The Wheel of Time/Funny

Book 1, The Eye of the World
"Perrin: I guess I'm going with you, at that. Good to talk these things out before making a decision, isn't it?"
 * Mat's Establishing Character Moment. In the very beginning of the book, he tells his younger sisters some story about ghost hounds. They don't buy it. So, to scare them, he takes the dogs of the very large (but good-humored) village blacksmith and his equally large (ill-tempered) wife, coats them with flour, and lets them loose. Mat's response when the predictable happens? "How was I to know they'd run home?" He spends the rest of the time in the village avoiding the wife.
 * Rand getting caught still shouting after the rest of the crowd watching Padan Fain has quieted down.
 * Just after Egwene jumps the gun and makes his decision for him:

Book 2, The Great Hunt
"Thom Merrilin: I may be a fool, but I intend to be a live fool."
 * Rand's difficulties with the Fal Dara servants, especially the maids trying to see him naked.
 * Verin interrupting the reveal to Rand that he's the Dragon Reborn to quibble over a figure of speech.
 * Rand's efforts to avoid getting mixed up in the political games of Cairhien, which just result in everyone becoming terrified that he's an extremely savvy player who keeps all his cards hidden and has friends in very high places.
 * This gem from Thom:

Book 3, The Dragon Reborn

 * Min warns Perrin to run if he sees "the most beautiful woman in the world." Perrin immediately assumes it's because Min wants him for herself.

Book 4, The Shadow Rising
"sa'sara (sah-SAHR-rah): An indecent Saldaean dance, outlawed by a number of Saldaean queens, but to no avail. Saldaean history records three wars, two rebellions, and countless unions and/or feuds between noble houses, as well as innumerable duels, sparked by women dancing the sa'sara. One rebellion was supposedly quelled when a defeated queen danced it for the victorious general; he married her and restored her throne. This tale is not found in any official history and has been denied by every queen of Saldaea."
 * Perrin is getting up after being bedridden to heal up after being shot, Faile doesn't believe he is healed and tries to send him back to bed. She ends up having to wrestle him to the ground and pin him...and then Mistress al'Vere walks in to find Faile lying on top of Perrin on her kitchen floor...
 * The entry for the sa'sara dance in the glossary.

Book 5, The Fires of Heaven
Book 6, Lord of Chaos: ""Do you have any idea how long it takes to dig graves for twenty-three oak trees?"
 * After Rand follows Aviendha through the gateway, a Maiden comes for Rand. Asmodean gets rid of her by informing her that Rand and Aviendha wanted privacy. Inside 15 minutes, ALL the Maidens were outside the window heckling. Apparently, some of the things they suggested could startle one of the most evil men in history! Rand's reaction to this news was also hilarious.
 * This troper couldn't stop laughing at Nynaeve ordering Uno to rein in his language, and the latter's visibly pained efforts to do so, that she constantly feels the need to keep reminding him.
 * Davram Bashere's story about an old general of his who ordered them to cut down a stand of old oak trees because they were looking at him...and then demanding they be given decent funerals.


 * The scene in Salidar where Mat makes a complete ass out of himself by trying to boss around Egwene, Nynaeve, and Elayne, along with claiming not to believe that Egwene and making it clear that he expects them to follow his every order. And speaking of asses, Nynaeve's indignant reaction is to kick Mat's so hard that he's still limping several chapters later.
 * The funnier bit follows when the girls realise.

Book 7, A Crown of Swords

 * The whole "Swovan Night" sequence, in which Mat and Birgitte go out drinking, and Elayne gets drunk by proxy.
 * Assuming you can get over the Unfortunate Implications of the whole Mat/Tylin thing, the bit where Mat finally explains to Elayne what's going on...
 * When Nynaeve insists that she and Lan get married, Lan offers up a few protests, such as the fact that he's now bonded to Myrelle, who would feel everything he does, including, ahem, the honeymoon. Nynaeve's answer to that? "Is there any way to make sure she knows it's me?" Even Lan thought this was hilarious.

