"Jump Off a Bridge" Rebuttal

"Jimmy: But dad, all my friends are gonna be there!,

Hugh: I know, son, but if all your friends were named Cliff, would you jump off them? I don't think you would."

- Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

It's a familiar scenario. Kid wants something from parent they know won't be easy to get. The first argument they make is almost always, "Everybody else is going to that concert!"/ "All my friends have this body part pierced!"/ "Everyone at my school is wearing one!" or something similar.

The first rebuttal the parent makes in defense will inevitably be, "So, if the whole world/ your whole school/ all your friends were going to jump off a bridge, would you jump, too?"

The response will most likely be one of three, in increasing order of frequency:
 * 1) "No... but this is different!"
 * 2) "That's not the point!"
 * 3) "Duh! Of course!"

Perfect set-up for a You Are Grounded or Can't Get Away With Nuthin. Pertains to Peer Pressure Makes You Evil.

Variations occur where the players are not parents and children, but the pattern is always the same. "Cliff" may also be substituted for "bridge." Another variation is "If X told you to jump off a cliff, would you?" or "If all your friends stuck their heads in the oven, would you do it?"

For a brief period in the 90s, the most common response was to say something along the lines of "No, bridge-jumping is tomorrow," and explain that the kid character was also participating in bungee jumping.

Contrast The Complainer Is Always Wrong.

Comic Books
"Kate: Alice [the villain] isn't taking the night off, Colonel.
 * Turns up in Batwoman when Kate and her father (who knows her secret identity) argue over whether she should take time to recover from being drugged in her last fight.

Colonel Kane: And if Alice jumped off a bridge?

Kate: I'd be right behind her. You're such a Dad."

Fan Fiction
"Remus: If someone told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
 * In the Harry Potter fanfic Fire Burns, Katherine and Remus have an arguement over Katherine having killed someone on Voldemort's orders.

Katherine: I'd ask them to demonstrate."

Film - Animated

 * Antz: Z tries to stop the foreman from finishing a tunnel that by asking him this. As the foreman considers it thoughtfully, Z comments that he's asking the wrong guy.

Film - Live Action
"Connie: It's just a decal, everyone's wearing them.
 * The movie Heathers asks the question, "If the coolest kids in school committed suicide, would others follow?" with a resounding, "Yes!" A dark way to address Truth in Television, but Some Anvils Need to Be Dropped.
 * Life Imitates Art: In 2006-2008, a lot of teenagers in Bridgend, Wales decided to commit suicide on Bebo for no reason other than the fact that everyone else was doing it.
 * Coneheads: Beldar Conehead's reaction at his daughter, Connie's fake tattoo on her cone.

Beldar: If everyone jumped into a bitumious cauldron, would you jump in too?

Connie: I am not a little cone anymore, dad!"


 * Suicide Club: Proven. The whole movie is about a wave of suicides among schoolchildren all over the country for seemingly no apparent reason. A group of school-kids are on the roof talking about the recent wave of suicides. One says, "We should kill ourselves too!" Guess what happens? The whole lot of them end up jumping off the building. One girl left who's too scared ends up dragging a friend along screaming "Now we have to! We have to!" Turns out . They never explain why, but it's Japanese cinema, what do you expect?

Jokes
"Dick: You wouldn't jump off a bridge just because your friends did, would you?
 * There's a joke which responds to the question with "I'm a lifeguard."
 * An old Smothers Brothers routine:

Tommy: Not anymore."

Literature
""Suppose everyone thought that way."
 * Literary Example: Jessi Ramsey says in one of the Babysitters Club books that this is one of her mother's favorite arguments.
 * Subversion in this snippet from a conversation in Catch-22:

"Then I'd be a damned fool to think otherwise!""


 * In Dan Abnett's Warhammer 40000 Gaunts Ghosts novel Ghostmaker, Bragg is asked if the Ghosts would jump off a cliff if Gaunt told them to and says yes, of course, is that a trick question?

Live Action TV
"His Mother: So? If the two of them were going to jump off a bridge, would you jump, too?
 * Straight example in My Brother and Me: D.D. wants a haircut like his two best friends are getting.

Melanie (big sister): Do you have to ask? You know he would."

"Will: Come on, man! If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?!"
 * The Fresh Prince of Bel Air: Will tells his uncle's jerk of a rival to "Drop dead!" and he does right then and there.

"Ward: Would you expect Wally to jump off a roof just because Chip did?
 * An episode of The Bill featured Diane Noble trying to talk down a daredevil kid from jumping off a bridge. At one point she says "If everyone else jumped off... never mind."
 * Leave It to Beaver had this dialogue in one episode:

Beaver: How high a roof, Dad?"

"Col. Flagg: This Chandler fellow decides he doesn't want to fight anymore. Soon other soldiers decide not to fight anymore. You know what will happen if everyone decides not to fight anymore?
 * MASH subverted this in one episode:

B.J. Peace?"

"Jane: Let me ask you something. If Director Bertram wanted a CBI presence to jump off a cliff, would you and your CBI presence jump off that cliff?
 * From The Mentalist:

Lisbon: If there was overtime, sure."

"Chavo: You told me to do that
 * When The Osbournes had their reality program, Jack went to the beach with some friends who all thought it would be fun to jump off a pier. Jack did it, landed wrong, broke his arm and had to call his mom from the hospital. Sharon asked "Why did you do that?". Jack answered "Because all my friends were doing it." Sharon probably realized asking the stock phrase would be rather foolish.
 * El Chavo Del Ocho from all, have the most intelligent response.

Don Ramón: You're so obedient.(El Chavo shows pride over this). And if I tell to jump off a bridge, you would do it?

