User:SelfCloak/Quotes

Quotes
""The Internet has brainwashed these teenagers, to the point where that's all they talk about when they're not on it. If only this wasn't accurate...""

- YourMovieSucks, Megan is Missing review

"''"Padme, your boyfriend whom you've known for about 2 weeks by this point came home and ranted for a solid minute about how he savagely murdered a whole bunch of people, women and children included. Deary, this is the part where you pack your bags and quietly leave. ""

- Big Issac, YouTube comment on a video of the scene described, from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

"''"Maybe our bear needs to sit quietly, eat his berries and honey, maybe then he would just be left alone. But no. They'll always be trying to put him on a chain. As soon as they do that, they'll pull out his teeth and claws.""

- Vladimir Putin (translated), Putin's 15 years: A presidential retrospective (RT)

""The most pressing analogy I hold to heart is how Britain stands with mouth a-gawp as it gets progressively fatter and iller, yet remains defiantly opposed to designing streets that people feel safe to ride bicycles on, and continues to let its populated areas be designed in the image of nutritionally-vacuous, big-brand food and drink. As waistlines expand, obesity becomes 'normalised', and solutions drift further and further outside society's collective imagination.""

- スクイグリー (mescale), All About Hikkikomori, Japan's Missing Million

"''"Fun fact: I did [the licking-my-nose-with-my-tongue thing] with Marzia when we recently met, and I think that's one of the reasons why she started liking me. ''... I don't get it either.""

- Pew Die Pie

"''"For all your senses*
 * Yes, we know there are five senses, but we don’t recommend trying to taste or smell your Pixel.""

- Google, Chromebook Pixel

""The NFL, Price is Right, WWE, most major TV networks across the nation are "going pink" to "spread awareness." Horseshit. You give no fucks about helping victims of breast cancer, you just make it seem like you do. You go pink for October, and then...NOTHING. Not a single mention of it until the following year. All you give a fuck about is how your company is viewed. You want to be "hip" and "cool." You're not. Ironically, by saying you care for a while, and then not care for the rest of the time, shows you really don't care at all. You'd be better off not taking a stance on it at all.""

- WildThingSammiT, So about this "if men can do it, why can't women" trend in Hollywood. (Voat thread)

"Moira Brown: You know what? I think I'm turning into a Ghoul! Kyle Kallgren: You should be turning into a corpse!"

- Fallout: The Future We Choose - Between the Lines

"''"My five-year-old son just got a trophy for soccer. I was as pleased as any father could be, and I pulled him on my lap, and praised him. Then I figured out everyone got a trophy. All my praise turned to lies in my mouth. I could not unsay what I had just said to a five-year-old. I could not tell him that this trophy was meaningless.

''I could not tell him to try his best, either, because the reward was the same for his best as for his worst.

''My other son quit the team before the season ended, and the coach wanted to give him a trophy in any case. I was revolted by the idea, deeply offended.

''They are trying to make my sons into little, weak, selfish, puling nonentities: boys who will cry if they do not get the same reward for hard work as for goofing off. Boys who will grow up to think life is unfair unless they are handed everything they never earned on a silver platter. I cannot regard this attempt with anything but a deep mistrust, bordering on hatred. Who are these people, and what do they have against my boys? Why are they trying to spoil them?""

- John C. Wright, If everyone is Super, no one will be

"''"Being pretty [as a girl] is great. The problem is that you can't stay pretty forever. In 20 years, a re-creation of [a club party with alcohol and friends] would look really, really sad.""

- A Dose of Buckley, caption on "Pretty Girls" by Britney Spears and Iggy Azaela, The Ten Worst Songs of 2015

""It's a ColecoVision in a Jaguar shell, and I'm... Fuck, what the shit is going on?!""

- pxlsicle, Retro VGS Rebranded as Coleco Chameleon - #CUPodcast

""[Changes in modern media, compared to old works, make] the story reflect the sensibilities of a modern audience. Fiction is [a] product of culture, and culture is a product of circumstance. Our circumstances now are not the same as they were in classical times, so neither is our culture and neither is our fiction.""

- MrBtongue, Tasteful, Understated Nerdrage: Genre vs. Literature

""''[...] [H]old managers accountable for mismanagement. Any manager who leads his team into a death march has failed his employees, his superiors, and his company's investors. He has not done the job he was hired to do, which is to deploy the company's resources intelligently and profitably. We've all been to those triumphant post-ship meetings where these so-called "leaders" got big praise and a bigger bonus check as a reward for wreaking havoc on the health and personal lives of their employees. That's a perverse feedback loop, which perpetuates an abusive system. Any manager who put her team through more than a month of pre-ship crunch to get the product out the door should be getting a pink slip, not a promotion.""

- Evan Robinson, It's Not Just Abusive, It's Stupid

""''[...] I'm a little flabbergasted by the existence of [the New 2015 Macbook]. And being real, that is partly because I know someone who I tried to convince not to buy this. "It doesn't make any sense," I said to them. ''...And they bought it anyway. ...And it hurts my heart.""

- Riley Murdock (tongue-in-cheek, it's then revealed the person was his wife)

""It's like an art piece that shows us what Jimi Hendrix might have done if he had no talent or skill.""

- mactopus, on "Confused!" by Kid Cudi

"''"Give a girl protection, she will be safe when you are around. Give a girl a lesson on how to protect herself, she will be safe even when you are not around. ''But women are supposed to be protected by men, so stick to the glorious Yamato Spirit and don't bother with it. -sighs-""

- dRoy, 'I must get stronger so that I can protect those I care about' trope (TV Tropes forum thread)

"''"DONT WORRY! This is the last time you will see any weeb shit in my videos. JUST KIDDING, I"M PUTTING MY WAIFUS IN ALLLLL MY VIDEOS AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU CAN SCUK MY DIIICK TILL ITS RAW""

- Video description of Flippy 's 癌癌癌 HONG KONG 97 癌癌癌 (Review)

""It might seem, and it often feels, as though stuff on the Web lasts forever, for better and frequently for worse: the embarrassing photograph, the regretted blog (more usually regrettable not in the way the slaughter of civilians is regrettable but in the way that bad hair is regrettable).""

- Jill Lepore, Cobweb, The New Yorker

"''"[...] [Compare the Bill Cosby rape allegations] to the Michael Jackson molestation accusations. You remember all the famous friends who came out in droves to defend Michael Jackson? Well, for one of America's most beloved entertainers, it's odd that there aren't a whole lot of people rushing to Cosby's defense. Not even those who defended him back [in a court case] in 2005.""

- EliotETC, The WORST People of 2015!

""That girl... is talking... to Senpai. That's... unacceptable."

- YandereDev, as Yandere-chan, in one of his Yandere Simulator videos.

""The truth is our standards for what a “successful relationship” should be are pretty screwed up. If a relationship ends and someone’s not dead, then we view it as a failure, regardless of the emotional or practical circumstances present in the person’s lives. And that’s kind of insane.""

- Mark Manson, Healthy Relationships Habits Most People Think are Toxic (Quartz article)

""Hear me out now... Your special someone got kidnapped and now you gotta save her, am I right?""

- Lubba, Super Mario Galaxy 2

"Luigi: Guys, I think I found the switch to the lasers. Mario: How can you be sure? Luigi: There's a sign below the switch that says "Lazerz." Sonic: What a goddamn genius!"

- Mario & Luigi: The Great Castle Heist! (Machinima)

""You know, there's a really thin line between "YouTube Challenge" and "Snuff Fetish Film.""

- Andre the Black Nerd (Black Nerd Comedy), WORST OF 2015: Black Nerd Rants

""The universe is officially doomed because I'm an idiot, and I lost the fucking ring.""

