Team Four Star/Funny

Dragon Ball Abridged

TFS Let's Play - Left 4 Dead 2
From their Let's Play of L4D2: (Videos now here as well as here.)

Hard Rain

 * The very first campaign shown, "Hard Rain", only Kaiser gets out alive. In a later campaign, he gets is comeuppance for abandoning his comrades when they shoot him in the finale.
 * At the end of their "Hard Rain" campaign, before Kaiser accidentally makes the boat leave without everyone else, Lani is shooting at a Charger, who runs at him and smashes him into the river, killing him. His frantic screaming of "NO! NO NO! AAAAARGH!" before he gets knocked in make it even funnier.
 * Taka, get off the phone!!

Dead Center
"Ant: "There is nothing wrong with black chicks, goddammit!" Everyone bursts into laughter Gan: "It's okay. Rochelle likes Depeche Mode, apparently." Kaiser: "So, she likes gay bands?" Ant: "Only the band is gay, first of all!" Again, everyone bursts into laughter Ant: "The singer is straight as an arrow!" Kaiser: "Come on! We're talking about fucking De! Pesche! MODE!"
 * Before the campaign even starts (i.e., in the lobby), the gang questions Antfish for picking Rochelle. Ant's response?

Ant: "Enjoy The Silence was a good song!""

"Lani: Stupid British sports make for good weapons!"
 * In the first part of the campaign, we get this little gem in response to the effectiveness of the cricket bat as a formidable bludgeoning weapon:

"Ant: Why are we not allowed to use the phone as a weapon?"
 * Also, this one from Antfish:

"Ant: Ladies, there is enough Rochelle for everyone. Kaiser: Wow, that is some hot lesbian zombie action.
 * This conversation at the beginning of "Dead Center" stage 2, where the zombies outside the safe room are crowding the door:

Ant: That's the best lesbian action there is.

Lani: Rochelle has aroused the Witch."

The Passing

 * Also when Lani falls down a hole into a pit of zombies in "The Passing Part 2".
 * Moments after one of the other guys was singing "Ring of Fire"
 * They did this playthrough fairly late at night, so Taka is sitting close to his mic and talking in a very low voice so as not to wake other people in his house. The result of this is that he sounds like a serial killer for the whole video.

The Sacrifice
"Lani: OLD MAN ON SPEED! WHAT WANTS TO DIE?!"
 * During "The Sacrifice", Lani, playing as Bill, takes some adrenaline and leaps out a window.


 * In the final part of "The Sacrifice", right as Lani is about to jump down and perform the titular act,.

Dead Aboard
"Lani: "IT'S ON THE BEACH!""
 * Lani shouting "EL KABONG!" when he melees zombies after getting his hands on a guitar.
 * Later on, turning Ax Crazy after obtaining a chainsaw, shouting "COME AT ME!" at common infected and charging a Tank head-on while screaming.
 * Speaking of "Death Aboard", there are two moments towards the end. First, on the Ship level, when Taka is suddenly incapacitated. Everyone is baffled at how Taka was quickly knocked down, only for them to find out after the fact that the container door that leads forward has a lovely surprise behind it: a car that tumbles out. Then on the finale, everyone is expecting the hot-air balloon to land on the rooftop...only for the balloon to drift down to the docks below the lighthouse they are holed up in. What follows is one hell of a mad dash to the escape vehicle that is flat-out hilarious to watch.

"Kaiser: That would be like, like Hard Rain- Gan: That would be like a really shitty metaphor, is what it would be. Lani (smugly): Using 'Like' or 'As' is a simile. beat Gan: Fuck you."
 * During the beginning of Death Aboard, when someone jokes about turning it to Realism...

I Hate Mountains
"Gan: This, is a wall. Thank you, Magellan."
 * The search for the Batcave.
 * The debate about whether there could be a zombie Batman or even a zombie Superman.
 * Also, from "I Hate Mountains," after they absentmindedly begin to follow Kaiser (again) because he thinks he knows the way down an underground railway and he leads them smack into a wall of sheer rock:


 * "I Hate Mountains". The guys fight through the lumberyard, and Lani peeks out a door to scout ahead... only to spot a Tank. Unfortunately for Gan, the guys throw a Molotov and he ends up on the wrong side of the fire, alone with the Tank... and then a Charger rushes toward him. He somehow survives with minimal damage, which probably makes this a Moment of Awesome as well.
 * The ending of I Hate Mountains. The guys are getting swarmed and Lani says "Remember what we learned in Hard Rain. ...Wait, what DID we learn in Hard Rain?" Then he and the others all start shooting Kaiser in revenge for his being the Sole Survivor of that campaign. And then Laser-Guided Karma hits in the form of a Tank.

Detour Ahead
"Gan: This is so unnecessary!"
 * The epic mess that was "Detour Ahead 5".
 * Particularly in the fourth stage- after fighting off a ridiculous horde, the guys are chatting about how glad they are to have survived and now they can heal... and then the Tank theme starts to play.
 * This is not long after their only Molotov was used to make a wall of fire behind them during the event so they wouldn't get mobbed from behind.
 * Don't forget the beginning of the third stage, where they go into a warehouse and are attacked by a tank, a charger, and a jockey. First Taka is downed by the tank, then after being helped back up, the charger downs him again.

"Taka: I walked into the house, there was a tank drinking a beer and watching the game!"
 * And also the first stage, when they're waiting for a Witch in their way to calm down. It doesn't, so Taka just finally opens fire while shouting. Lani's response? "God Damn it, Leeroy!" And then the group agrees that that was something Ellis would have done. Later, when they enter the house, Taka is attacked and downed by a Tank, and since he used his health pack after the witch attack, he has to go the remainder of the stage without a heal up.

Dark Carnival
"Taka: OH MY GOD."
 * In "Dark Carnival", the gang runs from a Tank. Taka, holding up the rear, asks "is it behind me?" only to get hit with a thrown chunk of concrete.
 * In the finale of "Dark Carnival", the guys survive long enough for the helicopter to arrive. Gan and Kaiser immediately hop on, but Lani- holding Gnome Chomski- has trouble getting into it. Suddenly they realize Taka is nowhere near them, as it turns out he glitched through the bottom of the helicopter and went back around only to be overwhelmed as the chopper takes off. His attempt at a heroic final speech makes it even better.
 * About 5 minutes into "Dark Carnival Part 1", the guys are at the hotel and scouting around for more supplies. Que sobbing, meaning a witch was nearby. So nearby, she was inside the rooms above the pool (players will know where). Kaiser found out the hard way, then ran off the second floor to avoid her and tried to lead her up the staircase so the others could take her down. Except the Witch decided to take the stairs down to the first floor, and meet him half-way. Or it tried to, but it had to run past three full-autos, and promptly died before Kaiser got back up to the second floor.
 * A little before that, Kaiser and Taka are innocently strolling into a room... Just before Gan shoots the gas can inside of it. Kaiser, luckily, was still half way out. Taka, on the other hand...


