Cool Motive, Still A Crime

""It was a crime of love!" "Cool motive, still murder.""

- Jake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here you have it. A villain or a hero in a Jerkass moment claims they are like this because of something that happened in their past. A Freudian Excuse can justify their actions and make them sympathetic. Surely that means they have the high moral ground.

"Not so fast!" Another character says. "Just because you had a crappy moment in your life doesn't mean you get to act like a big jerk!"

There is a moment, a Beat. Sometimes the villain or hero will realize this is true. Or they engage in an Ignored Epiphany. Regardless, the emperor has no clothes.

Cool Motive, Still A Crime is when the work acknowledges that someone's tragic past, present trauma or so forth does not justify their actions. They're called out and told they still have to take responsibility for their actions.

This trope still applies if the character in question gives this speech to themselves. It can be a sign of Character Development or a Jerkass Realization. If the trauma happened when the character was a teen or an adult, it still counts.

Compare with Shut UP, Hannibal.

Advertising

 * Many driving PSAs show that you may have many reasons for dangerous behavior -- dealing with a breakup via text, having a bad day at work-- but you as the driver still need to be careful. One ad shows a cop ticketing a teen driver for texting, and we see that if he hadn't, she would have accidentally caused a pileup.
 * A really heartbreaking inversion from a MetLife ad. A girl gives her dad, a single parent, an essay that she wrote in school about why he is her hero, her "Superman". Every other dad at the school has a business suit, a cellphone and a white collar job; her dad goes to work a number of odd jobs, all the while facing rejections from placement agencies and running around town to make his shifts. All the while he lies to her that he is fine, making sure to dress up nicely and comb his hair when dropping her off or picking her up from school, and helping her with homework or playtime. She says in her essay that she notices when her dad goes hungry so she can get a meal, hides that he is tired from doing manual labor, and worries that he's not happy. Yet she also writes that she knows he's working hard to ensure she has a good life and feels that it's her fault; the essay ends with, "Daddy wants me to work hard in school to get a better life. I love Daddy." As he finishes reading, she stands nervously about the fact that she told him he didn't have to hide his pain from her. He sweeps her in a huge hug while crying.

Anime and Manga

 * Fullmetal Alchemist and the Brotherhood anime
 * Edward Elric has this opinion of Scar, the Ishvalan anti-alchemist. Scar didn't make a good first impression on him by chasing him and his brother down trying to kill them, shortly after he killed Nina. Ed is used to people hating him, but the ones trying to kill him usually have a clear reason to hate Ed Elric. Roy is more sympathetic after rescuing the brothers, explaining that Scar was a survivor of genocide and hates the alchemists which inflicted it on the Ishvalans. Ed asserts that Scar is using senseless violence as an excuse to mask his pain. He may have a point, given that Ed and Al were too young to have participated in the Ishvalan genocide. There's also the fact that he killed Winry's parents after they saved his life, albeit in this case it was a Freak-Out and Scar himself says he had no reason to do it, with visible regret. A group of survivor Ishvalans say the same thing to Scar, that he is adding more pain to the world and using their deaths to justifying it.
 * Hoheinheim and Ed both call each other out for this. Ed is furious when his father returns and seems more concerned about his house, the Elric household, being burned down than the fact that his older son has a metal arm and leg respectively. Turns out that Hohenheim went Walking the Earth after his wife Trisha died, leaving Winry's grandmother to raise the boys. Ed calls out his dad for leaving when his sons needed him. Hohenheim in turn asked Ed if it was necessary to burn down the house, and asks if he was trying to run away from committing the taboo..
 * Riza reveals to Ed that.
 * A case of a virtue causing this; Ling has Undying Loyalty and Nice to the Waiter to anyone under his employ; servants and subjects need his protection, not the other way around. It's because he grew up with a Dysfunctional Family having to survive assassination attempts from relatives that don't want him to become the next Emperor; people on his team are the only people that he can trust. He has seen too many royals throw away their subjects like trash, and he doesn't want to be that person. It means, as a result, that Ling underestimates his own worth and has a habit of risking his life for his servants, to the point of Senseless Sacrifice. This was fine when he refused to abandon an injured Lan Fan while Bradley hunted them down, but he nearly ends up dying
 * Inverted in One Piece  regarding Nami's backstory. She hates pirates, and reveals that she only joined Luffy's crew to steal from them. Her sister Nojiko tells the crew why: . Nojiko and Nami herself insist that she doesn't need pity or help, there is no excuse for her actions and she would rather own what she is rather than endanger another person. Sanji and the crew immediately disagree; they say that this is not a situation that Nami can handle alone and strive to help free her. Luffy doesn't hear this tragic backstory; when Nami tearfully begs him for help, he goes to challenge Arlong without hesitation.
 * Pet Shop of Horrors has this both in some stories and the climax:
 * Julia's mother Monica is revealed to be the one.
 * A show rather than tell version. Detective Leon Orcot is struck with survivor's guilt when he sees a former friend become a criminal and die by suicide in front of him. He says to D aloud that he wishes he had been the one to die instead because he must have failed his friend. D uses a butterfly to show Leon that scenario, where he became the criminal and his friend became the cop. It means that his little brother Chris never existed, let alone came to move with him. Leon, however, retains his memories of his previous life and keeps trying to hunt down D for answers, refusing to conform to this destiny. He wakes up after shooting himself in the head during a mirrored confrontation where his friend recognizes him at a standoff; while shaken if relieved to see that his little brother Chris is still in his apartment, he thinks about the fact that there was nothing he could have done to dissuade his friend from making a different choice.
 * It's revealed that D's father hates humanity and is willing to wipe them out, while his grandfather and D himself are more willing to test humanity with magical creatures.

