Suburban Knights/Characters

A list of characters from the That Guy With the Glasses anniversary special Suburban Knights.

The Nostalgia Critic as Link
"Played by: Doug Walker"


 * Bad Boss: He starts off like this to everyone but he's nicer when he's with his team. But his treating Ma-Ti badly comes back to bite him in the ass. Hard.
 * Becoming the Mask: After spending ages actively averting it, when he's had enough of everything he rants about all the crap that's happened to Link. Although, ranting about his life as the Critic would probably take up an episode of its own.
 * Also done at the end in a sadder way with, he throws away his tie when he's rushing over and   knocks his glasses off. Those were the last two "Critic" identifiers left.
 * Break the Haughty: Done nicer than in Kickassia (he does get to be a good guy instead of just being willing to commit murder-suicide) but he still gets punished for being greedy. And with his reaction to Ma-Ti's, it overlaps with Break the Cutie.
 * Call Back: He reviewed The Legend of Zelda cartoon in an earlier review.
 * Character Development: From being a greedy asshole to a capable leader who can boost morale with a Rousing Speech. Not only that, but he keeps himself relatively stable compared to how he was in Kickassia. At the end, he even considers going on another quest to . He also seems to have gotten his greed under control as he decides to hide the Gauntlet rather than profit from it after seeing the magic it uses is real.
 * Cool Sword: The Master Sword, in fact... which unceremoniously (and unexpectedly) breaks in part 6.
 * Despair Event Horizon: Starts ranting about in-character woes when he grows sick of all the magic he's encountering.
 * Until Linkara gives him the idea of another quest, he really doesn't take one of his comrades well.
 * The Ditz: Although he gets some intelligence back in part five.
 * Face Death With Dignity: Maybe he was Genre Savvy to know he'd get saved, but he looked surprisingly okay with things when was about to kill him both times.
 * Flat Earth Atheist: He refuses to believe in magic after meeting a lightning-spewing witch, but he still thinks a broken chain letter will bring bad luck.
 * Genre Savvy: He's aware of his Bad Boss tendencies in a crossover, and seems to be more receptive to other people's ideas and regrets having said Well Excuse Me Princess to Lupa.
 * Hypocritical Humour: The Critic complains bitterly about the frequent spelling errors in the map. Note that Doug has, in the past, spelt "Nostalgia Critic" incorrectly in his reviews and manages to mess up the spelling in the credits of Suburban Knights.
 * I See London
 * Innocent Fanservice Boy: Until it was pointed out to him, he had no idea that he was wearing such a... revealing costume.
 * Reluctant Fanservice Boy: According to Iron Liz, Doug requested strongly on the first day that nobody look up his skirt. But due to wind and an apparently ungainly falling over, everyone did.
 * Jerk With a Heart of Gold: Film Brain, Ma-Ti and (to a lesser extent) 8-Bit Mickey get treated badly, but he listens to his team, sulkingly accepts the "lady lessons" Lupa teaches him and worries about the others when he realizes that the Big Bad is tracking them.
 * Man in A Kilt: Yes, one more skirt trope.
 * Mr. Vice Guy: Oblivious, greedy, bitchy, bratty as hell... but still sympathetic and ultimately a good man.
 * Nice Hat: Link's hat in place of his regular cap.
 * Papa Wolf: After seeing, he looks back at his team and is the first to confront him. It doesn't work, but it's the thought that counts.
 * Real Men Wear Pink: He claims that his outfit is "a manly costume."
 * Screams Like a Little Girl: Repeatedly, once the Witch shows her Red Eyes Take Warning. Iron Liz and Linkara's commentary says that they were on the other end of the trail about half a mile away and could still hear him doing it.
 * Stripperiffic: That skirt is mini and the boots are short for no reason. Well, maybe one or two reasons...
 * According to the commentary, Doug was both freezing and sunburned everywhere. So it wasn't practical in real life either.
 * Throw the Dog A Bone: After his Despair Event Horizon, he gets to have a Eureka Moment about the map and then he's one of the happiest to see.
 * Well Intentioned Extremist:
 * Well Excuse Me Princess: Says this to Lupa, then promptly tells the party to never let him say it again.

The Nostalgia Chick as Arwen
"Played by: Lindsay Ellis"


 * Bishie Sparkle: More like Bishie White Flash.
 * Call Back; In her Top 11 Embarrassing and Nostalgic Dance Crazes video, she puts The Macarena in Number 1.
 * Confusion Fu: Her weaponized montages are this; she circles the enemy, waving her arms and babbling to sufficiently confuse them before punching them in the face. Lampshaded by Todd and Bennet.
 * Bilingual Bonus: In part one, the Chick says a line in gaelic- "pog ma thoin" (kiss my ass) which is translated as "it's cool".
 * Dull Surprise: It's especially obvious during the scenes in Doug's house and the elf montage sections (though the former was justified by Lindsay, as she felt the Chick would not care about the whole "being duped again" and be bored).
 * In the elf scenes, it's worth noting that the character she's playing was also noted for this, so it could be intentional.
 * Dyeing for Your Art: The wedding dress she had on was really restrictive, and she had to sit down a couple of times because she had trouble breathing.
 * Fun With Subtitles
 * Gratuitous Elvish
 * As Long As It Sounds Foreign: It's not actual Elvish, but a mixture of Hindi, Irish, song lyrics, complete gibberish, complaining about her tight her dress is, quoting Lady Gaga lyrics and an odd choking sound.
 * Innocent Fanservice Girl: In her first close-up inside Doug's house (before they all dress up), she showcases quite some cleavage, which Lindsay said to not have noticed before watching.
 * Must Have Caffeine: In all the pre-Arwen scenes, she's drinking coffee.
 * The Stoic: Most of the time she's not really bothered by anything.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: With the Critic. Although they're still snarky and Ship Tease-y, they're a lot less belligerent than they have been before.
 * Waxing Lyrical: While doing her "Arwen Montage" and speaking elvish, she inserts the line, "Chickity China/The Chinese Chicken/Have a drumstick/And your brain stops tickin'."
 * Her montage against the Big Bad includes lyrics from "Bad Romance".
 * Woman in White: Which was an adaptation of a Fairytale Wedding Dress.

