Star Trek: The Next Generation/Recap/S5/E20 Cost of Living

Series: Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode: Season 5, Episode 20 Title: Cost Of Living Previous: The First Duty Next: The Perfect Mate Recapper: Scooter 007

Photon torpedoes armed! FIRE! An asteroid is about to Colony Drop onto a nearby planet but, thanks to some judiciously Applied Phlebotinum the Enterprise averts the disaster. Well done, everyone; off to the next mission! Only, on the way out of orbit, the ship picks up a bit of sparkly space dust.

Hey, look who's back! It's none other than Lwaxana Troi, Deanna's Plucky Comic Relief mother! And she has a big announcement: she's engaged! Seems Mrs. Troi met some highly important dude, name of Campio, on the 24th Century equivalent to Match.com and, still in the Betazoid "Phase" (essentially a mid-life sexual crisis) agreed to marry him. Picard agrees to hold the wedding aboard ship only when told that he gets to "give away Mrs. Troi!" Meanwhile, that sparkly dust is spreading through the ship...

Mrs. Troi also strikes up an Intergenerational Friendship with Worf's son Alexander, who is having discipline problems and who, at Counsellor Troi's suggestion, has entered into a "contract" with Worf to establish ground rules. Mrs. Troi sides with the boy on this issue, earning his trust but annoying everyone else in the process. For her part, Mrs. Troi seems to be deliberately trying to undermine their attempts to teach Alexander responsibility, but she sees it as teaching him to be a Blithe Spirit like herself and to enjoy life. To that end she takes him to a Holodeck representation of Paralax Colony, a whole camp of free spirits -- except for one Comically Serious dude who spouts Ice Cream Koans in a ridiculously dire tone:

"Comically Serious Dude: Remember... "The higher, the fewer!" Mrs. Troi: Now there's a conversation stopper if ever I heard one."

This gives Alexander an idea, and he runs up to a perpetually arguing couple (whom they had met a minute prior) and grinds their argument to a halt by interjecting said "conversation stopper" -- an action which pleases Mrs. Troi. Also, during a mudbath, they tell Alexander that each person has a host of little people inside their heads, telling you what you should do (ah, so they still have Herman's Head reruns in the future) and you should never be afraid to listen to them.

In the meantime, Mrs. Troi admits to Deanna that she hasn't even met the man she's about to marry; but their online profiles are just so perfect together! Deanna is further aghast that her mother won't follow the Betazoid tradition of going nude at the ceremony, seeing as how Campio is from a Planet of Prudes. It isn't like Mrs. Troi to subvert her own wishes and inclinations in deference to what others might think, but Mrs. Troi insists that everything is fine... except for the mug of sausage she gets from the food replicator instead of tea.

The replicator malfunction, it turns out, is not just a random incident; systems all over the ship are beginning to fall apart. In the course of investigating, LaForge and Data are bathed in a slimy goo (the first time this recapper saw the episode he shouted "Parasite Poop!" and he was right). The goo is actually the waste product from an unseen life form (the sparkly dust) eating metals out of the ship's systems.

As the crew works on this problem, Mrs. Troi is having troubles with the truly hideous wedding dress Campio will have her wear. Alexander comes in to chat, and over the course of their visit Lwaxana reveals the real reason she's so quick to marry. She may or may not still be under the sexual effects of Betazoid Phase, but one thing is certain: she is desperately lonely in her old age.

"Mrs. Troi: I'm all alone, Alex... and when you do get older, sometimes you can't pick and choose from whoever might come your way."

Now famed uber-prude Campio arrives (Hey, It's The Voice Of Megabyte!), and he (and especially his hyperprotective aide) are completely unprepared for Mrs. Troi's free-wheeling-ness. Mrs. Troi, in turn, is clearly unimpressed with this stuffed shirt and ducks out of her own wedding-plan-a-thon to have a playdate with Alexander (who ditches his dinner hour by delivering his "conversation stopper" to Worf). On their playdate, Alexander intuits Mrs. Troi's lack of enthusiasm for the upcoming nuptials and reiterates the Herman's Head theory, which Mrs. Troi quickly shoots down -- and is just as quickly apologetic, realizing that he is in fact entirely correct.

Back over to the minor plot, where Enterprise is still suffering systemic failures all over, including life support and engines. But they've found an Asteroid Thicket rich in metals, and Data manages to lure the sparkly dust creature over to the asteroids and out of the ship -- after which everything starts working again.

On to the wedding! Naturally, Mrs. Troi is late to her own wedding; but when she finally does arrive, we see why: She has arrived in the full buff. Deanna and Alexander especially are quite pleased by this, but Campio and his aide are horrified by the lack of decorum and flee. (Well, the aide is horrified, Campio just can't stop staring.)

And so the day is saved. Mrs. Troi taught Alexander how to enjoy life; and Alexander, in turn, taught Mrs. Troi that there's never a time when you must stop enjoying life. And Worf takes a mudbath.


 * Talking To Herself: Majel Barrett played both Lwaxana Troi and the Enterprise Computer, who interact in this episode. Apparently this is the only time in Star Trek history where this happens.