CSI: Miami



In a World of nasty crimes, only one man can ensure that the women of Miami continue to be able to wear bikinis and sunbathe without corpses washing ashore. That man... wears sunglasses.



CSI Spin-Off, set in Miami. Horatio Caine (played by David Caruso) takes the role of the guy spouting the Quip to Black, which he often does after putting his sunglasses on - wonderfully parodied by Weebl and Bob here and here by, of all people Phineas and Ferb. Horatio differs from Grissom by being a complete and utterly unrepentant dick, unless you're under 15 and/or a woman and/or have just survived a horrible crime -- in which case, he's your best and most compassionate friend (and your best line of defense if the bad guy comes back to get you).

The show uses its Miami setting to tell different stories to its Vegas counterpart; due to its coastal setting, the show features more water-based mysteries (e.g., stories involving dead people on boats and people fleeing Cuba), as well as dropping the 'pure science' angle of its parent series for a more direct 'police procedural' concept (meaning that Horatio Caine is primarily a police officer, rather than a scientist). One of its oddities is Alexx, The Coroner, who liked to say, "Oh, poor baby" or words to that effect over the corpse of the week (it's established early in the series that she does it to give the deceased a sense of 'reassurance'). Other characters include Calleigh Duquesne, known as the "bullet girl"; Ryan Wolfe (always referred to by Horatio as "Mr. Wolfe"); and Eric Delko, whose intensely drippy sister was briefly married to Mr. Caine before getting introduced to the business end of a firearm.

Probably what would result if the writers of Starsky and Hutch were told 'Stop that! This is serious, goddammit!'.

The actors have mentioned that they believe the show to be a comic-book world that happens to be filmed in live-action, which... explains an awful lot, actually.

Strictly speaking this is an ensemble show, like the other CSIs, but one character dominates the show.

The series ended its run in 2012 after 10 seasons.

"Sniper Suspect: Don't you want to know why? Horatio: You just killed four innocent people, you're evil, you enjoy death, I hope you enjoy your own."
 * Actor Allusion: When Aldis Hodge guest-starred all the poker players got Leverage-style titles (he was "Rap Mogul"; others were "Movie Star" and "Housewife").
 * Alpha Bitch: A mean girl gets stoned to death by her victims. Unfortunately she didn't know when to shut up.
 * A pair of sorority sisters make a young woman's life hell even after she leaves college . Hilariously they made life for each other hell too
 * Amoral Attorney: Vogel (Malcolm McDowell), who is not only very good at helping his clients but also
 * And Starring: Adam Rodriguez gets this in Season 9 after returning to the full time cast.
 * Artistic License - Bacteriology:
 * Artistic License Geography: I didn't know there were mountains in Miami! I guess I just wasn't observant stepping out of my house.
 * Are there even any mountains in Florida at all?
 * There are four -- Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain and Mount Everest.
 * Don't forget Mount Trashmore, Florida's biggest landfill!
 * Asshole Victim: Regularly.
 * Atonement Detective: Caine.
 * Batman Gambit:
 * Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Marisol Delko - the healthiest looking dying woman on TV. She's had six months of chemotherapy for a tumor that, according to her brother, is bad enough that she apparently only has months to live, and yet, no makeup or clothing effects were used to hide the fact that her actress is perfectly healthy.
 * Berserk Button: Abusing women may earn you some abuse from Horatio.
 * "May"? In one episode, where a roller-derby player is found inside a bathroom, dead from internal bleeding due to a broken rib from a back-attack severing a number of blood vessels, her ex-boyfriend comes up as a suspect due to his history of Domestic Abuse towards her. . The ex, in a one-on-one talk with Horatio, shows no remorse for his abusive history. Horatio promptly locks the office door and closes the window shutters. Cut to "Executive Producer" credits while the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown commences.
 * Child abusers might be
 * Big Yes: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
 * Birth-Death Juxtaposition: A pregnant woman who's beaten and left for dead gives birth on the day Horatio planned to visit Marisol's grave, which happens to be her birthday.
 * Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: Calleigh, Sam, and Boa Vista (auburn).
 * Across the series: D.B. is the "blonde", Mac is brunette, and Horatio is the redhead.
 * Bolivian Army Cliffhanger: Season 8's.
 * Book'em, Danno: Horatio delivers a notable one with shades of Shut UP, Hannibal early in the first season.
 * Book'em, Danno: Horatio delivers a notable one with shades of Shut UP, Hannibal early in the first season.

