Zombieland/Funny

"Wichita: "This is the freeway, so you can go up to 65, but you don't want to go over 75..." Columbus: "You don't want to go over 20!""
 * Tallahassee raging about the Hostess truck being filled with snowballs, when.
 * Columbus trying to ride off on a motorcycle to save Little Rock and Wichita like a heroic Badass... and failing.
 * "Thank God for rednecks!" After finding a very hillbilly house with an H3 Hummer. With a case of weapons in the back.
 * After prising (the remains of) an arm off the Hummer's steering wheel, Tallahassee using it to the give Columbus the finger.
 * "I'm in Garland, Texas. And it may look like zombies destroyed it, but that's actually just Garland."
 * The zombie three-legged race in the opening sequence. Note how the opening sequence alternates between awesome and funny with every shot?
 * Columbus revealing his greatest fear while sitting on a toilet (fortunately its only his imagination).
 * No mention of the stereotypical Suburban Mom Van being mobbed by an army of small zombie princesses?
 * Three Words; Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker. Also qualifies for.
 * During the driving montage, the brief shot of Little Rock explaining how Hannah Montana works to a surprisingly enthralled Tallahassee. With "Popular" by Kristin Chenoweth playing in the background.
 * And the bit of the montage where Little Rock is driving.

"Columbus: To Tallahasee You're like a giant cockblocking robot built in a secret fucking government lab."
 * On repeated viewings, when you realise that the guy who gets killed in the bathroom to demonstrate rule #3 is the same guy who gets conned by Wichita and Little Rock in their flashback.
 * After the girls :

"Little Rock: No Twinkies. Tallahassee: Shit-fuck!"
 * After Little Rock, Tallahassee shrieks "Don't kill me with my own gun!"
 * When they're raiding  kitchen.

"As Columbus runs from the zombies at the gas station, the rule appears and one of the zombies smashes hip-first into the rule nad breaks it. In lap two, that zombie is limping far behind."
 * Tallahassee gushing over  -- "I've been watching your movies since I was...old enough to masturbate! Not that those two things are connected."
 * When Columbus finally overcomes his coulrophobia by smashing in the face of a zombie clown with a sledgehammer, the impact of the blow causes a comical clown nose *Honk*.
 * Tallahassee: I've never been good with goodbyes so... That'll do pig.
 * That was the worst goodbye ever, and he stole it from a movie.
 * The appearances of the rules on screen when they're applied. The words appear on the screen, always in a manner appropriate to the scene - and when "Enjoy the little things" floats over a destroyed tacky souvenir shop, cracking, creaking and the word 'things' about to fall off the sentence at any moment...it's a hilarious visual gag.
 * Even better is the rule #1 Cardio.

"Little Rock: "Do you have any regrets?""
 * Columbus giving both barrels to
 * Not to mention this quote following that scene:

"Columbus: * holding a blender as a weapon* Now listen, 406, I don't want to hurt you but-- Columbus: "...Shit.""
 * What about his final breath going on FAR too long
 * The Stinger is even better.
 * Tallahassee attracting zombies by playing "Dueling Banjos" from Deliverance on a banjo, then smashing a charging zombie's head in with it while yelling "You've got a purdy mouth!"
 * This part of the 406 sequence:
 * blender falls apart*

"Little Rock: Who's ? Tallahassee: ...I've never hit a child, but asking who  is?? That's like asking who Gandhi is!! Little Rock: ...who's Gandhi?"
 * "You've never heard of Willie Nelson?" "No." "Willie. Nelson."
 * Later...

"Tallahassee: Look, whatever you have waitin' for you in Columbus, I promise you it ain't any prettier then our friend here enjoying her manwich."
 * "Blind spots are for other drivers!"
 * How about when Columbus and Tallahassee are talking about the last time they got laid and they see a zombie in the middle of the road eating a person?

"Tallahassee: [Pacific Playland] totally blows! [Little Rock and Wichita give Tallahassee angry looks] Tallahassee: ... my mind. Just fun for the whole family."
 * Tallahassee then steers the Cadillac around, driving at a reasonable speed and opens the door, smacking the zombie in the face while he laughs.
 * "Somebody's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it!"
 * Columbus chucking the whiskey out the car window is done so perfectly, it's probably the best example of quickly-disposing-of-stuff-whilst-other-person-ain't-looking on film.
 * Tallahassee's verbal backtrack:

"Columbus: Oh my god, look at this fucking clown."
 * "Oh. My. God. You're thinking about fucking Wichita. Well, wish granted, boy! She's been fucking us for the past 24 hours!"
 * Wichita punking Columbus for the second time and going Bummer.
 * Columbus' final stand off with a zombie clown. The scenario is hilarious enough, but what he says before we see the clown is what sells it.