Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

The debut novel of Beth Fantaskey, also known for Jekel Loves Hyde. A sequel, Jessica Rules The Dark Side, has been announced for the summer of 2011.

Antanasia Dragomir, renamed Jessica Packwood by her adopted parents, is a down-to-earth farm girl with a talent for mathematics and a resolute disdain for all things supernatural. The last thing she wanted was to find out that her birth parents were vampires, and that her vampire betrothed has come to claim her. Lucius Vladescu is handsome, arrogant, and determined to make her accept her heritage and marry him - or risk reigniting the feud which has been going on between their clans for generations.

This book provides examples of: ---
 * Abusive Parents: Lucius' uncle Vasile.
 * All Girls Want Bad Boys: Played with. Jessica is decidedly put off by Lucius' bad-boy qualities, even as she finds them attractive. She doesn't really fall in love with him until he's proved that he can be kind and considerate as well as sexy and dangerous.
 * Alpha Bitch: Faith Crosse.
 * Big Beautiful Woman: Lucius persuades Jessica to be proud of her curves.
 * Break His Heart to Save Him:
 * Capulet Counterpart: Lucius and Jessica, the respective heirs to two warring vampire families, whose marriage was arranged by their parents to bring peace.
 * Changeling Fantasy: Jessica is quite Happily Adopted at first, preferring to not even think about her birth parents (whom, from the Packwoods' cautiously edited descriptions, she believes to be deviant cult members). Once she starts to believe in vampires, however, the trope plays out somewhat straight.
 * The Chessmaster: Vasile. Lucius reluctantly admires the plan, even though it makes him sick to imagine.
 * Cool Horse: Lucius' fierce black mare, Hell's Belle, whom he buys to keep Jessica company in her riding lessons. Unfortunately
 * Cultured Warrior
 * Cute Kitten: Lucius is at first disgusted by the Packwoods' habit of adopting every stray animal that comes their way, even feeding kittens with an eyedropper. He comes around.
 * Do Not Call Me Paul: Jessica initially bristles at being called by her Romanian name, Antanasia, as she associates it with her 'crazy' vampire parents. She gets used to it eventually.
 * Does This Remind You of Anything: The whole subject of biting.
 * Eagle Land: Lucius' commntary on American life shifts slowly from version 2 to version 1.
 * Faking the Dead: Subverted.
 * Generation Xerox: Jessica looks exactly like her birth mother, and by the end, appears to have inherited her leadership qualities as well.
 * Gratuitous Foreign Language: Romanian.
 * Green Eyed Epiphany: Jessica doesn't realize how she feels about Lucius until she sees him flirting with Faith Crosse.
 * Hippie Parents: The Packwoods, a folklore professor and a yoga teacher.
 * Impoverished Patrician: The Dragomirs.
 * Inadequate Inheritor: Lucius worries about how an American high school girl can possibly rule a clan of ruthless scheming vampires.
 * In the Blood: Vampirism. Lucius is tormented by the idea that Vasile's vicious nature must be in his blood as well.
 * Jerkass Woobie: Lucius, especially toward the end of the book.
 * Jerk Jock: Frank Dormand and Ethan Strausser.
 * Kiss of the Vampire
 * The Makeover: Jessica, bolstered by Lucius' compiments, stops ironing out her curly hair and begins wearing more flattering outfits.
 * Meat Versus Veggies: Lucius is dismayed by the Packwoods' vegan lifestyle, especially the lentils.
 * Morality Chain: As Lucius, Jessica's vampire mentor Dorin persuades her that she is the only one who can bring him back to himself.
 * My Species Doth Protest Too Much: Dorin, a sweet, funny old man who is appalled by the way Vasile and the rest of their kind behave.
 * Our Vampires Are Different: They're immortal, and they do drink blood, but not because they need it to survive. They don't fear garlic, crosses, running water or sunlight, and while a sharp stake will kill them, that's because it would kill anyone. Oh, and they pass it on to their children as well as via infection.
 * Pimped Out Dress: Lucius buys one for Jessica.
 * Royal Brat: Lucius, initially.
 * Romantic False Lead: Jake Zinn to Jessica; Faith Crosse to Lucius.
 * Sensual Slavs
 * Shipper On Deck: Jessica's friend Mindy enthusiastically ships her with Lucius.
 * Stealth Insult: Lucius, finding out that Jake is a wrestler: "How Greco-Roman of you, grappling about on mats."
 * Tall Dark and Snarky: Lucius.
 * Torches and Pitchforks: Jessica's and Lucius' parents were killed this way.
 * Unrequited Love Switcheroo
 * You Wouldn't Shoot Me: