Fullmetal Alchemist (manga)/Funny

Manga/Brotherhood:
"Wrath:"
 * Wrath's pre-battle speech to  in Episode 60.

"May: HOW DARE YOU DESTROY A MAIDEN'S PURE HEART, YOU LITTLE MITE OF RICE!!!"
 * May Chang's dream is shattered once she meets the real Edward, finds out that he's not tall, and won't take her away from her father. She then calls him short.

"Ed: WHO THE HELL YOU CALL A MITE OF RICE, YOU LITTLE MITE-OF-RICE GIRL?!?
 * Then it becomes more hilarious when Al quickly assumes the worst.

Al: Brother!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT GIRL?! You said some mushy stuff to Winry, but now it's come to this?!?"

""If you don't tell me where they are...."
 * Ed sets up an ambush by prancing around in front of some soldiers going "Help meeee! I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist! And look! Over there! It's THE SERIAL KILLER, SCAR! Help meeeee!"
 * Even funnier is how Scar's just standing there almost like he's got no clue what's going on.
 * And then made even better when Ed (behind the soldiers' back) gets an absolutely demonic expression, then takes all of them out while cackling "Ha-HAAA!"
 * Hohenheims's reaction is priceless: "That wasn't very nice."
 * Don't call Izumi "old lady". Don't.
 * "I'M A HOUSEWIFE!!"
 * Then when she threatened one of the thugs outside the bar:

"So? What happened if I don't tell you?!"

"I'll give you this" in his face]

"NO YEEAKH UGH AAAH!!!!""

""HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY WOMAN!! TAKE THIS!!!"
 * Then when a crocodile chimera appears, he said something about "I love women! I got you now, little girl!" Then her HUGE husband Sig appears, and shows him who the real monster was.

"Oh dear, don't get too rough with him....""

"Barry: Hey, toots, who's the chump?
 * Episode 13, where Izumi and Ed tell Al about... that thing.
 * The military, seeking the Elrics, visits Izumi's. Her husband steps out...and Sig and Armstrong have a flex-off.
 * The Curtis' assistant calls it "a friendship born of solid muscle!"
 * This scene is also in the first anime. And this is literally how they befriend or instill respect for each other.
 * The joke is continued much later during the fight with Sloth.
 * When the Elrics first met Izumi, she was bedridden after vomiting blood, making small talk with the villagers. Then the boys called Izumi "granny" and she threw the bed she was laying in at them.
 * This troper always cracks up at Ed's opinion on milk -- "It's like drinking vomit!"
 * As well as the fight it leads to. "UGH! This is why you'll always be the size of a BEAN!"
 * Almost all of episode 15:
 * The instant we get a focus on May's Head Pet Shao May, Scar... reaches out to pet her, temporarily overcome by how damn cute she is.
 * Even funnier: the first time this Troper read that part, she first thought that he was trying to kill Shao.
 * May Chang Mind Theater.
 * When Barry The Chopper tries to stalk Riza, Riza's reaction... is to fire a revolver to him. Several times. When protesting about "why didn't you freak out?!", she responds that she's already used to seeing someone like him (Al). In no time, he falls in love with her.
 * Mustang's reaction when seeing Barry harassing Riza; "Move aside, Lieutenant. The flame power tonight is gonna be extra strong." Complete with Glowing Eyes of Doom. Of course, we thought it just for extra comedy, until.
 * I think it's much funnier in the Viz translation of the manga, where what he says has been translated to "There's going to be a FIRE tonight."

Riza: Quiet, you!

Roy: (Glowing Eyes of Doom) Move aside, Lieutenant. There's going to be a FIRE tonight."

"Ling: ] So sorry, I no understand much language of this country! Okay, bye-bye now~"
 * The image of Winry right before she clobbers Ed for breaking his arm again.
 * In the manga, we have a imagined chainsaw rampage when he detaches it!
 * Ling's excuse for destroying a good portion of a city (while doing a little shrug type dance)...

"Mustang: "I can see how you got taken in. You sure like big boobs."
 * Ed losing his older brother's dignity when Al learns to transmute without a circle.
 * Ed, after being thoroughly beaten up by Ling's bodyguards and breaking off his automail arm to finally beat Lan Fan, goes back to Garfiel's place to get patched up. When he discovers Ling sitting at the table (eating again), Ed stares at him for a beat, then uses his own broken-off arm as a club to hit Ling.
 * Havoc dramatically admitting he likes women with large racks in episode 19. The "boing" effect echoes in the Japanese version!

