The Lion King/Funny

The Lion King
"Scar: Oh Zazu, do lighten up. Sing something with a little... bounce in it.
 * The part where Zazu starts off singing "Nobody Knows":

Zazu: It's a small world after all...

Scar: NO! No... Anything but that!"

""So I said, why doesn't he just hit him over the head?""
 * "What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?"
 * Aaaaaare ya achin'? Yup yup yup. Fooooor some bacon? Yup yup yup.
 * This scene had people falling out of their chairs during the premiere showing. It's one of the greatest CMOF in all animated movies.
 * Rafiki smacking Simba upside the head with his stick, - "OW! Jeez, what was that for?!" Even funnier after watching the DVD Commentary. That was just a Throw It In.

"Rafiki: Come here. *pulls Simba close to whisper in his ear* It's a secret.
 * Even better when Timon's Ma whacks Rafiki upside the head with his own staff.
 * Speaking of Rafiki:

[Beat]

Rafiki: (whispering and getting louder) Asante sana, squash banana! We we nugu! Mi mi apana!"

"Simba: (in the background) Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad...
 * And when asked what the song means, Rafiki says, "It means you are a baboon...and I'm not."
 * According to the commentary, after the "squash banana" part, he's correct.
 * "...Be prepared for sen-sa-tion-al news..."
 * "We could have whatever's...lion around!"
 * "Make mine a cub sandwich!"
 * "It's not funny, Ed." (bursts into hyena laughter)
 * The Three Hyenas piling up one after the other at the edge of a cliff, eventually pushing Banzai into a thorny bush.
 * "What, you want me to come out looking like you, cactus butt??"
 * Rafiki going kung fu on the hyenas could qualify both as this and a Moment of Awesome.
 * This easy-to-miss exchange:

Sarabi: (half asleep) Your son is awake.

Mufasa: (half asleep) Before sunrise, he's your son."

"Simba: Will you cut it out?
 * Another easy-to-miss one:

Rafiki: Can't cut it out, it will grow right back!"

"Zazu: I beg your pardon, madam, but... GET OFF!!"
 * Zazu getting crushed by a rhino at the end of "Just Can't Wait to Be King"

"Banzai: Yeah, be prepared! Heheh, we'll be prepared! Heh. ...For what?
 * "No king! No king! La la la﻿ la la la~!"
 * Just before that, this exchange:

Scar: For the death of the king!

Banzai: Why, is he sick?

Scar: (candidly) No, fool, we're gonna kill him, and Simba, too."

"Simba: Nala, I'd like you to meet Pumbaa. Pumbaa, Nala.
 * The entire song "Be Prepared" just crosses into all sorts of territory, from Nightmare Fuel to Crowning Moment of Funny to Crowning Music of Awesome and Crowning Moment of Awesome.
 * Timon's absolute confusion when Nala and Simba reunite. After they were at each other's throats. And after she tried to eat Pumbaa, who, after pleasantries, seems to have completely forgotten about it. Which only confuses Timon more!

Pumbaa: Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Nala: The pleasure's all mine!

Timon: How do you do.. Whoa! Whoa. Time out.. Lemme get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's... okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING?!"

"Banzai: Hey, did we order this dinner to go?
 * Also:

Shenzi: (expecting another pun) No, why?

Banzai: 'Cause there it goes!"

"Timon: When he was a young warthog...
 * This little aside from "Hakuna Matata":

Pumbaa: When I was a young WARTHOOOG...

Timon: Very nice.

Pumbaa: Thanks!"

"Banzai: Now that's power.
 * The Hilarious Outtakes made for the 3D version.
 * This exchange:

Shenzi: Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder.

Banzai: MUFASA!

Shenzi: Oooh. Do it again!

Banzai: MUFASA!

Shenzi: Ooh!

Banzai: MUFASA MUFASA MUFASA!

Ed: *cracks up laughing*

Shenzi: It tingles!

Scar: (massages his forehead softly) I'm Surrounded By Idiots."

"Zazu: Oh, NO! NOT THE BIRDY BOILER!"
 * And earlier in the film:

"Scar: Yes, well forgive me for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know.
 * Scar being Deadpan Snarker at his best to hide the fact he cannot stand Simba's enthusiasm for being destined to the throne.

Simba: Hey Uncle Scar, when I'm King, what'll that make you?

Scar: A monkey's uncle."

The Lion King 2
""Roasty toasty princess... roasty toasty princess... Hey, is it hot in here, or is that just me? Fire! Yowww!""
 * Nuka is always good for a laugh.

The Lion King 1 1/2
"Timon: Shenzi Marie, I know what you're thinking. We're too different. It'll never work. What will the children look like?"
 * Funny Moments: When Timon stalls Shenzi for time by proposing. The looks on the faces of Shenzi, Banzai and Ed, and especially Pumbaa, are unforgettable.

"Timon: (completely deadpan) You okay if we skip this bit?
 * The way he does it is pretty insulting too - "If not now, when? If not me, who?" For believers in the Shenzi/Banzai pairing, Banzai has a pretty smug look on his face the whole time.
 * Timon & Pumba's MST3King, particularly their reaction to the hula.

Pumba: (completely deadpan) Yes."

"Shenzi: Encore, encore!
 * The Retcon regarding why the animals bowed down to the newborn Simba.
 * "It's either that slug I ate, or I'm having an epiphany!"
 * "Everything the light touches...belongs to someone else!"
 * "That is not where I thought you were going with that."
 * "I think this storm's coming to a head."
 * "It's hard to think with all this music!"
 * The Hurricane of Puns the hyenas come up with. For example:

Banzai: You mean "entre, entre!""

"Timon's mom: "Something is different about Timon."
 * At one point Pumba, Simba, and Timon are shown sitting in a pool with bubbles to relax. Cue Pumba getting out of the pool and the bubbles stopping. Simba and Timon look at the pool in disgust and run out of the pool.
 * The part after the hula scene:

Uncle Max: "You think?(shouts) HE'S WEARING A DRESS!""

"Timon: "We're gonna get old walking across this thing.""
 * Simba is constantly waking Timon for various reasons, and what should make a return but the infamous log:

"Timon: "This could be our finest hour yet!""
 * Right before the infamous hula scene:

Stage musical
"Zazu: ...In this economy?!"
 * Before "I Just Can't Wait To Be King," Zazu says, "This wasn't in the cartoon!"
 * "Huh, it looks like an oversized shower curtain from Zellers ..."
 * In the 2011 Montreal performance of the show, Zazu switches 'It's a small world' for 'Vive L'Allouetes!'. It makes sense if you're from Montreal.
 * Additionally, Rafiki says 'Tu'as Compris?' at the end of one of her rants, and the subtitles on the screens to the side SHOW IT IN ENGLISH.
 * In the 2011 Las Vegas show, Zazu belts out another song that starts with a form of "Vive." Three guesses which.
 * Mufasa (seemingly) fires Zazu. The hornbill's response:

"Zazu: This is all your fault!"
 * The puppet then attacks its operator.

"Timon: What do you think those stars are?
 * From the 2010 Calgary performance:

Pumba: I think they're giant balls of gas floating millions of miles away from us

Timon: ...Everything comes back to gas for you, doesn't it?"