Crazy Stupid Love/Funny

"Emily: "I'm trying to think about what I want..." (looks at restaurant menu) Cal: "Why don't we just say it at the same time? One, two three..." Emily: "I want a divorce." Cal: (simultaneously) "Creme brulee...""
 * Robbie's speech about the people in The Scarlet Letter all being assholes.
 * "Take off your shirt." (Jacob does so) "Fuck! Seriously?! It's like you're Photoshopped!"
 * That entire "PG-13"-rated night at Jacob's. Also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, but the quick cut between Hannah in bed with Jacob and Hannah still with soggy wet hair propped up in the massage chair enthusiastically declaring it's nowhere near as fun as it'd seem is hilarious.
 * Cal fainting from the heat in the sauna and landing with his face on Jacob's junk.
 * Hell, the cut from the change room to the sauna, showing that in both rooms, Jacob proudly has his junk in Cal's face.
 * "You know when I told you I had to work late? I really went to see the new Twilight movie by myself. And it was so bad!"
 * Cal literally getting out of a moving car to roll in the street when his wife starts talking about why she wants a divorce.
 * The following:

"Cal: "Who told you that Emily and I are getting divorced?" Cal's Boss: "Amy heard you crying in the bathroom - we all thought it was cancer." Cal: "Oh...." Cal's Boss: "Thank God, man..." (laughing) Cal: (laughs) "Yeah, just my relationship...""
 * The following:

"Kate: "What do you want to do with me?!" Cal: "I want to show you off to my ex-wife and make her really jealous!" Kate squeals excitedly and jumps on top of Cal on the sofa."
 * The following:


 * Jacob to Cal who's sucking on a straw. "Would you take that straw out of your mouth please because it looks like your sucking on a tiny dick."
 * Not dick, schwanz, which is somehow that much funnier.
 * The entire climax of the movie is one. It is awesome.