Sidekick Girl

"Who hasn't wanted to be a superhero? Everyone's fantasized about donning a costume and using their powers to uphold justice (or make mischief). In Metro City, superheroing isn't a daydream, it's a career path. The hard part isn't acquiring powers, it's getting through all of the red tape in the superhero industry. And it all looks so easy in the movies..."

Sidekick Girl is a web comic by Lore Cascos and Erica Wagner. The main character is Valerie Upton, a fledgling professional sidekick, assigned to the heroine Illumina. The comic deals mainly with Val and her fellow sidekicks as they fight together and commiserate about their assigned heroes together.

Read it here.


 * Ambiguous Gender: Chris
 * As it turns out, this is part of his power: He causes confusion in others.
 * Badass Preacher: Not only is Mark pretty well built for a priest, but he also takes out a goon offscreen.
 * Bastard Understudy: Isauro/Coldfire, technically.
 * Batter Up: Val's weapon of choice, "Mr. Bat".
 * BFG: Val's other weapon of choice. Doesn't have a name, doesn't need one.
 * Blessed with Suck: Val is The Ageless; mercifully, she can heal from any injury at a normal rate.
 * Dating Catwoman: Val's budding relationship with villain sidekick, Isauro.
 * Dropped a Bridget On Him: How Jasper found out Chris's real gender.
 * Dumb Blonde: Illumina. Her boyfriend, Maelstrom, is supposedly even dumber.
 * For Science!: The Coroner's MO. He's dissecting anyone with powers to see how they work.
 * Freaky Friday Flip: Ilumina and Sidekick Girl end up with one of these. Sidekick Girl turns out to be able to accomplish more with Ilumina's powers than Ilumina ever did with maybe a week of practice.
 * Genius Bruiser: Val. Skipped on a full-ride scholarship to MIT to go to superhero school, and "Bruiser" is pretty much her job. Especially, when compared to Illumina.
 * Groin Attack: Isauro deals one to a goon for no particular reason, lampshaded by Mark.
 * Heroic Build: Not just a cliché, but one deciding factor of whether a person is a hero or a sidekick is whether or not she looks good in spandex and fills a D-cup bra (for women), or are tall, thin, and well-built (for men). Skill, power and/or intellectual superiority is not a determining trait, though an interesting origin story helps.
 * Hit Me Dammit: Shield asks that Val hit him hard so that his powers kick in and make him smarter so he can.
 * Hypercompetent Sidekick: Val
 * I Did What I Had to Do: Poison, verbatim, after
 * I Call It "Vera": Mr Bat, and its successor, Mr Bat II.
 * Laser-Guided Karma: What happens to Dr. Wright. The surgeons have to amputate his right arm. This causes him to snap and he is now in an insane asylum.
 * Minion with an F In Evil: Isauro is a pretty nice guy who.
 * Never Live It Down: Invoked in-universe. Illumina has a rep for getting her sidekicks killed. Only one — Val's predecessor — actually died.
 * And that death was due to a voluntary Heroic Sacrifice on Marina's part, not anything Illumina did.
 * Nigh Invulnerability: Shield's powers. He can take any hit and not only avoid damage but also use that energy to make himself stronger, faster, tougher and smarter. He still doesn't know how that last one happens.
 * Not Growing Up Sucks: Forever Boy, another of Illumina's former sidekicks. The strain of being a 40-something (with an active sexual appetite) stuck in the body of a 12-year old eventually drove him insane.
 * The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: Shield just plays the Nintendo DS while Sword does all the work. This is because Sword just got a power upgrade and is doing all the work himself.
 * Punch Clock Hero/Punch Clock Villain: Most of the main cast. Granted, the heroes and sidekicks are in it for more than just the paycheck.
 * Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Poison carving his way through the criminal underworld, searching for The Coroner, who murdered his sister.
 * Sidekick Glass Ceiling: If you don't look the superhero part, you're a sidekick. You can sometimes compensate for it with an interesting origin story, but that's it.
 * Apparently, sidekicks can go through a process to become full heroes if their mentors vouch for them.
 * One minor character signed up as sidekick to an aging hero with the understanding that the hero would sponsor the sidekick to become a hero when he retired (And the expectation that that Thunder would retire in 5 years or so). Twenty years later, Thunder is still on active duty, meaning that Lightning Lad is stuck working for him as a sidekick (Thunder won't even let him choose a more mature alias).
 * Selective Obliviousness: Illumina and Maelstrom are lovers in their civilian IDs. Neither knows the other's superhero ID - despite Val dropping hint after hint to them (and outright telling Illumina). Val eventually gets through.
 * Shower of Love: With optional Godiva Hair.
 * Super-Hero Origin: One of two deciding factors for whether you're a superhero or a sidekick. Val is a sidekick because she looks like a fighter instead of a porn star and her origin story amounts to "I was hit by a car as a child and realized I could survive anything and eventually heal from it", despite being competent, being a great fighter and having a power that's incredibly useful despite its Blessed with Suck elements.
 * Super-Hero School: Essentially college. (Val went to the equivalent of a community college, as she was paying her own way.)
 * Super Zeroes: Brains aren't required to look good in spandex. In fact, Haze's hero, Impact, is the only one we've heard about who's even competent.
 * However, Illumina's first sidekick, Sparkle, was a girl who met the rather shallow requirements for being a hero but did so badly in Super-Hero School that she was demoted to sidekick. Given some of the people who made hero, that's quite an accomplishment.
 * Taking the Bullet: The fate of Illumina's late sidekick Marina.
 * Tomboy and Girly Girl: Val and Illumina, for a certain interpretation of "girly".
 * Too Dumb to Live: Clockwork gets killed because he stared down the barrel of his malfunctioning ray gun.
 * Utopia Justifies the Means: Dr. Wright's plan to create the perfect world by eliminating left-handedness.
 * The stupidity gets better. He himself is left handed.
 * Weird Trade Union: The Superhero Agency and its unnamed Evil Counterpart.
 * What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?/Heart Is an Awesome Power: Illumina's only powers are hovering and creating light -- not even lasers or anything, just regular light. However -- as Val demonstrates when they switch bodies -- in the hands of someone competent, this allows her to fall from any height safely and act as a living flashbang grenade.