"Horatio Caine: Only I...*puts on shades* make it cool. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
 * Butt Monkey & Chew Toy: Eric Delko. The universe hates him. His sister got shot to get at Horatio, and died. He got shot in the head (again someone trying to get to Horatio. Feeling a pattern yet?) but survives, albeit with several side effects. He's been in trouble with internal affairs over his sister's use of medicinal marijuana, had a girlfriend who was the jealous clingy type who wanted to snipe his sister (she got beaten to it by another sniper). He goes to a nightclub, the place burns down while he's there - and no, he doesn't manage to save everyone. Every lawyer in Miami tries to have him seen as incompetent after his bullet to the head incident. Said bullet made him forget his sister's death, meaning he had to grieve all over again. His badge was once stolen and used to commit a murder. If crap is going to happen to a member of the team, there is a 80% chance it happens to Eric.
 * Even when it's not happening to Eric, odds are he'll be the person most affected after whoever's unlucky this episode. Don't forget that while Speed's fate was worse for Speed himself, Eric was his best friend. And when Wolfe got a nail shot in his eye, he was only working that day because Eric had shown up to work late (making Eric feel responsible for Wolfe getting an eyeful of nail).
 * Essentially, if you're a male member of Horatio's team, there's a 100% chance you'll get shot by something (either bullets or nail). Jesse should've asked for the statistics before signing up.
 * And where's Eric now? He got shot again, this time by his own girlfriend while helping his father escape the mob. There was also some question as to the legitimacy of his US citizenship.
 * Horatio himself could also qualify.
 * California Doubling: Except for the season opening episodes, the show is not filmed in Miami (which may explain the random mountains out of nowhere). Considering Space Mountain is the third-highest point in the entire state of Florida, anything with a higher elevation than an anthill is out of place in Miami.
 * "Miami-Dade PD Headquarters" is actually the main office of a federal credit union near LAX.
 * Changing Clothes Is a Free Action
 * Chekhov's Gun: Speedle's gun, which he doesn't keep clean and misfired on him once (and earned him a stern talking to from Calleigh) before his fatal shooting.
 * Chekhov MIA: Caine's brother.
 * Children Are a Waste: One episode has a guy who, while not opposed to monogamy, really dislikes sharing his wife with another creature to the point of hiring three people to give his wife a Convenient Miscarriage via carjacking (one for surveillance, one to hit her rigged car, and one to steal it and possibly ). It doesn't work
 * Click. "Hello.": Horatio's favorite method of executing a Stealth Hi Bye on a perp.
 * Cold Opening: often featuring some of the most intense techno beats ever.
 * Color Wash: Everything is orange. Because it's in Miami.
 * Commuting on a Bus: Eric during Season 8.
 * Coolest Club Ever: It IS Miami, after all.
 * Cool Shades: Horatio Caine...*puts on shades* that is all.
 * YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
 * The production team have 100 sets of H's shades.
 * And the Season 8 opener is a Flash Back telling the origin story of H's shades.
 * A&E's promos of the show, when they aren't showing clips, simply have a set of sunglasses on a table. Other networks that carry the show often have snarktastic references to the Sunglasses of Justice.
 * The Coroner: Alexx Woods, Tara Price and Tom Loman.
 * Crime and Punishment Series
 * Crossover: With CSI: NY in the latter's second season.
 * The first episode was actually a crossover with the original CSI, and just recently they had another one with it.
 * Another Crossover with CSI in a later season, as part of a three part series having the original CSI cross over with both of it's spin offs.
 * Danger Takes a Backseat: The first Victim of the Week in "Special Delivery".
 * Dead for Real:
 * Death by Falling Over:
 * Death Glare: Horatio and Delko while Perp Sweating.
 * Death in the Clouds: "Flight Risk".
 * Diplomatic Impunity: One of the bad guys, naturally.
 * Dramatic Landfall Shot
 * Dropped a Bridge on Him:
 * Drugs Are Bad:
 * Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Tim "Speed" Speedle.
 * Evil Matriarch:
 * Expy:
 * One episode featured the three brothers Coleman: Hot-Blooded Sal, balanced Morgan, and Nice But Dim Freddy.
 * The Season 8 episode "Show Stopper" features a Hannah Montana Expy.
 * Extra Y, Extra Violent: In the Season 5 finale episode "Born to Kill", a couple knew that their son had this condition and constantly treated him with suspicion because of it.
 * Extreme Graphical Representation: The awesome holographic interface and other software the CSIs get to play with.
 * Eye Scream: Wolfe getting a nailgun to the eye. Owww.
 * False Widow: One episode has a Rare Male Example: a group of con artists posing
 * Fan Nickname:
 * The Sunglasses of Justice : Horatio's shades.
 * The Hummer of Justice: The Hummers they drive.
 * Super H : Horatio, especially during his dramatic escapes without injury.
 * Fan Service: What else do you call the regular shots in the pre-titles sequence of scantily-clad women? Or every outfit in Calleigh or Natalia's wardrobes? And, occasionally, Alex.
 * Also, the victim of the third case in the (first?) video game. You know what they say... dead chicks can't say "no"...
 * Flanderization: Caine used to have moments when he woruld actually emote.
 * Caine used to have moments where he worked in the lab, like, you know, a CSI.
 * If Caine did lab work, what would everyone else do?
 * Flock of Wolves: Minus the infiltration part, the cast of "The Boroughs". The two "party girls" were straight-A students, one guy was going to become a priest (he wanted to "reach out to sinners"), and as far as I could tell none of them was actually from New York.
 * Foreshadowing/Tempting Fate: When walking into a jewelry store with Horatio, Speed discusses expensive cars, disdaining them in favor of his bike. Caine mentions that he might need "something with doors" some day. Speed says he has plenty of time. He is fatally shot not 5 minutes later.
 * Freak-Out: Randy North gets that one bad day in "Mayday": He gets out on parole, but then his former cellmate, Complete Monster Jack Toller forces North to help him get rid of evidence. This causes North to lose his kids, who are then separated.
 * Friend to All Children: Don't mess with kids in Miami. There is nowhere you can hide from Horatio Caine.
 * Gentle Giant / One Head Taller / Scary Black Man: Walter, though I can't recall him being very intimidating.
 * Glasses Pull: Horatio Caine, Trope Codifier.
 * Gentle Giant / One Head Taller / Scary Black Man: Walter, though I can't recall him being very intimidating.
 * Glasses Pull: Horatio Caine, Trope Codifier.


