Teen Witch (film)

Teen Wolf came out in 1985 as a fun, relatively harmless comedy film, but it mostly catered to boys. Why not have a version that approached the other market? But we obviously can't have a teen girl running around as a beastly werewolf. So let's make her a Cute Witch, instead!

Teen Witch is a 1989 film that began life as the above scenario, but eventually diverged enough during production to gain an identity of its own. It's the story of Louise Miller, a shy high school student, who one night discovers -- with the help of a Fortune Teller, Madame Serena -- that she is a reincarnated witch whose powers will manifest on her (Not So) Dangerous Sixteenth Birthday. Serena then provides Louise with a Spell Book to practice her powers. With them, she hopes to overcome her unpopularity, date the guy of her dreams, and maybe even help out her friends with their own problems. But is it all worth it in the end?

The Nostalgia Chick reviewed the film here.

"Nostalgia Chick: Oh my god, he's got glasses!"
 * Actor Allusion: Dick Sargent as Louise's dad.
 * Alpha Bitch: Almost all of the cheerleaders.
 * Annoying Younger Sibling: Louise's brother...
 * Baleful Polymorph: Louise accidentally turns her brother into a dog. Via a case of "I'm rubber, you're glue".
 * Big Man on Campus: Brad.
 * Boastful Rap: By a trio of white boys, no less. Top that!
 * Can Not Tell a Lie: The cheerleaders' payback.
 * The Eighties: Ohhhh, yes.
 * Elemental Powers: The very first spells Louise tries, affect the weather, bringing rain and winds.
 * Exact Words: Louise's powers tend to manifest very literally. There's the above trope, and later, she uses the classic theater luck-wishing phrase "Break a leg" to her friend Kiki.
 * Familiar: An interesting case, because it's an object rather than an animal. Louise is given an ancient medallion by her theater arts teacher which Serena tells her is a symbol of her powers which will follow her through each lifetime.
 * Hollywood Nerd: Louise's first date is a virtual duplicate of Buddy Holly.

"Teacher: Can anyone tell me what this might represent?  Student: A roger. A loved one. Joystick. Dong. Zipper lizard, tallywhacker, trouser snake, schlong--"
 * Humiliation Conga: What's some of the first things for which Louise uses her magic? Getting back at her teachers and classmates, of course.
 * I Just Want to Be Special
 * IKEA Erotica: "He pressed his lips against mine, but he didn't stop there. Soon, every inch of my body was covered with Brad's kisses. Who would believe tonight, I was totally his."
 * Kryptonite Factor: Water reverses the effects of Louise's spells.
 * Left the Background Music On/Diegetic Switch: A strange combination. After the popularity spell, Louise starts to step outside, but suddenly hears a bass beat start up in the soundtrack and shuts the door in surprise, making the song stop. She then shrugs it off and continues outside, and the song resumes.
 * Loners Are Evil: Inverted to an embarrassing degree. As the movie was apparently targeted at high school outcasts, it's the popular people who are Complete Monsters stuffed with straw.
 * Long List: During a sex education class:


 * Love Potion: Louise initially wants to get Brad this way, but she can't bring herself to force him to love her.
 * No Antagonist: "So, the film is basically, 'Louise Does Stuff for 90 Minutes'."
 * Well, her antagonist for the first part of the film is sort of "high school", which was not an uncommon theme for the eighties.
 * No Celebrities Were Harmed: In-universe pop star Shana is basically Madonna.
 * Pretty Fly for a White Guy: The aforementioned trio of white rappers. Period, exclamation mark, full stop.
 * Sadist Teacher: Mr. Weaver delights in embarrassing his students.
 * Shallow Love Interest: Brad.
 * She Cleans Up Nicely: Louise post-popularity spell.
 * Single Girl Seeks Most Popular Guy
 * Unintentional Period Piece: The opening credits let you know exactly what era you're in for (despite being entirely the wrong genre). The movie doesn't really stop the full-out eighties blitz from there.
 * Voodoo Doll: Mr. Weaver's payback.
 * We Used to Be Friends: As Louise moves up in popularity, she leaves aside her old friend Polly, who naturally resents this treatment.
 * Though really, Polly's the one being the bitch here. Louise doesn't treat her any differently or shun her, but Polly almost instantly develops a seething resentment of Louise for being popular now and treats her like a monster.
 * Wish Fulfillment: Aesop? What Aesop?
 * With Great Power Comes Great Perks