Sweeps/Quotes

"‘Course, me having that luggage is a major scoop because, right now, we’re in the thick of what we in the tv biz call “sweeps,” when broadcasters pull out all of the stops to boost ratings. Over the years, they’ve tried everything from adorable animals, to on-air colonoscopies, to lesbian kisses, to Neil Cavuto’s topless week. Now folks as a broadcast journalist, I believe these are just cheap publicity stunts, and, so do these lesbian puppies."

- Stephen Colbert