Linkara as King Arthur, as played by Sir Richard Harris
"Played by: Lewis Lovhaug"


 * Badass Beard: Though he runs out of Sharpie after his first appearance.
 * In the commentary, Doug intended for Linkara's make-up pen beard to last for the entire movie. Linkara was against it, due to both Harris' beard not being black in the movie, and the fact that he would have black smudges on his face on the crossover videos.
 * The Cast Showoff: Once again demonstrates his rather nice singing voice, but he keeps getting interrupted by the others in his group. He finally gets to sing a complete number at the end of Part 7.
 * Chekhov's Gunman: His persistence of a song
 * Chest Insignia: The costume bears the Atop the Fourth Wall hat-brick-fire logo.
 * Combat Pragmatist: After fighting the Guardians for a while with his sword, he exclaims "Screw this!" and pulls out his gun.
 * The Glasses Come Off: Doesn't wear them when in costume.
 * That Reminds Me of a Song: To the annoyance of everyone else.
 * The Unexpected: Much like Tom, his costume was up for debate and being King Arthur from a musical was never considered. However, this could also be considered a Call Back to his review of Power Rangers Zeo #1, wherein he states that Camelot is his "favorite movie & musical EVER!"

Phelous as Rockbiter
"Played by: Phelan Porteous"


 * Ax Crazy: Believes his figurines are alive. 8-bit Mickey thinks he's a little too into character.
 * In Part 2 Mickey questions his belief that his "friends" are real... to which Phelous replies, "They're more real than you are!"
 * In Part 3 he talks to his "little friends" about killing Bennett... in front of Bennett.
 * Becoming the Mask: To a far greater extent than the others. He truly believes that he's the Rockbiter and that his action figures are alive.
 * Character Development: From Kickassia. He went from gleefully strangling the Critic and telling the others to "have fun" as return for all the idea-stealing, to coming out of a funk to protect him and calls him a friend.
 * Companion Cube: He starts treating a pair of action figures as being alive as soon as he puts on the costume.
 * Consulting Mr. Puppet: His "little friends."
 * Heroic BSOD: "They look like big, good, strong hands, don't they?"
 * I Am Not Shazam: An error in the credits list him as "Phelous Porteous".
 * In the Hood
 * This Is Gonna Suck: When the Big Bad walks off an exploding car crash.
 * Unfortunate Character Design: "You look like a steroid elephant turd."
 * Unfortunate Character Design: "You look like a steroid elephant turd."

Benzaie as Conan the Barbarian
"Played by: Benjamin Daniel"


 * By the Power of Grayskull: Attempted; when his sword gets hit by lightning and starts glowing, he shouts "I have the power!"... before the thing "blows up" in sparks.
 * Call Back: In a previous video, he claimed that Conan was his favorite film of the 1980s.
 * Cool Sword
 * Dyeing for Your Art / Exposed to The Elements: He makes it clear throughout his vlog that it's cold, and he has to play his role shirtless!
 * Fake Nationality: "He's a Frenchman pretending to be an Austrian! That will confuse the enemies!"
 * Prop Recycling: Since he forgot his wig in France, Doug loaned him the one he uses for Douchey McNitpick.
 * Rage Against the Heavens: When Crom doesn't help in his hour of need.
 * Stealth Pun: Unintentional -- he was supposed to say "Crom" when he makes his entrance, but Benzaie said "Come". This fits however with Nostalgia Critic's review of the Conan movies, where he includes a clip of Arnold comparing working out to "cumming".
 * Stripperiffic
 * Walking Shirtless Scene: He was going to have a latex chest, but found he couldn't easily move in it.

Obscurus Lupa as Snow White
"Played by: Allison Pregler"

"Lupa: I'm just gonna hang back here and be enchanted and shit.'''"
 * Action Girl: During the battle with group.
 * Badass Princess
 * Hot Amazon: Angry Joe seems to approve of this side of her.
 * Beware the Nice Ones: She stays in character most of the time, but gets scary once she's pissed off.
 * Blithe Spirit: At least when in-character.


 * The Chick
 * Contractual Genre Blindness: Argues that due to her choice of character, she is required to be useless in battle.
 * Dude Magnet: We can add Sage, Joe and Critic to the list of guys who are attracted to her.
 * Dude She's Like in A Coma: Sage and Critic fight over who gets to pull this on her, but she wakes up before they can.
 * Everythings Better With Princesses: Subverted. The Critic calls Lupa out on her fainting, but she justifies it because of her princess role.
 * Fainting: Does so in battle.
 * Fiery Redhead: "YOU'RE GONNA BE A LADY AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!!" (flawless smile)
 * Hell Bent for Leather: Wears a black leather jacket after really getting into the action in the final battle. For Lupa herself, it was a practical move given the heavy wind.
 * Let's Get Dangerous: In the battle against.
 * Masculine Girl Feminine Boy: With the Critic when she's not being princess-y. Eventually, he's learned his "bending like a lady" lesson while she's most happy with a gun.
 * Necktie Leash: Pulls this on the Critic a couple of times.
 * Redheaded Hero: When she undergoes Let's Get Dangerous, at least.
 * Tsundere: Type B. She's trying so very hard to be delicate and princess-like, but The Critic's brattiness isn't exactly easy to put up with.
 * The Unexpected: Given Lupa's love of ass kicking females like Cynthia Rothrock, it seems odd that she would go with the Disney Princess costume.
 * The Unexpected: Given Lupa's love of ass kicking females like Cynthia Rothrock, it seems odd that she would go with the Disney Princess costume.

Bennett the Sage as Aslan
"Played by: Bennett White"


 * Ice Cream Koan: He makes them by randomly switching words around.
 * Irony: The man who can make Ask That Guy a crying heap in the corner is playing a Jesus-like character.
 * My Name Is Not Durwood: He is not the Cowardly Lion.
 * Panthera Awesome: While his costume is somewhat lackluster compared to the others', he is able to get in a few punches during the fight scenes and can make a very epic roar.
 * Unfortunate Character Design: His costume is laughably humiliating.
 * According to Iron Liz on Linkara's commentary, the tail (which eventually fell off because Bennett stepped on it) was even worse, since it's positioning at the bottom of the suit rather than at the tailbone made it look like a penis.

Handsome Tom as Willow
"Played by: Thomas Hanley"


 * A Day in The Limelight: In Part 4 he defeats a witch by pepper-spraying her in the face as she rains down lightning bolts.
 * Demoted to Extra: He's had three lines, one spoken three times, in six episodes.
 * In the commentary, other cast members said he was to have gotten a slightly bigger role, but he begged off, saying "I'm just here to have fun" and doesn't think he's an especially good actor.
 * Fastball Special: Attempts to throw Mickey into battle. Emphasis on "attempts".
 * Gentle Giant
 * Hair Flip
 * Lampshade Hanging: His "I'm Willow" lampshades the fact that most viewers probably aren't familiar with the film.
 * Or that those who are familiar with it wouldn't expect him to be well over six feet tall.
 * Nerves of Steel: When everyone else is freaking out about he Witch, he calmly walks up and pepper sprays her.
 * Precision F Strike: When the Critic reveals that they've been following a chain letter, he simply says "You fucker".
 * Throw It In: The second attempt to perform a Fastball Special with Mickey was actually a blooper where Tom dropped Mickey on his face. A dubbed in line of dialog allowed it to be added to the finished product.
 * The Quiet One
 * Running Gag: "I'm Willow." (in a video, he even lampshades saying "Basically my only line in this is 'I'm Willow'")
 * The Unexpected: In-universe and out. No fan even knew who he was, and the team didn't realize who he was until he told them. Mainly because Willow is played by a little person while Tom is incredibly tall.

8-Bit Mickey as Peter Pan
"Played by: Michael Paradis"

"Lupa: [addressing The Critic] Listen here, you skirted little green fairy!
 * Ascended Extra / He Really Can Act: This movie gives him so many more lines, and showcases the emotions he goes through, than in Kickassia. His My Friends and Zoidberg running jokes from the two first specials is all but forgotten.
 * Berserk Button: Don't point out how similar (i.e. short) he is to Peter Pan or comment on him never growing up.
 * Butt Monkey: In order to get rid of him, The Critic tells Mai-Ti that Mickey has erectile dysfunction and can only get off to goats.
 * Don't Explain the Joke:

Mickey: It's funny because she isn't talking about me."

"Mickey: The current time is 3:55. Thank you for flying Painful Airlines. *thud*"
 * Fastball Special: Tries to have Tom use him for this. It fails miserably.
 * Non Action Guy: So much that after flying around the villain, he says "That's all I got". (though he tries to fight Jaffer's team with a dagger, but the Critic is forced to "borrow" it...)
 * Non Sequitur Thud: After the attempted Fastball Special with Tom.

"Played by:"


 * Are You Done Yet: Seems to be thinking this at one point while fighting, as he simply stands unmoving in one spot blocking multiple attacks with his sheath while looking bored.
 * Badass Cape
 * Cool Mask
 * Defeat Means Friendship: Played for laughs.
 * Dual Wielding/Sheath Strike
 * Justified - the katana used was actually real and he had to be careful not to accidentally cut anyone with it.
 * Eleventh Hour Ranger: Joins the team just in time to take part in the battle for Malachite's Hand.
 * Friendly Enemy: Despite being there to stop them from finding Malachite's Hand, he essentially lets the Critic defeat him with a Finger Poke of Doom before joining the team on their quest.
 * Katanas Are Just Better
 * Lying Creator:
 * Malevolent Masked Man: Subverted.
 * Punch Clock Villain: The actual obstacle got a desk job, he's filling in for him.
 * Reverse Mole: Unintentional yet effective example. By getting a job with the obstacles, he was in the position to betray their best-kept secret to the heroes when no one else would.
 * Sir Not Appearing in This Trailer: Averted. He did the voice-over at the beginning and there was a quick close up of him being masked.
 * Sixth.. .erm, Nineteenth Ranger
 * That Makes Me Feel Angry: In Part 6 he calmly walks to the witch while she's shooting lightning everywhere, quietly tells her "I find that very vexing", and then punches her out.
 * The Unexpected: Not his costume, him in general.
 * That Makes Me Feel Angry: In Part 6 he calmly walks to the witch while she's shooting lightning everywhere, quietly tells her "I find that very vexing", and then punches her out.
 * The Unexpected: Not his costume, him in general.

The Spoony One as Gandalf
"Played by: Noah Antwiler"


 * Big Damn Heroes: Leads Group Two into doing this when Group One and are fighting, turning a deadlocked battle into victory for the reviewers.
 * Call Back/Continuity Nod: He previously appeared as the character in his Ultima 1 review, and his instructing of the Cloaks is a reference to his past work as a dungeon master.
 * Dodgy Toupee: In the commentary, he expresses much hatred for his wig/beard - specially as the indoor scenes had him inside a hot house under hot lights wearing "ten pounds of fucking hair".
 * Large Ham
 * Made of Iron: He has to be if he can survive !
 * My Name Is Not Durwood: The Critic briefly refers to him as Dumbledore.
 * Nice Hat: Which keeps falling off and being retrieved.
 * Non Sequitur Thud: After crashing into the Big Bad.
 * Real Men Wear Pink: Gandalf is keeper of the Red Ring of Anor. Spoony wears a pink Star Sapphire ring.
 * Red Herring: An unintentional one, but because the illustration of the gauntlet's origin had Aeon wearing a pink ring, viewers thought that it was Spoony's. According to Spoony this was completely unintentional and he wishes he hadn't worn the ring because of this.
 * Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: He says all his lines Tolkien style, forcing Todd to translate.
 * Simple Staff
 * Throw It In: According to his commentary, the Running Gag with his hat falling off was not planned.
 * Wrong Genre Savvy: He tries to apply Dungeons and Dragons and LARPing rules to get the Cloaks out of the way... and they don't comply to his attempt. Neither does the Big Bad.
 * You Shall Not Pass: Tries this with The Cloaks. Subverted in that he only gets his hat shot off for his troubles, and they do end up passing him.

The Cinema Snob as Indiana Jones
"Played by: Brad Jones"


 * Call Back/Stealth Pun: His intro illustration shows him holding a Crystal Pepsi.
 * The Cast Showoff: Rob and Doug chose the role because Brad kept on imitating Indy during filming of both the Leprechaun crossover and Kickassia
 * The Charmer: Effortlessly talks a random person into letting a group of 9 oddly dressed strangers into her house, even after Joe messed things up first.
 * The Danza/Stealth Pun: His real name's Brad Jones.
 * In the commentary, it's revealed he rode the train to Chicago in costume, and arrived at the hotel asking "You have a reservation for Jones?" (and apparently the clerk didn't phaze a bit!)
 * Don't Make Me Take My Belt Off: Airport security forced him to adopt this as opposed to the expected Whip It Good.
 * Which is hilarious when you learn that he actually arrived for the shoot by train.
 * Doubly hilarious when one recalls that he hates flying.
 * Nice Hat: Indie's trademark hat.
 * Screw This I'm Outta Here:
 * Theme Music Power Up: An 8-bit version of... the "Raider's March", of course.
 * Brad said it is his cellphone ringtone, and even speculated that if it rung on the train (where he was in full costume), people would think "That's the biggest Indiana Jones fan ever!".
 * The Unexpected: The Critic questions his choice, but he asserts that surviving a nuclear explosion in a refrigerator counts as fantasy.

Angry Joe as Inigo Montoya
"Played by: Joe Vargas"


 * Anachronism Stew: Is playing Inigo Montoya... yet he still has his gun.
 * Badass Boast: "King Kong ain't got nothing on me!"
 * Badass Spaniard
 * Hammerspace: Where he keeps his guns.
 * Leitmotif: A Spanish guitar can be heard whenever he speaks his signature line.
 * Malaproper: He keeps getting part of his own line wrong.
 * In the final part, he screws up another (a Throw It In by Joe, as he was supposed to say it right).
 * More Dakka: Twice he pulls his machine gun (though once, because the other side was also using it, and another for the sake of it).
 * Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: He appears to be going in and out of Mandy Patinkin's accent from The Princess Bride, most likely for comic effect.
 * Quote Swear Unquote: "My name is Inigo Montoya, motherfukers!"
 * Running Gag: He keeps screwing up which relative died in the You Killed My Father line. The one time he gets that part right, he screws up the My Name Is Inigo Montoya part. The commentaries reveal that he was supposed to get the last one right but accidentally messed it up and they kept it anyway.
 * Trigger Happy: Joe is very, very happy when he realizes he can use his machine gun.

