My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic/WMG/Setting/Equestrian Culture

When your main inhabitants aren't human, speculation abounds. If you have other guesses then:

"Shared Universe guesses go here Pony guesses go here Guesses about Equestria itself go here Science and Magic guesses go here Dragon guesses go here Guesses on other species go here"

"Go back to the Main Setting Guesses page here"

"and you can still go back to the Main WMG Page, here"

Ponies in My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic practice polygyny.
As a result of there being less males to go around.
 * Real horses are the same way, stallions can't stand competition so they drive most of the mature males out of the herd.
 * In the future, the six mane characters could all be "sister brides" to the same stallion.
 * I chalk the apparent lack of males to the fact that the show's aimed at girls. Background characters in male-oriented shows tend to be male; with this show being aimed at girls, the background characters will tend to be female. Then again, I tend to subscribe heavily to the Literary Agent Hypothesis.
 * Pretty much jossed with Hearts and Hooves Day.

Pony funeral customs.
It's proven that in "Hearts and Hooves Day" that Death is canon. So, there are three types of pony funerals for each type.
 * Earth Ponies are generally buried so they can return to Earth.
 * Pegasi are practice Tibetan Sky Burial, where their bodies are devoured by scavengers so their bodies are in the sky. Fluttershy will have no problem with that, or a literal sky burial where they are buried in clouds.
 * Unicorns practice cremation since they're magical and their bodies became free from the earthly realm. Their ashes are scattered or kept in urns like humans do, and their horns are often kept in display as a family's memento.
 * Higher class ponies are encased in tombs engraved with elaborate designs, detailing their past lives.

The Equestria national anthem is...
... a waltz inspired theme. Why? A canter, in horse-riding is a controlled 3 beat gait. Waltz are written in 3/4 key. It would be both Fridge Brilliance and Shown Their Work from the show's musical direction. Any composer bronies out there, take note.
 * Is this good?
 * This is not a waltz. It's in 4/4 time, not 3/4 time.

We won't see even one blacksmith before the last season of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.
In a land of horses, we haven't seen one yet, even in the western town of Appleloosa. They know what anvils are (we've seen two, so far), and they know how to play a game of horseshoes, but not one character actually wears horseshoes (we have seen boots and shoes that fit over hooves, but that's it).
 * Look at the tracks that the Cutie-Mark Crusaders leave in "Stare Master" that Fluttershy follows into the Everfree Forest: the Crusaders are clearly wearing horseshoes.

In Equestria, female is the dominant gender.
Equestria is a Lady Land society not run by males, but by females. All of the political leaders are not female because a princess is glamorous, but because a conservative Pony belief is that the females are more suited for leadership roles. That's why the show focuses on a strong female cast of characters- within the realms of their society, they would function as a male roles. In a similar vein to the novel, Egalia's Daughters, the men become "masculists," as opposed to real-life feminism. They've worked their way up into equal standing with the females, but some conservative ways are still around, such as the sparkley atmosphere.

Equestrian society is inspired from Brave New World.
In Equestrian society happiness is of the utmost importance. After the terrible chaos and suffering of Discord's rule, everypony wanted stability instead of the anarchy of previous years. After defeating Discord the two Royal sisters began to implement these ideas; however they came to blows over the exact implementation of these ideas. Equestrian society today is ruled as a soft-version of Brave New World. Our Mane Cast are Alpha and Beta, which explains why they are assigned leader roles and why they are friends with each other. Background ponies are often seen repeated many times in the background; this is because they are genetically identical, bred under identical conditions. This means there are hundreds of Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bons, for instance. Derpy (with cross eyes) is simply a mistake - she is too intelligent for her assigned caste, she has to act slow to fit in. Family relations are discouraged which explains the lack of parental influence; but as Celestia is benovelent she lets traditional farming families like the Pie's and the Apple's stay.
 * Methinks somepony might be overusing Soma.

Wizard hats were made with unicorns in mind.
Originally, the hat helped to conceal a unicorn's horn, either to disguise the unicorn when out amongst less magical equines or as an antiquated decency thing. Some hats may even have helped amplify or channel the horn's magic, as might've been the case with Star Swirl the Bearded's belled cap. However, over time, the hat became an artifact, and a novelty in of itself.
 * Alternatively or in addition, the hat may simply have served to conceal the horn's glow when the unicorn in question is actually using magic -- assuming that that is in fact an in-universe phenomenon and not just Rule of Perception.

The Ponyville bowling alley is a front for the Equestiran Mafia.
After all, the owner is named "Mr. Kingpin".

The Idea of an Alicorn precedes Celestia and Luna.
As we saw at the end of the play, the flag shown has two Alicorns on it. If the events of the play takes place before Celestia and Luna are born, how can the ponies think to put Allicorns on the flag? Because the idea of the Alicorn had alredy existed. The sentiments behind it, the best characteristics and talents of all three pony races present in a single pony, was either created by, or be very appealing to, the Pony Pan-Nationalists, the Clover the Clevers, Smart Cookies and Private Pansy's of the world. So when the three tribes became friends and put aside their differences, they decided to put the Heraldric Symbol of Pony Unity on their flag.

Economically, politically, technological, but mostly socially, Equestria is in the Age of Enlightenment/Industrial Revolution
This is going to be a long one...

We do know that their was a "dark ages" (the time of Discord) which has since passed and a "middle ages" (time under both the Alicorn's rule) which are both considered to be part of Equestria's history. Luna was acting much like a mid-evil monarch trying to gain the loyallity of her people by giving a demonstration of her power with her voice (in the midages, people were more loyal to their region rather than their nation, thus kings and queens needed to remind their subject why they bowed to them).

Equestria appears to be in some kind of industrialization far away from the tiny little farm town of Ponyville. Skyscrapers and a large city exists atleast in Manehatten. The most obvious fruit of their labor is the train, which is new enough that ones going on longer journey's need some strong Earth Ponies to pull it. Earth Ponies appear to be the leaders in this new field, and growing into a new rich factory owners. It is cutting into the old Unicorn nobility, who have been the sole wealthy ponies in Equestria up till now. The evidence of that are the extreme amount of Unicorns in Canterlot, and how in the play the only "rolayity" that appeared as a reperentative was the one from the unicorns (and the fact almost all Earth Pony's appeared to be little more than serfs). This new Earth Pony elite, however, has forced the Unicorn's to welcome some of these Earth Ponies into Canterlot's high society in a desperate plead for their status to survive.

Pegasus society appeared to have already moved on from it's Roman militarism to a society based around sports, similar to the revivial of the Olympics being reformed not as tribute to the gods done by warrior's, but competition done by athletes.

Some Earth Pony's are moving into what was once inhosbilitable lands surrounding Equestria, similar to the migration west in the Old West.

Princess Celestia's use of Twilight to research more into the mysteries of magic parallels Enlightened monarchs spending lots of money on scientists to increase their own prestiege and their appearance of wisdom. Celestia seams to be atleast trying to become more directly connected to the common man, also a trait of some Enlightenment era kings.

With Unicorn magic increasing the spread of technology (magically making something work is a very helpful trait for ingenuity and ivention) one has to wonder how quickly they will get to the modern era.


 * Building off of this, Equestria may undergo democratic reforms (or going into full Crack Fic mode, a revolution) at some point.

In Equestria, "I Spy" was made as a sight-seeing game.
Several folks have remarked, tongue-in-cheek, that the game of "I Spy" in the beginning of Hearth's Warming Eve was not how you play it; you're supposed to guess what they spy, not just have it pointed out. Here in Equestria, however, it was made as a sight-seeing game, so a pony could focus on one thing at a time instead of getting discombobulated by all the wonderful things to see.

Equestria's upper class are all Non-Idle Rich.
Every adult Equestrian has a cutie mark, and thus a special talent, even seemingly useless ponies like Prince Blueblood and Jet Set. Having a special talent and never bothering to exercise it seems like a good way to court Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome or just deep dissatisfaction with one's life, and all the evidence points to ponies throwing themselves into the use of their talents regradless of monetary concerns. Rich ponies might not apply their talents in a way that actually makes money, but they all devote at least a few hours a day to their talents nonetheless.