 * Good Is Not Soft: Compare and contrast the way Horatio is with victims of crime compared to suspects.
 * Gut Feeling: Horatio. In fact, one wonders why the Miami-Dade police department even needs crime scene investigators, given the guilty party always turns out to be the person H doesn't like.
 * Homage: The description of one episode made it sound like the suspect's whole life was a Charade but actually
 * Hot Mom: Julia Winston, and arguably Alexx.
 * Hot Scientist: Take your pick of the entire cast. There is Simmons, who is...heavier than most people, but otherwise pretty good lookin'.
 * Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: "Hunting Ground".
 * Idiot Ball: The CSIs don't even have a camera in their interrogation rooms. Allowing suspects to beat themselves up on the table and claim police brutality.
 * What makes this scene even worse is the fact that said interrogation room is basically made entirely out of glass, meaning pretty much anyone else in the entire police station at the time and within 200 yards of the scene would have seen the suspect smashing their head into the table while Horatio is standing on the other side of the room.
 * To be fair, A lot of cop shows seem not to have cameras either. This is edging closer and closer to a Discredited Trope, however.
 * The sad part is that the suspect beating himself up to claim police brutality ploy happened not one, but twice. Seems that while they can afford holographic interfaces, cameras for the interrogation rooms are still way too expensive.
 * A possible justification is that Horatio uses the interrogation room to beat up suspects he doesn't like several times. It would be difficult to explain why the cameras were shut off for a while.
 * Meanwhile, up in New York, Mac Taylor responds to a suspect trying this by explaining how forensic evidence can establish that the wound was self-inflicted. The perp sulks a bit and asks for an aspirin.
 * CSI (the original) does have a camera in the interrogation room. As seen in the episode where the suspect went ballistic and tried to strangle Grissom.
 * Horatio, at the end of the episode Manhunt.
 * Ill Girl: Eric's sister, who valiantly survives cancer only to get a terminal case of bullet to the gut; Horatio's brother also had an illegitimate daughter who is diagnosed with leukemia (I think), necessitating Horatio to tell the widow about this so that her son can be tested as a potential bone marrow donor.
 * Ill Guy: One of 103 donor children tracks down his biological father because he (the son) suffers from a rare disease and needs a compatible liver. Unfortunately the soon-to-be-late bio dad isn't interested in helping
 * Initialism Title: The first half, at least...
 * It's Personal: Horatio chases all the way to Rio in Brazil, and then exacts justice upon the Corcovado.
 * The Lab Rat: Originally Natalia, now shared by Maxine and Travers, who is very... British.
 * Laser-Guided Amnesia: "Dude Where's My Groom", thanks to a drug.
 * Last-Name Basis: Horatio to Ryan. It's never explained why Ryan is the only one to get this treatment from Horatio.
 * Speedle was mostly refered to by his last name, or his nickname "Speed".
 * Because his name is MR. WOLFE. If people could call me Mr. Wolfe I'd beg people to call me by my last name.
 * Law of Inverse Fertility: A woman who's been trying for three years to get pregnant is understandably angry when her friend gets pregnant without trying and then asks her to host a baby shower.
 * Lighter and Softer: it certainly seems like it, but probably just due to Narm.
 * Locard's Theory: Mentioned by name at least twice.
 * Luke, You Are My Father: Caine discovers he has a son he didn't know about. The mum is Jessie off Saved by the Bell.
 * MacGyvering: When Calleigh gets kidnapped, she uses her l33t forensic skillz to give the team the identities of her kidnappers and her location, which Catherine had also done, years before.
 * Made of Iron: . The next morning he goes home, cleans up, and proceeds to climb thirty flights of stairs to get to a crime scene, without even breaking a sweat.
 * Then in the Season 10 premiere, despite having been shot, Horatio leaps into the water to save Boa Vista, spends a few minutes underwater rescuing her. Then despite being taken to the hospital, he doesn't get treatment and spends the entire show chasing down the bad guys. Sure, he doesn't look that great but still.
 * He actually passes out underwater and has to be dragged to the surface by Natalia, while hallucinating he's in heaven with Marisol. He spends the episode hearing Mari's voice and looking like he's about to keel over at any moment (pale, weak and sweating). Could be an example of the determinator.
 * Magical Computer
 * The Main Characters Do Everything: While not as bad about this as the original, this show definitely falls into this category. For starters, while in real life most CSIs actually are police officers (meaning having badges and guns is not much of stretch) they would not be doing lab work or interrogating suspects. A CSI's jobs is simply to obtain and document evidence from crime scenes, and then they move on to the next. Horatio Caine, holds the rank of Lieutenant, a supervisory position that would keep him in the lab for the most part (doing administrative work, not lab work) in real life, if he were going to show up at a crime scene he would not be the first to get there as he more than likely would have been called in by the investigators already on the scene. In reality, Detective Sergeant Frank Tripp is the only person in the main cast that would be doing the investigating.
