John Wells/Funny

Who says spy novel can't be funny?

"Shafer: Now's really not the time, John. Wells: Funny, Ellis."
 * After the climactic fight in Midnight House, Wells checks himself in the bathroom, finding his testicles swollen. Shafer walks in right when he pokes his testicles.

"The OPFOR, opposing force, was probably not AQAP—Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula. No, the OPFOR was UNK, unknown. But it appeared HT/HC, highly trained and capable. The SIM, Saudi Interior Ministry, had not asked for TECH/LOG, technical or logistical help. The CIA and NSA judged that the SIM was not close to catching the OPFOR. The reports made Kurland’s HH, head hurt."
 * Read this:

"Op leader: What do you think? Really hot Paki porn. They have hot porn? No. That’s why it’s so special. Horse porn. Horse-dog porn. A horse doing a dog? That’s just sick. Where do you get that, Task?"
 * Midnight House. CIA ops had just retrieved a secret laptop of Pakistani terrorist. This conversation ensues as they boot it up.

"The job was becoming stranger by the day, Wells thought. Arrested, or not quite arrested, by the director of national intelligence for a mission they were carrying out on behalf of the director of central intelligence. Wells: We should go to Congress. Tell them they need to appoint a director of planetary intelligence to sort this out. Shafer: Why stop there? I was thinking galactic. Wells: Universal."
 * Also, in Midnight House. Wells and Shafer get caught in some agency turf-war snafu.

"Shafer: Brant Murphy. Brant F. Murphy. Know what the F stands for?
 * Midnight House again. This one, when Shafer and John have their investigation pinned and stuck at an Obstructive Bureaucrat.

Wells: I can guess.

Shafer: This guy's like a bad dream. Everywhere we turn.

Wells: Ellis. You said you don't believe in big conspiracies.

Shafer: I'm starting to.

Wells: Me, too."


 * Secret Soldier. While investigating a jihadi safehouse, Wells finds a Victoria Secret catalogue, "the saddest piece of not-quite-pornography he had ever seen."