Ms. Wiz/Funny

"Mr Goff: Peter Rabbit under a bus? This could change the whole shape of children's literature! Podge: It's certainly changed the shape of Peter Rabbit..."
 * From In Control Ms Wiz when Peter Rabbit ends up under a bus.

""Fire! Don't worry, I heard the siren. Pensioners out first!""
 * Earlier in the book Mr Goff has a fit when he reads a notice from the council, prompting an old man to wake up and assume it's a fire alarm.

"Jack: Ms Wiz got married and the magic faded. Mrs Smith: (looking grumpily at her husband) I know the feeling."
 * From You're Kidding Ms Wiz:

"Ms Wiz: Oh look, a television producer has just been transformed into a panda. As we all know, the panda is a threatened species. (pulls the panda's ear) In fact, I'm threatening this one right now."
 * Ms Wiz doing the evening news in Ms Wiz Goes Live and deciding it's too depressing so instead reporting on what Caroline's parents' night out. The producer tries to stop her and...

"Lizzie: Ms Wiz, just think about this. You cannot fall in love with a vampire. Jack: Yeah, after a few nights out with him your neck would be like a pin cushion."
 * Ms Wiz Loves Dracula has a hilarious chapter when Ms Wiz shows up at Lizzie's house floating in mid air with butterflies buzzing around her and reciting dreamy poetry. Jack and Lizzie's reactions are even better:

"Lizzie: (calling back into the kitchen) Mum, me and Jack are just going off to reunite Ms Wiz with the love of her life who may be a bloodsucking lord of the undead. Mrs Thompson: (who has a massive hangover) Mmm-hmm."
 * We also get this little gem as they all set out...