 * Man Child / Father of a Thousand Young: A victim who was a sperm donor and had 103 children; unfortunately he was a jerk to three of them
 * Man On Fire: The fate of at least two Corpses Of The Week, both related to siphoning gasoline out of the tank (but in different episodes)
 * Miami: the name of the show and the setting, naturally.
 * Misblamed: David Caruso is blamed for Caine's Narmy portrayal, but he emotes a lot more in earlier seasons and can actually act on other shows. It seems like the producers deliberately decided to Flanderize him.
 * Misplaced Wildlife: An episode has the CSIs wander in on a Grizzly... around Miami...
 * Missing White Woman Syndrome: Caine and Delko both comment on the fact that missing women are more likely to attract media attention if they're white.
 * The Mole:
 * Mood Lighting: Because it's always easier to find forensic evidence in a darkened room.
 * Ms. Fanservice: Natalia and Calleigh share this duty, but have reined it in recently.
 * Mundane Made Awesome: This. Just... this.
 * "No one will be admitted during the breathtaking car-parking sequence!"
 * That and they edit looking at lab samples to make it look exciting.
 * Plus, there's the bizarre "lighting" of the lab, which makes it look like a cross between a rave and the bridge of the Enterprise.
 * Native American Casino: In the episode "Bloodline", a gaming official accused of trying to dip into Indian casino profits is found scalped to death.
 * Nautical Knockout: In one episode, a woman dies as a result of getting struck with a boom, rupturing her breast implants. No, really.
 * Never Found the Body: The fate of at least one nemesis who has escaped the long arm of the law.
 * Night Swim Equals Death: Too many episodes to list. It's usually signaled by finding the body floating in the swimming pool.
 * Not Proven: One episode rests on avoiding this. The CSI have evidence linking a person to a drive-by, but the key evidence is a testimony from the victim's son, who is a child and whom no one wants to put in front of a jury. The CSI race to find more evidence to make up for the kid.
 * Offing the Offspring: And possibly accidentally/coincidentally framing the older one for it.
 * Only in Florida: when it's not Only in Miami.
 * Only in Miami: the show is pretty much built around this.
 * Only One: The Miami cops cannot do ANYTHING - SWAT interventions, bomb disposal or police chase - without Horatio's direct presence and involvement.
 * Hilariously, later seasons regularly have Horatio showing up first when a crime is in progress, or there's a 911 call. And By showing up first we mean he gets there before patrol cars.
 * Our Ghosts Are Different: Callieigh is haunted, Ghost Whisperer-style, by a young boy who was killed in a fire (not surprisingly, they're both rather confused about this).
 * Overprotective Dad / Papa Wolf: "Dude Where's My Groom":
 * For another, see Alpha-Bitch.
 * Perp Walk: Once Per Episode, in super dramatic Slo Mo.
 * Pizza Boy Special Delivery: The parcel delivery driver in "Special Delivery" was having affairs with many of the housewives along his route. It was thought this might have been the reason he was murdered.
 * Police Brutality Gambit: Oh the problems they could save themselves if they invested in a camera for the interrogation room.
 * Poorly-Disguised Pilot: The Miami spinoff's first "episode" occurred in CSI when Catherine flew over to Miami when it turned out that a suspect escaping Las Vegas ended up in Miami. (The Miami spinoff would further provide a Poorly-Disguised Pilot for CSI New York when a case spilled into Mac's jurisdiction.)
 * Power Walk: At one point, Horatio opens the episode in a confessional. There's some commotion in the cemetery right outside, which happens to be gunmen disrupting a funeral. After an exchange of gunfire, Caine, Alex, and Frank are all standing around while the other three CSIs, each in their own car, all arrive. They walk towards the crime scene in slow motion while Alex, H, and Frank talk about the murder. All told, they cut back to the Power Walk five times before they actually arrive.
 * Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Just about every line out of Horatio's mouth. The other lines are One-Liner, Name. One-Liner..
 * Put on a Bus: Horatio's son enlisted in the army at some point; naturally his shore leave consisted of his Arab-American buddy possibly being dead, then accused of murder . At the end of the episode, he is literally put on a bus. He has yet to be seen again, over a season later.
 * Alexx leaves the morgue in Season 6 to become an ER doctor. She's occasionally appeared since then, usually when one of the team have been injured in the line of duty.
