So Bad It's Horrible/Fan Works/Fanfic Q-T

Important Note: Merely being offensive in its subject matter is not enough to justify a work as So Bad It's Horrible. Hard as it is to imagine at times, there is a market for all types of deviancy (no matter how small a niche it is). It has to fail to appeal even to that niche to qualify as this. Any descriptions that fail to imply anything but offensiveness will be deleted.


 * The Rangers Of NIMH. MSTed here. (crossover)
 * Fandom: a Rescue Rangers/The Secret of NIMH (film version) Crossover, more or less. The Rescuers, Pinky and The Brain, and Gargoyles (or at least Xanatos) are also in there.
 * Pairing: Gadget/Johnathan Brisby, a Marty Stu
 * Synopsis: The Rescue Rangers investigate some break-ins at the local hospital, determining that Nimnul has stolen files which are assumed to involve rats. Justin is in the city sewer where the rats of NIMH have moved, sitting in a chair and mulling over their failure. Johnathan Brisby, a thinly-veiled self-insert/mouse wearing a ruby locket who is more banal than he should be, is introduced and becomes the go-between between the two groups - though he's reluctant when he tells the rangers he's descended from Jonathon Brisby of NIMH. He and Gadget are attracted to each other immediately, and Gadget accidentally activates the locket by touching it. (Nothing happens, and Johnathon shuts it back off.) Gadget herself may have a secret connection to NIMH.
 * Comments: Regarded by many as the world's worst fanfic (if just on the level of sheer Did Not Do The Proofreading). The first sentence reads, "The Ranger's where flowing a leaded of break-ins." It gets worse. An Old Shame of Gonterman's (although everything he creates becomes Old Shame sooner or later).
 * "Johnathan Brisby" ended up becoming David Gonterman's "mascot". He used the character in an "original" series called Fauna Force, a thinly-veiled explicit ripoff of Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog written with the intent to "steal their audience." Gonterman recently decided to revive the character for some "original fiction"... ignoring that the character is inherently unoriginal (right down to the name).
 * He credits Disney (with the infamous counterthreat if Disney tries to block the story) and Don Bluth in his I Do Not Own blocks - but not Warner Bros!
 * The sad part is that the idea is not bad. The existence of NIMH in the Rescue Rangers universe, and Gadget being one of their super-smart mice or an offspring thereof, would answer some questions about the series. The problem is that neither Gonterman nor his cowriter can write their way out of a paper bag here, and they never try to follow up on these possible plot points.


 * A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic (Character Derailment, Implied High-Octane Squick, rape)
 * Fandom: Ranma ½
 * Pairings: Ranma/Kuno, Ryoga/Akane, Ranma/Akane (eventually), Genma/Cologne
 * Synopsis: While fighting Kuno, Ranma gets splashed; then she is overpowered by Kuno, knocked out, and raped. (Kuno keeps her around until she awakens and tells her, "While we were sleeping, I made love to you.") And, you guessed it, female Ranma ends up pregnant with Kuno's child. Ryoga, the entire Tendo family, and Ranma's father show their compassion for her situation by turning Jerkass, disowning her, and kicking her out. Ranma obviously can't change back to a guy in her current condition. Then Cologne offers a way to, umm, remedy the situation....
 * Comments: Regarding the "Pregnant Ranma" question, Rumiko Takahashi herself once said, "I don't really think about that, and neither should you." Well, someone whose nom de plume is Sheep did; this abomination is the result. Not only do we get Squick Unleaded here, but we also get a narrator who acts like we haven't seen this series before and reminds us almost every other paragraph about Ranma's curse. Plus, Cologne has a romantic interest in Genma. The above link leads to a MSTed version for the sake of your sanity. (Plenty of sheep-related puns make this MST just tolerable...and even then, you might not make it past the first half.)
 * BTW, "A Ranma1/2 Fanfic" isn't just a generic title for a nameless story; it's the story's real title.


