No, You

"No You? The Chinese comedian?"

- Krusty the Clown

Describe No, You here.

Your face is describing No, You here!

The act of replying to an insult by simply saying "No, you!" or something similar, meaning that said insult applied more to the person giving it than the person receiving it.

Omnipresent in schools, especially middle to high schools.

On the internet (where it's invariably written as "NO U" and frequently accompanied by an Image Macro of an Asian man pointing and shouting), it is used as a sarcastic way of pointing out that a Troll's comments apply more to himself and is therefore a Hypocrite and idiot (i.e. to troll trolls). It may also be done by people who particularly don't care for the person's attempt in riling them up and use "NO U" as a sarcastic retort to the taunting.

Similar comebacks:
 * "I know you are, but what am I?"
 * The childhood classic, "I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"
 * "You are the one who is X!" and its variant, "It is you who is X!"
 * "Your Mom/Your face/Your ass is X!"

See also You!. Lame Comeback, I Will Show You X and Verb This.

Anime and Manga
"Vegeta: You should be impressed. Very few are willing to train as intensely as I have for this kind of power! Android 18: How sad, to work so hard...for so little. Vegeta: Sad FOR YOU!"
 * Dragon Ball Z: Vegeta, during the losing half of his fight with Android 18:


 * Death Note: When L calls him "evil" in a televised broadcast Light begins shouting a loud Motive Rant at his television which concludes with those who oppose the God of the New World (him)... "are the ones who are truly evil!"

Comics

 * Scott Pilgrim aspires to this trope. Unfortunately, his comebacks are generally even lamer.

Film

 * Used in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: "YOU are the ones who are the ball-lickers!"
 * In In Bruges: "It's an inanimate fucking object!" "YOU'RE an inanimate fucking object!"
 * In Revenge of the Sith, after Mace Windu tells Palpatine he has lost, Sidious delivers this eloquent rebuttal.
 * Later, in Return of the Jedi, when Luke told Palpatine he was mistaken to think the Empire would defeat the Rebellion, Palpatine answered, "You will find, young Skywalker, it is you who are mistaken. About a great. Many. Things."
 * "I know you are, but what am I?!"
 * "You wear a jacket."

Live Action TV
"May: [to Hammond] You look like a gay cowboy and [to Clarkson] you look like a gay terrorist. Clarkson: No, you look like a terrorist with a broken windscreen wiper and your face is ridiculous."
 * Whilst in Africa for an epic road trip, the Top Gear boys put on some local clothing to protect themselves from the dust, and mockery ensues:


 * Doctor Who, "The War Games": When the animosity  finally comes to a head, the   confronts the other and makes a speech ending with "What a stupid fool you are." The   responds by playing a recording that proves the   has committed treason, and makes a speech (in his strange line delivery) ending with "What! A stupid! Foooool YOU are!"

Music

 * "The Dumb Song" by Psychostick "Hey Murph, yer dumb!" "No yer dumb!" "No yer dumb!"...
 * The parody song "Metal By Numbers" has a dad and son arguing in the video, with the line "You're the news!".

Theater
"Viscount De Valvert: Base scoundrel! Rascally flat-footed lout! Cyrano: (taking off his hat, and bowing as if the viscount had introduced himself) Ah? And I, Cyrano Savinien Hercule de Bergerac."
 * In the first act of Cyrano De Bergerac:


 * In Drood one character responds to "You're next to an idiot!" with "Why, so I am, pleased to meet you!"

Video Games
"Saddler: Perhaps you are disillusioned with overconfidence just because you killed my small-time subordinate? Leon: Saddler... you're small-time."
 * In King's Quest Mask of Eternity, Connor's standard reply to death threats is along these lines.
 * Neverwinter Nights 2: ''Mask of the Betrayer" has a long "No, YOU don't make sense" conversation.
 * Resident Evil 4:

"Rasputin: No,you will bite ME."
 * It should be noted that on certain Image Boards, the lameness of this comeback has undergone such a Memetic Mutation that it is in fact now a grievous insult.
 * Shadow Hearts 2:

"Blue: This river's gonna turn red with your blood! Guy: How interesting... but it's going to be your blood, not mine!"
 * Considering who's talking, this may also cross over with another joke.
 * In The Secret of Monkey Island, you can use one of these in the insult fighting contests. Obviously, it doesn't work.
 * This prime example from the late 80's So Bad It's Good shooter Last Alert:

"Rick: Yeah? Well fuck you. Dr. West: No, Rick. Fuck you."
 * Sonic Adventure 2 Faker? I think YOU'RE the fake hedgehog around here!
 * This conversation in the Splatterhouse remake.

