Deadpool/WMG

Deadpool
Comic/General

I wrote some of the spin-off comics myself.
I'm just very bored and making up stories to pass the time. I already know I'm in a comic book anyway, why not write some exciting adventures starring me for my lovely fans in my spare time? Some stuff I may or may not have written (I can't keep track of these things! Screwy memory, remember?) includes such exciting titles as Deadpool Corps, Deadpool: Max, and Deadpool: Noir.

Batman will eventually attack the Xavier School for Gifted Students.
His first move will be to make a new cowl of the same material as Juggernaut's and Magneto's helmets. He will drop the Batplane into the school by autopilot, and kill off as many of the other students as possible using bat-bots and all the technology he developed to fight or stole from villains. A dying Colossus, a traumatized Phoenix/Marvel Girl, and a nearly skeletonized Wolverine will kill him, as the scene zooms out, to show the school grounds, the grounds and nearby town, New England, the edges of the comic book... And Joker holding a pen. Deadpool has Grant Morrison and Chuck Austin tied up on the other side of the room, and is commenting that Joker's puns ruin it, to get rid of them. Joker comments that being cooped up while they write the issues must be making him a bit squirrely, but has no idea why that's funny... Until Squirrel Girl busts through the ceiling as the art style changes, landing on Deadpool. Joker gets away, and a note appears written in Squirrel Girl's handwriting across the (real) last page explaining that it was all a lie by the evil villains, and never really happened.
 * Why hasn't this been published yet?! First I'm getting that other guy by spamming his Facebook, then making the guys at Marvel take a vacation, if you know what I mean. Oh, this means I might get Kelly to come back!

Deadpool will be responsible for undoing One More Day.
Consult this right here for an explanation of where this came from. Spider-Man and Deadpool vs. Hell...

Deadpool was responsible for One More Day.
Ain't I a stinker.

Deadpool will fix everything.
Realizing that all the recent stories have derailed the Marvel universe he will go down to the comic book store buy all the issues of House Of M, One More Day, Civil War, The Xorn Storyline, whichever one said that the spider that bit peter was magic, and start crossing words out, replacing them. And he replaces the words "No more mutants." with the words "No more immortals" and will then find the issue where Xorn killed Jean Grey cross her out and doodle himself in her place and die and be dead happily ever after, reunited with death. And it will be take place in a one-shot issue called 'Deadpool Saves The Marvel Universe' and it will be awesome.
 * Can he trade Deaths with Captain America instead of Jean? She'll find a way back on her own she's done that before (only once but that's still more experience escaping the afterlife than Cap has).
 * He's all ready due to come back to life. And besides if he undoes Civil War that'll retcon Cap's death.

Both Deadpool and T Ray are Wade Wilson
Mercedes married a guy named Wade Wilson. Wilson is not such an uncommon name, and neither is Wade. The Wade Wilson she married became T Ray. The name of man saved from the river was not Jack. He was, however, a mercenary. The events T Ray recalled are simply a big misunderstanding, and after he accidentally killed Mercedes, Deadpool went a bit crazy (as usualтАж) and his memor defected so he would think he was Mercedes's husband.

Bullseye will do a Heel Face Turn.
The more he fights Deadpool, the more he gets to like him, even though he's been hired to kill him. Eventually, he might even become an Anti Hero and take up the mantle of Hawkeye for real, leading up to a limited series where he teams up with Deadpool to take down Osborne.
 * Actually they're already friends however since they're mercs. Bullseye is always willing to kill even his friends. Since Deadpool's unkillable, he's a challenge and Bullseye sees murder as ripping good fun so what better sport then THE UNKILLABLE. It quickly degresses into a rivalry when Bullseye can't kill him. Now he's given up seeing as he's a tad afraid of Deadpool, but as soon as his legs are back in commission he's going for Pooly. Also there's no way he's biting Norman's hand he has free reign under his Dark Reign. * snicker*
 * Somewhat Jossed now that Dark Reign has ended and, but I could actually see Bullseye   and instead of being a bad guy, just hanging out with Deadpool. Deadpool & Bullseye... could be awesome.

Deadpool is now in complete control of Disney.
The whole "Disney buys Marvel" thing is just a cover-up. Deadpool just went into Robert Iger's bedroom, and held him up at gunpoint in order to own Disney. He also let the rest of the Marvel characters in on the deal.
 * I'm...not sure whether to consider this awesome or horrifying.
 * I'd say it's Crazy Awesome.
 * It's awesorromefying.
 * Simple, it's all part of his plan to undo One More Day. He'll go to the real world (like in Enchanted) and give Joe Quesada a fate worse than death. And then he'll hang out in the Kingdom Hearts universe for a while since that Cloud chick is hot.
 * When he's not hitting on Axel and/or Tifa.
 * And then he'll go to the Pirates of the Caribbean universe and hang out with Captain Jack, whose hair he will envy with a fiery passion. They shall win the Black Pearl back from Barbossa and he and Ragetti will have a philosophical discussion of some sort.
 * And he will win the Black Pearl by either betting it on something Barbossa would think a sure thing--"Hey, I bet I can take more bullets to the head than you!"-- or by simply out-HAMMING him.
 * Someone write this. NOW.
 * If he goes to the Tron Universe inside the Kingdom Hearts one we would get such lines from the game grid as "We are in a game, in a computer world, which is on a planet of characters from other games, in side a universe made of games and movies, all on some disc in someones console."

Deadpool really is Tom Cruise.
That was his true face. Both are crazy, hyperactive at inappropriate times, in denial about their obvious Ho Yay, and have an odd and at times scary love life.
 * Don't you mean Thom Cruz?

Deadpool is reading this article even as we speak.
No I'm not. Err... I mean... Gottagobye!!!

The Deathstroke ripoff created by Rob Liefeld and the crazy fourth-wall-breaking Deadpool aren't the same character.
During the time in the Justice League/Avengers crossover that the Marvel and DC universes temporarily merged, the original Deadpool died offscreen. He was instantly brought back to life since nobody stays dead in superhero comics but due to some sort of weird paradox caused by his being a Captain Ersatz of Deathstroke and the two of them co-existing in the same temporarily-merged universe, he came back as a completely different person with a different Backstory. This sudden Retcon-induced loss of identity coupled with contradictory memories fucked with his sanity to the point that he realized that he was a character in a comic book and none of what had happened was even real. Thus, crazy fourth-wall-breaking Deadpool was born.
 * This would also explain all the confusion with T-Ray. The original, darker Deadpool that was more recognizably a Deathstroke rip-off came back to life after the universes split back into Marvel and DC. When he went to reclaim his place, he found someone else claiming to be him and took on the name T-Ray.

Deadpool is One of Us
He's a troper.
 * Oh yeah!
 * Sure am! Wait... how did YOU find that out? You been spying on me? Again?
 * It MIGHT have something to do with writing your own trope page.
 * Oh yeah. Well now that we've got that outta the way, allow me to announce that I'm currently accepting applications for new members of the Deadpool Corps.
 * Arf arf woof

Deadpool added all of these Wild Mass Guesses to this page himself.
No I didn't! Wait, I mean.. Damn it!

Deadpool is Daniel Tosh of Tosh.0.
They both love to insult people, offer random bits of commentary on a current situation, have a more sinister side, and have a great understanding of popular culture. And Deadpool seems like the type who'd say "I'm better than you. Nana nana boo boo. Stick your head in doo doo."

Deadpool is a Time Lord
Why wouldn't I be?

Deadpool is real.
The reason why he has No Fourth Wall? Because he's from our world. Our universe. Due to a Noodle Incident,Deadpool was trapped in the Marvel Comics universe,suffered amnesia and became who he is today. He has No Fourth Wall because he's from our world, and when you take Refuge In TV Land you retain awareness.

There's a reason why he's a mercenary
What's it shortened to? Merc. What other smart-mouthed character starts with MERC?
 * Does this mean Mercutio regenerated after the duel with Tybalt? And during the ensuing gang war between Capulets and Montagues (triggered by Merc's supposed death), he was simply watching it and eating popcorn?
 * I can't think of anything else I'd do.

In Spider Man Shattered Dimensions, Ultimate Deadpool is actually Amazing! Deadpool in disguise!
Starting in 2005, Deadpool began an epic quest to take over as many Marvel videogames as he could. He knew he had to get a piece of the action in Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, but all of the Amazing! villain slots were already taken. Not cool! Only thing left was one of the Ultimate universe slots, so he managed to bamboozle Ultimate Deadpool's name on the ballot. After that, it was simply a matter of teleporting to the Ultimate 'verse, tying up Mr. SRSpool, stealing his slightly different mask, baddabingbaddaboom I'M THE BOSS OF THE DEADLY REALITY SHOW LEVEL, SUCKERS!!! Next game, we're crashing the Noir Universe!

I am really one of Peter Parker's Clones.
Come to think of it it could be a possibility. We both wear masks, crack wise at everyone we meet superhero or villain, and we go to the same school....wait that last one is a lie. The only difference is that I kill people and don't shoot webs out of my ass. Oh come on those web shooters on his wrists are diversions. Still he better not have that same obsession with Bea that I do or I'll kill him. [Looks at himself in the Mirror.] Aha thought you'd sneak up on me and take Bea for yourself. Well die evil me. [Shoots mirror.] Ha that will teach me. Hey wait a minute if I am him how come I know that.... [spoiler: he is married and doesn't remember it.] Hey where did my text go? Oh so you think you can keep me from spoiling the well give me that keyboard. Thor is very attractive, Omega Red is a bedwetter and Wolverine i Did I Just Say That Out Loud

My crush on Bea Arthur has a dark and twisted origin.
Because Deadpool's meta factor was activated by repeated viewings of the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Powers/Mental Problems

My mental disorder is...
New and undocumented.
 * Imagine you know someone in real life, who constantly acts like the world is a series of fictional works. Sometimes you hear him talking to himself about "yellow boxes". Sometimes, when he gets hurt, he makes a remark about having more HP or wishing he'd used a savestate. You ask how old he is, and he tells you that he's been around since Issue #16—which makes no sense to you. This person is Deadpool, and he is insane. The fact that he's actually right about being in a fictional universe is merely coincidence.

Old age will not kill me.
My healing factor comes from the fact that my cells keep destroying and rebuilding themselves. Because of that, I should be quasi-immortal. My healing factor is also based on the DNA of Wolverine, who is now over a hundred years old and still inspiring fangirls.
 * The Other Wiki also says you've been "Cursed with Life" by Thanos, which is part of the freaky Love Triangle with Death they have going.
 * That's wrong. The resurrection was one-off; Thanos just promised he would bring him back every time to stop him from bumping uglies with Death. Thanos is dead now, so he might not be able to keep his word. (He has more important things to do.)
 * On the other hand, it might just mean it'll be easier for him to kick Deadpool out of the afterlife any time he actually gets offed...
 * In Messiah War, X-Force was in the far future when they run into Deadpool... who had locked himself in a refrigerator for 400 years. He's been awake for a hundred years or so, as evidenced by his costume having numerous bullet holes and roughly-stitched repairs. Though he claims to have known Domino "A thousand years ago".
 * He never was good with math.
 * Don't get us confused, it was just an expression. On the other hand, even authors have no idea how long he spent in a fridge. Some say 400 years other say 800....
 * Or 10 minutes.

The Deadpool Corps are all in my head.
We already know that I'm beyond nuts. So, rather than assume I'm meeting selves from an alternate universe, let's assume the far more likely option that I'm cracked up even more than usual; either slipping into full-blown schizophrenia (hallucinations, voices in my head) or Dissociative Identity Disorder (multiple personae). All the Corps, save myself, fit into stratified "flat" stereotypes; the chick, the mascot, the kid, etc.). This is often the case with most alternate personas of those with DID. I might go through his own brand of reintegration therapy... if so, it will be very weird. And terrifying.
 * So is Deadpool: MAX.

Deadpool has Asperger's Syndrome.
After all, Deadpool can be anti-social and prone to outbursts of anger, but he's also a pretty jovial guy, prone to crack jokes and make fun out of most of his enviroment. That makes him a more likely candidate for Asperger's than Roschach (who has no concept of fun or humor).
 * It is more possible that after Scarlet Witch said "No more Mutants", she then said "Oh, and everyone on the internet thinks that they and everyone else have Asperger's Syndrome."
 * yeah, thats a big stretch for a guy who has two different voices in his head and can break the fourth wall, it's just good ole lunacy.
 * His split personality has Asperger's Syndrome.
 * Well, This Troper has it diagnosed bad enough to be on permanent disability, and I can tell you it's a lot more than just "anti-social and angry" --DP shows none of the symptoms of Asperger's.
 * On the other hand I also have Asperger's and that sounds just like me, making this plausible. Autistim and all of its forms have a wide variety of symptoms, and the things you listed give me belief that its possible.
 * A lot of other mental disorders match DP's symptoms much more closely. And Aspergers sufferers are generally creatures of habit and prefer predictable patterns, while DP is just the opposite.
 * There is simply no way Deadpool has Asperger's. For one, he doesn't have anything similar to the social difficulties normally experienced and he's incredibly unpredictable. By far the closest disorder Deadpool could have would be Schizophrenia with dementia, possibly Dissociative Identity Disorder with dementia.
 * Not all social trouble looks alike, Deadpool's tendency not to take even the most blatant hints and not notice when he's annoying people are symptoms of Aspies he shares with me. Although I would peg him with NLD minus the lack of coordination and the routine symptom. It comes off as similar to Aspergers, but it isn't. NLD used to be known as "right brain damage" because people acquired it after damaging the right lobe of their brain, it was only discovered later that some people are born with enough of a difference in the right side of their brain to exhibit the symptoms, although there is some argument over if it is a real diagnosis and not a form of Aspergers. Isn't Deadpool basically brain damaged?. Also I'd like to point out while it is more common for people on the Autism spectrum (where Aspergers is) and with NLD to be creatures of habit, it's not universal. The reason why they most are is because both disorders are often accompanied by other ones (as in there is a positive correlation), like anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and more importantly for this argument, OCD. The OCD is what makes it hard for them to change routines and is simply one way OCD can present itself. Deadpool, in my opinion, has OCD, just look at how he obsesses over things, how he notices when things are out of place (like a gun's weight being off), and his relatively poor impulse control. List those traits to anyone who has or knows someone with even mild OCD, or has studied it, and they will tell you that those are classic symptoms. Schizophrenia, depression and bipolar disorder also have a positive correlation with them too.. And why does his randomness disqualify him from having habits and routines? Wouldn't his attempts to become good guy failing be him falling back into his unbreakable habitual, mercenary routine?
 * Just thought of something while typing up the above paragraph. One theory states Autism spectrum disorders are caused by a difference in the left lobe of the brain that is caused by an improper hormone balance during gestation. NLD has a similar theory, except with the opposite lobe and in a manner that can be acquired by significant damage to that part of the brain. Now remember that Deadpool's brain is always in flux, isn't it possible that one day his left lobe is normal, while his right one is in flux, giving him NLD, and another day his right lobe is normal but his left is in flux, so he falls somewhere on the autism scale? It makes sense doesn't it, Autistic one day, NLD another, two different sets of symptoms for two different days, messing up his OCD and ADD levels so his need for routines and habits fluxes too!
 * Who cares? If he doesn't, good for him. If he does, it only makes him inexplicably more awesome!
 * Of course I don't have Hamburger Syndrome you guys! Those zombies said I didn't taste good, even with mustard!

Deadpool has Bipolar Disorder
Specifically, severe, rapid-cycling Bipolar Disorder. Severe hypomania would explain his jovial mood, nonstop talking, and severe irritation at being interrupted. Meanwhile, his episodes of depression could be manifesting as violent rages. (Before anyone with BPD jumps on here to condemn this in the same fashion as the above WMG on Asperger's, this troper suffers from BPD severe enough to be on disability, and feels he should point out that Deadpool would obviously be on the far, far, FAR end of the spectrum)

Deadpool is not insane.
He's actually one of the very few characters in the universe who is completely sane. He is almost alone in not suffering from the delusion that he isn't a comic character, and the reason he acts the way he does is that he has a keen understanding of the way comics work.

As for the whole "Superman isn't real, HE'S JUST A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER!" thing from Ask Deadpool, he just says this because DC Comics happens to exist in the Marvel Universe, and Deadpool thinks people who ask that question are referring to the Superman comics in his own universe, not the one in the DC Universe.
 * Or alternately, he's so insane he loops all the way back to being sane.

Deadpool will ultimately become an Eldritch Abomination like Shuma-Gorath
He's an insane immortal living cancer. The Thanos Imperative reveals that Shuma-Gorath and the rest of his kind are also insane immortal living cancers who just happen to be a lot older than Deadpool. Who says Deadpool won't eventually look like a giant tentacle monster a few million years down the road?

Movies

The Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the same person as the comic Deadpool
And he deliberately derailed his own character to troll the audience.
 * It does seem like something he'd do...
 * And he'll make fun of it in the first five minutes of his spin-off movie.
 * Or spend the first five minutes trying to get his mouth to stay open as it keeps healing over.
 * Who figured out my genius scheme!? C'mon, raise your hand and I'll give you a doorknob. It's a very shiny doorknob...

The first scene of the Deadpool film will be Deadpool watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
He'll be so offended by the version of himself in the film that he'll make his own movie to do it properly. And who better to play the lead than the man himself?
 * Please let this happen.
 * Oh, yes, please...
 * And one more...
 * Dear god, let this happen! PLEASE!

Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine and comic Deadpool are different people.
Well duh! Silent Deadpool with eyeblasts and adamantium? Really? Maybe he fits the whole Super-soldier gone wrong, but that isn't good enough. No cancer, no yellow boxes, no sex.