Havoc: "I love big boobs!" *suddenly illuminated with a sparkly golden spotlight from nowhere*"

"Havoc:
 * In the Manga "Big Boobs" was changed to "Bosomy Women," which this troper found even funnier.
 * I know it was supposed to be dramatic, but when  Mustang and Havoc running in fear is a hilarious sight.
 * Made only funnier in the anime for this troper, because

Mustang:"

"Barry: Fine! But even if you don't know who I am, shouldn't you be at least a little scared [at his Animated Armor]? Shouldn't you be going "Aaaaah!" or "What happened to your body?!" or something!
 * "CONVENIENTLY AWAKEN, MY TELEPATHIC POWERS!!"
 * And in the manga Omake, it turns out he reached Pinako. Must be the hairdo.
 * In Brotherhood's 4-Koma Theater, well...
 * Any time Ed transmutes something to make it more "badass."
 * Ed transforming a car into what looks like a Chinese New Years dragon to hide from the military.
 * What makes it funnier is that Ed thinks it looks fashionable and inconspicuous!
 * He badassified a baby stroller by adding A DRILL.
 * Dr. Knox curbstomping both May and Lan Fan.
 * Ed's Bishie Sparkle-laden attempts to draw Scar out. He's just having altogether too much fun.
 * It's even funnier in the anime, since it breaks out the Art Shift, adds even more Bishie Sparkle, and has both "wacky hijinks" music and scene cuts featuring Super Deformed, dancing Al.
 * You can practically hear the laughter in Vic's voice as he does that scene.
 * The scene after that, when serious!Roy tells them to get in the car...cue Roy being totally squished in the backseat by Al. "On second thought, let's get out of the car."
 * Speaking of someone having way too much fun, Mustang distracting the other soldiers over the radio in the same episode.
 * "I've got your soul, brother!", Al says after Winry hits Ed in the head with her wrench.
 * Mustang's expression in Episode 31 after Edward tells him "Don't you go worrying the lieutenant either!" Yes, Roy -- Everyone Can See It!
 * Al's confrontation with Barry the Chopper:
 * Al's confrontation with Barry the Chopper:


 * Al silently removes his head*

Barry: Aaaaah! What happened to your body, freak?!

Al: Hey, now that's impolite!"

"Father Armstrong: How about statues? They're big and strong!
 * In the anime, apparently Yoki had a few adventures before stumbling onto the Ishvalan camp. The black and white silent film reel style was funny enough, but the funniest is that he tried to rob the Armstrong mansion. He first runs into Alex's two hulking sisters, running away from them in fright (not that I blame him) before coming across Katherine, the cutesy moe one -- fans who watched episode 37 of the first anime know what's coming. He goes all 'awww' before she shrieks and hurls a piano at him!
 * Even funnier is his reaction to the fact that not only does nobody remember the part of his story that involves the Elrics, but nobody is even listening to him as he tells his heart-wrenching story.
 * My favorite part was the end of the story where he swears his revenge to the backdrop of a hero shot with him and his companions (Scar, Marcoh and May) standing on a mountain top in the middle of a bitter thunder storm. Every time I think about Shao May with Glowing Eyes of Doom, I start laughing again.
 * And near the end of the anime, after the main characters have been battling a homunculus to a standstill,
 * The look on Darius and Heinkel's faces when they realize that Ed is about to transmute a huge cloud of ammonia to block their super sensitive noses.
 * The evil look on Ed's face is even better, especially with his own nose plugged up.
 * The fight between Alex and Olivier in episode 45, which is already hilariously over the top, is made even funnier by the epic orchestral music score usually reserved for scenes like the Mustang/Lust fight.
 * While the rest of the family cheerfully discusses where they're going on vacation and what they'll get Olivier and Alex as souvenirs.


 * Olivier throws Alex bodily into the fountain they're walking past, half-drowning him, before pulling him out and dragging him behind her back up the stairs into the house*

Alex: *Big No*

Catherine: *completely ignoring it* If they get statues, I want one too~!"

"Alex: Are you really trying to kill me?
 * And there's this:

Olivier: You just noticed?!"