 * "You ever wonder why we're here?"

No Mercy
"Lani (As Bill, after taking adrenaline): Oooh yeah! OLD MAN ON SPEED! [Charges into a dark room full of Commons and starts firing wildly.] Lani: WHO WANTS TA BE A HOME FOR MAH BULLETS?!?! Taka: (without missing a beat, as Francis) I hate bullets."
 * During the first stage of "No Mercy", Gan finds the safe house just as Lani sets off a car alarm, alerting the horde. Problem is, there is a Witch, a Jockey and a Spitter in their way, and Gan is caught between the horde and the door, and is incapacitated, and the others closed the door, forcing them go back out and saving him. In the second stage, after suffering a number of setbacks, including being incapacitated by Lani while trying to save Taka and being chased by the Witch, there is another car with an alarm near the safe house, and Gan, who is already closer to the safe house than the others, sets off the alarm as revenge, then closes the door. He's fully content to let them all die until an incapacitated Taka starts singing again.
 * Also, in the second stage:

"Lani: I died the way I lived -- screaming and on fire!"
 * Third stage. Gan shoots and kills Taka for being incapacitated by Common Infected, climbs out of the sewer hole... and gets jumped and incapacitated by a Jockey, while Lani and Kaiser make a break for it. Lani botches a Molotov throw and dies in his own flames, and Kaiser makes it to the safe room. He sets himself on fire too. (Maybe he felt left out.)
 * Earlier in the third stage, the gang comes across a Witch at the bottom of some spiral stairs. Naturally surprised, they quickly try to formulate a plan- only to be interrupted by a Boomer who runs through the door and pukes everyone but Lani.

"Kaiser: Children, don't make me turn this game around. Lani: I swear, I will switch it to Swamp Fever and you will like it!"
 * In the lobby for "No Mercy", after some jabs at Taka:

"Lani (bludgeoning the Tank with his cricket-bat): TAKE THAT! Eat cricket-bat, you whore! I'm kickin' your ass! Die! Die! (Continues hitting said Tank after its dead) Urgh! Urgh! Urgh!"
 * On Part 4 of "No Mercy", Gan says he's never seen a Tank spawn on this level. Kaiser says he has, but Lani and Taka share Gan's opinion and doubt it. Then a Tank appears. Cue the usual reactions from the group.
 * Lani killing said Tank with his cricket-bat (while the others provide covering fire) is also this, doubling as a CMOA.

"Taka: Acid! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me...
 * And once they reach the elevator and take it down, the group rescues Kaiser from a closet, have Lani die after getting incapacitated for the third time, limp through the maze to the safe room... only to have Kaiser shoot Gan and take him out at the very last second.
 * In the finale of "No Mercy" advanced, during their first attempt of the helipad fight, as Gan is trying to revive Lani and Kaiser, they're all suddenly hit by a spitter...which causes someone to hit a gas can...

[everything explodes]

Lani: OH MY! AND FIRE!?!? WHYYYYYY!?"

"Kaiser: ...there's a Charger up here? [Gan, who was behind Kaiser on the ladder, suddenly gets spear tackled by a Hunter, while Kaiser is slammed by the Charger] Gan: OH MY GOD!"
 * During their second attempt, the group are ascending the ladder up to the helipad area, talking casually, wondering why you never see any wheelchair zombies. Kaiser makes it to the top first, and nonchalantly notes...

"Taka: I hate fire. I hate acid. I hate dying. I hate you guys."
 * Next time they reach that ladder, Kaiser goes up...and is immediately soaked in Boomer bile AND pounced by a Hunter, almost simultaneously.
 * Later during the second attempt, Kaiser get dragged off the roof by a Smoker, rammed into a wall by a Charger, coated in acid by a Spitter, and grabbed by another Charger... all within the space of about thirty seconds. The AI really doesn't like cats, it seems.
 * The epic clusterf*ck that results from Kaiser hitting the elevator button too soon on No Mercy Advanced, leaving Gan and Kaiser to die while getting mobbed by the horde as Lani and Taka hole up in a room at the end of the hallway. Taka opens the door to throw a pipe bomb and a Charger comes through, hitting Lani. Then as the zombies eventually break down the door, Taka throws a Molotov and Lani is caught by a Smoker, which then proceeds to drag him through the fire to Lani's screams of "HE WAS WAITING!", Lani gets mauled by the Infected while everyone else proceeds to crack up. The remaining zombies charge at Taka and he kills them, then runs out into the hallway and gets caught by the same Smoker and dies.
 * They were suffering even before that, mostly because Taka and Gan were still spending more time trying to kill each other over what happened in the second stage. It's only after they die that Kaiser and Lani's suggestion of not killing each other starts to make sense to them.
 * While trying to climb a stairwell in "No Mercy Advanced", Taka gets downed, then spat upon. Gan goes to rescue him, only to get downed by Lani and his lousy shooting. Lani rescues Gan, Kaiser foolishly tosses a Moly, and Taka says in surprise "Oh, so that's what that looks like!" when he's set on fire. By now it's become mass confusion, so as the others laugh and let Taka roast, he decides to voice his complaints in true Francis style:


 * "Merry fuckin Christmas, Tank! I got you fire and bullets!"

Helm's Deep
"Lani (being swarmed by Commons while trying to kill a Tank): AH GOD! EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE!"
 * During their attempts at the "Helm's Deep" challenge, these tend to happen... A lot.


 * After Taka gets a Charger off of him, a Hunter jumps right on him.
 * In the final attempt of Helm's Deep they all turn against each other with hilarious results. Though, mainly this was directed at Taka to begin with, but it just devolved into them trying to slaughter one another after they'd finally downed him, leaving Gan and Lani to go out there on their own. Just hearing Gan raving at Taka for "leaving them to die" is simply priceless.
 * Kaiser spots a Tank coming and accidentally calls it a "heavy"- "We have a Heavy coming?! Quick, someone go Spy!"
 * "TEAM DEATHMATCH!"

Dead Air
"Lani: Okay, yeah, I got money on Zombie-On-The-Right here. (Gan snaps off a precise series of shots that kills the zombies, starting with the one on the right.) Lani: Well, go to Hell. Well, go to Hell. Gan: Should've always bet on Gan."
 * In the third portion of "Dead Air" on Advanced, they STILL have trouble opening doors!
 * Also in Part Three, they're making their way through an abandoned parking garage that links to the airport via skybridge. As they do so, Lani turns around a dark corner and switches on his flashlight. What greets him is the sight of a male and female zombie humorously engaged in a fist-fight, in turn, prompting this exchange:

"Zoey: Through the offices! Gan: Thank you, Zoey. Zoey knows what's up. Lani: Zoey works in an airport. Apparently this airport. Kaiser: I've been escorted through here to get searched so many times... Lani: Damn FAA. Gan: If you weren't gay, I would suggest you were creeping."
 * At the beginning of "Dead Air" part four:

"Lani: I am waiting here for them. They are seeing us off. Louis: We've got to get inside! Lani: Shut up, Louis!"
 * Also in "Dead Air" part four, watching Gan get chased by a Witch during the event is so hilarious. All it really needs is to be set to the "Yakety Sax" to be complete.
 * Near the end, Lani walks through a metal detector in the airport, summoning a horde, so Gan throws a Boomer vial to buy them time to escape to the safe house. However, Lani is disappointed that they missed the horde, so he refuses to go in until he fights one. He ends up getting incapacitated, and Gan tells the others to not help him.


