The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz

In a nightmarish land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, a disgusting race of aliens known as Ass Goblins run a prison camp called Auschwitz. Populated by children stolen from the nearby world of Kidland, Auschwitz is the site of unspeakable tortures, as the children must eat the skin of other children and work all day making bicycles and sex dolls out of the bodies of dead children.

Prisoners 999 and 1001, conjoined twins forced to suffer alongside their fellow inmates, find themselves the special project of an Ass Goblin surgeon they call the White Angel, whose bizarre surgical experiments slowly mutate them into goblin-child hybrids as he seeks the secret of Goblin immortality.

Think that's bad? You have no idea.

The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz is a bizarro novel by Cameron Pierce.


 * Anal Probing: ... we don't know why either. It just seems like something aliens do.
 * Ass Shove: The toilet toads. Apparently, this is how the Ass Goblins gain nourishment.
 * Bizarro Fiction
 * Body Horror: If you can believe it, a number of characters start out this way. And get worse.
 * Cold-Blooded Torture
 * Conjoined Twins: Prisoners 999 and 1001, and Frannie 1 and Frannie 2.
 * Efficient Displacement: A toilet toad fired through a wall leaves "a four-legged hole".
 * Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": 999 has forgotten what his name originally was. Averted with 1001, whose name 999 recalls is Otto.
 * Exactly What It Says on the Tin: As their name implies, the Ass Goblins closely resemble giant sentient human butts along with rudimentary sensory and locomotive organs. And claws.
 * Groin Attack: At one point, 999 has a testicle drained with a syringe, and at another, he receives an injection through his urethra.
 * Human Resources: The prisoners are forced to make sex dolls and bicycles out of the bodies of dead children.
 * Hybrid Monster: The cockrats are not described, but the implication is a cross between a cockroach and a rat.
 * I'm a Humanitarian: For breakfast, the prisoners are fed the skin of other prisoners. For dinner, the prisoners have internal organs torn out by toilet toads to eat. The latter process does not seem to have any lasting effect on them, even when 999 is given his own heart to eat.
 * Nazisploitation
 * Refuge in Vulgarity
 * X Meets Y: Monty Python meets Nazisploitation.
 * You Are Number Six: The prisoners are assigned numbers. 999 isn't sure why he and his brother were assigned nonconsecutive numbers.