"Takes guts to take him.
 * One light-novel gives subtle hints to a parental relationship between Roy and Ed. One instance where Ed tries to get Roy's attention by pretending to be his son while said Colonel was flirting with two other women on a train. This later escalates to the point where he falsely hints to some people at an inn that he had a father in the military as to not reveal himself as a military officer. When Ed, of all people, gets kidnapped, the culprits send a message to Roy, saying that his son is being held captive. When the rest of his staff finds out, Hilarity Ensues when they start getting silly ideas about Roy taking one of his dates a bit TOO far.
 * Another light-novel funny moment happens when Ed tries to withdraw anything from his bank account to pay a restaurant bill, only to find he doesn't have access to it. He then calls Roy, who gives him a mission, and then admits that he was the one who closed Ed off from his bank account, only for the sake of trying to talk to Ed.
 * In the very same novel the team comes to rescue Ed. Who in the meantime has transmuted a building. Roy's remark on this: This looks like a piece of art. BAD art.
 * Same context: Al and Roy sneaking through the building. And Al tries to draw his brother out by WHISPERING: "Hey, shorty!" On the second attempt it works... on the first, when it doesn't, Al merely muses that Edward must be on another floor. This is hilarious itself, but it gets leveled up per 100% when it comes out Al is pretty damn right.
 * Same novel: The team finds out WHO was the supposed abducted son. Edward. Now, start they to worry about the kid? Nope.

Shall we hold a service?"

"Al: Big brother, you're sleeping with your stomach out again-al. You can't choose this path-al. I wanna become human again-al. If you say anything I'm gonna lose it-al.
 * Even Al worries more about the safety of the abductors than for his own brother. And - as a few things in the novel - it gets even more hilarious when it turns out they were right.
 * Some of the Yonkoma in the volume omakes can be gut-busting hilarious. This troper's two favorites:
 * Al becomes "Hero for a Day", and quickly discovers how The Hero is very often on the receiving end of Fan Service, which he calls "Non-stop sexy times." Ed has to then remind him that The Hero is also often on the receiving end of grievous injuries.
 * Another promotes the first Wii game, whereupon Roy witnesses a horde of women swooning over Identical Stranger Prince Cladio of Aerugo before the narrator mentions that "When playing as Mustang, you can also spontaneously combust!".
 * Others include Al's attempts to gain reader popularity...through cheesy anime gimmicks. He tries everything from wearing animal ears to losing weight; Failure Is the Only Option. The one to crown them all, though, is when he adopts a Verbal Tic and tests it out on some of his previous lines. The clincher? It's his own name.

-beat-

Al: So, what do you think, big brother-al?

Ed: ...Weird..."

"Olivier: Hyacinths.
 * One that arguably comes across even funnier in the anime -- Ed is in a hospital bed trying to tell Winry that despite his seeming affability, she shouldn't trust Kimblee. So, he starts saying that during his conversation with Hawkeye, he learned of the terrible things Kimblee did in Ishval. The funny part comes in because Ed then remembers the other thing that came out during that conversation -- Riza commenting on his love for Winry. So, Ed gets distracted and to steady his mind, starts randomly spouting the periodic table of elements like the Black Speech.
 * Episode 46: After a double-meaning conversation about how, Roy uses some flowers given to Olivier to conceal a note telling her that . This leads to this exchange:

Roy: You know what they represent? Those hyacinths--know what they mean?

Olivier: I don't.

Roy: *Giant dorky smile* They represent ladylike charm~!

Olivier: GET OFF MY PROPERTY!

Roy: I thought you'd like them..."

"I did something! I did something!"
 * Episode 5: Ed having met Scar for the first time and running for his life "What's this about! Making enemies is something I've never... really avoided... but that's no reason for someone to try and kill me!"
 * Darius and Heinkel pretending to take Ed "hostage" when their hiding place at a local clinic is unexpectedly found by soldiers, in an attempt to bluff their way past the other group. Ed spends the entire time blankly chewing on a piece of bread until they called him short while the chimeras haul him around like a slab of meat.
 * Episode 9: "Yo, Ed m'boy! Is it true you invited a pretty blonde girl into your room to service you?" And after Ed tries to correct him... "Oh I see. So you seduced your mechanic, have you?"
 * Then he basically kidnaps Winry into his daughter's birthday party.
 * Minutes later, poor Winry witnesses Hughes pulling a gun on a few of his daughter Elicia's male friends.
 * Episode 52: Alphonse has been trapped by Pride, who launches a shadow spear at Marcoh. Who comes to the rescue by ramming Pride with a car? Yoki, who is sobbing in fear.