Comic Books

 * In The Batman Adventures comic "Mad Love", this comes up about the Joker and Harley Quinn.
 * We learn that Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a psychiatrist intern at Arkham, fell for the Joker after he told her a sad story about trying to make his abusive father smile. She was prepared for his manipulations, but not for her to feel bad for him. Joker also said that he felt he could trust the doctor with his secrets, convincing her that his intentions were solely to make Gotham laugh. In the present day, when Harley prepares to kill Batman to settle down with her "Puddin'", Batman bursts out laughing while tied up, which causes her to freak out before he becomes solemn again. He then tells her bluntly that Joker doesn't love her, and was using her from the day she entered Arkham. Harley insists that Joker trusted her with secrets; Batman asks if it was the runaway mom story or abusive father. Joker apparently told a parole officer that his dad was happiest at the "ice show"; Harley quietly whispers that Joker told that story, only with the circus. Batman tells Harley that Joker is full of backstories and lies, but not all of them could be true; and even if they were, that doesn't excuse his murder schemes. Joker then proves Batman is right by showing up when Harley calls him, beating her up and pushing her out a window for attempting to kill Batman without him. This almost snaps Harley out of it.
 * Batman also tells Harley this about her choices in life. He has frequently asked her why she tossed her medical career on the worst criminal in Gotham, when she could have done so much more with her genius. Dr. Joan Leland says the same thing at the end of the comic, asking an injured Harley how it felt to have a man she loved nearly beat her to death.
 * Maus has Art confront this about his parents. Anja is deceased, so he was able to find catharsis about her death in a one-shot comic. That comic acknowledged that he regrets his mother's passing and that he was unable to understand her, but she was still unable to hide her demons from him, and he resented the toxic codependence. Vladek Spiegelman is also a piece of work; he's a hoarder, a cheapskate and a racist, as seen with the black hitchhiker. Art asks his stepmother Mala if it's the camps that made him that way. She scoffs and reminds Art that she was also a camp survivor, and you don't see her picking up telephone wire off the street or complaining loudly about money. What's more, Mala has talked to many fellow survivors, and none of them are like Vladek.
 * The Wake arc in The Sandman has . He says that he understands that . Not to mention that . He hints, however, that.

Fan Works

 * In Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce, a real-person fic where Gordon Ramsay becomes the new Potions professor at Hogwarts during book six, Professor Ramsay believes this. He finds out from Harry and Neville how much of a bully Severus Snape is, and calmly asks Neville what his Potions experience was like. He blows up when Neville reveals that Snape nearly made him poison his toad with a botched Shrinking Solution in third year, running to confront Snape in the Great Hall. Ramsay shouts at Snape that you do not let the memory of a Gryffindor stringing you up by your ankles serve as an excuse to traumatize the next generation. Snape attacks him with spells in response; McGonagall has to separate them. Suffice to say, it works; Snape leaves Harry and Neville alone during the NEWT-level Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons.