 * "If you having zombie problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one."

Suicide Blitz
"Lani (after Gan cr0wns a Jockey): Cr0wning the Jockey! The Prince of the Useless Infected! Gan: Why a prince? Shouldn't the Jockey be in a more useless position? Like a Duke?"
 * The calamity we call "Suicide Blitz Part One" has to be seen to be believed. The fun starts when Kaiser's connection dies, leaving the AI to take over Rochelle while the others curse his computer. Soon after, Taka becomes inexplicably mute, with Gan & Lani both telling and typing at him to use the C button. Once outside, Taka's connection dies just as Kaiser returns, but is also mute, constantly running ahead of Lani & Gan, and setting off a car alarm and luring a Zerg Rush of infected, causing speculation as to whether an actual cat has taken over his controls. Then Lani somehow loses the Gnome: when he puts it down to use his guns, it phases through a truck and lands on surfaces that are outside the level, rendering it completely irretrievable. Gan now tries to punish Kaiser, only to have Kaiser die before Gan can get to him. Finally, Lani and Gan give up and shoot each other, leading to a Game Over and a restart.
 * During the second try, when Kaiser and Taka seem to have their connection back:

"Lani: HELP ME, I'M IN THE CLOSET! HELP ME! Gan: Well, I think some of us have some accepting to do before we get you out of there.
 * A bit before this, Lani is swarmed by a bunch of commons after being hit by a Charger, downing him, and then gets pounced by a Hunter, all while shouting, "GNOME CHOMPSKI SAVE MEH! GNOME CHOMPSKI SAVE MEH!." Well, as expected, he does not live through this encounter, and they later have to rescue him from a closet on the ground-floor, prompting this exchange:

Lani: SHUT UP, I WILL END YOU!"

"Gan: Hey, wanna shoot the car again, maybe?
 * Further into this encounter in Part Two, they run though an abandoned parking lot and one of them makes a sarcastic remark to Kaiser about shooting the car, again.

Kaiser: Yeah, okay, where is it?

Lani: Yeah, that's a brilliant idea.


 * bang*

Gan: Oh, wow, you actually shot it. You actually are that stupid.

Kaiser: Well, you asked me to.

Taka: Well, actually, he was being-

Gan: Cats cannot detect sarcasm... Even if they are sentient."

"Taka: I don't get why we're bringing Gnome Chompski. I mean, is there some gain to this? Lani: IT'S A FUCKING GNOME, YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!"
 * And from Part Three:

"Taka: ...I wanna kill myself. Lani: You'll hurt us in the process, so no. Kaiser: Yeah, sorry, this is assisted. beat Taka: What does that even mean? Lani: It means 'Shut up and take your bullet'."
 * Lani's devotion to the gnome is eventually played out in the final act of the level... but we're not gonna tell you how. It's better if you see it for yourself.
 * "Lani, are you being silly?" "No, Gnome Chompski is talking to me! He says to go this way!" "Okaaay..."
 * Taka being put down. (As killing and then defibbing him would give a greater net gain than healing him.)

"Lani: Oh, so that's why I got fired from coaching Peewee Football!"
 * At the beginning of Episode 2 of Suicide Blitz 2, Taka questions how there can even be a second, given the definition of suicide. Gan explains that it's a football term not involving actual suicide, leading Lani to quip:

"Gan: Ah, it's good to be outside. Lani: Yeah. Gan: Smell the rotting corpses and burning buildings. [A low flying fighter plane fires a missile into a building that they're right next to. REALLY LOUDLY.] Taka: WHOA! Lani: That one is really fresh! Gan: Yeah, it's so refreshing."
 * In Part 4 of Suicide Blitz, Team Four Star gets out of the police station they were in:

"Kaiser: I'm sorry...I'm sorry you don't find my antics as cheeky as I do!"
 * In Part 5 of Suicide Blitz, Kaiser is incapped and Gan makes him apologize for setting off the car alarm in Part 1 and Part 2:

"Gan, upon encountering a Tank in a red football jersey: "Red? What, are you with San Francisco? Don't worry, guys, this guy sucks." The Tank throws a rock at Gan, almost bringing him down. Gan: "Oh shit! Apparently, he was Frank Gore. Nevermind. The one good player on San Francisco!""
 * The finale of Suicide Blitz 2, and all the football jokes that they made.

"Lani: "Oh my God, I'm about to get Palomal-owned!""

"Kaiser, after killing a Tank-in-a-Jersey: "Oh, Jesus Christ!" Gan: "What?" Kaiser: "Before he died, he sent me a picture of his dick on my phone!" Taka: "Aw, what a callous dick!" Lani: "Zombie Brett Farve is an ass!""

"Lani: "Guys, we just won the Super Bowl! We're going to DISNEYLAND!!!"

Everyone except Kaiser: "YEAH!!!"

Kaiser: "Disney World is superior!"

Beat

Lani: I will cut you!"

Blood Harvest
"Lanipator: Oh god, it's Resident Evil 4. beat Gan: Is it? Oh. Thank God Leon's not here. Kaiser: Awww, I like Leon! Gan: You're the only one who would. Foreeeeever a Leon..."
 * Blood Harvest. Sweet mother of God. Roughly the same number of thing go wrong as in Suicide Blitz 2, above. And then there are the quips...
 * The campaign loads. The camera pans slowly over a sparsely-wooded, rocky path, covered in mist and lingers on a decrepit National Forest billboard.

"Lani (laughing hysterically): It was like a beautiful piece of art!"
 * The gang finds a pipe bomb in the woods. Taka promptly blames it on 'those punk kids drinkin' again'.
 * The sound glitching out (possibly due to triggering a Boomer horde in the ending room of the first level), leaving them with absolutely no warning whenever they fight a Tank. (For the record; Tanks have a very distinctive and loud music cue and theme, to the point where even the experienced foursome has trouble pinpointing if it was a Tank that roared or just a retarded Charger.)
 * Kaiser swinging between making mentions of well-known Versus slaughterfest corridors as they pass through and leading the others in completely the wrong direction, often with barely half a minute between the two extremes.
 * The third stage. Taka messes up the Witch's killing and talks trash. When she's gone, Gan and Kaiser begin debating whether to pick him up while Lani cuts out the middleman and begins shooting Taka. Cue a Charger ramming into Kaiser and slamming Lani into a nearby bit of rock. Quite possibly the definition of 'Karma Charger'.