 * Raspberry Heaven, I'm Coming Back to You (Gorn, Darker and Edgier, High Octane Nightmare Fuel, Dark Fic, Death Fic, suicide)
 * Fandom: Azumanga Daioh
 * Synopsis: Everybody except Osaka dies horribly when the Yukarimobile collides with a train. Osaka commits suicide. The end.
 * Comments: A driver's ed snuff film in fanfic form. Not only does the author make it a tract to warn against driving like Yukari, like the author of "Osaka Goes Crazy" he/she totally disregards the humorous and lighthearted mood of Azumanga. Also, tons of Fridge Logic. Why the fuck is everybody, including Nyamo, riding with Yukari? Ideally, everybody except for Tomo would just pack into Nyamo's car, or Nyamo would just drive. Also, the gorn is traumatizing, gratuitous, offensive, and unnecessary. Even if there were no gorn, this fanfic would still be the worst Azumanga Daioh fanfic ever written. This fanfic is horrible, and the author should feel horrible for writing it.
 * Nyamo herself has said she wouldn't allow that to happen, because it would be best if fewer people died don't you think?
 * "After looking at these photos, Osaka had become numb. She was hollow inside and nothing could ever restore her. She had no will to live. Her life was simply…gone. There was no more need to exist." Her family would've understood that logic completely. And that is terrible.


 * Revenge Road (Character death, Die for Our Ship, Revenge Fic)
 * Fandom: Kimagure Orange Road
 * Pairings: Kyosuke/Madoka, unrequited Hikaru/Kyosuke
 * Synopsis: Hikaru, upset by Kyosuke choosing Madoka over her, shows up at the house where they're staying, shoots Madoka dead and tortures Kyosuke to death.
 * Comments: Purely vindictive Revenge Fic without much depth besides giving gruesome deaths to the canon couple; it's hard to tell whether the author wrote this as a protest against the Kyosuke/Madoka ship, hates Hikaru or both. Unfortunately, in addition to its disturbing brutality perpetrated against Kyosuke, it lacks the kind of poor spelling and grammar and other Narm factors that would make it So Bad It's Good by taking some of the edge off the more disturbing parts of it and provide (unintentional) humor in the process.


 * Rectified Anonymity, aka "The Pokémon Story" (Poké Bestiality, Rape, Scat, Incest, Genital Mutilation, Snuff, threesome)
 * Fandom: Pokémon
 * Pairings: Male trainer/Gardevoir, male trainer/Nurse Joy/Nurse Joy's dad, Misty/Staryu (implied)
 * Synopsis: David, a male trainer, is stuck in the middle of nowhere with his Gardevoir. He's incredibly horny, and so he brutally rapes her, thoroughly breaking her both physically and mentally in the process. Months later, he brings her into a Pokemon center and ends up raping the nurse. Her dad walks in and the they have an incredibly violent threesome that ends in all three of them bleeding to death. Misty reads the story and despairs, but gets horny, looking to her Staryu.
 * Comments: The nerd website Topless Robot makes a regular habit of posting bad sex fics, but kept this one hidden for the longest time, referring to it only as "The Pokémon Story." And boy, we can see why. Absolutely disgusting, with a take on human anatomy that makes the creators of FATAL look like trained doctors. (Seriously, he twists her cervix?) On a page filled with the worst of the worst and the lowest of the low, this story stands out. DO NOT READ. IF YOU MUST READ, DO NOT HAVE IT READ TO YOU ALOUD.
 * Encyclopedia Dramatica included this fic under the entry for Gardevoir. THEY put a disclaimer on it, although they eventually followed it with a Lemon that was considerably Lighter and Softer.


 * Robin Girl (Teen pregnancy, Canon Defilement)
 * Fandom: Batman
 * Pairing: Batman/Girl Robin
 * Synopsis: Batman and a female Robin fight some random thugs and Boss Maroni. Three months later, Robin is pregnant with Batman's child. Batman tells her to have an abortion, but she refuses. She wants to raise their son as "Bat-boy."
 * Comments: Punctuation, spelling, and syntax are all over the place; Batman is apparently only five years older than Robin; and the entire premise (a female Robin) has been done already in the comics. Twice. Apparently, the author has never picked up a Batman comic in his life. Never has one been able to tarnish the entirety of Batman's canon in two tiny paragraphs.
 * The author removed this story and replaced it with a nearly-identical one removing the "Bat-Boy" baby. That one is equally bad.