Film

 * Moana explains that the reason why Maui is so crusty to the title character, complete with trapping her on a cave while stealing her boat, is because he feels that humanity does not appreciate all the good he did for them, and he's been stranded on the island for decades. The reason why he started doing these good deeds is his parents tossed him into the ocean as a baby, something that Tamatoa reveals while thrashing both Maui and Moana during "Shiny", and Maui wanted external validation. Stealing Te Fiti's heart was one of those deeds, supposedly to help the humans. When he actually faces, however, Maui gives a sincere apology on realizing how much . He fully admits that his desire for validation from humans was selfish and not meant to help them at all..
 * ParaNorman:
 * Norman calls out the zombies for this when he learns exactly why the witch raised them, and he realizes that he can talk to them. All the judge zombie can say is, "We were scared." Even he knows that's not a valid excuse, as Norman angrily tosses the fairy tale book his uncle left him to calm down the witch. He asks why are they asking him to fix their mess. The zombies make it clear that they don't expect forgiveness; they want to help the witch rest as a form of atonement, realizing what they did to her was wrong. Being conscious in your grave for four hundred years, released to a world that keeps trying to maim you, and people running away from fright will do that. Realizing they have to work together, Norman calls truce but says for the rest of the movie that they were horrible people.
 * When his attempts to calm down the witch via reading a fairy tale book doesn't work, and Norman finds out why she raised the dead and has started rampaging in the town, he realizes they need another solution. . He asks his parents to drive him to the woods where the witch is, and goes to talk to . At first, isn't interested in listening, pointing out dryly that  Then Norman says he has a different story from the one in the fairy tale book; he says "Once upon a time, there was a little girl," who was an outsider and had to hide from everyone. . The witch goes berserk and threatens to make him suffer; when he asks, "Why?", she doesn't have an answer. Yeah, because the witch only wanted to . Norman asserts that . It starts working; while the witch tosses him around the green hellscape she created, she also straightens a fallen tree from where he's dangling, so he can pull himself to safety. Norman reaches for her hand, saying You Are Not Alone asking her to remember who she was..
 * Catch Me If You Can, a biopic dramatizing Frank Abegnale's con artist career, has a judge spell this out when he is extradited to the United States for trial. The judge turns down his request to be tried as a minor, citing that he may have come from a broken home but showed blatant disrespect for the law while scamming airlines, a hospital and a law firm.
 * Marvel Cinematic Universe
 * You can make a drinking game for every time Heel Face Revolving Door characters Loki and Wanda Maximoff face this from protagonists and antagonists alike. Case in point:
 * The Thor series makes it clear that it was very uncool of Odin to hide Loki's true parentage from him. He's forced to reveal to Loki, after the latter's skin turns blue from touching the Cube, that he basically kidnapped him from Jotunheim and raised him as his son. His intention was that Loki could be a peacemaker between the two enemy races, but both Thor and Loki were raised to see the Jotuns as monsters, something that Loki brings up tearfully. Nevertheless, when Thor finds out, he makes it clear that he doesn't care if Loki is not related to him; they are brothers, and thus Loki has no excuse for his trauma-induced actions. The first movie has Thor call out Loki for sending a Destroyer on Earth to finish him and endanger innocents in the process, and Odin while saving Loki while falling off the Bifrost says he knows that Loki didn't enact this scheme of wiping out the Jotuns to please his adopted father. In the second movie, Odin puts Loki on trial for attempting to invade Earth while allied with Thanos and killing innocents; he says the only reason Loki is not facing the usual sentence of execution is Frigga interceded on his behalf. Thor Ragnarok has Thor point out, after tazing Loki for a betrayal attempt, that Loki chooses to be a chronic backstabber rather than the hero he was meant to be. Loki takes this to heart by helping Thor fight Hela, and later in Avengers: Infinity War . The Loki series has an alternate Loki watch.
 * Meanwhile, Wanda's backstory is tragic. She and her brother Pietro lost their parents in a bombing, and Stark missiles destroyed their apartment. When Hydra recruited them, Wanda takes the opportunity to Mind Rape Tony after he storms their compound, determined to make him suffer as much as she did. Her selfishness leads to Tony creating Ultron, and Ultron going rogue. Pietro was the more reasonable of the siblings, suggesting they just kill him while he's incapacitated and they get their revenge. She does the same to the rest of the team, which leads to Hulk rampaging in Johannesburg while mind-raped. Tony feels guilty on learning why Wanda hates him, but Bruce is not sympathetic when he revives and she tries to stop him from putting Jarvis into the Ultron body they stole from Ultron; he says he doesn't need to turn green to snap her neck and nearly acts on that threat by putting her in a chokehold. Wanda herself gets a horrible Heel Realization on learning that Ultron is going to wipe out everyone in Sokovia in his quest to make the world perfect, meaning she enabled him to cause much worse collateral damage than Tony ever did directly or indirectly. Clint has a more evenhanded approach when she freezes up during the final battle on sensing Pietro's death; he tells Wanda she has a choice to make, to either stay out of the fight to avoid being a liability or step in to make up for her past harm. In  Civil War, General Ross says that he knows Wanda didn't mean to cause a fire in Lagos but still injured innocents and that is why the Avengers need accountability. Following the battle with Thanos, . Later on, Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness had Strange himself.
 * In Guardians of the Galaxy, Drax the Destroyer essentially drunk-dials Ronan the Accuser in hopes of avenging his wife and daughter, who Ronan murdered in the past. Instead of getting revenge, Drax's recklessness leads to Knowhere (the Guardians' pit stop) being nearly obliterated by the fleet Ronan sends after them. When Drax explains himself to Rocket Raccoon, the latter isn't impressed and takes him to task over selfishly getting people caught in the crossfire in his quest for vengeance against the hated terrorist. His shaming definitely gets to Drax, and is the thing that kicks his Character Development into gear.
 * While Velociraptors in previous Jurassic Park movies were either hungry territorial animals or glorified serial killers in dinosaur bodies, the ones in the third movie are in full-on Mama Bear/Papa Wolf mode, and menace Alan Grant's team out of a desire to protect their eggs... which his assistant Billy stupidly stole despite his clear warning against tampering with raptor nests. While Billy did it so he could secure funding for Alan's research expeditions, Alan makes it absolutely clear that good intentions or no, Billy's willingness to compromise their rescue mission and endanger the lives of everyone involved has caused him to lose all respect for his protégé.

Literature

 * A Christmas Carol goes into this more sympathetically: Jacob Marley sends three ghosts of Christmas to save his former partner and protegee Ebeneezer Scrooge from eternal damnation. The Ghost of Christmas Past reveals that the reason why Scrooge is so cold-hearted is not just that he lost his love Belle; he had a neglectful father that shunted him off to boarding school, and his sister Fanny died having Fred, which is why Ebeneezer treats Fred so coldly. Ebeneezer acknowledges with hindsight that he has become his father; the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows that unless he changes, Scrooge will die alone, and London will be happier for it. By this point, however, Ebeneezer is not just worried about his own soul; he frets that . The first thing he does on waking up during Christmas morning is to.
 * Happens in Harry Potter from time to time.
 *  Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
 * Dumbledore and Harry discuss this about
 * Harry eventually comes to this conclusion about after the latter's actions in this book. He did feel bad for him after learning  Then he finds out that  Dumbledore says that . Harry can sense that Dumbledore's lying, but the point still stands when . Sure, Harry eventually forgives the man in Deathly Hallows, but the rest of the Wizarding World debates if he was just selfish or misguided.
 * Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Lily Evans before she was Lily Potter called out . Notably, while goes Never My Fault about how, he refuses to use or tolerate the term "Mudblood" ever again, as shown when he admonishes , and he never forgives himself for.
 * Percy Jackson & the Olympians also has this in the last book regarding.
 * The sequel series Heroes of Olympus has a few:
 * Aphrodite camp counselor Drew Tanaka feels this way about.
 * Pluto truly loved Marie Levesque and their daughter Hazel. Marie summoned him because in Roman mythos, Pluto is the god of wealth and death, and she wanted jewels that would help her break the cycle of poverty. Pluto tried to warn her, however, that his gifts come at a price, and such a living situation isn't healthy for Hazel. She didn't listen, selling the jewels that Hazel could summon and pretending things were fine when they started cursing the buyers. Hazel found out belatedly that.
 * In The Princess Diaries, some characters suffer this.
 * Subverted when Mia is outed as a princess, days after she got into detention for ruining Lana's sweater with an ice-cream cone after the latter insults her new friend Tina. Principal Gupta had actually asked her if things were okay at home and was she stressed, before giving her detention for refusing to apologize for Lana. When Grandmere reveals to the press that her granddaughter is a princess, the principal is actually amused when asking Mia later if this was the stress she was dealing with over the past week. She cancels future detentions, determining that the press barrage is punishment enough.
 * This is how characters treat Lilly when she crosses the line, which is a lot. She's very aware that she has No Social Skills, exacerbated by her genius, and that she was a terrible girlfriend to Boris by Michael knows that Lilly is oblivious to how cruel she can be, but will still call her out on her bullshit. During Party Princess, Mia feels bad for Lilly, who grabs the Jerkass Ball more so than usual, on learning that . Tina  of all people still notes that Lilly is sabotaging Mia's  Principal Gupta also finds out towards the end of the book about why Lilly is acting this way... Forever Princess has Lilly finally admit why.
 * because she was the first person nice to him in the three years he was attending their snooty prep school by inviting him to sit with her friend group at lunch. Mia notes dryly, however, that