 * Quip to Black. Subverted on one occasion when the episode starts with Horatio's old friend on the bomb squad being killed in an explosion while he's outside. Caine, stunned, actually takes off his shades and says absolutely nothing.
 * Due to the sheer amount of mocking the character has received for his One-Liner style, Caine has pretty much stopped doing it.
 * Horatio is known so well for this, CBS did a "Horatio Caine Impression Contest" at one point.
 * Real Song Theme Tune: "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who, beginning right at the YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
 * Played as the grand finale of The Who's 2010 Super Bowl halftime show in Miami along with "Baba O'Riley" and "Who Are You?"
 * Recycled in Space: The climactic Brazilian episode is CSI: Miami... IN RIO DE JANIERO !
 * One episode, "Miami, we have a problem", was literally in space. The murder, at least.
 * Refuge in Cool: Everything Horatio thinks, says, and does.
 * Ripped from the Headlines: A closer example than most: The story about Boa Vista's sister appearing in a Serial Killer's trove of photos really happened to the actress' sister, who fortunately is still alive and even had a cameo (though not as her sister's sister).
 * Roaring Rampage of Revenge: The entire end of Season 4 brings the wrath of Horatio down on the Mala Noches when . This then leads to a perfectly pitched Tear Jerker.
 * Combined with Disproportionate Retribution:
 * Ruthless Modern Pirates: A boat is suspected to have been hit by pirates, but careful investigation turns out that it was
 * Sensei for Scoundrels: "The Score".
 * Ship Tease: Eric/Calleigh gets a big one when Calleigh dons a wedding veil while attempting to recreate the crime scene. The episode's ad was specifically cut to obscure the fact that the two were still wearing their normal clothes otherwise.
 * Shoot the Hostage: Mostly averted, as Horatio is good enough to shoot the hostage taker.
 * Sixth Ranger: Technically First Ranger Jesse Cardoza, who is introduced in flashback retiring just as Calleigh joins the lab; he rejoins just in time
 * Sliding Scale of Shiny Versus Gritty: Very much on the shiny side.
 * Southern-Fried Genius: Calleigh Duquesne, who is the Ballistics Expert.
 * Split Screen: Common in Season 5.
 * Stalker with a Crush: Jesse seems to be this towards a woman who moved from Los Angeles to Miami, but he's just keeping tabs on her since her husband got away with murder.
 * Stealth Hi Bye: Horatio is a master of the Stealth Hi.
 * Stock Footage: The aerial establishing shots over Miami.
 * Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Jessie Cardoza replacing
 * Take Five
 * Talking to the Dead: Alexx can sometimes take this to creepy extremes.
 * Then again, on at least one occasion a "corpse" was still alive!
 * Team Dad: Horatio to his team members, though he doesn't really go into full berserker mode unless Alexx or Calleigh are in danger. Meaning if you're a male member of Horatio's team... sucks to be you.
 * Team Mom: Alexx, who'd even act motherly to the corpses.
 * Too Soon: Wolf teasing Walter about going skydiving while examining a victim who died when his parachute was tampered with. Walter's response is "Hey, let's ask him how it was -- what, too soon?"
 * Unflinching Walk: Horatio doesn't look at explosions.
 * Although, it does raise the question of what happened to Frank? He was in the car with Horatio, but is never seen getting out.
 * Unholy Matrimony: The Happily Married couple who
 * Verbal Tic:
 * Horatio has a tendency to repeat himself for emphasis. Repeat For Emphasis.
 * Every episode, my friends... Every episode.
 * He'll also phrase half his statements in the form of a question, you understand?
 * Viewer-Friendly Interface: Every computer, every episode.
 * Vigilante Execution: A common hazard, and not just at the end of the episode, either - sometimes it happens halfway through and they discover some additional twist in the case.
 * We Are Everywhere: Subverted on at least one occasion when Horatio answers back that he'll be using the evidence they found out of the Perp Of the Week's stuff to hunt down every last member of this "we".
 * "Well Done, Son" Guy: Not even could appease
 * The Who: So...YEAHHHH-- *is shot*
 * So that troper just became...the Dead Horse Trope. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 * A Worldwide Punomenon: "That gives a new meaning to the term 'fried hard drive'".
 * The episode "CSI: My Nanny".
 * Wham! Episode:
 * Whole-Plot Reference: "Dude, Where's My Groom?" was explicitly inspired by The Hangover, except Bloodier and Gorier (naturally) and the groom might be dead. The commercial even uses a few lines from the film.
 * Another episode featured a guy who
 * Yakuza: Featured in an episode, but only called "Sakiru" for some reason. This is the least of the episode's Did Not Do the Research.
 * Yakuza: Featured in an episode, but only called "Sakiru" for some reason. This is the least of the episode's Did Not Do the Research.

YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA-- *gets shot... again*
 * Looks like The Stinger... *glasses pull* ...just got stung.
 * YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!