Pizza Boy Special Delivery



"Maude Lebowski: Lord...you can imagine where it goes from here...

The Dude: He fixes the cable?"

- The Big Lebowski, in regards to the "Logjammin'" porno

If pornography is to be believed, no profession results in higher rates of sexual promiscuity than being a pizza delivery boy. Any mention of pizza in a pornographic movie will result in a pizza boy having sex. You'd be surprised that there aren't people clamoring to sign up with Pizza Hut just for the tips alone. Expect to hear some really crappy dialogue about "sausage". Note, pizza delivery people often receive special training to defy this.

This doesn't apply to just pizza boys, but any profession which requires house calls. Plumber are good for this too, complete with bad "cleaning out your pipes" jokes. Cable repairmen are also notoriously sex-crazed, as their job will invariably require some screwing, drills with unusually large bits, cables, making a good contact and positioning the antenna at the right place. It gives viewers the thrill of supposedly watching anonymous, spur-of-the-moment sex without a production team having to use any other sets than a living room or bedroom where the "total strangers" meet. Cheating With the Milkman is a related trope with an implication of an ongoing affair.

Incidentally, in actual pornography pizza delivery girls are starting to become popular, possibly due to overexposure (as it were) of the male sex for this.

For the video game equivalent, see Excuse Plot.

No Real Life Examples, Please

Advertising

 * Channel 4 parodied this in a launch advert for their "adult entertainment" channel, More 4. The advert features Ron Jeremy as a repairman who a woman with his special tool.
 * Parodied in a pizza commercial, where an older (late-thirties) woman lures an older (early-forties) pizza delivery "boy" in, despite his protestations of "We're not supposed to go inside", and they enjoy the pizza together with hints of things to come, such as the woman cooing, "Now that's what I call delivery!"...and then their kid walks in, as grossed out as any kid would be at a hint of parental sexuality.
 * For even more irony? This was an advertisement for a frozen pizza.
 * "It's not delivery, it's Delissio(TM). And you're not a delivery boy, dad! No wonder I don't have any friends!"
 * Visa commercial that raised some controversy: A young muscled plumber comes to repair housewife's bathtub. Then comes the time to pay: the woman smiles seductively and unbuttons the plumber's shirt... to reveal a card reader slot.
 * Parodied in an Australian beer commericial where a man spies his neighbours about to make their own erotic video, dons a cheesy costume (complete with fake porn star moustache) and knocks on their door, announcing that he is "Here to clean the pool". They invite him in.
 * Parodied in a commercial by PETA that has the dubious distinction of being rejected for the 2004 Superbowl.
 * Parodied in a British beer advert with the message that it's worth taking the time to do something properly - we're treated to a half-assed version of this trope in which the guy lacks a huge moustache and actually starts fixing the fridge. The line "I've come to fix your fridge!" delivered in a Joey-from-Friends voice briefly became a Memetic Mutation.
 * Shtop! Shtop! You can see it here!
 * Unintentionally invoked in an old TWA ad. The ad was a fairly normal ad talking about superior service and travel experience. Perfectly normal... except the lines were spoken by a trio of stewardess wearing tight short shorts and tight crop tops as they walk across the tarmac to a small plane.
 * Right...Unintentionally
 * You know what they say, 'I don't like TWA coffee, but I love TWA tea.'
 * One ad for frozen pizza featured a man feeding a woman various foods while she was wearing a Sleep Mask. When he gets to the pizza, she takes off the blindfold, yells "You invited a pizza delivery boy here?! What kind of girl do you think I am?!", and storms off.
 * Citibank ran a series of commercials with people speaking in what was clearly someone else's voice -- i.e. the voice of the person who stolen their identity -- bragging about all the stuff they bought with the victim's money. One ended with the line (from a woman's voice): "Tomorrow I'm getting a pool boy ... and I don't even have a pool!"
 * Parodied in a Kohler commercial in which a guy sees a good-looking female plumber, and starts flushing stuff down the toilet in a (futile) attempt to stop it up and create an excuse to ask her in.

Anime and Manga

 * In the first episode of Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt an older woman offers the young plumber a drink and to inspect her plumbing after he is finished with the job. Of course after the angels show up and mistake him for a ghost, Panty runs off with him to the nearest hotel.

Comic Books

 * Subverted in a story in the pornographic comic book XXXenophile, where a vibrator repairman casually disregards the advances of his clients (while leaving them satisfied by doing his job).
 * His friends call him Buzz.
 * Done multiple times in Cherry Comics: pool cleaner, delivery guy, washing machine repairman...
 * Apparently done in at least one issue of a Bat-family comic book, where it seems like every female villain in Gotham is convening...and then the pizza delivery boy shows up. Harley Quinn in particular is excited to see him. She then
 * It was the third issue of Harley's own series. Memorable because of the fact that in the face of several beautiful villianesses, the pizza guy starts screaming.
 * In a short Stinky strip in Hate, he appears in a porno movie playing a pizza delivery boy.
 * In a strip in the furry comic Genus, a boyfriend has bought a porn video titled Plumber's Helper at the request of his girlfriend. A plumber and a pool guy arrive at a woman's house and the guy assumes the woman is about to be double-teamed. However, when the lady of the house leaves and the plumber and pool guy start getting it on with each other, the guy realises - to his horror and his girlfriend's amusement - that he has accidentally bought a gay porn video.
 * Done deliberately in the Ramba story "Humbling the Boss" where Ramba seduces a grocery delivery driver so she can plant a bomb in his next delivery.

Film
"Female character: "Is that a pepperoni in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
 * Lampshaded in The Beach Girls.

Delivery Boy: "It's a pepperoni." (Pulling out a good sized pepperoni sausage)

Female character: (sighs and grabs his shirt) "Come on...""

"Some Skank: What can you do about...the pain?
 * Lampshaded in The Big Lebowski, as the Dude and Maude watch the intro to the subtly-titled film "LOGJAMMIN'", as quoted above.
 * Erika Lust's film The Good Girl, possibly the closest thing to a Deconstruction of porn that you can get, plays out this scenario from the woman's point of view. It starts with the woman discussing with her friend this particular porn trope, so when her pizza delivery boy arrives, she decides to act it out.
 * In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, one of the jewel thieves tells a pizza delivery man that she's in the mood for "a hot, thick Sicilian". He disappears with her off-screen.
 * In Edward Scissorhands, Joyce tries to seduce a plumber early in the film (to establish a basis for her attempted seduction of Edward later on).
 * In Four Rooms, a coven of witches in the Honeymoon suite lure the bellhop into the hot tub and have sex with him, to get the final ingredient for their spell.
 * Parodied in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, in which Zack portrays a cream delivery man.
 * The indie film Pizza follows a girl who spends her 18th birthday hanging out with a pizza delivery guy (played by Ethan Embry) because she has no friends. One of their deliveries is a horny housewife; there was no sex, but the girl calls him out on it later-- he says he plays to it for the tips.
 * In Eves Bayou, the title character's father Louis is a southern doctor who makes house calls, and doesn't really try to hide from his daughter the fact that he often has sex with his younger female patients.

Louis: Eve, go play outside. * Closes door* So what kind of pain are you in?"


 * Deep Throat had the grocery delivery boy (yes there were such things in 1972-- and there still are in some places) giving oral sex to a woman seated on the kitchen table, and looking slightly bored. At one point she is going to light a cigarette and asks, "Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?"
 * Timmy Lea in Confessions Of A Window Cleaner "serviced" many of his customers. And this was the basic plot of all the "Confessions of" movies.
 * Extract has a variation with a pool cleaner, complete with a soft-focus scene and poorly-delivered lines.
 * Machete had April and her mother June mistake Machete for the new gardener and invite him to join them in filming a Home Porn Movie. He accepts, but afterwards kidnaps them.

Internet Puppet Shows

 * Subverted when The Funday Pawpet Show cast interviewed Jeff the Pizza Guy. When asked if he is ever greeted at the door by naked women, Jeff said he has in the past (there is a nudist colony on his route), but they are generally not the women you'd want to live out this trope with.

Literature

 * The Anvilicious and conservative Mexican novel Juventud en Extásis, plays this trope for drama in the part in which the protagonist's mother tells him about their past: When he was newborn baby and his father was away on a trip she started an affair with a repair man who went to fix electric appliances, later she divorced the protagonist's father and married the repair man which turned out to be an alcoholic, wife-beater child abuser.

