Wizards of Waverly Place/Radar



"Justin: It's perfect because that's what I hear when you talk to me."
 * In the pilot episode "Crazy Ten-Minute Sale", Alex uses a spell to make a duplicate of herself to fool her dad so she can go shopping... except the duplicate barks like a dog.

"Alex: You'll need a road flare, a barrel of maple syrup and a trampoline. But the maple syrup isn't for what you think.
 * "Family Game Night" had the following exchange with Justin seeking Alex's help to get rid of an unwanted girlfriend:

Justin: (after she leaves) What would I think the maple syrup was for? (pause) Ohhhh!"

"Teresa: Justin is a great catch. You should go out with him! Alex: Eww, gross..."
 * Care to explain? I guess my mind needs to be filthier to understand.
 * For pouring on a body and then licking off.
 * Not to mention that in that episode Alex and Harper (who has a mad crush on Justin) switch bodies, allowing them to make the Jalex utterly blatant.
 * "Wow. Either you're really excited or your underwear is on too tight" in "Alex in the Middle"
 * What takes the cake is the episode where Alex accidentally wishes that everyone forgot who Justin was, so everyone thinks of him as a complete stranger, leading to the following conversation:

"Alex: What are you doing?! Justin: This way I'll be totally invisible! Alex: Eww, no, just hide! He goes in a corner and Alex watches him. Justin: (pause) Don't look! She quickly turns away, embarrassed."
 * In the same episode Justin becomes invisible and he takes off his clothes, so that he could be completely invisible. This results in unfortunate, awkward lines:

"Theresa: (looking at a pillow floating in midair) Wait, is he holding that pillow to...?(Pause) Oww, that's my good pillow... And since it's the only thing I can see, I don't feel very comfortable talking to it."
 * And:

"Jerry: Gosh, it's hot in here."
 * In the beggining of Quincanera, when Jerry and Alex switch their bodies, Jerry made the following statement on in Alex-form:

"Alex: How was your bicycle tour around New England? Grandma: It was long. I was worried that the next time I saw that bicycle seat was gonna be in one of my X-rays."
 * He follows it up with "Gosh, I have a lot of hair." Right, Jerry, that's the reason being inside Alex is so hot.
 * Later in that episode Alex grandmother arrives, and the following exchange takes place.

"Alex: Now get outta here, I'm about to do something you don't wanna know about. Justin: Does it involve me? Alex: No Justin: * leaves*"
 * In the movie there's a scene similar to the one in the third Harry Potter movie with Justin hiding under his covers playing with his wand. Also another where Jerry, having forgotten that he and Theresa are married (so has she) is blatantly checking out her ass. And another where Alex wants to go to a party with an older boy and Theresa says that "at best he just wants to sell you more windsurfing lessons".
 * No kidding. In any other circumstances, in almost any other show, you know what would have happened if Alex and Justin (not related) had been in similar circumstances and had awakened together after a night in the woods...
 * It already happened, in some form of Disney G-Rated Sex, at the end of "Dollhouse", when Justin hugged Alex a little too much and noises could be heard...If you don't watch the video and just listen to it, you'll think that there is something going on...
 * And don't forget the crossover with The Suite Life On Deck where Moseby tells Zack to "entertain" himself with whatever is in his room. Cue Zack leering at Alex hiding behind his bed who reacts in something between disbelief and horror.
 * Zack replied to Moseby, "I think I can make that work!"
 * As well, after Moseby walked off, Zack looked to the sky and said, "Thank you!" in a quite dreamy tone.
 * Don't forget the 'don't even THINK about it!'look on Alex's face when she stood up after Moseby left, and Zack turned to look at her...
 * Well, heck, when Alex showed up in the kids' cabin and began unpacking her bag, with Justin in the room. The dialogue went something like:


 * ...and then she pulls Harper out of her suitcase...
 * At the end of the second part of the crossover episode (and the last one to feature Wizards' characters, BTW), London kisses Max, who then tells Justin (who's had a crush on London for a while) 'I'll never wash this cheek again; but you probably should wash that hand.' Sure, Justin's hands were stained with blue ink, so that must've been what he meant...
 * An interesting non-sexual example is in the episode "Paint By Committee" where the painting Alex is working on is clearly the classic Anarchy symbol. She says it's just the initial of her first name. Yeah, right. Or maybe she's getting crap past the radar in the story as well.
 * How is that a possible radar detectee?

"Max: Oh, I got a good rhyme.Corn. Alex: And? Max: ...Ugh, I panicked."