 * Sailor Moon: American Kitsune (racism, sexism, homophobia, implied incest, blatantly Out of Character, crossover, explicit sex)
 * Fandom: dub Sailor Moon, Power Rangers, Archie's Sonic the Hedgehog, proto-Gonter Verse, Planet Eris. Practically everything the two authors watched pre-1997, injected with Canon Defilement.
 * Pairing: Usagi/David "Davey Crockett" Kintobor, a blatant Author Avatar God Mode Sue.
 * Synopsis: Usagi gets launched across the Pacific by one of Rita and Lord Zedd's monsters. She's caught in St. Louis by "Davey Crockett", who proceeds to offer her a home for the time. They discover a diabolical team-up of Rita, Zedd, Queen Beryl, Zitkor, and presumably tons more, requiring them to assemble many characters, powers, and other miscellaneous crap that David Gonterman and buddy made up as he went along in an attempt to fight the villainous team. A very confusing ~32,000 words of Dead Fic, to be certain.
 * Comments: One of the most infamous badfics of all time. The story has a horrible, inconsistent structure (although it has surprisingly decent spelling) and a total lack of continuity. Not only do things quickly get contradicted, but new elements just pop up out of nowhere with the expectation that the audience will understand. And it is dull.
 * The story starts out innocuously (if self-indulgent), but it enters this territory with scenes that are inaccessible because the dialogue isn't credited. These look worse compared to the following scenes with the villains, which are in script format. (The work has two authors; they may have done their separate parts without care for consistency.) Then the story starts crossing over with everything. Then Gonterman (maybe also the co-author, but he's a relative unknown) starts writing autobiographically, which is the closest to "Character Development" that Davey gets. Then he drops the Drama Bomb that Usagi is Davey's brother via a sickeningly degrading artificial insemination and abortion plotline that makes little sense. Not only does this make the implied sex scene (itself ten levels of Squick, since Davey was in fox form then) incest, but also, he and Usagi still have a subdued relationship with each other after this realization. But they hadn't forgotten that drama bomb: they constantly lampshade it and how wrong it is. Not exactly respectful to the Sailor Moon fandom. They also derail everyone's character: they turn Usagi into a weak, worthless Damsel in Distress, making canon first-season Usagi look like Ellen Ripley); they make the Sailor Senshi fawning fangirls of Davey from the moment they meet him, even fighting each other over his affections; they make Mamoru Die For Gonterman's Screwed-Up Ship; they make the villains whimpering cowards around Davey; and they generally screw up the characters beyond recognition.
 * Davey Crockett deserves his own special mention. He's an insanely overpowered God Mode Sue with New Powers as the Plot Demands built into his robotic arm and access to pretty much every shiny toy that Gonterman wishes he had. He defies every law of physics possible. He shoots a throne on the moon from Earth with a sawed-off shotgun; astrophysicists had best not read this story lest their brains explode. He is a "freelance Power Ranger" that turns into an anthropomorphic fox when he morphs for no reason but Author Appeal. His Backstory makes no sense whatsoever and contradicts itself in every way possible (and must involve Time Travel at some stage). He has nothing likable about him whatsoever. He's one of the worst Original Characters ever written. His friend Ed (who, one presumes, is the Author Avatar of the other writer) isn't much more balanced, but he seems more tolerable because he has comparatively little screentime.
 * Gonterman (the only person to plug the story positively) suffered massive backlash against this story. His Author Avatar kills Zoisite in a horrifically over-the-top hateful way directed against homosexuality. Then he gives a speech about the horrors that homosexuals have inflicted upon his life that makes the Sailor Senshi cry. (Guess nobody told him that the Japanese Sailor Moon is pro-gay and includes two openly homosexual Sailor Senshi.) He's still banned for life from practically every aspect of the Sailor Moon fandom, and mentioning his story within the community causes Internet Backdraft. Gonterman now considers this story an Old Shame.


 * Sailor Moon: Fantasy (awful explicit sex, characterization rape, Canon Defilement, terrible writing)
 * Fandom: Sailor Moon
 * Pairing(s): Usagi/Mamoru
 * Synopsis: On Usagi's 15th birthday, Mamoru proposes to her; they have sex that night (already diverging from Canon). They get married and have more sex, enjoy married life with more sex, eat at the Sizzler Steakhouse, listen to Yanni, shop for dresses, and go on a double date with Lita and Ken. Throughout everything, Usagi gets dressed and undressed a million times, suffers from a weird disorder in which every time Mamoru approaches she pisses herself and orgasms uncontrollably, and overall makes Kelly Bundy look like a Rhodes scholar. Oh, and there's way too much emphasis on pubic hair.
 * Comments: The author shows no knowledge of female anatomy whatsoever, and the sexist/misogynistic undertones are more than a little disturbing. The writing itself is cringeworthy; you'd think a third grader wrote it, but to say it would be an insult to third graders everywhere.


 * Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm (explicit sex, crossover, pedophilia)
 * Fandom: Neon Genesis Evangelion crossed with Warhammer 40,000
 * Pairings: Yes, unfortunately
 * Synopsis: We tried. We really, honestly tried. But the few who have sat around long enough to give an accurate summary have no doubt since gored out their eyes and couldn't type it down coherently.
 * Comments: High Octane Nightmare Fuel with a lot of horrible Character Derailment thrown in on the side.
 * Why?... God... Why? THIS... THIS... Looking through the reviews of this story, one may get the impression that there is plenty of kinkiness to appeal to the niche, and also some good old fashioned smut. If this is your opinion, then you are horribly, horribly wrong. The author has only the most base acquaintance with Warhammer and no true understanding of the universe at all. He has depicted Slaanesh as some depraved god of excess and lust; while perhaps not far off from a literal translation, he has failed utterly to comprehend Slaanesh's style. Slaanesh is a being of beauty, grace, and perfection - he is/was, after all, created by the Eldar; Psychostorm has chosen to present Slaanesh as an atrocious monstrosity that perverts this concept into a twisted blob (literally). Seriously, does a god of grace and perfect beauty sound like it would be responsible for (this comes from a review) "vomitous lust, four-year-olds with maggot-spewing vaginas and talking fetuses who french-kiss teenage boys while in Hell." The vast majority of the positive reviews hopefully came from people who take the story as a parody, a joke. Hopefully, this is what the writer was aiming for, crossing the line, raping the dog, whatever you want to call it. Because if it isn't... This isn't writing. This isn't an abomination or a sin or a crime. No. Those words inspire grander ideas; Cthulhu to abomination, Milton's Hell to sin, anti-hero to crime. This is shit. Pure and unrefined shit. High Octane Nightmare Fuel? Indeed. And if it was made purely to disgust, shock, and horrify... Then, um, good job? What's the proper protocol here for that great a success in transgressive fiction: 'Yay,' or more abject horror?


 * Should Have (Murder of a major character, mutilation, AU/divergence, a hell of a lot of Character Derailment and Canon Defilement of Gregory Maguire, L. Frank Baum, and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)
 * Fandom: Wicked
 * Synopsis: Instead of being killed when Dorothy tries to pour the bucket of water on her, Elphaba dodges at the last minute and is only burned by some of the water splashing on her. She then accuses Dorothy of trying to kill her even as Dorothy pleads that she was only trying to help. Elphaba demands that Dorothy hand over the ruby slippers; Dorothy replies that they won't come off her feet despite her attempts to remove them. It all goes to hell when Elphaba decides that she'll just hack Dorothy's feet off and take the slippers that way. Elphaba throws Dorothy out the window, where she falls to her death. Elphaba then proceeds to cut Dorothy's feet off, dig them out of the slippers, and then put them on her own feet. The story ends with Elphaba using the slippers' power to teleport to the Emerald City, presumably to kill the Wizard of Oz.
 * Comments: This story illustrates everything that's wrong with the Wicked fandom, and especially the disturbing hatred a certain subset of fans has for Dorothy. This leaves the reader wondering why the author felt the need to include the brutal and graphic murder of a twelve-year old girl and the mutilation of her corpse. The prose is flat and dull, and it constitutes massive Character Derailment for Elphaba, undermining the basic theme of Gregory Maguire's work -- that Elphaba wasn't all that bad to begin with.


 * Sonic Fights Robotnik (Canon Defilement taken as far as it can possibly go without inserting sex or violence)
 * Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog
 * Pairings: Sonic/Cybersex
 * Synopsis: Have you seen any of Seltzer and Friedberg's movies? Good, then you've pretty much read this fanfiction series. It 'parodies' (furry) South Park, Beavis and Butthead, David Gonterman, Quake, James Bond, and so on. It deliberately invokes horrible grammar in an attempt to be funny; this tends to make the story nearly unreadable.
 * Comments: Written deliberately poorly to parody Fanfic Tropes and Sonic the Hedgehog as a whole. The humor is so tepid and random in the early fanfics that it comes across as an gratingly unfunny Indecisive Parody.
 * Caveat: For better or worse, SONIC_FAN realizes this around the sixth chapter and cranks up the Refuge in Audacity and weirdness of the plot while also cleaning up the grammar to make it more readable but still horrible. The later fanfics much more successfully pull off the So Bad It's Good, with the seventh nearly going into So Cool Its Awesome Territory.


