Shadow of the Templar

A brilliant young FBI agent. An unpredictable international art thief. What happens next is quite possibly not what you'd expect.

Shadow of the Templar is a 4-novel webseries about Simon Drake, an esteemed FBI agent, and his special ops team of highly talented but semi-crazy people. Together, they fight crime. When they're not pulling pranks on each other or spewing Double Entendres left and right, that is.

It is also about what happens after one particular case causes Simon's path to intersect with that of Jeremy Archer, a professional thief wanted on almost every continent for hundreds of thefts. No one has managed to catch him yet, and Simon is determined to be the one who does.

Things get a tad more complicated when Simon and Jeremy discover that they'd like to know each other better in that way. With some cooperation and luck, the FBI agent and the thief might just be able to form something approaching a semi-functional relationship. If the avenging criminals hounding them and their incompetence at anything resembling emotional intimacy don't do them in, that is.

Half caper story, half unlikely romance, the series does a fine job of balancing both elements and making them come together in unexpected ways. Follow this link to read the novels in all their glory.

Now has a character page that's desperately in need of some love.

For the computer game with this subtitle, see Broken Sword.

"Simon: Gosh, Specs, those wouldn't be illegal explosives, would they? Nate: Oh, no, never in a million years. I hear they fell off the back of a truck. Simon: Which is truly the hallmark of legality."
 * Achievements in Ignorance: Dave, when he . It was a task originally given to him to, and nobody bothered to tell him either that was it was considered impossible or to stop.
 * Action Girl: Sandra.
 * Annoying Patient: In With A Bullet, a severely injured Simon is rude and obnoxious to Sandra and Jeremy when they try to help him, insisting that he doesn't need to be treated like an invalid even when he can barely stand up. After breaking his leg while chasing down Farraday before the novels begin, Simon also concussed Johnny by throwing a mug at his head. The team has never let him forget it.
 * Badass Boast: "I am a thief. In fact, I'm the best thief in the world."
 * Bait and Switch Gunshot:
 * Belligerent Sexual Tension: Just because Simon and Jeremy have sex doesn't mean that they're any good at acknowledging that there's more between them than sexual attraction. Jeremy, accustomed to concealing his emotions due to his line of work, has trouble expressing his feelings for Simon in any way other than his typical Tease routine. Even then, he's better than Simon who remains in utter denial about caring for Jeremy in the slightest or the hints Jeremy manages to show about his feelings.
 * Berserk Button: If you are not part of Simon's team, then you had best not insult anyone on Simon's team. Don't hurt anyone on Simon's team. Don't accuse anyone on Simon's team of being a traitor. . You know what, why don't you just leave Simon's team the hell alone.
 * For Bran, Jeremy's presence is enough to make him fly into a rage. And don't call him Jeremy's brother.
 * Jeremy is also Rich's Berserk Button..
 * Beta Couple: are this to the main Official Couple Simon and Jeremy, although things didn't exactly go more smoothly for them.
 * Bi the Way: Word of God says that Simon discovered his attraction to both sexes in high school and accepted it as just another part of his overall manliness. Jeremy is also bisexual, with a preference toward men.
 * Big Applesauce: The setting for the climax of Double Down.
 * Blond Guys Are Evil: Bran. In addition to his disturbing relationship with Jeremy, he's an unrepentant murderer.
 * Farraday may or may not be a natural blond, but he does bleach his hair.
 * Boisterous Bruiser: Mike, one of the team's big lifters and the loudest by a mile, especially when compared to the equally strong but more reserved Johnny.
 * British Stuffiness: Jeremy has a bit of this going on, though it isn't his main trait.
 * Bunny Ears Lawyer: Team Templar, full stop.
 * Cain and Abel: Bran, Jeremy's foster brother, hates him for being a better thief than him and stealing his perceived rightful place as his father's favorite. Unlike Jeremy, Bran is perfectly willing to kill if his plans go wrong and comes across as dangerously unstable at times. Oh, and it's strongly implied that they were in an incestuous relationship at one point.
 * Word of God confirms this.
 * Cannot Spit It Out: Simon and Jeremy, despite spending years in an exclusive Secret Relationship and risking their lives for each other multiple times, are apparently incapable of expressing their feelings for each other. Jeremy just acts like a tease, and Simon hesitates to even think of Jeremy as his friend.
 * To be fair, Jeremy does pretty much outright tell Simon that he's quite fond of him and, on one occasion, that he was actually pretty worried about him. Simon just scoffs at it and tells Jeremy that that's bullshit. So Jeremy just smiles.
 * Chekhov's Gun:
 * Chekhov's Skill:
 * CIA Evil, FBI Good: Averted. While there's a metric ton of friction and resentment, neither side is portrayed as being any better or worse than the other.
 * Con Men Hate Guns: Jeremy. Bran... notsomuch.
 * Crazy Jealous Guy: Simon shows serious shades of this in Chapter 10.5 of Double Down when he takes out his jealousy of Jeremy's ex-boyfriend on Jeremy. It's not played for laughs.
 * Dating Catwoman
 * Dissonant Serenity: Jeremy slips into this at times.
 * Double Caper: The main plot of the first book, The Morning Star.
 * Drives Like Crazy: Mike. Nate, too, though he's of the Captain Crash variety.
 * Faking the Dead: This is.
 * Fell Off the Back of a Truck: Invoked word-for-word in High Fidelity, after.
 * Fell Off the Back of a Truck: Invoked word-for-word in High Fidelity, after.

