Ineffectual Death Threats/Quotes

"Crystal: You little twit, I'm gonna kill you! Belkar: Yeah, and I'm gonna drop a house on you and sing about how I represent the Lollipop Guild. C'mon, let's keep our threats realistic here, shall we? I mean, if you said, "You little twit, I'm going to temporarily inconvenience you!" I'd think, hey, she might really mean it! But seriously, you? Kill me? Never going to happen."

- The Order of the Stick

"It's nice to have a friend to help you get to Heaven... A special friend who's got an AK-47..."

- Sock's Jingle, The Stephanie Miller Show

"Han Solo: Welcome aboard Mon Remonda. Let's get the rest of your pilots in... so I can get out of this torture suit.

Wedge Antilles: But, sir, I was just going to say how smart you looked in your uniform. I think we ought to stay here, in uniform, a couple of hours so the holographers can capture the image. You know, for the historians.

Han: Wedge, I think I'm going to have you killed.

Wedge: Yes, sir. I trust you'll wear your dress uniform for an event like that."

- X-Wing: Solo Command

"SILENCE! I keel you!"

- Achmed the Dead Terrorist

""Every night for the next year he always said something like that to me: 'Thank you for everything, Westley, good night now, I'll probably kill you in the morning.'""

- Westley, The Princess Bride

"EEEEEEENGH! I'll strangle that Clyde Cash!"

- Christian Weston Chandler, Sonichu

""Oh, not now, Locksley! ''M gonna kill you! Gonna kill you!'""

- The Sheriff, Robin Hood