"Yoki: Scar! You're my friend, aren't you?!
 * Another one: a bunch of guys working at Central Radio pretending to be hostages for the benefit of Central command so that Mustang and company can broadcast an interview with Mrs. Bradley. Their boss is sitting at his desk, twirling the phone cord around his finger, saying how "They have guns to our heads and said they're going to shoot us if we try to stop the broadcast" while his entire staff stands around and cracks up. And when they ask to speak to Roy, he yells, "No, no! Please, don't hurt me!" before hanging up.
 * Episode 43, Envy reacting to the "Landmines that only respond to Homunculi" with all the spikes, fists, and giant pointed fingers. It's awesome and hilarious.
 * Pretty much everything involving Envy in that episode, especially when his true TRUE form comes out.
 * Envy being reduced to Sleep Mode Size tries to get away by fusing with Yoki and using him as hostage. Nobody is impressed but Scar's reaction is the best:

Scar looks the other way

Yoki: LOOK AT ME YOU TRAITOR!"

"Roy: We'll say that Falman has benn taken hostage by a manic psycho. [SMASH] Hey, what was that?
 * The way Mustang avoids getting hit in the manga after . The other characters literally pick him up and throw him out of the way.
 * YMMV, that just made me feel even more sorry for the poor guy. Someone that Badass suddenly getting turned into The Load...
 * I just went an took a third option: I felt bad for the poor  dude, but that scene was goddamned funny.
 * After the commander from Drachma realizes he gets a quick Oh Crap face before being hit by artillery. His hat floats to the ground, only to be hit by another shell.
 * Barry the Chopper telephones Roy with information about Maria Ross, not realizing that Roy's office phone is tapped. Roy avoids suspicion by pretending that "Bunny" is one of his many girlfriends. Barry catches on and starts acting like the most Sickeningly Sweet girlfriend imaginable, with lines like "you widdle Bunnykins just had to talk to you" and "I wuv yuuuu!" Then Roy hangs up so he can continue the conversation from the phone booth outside, and Barry just stares at the phone waiting while Fuery just looks on in horror. What sells the scene is that Barry never changes his expression from a goofy grin, though the following dialogue makes it clear he was annoyed at having to act like that.
 * And the following bit:

Barry: I didn't want to explain everything to [Falman], so I K-O ed him."

- Roy: Huh.

"Ed:"
 * Ed's in Chapter 108 is adorably hilarious. The total alchemy nerd he is, he tries to use Equivalent Exchange . Winry's expression when she realizes this is priceless.

"Olivier: "Several years ago, before I came here, there was rumor of a strange woman stealing food from the fortress...""
 * Winry's reaction  is no less hilarious. She babbles for about thirty seconds about
 * Shao May's pyramid of importance after realizing Al isn't bothered by her teeth. At the top: Al. The next level: Shao May and May Chang. Then: Scar. Next: amoebae and other single cell organisms. At the bottom: Ed and Yoki.
 * Pretty much anything General Grumman is involved in. Most notably when he  The look on Roy's face when he realizes who it is is absolutely priceless.
 * Every time Ed hears anything about small. He actually accepted that fact sometime later...with much, much difficulty.
 * Every time Izumi got ticked off.
 * Times when Ed goes to Winry with trashed automail.

""Did he really have to remove his shirt?"
 * And we see exactly what went on as an OVA!
 * The epic orchestral music in episode 45 during the fight between Alex and Olivier.
 * That scene counts with or without the music.
 * The BGM track is called Battle Scherzo, and anytime it plays, a CMOA, which that scene doubles as, is assured.
 * Pretty much anytime Armstrong isn't fighting. You gotta love his bishonen sparkles. Armstrong's catch phrase "This has been passed down through the Armstrong family!" was funny everytime.
 * Episode 55: Alex and Olivier's reactions to  Especially Olivier's reaction.
 * Just after the second Greed has possessed Ling, he and Wrath have a conversation. Wrath makes a derisive coment toward humanity, and Ling suddenly regains control of his body for a second and shouts "DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HUMANS!" This on its own is not funny. What is funny is Wrath's 0_0 expression right afterward. For someone who's usually pretty serious, that was golden.
 * When Ross and Brosh realize Ed and Al escaped their room to go to the 5th Labratory they frantically chase after them because, if they don't, Major Armstrong will take off his shirt and yell at them.
 * During one of Armstrong's famous shirtless scenes:

"Are you surprised, he's clearly insane.""

"Winry: How could you ruin it so much in such short amount of time?
 * One almost immediately before Mustang vs Envy: Envy is chasing May through the Homunculus base, and May throws down a bunch of kunai to create an alkahestry circle. Envy tries to stop but can't, and he's blasted through the floor.
 * Almost all of the second OVA. Ed and Al really don't want to visit Winry with a busted automail, but then Ed sees a jewelery shop...

