Give a Man a Fish

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

A Stock Aesop and Stock Phrase. By now, parodied or twisted at least as often as used straight.

Anime and Manga
""If you teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you give him a fish he'll just eat a bunch of fish!""
 * Used incorrectly in Negima? (dub) by Asuna while fishing.

Literature

 * In the Discworld novel Jingo: "Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."

Live-Action TV
""Take a man to Kabooming, and he Kabooms. Teach a man to Kaboom, and KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM!!""
 * Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard."
 * Also in Parks and Recreation, the leader of the "Kaboom" playground-building team:


 * Arrested Development: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish..." "... and he'll want to use your yacht, and I don't want this thing smelling like fish."

Newspaper Comics

 * Dilbert: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will buy a silly hat. And if you talk to hungry people about fishing, you are a consultant."
 * Jason Love's Snapshots: the Robin Hood cartoon.

Stand-Up Comedy

 * Some comedienne gave us the salesman's version: "Give a man a fish, and that man knows where to come for fish. Teach a man to fish, and you've just destroyed your market base. What the hell is wrong with you?"
 * Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in your boat and drink all your beer.

Video Games
""You should have given him a sword! Give a man a fish and he feeds himself for a day. Give a man a sword, and he can chow down on the meaty marrow of evil!""
 * As said by Minsc in Baldur's Gate, after giving money to a beggar:

Web Comics
"Maxim 21: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow."
 * Schlock Mercenary: Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries.

"Belkar: Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime!"
 * The alt-text of this xkcd says "Give a man a fish, or he will destroy the only remaining vial of antidote."
 * The Order of the Stick here. The title of that day's strip is, "Technically, the 'Fish' Version is a Subset of This One."


 * This El Goonish Shive B-Side Comics strip.
 * Chuckle-A-Duck version: "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, frustrate him forever."
 * Rock, Paper, Cynic version: "Teach a man how to fish, but only with your rod, get half of his fish for life."
 * Pain Train has one about prerequisites and a variation on more mythological side.

Web Original
"Hit a man over the head and you drive him bonkers for a day. Teach a man to hit others over the head and he’ll try to run a country."
 * There's an unusual twist on one floating around the internet: "Give a fish a fish, and you introduce the concept of slavery to an entire species. Teach a fish to fish, and you make him a mythical, nightmarish murderer feared by his own kind."
 * Or, "give a man a fish, and make it illegal to teach fishing".
 * There's another version, source also unknown, although somewhat well-spread across the internet, that goes like this: "Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will dragnet the bottom of the ocean floor, dump 90% of what he catches as unmarketable, pollute the skies with greasy black smoke from his fish canning factories, wipe out the various species of fish that he has been exploiting, devastate the ecosystem, process his dead into Soylent Green, fall into a deadly downward spiral of food-riots and warfare, blow up the planet, and be succeeded on the top of the food-chain by cockroaches."
 * An observation from Ed Greenwood: