Your Vampires Suck/Quotes

"Well, you can still be destroyed, but forget the books and the movies. Garlic? It's worthless. Cross? Pfft... shove it right up their asses. A stake? Only if it catches you in the heart, and then it just paralyzes you. Running water? Ah, that's no problem. I bathe... O-occasionally."

- Smiling Jack, Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines

"You listen to me, Twilight - My god, is that really the name you picked? Twilight? Y'know I lived that idea first, right? (And my vampire was so much better.)"

- Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #33

"Bela Lugosi's dead, and so am I. But what's left of Bela is rotting in a pine coffin somewhere, while I have the opportunity to sit here on the balcony, enjoy my drink, and look at you. Correct me if I am presumptuous, but I suspect I have the better end of the deal."

- Opening to Vampire: The Masquerade sourcebook

"Oh God, I'm Pattinson!"

- Dean, Supernatural, "Live Free or Twi-Hard"

"Edward: (There's a knock at the door) Hold on. (goes to the door) Who is it?

Alucard: Oh, you know. (Shoots Edward about a hundred times through the door) A REAL fucking vampire!"

- Hellsing Abridged, by Team Four Star

"But a real vampire would have a hunch To never fall in love with your high school lunch!"

- Voltaire (band)