The Apartment/Funny

"Fran: What's a tennis racket doing in the kitchen? Baxter: Tennis racket? Oh, I remember, I was cooking myself an Italian dinner. Fran: (Fran looks confused) Baxter: I use it to strain the spaghetti."
 * Learning to cook with a tennis racket, it's simply a must!

"Dr. Dreyfuss: Mildred! He's at it again."
 * Dr. Dreyfuss upon entering his apartment, he suddenly hears loud music starting from next door.

"Baxter: I know how you feel, Miss Kubelik. You think it's the end of the world, but it's not, really. I went through exactly the same thing myself. Ms. Kubelik: You did? Baxter: Well, maybe not exactly. I tried to do it with a gun. Ms. Kubelik: Over a girl? Baxter: Worse than that, she was the wife of my best friend, and I was mad for her. But I knew it was hopeless so I decided to end it all. I went to a pawnshop and bought a forty-five automatic and drove up to Eden Park. Do you know Cincinnati? Ms. Kubelik: No, I don't. Baxter: Anyway, I parked the car and loaded the gun, well, you read in the papers all the time that people shoot themselves, but believe me, it's not that easy - I mean, how do you do it? Here, or here, or here (with cocked finger, he points to his temple, mouth and chest) Baxter: You know where I finally shot myself? Ms. Kubelik: Where? Baxter: (indicating kneecap) Here. Ms. Kubelik: In the knee? Baxter: Uh-huh. While I was sitting there, trying to make my mind up, a cop stuck his head in the car, because I was illegally parked - so I started to hide the gun under the seat and it went off - POW! Ms. Kubelik: (laughing) That's terrible. Baxter: Yeah. Took me a year before I could bend my knee... but I got over the girl in three weeks. She still lives in Cincinnati, has four kids, gained twenty pounds... she sends me a fruit cake every Christmas."
 * I personally loved the scene where Baxter tells Ms. Kubelik about his old crush, attempted suicide, and why he gets a fruit cake every christmas.

"C.C. Baxter: You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you. Fran: Shut up and deal..."
 * The last lines, also a moment of heartwarming.