Book 9, Winter's Heart
"Lan had begun an intense study of the contents of his pipe's bowl. "You are still beautiful, Rand," she said gently "Ha!" Min said. "That face would make a goat faint!""
 * The whole scene where Lan and Nynaeve witness Rand confess his feelings towards Aviendha, Elayne and Min (and their acceptance of that)


 * There's also the part, after Min, Aviendha and Elayne bonding Rand, that Elayne decides that she's going to jump Rand's bones. This leads Brigitte, Min and Aviendha to decide that they need to get very drunky, very quickly as they can feel everything that's going on with Elayne and Rand.

Book 10, Crossroads of Twilight

 * Mat's attempt to find Tuon and Selucia when they get separated from each other. He closes his eyes, spins around, and begins walking in a randomly-selected direction. Right into a VERY large man coming out of a tavern. He begins running in the same direction.

Book 12, The Gathering Storm
"Mandevwin: "Does this mean I can go back to my aged aunt?" Mat: "You don't have an aged aunt!""
 * The chapter with Mat, where he plans an elaborate raid to find a supposed Darkfriend, including character sheets.
 * This Troper's favourite part was Mandevwin's "cover story" about leaving his aged aunt when she began to confuse him with the family dog.

"Mat: I'm not giving up gambling. Or drinking. Talmanes: So I believe you've told me. Three or four times so far. I half believe that if I were to peek into your tent at night, I'd find you mumbling about it in your sleep. "I'm going to keep bloody gambling! Bloody, bloody gambling and drinking! Where's my bloody drink? Anyone want to gamble for it?""
 * And a little later: Mandevwin: "I get to be the Warder next time."
 * Pretty much any chapter with Mat in it is hilarious in that book. But Talmanes' deadpan snarking takes the cake.


 * The chapter prior to that where he tried to explain to Talmanes exactly what it was like to try and reason with a woman practically had this troper on the floor. (It was certainly apt when it came to describing Jordan women.)
 * "Welcome to Hinderstap. We will eat your bloody face if you stay after dark. Try the pies. They are baked fresh daily."
 * How about the scene where Cadusane decides normal torture won't work on Semirhage (a nasty evil person who developed most modern torture techniques) and promptly takes the Forsaken over her knee and spanks her?
 * Made even funnier when Semirhage's POV shows that it was beginning to work.
 * And even funnier because Cadsuance got the idea by wondering "how would I break myself?" Half-admission to being an egomaniac, perhaps?

Book 13, Towers of Midnight
"Perrin realized that he wasn't going to get any more tea."
 * "Dear Bloody Royal Pain in the Ass..."
 * Also, the fact that Sanderson made Mat half-literate. First off, he has the memories of several not-quite past lives: shouldn't one of them at least be literate? Another thing, previous letters from him did not have any problems with spelling.
 * I think that was mostly for Elayne and Brigitte's benefit. He was trying to write so they would have no doubts, I interpreted this as Mat just playing up the illiterate sheepherder stereotype.
 * Also,, and his conversation with Setalle Anan about boots. And his reaction to . And Moiraine's reaction to learning about him and Tuon.
 * Perrin performing a marriage ceremony and floundering through it
 * "I caught a badger. Want to let it go on the village green?"
 * Followed shortly by, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to catch a badger on short notice?"
 * and 's Love At First Sight and subsequent 'courtship', particularly his woefully inept attempt to have tea with her.
 * Particularly when the usually very vampy  starts acting ga-ga over him - "He's like something perfect from the Age of Legends, left behind to worship!" Man-eater in love?
 * Lan repeatedly trying to get various Borderlanders to not join him, and their repeated insistence that they were merely traveling in the same direction as him.
 * The whole scene with the Aes Sedai leaving Mat's camp, at the end when Leilwin and Domon decide to leave as well, Mat describes it as wanting to dance a jig in happiness
 * Mat irritably declaring that just because he's married a noble doesn't mean he is one, and Thom pointing out that it actually does.
 * After Morgase's freak-out when she learns Gaebril was really Rahvin.
 * After Morgase's freak-out when she learns Gaebril was really Rahvin.