"Gan: I swear, if I get pounced-- Oh God, a Boomer!"
 * The group goes through a building and accidentally sets off a gas can, trapping Gan outside. Lani enthusiastically tosses a second gas can into the inferno followed by a propane tank. The icing on the cake is Gan's comment just after the propane tank goes off.

"Taka: Hey guys, I got a chainsaw!"
 * The cherry on top of the icing is Lani's instant karmic near-strangulation by Smoker. It doesn't stop him cracking up.
 * The absolute crowning glory is Gan getting jumped on by a Jockey, while still Boomed, and still cut off from his teammates by the blaze.
 * And then the group hears about why Taka isn't there with them, laughing at Gan.

"(Lani swats the Jockey off Gan and turns around to see the Tank about an arm's width away.) Lani: OH NO!!
 * After trials, tribulations, two Chargers picking Taka up (and down and up and down) in the space of about a minute, Kaiser trying to claim the Tank as being all the work of the Bile Jar, and Lani dropping to one health and setting a building on fire, they make it into the safe room. Where they accidentally open the door and get Spat on just as the end-of-level screen pops up.
 * Stage Four. In a virtual replay of the last stage, Lani sets off a propane tank and blocks Kaiser from rejoining the group. Moments before he is picked up and carried easily fifty metres by a Charger.
 * Kaiser jumping off a small ledge... and incapacitating himself. The group follows him cautiously, with Lani going to pick him up before quickly having to dodge out of the way of a Charger as Taka gets Jockeyed away.
 * Lani desperately picks up Kaiser, turns around and swats a Jockey off Gan and turns again... to see a Tank right up in his face, lashing out.

''(Beats a hasty retreat as it charges them while the others crack up at the impossibility of it all.)

Lani (panicked): THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! (Hops onto the loading dock just as the Tank takes a swipe at him) IT HAPPENED! IT'S HAPPENING! OH GOD! HELP ME!"

"Lani: Taka, help! Help, Taka! RUN! Er, HOBBLE!"
 * Thankfully, they manage to kill it (at the brief expense of Kaiser), forcing Taka to limp over and pick them up one by one.

"Kaiser: By the way, somebody find my dead body back there with the Defib'. Gan: Your body had a Defib' on it? Cool, we can save that for when one of us dies.
 * Once everyone is up, they have to go and revive Kaiser.

Kaiser (jokingly): Awwww! Why you so mean to me?

Gan: Okay, okay, I have the Defib', there you are... CLEAR!

(Revives Kaiser.)

Kaiser: OH MAH GOD! I saw a Light!"

"Lani: What the-?! Gan!! Gan: I CAN'T SEE COLOR!!"
 * At one point after this, Gan actually does what he always rips on Kaiser for doing completely by accident... He shoots a car while almost dead.

"Gan: Hey, I know you, you're that funny guy from the internet! Taka: That's right; I am from the internet. I do many hilarious voices, such as (in Nappa's voice) Nappa! (Still in the same voice) And Krump!"
 * Taka dies, and gets saved by Gan.


 * The catastrophe that was the Blood Harvest Finale. It took them three tries to get to the actual event, likely because the music wasn't giving them some vital clues.
 * During the first run, Lani nearly gets incapped immediately after the saferoom. He pops some pills and keeps going, only for the horde to swarm the party and incap Taka. After that, Gan gets incapped by commons, and Taka gets charged immediately after trying to pick Gan up. Kaiser chucks a pipe bomb to buy them some time, only for it to detonate and startle a witch, and he gets killed. Lani drops shortly afterwards.
 * Their second try ends up similarly bad, but this time Kaiser tries to avoid the horde by telling everyone to crouch when the enter the cornfield (to avoid the birds getting startled). This obviously doesn't work, and the gang rags on Kaiser for the rest of the map.

Death Toll
"Lani (in the middle of a killing spree): Dont test me, you sons of bitches! I just watched the premier of Walking Dead! DON'T FUCKING TEST ME! I GOT THIS SHIT!!!
 * In Part 1, we get this gem from Lani and Kaiser:

Kaiser: Um, I was watching My Little Pony earlier. What does that mean?"

"Kaiser: If I see her(witch), I am going to shoot her.
 * Part 2, and apparently Leeroy is contagious too.

a few moments and zombies later...

Gan: Way to go, dipshit.

Kaiser(incapped): I said I was going to shoot her!

Taka drops a propane tank on him

Taka: Hey Kaiser, look what I found!(shoots)

then when Taka actually gets him up

Lani: Taka, you have just doomed every gas can on this map.

finally, near the safe room...

Kaiser: Alright, where's the bitch?

Gan: Oh nooo, wherever could she be SHESRIGHTBEHINDYOU!

Kaiser: Ah! What the fuck?!?

Lani: WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH!

Taka, after Kaiser is downed: Don't worry Kaiser, I'll save you with my ax!

Lani: Let's grab his stuff!

Gan: Yaaay! (singsong)And nothing of value was lost.

Kaiser: I'd just like to point out - that the three white people just ganged up and shot down the black man!

Gan: You're like the whitest guy I know. You're not allowed to say that."

"Lani: The only incaps I have are from you guys! Gan: Maybe if you stopped lighting everyone on fire we wouldn't shoot you! Lani: You know what, FUCK YOU!!! [Lani throws a Molotov at Gan] Gan: AH, MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Taka: He's an artist with fire.
 * In part 3 of Death Toll, Lani's quick and irrational use of molotovs is stimulated when they find large amounts of them throughout the level. Even Kaiser gets in on it!
 * Gan nabs a chainsaw that Taka really wanted, leading Taka to splutter that Gan is stifling his creativity. "I'm an artist with the chainsaw!"
 * To TFS's detriment in part 4, where Lani is incapped by Kaiser, and Gan says he should stop lighting people on fire.

Gan: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! I just used a healthpack! *he attempts to flee the fire, only to be incapped and skid to a halt at Lani's feet*"

"Lani: Guys, I'm down again! The tank is not very happy that I lit him on fire. Just throwing that out there. Kaiser: Yeah? Well, neither were we!"
 * They are subsequently overrun and forced to restart the level in Part 5, at which point fire antics continue. For instance, Lani takes grief for using a Molotov on a Tank, despite this being standard procedure for dealing with one.

"Taka: Please. For the love of god. Gan: Goddammit, I've got one health! Lani: Run, Gan. I've got this. (throws Molotov) Fiyaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!
 * Of course, the crowning moment of all crowning-moments-of-funny comes at the end of the third try. The survivors have limped their way down a set of narrow hallways, upstream against a horde of infinite zombies, and everyone has gone down at one point or another except for Gan. Taka's incap is right outside the door of the saferoom.

