Lost in Space/Funny

Show
"The Robot:................I can lift heavy objects. VERDA: Oh. I see. But wouldn't you think that a teacher should know about ALL subjects?"
 * From the episode "The Android Machine", after The Robot has bested Dr. Smith at Earth knowledge in order to be the teacher to Penny and Will, the Android VERDA interrupts him, asking him several questions about other planets which he is clueless about and asks if he can be a proper teacher to the children, he replies with:

"The Robot: She took my pointing stick."
 * She snatches his pointer as the Robot rolls away dejectingly.
 * Later on in the episode, Dr. Smith is moaning that he doesn't like VERDA. The Robot agrees with him. When Dr. Smith asks why The Robot doesn't like her, his response is:

"The Robot: Dr. Smith. So far, you have made me the bellman, the lifeguard, the golf pro, the waiter, room service, social director, night watch man, badminton instructor, cashier, master chef, caddy, polo referee and many more positions at the "Happy Acres Hotel."
 * The episode "Two Weeks In Space" definitly qualifies as one. Here, Dr. Smith tries making the Jupiter II into a hotel to make money quickly with himself as the manager, Will as the bellboy and The Robot as...every other single position in the "hotel".
 * From the same episode, when The Robot is complaining about all the jobs that he has to do:

Dr. Smith: You sententious sloth! Don't you realise that this is for the good of the ship?

The Robot: I am also the elevator operator. So now, I beg of you, Dr. Smith...PLEASE LET ME GO TO SLEEP!"

1998 Film Version
"Will: Relax, Robot. I'm going to build you a new body. Mom always said I should make new friends. Robot: Oh, ha ha."
 * As Will looks for parts to Robot's new body.

"Robot: Will Robinson! I will tell you a joke! Why did the robot cross the road? Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken! Will Robinson: We've got a *lot* of work to do."
 * "I'm a doctor, not a space explorer."
 * The Robot is great at many things, jokes? Not so much.

"Smith: We're DOOMED! PUNCH West: Man that felt good."
 * Doctor Smith's transformation into Jonathan Harris is complete.


 * "I don't like the sound of that sound!"