Homestuck/WMG/Jossed

Lord English is...

 * White Text Guy
 * Alternate Future Dream John
 * Andrew's long magic dog.
 * Chaotic Good. Mostly because it'd be slightly ironic (LE = CG, hur hur hur!), no other good reason.
 * The reader. Homestuck chain of command: You -> reader in Land of Stumps and Dismay -> Andrew Hussie -> Exile -> Server player -> Client player. Read this page, and decide where Lord English falls.
 * Andrew Hussie. Him not being Lord English was just some kind of Red Herring or something. He will shapeshift to a form in which the coat will fit perfectly.
 * The REAL John. I remember there being a WMG that states that there are two Johns and the one we know is not the real one. Lord English's power will be described as "John's power Divided By Zero". Alternatively, Lord English is some kinda past/future/badass/male Jade.
 * Gamzee. Said to be the most important character? Check. Being the guy who dealt the most damage? Check. Epic rampage? Check. Cairo Overcoat? His ancestor is the enormous Grand Highblood, so when Gamzee grows up, he may be able to fit into it.
 * The EXALTED RULER.
 * Bec. Bec is a sentient being with god-like time/space based powers who probably can't be killed, and eats green glowing radioactive things for breakfast. That's all there really is to say on the matter.
 * ...actually one of the good guys.
 * ...all the Felt.
 * ...not a good guy or a bad guy. He simply eats dead universes, not unlike how humans eat steak or chicken: it's just sustenance.
 * Pickle Inspector. Because PI is tall and thin, and we don't know the scale for t. And since PI used himself to make the universe, he is "already here" indeed.
 * A Monster Clown Angel of Death Because a Joker is more powerful than an Ace, and the Alternian concept of angels is that they are just a form of demon that brings about the end.
 * The Frog / Bilious Slick
 * John's Dad - and he's looking to retire
 * Jade's penpal. They're the only two known characters who haven't been fully revealed yet, we know that the friend somehow got his/her hands on the kids' most powerful weapons, and we know that both of them are associated with the color green. Sure, it might not be the same shade, but let's not nitpick.
 * Rose.
 * fedorafreak. After being badass enough to survive for several hours on Skaia-smashed Earth, he is hit by Bec's huge fireball of destruction. However, he's so badass that instead of being incinerated, he absorbs the energy, connecting himself to the Green Sun and becoming extraordinarily powerful.

Jack Noir is a red herring
Gamzee is the real Big Bad.
 * Jossed.

Jade is from the future.
Her house is ludicrously futuristic, plus she has a teleporter and a holodeck. It's possible that she's from the future and is using her abilities to commune with the past. This also creates an interesting dynamic with John and Rose in the present and Dave introduced in the past.
 * [Funnily, this would be used for real later with Roxy and Dirk.]

Dave and Rose will go down to the dark realm while Jade will go up to Skaia with John.
We already know John is going up, and Rose is going down the tunnel in Jaspers' mausoleum. In addition, John and Jade seem to be the 'brighter' two of the four-John's 'problems' are largely trivial and Jade just seems too happy all the time. Dave and Rose, however, have more serious, darker if you will, problems. Dave must cope with his brother's puppet fetish-and it has been shown to be having some effect on him, in that he has had nightmares where Lil Cal talks to him and he wakes up in a cold sweat. Rose, meanwhile, has an alcoholic mother who actively seems to spite her (opposed to John's father's obliviousness) and sometimes even tries to give her alcohol herself.
 * Seems a bit unlikely thanks to; "A realm where four will gather, the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, and together they will Ascend."

Rose's Mom was trying to resurrect Jaspers
The setup in the lab is clearly hers, since she had direct passage to it in her room, and has been shown to have used it at least once. The Appearifier is locked on Jaspers, and the machine next to it attempts to produce a clone whenever the user tries to paradoxify Jaspers. The presence of Mutie seems to imply that this has already happened at least once. Plus, that outfit just screams "mad scientist".
 * The MEOW code is not for Jaspers, but rather, a DNA sequence that when combined with another creature, will grant them omnipotence.
 * The MEOW code is not for Jaspers, but rather, a DNA sequence that when combined with another creature, will grant them omnipotence.

Spades Slick is the EXALTED RULER of the Dark Kingdom
Similar to the above, but the dark ruler also has a nasty gash in one eye. Just like the one Spades recently received.
 * Additionally, this scar was not present until the intermission. It was Retconned in after Slick got it in the MC storyline.
 * Per Word of God, the monarch's scar should always have been there. Also, Spades just got stabbed in the eye; the "scar" is blood-splatter. Hussie's messing with us.
 * Though, once his eye was mended, the stitches follow the same path that the blood-spatter did. His effigy also showed more of a gash then a stab.
 * This is true. One idea on the forums is that the eye-stabbing cracked his carapace (which may help explain the ease with which Snowman.
 * It's understandable that he'd have a gash rather than a simple eye wound, though-- he got stabbed with a freaking lance.

In which we speculate wildly about the exile's origins

 * The Wayward Vagabond was once an Archagent, famous for for his harsh and unwavering agentship. He did not tolerate failure -- his exports of Woe and Oppression were always well above quota. Some say there was a terrible accident. Others that the pressures of his job caused his mind to snap. All we know is that one day he was found scrawling antiroyalist slogans on his cubicle walls while singing La Marseillaise. To avoid embarrassments, his underlings did the only humane thing, and threw him out into the desert to die.
 * Jossed. He was a Warweary Villein, who staged a Revolution against the Black and White royalty because of the war.
 * The Peregrine Mendicant was a war hero, champion of the Light Kingdom, instrumental in driving back the forces of Darkness in a thousand ferocious battles. Then the war ended, and she found she could never return home. 'We can't face this terrifying person!' the people of the Light Kingdom cried. 'Send her away, and her sword of darkness too!' The Peregrine marched voluntarily into exile to serve her people.
 * Jossed. She was a Mailwoman, the Parcel Mistress.
 * The yellow wanderer had a different name... until the day his family was gunned down by playing card-themed mobsters. On that day, he understood that there was no justice in the world but that you dispensed one bullet at a time. He became an instrument of punishment to punish evildoers for their crimes -- he became the Aimless Renegade!
 * Jossed. He was an Authority Regulator, which basically amounts to a policeman. Hence his clothing made of caution tape.

John is a Tomato in The Mirror.
The real John would have been able to lift the safe as Nanna predicted. The original is still around somehow, possibly a ghost, and is the one that drew the graffiti all over the posters. False memories caused the tomato to believe that Dad was a wacky street performer. The Magic 8-ball couldn't answer yes or no to "Is it John's birthday today?" because John has two birthdays.

John's real birthday is in December.
It's been brought up several times on this page, but here would be a good place to consolidate the evidence.
 * Jade's Magic Eight Ball gave the answer "not exactly" to her question of if today was John's birthday.
 * John having been born in December would put all four kids' birthdays in December (and all their Zodiac signs under Ophiucus, as mentioned above-- furthering the "413" pattern).
 * An offhand joke was made after John finished his second round of alchemy experimentation: "You'd almost think it was simultaneously your birthday, AND Christmas or something. Of course you know that is ridiculous and could never conceivably happen." The wording of this suggests that it could be either a) an oblique way of foreshadowing that John's birthday actually IS on Christmas, or b) a crack at the fact that, at the time that page was posted, it was approaching Christmas in Real Life while it was still April 13th in-story.

The name of Jade's planet...
...is the Land of Forge and Expanse. We know that the Forge has to be there, so it might as well go in the name. And a wide expanse is like open SPACE, geddit?
 * That, or in a cruel twist of fate, it's the land of Blood and Earth, with no mention of spatiality. Also, GristFest.

Jaspers is Rose's father.
She is the daughter of the Mad Scientists who created the appearifier, among other weird machines we've yet to see. In one unfortunate test run, Mr. Lalonde was accidentally transformed into a cat and they were unable to reverse the change. If Jaspers used to be a person, that explains why he is an apparently talking cat who wears tuxedos.

Their experiments were secret/probably illegal, and having a cat as a dad is just plain weird, so Jaspers became the "family pet." Miz Lalonde went overboard when he turned up dead because, well, he used to be her husband--she is understandably upset. Her drinking problem today is a result of all the stress that has built up over the years over not being able to tell Rose (or anyone) the truth; her grief explains the "absurd funeral service," the mausoleum, why the mausoleum is built over the entrance to the lab and why Miz Lalonde is trying to clone him. Incidentally, she must know that she can't actually resurrect him because the clones start off as embyros, so she is probably trying to make some sort of living memento.

This may or may not have been what he told Rose during their final psychoanalysis session together.

The world can, in fact, be saved
Nanna was pretty firm in her assertion that it couldn't... but our resident prognosticator, Jade, seemed to be under the impression that it could-- and Jade is usually right.
 * The only kink in this is that Nanna appears to have some manner of precognitive abilities as well.

The four guardians created this world. John, Jade, Dave and Rose will create a new world as its guardians.
Jade's dream shows that there is a chained mini-world attached to Prospit with two towers. Almost like a dandelion. The two towers correspond to Jade and John, who have direct contact with the other plane. The other towers belong to John's Dad, Rose's Mother, Bro and Bec. Each of the four towers will be "unlocked" by prototyping their symbols. Harlequins, Wizards, Puppets and... I dunno respectively freeing the baby Prospit of this generation.
 * The Dark Realm and Prospit each have a tether world, or moon. Likely with 2 spires each. This implies two kids go to the Dark Kingdom and the other two will head to Prospit. Implies that the Dark Kingdom two will be Dave and Rose.
 * [This WMG actually turned out to be half-correct, at least in inadvertently stumbling upon the point of the game.]

The fourth exile will have a monetary theme
She will wear a robe of stapled-together greenbacks to fit the four elements colour scheme.
 * More specifically, her civic obsession will be taxation.

The Felt will become very significant in the troll intermission
This is pretty much just a shot in the dark, but oh well. There has been discusion about the world ending in the trolls' session, such as here. Where have we heard of that before? That's right, Snowman. "If you kill her you destroy the universe." Coincidence? There's no such thing where Andrew is involved.

John and Jade are the King and Queen of Prospit, or the White pieces in chess. Rose and Dave are the King and Queen of the Dark Version of Prospit (whatever that is), or the dark pieces in chess
Seeing as how John and jade are connected to the same spiritual world outside Skaia, it's not a strech of the imagination to think that Rose and Dave also have spiritual avatars, but on a different planet. And going with the chess theme... There are two boys, and two girls. A King and a Queen for either side. Fate demands that they compete, even though they're all friends and working together. Besides, Rose was working in the future with a troll, and both Rose and Dave handled the trolls well. John and Jade were both annoyed by the harrassment and unable to handle them well. Rose and David's dark sides come through easily by thier ability to handle, and furthermore instruct evil!
 * According to the Dark Gods (via Rose), Dream!Dave is the "Prince of the Moon" - presumably Derse's moon. Extrapolating freely, this makes Dream!Rose the Princess of Derse's moon, and Dream!John and Dream!Jade the Prince and (late) Princess of Prospit's (late) moon. Whether this makes them the rightful heirs to the thrones of Prospit and Derse is a very good question, especially now that BK and BQ are dead, and WK and WQ abdicated. Jack you pretender!

Aradia committed suicide
She considered herself already doomed and saw no reason to keep on "living". A conversation with a kid may have accidentally prompted it by making her realize what she was missing compared to when she was flesh and blood. Jossed, as her robot exploding was due to Aradia being reincarnated, so she's very much flesh and blood now.

Jack Noir is Spades Slick in the past
Think about it: Jack Noir and the rest of the 'Expys' have the Midnight Crew motifs on their persons, and Jack Noir himself expresses a fondness to the name. Not to mention because of Slick's recent wounds, it's highly likely that it isn't the other way around.
 * Not only that, but the Midnight Crew intermission is shown to have taken place years in the future (but not many) by the appearance of the same type of past-future communications machine that the Wayward Vagabond came across. Also, both Jack Noir and Spades Slick have barcodes on their arms.
 * Also, at the end of the intermission Slick faces a(n) (SBURB? Skaianet?) interface that allows him to communicate with one of the trolls, and it's already been established that the trolls exist in a sort of backwards chronology. Not to mention that CG appears to be early on in his adventure (still in a house, Tier 1 Kernelsprite), and Slick stated that he had talked to the CG before - possibly as Jack Noir?
 * By Word of God, Jack Noir from the kids' session is different from Spades Slicks as Spades was Jack Noir from the trolls' session.

The largest meteor has not collided with Earth yet.
In the future, all the Exiles are on a older version of Jade's island home. Thing is, if the meteor had landed before, the whole island should have been squashed flat. The meteor taking a really long time to arrive is the only explanation I can think of.

After all, where do we get a definite time for its arrival? The meteor colour-code chart that shows Time to landing = colour shows blue as the top end of the scale. That is what the biggest meteor's colour was. For all we know, it was going to take so long to reach Earth that the predicted time went off the charts.
 * If this is true, this means the Exiles may have small problem on their hands.
 * Jossed in [S Jade: Enter]: Bec destroys the meteor with his First Guardian powers.

Jade's narcolepsy is actually her real and dream selves fighting over control of her
We saw in a recent update that when Dream Rose got Dream Dave's attention by tossing a ball of yarn at him, real-world Dave fell asleep instantly. This confirms that the kids' dream selves are awake when their real selves are asleep, and vice-versa. We also know that Jade's dream self has been active for some time... the dots are easy to connect.
 * Jossed starting here: Vriska was the cause of Jade's narcolepsy by using Jade as target practice for her "putting humans to sleep" power.

Jade's Kernelsprite will not be prototyped until AFTER she enters the Medium
Every time a prototyped Kernelsprite enters the medium, their properties gives both kingdoms more power. This both strengthens denziens and generally makes things more complicated for the players. prototyping Jade's sprite will be seen as holding on to the Idiot Ball, and thus undesireable.
 * Jossed in [S Jade: Enter]: Bec prototypes himself with Jade's kernel. As to whether or not Bec was holding the Idiot Ball... well, he is a First Guardian, but he's also a dog.

The contents of Jade's present to John is...

 * The Bunny. The same Bunny that Dave and Rose gave to John for his birthday, only upgraded with some unknown form of improvements to make it into the ULTIMATE BUNNY. This would make it the most powerful weapon usable with the Bunnykind Specibus, which was How Jack Noir was able to use it to fell the Black Queen. John is also going to end up using Bunnykind during the endgame. [This turned out to be the case.]
 * A pack of magician's trick cards. With his love of magic tricks, it would be a good gift for John, and if Jack Noir has the same ability to make cards into weapons that Spades Slick does, it would be a very deadly arsenal in his hands.
 * John's first shaving kit. He may not be old enough to shave just yet, but the day can't be that far off, especially since it seems to be a sign of mangrit-- John's father is passionate about the practice, so much so that he felt The Fatherly Gent's Shaving Almanac was important enough to leave in the safe for John. And it would suit the story's coming of age elements. Jade, being raised by her Gentleman Adventurer grandfather, would naturally assemble a wet shave kit, including shaving soap, aftershave, a badger hair brush, shaving mug, maybe a styptic pencil (safety first!)... and, of course, a razor. But not just any old razor. Occam's Razor.
 * In a throwback to Problem Sleuth, it could very well be the Tectrix of the Arbitor, also known as the Tectrixcalibur.

Feferi's lusus will be killed...
...by being decapited when she enters the Medium. There has to be a maximum range to the area that can be taken through, and it would be pretty much impossible for a creature that HUGE to fit inside it. I don't recall it ever being said that a prototyping had to be done before entering, and Feferi could use something inanimate for the first prototyping anyway, like John did. Two reasons for this theory: One, it would be something of a reference to this. Two, how else are they gonna kill that thing?


 * Jossed (somewhere): if a player enters the session with an un-prototyped kernel the game becomes unwinnable, and the trolls did win before having their prize destroyed by Jack.

Karkat is a member of the highest class of the blood caste system.
Andrew's said that Karkat's text et al are grey because "he's opted for blood anonymity". Between that and his open disgust with the aristocracy the obvious reason for it would be that he's a member of the lowest class and doesn't want anyone to know. But another reason could be that he's a Defector From Decadence who finds the other high class trolls he's known so loathsome that he'd rather pass as someone trying to hide how low-ranking they are than be associated with them. The reason the Thresh Prince is his hero is because he actually managed to get the blue-bloods he lived with to loosen up while Karkat just ended up giving up on the lot of them. But a few hints of his real rank occasionally show through, like in his insistance that he'd be the best leader.
 * I'd like to second this notion. Though the way I figured, it was less a Defector From Decadence and more that he wanted to be a leader without having the role handed to him just because of his blood - Similar to Nicolas Cage, which makes it all the more fitting given Karkat's love of guilty-pleasure films.
 * Jossed and inverted. He's so low he's considered a mutant. Which is whey he prefers an anonymous grey.

Karkat's blood color is, in fact, the highest blood in the blood caste system
Because that would be quite the plot twist. Also, then that would mean that, supposedly, the White Text Man is on a higher blood scale. That is, if he's a troll.
 * It wouldn't really mean that, because we don't know what color Karkat's blood is. It's not gray.

Future Dave triggered some Event Flags which would make it impossible for him to win the game as a player
I would surely expect that with all his level grinding and knowledge, Future Dave would be better equipped to win the game than Present Dave. So if it was an option, surely the best thing for him to do would be to shove Present Dave into the kernelsprite and take over (assuming he could convince the others to accept him doing this--so maybe convince Present Dave to prototype himself, or just throw something else in there and team up). Prototyping himself is almost the only option that denies him his level grinding.

Unless you think like a videogame. Hacking your save file in most Eastern RPGs and just changing the variable that stores your location to the first level would break the game. Odds are you'll reach some point where you can't move forward where you can't move forward because the event that was supposed to move you forward already happened. It's likely that Future Dave couldn't even leave LOHAC as himself, rather less take Dave's place... but as a Kernelsprite, there's apparently a built-in mechanism for eventually giving him the ability to accompany Dave anywhere he goes.


 * Jossed (somewhere): future-Dave was from a beta (doomed) timeline, and anyone who from a doomed timeline who rejoins the alpha timeline is doomed to die within a few hours. Future-Dave could only avoid it by self-prototyping with the kernel.

Vriska mind-controlled Karkat into blinding Terezi.
Vriska's a one-trick pony. She couldn't mind-control Aradia, so she attacked Aradia with someone who was controllable. She can't mind-control Terezi, so it's reasonable to assume she would use the same method. It's even possible that Karkat's invitation for Terezi to come live in his lawnring was foreshadowing that Karkat lives close enough to her to walk to her tree and stab her eyes out.
 * Alternatively, Vriska attempts to use the same trick twice. It fails when Karkat arrives at Terezi's hive and has the everloving crap beaten out of him. Terezi has just mentioned that she's capable of this, after all.
 * Jossed in [S Make her pay]: Vriska blinded Terezi indirectly via mind-controlling Tarvos.

Someone must die in order for a Dream Self to awaken.
From the ones we've seen, Dream John awoke when Dream Jade died, and Derse Dream Sollux awoke when the normal Sollux died. Prospit Dream Sollux may have already been awake (as Sollux references seeing the future), and Sollux was used to kill Aradia, so maybe he woke up when Aradia was killed. Dream Jade may have awoken when Grandpa died. Dream Rose awoke when Future Dream Rose 'ceased to exist' thanks to Future Dave/later Davesprite altering the timeline. Dream Dave has been awake all along but didn't know it, so this is more ambiguous...until you realize that Cal was alive in the Medium and is not when on Earth. Cal must have 'died' in Dave's meteor impact. Dream Terezi is...admittedly something of an abnormality, though it could be said that Aradia's death led to it. Dream Kanaya is referenced as being awake already, but we don't know much about Kanaya before the events immediately preceding the Trolls' Sgrub Session. Dream Vriska awoke immediately after a beatdown by Aradibot, so Normal Vriska may be dead. (This theory was posted soon after the [S] Make her pay Flash, incidentally.) Alternatively, one could also argue that Aradia's death led to it, but that is getting a little overused! Dream Gamzee, Dream Eridan, Dream Feferi, Dream Nepeta, Dream Karkat, Dream Tavros, and Dream Equius remain unexplained, and Dream Aradia does not exist, but it's possible that Sollux may not have been such an abnormal case of Dream Self-awakening after all...
 * Vriska survives (bottom corner) until the end of their session unless she somehow manages to pull a Sollux and come back.
 * Looks that way, since the Vriska that helped to fight the Black King was apparently Dream Vriska. Note the intact vision eightfold.
 * Jossed here: Kanaya's dream self was woken by Doc Scratch.

The ultimate alchemy is...
Creating a new universe. It takes a ton of grist and what could take more grist then that? The ultimate reward is getting to go there and repopulate but if you die against the black king Sburb can just wait until more life pops up.
 * Does this really count as a guess? I figured it was canon, since it's pretty much the only way to interpret the ======> to ==> switchover, and it seems to reflect the general consensus on the 9/18 update.
 * Jossed here: new universes are created by paradox-cloning frogs and breeding the frogs until the frog-god Billious Slick is born.
 * I thought the Ultimate Alchemy WAS the breeding of the Genesis Frog. Early on when John notices the cloning equipment Karkat or Vriska says its part of the Ultimate Alchemy. So wouldn't this be confirmed?

Jade's Magic Cue Ball and Magic-8 Ball will be Alchemized together.
So a Magic-8 Ball that you can the see the answers to, but is always wrong; and a Magic Cue-Ball that's always right; but you can't see through? If only there were a way to create an item with the benificial properties of both....
 * This fusion will also prevent Doc Scratch from being able to explode it; and may even poison him in some way.
 * Assuming it has a captchalogue code. It seems like the sort of thing players aren't supposed to have.
 * Or maybe it'll make a Magic-8 Ball with no window, so you can't read the vague, useless predictions.
 * There are at least two combination operations; if this happens, just try the other.
 * Why bother alchemizing the Magic Cue Ball when you could just send it to someone who can read its predictions? Like say, Dream!Vriska who once again has vision eightfold?
 * Because that would require you to trust Vriska.
 * Jossed here: the magic cue ball was lost due to explosion of Jade's dreambot. Instead, she alchemizes together the magic-8 ball and Rose's crystal ball.

AA's desecration of the blue frog temple foreshadows that the Skaia of the blue team's session will get destroyed.
Like the possible foreshadowing of the weathering of the earth frog temple and the kids session, the weathering of the red and blue frog temples on Alternia correspond with the trolls' sessions. Blue team's Skaia will be utterly decimated for some reason, and the only way to salvage the session is to somehow merge with the red team's session, thus creating the 12-troll session.
 * Jossed. Both the blue and red teams share the same Skaia, since it has actually been only one single game session from the start.

White Text is one of the Gods of the Outer Ring.
The way he talks could mean to imply that he's on some equal level to them. Add to that the omniscience speech...
 * And the demon's server is seen floating among the Gods of the Outer Ring, though we don't know the ontological relation between the demon and the server. (It's quite like the server that holds Rose's walkthrough, for whatever that's worth.)
 * Jossed. He's Alternia's first guardian.

Jade's Meteor gets sent back in time to become primordial Earth
Going by this page, the meteor is about half the size of the moon. There is no way it can hit Jade's island and leave the general area intact, which we clearly see is the case in the future with the exiles (and no, you can't say the Frog Temple is somehow able to withstand it because we've clearly seen it take damage from much smaller things). Between this and the ever-present Weird Time Shit, it seems reasonable that the meteor could have been shunted into the past to fulfill yet another Stable Time Loop by becoming the critical mass which leads to Earth's formation some 4.13 billion years ago.
 * Jossed in [S Jade: Enter]: Bec destroys the meteor with his First Guardian powers.

The Trolls aren't all connected, and they aren't all going to be helpful
So far we've only seen three out of the expected 12. When Spade Slicks gets to the screen where he talks to CG the screens are seperated into groups of 3. From CG's talks with John it seems like they're all playing the same game. Only 2 out of three trolls have started to act at least helpful to John, Jade, Rose and Dave so maybe we haven't seen the last member of CG's team. The third member will likely try to be begrudgenling friendly to our heroes.
 * One can argue over the "helpful" part, otherwise jossed.

Jade's kernelsprite will be prototyped with her stuffed grampa and one of the 4 "fellows" in her den.
Or maybe that's just what Hussie wants us to think... IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!

Jade's kernelsprite will be prototyped with her stuffed grandpa and the Dreambot.
This seems to make the most sense, with her grandfather fulfilling the 'dead relative' part and the Dreambot fulfilling the 'doll' part. Every ingredient in the kids' prototyping thus far has had some significance in the kids' storyline, and both Grandpa Harley and Dreambot fit this to a T. Plus, if you want to get technical, the Grandpa look-alike has red eyes like the Dreambot when he saves John.
 * One of the trolls also mentions to Jade that her Dreambot will explode in the future, which fits the criteria for one of the kernelsprite materials being 'maimed' in some form or fashion.
 * Do note, however, that Jade does not have to follow the pattern and probably won't -- she's been the "combo breaker" before. (Bec, anyone?) It's possible that she won't prototype at all, or do something completely different.
 * [Her own dreamself wasn't far off from the Dreambot.]

Jade's kernelsprite will be prototyped with her stuffed grandpa and the bunny.
We didn't see if the bunny survived thirteen years with Jade like it survived thirteen years with Rose, but it's not stated it didn't either. Even if all of its parts were eventually replaced.

Jade will somehow prototype her sprite with something involving a dragon and something really muscular.
If only for the fact that there will be dragonlike enemies with singular beefy arms if this happens.

Besides, it won't be long until we find out.


 * Jossed. It got prototyped with

Alternate Alternate Future Dave will prototype himself with Becsprite.
Because there can never be too many Daves running around.

Jade won't prototype her Kernelsprite, which will fuck up everything.
Jack will be prototyped with a Kernel, allowing him, in turn, to be prototyped with something... and he'll prototype with the Green Sun, making him into Lord English and causing the Scratch.
 * Jossed in [S Jade: Enter]: Bec prototypes himself with Jade's kernel. (Of course, this still screws things up by giving Jack the power of the Green Sun)

Tavros kissed the girl.
Recall the troll flash. Aradia beat the everloving shit out of Vriska, before leaving her with Tavros. Shortly later, Vriska's dream self wakes up. Later near the end of the act, Vriska is seen with her eye and arm fully restored, suggesting that she is living through her dream self, and her real self is dead, like Sollux. Suppose that Vriska died from Aradia's attack. Now, recall Sollux's untimely death. How exactly was his dream self awakened after his death? With a kiss.
 * Jossed. Tavros was unable to kiss or mercy kill Vriska, leaving her to bleed out.

Rose destroyed Aradiabot.
If she could do what she just did to Eridan's computer, there's no telling what could happen to other machinery with those Thorns Of Oglogoth of hers.
 * Jossed in [S Wake]: Jack Noir killed dream-Aradia while she was on her quest Bed, causing her soulbot to explode when her soul joined with her now-alive God Tier body.

The Feferi Jade talked to in her second dream was actually Dream Feferi
From the afterlife she's probably able to communicate via Dream Bubbles due to her strong connection to the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.
 * Jossed, Feferi herself was killed not long after the death of her dreamself was shown, so the Feferi Jade was talking to was Feferi herself.

Gamzee didn't actually forget his title.
He is the Bard of Fuck.
 * This was a joke theory, but Jossed.

Tavros is coming back
Sollux said that everyone would die once, and that he and only he would die twice. Therefore, since Tavros lost his physical body, his Dreamself is still alive and usable.
 * Jossed. Terezi tried and failed to revive him because his dreamself was already dead.

Gamzee is the Bard of Death.
Based on "==>Elsewhere..." And Jossed.

Kanaya is not the corpse to worry about.
The Horrorterrors have a way to use Feferi's corpse as a host or a conduit into the waking world.
 * Jossed. Kanaya is indeed the corpse to worry about.

Doc Scratch is a MEOW-code clone of Eridan.
Eridan is the perfect sort of target for the MEOW code, where Halley was the most imperfect possible target: Intelligent, logical, bitter, and arrogant. We have seen no adult trolls, nor humanoid Luses. Presumably, at some point Nepeta's Lusus whispered the MEOW code and unlocked it, just as Jaspers did for Rose. Doc Scratch is then cloned from something related to one of the existing characters, but in the troll session, there really isn't anyone available aside from the players themselves. Doc Scratch's rivalry with Vriska, which borders on Kismesis, and his continued interest in her even after he has repeatedly renounced her behavior only supports this idea, as it parallels Eridan's one-sided kismesis with Vriska as the intensity of her black romance with Tavros shifts (shortly before it goes completely haywire).
 * Jossed. Doc is cloned from the code, a Magic Cue Ball, and Lil' Cal.

Altenatively, Doc Scratch is a MEOW-code clone of the Ophiuchus troll.
No support for this except that if I had to guess, I'd say Ophiuchus' blood would be green.
 * Also Jossed.
 * [Although the guess about Ophiuchus' blood was accurate, or at least close.]

His Honorable Tyranny is Karkat's ancestor
Because they are both candy red. Also, His Horrible Tyranny does seem to resemble a crab- he has shell-like plating and his horns kind of look like crab claws. Since Karkat's zodiac sign is Cancer, the Crab... yeah you get it.
 * Jossed. His Honorable Tyranny has black blood, not candy red, and Karkat's ancestor apparently led a failed sectarian revolution and was known as "the sufferer."

The aftermath of [S] Flip...
Coin? What coin? Surely you jest, Ms. Serket. The persecution sees no coin. SHE'S BLIND, REMEMBER?
 * Jossed.
 * And what a shame that was...

Due to recent events . ..
It will be Dave who will have to  Since, according to this panel,   this means that
 * Jossed. While Dave  it won't be because he has an extra life.
 * [Though he still wanted to, for the same reason, though it turned out to be irrelevant.]

The Signless is a 13th Ophiuchus troll.
There is a possibility. Think about it.
 * It's pretty clear that this was another ephitet for the Sufferer, whose 6ym9ols were erased from history. He cannot be Ophiuchus, because we know that he is Karkat's ancestor and thus is also Cancer.

The kids are on opposing teams
John is in the Land of Wind and Shade, fighting the army of the Dark Kingdom. Rose is in the Land of Light and Rain, fighting the army of the Light Kingdom. This is because John is an agent of Light, and Rose is an agent of Darkness. If the kids are color coded, then Dave will be on Rose's team (both blond), and Jade will be on John's team (both brunette). Strangely, John and Jade have been instructed by Shale Exiles, traitors against the Dark Kingdom, and Rose has been instructed by a Lime Exile, a traitor against the Light Kingdom.
 * Dave's opposing Exile is also white.
 * Oh so very Jossed (John and Dave have Dersite exiles, Rose and Jade have Prospitian exiles), but used later with the Trolls to an extent. However all players are on the side of Prospit and light.

There will be Thirteen groups of Four member parties in Homestuck once is all said and done.

 * Certain
 * John, Rose, Dave and Jade
 * Wandering Vagabond, Peregrine Mendicant, Aimless Rogue and Windswept Questant
 * The Guardians
 * The Four Kernalsprites
 * Prospective
 * A group for each of the kid's enemy factions.
 * The Midnight Crew, for John
 * Four surviving members of the Felt, for Jade or Rose?
 * ______, for Dave
 * ______, for whoever isn't getting the Felt.
 * This could extremely easily tie further into the four types of Grist: John and the pitch-black Midnight Crew work with Oil, Jade and the glowing-green Felt will work with Uranium, Rose and (god forbid) ever-so-pale Team Sleuth will work with Chalk, and Dave and... someone work with amber.
 * Four main trolls, one for each kid. There are 12 trolls, but so far only four (cG, gC, gA, aT) have chatted and appeared in person in the comic.
 * It's possible the four trolls revealed thus far are foils to the main characters (cG = John, gC = Jade, gA = Rose, aT = Dave).
 * Four pets: VODKA MUTINI/DOCTOR MEOWGON, CASEY/VICEROY BUBBLES VON SALAMANCER, LI'L CAL, and... possibly GRANDPA HARLEY?
 * Jossed, Andrew's confirmed that Act 6 will not have nearly as many characters and Acts 4 and 5's boom in characters was always meant to wind down.

A train of thought on the exiles, Skaian socioformation, etc.

 * The Spades/Trolls universe is another iteration of the Homestuck universe in which there were 12 survivors.
 * Jossed.
 * Their purpose is to rebuild the world to a buzzing hive of Imagination. Sadly, this only attracts the next round of meteors.
 * Jossed, Skaia doesn't work like that.

The exiles exiled themselves for not fitting their native societies
The Wayward Vagabond and Aimless Renegade are both believers in democracy and the rule of law, which makes them misfits in a Dark Kingdom under the thumb of a Glorious Monarch. Likewise, the Peregrine Mendicant is impulsive and sword-packing, which would not fit a (hypothetical) Light Kingdom of blissed-out contemplatives.
 * Jossed

The Felt/Midnight Crew are the troll equivalent of the Light/Dark kingdoms
Just as Black will triumph over White in the Kids' world, in the trolls' world, Black will triumph over Green. Jack Noir and Spades Slick aren't the same person, but parallel personas present in the kids'/trolls' game. Thus, Spades Slick is the trolls' game's version of Jack Noir (and possibly WV, as both the exiles and the Midnight Crew have ordered their respective players around). Lord English is the equivalent of the White King, and the Felt are the equivalent of the White "team," which would also tie in their time-based abilities to the trolls' temporal weirdness. This also means that the trolls' game may be dangerously close to ending on a linear timeline, seeing as everyone except Slick, Snowman, Lord English, and possibly Mayonaka are dead.
 * Mayonaka isn't even canon (yet). Hopefully he won't be, because he seems to give off strong vibes of a being a Villain Sue.
 * Half-confirmed, but mostly jossed. Spades Slick is the trolls' game's version of WV, and the future version of their Jack Noir. Lord English and the Felt, however, are something else entirely. Mayonaka will never be canon.

The Mediums are actually the afterlife.
There seems to be a mild heaven/hell motif going on, and it would certainly explain Grandpa Harley's appearance.
 * Jossed; the afterlife is in the Furthest Ring, which is equidistant from all sessions.
 * And that in and of itself seems to be a temporary afterlife before a real one.

Former Players
As mentioned before, there's a theory that players become the monarchs of the two factions once they reach Skaia. Therefore, the monarchs of the two kingdoms are former players that were divided once they reached Skaia. Two wanted to destroy it for all the trouble it caused and the other two wanted to protect it despite this. The Dark ones were banished back to Derse. So that means that the Carapaces are a race that played Sburb before the humans.

Now stick with me, it gets a little crazy here.

The kids reach Skaia and do the same thing. The Carapaces are then allowed to rebuild on Earth. Meanwhile, the Trolls are the next players of Sburb. Knowing that the Trolls are able to screw around with time, the Dark and Light Kingdoms both ask the Trolls to influence their past selves in an attempt to break the cycle. They are ultimately successful, although the Trolls' planet is still destroyed. The Kids use Skaia to create a new planet for them.
 * Jossed in so many ways.

The Trolls fail at everything they do, which will soon become advantageous.
The Trolls are aware of this fact, and sincerely trying to help the kids by being Sour Supporters. Just some... okay most of them aren't really getting the hang of it, due to collectively jumping up and down the timeline to throw in their two cents' worth. Or otherwise trying to off the kids by being Friendly Enemies, in which case gC's the only one on the ball. Not entirely sure yet. They could even be working at cross-purposes.
 * Jossed.

The kids will win the war without overturning Nanna's prophecy...
... because they aren't actually on the side of good. They've just been assuming they're on the good side, but their victory will allow Earth to be destroyed and the cycle to continue. If they are defeated, however, the cycle stops. The "Bad Future" is actually a Good Future for everyone else.
 * Jossed.

The Dark Kingdom will win the war, but it will be a hollow victory.
The White Queen's sudden abdication indicates that the Light Kingdom is very willing to make unpleasant sacrifices for the greater good. If they continue in this fashion, it seems likely that they will be willing to surrender to the Dark Kingdom, but do so in such a way that the Dark Kingdom gains nothing (or at least not what they really wanted) from their "victory".
 * Sort of Jossed. Everybody loses, except for  Of course, since the Exiles are still alive, this might change.
 * Jossed completely; Jack wins for Derse and assumes control of it.

