Blatant Lies/Web Comics

Would You Believe There Are No Examples of in ?

"Susan: What's to explain? My hair changed color. It happens! Nanase: Hair doesn't just spontaneously change color! Susan: I stand by my ridiculous claim."
 * In El Goonish Shive, when the girls (plus Justin) have a sleepover at Susan's:

"Thief: Ghosts. Red Mage: Aliens. Thief: Ghost aliens. Red Mage: Who possessed us. Thief: From space!"
 * It later turns out that in this world, hair spontaneously changing color is an officially recognized medical condition, albeit only as a part of The Masquerade. Lampshaded as a Brick Joke that took far too long to pay off.
 * Also, cover-ups invented by Mr.Verres that go beyond even Paper-Thin Disguise. And people complained about Rhoda's Clark Kenting being implausible ...
 * In Misfile, Rumisiel's presence is explained as being Ash's Canadian exchange student live-in boyfriend. Since the story takes place in Massachusetts, this is regarded as being a little implausible to say the least.
 * In Sluggy Freelance, after a 50-foot-tall Aylee runs through the suburbs causing mass destruction, she retreats into her shell and tries to pass herself off as a volcano. When the mob chasing her wonder how a volcano wound up in New Jersey, Aylee tells them global warming did it. Everyone finds this perfectly plausible and never question the fact that a volcano just answered their question.
 * Because it's a global warming volcano and therefore not subject to the normal rules of a volcano.
 * The Guacans of the Punyverse arc will insist that they do not eat people, even while sharpening cleavers and warming up the cooking pots. "Come to Chau-5, we won't eat you!"
 * Red Mage and Thief use this in 8-Bit Theater when Ranger asks why they betrayed his group:

"Warmech: I HAVE NO LASERS AND WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE. Later... Warmech: BEHOLD MY HUMAN LASER! And later still... Black Mage: Oh, Lord, why does the robot have a mustache? Warmech: I grew it with my human lip."
 * Warmech is especially prone to this.

"Gabe: You told me this book a) wasn't fantasy, and b) contained no dragons."
 * Penny Arcade:
 * The first part of this. (Gabe's not exactly well-versed in the difference between dragons and dragaerans.)

"Gabe: You said this would be easy, a half an hour tops! My world is pain! Tycho: Gabe, sometimes in order to hurt someone very badly, you have to tell that person terrible lies."
 * And then there was the time Gabe wrestled Windows XP

"Unity: Civilian, you is smoking crack. I am a totally normal alive human federal agent. (Her arm falls off.) Unity: ...who has a cold."
 * Buck Godot Zap Gun for Hire engages in a bit of this toward the end of the Psmith storyline (warning: spoilers!) toward the end, when he alternates between telling one thing and  the precise opposite, in front of them both.
 * DM of the Rings: Walking sticks.
 * In Questionable Content, comic #499, Jeph writes in his little blurb at the bottom of the page "Comic number 500 is Monday. I don't have anything particularly special planned, but who knows." for the entire run of QC previous to this, Faye and Marten's possible relationship had driven most of the plot. In comic number 500, the two of them resolve the situation and the plot progresses.
 * In Order of the Stick, Haley has a Bluff Skill that is ridiculously high, letting her get away with almost anything.
 * Turned Up to Eleven in this strip thanks to a potion of glibness. Note that this is consistent with D&D 3.5 rules - If your Bluff check beats your opponent's Sense Motive by 20 or more, you can get them to believe things that are actually impossible. Glibness adds 30 to your Bluff check.
 * On MS Paint Masterpieces, Dr. Wily manages to get Dr. Light to build all the robots he uses for his first attempt at world domination by saying they're for mining.
 * In Stick Figure Hamlet, Laertes poisons his sword by dipping it in a barrel labeled "Not Poison, Honest".
 * In Bob and George, Kalinka goes for No one up here but us air duct mice.
 * In this Skin Horse strip, Unity, who is a zombie, tries unsuccessfully to uphold the Masquerade.

"Dillon: You know...it's none of my business...but someday you will have to tell your wife you're gay. Dillon's Agent: Ho-ho-ho! Don't be silly! I'm not gay! That's why I have you wear the wig! Dillon: I think it might be a little bit gay. Dillon's Agent: Dilly...straight married men have secret gay sex all the time! Dillon: That sounds made up. Dillon's Agent: It's true! It's called "being on the down low". Saw it on Oprah."
 * There are NO blatant lies in Girl Genius. Certainly not in the last panel of this page. He's even got a signature to prove it!
 * Not surprisingly, in Sinfest, The Devil and his minions are prone to this, such as this strip.
 * Bittersweet Candy Bowl, David: "I'm menstruating."
 * Manipulative Bastard Adam Terrence from Loserz is an expert at this. See this strip.
 * Dillon's agent in Ménage à 3, attempting to explain away the fact that he's in a Transparent Closet.

"Mike: So... Sandra: I'M NOT A DEMON!"
 * And the best part? Not only does the agent seem to believe it himself, but Dillon thinks it's credible because Oprah presumably said it.
 * Footloose the objection to a Wounded Gazelle Gambit.
 * Bug insists that skipping isn't gay.
 * Each update of "No Black Plume" comes with the authors' totally real credentials.
 * Sandra of Zebra Girl initially trying to cover up her demonic appearance starts out very badly at this. Her story about the origins of her "scars" involves low flying birds, a ladder and a room full of knives.

""Listen, like I told your captain, that orphanage attacked me. It was self defense.""
 * Contemplating Reiko http://taintedink.com/?p=1271
 * In Sinfest, Baby Blue at first opted for Double Meaning to protect Fuchsia, but turned to lies in the end, claiming she couldn't find Fuchsia.
 * A meta-example occurs in Mountain Time when the author claims to have injured his hand beyond the ability to write or draw... in his own handwriting, over a series of 12 drawings.
 * VG Cats: Updates every Monday!
 * In Looking for Group, Richard gives us this gem:


 * In No Rest for The Wicked, November says -- badly -- that the stories of the witch sound like something to frighten children with.