The Brittas Empire/Characters

Regular Cast
Gordon Wellesley Brittas

Gordon Brittas is the Manager of Whitbury Leisure Centre. He is utterly devoted to his job and is unshakably convinced he can make the world a better place. Unfortunately despite being very well meaning he is absolutely hopeless at his job, myopically devoted to red tape and utterly lacking in people skills. Played by Chris Barrie.


 * Butt Monkey
 * Does Not Understand Sarcasm
 * Obstructive Bureaucrat
 * Pointy-Haired Boss
 * Small Name, Big Ego
 * Unresolved Sexual Tension: With Laura.
 * Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Though how much tends to vary. Sometimes he is a totally insensitive jerk sometimes he is very much a well meaning Woobie.
 * Weirdness Magnet
 * Wide-Eyed Idealist: "I have a dream..."

Helen Brittas

Gordon's hopelessly neurotic, adulterous wife. She seems to survive mostly on perscription medication. Played by Pippa Haywood.


 * Berserk Button: Do not call Helen brittas a bad mother.
 * Broken Bird
 * Cloudcuckoolander
 * Good Adultery, Bad Adultery: Her unfaithfulness is a running gag and depicted as a character flaw, though not a very bad one. Fans tend to view her more harshly, especially since Gordon is completely faithful.
 * Lady Drunk
 * Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist

Laura Lancing

Brittas's long suffering second in command, Laura is the Deputy Manager Dry of Whitbury Leisure Centre. A highly intelligent and capable woman, Laura is well aware of Brittas's faults but sees beyond them and likes him for his idealism and genuinely good intentions. Played by Julia St. John


 * Deadpan Snarker
 * Hypercompetent Sidekick
 * Only Sane Employee
 * Servile Snarker
 * Unresolved Sexual Tension: With Brittas.

Colin Weatherby

Colin is Deputy Manager Wet. He is absolutely devoted to Brittas and his dream which makes it unfortunate that Brittas finds him irritating and incompetent and even more unfortunate that he is both of these things. Played by Michael Burns


 * Bumbling Sidekick
 * The Chew Toy
 * Cloudcuckoolander
 * The Ditz
 * Gonk
 * Granola Guy
 * Ultimate Job Security
 * Woobie

Carole Parkinson

The Leisure Centres hapless receptionist who raises her children in drawers at her desk. Played by Harriet Thorpe.


 * The Chew Toy
 * Hollywood Pudgy
 * Ultimate Job Security
 * Woobie

Gavin Featherly

Pool attendant and later Deputy Manager. Perhaps the nicest and most sensitive character on the show. In a relationship with Tim Whistler of which everyone but Brittas is aware. Played by Tim Marriott.


 * Butt Monkey
 * Nice Guy
 * Invisible to Gaydar

Linda Perkin

Petite blonde attendant. Very keen and loyal but pretty naive and suggestible. She is quite as worshipful of Brittas as Colin is but she certainly respects him much more than most of the staff. Played by Jill Greenacre.


 * Hair of Gold
 * Pint-Sized Powerhouse: She's tiny but surprisingly strong.
 * May-December Romance: She was in a long term relationship with someone she knew from school - her sixty-something headmaster.

Tim Whistler

Pool attendant and Gavin's boyfriend. Probably likes Brittas the least out of any of the staff (or at least joint least with Julie.) Played by Russell Porter.


 * Clingy Jealous Guy
 * Deadpan Snarker
 * Dismotivation
 * Servile Snarker
 * Invisible to Gaydar

Julie Porter

Brittas's lazy, gobby, Northern secretary. Played by Judy Flynn


 * Jerkass
 * Sassy Secretary
 * Servile Snarker
 * Sexy Secretary