The Molotov lands perfectly, walling the survivors off as Kaiser comes forward to pick up Taka.

Kaiser: May be your most legitimate use of fire thus far this game.

Lani picks off the last few zombies and closes the safehouse door, ending the level.

Taka: Congratulations, guys. We got this.

Lani: Fi-yaaah! Fire good!

Gan: Whew. Okay. Okay!...

Lani: Fire very good.

Gan: I can't believe that took us three tries.

Lani: Everybody thank the fire!

Gan: No.

Taka: No!

Kaiser: No."

"Kaiser: Oh God no!!
 * In Part 5, Kaiser almost trips over a witch that had given Gan grief in the previous attempt.

Gan: Same place?? Okay, okay bitch, round two. I got this shit.

Taka (simultaneously): Guys guys guys guys guys. I got this. I got this.

Gan: No no no no no no.

Taka (indignant): I got this. Shut the f-- I got this!

Gan: Aww, goddammit, Taka, back off...

Taka begins to back off, having not yet fired a shot. But before he can...

takahata101 startled the Witch

Taka Fuck! (begins to run away, whooping in panic)

Witch incapacitated takahata101

Gan: This is not happening.

Lani: I'm letting this happen."

Unsorted
"Lani: Three Cheers for Gnome Chompski! HIP HIP! Kaiser: Hooray! Lani: HIP HIP! Kaiser: (noticeably less enthusiastic) Hooray. Lani: HIP HIP! Taka: Fuck you!"
 * Their many door problems.
 * Gan constantly getting mad at everyone else (usually Taka) for constantly "Breaking the immersion".
 * Practically any time a Tank shows up outside of the final event. Half the time splicing in Yakkity Sax would be appropriate.
 * The way they talk to "Gnome Chompski".
 * Taka: I'M HERE TO SECURE THE GUARANTEE MOTHERF**KERS!
 * It gets even better in the second part of Suicide Blitz, with Lani proudly declaring, "GNOME CHOMPSKI'S GOT THIS!" ... Except for Chargers.


 * Anytime they get outnumbered.
 * Their frequent desires to take on the harmless, out of the way Witches they come across... which usually backfire horribly.
 * Gan attempts a Pre-Mortem One-Liner. "Hello, I have a package for Miss Witch?... SURPRISE, IT'S DEATH!" Unfortunately his shot misses and even more hilarity ensues.
 * Whenever they befriend an inanimate object only to sacrifice it against the zombies.
 * GAS CAN!
 * The Gas Can theme song from "Death Aboard", Pt. 3.
 * The constant arguments about how to pronounce "melee".
 * Taka actually pronounces it correctly on one occasion... and then quickly UN-corrects himself.
 * "Watch out for the one in the hoodie. He'll try to touch your nipples."
 * Taka's frequent Ho Yay. The first real sign of this is at the end of "Death Aboard" when he audibly whispers "I love you, Nick" as the credits begin to roll, and it only gets more frequent until "Dark Carnival" when the guys jokingly call him out on it and accuse him of just trying to "make an excuse."
 * Spot, the Boomer.
 * "'Sup guys. Have you seen my friend Spot? Strange name for a guy I know, but I'm worried about him. Think he might be trying to kill himself."
 * "Why do you have to be so quiet GOD?"
 * I WILL NEVER STOP KILLING YOU!

TFS Let's Play - Halo Reach
"Lanipator: "Ghosts are scary." Taka, as Ghost Nappa: "I know what you mean.""

"TAKA: "Which button is melee?" GAN: "Which-- I'm not gonna answer it until you say it right."
 * The trailer starts things off in fine style with an excerpt from the Firefight playthrough referencing the L4D LP:

(some overlapping chatter, out of which emerges...)

TAKA: "Stop stop stop stop stop. Which button is melee?"


 * assorted giggles*"

"Lani: This is the song that Lani is singing,
 * Fall back Kaiser! FALL BACK!
 * "Oh my god- I locked onto it- that's impossible!" "YOU LOCKED ONTO A SHRUBBERY."
 * Also from the Firefight escapades, Taka announces at one point that he'll be taking a Mongoose, while Gan (currently in the process of trying to kill an Elite) and the others think nothing of it and let him have it. Seconds later, Gan is still trying to slay the Elite, which is now coming up the stairs, when we hear, "VROOMVROOMVROOMVROOMVROOMVROOMVROOMVROOMVROOOOOOM!" Cue the sight of Taka flying past Gan in the Mongoose, down the stairs, and running over the Elite, not only killing, but causing it to cartwheel comically through the air before he himself crashes into a pillar.
 * "By the way the Warthog is okay." "It's not okay, it's on fire!"
 * The very end of the trailer has one. We cut from scenes of the guys fighting Covenant, only to cut to them outside a farmhouse. One of them is shrieking "HE'S GOTTA GUUUUUUUUUUUN!" as an unarmed farmer comes out of the house to talk to Noble Team. Then they kill him.
 * ...After which we are treated to the sight of Taka (in red) running around in circles, backwards, like a madman, screaming his head off in victory while firing his gun into the air, shrieking/chanting, "U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!"
 * ...Which leads to a great instance of Video Game Cruelty Punishment as they're then killed immediately for this. Upon respawning, they decide this time to "take him alive"- "You hear that, motherfucker? You're about to spend some time in Space Guantanamo."
 * BIRD!
 * WHAT'S RUNNING?! WHAT'S RUNNING?!
 * "Lani! Let me ride you like a horse!"
 * Forklift Antics.

Lani: Da da da da, da da da DAAAA,

Lani: I'm gonna kill them with a forklift!"

"Taka: "Lani, Lani, let me ride you like a horse." Beat Kaiser: "What.""
 * Followed immediately by:

"Gan: You're a hero to Reach, for killing an Elite.
 * Immediately following the destruction of Lani, Taka, said Forklift, and the Covenant Elite that was killed in the ensuing explosion:

Lani: Where are my virgins?!"

"Kaiser: "There is no cure for Plasma AIDS." Taka: "Except More cowbells."
 * The guys constantly hitting on Kat.
 * Interrogations with TFS...
 * "He punched Hero Truck!"
 * You are the Naruto of Halo Reach!
 * You will be the Master Chief one day. Believe it!
 * "What works? Teamworks!" "What's up? Shut up!"
 * "The ways of their people are shooting them with bullets!"
 * "1, 2, 3... Beautiful!" In perfect stereo.
 * "The safety bubble is down, I feel cold."
 * The guys finally telling Gan to "shut the hell up" with the gay jokes.
 * Made even funnier when Lani chimes in with "I thought you people were supposed to be jolly."
 * Plasma Launcher, the worst STD:

(Taka starts singing)

Gan: "Oh hey, look at that, a grenade fell by you."