 * "A sorceror, A demon, and Emeralds." MSTing can be found here, if you'd prefer to leaven the horror with, uh, wrestling jokes. Or here -- though this one's kind of amateur. (rape, slash)
 * Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog
 * Pairings: rape: evil Sonic/practically everyone
 * Synopsis: a Dark Fic that features Sonic the Hedgehog being corrupted by an evil Chaos Emerald, becoming the all-powerful dictator of Mobius, and raping nearly everybody (including his personal sex slave, Sally). A resistance group composed of Tails, Antoine, and a bunch of self-inserts attempts to stop Sonic's unheralded reign of terror. They all fail miserably in the end.
 * Comments: As can be expected, it's horribly written and wildly Out of Character. Interestingly, the author has updated the fic numerous times since the version that was MSTed, though she has (for obvious reasons) kept it mostly to herself and her closest friends. The self-inserts and horrible grammar are gone; the wildly out-of-character cast and Evil Sonic Rape are not...
 * It is possible that the revised vs. is enough improved from the vs. linked to here that it isn't Horrible. Unfortunately for the world at large, the vs. linked to here are all still here, frozen in their Horrible state.
 * Robotnik gets raped by Sonic.
 * The author has a deviantART account and has posted artwork related to the fic, and it has gotten a POSITIVE RESPONSE. Hopefully, this means she got much, much better.


 * "Split Personalitys Snake X Otacon YaoiHet" (explicit het and slash, violence, alcoholism, cigarette use)
 * Fandom: Metal Gear Solid
 * Pairings: Hal/Dave (after much angst, crying, and wanking), Dave/Meryl (though you wouldn't know it by how they act...)
 * Synopsis: An OOC, swishy, effeminate Otacon stays with his best OOC friend Snake and tries to break him and his OOC girlfriend Meryl apart so they can live their "gay lifestyle" together. Snake uses him for sex until he finally admits that he loves Hal, and then Meryl tries to shoot Hal.
 * The synopsis for the first four chapters (out of fifteen) is this: Depressed Snake and Otacon meet at the airport and argue because Snake has seriously messed up his personal life. Snake and Meryl argue. A lot. Snake gets drunk. Snake has drunken sex with Otacon. Snake wakes up sober and tells Otacon to go away. Otacon asks Meryl if he can stay over. She says yes.
 * Comments: The timeline is all over the place (they didn't have their secret handshake until the second game). The author tries to justify the rampant OOC behavior (Hal is not swishy, Dave does not get teary over the prospect of losing Meryl, and Meryl is not a Genki Girl!) by saying this work is an "Epic Psychological Story involving the powerful feelings that can develope and the physical, social & psychological effects". The grammar and spelling are all over the place and are generally crap. Be warned, there are fifteen chapters and a sequel (featuring Raiden as a full-blown Camp Gay who visits bathhouses and everything!) to get through. Not for the faint of heart.
 * It moves at the rate of molasses. It takes an hour to get to the fourth chapter. It takes quite a while to get to the end of the first chapter.
 * The author warns in the author's notes for the first chapter that the story is badly written, but states that the characters are as in-character as the plot will allow.


 * Spyro dragon and human (Absolutely awful grammar, child torture, Random Events Plot) (link to an MST)
 * Fandom: ''Spyro
 * Synopsis: A boy gets turned into Spyro and gets tortured by another dragon.
 * Comments: Easily the worst fic ever featured on Steel Donut Collective. The grammar is so bad, that it's almost impossible to differentiate between characters talking, characters thinking, descriptions and actions.


 * Star Destroyers Rampant (Blatant Star Wars fanboyism, crossover, Beige Prose)
 * Fandom: Star Wars, Star Trek (sort of)
 * Pairings: None, unless you count the Cargo Ship between the Imperial officers and their turbolasers.
 * Synopsis: A Star Destroyer is transported to the Milky Way galaxy, where it accidentally destroys the USS Enterprise and then starts single-handedly conquering the United Federation of Planets.
 * Comments: The publication of official weapons specs for Imperial starships in the early 2000s Star Wars Incredible Cross-Sections books resulted in a lot of fanfics that were thinly-veiled excuses for Star Wars fans to depict the Empire massacring the various Star Trek races, but this one stands out for being perhaps the most fanboyish and the most ineptly executed.
 * For one thing, there's no opportunity to see the characters from the two different franchises interact. The Star Wars side is represented only by some paper-thin OCs, and while the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation do show up, they all die near the start of the story (barring only La Forge, who is captured, taken away for interrogation and then never mentioned again).
 * But by far the biggest failing of the story is the battle scenes. Even if you're the type of person who would enjoy seeing Star Trek characters get slaughtered en masse, the battles aren't interesting in the slightest, and are depicted as long walls of text describing the precise amount of energy being exchanged by each side. The entire story essentially amounts to just the Empire showing up, obliterating any Federation vessels that dare to oppose them, repeated a few times until the author apparently got bored and gave up.


