Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (novel)/Funny

"Madam Pomfrey: I'm keeping you in overnight. You shouldn't over exert yourself for a few hours. Harry: I don't want to stay here overnight, I want to find McLaggen and kill him. Madam Pomfrey: I'm afraid that would come under the heading of 'over-exertion'."
 * The entire first chapter. The Muggle Prime Minister's reaction to Fudge and his antics is absolutely hilarious, and had me nearly in tears the first time I read it.
 * The previous Prime Minister who threw Fudge out of the window is heavily hinted at being Maggie Thatcher who became slowly insane during her last years. This means that the current (at this point of the story) Prime Minister, John Major, only had one more year left before Blair. Let's see how HE takes Scrimegour's arrival via Floo!!
 * That's a funny thought,.
 * "Yeah, ghosts are transparent, but Inferi are dead bodies, aren't they. So they'd be solid--”"
 * "It's good to know six years of magical education have not been lost on you. Ghosts are transparent."
 * Snape's retort about Ron's Apparition failures isn't bad either.
 * Gryffindor's second Quidditch match. In layman's terms: Gryffindor's goalkeeper tries to take the defender position, Harry, as the team Captain, goes complaining. He wakes up hours later in the Hospital Wing, with a cracked skull.

"Ron: "Final score: Three-hundred-and-twenty to... sixty.""
 * This always gets me. Talking about the above Quidditch match:

"Slughorn: And Odo the hero, they bore him back home, to the place that he knew as a lad, they laid him to rest with his hat inside out, and his wand snapped in two, which was sad. Hagrid: (about how good people die young) ...terrible. Slughorn: Sorry. Can't carry a tune to save my life."
 * Then shortly afterward Ron casually mentions that Ginny had stopped by while Harry was unconscious. "Harry's imagination immediately went into overdrive, swiftly constructing a scene in which a tearful Ginny confessed her feelings of deep attraction while Ron gave them his blessing..." Only to have it implode when Ron mentions she was just wondering why he was so late for the match.
 * "But the more I hint I want to finish it, the tighter she holds on. It's like going out with the giant squid."
 * Try not to laugh when Hagrid and Slughorn get hammered and start singing a sad song. You will fail.´

"Snape: This is your book? Harry: Yeah. Snape: Then why does it has 'Roonil Wazlib' in it? Harry: (beat) That's my nickname. Snape: Your nickname. Harry: That's what my friends call me. Snape: I understand what a nickname is."
 * "We're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"
 * What about the "Roonil Wazlib" scene?

"Harry: Yes. Snape: Yes sir. Harry: There is no need to call me sir, professor."
 * Luna, perhaps out of desperation, being chosen to comment on the Quidditch match.
 * Peeves blocking a hallway and claiming he won't allow anyone to go through unless they set their pants on fire. Harry and Ron just take a different route. Five minutes later, Neville comes in, smoking and looking for a pair of pants to change into.
 * This exchange:


 * Ron diving behind Hermione every time he thinks Lavender is passing by: "Hide me!"
 * The students first seeing the love potion and how they just, sort of, float toward it.
 * "Yes, Harry Potter! And if Dobby does it wrong, Dobby will throw himself off the topmost tower, Harry Potter!"