Hypocrite/Quotes

"A hypocrite is a person who--but who isn't?"

- Don Marquis (1878-1937), American author and humorist

"Lemme get this straight... you guys wanna permanently separate Pokémon from humans somehow, so that Pokémon will finally be our equals? And in order to do that, you guys attack Pokémon with your own? What is this I don't even--"

- Black, Black Adventures

"Some folks in this world spend their whole time hunting after righteousness, and can't find any time to practice it."

- Josh Billings

"Barker: Pardon me, pardon me, President, my sympathies are with no nation. You misunderstand, I think, the modern intellect. [...] We moderns believe in a great cosmopolitan civilisation, one which shall include all the talents of all the absorbed peoples -- Del Fuego: The Seňor will forgive me. May I ask the Seňor how, under ordinary circumstances, he catches a wild horse? Barker: I never catch a wild horse. Del Fuego: Precisely, and there ends your absorption of the talents. That is what I complain of your cosmopolitanism. When you say you want all peoples to unite, you really mean that you want all peoples to unite to learn the tricks of your people. If the Bedouin Arab does not know how to read, some English missionary or schoolmaster must be sent to teach him to read, but no one ever says, 'This schoolmaster does not know how to ride on a camel; let us pay a Bedouin to teach him.' You say your civilisation will include all talents. Will it? Do you really mean to say that at the moment when the Esquimaux has learnt to vote for a County Council, you will have learnt to spear a walrus?"

- The Napoleon of Notting Hill by G. K. Chesterton

"We have actually contrived to invent a new kind of hypocrite. The old hypocrite, Tartuffe or Pecksniff, was a man whose aims were really worldly and practical, while he pretended that they were religious. The new hypocrite is one whose aims are really religious, while he pretends that they are worldly and practical. The Rev. Brown, the Wesleyan minister, sturdily declares that he cares nothing for creeds, but only for education; meanwhile, in truth, the wildest Wesleyanism is tearing his soul. The Rev. Smith, of the Church of England, explains gracefully, with the Oxford manner, that the only question for him is the prosperity and efficiency of the schools; while in truth all the evil passions of a curate are roaring within him. It is a fight of creeds masquerading as policies. I think these reverend gentlemen do themselves wrong; I think they are more pious than they will admit. Theology is not (as some suppose) expunged as an error. It is merely concealed, like a sin. Dr. Clifford really wants a theological atmosphere as much as Lord Halifax; only it is a different one."

- What's Wrong With The World by G. K. Chesterton

"Should a 400 lb man advise us on the evils of over-consumption? Should the resident of a million-dollar apartment claim to be a poster boy of the working class? Should a person who thought that Enron was a great investment, that Ralph Nader, Wesley Clark and John Kerry would win, and that North Korea's Kim Jong was changing for the better, advise us on ANYTHING?"

- The official Michael Moore Hatedom site.

"Robert: I'll tell you what I've found to be the key to a great marriage. Raymond: Says the man who married a stripper, then divorced a stripper, then married a regular person, then hung in there for three whole months?"

- Everybody Loves Raymond

"How is it that we hear the loudest yelps for liberty among the drivers of Negroes?"

- Samuel Johnson

"You have a strange sense of nobility, Captain. You'll lay a man out for implying that I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face."

- Inara, Firefly

"Well, when I see the NGOs themselves in sackcloth and ashes, then I might put some truck by what they're saying. I was in Cancun in December, and they were all staying in five star hotels at the highest end resort in Cancun, with beautiful restaurants and palm trees swaying. I was amazed at this. That was 12,000 NGOs – not counting the bureaucrats. There tens of thousands more bureaucrats. And there are four of five of these conferences a year. Yet here they are telling us we all must stop flying..."

- Patrick Moore, former President of Greenpeace Canada, former Director of Greenpeace International, now "The Sensible Environmentalist" and author of Confessions of A Greenpeace Dropout, in the interview to The Register

"Client: I don’t know, I mean, is the photographer really going to find them? Can’t we just crop and resave them under a different name? I’d like to note that the client is a musician who frequently tells his fans to “respect the artist and not illegally download and share his songs.”"

- from Clients From Hell

"This has nothing to do with politics, but how oblivious do you have to be to wear an "Animal Liberation NOW" shirt while walking around with a distressed dog on a leash -- and muzzled!"

- People's Climate Rally, Oakland, 9-21-14 on Zombietime