Loserz



A webcomic by Erik Schoenek. Started in 2001, went on hiatus in 2007. You find the archive of strips up to 2004 here; a more recent site (bukucomics) was gone dead for some time, came back, and now has gone dead again. Luckily, yet another archive can be found here.

A sequel comic (set a few real-time years after hiatus) has started and has a new website here

The protagonists are three high school kids on a school in Michigan:
 * Ben Winchester, a somewhat weird, but generally nice guy.
 * Eric Remington, a typical nerd, fan of Star Wars, Star Trek, Comic Books, Tabletop Games, Lord of the Rings, Video Games, and so on.
 * Jodie Beretta, fun-loving bisexual, who's in a lasting platonic friendship with the two boys.

Not to be confused with Sexy Losers.

Contains examples of:
"Carrie: I think those boobs give her powers."
 * Actually Pretty Funny: Ben's father is laughing about "dingle-choad".
 * The Alleged Car: Eric's
 * All Girls Want Bad Boys: Lampshaded on it being played straight, and subverted.
 * All Love Is Unrequited: Eric and.
 * All Women Are Prudes: Jessica is implied to be this, since no guy has been able to make a move on her.
 * Alpha Bitch: Carrie and various other popular girls. They even have a language code!
 * Anything That Moves: Jodie.
 * April Fools' Day
 * Arms and Armor Theme Naming: The protagonists are all named after guns: Benjamin Winchester, Jodie Beretta and Eric Remington.
 * Art Evolution: Black and White to Colored with Large Lips to the current style.
 * Author Guest Spot
 * Bad Job, Worse Uniform: A chicken costume
 * Bare Your Midriff: Said chicken costume seems to be Jodie's only non-midriff-baring outfit.
 * Beauty Is Never Tarnished: No, Jodie farting once in front of her friends was a definite aversion.
 * Better Than Sex: According to Jodie, Spider-Man 2 is even better than the best sex she had.
 * Big Eater: Ben, to Eric's displeasure.
 * Big No: Actually a parody on Luke Skywalker's.
 * Black Best Friend: Black Girlfriend - Alice.
 * Though isn't that more like the inversion of Where Da White Women At? ?
 * Black Bra and Panties: Jessica wears them, while still a virgin. See here.
 * Blank White Eyes
 * Blatant Lies: Manipulative Bastard Adam is an expert at this.
 * Boobs of Steel: Played with after  and Alice forces them to make up.

"Jesus:Disco Jesus does not date boys!"
 * Bottle Fairy: Both Jodie and her mom.
 * Brain Bleach: Ben imagines purging his thoughts with a gasoline fire.
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: The latest instance being Ben telling the readers (and the forum) not to make a fuss about his love life, Jodie and Eric don't know who he's talking to.
 * Brick Joke: Birds are evil!
 * Buffy-Speak
 * Bumbling Dad: Ben's.
 * Burger Fool
 * Calvin Ball: Euchre.
 * Camp Gay / Depraved Homosexual: In-story on TV.
 * Canis Latinicus: Jodie is a "sluttus maximus".
 * Cannot Spit It Out: Eric to Alice, Ben to whomever (his problem with Hollywood Tourettes)
 * Cardboard Pal
 * Casanova: Adam.
 * Cat Fight
 * Chained to a Bed: Jodie once ends up like this. Must've been a really Wild Teen Party.
 * Character Development
 * Cluster F-Bomb
 * Code Word Coitus: Adam knows how.
 * Companion Cube
 * Completely Missing the Point: Ben, on meeting a girl who's pretty much like Jodie.
 * Contemplating Your Hands: Tim demonstrates it here.
 * Cool Loser
 * Country Matters: From Jessica to Carrie, and she deserved it.
 * Cuteness Proximity: Gus. Jodie is reduced to nigh incomprehensibility in the face of his sheer adorableness and even Jodie's mother degenerates into Baby Talk.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms
 * Deep-Immersion Gaming: For both Tabletop Games and MMORPG.
 * Defrosting Ice Queen: Carrie.
 * Did You Just Have Sex?
 * Disappeared Dad: Jodie's, though it's something of a subversion - Jodie's mother became pregnant from a one-night stand in Vegas where she was so drunk that she didn't even remember the guy's name. She never saw him after, and it was two weeks later at home that she discovered she was pregnant, much too late to even attempt to locate him, so he didn't disappear - he was never even there to begin with at all.
 * Dissimile
 * Distracted by the Sexy: Nice example here.
 * Double Entendre
 * Double Standard: Gives examples on occasion.
 * Dream Within a Dream
 * Drill Sergeant Nasty: The female Dance Team coach.
 * Early Installment Weirdness: In this case it means: Ben didn't always act like he was struck with Tourettes Shitcock Syndrome when around girls.
 * Erotic Eating: Demonstrated by Jodie here.
 * Cute Kitten: Gus.
 * Everything's Deader with Zombies: They all like videogames with zombies, and then there's this strip.
 * Funny Spoon: Of course, being under the influence of coffee helps appreciating spoons.
 * Everything's Worse with Bees
 * The Exit Is That Way
 * Expressive Accessory: Eric's hat. Visible by everyone except himself.
 * Fan Service: Mostly involving Jodie.
 * Fat Bastard: Averted with Eric who is a bit overweight, but nice. Played straight with a one-shot character.
 * Faux Yay: Jodie utilizes this technique to attract guys. Although... she really is also attracted to women.
 * First Kiss
 * Flash Back: Lampshaded here.
 * Flipping the Bird
 * Freak-Out
 * Freudian Excuse: Carrie's parents are shown to be overbearing and obsessed with success, which helped to shape her into an Alpha Bitch.
 * Frivolous Lawsuit
 * Funny Animal: Max and Cecil, a fox and porcupine based on Calvin and Hobbes who appear in the main comic a couple of times while having their own occasional side story.
 * Future Loser:, as in Quarter Life Crisis.
 * Gamer Chick: Jodie likes Video Games and even Dungeons and Dragons too.
 * Gasshole: Sorry to say that, but Jodie.
 * Girl-On-Girl Is Hot
 * Girl Posse: Carrie, Alice, Jessica.
 * Girls Love Stuffed Animals: Jodie too.
 * God (and Jesus too)


