The Alleged Car/Quotes

"The police witness in court had referred to it as "the alleged car" and the name had subsequently stuck. She was particularly fond of her alleged car for many reasons. If one of its doors, for instance, fell off, she could put it back on herself, which was more than you could say for a BMW."

- The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul

"Yup, as the new girl, she'll fit right in by driving Fred Sanford's truck."

- Rifftrax, Twilight

""My old man's spare tires were actually only tires in the academic sense. They were round, they had once been made of rubber.""

- Ralphie, A Christmas Story

"''Piece-of-shit car, I got a piece-of-shit car

The fucking pile of shit never gets me very far

My car's a big piece of shit cuz the shocks are fucking shot

And the seatbelt's fucking broken; I got to tie it in a knot (It's a piece of shit!)

I can't see through the windshield, cuz it's got a big fucking crack

And the interior smells real bad cuz my friend puked in the back (It's a piece of shit!)''"

- Adam Sandler, "Ode to My Car"

"''I like driving in my car.

It's not quite a Jaguar.

I bought it at Primose Hill.

From a bloke from Brazil.''"

- Madness, "Driving In My Car"

"'' STUPID CAR!

You never get me very far, when

You decide driving to the store is a mortal sin.

PIECE OF CRAP!

I guess you want a piece of me,

Since you're leaving all your pieces in the middle of the street,

You HEAP OF JUNK!

I don't know what I'm gonna do;

I just hope that I don't have to take another day of driving YOU...! ''"

- Psychostick, "Two Ton Paperweight"

"Mark: How could you run out of gas?

Andy: The gauge is busted. When I fill up, I zero out the trip odometer so I know how many miles before I need to fill up again.

Mark: So what happened?

Andy: The trip odometer's busted too. Piece of garbage car."

- The Pendragon Adventure

"''Satan's on my engine, Beelzebub's in my trunk

Mephistopheles at the wheel because I'm too gosh darn drunk

Baal's my passenger and Lucifer's beside him

I got demons in the coolant, I got bats in the transmission

This Escort needs an exorcism, Pan is to blame

Got a car full of pain!''"

- The Arrogant Worms, "Car Full of Pain"