The Deadpool spin-off movie will take place after the Wolverine: Origins movie
Duh. I just happen to have a very specific view of how it will work. DP's twitching body, as it tumbles down the nuclear volcano, will reflexively teleport. He de-port with his body together and he heal and revives. He then cuts open his mouth and spend sometime keeping it open so the lips heal and he flap his gums without problem. Now as the ugly freak he is, he puts on the mask and suit we all know and love today, now with added eye beams, sword claws and Cable-free teleporting. Which is a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. He probably also has whats-his-face's super shooty power too.
 * Alternatively, something causes the port to mess up, and he finds himself with only his healing factor, teleportation and a pair of broken Adamantium blades which he converts to katana, and goes on to be the Deadpool we all love. Unknown to him, the adamantium skeleton, eye beams and who knows what other powers got teleported to a different location, attached to just enough flesh to regenerate into a second Wade Wilson, who decided to call himself T.Ray- each are convinced they are the original Wilson, Hilarity Ensues.

The Deadpool in the comics has the same powers as the Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
He considers them his greatest failure and refuses to use them much like Batman refuses to use guns. Acknowledging his powers is one of the few ways to get Deadpool to angst.

Deadpool will get mixed up with the Aesir in the sequel to Origins: Wolverine.
They think he's Loki because he's Made of Iron, has a healing factor, and has a smart mouth that got sewn shut (for a given value of sewn).

Movie!Deadpool's appearance and at least some of his powers were an illusion.
Remember, Stryker says that his son's genes were "the first piece of the puzzle" in creating Weapon XI. He only looked that way because Stryker had "programmed" him to project that image specifically to creep Logan out; his powers were likewise exaggerated for psychological effect. The cooling tower was either destroyed by Logan's own claws, or not destroyed at all and the last few scenes of the film were all a projection from Deadpool's still-functioning brain.

Movie!Deadpool is not really Deadpool but Headpool before his decapitation.
Exactly what it says on the tin!

Movie Deadpool is his larval state.
Shortly after taking his head back, he'll start shedding powers, all until all he's left with is his healing factor, advanced reflexes, teleportation, and shapeshifting (All powers he has canonically had consistently in one way or another.) However losing his excessive powers will carry a cost. For every power, he loses a little bit of sanity until finally his baraka blades fall off and the agonizing pain finally makes him snap. He starts believing truly that he is just another character in a movie. Though being Deadpool, he decides that being a murderer, psycopath, and mercenary for someone else's entertainment isn't so bad, he wants in on the joke and will talk to the fans to involve himself and them into each other's lives.

The reason why Deadpool appeared in X-Men Origins: Wolverine was to be portrayed by Ryan Reynolds.
It was part of his contract.

Which is awesome, by the way.

Movie Deadpool will still think he's in a comic book.
That, or his first line will be "Aw, shit, I'm in a movie now?", followed by intentionally going back to using the Comic Book Tropes that can work in moving pictures. Either way, he will refer to his closed-captioned thoughts (a la the Scott Pilgrim movie or a Pop Up Video) as "little yellow text boxes".

The Deadpool movie, which is set to release in 2012, will bring about the end of the world
The sheer awesomeness of Deadpool on the big screen in his own movie will be too much for the universe to handle, and will destroy everything.

My solo movie will consist entirely of what would be the Hilarious Outtakes in any other movie
.

My solo movie will begin with me killing Dudepeel

 * I can hope can't I?

The Wolverine Movie was the start of Deadpool, not the end
Of course Wolverine's powers were put into Deadpool, even his regeneration ability. He can not die, that's why when his head was disconected his lasers still worked. At some point, someone will find the severed Deadpool head and connect it to the body. At which point his legend will be restarted and all Hell will break loose.

Barakapool will be the movie version of Agent X
A scarred Deadpool lookalike that's supposed to emulate Deadpool but nobody likes? Sure, why not! He will meet the actual Deadpool, and they will hate each other.

The sequel to the Deadpool movie...

 * Will have Cable in it as an antagonist who I'm forced to team up with. We fight crime! And it will end with us on a beach and me asking if he has any suntan lotion...
 * Will have the story-arc-thingy where I'm supposed to be the messiah who kills the evil thing to stop it from killing the good thing except the good thing turns out to be evil and I kick Captain America in the balls.

Why in the name of Bea do all you people keep talking about me like I'm not in the room?!

 * Because it's funny.
 * We didn't see you there.
 * You were babbling about something unrelated so we were ignoring you.
 * Nate told us to.
 * Uh...chocolate milk? *Shifty eyes*
 * No you're not, you just think you are.