""Okay, let's get this straight: you? Are not my friend. You're just this guy.""
 * Five-Man Band: Templar's Team
 * The Hero: Simon
 * The Lancer: Sandra
 * The Big Guy: Mike/Johnny
 * The Smart Guy: Rich
 * The Chick: Nate
 * Sixth Ranger: Jeremy
 * Gentleman Thief: Jeremy steals because "nothing is more fun than doing that at which you excel" and he's a decent and likable guy otherwise. He even works as a freelance advisor to Simon's team when they need to stop more dangerous criminals.
 * Goggles Do Something Unusual: Jeremy's goggles are a marvel of technology.
 * Green-Eyed Monster: For someone who claims that his relationship with Jeremy is just sex and that there's no emotional attachment at all, Simon gets mightily pissed off and bitter when he figures out that the thief they're chasing in Double Down is Jeremy's ex-boyfriend, and he takes Jeremy's proclamation to Bran like a punch to the gut. Even after the second novel, Bran remains a sore spot with him in general. Simon is also temporarily jealous of , though that's shut down before it has much of a chance to go anywhere when Jeremy assures him that there was never anything between them. Not that Simon cared.
 * Sandra shows shades of this with.
 * Handsome Lech: Mike continually makes perverted jokes, hits on Sandra, and cracks many a gay joke with Simon (blissfully unaware of Simon's true leanings).
 * Hair-Trigger Temper: Bran, dear God. If nothing else, he can be trusted to find something to get angry over within five sentences of a conversation.
 * Hands-On Approach: Jeremy doesn't mind at all when Simon adjusts his posture for him during gun training.
 * He Is Not My Boyfriend: Variant: Jeremy only calls Simon his 'friend' in the third book, but even that's too much for Simon:

"Simon: How'd you know he wasn't serious about it? Jeremy: About what? Simon: About . How'd you know he didn't mean it? [after a short pause] Simon: You didn't know, did you. Jeremy: [...] I suppose you could say that I didn't know for certain--but I hoped."
 * Heroic BSOD: Jeremy gets one after Fortunately, Simon's able to talk him out of it.
 * Simon himself gets one when . It leads to Jeremy taking him on a road trip to New York City.
 * Heroic Safe Mode: Once he has time to process it, this is essentially Simon's reaction to, and he starts slipping into a full-on Heroic BSOD . Luckily, it switches off once he.
 * How Did You Know? I Didn't.: In High Fidelity, after spying on Jeremy, Simon asks Jeremy how Jeremy had been sure that had been bluffing about.
 * Heroic Safe Mode: Once he has time to process it, this is essentially Simon's reaction to, and he starts slipping into a full-on Heroic BSOD . Luckily, it switches off once he.
 * How Did You Know? I Didn't.: In High Fidelity, after spying on Jeremy, Simon asks Jeremy how Jeremy had been sure that had been bluffing about.

"Simon: [Rich is] a fucking genius, too, and if I hadn't told you he'd have found a way to let you know."
 * Insufferable Genius: Rich. Simon lampshades it.


