that blatantly impossible things(Haruhi's power for instance) start happening, causing an even larger number of time loops to come into existence. The "first"(if the word first can really mean anything in this context) time loop was Mikuru telling Kyon about the mole. When she realized that he didn't know about it already she said "oh no! then this is before we..." and then cut herself off and started saying she made a mistake and telling him to forget it. A few scenes later he tells her younger self about it without ever finding out about it by... however she was thinking he found out. It is the only loop apparently created by accident and therefore must be the origin point. The final result will be the destruction of the universe or, alternately, a final overarching loop of Haruhi destroying the universe and rebooting it back to 7/7/07.

Mikuru, Koizumi, Nagato, Asakura, and so on were once ordinary students, until Haruhi/Kyon "rewrote" them.
Think about it, especially how normal Asakura seemed until the episode she went berserk. And why would the Time Agency (or whatever it's really called) send someone as frail as Mikuru on a mission of such importance anyway? Granted, Nagato was always weird, but if Kyon is the real God (see the first WMG on this page), then notice how Nagato was the first one to tell Kyon. He subconsciously picked her first because he was making up some sort of explanation for her weirdness, and then once one of them was explained, he subconsciously wished similar backstories for the others.
 * If this is true, then "three years ago" could be just a sort of cosmic Retcon they unleashed, and the whole "I am John Smith" Stable Time Loop thing is just something he made up later.
 * Or both made it up. This would also explain, why the time-loop even IS stable, because, as Kyon said, it doesn't make much sense.

The members of the SOS brigade are different aspects of the same being
On this page we have Haruhi is Kyon, and Kyon is the slider. The Lucky Star pages shows the Konata is Haruhi and Koizumi. Furthermore, Nagato was able to steal Haruhi's powers without Kyon's consent because the powers see them as the same person. Finally, the Haruhi-chan anime clearly shows that Mikuru is Jesus and by extension Haruhi.

The members of the SOS Brigade are exactly what they appear to be.
...in addition to the fact that they are, you know, an alien, esper and a time traveler, respectively. For characters who are in a show with quite a few mind screw-y elements they themselves are surprisingly true to themselves despite their supernatural origins. Yuki, Mikuru and Koizumi aren't pretending to be who they are, they just are who they are. Even Koizumi's manufactered personality (which probably isn't even as good a cover personality as he thinks it is) seems like something he might do even if he wasn't a psychic secret agent. Despite the secrets they all must keep their inherent truth of character is why this particular group was chosen by Haruhi out of all the aliens, espers, and time travelers there are out there.

Each of the SOS Brigade members are also as powerful as Haruhi, their personality simply limits their powers to what we know
Haruhi with her sheer boredom and large imagination can turn fiction into fact, and thus has the most influence on Reality, only kept in check by her basic common sense. Kyon has more potential in completely rewriting reality than Haruhi, but his skepticism constantly tries to suppress his own powers. Yuki's cold rationality prevents her from going beyond the laws of Equivalent Exchange, despite having mastered her own powers. Itsuki with his desire to study and philosophize about the human mind got Psychic Powers instead. Mikuru with her naiveté, low self-esteem, and Happiness in Slavery limits her into being a Moe Moe time traveler. Perhaps everyone has reality-warping powers, but it is shaped by consensus and said effects on reality are interpreted according to each person's own perception (a magic-oriented person can interpret these reality-effects as magic while a science-oriented person can interpret these reality-effects as high technology grounded on physical law), ala Mage: The Ascension, with the main cast corresponding to the awakened Magi. Of course, this can go with the theory that Everybody Is Jesus in Purgatory, so this would result in an infinite WMG dart board

Kyon, Haruhi, Sasaki, Kyon's Sister, and Kunikida all died in 1999
As noted above, Kyon was in junior high in 1996, but evidence in the novels points to three-years-ago being in 2007. When the Reaper's Game between Haruhi and Kyon started it became neccesary to rewrite the memories of everyone in order for them to fit into the Realground, Kyon and Haruhi's game started in 2007. Kyon's implying that he was in junior high in 1996 was simply due to the memory rewrite not being comprehensive enough.

The tenth novel and the second season will come out at the same time.
One is delaying the other. Either that or Tanigawa has fallen into a space-time rift and they can't find the final draft of the novel, or get his signature for the second season contract.
 * jossed

The next season will feature a Gender Flipped episode as a Shout-Out to the fans
Not really a WMG, but it would be awesome.
 * I was thinking an OVA.

The show will end when someone takes a closer look at the video the club made for the arts festival.
They all get arrested for selling DVDs of Itsuki naked on film. Censor Steam doesn't work quite as well in film as it does in animation. Haruhi remakes the universe because she's ticked off that they get in trouble for such a stupid reason. Partly so they have an excuse to confiscate Kyon's sister's cat for being a Talking Animal.

There will be a gendedflipped Endless Eight episode
That is if Haruhi-slash-Haruki-oh-kami-sama hears us.

The cicadas caught in Endless Eight remember every iteration of the loop.
Haruhi keeps winning the cicada-catching contest because they know she's the one causing the loop and are greatful for her gift of seemingly eternal life.

The tenth novel will come out on December 21, 2012.
Because that's what all the doomsday theories are really predicting. It will either be so horrifically bad or so mind-blowingly fanastic that it will completely change the world forever.
 * Jossed. April 2010.
 * Jossed, May 2010 and all we have are the book preview.
 * The day it comes out is May 25, 2011. We are however, getting two books for our troubles.

Something revolutionary or horrible will happen before the third year of the high school, and the time travellers know of this.
Why else would they have put Mikuru a year ahead of the rest of the Brigade? There is clearly no purpose for her to serve her function after Haruhi's second and her third year is over. Thus, something will happen to make any further participation redundant.

The whole Endless Eight fiasco is just a ploy to troll the audience.
It will last for either eight episodes or until August 31st.
 * This is exactly the conclusion I came to.
 * Confirmed.

The Endless Eight arc is Kadokawa's attempt at Springtime for Hitler.
Kadokawa has received a bunch of money that they're holding out from Nagaru Tanigawa, as well as the investments from the backers. They ordered Endless Eight to go on for this long in an attempt to run the series into the ground, so they end up not turning a profit due to Arc Fatigue. They then are going to run off with the backers' money and abandon Haruhi forever. Kyo Ani is currently trying to sabotage this by making the episodes cost as much as possible by using completely new animation and voicework for each episode.
 * This makes so much sense, it's scary. If it turns out to be true, then this thing would be bigger then Enron. Prepare for the greatest economical crime of the early 21st century!

The Endless Eight episodes are fake.
As in non-cannon. They were made with one purpose in mind - to piss fans off to the point where they'll watch anything other than this. The actual season two won't be televised, at least not in the near future, but will be released directly on DVD. Everybody who wants to see it will be forced to buy them, driving sales through the roof. It's either the most brilliant or the most retarded marketing strategy ever.
 * This theory isnt crazy at all. You should post it in Just Bugs Me. There are several persons asking how this could happen.
 * Well, I was pretty close, but I underestimated Kadokawa and Kyo Ani. It's going to be a movie, which means we'll pay for it twice - once in the theater and again for the DVD. Well played indeed. The canonicity of Season 2 is still up to the fans.

Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody and Endless Eight WAS Season 2, Everything Else is Season 3
Possibly, all Season 2 included was the nine episodes. Then Kyo Ani realized that the backlash of having 8 of 9 new episodes very similar would sink their company...so they delayed the season a year and a half to two years, giving us the live teaser while they scrambled to finish "Season 3" AKA the back half of Season 2.

Endless Eight and the entirety of season 2 were filler... chronologically.
The original first season didn't encompass every story within its chronological period; it still left Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody, Endless Eight, and The Sigh Of H.S. These three are now almost certainly making up the entirety of the second season. As such, season 2 will entirely fill the chronological gaps of season 1, and season 3 will be a complete blank slate. The more optimistic bit: In the two and a half years, Kyo Ani have been making a real season 3, entirely fresh and without time-padding repeats, and this will be shown later in the year.
 * I don't think Real Life fits so high on the idealism scale.

There never was an endless recursion of time.
Yuki glitched and started remembering her day from other universes. In the one where Kyon finished his homework, something related to that clicked the glitch out of place so that Yuki's day from those universes wouldn't be remembered by other universes, which is the cause of the differences between the days. Either the glitch or her usual method of operation had her count each day rather than look back to the assigned date of the given day, so it merely appeared that every alternate universe in which the glitch was not stopped before midnight was a separate day in Yuki's personal timeline (the glitch could even have resolved itself at midnight, and Kyon finishing his homework was just the most noticeable difference between those universes and the one in the show). Less seriously, Itsuki can see the future, and wanted to start an endless recursion of meme, with which Yuki played along.

The author is a spectacular troll who wants nothing more than to watch all of us squirm.
The franchise's very existence is The Plan on the part of the creator. All of this infighting, the flame wars, the fandom, absolutely everything, was orchestrated by a very sadistic author with more time on his hands than should be legal. He crafted a story in such a way that it would generate a massive fanbase that will spawn from itself an equally charged Hatedom, sprinkling in just enough Fan Service of every variety (technical, moe, philosophical, etc.) to make it all work. The way I see it, his purpose is to bait people he probably cannot stand into starting as much conflict as possible amongst themselves, facilitating all kinds of rigorous procedure on something that ultimately doesn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. A look through all manner of discussion of the series has shown that it could not have gone better: fans struggle to defend it, critics struggle to substantiate it, and haters struggle with both. In the end, no one is happy, except those too smart to fall for it and those too jaded to allow themselves to know about it.

Meanwhile, the Nagaru Tanigawa and Kyoto Animation get to laugh all the way to the bank while everyone behind them starts flailing torches at each other thinking that any result is better than letting the other side have the last word. No one has missed the point; they've all fallen squarely into the author's plans. Whether they did this to encourage people to use parts of their brains that are otherwise idle 90% of their lives out of pure concern or for any other reason just because they hate us all is entirely up to you. The biggest smoking gun? Endless. Eight.

Yes, yes. Nagaru Tanigawa is just like Tite Kubo.


 * Positing an alternate theory, fun times abound: Nagaru Tanigawa actually hates the series but is trapped writing it, much like Anno was with Evangelion and Toriyama was with most of Dragonball Z. Originally, Tanigawa planned Haruhi as a one light novel story: think about it, this explains why everything is wrapped up so nicely, and the ending is left nice and ambiguous so that each reader can come up with their own conclusions. However, after giving the rights to Kadokawa, the popularity of the series exploded, and Tanigawa was left forced to keep milking the cash cow. Haruhi Suzumiya is a Franchise Zombie. Now, this is where things get interesting: all those points of contention in the story and the anime: fully intentional. Tanigawa tried the best he could after learning he had to make more to sabotage the series by adding nonsensical elements like screwing up the order, giving Haruhi less and less screentime, dancing around the question of Kyon and Haruhi's relationship, shortening the length of the novels, and lately, putting two alternate versions of events in one novel. However, despite his best efforts, the fans ate it up, and the series became more popular than ever. This is why the 10th novel has still not come out over 2 years after it's slated release date, because it IS supposed to be the final, but Kadokawa will not allow the cash cow to die, so Tanigawa is left languishing over a series that he never intended to be his magnum opus, and that he doesn't even care for that much.
 * So its persistence is a result of Executive Meddling. Kyoto Animation saw that this show was practically an open surgery and ripped it apart to create a confused fanbase that would embarrass the above authors. I still refuse to believe that the spinoff series are official products, but if they are, then all the better for this theory.
 * Seven of the novels were published before the anime came about, before it was this apparent cash cow.

Mikuru is actually Chiyo-chan All Grown Up.
As explained here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Crcu D Kac_1I

There is no coherent meaning in Haruhi whatsoever. The real reason why there are possible infinite Wild Mass Guesses about Haruhi Suzumiya is because of its heavily archetypal memetic nature
It's also noticable in Wall-E's own WMG page, with it having a WMG dart board rivaling Haruhi Suzumiya's own WMG dart board because of its archetypal "Noah's Ark" structure, and Neon Genesis Evangelion's own WMG page, because of Evangelion taking Character Archetypes for Deconstruction and Mind Screw. There is the possibility that the infinite WMG dart board is the result of its memetic construction: Let's see, a Five-Man Band composed of a reality-warping God, said God can be an infinite WMG dartboard in itself because it's God, an alien Emotionless Girl with Matrix-like programmable powers, a philosophical esper who is a part of a secret organization, a Ms. Fanservice time traveller (don't get started on the Time Lord page), and a normal Real Life person stuck in the middle, said real life person was chosen to have the responsibility to save the world (and then the monomyth takes place on said person). If that ensemble can't be sandwiched in various types of fanfiction, then I don't know what else from Haruhi can be.

"Magic" and time travel in the future are 1: possible and 2: based on the skills of human-data interfaces.
Mikuru said, in the baseball episode, that Yuki looked like she was casting a spell. When Kyon asked what she meant, instead if saying "Oh, like a wizard or magical girl witch in an anime" she said "That's classified". In the very near future, the person who discovers time travel figures it out based on what he overhears of Mikuru explaining time travel, or Yuki repeating her explanation as she attempts to initiate a temporal-displacement protocol. "Magic" spells are figured out in the process of trying to set up a reliable targeting method for time travel, and eventually becomes the domain of certain humans who have an unusually high data-processing ability and finesse, most likely with the help of computerized enhancements. Note also Yuki being a witch and Mikuru being a time-travelling Magical Girl.
 * Mikuru says pretty much everything is classified if it deals with her knowledge sources, whether it's something Kyon knows or not. Presumably it does mean that the future has had direct contact with the IDE, though.

Slider doesn't meant "Dimensional Slider" but " Street Light Interference Data Exchange"
If you are going to create an integrated data entity, why not create a being that can control various form of energy and data unknowingly? That way you can have a way to control the terminals.

The doppelgangers in Snowy Mountain Syndrome all took on the form of the subject of their victims' infatuation.
In the last chapter of The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya, the SOS Brigade is trapped in a house created by the Sky Canopy Domain, and they are forced to stay overnight because of the blizzard that forced them inside. A very forward Mikuru, who Kyon is obviously attracted to, ends up in Kyon's room, where she tries to seduce him for unknown reasons. Of course, Kyon realizes she's a fake and drives her away, but then he discovers that each of the other SOS Brigade members also encountered doppelgangers. One could except Koizumi's theory that it was simply a ploy by Yuki to give them a hint to solving the puzzle that would release them, but let's look at exactly what happened. Mikuru enters Kyon's room, and he is definitely infatuated with her. Kyon enters Haruhi's room, and there are plenty of clues to draw the conclusion that she has strong feelings toward him. Same for Kyon's appearance in Yuki's room. It's also no surprise that he ended up in Koizumi's room, given the latter's sometimes odd behavior toward Kyon. Of course, Haruhi ended up in Mikuru's room, which brings us to the next theory...
 * I suspect it was a particularly clumsy attempt at a Lotus Eater Machine. Considering that was behind the whole thing, it's not surprising the part that relied on human interaction was so ineptly done.
 * So was Yuki's fever..."inflicted" by the Doppelganger? Does this say something about Yuki?
 * It's impossible to say. If the doppelganger was supposed to take on the form of her infatuation, and had to pick someone, naturally it would be Kyon, since she hardly even talks to anyone else. That doesn't really prove anything specific about how she feels about him.

The fakes in Snow Mountain Syndrome did not reflect who the dweller desired most, but rather the opposite
That is to say, the one that entered their room was the one that desired them most. For example, Fake Mikuru doesn't enter Kyon's room because he desires her, it's because Mikuru desires him. From this, we can conclude that Haruhi's sexual assault on Mikuru is much more than just playing around, Mikuru does want Kyon but just isn't allowed to form a relationship, and Kyon is bisexual. Alternatively, he enters Koizumi's room because everyone else is indifferent to him, while Kyon sees him as a friend, and therefore "desires" him the most.
 * Then why didn't Haruhi take MIKURU with her to the other world
 * She wasn't able to take anyone other then herself to the other world. Kyon went there because he instinctively transferred himself their using his hidden powers as the slider and/or the true god.
 * Just because Haruhi was the one who wanted Mikuru most doesn't mean she Mikuru is the person Haruhi most wants. Based on the WMG, Haruhi likes Kyon and Mikuru but prefers the former. Mikuru's attraction to Kyon, however, is greater than Harhui's attraction to either, although Kyon isn't as interested in Mikuru as Haruhi is.
 * Is it not possible to have a stronger emotional connection to one person while having a stronger sexual attraction to another?
 * Actually the doppelgangers were sent by Yuki in a specific order in an effort to clue at least Kyon and Itsuki to a possible solution for escaping the house. Their behavior on the other hand was meant to clue her friends into the fact that something is very very wrong. Everyone is deeply disturbed by their visitor's behavior. This is to get them out of their rooms and get them talking about who saw whom and in what order as soon as possible. The fact that a few of them may be physically attracted to who the fakes appear to be is simply coincidental.
 * There's no actual proof that Yuki sent the doppelgangers, it was just something that Koizumi speculated. He didn't know about the Sky Canopy Domain (who were actually responsible) and Kyon flat out says that he's willing to accept whatever bull Koizumi spouts to put this all behind them. Even stranger is that given the positioning of the rooms mentioned earlier, the solution which Koizumi proposes doesn't actually work as the geometry of the rooms cannot physically make the diagram which Koizumi drew (an Arabic "4"). It could have made a digital four (like an upside-down "h") but that would have required Kyon and Yuki to see Haruhi instead. It seems much more likely that  simply botched things slightly given that literally everything else about the mansion seemed to provide for their every need.

Kouyouen Academy is only an all-girls school so Haruhi could go to North High.
This might make no sense, and in fact seem outright contradictory, but bear with me for a second. Kouyouen is the school at the bottom of the hill leading to North High in the novels. In the "real" universe, it's a high class, all-girls school. But in the "normal" alternate universe in the fourth book, it's a co-ed school, and Haruhi goes there instead of North High. The rest of this theory is assuming that the "normal" universe is identical to how it would have been without Haruhi's powers, with the exception of Real!Yuki's keys.

Haruhi, being a brilliant student, was likely on track to going to Kouyouen after leaving East Junior High. However, she wanted to go to North High to find the mysterious John Smith. So, her mind made Kouyouen an all-girls school. We've never seen Haruhi's parents up to this point, but I assume they're fairly responsible. They noticed that Haruhi was rather... off, and wanted her to get into some normal relationships with her classmates, maybe get a boyfriend. If she wasn't adjusted in high school, she might never adjust after graduating. They were maybe also worried about how she was openly bisexual, perhaps not wanting their daughter to get in a sexual relationship with another girl. So, when Kouyouen became an all-girls school, they didn't want to send her there, and sent her to North High instead.

Of course, this theory has almost no impact on anything whatsoever, I just noticed it and didn't think any conclusion was outright stated. Another possibility is that Real!Yuki made the school a co-ed, so that Kyon would actually be able to find both Haruhi and Itsuki fast enough to beat the key's time limit.
 * Interestingly enough, Kouyou Gakuin (the school Kouyouen Academy is based on) is co-ed, in Real Life... which one would assume is rather lacking in Espers, Aliens, and Time-Travellers...

The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina as told in the series was actually narrated by an Unreliable Narrator
The film was in fact highly successful, with a coherent dramatic plot, a Crowning Music of Awesome, and special effects so realistic.

