Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (novel)/Recap/C03 The Letters From No One

By the time Harry's punishment in his cupboard ends, the school holidays have started. (Did the Dursleys let Harry out for school during all that time?) Harry is looking forward to the next school year. He'll be going to a crappy secondary school, but he'll be away from Dudley, who is, of course, going to a better school -- Uncle Vernon's alma mater Smeltings. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia burst with pride when they see Dudley wearing the hilariously hideous Smeltings uniform, which includes a knobbly stick for hitting other students with. This is considered "good training for later life."

The next day, when Harry gets the mail, he finds three letters -- a bill, a letter from Aunt Marge, and a letter for himself. Which includes his cupboard in the address. Harry gives the first two letters to Uncle Vernon and starts to open his own letter, having apparently decided it's not from a creepy stalker. But Uncle Vernon snatches the letter and is shocked by its contents. He throws Harry and Dudley into the hall when they both demand to read it. The two boys eavesdrop as Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia talk worriedly about the letter and decide to just ignore it. Later that day, Uncle Vernon tells Harry that he's getting too big for the cupboard and moves him into Dudley's "second bedroom", which is mostly filled with the junk Dudley doesn't play with anymore. Naturally, Dudley throws a tantrum over this outrage, but his parents still don't give him back his second bedroom.

But there's another letter for Harry the next day. And another the day after that. Hilarity Ensues as Uncle Vernon tries to stop the letters. He nails shut the mail slot, but the letters are shoved in through gaps around the door and windows. He stops going to work and boards up the house, but the letters arrive inside the eggs delivered by the milkman. Finally comes the scene the movie made famous -- letters flood in through the chimney. This is the last straw. Uncle Vernon goes completely mad and forces everyone into the car. He spends all day driving, never stopping for food. At night, they sleep at a dumpy hotel miles away. But the next morning, the hotel owner informs them that a hundred letters have come in for Harry. Uncle Vernon destroys the letters and then the family is on the road again. That afternoon, he reaches the coastline and leaves the car with everyone locked inside. When Dudley complains that he's missing a TV show which airs on Mondays, Harry realizes that tomorrow is Tuesday and therefore his eleventh birthday.

Eventually, Uncle Vernon returns with a mysterious thin package and explains he's rented a tiny shack located on a rock out at sea, happily adding that there's a storm forecast. Surely no one would reach a shack in the middle of the ocean during a storm to deliver mail, right? The family takes an old rowboat out to the shack and settles in for the night as the storm arrives. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia take the only bed while Dudley gets the moth-eaten sofa and Harry is left with the floor. Unable to sleep, Harry watches Dudley's watch tick down the seconds until his birthday. At the stroke of midnight, there is a boom as someone knocks on the door outside.