Captain America: The First Avenger/Funny

"Steve: (face still frozen in shock) I had some ideas about my uniform (hands note to Howard).
 * Before the procedure starts, we have everyone in the lab stopping dead in their tracks when they see Steve for the first time. Peggy's reaction is just a resigned sigh and a "let's just get this over with" expression.
 * However, after the procedure she's Not So Stoic. She's as gobsmacked as everyone else, and actually sneaks a feel of the dazed and newly transformed Rogers, before pulling back.
 * The best bit about it? It was actually a blooper.
 * Peggy firing a gun at Steve's shield, with Rogers responding with a look that says "Why the hell did I kiss that secretary?/That woman is crazy!" look.
 * Howard's expression is equally hilarious.

Howard: (same expression, taking the note) Whatever you want, pal."

""WHO WANTS TO BUY WAR BONDS!""
 * You could just see the relieved anger in Peggy's face afterwards too.
 * Another thing: When Peggy first fires the gun. The camera switches to Howard, who is using his arm. To shield himself.
 * From the tie-in comic book: Cap breaching a German armored car.

""Is it permanent?"
 * "He's still skinny."
 * "Is it too late to go to the bathroom?"
 * There's something to be said about Steve Rogers doing girl-pushups.
 * And then there are those jumping jacks he does.
 * Steve reuniting with BFF Bucky Barnes, who notes his friend's transformation.

"So far."

"You're going to get so many girls.""

""Let's go find two more!""
 * When Cap rescues Bucky from being tortured, the obviously out-of-it Bucky tells him "I thought you were shorter".
 * Colonel Phillips providing the best counter ever to HYDRA's motto after blasting one of their soldiers mid-sentence.

"Kid: Go get him! I can swim!"
 * After a child is tossed into the ocean by a HYDRA agent, Steve tries to decide if he should save the kid, or go after the agent.

""I'm from Fresno, ace!""
 * Jim Morita's indignant response (with zero accent) when Dum Dum Dugan wonders why they have to rescue a Japanese soldier as well.

"Erskine: No, no. Wait, wait. What I am doing? No, you have procedure tomorrow. No fluids.
 * When presented the challenge of grabbing a flag on a very high flagpole (the reward is a jeep ride back to base with Carter), something no soldier has managed in over 17 years. The other soldiers scramble all over each other trying to scale the pole, but (pre-supersoldier) Rogers outsmarts his stronger squadmates by simply detaching the pole's anchor bolts and letting it fall over, rather than trying to scale it. The soldiers' and drill instructor's faces when he pulls it off are priceless.
 * Peggy is definitely impressed and amused.
 * Erskine proposing a toast to Rogers the night before his procedure. However, he remembers that Rogers can't have any fluids, so he snatches Rogers' glass away and drinks it down for himself.

Steve: All right. We'll drink it after.

Erskine: No, I do not have procedure tomorrow. Drink it after? I drink it now."

"Steve: Did you save me any of that schnapps?
 * And then, just before the procedure is carried out:

Erskine: ...Not as much as I should have."

"Howard Stark: Emission signature is unusual. Alpha and beta ray neutral, though I doubt Rogers picked up on that. Seems harmless enough; hard to see what all the fuss is about.
 * Steve not knowing what "fondue" is, and assuming it is something sexual.
 * Howard Stark explaining what fondue is. Actually, Howard Stark's hamminess in general.
 * The scene where Howard is testing the fragment of the cube Steve took from the HYDRA base:

(Stark zaps the fragment with electricity, at which point it explodes and hurls him across the room.)

Howard Stark: (Beat) Write that down."

"Prisoner: Who are you supposed to be?
 * When they're in Brooklyn, Steve lists off all the places he got beat up as they drive by them, solidifying his status as The Woobie for many viewers.
 * The first time Steve appears as Captain America in a propaganda stage show, with him wearing a goofy outfit, reading his lines off the back of his shield, and throwing a poorly-choreographed punch at an actor in a low-quality Hitler costume.
 * The best part? Steve's getup is actually the original Captain America outfit.
 * When Steve comes to rescue the prisoner from their cells, we get this priceless exchange:

Steve : (awkwardly) I'm... Captain America.

Falsworth: I... I beg your pardon?"

