The Ship's Closet

"Welcome to the world's latest coming-out party."

The Ship's Closet is a vidcast on YouTube.

The premise of the show is "A Logical Discussion of Kirk/Spock". The host, Brittany Diamond, is the author of the well-known Analyzation/Commentary, an analysis of every episode of the series with Slash Goggles firmly in place, and the show is essentially an extension of the analyzation. Unlike most yaoi fangirls, however, Brittany makes a point of having evidence for every point she makes. Instead of saying, "How can you not see it!?!??!eleventyone!?!?!?!?!," she splices the relevant clips into her show and dissects motives, thought processes, and physical and verbal expressions. With training as an actress, she can also refer to the choices the actors must have made to produce those expressions and look at every scene with both a director's and actor's eyes.

However, she also makes point of having fun with it; it is not a dry clinical study but a celebration. Only this time, the celebration has solid proof behind it.

The first episode premiered on Kirk/Spock Day, September 15, 2009.


 * Catch Phrase:
 * "Yay 60s."
 * "Octoliebe!" - bastardization of 'Ach, du liebe!'
 * Chekhov's Gun:
 * Deadpan Snarker: Brittany herself.
 * "Not wanting the sky to be blue doesn't make it green."
 * [regarding the "eyesex" scene in 'Miri'] "Apparently, there's something on the ship that Spock wants to get back to, and it has something to do with Kirk. [in a tone drier than the Sahara] Why whatever could that thing be???"
 * "I've seen gay porn that wasn't this queer!!"
 * Everyone Can See It: ...but apparently some need to have it pointed out to them. Hence, the show's existence.
 * Fan Nickname:
 * Captain Sexy Pants: Kirk
 * The BAMF Trio: Kirk, Spock, and McCoy
 * Brittany herself is commonly referred to as "Captain" by her fans.
 * Held Gaze: "This, ladies and gentlemen, is eyesex. Unmistakable, blatant eyesex. That Kirk is reciprocating." -- On the 'eyesex scene' in "Miri"
 * Ho Yay: The focus of the show. And oh boy, is there ever. Gene Roddenberry said so.
 * Instrumental Theme Tune: The opening credits are set to the instrumental opener of Muse's "Starlight". After her return from the show's hiatus, she introduced a new credits sequence set to "Supermassive Black Hole" by the same band.
 * The Nicknamer: Brittany again. Witness - Boris and Natasha (the guys with the bells in Amok Time). The Snarky Metal Vagina of Time Travel (The Guardian of Forever). The Angry Icicle Condom of Fire (the planet-killer in that one episode). The... I'll just stop now, shall I?
 * No Bisexuals: Starkly averted. She makes a point of stressing that, yes, Kirk and Spock have been legitimately attracted to women in the past, ergo, they're not gay, they're bisexual. The bisexuals among her audience proceeded to cheer loudly.
 * "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: She uses one whenever Kirk and Spock do something particularly slashy.
 * Once an Episode: She closes every show with a "Yay 60s!" segment, which is a particularly spectacular Special Effect Failure.
 * Otaku Surrogate: Also Brittany.
 * Squee: "...and then I have to get a mop because there's squee all over my frickin' floor." ~Brittany regarding 'The Sickbay Scene'
 * Series Hiatus: The show went on one starting in January 2010, most likely due to The Captain serving as... well... The Captain of the USS Spirk team in LiveJournal's Ship Wars. She finally returned on 16 February 2011 in audio-only format, due to Real Life eating her camera. TSC returned in full on 24 November 2011.
 * Shipper on Deck: Brittany makes an excellent case for McCoy being one for Kirk and Spock.
 * Shout-Out: The name of the webcast comes from The Celluloid Closet.
 * OK, so let me get this gay.
 * Captain Sexypants
 * Tempting Fate: In the 'Amok Time' special. "...fortunately I've been a part of the Kirk/Spock fandom for awhile now, and I can handle anything they throw my way." Cue epic, epic Spit Take.
 * This Is Sparta: On the conclusion of her "Amok Time" commentary - "GAYNESS ITSELF IS NOT. THIS. GAY!"
 * Yaoi Fangirl: Some, but certainly not all, of the show's fans.