Pegasi do not form traditional families in the way that unicorns and earth ponies do.
Think about it: we've never seen any relatives on any pegasus character. We've seen Twilight's parents, Rarity's parents and little sister, Applejack's extended family, and Pinkie's parents and sisters, but we've never seen, nor heard any reference to Rainbow's family, nor Fluttershy's, nor Scootaloo's. And if you think about it, this makes sense: we know from "Hearthswarming Eve" that the pegasi were originally a heavily militaristic society, so it would make sense if they had a Spartan notion that children should be raised in common as part of their early military training.

Mixed-type marriages are not widespread nor socially accepted
While crossbreeding between unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies was confirmed, it seems to be extremely rare. All couples shown in canon so far are of the same type, and Carrot Cake could only name two, extremely spread cases of other type of pony in the his and his wife's family trees.

In Equestria, mirrors have the same sort of symbolism to ponies as storks and cabbage patches have to humans.
That is, it's common to tell young ponies about where baby ponies come from by telling them that they emerged from magic mirrors. In the same way that people would claim that babies were delivered by storks or hidden in cabbage patches. Perhaps it's even traditional to give a mirror to a newly married couple as a wedding gift so that they're symbolically blessed with a family in the future.

Unicorns often carry their heads high for a practical reason rather then snobbery.
That practical reason is to not poke each other's eyes out.

Earth ponies are traditionally named after food.
let's see, we've got pinkie PIE, APPLEjack, chancellor PUDDINGhead, smart COOKIE(?), the CAKE family, CARROT top, etc. this is only tradition, and not a hard and fast rule. It probably stems from the fact that the earth ponies originally grew food.
 * A lot of them have flower names, but again, flowers are both decoration and food in Equestria.
 * Specifically, they seem to be traditionally named after the food whose production they're most involved in. The Apple family grows apples, Pinkie Pie and the Cakes are bakers...so this could easily have started out based on a notion of "learn a pony's name and know who to go to come shopping time".

In Equestria, social bullying is considered to be much worse than physical violence.
While there is no shortage of monsters willing to deal physical violence to the ponies, all of the antagonistic ponies we've seen so far have been socially antagonistic (Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, Prince Blueblood, Jet Set and Upper Crust, Trixie, Hoops, Quarterback and Dumbbell). We haven't seen Rainbow Dash or Apple Bloom being physically beaten up by their respective bullies, just made fun of. On the other hand, the Cutie Mark Crusaders descend into a Big Ball of Violence at the drop of a hat, and the mane cast are often casually violent with each other, and it's not a big deal. When they hurt each others' feelings, though, it's time for a big apology and a letter to Princess Celestia. Since friendship is basically the only thing keeping Equestria safe and functional, this makes sense. It also fits with the behaviour of real-world horses - horses bite each other when they're annoyed, but the way to make a horse truly suffer is to shun it from the herd.
 * The fact that Equestrian Ponies are shown to be Made of Iron further shows this. If a pony can survive having an anvil dropped on them, something that is FATAL to humans, then less extreme physical violence really not an issue.
 * Absolutely. Ponies bonking each other on the head ultimately leads to a finite # of not-THAT-badly-injured ponies. Ponies fighting and feuding with each other ultimately leads to the Apocalypse, as all the huddled survivors end up being frozen forever in eternal hatred as the entire landscape turns into the next Ice Age. Yeah, no bucking kidding that they'd consider hurt feelings as more heinous than hurt bodies.

The shapes taken by the Elements of Harmony, based off the Mane Six's cutie marks, will come over time to be associated in Equestria with the Elements themselves.
The apple for honesty, the butterfly for kindness, the lightning bolt for loyalty, etc.

Ancient temples, the Sapphire Statue/Stone, and Ahuizotl don't exist in Equestria.
They were all just made up for the book.

Pizzas have not been invented by ponies.
I'm rather surprised that the single most popular party food is not seen at any party shown in the show. We've seen lots of birthday cake and cupcakes, but no pizza! A real shame too... Pizza is a great food to have, they don't even need to have any real meat on them.
 * And how is a pony supposed to hold a pizza slice, let alone take one from many (outside unicorn telekinesis, of course)?

Pony society is atheistic -- and not just the Flat Earth type either.
Yes, this is in part a jab at the whole pervasive "Celestia ZOMG goddess!" meme. But consider that religion isn't actually ever brought up in the show, and then look at the world from the ponies' perspective: Day and night are managed by their very own royalty, magic as practiced by unicorns is essentially just another science with practical applications, and they know who's in charge of the weather, who paints the frost on their windows, and generally how the world works. And suddenly the notion that if they ever held them in the first place, ponies may well long have Outgrown Such Silly Superstitions doesn't seem all that farfetched anymore..

It's only night time nudity that is embarassing to ponies
When Fluttershy covers herself in shame in front of Rainbow Dash at the beginning of The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 it may seem a little absurd since ponies are naked all the time anyway. But who says it's the nudity itself that she was ashamed of? The better reason could be that when it gets colder during the night, their mammary glands tend to get stiffer from the temperature and it makes ponies look less modest than during the day. It would also explain why Rarity and Fluttershy put on robes during the night scene in "Read it and weep" considering how they are the two most elegant ponies out of the mane six and wouldn't feel comfortable without them.
 * Then why did she cover where they aren't? Did she get to talking with Lyra at the spa?

Humans, the Earth, and its various cultural trappings are fictional in Equestria.
Humans are mythological creatures which are popular subjects of fantasy literature in Equestria. Many of the elements of these stories (such as the fictional fantasy kingdom of France)have entered the popular consciousness. When ponies refer to something from the human world, they are actually making references to these stories. Everypony knows what a human skull and hand looks like just like almost anyone in the real world can identify a dragon even though they don't exist.
 * This would probably explain (in fanon) Lyra Heartstrings's obsession with humans and human culture, going so far as sitting like a human and wanting to be one. After all, we know dragons don't exist, but which little kid doesn't want to be one at some point or other - even into adulthood?
 * Always thought this exactly because of Lyra. my headcanon is that Lyra is what ponies call an "Anthro" which means she's the pony equivalent of a Furry. seeing as I see at least 50% of the ponies we've seen in Ponyville are kids or Mane Six age (young adults) (and I feel this is merely because most of the Adults are WORKING during the day, possibly even commuting to the closest big city), I think Lyra is also a Young Adult whoses just the pony version of a Furry :P I bet she even secretly is making a Human Cosplay.

There's a Winter Moon Celebration.
The Summer Sun Celebration celebrates the longest day of the year. Wouldn't it also make sense that there'd be a likewise celebration for the longest night? It's much the same, except it has Luna raising the moon, though until her freedom, Celestia handled that one too. We might see this eventually.

Nightmare Night was originally a Tax Collection event
Originally Luna was in charge of the Equestria's finances, and she would come to collect taxes annually on Nightmare Night, starting off the tradition of a holding a fair to collect the year's tribute. Naturally many would show up disguised in order to evade Taxes. The macabre theme reflected the whole inevitability of Taxes. However after Luna turned to evil, that night became associated with Nightmare Moon. Add one thousand years of cultural evolution and the original purpose of the event was forgotten. But it still remains vestigially as the Candy Tribute.

Nightmare Night and how it fits with the pilot
The story of the fight between Celestia and Luna/NMM is true. It was recorded as such. Over time as the story was told to younger ponies, they began dismissing it as an "old pony's tale" and NMM transformed from a true threat into a boogeyman, used to get fillies to eat their vegetables. Nightmare Night and NMM came together due to their similar names over the course of 1000 years. When NMM returned in S1, the ponies were all shocked that their boogeyman was real.