Live-Action TV

 * Angel occasionally discusses this, for either characters or their antagonists:
 * Angel himself fears his Super-Powered Evil Side Angelus, who is essentially a soulless monster with a brain. His low point in season 2 is when his sire Darla revived as a human but Wolfram & Hart used Drusilla to make Darla a vampire again, against her will; Angel, to bring Angelus back, let the two rampage on the Wolfram & Hart employees, locking the doors, and then fired his friends when they told him it was not the right or mature action. On top of that, Cordelia is enraged on learning he gave away her clothes, a wardrobe she struggled to maintain as an unemployed actress. Angel tries to use Darla to lose his soul, only to learn that sex won't do it anymore. He has a Heel Realization when learning that Cordelia kept monster hunting to deal with the visions she received, being kidnapped by eye monsters, and she calls him out while barely conscious for firing them. It takes a few episodes for the team to forgive him; they say that they know he suffered, but that was not an excuse for trying to dive into evil and treat them like garbage. As punishment he has to work at a kiddie desk while being the lowest-paid Angel Investigations employee, which he admits fair enough, but he feels guiltiest about nearly letting Cordelia get killed. Cordelia forgives him after he buys new stylish clothes for her wardrobe, making up for his earlier "charity"; Wesley takes longer, glaring at Angel for buying back Cordelia's goodwill.
 * Happens in the season 4 finale. After
 * Buffy the Vampire Slayer had one of Buffy's childhood crushes Billy Fordham come to Sunnydale. He's entranced by how Buffy fights vampires and finds reasons to hang with her, while Angel investigates because instinct and jealousy tell him the guy is bad news..
 * Brooklyn Nine-Nine has a few opinions on the tragic excuse for characters being a jerk:
 * During the first Thanksgiving episode, Jake does all he can to extend a case on the night of Amy's Thanksgiving dinner so he doesn't have to spend time celebrating the holiday. He tells Holt that because his mom had to work two jobs as a waitress and a teacher, he was left to spend the day alone watching TV. Holt chides him because this event is important to Amy and he's dwelling on a past that no longer controls him. Jake has a change of heart, comes to Amy's celebration after Boyle saves it, and makes a sincere toast to the Nine Nine, his new family.
 * Jake tracks down a perp that committed murder. The man says, "It was a crime of love." Jake responds, "Cool motive, still murder." This has since become a meme in the fandom.
 * A softer example; after Jake gets badly injured chasing a perp, he defies Terry's orders to take a sick day and tries to track down the guy in Atlantic City. This leads to him needing hospitalization, and Terry demands answers. Jake admits that the last time he took vacation, . Terry takes a deep breath. He tells Jake that.
 * Turns out that Jake's dad was a lousy excuse for a father because his father was also the same, and Peralta garbage gets passed down to the next generation. The senior Peralta, however, admits when talking to Jake at a family reunion that it is no excuse for how he treated his son or daughter, Jake's half-sister. He hopes that Jake can break the Peralta garbage cycle.
 * The Good Place: Season one has Eleanor confront this about herself. She's antisocial, rude and selfish because her parents treated her as an afterthought or a weapon when arguing with each other. Eleanor got herself emancipated on her birthday and celebrated in her new apartment, alone. Jason is horrified when Eleanor relates this to him. She tells him that she justified all her horrible actions on Earth because of how her parents treated her. But now they can't when the Judge is holding Chidi and Tahani hostage unless Jason and Eleanor turn themselves into him. Sure, Chidi and Tahani aren't perfect, but they stepped up to the plate when Jason and Eleanor needed them.
 * In The Sandman, Dream notes this about Alex Burgess. He sees when the Magus's son is still an innocent child, who grows into an empathetic teenager, and Alex is even tempted to free Dream when showing pity towards him as a teenager. Alex's father Rodrick is abusive to him, outright saying that his dead child Randall is the only heir that he recognizes and Alex is a poor replacement. However, Alex also kills Jessamy the Raven on his father's orders, and refuses to free Dream out of fear that he will be punished for his father's crimes. He ends up being right, but safe to say that the sentence would have been lighter if Dream had been freed as soon as Alex had the authority.
 * Scrubs
 * Dr. Cox got this from his therapist, who then fired him as a patient. The therapist says that Dr. Cox had a hard life with an abusive father, but Cox himself refuses to put in the work or change. If Dr. Cox listened to one person, then it would show he was actually putting in the work to undo the emotional damage that makes him an ass. Dr. Cox gets a Jerkass Realization when he yells at J.D. after taking his advice to do an honest physical on Dr. Kelso, and J.D. says that he's asking Doug to replace him on rounds.
 * One new intern named Katie steals credit from Elliott and tries to manipulate her way to being seen as the best newbie. Carla sits her down for coffee and tells her off, saying the nurses see everything. Katie attempts to cry that she has emotionally abusive parents, and an alcoholic father to boot. Carla says, "Oh you poor thing," followed by "Heard it!" She says nearly everyone at the hospital has a tragic backstory, including herself and Dr. Cox. Unless Katie shapes up, the doctors and nurses will eat her alive.

Music

 * Discussed in Amanda Palmer's song "| Runs in the Family" from her album Who Killed Amanda Palmer. She sings with a Motor Mouth about if you can blame your genetic mental illnesses on your family, especially if they don't talk about the Generational Trauma that came with the anxieties or phobias. Doctors make these scary diagnoses, many that are incurable, and it's luck of the draw if you inherit the genes that make you sick. Amanda asks if she has permission to blame her genetics for this bad luck. There is no answer, and the music video ends with her crying about how hard it is to function with inherited traumas or genetics.

New Media

 * The "Am I The Asshole" AITA Reddit operates on this for some of the entries.
 * In the saga of Jorts the Cat -- for context, in a government office where a subordinate named Pam was trying to train office cat Jorts and said that the manager, Pam's boss, was ethnically discriminating about Jorts by saying that you can't expect him to be as smart as his furry tortoiseshell coworker Jean -- the update reveals that Pam may have been feeling insecure as a recent transition from volunteer to paid employee, projecting her insecurities on Jorts. The manager maintains, however, that "training" Jorts is a futile effort and only would stress the cat further, so Pam didn't have Jorts's best interests at heart. Plus, Pam confessed that she was buttering Jorts in margarine in an attempt to encourage him to groom himself better. (As one commenter put it, "I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts.")
 * Not Always Right has a few of these moments:
 * "| It's Way Too Early For This" had a kid call out his parents for this. Both parents are heavy snorers. One day, while blocking access to the coffee machine and the fridge, they each accused the other of waking them up with loud snores. The OP, their teenage child, was having none of it; they shouted, "“YOU WERE BOTH SNORING SO LOUDLY LAST NIGHT THAT IT WOKE ME UP AT 2:00 AM! YOU WOKE ME UP, AND THEN YOU WOKE YOURSELVES UP WITH IT!” that ended the fight, and they were able to get breakfast.

Newspaper Comics

 * In Calvin and Hobbes, this trope is played for laughs. Calvin likes finding any excuse to avoid responsibility for his actions and justify being an asshole. In one case, he told his dad that he felt he wasn't being supported enough and should be given more; his dad sends him outside to shovel snow and build "character". In another, Calvin quotes psychobabble that he is part of a dysfunctional family with parents who never empower him, meaning nothing he ever does is his fault. Hobbes snarks, "One of us needs to dunk our heads in ice water."
 * For Better or For Worse has this with Kortney, a shop employee. She has Elly wrapped around her thumb by crying about how she needs this job, and apologizing when she has a major screwup like letting model trains be stolen right under her nose. As a result, Elly gives her more leeway than she gives to April, her own daughter, who helps out in the shop part-time when not doing schoolwork. When April catches Kortney on sexy chatrooms during work hours, Kortney threatens to knock her teeth out if she tells her mother; April tells Grandpa Jim, who insists that Elly needs to do something because threats are not acceptable. Even John agrees with this, asserting to Elly that she can't employe someone that physically threatened their daughter. Kortney gets a second chance by apologizing to Elly but not to April, and saying that she doesn't have any role models in her life. Elly buys this, but her assistant Moira doesn't. She warns Kortney that any further funny behavior, and she's out of time. . Elly starts sobbing Tears of Remorse as Moira and April gently say I Told You So, that Kortney used excuses to get away with bad behavior. To prove their point,.

Puppet Shows

 * The Muppet Christmas Carol keeps this for Scrooge, in line with the source material. Scrooge is a bitter moneylender that hates Christmas, and people in general. Then the ghosts of Jacob and Robert Marley come to him, starting to heckle him for saying they seem to have "more of grave than gravy" about them; he says that they always criticized him and never treated him well. They agree, but point out they never treated anyone well; regardless, unless Scrooge changes his ways, the same afterlife chains that torture them will do the same to him after he dies. The Ghost of Christmas Past is kind but firm with Scrooge as she takes him through various Christmas memories, including the one where his love Belle ended their engagement. Belle calls out Scrooge because he keeps putting off their wedding to make more money; because he waited too long, the spark has gone out of their relationship and she leaves him. She understands he wants to provide for her as a husband supports a wife, but he has forgotten the reason in his ambition. To prove her point, the younger Scrooge lets her go, while the older Scrooge joins her in song and bursts out crying.

Theatre

 * Comes up in Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier, a role-reversal parody musical of Aladdin where Aladdin is the villain and Jafar is the hero. After Aladdin "rescues" the Princess from the marketplace, he tries to seduce her by singing that he lost his parents at 30 and it was so hard. The guards storm in before it gets further than a song and check that the Princess aren't hurt, while arresting Aladdin for killing a retinue of guards with his "One Jump Ahead" antics the previous day. When the Princess protests that Aladdin needs mercy because he lost his parents, the Captain bluntly says that is not an excuse. He points out that one guard lost his brother thanks to Aladdin indirectly killing him, and they both have parents mourning the son they lost.

Video Games

 * In Omori, Kel confronts Aubrey about this on the Main Route. She's become a giant jerk in the real world and a bully. Aubrey says she has every right to go after Basil after what he did, and that . Kel calls bullshit; he points out that she's not the only one who
 * This is the entire Investigation Team's response to excuse for why he committed his crimes in Persona 4. To the credit of the latter, he does wind up accepting he was full of crap in the followup spinoff titles.

Web Comics
"Buckaress: I know at least one supervillain who uses that as an excuse too. It's not a great one."
 * The PvP (webcomic) has a few instances:
 * When their college roommate Max Powers reenters their lives, and their rental building, Cole and Brent start an Escalating War of pranks out of pettiness. Jade tries to stop it because it's not professional and could get the pair in serious trouble. After Cole gets himself stung with bees during a prank gone wrong and needs to see a doctor for anaphylactic shock, he finally admits to Jade that he's jealous that Max is young, handsome, and more successful with the dream job of running a gaming magazine than he is. Cole knows that his employees don't respect him, and the PVP magazine is a financial drain. Jade has to point out that it's not an excuse for being such an ass to Max, who has been perfectly nice to the whole crew..
 * Also happens between an argument Brent and Jade have after Skull accidentally totals Brent's car and the latter has to drive with his girlfriend. Brent's micromanaging makes him a backseat driver, complete with him trying to take the wheel while in the passenger seat. Jade is fed up and smacks him. They arrive to work sullen, with Brent being shaken. Brent has a legitimate point when talking with a therapist and Cole about it, the fact that Jade thought it was okay to hit him and people at the office mocked him for being upset: if it had been the other way around, he'd look like a domestic abuser. Jade in the meantime does apologize but also points out that Brent could have gotten them in another bad accident.
 * Downplayed in this League Of Super Redundant Heroes.

