Chobits Abridged

"Hideki: Alright, she was in the garbage so I guess I should.. "recycle" her... yeah recycle. If she's anything like the CPR dummies back home I should probably start by fingering-UH I MEAN switching, switching, her on.

(Activates Chii, Windows startup noise included)

Hideki: Uh... hey Miss Persocom... uh hows it going? I was just trying to uh.. uhm... aw fuckit just gimme the damn porn lady."

Chobits Abridged is yet another abridged series, created by Geassguy360. Watch it here.

""Oh god dammit, now I'm calling MYSELF Crispin Freeman!""
 * Actor Allusion: Of the extremely non-subtle variety. Everyone calls Hideki Crispin...except Chi, but by then he's forgotten his original name entirely.

"Crispin: "This is where the C.E.O. to one of the porno industry's biggest firms lives! Heh, firm.""
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Almost Invoked. Does it count if its only 2 things?
 * "That guy stole someones underwear, AND HE'S LOITERING."
 * Badass Adorable: Because threats are badass.
 * Bad Liar: Again, Crispin. "I isn't- I mean I aren't! I mean-"
 * Camp Gay: Shinbo.
 * Cringe Comedy: Half the point. Specific examples include Crispin in episode one where he he's hiding Chii, episode two when attacked by Minoru's persocoms episode three where water is all up in the boy's crotch, and anytime anyone mentions porn sites.
 * Damn It Feels Good to Be A Gangster: Sumomo. Between acid acquisition, taking teeth as trophies and breaking kneecaps...
 * Door Focus: Episode one, Shinbo and Sumomo share an extended conversation behind the door after they leave.
 * Dream Sequence: Hideki Crispin drifts off into one of these in episode three.
 * Embarrassing Nickname: Crispin. Adopts his nickname begrudgingly and then refuses to answer to his actual name two episodes later.
 * God: The local Deadpan Snarker and Audience Surrogate.
 * Heh Heh You Said X: Hideki...er, Crispin does this to himself, while talking about porn:

"Landlady: "I'm human, like you. Human."
 * Insane Troll Logic: "There are some totally legit rumors on the 4chan forums about these things called Chobits or somethin'. I don't really know everythin' about it, but yada yada yada, artificial intelligence is involved, and 9/11 was an inside job!"
 * Most Definitely Not a Villain: The landlady; though she is a human, so her insistence is sort of weird:

Crispin: "Oh. Okay, well I was wondering--"

Landlady: "Human.""


 * Running Gag: Crispin/Hideki. Can you say porno? Porno Porno Porno. Porno PORNO PORNO!!
 * This Is for Emphasis, Bitch: Sumomo
 * Tradesnark: Kill ya Bitch™ (property of Microsoft, all rights reserved.)
 * Verbal Tic Name: Chii. Much like the show.
 * Unreadably Fast Text: Large blocks of text are shown in the intro for fractions of a second each.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?: LOITERING. TYPE 4 YOU SICK DEMENTED F#%K.
 * Who Writes This Crap?: "It's called the CLAMP, and I don't see how that joke is really funny, but..."