Suburgatory/Funny

"Dallas: This is how you leave a man, Yakult!"
 * Dallas deciding to divorce Steven in 'Sex and the Suburbs,' after years of putting up with him cheating on her and leaving her alone for months on end.

"Dalia: You know what’s going to be painful? When my mother remarries your father and I’m your new sister and Dad likes me best. And then we send you away to an all-girls boarding school where you find true love. And on visiting day I come up and steal your new girlfriend.
 * Tessa's dance at her Sweet Sixteen.
 * Dalia's This Is Unforgivable speech to Tessa in "Fire with Fire":

(takes a long sip from her cup)

The following spring we marry in a civil ceremony which you are forced to cater. And everyone hates your catering. And you get a bad review on Yelp, which pretty much sinks your organic lesbian catering venture.

(takes a long sip from her cup)"