"Byrne: His [ Malladus's] resurrection will soon be complete... And I can't let you cause any more harm. Zelda: Hey, that's what we were going to say! Well... Maybe WE won't let YOU cause any more harm!"
 * In Spirit Tracks, when Link and Zelda finally fight Byrne:

"Desmond: (In a Joisey accent) Hey wassa-matta-you, Altaïr? Rebecca: That's racist. Desmond: YOU'RE racist!"
 * Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood:

"Snow: Lightning, STOP IT! Lightning: No, YOU stop it! Get out of my house!"
 * A monster does this in Sakura Wars 5.
 * Final Fantasy XIII:

"Shepard: You need help. Niftu Cal: YOU need help! You stand before the mightiest biotic ever!"
 * Mass Effect 2:

Web Animation, Web Comics and Web Original
"Marik: Hey, shut up [Melvin], you don't know anything about me! Bakura: Marik, he IS you. Marik: He is the gay one! Bakura: Marik, HE'S YOU! Marik: ...He is the gay one!"
 * Homestar Runner: When Strong Bad is asked to write a book about come-back jokes: "More Like You Write A Book About Come-back Jokes, NERD!!"
 * Example from Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series:

"BM: What did you think I meant every time I said I was going to burn the world? RM: Who cares? Thief: Yeah, you're a wiener. You couldn't burn a match. BM: Yeah, well... Your face... is ugly... Shut up!"
 * A very, very long version takes place in Ben And Ryan's translation of a rap battle.
 * Black Mage in Eight Bit Theater often resorts to these when insulted, such as here:

"Poggle the Lesser: You are sentenced to death by firing squad. Padmé: No, you're sentenced to death by firing squad! Poggle the Lesser: No, actually you are. Padmé: The defence rests."
 * Darths and Droids, Episode 357:

"Bobeyes: OGEE! That was! Mine! You! What! Why?! OGEE! City Face: Look, there is plenty left, strange shouty magpie, you can have some it is really quite good! Bobeyes: No! You!"
 * Gunnerkrigg Court: City Face

"Wash: You have to be the most immature soldiers I've ever met! Griff: Your face is immature."
 * Used by Master Chief in multiple occasions in Arby 'n' the Chief,
 * Red vs. Blue

"Troy: Grapefruits are bullshit! Joseph: YOU'RE BULLSHIT!"
 * Joseph Touches A Grapefruit:

Western Animation
"Protestor: Benders like this girl only use their power to oppress us! Korra: What? I'm not oppressing anyone! You're--You're oppressing yourselves! Protestor: That didn't even make sense!"
 * Avatar: The Last Airbender: "No, Fire Lord Ozai, YOU'RE Not Wearing Pants!"
 * "No! It is YOU who are going down!!"
 * "No YOU miscalculated!"
 * Coming from a very pissed off Azula, this is a rare, terrifying example.
 * And from Sequel Series The Legend of Korra:
 * In "Welcome to Republic City" Korra is not that good with the verbal wit when engaging a member of the local Muggle Power movement.

"Mako: I told you that dating a teammate was a bad idea. Bolin: You're a bad idea!"
 * In "The Spirit of Competition", an unhappy Bolin gets one, but he has the excuse of being "drunk" on his Comfort Food:

"Brit: I'll take a pack of fags. Randal: You're a fag! Brit: It's a cigarette, mate. Randal: I'm not your mate, fag!
 * A favorite of Beezy J. Heinous on Jimmy Two-Shoes, even when it has nothing to do with what's being said.
 * Used in Clerks the Animated Series by Randal, when he and Dante were on a Quik Stop exchange program in England.