- 'Spoony, as the Avatar, Ultima 7 Part 2: Serpent Isle Review Retrospective''

""The modern information age got such a jump start from the "calculator wars" that it's bizarre that it isn't discussed in any more depth than it is.""

- LGR Tech Tales - The Calculator Wars

"''"...um...I'm sorry...you can't be a member of this club anymore...you're too scary ...huh, that's ironic...being kicked out of a club about scary things...for being scary...""

- The Occult Club leader, to Yandere-chan if she murders someone, Yandere Simulator

""Who'd of thought it, huh? A bunch of small towners like us wrapped up in an adventure like this.""

- Olivia, Minecraft: Story Mode

"''"Kafkaesque doesn't even begin to describe how fucked up this is. Those poor kids are going to have their lives ruined because some fuckwad at the police station decided that was the only charge they could stick on them. Our legal system is too fucked up to even repair at this point. It's become a series of depressing stories like this highlighting how broken it is but, until people are impacted by it themselves, most are not willing to raise their voices and demand change.""

- Bananassassin, Teen Boy Will Be Charged As Adult For Having Naked Pics of a Minor: Himself (Voat thread)

"Merk: Oh no... Watching Pokémon as an adult... Adum: It's great!"

- Adum & Merk - Pokémon (Episode 3)

"Yeah, that's right, this site's under construction. I feel I must tell you this by posting multiple "under construction" images in case you didn't notice that it was "under construction" that way I don't feel as bad leaving it "unfinished.""

- shitty.website

""It's like, you get to an age- like, you're a kid, and then you start growing up, and all you heroes start dropping like flies.""

- Drowninginhorseshoes, about his inability to make a tribute video to the late Ultimate Warrior, Horseshoe Review: Rainbow Falls MLP:FiM)

VNs
""Virtual Noble is not really a good conversationalist, and kind of a creeper.""

- Noble, on his persona

"''"Don't worry! I'll be gentle. I'll kill you slowly... so, so slowly. ''After all, I lo... ''...athe, loathe, loathe, loathe, loathe, loathe, loathe, despise, despise, despise, despise, despise, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate... ...HATE you so much that I just CAN'T STAND IT! I hate you so much that I want to slaughter you! Ahaha... ahahahahaha!""

- Ayano, Mix Ore

"Shoji: Another day of waking up and dressing like a girl. (The Anime Man: MY FAVORITE!!!"

- Highschool Romance Playthrough

"Shoji: Sorry. I don't drink. Hoshi: Really? It helps with stress. Shoji (thinking): That's really an awful coping mechanism, you know."

- Highschool Romance

"(As Shoji, to Hoshi) "Don't fucking'' analyse the fucking.. projectile physics of fireworks right now! ''There is a girl who is about to sit on my lap and probably get my bone up her pool. So... you know, unless you don't want me to get kicked out of the school, y' should prob'ly help me.""

- The Anime Man, Highschool Romance Playthrough (Ep. 4)

"(At the festival) Shoji: How's it going? Your booth looks pretty popular. Hoshi: It is. Once word got around that there was a stall for figuring out what guys are thinking... Well, I'm sure you can imagine. (The Anime Man: This school is just full of horny chicks.)"

- Highschool Romance

"Hoshi: It's amazing how many of these [soap operas] run for years, I wonder how they keep the plot going? Shoji: I'm pretty sure they just pull random, nonsensical stuff out of a hat."

- Highschool Romance

"(As she and Shoji are watching a soap opera) "Are those handcuffs? I can't tell if he's getting kinky, or if he's about to reveal that he's a cop.""

- Hoshi, Highschool Romance

"Well-endowed cat girls. Sex jokes. Faceful’s of women’s underwear. Bad grammar. Truly, Sakura Spirit has a little bit of everything."

- Hardcore Gamer review.

""Assemble the Santa legion! We have an army.""

- Noble (Lost Pause), his proposed solution to a dramatic problem in Sakura Santa.