 * Good Angel, Bad Angel
 * A Good Old-Fashioned Paint-Watching
 * Growing Up Sucks
 * Guilty Pleasures: for Carrie.
 * Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Max and Cecil (only in a waterfight, usually they go without)
 * Heterosexual Life Partners: Ben and Eric. Also Carrie and Jessica.
 * Hidden Heart of Gold: Adam.
 * Hikikomori: Jodie, once.
 * Hitler Ate Sugar
 * Hollywood Tourettes: Ben.
 * Though to be fair, it's never actually referred to as Tourettes Syndrome. He's just so socially awkward that he spits out the first thing on his mind when he meets a girl. Considering that he's an average 15-16 year old male, simmering in a massive cocktail of hormones, the first thing on his mind tends to be sex.
 * Horrible Camping Trip
 * Hot Amazon: (One dream sequence.)
 * Ho Yay: No, really.
 * Human Popsicle
 * Humongous Mecha: Quick kids! Into the Camper!
 * Hypocritical Humor: Several times, frex this strip about responsibility.
 * Ignore the Fanservice: Ben unconsciously ignored a hot girl hitting on him because he was staring at Jesse's butt
 * I Have to Wash My Hair: here and here
 * Imaginary Friend
 * The Imp: In-story, in World of Warcraft.
 * The Ingenue: Ben's little brother. Though Ben rather thinks of him as an Annoying Younger Sibling.
 * It's All My Fault
 * Jerk Jock: Most of them are.
 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Ben. He may be rude and foul-mouthed, but deep down he's a Nice Guy who just happens to have awful Social Skills.
 * Carrie too. She will protect her friends, and won't betray them, even if one's dating a loser and the other is a.
 * Jive Turkey: Subverted.
 * Jizzed in My Pants: Here. Jodie too.
 * Killer Rabbit
 * Lampshade-Wearing: This strip.
 * Life Embellished: Mostly Slice of Life, but then suddenly the characters watch movies together with Yoda, or do something else you don't see in Real Life.
 * Lipstick Lesbian:
 * Living Emotional Crutch: Jodie doesn't take it well if she doesn't have her friends around.
 * Lonely Doll Girl: Happens in this comic and the few proceeding it in this comic, with a slight touch of craziness from isolation.
 * Mad Scientist: Eric has his moments.
 * Male Gaze
 * Manipulative Bastard: Adam knows how to get the ladies, most of the time. Also Carrie.
 * A Man Is Not a Virgin: Averted.
 * Man On Fire: Here.
 * Mean Boss
 * Media Watchdog
 * Misplaced Kindergarten Teacher: Mrs. Snockenflaubin, sometimes
 * Mother F-Bomb: This strip.
 * Mushroom Samba: On extra-strength coffee.
 * My Car Hates Me: Eric's.
 * My Eyes Are Up Here: "Yeah. And so is your hair. What's your point?"
 * My Girl Is Not a Slut
 * My Girl Is a Slut: The reason most of the guys wooed Jodie.
 * My Sister Is Off-Limits: Invoked with Adam's.
 * Mystery Meat
 * Nerd: Eric. And proud of it! Ben to a lesser extent.
 * Nerds Are Sexy:
 * Nightmare Sequence: Also subverts All Just a Dream, here.
 * No Fourth Wall
 * Noodle Implements: A tutu, big coconuts, bear fur suits (to be worn without pants) and the key element is a little plush bear of doom...
 * Not Helping Your Case: That's not the way to convince your mom that videogames don't make you violent.
 * Not a Morning Person: Eric
 * Obfuscating Stupidity: Adam's very good at psychology, but prefers to hide it. "Bitches like to think they can outsmart you."
 * Oh No You Didn't: This strip is titled "Oh no she didn't!" and describes this trope pretty well.
 * One of the Boys: Jodie for the two guys.
 * Online Alias: Ben is "zombiejuiceYUM". Jodie is "p0rnstar6912".
 * Open-Minded Parent: Surprisingly,
 * Operation: Jealousy: One girl (name's Carla) thinks this is the case. Here.
 * Orphaned Series
 * Painting the Fourth Wall
 * Parental Obliviousness: Jodie's mom, the other parents to some extent.
 * Pass the Popcorn
 * Perverse Sexual Lust: In-series, on Belldandy. "Back off whore! She's mine!"
