Men in Black (film)/Funny

"Edgar: I go out, I work my butt off to make a living, all I want is to come home to a nice clean house with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison. Don't you take that away, I'm eating that, damn it. It is poison, isn't it? I swear to God I would not be surprised if it was, the way you skulk around here like a dog that's been hit too much or ain't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind. You're useless, Beatrice. The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck. (then a UFO crash-lands into said truck) Edgar: (rushes outside to survey the mess) Figures."
 * The interrogation of Frank.
 * This oh so loving exchange between Edgar and his wife...

""Something funny, Edwards?" "My boy Captain America over here! Best of the best of the best, sir. With honors. Obviously, he's just really excited and he has no clue why we're here.""
 * In the recruitment sequence:

"Kay: Have a look at this, please...(triggers neuralizer) Jay: (barely able to shield his eyes with his glasses) Would you stop that?! Kay: What? Jay: That thing is gonna give that poor woman brain cancer or something! Kay: Never hurt her before...(he leaves, Jay in tow) Jay: "Never hurt her before"? Kay, how many times have you flashy-thinged that poor woman? Kay: A couple. Jay: So you're not worried about any long-term damage? Kay: A little. Jay: Kay, have you ever flashy-thinged me? Kay: No. Jay: I ain't playin', Kay! Have you ever flashy-thinged me before?! Kay: No."
 * "No, Elvis is not dead, he just went home." My favorite line in the entire movie.
 * Tommy Lee Jones happily driving the car upside down and singing along with the Elvis song. He pays the toll without missing a beat.
 * After K interrogates Jeebs in the pawnshop, he threatens him with even more bodily harm and leaves. Edwards can only say "Yeah, and, and... I'ma be back to talk about them Rolexes."
 * "Edwards. Would you care to explain why you felt Little Tiffany deserved to die?"
 * Agent K's eagerness to use the neuralizer gets on J's nerves...

"Kay: I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life form leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water, do you? Jay: Uh, wait, that was on "Final Jeopardy!" last night. Damn, Alex said..."
 * Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming in the 3rd film when you find out that
 * Identifying the Bug:

"Kay: (to Jay, looking at an alien woman in labour) And you, uh, deal with this! (Kay dodges off to talk with Reg)"
 * The alien childbirth scene. Jay is getting pummelled all over the car and screaming in the background, and Kay is just chatting calmly with Reggie. It's harder to pay attention to the foreground event, but it's pretty important. The start is particuarly hilarious.

"Kay: (pats Reggie on the back) Congratulations Reg, it's a...squid."
 * Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.

"Kay: Did anything about that seem weird to you? (Jay just stares at him, still covered in sticky squid-juice) Kay: What would scare Reg so much that he would risk a warp-jump with a newborn?"
 * And when it's over:

"Jay: I feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing!"
 * Agent J receiving the Noisy Cricket.

""Return the Galaxy to us or Earth will be destroyed. Sorry""
 * The scene in the first movie where Jay accidentally releases the alien super ball that caused the 1977 New York blackout in MIB HQ.
 * I found the message that threatens to destroy the Earth if the Galaxy isn't returned to be funny. Not the message itself, but more of how they end it.


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