The President's Daughter/Quotes

"They are worried about me getting shot - I'm worried about me getting shot - but that is nothing compared to how terrified we are of you. You scare the hell out of the Secret Service, Zoey, and you scare the hell out of me, too. My getting killed would be bad enough, but that is not the nightmare scenario. The nightmare scenario, sweetheart, is you getting kidnapped. You go out to a bar or a party in some club and you get up to go to the restroom. Somebody comes up from behind, puts their hand across your mouth and whisks you out the back door. You're so petrified you don't even notice the bodies of two Secret Service agents lying on the ground with bullet holes in their heads. Then you're whisked away in a car. It's a big party with lots of noise and lots of people coming and going and it's a half hour before someone says "hey, where's Zoey?" Another fifteen minutes before the first phone call. It's another hour and a half before anyone even thinks to shut down all the airports. Now we're off to the races! You're tied to a chair in a cargo shack somewhere in the middle of Uganda and I am told that I have seventy-two hours to get Israel to free four hundred and sixty terrorist prisoners. So I'm on the phone, pleading with Benyamin and he's saying "I'm sorry Mr President, but Israel simply does not negotiate with terrorists, period! It's the only way we can survive." So now we got a new problem, because this country no longer has a commander-in-chief but has a father who's out of his mind because his little girl is in a shack somewhere in Uganda with a gun to her head! DO YOU GET IT?"

- President Bartlett, The West Wing

"Girl: My name is Layla MacGuffin. I have the power to advance slow-moving plotlines! Wolverine: Oh? How can you do that? Layla: -ZAP- Cage: OH MY GOD! Magneto used the Scarlet Witch's powers to make a world where mutants are in control!"

- Matt Gardner's parody of House of M

""So what am I, a masterwork item?""

- Julia Greenhilt, The Order of the Stick

""The president's daughter's been kidnapped! It's up to us!""

- mc chris, on Ashley Graham of Resident Evil 4