(Throws grenade, which kills Taka)"

"Lani: WAIT! OH LORD! I MADE A HORRIBLE ERROR!"
 * "I got a rock"
 * "OH SHIT!"
 * "I got it! NO!"
 * The many hit and runs in "Tip of the Spear 1"
 * While it's not a hit-and-run, it is a vehicle moment- Lani decides to do a spectacular plummet off a cliff... with Kaiser as his unwitting victim passenger. The car explodes for no adequate reason, only serving to prove that even in the future, Every Car Is a Pinto.
 * The Epic Fail that was blowing up the Covenant Anti-Air guns. Both times.
 * And Lani getting double-killed by the second turret!
 * Lani's "YOU FOOL!" moment.
 * Lani's horrific experiences with vehicles and explosions in "Tip of the Spear 2", including:
 * 1) Stealing the one remaining Ghost with a triumphant cry of "Got it! See ya, suckers!" to the rest of the players, only to instantly crash and be destroyed by a host of Jackals and Elites.
 * And Gan counting down how long he had left, and getting it right!
 * 1) Stealing another hover-bike and zooming ahead alone, right into the middle of an enemy horde, which included numerous tanks.

"Kaiser: Oh God, did we loose Taka? Lani: GOOOOSSSSEE!!!
 * 1) Destroying the enemy AA gun but dying in the explosion. He respawns...only to immediately be killed again by a large piece of debris.
 * Gan killed the other guys in the first few moments of part three of Tip of the Spear and they couldn't respawn.
 * "Tactical error. I didn't look up."
 * "I thought the planet had a ceiling for a moment."
 * "SAD FOR YOU!"
 * While playing "Long Night of Solace", Taka gets shot down during the space fight, and the others react:

Gan: We lost Porkins.

Lani: GOOOOSSSE!!!

Taka: I'd be okay with being Goose."

"Lani: Don't worry, I'll protect you! [Hits Kaiser in the back of the head] Kaiser: God damn it!"
 * "All for one and none for Kaiser!"
 * On "Exodus", when they're heading out of the building with the Suicide Grunts, Kaiser takes several hits from the Brutes, so Lani says this:

"Taka: "Hey hey hey! Who's driving that thing?" Lani (with Kaiser on the Warthog's gun): "Me." *scoots off* Taka: "Let me get in the passenger seat, you dick!" Lani (total deadpan): "I don't think that will aid us in any way, shape or form.""
 * Possible arc words for the entire TFS Let's Play series: "There's subtlety, and then there's Taka."
 * "Sorry, do you not like pure energy to the face? Most people don't. ...guess you're just status quo."
 * Speaking of Taka when he makes "that" scream this troper can't help but laugh. (someone really needs to make a montage of all the times he does it)
 * Vehicle Antics in Exodus Part 3:

"Taka: Drive closer, I want to hit them with my sword!"
 * Taka then drives up to Gan on a Mongoose and says, "Get on the back stheat, sthailor!" to which Gan responds with a resounding "No!"
 * Taka keeps going over his song limit and keeps ticking off the others.
 * When he finally starts singing "Springtime for Hitler", Gan resolves to kill him, even though they're trying to fight off some Thrustpack Elites.
 * When the group is about to board the Falcons for the flying part of "Exodus", they beg Gan not to shoot them down like he did on "Tip of the Spear". When they reach the first rooftop with evacuees fleeing the Brutes, one of the Brutes shoots Gan and kills him, forcing him to watch while the others ride out the level. He's even the first to admit that it was karma.
 * Gan gets stuck in Lani's elevator.
 * Taka, while riding in the Falcon on "New Alexandria", gives this request:

"Gan: All right Lani, set us down. Lani: There's a red dot, I want to make sure it stays red. Gan: You...what? Lani With blood."
 * "That Brute should pitch for the Sox."
 * Whenever Taka rushes headfirst into a situation, hilarity will ensue.
 * Kaiser admitting to blowing up Gan's Falcon in "New Alexandria".
 * And Gan's reaction.
 * The group realizing that they're fighting four Hunters at Club Errera.
 * While landing at Club Errera:

"Taka: MW-HA-HA! Mine now!
 * The group's reaction to  may cause an internal Dude, Not Funny moment for a viewer. On the one hand, , on the other, the group's reactions are hilarious, especially Taka's singing.
 * The whole of trying to keep the Scorpion tank intact to get an achievement during "The Package", where they get wiped out three times. And then, when they think they're in the clear, another revenant appears and kills the tank.
 * Taka, using the hijacked revenant to kill Covenant inside the base...as well as running over his teammates.

[backs over Lani, killing him]

Lani: God dammit Taka!

[fires the cannon at an Elite Kaiser just killed, taking out Kaiser]

Kaiser: God dammit Taka!

[Nearly runs over Gan]

Gan: Oh, my god, Taka, stop killing everyone!

Lani: Get the fuck out of there! [Lani boards the revenant's passenger seat] Okay, now keep going."

"Lani: Wait Taka's standing there defenseless. Gan: It's fine. Lani: I know. *betrays Taka* Had to be done. *Taka re-spawns" Gan: Actually, good point. I gotta get him one. *throws grenade* *betrayal* Entirely worth it."
 * Taka's controller dies.

"Taka Wait for me! Everyone else NO!"
 * Taka has fallen behind

"Lani: Uh-oh, shit's going down! Carter: What is this, Dot? [A hidden door opens] Gan: That's a door, Carter. Lani:...KILL IT!"
 * After Gan has been complaining about Carter for a while, a noise is heard in the game causing Noble Team to snap to attention:

"Taka: I'm going to get the one on the far right. Gan: Alright, I'm heading back to the one on the top. Lani: Okay, I'll die. [A Phantom fires a plasma blast at him] Lani: AH! Oh, God, I will die!"
 * Team Four Star is setting up the turrets to defend.