Marz Gurl as San
"Played by: Kaylyn Dicksion"


 * Action Girl: She can wield a mean spear.
 * Blade On a Stick
 * The Cast Showoff: Only speaks in fluent Japanese after donning her costume.
 * Clothes Make the Superman: Seems to have gained an enhanced sense of smell after donning her costume.
 * Cowboy Bebop At His Computer: Her name should be "San", not "Princess Mononoke". As mentioned below, Marzgurl is fully aware of this.
 * Did You Think I Can't Feel: Her response to "Yeah, your mother was a bitch and your mother was a bull! Guess it makes you a bullshitzu!" is "I have feelings, too!"
 * Dyeing for Your Art: She cut her hair (and was not happy about doing so!) and made the costume herself (Doug even offered her to play Kiki instead, but she said "No way! I want to do this the hard way and make the HARD costume!").
 * Facial Markings
 * Gratuitous Japanese: Which is actually genuine!
 * I Am Not Shazam: She refers to herself as "Princess Mononoke." Doug, who isn't a huge anime fan, wrote the script and she barely had enough time to convert her dialogue to Japanese, preventing her from correcting this error.
 * Raised By Wolves
 * Silence You Fool: Shouts it to stop Film Brain and Luke's argument. In Japanese, of course.
 * "Urusai!"
 * Smurfette Principle: At least within Group 2.

Film Brain as Harry Potter
"Played by: Mathew Buck"

"Cloak #1: Oh, look, a butterfly.
 * Actor Shared Background: Points out that he's actually of the same nationality as Harry Potter, unlike Luke.
 * Always Someone Better: Luke is this as far as he's concerned.
 * Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny

Film Brain: WHERE?!"


 * Butt Monkey: Though to a lesser degree than Ma-Ti.
 * Crazy Jealous Guy: Toward the Nostalgia Critic.
 * Hidden Depths: He tried to add a darker side to the overtly happy character, by having fights with Luke and such.
 * Keet
 * The Load:
 * The Pollyanna/Slasher Smile: He's always with a smile in his face. Which can be rather unnerving when he's obviously angry.
 * Screams Like a Little Girl
 * Yandere: As he sees Luke with The Critic.
 * The Pollyanna/Slasher Smile: He's always with a smile in his face. Which can be rather unnerving when he's obviously angry.
 * Screams Like a Little Girl
 * Yandere: As he sees Luke with The Critic.

Luke Mochrie also as Harry Potter
"Played by: Luke Mochrie"

"Film Brain: [Being Canadian]'s as British as being Turkish, you tit!
 * Canada Eh/Fake Nationality: He's a Canadian playing a Brit. Luke doesn't see the difference, but Film Brain...

Luke: What are you talking aboot?

Film Brain: It's "about," you twat!"

"Film Brain: Well now I would!"
 * Costume Copycat: Debatable. If you look closely, Film Brain wears the costume seen in the first two films, Luke wears the uniform from the remaining films.
 * Professional Butt Kisser
 * The Rival: For Film Brain.
 * You Would Do the Same For Me: Says this after saving Film Brain, marking the point where their relationship starts to thaw.

JewWario as Jareth
"Played by: Justin Carmical"


 * Blinded By the Light: He inflicts this on the enemy by unzipping.
 * Call Back/Continuity Nod: He previously appeared as the character in his Labyrinth review and in his own WA☆RI☆ON story line. And of course, The Nostalgia Chick's review on the movie, as the female reaction shows.
 * Clothes Make the Superman: Merely wearing the Jareth costume causes the ladies of TGWTG to fawn over him.
 * Distracted By the Shiny: His main use of his Fushigi Ball.
 * Mr. Fanservice: Complete with The Codpiece.
 * Facial Markings: Has Jareth's eye-makeup on in costume.
 * Gag Penis: With magical powers to
 * Hot Dad: He's the oldest of the Suburban Knights cast, but dressing up as Jareth still turns him into a Chick Magnet.
 * I Am Not Leonard Nimoy: He is referred to as "David Bowie from Labyrinth" as opposed to simply "Jareth."
 * Nice Guy: Even though he does have some fun acting flirty and just a touch raunchy as Jareth, it's still Jew Wario. In the special he really goes out of his way in giving more kindness than he deserves.
 * Non Action Guy: Despite his lack of direct attacks, he makes for one hell of a "debuffer".

Paw Dugan as Profion
"Played by: Paul Schuler"


 * Anachronism Stew: Despite portraying a character from a medieval setting, he still retains his iconic headphones.
 * Ascended Extra: Technically not an extra, but he arguably had the smallest part in Kickassia. Here, he gets plenty of opportunities to ham it up.
 * Batter Up: He does so with a tree branch to
 * Becoming the Mask: Not quite at the level of Phelous, but does seem to be rather concerned with gaining everybody's rage. Including that of the trees.
 * Call Back: Obviously to the "Dungeons and Dragons" reviews on the site.
 * Evil Is Hammy: Normally Paw would be the more mellow of the reviewers, but he dishes out the ham like no other when in costume.
 * I Am Not Leonard Nimoy: Luke calls him "Jeremy Irons" rather than the character's name. Averted when Paw himself says "Home run for Profion!"
 * I Know Mortal Kombat/Batter Up: Uses his staff to perform a "home run" on the Voice of the Ancients.
 * Large Ham: Seems to trying to one-up Jeremy Irons' hamminess in his take on the role.
 * Simple Staff: It's actually just a tree branch.
 * Verbal Tic: Tends to end his sentences with "AHHTSTSTSTS."
 * What Could Have Been: He was initially planned to be Jareth instead of Jew Wario.