What you are experiencing is a temporary distortion of reality.
Oh, sorry, I'm in the wrong room.
 * Agree! Where am I, anyway?

Kyon and Haruhi are a 100% perfect Odd Couple
Kyon is serious, ordinary, wishes for everything to stay as it is, and secretly believes in aliens, time travellers, psychics and ghosts. Haruhi, on the other hand, is Genki, eccentric, wishes for everything to be unusual and fantastic, and secretly knows all that stuff she believes in doesn't exist. And, if the theory above is true, then Kyon is the God of Ordinarity, while Haruhi is the Goddess of Weirdness.
 * Rather God of Order and God of Chaos..!

Kyon and Haruhi are God
But both were only told the other was. Kyon was told what he was told, but Haruhi is under the impression that if Kyon gets too complacent and bored the universe will eventually quietly switch off. Kyon thinks that the world is mostly "normal" bcause Haruhi's subconcious doesn't believe in the supernatural, but Haruhi thinks that supernatural things exist in small doses because Kyon's subconcious mind thinks they do. This has the effect of turning Yuki, Mikuru and Koizumi into the most manipulative characters in history, and becoming completely nonsesensical when combined with the later novels. (If someone came up with something similar, I'm sorry, I just can't rbing myself to read this entire beast of a page.)

Kyon and Haruhi aren't gods per say- it is their interaction and relationship that is the actual power that shapes things.
In other words, they're co-creators like in some pantheons. Haruhi is someone who wants to believe in weird things but subconsciously is still grounded in reality (such as it is) and a normal world; she is capable of enjoying doing crazy things because she's doing it with her friends though she may say she's doing it for other reasons. Kyon on the other hand does not believe in such things and after finding out, still has trouble accepting it all; however, subconsciously and in truth, he is grounded in such weirdness. Though he enjoys being with his friends, he gets as much if not more excitement out of their adventures.

Kyon and Haruhi possess two parts of the same power.
Kyon has the power to warp reality, but doesn't have the focus to do so (shows in his studies). Haruhi has the ability to focus such powers into a certain phenomenon, which is why things keep happening the way Haruhi wants it, not the way Kyon would (although what he actually wants is hazy at best). Or more simply, Kyon is the ray of sunlight, and Haruhi is the magnifying glass/convex lens that focuses the former into a crude laser. Both are unaware of their power or the symbiosis, and the illusion for Kyon that Haruhi is the sole owner and user is maintained by the rest of the SOS Brigade. Haruhi is completely ignorant of even the mere existence of the power.

Kyon (or both) appears to have the potential to obtain the ability to focus his power for himself, which is why the rest of the SOS Brigade insists he be the one to influence Haruhi to maintain status quo. The SOS Brigade have not told anything to Haruhi because she is too unpredictable and would be too difficult to use for their own agendas (or that she can't obtain the reality warping power). Kyon hasn't prevented any incidents/phenomenon he would have liked to avoid (Cave-cricket, Asakura, Mikuru beams etc.) despite his presumably strong want to stop/avoid them, because he hasn't yet gained the ability to limit the amount of his power available to Haruhi.

The incidents to which the sole purpose is to pander to Haruhi ( three four years ago, baseball, etc), is either the SOS Brigade maintaining the Kyon's illusion or keeping Haruhi around as Kyon's symbiosis partner while he develops his own skill at concentrating his power.

Haruhi has Bipolar disorder (or Cyclothymia)
At the beginning, she's going through a depressive episode. She's not interested in anything and finds everything boring and dull. Then she enters a hypomanic episode and starts the S.O.S. brigade. According to the other wiki, hypomanic episodes are characterized by... pressured speech, inflated self-esteem/grandiosity, flight of ideas, easy distractibility, and involvement in pleasurable activities that may have negative social consequences (such as dragging Kyon through the corridors by his tie, usurping the Literature room, molesting Mikuru, and blackmailing the computer club president). Note that depressive / hypomanic episodes typically last several days. Later in the series she's going through a "normal" period, though she's still eccentric.