"Falsworth: Are you sure you know what you're doing?
 * Keep in mind that Falsworth is British, making his confusion at the name "Captain America" even more hilarious.
 * Later:

Captain America: Yeah. I've knocked out Hitler over two hundred times."

"Peggy: Go get 'im!
 * Dum Dum mouthing "what?" just sells it.
 * They got the image of Cap punching Hitler out into the movie in the funniest way humanly possible.
 * Gotta love the part when some kids in the audience notice the Hitler impersonator sneaking onto the stage, and say things like, "There he is, Cap! Look Behind You!"
 * As Red Skull makes his escape on the Valkyrie bomber, Peggy and Phillips commandeer the HYDRA-mobile and use its Nitro Boost to get Steve onto the aircraft before it lifts off. Cue the Now or Never Kiss.

Steve: (stops, looks at Phillips)

Phillips: I'm not kissing you!"

"Lee: I thought he'd be taller."
 * When one of the news films shows that Steve has a picture of Peggy inside his compass, Phillips give her an amused half-smile.
 * Stan Lee's cameo during the award ceremony upon seeing a backstage aide tell the president Rogers isn't there and mistaking the aide for Rogers.

""Don't do anything stupid until I get back."
 * When Senator Brand starts demanding answers for how a HYDRA agent got into the testing area, General Phillips counters by pointing out the agent arrived with the Senator.
 * More meta than anything, but during the end credits, wherein we all learn the origin of this image. How about a nice cup of freedom?
 * Steve and Bucky's parting, which doubles as a Heartwarming Moment.

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you.""

""See? Told you, they're all idiots.""
 * Bucky, on the men who would be the Howling Commandos.

""I'm invisible. I'm turning into you. This is a horrible dream!""
 * Bucky utterly failing to grab Peggy's attention when they first meet.

""Not a scratch, Doctor. Not a scratch.""
 * When the Skull and Zola are fleeing from their exploding lab, Zola points out that the Skull's escape Triebfluegel only seats one. The Skull responds by calmly turning to Zola and handing him the keys to his car.

""I will fight until the last one of these bastards will be dead, in chains, or crying like a little baby!"
 * Jones and Dernier in the pub. Understanding French turns it into another kind of funny.

"I hope all three!"

"Me too!"

(Everyone looks on in puzzlement)

"We're in.""

""Where are you from?"
 * Steve and Erskine.

"Qveens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway.""

""You don't have one of those do you?""
 * Bucky's reaction to Red Skull's true face:

"(Zola nervously studies his cell... is that blood beneath that operating table...?)
 * "That wasn't so bad." "...That was penicillin."
 * "Do you have any idea how to use that thing?" *KA-TESSERACT* "...Okay."
 * Phillips' "He's making me cry" line regarding Steve really cracks me up. It has everything to do with Tommy Lee Jones' delivery, which is completely deadpan, with his face as neutral as it always is.
 * In a Deleted Scene, Philips scolds Steve for blowing off his award ceremony which resulted in Senator Brandt being humiliated-- then cracks a smile and says that he deserves a medal just for that.
 * When Red Skull is being chewed out by the SS officers, he makes a hysterical 'One Two Three' motion with his fingers, pointing at the Nazis, just so he can adjust his death ray properly. All without pausing in his speech.
 * Just about every word that comes out of Colonel Phillips' mouth, but his interrogation of Arnim Zola takes the cake... Or is that steak?

Phillips: Sit down.

(Phillips puts down a tray of food at a table.)

Zola: What is this?

Phillips: Steak.

Zola: What is in it?

Phillips: Cow.

(Dr. Zola stares at it dubiously.)

Phillips: Doctor, do you realize how hard it is to get a-hold of a prime cut like that out here?

Zola: I don't eat meat.

Phillips: Why not?

Zola: ...It disagrees with me.

Phillips: What about cyanide? Does that give you the rumbly tummy, too?"


 * And then Phillips promptly starts eating the steak himself.
 * On a related note, Phillips' later description of Zola as "my new best friend" when he's debriefing the others.
 * Howard Stark's introduction at the Expo. Not only was it a great Like Father Like (Future) Son moment, but the the flying car spluttering and dying during its presentation and his quick recovery were hilarious!