Todd in The Shadows as The Dread Pirate Roberts
"Played by: Todd Nathanson"

"Nostalgia Critic: We'd like to thank Todd for handling the cremation, even though I don't think any of us want to know how, or why he did it.
 * Blind Mistake: A common result of his mask.
 * Cool Mask: Which somewhat restricts his vision during the fight scene.
 * Dark Is Not Evil: Just as how it was in the original Princess Bride.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Like most of the cast, but he's pretty much the Only Sane Man on his team.
 * Playing With Fire/Pyromaniac: Was the one who dealt with the cremation.

Todd: *holding a lighter* Yeah, it's probably best you don't ask."

"Todd: I barely know these guys, I just do music reviews! I don't even like these people!"
 * Recognition Failure: At first, he thinks the cast didn't know who he was dressed as (even though they have an Inigo Montoya). Then he notices that they aren't recognizing Todd. Presumably the hoodie was his sole identifying mark to them.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: Apparently with the entire cast. When the Cloaks attack, he tells them to stop because:

"Played by: Orlando Belisle Jr."


 * Badass
 * Badass Longcoat: He might be evil, but he's got a kick ass coat- long, leather, and still manages to flap in the wind.
 * Berserk Button: His hatred of technology and all those who use and depend on it.
 * Big Bad
 * Black Eyes of Evil
 * : A follow-up vid reveals.
 * Bullet Catch: Done with Linkara's gun.
 * Cast From Hit Points: Magic drains his life force. He starts feeling the effects in Part 5.
 * The Cast Showoff: Orlando Belisle, Jr. is an accomplished martial artist and is able to showcase a lot of his moves in Part 7.
 * Catch Phrase: "What do you think of the 21st century?" Usually said whenever he's talking to someone who refuses to stop using their technological gadgetry.
 * The Chessmaster: Malachite set everything in the story into motion and everyone dances to his tune.
 * Cool Shades
 * Scary Shiny Glasses: Which the cast note in the commentary for the special, often shows the reflection of the cameraman in front of him.
 * Sinister Shades
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Does this to both and the TGWTG crew. Of course, they're a bunch of geeks with barely a real weapon between them and he's an immortal Magic Knight.
 * Establishing Character Moment: He is walking in an open field and tries to hitch-hike. He is picked up by a very flighty, materialistic guy, which prompts him to complain about the effects of this century's modern technology on humanity, and eventually kills him with supernatural powers.
 * Evil Luddite: Given his backstory, it's no wonder he loathes all technology.
 * Evil Mentor:
 * Hell Bent for Leather
 * Hey Its That Guy: He played Roger in the Rotten Dirty Bastard special.
 * Hidden Agenda Villain: For most of the story it's hard to tell just what his deal is, killing two people for relying on technology and walking around with an evil Leitmotif, but then helping Group 2 by returning their map.
 * Home Run Hitter: A Megaton Punch throws away, and a finger flick turns Spoony into A Twinkle in The Sky.
 * Hypocrite:
 * It's implied that
 * Implacable Man: A car hits him and explodes as he crosses the street. It blows up and he continues on normally.
 * Knight of Cerebus: Any time he's onscreen, things get grim.
 * Ludd Was Right: His perspective is shown to lie here from the very beginning.
 * Meaningful Name: His name is a reference to a
 * Mundane Utility: Occasionally uses his incredible, earth shattering magic powers to do things like... pick up his fallen hat.
 * Nice Hat: He sports a sweet fedora..
 * Nietzsche Wannabe
 * Offscreen Teleportation
 * Really Seven Hundred Years Old
 * Scary Black Man
 * Simple Staff
 * Spell My Name With an S: The special shows his name as both in the actor credit and  elsewhere. Given Doug's propensity for misspelling words, it is unknown at this point which is the correct spelling (though probably "Malachite", which is an actual word and makes it a Meaningful Name.
 * Spin to Deflect Stuff: Done with the bullets shot by Joe and Lupa's machine guns.
 * The Stoic
 * Would Hit a Girl: He's an equal opportunity bad guy. Though in Nostalgia Chick's case he allows a switch for a stunt double, Nella.
 * : After he's  he's forced to smile for the customers, but is only capable of giving one of these.
 * You Keep Using That Word: He apparently doesn't understand what a word "hypocrite" really means.
 * Would Hit a Girl: He's an equal opportunity bad guy. Though in Nostalgia Chick's case he allows a switch for a stunt double, Nella.
 * : After he's  he's forced to smile for the customers, but is only capable of giving one of these.
 * You Keep Using That Word: He apparently doesn't understand what a word "hypocrite" really means.

Chuck Jaffers
"Played by: Rob Walker"


 * Go Mad From the Revelation: He was heard raving about Malachite's Hand in the days leading up to his disappearance.
 * Hollywood Nerd
 * New Age Retro Hippie
 * Posthumous Character: Presumably; he's been missing for just over 30 years before the special began.
 * Shadow Archetype: Personality-wise, he's Critic without the likability.
 * What Happened to The Mouse:
 * Also, note that
 * New Age Retro Hippie
 * Posthumous Character: Presumably; he's been missing for just over 30 years before the special began.
 * Shadow Archetype: Personality-wise, he's Critic without the likability.
 * What Happened to The Mouse:
 * Also, note that
 * What Happened to The Mouse:
 * Also, note that

as The Cloaks
"Cloak 1: Unleash the fire of a thousand arrows!
 * Anachronism Stew:

Cloak 3: You mean the machine gun?

Cloak 1: [Beat] Yes."

"Cloak 3: Don't use the magic. You know what it does to you! And besides, you're a lousy shot."
 * Black Cloak
 * Cast From Hit Points: Magic drains life energy, causing Cloak 1 to start panting after several lightning balls.

"Cloak 1: Look into my eyes!
 * Cool Sword
 * Dark Is Evil
 * Distinctive Appearances: Despite being dressed identically, it's possible to tell which Cloak you're looking at. The one played by because of his size compared to the other two, and the one played by  due to having boobs and wearing gloves (which were actually driving gloves).
 * Expy: For the Ringwraiths and possibly the Shadowlords.
 * Elite Mooks
 * Enemy Mine:
 * Even Evil Has Standards: One of the Cloaks hits Angry Joe when he says Santa doesn't exist to a little girl.
 * Evil Sounds Deep: Their normal speaking voices are whispery, but the howl they give off when angered certainly qualifies.
 * The Faceless

Film Brain: I can't see them!

Cloak 1: Then pretend you are looking into my eyes!"


 * Genre Savvy: They can quote The Princess Bride!
 * Wrong Genre Savvy: On the other hand, they believe the reviewers are honorable opponents...
 * Fridge Brilliance: Once they're revealed to be it makes sense that they can't fight.
 * Help I'm Stuck: Covered slides were not designed for husky gentlemen like Cloak 1.
 * Honor Before Reason: When the battle of the playground is interrupted, the parties find another playground to resume. As the Cloaks take their places, the heroes just leave and make fun of their "too assuming" adversaries.
 * Minions With An F In Evil
 * Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Cloak 1 with lightning blasts, Cloak 3 with the "fire of a thousand arrows".
 * Mook Chivalry:
 * More Dakka: When they pull a machine gun.
 * Pity the Kidnapper: After, they spend the next part trying to get rid of him.
 * Punch Clock Villain
 * Quirky Miniboss Squad
 * The Reveal: Cloak 1 is revealed to be as he does his Screw This I'm Outta Here moment.
 * Rule of Three
 * Screw This I'm Outta Here: After seeing, Cloak 1 does this.
 * Serendipity Writes the Plot: Ed Glaser was supposed to be Cloak #2. Due to weather conditions he chose to remain backstage, leading to replace him.
 * Shaped Like Itself
 * Shock and Awe
 * What Happened to The Mouse:
 * Real Life Writes the Plot:
 * You Are Number Six: Refer to each other as Cloak 1, Cloak 2, and Cloak 3.

Cat
"Played by: Dave Myers"


 * A Cat Named Cat:
 * Consulting Mister Puppet/Becoming the Mask: When the cat puppet is removed and hit, the puppeteer faints.
 * Demonic Dummy: Word of God states that either the puppet is in control of the human, or they're both the same entity.
 * Early Bird Boss
 * Hand Puppet
 * Hey Its That Guy: Dave previously played a One More Day fan who was killed by Linkara and The Last Angry Geek in their review of One Moment in Time.
 * Mind Screw: His reaction to the montage, which leads to getting punched.
 * One Steve Limit: Is in no way related to The Cat, a female contributor to the site who cameoed during the Year One Brawl.
 * Shaped Like Itself: "What? It's straightforward and self-explanatory!"
 * Some Call Me Tim: "I am a creature of the ancient world simply known as... Cat."
 * Special Effects Failure: In-universe and Played for Laughs. The actual puppeteer gets up and starts fighting against our "Heroes", but no one mentions that, apparently still believing it was a magical creature with a stupid name.

Witch Warrior/The Good Witch Of The Woods
"Played by: N. Cardena"

""Oh, oh dear. Perhaps it's better if you die now rather than wait for what's coming. I know what hunts you, and believe me it's much kinder if I just smash your brains in and drink from your bleeding skull.""
 * Affably Evil: Acts like a sweet old lady, even when talking about how she's going to kill everyone.
 * Anticlimax Boss
 * Asshole Victim: Team A were demeaning assholes to her, but you're on their side when she tells them they're going to die horribly by either her hand or Malachite's.
 * Beware the Nice Ones: See Affably Evil above. She also tries her best to tolerate being tormented by Critic and the others. It doesn't end very well.
 * Cherry Tapping: Is defeated by pepper spray.
 * She is defeated again in part 6 by a simple punch in the face from.
 * Dark Is Not Evil: Somewhat subverted unless Good Is Not Nice. On the other hand, her Shock and Awe and advertising of herself as nice makes her a candidate for another trope.
 * Do Not Taunt Cthulhu: She may be relatively pleasant, but she's still a frigging witch. Not exactly smart to push her buttons.
 * Eureka Moment: Gets one when Critic mentions the chain letter, and almost instantly guesses who sent it and why.
 * Evil Laugh
 * Evil Sounds Deep
 * Fate Worse Than Death: Promises that this will happen to the Critic and others when she gets fed up with their teasing, saying among other things that Eldritch Abominations from H.P Lovecraft will eat their eyes.
 * Game Face
 * Glass Cannon: She can deal out lightning like nobody's business, but can't seem to take a hit.
 * I Am a Humanitarian: Intends to smash in the brains of the reviewers and drink from their bleeding skulls.
 * Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
 * Mercy Kill: Believes she's doing this to The Critic's group.


 * Non Indicative Name: Unless shooting lightning at people and saying they'd be better off dead counts as "Good".
 * Punny Name: The map refers to her as "Witch Warrior" in order for the riddle to work.
 * Red Eyes Take Warning: Her eyes glow red when she loses her patience.
 * Shock and Awe
 * Squishy Wizard

The Voice Of The Ancient World
"Voiced by:"


 * Energy Being
 * Hard Light: He's just a ball of light that speaks. And punches people.
 * Light Is Not Good
 * Jerkass
 * Mr. Exposition
 * Sir Swearsalot
 * Sophisticated As Hell
 * The Unexpected: Who would have thought that this voice that's older than time ?

Ma-Ti (from Captain Planet)
"Played by: Bhargav Dronamraju"


 * Butt Monkey: Oh so very much.
 * Extreme Doormat
 * : Played for bittersweet laughs.
 * Tagalong Kid
 * What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart Anyway: The Nostalgia Critic does this right to his face, though it doesn't seem to register at first. He clues in by Part 5 and gives him a What the Hell Hero back.
 * : Played for bittersweet laughs.
 * Tagalong Kid
 * What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart Anyway: The Nostalgia Critic does this right to his face, though it doesn't seem to register at first. He clues in by Part 5 and gives him a What the Hell Hero back.
 * Tagalong Kid
 * What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart Anyway: The Nostalgia Critic does this right to his face, though it doesn't seem to register at first. He clues in by Part 5 and gives him a What the Hell Hero back.
 * What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart Anyway: The Nostalgia Critic does this right to his face, though it doesn't seem to register at first. He clues in by Part 5 and gives him a What the Hell Hero back.

Bill
"Played by: James Troken"


 * Dumb Character Smart Actor: Bill, The Stoner who Malachite kills in the beginning, is played by James Troken, one of Doug's college friends. The Spoony-led cast commentary points out that in real life, he's "a doctor and such".
 * No Sense of Direction: He's driven into lakes. Four times.
 * Playing Against Type: Apparently James is rather bright.
 * Sacrificial Lamb
 * The Stoner: "Dude, what are you on? Cause I totally want some!"
 * Too Dumb to Live
 * Totally Radical
 * Your Head Asplode

The Gate Cleaner
"Played by: Noah Antwiler"


 * Call Back: He played him in his Nightmare review and one of his Ultima reviews.
 * Doomy Dooms of Doom: He even says he's contractually obligated to start every appearance with "DOOOOOM!"
 * Henpecked Husband
 * Large Ham
 * My Name Is Not Durwood: Doug didn't know the character's name, and wrote him in the script as "Dungeon Master." This resulted in Spoony not realizing that he was expected to film those scenes until the main shoot was over, and Doug asked him to get the shots to him within two weeks.
 * No Indoor Voice

Crom
"Voiced by:"


 * The Cameo
 * Lying Creator: On the day Part 6 was released, he finally revealed the role on his livestream.
 * Jerkass: Crom sees anyone who openly prays to him as a weakling. Benzaie is very lucky Crom didn't smite him on the spot, as Crom has done in those cases.
 * Throw It In: That burp at the end of his lines?
 * The Unexpected: Not as much as, but he did leave the site earlier in 2011 prior to filming the special, so it was unclear if he'd make an appearance or not.

Elisa

 * Bound and Gagged: Minus the gag.
 * The Cameo
 * No Name Given: She plays an anonymous homeowner.
 * Serendipity Writes the Plot: Rob said Elisa wasn't the original actress, and that her scene was changed after she nearly passed out while filming.

That Guy With the Glasses
"Played by: Doug Walker"


 * The Cameo
 * Catch Phrase: Gets two of them in as his first two lines: "Oh, _____, didn't hear you come in" and "That's a very good question".
 * Obfuscating Stupidity/Pet the Dog: He makes it ridiculously easy for Team B to get both things they want.
 * The Unexpected: For the cast.

Aeon

 * Posthumous Character
 * We Used to Be Friends

Nella

 * Butt Monkey: It's Nella, what do you expect?
 * Stunt Double: She'll gladly cover the Chick's stunts, even putting her own life on the line!
 * Written in Infirmity: Lindsay said she would be "my Patsy", but as Nella couldn't get enough time off work, it was reduced to a cameo.

Larry Prince

 * And That's Terrible: "Sad. Very, very sad."
 * Kent Brockman News
 * Worst News Judgement Ever: His top story is the disappearance of an obscure gamestore clerk, followed by the President getting shot as being "On a lighter note".