Chibi Usa's Seventh Birthday

Trigger warning ahoy.

Written by Robert Tsunai, Chibi Usa's Seventh Birthday is a Sailor Moon fanfiction that features Chibiusa on her seventh birthday. It starts normally enough: singing, cake, the works. But then, Chibiusa notices that there are no presents. It turns out that every one of the senshi and Tuxedo Mask will give her a special present.

Sex.

Chibiusa is then tied to a bed and is given her present in rather painful and implausible ways, but she likes it anyway.

Read it here but be warned, it isn't work-safe and you may want to keep the Brain Bleach handy. A heavily edited version of it was sporked here. A non-edited MST exists here.


 * Artistic License Logic:
 * Ami. Chibiusa's vagina would most likely explode if they stuck something else in it, so what does Ami, the aspiring doctor do? Ram a banana up Chibiusa's backside.
 * And that's after the aforementioned impossible insertions. Bit late for that, no?
 * Chibiusa as well. Ami flat out tells her what she's going to do, and Chibiusa turns around, expecting to be spanked.
 * Artistic License Sex Ed/Artistic License: Biology: A seven year old should not become a raving pain slut in that short a time. And even if she already was, there is no way she could enjoy ... or survive it, for that matter--nobody should lose that much blood without dying.
 * Author Appeal: Robert Tsunai is a kiddy hentai, and seems to be obsessed with pain.
 * Author Vocabulary Calendar: If you had a dollar for every time the words "pussy", "moaned" or "pain" showed up, you'd have a cool 58 bucks.
 * Beyond the Impossible / O-Ring Orifice:
 * Big No: Chibiusa lets one out when she is being tortured by Rei.
 * Buxom Is Better: "Chibiusa, do you like my tits?"
 * Corrupt the Cutie: The end result of all this.
 * Fix Fic: One prolific author took it upon herself to write a family-friendly (to an extent, there is still sex in the fic but it's not till later and is Chibiusa-free) and 100% less squicky version. Instead of the Senshi gangbanging the poor kid they It can be found here.
 * Gorn: Unsurprisingly, there is quite a bit of bleeding.
 * Gratuitous Japanese: The author's notes feature a little bit of this (though it is at least somewhat correct in its usage, surprisingly).
 * Gratuitous Rape: Pretty much the point of this fic.
 * IKEA Erotica: Tsunai describes what gets stuck where rather robotically.
 * The Immodest Orgasm
 * Lemon
 * Lolicon
 * Parental Incest
 * Parody Retcon: At the very end of the fic, the author's notes claim that this is "just a satire".
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: Tsunai spells many words wrong, capitalizing random letters, and seems to have a malfunctioning space bar.
 * Rule 34: One of the many ways Rule 34 can go wrong.
 * Troll Fic
 * Rule 34: One of the many ways Rule 34 can go wrong.
 * Troll Fic