Live Action TV
"Joey: Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
 * Monty Python's Flying Circus plays this relatively straight, except that the man is a poet inspector.
 * A different sketch has a milkman lured into the house. The woman leads him to a back room and locks him in; he turns around and discovers that there are about a dozen milkmen already there, at least two of whom are dead.
 * Sloan and Ellen on Slings and Arrows meet this way, when he delivers flowers.
 * In the first episode of Torchwood, Gwen pretends to be delivering a pizza to get into the base, and the existing members break down laughing. Jack gives the script for if they hadn't, which sounds a lot like one of these scenes, stopping right before the actual offer of sex.
 * Tested by Chas of The Chaser.
 * Referenced in Friends when Chandler and Joey have been watching too much porn:

Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?""

"Sam: Oh my goodness, who could that be? I didn't order a collateralized debt obligation! Ooh, it's so long!"
 * Coupling did this one once, with Jane doinking a pizza delivery guy. On someone else's floor. It led to a Pregnancy Scare.
 * Another episode had Sally talking about doing the repairman version.
 * Smallville had a pizza boy get invited inside, and then get in a hot tub, only to be devoured by a sorority of Lesbian Vampires.
 * Charmed did the exact same thing, in an early episode of the show. A pizza boy is invited into a bachelorette party only to
 * To be fair, he was really a stripper invoking this trope.
 * The sitcom Blossom had an episode about a "mature" woman who would arrange for a new pizza boy's schedule to be filled with phony deliveries, so they could have some "private time."
 * Who, incidentally, was named "Mrs. Robertson."
 * Pizza has meant Ho Yay on The Daily Show since Election Night 2004, when Jon and Stephen shared a slice (tragically, no Spaghetti Kiss) and when Stephen interviewed Representative Brad Sherman for The Colbert Report, somehow the interview turned into Fresh Hot Slice.
 * Also, when The Daily Show covered the SEC porn scandal - employees of the Securities and Exchange Commission were dowloading Internet porn, while they should've been focusing on preventing the financial crisis - Samantha Bee suggested that in order to make finances more interesting, all financial documents should be delivered via "hunky pizza delivery guys". At this point, a guy appears, delivering a document to Sam:

"Scully: I was just about to jump in the shower, but I was waiting for the pizza man.
 * Roz toys with this twice on Frasier - in one episode, she comments that she intends to go home, put on some sexy underwear, and rip out her sink so as to have an excuse to invite the sexy new building superintendant over. In other episode, she invites Bulldog, who is working as a pizza man, up to her bedroom, making him think she wants to sleep with him; when she, instead, locks him out on her balcony naked, he thinks she's trying to invoke this trope and knocks on the door, calling out, "Pizza man!".
 * Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job parodied the Pizza Boy trope, having David Cross deliver a pizza directly into the women's locker room -- but alas, no bread sticks. When the woman he was delivering it to decided to chow down on something else, she discovered the pizza boy was built like a Ken doll. Cross explained there were many ways for a man and woman to show their love besides intercourse, and proceeded to sing a song about buying heart-shaped balloons and sending love notes. He closed by explaining to guys that if their partners are pushing them to go to far, they can just say no.
 * Referenced in an episode of Good Eats, of all things. Alton is talking about pasteurization of milk, referring to "the time when we got milk from guys in white suits who went door-to-door"; he opens the door and the milkman turns around...with a handful of flowers. As soon as he sees who he's dealing with, he says "Mister Brown...", hands AB the milk, and beats a hasty retreat.
 * Played for horrors in a Mad TV sketch involving Diana Ross calling cable men to fix her cable. Her lustful attitude seems to indicate this, but the cable guys are terrified of her, and try not to anger her by pointing out her fading celebrity or recently canceled tour. With good reason, as she ends up biting the nipple off of one of them, then spitting it out onto the guy's boss hours later when he comes to fix the cable.
 * All That had an ever-so-slightly more family-friendly version of this trope: In one sketch based around three girls at a sleepover, the girls ordered a pizza, hoping for an attractive delivery boy, but instead got a young man decked out in Nerd Glasses and an awkward personality. (He came directly to their room; I don't know why.) At some point after he left, one of the girls, an overtly stereotypical "goth" character who also appears to be a witch, introduced a potion that would make anyone who touched it fall in love with the first person they saw. They end up spilling it all over each other. Guess who walks back in?
 * Played for laughs in The X-Files episode "Empedocles". Mulder is offended when Scully answers her door expecting to see someone else. A slip-of-the-tongue remark about waiting for the pizza guy is made, and of course Mulder runs with it.

Mulder: You got something going on with the pizza guy I should know about?

Scully: The pizza man?

