Mein Kamphy Couch

""The good always die young, but pricks live forever.""

- Lewis Black. This summarizes the entire thing.

A Digimon Fan Fiction written by some crazy, hormone-addled teenager. It follows the adventures of Rochelle, your usual Naive Everygirl, only she's seven years old. Makes Lyrical Nanoha seem normal. Anyway, she is one day taken into the Digital World with her twin brother, Fenri, and their fourteen-year-old cousin, Franz. The story has several allusions to All Quiet on the Western Front, since Rochelle's entire family is named after characters in the books. Except for, well, Those Two Guys.

It's an elaborate joke, and like all elaborate jokes, someone's bound to take it real seriously. I'd like to say it was written in an attempt to get everyone to stop acting like Digimon Tamers is the darkest Digimon-related thing in creation.

...Let the troping begin. Oh, and here it is.


 * Abusive Parents: More like abusive mom. She stops being abusive though, at least somewhat.
 * Age-Appropriate Angst: You know... assuming that Rochelle has angst.
 * And That's Terrible: Admit it...
 * An Arm and a Leg: Myotismon rips off Rochelle's arm.
 * Another Dimension: The Digital World, which only pops up once. Gee, sure is lacking that whole Digimon feel to it.
 * Big Fancy House: Not fancy, but still pretty damn big.
 * Bloodier and Gorier: God, remember the original?
 * Body Horror: Listen up, people: When a closely-related work involves the emotionless dude machine-gunning a dude in a stomach and disemboweling him, you know something's up.
 * Book Ends: Something in the beginning involves complaining and sitting on a couch... Now guess how it ends. Well, yeah, there really seems to be something wrong with sitting on a couch and complaining after your daughter has died a terrible death, but at least we know it's justified.
 * Break the Cutie: Rochelle's entire family dies, along with her boyfriend. Gee, that sure is nowhere near as terrible as what happened to Jeri, right?
 * But Not Too Foreign: Koga and his family.
 * Chick Magnet: Kim.
 * Crack Fic: Along with all other stories written by this hormone-addled teenager.
 * Cheerful Child: Rochelle, probably. Either that or
 * Creepy Child
 * Complete Monster: ...Yep.
 * Cruel and Unusual Death: Pretty much all the deaths. They range from some guy getting his lungs ripped out to some other guy bleeding to death, which is bad enough, but dude...
 * Dark and Troubled Past: Rochelle's past, obviously. Then again, said past is the first half of the story, so yeah.
 * Dark Fic: More like your usual elaborate-joke-dark. You know, like a... certain other fanfiction.
 * The Dandy: Narcimon somewhat. Then again, he is based off of Adam Ant, like virtually every attractive character in this teenager's stories.
 * Deus Angst Machina: This is the only way to describe what happens to poor Rochelle.
 * Downer Ending
 * Driven to Suicide: Willhelm, eventually.
 * Gonk: Koga's supposed to be real ugly.
 * Heroic BSOD: Rochelle's reaction to waking up in a hospital, unable to move her arms.
 * Ill Girl: Rochelle.
 * Jerkass: Like, everyone. I am not kidding.
 * Jerkass Victim: ...Ahahaha.
 * Kill'Em All: Go on, name one character who does not die.
 * Les Yay: Between Rochelle and Inge.
 * Loads and Loads of Characters
 * Made of Plasticine: My god.
 * Hey, not everyone can survive getting their lungs ripped out. What do you think is the entire point of the blood eagle thing?
 * Naive Everygirl: Rochelle starts out like this. Needless to say, she does not stay this way.
 * Redemption Equals Death: Eva or whatever her name is (Helga?) literally dies as she starts being a little nicer to poor Rochelle.
 * Stalker with a Crush: Chiromon.
 * There Are No Therapists: Well, do you really think they'd be able to help?
 * Those Wacky Nazis: ...They're Nazis. What stereotype they represent, though, is up to you.
 * Too Dumb to Live: Everyone, man.
 * Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Somewhat justified, though, considering what Rochelle goes through.
 * Unfamiliar Ceiling: This has to be what happens after Rochelle gets her arm torn off.
 * Yandere: Chiromon.
 * Yangire: Also Chiromon.