 * Picture Day: How to avoid you parents send your pic to everyone.
 * Precision F-Strike: Jessie on Carrie, with a precision C strike.
 * Porn Stash: Jodie has one on her computer. Including yaoi. Ben has one too (without yaoi, obviously).
 * Precocious Crush: Ben's little brother on Jodie.
 * Really Gets Around: Jodie, of course.
 * Also, Roxy Harden.
 * Ridiculous Procrastinator: Ben.
 * Right Behind Me: here
 * Ring Ring CRUNCH
 * RPG Episode
 * Running Gag: Eric's hat changes its wording in every single panel, except when he looks at it. Though Ben notices it just fine.
 * Ben yelling "CHOKE ON MY BONER!" when he gets nervous around a hot girl.
 * Odd because the first time he shouts this because he keeps thinking to himself to "not choke" and "don't be boner", and somehow the two phrases crash dramatically in his brain
 * Scare'Em Straight: Parodied.
 * Schedule Slip: Happened several times. Sometimes lampshaded. And now it's dead.
 * Schoolgirl Lesbians:, forming a pair with Jodie.
 * Series Hiatus
 * Serious Business: The right choice of Makkaroni with cheese!
 * Shaving Is Science: Parodied here.
 * Sidetracked by the Gold Saucer: Erik (the author).
 * Sleep Mode Size: Jodie sometimes, like here.
 * Speak in Unison: Here, for example. And here.
 * Special Snowflake Syndrome: Ben wants to play an Elven Barbarian. "His name is Glorfinmad!"
 * Spell My Name with an "S": Mentioning the Aeris-Aerith controversy
 * Split Screen
 * Spoiled Brat
 * Spork: Here, it's an eyefork.
 * Squee
 * Stalker with a Crush: Female example. "I spend all of my time with them, I swear I'll be with them forever *sob*, I hide in their bushes..."
 * Step Three: Profit: By making people fat?
 * The Stoner: Tim; occasionally the protagonists too.
 * Stuffed Into a Locker: Reversed in one case, where a locker was stuffed into a person
 * Subtext
 * Super-Deformed: Occasionally with the characters, played straight with the author himself.
 * Take That: Several, one instance is towards the film version of House Of The Dead.
 * And then one at the forums.
 * The Talk
 * Terrible Interviewees Montage: This strip is a reverse example.
 * Theme Naming: The three main characters' last names are all gun makers.
 * This Is for Emphasis, Bitch: Here.
 * Token Minority: Alice.
 * Took a Level In Kindness: Ben and Adam in Quarter Life Crisis. The former because he had overcame his problems with women (he even has a girlfriend!), and the latter by.
 * True Companions: One common subplot is the deep friendship between the main trio. Eventually, joins the group, and by Quarter Life Crisis, he's an official member of the group.
 * Carrie, despite being an Alpha Bitch, considers her friends Jessica and Alice this. Especially Jesse, who is her childhood friend.
 * Twice Shy: Played with Alice and Eric, who already got together, but broke up. See here.
 * Two Guys and a Girl
 * Unsound Effect
 * Unusual Euphemism
 * Virginity Makes You Stupid
 * Vomit Indiscretion Shot
 * Wallet Moths: Here.
 * Water Guns and Balloons: In one story arc.
 * Webcomic Time
 * Why Did You Make Me Hit You?
 * Women Drivers: Jodie
 * Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Played with. Ben eventually hits Jodie for  with a light tap, saying that's how little he's angry with her. Subverted afterward when she confesses to kissing her and Ben lunges at her in fury.
 * Before that though, he plays up the Double Standard for all it's worth. Jodie is annoyed with Ben for not wanting to hit her and get his revenge, so she asked him "What would you do if it was Eric who slept with her?". Ben immediately goes into a trance-like state and launches Eric across the room with one punch without turning around or even looking at him.
 * Yaoi Fangirl: Jodie.
 * You Have Failed Me: Parodying the Star Wars scene.
 * You Know I'm Black, Right?: Alice to Carrie
 * You Need a Breath Mint: Jodie, for NSFW reasons.
 * You Need to Get Laid