The Osbournes



"SHAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

- Guess who?

The Osbournes was a Reality Show which aired on MTV from 2002 to 2005. It followed the life of the family of namesake Ozzy Osbourne, his wife Sharon and two of their three children, daughter Kelly and son Jack). In the second season, Rob (Robert Marcato) joins the family.

"Ozzy: "You know I thought I saw it all but now I have a fucking dog therapist. Fucking hell....""
 * And Starring: Ozzy, as "The Dad".
 * Bad Santa: One is seen during one of Ozzy's gigs. Slutty Mrs. Claus and evil little elves are also present.
 * Bumbling Dad: Ozzy.
 * The Cameo: The whole family had one in Austin Powers In Goldmember.
 * Christmas Episode: Two of them.
 * Cluster F-Bomb: Everywhere.
 * Sound Effect Bleep: Incredibly enough, Ozzy prefers this version, due to the cursing being more noticeable thanks to the bleeps.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Ozzy.

"Ozzy: I fucking hate Christmas. I fucking hate it with a passion."
 * Do Not Call Me "Paul": Even Sharon calls him Ozzy.
 * DVD Commentary: From various family members. Season 1 features Jack and Sharon. Season 2 features Kelly and Sharon, until Kelly apparently quits halfway through and is replaced by Ozzy and Aimee, the daughter who didn't appear on the show. Season 2 and a half is back to Jack and Sharon. The commentary itself is generally made up of the commentators laughing at the show, telling the audience who the various and otherwise unknown people on screen are, and reflecting on how much has changed in the year since the season was filmed. The two outsiders, Ozzy and Aimee, are very different in their commentary however. Ozzy refuses to discuss anything outside of what is going on in the episode because, after all, it's a commentary. Aimee often berates her family for agreeing to be on the show and what effect it has on how the public perceive them. A good portion of the commentary could serve as a radio-play version of the show.
 * Dysfunctional Family
 * The Ghost: Daughter Aimee Osbourne, who declined to participate in the show.  The few times she couldn't avoid being on camera, she was pixellated into an unrecognizable blur.  Oddly enough, though, as noted above she agreed to provide DVD commentary.
 * Gilligan Cut: Ozzy refuses to do a concert. Cut to him performing.
 * Ozzy refuses to record and perform a music video for a version of "Winter Wonderland" with Jessica Simpson. Cut to the music video with the song playing.
 * Good People Have Good Sex: Depending on your opinion of Ozzy and Sharon this trope is either played straight or completely averted. One episode features a segment where Ozzy and Sharon are interviewed about their sex life and it basically boils down to "Ozzy takes viagra, Sharon falls asleep while waiting for it to work, Ozzy tries to wake Sharon when it kicks in, Ozzy gets yelled at."
 * The Grinch: Ozzy makes his feelings on Christmas quite clear.

"Ozzy to Kelly: "Nobody better be messing around with you or-or... *picks up massive stone pestle* Or they'll get that up their fucking ass!""
 * Grumpy Old Man: Once again, Ozzy.
 * In the Style Of: Opening theme is a jazz-swing cover of "Crazy Train". By Pat Boone.
 * Jaded Washout: The show portrays Ozzy as a millionaire version of this. Ozzy frequently appears to be disrespected by his family, especially his wife, and comes off as actually being more sane than the rest of them. An example is when the cat gets out of the house and Ozzy, with a broken leg, chases it through trees and bushes because he doesn't want the coyotes to eat it. Kelly claims she can't do it because she has a broken leg, Jack either doesn't know or care what's going on and Sharon purposely ignores him when he asks someone to go save the cat (it's revealed in the DVD commentary that Sharon could hear his cries for help the whole time).
 * Loud of War: Sharon and the kids started one with their noisy neighbours in season one.
 * Ozzy proceeds to end it by throwing a chunk of firewood over the fence into the noisy neighbor's yard. Glass shatters, Ozzy wanders out of the bushes, and the episode ends with police car sirens wailing in the background.
 * Mama Bear/Papa Wolf: I'ts made clear Ozzy and Sharon are very protective of their children.

"Ozzy: I love you all, I love you more than life itself...but you all are fucking mad."
 * Manipulative Editing: Some scenes are edited like this to make them seem more comical.
 * Lampshaded in the first season commentary by Jack who often points out "the magic of MTV editing".
 * Mr. Vice Guy: Ozzy is clearly a kind man with a good heart. He's also a notorious drug addict and alcoholic.
 * Old Shame: Ozzy is ashamed of this show, and refuses to watch its episodes.
 * Only Sane Man: Ozzy, surprisingly enough. He often reflects on how excessive the family's spending is, how senseless his children's nightlife behaviour is, how they have too many animals, how nobody takes his wishes and opinions seriously and how unnecessarily hi-tech his house is ("Fucking space age shit!"). His only desires seem to be relaxing and watching The History Channel while the rest of the family indulges in their fame and fortune.


 * Rated "M" for Money
 * Real Song Theme Tune/Cover Version: Pat Boone's version of "Crazy Train".
 * The Scrooge: Ozzy shits himself when he knows Sharon and Kelly are going shopping and for the early part of the series how much money that Sharon spent on their house is brought up as a bone of contention. Even on his birthday, which occurred when he was away on tour, when Sharon asked him if he wanted them to come visit him on his birthday he simply said "Can't afford it, got no dough."
 * He did grow up poor, so it kind of makes sense.
 * And on the other, it's probably responsible for him being able to live as well as he does rather than being literally filthy rich one day and losing it all the next.
 * Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll: The Osbournes is a happier-than-usual outcome to this trope.
 * Start My Own: Kelly Osbourne started her musical career, and Sharon had a talk show.
 * Truth-Telling Session
 * Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Lola's Crowning Moment of Awesome.