 * Ironic Echo: Simon's insistence that Jeremy is "just this guy" to him.
 * I Think I Broke Him: Nate's reaction to.
 * Janitor Impersonation Infiltration: Jeremy has done this from time to time. He also theorizes that Bran did it to infiltrate one of his most recent marks.
 * Jerkass: Rich again.
 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Simon cares very much for his teammates and Jeremy; he just lacks the tact and sensitivity that would be useful for apologizing properly and knowing when he's only making people even madder. It doesn't help that, at least when it comes to Jeremy, he's kind of ridiculously Tsundere.
 * Jurisdiction Friction: Oh, hell yes, between the FBI and the CIA.
 * Killed Off for Real:
 * Last Kiss: Jeremy gives one to an oblivious Simon.
 * Love Epiphany:.
 * Married to the Job: Simon repeatedly tells Jeremy that his job is more important than him. In the end,
 * Mathematician's Answer: Simon asks about the copy-cat thief in Double Down, paraphrased, "What is this guy, your rival? Your brother? Your ex?" Jeremy is at first reluctant, but later answers, to an unspecified one of the three, "Yes." Simon is understandably irritated.
 * The Mole:
 * Moment Killer:
 * Must Have Caffeine: The coffee machine at Simon's workplace is labeled "Mrs. Simon Drake (<3)."
 * Nakama: Team Templar.
 * Not Blood Siblings: Bran and Jeremy are foster brothers -- well, Jeremy calls Bran his brother; Bran denies it vehemently -- and they were in a sexual relationship at one point.
 * Not Me This Time: At the beginning of Double Down, Templar's Team are trying to track a thief whose style is very similar to Jeremy. Though he's initially a suspect, they eventually come to this conclusion when they realize he was "allegedly" stealing something else at the time of one of the robberies. The fact that a man was murdered at the scene is what initially makes them doubt it as well.
 * One Head Taller: Simon is five inches taller than Jeremy, though they don't accurately fit the Seme/Uke mold.
 * Only Sane Agent: Sandra. Simon, too, although he's not immune to occasionally going off the rails himself.
 * Only Sane Employee: As the leader of a team of lunatics, this is essentially Simon's job description.
 * Perpetual Smiler: Jeremy, to the point that Simon even notes that Jeremy having a slight smile is basically the same as having no expression at all.
 * Prison Rape: Simon taunts Faraday with this threat in With A Bullet.
 * He also essentially threatens Jeremy with it in The Morning Star when Jeremy is caught red-handed with the titular diamond. Jeremy responds by telling Simon that he's been there, done that, and really, it's not that bad.
 * Pungeon Master: There is some stiff competition in Team Templar, but this title would have to go to Mike - if there is a potential Double Entendre to be found in anything said by anyone ever, he will see it, find it, and leap on it with his dick glee.
 * Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: With the exception of Sandra, Simon's team members are people who either have personality quirks that would have them killed or fired in any capacity other than working for the FBI or used to deal in less-than-scrupulous matters thanks to their talents, or both.
 * Recruiting the Criminal: Jeremy in The Morning Star and Double Down. It's inverted in High Fidelity, wherein the criminal recruits the good guys.
 * Replacement Scrappy: In-universe example. Dave is caught in the unenviable position of trying to fill the shoes of a longtime member and being the perfect target for a slew of pranks.
 * Secret Relationship:
 * Shout-Out: Simon's codename is a lampshaded reference to the Saint. "Jeremy Archer" is, according to Word of God, a reference to author Jeffrey Archer.
 * Slap Slap Kiss: in the third book, with a heavy dose of Green-Eyed Epiphany for the latter.
 * Snipe Hunt: Dave is sent on one of these when he's first placed on the team. Team Templar wants him as out of the way as possible, so they order him to . Of course, nobody bothers to tell him it's a Snipe Hunt.
 * Stepford Smiler: Jeremy, mostly when Bran's in the picture or Simon's being particularly vicious.
 * Team Chef: Mike, who weakly insists that he only learned to cook because he lives alone.
 * Team Dad: Simon. It's even lampshaded!
 * Tracking Device: Simon loves sticking these on Jeremy at every opportunity..
 * Tranquil Fury: Sandra, a lot of the time, and most of the team is wary of it. And as it turns out, when he finally loses his temper, is just as scary (if not more so) and perfectly capable of matching her glare-for-glare without backing down an inch. Everyone else is smart enough to stay quiet and make no sudden movements.
 * Tsundere: Simon, a textbook Type A. "Hot and cold" doesn't begin to cover it.
 * Twitchy Eye: Jeremy gets this when he lies or becomes very agitated, which, naturally, Simon uses to his advantage when he figures it out.
 * Unspoken Plan Guarantee: All of Simon and Jeremy's plans are outlined to some extent in the text, but the two most thoroughly detailed ones (the plan to and the one to  inevitably have one overlooked detail that screws up, or almost screws them up.
 * Working with the Ex: Sandra and Simon used to be an item, though that's long since over and water under the bridge by the time the novels begin. In High Fidelity, there's.
 * You Just Told Me: Sandra develops a strong suspicion about Simon and Jeremy, and finally confirms it when