Angel Beats!! is in fact a prequel to Haruhi.
The cast of Haruhi is the cast of Angel Beats!! several lifetimes on. Yuzuru and Kanade, essentially the two more virtuous people in their Angel Beats!! days, have progressed up the cosmic orders of beings to become a god and the Data Integration Thought Entity respectively. Yuri, on the other hand, being a more ambiguous person, is still languishing in the human stage of her existence, having lived some good lives and some... not so good lives. This also applies to much of the rest of the SSS, who are also still human. Taking pity on his former friends, and particularly Yuri, who he had unresolved romantic feelings for despite being more attracted to Kanade the last time they all met, and so decided to give his powers to her for a little while so that she can have fun - and in doing so, he hopes, eventually mature as a person. He then incarnates as a human destined to meet her so as to enjoy himself as well, though also to keep an eye on her; however, to enhance his own enjoyment of the experience, he either temporarily erases his memories of his true nature or simply suspends them for the time being. What he also does, however, is make contact with the DITE and record what actually happened with part of it, the part which then happens to become a certain humanoid interface used by the DITE to interact with the newly-found anomaly on a certain plane of existence. And so, the ball starts rolling...

The three explanations for how the world came about are adaptations of similar views in real life
Itsuki's represents the biblical stance (God created the universe). Mikuru's represents the Steady State model of the universe as per Fred Hoyle. From the anime (Sigh part 5): "Mikuru: The world was like this to begin with."

Nagato's represents the Big Bang theory. From the novels (the first): "Yuki: The information sparks emitted from a certain area in the bow-shaped archipelago instantly covered the whole planet and started to spread towards outer space."

DITE is Akashic Records
And Haruhi has some connection to it, hence her Reality Warper status.

Haruhi uses Celestials because they were something she made when she was a child.
Think about it; in the closed spaces, the Celestials appear for no reason, and seem to have no purpose other than to destroy what's inside the spaces to lash out her stress. Haruhi could've used any random creature to destroy what's inside the spaces, but instead uses a giant blue blob. She could've just simple dematerialized everything instead, or have a giant Haruhi instead, but she just creates those giant amorphous celestials. My theory why she used them is because she herself made it sometime when she was young, and kept it all these years in her head. Maybe what she made was something similar, but her subconscious warped it into great monsters. Perhaps they used to be doodles she made when she was a child, or probably some kind of horror from her nightmares. Maybe they were memories from a visit to an abstract art museum. Whatever it was, it was great enough for Haruhi to keep it at the back of her mind and make it a reality when she gets extremely mad.

Haruhi will eventually rewrite the universe...into the Whoniverse.
Haruhi is interested in aliens, espers, time travellers, and sliders. Time Lords are from Gallifrey, possess time machines, have psychic abilities, and have even visited parallel universes at times. The Doctor is basically her idea of perfection; not only can he do all of the above, but unlike the other members of his race he has vast adventures through time and space, meeting weird monsters, saving the universe, being generally brilliant, and hanging out with pretty girls who scream a lot (Mikuru could be about 60% of that show's companions). That show is so perfect for her that I can't believe she doesn't watch it...unless it doesn't exist in her universe. Eventually she will change reality into the Whoniverse and herself into the Doctor. Her early adventures will have terrible special effects (she's not used to inventing monsters, and we've all seen her skills as a film-maker), but she will eventually get the hang of it. Her mercurial personality will be reflected in the Doctor's various regenerations; sometimes she can be cranky and prideful (One, Six) sometimes darker and more manipulative (Seven, Nine) and sometimes an enthusiastic Genki Girl (Ten, Eleven).
 * As an alternative, Haruhi is herself a TARDIS. Pity poor Kyon when he discovers she's bigger on the inside.

Kyon getting stabbed at the end of Disappearance was a needed event for the timeline to exist
If Kyon was not stabbed, then he would not have to bring Asahina-san (small) back to December 18 to fix the mistake. If he did not bring her back, she would not know about the time travel to that day. This means Asahina-san (big) would not know that she was supposed to wait for Kyon at Tanabata to time travel to December 18th.
 * This of course is moot if Kyon is actually Asahina-san (big)'s boss.