Ed: Hehehe...

Winry: [Disappointed] Don't you "hahaha" me. [Charging with wrench] And you never even give us even a singe phone call!

Ed: [Full counter attack face and holding out the earrings] They're gifts, take them!

Winry: [Stops in her tracks] Well, I guess you can't help it.

Ed and Al: [Wide evil grin] The souvenir plan is a success!

Video, 55 seconds in"

"Greed: I don't wanna hear any regrets.
 * Fuhrer Mustang VS Fuhrer Olivier: During one of the manga yonkomas, the men were discussing whether Mustang or Olivier would eventually be elected the next Fuhrer. Despite Olivier's superior connections and status, the men were firmly supportive of Mustang due to his Mini Skirt Uniform policy... that is, until Olivier announces that, if it helps with the work effeciency, she also has no objections against the Mini Skirt Uniform policy. Olivier's popularity ranking immediately goes through the roof.
 * Am I the only person who laughs at Barry the Chopper's question "How many people get to cut up their own bodies" (Not a direct quote), laughs manically and, when he is refused permission to do so, says something like "Hey, it's my body! I can do what I want with it!"
 * The English dub of Episode 45 has this little gem, where Ed agrees to work for Greed, to the chagrin of Darius and Heinkel.

Ed: Gimme a break! I've already got a million regrets! What's one more?

Darius & Heinkel: (deadpan) A million and one."

"Soldier 1: Winry's gone...
 * In chapter 76, Ed transmutes a suit of armor identical to Al's to disguise one of the Briggs soldiers in order to keep Kimblee from finding out Al is missing. Said soldier's painfully awkward attempts to move around in the clunky suit make Kimblee more than a little suspicious.
 * Episode 41 of the anime takes it a step further thanks to the soldier's Larynx Dissonance while trying to mimic Al's voice, which is only stated (but not heard) in the manga.
 * The Anime Vegas 2010 Panel. It must be seen to believed.
 * In the manga, after Winry leaves Briggs to go along with Ed and Al, we cut to the soldiers of Briggs, who are less than happy about her being gone:

Soldier 2: Our precious female resource...

Soldier 3: I miss her charms...

Soldier 4: She was the flower of our fort...

Briggs Doctor: Our boss is female too, remember?

Soldier 5: She's too scary to be a woman!"

"Roy Mustang: When we're alone, the Lieutenant calls me cutie pretty lovely lighter! *gets shot twice*"
 * In Episode 14 of the 4-Koma Theater, we get this:

"Winry: EYAAAAAAAAH!
 * In episode 46, Winry returns home and begins changing, and, once she pulls her shirt off up to the underboob, realizes there's a paralyzed from shock Ed in the corner of the room, her reaction was priceless.
 * It gets better, if you can believe that.

Briggs men: *burst in with guns* Hey! What's the matter?

Ed: AAH!

Briggs soldier: When did Edward Elric get here?

Chimera soldiers: *appear with guns* Drop your guns!

Winry's dog: *bites Chimera on the ass*

Chimera: GYAAAH!

Greed: *pulls dog away* What the hell's going on here?

Winry: Eh - Ling?

Briggs soldier: Wait, you guys are Kimblee's men, aren't you?!

Chimera soldier: Hey, I know you two. You guys are from Briggs!

Briggs soldier: You guys have been following us all this time?!

Winry's dog: *continues to bark at Greed, whose face is screaming FML*

Winry: Okay, Ed. You want to tell me what's going on here?

Ed: Looks like a cautionary tale about guns.

Winry: Don't be a smartass, tell me why you're in my room!

Ed: I just wanted someplace private to eat my sandwich!


 * argument continues in background*

Winry: *twitch* *twitch* Get OUT OF MY ROOM!!! *smashes everybody out the door with a wrench*"

"Ed: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?!? Al! You are all broken up! AAAARRRGGH!!!
 * It's a Call Back to an earlier funny moment. Specifically, when Ed comes back to the hotel after Al fought with Lust.

Al: Sorry.

Ed: In what kind of trouble you put yourself on while I was away?! And WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!?

Ling: Eating.

And Lan Fan is eating too!"

"Greed: Thanks for the help. Really saved my ass.
 * Episode 53: the Briggs soldiers are invading Central Command. One of the higher-ups inside says it would be impossible for them to break through; "They'd have to have a tank!" Then large weapons fire is heard. He looks through a telescope; cue tank.
 * In the dub of episode 56, there's this little exchange between Greed and Fu after the latter's Big Damn Heroes moment:

Fu: I wasn't trying to "save your ass." I was saving the body of the young lord.

