Amsterdamned



"Somewhere, somewhere in the black night Shining eyes follow your stride..."

- "Amsterdamned" by Lois Lane

Amsterdamned is a 1988 Dutch horror thriller film by Dick Maas (The Lift, Flodder).

The film is set in the eponymous (damned!) capital, where a Serial Killer wearing a scuba gear is prowling in the city canals and uses them to get to his victims.

""You used excessive force, and you ruined my cake!""
 * Eighties Hair
 * Absolute Cleavage: Laura's date wear.
 * Absurdly Spacious Sewer: Eric chases the killer into one.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: "He's in the john, I expect that he's masturbating."
 * Alone with the Psycho
 * Animal Reaction Shot: From a cat, during the raft attack.
 * Ankle Drag: Happens to the second environmentalist.
 * Ate His Gun:.
 * Attempted Rape: A taxi driver tries to force the prostitute he's accompanying to perform oral sex on him. Unfortunately for him, she bites.
 * Badass: Eric.
 * Bald of Evil: The killer.
 * Big Damn Heroes: Eric and Vermeer arriving just as Laura is about to be dragged under by the killer.
 * Blood Is Squicker in Water
 * Blood-Splattered Innocents: The prostitute's body is hung from a bridge, and ends up entering a tour boat filled with (among other types) young children and nuns.
 * Bow Ties Are Cool: Willy.
 * Bus Full of Innocents: Appear throughout the boat chase.
 * Butt Monkey: Vermeer.
 * Carry a Big Stick: When she thinks he's the killer, Laura beats Martin with a boat oar.
 * Chase Scene: Two; the first one has the police chasing a suspect on a motorcycle, and the second one has Eric chase the actual killer on boats they commandeer.
 * The Coroner: Sam.
 * Covers Always Lie: One makes it look kind of like an alien invasion film.
 * Crazy Homeless People: The bag lady.
 * Daylight Horror: The raft victim and John's deaths.
 * Disposable Sex Worker: The first victim.
 * Disturbed Doves: Or ducks, in this case.
 * Driven to Suicide:.
 * The Drunken Sailor: One of the victims.
 * Epic Fail: The main suspect tries to jump an opening bridge on his motorcycle, and fails rather badly.
 * Everyone Is a Suspect
 * Evil Overlooker
 * Eye Scream: "Her eyes were already fish food." And there's also something wrong with one of the sailor victim's eye.
 * Facial Horror: When the killer's face is finally revealed, it's pretty fucked up.
 * Fan Disservice: The prostitute's naked, mutilated body.
 * Fan Service with a Smile
 * Fight Scene: An underwater one, between John and the killer.
 * Friend to Psychos:, though rather unknowingly.
 * Good Colors, Evil Colors: The killer's gear is black, and he steals a black speedboat, while John's gear is yellow, and Eric chases after the killer's boat with a yellow one.
 * Good Cop, Bad Cop: Vermeer and Eric, respectively.
 * Gory Discretion Shot: The killer.
 * Gratuitous English
 * Grimy Water
 * Grievous Bottley Harm: The main suspect lost his job when, in a drunken rage, he attacked someone with a broken bottle.
 * Groin Attack: The taxi driver getting bit, and the raft victim getting knifed.
 * Hair of Gold: Laura.
 * Harpoon Gun: Vermeer gets shot in the arm with one, while Eric sustains a shot to the shoulder a bit later..
 * Hazardous Water
 * Hope Spot: The second environmentalist swims to shore and flags down a passing truck, but is dragged underwater before help can reach him.
 * Hostile Weather: It suddenly becomes stormy during the finale.
 * I Know Karate: "No reason to be afraid, I do judo."
 * Impending Doom POV: The opening.
 * Jerkass: The taxi driver, and the suspect.
 * Kid Detective: Anneke and Willy.
 * Knife Nut
 * Little Miss Snarker: Anneke.
 * Lock and Load Montage: The killer gets one.
 * Malevolent Masked Men
 * Man Bites Man: The first victim deals with the taxi driver trying to force her to perform fellatio on him via biting.
 * Mirror Scare
 * Moe Greene Special: Eric manages to shoot the killer right in the diving goggles.
 * Mr. Exposition: Martin.
 * Murderer POV
 * Nerd Glasses: Willy.
 * No Name Given: Most of the victims, and the killer.
 * Obstructive Bureaucrat: The mayor.
 * Off with His Head: The first environmentalist's death.
 * Once Is Not Enough: Averted.
 * One Word Title
 * Peek-a-Boo Corpse: After his buddy disappears from their boat, the second enviromentalist pulls in the anchor, and discovers his friend's head impaled on it. Later on, John is scared when a dead sailor pops out of a closet while he is exploring a sunken ship.
 * Perma-Stubble: Eric.
 * Perp Sweating
 * Pie in the Face: Eric stops a bakery robbery by handcuffing the robber, and slamming his face into a cake. It is evidently delicious.
 * Pipe Pain: While doing her own little investigation with Willy, Anneke grabs one.
 * Portmantitle
 * Ramp Jump: With boats!
 * Red Herring: The most prominent one being.
 * Scenery Porn
 * The Scourge of God: The Salvationist died after stealing some money.
 * Scream Discretion Shot: The raft victim getting knifed between the legs.
 * Seers: Willy claims to be one.
 * Serrated Blade of Pain: "He used a similar instrument, but the knife was another type. One important difference is it had a serrated edge."
 * Serial Killer
 * Shirtless Scene: Eric.
 * The Shrink: Martin.
 * Slashed Throat: John's death.
 * Spiteful Spit: While being interrogated, a suspect spits in Eric's face.
 * Spooky Seance: Held by Willy.
 * Stealing From the Till: A Salvationist pockets some of the donations she's collected.
 * Stranger Behind the Mask: The killer is.
 * Stuff Blowing Up: The killer crashes his own boat into another, resulting in a fiery explosion.
 * Tears of Blood: When the sailor's dead body is found, blood appears to be leaking from one of his eyes.
 * Ungrateful Bastard: The bakery owner.


 * Vader Breath
 * The Voiceless: The killer.