"Alex: What are you sorry for? Justin: You're my little sister. I shouldn't be on you as much."
 * This line is pure No Yay (as What The Buck points out):

"Justin: You don't have a retainer. Alex: You don't know what goes in my mouth."
 * Then again, this show was made by crap past the radar, when Justin's and Alex's relationship started to "develop". In the wrong direction.
 * I almost drowned in a chocolate fountain episode.

"Justin: Quick! To the Interwizard People Porter! Or as Dad calls it: the I.P.P. Max: Heh, heh, I pee pee."
 * In the same episode, when she tells an extremely hispanic elf that she doesn't want any of his chocolate, he assures her (in an uncomfortably seductive manner) that she soon will.
 * "Future Harper":

"Justin: I.P.P. on! Max: Heh. On what?"
 * In that same scene:

"Justin: (after hurting his eye) I need an eye flush station. Max: I flush after I pee pee."
 * And then after they find Future Harper:

"Guy: She (referring to Harper) mentioned "Pee pee in the Grand Canyon." Justin: I.P.P. in the Grand Canyon? Guy: You too? Strange people Americans. Keep doing this and your natural wonders will be gone!"
 * And then in Egypt:

"Dean: I think you're pretty good, Russo.
 * Alex and her crush's conversation goes like this:

Alex: ...At drawing?

Dean: If that's what you want to be talking about ...Then sure."

"Alex: All it takes is a pretty face, huh? Guys are so easy. Justin: Yeah, we're pretty easy."
 * The best one is in the "Wizard School" episode in which the Dumbledore eavesdropped on a conversation between Alex and Evilene. "Nothing you would be interested in, bras and stuff"
 * Also in one episode:

"Jerry: Your new spell's a woman's hand? I can't wait for the grandchildren."
 * After Jerry states that either grandchildren or Justin's new spell will make the family name live on, Justin displays his new spell.

"Justin: I also used magic to grow two inches!"
 * In another episode, Justin and Alex accidentally teleport themselves in a horror movie and two guys who work at the cinema start talking about them, just when their parents arrive there to hear the guys saying that some new characters named Alex and Justin strangely appeared in the movie and that they have such chemistry. This results in Theresa and Jerry comically widening their eyes . Of course, they do this because their kids got in trouble again, but the scene makes the viewer believe something else for a moment, due to the fact that only after they play the laughs, the guy continues his sentence, saying :"it's like they grew up together", just to save the appearances and to clean some of the crap induced.
 * That movie involves sorority girls being mentioned as running into showers (which the character on the screen realizes is for no particular reason). And they're letting kids watch this show?
 * Not to mention the pillow fight in their pajamas...That episode was chock-full of crap.
 * The episode that introduced Juliet.

"Max: Give up yet? Justin: Of course not, I'm on top of you!"
 * Some nice cleavage shots of Theresa and also, in either "Monster Hunters" or "Mummy" Alex leaning over the lunch counter
 * One episode had this conversation between Justin and Max:

"Juliet: Justin, your hand's a bit low. Alex: No, that would be me."
 * Literally.
 * In "Three Monsters" when Justin and Juliet are hugging:

"Justin: You're right, I'm sorry, I'm just a little panicked after what happened with Willy.
 * The writers seem to think that Alex using Frankie Stein's detached hand instead of her own makes it more innocent but it doesn't. It really doesn't.
 * To clarify: It's not a three person hug. Alex is off to the side!!!
 * In one episode, the family's trying to come up with new sandwich names. Justin has a set of dice that combine a place name from New York City with a sandwich meat. He keeps rolling "Lincoln Tunnel Tuna." Apparently this refers to the prostitutes working in the Lincoln Tunnel, although "tunnel tuna" sounds incredibly dirty in and of itself. The family collective shows disgust when the name comes up, so...
 * Plus, it is known that fish (tuna) is sometimes associated with the woman's reproductive organ.
 * We must remember that it was Alex who rigged the dice to do that so...yeah.
 * In "Alex's Logo", Theresa says that she was the most popular girl in her school, fact which is explained by Jerry who tells Alex that Theresa was popular because she was the first girl admitted in a boys highschool. And that event led to many, many things...
 * In "Curb Your Dragon", Alex turns herself into a cat, then, when she turns back into her normal state, she's still licking herself. Cue Justin coming over to get an upclose view and comment on the situation, forcing Alex to unwillingly stop, with a guilty expression.
 * Then, moments later:

Alex: Let it go, I was five!"

