Laci Green



Laci Green is a self-styled "sexual futurist" who has been posting vlogs on YouTube since joining the site in 2007.

Similar to fellow vlogger The Amazing Atheist, her early videos (under the YouTube channel "gogreen18") were geared toward anti-theism and religious politics. In 2008, Laci reinvented herself through a weekly series of vlogs (now titled "Sex +"), in which her discourse has shifted toward relationship advice and social commentary.

Currently, Laci is juggling three Youtube usernames, with her main channel hosting over 100,000 subscribers. She also manages a Sex + blog, filled with random musings as well as tasteful 'reviews' of various sex toys and prophylactics (NSFW, obviously), which can be found here.

""Having big boobs, people feel like it's really important to tell you that, y'know, when you get older they won't be so awesome; they're gonna be sagging to the ground. Basically, like, 'You better be feeling like shit about those boobs, Laci Green.' And at sixteen I was like, "Okay, mission accomplished, I officially feel like shit about myself now, are you happy?''" But today at twenty-two, I'm back to say 'Mission Unaccomplished, Bitch.'""
 * Accentuate the Negative: Despite her wide mix of intentionally hot-button topics, her biggest Base Breaker is (ironically) the video where she tore into Twilight.
 * Asexuality: The topic of two of her videos here on her blog.
 * Berserk Button: People who confuse vaginas with vulvas.
 * Even though she's an atheist, Straw Atheists that gang up on theists and act as if they're superior just because they are atheists can definitely bring out her rage. See here.
 * Big Breasts, Big Deal: A mix of Types 3 and 4 — Laci would rather be known for something other than her bustline, but sees no reason to be ashamed of it either. She'd appreciate you refraining from calling her "Tits McGee", though.
 * Most detractors' comments tend to focus around the immensity of her cleavage.
 * Sadly, this is the case offline as well as on.

""SEVERAL HUNDRED EXTRA HOURS?? Do you know how much sex--tional work that translates into?""
 * Bigger Is Better in Bed: Repeatedly debunked.
 * Blue Eyes
 * Brainy Brunette
 * Can't Believe I Said That: Contrasting the fatphobia of modern society with the Rubenesque paintings of the Baroque period, she calls for a return to "traditional values." ...wait.
 * Cluster F-Bomb: Telling a bunch of guys why certain pick up lines don't work.
 * Complaining About Shows You Don't Watch: Invoked by her video about reality TV she stated she doesn't own a television, though she'd seen The Hills among other programmes when she visited her parents.
 * Disturbing Statistic: Comparing the working hours of most industrial countries with those of Americans.

""Sounds like a good way to keep her occupied! As if I don't have anything better to do! I'm busy helping people out on the internet, motherfucker!""
 * After being told via Twitter that she's not eligible for No Shave November. She came back at them by saying most women spend a year of their life shaving.

""I receive a lot of email in general about boobs. Makes sense.""
 * Free-Love Future: Her mission statement, more or less.
 * Genki Girl
 * Hurricane of Euphemisms: It's her vagina. Not her "hoo-ha", her "flower", her "special magic place"...
 * I Have Boobs - You Must Obey!: The most frequent charge leveled against her.
 * Lovable Sex Maniac: Played for laughs.
 * "C'mon. Do I look like a pervert who wants to see people naked to you? [Beat] Actually, don't answer that question."
 * If You Know What I Mean: "...and when the final exam rolls around, you'll be setting the curve. See what I did there? Setting the curve? "
 * Male Gaze: Over 130 videos, and the one with the most hits is about boobs.

""...what?"
 * Rebellious Spirit: Her family is Mormon.
 * Religion Is Wrong
 * Safe, Sane, and Consensual: This seems to be her mantra. Buffered by her visit to a bondage club and inviting others to keep an open mind about it.
 * San Francisco: A native, doubtlessly coloring her views on gender politics.
 * Shaped Like Itself: (strums ukulele) Let's start at the very beginning / a very good place to start... ♪
 * Soapbox Sadie
 * Stalker with a Crush: "Jeremy" from her Webcam Breakup video.
 * Stop Being Stereotypical: Her views on the condenscending, scornful types of atheists who behave like jerkasses and like they're right simply by being jerks.
 * Sue Donym: In a webchat, she revealed that she is called Laci but her surname is not Green.
 * The Talk: As a change of pace, her "Sex +" series is clearly geared toward a younger audience of around 18-25 years old. Few corners of internet boast a frank discussion of sex by such a palatable (i.e. non-skeezy) host.
 * There Are No Girls on the Internet: Parodied in the aptly titled "TITS OR GTFO" video.
 * What Were They Selling Again?: Listing a spiel of breast-related insecurities, all taken from a hair product.
 * A Worldwide Punomenon: Clit-ical Thinking!
 * Xenofiction: One of her videos combines this with Speculative Documentary.
 * Your Mom: Peace be with everyone! ♪ 'Cept your mom, wo-hah.