Mulder: Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but you did just say you were waiting for the pizza man to jump in the shower."

"James May: Might do. What's wrong with that?"
 * Top Gear featured a lengthy gag about how presenter James May's idea of a porn film would have the boiler repairman meet the lonely housewife in her negligee and.... repair the boiler.

"Rule 3: Do not distract the workman."
 * Called back to in an episode of James Mays Man Lab, where May builds a home theatre and then shoots a film to show as his premiere which consists of a woman's boiler going out, a plumber coming to fix it, and her towel falling off while he is trying to work.

"Castiel: It's very complex.
 * An episode of Malcolm in The Middle subverts this, with Francis forcing a porn director to shoot the delivery man actually delivering food (and attempting to act, while thoroughly confused) so as not to offend the owners of the hotel where the shoot is taking place.
 * One episode of CSI featured the murder of a clown who entertained at children's birthday parties, both the kids and the mothers.
 * In Glee, Puck uses his job as a pool cleaner as an opportunity to service older women.
 * Referenced in Supernatural In a Crowning Moment of Funny

Dean: Mmm-hmm.

Castiel: If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she's done something wrong.

Dean: You're watching porn? Why?

Castiel: It was there."

"Bill Bailey: I'm here to fix the turbo-thrusters.
 * Happens in Father Ted with the milkman.
 * Subverted on Pee Wees Playhouse when Jimmy Smits, as the Authorized Conky Repairman is asked by Miss Yvonne if that's a wrench in his pocket, to which he responds "Oh there it is."
 * Fiona Conway does this (literally with the pizza boy) in the Midsomer Murders episode "Not In My Back Yard".
 * In one episode of Six Feet Under, David has spontaneous sex with a plumber in the morgue. Later, he tells his boyfriend Keith about it, and warns him that he might have to talk about plumbing if he wants any action that night.
 * The parcel delivery driver in the CSI: Miami episode "Special Delivery" was having affairs with many of the housewives along his route. It was thought this might have been the reason he was murdered.
 * In Community episode The Art of Discourse Troy and Abed are discussing Porn Names when porn-esque bass music starts playing and a studly pizza delivery guy enters asking in a suggestive manner who ordered the pizza with "extra sausage" he has. After Troy and Abed flee the room, the music stops and the camera cuts to Leonard with a guitar saying he ordered the pizza.
 * Invoked on an episode of QI when the panel where discussing the problems of sex in space. Bill Bailey and Alan Davies started musing about what a porno set in space would be like:

Alan Davies: Then you'd better come through to the sleeping module."


 * An old NBC Conan O Brien skit showed Frankenstein did a porno like this aside from appearing in Van Helsing.
 * Goodness Gracious Me parodied the trope in a Chunky Lafanga sketch where he is exposed as having starred in a porn film where he played a milkman being seduced by a housewife.

Music

 * This trope is used in "Telephone Man", a '70s novelty hit by Meri Wilson.
 * And in her sequel, "Peter the Meter Reader." What makes it a sequel? The last line:
 * Also invoked in "Jolly Tinker", by Boiled in Lead
 * The charmingly coy "Super Orgy Porno Party" by the Planet Smashers starts with an audio clip from such a porno.

Newspaper Comics

 * A one-panel strip made by Argentinian cartoonist Quino depicted a Fast Love Delivery Service.

Urban Legends

 * "Crazed sex with a stranger coming to your house" (in some cases, even played down to rape by/of a stranger) has been the subject of many urban myths, which the newspapers of questionable quality have used to increase audience, from the Anglophone countries to former Eastern Bloc.

Video Games

 * The flash-game Trilogy Creep Kerics Komplex features a restaurant that actually caters to this trope (obviously sex sells, but this is ridiculous). It also features elves, a hormone-crazed teenaged Stalker With a Crush, a Manly Gay who works in the aforementioned pizza delivery, and a rather obscene Government Conspiracy. The author also does Rule 34 Anime Fan Art and Furry Fandom art.
 * Later editions of The Sims allow this by allowing you to form relationships with various members of the NPC hired help. Pizza delivery was just the tip of the iceberg of cliche situations, which included gardeners, technicians, maids, firefighters, police officers, and even thieves (provided you got to a good start by letting them out of the cop car after they tried to steal your stuff). Who cares about the next job, just invite them in, slip into something a little more comfortable and let your charms do the talking.

