The VelociPastor



The VelociPastor is a short, faux Grindhouse trailer made by Brendan Steere. Released to YouTube in 2011, after which it was featured on numerous blogs and screened on G4's Attack of the Show.

It was adapted into a feature film, released in 2019.


 * Acceptable Targets: Doug uses his powers to kill members of the Mafia.
 * Celebrity Endorsement: The Huffington Post article mentions that the news came to them Rosario Dawson approved.
 * Doing It for the Art: The film was scratched manually in a black room. Then it was baked in an oven.
 * Dull Surprise: Carol.
 * Everything's Better with Dinosaurs
 * If You Know What I Mean: "What are you gonna do?" "What I do best." Cue makeout.
 * Large Ham: The mafia boss.
 * "I don't care what this thing is, or where it came from, it's carved a path through most of my men! I want this thing FOUND and I want it DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!"
 * Mad Doctor
 * One-Scene Wonder: "There's no known cure!"
 * Painful Transformation
 * Sexy Priest
 * Shout-Out: The priest's name is Doug Jones
 * Sinister Minister
 * Stylistic Suck: A boom mic comes egregiously into shot at 1:45.