Alternate Future Jade is still alive.
At least, her Dream Self is. Furthermore, she will turn out to be a villain, trying to screw with the efforts of the kids in order to counter Future Dave's Set Right What Once Went Wrong, and make the timeline lead back into her future, thus ultimately becoming Alternate Future Evil Dream Self Jade.
 * Jossed, effectively: It was implied John and near outright stated with Vriska when they were mortally wounded that at least death wounds eventually transfer to the dreamself. Only a kiss from another player (technically royalty, but all players are princesses and princes of their moons) can prevent this from happening. Alternate Future Jade would have likely either just died in time or suffered an extremely painful, slow, transformation of burning/crushing gradually to match the no longer existing Real Alternate Jade. Unless a death that completely wipes out a body instantly wipes out the Dream Self to spare such horror.
 * Oh and John died too so that's something you can comfort yourself with that at least they might've died together.

The Black King is trapped within Skaia.
Derse wants to destroy Skaia to at last release their GLORIOUS MONARCH and fix the kingdom that has been laid to waste under the rule of the Black Queen. However, enraptured with the infinite creative potential of Skaia, the king began creating a story about four children who play a video game together, and interrupting him might lead to some disastrous repercussions...

What I'm getting at is that Andrew Hussie is the Black King.
 * Jossed unless the king lost a lot of weight and got a tan.

Rose is Casey
Cause she has the bunny and that just makes things just a bit STRANGER.
 * Um, no.

The pets will keep getting passed around.
In the end, both Casey and Mutie, and probably some others, will have had a tenure with each of the kids.
 * Jossed.

Jack Noir is John Egbert.

 * Jossed.

Skaia is sentient-and the villain of the story.
It is stated that Skaia will catch some of the meteors with portals, which, as theorized above, may be the ones that hit Earth and other planets with Sburb sessions. However, this is only possible because there were Sburb sessions-otherwise, there would be a stalemate between Prospit and Derse. In other words, Sburb is launching meteors at inhabited planets (instead of, say, stars) to save itself from meteors that were only launched because of its actions. Skaia isn't a place of wonder. It's an Eldritch Abomination that is playing a game, at the price of hundreds of billions of lives. The chess motifs, the playing card motifs, even the nature of Sburb... they all hint at the worldview of Skaia. So, you may ask, why do the trolls say it's so essential that The Reckoning is stopped? Because, in truth, Skaia isn't in any danger. The meteors won't destroy it, they'll just make it throw a tantrum. And that tantrum would destroy the universe.
 * So (probably writing from much later), Skaia is Lord English?
 * Jossed, Skaia is basically the closest thing to a benevolent god. However the Elderterrors are close to the original idea.

The Ultimate Alchemy is the process of bringing back Skaia.
Or, in other words, bring back the Earth. Because, really, what else would take that much grist that recreating an entire planet full of life. Now, the trolls have already played the game, and they lost, which makes them the last of their kind. Earth is already doomed, as Nannasprite would not lie (I think.) The reward for all of this would have to be something good. The congratulations for beating the game is the ability to recreate your world, but in your image. The Guardians have played the game before, which is why the are that strong- the would have had to have been to beat the game. Them beating the game is also why the Earth is still around, obviously. Now, it is their job to pass on their genes to then next set of players.
 * Jossed, making a universe.

The trolls are products of this damaged future.
This explains why trollish movie titles are plot synposes, and why troll fashion runs as far as various shades of grey, and why the the trolls seethe with poorly-concealed jealousy of Earth culture. The lights of Skaia was dimmed or extinguished, and the universe is suffering for it.
 * Jossed - the kids are products of the trolls' session, not the other way around.

All the paradoxes and weird self-fulfilling prophecies are Sburb's fault. Because it is sentient.
Everything that has happened in the story and everything that will happen is already predetermined; we're not seeing events as they play out, we're seeing an edited version of everything, a final product with some bad cut-and-paste jobs and maybe some jpeg artifacts. If that reminds you of anything. There's enough to see that it wasn't always this way but the introduction of Sburb changed it all, messing with reality, tying itself around Earth with intricate little knots of time and space and now it's totally inseparable. The planet now exists only because the kids needed to live there in order to play the game, and now that Earth has outlived its usefulness as a breeding ground for players it's gone. In the original timeline, they were just four unrelated internet friends playing a game. Now they are not, because the game rewrote their pasts to connect itself to them. Sburb needs the kids to play it for some reason that is unknown at this time, maybe just to continue existing and preying on other planets (maybe the reason life exists on any planet at all is because of its machinations?).

Basically Sburb is a somewhat sentient reality-warping godparasite thing that may or may not be intrinsically malicious. It might end up being the Final Boss. Beating it would be like literally punching reality in the face.
 * Corollary: The kids realizing this and rebelling against the game and their kernelsprites was what Andrew had originally planned for the 4/13 update.
 * No, it wasn't.
 * Jossed. Sburb is just the portal to the incipisphere, it's not really that important in the scheme of things.

The kids' family tree is even more screwed up than it looks, and precious pairings are preserved, due to genetic shenanigans.
It's easier to explain with diagrams.
 * Jossed by Andrew. While Dave and Rose / John and Jade are not LITERALLY siblings, because they weren't actually born, they are as genetically related as siblings would be.
 * Um... while the paradox clone recombination mechanism is under no obligation to mimic human reproduction, and the protagonists could as easily be Saiyan as human, what that picture says about chromosome separation during meiosis is... flat-out-wrong. During meiosis, homologous chromosomes not only distribute randomly, but also random swap corresponding segments. As a result, instead of... two... possible gametes, it's somewhere upwards of 2^23, with some variation between males and females due to the Y chromosome's fascinating but irrelevant-to-this-discussion methods of mutation suppression. In any case, the most obvious method of operation would result in a situation similar to the above, but since that apparently wasn't what happened, I guess it didn't happen like that.
 * Crossing-over is shown in the diagram at the beginning, if that's what you mean. That's the only part where meiosis is relevant? The theory is basically "meiosis did not happen, thus the kids are not related." If it's the third paragraph, that's justification why existing gametes wouldn't be used--recombination happened, leaving room for chromosomal errors and generally unfavourable combinations of genes, and also the division of cells leaves the possibility of nondisjunction. Making them artificially (i.e. having to read the code, recognize individual genes, then swap alleles between homologous chromosomes in a machine) is a waste of time and sounds like it has a much higher failure rate than regular meiosis. Ideally you want the smallest error margin possible, so the ectobiology machine would logically bypass it all together. Of course, it didn't, which is why the theory is Jossed, and the WMG was unlikely from the start because Mutie and all the other messed up clones exist. It would just be cool if the machine did work that way.
 * In both trials, the single y chromosome is used in exactly one child. It's not conclusive, of course, but there's only a 25% chance of that happening assuming independent recombination.
 * As mentioned above this is outright jossed. They are related, end of story.

There is no "real world." Skaia, the Medium, and Earth have co-existed for millions of years. The kids have been playing the game since birth.
Sburb itself is nothing more than a reality manipulator. Since the meteors in the Veil, upon hurtling toward Skaia, are redirected through space and time through defense portals, it is extremely probable that the babies John created in the ectobiology lab all find their way to appropriate points via these meteors. Also consider that the kids have been using captchalogue cards and sylladexes well before Sburb was installed on John's and Rose's computers, and the exiles all lack sylladexes; they and strife specibi are facets of the Homestuck universe as a whole, and are not necessarily related to Sburb. The kids are literally fighting to save the world from destruction, not to just survive their instance and return to a "real world" like in Problem Sleuth.
 * Confirmed-ish but Jossed in principle. Skaia isn't unique to the Kids after all.

The future is mutable.
Dave, the Knight of Time, has already traveled back over four months to prevent the Bad Future of John and Jade (presumably) dying prematurely, significantly changing the timeline of the game. The future involving the exiles is accepted as canon, implying that the world will inevitably become a wasteland, but this is not set in stone as long as Dave is alive. We may be treated to a Tarantino, wherein Dave finds a reason to change the future again and a montage shows the relevant changes to already-revealed events such as the exiles' actions.
 * Related: The future is only immutable when you play by the rules. The one time the future was changed was when a character intentionally broke the rules (John going for the seventh gate early). The toy bunny doesn't count as breaking the rules because Jade never attempts to get anyone to do anything but follow the script (but with a powerful item to help). Rose is now going Off the Rails, so may be able to actually affect an outcome.
 * Jossed, it just folded into the alpha timeline.

A character's inventory system is more or less tied to the technological level of their society
The more-or-less prohibition-era shenanigans of Problem Sleuth and the Midnight Crew have a classic adventure game inventory, with easy access to items but finite storage space. The kids (And apparently everyone else from their time) have capchatalog cards, which are less convenient but more versatile. The exiles, who have no real civilization, are reduced to "pick it up and carry it."
 * Adding to this, the kids, who were born post-computerization, all have sylladexes, while Dad has to resort to carrying around captchalouge cards with him.
 * Probably jossed, the Trolls use esoteric moduses that range from kinda high tech to very lowtech.

Maplehoof doesn't age.
In this strip we see Maplehoof with little Dave. Little Dave gets sent back into the past with Maplehoof. Maplehoof probably leaves Dave sometime later and ends up being found by Rose's mom and given to Rose as a gift.
 * That would create an physical ontological paradox, and Homestuck seems to draw the line there: The clones were created from their own DNA, but only information (their genetic code) was involved there, and they still have a beginning and an end. If this WMG were true, Maplehoof would have neither.
 * Jossed. After being sent back with Baby Dave, Maplehoof's only purpose seems to be cushioning his fall.
 * And being made into a bib.

Derse will be destroyed in the final confrontation.
Okay, not exactly wild, but if the "frog-temple foreshadowing" is going to pay off completely, well... A fully-prototyped Jack will be slinging about a hell of a lot of firepower (not that he hasn't already) and will be an absolute bear to fight. And on the possibility that the kids do emerge victorious, what RPG final bosses of that caliber don't explode spectacularly?
 * Jossed.

Every session ends up sending out one of those remote-control data storage whatsits out into the Furthest Ring.
For the humans, it contains Rose's walkthrough, intended to aid past and future Sburb players. For the Trolls, it was the virus that spawns Lord English, which (will eventually/already has/may or may not) destroy the universe. What they contain mirrors which race sent them out.
 * A guide written by people who lose mirrors humanity?
 * A guide meant to help others mirrors humanity. A program meant to destroy the ones who wrote it mirrors the trolls.
 * Jossed.

The troll's blood is a magical effect, and Karkat is an Antimagic Being.
If you took Karkat's candy-red (which would be the default mundane color) blood and carried it, say, 15-30 feet away from him, it'd turn an olive color, as per his placement. Conversley, If you placed any other troll's blood (even Equius') near Karkat, It would become candy-red until taken away.
 * Jossed.

== Once the story shifts back to the kids' game, Terezi will become The Atoner and desperately try to get John and the Daves to forgive her and let her help them as much as she can, to make up for it == Basically, she will fulfill Vriska's prediction to the letter, because how can an author drop a speech like that and not have it come true? Rose and even moreso Jade don't really have any direct connection to her stunt, so they'll probably hold it agaisnt her only as much and as long as the boys do. John's way too trusting (he already followed her very next piece of advice) and doesn't really seem capable of holding a strong grudge, so while he's not going to forget it right away it'll probably not be completely insurmountable to get his forgiveness by the end of the story, though she'll still have to work at it for more than apathy. But the Daves, especially Future Dave, felt the sting of betrayal as sharply as it can be felt, and it'll probably be not until the very end that they trust or forgive her (even if Davesprite is willing to talk to her nonhostile-ly, and even congratulate her, that's not the same as forgiving. It's still huge evidence against this going exactly the way I see it though).
 * Jossed.

John is his own dad.
No, I'm not talking Paradox clones here. I mean he is LITERALLY the same character as Dad.

Picture this: When last we left John, he was sleeping and tied to a rocket board by AR?. Said rocket board heads toward Skaia while Dream!John's having his little battle with Jack, and ends up, while STILL ASLEEP, falling through a defense portal. John survives landing on earth for the same reason he did last time (whatever that reason is) and is taken in by a then adult but young Nanna. Because he went a bit into the past... AN Yway, his tech gets sent to Grandpa, who uses it to reverse engineer an build his own laboratory on the island (with help from Bec) and he realizes that he's in the past. Time goes on, he suddenly realizes he's in a stable time loop, informs those involved so they can get prepared ("You have a pair of Shades just for this," anybody?) and then remembers Davesprite's statement that they couldn't win if he wasn't in the game. So he goes, picks himself up from the meteor, and raises himself as his own in a gambit to get back into the Medium, which eventually WORKS.... And then all this happens again, but he's elsewhere....

You see what I'm saying?
 * Jossed

Holy crap, Sollux.
Indestructible demon with time travel powers who has assembled followers and has some connection to a billiard-ball-marked server?

I do believe he just summoned Lord English.
 * And as a side-guess, Sburb is a game designed to kill Lord English. It... hasn't worked out so well, yet.
 * 2x side guess combo: Sburb is a game designed BY Lord English
 * Possibly For the Evulz.
 * I assumed it's designed to destroy the universe so he could do whatever he wants with the destroyed universe afterwards.
 * Probably to let him out in the first place. After all... "THE DEMON IS ALREADY HERE."
 * Jossed.

TA is from Prospit, AA is from Derse.
They both get visions from the future, but the nature behind them is a bit different. Derse gets the Eldritch Horrors--- Err, the Dark Gods rather, to give them advice, while Prospit gets random visions of the past and future with no real frame to put them together in. ...Of course, the Dark Gods only tell them what they feel is vaguely relevant, and never tell a person the full story either.
 * Jossed, Sollux has two dreamselves and Aradia has none.
 * Confirmed in the sense that Aradia's dreamself was from Derse and Sollux keeps his Prospit dreamself.

The troll Blue Team is evil.
I don't mean lovable evil like the trolls we know already. I mean proper antagonistists. Here's what we know about the two teams at present.

Red: huge idiot bluh bluh Karkat, plushie-executing nutjob Terezi, lovable losers Gamzee, Tavros and aC, and gA, who seems pleasant enough, Chainsaw Good notwithstanding.

Blue: Sollux (nice guy who wants nothing to do with this madness), incredible douchebag aG, creepy misanthrobopist cT, the enigmatic cC and cA, and... aA.

The only two who don't match up to this scheme are Sollux and Terezi. And the two teams do seem to be working together in the future, judging from the troll logs and what cT did for Tavros, so this may be entirely off-mark. I guess we'll be seeing pretty soon.
 * There's a certain amount of speculation that aG is, quite literally, Tavros' rival in the Pokemon Fiduspawn sense of the word. Following this through, cA could be Gamzee's rival (in terms of the whole LAND DWELLERS/SEA DWELLERS/accidentally ejected Faygo bottles thing) and Sollux could be Karkat's (in terms of programming). Fitting the others in is trickier, but hey.
 * Then there's the other theory, spawned by the Red frog temple missing its Derse and the Blue one missing its Prospit, that the Red team are the Prospit trolls and the Blue team are the Derse trolls. Seems a little odd to make Karkat a Prospitian, but hey, if Terezi can be one...
 * Whoa holy shit. Even if the Blue Team isn't antagonistic, it definitely has at least one Complete Monster in its ranks (aG, holy shit aG). Adding to that, there's also cT's obsession with blood hierarchy and his creepy controlling relationship with Nepeta. Adding to that... look at the picture of poor Gamzee's dead lusus. Does it look like it was wounded to you? All while cA expresses his hatred of land-dwellers. WHAT A COINCIDENCE
 * Jossed: Vriska is on the Red Team anyways.

The Trolls' society somehow evolved from the society the kids built after the events of Homestuck.
Or at least some society that had previous experience with Sburb.

As of this writing, I am currently at the beginning of act 5; namely the page that I am about to describe. When cG steps outside and we see the exterior of his house for the first time, it is eerily reminiscent of the bizarre constructs the kids' houses have become after a bit of Sburb-facilitated shenanigans. But what piques my interest more is this paragraph on that very page:

""It's almost as if [The Trolls] have placed great cultural importance on teaching children to become architecturally adept while very young. It has been this way since ancient times. No one seems to know why that is.""

It seems like the Trolls’ culture, or possibly Alternia’s as a whole, is designed to prepare the Trolls for a session of Sburb, which would only be feasible if the Trolls or their predecessors had previous experience with the game.
 * Well, the kids can't have preceded them chronologically, since the events of Act 5 take place long before Earth even existed. However, they could have shaped their culture around Rose's Game FAQs guide, which is currently being broadcast across all of space and time.
 * I'm pretty sure that with all the stuff the series pulls with time travel, temporal placement means next to nothing.
 * Jossed.

The lowest blood rank is red. Hence, this is why the Trolls show contempt for humans.
The Trolls blood seems to be ranked in order of when their star sign occurs in the year, theefore making AA the lowest ranked Troll. We have seen that Tarvos's blood is the same colour as his text, and so Aradia's blood is probably red like that of humans. Also, Aradia's lusus is probably killed by CuttlefishCuller.
 * CT seems to be in cahoots with Aradia. I doubt he'd associate that closely with the lowest class, so she probably isn't. (EDIT: Never mind, he refers clearly to someone who has the best of manners despite the worst possible blood, so he probably does mean Aradia.)
 * Jossed. The contempt the trolls show for the humans is less because of the color of their blood, but rather because of how stupid the Kids behave in their opinion.
 * Confirmed actually, at least in the case of their initial confrontations. Such as Equius and Dave's or Rose and Eridan. They assume their text color is their blood though, not assuming it's red constantly.

CT and his lusus are a tag-team robot-fighting team
When CT breaks the robots he builds, he powers them on first and takes them out in a fair fight. Hence his lusus's and his own injuries.
 * Jossed.

The person AG was talking to was Serpentarius.
It exists out of the original 12 zodiac signs and the person AG was talking to doesn't have a trolltag. Because Serpentarius exists out of the original 12 zodiac animals and thus outside whatever "rules" they have, he doesn't need a trolltag to talk to people. This also solves the nucleotide combination problem since there weren't any possible combinations left. Furthermore is the relationship between AG and the unknown guy. It is clear that she does not particularly like him. Also, the constellation of Scorpio appears to be below Serpentarius' feet, giving more credit into the theory that the guy in white is Serpentarius as, according to the guy in white, AG was used and manipulated by him as a Lord does to his or her pawn.
 * Jossed. Doc Scratch is far weirder than this.

White Text Guy is the SOLE player from the previous session
The Trolls' Troll, if you will. He's already in the Trolls' medium watching their entire game play out; in the one panel we've seen of him, the person he talks to is seen as annoying, and he speaks in vague tones about things that may or may not have already happened.

He also happened to enter the game by himself, because I just happen to think that'd be intriguing. One might cite his apparant aloofness and talk of strategy as proof, but we have no idea what this player is like at all -- it may not even be remotely humanoid.
 * Jossed. Doc Scratch is far weirder than this.

Aradia is, was, and will be Skaia.
Somewhere it was mentioned that the frog temple survived not one, but two meteor impacts. As it's confirmed to represent the kid's SBURB session, it's safe to assume all frog temples are only damaged by internal mechanics; that is, temples are only damaged if their corresponding planetary body is damaged. And yet we clearly see OH MY GOD ARADIA IS SLICING APART THE TEMPLE!

This is because, as she fused with the frog head, she symbolically becomes Skaia. Or half of Skaia becomes her. And so she will arrange for the devastation to occur in chrono-disturbed synchronicity with her acts, after she's gotten to Skaia as a dreambot of course, and then THINGS WILL GET WEIRD. Blue loses all its planets but ultimately wins....
 * Jossed.

Troll gender is purely psychological and based off their Lusus.
Because there is no way they can ALL donate their genetic material to a mother grub as described and not be the same sex...
 * Alternatively, the troll species has 3 genders, with the grub-queen being a third gender.
 * Unlikely, since the Mother Grub is a special sort of lusus (gA's is one).
 * Her's is a Virgin Mother grub.
 * It would certainly explain why bisexuality is the norm--troll gender has nothing to do with reproductive equipment, and being straight, gay, or lesbian is the equivalent of only preferring, say, blonde hair.
 * Jossed: Trolls do have a biological gender that's innate.

Where we talk about Matchsticks and Quarters' time powers.
Andrew seems to be rather tired of addressing this question, but, given what we've seen of the two missing Felts in the semi-canon Felt-venture, it'd be safe to assume what their powers might be:


 * First, we have Matchsticks. People have been WMG that his powers involve pausing time, similar to how a pair of matchsticks put together look like the pause symbol on a remote. In the Felt-venture, he has a belt with a wide assortment of matches. With that said, it can be deduced that whenever he strikes a match, time itself for everyone but him will pause, up until the point when the match itself burns out.
 * Perhaps it's an area-of-affect kind of deal, as in time slows down for everyone and everything but him in the area lit by the match. The brighter the illumination from the match, the more things slow down, leading bullets to be pretty much useless against him when he has one lit.
 * Secondly, we have Quarters. In the Felt-venture, he carries around a HUGE rack, and is the tallest member of the Felt. It can be assumed that his time power involves 'racking up', namely, taking that huge rack and placing it downwards over himself (and possibly his other Felts given its size) and resetting the events of the present day for all within. Similar to how in pool, you rack up when you wish to start over a new game. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if that Rack doubles as a quarter-staff.
 * Just a friendly reminder that Felt is not canon at all.
 * Yeah, but Professor got the info from Andrew for Lord English and the other felties.
 * Spades refers to offing Crowbar, Matchsticks and Quarters as "depleting them of some of their muscle," which might mean that Matchsticks and Quarters have some bruiser tendencies and maybe even bruiser-like time powers. Just something to possibly keep into consideration.
 * This Troper was under the impression that Spades meant "Muscle" as in overall manpower/crew strength.
 * Hussie recently speculated that he's now keeping certain details secret just to annoy people, including these time powers. My brain chose to interpret that as "Those details will somehow become plot-critical in a confusing fashion." So, the most tangled-up thing I could think of was: the Felt are actually native to the kids' universe. They traveled to Alternia via some sort of Quarter-operated oblong phone booth that's larger on the inside than the outside (because let's face it, not getting 14 people, even if some of them are small and floaty, into one normal-sized booth).
 * When Quarters finally made his apperance in The Felt Adventure, he mentions to have "Temporal Intuition" and that his rack takes "Time Prints". Perhaps the rack can 'record' someone in the form of a ball (i.e. taking a 'print' of the person's life up until that point) to be used either to a) copy thier powers/examine thier experiences or b) revive them later somehow in case they die (this could also explain why the Felt have apparently survived multiple fights with the M.Crew despite being decimated easily during the M.Crew intermission). Then again the terms are so vague they could mean anything.
 * All of this shit is jossed: Matchsticks teleports in fires and Quarters does summon magic.

Jack Noir knows the above and is trying to stop it
What has he done so far? (Attempt to) Destroy everything associated with the game, including the armies, kings, queens, and players. Sure, he had Bec created, but making him with a dog means Bec isn't near omniscient, and a First Guardian would exist regardless.
 * Jossed again!

== If Lord English represents a cue stick, Doc scratch represents the cue ball, The Felt represent billiard balls, Felt mansion represents a pool table and the Midnight crew plus Snowman and Mayonaka represent the six holes of a pool table. Then there will be two more as of yet unseen characters who represent a pool rack and the chalk that goes on the tip of a cuestick. ==
 * Mayonaka isn't canon, and Snowman already represents one of the balls of the Felt.
 * Jossed then.

Vriska will be The Atoner by the time she enters the medium
Or at least she'll not particularly want to live. The way her luck is she's not getting dice rolls she wants, and she's known to survive to the end.
 * Jossed. If anything, she's worse than before.
 * She tries to become The Atoner later.

Draconian Dignitary is secretly an agent for Lord English
It's why he paradox-cloned Bec.
 * Jossed.

The dog was behind it all.
Bec is, in actuality, not a dog but an Eldritch Abomination. He created Skaia, the Beta, etc. all in order to destroy civilization whenever possible. Rose's books didn't hide Bec's genetic sequence, but rather that of Jaspers: If a dog is the ultimate evil, then only a cat can defeat him. The Old Gods were deceiving her because they didn't want her to stop their ruler's existence, whether or not it is disastrous for the multiverse. Dave preserving the notebooks will save Earth, not destroy it.
 * Not quite. Lord English used Jaspers to pass Rose the genetic sequence used to create First Guardians. The Old Gods, who fear and hope to prevent the arrival of Lord English, try to stop it by telling Rose to burn the notebook.
 * Jossed all of this.

The finale will be fully voice casted
Because, hey, how else can you make the ending even more awesome?
 * Andrew has jossed any official voice work. How else would you make the ending incredibly difficult to animate and have to deal with voice actor try outs and bullshit.

Not only did Gamzee pose as Future Terezi and Future Karkat here, he actually meant what he posted as Future Karkat
He actually was (that is to say, will be) feeling physically ill, and posted about it on a random memo on the nearest available computer.
 * Jossed apparently, Karkat and Terezi have had time to take care of that. Presumably it comes across because Karkat just beat the shit out of Gamzee.

Nepeta will kill Gamzee
She's the most harmless-looking troll who's still alive, and it would be hilarious if she were the one to stop the chain of deaths after Equius failed. Plus I noticed something about claw marks on Gamzee on an earlier WMG.
 * Oh so very, very Jossed.

Vriska will confront
It would be a great way of seeing if there was anything sympathetic left about Vriska's character.

Alternatively, we'll get a  joke with.
 * Oh, an it will happen on Valentine's Day. In the real world.
 * Okay, the Valentine's Day part is Jossed, the former is...
 * Jossed really. Vriska and Kanaya part ways without having really spoken about anything.

John and Rose grow up to become their own adoptive parents.
This just explains too much. Like why they're always one step ahead, and why they hook up almost immediately whilst knowing seemingly nothing about one another. Presumably, the session results in a Break the Cutie for both of them, with John becoming deadly serious about almost everything while Rose's drinking problem is the only thing keeping her from total Horrorterror-induced insanity. This would mean that the Wallet Modus is stuck in an infinite loop.

The only piece that doesn't fit is Mom's paradox clone. Unless of course... That clone becomes someone else entirely...
 * Jossed.

John will save Rose from the brink of insanity using The Power of Love.
For added Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, it may be accompanied by "How Do I Live?"
 * Jossed

The scratch wasn't meant to stop Jack
It was meant to stop  They're trying to get Jack to fight him because he's the only one strong enough to stand a chance.
 * Jossed.

The Shipping Wall will also include "spades" and "clubs" relationships.
This will then complete the whole card suit theme Nepeta's got going on there. Spades are likely to represent enemies (since they used to be swords in early versions of playing cards), while clubs will be neutral or unshippable (Even a shipper has his/her limits, right?).
 * Jossed though, Andrew said Nepeta isn't interested in black ships.

Karkat is colourless as far as the trolls are concerned because of how blood colour is determined.
Blood colour isn't genetic; it's influenced by the lusus that chooses you. All trolls are born with the bright red blood, like everything else on the planet, but after the trials it begins to change. The same might happen for sex and horn shape, among other things possibly: everyone is born sexless (or all the same sex, at least, like clownfish which are all born male) and the reason why sexual dimorphism exists in their species is only because they grow to match their lusus.

Karkat's got a defect that makes him resistant to the physiological changes. If you cut open Crabdad he'd bleed an olive colour, which corresponds to Cancer's placement (in between Gemini which is yellow and Leo which is green) but Karkat still retains the red of an immature, unaligned troll despite going through the same stuff everyone else did and having a custodian, which is why it's so embarrassing. It's also why he's got small nubby horns that look absolutely nothing like anything Crabdad has--they're the "default" shape.


 * I was going to point out that Terezi was almost never in direct contact with her lusus, due to the whole... not-born thing, and Kanaya raises her Mother Grub precisely because of her blood color. However, the lusus is assigned/found/whatever after the trials, so this fits. In addition, Terezi shows less similarity than the eight trolls (possibly seven, depending on Equius) we've seen besides her and Karkat. I think you might be onto something here. In any case, if this is true, I think it would be amusing if blood rank was more-or-less inversely correlated with some standard of performance on the trials.
 * Jossed.

Nice Job Making It Worse, Heroes.
 * Which would nicely fit with all the "don't turn your back on the body"- business.
 * Jossed. Kanaya is special, ordinarily it does nothing. Otherwise Tavros would have turned undead as well.
 * Jossed. Kanaya is special, ordinarily it does nothing. Otherwise Tavros would have turned undead as well.
 * Jossed. Kanaya is special, ordinarily it does nothing. Otherwise Tavros would have turned undead as well.
 * Jossed. Kanaya is special, ordinarily it does nothing. Otherwise Tavros would have turned undead as well.

The Scratch will allow the kids and trolls to change what has happened in the troll's session since Jack Noir got there
When Jack entered the troll's session through the scratch he arrived shortly before the trolls could pass into the kid's universe. A scratch on a record always brings you back to the same place. When the kid's cause the Scratch, they and the trolls will be able to go back to when Jack first arrived in that session. Then for some reason which I haven't really though of involving timey wimey, the rules of breaking from the alpha timeline will somehow not apply, or apply differently so they'll be able to change what has happened in the troll's session. So basically this is purely a desperate guess to find a way for
 * This troper will go further and think the kids will hit the Reset Button on the entire trolls' entire universe. However, rather than create an alternate timeline, it will be more of an Eternal Recurrence scenario, allowing for changes that stick.
 * With the revelation that the Scratch is a, this suddenly seems more likely.
 * All of this shit is Jossed. The trolls are DEAD but Kanaya is fine.

Vriska will destroy a universe
The Scorpion and The Frog.
 * Jossed.
 * Jossed.

Jade's penpal will be Kanaya's, um, offspring.
Kanaya's formal introduction hammers you over the head with implies a lot of points that connect her to Jade, such as a similar lunchbox, a love of colorful shit, the friggin' frog temple, her penchant for dreaming, and her jade-green blood. This jade color is also somewhat reminiscent of the green hue Jade's penpal wrote in. Kanaya herself may not be Jade's penpal, as both the color and the writing style are different from Kanaya's. But it's outright stated that Kanaya will, um, impregnate her Lusus at some point, so it's probable that Kanaya's, um, offspring will be the one to contact Jade. Hey, stranger things have happened in this comic.
 * The offspring in question seems to be another mother grub. Her responsibility was not to impregnate her Lusus, but to cut the egg out of her.
 * Pretty sure from context and everything that Jade's Penpal is Grandpa Harley.
 * Jossed jossed! It's Jade's grandkid and the orb is asploded.

It Was Earth All Along
Or, more specifically, Alternia is Earth after the Exiles from the kids' session have reestablished it. The ruins that Aradia desecrates look strangely similar to the ones on Jade's island. Alternatively, Alternia could be a parallel Earth due to the different states of decay in both sets of ruins.
 * Jossed.

Homestuck is an allegory of the Bible.
The Medium is purgatory. The four kids died when the meteors struck and went to purgatory. They can contact the others to save them from the depths of hell. The guardians, exiles, and sprites are guardian angels. When John faced his denizen under Terezi's influence, he ascended to heaven - the denizens represent their inner demons and the kids must learn to accept them rather than defeat them. He was brought back from the dead; John being the Heir of Breath means he is the Son of God. He has originally denied this role, represented by his attitude towards Dad, but will learn to accept it by wanting to rescue him and realizing Dad's role as his guardian angel. Skaia is God, the white kingdom are angels and the black kingdom are heretics. Jack Noir is Satan. Jade's dream-self dying will represent her losing her innocence and will make John the purest character of the kids. He will sacrifice himself to save the others from Karkat - this time accepting his role as the Heir of Breath - and they will ascend to heaven with him eventually. Their lands also represent their inner turmoil and past sins, defeating the monsters as penance. Rose thinking her mother is harming her and Dave beginning to think his brother is creepy represents them having doubts and denying God - for this, they are sentenced to Derse/Hell and are only saved because of John. Karkat is the Antichrist. He will corrupt the kids with sin and create the 11 other trolls. They will lose due to their own faults and place the blame on John/Jesus, leading to his first death and second deaths.
 * Jossed oh so very much. Firstly, after John died facing his Denizen, Weird Time Shit happened and he ended up not going through the Seventh Gate. Secondly, the trolls aren't evil. Thirdly, the kids really are responsible for Bec Noir, who messes up the trolls' session. The list goes on.
 * And as of 8/12/11, it's apparent that if anything, Karkat represents the Second Coming of Jesus, hardly the Antichrist.

Gamzee is cA
Or rather, Gamzee is a split personality of cA. Slime pies and faygo are most likely to blame for this.
 * -> ?????
 * You see, that bottle got launched so hard it looped around the whole world. And Gamzee changed personas in the mean time. It was a mIrAcLe.
 * Yeah jossed.

Vriska will cause the death of Rose's realself
She's caused a good chunk of bad events so far, so why not add another one to the list?
 * Jossed.

WMG’s based off of AH’s Neverending Metafiction
FIRST, Know how the story and its trope page states, “Giving something a name gives it power, knowing a name gives power over it?” The Horror Terrors become Squiddles when each one dies by realizing their individual name. Their plea for help comes from how those powered by the Green Sun are naming them. It is possible the Felt are slaying the Horror Terrors in Spades Slick’s world as a way to gain power and territory, because in that world, each Horror Terror is a living world, each nick-named Land of ____ and ____ to avoid saying their real name. The Felt conquer each Land by tearing apart the Land’s planet, compared to Rose tearing apart the Land’s surface structures and seeking hidden treasure to aid her new-found masters. When the Felt learn their real name, they gain power over them, taking their bodies for themselves, and they die, moving on from their world to the Human world, mentally and spiritually locked in for eternity as their dream-selves known as Squiddles. And taking into account how fans slowed down that Squiddles intro to find Anime Girls within the static, its possible their dream selves are actually locked in a medium like a cartoon channel in our world, filled with shows like Squiddles and Horror Terror Magical Anime Girl Hour. That last name is a stretch, but you get the idea.

ALSO, there’s massive foreshadowing here if you look right. It is implied Lord English is going to be Falcor, but it is what he is that is Lord English. He’s a luck dragon, with massive luck. Theory goes it will either be Vriska, due to being Thief of Light, and possessing ability to amass luck, or another Troll who shows abilities similar to Falcor, such as blue-fire breathing and aerial flight without wings, like John.

Andrew pokes fun at Dave being his author avatar, but he’s really referring to how Bastian is Atreyu’s inner self. In this case, Andrew is Dave’s inner self, from another world, and as Andrew created this story-verse, Dave, in universe, kick started this story. My theory here is as Dave is the Knight of Time, he goes back to before the Trolls created the universe, meets Sollux, gets a copy of Sgrub altered to be Sburb, and uses his time travel abilities to fill in gaps that Stable Time Loops cannot explain. Of course, this happens later in the story, near the end of Homestuck.

Vriska’s mind-controlling Andrew could parallel the Childlike Empress sending Atreyu to find a cure for her illness, when she really wanting to be named and end the Nothing. In this case, Vriska wants to die, either as the source of the Trolls and Kids problems, or as a hero, slain by or slaying Bec Noir, thus ending her old identity as the Bluh Bluh Bitch.

FINALLY, Andrew Hussie reads these theories, or someone posts the above on the MSPA forums, and there he reads them. He puts the ideas in the story, but because we saw Vriska view a younger Jade notice AH’s meta-fiction, Jade, as her dream-self, warns some one on Prospit of these theories, like the White Queen, and alters the story so that someone relative to the Exiles, like that One-Shot Prospit Painter, becomes the Big Bad, overcoming Bec Noir, as a playful screw you to his fans. Like as Fridge Logic calls Hussie the Webcomic Kojima, he will pull a planned ass pull near the end of Homestuck that was brilliant all along. OR, he reads all the above, calls this poster a Virgin Loser, and moves on without any Fan Influence as he has been doing for the longest time. But, one can dream, right?
 * I read the first few sentences and yeah this is Jossed.

Vriska will be a Karma Houdini
Thus becoming the greatest troll in all of metafiction.
 * But Hussie is a character in the comic, so if anything, he will be the greatest troll in all of metafiction for creating Vriska.
 * AAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA...
 * Jossed.

Andrew Hussie is saving Octoroon Rangoon for the final battle with Jack Noir
Just listen to it. It's quite obviously a far more frantic remix of Jack Noir's theme. At the very least, it will be used for Jack being involved with something epic.
 * Octoroon Rangoon was used in the flash of Dream Dave and Rose dancing. That's a Jossed.

Spades Slick is the Bec Noir destroying Trolls' Prospit and preventing their entry into Kids' universe.
The Bec Noir that attacks the Trolls has a bloody right hand, grown back after going through the Body Horror relative to acquiring the Kids' Session Rings of Power. Remember, his right arm was cut off by Snowman during the Midnight Crew's attack upon the Felt's hideout, despite the flash suggesting the blood coming from Bro and Davesprite.
 * Why would Spades kill Karkat? They're buddies!
 * Don't forget that the Trolls exiled him too. He would probably be damn pissed about it.
 * Jossed.

In a past session there was a player known as the Prince of Space
And guns were useless against him!
 * This is the best WMG
 * Space people that have been shown have both been girls. Sorry to bring cold hard JOSS up in here.

Garden Gnostic is responsible for the creation of the Beta
GG's recently revealed Pestering with Rose brought up just about all the clues necessary; just combine with GG's ill-defined abilities and overall strangeness.

GG tells Rose that she has just finished a birthday present for John that she's been working on for years; and it's sent in the mail, no less (OK, considering how far everyone lives from each other, it's not much of a clue, but still). A game of any kind, especially one as powerful as Sburb, would indeed take years to complete. GG also suggested to Rose the possibility of a game that would bring Jaspers back to life. And we have Rose saying that it's "pretty much all [Jaspers's] fault" that they're in the current situation. If GG's 'game' and Sburb are connected, then that would explain that line from Rose, considering how badly Sburb has screwed up the situation lately.
 * But the Sburb beta wasn't GG's present to John; there was a green package with the mail that was still in the car when it fell into the void. Green is GG's signature color. However, GG was at least the first of the four protagonists to know about Sburb, and he intentionally turned Rose onto it in hope that it would bring Jaspers back to life. She may or may not have had anything to do with the development of the game.
 * What would happen if Jasper was prototyped with the Kernelsprite?
 * What about this little tidbit, though? Clicking HOME on the SBURB bunker sends it to a certain area. That place has the same geographic coordinates as GG's home.

Later in canon it was revealed that while Jade herself wasn't involved, her grandfather was, and the pictograms on the Frog Temple are the code for Sburb
 * Wait, when was it revealed that Grandpa Harley had anything to do with Sburb?
 * Formspring responses/Hivebent: Sollux translated the pictograms on the ruins to get the base code for Sgrub and Harley was the only one who could have gotten them (the island was mentioned in the EOA 4 epilogue to be unexplored till the Harleys came through)

Dave is part Weasel.
He is frequently resisting the urge to Flip the Fuck Out because of his brother's puppets. If the wiki is correct in saying that Shale Imps will appear in Rose's and Dave's houses, each with the houses' respective motifs, it's safe to say that Dave will Flip the Fuck Out.
 * Jossed, Dave is pretty okay with imps.
 * And the wiki turned out to be wrong about why the imps were the way they were.

The kids will become the new EXALTED RULERS of the kingdoms once they ascend to Skaia, which has happened many times before.
Doing this, they save Earth's population from certain doom... by moving them all into the kingdoms. Unfortunately, the people who already live there will have to leave forever. adiosToreador was referring to the exodus when he said "iT'S THE MOST AWFUL THING, tHE WORST YOU CAN EVER DO,"

It is an endless cycle of one race kicking the other out of the kingdoms to escape an apocalypse. The current EXALTED RULERS were the heroes who saved the people of their own planet by working their way up the Gates and defeating the previous EXALTED RULERS (who were the hero of their own people and so on and so forth). Each displaced race is dumped on the usurpers' ruined planet; we know three of the survivors as the Wayward Vagabond, Peregrine Mendicant and Aimless Renegade, and the trolls are members of an earlier race who have managed to rebuild on a foreign world. In time, the meteor strikes will happen to some other alien civilization, and the kids will be the bad guys to defeat. (Of course, they'll be able to stop the cycle forever before that happens.)
 * gallowsCalibrator has stated that the Trolls have their own exiles from their old world. This theory is looking good so far.

Jossed by Act 5

Jade will undergo a change in personality now that her dream-self is dead.

 * Man, I hope she doesn't change too much. After the Act 4 ending, and with even worse stuff apparently still to come, the kids could use a bit of a feelgood arc (The Troll arc in Act 5 sort of counts, but not from the kids' point of view).
 * This is still highly debatable. While she's known all along that her dream-self would die at some point due to her body being up at the top of the tower, she suffers indirect consequences in the form of her no longer having typical dreams. (Either she has dreams about the furthest ring or standard dreams.)
 * Jossed. If anything, her dreamself is more affected by her death than Jade herself is.

Doomed Dave has/had a dreamself trapped inside Derse
There are two Daves dressed in Derse Dreamer clothes, and there has to be some reason. When Doomed Dave died, his dreamself was awakened. Unfortunately, Jade didn't watch for long enough to see if this one died of the injuries it was presumably destined to receive.
 * No he's DEAD.

The second Dream Dave belongs to Alternate Future Dave
When he was "killed," his soul retreated into the pendant and was considered "asleep." Then he woke up inside the core of Derse, etcetera.
 * Nope, Davesprite's still kicking around.

Jade will have Eridan as a serious threat, if not be killed by him.
So far, Eridan's two kills have both had some connection to Jade (Feferi is a Witch, and Kanaya's thing is space.) The latter of which had a dreamself death very similar to Jade's dreamself (we see Kanaya being burnt up, and the aftermath of whatever happened to Jade left her scorched badly), and beyond that connection, they all seem to have something to do with Squiddles or the Alternian Equivialent, Cuttlefish (Kanaya has a lunchtop very similar to Jade's.). Considering Eridan's theme is based off of Catchygrabber this would probably spell doom for anyone who is Squiddle related. And Rose blanked out her display and is much higher along her ladder than Jade is, so Eridan would probably pick the Jade over Rose since his attacks would be harder to see against the white snow. Plus, it would be like Hussie to have a Karkat 'You have never been so scared in your entire life' callback.

And if Jade did die, the group that would be formed by that would be a group of four with 1 kid and 3 trolls.
 * Jossed, Eridan dies to Kanaya. Also just based on weapons, Jade seems to be rapidly becoming stronger than Rose.

Gamzee is setting himself up as Dark Link to John's Wind Waker.
John's previous chumhandle was ghostyTrickster, and clowns are similar to tricksters. In [S] John: Rise Up, the music track is called "Savior of the Waking World"; Gamzee is claiming to be the Mirthful Messiahs. Note, also, the mythological connection between Capricorn and Typheus: according to one tale, Pan threw Typheus into a river, and the parts that were submerged became fishlike, while the dry bits were goatlike.
 * Jossed in that Gamzee has set himself up as a rival to Dave.

Rose's "black out" will be caused by an irregular ascension to the god tier.
As Doc Scratch just recently informed us, a god tier player cannot die, unless the death is heroic or just. And, as he mentions at the end of that page, the plan to destroy the Green Sun and kill Scratch isn't either - his death will usher in Lord English, a much greater threat. Rose will realize that if she reaches the god tier, the Tumor won't kill her. The "second quest bed" mentioned is an unusual phenomena of some sort, to the point where no one, not even the trolls, had any idea it existed. The only reason it's a viable option for Rose is likely because of her black magic, but using it to such a degree will cause the black out somehow when she ascends.
 * Jossed, as we've seen her right before the black out and she's nowhere near death
 * Technically, I never said anything about death involved in the "irregular ascension," but nonetheless Jossed (unless this is Rose's god tier). But hey, still half-right, the blackout was in fact caused by a huge degree of horrorterror-powered black magic. Woooooo
 * It isn't her god tier, but still seemingly on par with that level of power.

Dave will cause the Scratch, and do it in a way that saves the Kids.
We already know it will be either John or Dave, and as the Knight of Time, Dave is the one most likely to be able to somehow protect everyone from the reset. Alternatively. ..
 * The main problem with this; if Dave was supposed to do this, why didn't he in the doomed timeline?
 * Because in the doomed timeline, Bec Noir was never born and thus the scratch never succeeded.
 * Bec Noir doesn't cause the Scratch. One of the players does, this discussion is about whether it was Dave or John. Bec Noir doesn't enter into it at all.
 * Jossed, it's John.

Rose's dreamself will die, most likely at the hands of DD.
DD has been keeping tabs on everybody and most likely knows about Rose's plan to destroy the Green Sun. Hussie mentioned previously that the reason the Black Queen doesn't kill the Derse dreamers immediately is because she has the foresight to know that they could still be useful to her. Jack, however, lacks such foresight. As such, he will try to kill everybody. And the only one of his agents on Derse is, you guessed it, DD.

John will be forced to break the Horror Terrors' hold over Rose.
What was said in jest here will become deadly serious.
 * Straight up Jossed.

The Rose who died fighting Noir was a doomed paradox clone.

 * Nope.

The original versions of the Bunny's weapons are wielded by the Kids' Denizens... but not their respective ones
Echidna, of course, uses the Quills of Echidna. Hephaestus uses the Warhammer of Zillyhoo in his forge. Cetus (or "the whale") uses Ahab's Crosshairs, and Typheus uses the Royal Derringer by process of elimination.
 * Jossed? Hephaestus used the Fear No Anvil.

The Trolls are just emphasis's on parts of the main character's personalities.
Jade:
 * cuttlefishCuller represents her Enthusiasm and kindness. She is what mainly shows when other characters interact with her.
 * Nepeta Represents what she will never do, but what she considers doing.
 * Kanaya represents her subconscious. This is what she does unwittingly, and how her enviroment makes her react.

Rose:
 * Karkat represents her subconscious. This is what she behaves like unwittingly, and how others makes her react.


 * Jossed.

The bunny is powered by love.
It only worked for Jack because of his Kismesissitude for the Black Queen, but when he confronted John, John's love for Jade and all his friends overpowered it and took control. The kids will defeat Jack by loving each other and appreciating their friendship.
 * Jossed

Karkat's blood becomes temporarily invincible upon emerging from his body.
Thus why it was flashing different colors.
 * Jossed

Eridan will have the most character development of any character in Homestuck, more so than even the Kids.
He's the Aquarius troll. In astrology, Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, the planet of change and the unexpected. It seems only reasonable he'd grow out of his genocidal tendencies and start accepting trolls (and humans) for what they are eventually.
 * If by character development you mean, then yeah, confirmed.
 * If by confirmed you mean Jossed.

Doc Scratch is a MEOW-code clone of all twelve trolls.
Assuming that all the troll kids are straight paradox clones of themselves, not combined from other DNA (which wouldn't make sense in context), the machine could easily slough off their ectoplasmic DNA structures into a single large mixed vat. Karkat would, in all likelihood, ignore this vat, because seriously he doesn't want to see it, but that wouldn't stop DD from mixing it with the MEOW code.
 * Close, but ultimately Jossed. Doc Scratch was created with the trolls' session's version of the MEOW code, but that was completely different, and he was cloned from.

Bro is the reincarnation of Kamina
The shades, the improbable fighting prowess and the feats that can only be adequately explained through the use of spiral energy; example: Yeah.
 * Jossed, Andrew didn't even know who he was.

Andrew is going to somehow use each and every one of these theories.
What? There's precedent for it.
 * Yeah, except at this point there have probably been more jossed theories than confirmed ones.

Jack is a good guy.
Jack is aware of the implications of Sburb and its role in summoning Lord English. He's attempting to avoid it by subverting and destroying the mechanics of the game. This includes destroying Skaia so the kids cant use it for the ultimate alchemy, destroying Prospit so they can't get help from the denizens of light, and attempting to destroy their planets so they can't proceed. He even took steps to make sure Earth's guardian was created from an ordinary pet dog, to throw doubt on its loyalty to Lord English and to ensure that it wouldn't be smart enough to scheme the way Doc Scratch did.

I'm also guessing that he's responsible for the Rift, as a means of accessing other sessions in an attempt to disrupt them similarly.
 * I've thought about this too, and it would certainly be an interesting parallel to Spades Slick's war on Lord English and the Felt on ruined Alternia. Unfortunately, by destroying Skaia and then creating the Rift and breaking the Troll session, he would actually be bringing about the end of two universes, ending the loop and effectively summoning Lord English himself.
 * Or, Jack is just a murderous grump who wants to destroy the infrastructure of the Incipisphere so he can get on with the business of creating a world in his own image, the way Troll-Jack did as Spades Slick once he was Exiled. However, neither Jack likes the idea of Lord English horning in on his territory, and Mr.Slick's vendetta against him in the Intermission foreshadows an eventual Heel Face Turn once Lord English arrives in the Kid's session.
 * Jossed by later updates: Jack takes gleeful pride in murders and is only doing it to stave off boredom.

Every last character in Homestuck (save for Dad/Mr. Egbert, the Kids and Trolls) is actually an AI in Sburb, which is really a front for Lord English's crimes.
Bear with me, please. I know where I'm going with this.

We know that John created all of the Guardians and the Kids (including himself) via paradox cloning, and sent them to different eras to make sure that he'd even be able to do all of this in the first place. We also know Karkat did so as well for the Trolls, and that according to him at least one person per non-null session would do so in order to make the players involved. The point that this brings up is that if all this is true, then it would imply that they were always in the game in the first place. Nobody who was in a Sburb session simply entered it; they returned.

However, this doesn't mean that the Kids and Trolls were hard-coded into the simulation; it is just as likely that they're actual people (in a 4:12 split by certain differences that get exaggerated in the simulation) who Lord English has targeted for his own agenda. From this, then, he created an entire simulation to confuse them and make them believe that Sburb was reality, complete with fake Guardians who seem to care for them more than their actual legal guardians would, and a fake Internet that somehow works even when all means of getting connected are seemingly severed. Even the other players Karkat was talking about are really NPCs to give an illusion of community. For this, he could easily exploit their misfortunes and add to his power, making sure that everyone remains unaware.

The First Guardians are also creations of English. The key difference is that they have more power than any other AI in Sburb, even more than the Black King, so it stands to reason that English would use them as moderators to make sure the players stay in line. It seems that he'd create Doc Scratch first, as the twelve Trolls were (if Alternia coming before Earth was just covering for it) the first victims of his simulation, and weren't particularly resistant. As for the four Kids, they seemed to be more so, especially one of them who seemed to be more aware than English hoped. So through various machinations, he created a second First Guardian to moderate the four newer Kids and keep their threat level down.

As for Mr. Egbert? He wasn't involved in the paradox cloning at all. This means that he is outside the time loops, and by extension from outside Sburb. It remains to be seen just who exactly he is, how he ended up in Sburb, and what his motivations were to enter it.

In short, Lord English created Sburb to continue his criminal activity and torture sixteen kids with illusions of reality. "Mr. Egbert" may or may not stop him.
 * This is stupid. Jossed.

Lord English will be summoned by
Ties in with the above theory of him being the. Okay, he isn't, nevermind.
 * Jossed

A "Europa" character is going to factor into the plot somehow.

 * Jossed.

Dream Jade was playing games with Problem Sleuth Death

 * Jossed.

John will server host one of the trolls and one of the trolls will client Jade to form some kind of Mobius triple-reacharound thus making a 16-prototyped Jack.
Well, John still hasn't gotten his server disk. Perhaps once he does get it, the rift will do something to allow the trolls entry into the kids' game session.
 * Jossed. He's Jade's Server Player.

Terezi leading John to his death was an attempt to Murder the Hypotenuse.
Terezi found out about Karkat's kismetic feelings toward John, but she wanted Karkat all to herself. So she lead John to his Denizen prematurely, knowing he'd get killed so that she could be the sole target of Karkat's hatred, which would have skyrocketed due to her machinations.

Granted, this troper isn't completely convinced Terezi is the jealous type, but figured it was still worth adding to the list.
 * Possible, but I always pinned Terezi's feelings for Karkat as being more red (the glory of Troll biology is that it makes Tenchi Solutions obligatory).
 * True. Still, troll romance is ridiculously complicated, and maybe Karkat, despite his knowledge, isn't that good at balancing his redrom and blackrom evenly. Whether Terezi has red feelings or black feelings, maybe Karkat just put too much of his general focus on John, instead of splitting it between Terezi and John. But these are still just theories.
 * Maybe if she only decides to off John when she realizes that he's fundamentally a nice guy. As Karkat's kismesis, he wouldn't be in competition with her... but John's not much more capable of blackrom than Tavros is, I don't think, and caliginous feelings can often shift to flushed. Terezi might have been afraid that if John wouldn't reciprocate Karkat's hate, Karkat might begin to consider other attractions to John.
 * Jossed by Word of God: She did it to try and fight fate.

Spades Slick will eventually enter the kids' universe and battle Jack Noir.
It will be AWESOME. Snowman will follow Slick, because why not. Jack Noir will see her, think she's his Black Queen resurrected, freak out -- "Oh god oh god I fucking tore you to pieces and stomped on them and you're still here WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE I KILLED YOU" -- and break down sobbing. It will be hilarious.
 * Alternately, Jackspers will promptly flip the fuck out (again) and try to kill her again, and Slick will be forced to step in and help defend Snowman.
 * Let's take this further. Noir does kill Snowman, destroying the universe they are currently in and summoning Lord English. Nice job breaking it, villain.
 * One possible variation is Spades Slick finds the ring hidden in the royal vault (if it's the same vault he's currently in), and uses its prototypes to fight against the fully prototyped Jack Noir from the kids' universe (whether or not he's actually Lord English).
 * Based off the fact that those prototypes include Feferi and Vriska's Lusus, the battle would be just like Problem Sleuth versus Demonhead Mobster Kingpin. Except you'd be rooting for Demonhead Mobster Kingpin. And they're actually the same person.
 * This is Jossed.

There are only two universes.
And SBURB keeps life cycling back and forth endlessly between them as a way of keeping Lord English trapped. At any given time one of the universes is inhabited by exiles from the last game session whose job is to rebuild the world, and the other contains the descendants of the last group of players (who presumably also interbreed with the exiles who fixed it up and their progeny to make repopulation more feasible, even better if there's something about the exiled game characters that wards off the negative effects of inbreeding until either the exile blood gets too diluted or people start to evolve away from their roots), except for current Earth which is populated entirely by the descendants of the exiles from two game sessions back because the trolls never got in.

