Spoof Aesop/Quotes

""Remember, kids, exercise is hard, but shoving a spoon down your throat is easy! And don't forget to do it after every meal, just like me!""

- Sailor Moon Abridged, Episode 1

""When I look good, I feel good, too! And the only way I feel good is by vomiting. The only drawback is the stomach acid making my breath smell rank as hell. So I always brush my teeth after every throw up session. Take it from me, kids! A skinny bod means nothing if your breath smells like a dead horse and hot garbage! Sailor Moon says!" (giggle)"

- Sailor Moon Abridged, Episode 32

"Tom Servo: What do you think the lesson of the movie was? Crow: Don't watch it."

- Mystery Science Theater 3000

""And the Real Lesson? Don't leave things in the Fridge.""

- Spike Spiegel, Cowboy Bebop

""The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand'.""

- Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events

""It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside.""

- Action Hank, Dexter's Laboratory

"Yugi: Don't you get it, Tristan? This is Joey's coming-of-age episode, where he proves he's a real man by winning a children's card game all by himself. Tristan: Well, he's got a hot sister, so I guess I can forgive him for assaulting me. Yugi: And that's what friendship is all about!"

- Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series

""We've learned that card games are the answer to all life's problems. And the only thing I know for certain in this world is that there's a strange man living inside my head who tells me to do things.""

- Yugi, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Movie

""Givin' kids charity just makes 'em weak, man. Teach a kid to fish, he can eat fish his whole life. Teach a kid NOT to fish, he starves to death. Where I come from that's murder, Homes.""

- Dusty, Left 4 Dead 2

""This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols.""

- Homestuck, here.

""Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn.""

- Yakko Warner, Animaniacs

"Jake: Let's never be stupid again. Finn: No! Let's ALWAYS be stupid! FOREVER!"

- Adventure Time

""Never forget the teachings of those you shoot in the head after they become zombies.""

- Alt Text of The Adventures of Dr. McNinja

"Vicken: Well I think we learned an important lesson today about online safety. Stef: Yeah, if you want to meet up with a random stranger, make sure your friends're there with loads of weapons to beat him up. Vicken: Ahhh ... right."

- Mighty Moshin' Emo Rangers, Episode 6: "Uncle Cuddles and Fiddles The Kid"

"Chan: You suppose there's a moral in all of this? Hsu: Oh... probably."

- Hsu and Chan, "Evening of Destruction"

""Dear Princess Celestia, I wanted to share my thoughts with you. Ahem.... I didn't learn anything! I was right all along!" *happily trots across the screen*"

- Applejack, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic

"" 'Stay away from good-looking women when you're fighting. Otherwise you'll get hit with diarrhea.' One of the few things I learned from Shadow Moses.""

- Johnny Sasaki on what he learned from the prequel, Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty