Waiting for God

"Tom Ballard: [about Diana] Your smile is like a crack in the gates of hell. One can smell the sulphur and hear the screams of the damned through your smiles."

Broadcast between 1990 and 1994 on the BBC, Waiting for God was a British sitcom that ran on BBC 1 for five series. It, like many Sit Coms of the time was set in an institution of some kind, in this case Bayview Retirement Village, near Bournemouth.

The main character is the ever cynical retired photojournalist Diana Trent, who spent her working life documenting the most momentous and dangerous events of the times. The story mostly focuses on her relationship with Tom Ballard, a retired accountant who is rapidly losing his marbles, although to what extent he plays it up is unclear. Diana is at Bayview because a life of action and adventure has left her without any family, aside from her niece, and Tom is there because his family wanted rid of him.

Diana's frustration at the prospect of years of being alternately patronised and ignored at Bayview is vented at the management of the retirement home and Tom's ungrateful family, seeking to score moral victories against them at every opportunity while blackmailing the managing directors of Bayview to prevent them throwing her out. Her niece has a much better relationship with her than Tom's family has with him, but the relationship is distant and rather one sided with her niece doing most of the work.

Came thirty-seventh in Britains Best Sitcom.

"Mrs Bains: It was so dull in there I had to fight down an urge to jump on the table and shout "Bum!" and then follow it up with a display of the same."
 * Ambiguously Human: Harvey, according to Diana.
 * Black Comedy: And how.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: Tom, most certainly. He's got his head in the clouds so often that when he makes a genuinely valid point, everyone thinks that is a sign he has lost his mind.
 * Cool Old Lady: Diana, in spades.
 * Corrupt Corporate Executive: Harvey Bains.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Diana, and she's quite good at it.
 * Dirty Old Man: Basil Makepeace, who prefers to introduce himself as "Bayview's Resident Stud"
 * Dirty Old Woman: Several. When they start to make their moves on Tom, Diana explains that this is all because women simply live longer than men so they have to work harder to find a man at their ages. She then explains that working harder can also mean gouging out the eyes of any hussy who looks at your man. They go back to chasing Basil.
 * Harvey's mother definitely counts.

"Diana: Of course, I would have broken her leg too."
 * Getting Crap Past the Radar: When Tom and Diana finally start a sexual relationship, clues they have been at it include fictional religious references, furniture damage and taking extra sugar in your tea (like, fifty extra sugars in your tea, or on one memorable occasion simply upending the sugar bowl)
 * Manic Pixie Dream Girl: Tom's son Geoffrey is so boring that he thinks shelving is fascinating, and his wife Marian is so wild that she sleeps with literally anyone, drinks and drugs herself so much that she is almost permanently comatose, and is so selfish she actually wishes death on Tom so that she can get his money.
 * Mood Whiplash: The later seasons have a surprising amount of drama, although they are no less hilarious. Many episodes flip multiple times between comedy and seriousness, often in the same scene.
 * Obfuscating Stupidity: It is clear that Tom has been doing this for so long that he is Becoming the Mask.
 * The Odd Couple: Diana and Tom.
 * Runaway Bride: Played with. Unhappy with his status of being Diana's 471st lover, Tom piles increasing amounts of pressure on her to accept his marriage proposal.
 * Stockholm Syndrome: Jane. She is still smitten for Harvey after being repeatedly abused by him and even told point-blank by him that he hates her.
 * Video Inside, Film Outside: (If you count their veranda as "inside")
 * "Well Done, Son" Guy: Diana's niece has her moments, when someone needs tearing into.


 * We Want Our Jerk Back: Diana finally drives the odious Bayview manager Harvey Baines into an asylum and while everyone hates Harvey, they are still mad at her for doing it.
 * Younger Than They Look: Stephanie Cole, who plays Diana, is rather well-known for playing characters who are a good deal older than she is.