Chavo: I'm obedient, not retarded."

Newspaper Comics

 * A young Dilbert very effectively responds to this argument after his mother will not allow him to go to the skate park with his friends. "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training, and equipment. But if 100% of the people enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example, then I would conclude it was safe. A better question might have been 'If everyone else wore clothes, would you do that?'"
 * The comic strip Zits which deals primarily with teen-parent relationships seems to enjoy this trope. Jeremy's rebuttals to the question of jumping off a bridge have included: "For a free T-Shirt? Yeah!", "No, but I might be tempted to push you over" and "If it kept me from hearing that stupid cliche again, I'd be first in line."
 * The book Garfield's Insults, Put-Downs, and Slams lists the following rebuttals:
 * "That depends. Will it mess up my hair?"
 * "Sure. Maybe I'll land on a fat kid."
 * "As long as the line's not too long."
 * "No, I'd rather jump off a building."
 * "I think you can do that at Disneyworld."

Radio

 * Old Harrys Game, the sitcom set in Hell. Thomas is talking to a woman who killed herself because she listened to him when to told her to commit fraud and was subsequently arrested (or something like that). He denies responsibility "If I told you to put your head in the oven... OK bad example".

Web Animation
"Homestar: (wearing sunglasses at night) Sup?
 * Happens in Homestar Runner as well, when Homestar is attempting to be cool in the Strong Bad Email "the bet":

Marzipan: Homestar, that is not cool.

Homestar: Yes, it is. Strong Bad said so.

Marzipan: Well, if Strong Bad told you to jump off a bridge--

Homestar: Yes!"

Webcomics
"Gardevoir: You threw jars of your own urine at people?
 * Karate Bears Webcomic actually do jump off a bridge
 * Parodied in Girl Genius, where Agatha tells Gil that he does not get to die just because "everyone else did"!
 * Dr. Gardevoir attempts this with the Sniper in Level 30 Psychiatry

Sniper: Saxton Hale said it would be cool.

Gardevoir: If Saxton Hale jumped off a cliff-

Sniper: Like he did in "Saxton Hale vs the Red Cliffs of Doomver"?


 * 'Has that cliff jumping question ever worked?''"

Western Animation
"Chuckie: But, Angelica, you ordered me to come up here.
 * Rugrats: A variation occurs in the episode "Driving Miss Angelica", where Angelica has successfully tricked Chuckie into being her slave, and she now blames him when her orders have gotten them trapped in a closet.

Angelica: Do you always do everything I tell you? If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you?!

Chuckie: Probably."

"Penny: ...But daddy, all my friends are going.
 * Used straight in a The Proud Family episode in regards to a concert.

Oscar: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it?

Penny: If it was fun.

Oscar: Fun?!"

"Marge: What on earth possessed you to get an earring?
 * The Simpsons:

Bart: Milhouse has one.

Marge: If Milhouse jumped off a cliff...

Bart: Milhouse jumped off a cliff?! I'm there!"

"Bart: I can't go [to Nelson's birthday party]. No one else is!
 * and again, but reversed to Bart's confusion:

Marge: If no one else jumped off the Empire State Building, would you not jump?

Bart: ...kinda?"

"Fry: If you were programmed to jump off a bridge, would you?
 * In the Futurama pilot, Bender refuses to bend bars, saying he's only programmed to bend girders.

Bender: I'll have to check my program. (small pause) Yep."

"Vince: But every kid at school has seen it!
 * Recess: Vince, a fourth-grader, is talking with his parents about a wildly popular movie that they won't let him go see.

Mom: If every kid at school jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?

Vince: If it was going to be the only thing they talked about the next day, yes!"

"Lula: So if everyone had the plague you want it too?
 * An episode of Bobby's World had a Running Gag of his parents constantly saying this to him, with Bobby responding with things like "Well, if I was hot, I might..." At the end of the episode, he wants them to go by the bridge so he can "see all the action".
 * In another episode, he lampshades this.
 * Dave the Barbarian "That Darn Ghost"

Candy: Yes! DUH!"

"Elise: Okay, but we're having salad for dinner.
 * From the Dan Vs episode "New Mexico":

Chris: ...Dan said we were having burgers.

Elise: If Dan jumped off a cliff, would you?

Chris: *thinks about it*

Elise: Chris!

Chris: *stammers* I mean, it depends.

Elise: Don't jump off a cliff!

Chris: Well, I wasn't planning on it.

Elise: But if Dan jumped, you would?

Chris: *thinks about it*

Elise: CHRIS!"

"Buford/Bufavulous: Mother always told me if all the other kids were jumping off a cliff, I should to.
 * The Legend of Tarzan: A kid injures himself after trying to imitate Tarzan, citing his ability to jump from the top of a waterfall and land safely. His aunt begins to ask the question before realizing it's a poor example.
 * From the Phineas and Ferb episode, "Escaliferb" during a Leap of Faith moment:

Baljeet/Baljeetolas: Your mother said that?

Buford/Bufavulous: She was not a nurturer. Let's go! (jumps)"

"Negaduck: And to think, all this time all I had to do was ask."
 * In a Darkwing Duck episode while DW is under the effect of a Love Potion (which makes him all buddy/buddy with Negaduck), Negaduck tells him to jump off a cliff, so he does. He even yells Geronimo on his way down.

Real Life

 * Unfortunately, Truth in Television: suicide pacts.
 * Truth in Television: Sheep do it too.
 * And dogs.
 * The Twilight Fan Dumb went to a all new low when someone jumped off a cliff because Bella did it.
 * This post on Gaijin Smash discusses the cultural gap on date excuses.