Western Animation

 * Avatar: The Last Airbender has this from time to time.
 * Heroes and Fire Nation individuals frequently acknowledges that Zuko is a tragic Anti-Villain. Anyone whose father burned their face and exiled them for refusing to face them in an Agni Kai would have issues. Zuko becomes very conflicted when.
 * Quite ironically, Azula says that she resents that her mother thought she was a monster. "She was right, but it still hurts!" Azula responds cheerfully. Azula pretends that by being aware of her issues, it means that she has complete control over her actions..
 * Later when Zuko attempts to
 * Batman: The Animated Series
 * In "Trial," DA Janet van Dorn comes to this conclusion when the Arkham inmates kidnap her and Batman, putting the Bat on trial and "volunteering" her as the defense lawyer. Despite the fact that she doesn't want Batman in Gotham City, Batman tells her put personal feelings aside and play their game, stall for time. She cross-examines the Mad Hatter about the fact that Batman didn't get involved in his case until he brainwashed his coworker Alice, kidnapping her and several people. Jarvis keeps saying that Batman was going to take Alice from him, and he had to stop the Bat. Janet asks why didn't he respect Alice's wishes since she rejected him. Jarvis blurts out that he would have killed her, only to realize what he said. He meekly asks the Joker to strike that from the record, much to Joker's confusion as there is no record. Rinse and repeat with both Harley Quinn, who attacks the Judge on finding out Joker ratted her out last time she escaped without him, and Poison Ivy who attacks Janet for plucking a flower in front of her. Janet concludes that while Batman "helped" with their outfit choices, they would have become villains without him.
 * The animated adaptation of "Mad Love" has this for the Joker. Much as in the comic, he tells Harley a sob story about his abusive father only being happy at the circus. Harley buys it hook, line and sinker because the Joker said that she was the only one in Arkham that he could trust with his secrets. Batman tells Harley later that Joker has a "million" of these stories and she was just another pawn for him. Harley briefly comes to this conclusion after Joker pushes her out of a window and leaves her to bleed out before trying to kill Batman, swearing to herself that she will never let the Joker fool her again. That is, until she sees a flower and Get-Well card from him in her Arkham cell, restarting the cycle.
 * BoJack Horseman has a running motif for most of the characters that try to lean on their tragic backstories:
 * BoJack himself has a few moments. He hopes that by opening up to Diane about his traumatic childhood, after she encourages him to give a real story for his ghostwritten biography, that it means they have become closer. Instead, it makes Diane realize he is a big jerk, and she puts that in her book One Trick Pony. Later, Todd after suffering two seasons of abuse from BoJack hits his Rage Breaking Point in "It's You" after learning that.
 * Goes both ways with Todd and his family. Todd at first resents his mother and stepfather for kicking him out; the reason they did is a videogame sucked him in to the point where he dropped out of high school and shut out everything in the real world. Kicking him out was a last resort as they both tried to reason with him to unplug. In season six, Todd admits that his mother may have had a point in forcing him to grow up with some Tough Love while talking with his stepfather, but also points out they didn't talk to him for ten years. His stepfather apologizes for that, after Todd saves his mother's life by tracking down the kidney he sold. They all reconcile by the series finale, with Todd admitting that they all made mistakes but are growing past them.
 * BoJack at . As he discusses while, that his mother suffered does not excuse.
 * Part of the reason that Diane has intense self-loathing and righteousness about how the world should be is that her family treated her as The Unfavorite, with her brothers keeping a video of a cruel prank they pulled on her at prom. It means, however, that she can make selfish decisions with these quests. BoJack called her out for leaking chapters of One Trick Pony and never considering how it would make him feel when she's being harassed for trying to expose a celebrity named Hank Hippopopalous for abusing his secretaries and wants BoJack to support her. Mr. Peanutbutter, who is no saint, tells Diane that it may make her feel like she's doing the right thing by flying to Cordovia to cover the war there, but she could die and it's not worth risking her life for a moral crusade. Her GirlCroosh boss Stefani bluntly says that Diane's desire for perfection makes everyone miserable, including Diane..
 * When goes off-script during her second interview with.
 * Gargoyles: This is essentially Demona's deal, something that both Goliath and the Weird Sisters note. She reveals that she was part of the plan to betray the castle in the pilot, believing that the invaders would treat the gargoyles better. When the invaders smashed most of them instead, making her think they killed Goliath, she went Never My Fault and went off to find another clan. She scarred a boy while stealing food, who would become one of her nemeses the Hunter. Her betrayal of Macbeth led to them both becoming immortal, and she refuses to acknowledge that Macbeth wouldn't be hunting her down to finally die if she hadn't sold him out. In the modern day, she blames Elisa Maza for coming between her and Goliath, not the fact that she revealed to Goliath that she betrayed their brethren and sold them out to David Xanatos after they revived. The Weird Sisters point out that she betrayed everyone who trusted her, including the gargoyle who nearly went on a rampage all those years ago fearing she was shattered. Puck of all people has to point out that since she imprisoned him, he could give her what her heart desires: Goliath, and the love they once shared. Demona shoots herself in the foot by asking Puck to get rid of Eliza instead, and Puck twists her request since she forgot he was a trickster.
 * Infinity Train has heroes and villains which discuss this trope. Facing it allows their numbers to go down.
 * Tulip is a jerk, who resents her parents for divorcing. She blames them for ruining her life. Then a tape in the Cat's Car gives her the courage to see what really happened, without her Nostalgia Filter or catastrophizing; her parents were actually fighting all the time, she just blocked it out and ignored the red flags. During the actual scene where they break the news, they also were as broken up over the separation as she was, and it wasn't their intent to ruin her life. Tulip leaves the tape with a Jerkass Realization that she needs to go easier on her parents when she gets home.