The Hearth's Warming Eve pageant is traditionally reinterpreted by the actors chosen to play it.
Because really, what are the odds that the Earth Pony Chancellor was a Cloudcuckoolander like Pinkie Pie? Besides, this is before Celestia's time - the leaders' real names and personalities may be lost to history. So when actors are chosen to portray the pageant, they apply their own personalities and interpretations to the story. If, say, the Crusaders and three classmates performed their own pageant at school, the leaders would be very different ponies, although the overall story would be the same.
 * While we don't really know how far back the events go, it wouldn't be totally unrealistic if relevent info, such as the leaders names and personalities, survived in records to the present day. After all, we know the names of a great deal of the names of the pharohs going back 5000 years.
 * I wouldn't put it past Pinkie Pie to have ad-libbed a lot of dialogue, and Applejack who shared the most scenes with her was quick enough go with it and make it sound like part of the script.

It is traditional to burn one or more Windigos on Hearth's Warming Eve.
An outdated tradition to be sure, but... at the time of Equestria's founding, Windigos had apparently grown so populous as to not only force ponies to migrate but also to nearly threaten the new land themselves. Therefore, Windigo hunts were common and, after Clover the clever documented HOW to burn a Windigo, the bodies were often thrown to the flame. When it was realized how pretty the flames were, the ponies connected them with Hearth's Warming Eve, and so they would almost always set them ablaze on that special day. In modern times, this act is seen as somewhat reprehensible, in addition to the Windigos being an endangered species; very few ponies, outside the heritage obsessed unicorns of Canterlot, still practice this tradition.

Ponies inherit the “first name” of their same gendered parent
Upon marriage they traditionally do not change their names. This is the only inheritable name system that makes sense. For example take Filthy Rich and daughter Diamond Tiara. It's established that Filthy Rich's male ancestor was also named Rich. Thus name inheritance is likely to be a factor in naming convention. Also we have Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle in the same generation with completely different names Example study, the Apples: Applebloom and Applejack and are both mares, while Big Macintosh does not appear to have Apple in his name and is a stallion. Example genealogy. Granny Smith marries Grandpa Macintosh, produces a colt name Papa Macintosh. Unknown Grandpa marries Granny Apple, produces filly named Mama Apple. Papa Macintosh and Mama Apple produce current generation of apples. Applejack and Applebloom inherit name from mother, big Macintosh inherits name from father. One exceptions: Rarity and Sweetie Belle; Rarity would seem to be the kind of pony to drop a name, sort of like Chanel in real life. Likely her given name was something like Rarity Belle. Like wise her mother is likewise named Something Belle. Likewise we can surmise that Twilight’s mother is likely Twilight something, as hinted by her resemblance to G1 twilight. Judging by the lack of armor on the father's cutie mark, it's likely Twilight’s father is name is Shining Something, possibly Shining Moon. The only potential wrench in this are the Cakes. It possible that both were born with the name Cake. Thus it possible they were both distant(or rather squicky, not so distant) relatives. Thus both their children of both genders are named Cake. It also possible that they were a slightly more liberal family and one spouse changed his/her name. Also the collective family name is passed along matrilineal lines. EG Granny smith's family is called the Smith family, however since her son is the father to the Apples, the subsequent generation is referred to as the Apple clan.

The name "Rarity" is actually a very common one.
The mane cast eventually finds other ponies that share that name, which would make our Rarity feel sad and begins to think that she's not special any longer. but they eventually learn that you're still a unique pony regardless of what kind of name you have.

Equestira has a naming ceremony similar to Genpuku
Genpuku is a Japanese coming of age ceremony which marks entry into adulthood. A part of said ceremony is the giving of an adult name to the child. There is a high number of ponies who have names very appropriate to their Cutie Marks, suggesting that it's not uncommon for ponies to change or choose a new name for themselves that reflect their Cutie Marks. The Cuteceañera could be, or at least started out as, a ceremony which made these name choices official. How widely this is observed may vary from pony family to pony family, and there may be those who keep their original name (Twilight Sparkle had her name pre-Cutie Mark), or choose a different one entirely (possible Cherilee)

The ponies of Equestria use the same naming conventions as Horse Racing.
...thus explaining the inconsistency of names. Sometimes, a pony is named after an obvious physical characteristic (Rainbow Dash's mane or Pinkie Pie's pinkness), sometimes the name has to do with their personality (Fluttershy's shyness), follows a theme (Applejack and the Apple family), and sometimes the name just sounds cool (Rarity) or ironic (Twilight Sparkle).