"[Dot's image blinks] Gan: Blink blink blink. Blink blink blink blink. [Taka begins meowing Mister Sandman] Gan: No! God, you turn everything into a song. Stop it! Stop! Stop! Lani: God, I'm supposed to be the one with the background in musical theater."
 * Super Magnet Ass.
 * While at the loading screen for

"Lani: Avoid those. At all cost. [A Scarab smashes down in front of them] Lani: OH DEAR GOD! Gan: Uh, yeah, that's a Scarab!"
 * While Gan is driving a Mongoose and Lani is in the back when some Covenant drop pods hit the ground in front of them:

"Gan: Oh, you know what else there is here, Lani? Lani: What else? Gan: Forklift. [Forklift explodes] Gan: Never mind. Lani: Is it dead? Gan: Yeah, they knew our plan. Lani: THOSE MONSTERS! Our plan hinged on the forklift working."
 * Upon seeing a forklift:

"Lani: Don't use it on anything smaller than a house. Kaiser: So, Your Mom and up? Gan: Oh, damn. Taka: Hey don't make fun of his mom. I sleep with her."
 * The team are discussing a Spartan Laser that Kaiser has:

"Gan: What up hammer guy. Shotgun beats hammer. Shotgun beats-- [Lani runs up and stabs the Brute] Lani: SWORD BEATS HAMMER! SWORD BEATS HAMMER! SWORD BEATS HAMMER!"
 * While fighting a Brute Chieftain:

"Taka: "Hey, I found a SPARTAN Laser!" Lani, who abandoned it: "Yeah, it's got like one shot left. Try to hit that Wraith way in the back that's peppering us with--" Gan: "He hit the ground.""
 * In the final level  and proceed to moan and groan about it until they have to restart the level.
 * Made even more funny by the fact that the first one to die, is Gan. And he dies in the most noobish way possible and spends the rest of the level beating himself up about it. It's fucking awesome. Too bad the level restarts, giving Gan a second chance.
 * Lani: Kaiser, you went too early. If you had a girlfriend she'd be very disappointed.
 * During "Lone Wolf" (and paraphrased from memory):

"Gan: Oh no, Taka, there's an elite behind you! *shoots Taka in the back of the head* Taka: What? He must be invisible! *drops back, whining about invisible elites while Gan snickers. Moments later, Gan is shot in the back of the head* Taka: Oh, he got you too, Gan."
 * In Nightfall Part 2

TFS Let's Play - Serious Sam 3
"GanXingba as Master Chief.
 * The trailer for the Serious Sam 3 Let's Play, introducing their characters:

Takahata101 as Serious Sam.

Lanipator as Santa Claus.

And KaiserNeko as ... Some Gay...Nightclub guy?"

"Taka: (Tweeting) In desert. LOL. Lani: Skull... Taka: #SkullouttanowhereLOLwtf? Gan: That's a long hashtag."
 * The gang's commentary during the opening cinematic is hilarious on it's own, including...
 * Takahata101 Stops to Tweet:

"Lani: "Black in Black". Yeah, go Taka.
 * Taka accidentally says the opening theme should be "Black in Black", leading to Gan and Lani poking fun at him.

Gan: Classic by DC/DC."

"Taka: "Hey guys, I'm still in the building, where are you?" Gan: "Down the stairs! You were in the stairwell! How did you screw that up?! All you had to do was go down the stairs!" Kaiser, having respawned: "Hey, I found Taka, you guys!" Gan: "All you had to do is go down the stairs!..." Lani: "So far, body count? Lani: two. Kaiser, negative one. Taka? Stairs.""
 * Before the credits even finish, Kaiser manages to kill himself. How'd he do this? He jumped off a building!
 * Then Taka gets hung up on the stairs while Lani and Gan descend. Lani kills the second enemy of the game.

"Lani: It's like Pele. GOOOOAL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!"
 * The first minute of gameplay in Cairo Part 1 has them playing soccer with a monster's eyeball that Santa Lani ripped out.

"Lani: I got it's heart! Gan: Nice! Wait, are you using your bare hands? Lani: Kali ma! KALI MAAAAAAA!!!"
 * When Lani melee kills the first headless gunner of the game by ripping out it's heart:

"Gan: It's Taka, shoot him! Lani: Put Taka down before he can hurt you! Taka: I get it. The joke is because they sound like me, right? Kaiser: It's like in Left 4 Dead 2 when he grabs a Chainsaw!"
 * During Cairo: Part 1, near the end, they encounter headless kamikaze enemies screaming "AAAAAAGH!". They immediately compare it to Taka's Screaming Warrior tendencies during previous Let's Plays.

"Taka: Shoot them in the testicles"
 * Right at the end an army of the kamikazes come cresting over a pile of rubble, as the guys back off Gan states happily how cathartic the experience is, the clincher however is the last words of the part:

"Taka: We're fighting The Rock!
 * In The Library: Part 2, TFS fights the boss, a giant centaur-like scorpion with machine guns in its pincers.

Gan: Ah, Scorpion King joke. I remember 1999.

Kaiser: That was in 1999?

Gan: Yeah, it was a long fucking time ago.

Lani: Yeah, it was early 2000 at least.

Kaiser: 1999 was a long fucking time ago?!

Taka: Yeah, this is what it feels like to get old, Kaiser.

Lani: Hey, guys, remember VHS tapes?

Gan: This guy sure doesn't. Or if he does, he's not very happy about it."

"Kaiser: I have 2 health left. Gan: [Who has 48] 2? Damn. Lani: I have 10 armor and 23 health left. Taka: I have 57 health. [They round the corner, seeing a large group of headless pistol mooks] Kaiser: FUUUUCK!"
 * In The Streets: Part 1, TFS goes through a long wide corridor where they get nearly killed. They begin counting off their health stats.

"Gan: Oh, my God! Armor! Run run run run! [A Sirian werebull bursts out of a cargo crate] OH, COME ON!"
 * After fighting off the above mentioned mooks, Gan's health is seriously depleted when he sees some armor and health at the end of the wall.

"Lani: Okay, so my question is who's the guy responsible for bioengineering the scorpions with the chainguns in the claw? Gan: I think we should hire 'em. Lani: Sir, we would like to open negotiations. This is an--[Scorpion opens fire on Lani] AH, SHOW OF GOODWILL DENIED!"
 * When fighting another giant scorpion:

"Gan: WHAT?! WHAT?! Did you see that?! Lani: I did see that on my little cursor thing. This thing fucking hates you. Taka: Gan, stop sucking at this game! Gan: You're not evening fighting it! You're just running away! Lani: It's a legitimate strategy. Man, this thing is easy, I don't know what you guys are talking about.
 * During the boss fight in The Streets: Part 2, Gan gets killed by the boss, and after respawning, is almost instantly spawn killed.

[Just as Lani says that, it turns to face him. Lani immediately starts running.]

Lani: OH, GOD, IT'S FOCUSING ON ME NOW!

[Lani is killed]"

"Kaiser: Uh-oh. Gonna have to censor that for Blip."
 * In Tentacopter: Part 1, Lani upon seeing the eponymous tentacopter: "I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going!"
 * Overpass: Part 1
 * Taka stating he's going away to get some carrots.
 * The level's opening cutscene, where the gang meets the new enemy introduced for this level, the harpy. That is completely naked. Kaiser puts it best.

"Gan: I think we got him. Boys, we got him! [Lani and Kaiser start cheering] Taka: U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!"
 * TFS proving that their mastery of the Brick Joke extends beyond abridging after fighting off the first Biomech:

"Lani: Oh, he does not like C4! I threw two of those things and he just turned to dust. Taka: Good job, Lani. [Beat] Lani, you get a cookie! Lani: Yeah!"
 * After killing the second Biomech:

"Oh, God, homicidal Takas! And these headless things! I'm just-I don't even-God damn it!
 * Overpass: Part 2, has Team Four Star's struggles to take down one of Mental's cruisers, which is sending down ground forces. Hilarious moments follow when Lani is trying to fight off/evade the ground forces:

Oh, God, what is that sound? What is it throwing do--IT'S THROWING DOWN THE BULLS!"

"Gan: Well, that was an adventure. [enemies appear] Oh, more adventure! Kaiser: Always more adventure. Adventure Time! Come on, grab your friends! Lani: We'll go to very distant lands, with Lani the human and Kaiser the cat and...Taka the...guy and...Gan the asshole! Taka: Taka the robot who knows where it's at!"
 * After clearing a particularly long wave of enemies at the beginning:

"Lani: When you get to hell, you tell Satan that you rode shotgun!"
 * Right after that, Lani plays off of Taka switching to the double-barrel shotgun with this quote from Hobo with a Shotgun:

"Lani: It's like a more adult oriented Duck Hunt. Quack quack quack quack dilu-dilu-dilu-dilu-dilu! Kaiser: Scree! Scree! Gan: Except you don't have that stupid dog laughing at you. Mocking you! Kaiser: Yeah, but now there's just Taka. [Taka laughs evilly]"
 * When they enter the boss zone, all four realize that what's about to happen is going to suck hard. And then a wave of harpies appear, leading them astray as to what's really about to happen. Everyone is quite surprised by this.
 * While fighting the swarm of boobies harpies in the boss zone:

"Gan: "Oh, I can only spectate from Kaiser's perspective, oh wait-- Ah-ha!, there we are. There's Lani... and there is the Taka. Let's see how Taka does, let's-- I'm gonna critique everything you do, Taka. ... Taka, look at the enemy. The enemy. The enemy. There it is. Pull the trigger... Any time... Okay, that's the wall. Try using the--oh, nope, that didn't work." Taka: "I have it's head!""
 * At the beginning of "Straight Outta Cairo, Part 1", Gan gets horribly out of position and depletes his remaining lives, leaving him in spectator mode. Whilst the video depicts Lani's video capture, we get the following over voice chat:

"Taka: Goodbye guys! I will always remember you! Lani: I just want to see it say "Takahata101 was killed by..." ...oh, fuck, it didn't happen. Taka [Off screen]: Okay, guys, there's something up here! And I don't know what it is. [Taka, off screen, immediately begins firing, and screaming in fear] Lani as Mr. Popo: Hi."
 * In Straight Outta Cairo, Part 2, TFS finds a lot of ammo in a corridor. They immediately realize something bad is coming.
 * In Straight Outta Cairo, Part 3, in the caverns under the Sphinx Team Four Star has to jump a rising pillar which Gan, of all people, keeps failing to do succeed. Taka is the first to do it.

"Gan: I love killing fat people. Taka: Whoa, what?
 * In Ye Old Ruins, Part 1, when TFS encounters a very large foe with rockets attached to its arm, and Gan reveals his disturbing dislike of fat people.

Kaiser: Geez, man.

Gan: I mean, it's not like I've got bodies hidden out behind my apartment building or anything.

Lani: That would be conspicuous.

Taka: And they're fat bodies too, Gan. Shit, that has to be a big ass hole.

Kaiser: I am so glad I'm losing weight.

Lani: I am really happy the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't happened yet, Gan, because you would be surrounded by fucking Boomers."

"Taka: I'm still in the tunnels guys, where are you? Lani: Movin' right along. In search of good times, good news, good friends can't lose, you know, et cetra. Later, once Lani and Gan find the exit, revealing Kaiser had gotten out of the tomb before them Lani: Taka, havin' fun down there? Taka: Not really, I'm alone with them now. They wanna make me their king. I'm scared. Gan: Look, just talk really firmly to them, like "Down! Sit! Heel!" c'mon, you can do it. Lani: I expect you to ride out of that tomb on a sled pulled by them. (Beat) Now the sled will have to be makeshift, because I'm pretty sure you won't find a sled down there."
 * In Ye Olde Ruins, Part 2, Taka gets hung up in a tomb full of monkey-like monsters, and the rest of the team offers him no help whatsoever.

"Gan: Oh, wait, we're supposed to find something to put in there. Kaiser: Is it my dick? I bet it's my dick. Lani: Knowing this game, probably."
 * Upon discovering how to open the door:

"Lani: Okay, everybody reconvene at the place where we're supposed to shove our dicks in the hole. Taka: I'll get right on that. Kaiser: So, Your Mom's place. Lani: See, I knew you were going to say that. Taka: Whose mom?
 * Later, after collecting all the key stones:

Kaiser: Yes."

"Lani: Oh, God, fat guys everywhere in there! Do not go in there! It's like they just closed the buffet! Taka: "Fat guy in a little--" SHIT!"
 * While fighting a fat guy, Lani begins signing "Fat Guy in a little coat".
 * When they're fighting two fat guys:

"Gan: Alright, I'm gonna try to solo this boss here, no pOOHHHMYYYGOD."
 * in Ye Olde Ruins, Part 3, due to their lack of coordination (and Lani and Kaiser ending up suiciding in an attempt to leave a room), each member of the team ends up riding the elevator back to the surface alone. This means that Gan, the first up, had to deal with the level boss (a "khnum") without any backup while the others bickered over the elevator.

"Lani: [finally getting involved] "Hey come back here, Santa's got a gift for you! ...It's my dick!
 * In the meanwhile, the others shuffle around in the ruins, trying to get up the lift. Lani's anguished wailing as first Kaiser and then Taka abandon him underground must be heard to be believed.

Taka: [deadpan] "That's a terrifying gift for Santa to give."

Lani: "Well, what can I say? I'm a terrible Mall Santa.""

"Lani: "KILL HER! KILL THE BITCH! LIGHT HER UP oh okay hold off."
 * In "The Dark Bride," TFS fight, well, the Dark Bride, who levitates, has Combat Tentacles, uses Mind Over Matter powers to throw rocks and is only vulnerable at certain times. Lani has some very specific opinions on how to deal with her:

Gan: "You know, this isn't Arkham City, you don't have to call her a bitch every time."

Lani: "Okay: LIGHT HER UP! KILL THE CUNT!!""

"Gan: I think I am in love with this gun, guys."
 * In "The Dark Bride, Pt. 2," we get a lot of this, especially after they finally get to use the minigun.

"Lani: I AM BULLETPROOF! YA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA! YA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA! (Pauses for a few more seconds of carnage) Pullin' this trigger til it goes "click", Motherfucker! (Another pause for more carnage) I ain't heard a "click" yet, I'm not lettin' go!"
 * Followed immediately by Lani's impression of the Heavy as he mows down numerous Mooks with glee:

Evolution IRIFF

 * The ending.
 * All of the jokes about Yamcha being useless.