 * When Tulip sees
 * Season 3 brings us Grace, the leader of the cultist children the Apex. Simon.
 * We also have Grace's Number Two, Simon. They met as children on the train.
 * The Legend of Korra would continue this trend with some of the heroes and villains:
 * When we learn Amon's real backstory, that, Korra says she has never heard such a sad story. Mako and she resolve nevertheless to use this information to stop Amon and save Republic City, because he's trying to wipe out all the benders.
 * Asami calls out her father Hiroshi Sato for falling victim to this. They lost his wife, Asami's mother, to a Firebending gang. As a result, . When they fight in the climax in season one, . It takes a few years, and a stint in, but Hiroshi belatedly realizes the grave error that he made..
 * Lin and Suyin are on opposite sides of the spectrum, but they agree on one thing: that their mother hated her rigid life as a Beifong was no excuse for how she treated them. They wanted a mom; instead, they got an absent parental figure that let them do what they wanted. Suyin tells Korra that she rebelled out of a need for Toph to actually step up and be a mom, to get her approval or any sign of attention. (Lin herself says that this was no excuse for Suyin's delinquent behavior and holds a grudge against her for the scar on her cheek.) While Suyin and Toph talked this out offscreen and reconciled, Lin is much brusquer when confronting her mother in season 4; Toph reverts to her irreverent behavior, and Lin tells her that bullshit is why they never talked for several decades. Toph herself is forced to acknowledge she was not a good parent, though she is proud of both her girls.
 * Sweet Opal in a flashback said this about according to the graphic novel Ruins of the Empire. When they were kids,
 * Phineas and Ferb had this Played for Laughs with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who had many tragic details in his backstory:
 * Parodied in one instance. In Across The 2nd Dimension, Dr. D meets his successful counterpart who has taken over the tri-state area. This Alternate Dr. D reveals that he became evil because he lost his toy train as a child. After a Beat, Prime Dr. D goes, "That's it?!" He rants about how he suffered so much more, and none of that helped him take over the tri-state area. He also ends up saving.
 * Perry the Platypus delivers a silent version in "This Is Your Backstory". Dr. D's latest inator causes him to become a monster with every piece of trauma he remembers. He prepares to rip apart Perry. Perry grabs his wallet and shows that he's kept pictures of himself and Dr. D, showing that he cares about the scientist and that he has plenty of good memories to go with the bad. This depowers Dr. Doofenshmirtz, allowing Perry to defeat him. Vanessa also visits, telling her dad You Are Not Alone.
 * This comes up a lot more seriously in Rick and Morty with all of the Smiths and Rick himself:
 * "Pickle Rick" has the family attending school-mandated therapy with a psychiatrist interested in their screwed-up dynamics; Rick turns himself into a pickle to avoid therapy, which leads to his Humiliation Conga throughout the episode. Beth at first tries to blame Morty and Summer for their dysfunctions that led to their teacher's concern because she resents having to be at therapy in the first place. Dr Wong is not phased; she pinpoints that Beth's underlying issues from her relationship with Rick may be passing on the stress to the kids so they act out in unhealthy ways following her . Beth responds, "Fuck you, lady," much to her kids' shock. Their session ends with the family being emotionally honest with each other for the first time in ages, and season 4 confirms Beth continued to see Dr. Wong after ending the episode insulting her in the car while talking to Rick.
 * Rick is never impressed when Beth tries to blame her daddy issues on him abandoning her as a kid. "The ABCs of Beth" actually goes into this when he calls her out for.
 * "Mort Dinner Rick Andre"
 * Nimbus, Rick's archnemesis that we never heard of prior to this episode, calls out Rick for this. He says that Diane, Rick's wife, wouldn't have liked the man that Rick became: a bitter cynic that pretends to care about nothing. Rick has no retort to this apart from saying that Nimbus shouldn't establish canonical backstory. Morty also asks why Rick has to pick a fight with everyone, why he can't just get along and be a normal human being for once.
 * The B plot has Morty also call out the Hoovians for this; he accidentally started a generational saga of Hoovians wanting him dead while getting wine to drink with Jessica from their Narnia-like dimension. For context, decades in their world pass in minutes on Morty's world, thus their society evolves every time Morty nips down to the basement portal to get another wine bottle and either gets attacked or retaliates with Rick's armory. When their latest attempt to assassinate him gets Jessica kidnapped, his rescue leads with the robots that defeated the Hoovians capturing him. Morty revives in their lab and says, "I just took some wine! I already apologized! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Jessica was definitely an innocent party in this fiasco.
 * The season five finale reveals that.
 * The season six premiere has call out Morty for this, abandoning his family. He as well as
 * Static Shock
 * Discussed seriously in the episode "Jimmy" regarding the title character and his bullies. Richie got shot at the community center, and Virgil is seeing a school counselor for the trauma. The story comes out, with Virgil abridging to keep his hero identity a secret: he and Richie noticed that Nick, the Jerk Jock of the school, was picking on an introverted kid named Jimmy. While Virgil tried to reach out to him, he freaked out when Jimmy revealed he had access to his father's gun -- Virgil's mother was killed by gunfire during riots while she was saving lives on the streets-- and left Jimmy's house immediately. When Nick's bullying goes too far, Jimmy misses school for a week. Virgil and his dad go to check on Jimmy; they learn that he's not home, and Virgil finds a revenge journal on Jimmy's computer. They also realize the gun is missing from his dad's drawer. Mr. Hawkins tells Virgil to stay put and they'll go find Jimmy before he can hurt Nick; Virgil waits until they're gone before changing into his Static uniform. . In the present, Virgil admits that he's angry at everyone involved, including himself; he knows Jimmy never meant to hurt He's mad at himself for not telling his father or a trusted adult about the gun as soon