Whenever the currently active universe reaches a point where the forces of entropy are about to take over and slowly drag it all downhill to the end of the universe and LE's release, instead SBURB activates and clears things out so the universe will be rebuilt instead, flipping things around so instead of entropy taking over creative energy surges. And the surviving original life from that world gets to move onto the fully restored other homeworld, after they've played through the game and proven that they're strong enough to face whatever the past exiles have built up there. If they aren't strong enough, well, humanity proves that repopulation will go on anyway.

When they reach the end of the game they only think that the ultimate alchemy they use is creating a new universe. In truth it's creating the door to let them through it, and their very own constellations as a kind of trophy to mark that they've beaten the game. (Mortal minds are incapable of grasping just how enormous the amount of grist needed to create a whole universe would be, so they look at the already mind-bogglingly huge amount needed to create a few star systems and assume that with a number that massive it just has to be a whole universe that they're making!)
 * Jossed.

In the kid's session, The Gods of the Furthest Ring are the trolls, and Beq is loyal to them.
Makes sense to me. I mean, they did make the universe. They probably only destroyed the code because they thought he'd become loyal to Lord English.
 * Jossed. The Gods of the Furthest Ring are various horrorterrors, and the Furthest Ring itself is not unique to sessions since it connects all of them.

In the troll's session, The Gods of the Furthest Ring are The Felt.
Going by the previous theory, this would also make them a previous group of Sburb/Sgrub/whatever players. This would explain why they don't look like anyone else in Homestuck. Also, Doc Scratch is there to facilitate Alternia's ultimate purpose. If The Felt made Alternia, they made it with the intent of summoning their boss.
 * Jossed. The Furthest Ring connects all sessions, so there's no individual instance of it for each session. It's why Feferi's still able to visit Jade in her dreams.

The few troll players who apparently don't have any type of mutation are the clone-parents of the others.
All of their paradox ghost slime was then mixed into an incestuous slurry, which spewed out a load of mutants because troll biology is designed so the young are meant to be created drawing on the traits of billions of troll, not just a small handful.
 * Jossed.

The Kids are somehow going to be able to create a universe as well, despite what the Trolls claim.
And it will be the Trolls' own universe. The Double Reacharound strikes again, with the sole purpose of making a place Lord English can't escape from. He's already here... because he's always been.
 * There's actually a few inklings that this is exactly the case. Consider Alternia's Sun (red, Dave) and two moons (green, Jade and purple, Rose), and you have "influences" from three of the four kids already! So what about blue (John)? Go back to when the universe zooms out to Sollux's face -- the troll universe is in the blue lense. Likewise, the SGRUB cursor is blue. It's not quite a solid argument, but given the nature of this comic, it's not too far fetched, either.
 * Completely Jossed.

Dropping typing quirks is a trait only purple bloods have access to
Eridan, Feferi, and Gamzee are the only ones we've seen drop their quirks. (Karkat is seen imitating Feferi's quirk in Alterniabound, but he's a mutant.)
 * Nepeta said perfect once. Sorry.
 * Perhaps dropping their typing quirks unintentionally is somewhat of the troll version of a typo?
 * Aradia drops her quirks at one point.
 * Which leads to a bit of fridge brilliance: she's a red blood put into a robot that's a blue blood. What do red and blue put together equal?
 * This is officially Jossed. Any of the trolls can drop it, they just don't feel like it.

The Midnight Crews' names and suits have to do with their relationships with the Black Queen

 * Spades Slick is her Kismesis. This is canon.
 * Clubs Deuce was their Auspistice.
 * Diamonds Droog was her Moirail.
 * Hearts Boxcars felt he was her Matesprit...but then she married the Black King.
 * May be partially Jossed. This page suggests Doc Scratch is their Auspistice.
 * She doesn't even seem to be aware of the rest of the Crew in the Kid's session. They're Jack's underlings, so she doesn't pay attention to them.

Lotus, or one of its variations, will be the music for Jade's land
Seems to be a likely candidate. It could easily be looped for a walk-about section or just played as is.
 * Jossed.

Homestuck will end on the 2nd of February 2011.
The 2nd of February 2011 will be 1025 days since Homestuck started. 413 + 612 = 1025. Seems a reasonable guess. Plus it would fit in the current estimate that it will last somewhere over two years. Either that or it'll finish on the 1st of February because that would be the 1025th day.
 * Hussie has more or less stated at this point that trying to keep to some strict schedule is completely impossible for him, so I doubt it.
 * Obviously, completely Jossed by now.

Jade can write, but not speak.
She hasn't had the chance for a long time.
 * Jossed, she probably learned to speak from Prospitians

Act 5-2 will end when Jade enters the medium, and Act 6 will end with the Rift.
These seem like the most logical cut-off points (though some twist or subversion is likely). That way, the final act will deal with the post-rift events where everything has gone to hell and the Grand Finale is immement.
 * The first part got jossed. Jade entered the medium, and Act 5 still isn't over yet
 * Second is jossed too.

Bro is a puppet
Lil' Cal has been making it look like he was moving on his own all this time.
 * Jossed, blood.

This WMG page is the new suggestion box.
Hussie continually checks this page here, picks out the WMGs that he likes AND would make the most sense in the plot, and makes it canon.
 * Jossed he hates TV Tropes.

Sburb is a representation of events that happened eons ago, in a long-dead universe
The planets, Derse and Prospit included, are mirrors of planets that existed in that universe, and Skaia was a source of great power located in the center. The black-carapaced beings from Derse wanted to take it as their own, but the white-carapaced Propites wanted equilibrium in the universe, so they tried to protect it. While the two worlds warred on the planet the power rested on (represented by the battlefield), the other races tried to stay out of it... until one day, a young frog named Bilious Slick decided to stop the war. He rallied all of the other planets to his side, but it only brought the wrath of the Dersians upon them. But they persevered, and Slick and his compatriots eventually assassinated the Black King and Queen, stopping the war. Sadly, it was too late for most of the universe; entire planets were burned bare and whole races were wiped out. Slick and his army, together numbering 1025, were all that was left of civilization. In despair, they turned to the great power and tried to recreate their world as it once was. But the power could not recreate; it could only create new things. Slick and his friends then created the Medium, the Incipisphere, Skaia, and a whole new universe that would be infinitely connected to them. If the new universe came to face such a peril as theirs, there would be a relatively easily accessible way to start over.

Slick put in the Frog Temples as a "signature" of sorts, a sign that he had once existed. The races on the planets are copies of those that allied with Slick and the frogs. The Dersians and Prospites are identical because they had all died when the new universe was creates, so Slick based them off of gamepieces from a game that is as old as existence itself.
 * So Lord English is a frog that went rogue?
 * Lord English was never meant as part of the game, but is rather a glitch in the system, perhaps caused by the Medium copying itself so many times, causing it to be permanently warped... rather like JPEG compression.


 * Jossed.

The whole "I'm not homosexual" thing is a huge temporal misunderstanding.
John actually is homosexual (or bisexual). But thanks to this conversation, he deduced that Karkat was talking about himself and completely shot down Karkat since he figured that Karkat was right about not having a big make-out session with the trolls and Karkat had probably "GOTTEN TOO WRAPPED UP IN A SORT OF CALIGINOUS IDEAL" or was not "THINKING TOO CLEARLY AT THAT MOMENT", and deemed pursuing him to be a bad idea.
 * I know this is a Het Is Ew fandom, but that seems a bit of a stretch.
 * I'm more inclined to think Jade is either bi or completely asexual--growing up with no human contact other than her deceased grandfather and a bunch of dolls, she'll probably find intercourse with either sex to be either equally enticing, or equally revolting. John's rejection of Karkat's caliginous advances should probably be taken at face value.
 * Yeah this is pretty jossed? John is interested in Rose and Vriska. Andrew at any rate is not genuinely exploring children's sexuality and neither should you.

The Beat Mesa is half of a massive pair of Timetables.
They're fairly similar, aesthetically. Eventually, the kids will use them as part of their plan to meet up with the trolls - they'll use them to warp the entire Land of Heat and Clockwork into the troll's universe, take them aboard (as it were), and then warp back, ready to wreck Jack's shit with four times the party size.
 * Jossed, but partially correct. By scratching it, John will cause a massive release of time energy and hard reboot the game.

There are fake copies of The Tumor
John will find at least one of these copies. Then he will then throw it away in disgust, realising that, in fact it's not The Toomah.
 * Jossed.

Who caused the scratch? Lord English.
Word of God states that  Noir   due to the scratch, which did not occur upon being. In fact, it's implied that the kids are somehow responsible for it, but we haven't yet seen how this comes about. We do know that it involves The Green Sun, the "source" of the first guardians, one of whom we know is working for Lord English. So maybe the kids somehow call in Lord English in order to induce the scratch and bring about a Good Ending.
 * Jossed.

Bec Head Base was gathered by the survivors of prospit
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004838 and http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004839 show the base being built from several pieces from around the world, maybe it was retrieved by the many servants of prospit? Even better if Ms.Paint shows up.
 * I figured the pieces got scattered when Becsprite (presumably) blew up the giant meteor over Jade's house. The only thing that reassembled it was when WQ turned the switch on the main unit.
 * The above is correct, the WMG is Jossed.

Jack will kill all of the sprites and guardians, excluding Grandpa because he has to make it back to Earth to be stuffed.

 * Mom and Dad will try to stop Jack from tearing apart the now-fully-evolved Battlefield. They will fail.
 * Confirmed in a sense
 * Nannasprite will die stalling Jack so that John can escape from LOWAS.
 * This particular thing is Jossed, but the spirit behind it...maybe.
 * Jack will happen upon Jaspersprite while he is chatting with Nepeta. We will see this from Nepeta's perspective. It will be heartbreaking.
 * Jaspersprite dies during the Scratch.
 * Becsprite will sacrifice himself in an extremely grand way during the final battle. This will be required to give the kids and trolls the slightest chance of victory.
 * Probably not considering Jadesprite.

Vriska, no matter how much luck she can steal, is still going to get trashed by Bec Noir.
It's quite clear that she loves playing really high stakes, so what stakes could be higher than challenging someone who was prototyped with a First Guardian, and is just flat out murder-happy? Except that since he was prototyped with a Reality Warper, he could simply carve a bloody blue swath through Vriska before she could even try to steal his luck.

In other words, Vriska, by causing Bec Noir to be made and then having the audacity to try to defeat him, is pretty much asking for it.
 * Moreover, it's going to get her outright killed. As Doc Scratch kind of predicted.
 * Alternatively, Tavros will save her. He is the only one who cares enough to do so: the rest won't bother risking their lives for the douchebag.
 * Jossed. She stood the best chance out of anyone shown yet and could've beaten him possibly.

Equius will construct a new dream-bot for Jade
And the kids will utilize it to bring Jade to god-tier levels. Jade will become half-robot.
 * Jossed.

Tavros will possess Jadesprite and kiss Jade.
He will, perhaps after falling down the stairs, attempt to possess Becsprite to warn Jade and the humans about Vriska and steal a kiss. What Karkat was thinking about was the future he saw.
 * Jossed.

Rose succeeds in destroying the Green Sun, but Bec Noir retains Space powers due to Dream Jade's prototyping.
In [S] Wake and others, Noir is seen wielding space abilities without wearing sunglasses to protect his eyes from the Green Sun. Rose's plan works, and the Sun is destroyed, but because Jade is the Witch of Space, she has access to Space abilities without need of the Sun. As Dream Jade is still Jade, by transitive property, Noir will retain his Space powers after the Green Sun's demise, ditching the glasses as a sign he does not need to wear them.
 * Pre-Jossed, based on factual error: Post-entry prototyping doesn't have an effect. Otherwise we'd have Nanna, Dave, and Jade-faced imps running around.

The Countdown Without a Clock to Claim It is counting down to the death of

 * Possibly Jossed: This log has Karat and Terezi post from what we later learn to be one hour after the CRITICAL MOMENTS ends. Confirmed by Hussie, barring his threatened retcon or a major revelation like one of the character's being impersonated.
 * Completely Jossed.

It will take a scratch to kill a scratch.
This will be the plan the Trolls and Kids come up with-to purposely glitch the game, and create their own scratch to demote Jack Noir into Snowman's bitch. Also, the Eldritch/Squiddles are a third session, and their game will be key to restoring both the Trolls and Kids' worlds.
 * Jossed.

Vriska is out to kill everybody.
She should have been able to tell that stopping John would have disastrous consequences, considering the whole "watch from any point on the timeline" thing. There is almost no way that she didn't know what she did would cause what happened. Plus, that face she made... did not look very pleasant whatsoever. As for why... Who knows? Maybe she decided a world without Nicholas Cage isn't worth living in, and wants to take everyone else down with her. Or maybe she's just a huge bitch. (bluh bluh)
 * Confirmed insofar as stopping John was completely deliberate. Not so much with the malicious intent.
 * annnnnd Jossed.

Betty Crocker is a First Guardian.
Barring any unexpected additions to the plot, this is the most likely explanation for her not being human and still being alive prior to the Kids' session. It also helps to explain her ubiquitousness.

John percieves the outside world's people to be nothing.
Just like how the way a guardian looks reflects their respective kids perception of them, that is exactly how John percieves the people around him other than his friends and family- like they never existed.

The blood on Jack's hand when he enters the troll session was Jade's
but not from killing her. she was either dead or mortally wounded, and he tried to save her.
 * This is incorrect about the blood. The blood belonged to WV as Noir ripped the chunk of Uranium out of his gut to power a teleporter. However, he not only tried to save Jade, he actually did.

There was only ever one session.
I was rereading some earlier strips, mostly the ones involving the trolls' session. At one point it is pointed out that despite the fact there were two separate teams and units that seemed to suggest two distinct sessions, the eventual twist in the story is that there was always only one session.

Now remember this is a story about self-reciprocation, is it possible that the trolls' sessions and the kids' sessions are connected more than that? The answer occurred to me yes and Cascade seemed to further confirm it. Jack Noir was easily able to transport to the trolls' world using the equipment on Earth.

I thought maybe the original intent of the game is to create the universe that created your universe. Basically, the kids created the trolls' universe and the trolls' created the kids universe. A stable time-loop, but at this point I'm not sure. As in this case these two sessions were necessary for the creation of the Green Sun.

Then I thought, "Due to the fact that the game take place in a timeless zone, perhaps all sessions are taking place simultaneously." Then perhaps that all the sessions are depending on each other for one reason or another. If that's the case maybe all the sessions are just one really huge session at work.
 * Yeah, I've been believing that each universe is really a link in the chain, creating the next... until it becomes a huge (probably infinite) loop.

The Dates/Special Numbers correspond to the number of surviving memebers of that group.
The special number for the trolls seems to be 6/12 which is the fraction of trolls still alive. If Hussie uses U as part of the Pester Chum coding, there will be 25 kids playing. This means that there should be 9 more players. Homestuck then made 10/25 a special date, because it is equal to the kids and the trolls numbers added together. The kids numbers are 4/13 which, sadly, means that all of the dead characters from now on should be human kids.
 * Sollux looks to be dead. So much for that.

Earth's Sburb session has already been Scratched, each reset will always have The Tumor, and Mr. Egbert is John from the previous session.
Earth's Tumor is not merely a mutation, but a design - Earth is the last of the worlds, and The Tumor signals the planned end of the universe. Each reset reverses absolutely everything about the session, so the trolls don't know about any Scratched sessions (even if they intervened in or even died in them). There was one session previous to the session where the story takes place, wherein John was able to successfully complete the Scratch, but was the only survivor of the game. He fell to Earth at a random point in time - sometimes in the seventies, to be precise - just in time to be found by Nanna, who realized the pattern of children falling from meteors and took him in.

In 1995, when the meteors began to fall from the sky, older!John contacted Rose's Mom, Dave's Bro, and Jade's Grandfather and told them the truth, which they were quick to accept due to their own odd upbringings, and told them to prepare their newfound children for their fate. Five months later, young John fell from the sky, and this John (not knowing that the Tumor was present in every session) both prepared him for his role as the Heir of Breath and lavished love on him, but (like the other guardians) did not actually tell him anything.

But their plans failed due to the presence of a Tumor. The John in this story, too, is fated to become his own father - but he will somehow (perhaps with a note from his father) be armed with the knowledge that the Tumor is in every session, and will use the time he has (and a new John) to figure out how to truly break the loop in a third session of Sburb.
 * Nope, they'll go the session not the Earth itself.
 * On the other hand, there is now precedent for the heroes of a pre-scratched session to become the guardians of a post-scratch one...

The Draconian Dignitary is going to pilot Derse's moon into the Green Sun.
Tired of Bec Noir's antics, and knowing that the kids ultimately have a better chance of defeating him than he does, DD is going to kick Rose out of the moon and pilot it himself. 2x Armageddon Reference Combo!
 * Jossed by [S] Cascade

Kanaya is going to Kimesis for John. HARD.
Her current relationship with Rose is based on her belief that the first conversation she ever had with Rose was an attempt at aggression, that has caused her no end of strife. When she eventually discovers all of this strife has been caused by a single act of trolling by John, AND that he simultaneously embarrassed Rose seconds after their first conversation, in the most lewd of ways possible for Trolls, she will know unbridled rage towards him.

Completely, utterly unbridled.
 * Word of Gay says Kanaya would never be interested in John.

The trolls will attempt to scratch their incipisphere at the same time the kids scratch theirs.
Doc Scratch mentions the idea of circumstantial simultaneity here, while examining the doomed timeline where Vriska fights Jack. Somehow, the idea seems a bit too important to be regulated to a doomed timeline, since Scratch mentions that similar events will lead up to his death. It's not known whether the troll's equivalent to the Beat Mesa survived Jack's rampage, but if it did, they might make an attempt to reset their universe in order to unbork everything that was borked by Jack's appearance.

This, of course, is the event that leads to Jack entering the troll's session in the first place, as resetting both games at the same time causes them to connect. As Doc Scratch said, Jack's departure didn't have anything to do with the scratch. At least, not the one the kids cause.
 * Jossed by [S] Cascade (if not before)

Jade's Green Sun Streetsweeper will have the power of reality warping.
Come on, it has "Green Sun" in it's name, and the Green Sun is what gives first guardians like Bec their powers. This will make it much easier for Jade to kill Uranium Imps.
 * It looks to just be a really strong gun. Names don't especially mean much.

Vriska is able to give luck as well as take it away.
This explains why, in the Midnight Crew interlude (being the future of the troll-verse), Clover was so lucky despite Vriska already having All The Luck.
 * Clover is not related to Vriska at all.

The Guardians, Trolls, dead Dreamselves, dead realselves, Dersites, Prospitians, and Felt will return.
But one person will have to stay behind to distract Death.
 * Death is confirmed to not work like that in the HS verse; players have dreambubble Purgatory in a sense, but everyone else has some afterlife that has yet to be seen. The one person who has returned from that was incredibly upset about it.

Jack will kill Lord English
See, remember the odd program sollux had on his computer? It was programed to summon Lord English as an unstoppable demon, but when Bec was prototyped, Jack became unstoppable. Thus the scratch was made, to have jack bring the end to the troll universe, and kill Lord English.

The battle in the other plane is beyond time.
Under certain conditions what occurs in that other plane always will have been like that. On the bad side, that means the walls of John's room were always vandalized. On the badder side the world is doomed because it is being destroyed, thus will always have had been destroyed.

On the bright side? If John and his allies emerge victorious it will always have had been better.
 * It is beyond time, but that doesn't mean that time is not linear. Earth is doomed no matter what.

The monsters that the Guardians are seen fighting in the 4/13 Flash are the Denizens of the kid's respective worlds.
Shortly thereafter, Maplehoof discovers a massive grist hoard after Rose's Mom defeats her monster. The only known hoards of this magnitude are those left over by the Denizens, so...
 * However, aren't the Denizens in their respective palaces and currently sleeping?
 * You wish. Those are just the mid-level monsters. The Guardians will be orders of magnitude scarier.

Dave's Bro really is being ironic with the puppets
Because at this point that would be a whole lot more surprising than if he wasn't. Therefore it makes for a better plot twist and must be so.
 * We'll never know because he's dead.

The story will end by the kids breaking the prophecy and saving the world

 * Nope. Earth's boned has been, was, and will be. They can't change that.

The EXALTED RULER is Spades Slick's father, and Snowman is his sister
All three of them share the same features,such as the black carapace and fangs, liking of violence, the ability to hold authority over others...there is also the fact that Snowman seemingly does not want to kill Slick, going for just maiming and humiliating him instead - like an version of a brother-sister relationship. And Jack Noir (basically Spades Slick in mindset) behaves like a rebellious teenager with regards to the EXALTED RULER. The general theme of parents/guardians and their children in Homestuck also adds weight to this possibility.
 * Probably not given that Jack and the BQ canonically have hatemance that in the troll's case at least developed into genuine romance.

John has latent psychic powers.
Not sure if there is much evidence for this, but his Pesterchum chat with Jade in this scene made it seem like she was hinting this.
 * Confirmed a couple of times, firstly with John's prophetic subconscious scribblings (which led to Dad thinking he liked harlequins, which led to lots of harlequins in the house, which led to harlequin prototyping and harlequin-themed enemies and John prophesising he'll face them and oh GPI another stable time loop) and secondly, now that Dream!John is awake and on Skaia, with genuine cloud visions (although the powers are no longer latent).
 * However he doesn't have psychic powers per se, because Skaian visions aren't psychic powers. He did however have a latent ability to control the Breeze which he eventually mastered.

A train of thought on Exiles, Skaian socioformation and the purpose of everything

 * The Exiles are seeded on ruined worlds to rebuild them.
 * Confirmed, but to rebuild their own society and eventually at some point in the future play Sburb again.
 * Each Exile is associated with a single Skaian Vault.
 * There are hundreds or dozens of exiles per game, but only 5 are exiles that actually affect the game and have terminals.
 * The barcode on the Exile's wrist functions as a private key their vault.
 * Slick's terminal is the only one shown yet to have this function
 * Spades Slick planned the assault on Lord English's estate to regain access to his vault.
 * Unlikely, he seemed surprised by what was in the vault and he was killing all the felt too.
 * Each vault has a link to a single Sburb player earlier in the world's timeline.
 * Confirmed-ish but they can switch around easily.
 * Each Exile is programmed to obsess over a certain aspect of society (mayorship, mail, law, organised crime) to facilitate rebuilding.
 * Their obsessions don't seemingly have much to do with rebuilding, PM becomes Queen and WV becomes a fighter instead of Mail Lady or Mayor.
 * The goal of our heroes is to break this vicious cycle.
 * Not yet, but we'll see.


 * Some of this may be true, but so far with the Vaults...probably not. Exiles are indeed programmed but only in the game sense as they are essentially NPCs. Jack and WV especially represent two methods of removing the final bosses prior to fighting them, although WV's rebellion removing the Black King is apparently much harder to pull off than Jack's Operation Regisurp to remove te Black Queen.

AH may have based the names SGRUB and SBURB off of real life experiences or sociology
SGRUB could represent the backwards nature of Alternia according to humans perspective, and SBURB represents the perspective of humans in general. Possibly representing the struggle of urban vs. suburban living; peaceful in the suburbs, while chaotic in the cities. Sort of like 2 sides of the same coin, and since the Trolls created the Humans; an alternate world/universe from their failed session, this may not be too far off. In Alternia, the Troll's lifestyle and how they exist is completely bizarre to us, while on Earth; Representing humanity in general, it is exactly how we live to an extent; which is bizarre to them, or whoever is left of them.
 * The Trolls' Lives were peaceful before an outside influence fubared them


 * Speaking of 2 sides of the same coin, the dream worlds of Derse and Prospit fall under a similar paradigm, but in a much older sense; the typical clash of light vs darkness, present in all fiction/lore/myth. AH even mentioned it at one point as a Kingdom of Light and a Kingdom of Darkness that were mentioned to be constantly at each others' throats and were to fight in one final battle when the time came in which Prospit would be defeated according to prophecy. Also, both sides fought alongside each other when presented with an existential threat (Jack Noir) . Also the tumor at the core of the Skaia is a Yin-Yang Symbol. Said Tumor must be the very forces of Chaos which lead to the birth of both universes, so by throwing it into the sun, a massive Scratch would occur and purge everything, resetting the entire multiverse.


 * However this may just be grasping at straws for me.

Dave's Bro is not being ironic...
And he isn't actually creepy either. He's just really, really boring.

This is the funniest outcome, and therefore the most likely.
 * We'll never find out now!

Dave's impressive physical feats are performed by a stunt double.
Seriously, he turns into a totally different person in closeups.
 * Art Shift

The Trolls fail at everything they do, which will soon become advantageous.
They tried trolling the kids. Didn't work out. Then they actually did try helping the kids. Didn't work out. However, the kids won't realize that was accidental and will be beyond angry with the trolls, who will respond by trying to more directly sabotage them. Won't work out.
 * This has played out to some extent already.

The war between Light and Darkness will have no winners.
Nanna said that the forces of good will lose. She didn't say anything about evil winning. Both sides will be destroyed, and the kids will exile the survivors to what's left of Earth, the once-beautiful planet their unrelated war ultimately ruined. This is the true goal of a game of Sburb, not to checkmate evil, but to burn the board.
 * Half-confirmed. Both sides of the war were wiped out...
 * In general though, Light wins by virtue of the players winning; in any session where the players lose then Light has lost.

The Kids represent the Ghostbusters, and the Exiles various important people from Ankh-Morpork
The green slime ghosts, the eldritch abominations, the particle physics and, above all else, the dread of stairs. There's a lot to connect the Kids with Ghostbusters even beyond John's obsession with it. You can even draw parallels between the Kids and the Ghostbusters: Rose, as the detached, verbose straight (wo)man, is Egon; smart-mouthed, quick-thinking egotist Dave is Peter; the exciteable, bright but scatterbrained Jade is Ray and John, the loveable everyman who's just been dragged into all of this, is Winston.

So much for Ghostbusters, what about the Exiles? WV's hatred of kings and AR's passion for the importance of law and justice add up between them to Commander Sam Vimes. Charismatic abdicated monarch WQ then becomes Captain Carrot, and PM probably ends up being Moist von Lipwig. Which makes you wonder where Lord Vetinari is. Perhaps DD is a fifth Exile :p.


 * DD's dead now.

The Gods of the Outer Ring are the Final Boss
They come from beyond the orbit of Derse, where the sky is forever dark, and they seethe with malice towards all manifestations of creative potential (but especially those products of creativity that manifest as dna strings necessary for the survival of the world.)

If you can be mindfucked by these creatures just by looking at the sky on Derse, then the entire planet is under their malign influence. They are the true power behind the dark throne, and the source of its strength. No wonder Light always loses -- Dark was receiving pieces from off the board!

Dave is a 'Prince of the moon'. The gods want a 'royal audience'. With King and Queen dead, Dave is the next in the line of succession. This the 'worst thing you could ever do': disrupting the course of the game badly enough that a player falls under the influence of individuals the want to smash the board and burn the pieces.


 * Corollary: Rose has already been "possessed" by these forces, while Dave is immune because he's never looked up into the night sky of Derse without his sunglasses on. This explains why Rose seemingly went off the deep end (or the "dark end") after her Future Dream Self fused with her - since it happened, she's already created weapons of dark magic (from a tome she wouldn't use as a weapon earlier because it was too evil) and blown up her gate.
 * Beyond blowing up her gate on a whim, what evidence do we have (that isn't cicumstantial) that Rose is losing it? The tome had instructions on BRINGING the Outer Ring Gods to the summoner. The Thorns just channel magic and the eldritch powers of one such god. Just playing Devil's advocate here...
 * The BK and BQ are the final bosses, the elderterrors are just the side that advises them. They're evil but unfought by a normal session.

The finale will feature a massive battle, involving the kids, the guardians, and the exiles
Specifically, John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Dad, Mom, Bro, Grandpa, Warweary Villein, Parcel Mistress, Authority Regulator, White Queen, and Bec vs. Jackspers Noirlecrow, Draconian Dignitary, Hegemonic Brute, and Courtyard Droll. Note that this battle pits a team of 13 vs a team of 4.
 * Well there's a lot of joss considering like half the list is dead or doomed.

Dream!Jade gave Dream!John the WQ's ring before she died
It wouldn't be much of a Chekhov's Gun if it was lost when Dream!Jade died, now would it?
 * To back this up, when Dream!Jade is shaking Dream!John to try and wake him up, you can see her wearing the ring. When she throws him clear and then looks up at Prospit right before she dies, she's not wearing it.
 * Actually, she's still wearing it on her hand, it's just difficult to see at a glance what with all the flashing colors and how brief the shot is, but the ring is still on her hand after she throws Dream!John out of the way... that doesn't necessarily mean the ring was destroyed, though.
 * The ring was edited into that shot after multiple people on the forum noticed it, so apparently it's still on her hand as she gets flattened by the meteor.
 * Sort-of confirmed: Dream!John recovers the ring from Dream!Jade's body.

The WQ's ring somehow managed to save Dream Jade's existence.
I mean... it had to, right.
 * Existence, yes. Life, no. I mean, how else could you have a taxidermifiable corpse of someone killed by DROPPING A MOON ON HER?
 * ...Besides the Song of Time.
 * Jadesprite says hi.

Maplehoof is a robot.
Because see above.
 * If it were true, it could avoid the physical paradox by having every COMPONENT have a definitive beginning and end, and every piece would be replaced at some point along the timeline, Ship of Theseus-style.

The game is designed to screw you over... if you try to cheat.
While not explicitly mentioned as such, there are two instances, the Bad Future and the current Time Line, of the game becoming so messed up that it may well be Unwinnable. In both instances, it's due to the fact that somebody tried to cheat the game for an easy win. The lesson here? DON'T FUCKING CHEAT.
 * John uses a Jetpack to jump ahead into his 7th gate, and (presumably) dies soonafter. This means he can't get Jade to enter the game, and the game is presumed Unwinnable by Dave and Rose.
 * Jade, seeing a vision of a crying John, send him Game Breaker to help him in his time of need. When Jack Noir gets his hand on it, the end result is that the Reckoning is kicked off far earlier than it should have been, ultimately resulting in the crying scene the present was meant to comfort.
 * The irony is that, without the jetpack and Fear No Anvil, John would never have got those paradox clone babies launched before the kids' brought-forward Reckoning. Two wrongs make a right?
 * The jetpack might be a borderline case, where flying over encounters deprives you of experience you might need later, and the hammer's code was earned legitimately in an already-doomed future, so between that and the necessity of the paradox clones, the game might have been lenient enough to let that slide.

The Gods of the Furthest Ring are simply trying to help the kids.
And Rose is not simply insane, as people have been guessing.
 * Dave could hear them too (but chose not to because he thought they were kind of creepy, especially the ones that sing), so Rose is definitely not nutty in the sense that she's hallucinating them, and that also means they are not specifically targeting her either.
 * Not to mention their sole known-to-the-audience suggestion at least sounded like a really good idea...
 * Mind you, just because they aren't evil, doesn't mean prolonged contact with them and using the Thorns of Oglogoth isn't subtly doing things to Rose's mind. Blowing up Gate 1 wasn't their idea, after all.
 * They are evil, probably.

The ULTIMATE BUNNY holds each of the kid's ultimate weapons.
And as such, they will be able to defeat their denizens much earlier than they should be able to.
 * Though according to Andrew, the weapons are reduced in size and too small for the kids to effectively wield. The bunny, on the other hand...
 * Should be a simple enough matter for John to captcha the weapons and send the codes to the other kids... provided that real!John is heading for Skaia. They probably won't have enough grist to make them yet, though.
 * The Quills of Echidna look like they might be big enough for Rose to hold already. It might be a pretty good idea for John to get them to her as soon as possible, given the Sanity Slippage that the Thorns of Oglogoth might well be causing (would also give John and Rose a chance to properly meet up after the way they narrowly missed each other earlier...).
 * Devil's-advocated above, but straightforward proof that Rose is losing it?
 * Nope, they're powerful but John at least makes something even more powerful.

The Kids will join forces with the White King and give him the White Queen's ring to even the playing field with Jack.
It occurs to this troper that we never see what happens to the White King, only that his scepter is stolen. It's unlikely that Hegemonic Brute killed him (as PM had something to say about his interference), so it's possible that he's gone into hiding. We already know that the White Queen becomes an Exile, which rules out her further involvement.
 * It's now starting to look as though the White King becomes an exile as well.

John's Dad and Rose's Mom have arrived on Skaia to look after Dream!John.
Even with Cyberbunny for company, Dream!John's going to be pretty vulnerable and lonely on Skaia now that Prospit's moon has been destroyed. With Dream!Jade dead, he's probably too valuable an asset to leave unattended, and I can't think of another reason why Hass would drop Dad and Mom off on Skaia. So they're probably there to make sure he stays safe and sane. Well, the odd cake to the face aside...
 * They didn't seem to do much looking after before they.

Act 6 will begin with John finally getting his arse into gear.
Dreamself woken up? Check. Traumatic experience of seeing his best friend's dreamself die in a Heroic Sacrifice? Check. Best friend's "realself" in dire peril as well? Check. Okay, I understand that Epiphany Therapy is rather cliche and unrealistic, but it just feels to me like we're close to seeing the making of John as a hero (well, "close" once you take the troll arc into account). With Jade and Rose (and possibly Dave too) at their lowest ebbs, someone needs to stop the whole thing falling apart. Here's hoping John can do it.
 * Arguably confirmed, not for Act 6, but for Part 2 of Act 5.
 * Not especially confirmed.

Karkat and Gamzee's one-sided relationship may be a case of Fridge Brilliance.
In the Western Zodiac. Cancer is opposite (and therefore in conflict with) Capricorn. As Karkat has the former sign and Gamzee the latter, this may explain why their relationship is the way it is. If any of the following conflicts come up as well, this theory may yet hold:
 * apocalypseArisen (Aries) vs. gallowsCalibrator (Libra)
 * They were shown to be pretty good friends, and Aradia's death drove Terezi to try and murder Vriska. However after that, they've not interacted at all.
 * adiosToreador (Taurus) vs. arachnidsGrip (Scorpio) (may act as a counter to Dave and Bro, since aT has already been established as Dave's foil, and Scorpio is notorious for its sexual implications, just like Bro is for his porno puppets.)
 * twinArmageddons (Gemini) vs. centaursTesticle (Sagittarius)
 * arsenicCatnip (Leo) vs. caligulasAquarium (Aquarius)
 * A popular ship, although Nepeta denies it.
 * grimAuxiliatrix (Virgo) vs. cuttlefishCuller (Pisces)
 * Cuttlefish in a sense, and being the Only Sane Man of the teams.
 * grimAuxiliatrix (Virgo) vs. cuttlefishCuller (Pisces)
 * Cuttlefish in a sense, and being the Only Sane Man of the teams.

Prospit will win (or rather, has won) against Derse in the trolls' session of the game.
Karkat has told John that both the Black Queen and Jack Noir were exiled in the trolls' game, and that they killed the Black King, but nothing was said about the White Queen or the White King. Without a ruler, the armies of Derse would likely fall apart, giving Prospit, assuming they still have a ruler, a strong upper hand. The game might even end in favor of Prospit just because the trolls killed the Black King, since the battle on Skaia is based on chess and in chess a player loses if the King is put in checkmate, although that doesn't seem as likely, since the game continued for the kids' even after Jack killed the Black King. Then again, Jack seemed to become the new king after that. Aditionally, Nanna told John that "light is always destined to lose". Since the trolls are evil counterparts of the kids, the opposite may be true for their game, and dark is always destined to lose.
 * No, when Nanna said that light is always destined to lose, she really meant it! Karkat told John that there comes a time when black inevitably beats white, as well. It's how things are supposed to go down in every Sburb session. The White King's scepter is what gives the Derse rulers the power to send the Veil towards Skaia, so he must be taken out of the picture in order to initiate the Reckoning. He gets captured or killed, the Reckoning begins, and the players have to get their asses in gear and defeat the Black King and Queen before Skaia is destroyed. It seems highly unlikely that the White King and/or Queen survived the loss against Derse and the Reckoning and rallied for a late comeback victory in the trolls' session given Karkat's words. And even if that was the case it'd probably be another anomaly akin to the White King and Queen abdicating in the kids' session rather than the trolls' game of Sburb happening to follow rules opposite the kids'.

