Call of Duty/Funny

"Sgt. Sniper: "We'll be safer down in that building. Don't worry about that commissar, I'll take care of him." Player: *goes back towards the building* Commissar: "Die you coward!" Sgt. Sniper: *blatantly shoots the commissar to keep them from killing you*"
 * Original. Soon after the "Not One Step Backward" speech and shooting traitors for trying to leave the boat, and the commissars are shooting anyone who pulls back at all. When you go to get orders from the more experienced officer, after the second MG nest is taken out...

"German Soldier: Kartoffeln?"
 * When I watched that bit closer to notice that he'd shot the commissar, I about rolled. Great spoofing of the speech.
 * Call of Duty 2: Private MacGregor's impromptu driving lesson. "The controls are all in German!"
 * Also, the Red Army grenade training, which is an excessively literal form of Grenade Hot Potato. And don't forget what happens if you decide to bring some with you and throw them at German soldiers.

"Griggs: I thought you were going to leave me behind. Captain Price: Well that was my first thought but your arse had all the C4."
 * "WE COULD BE BURNING GERMANS RIGHT NOW!"
 * Some OpFor quotes in MW2 "Tango Sucka!" "You Mother!" stuff like that. Also, the Spetsnaz when an AC-130 or EMP is up "ENEMY AC-130 ABOVE!!!!"
 * Call of Duty Black Ops: In multiplayer, it's possible to stun an enemy by beaning them in the head with a grenade. *thonk*
 * John F. Kennedy's quote in "Five" if you don't have money to buy a gun. "But I want it!"
 * Woods quote in "Payback" after getting into the Hind "Keep you're eyes on the ground, Mason, I don't want you getting shot in the balls!"
 * Not to mention Agent Hudson's reaction to the Roof Hopping in Numbers: "You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!!"
 * Call of Duty 4's No Fightin In The War Room level is a gem (the name itself being a certain joke from a certain movie which is enough to get many people), with time ticking down till a nuclear missile launch, Gaz opens a door for your team... very slowly, due to how he activated it from a remote location to where you are and it's a missile control room. Price asks: "Gaz, can't you open it any faster?". Gaz replies: "Sorry sir, but you can try pulling on it if it'll make you feel better." Price duly notes this with the reply: "Cheeky bastard." I also find its better if you specifically recall it with their British accents.
 * Or earlier, when Griggs gets captured and you rescue him you get this exchange:

"Ghost: (despite the fact 2 minutes ago "Soap" captured Rojas) He's getting away! "Soap": Oh no he's not!"
 * "Oi, Suzy!" *Whack*
 * World at War: The shades perk actually gives your character shades.
 * USELESS WANKER!!! (Final moments of CoD 4)
 * Mid way through Their Land, Their Blood - Reznov: "Dimitri, get on the tank. You have earned the rest. Chernov, you have not. You walk."
 * "Psst! Hey, Charlie!" [muffled scream as Bowman knifes "Charlie" from behind] "Ha, never gets old."
 * In Modern Warfare 2 levels speed running the level to the end creates funny results of voice scripts getting messed up. This trope happened to catch "Soap" tackling Rojas in "Takedown" and then a minute or two later this happened

""Romeo One-One": "We're going deep, and we're going hard." "Charlie One-One": Surely you can't be serious?" "Romeo One-One": "I'm serious... and don't call me Shirley.""
 * A bit of black humor in Call Of Duty 3 after Baron gets killed in the second-to-last mission, because he's trying to spot for artillery and refuses to heed warnings to take cover. One of the Polish troops asks what happened to Baron, and another responds "Stupidity!"
 * 3 also has a scene where a Polish soldier asks his commander if it'll be just them against the enemy. "The Canadians will be right behind us," the commander says. To which the soldier replies, "So just us, then."
 * Bit of meta-humor in Black Ops during "WMD." One of the CIA agents is knocked off a catwalk by an RPG, and Hudson yells out "We lost Harris!" Hudson's voice actor is Ed Harris.
 * "As I was sayin', there're only two things the Frenchies are any good at: surrenderin', and kissin' .
 * In MW1, Gaz makes a hole through a fence. He then falls on his ass afterward.
 * He shares the animation with a Marine who does the same thing. Just as funny when it happens to Gaz of all people.
 * There's also the bit between the SAS members in the Mile High Club:

"Sgt. Dixon: "Ok guys, listen up. We're on a top secret mission to get coffee and donuts, problem is, the Germans drank all the coffee and ate all the donuts, so now we gotta go kick their asses.""
 * What makes it the more funnier is that "Romeo One-One" is basically Gaz, same voice actor and mannerisms.
 * A small bit of gold from Call of Duty 3:

"Price: "Soap?" Soap: "Price?" Worm: "Who the hell's Soap?""
 * This Troper had a massive Epic Fail during "Little Resistance". At the part where you're supposed to call in a rocket strike on the Japanese tanks... he kept calling in strikes on the American tanks. Yeah...
 * Hey,at least you may not have been able to see which tank was which. In Call of Duty 4, in many, many levels, I found myself shooting at my own gues. A-yup, my own guys even though some levels, my guys were clearly not wearing the German uniforms.
 * From MW 2:


 * From MW3, Makarov running over a hapless Russian soldier in Yuri's flashback.
 * In Black Ops, anytime someone yells at Mason when he's talking to, but only if you've seen or payed level 14.