Greed: Well, it's the same ass."

"''' : BWHAHAHAHAHAHA~ What the hell is a brat doing here? Oh well. Let me have your body. I'll put it to good use.
 * The exchange between, as the latter is about to become the former.

''' : Fine... it's all yours!

''' : What?

''' : I'm saying that I'll accept you!

''' : Wouldn't people normally be against it?"

"Armstrong: WOULD YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN?! [throws a huge box at his head. Not just ANY box, it's the one where Al is stored in.]"
 * When Ed gets pelted in the face by a snowball that Al throws, in a flashback. And when Roy gets gets a face full of water in the very first episode; his expression is priceless.
 * A subordinate is getting reprimanded by Kimblee for losing track of Winry. He turns towards the camera and sticks his tongue out after apologizing.
 * In the manga, Ed calls Winry to get his automail repaired after a run-in with the homunculi and Brosh asks him if he's calling his girlfriend. Ed gets so incensed by this proposition that his yelling reopens his wounds. "WHAT GIRLFRIEND!!!!"
 * Episode 6. Armstrong, the Elrics and Dr. Marcoh's first encounter. (Before it went serious, that is.)

"Armstrong: I thought he might get lonely.
 * In regards to Al, seeing him tucked into that box and in the storage wagon (rodeated by dozens of sheep) was funny as Hell.
 * Also, Al's traumatized shock, as for the first time since he was transmuted, he was treated like a luggage box.
 * What does it for this this Troper is the exchange that immediately follows:

Ed: MY BROTHER ISN'T SOME KIND OF FARM ANIMAL!"

"Barry: (Putting his arm over Falman's shoulder) You don't look like you'd be much fun to chop up anway. Wanna be friends instead?"
 * Earlier, Ed is complaining about being treated like a child by Armstrong, looks to Al support...but Al is gushing about how, for the first time since he became armor, someone is treating him like a child.
 * Armstrong and the Elrics go to the Rockbell household. Hilarity Ensues.
 * Specially when Pinako tells Armstrong about the Elric's backstory, and when Ed returns from checking on Trisha's grave he hugs him in Manly Tears.
 * And then, in the manga, Ed's spectacular Spit Take at Hawkeye's suggestion that he loves Winry nearly drowns poor Hayate.
 * Just this line from Mustang's coup de etat, said totally seriously: "Colonel Mustang's fleeing in an ice cream truck!"
 * This troper found a personal CMOF near the end, when Major Armstrong is carrying everybody up to Central . Armstrong creates a pillar with a wide enough top to be a platform, and the lintel decoration is a sculpted mustache and Armstrong's single spitcurl of hair.
 * Falman is "volunteered" to watch over Barry by Mustang and Hawkeye.

"Dolcetto: It was only that one time!"
 * One omake has the guys in East branch wondering who would win, Ed or Roy? Roy doesn't care, because Ed isn't around to fight anyway...only to learn from Riza that only is Ed around, but is willing to take Roy on. Roy points out that a battle between State alchemists would cause immense collateral damage, but Hughes just rented the parade grounds. Roy insists that the Fuhrer would never allow such a duel to happen!...we cut to Bradley, who thinks it would be jolly good fun, and wishes Roy luck. At the end, Roy wins the duel, but he and the spectators are made to clean up the parade grounds...except for Hughes, who escaped beforehand.
 * I don't know why, but Roy calling Riza (After her run-in with Pride). When she asks him why he called, what does he say? "I got drunk and bought a carload of flowers." This troper couldn't stop snickering for HOURS. He then proceeds to ask if she would like some.
 * When Martel explains the Chimeras to Al, she tells him that Dolcetto "lifts up one leg to pee". In the manga, Dolcetto yells that he doesn't do that. In Brotherhood...

"Truth: Hello.
 * Ed meeting the Truth for the first time.

Ed: Who are you?

Truth: (throws it's arms up into the air out of joy)Oh, i'm so glad you asked."

"Al: Dad!
 * I'm amazed that no one has mentioned this one yet, but Alphonse meets Hohenheim for the first time in years:

Hohenheim: My priceless antique armour!

Al: AARRGHHH!!!!"