 * A Story of Our Lives (Major Character Derailment, sexual situations, wholesale plagarism of in-game dialogue)
 * Fandom: Mass Effect
 * Pairings: Female Shepard/Thane Krios
 * Synopsis: From the summary: Shepard and Thane decide to start their lives together, but their plans are set back when an old face returns. Thane must fight to save his Siha as well as battle a ghost from his own past. The old face is Kaiden, and he sets their plans back by kidnapping Shepard after she is pregnant...
 * Comments: This is the infamous "Kaidan kidnaps Shepard -who is pregnant with Thane's baby-" fic. Let's not think too hard about drell-human hybrids... This story is one of the prime examples of what is wrong with most post-Horizon Revenge Fic within the fandom. Not only is Kaidan turned into a Complete Monster, but there's rampant Character Derailment for practically everyone else. This author, in a special touch that doubles as Did Not Do the Research, makes Feron the brother of Thane.
 * The sad part? The author seems genuine and even admits that everyone is Out of Character after she was (apparently) called out on it.


 * Tale of a Horny Hawk (Beige Prose, failed biology and sex, IKEA Erotica, unintended Body Horror, implied Self-Insert Fic)
 * Fandom: Knights of the Old Republic
 * Pairings: Mara Raven/entire galaxy.
 * Synopsis: A Porn Without Plot masquerading as a Novelization, telling the story of "Mara Raven" - a female Revan Mara Jade Expy - as she arrives on Taris.
 * Comments: Mara shags everyone she meets - man, woman, alien, hologram, and she'll probably try her luck with HK-47 if the author gets that far - from the first scene onwards. This tends to swamp the rest of the plot, which is advanced in throwaway lines in between bouts of IKEA Erotica. It's swamped in more ways than one, because every character seems to hold gallons of high-pressure fluid just waiting to be released in biologically-impossible torrents. It's a wonder nobody either drowns or dies of dehydration.
 * The same author also brought us Leia/Jaina femmeslash and Wookiee sex in her other works.


 * Titian Heat. Spork here. All The Tropes will not be held responsible for brain damage if you read this unsporked. (Timeline-fail, Character Derailment, completely ignoring a critical point in Canon plot, explicit rape, Slash Fic involving a Disney character, BESTIALITY INVOLVING SIMBA. Not Safe For Humanity.)
 * Fandom: Kingdom Hearts.
 * Pairings: Simba/Riku with a side helping of Riku/Sora.
 * Synopsis: Riku, travelling with King Mickey, decides to look for Sora in the Pride Lands, where he meets Simba. Simba, who hasn't been getting any since Nala is pregnant, spontaneously rapes Riku.
 * Comments: The pairing, and the manner of its consummation, is so unholy that an angel falls out of the sky and dies every time someone reads this for the first time. The sporker was reduced to macros to convey just a tiny little bit of the horror. This fic doesn't just feature character rape, figurative and literal; it features the rape of happy childhood memories as well. This story is so bad, even the sporking isn't much of an improvement.