Sburb is actually TWO games.
The first is the one the Kids and the Trolls played, where you attempt to build up to Skaia. The other is a chess-themed game between Derse and Prospit, that the players are meant to alter, but not interact with directly. The goal of reaching Skaia is there so the players can repair the ruined world after Black has won, which the player's side has given ample experience in.
 * Not especially; the Trolls interacted heavily in the game and any player can go to the Battlefield and personally fight in the war.

The Sburb sessions really aren't as independent as the Trolls have claimed.
Obviously, since Jack has managed to screw them over somehow. But there's also the, that could only be created in a Sburb session... and Jade got a hold of it, apparently, some time ago. How did her penpal manage to make it, and transport it to her if every session was walled off from every other?
 * If her pen pal isn't a troll.
 * He isn't. But they are. The Troll and human sessions are seriously messed up.

Sburb isn't meant to be competitive, and the trolls put themselves in this mess.
tA mentioned modifying the code of the game, and this is the first mention we've had of two competing teams. tA made it so that the two sessions could interact, and in doing so exposed all the players to whatever space exists between sessions. This is the only reason that the kids' game, regardless of how screwed up it gets, was able to influence the trolls'.
 * The reason the Human's game influenced the Troll's is because they were tied together by the Trolls meddling with the Kid's timeline. Sollux didn't do anything of the sort.

During the LARP session, AG's eyepiece will explode.
It will turn her left eye and left arm into a blue bloody mess, and lead her to look like her appearance in the present. It will also be extremely cathartic to the readers.

The Trolls' species evolved from the Exiles from a previous game of Sburb played by kids from a past civilization on their world.
It's been millennia since the game so, though there might be the occasional pure black or white throwback, interbreeding has lead to most people on the planet being grey. Either one or more of the past players prototyped them with something that gave them their horns, or it could have been a quirk of evolution during the very long time that passed since then. With their intimate knowledge of the game they knew that one day it might devastate their planet once more, so they purposely developed their culture to give their people as much of an advantage as possible when that day came, although they've all long-since forgotten the point of it by now.

That's why, as mentioned in the WMG a few above, they're taught to "become architecturally adept while very young". It might also be why they don't have real family units (the less close attachments they have to other people the easier it will be for them to focus on the game instead of getting worked up about everybody back home who died; the lusus-system might have been put in place specifically so there would be a strong creature devoted to their well-being there for prototyping) and why most members of their species head off-world once they reach adulthood (so when the meteors start crashing most trolls will avoid destruction through the simple act of not even being there; of course this being purposeful depends on whether they were able to achieve space travel before forgetting what they were preparing themselves for, but if some of the Exiles worked for their game session's shuttle service before getting exiled they could have had the knowledge of how to build/fly them from the start).
 * Doesn't explain the blood.
 * Doc Scratch probably has more to do with most of that.

cuttlefishCuller is a mermaid.
The use of a trident and interacting with sealife without any form of breathing equipment whatsoever seems to point to this. Equius and Vriska's conversation hints at her being a sea dweller. Also, her sign is Pisces (the fish), which makes this all the more appropriate.
 * She has gills, but that's about it.

Skaia's true purpose is to somehow defeat Lord English.
Okay, with Doc Scratch more or less confirmed as the Felt's Cue Ball, this logically leaves Lord English as the Cue Stick. Pool theme FTW and all. But wait, isn't Pool a two-player game? Who would Lord English be playing against? Surely it must be something as vague and inscrutable as Lord English himself, something like... The Ultimate Riddle. Thus the true purpose of the game is to somehow answer the ultimate riddle, and discern how Lord English can be defeated.
 * Skaia's true purpose is to create more universes.

Skaia exists to summon Lord English
Think about it. It results in The End of the World As We Know It, which is the condition for his summoning. It creates the First Guardians, who appear to be loyal to him, and consider this part of facilitating the universe's ultimate purpose.
 * Skaia exists to create universes. Derse creates the guardians.

Equius is literally suffering from Testosterone Poisoning.
Or whatever the Troll equivalent is. His uncontrollable strength, mood swings, and er, hangups, are all the result of a dangerous hormone imbalance. Or a, uh, dangerous trollmone imbalance.

The real villain of the story is the paradox itself.
Everyone and everything is a pawn of the massive time paradox in which everything in Homestuck and Hivebent is entangled. Sburb and Sgrub, and thus the Skaias, no matter how powerful they may be, are merely tools. The only person with a chance of being exempt is Lord English, who may turn out to be the paradox's equal solely because he may turn out to be the personification of the paradox, as they are both amoral entities whose only purposes are to ensure and maintain their own existences, regardless of the cost.
 * It's Jack Noir.
 * He is the villain. It's him.

[

Jade's Dreambot was programmed in ~ATH.
Its termination statement is tied to Dream!Jade's life, and as we know (or will find out), its conclusion can be rather explosive.

AA had to give up all or some of her emotions in exchange for her power
Why else would she say she forgot what anger felt like?
 * She was DEAD.

Have we forgotten Jade's accidental Humongous Mecha code?
It may be expensive, it might even be a Red Herring, but having a giant robot could seriously even the odds in the final battle.
 * She also has the code to make Johnny 5, which is probably not helpful, but would make a nice schlock-movie present for John.
 * The "giant mecha" is just a toy.
 * A toy, huh? So, that's what she alchemises with the Con Air bunny to make Cyber-Bunny!
 * ...Fair enough! :D
 * She didn't have the grist for it. Also JOHNNY MOTHERFUCKING FIVE.

== Homestuck will end with the characters destroying the paradox, preventing the events of Homestuck from ever having happened, waking up in new lives and simultaeneously experiencing a profound philosophical revelation: == Everything they have ever done has been a complete waste of time.
 * Then J would never have been born.

Doc Scratch's job is to kill Snowman in the very end.
If Doc Scratch is manipulating everything in order to bring about Lord English, he must kill Snowman in order to end the universe, bringing about Lord English. This would make sense with the pool metaphor, as the cue ball must pocket the eight ball to end the game.
 * It's Slick's job.

Karkat's is the noblest blood of all...or not
The trolls' blood caste system spans the entire spectrum of colour. The lowest we've seen is Aradia's red-orange, and the highest is cC's maroon. This would mean that Karkat's mutant candy-red blood is exactly at the turning point of the colour wheel. He's either the absolute lowest or the absolute highest. Either way it will make Equius' head explode.
 * According to Andrew, Equius wouldn't care, and he'd just file Karkat under the "lowblood" heading because he's a racist asshole.

Karkat will at some point manipulate evolution on Earth.
Which is why vertebrates have mutant candy blood, why frogs exist on Earth, and why trolls look so much like humans we look so much like trolls.
 * Kanaya and Karkat had the most influence on our universe because they created B. Slick.

Jack will be defeated by one or both of the Egberts.
How better to beat the Ace of Spades, than with a pair of Jokers? This sort of implies that John will become vastly more competent in the field of pranking. Like, possibly to the point of executing convoluted Roulettes. I dunno, maybe it'll actually be a "Full House" joke, or something.
 * Probably not!

Related to the above, the prankster's gambit meter will be involved
Much the same as [[Problem Sleuth DMK's blood sugar/emotions meter, the only way to defeat Jack is by lowering his prankster's gambit.
 * Probably not.

Karkat's blood level will be interpreted differently by everyone.
Specificaly, the lowest 5 bloods (and Gamzee) will think of him as the highest, while the highest five (and Sollux) will think of him as the lowest. All of the lowers are either friends, or would not care, while the upper portion is mainly the blue team. Notice that this leaves Terezi out. She thinks his blood is cherry.
 * Nobody cares.

Lord English has already begun to feed
Specifically, he feeds by means of not-quite-stable time loops, which spiral in on 'simpler' situations. Given all of the insanity we've seen thus far, this might seem odd, but consider what would be possible with a cast of thousands, and how mind-bogglingly difficult it would be to follow. In any case, lives have been consumed, leaving behind traces and echoes, like the houses that we never see anyone in, and the publications that, going by the properties of the Captchalogue cards, could exist without authors. What we are witnessing could be the trials of the sixteen children best capable of staving off defeat. Or, the fourteen children best at that, and John and Karkat.
 * This is stupid, he feeds on universes.

The kids are not going to fight the Denizens. At least, not during the course of the story that we are watching
There are two reasons for this. One, time. There are supposed to be seven gates leading up to the Denizens, and presumably each gate should take roughly as long to reach as the others (barring the need to get the hang of the game like John did). John is the furthest along so far having reached his second gate, and he only got there so fast because Terezi supplied him a map. Future Dave spent four months reaching his fifth, though he did extra grinding on purpose. But since the kids have only 24 hours from the start of the Reckoning to win the game (or at least defeat the black reulers; we don't know that that ends the game), and since we've already used up five arcs out of a promised seven, there's no way in hell they have time to reach the point where they can defeat the Denizens.

Second reason is that they have no motivation. The Denizens are a cliche RPG plot, and the path to reach them is a standard videogame progression, and it's clearly the way the game's supposed to play out, but I don't think they care. The stakes on stopping Jack (and maybe beating the snot out of "fate") are so high that any of the kids who are aware of him (sadly only John and Jade right now) will surely give it their all. The stakes for killing the Denizens are not high enough for any of them to give a shit. John seemed unphased by the horror that is a ruined mail system and would've had to see the sky before to care how messed up it is now, and I doubt Rose cares about a bunch of fish being dead, especially since they're already dead and killing the Denizen won't solve the problem. Even if the Denizens were bad enough to spark their attention, in the face of the complete destruction of their own planet, the devastation of Skaia and the destruction of Prospit (a place where Jade has lived half her life and which she and John do care about), I doubt any of them will care one whit about this undisguised plot hook. Their mission is to beat Jack and maybe kick causality's ass to undo some of the damage he wrought, and for that they're on an impossible-seeming deadline. Maybe once they do that there'll be an epilogue where they defeat the Denizens for lack of anything more important to do, but right now, who cares?
 * As of right now, they may have motivation to defeat one denizen, but no others.
 * As of current canon, the Denizens are very important, but maybe not as enemies to fight...

John can control The Ultimate Bunny through his Bunnykind strife modus
Remember the strife mode he picked up from the very first imp he killed? It lets him use stuffed rabbits as weapons. So once he figures out how, he'll either pick up and wield The Ultimate Bunny, thus also giving him proxy access to all of the ultimate weapons it's equipped with, or he'll be able to command the Bunny in battle as a combat pet.
 * Either that or the bunny can act independently, as seen here.
 * The bunny acts independently.

The explanation of Troll reproduction vastly simplified the mechanics of inheritance
Okay, so, this makes me feel like Psycho Mantis in The Last Days of Foxhound, even moreso than I did in that pointless rant aways above. (Don't read it, it's pointless.) Anyway, my current guess as to how to get that explanation to satisfy me... Most multicellular life on Alternia is a colonial organism composed of multiple symbiotic species' gametophyte stages. (Here's the silly bit): when the cells undergo reproductive mitosis, a combination of physical and psychic connection means that each gametophyte has some sort of... sympathetic resonance with the mind of its parent colony. The stronger the feelings between each parent in a pair, the more... something... the resulting sporophyte of each species. Point is, that increases reproductive fitness in the context of the Matriorb. Anyway, after that silliness is done, and the sporophytes of each species compete in the matriorb, the most fit undergo meiosis, and the resulting gametophyte cells form the appropriate colonies. (Given the signaling that pretty much all multicellular life performs with its symbiotic bacteria, it's not too surprising if something like that could actually work.) If true, this has the side-effect of giving Alternian life something very close to Lego Genetics.
 * Let's just say no. Mother Grubs are a symbiotic species with the Trolls and it's hard to draw the line between them, but trolls used to reproduce similarly to humans.

The arc number has something to do with playing cards
How many cards are in a deck? 52... divided into 4 suits, with 13 cards each. And the playing card theme has been showing up often...
 * Happy coincidence. Remember Homestuck originally started on 4/10

When Spades Slick opened the vault, he was sent into the past, where he was crucial to rebuilding civilization
When Die switched to a timeline where Spades was dead, the world was a wasteland. This implies that Spades did something to prevent his present from being a wasteland... and that whatever it was, he hadn't done it yet. This theory would explain what that "something" was.
 * A possible extension of this theory is that the "Snowman" who cuts off his arm is actually Past!Banished Quasiroyal, before she became Snowman... who attacked Spades because she thought he was the Jack Noir who betrayed her (And that might actually be the case, but that's not what this WMG is about).
 * I'm pretty sure it's outright confirmed that they're the same Jack Noir.
 * Confirmed actually.
 * Jossed Actually!!!!

Vriska and Tavros were switched at birth...or something
Tavros, the second-lowest troll on the blood hierarchy, has no psychic powers, unlike Aradia and Sollux. The only other troll seen to have mind powers is Vriska, who's several steps up in the hierarchy. It's said here that the lesser bloods are the ones that are the ones that have psychic powers. This might have something to do with their...unique relationship.
 * Are you forgetting Tavros's psychic powers of cOMMUNION,?
 * And Terezi's second sight? It's birth-inherent, she just had to lose her first sight to gain access to it. Though it could be argued that all the trolls have this power, since she accesses it through her awakened dream self.
 * It says those of lower blood are more susceptible to psychic powers; they're more affected by them. It says nothing about them being the only ones to have such powers. I figured this is why they'd die first (they'd hear the lusus' voice well before anyone else would).
 * Official word is that lower bloods are, in fact, more likely to have psychic powers than higher bloods-- Vriska is just a rare exception, and in fact, she would also be among the first to die in the event that Gl'bgolyb raised her voice.

Sollux is dead, dead, dead, dead, dead forever, DEADDEADDEAD!!!! And not coming back.
The whole rest of the story is his dying dream.
 * THIS IS STUPID
 * Incredibly.

Sollux will have his kernelsprite prototyped with himself.
In the same vein as Aradia, but pre-medium entry. It says that only one sprite will be dual-prototyped, but that could just be pre-medium. They have to learn that additional pre-medium prototypings empower foes more somehow.
 * Nope.

The "curse" that Sollux's code brings in SBurb itself.
What does Karkat, all his friends, and everyone they meet have in common? They're all involved in a game of SBurb. Since SBurb destroys your planet, it could probably count as a curse! Also, it's called a Mobius Double Reacharound Virus, which the troll's SGrub game performs. This doesn't explain the lusus death, but that's in another paragraph, so it might not be actually related to Sollux's curse.
 * The curse was a formality.

Tavros strongly hates Eridian
I've seen enough love triangles in my time, I wanna see a genuine hate triangle.
 * But Tavros is incapable of hate!
 * Tavros and Eridan never speak together in canon.

There are agents of Prospit with the initials PS, AD, and PI
We haven't seen them yet because they managed to get stuck in their own offices.
 * This is stupid.

Jade's being the Witch of Space will give her the ability to bring forth the power of imagination.
She'd use it to turn herself into a blue-haired Magical Girl and she'd be assisted by many others. In the flash that came with the Squiddles album, we constantly saw a blue haired Magical Girl in the static and every so often we'd catch a glimpse of some other girls with different hair colors such as green, yellow, violet, and red/pink. Blue haired girl also didn't seem very happy at the end.
 * Nope.

The Kids' Denizens are Magical Girls.
In order of appearance in the animation: Blue, violet, green and yellow side by side, and then red/pink. Jade gets the blue one, Rose gets violet, John has to fight the green and yellow because he changed his chumhandle from GT -> EB, and Dave gets the red/pink one. It would also be incredibly silly.
 * Nope.

$
The burden of trollish reproduction is outsourced on the mother grub creature. None of the trolls are going to be incubating tiny pink embryos inside their torsos. A one-from-column-A-and-column-B gender pairing isn't necessary for reproduction.

In fact, because of the cast of peripubescent trolls and because of the artstyle, there's no evidence trolls have primary or secondary sexual characteristics as humans would recognise them. In the Alternian language, 'female' might be shorthand for 'prefers the relative comfort and freedom of wearing a skirt.'
 * But, Vriska wears pants...
 * The fact that the Trolls don't even have a concept of 'homosexuality' makes sense with this.
 * One explanation for this is because, if I correctly recall the ways in which troll romance is weird, the pairings that contribute their genetic material do so to a large amount of incestuous slurry. (And no, this theory is not solely an excuse to use that phrase.) Theoretically, it wouldn't matter what the sex of trolls involved when the filial pails get passed around, especially because Andrew hasn't really extrapolated on that in terms of differences from human concepts of "male" or "female". (Probably because he agrees that the job of coming up with genitalia for your alien race should be left to the musclebeast artists.)
 * And oh, how it has been.
 * Word of God is that Trolls have vestigial genders. They are basically a post gender society. Homosexuality does exist, but it's basically the equivalent of a fetish.

Mutie wasn't an imperfect clone of Jasper, Jasper was an imperfect clone of Mutie.
And a perfect clone of Rose's Mom's childhood kitty, Mutie himself.

Nobody actually enters the medium.
Entering doesn't move anyone, but duplicates. The copies don't know this because the originals promptly die by meteor. This explains why Jade's island is still there in the future.
 * Except that it isn't. You see that big chasm by the frog temple? That was her island. The frog temple was just off the coast of it. In [S] Jade: Enter, you can even see that section of the island vanish.

The trolls are several inches/feet/yards/miles taller/shorter than the kids.
It's not like we've seen them side by side. The trolls have only been enxt to things that presumably would be the same size as them.
 * Karkat is the same height as Jack. Jack is about half the size of Dad. John is also about half the size of Dad. Therefore, they are pretty much the same. There have been a few references to Karkat being short, so they probably are a bit taller on average than the kids, but not by much.
 * But that implies the size of Sburb remains constant, and doesn't change to suit the size of the players.
 * Also, Crosbytop.

Atomyk Ebonpyre is cursed.
Think about it. Every time it plays, something awesome is happening...but then something really depressing happens or is revealed immediately afterwards. This happens at [S] Accelerate and [S] Descend. The song's out to get the kids.
 * One could make some sort of admonishment about two data points being insufficient to diagnose that sort of pattern... but then, this IS the WMG page...
 * And we'll likely never hear it again.

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