Other:
"Olivier: THAT ISN'T ON SALE!!!"
 * Vic Mignogna does Ed's rants while sucking on helium. And then almost headslams the table he's sitting at because he didn't expect the result to be that funny.
 * Travis Willingham does the "TINY MINISKIRTS" line while sucking on helium.
 * Barely the tip of the iceberg where the voice actors are concerned...the main cast play off each other quite well, as you can imagine (and that only continued with Ouran High School Host Club).
 * Forget the series, the commentary for Episode 10 is hilarious.
 * The commentary for episode 36 is also pretty hilarious, especially when they discuss Olivier  and how Buccaneer just happens to have a spare pair of gloves for her that he apparently carries around the whole time.
 * There's also an impression of what would happen if Olivier worked at a convenience store instead of joining the military:

"Greed: You shut your worthless mouth, Ugly!"
 * The commentary for Episode 14 (which features Chris Patton) is equally funny. For instance, Vic is complimenting Chris, telling the latter how nice of a person he always is. Immediately after he finishes saying this...

"Greed: The name's Greed.
 * Oh, the outtakes...
 * "So that was a No. 1 with tater tots and a jumbo Coke. Can I interest you in an apple pie today, sir?"
 * "The sexual method used in the Ishvalan region -- they mainly double-team."
 * "Nope, that's close. But it's called "dual cropping."
 * "How about I push you off this roof ?" "Yeah."
 * "Hey Ling...*sexual tone* how you doing?"
 * Buccaneer reciting "Rainbow Connection".
 * The final one is from episode 2, as sweet young Al gives an enthusiastic "FUCK YEAH!"
 * "Within him is a Philosopher's Stone powered by many thousands of people. You could say he used its energy to claim the powers of God for himself. Now will you please put on a FUCKING shirt?!" Even funnier since Armstrong looked generally offended.
 * Another including Armstrong: "We're on a path leading directly to the heart of the enemy! We didn't come all this way just to stop the chance to pass up my balls in the hallway!"
 * Another one from Armstrong, this time flubbing his line: "The Homunculi refer to those unfortunate enough to...unfortunately unfortunately un...folded the Portal of...Happiness. "
 * To this tropette EVERYTHING Al and Scar said was CMOF. She also appreciates this funny little shiptease:

Ed: No, Greed, I will NOT kiss you!"

"Al: So, I've been thinking about something lately.
 * "Chimeras, huh? FUCKIN' SWEET!"
 * Later, "Chimeras, huh? AH, SHIT!"
 * Al's "I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE, ASSHOLE!" to a rambling, dying Heinkel.
 * When Envy, disguised as a dog, starts impersonating Scooby Doo.
 * This "exchange" between Ed and Al:

Ed: Me too. I think we should."

"Mustang:
 * Travis Willingham hanging a lampshade on

Hawkeye:"

" : Tell me...you go by Scar, what's your real name?
 * Hohenheim is one of the many people rooting Ed on as he  by shouting "GO EDWARD!!". The outtakes' version? "FUCK HIM UP!!"
 * There's also Scar confronting Father, to which we hear the former yell "YOUR FACE ASPLODE!" when he tries to kill him.
 * One more from Armstrong: "Let's look at the door!" *Everyone in the room looks towards the doorway*
 * A pair of doozys from when Scar confronts

Scar: My name? ........ Fuck you!"

"Scar: I relented...I accepted my only choice! *extends his left arm* I brought that Shake Weight you see on TV! Ten minutes a day, everyday!"
 * followed by


 * Even though he's sick of it by now, Vic/Ed saying "Roy Mustang is dead sexy...in a miniskirt!" never fails to be hilarious.

First anime:
"Roy: "That day...all female officers will be required to wear tiny miniskirts!""
 * Colonel Mustang, Havoc, and Hawkeye are having a serious discussion about politics and Mustang's plans for becoming Fuhrer...

"Ed: "CHILDBIRTH ISN'T ALCHEMY, YOU DOPE!""
 * The best part about that line is that, up until that exact moment, Mustang had been portrayed as a humorless prick.
 * The entire birth sequence in episode 6.

"Ed (to Al as he's running away): Come on Al, don't run! Think of the kitten!
 * From the same episode, when Mustang walks into the room, deadly serious, and says, "A dog, huh?... I LOVE DOGS!!" *big dopey smile*
 * Travis Willingham's delivery for this line was inspired by his (horrible) audition for Armstrong, making the dub even funnier.
 * Actually, almost all of episode 13 ...

Al: I am! I'm the only one who is! (as the poor kitten is bouncing about Al's hollow chest cavity, trying to hold on for dear life)"

"Ed: Today's the day I finally get some damn respect [from Roy].
 * Also...