 * Tsunami (Mary Sue, Character Derailment, Self Insert, Draco in Leather Pants)
 * Fandom: X-Men: Evolution
 * Pairing: Pietro/Mary Sue, With a slight Kurt/Mary Sue hinted at.
 * Synopsis: Semina is a young girl who, despite being good at everything, is Bad at math and has her grades lowered by a Sadist Teacher. Without warning, her powers manifest and Charles Xavier has her trained by her aunt in controlling her Pheoni level psychic abilities to Read minds, Move objects with her mind, Water Manipulation and Healing. When she reaches the right age she is taken to the Xavier institute where she quickly becomes liked by everyone exept for Scott and Jean because they are bad people and as such are constantly bashed by Semina. Episodes from Season 1 are retold from Semina's point of view after she is inserted into them, usually with important moments changed so she can look better, while the Jerkass Pietro slowly starts to fall for her.
 * Comments: The author, Jesse J Maximoff, is a massive Pietro Fan Girl who admits herself its 'a bit' Mary Sueish, but that doesn't cover it. Semina has too many powers, to the point they become redundant (Telekinesis and water manipulation!?), including an example of Elements Do Not Work That Way in that Semina was unable to manipulate the water in the air because there wasn't enough but Storm was able to make it rain with the same amount of water so she could manipulate the rain, forgetting that Storm would need a large amount to make it rain; later is able to manipulate clouds since there is no other water sources nearby, never occurring to them that since the town its set in is close to a beach, the sea would be a closer source. Not to mention they were outside and as such could use the air, though these two were probably attempts to make her look weak for a second. Semina is also able to use water To pin down Juggernaut, something no earthbound force is able to do, completely ruining the Enemy Mine situation if all the real work is done by one individual and everything everyone else did was useless and inefective. In the same chapter, Semina managed to beat Lance and Scott but decided to let Scott get ahead because he "needed it" and looked funny when acting all masculine. Semina is also a cheerleader who becomes friends with everyone, including the anti-social Rogue due to being a rock fan.
 * Secondly, Jerkass Antagonist Pietro Maximoff is potrayed much more nicely, the only time he acts mean is in scenes from the show and even there its potrayed less so; his origin episode already happned by the time the story starts and its only adapted the first season, but any part he appears in he doesn't usually do much villainy, despite him being the evilest character in the Brotherhood. The author cites Pietro as her favourite male character, not because of him being funny to watch, but because he's hot.
 * Thirdly, Scott and Jean are repeatedly insulted and bashed. Throwaway jokes about them are treated as serious examples of their jerkassery and they are acused of being horrible and bad people for no reason. In fact, Semina actually comes off as a bully who insults them for everything: any time Scott acts masculine or heroic he's criticised for it, any time Jean shows any sign of weakness she's accused of being annoying and in the way. The author's profile actually mentions Jean as her least favourite female character, not becuase of her perfectionist attutude or any legitimate reason, but because she was really weak in the first season. Yeah, the strongest and most powerful mutant in the series was too weak for the author's taste.
 * In addition, any negative comment or review by annonymous reviewers (since readers with accounts don't wish to look mean by criticising a new writer) are deleted by the author as, to quote one review, she's "a gigantic baby that refuses to see any flaws in her perfect story", especially when they have perfectly valid points. In fact, one of the few to survive her wrath actually only said 'Semina' sounds like Semen and told her to stop writing/start again. She defended her story by telling the anonymous reviewers they are just annoying Pietro haters who hate her because she doesn't like Jott, despite some of the reviews coming from Pietro fans who like his Jerkassery and even Jott haters who dislike the bashing she's giving them. She also tried to defend it by saying it's fan fiction and she has a right to characterise anyone how she wants (while granted she does, but it doesn't make it right to bash characters for no reason or ignore people's advice) and claims the only advice they provide is to delete the story, when in fact, they have told her the problem is the bashing, Character Derailment, and the overpowered Mary Sue.
 * The story does have some fans who like it because they're also Pietro fan girls who use Semina as a place holder for themselves, including one who has a suspiciously similar (though coincidental as they're a less skilled, but not as annoying or bashful, writer who's been on the site for many years) username of Jess Maximoff. Some of which have also defended it (though their only defence is 'its a good story'), but others have even out right said they agree she's a Mary Sue and Pietro isn't enough of a Jerkass. In fact, her fans are literally a vocal minority, they review a lot (they're huge blocks of reviews all from the same person) but are limited to only six, seven maybe, and the majority of her hater's comments are usually deleted, so a fair comparision is dificult.
 * Lastly, The Author has a superficial taste in characters: her two favourite characters are Pietro because he's hot and X-23 because she looks just like her and is a "Cartoon Version of [Her]" despite the fact X-23 is a depressed clone and victim of a horrible experiment. She's also The Woobie, and has nothing in common with the author. Her least favourite are Jean, because she was too weak despite being the most powerful, and Evan, not because of him being The Scrappy, The Canon Foreigner, or the Token Minority, because of his hair and the author couldn't see why he didn't like Pietro, something that was justified and phased out of the series with Kitty becoming the one who hates him the most. She also listed her favourite pairings as including Pietro/any female character, even ones he never interacted with and had nothing in common (The most favourite Being Pietro/X-23, something which would be murder to read because of All the Character Derailment needed for that to work) and least favourite's being Yoai, Jott (For litterally no reason, she gives it as she just doesn't like them), Magneto/Rogue (Understandable due to the age difference but its literally such a minor pairing that no one reads it, and probably comes from The AOA universe), and Kurmanda, not because of how it was forced, or because Amanda came off as a Purity Sue, but becuase they're brother and sister in the comics. They're not, Kurt was raised by her mother but wasn't adopted, related, or even fostered by them, she's more like a childhood best friend.