as he knew, and he's mad at Nick for causing the situation in the first place with his assholery. The counselor has an evenhanded response; she says that having anger is natural, especially after such a traumatic incident, but what matters is what you do with that emotion. Jimmy chose to use his anger to hurt others, but Virgil doesn't have to do the same thing. He finds a more productive use for his anger:  and reach out to help other kids who are bullied. Turns out the law was pretty reasonable and this trope is shown rather than told: . While it seems that Nick really is sorry, as shown when he and his father come out of the principal's office, he still has to face punishment. Everyone also witnessed his cowardice when Jimmy confronted him, so his popularity has gone down the drain. The PSA at the end has Static reveal the statistics for gun violence and orders the audience that no matter which kid has a gun, whether or not they are a close friend or even a family member, tell an adult who can better handle the situation.
 * Tuca & Bertie:
 * This is what leads to the season one fight between the title characters. Tuca has a phobia of hospitals because her mother died in one after suffering a car accident. She also overhears Bertie calling her "clingy" which Tuca is, and stubbornly refuses to see a doctor about a sudden pain. Her virtual sex client has to drive seven hours to save her when she collapses on a call, and he notifies Speckle about the situation when Speckle mistakes the call for a videogame and starts "playing". While Bertie is relieved that Tuca pulls through a terrifying surgery, she's annoyed that Tuca didn't come to her for help earlier because she was doing a pastry event that could boost her career and had to leave to check on her dying best friend. When a recovered Tuca notices that she's upset, Bertie says all of this, that she would have been fine with taking Tuca to a doctor before the problem became serious, rather than Tuca endangering herself the one time Bertie wasn't available to bail her out of her immaturity. Tuca goes Never My Fault, and they have a huge argument.
 * Comes up during the series finale arc, when Bertie . Season two shows that they finally talked about it, which was all Speckle wanted;.
 * Steven Universe has this trope crop up from time to time:
 * Part of the reason why Pearl is occasionally insecure, jealous and catty is that she's mourning Rose, the leader of the Crystal Gems and her lover, and sees a lot of her in Steven. Rose died to have Steven, a morally questionable decision but her choice to make. Garnet calls out Pearl for getting jealous when they learn that Steven's lion belonged to Rose and contained her scabbard; she says Rose kept secrets from all of them them, and Pearl is no different. Steven is furious when Pearl during Connie's fencing lessons is turning his squishy human friend into a martyr and talks her down.
 * Steven and Amethyst in season two find out that . They bust her before it happens again, but try to break it gently to Garnet. "Gently doesn't work"; Garnet becomes infuriated, but Amethyst says that it's because Garnet's love makes her and Pearl feel strong. Immediately, Garnet orders Amethyst, "Don't defend her!" before fusing with her to destroy the tower once and for all.
 * Peridot has a hard time adapting to Earth life when . She's still rude, bitter and condescending towards the "clods," with her warming up to Steven after he gives her prosthetic foot back. The season two finale has her explain to Steven that she stole a Diamond communicator to try and convince Yellow Diamond that this planet "is of use" to the Diamond Authority. Steven takes this to mean that Peridot is selling them out and tries to stop her, thinking that her fear of the Cluster is no excuse for this betrayal.
 * Steven Universe Future has Jasper stubbornly refuse to listen to either Steven or Amethyst.
 * Steven calls himself out for this and represses his guilt and trauma after
 * Danny Phantom:
 * Comes up frequently about Vlad Masters, and numerous characters call him out for his attitude about being Vlad Plasmius. No one denies that it was Jack's fault that he caused the accident in college that led to Vlad getting his ghost powers, as well as ghost acne, and ending up in the hospital; Jack himself acknowledges in Vlad's debut that he messed up but is confident that Vlad has forgiven him. Danny feels sorry for Vlad after learning about Plasmius, if squicked out on hearing that Vlad has the hots for his mother Maddy; Maddy has the same attitude when Vlad conspires to isolate her and Danny at his mansion in Colorado. While Vlad in the Bad Future is remorseful about what he was, an alternate timeline where Jack receives ghost powers has Danny and alternate Maddy call him out for The Series Finale proper has  He asserts that he never meant to hurt Vlad, and always considered him a friend.
 * Dark Danny in the Bad Future was born from a traumatic experience, namely that Yet when Prime Danny confronts him, he says that he will never become the monster that Dark Danny is.
 * "Girls' Night Out" has the lady ghosts in the series band together after fighting with their boyfriends, including Skulker, and banish all the males from Amity Park while hypnotizing the women into loving them. Jasmine, Sam and Maddy remain immune while Jack takes Danny on a fishing trip so they remain unaffected. The trio tries to take down the ghosts, with Maddy and Sam calling out Ember for thinking that all men deserve to suffer for normal couple fights.

Real Life

 * The real Frank Abegnale (of Catch Me If You Can, cited in Film above), now a reformed con artist, says that sure his crimes started after his parents divorced, but that did not justify his actions with defrauding Pan-Am airlines, impersonating a doctor, and becoming a fake lawyer. (What makes the doctor impersonation, if it actually happened, egregious is he nearly got a baby killed due to not knowing medical terminology.) He was actually amused that Steven Spielberg used that point in his life as the fictional Frank's motive for stealing money: to get his parents back together. The real Frank asserts there was no emotional reason; he did it because it was fun. Plus, he points out plenty of parents divorce and their kids don't become con artists.
 * Paul Dini and Bruce Timm discussed this during the director's commentary for Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker regarding Harley. After what Harley does in the movie, Bruce mandated that Harley had to die; that she was a domestic abuse victim of the Joker did not justify her . Paul Dini protested this as Harley was his creation, and jokingly drew himself crying about writing the scene. They reached a compromise where