Benzaie

"Your daily dose of horny French hardcore gamer"

- Benzaie

"BUT WAIT!"

- Benzaie



A Channel Awesome reviewer for That Guy With The Glasses and Blistered Thumbs. Benzaie is a hyperactive French retro gamer with a self-deprecating sense of humor who hosts "Games That You Might Don't Know but That are Still Pretty Damn Sweet", a look back at obscure old games, mostly for the Sega Saturn and Neo-Geo. He has a pet/sidekick/roommate/son/brother/ lover, Beary Bear, and a tongue-in-cheek rivalry with fellow TGWTG member That Dude in the Suede. Also hosts FAQ You, Hard Corner, and Heavy Metal Package, as well as his Benzaie's Top Five segment. His GameFap and Let's Fap shows are hosted by one of his other characters, Master Bate.

There's a list of stuff by him here.

"''(Off screen) "IT SUCKS!" Benzaie: "Beary, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I know it was you!""
 * Affectionate Parody: In Spoony's review of Mazes and Monsters, Benzaie makes a guest appearance and decides to have his own fun with the controversy over the Critic's The Room review by dressing up and acting as Tommy Wiseau.
 * A.I. Is a Crapshoot: The titular Computer in "Computer and Spaceman".
 * Anything That Moves: Master Bate. He even fucked a coat, because it was vaguely human-shaped.
 * Author Filibuster: The first part of his Rapelay review consists of him ranting about the American overreaction to a game that wasn't even available in the American market.
 * He follows this up in his Can't Escape the Heroine review with Beary going on a long rant pointing out the hypocrisy of a game about male on female rape being banned, but not a game about female on male rape.
 * To which Bate himself replied "Hey! That bear talks!"
 * Badass Beard: When he has one.
 * Beary Funny: Duh.
 * Bilingual Bonus: In the end of Benzaie's Moktar review, he has a flashback with a conversation in French. None of the English subtitles match.
 * Bi the Way: "Yes, I like dudes as well."
 * For a while, he very ambiguous about the whole thing and didn't go beyond hints, but eventually said in an Q&A vlog, "Let's just say, officially, I'm bi."
 * Butt Monkey: Beary.
 * Casanova Wannabe: The "FAQ You" segments.
 * Bate is very confident about his sex life and his ability to score with women. It's implied that he's pretty much this without the failure part mentioned in the trope, but doesn't quite completely cross into either Handsome Lech or Casanova territory.
 * Catch Phrase:
 * "Laaaaaame!"
 * "But wait!" (subtitles: "Attendez!")
 * "I loe (insert noun here)!"
 * "Oh, boy!" (cue ending theme)
 * "Waddafuk? Dees ees boo-sheet!" Lovingly parodied by almost everyone on Channel Awesome.
 * Character Blog: Beary's Facebook page.
 * Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: He briefly discusses the topic in the beginning of this video. In Song!
 * Cool Shades: Master Bate.
 * Culture Clash: According to one of Spoony's vlogs, this happened when he was introduced to the concept of sales tax being excluded from the price tag, which does not happen in Europe.
 * Judging by how often it was mentioned in the "TGWTG Does Benzaie" anecdotes, this is apparently something of a Berserk Button for him now.
 * According to Spoony's commentary, while filming Kickassia, he got confused and then angry over seeing "pie a la mode" on a menu. In English, it means "pie with ice cream", but in French it means "pie of the style". Both he and the other critics concluded that America was fucked up.
 * Deal with the Devil: When you make a deal with the devil, or Ze Sad Panda in this case, you have to play Street Fighter on the Amstrad 464 CPC. The prize for winning: The computer itself.
 * Depraved Bisexual: In character he has done some very, very sick things, and although his bisexuality isn't really a part of it, it adds to the package.
 * Master Bate on the other hand (as well as being Anything That Moves level horny) is pretty fucking depraved every time he appears.
 * Dolled-Up Installment: Played for Laughs, After watching Benzaie even up the score against Handsome Tom in a match of Street Fighter II, Master Bate comments that he hasn't been this excited since the announcement of "Rapelay 2: MarzGurl Edition".
 * Don't Explain the Joke: He loves to do this often, but does this most notably in his review of You Can't Escape the Heroine.
 * Driven to Suicide: Benzaie, after realising Robert Patrick was in the Double Dragon movie. He got better.
 * Everything Sounds Sexier in French: Anytime he speaks in French in a video.
 * The Faceless: Invoked with this photo.
 * Fan Disservice: in the Let's Fap for "X-Change," whenever he gets to a sex scene he ha a tendency to start using strange voices, including his Hard Corner voice (for the male-turned-female protagonist), Kermit the Frog, a pirate, and Beary
 * Benzaie in general loves doing this.
 * Greek Chorus: Beary.

""Kinda like sodomy, I mean, White Castle""
 * Gag Boobs: Bate goes nuts for women in Hentai that have this.
 * Gag Penis: Bate himself.
 * Gender Bender: Apparently this is what happens when a guy watches too much Jem and The Holograms
 * Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Beary is probably experiencing one.
 * Ho Yay: Benzaie makes it pretty damn clear in his review of "Beverly Hills Cop: The Movie: The Game" that he just wants to touch some other guys in his rap song. Namely Phelous and Spoony.
 * I'm a Humanitarian: In his IK+ review,
 * Keet: Most of Benzaie's characters.
 * Let's Play: So Many That He Has A Separate Section At The Index.
 * His Bate character has one called "Lets Fap", where he plays through Cobra Mission on the DOS platform, claiming it to be one of the very first interactive games featuring animated nudity. Of course, all the nudity itself is censored for the review.
 * Luke, I Am Your Father: Bate + Facehugger = Bearie!??
 * ''"Oh, boy!" (cue ending theme)'
 * Mr. Fanservice: He frequently does cameos in other TGWTG members' videos in which he is either in his underwear, or completely naked.
 * This includes his turn as Conan during Suburban Knights, which eventually backfired since the weather was very uncooperative.
 * Multiple Choice Past: Beary has about as many origin stories as Dr. Insano.
 * Needs More Love: The premise of GYMDK and GSYMDK.
 * Non-Human Sidekick: Beary.
 * Oh, Boy!
 * Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: As he said in his Vlog, he is one pasty white man.
 * Refuge in Audacity: The Jizz-O-Meter Rating Scale, among other things in GameFAP. Bate's horniness is the driving force behind his actions for EVERYTHING.
 * Ruined FOREVER: On one of his Lets Faps, he told his cohost to "make the Cookie Monster noise". Her response? "You just ruined Cookie Monster forever"
 * Running Gag:Subverted.Whenever Ben comes up with a new running gag he tries to kill it as fast as possible
 * Robot Me:
 * Saved From Development Hell: Sonic the Hedgehog Pocket Adventure was on his games to talk about list since 2008.
 * Shirtless Scene: Probably more then all the other shirtless scenes on the site, but hey he's french.
 * Something Completely Different: There's his Signature Style, and then there's the serious, informative interviews he does for DigitalGames.fr. His top 10 films of the 80s, 90s and "2Ks" were also very analytical.
 * Stealth Pun: "I'm your host, Bate, the master of hentai games and subtle puns."
 * Stoic Spectacles: Part of his appeal.
 * Sweet Tooth: He likes Mountain Dew and cheese cake, though it might be be the Forbidden Fruit nature of them as they're unavailable in France
 * Take That


 * Testosterone Poisoning: The "Benzaie's Hard Corner" and "Heavy Metal Package" segments. The cute bear stays even then.
 * Twofer Token Minority: Not only is he French, he's also openly bisexual and an atheist.
 * Video Review Show
 * Wholesome Crossdresser/Attractive Bent Gender: He dresses up as a women a lot, and looks damn fine doing it too.
 * Except for the beard, of course.
 * Wife Husbandry: Beary is both Benzaie's adopted son and future husband. He also once tried to hook Benzaie up with his sister, Sega Game Gear.