The Villain



The Villain, AKA Cactus Jack, is a 1979 comedy parodying western films in general. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as Handsome Stranger (that's literally his name), who is escorting Charming Jones (played by Ann Margret) so that she can claim money left by her father, Parody Jones. Avery Simpson (Jack Elam), the corrupt town boss forced to hand the money over, wants it back and so hires/conscripts an inept outlaw named Cactus Jack Slade (Kirk Douglas) into stealing it back. What then unfolds is literally a live-action Roadrunner cartoon.

No relation whatsoever to the wrestler Mick Foley.

For people that are bad guys, see Villains.


 * Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Charming is not subtle about what she wants.
 * Or at least
 * Bullet-Proof Fashion Plate: Handsome Stranger never gets dirty. Ever.
 * Calling Your Attacks: Cactus Jack does this in a saloon.
 * Chaste Hero: Handsome Stranger.
 * Cool Horse: Cactus Jack's super-genius horse Whiskey.
 * Handcar Pursuit
 * Harmless Villain: Cactus Jack is a horrible brigand. He isn't especially dangerous - he just isn't very good at it.
 * His Name Really Is "Barkeep": Handsome Stranger.
 * Injun Country: Its border is marked by a literal white line drawn across the desert.
 * Insistent Terminology: "Cactus Jack Slade!"
 * Meaningful Name: Handsome Stranger was named after his father, whom he never met.
 * Charming sort of falls into this category as well. She was named after the first thing her father said after she turned out to be a girl.
 * Painted Tunnel, Real Train: One of Cactus Jack's ill-fated attempts to capture Handsome and Charming.
 * Powder Trail: Another of Cactus Jack's attempted schemes leads to this.
 * Sticky Situation: Yet another of Cactus Jack's schemes, which of course leads to him trying to figure out what went wrong by standing in a puddle of rubber cement on a railroad crossing.
 * Up to Eleven: Handsome has a seven-shooter.
 * Villain Protagonist: Says so right there in the title!