There Are No Girls on the Internet/Quotes

"Black Hat: Hi. I'm here about the girl who visited your IRC channel last night looking for Java help. Nerd: What did you do to my door?

Black Hat: When someone with a feminine username joins your community and you say "OMG a woman on the Internet" and 'jokingly' ask for naked pics, you are being an asshole. You are not being ironic. You are not cracking everybody up. You are the number one reason women are so rare on the Internet. At least, the parts of it you frequent. As someone who likes nerdy girls, I do not appreciate this. I'm here to ban you from the Internet. The gal behind me with the EMP cannon is Joanna -- she'll be assigned to you for the next year. Try to go online and she'll melt your PC.

Nerd: Dude, she's hot. Is she single?

Black Hat: Joanna, fire."

- Xkcd #322: Pix Plz