"Chris: Okay, let's continue the violent, gross, gut-busting, sexy, heart stopping drama that is Total Drama Torture! (Spins the Wheel of Victims) Our next not lucky victim right now is going to be..." (It lands on Ezekiel) Ezekiel! This is going to be our second torture idea with guests! Please welcome some of the Griffins from Family Guy! (Brian, Stewie and Peter come out with guns)
 * Total Drama Torture, by LordryuTJ (Gorn, Out of Character, explicit rape, sexual assault, character death, gratuitous character resurrection, Moral Event Horizon crossing, Crossover. sweet god in heaven Crossover.) Read the MST here.
 * Fandom: Total Drama Island (Hatedom), crossing over with Family Guy, South Park, and Halo.
 * Pairings: Duncan/Courtney, Duncan/Lindsay (one sided rape), Duncan/Heather (again, in a one sided rape), and Duncan/Bridgette (again, one sided rape), with no warning. Slight Izzy/Owen, Trent/Gwen.
 * Synopsis: Chris holds up a season where all that happends is that campers are chosen (by a spinning wheel) to be tortured and killed. They are revived routinely -- it's part of the "game," too. For no reason and no warning other than that the writer likes the shows and games, Peter, Brian, and Stewie show up as "Guests", along with Cartman and The Master Chief.
 * Comments: No Just No. If you want to make a third season, then you make it like the real Total Drama seasons with teams, vote offs, alliances, and all that. This is just a lot of pointless Gorn. Oh, and the rape scenes are just awkward breast rubbing, possibly because the writer has no idea of any sort of female anatomy other than "boobs are hot." (Another fan fic of his shows that he thinks that girls literally have balls; in yet another in which he talks about lesbian sex, he uses the sentence "Heather then stretched her cheeks apart and stuffed Lindsay's vagina in the anus, and let Lindsay's cum shoot into Heather.") And Chris gets off to the breast rubbing. Yes, that's right, an adult gets off to one 16 year old raping another via breast rubbing. Also, Chris, Duncan, and Cartman are derailed to total monsters, and Duncan becomes a blatant Marty Stu. This isn't uncommon with the creator's works, but Duncan is Stu-ified to greater lengths than in those other works. Also, John McCain gets 57 votes to be killed off for no reason other than the writer hates him. Also, the main trio of Family Guy shows up to kill innocent teens for no reason, saying only quotes from the show. If this is a Troll Fic made just to piss off fans of the four works, along with making them look bad, then good job. If not, then...
 * This is the bottom of the barrel. His other works are Guilty Pleasures or So Bad It's Good (for instance, one of them is about some of the campers, Mung, Truffles, Chowder, Peter and others going into a series called Total Cartoon Island; and during Total Cartoon Island Return, Owen goes on a mad rage against Peter for... tricking him by giving a Michael Jackson concert ticket). This is truly Horrible. This is horrid; the crossover seems like blatant shameless promotion; the torture challenges torturing attempts to cross the line twice, but fails and falls into Dude, Not Funny teritory; the death descriptions get lazier and lazier until it's not torturing, but just rabid kill-outs. The only two good things to say about this: some of the cast is in character even down to tiny details (such as Ezekiel keeping his "eh"), and it is one of the few fan fics by this guy that does not rip the lines from Total Drama Island or use copy/paste.
 * For more proof that this should belong in SBiH: one chapter has a significant portion taken up by Cartman saying "die" over and over again. That, and Duncan just "rapes" someone out of the blue. Here's an example and no, it's not edited (except for links, spacing and the whole quote formatt), this is the real format of the fan fic:

Stewie: Hey, guys. Stay gold, dudes! (Shoots Ezekiel in the leg) Ezekiel: Agh! Hey! (Peter shoots Ezekiel) Ow! Damn it! (Gets shot a few more times) I'm losing a lot of blood right now, eh! (Gets shot some more. Brian shoots Ezekiel in the head with a sniper rifle) Brian: That's for calling me gay! Peter: It's just been revoked! Brian: That's not that much good for some kind of Lethal Weapon reference. Peter: (Points his gun at Bridgette) I'll have what she's having! Brian: That's... uh... somewhat better. Peter: Can we kill some more, Chris?"


 * That chapter with Cartman saying "die"? A wordcount was made of that part and you know what it came up to? Over 70,000 times. According to Wikipedia, the typical wordcount for a work to be considered a novel is over 50,000. This man wrote a novel with one word.
 * TL:DR version: This starts as an attempt to be edgy and fails. Then it starts to sing the praises of Family Guy.
 * Checking out the other guy's works (a "what if" "series" (it's a one chapter Dead Fic) that's just an anti-Courtney fic, and another Courtney kill-fic), this isn't so surprising.


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