And, well, come on. Just tell me that "Red Rum", "Man o' War", or "Seabiscuit" (for example) would sound out-of-place as names for characters in the show.

There is magic to influence pony's names.
When a baby pony is born the parents have the option of using a magic spell to suggest a name (or if not an actual name some sort of theme) which will be indicative of who the pony will be when grown up. This spell could reveal something of their special talent, or what their destiny will be. For instance, if Twilight's parents used this spell then it would indicate that Shining Armor will have skill in protection, leading them to use the word "armor." Then when Twilight came along the spell would indicate that she would have something to do with uniting the day and night. This could be why Celestia pegged her as a possible Element Bearer.

This spell would be completely optional, and not used by everypony. Some, like the Apple Clan or the Cake famiy just prefer Theme Naming.

"Anybody" and "anypony" are both valid in speech.
Rainbow Dash says "and I couldn't risk a goody four-shoes like you giving that ticket away to just anybody!". Probably a slip of the tongue that was missed, but it's perfectly possible that anybody is correct with the presence of (or when talking about) characters like Spike, the sea serpent, the dragon in the mountain, Zecora, and Gilda. You know, not ponies. Hell, Rainbow Dash could've been accounting for the possibility that Twilight could give it to Spike.
 * Twilight specifically uses "anybody" in Over a Barrel when lamenting the feud between the ponies and buffalo, because neither of them will "be reasonable".

'Everfree' is a Pony euphemism for death.
Thus, the Everfree Forest is, in less gentle terms, the Forest of Death.
 * So when a pony dies, others would say they've been 'Everfreed'? Sounds a bit like a certain other euphemism from a popular book...

Supernaturals was originally written in Zebra, and was rather poorly translated into Pony.
Using the word supernatural to mean a super, natural medication is just a bit of a stretch. However, it's possible that Zebra uses the same words for nature and natural remedy. Thus, somepony at some point translated a book about traditional remedies from Zebra into Pony; unfortunately, this equine had a somewhat dodgy grasp of one of the languages, with the result that Super Natural Remedies became Supernaturals.

Zecora probably has a copy in the original Zebra as well, and presumably obtained a Pony copy in case she ever needed a pony to help her with some formulation.

Calling a pony "lame" is a mortal insult.
In Real Life, if a horse or pony becomes fully lame, it is often put down, as the horse is unlikely ever to be able to walk, let alone run or work, again. (This is less true in the modern day, but was very true in previous eras.) When Gilda calls the ponies of Ponyville "lame", she's saying that she thinks they're all worthless and hopes they all die. Gilda hates ponies.
 * Alternatively, hailing from a different culture, doesn't quite get the full implications of the insult.
 * Apple Bloom felt mortified when Sweetie Belle mentioned the idiom "Break a leg". So "lame" and similar connotations about the inability to walk under your own power might be more negative to ponyfolk.
 * And it's not the only topic like this, either. Consider now the term "horse's ass." Foals typically leave their mother's womb via the rear exit, so calling a pony a "horse's ass" could probably serve as a Your Mom slam. Unless, of course, said pony's birth is what made his mother into a Hot Mom. Then he might not mind so much.

The word "cutie" in "cutie mark" is a corruption of an archaic word for "talent".
Somepony, probably a literary great, made a pun and the term "cutie mark" stuck.