Dante: No, Randal; "fag" means "cigarette." Randal: You're a cigarette!"

"News Reporter:...a question being asked by the poorly educated, with fingers far from the pulse of the community. Randal: You're poorly educated! Dante: You're talking to the television."
 * Also used in the first episode:

"Giant Douche: ...look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich. Turd Sandwich: You're a turd sandwich."
 * South Park has done this at least twice:
 * Episode 508, "Towelie": "You're a towel!"
 * "No, I'm a major executive at a publishing company telling you that your book has no chance of being published. You're a towel."
 * Episode 808, "Douche and Turd":

"Craig: HA! Told you you guys were straight!	Cartman: We're not straight! You're straight! Jason, Craig, Tweek, Token:	You're straight! Cartman:	You're straight like a freeway! Mr. Garrison:	What the hell is going on?? Cartman:	You wish you were gay, Craig! In your dreams!! Craig:	I'm not just gay, I'm a catamite. Cartman:	...So? I'm half bisexual! Mr. Garrison:	Oh, stop it!! You kids don't even know what you're talking about!! Eric, you're not half-bi!! Cartman:	I'm like, a quarter-bi. My grandpa was bi, so that makes me quarter-bi. Mr. Garrison:	WHAT??"
 * Episode 708, "South Park is Gay"

"Suzie: I thought you said you felt like a pizza! Stanley: Yeah? Well you look like a pizza!"
 * In the comic book adaptation of The Amazing Chan and The Chan Clan episode 1:

"Bart: Hey! Stop talking bad about my town, man. Shelby: Why don't you make me? Bart: I don't make trash, I burn it. Shelby: Then I guess you're a garbage man. Bart: Well, I know you are, but what am I? Shelby: A garbage man. Bart: I know you are, but what am I? Shelby: A garbage man. Bart: I know you are, but what am I? Shelby: A garbage man. Bart: Takes one to know one! Database: Checkmate!"
 * From The Simpsons: "You're a bread compartment!"
 * "You're gay for Moleman." Of course, no one is gay for Moleman.
 * "Lemon of Troy"

"Lisa: Bart, that's tonight's dinner! Bart: You're tonight's dinner! Lisa: Mom! Bart took what I said and turned it into an insult!"
 * In Screaming Yellow Honkers, when Bart is dancing around wearing a frozen chicken for pants:

"Ron: Wait, wait, wait! Wrestling is more than two guys beating on each other! It's also a war of words. Pain King: You are going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Pain King: No, you're going down! Steel Toe: No, you're going down! Kim: Yeah, they're poets."
 * From Kim Possible, "Pain King vs. Cleopatra":

"Kim: You know what I really hate? Shego: That your date melted? Kim: Nah. You. (Kim kicks Shego into a signal tower.)"
 * A much more serious version appears at the climax of The Movie, when Kim has been pushed too far to bother with her usual banter with her nemesis:

"Moredecai: Dude, quit it, you're gonna break it! Rigby: No, you're gonna break it!"
 * In Justice League's first season, the team finally manages to bring down Luthor once and for all by pulling a sting using the Martian Manhunter's shapeshifting abilities. After the ruse is revealed and the evidence has been gathered, Manhunter remarks "It's the end of an era," to which Luthor replies "The end of your era, maybe" before attempting to kill them.
 * Regular Show, when the two are pretending to be astronauts.

"Candace: *trying to hack into the Fireside Girls website* You have exceeded your log in attempts? No, you've exceeded YOUR log in attempts!"
 * Phineas and Ferb, the Fireside Girl Jamboree

"Fei Long: Look at you! You've neglected you're training, and turned against all of your friends! Ken: And YOU! You're a loser!"
 * Infamously from the American street fighter cartoon.

"Howard: Betty a thief?! That's an absurd proposition! Stu: YOU'RE AN ABSURD PROPOSITION!"
 * Done in Rugrats as well.

NO U!