The reason there are aren't any sliders is because...
...they've all slid into parallel worlds. They exist, and they definately do the whole 'travelling through dimensions' thing, but none of them are actually in Haruhi's universe. Therefore, Kyon hasn't met any yet and the other three factions don't know they exist.

(Of course, this is assuming the phonecall girl from novel 9 isn't one. Although she still could be a slider and the theory could still stand if she has just happened to have found her way back home and somehow figured out that Haruhi is the one behind everything. Or something similar.)

The entire series is a Visual Novel.
And the "alternate universes" are actually different routes. The "slider" is actually the game player.

Sasaki will put haruhi in her place.
she will be the first to sucessfully stand up againist haruhi

The new Beta plot marks the return of Endless Eighting
And there was much rejoicing.
 * Bingo, sorta.

The cast will appear in a FRP setting
The interesting part isn't their alignments, which are obvious, but their character classes.
 * Yuki: Wizard
 * Mikuru: Priestess (Shinto if possible.)
 * Itsuki: Paladin
 * Haruhi: Rogue
 * Kyon: Meat Shield

Endless Eight was sliding.

 * How exactly did Mikuru and Haruhi just happen to have all those different swimsuits, on the first day of the loop? Obviously the starting conditions for each loop were different.

The whole series takes place inside of a prototype of The Matrix
Haruhi is the original One, the Data Entities are Agents, the Data Overmind is The Architect, and the other SOS members aside from Kyon are hackers.

Kyon really did die in the disappearance.
Everything that happens in the series after Kyon passing out is all an absurdly long Dying Dream. He never really woke up, and the timeline changing (being pushed down the stairs instead of being stabbed) was just because dreams often don't make any sense.

Endless Eight happened so that sliders could appear.
For some reason, Haruhi's universe and the universe the sliders came from were out of phase, with Haruhi being about 600 years ahead. Because of this, sliders couldn't cross over between the two worlds, which is why none were in the SOS brigade. Wanting to meet them and enjoy her summer as much as possible, Haruhi's subconscious killed two birds with one stone and looped two weeks of August 15,498 times, until the two universes were in sync. The loop would have ended that time whatever Kyon did - the only reason they found out that time was that Haruhi didn't realise the slider universe was lined up until Mikuru discovered the lack of a future. So far, they haven't decided to investigate Haruhi more thoroughly or infiltrate the brigade, either because they have their own problems, are busy in looking at the 'normal' universe in general, or feel secure enough in a different universe that Haruhi is no threat.

Endless Eight expanded during production of The Disappearance
Originally, the second season might have consisted of "Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody", one "Endess Eight" episode, the five parts of "The Sigh of Haruhi", and finally, "The Disappearance of Haruhi". The animators wouldn't have decided to make "The Disappearance" a theatrical movie until after the studio reserved 14 slots for Haruhi. The other seven parts of "Endless Eight" whould have then grown out of a need to swiftly fill those slots. Note that IMDB says "The Disappearance" runs about as long as seven episodes of the anime...

Kyon/John Smith/Mikuru/(insert favourite Time Lord here) created Haruhi via Time Travel.
The mechanism for creating Haruhi is basically derived from Puella Magi Madoka Magica:

Haruhi would never destroy the world, even subconsciously. Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina are worried about nothing.
Kyon correctly guesses that Haruhi would never, even subconsciously, want anyone to die in "Remote Island Syndrome." It's just not in her nature. Also, when Haruhi re-creates the world at the end of "Melancholy," she does not destroy the old world. Suggesting that she would destroy it is an unsubstantiated guess by Koizumi. The reason that Kyon realizes this is, rather than anyone else, that he has gone out of his way to become Haruhi's friend, rather than treating her like a specimen for study or threat to the world. Kyon's the only one to know Haruhi this well because he's the only one who treats her like a normal human being.