Ponies call their heaven "Elysium".
We now know that Tartarus is pony hell. Since Tartarus is hell in Greek mythology, and Elysium is heaven, calling their heaven Elysium would make sense.
 * Aside from how calling Tartarus "hell" and Elysium "heaven" is a gross oversimplification Twilight only stated that there were monsters imprisoned in Tartarus.
 * In historical Tartarus, Tartarus was the actually Greek equivalent of Hell - it not only housed all the evil monsters that were threats to the gods (much as Twilight mentions), but there was also a section as punishment for sinners, where the punishment justifies the crime.
 * The Greeks didn't have a concept of sin, just pissing off the Jerkass Gods.
 * Tartarus is Hell at least according to Neil Gaiman. (see page quote)

'Tartarus' is used as a curse word in Equestrian language.
Whether it be hell or not, it's very clear that all manner of bad things are in that place, so saying something like "Go to Tartarus!" would be quite harsh.

In the same vein, so is "blücher"
Even if it isn't actually the German word for "glue", it's mere mention will make any equine rear in terror.
 * This troper is now curious as to what curse word "blucher" would replace...

Similar to the above, "feather" is a lighter versions of a Precision F-Strike.
And since some bronies say "buck" to replace the f-word, perhaps "feather-bucking" or something could be legitimate curse. If "feather" is equivalent to a lighter curse word though, that makes Rainbow Dash calling Ditzy Doo a "featherbrain" quite harsh. And now I think an entire dictionary of Equestrian swear words should be made.

Most of the male ponies are drafted to Equestria Army.
This is the reason why there are so few male ponies.
 * The real question this raises is why is there a need for a draft? A secret war perhaps? But against who?
 * Stallion with a winged skull cutie mark and a high-peaked combination cap: We shall purge the Universe of the Foul Forces of Care-a-Lot! Glory to the First Stallion to Die! FOR THE PRINCESS!
 * Or, going with the After the End theory, the last surviving pockets of humans are putting up a resistance and need to be exterminated.
 * Also, it makes a great pun.
 * So what's Big Mac's excuse, discharge due to injury?
 * Exception due to being the sole male provider within the immediate family?
 * They're stationed at the border between Eqestria and the Griffon homeland; settlers ner the edge would otherwise get eaten.
 * Or, if they're more like IRL horses, mares tend to be leaders and stallions tend to do more of the fighting. Stallions that aren't strong enough to become herd stallions tend to join bachelor herds of other stallions & train to get stronger. Since bands of rowdy young males will cause trouble unsupervised, or go looking for adventure and chances to impress the fillies, over Equestria's history these male bands took over responsibility for defense of the kingdom, dealing with things like the Parasprite infestation in Phillydelphia and most of the monsters that show up on the show all the time, at least the ones that make trouble.
 * So there are two Equestrias: the 'civilian'/matriarchal Equestria shown in the show, which is the old, the young, mares and the few stallions able to avoid being kicked out by the other stallions as competition because they're strong (Big Macintosh) or really good at something (Mr. Cake), and the 'male' Equestria, a genderflipped Amazon Brigade focused on training (in civilian pursuits as well as combat), making it into Celestia's forces proper (fighting the good fight and impressing the fillies) and so on?
 * Definitely useful for something like this.

Horseshoes are used as throwing weapons.
Either nopony wears horseshoes anymore in lieu of advancement in footwear technology, or horseshoes are a (negative) status symbol used as punishment. Having permanent horseshoes implies one is being forced into labor to atone for a crime. Due to their aerodynamic nature, however, horseshoes are used as highly symbolic thrown weapons, perhaps associated with law enforcement or JUSTICE in general. This also elevates Applejack and Rainbow Dash's game of horseshoes into the pony equivalent of a knife-throwing contest.
 * Hmm. As shown in "Owl's Well That Ends Well" and "Look Before You Sleep", Twilight Sparkle does seem to keep one mounted over her mantel, the traditional place to display a firearm or other weapon, two mounted above her bed (for quick access in case she's woken by an intruder), as well as at least one, presumably more, cached away in various drawers where no one can see them; if you view them as weapons, that... doesn't actually seem out of character for Twilight.