"Alex: (peeking just her head out from behind the door) JUSTIN. You're gonna love this, close your eyes. Justin: ...okay but I'm not gonna taste anything..."
 * Theresa walks down the stairs exclaiming "Ahh I love a good lunch rush!", while her breasts are clearly jiggling... very noticeably.
 * More lines:

- She shiftily looks away-

"Alex notes that boys keep asking to be her biology lab partner, even though she is an 8th grader who isn't yet taking biology."
 * From "Pop me and We Both Go Down"

"Max: Heh. Goodbye, loser. I'm never seeing you again. Conscience: No, Max, I want to get inside- (realizes what he's about to say) ...just do it."
 * The title, for that matter?
 * In the third Chronicles of Moises episode, Jerry tells Max's conscience to become a part of him again, leading to the following dialogue:

"Alex is complaining about the Happy Helpers Club and the Hippie replies, "Like a Commune? Don't knock it till you try it!""
 * Did Kelbo's transformation of himself into a female (Shakira) on a regular basis seem like transexuality to anyone else?
 * Or maybe one of his fetishes.
 * Either he's transgender or the world's first full body transvestite.
 * Alex asks Shakira "Do you have any idea how many boys have kissed your poster?" It can be taken literally, sure - boys WOULD do that - but not JUST that. You just know the writers wanted her to say "Do you have any idea how many boys have masturbated to your poster?"
 * Forget Kelbo- Am I the only one who sees Max's life as a girl crawling with transsexual issues?
 * No you are not. Especially since it's as Maxine that he first meets and crushes on a recurring female character.
 * From "Alex Does Good"

"Alex: You're the only one in our family that still takes a bath. Justin: You try floating an aircraft carrier in the shower... for an experiment."
 * From "Movies"

"Future!Justin: (to Justin and Alex) Hey, where are you guys going? Secrets are for people who have something to hide."
 * Sooo...you can't talk about bath toys on a children's show?
 * I'm confused--how is this getting crap past the radar?
 * Maybe it's not bath toys he's talking about.
 * In the recent episode, "Delinquent Justin", Justin grabs Alex's wrist and drags her after him to tell her something in private, to which Justin from the future comments:

"Model: You've been exposed. Zeke: Oh my gosh, I'm blushing."
 * For me, that was the point we can be sure than the authors have definitely decided to make the Jalex ship subtextually canon. Fear the upcoming Season 4, FEAR!!!!
 * In "Max's Secret Girlfriend", Justin is pretending to be Max's dad, Max hugs him and says "I love you, Daddy", to which Justin replies "Who am I?" followed by Max's very awkward announcement of "He's my Daddy..." to his girlfriend.
 * Not to mention that Justin and Alex pretend to be husband and wife and Max's parents.
 * Also, the old form of Justin seems to have a very obvious beer belly.
 * I was just watching the show and heard this bit of dialogue. From the episode when Harper feels threatened by Stevie and Alex's friendship:
 * Justin: "Okay, I admit it; I turned myself into Alex for selfish reasons."
 * Speaking of Stevie, in "The Good, the Bad and the Alex", Alex tells Stevie she can 'mess' with her brothers as much as she wants. She means pranking but still ....
 * Max has been the cause of the death of many characters: Stevie, The Mummy (he had help but he's the cause), and all the other monster hunters. Stevie and The Mummy's death were both on-screen, which is something you don't usually see in Disney shows.
 * In Captain Jim Bob Sherwood, there are a couple of statements that can be taken the wrong way.
 * Justin doesn't trust e-mails he opens stating he is a winner because people are trying to sell him vitamins. The most notorious 'vitamins' on the net have a purpose very specific to young men. This puts an added gag to Justin's embarrassment when Harper announces that his vitamins have arrived.
 * Alex describing her idea for the comic mentions "girl pirates checking out 'his space rocket'" and a space monster "knocking away the taco and eating the rocket instead." Any other food could have been used instead of taco, and a space ship is not a space rocket unless you want it to be.
 * Teresa says, "You two need to work this out together; together like your father and I." I'm all for teaching cooperation, but to compare a sibling relationship to a spousal relationship pushes the button on the fandom's most popular pairing.
 * Alex says, "You know I could have just flashed you into that costume." Harper responds with her reticence because she feels there is a brief second when she's naked. Isn't that sort of the point?
 * Captain Jim Bob Sherwood refers to holding hands or a kiss on the cheek after rescuing Jessica Moon, like in the 1950s. Relative to what in 2010?
 * He tells about holding hands and kisses on the cheek to Jessica Moon, who is played by Harper, who is underage.
 * My understanding is that those things were given a lot more importance back then, and courtship rituals have changed a lot. "Going steady" today means exclusively dating each other, which many people do automatically; in the 1950's, it was practically one step away from proposing. Captain Jim Bob Sherwood is also an older man, so it may be a reflection of adults in 1950's cinema.
 * The episode "Fashion Week" has a model playing a game (don't take that the wrong way, it's a role playing game) with Justin and Zeke. This leads to this bit after the model gets Zeke's Invisibility Cloak:

"Zeke: Where did you come from? Model: Justin's Room. Zeke: Alright Justin! (High Five)"
 * And before that:

"Alex: Didn't you see her (Juliet) hobble off into the woods? I think Mason ate her!"
 * In the episode "Tasty Bites", when Theresa goes on a health kick and drags Jerry along with him, Alex notes that his gym shorts are a little tight. As if to emphasize how tight Jerry's shorts are, they have a visible bulge in the front.
 * Their work-out routine isn't exactly innocent either.
 * In the episode "Moving On", we got this, which can either be really sexy or morbid depending on the context you see it in:

"Alex: Justin, going inside Mason's body would be the greatest adventure anyone could ever have."
 * Let's face it, the "Wizards Unleashed" scene where Harper and Zeke are alone could easily be implied as Harper trying to get a little too flirty with Zeke if it weren't for his line "I think she wants to kiss me" to Justin.
 * This Troper thinks there are even more implications of this when Zeke then says, "It's my first time."
 * "Journey to the Center of Mason" had a line about using Justin's submarine to go inside Mason.

"Max: Remember that time I lost my wand and we found it a year later when I got that x-ray? Harper: All right, load me up gents!"
 * She even whispers it borderline sultrily.
 * Mason's "I ate Dean!" That can be taken at least two ways. Either one qualifies, especially the first since he actually did.
 * May have been Accidental Innuendo but knowing this show...
 * And again in "Meets the Werewolves" where at the end Mason's parents explicitly state that they're going to eat Alex when the find out she's not a werewolf.
 * Two within a minute in "Three Maxes and a Little Lady". The Harper one Makes Sense in Context.

"Alex: Well, when Mason was a wolf, he was living in this trailer, with a family who tried to take our portal, but then, but then, I tricked those CUNT-try wizards..."
 * The episode when the Russos saved Mason from a bunch of hick wizards ended with Alex summing up the events. When she brought up the country wizards they met, she stresses one syllable that sounds like she delved into Country Matters.


 * Also in "Pop Me and We Both Go Down", the animated zit says he can sing for them. "I'll do anything but CUNT-try"
 * In the episode "Beast Tamer", Max is taking pictures of himself with random things. He then tells Justin that he will start taking pictures of "Things that sound like the float but don't". Max then says, "Like a fish taco."
 * In "Wizards vs. Vampires - Dream Date", in almost any other show 'going on vacation with your girlfriend' would refer to sex. And I can't help but think that this is the reason why Justin is being so nervous about it; because he's insecure, virgin and he knows she's over 2,000 years old, so she has to be kind of experienced.
 * His father agrees to the vacation as long as the pair "Hang upside down in separate rooms".
 * In "Detention Election", Eddie and Them told Justin to wear his pants lower. Wanting to win their approval, loosened his belt and complied. His reaction? "Wow. Everything's all loose and jangly!"
 * In "Harperella" there's a whole lotta Foot Focus including Zeke Charming sniffing Harper's shoe and Theresa's foot. Also Alex considers throwing one of the pig's to Mason's Big Bad Wold. Note that the "pigs" aren't actually pigs but just Zeke, Justin and Max with snouts. What is it with this show and eating people? Oh and Harper's ball dress shows a rather nice amount of cleavage, for a Disney show anyway.
 * In the finale, Harper says that the Smarty Pants could be dangerous, to which Zeke replies something to the effect of "How could they be dangerous? They don't have a zipper."
 * The Ogre from Alex and Harper's appartment asked if he could sleep next to Harper in the creepiest way possible (he would have been rooming with the Russo since the 13th floor apartment didn't exist anymore and the tenants all needed a place to stay). Whether or not it was only part of a ploy by Alex to get Harper to move back to the basement apartment helps or not is up to you. Similarily, Mason applied as a roommate for Alex and Harper. He blantantly wanted to get back with Alex at that point and from what we saw of the apartment set there were no closed off bedrooms. Yeah.