Torchwood/Recap/S2/E01 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Jack's been gone for a while to spend some time with the Doctor, and Torchwood has gotten quite a bit more effective as a result. For one, they've redecorated the base, Gwen has taken charge of missions, and Ianto gets to ride in the car now.

The Torchwood team are chasing a blowfish-alien driving a sports car. Said blowfish proceeds to break into a house and take hostages. After sizing up the team and daring them to attack first, he is unexpectedly shot by Jack, fresh from his trip with the Doctor.

Once they return to the Hub, the team demands to know where Jack disappeared to. He mentions that he's "found his Doctor" but that he came back to be with the team. Gwen is now engaged to Rhys. She fumbles awkwardly around Jack for a bit when she tells him, and he promptly stops flirting with her.

Meanwhile, a guy who calls himself "Captain John Hart" arrives from the future. He loves standing on top of buildings just as much as Jack does. Unlike Jack, however, he also likes throwing people off of them. Also, he's a Time Agent and dated Jack for five years.

John makes a dramatic entrance and calls Jack. They make out, punch each other and reminisce about the past. John needs Torchwood to help him gather a series Plot Coupon canisters. While searching for the things, Jack asks Ianto out on a date -- dinner and a movie. Ianto happily agrees.

Torchwood finds the canisters, but John knocks out Gwen by kissing her with poison lipstick, takes out Owen by shooting him, headbutts Tosh, and throws Jack off of a building.

With Jack sprawled over a bench with a very painful-looking broken back, John tries to use his new gadgets for his own gain. However, all of Torchwood make it back to the Hub in time to point their guns at him. Also, the previous owner of the canisters has set up a trap, and a bomb latches onto John's DNA. Ianto merrily times the bomb with his trusty stop watch.

John handcuffs himself to Gwen and threatens to blow her up along with him. Gwen decides to drag him into the rift in order to save the city. However, the team manages to inject John with their own DNA just in time, confusing the bomb and resetting time to the start of the day.

John asks to join Torchwood, but Jack just bids him farewell with a sweet kiss. John has one final message: "I found Gray."

Tropes
"John Hart: [looking out the window] I think I'm starting to see what he likes about this place: she's beautiful, he's stunning...
 * Anything That Moves: John Hart is this in spades.

Gwen Cooper: Do you ever stop?

John Hart: What? Five minutes to live, you want me to behave? Oh, that's gorgeous.

Gwen Cooper: That's a poodle.

Captain John Hart: [savagely] That's nice."

"John Hart: Do you have a team name? I love team names; go on.
 * Chekhov's Gun/Foreshadowing:
 * Development Gag: The original name for the Torchwood series was "Excalibur". This is referenced when the team meets John Hart.

Jack Harkness: Torchwood.

John Hart: Oh. Not Excalibur?"


 * Extended Disarming
 * Ho Yay: Jack mentions that he "came back for you" (Ianto) before reiterating that he came back for the whole team.
 * Kiss Kiss Slap: When Jack and John come face to face for the first time they kiss
 * Mexican Standoff: Jack's fight with John Hart ends with mutually aimed pistols.
 * Shout-Out: "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!"