Superbad/WMG

Seth is gay.
Nearly half of all his dialogue is "Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?" and is insanely jealous when Evan spends time with anyone other than him. And then when he carries him home... "Evan: I mean, it's not like we do everything together. Seth: I gotta take a piss. Come on Evan, my dick isn't gonna shake itself!"
 * Futhermore, Evan is aware of Seth's repressed sexuality, which is why he's so eager to go to college with Fogell instead.
 * And the dicks.
 * Also, in the unrated version, we have this line:


 * The "ten percent of kids do it" line about obsessively drawing penises sounds remarkably similar to the rumor that 10% of people are gay.

The cops are Seth and Evan from the future.
They've come into the past to help guide the three main characters in a coming of age story, as well as helping to strengthen Seth and Evan's friendship (particularly notable when they forces Seth and Evan to hold hands).

<|Wild Mass Guessing|>