Webcomics
"Altair: Let's just say that our friend Hunter's choice form of entertainment has a little basis in fact."
 * Mildly subvert in Its Walky where the Martians try to torture Joyce by making her experience the scenario through mind control.
 * Altair Anunnaki in Suicide for Hire:

"Plumber Boyfriend: How's that going to fix her pipes!?"
 * Faulty Logic gives us a peek into Fox's mind. It starts with Krystal's exclusion from Super Smash Bros. Brawl and devolves into Fox (no relation) not knowing when to stop talking.
 * Made fun of by Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, when a woman's porn watching was ruined once she started dating a plumber.


 * A strip from Sabrina Online suggests that Zig Zag's actors were shooting one of these videos while Sabrina's niece Tabitha was visiting ... but only the first part.
 * Parodied in this Xkcd strip, which has a pizza boy, a plumber, and a French Maid showing up at the same time due to a scheduling mix-up. They eventually decide to forget the whole thing and play Agricola instead.
 * In Fur Will Fly Roxxy is a pizza girl who uses "unconventional" tactics to get bigger tips. Though the only one of her customers she actually slept with was her girlfriend, Natalie.
 * Parodied in Insecticomics. The Insecticons and company are pretending to have really loud sex to mess with a whiny, repressed G1 fanboy - in reality, they're just having a party. When the pizza girl comes over, they pay her extra to pretend to be doing this to mess with the kid's head even further.

Western Animation
"* "Oh~! We're all having sex~! With each other~!""
 * Parodied on Robot Chicken, with Conan O'Brien playing an inept pizza boy who didn't realize his customers were hitting on him.
 * Also happened in a "Frankenstein Wastes A Minute Of Our Time" skit when Conan asked Frankenstein if he did any other films that year aside from Van Helsing.
 * And again on another episode which is actually more a parody of screwed-up cable porn. While you can't see anything, a situation like this plays out with a Pizza Guy, then a Plumber, and a Pool-Cleaner (I think?) end up in a massive orgy, and in the end the first guy goes "Seriously, somebody has to pay for this pizza."


 * Subverted in an episode of The Critic. A young, Fabio-looking grocery delivery boy makes a stop at the elderly Mrs. Sherman's home, and proceeds to accidentally tear his shirt off on a nail (leaving only a Chippendale collar), ask where he can put his "hot buns", spill cooking oil over himself, and rub his hands over his torso to try and clean it off, all in rapid succession. Despite his efforts, Mrs. Sherman pays no attention to him and eventually pushes him out the door.
 * Parodied in The Simpsons where Selma is indicated to have called out a TV repairman solely for the purpose of this trope. The door is slammed on the scene just as the repairman realises that the TV isn't broken, just unplugged.
 * Their is an episode of Rocko's Modern Life where Mrs. Bighead repeatedly calls Rocko over with things to fix trying to attempt the act as it were.
 * Parodied in American Dad, where Roger is paid to write a porno script, but is criticized for using pizza boys and pool boys, something which is seen as outdated. When he attempts to write another one, he uses a "pool boy/pizza delivery boy", which is immediately shot down by Steve.

Web Original

 * Parodied in an Collegehumor video, where the trope plays out with a guy coming to the house to check for a gas leak. After doing the deed, he then dies in the woman's bed because there is a gas leak. Then the trope plays out exactly the same when a guy from the coroner's office shows up to collect the body.
 * Among the works of bloodninja is a subversion of this trope, as he makes the "special delivery" in the pizza.
 * Apparently, there's a porn website named "Big Sausage Pizza" (which as discussed in the link there, has a really stupid premise).
 * Averted in a cartoon short called, Michael the Terrible Boyfriend: Michael's trying to figure out how to see his girlfriend without her parents knowing. Upon seeing a pizza delivery boy, he turns to the audience and says, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
 * Parodied here with sock puppets.
 * A homoerotic furry story by one K.M. Hirosaki (available here - need I say it's NSFW?) played with the idea. The pizza delivery boy attempts to apologize for being late by showing up pantsless. The customer decides the sight isn't enough of an apology, and they end up having sex.
 * This (VERY NSFW), in Portuguese. But this time it's a Pizza Girl Special Delivery.
 * Played with in an older SMBC Theater skit - he actually is a plumber, but pretends to be a porn star as he fixes some leaky pipes.
 * In this Sailor Moon parody, the pizza boy is unfortunate enough to arrive just after all the Sailor Scouts have killed themselves without any good reason.