Al: What's your strategy brother?

Ed: I TOLD YOU! A FIST IN HIS FACE!"

"Hughes: Got a message from Roy.
 * Hawkeye's method of dog-potty training. To cut it short, "Since that day, a silent oath is made among West Area residents, not to cross your path with Lt. Hawkeye...."
 * The crowd rioting at Hughes stopping announcer duty to show off a billboard-sized picture of Elysia. "AH! DON'T FALL ON DADDY!"
 * Never call Ed small/chibi/short/etc...actually, do it; it results in these nearly every time.
 * Even funnier for me was the one time someone calls him a "diminuitive state alchemist." Everyone expects him to react the way he usually does, but instead he calmly tells the guy, "Points for the big word, but you're still going down."
 * There is one occasion when he admits that if he wasn't short that he couldn't do his Air Vent Passageway. He really got himself there.
 * In the PS2 game The Broken Angel, right at the start, one of the train hijackers calls Ed short, and in turn Ed transmutes a hammer from his automail arm and whacks the poor sap out the window sending him flying Team Rocket style.
 * Then there's the scene where Armstrong fights one of Greed's subordinates, who attacks him with a giant hammer. He counters the hammer with a punch, using alchemy to turn the hammerhead into a small statue of himself in a body building pose.
 * Almost all of episode 37. Especially the first half, where Roy Mustang tells his subordinates to get Lt. Havoc a girlfriend. They end up setting him up with Armstrong's sister. The second half has their investigation of the rumored "warehouse 13", which is supposedly haunted by ghosts.
 * Alex has two other sisters, both of whom look almost exactly like he does.
 * Another good moment is when we get a look at how Hawkeye starts her day. Close in her bed...the giggles she's making are a little suspicious...and she whips the sheets open to reveal Black Hayate's been licking her feet.
 * They thought they'd discovered the scene of a murder, but it turns out they just found the place where Black Hayate buries bones. This is the only scene in the whole anime that actually made this troper laugh.
 * The way Hayate just nonchalantly walks through the scene, places his bone in one of the holes they'd just dug looking for the murder victim, kicks some dirt over it, and walks away, right past Mustang's pure "WTF???" expression... XD

Ed: You mean the colonel?

Hughes: He said "Don't die under my command. You're enough of a pain without the paper work." That was it.

Ed: Tell him [in a complete deadpan tone] "Fine. There's no way I'm dying before you, you morally bankrupt colonel with a god complex.""

"Hughes: Roy, you need to make as many powerful friends around here as possible, which is why I make the suggestion *whispers* you find yourself a wife.

Mustang: *slamming phone* GIVE IT A REST!"

"Al: Hey, brother.
 * The coverup for Al's voice deepening in the dub of "Chibi Wrap Party", as if the entire OVA wasn't funny enough:

Ed: Hey, Al...what happened to your voice?

Al: It's called puberty, Ed. Maybe it'll happen to you someday.

Ed: WHAT?!"

"Al: No fair, sky. I'm the one who feels like crying."
 * In the penultimate episode,
 * During the episode where Alphonse is damaged and left at the wrong train stop, a boy finds him and makes off with him so the boy can use Al's armor for a fight. The boy is highly weirded out that Al is speaking to him and then scared out of his gourd when Al proclaims (in a hammy fashion) that he's a "cursed demon armor and will steal your body and soul when you wear him". He ends up left on the side of the road, where Ed finds him some time later covered in Shinto Spell Tags to ward off evil.
 * Earlier in the episode, both sad and hilarious, it begins raining on Al's box:

"Gracia: Well, the baby says NOW, and I'm pretty sure SHE gets to choose!"
 * When Gracia goes into labor in episode 6, she retorts with this after Maes protests that it's a bit off her due date...

"Alphonse: Now what?
 * 90% of scenes involving Alex Louis Armstrong are this. He is Large Ham at its finest.
 * The Large Ham status has passed down the Armstrong line for generations!
 * This part of the movie, when the two brothers are reunited for the first time and have to run away:

Edward: Just go!

Alphonse: Which way?!

Edward: ANY WAY!

Alphonse: I don't know where I'm going!

Edward: It's better than getting shot!"


 * Falman is trying to get a date for Havoc. He asks Sheska if she knows any smart, funny girls with great personalities. Sheska gets immediately offended that he didn't consider her. Falman clarifies that he's looking for a date for Havoc. Sheska immediately gets unoffended.