Environmental management is Equestria's version of compulsory military service.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy's regular careers are in environmental management (weather maintenance and animal care respectively), but everyone else pitches in in Winter Wrap-Up. Rarity and Pinkie Pie have regular jobs, yet they switch straight into nest-making and ice-scoring on the designated day without a second thought for what else they'd be doing that day. It seems to be taken for granted that the whole town (and probably the whole country) steps away from their usual pursuits to handle Winter Wrap-Up (and probably a few other dates throughout the year), similar to the way that some countries require all citizens to perform a few weekends of military training per year.

Equestria is actually a highly militarized society, but they specialize more in non-lethal methods.
Despite Celestia practically being a living god, she has a very hooves-off approach to any dangers that affect the world, trusting the ponies themselves to deal with their own problems. The reason they can deal with a rampaging dragon, without resorting to the medieval method of just slaying it, is because they've been receiving covert training their entire lives. Training so covert, that even the trainers (read as, the adult ponies) don't even know they're giving it. Young ponies are encouraged to find their own special talent, whatever it may be, and once it's discovered, the Cutie Mark appears. This mark is both easy identification ("A rainbow lightning bolt. That's Rainbow Dash.", for example) and an easy way to tell just what the pony's talent is, ("She can fly very fast.") Part of the training is recognizing when a specific talent is needed. Combining the three, one can easily determine just who, and what, to look for to solve it. Part of this training is the focus on finding nonviolent, peaceful methods of resolving a problem; diversion, persuasion, compromise, sometimes intimidation, humiliation, and shame. With this training, and sort of military, in place, Equestria's means of defense is exactly where it belongs; in the hooves of the average pony, who, without knowing, have been conditioned and trained to know exactly who to go to and what to in the context of any given emergency.
 * Of course, this begs the question of Equestria's equivalent of Right Wing Militia Fanatics...

Offensive magic is forbidden from being taught in Equestria.
Twilight doesn't seem to do things like fling fireballs or ice beams at her enemies when it seems to be a good time to do so. Offensive magic is probably either banned or limited as a way of keeping peace.
 * Considering that Twilight caused quite a bit of trouble in Lesson Zero with just "regular" magic, that's probably a good idea.
 * Jossed as of A Canterlot Wedding - Twilight Sparkle definitely throws magic blasts around. Though that could of course be self-thought from some obscure books.
 * The same episode also has the brief Beam-O-War between Celestia and Chrysalis. More likely, most ponies just don't see much need for dedicated combat magic in their everyday lives -- earth ponies and pegasi can't learn it anyway and unicorns already have their always-handy telekinesis. Why waste time on spells that can only be used to hurt another living being if you're a civilian and that's not even your job?

The standard ranged weapon for Equestrian guards is the sling.
In "May The Best Pet Win!", Rainbow Dash mentions being as fast as a bullet. Assuming that this isn't just a throwaway gag line, this sounds like it implies guns... but may be talking about sling bullets instead. A sling would be much easier for an earth pony or pegasus to handle than a bow, after all.

The Gray Unicorn guards aren't part of the royal guard
Rather, they're Praetorians, of sorts. The other regiments are bodyguards for the princesses, but the unicorn guard are tasked with defending Canterlot exclusively and are the only military force allowed within its walls.

Guns are an Earth pony invention.
Rainbow Dash mentioned "faster than a bullet" and named her pet "tank," and Pinkie Pie does have a party cannon. Firearms are more or less canon (ha ha ha) in one form or another. However, we never saw one used at the Royal wedding (except, again, Pinkie's party cannon) even though we saw hundreds of spear wielding (and rather useless) guards. However, all those guards are unicorns. What use could a gun be to them or to Unicorns in general? They already can blast things at range with magic, the only weapon they need is a close range melee weapon. Pegasus don't logically need guns as much either, since they can easily go close to the speed of many bullets and could do a lot of damage just by ramming into some pony (Rainbow Dash was able to get up to Mach 5 before she burst through to a Sonic Rainboom). The only ponies in Equestria that really need guns are the down to Earth Ponies, with no ability to quickly get from one target to another or have no ranged attacks.