Rule 34/Quotes

"You would've known that Flash had just vibrated out of his costume and is vibrating SO FAST that he can't be seen; Grodd, being a simple gorilla, has no concept of a naked Flash vibrating invisibly next to him. Only a human could conceive of a naked, vibrating, invisible Flash. Because we are Nature's Greatest Mistake."

- MisterKitty

""When correctly viewed everything is lewd I could tell you things about Peter Pan And the Wizard of Oz; there's a Dirty Old Man!""

- Tom Lehrer, "Smut"

""She was pure like snowflakes no one could ever stain, The memory of my angel could never cause me pain. Years go by, I'm lookin' through a girly magazine, and there's my homeroom angel on the pages in between! My blood runs cold; my memory has just been sold, My angel is the centerfold. (Angel is the centerfold.)""

- The J. Geils Band, "Centerfold"

"If you're not familiar with a "mud volcano" we're going to suggest you not Google it as it almost certainly doubles as the name for a certain kind of fetish video."

- Cracked

"A: But... why? My god, why would you do a thing like that? B: Just fap. Fap your childhood to pieces."

- 4chan

"Sexual arousal may occur from anything under the sun, including the sun."

- The DSM

"For the record: I know that Rule 34 applies to my own show, and no, I haven't read any of the fan fiction. I have seen things I wish to unsee."

- Adam Savage's twitter.

"The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn! Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn!"

- Avenue Q

"Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why don’t you take off your sweater? Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbes.

Rachel: Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it?

Joey: Yeah. Sure. (Rachel looks inside the neck of his sweater)

Rachel: Huh. Wow, I wouldn’t think Hobbes would like that so much."

- Friends, "The One Where Joey Tells Rachel"

"Sometimes I wonder why I'm apprehensive to have sex EVER and then I remember this thread. I mean, JESUS. People could settle for a penis and a vagina or a penis and a penis or a vagina and a vagina but NO THEY HAVE TO GO AND WANT IT COMPLICATED AND CREEPY AND AHDFBHIFBIBEBHBHBHRBHBHIR."

- Charlatan

""Oh my god! They got a new Sonic the Hedgehog character! I must. Draw. Porn of it!"

- Sonic Shorts

"Quantum Fetish Mechanics: the act of thinking up a new kind of fetish causes that fetish to exist. Someone probably even has a website dedicated to it. "

- Questionable Content

"Pintsize: Rule 34 is the ultimate expression of human creativity! Creating porn of ANYTHING THE HUMAN MIND CAN CONCEIVE is an endeavor on par with colonizing the stars or tapping into the secrets of the universe! Winslow: I think you just like looking at pooping catgirls."

- Questionable Content

""If you need more information about sex, just Google... anything, really.""

- Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

"Well, I think I've seen enough horrifying material here to replace my nightmares of extra-terrestrial poon, with nightmares of being violated by a human Beavis with a plaster nose. [gives thumbs up and smiles] Thanks, Rule 34-sploitation!"

- The Cinema Snob

""You wouldn't believe how many fetishes there are that involve me and Sam.""

- Max in Sam and Max: The Penal Zone

"I [...] found [a drawing] of a lactating hermaphroditic Quistis tit-fucking herself and blowing her own three-foot cock while choking it with her whip, sticking the handle in her pussy and jamming a vibrator in her own asshole."

- Spoony

""Go into google, do a search of the word 'Balloon' and google will bring you a list of all the pages on the internet which contain the word balloon. Be warned you will find some bizarre pornography. Then do a google search on the word 'Animal' and google will bring you a list of all the pages on the internet containing the word animal. Be warned you will find some bizarre pornography. Then do a google search on 'Balloon Animal' and google will bring you a list of all the pages on the internet which contain both the words balloon and animal. Be warned you will find some very bizarre pornography.""

- Dave Gorman, Googlewhack

""I like to watch robots pee". I bet you there's a website for that. [pause] There is now!"

- Craig Ferguson

""Many of you have probably been blissfully unaware of this, but there is a shocking amount of erotic Futurama fan-fiction on the Internet. You don't even want to know the things people have imagined doing with The Hypnotoad.""

- Matt Tobey, Countdown to Futurama

""I went on the internet this week, and I found this. It is just pure pornography, look at, look at; (beat) it is a convertible version of the Alfa Romeo XC that I was driving just a few minutes ago. It is gorgeous though isn't it, don't you think that's gorgeous?""

- Jeremy Clarkson Top Gear presenter in a none squick part of this video

""It's the internet, Ma-Ti. There's porn for everything!""

- The Nostalgia Critic tells it like it is

""Ah, the days before Internet porn, when we learned that every conceivable fetish - namely, everything - had a viable market for it!""

- Linkara, on the porn distributor of Action Comics #593 claiming "there ain't much market for solo acts"

""I found this very difficult to masturbate to."'"

- YouTube meme posted on videos that clearly aren't meant to be porn, or even close to it

""The pornos happen fast, I will give them that. Thank GOD I aged them up to the ripe year of 15. Conscience totally fucking ameliorated.""

- Andrew Hussie, a day after introducing some new characters to Homestuck

""i am so proud to draw porn of this man’s comic.""

- Luka Delaney, via Tumblr