Nintendo/WMG

Nintendo focusing on casual gaming wasn't done for profit.
It was done to troll hardcore gamers. That IT PRINTS MONEY! is nothing more than a very pleasant side-effect.
 * As an extension:

Nintendo has been trolling hardcore gamers since 1989.
Here are the occurrences of such trolling taking place:
 * The first articles announcing the Game Boy, when no pictures were released yet, described it as a "portable entertainment system", leading people to believe it would have been a portable NES. It turned out to have much more in common with a Game & Watch than an NES.
 * A game titled Super Mario's Wacky Worlds and three "great" Zelda games, were announced for the C Di. What we got was a Mario game called Hotel Mario, where the goal is to shut doors, and the infamous Unholy Triforce.
 * The Virtual Boy was announced as a full-color virtual reality console called VR-32. It was released as a pair of goggles on a stand, capable only to display monochromatic (red) bitmap scenes.
 * The Nintendo 64 was announced as a console called Ultra 64, based on Silicon Graphics technology with advanced CGI capabilities that would rival supercomputers of the era. It was supposed to come out in 1995 and have pixel-perfect ports of Killer Instinct and Cruis'n USA (which allegedly used Ultra 64 hardware) as killer apps. It was released one year after the intended release date with completely different hardware than that of those arcade games, mediocre graphic capabilities, and crappy ports of those games.
 * In 1999, people were asking for a Pokémon game on Nintendo 64 that would beat the Game Boy Pokemon games in graphics and gameplay. In response, Nintendo released Pokémon Snap, a game where the goal is to take photographs of Pokemon.
 * That wasn't trolling, that was Nintendo making a game even better than what the Hardcore were calling for. It is, to date, probably the Pokemon game that the hardcore most call out for a sequel to.
 * The Gamecube was was made to look like a toaster on purpose... for the lulz.
 * The Game Boy Advance went through 3 designs; the Nintendo DS went though 4. Each of them was generally just slightly better than the previous one, excepting the Game Boy Micro, which looked attractive but was so unergonomic that it was practically unusable. This was an obvious attempt of Nintendo to get people to buy the same thing again and again.
 * The Wii was given a name that means "urine" on purpose... for the lulz.
 * When Avatar was in theaters, Satoru Iwata dissed stereoscopy calling it "a useless gimmick" and reminded people of the Virtual Boy, which was stereoscopic but a total fiasco. Six months later, he revealed the Nintendo 3DS, an autostereoscopic portable console.

Nintendo will never make a console in HD

 * As a way of trolling its fans and hardcore gamers, as well as following its trend of not following the lead of any console and not Pandering to The Base, Nintendo will probably refuse to make any console in HD.
 * I've heard that the next console will be able to play Blu-ray, which means it would need to be HD by definition. Besides, Nintendo is super-impressive in making games with low-res graphics; if anything, they'd hold back on HD because the pure awesomeness that would result from an HD Nintendo game would make the world explode. And then who would they sell to?
 * It is possible to play Gamecube and Wii games in HD, just not with a Gamecube or Wii. Dolphin is a Gamecube and Wii emulator for PC that is capable of displaying games in arbitrarily high resolutions, and if the computer is equipped with stereoscopic displays and drivers, even in real 3D. That's right: an emulator offers more functionality than the original consoles.
 * They said they would at the 2011 E3. But there's no release date yet, so the Wii U could be the console equivalent of Vaporware.
 * Not the case, recent interviews say it's Spring/Summer 2012.
 * After Spring/Summer 2012. They could take as much time as they want and it wouldn't be false advertising.

Shigeru Miyamoto and Sakurai are of The Fair Folk
Unimaginably strange, capricious demeanor? Check. Enjoy practical jokes and act silly, but ultimately very dangerous and powerful? Check.

Nintendo is a front organization to funnel money to their elvish kin in Fairyland so that when they return out in the open, they will have the funding to be as powerful as ever right from the start. I for one welcome our new inscrutable overlords.
 * (laughs)

Nintendo planned on Microsoft and Sony doing motion controls.
Think about it, Nintendo was happy that Microsoft and Sony were adding motion controls to their respective consoles. They know when their motion controls got popular others would have no choice but to follow. That was the plan, once the competition fumbles with motion controls, Nintendo gets popular and makes money by bringing back all the classics. So Nintendo probably pulled off the biggest outwitting plan in video game history. (maniacal laughing!)
 * They'll probably do the same thing with 3D as well. Think about it, when the opposition starts to include 3D into their consoles (and possibly handhelds), they may start fumbling Virtual Boy style. After the Microsoft and Sony fanboys go blind, only those who believe in Nintendo will survive the impending apocalypse. These guys have probably been planning this from the very beginning. Their company has a Meaningful Name...
 * In the E3 of 2010, Nintendo released a set of games reflecting the classics. The competition? Casual gaming. At E3 of 2011, Nintendo is releasing information on the Wii 2. Again, eerily enough, it seems to be a return to traditional games.
 * Then bam, once they finally get Microsoft and Sony to follow in their footprints, Nintendo turns around and unleashes the Wii U onto the world.

Nintendo killed Segata Sanshiro
The missile attack on Sega’s headquarters was intended to draw out Segata Sanshiro, who Nintendo knew would sacrifice himself to save his beloved Sega. The only way for Nintendo to kill Segata Sanshiro was to force him to deflecting a missile barehanded, ride that missile out of the atmosphere, and explode in space – anything less wouldn’t have stopped him. Nintendo had the most to gain from slaying Sega Saturn’s incredibly awesome mascot.

Nintendo hates Shadow the Hedgehog
They made Rouge and Omega, his friends, boss characters. Shadow was playable.
 * Wha?
 * In Mario And Sonic at the Olympics.

The real reason Miyamoto has a gag order on his personal life...
Because no one would believe the truth that his game ideas come from personal experience. For example, he came up with Pikmin when he saw Olimar himself leading a Pikmin squad in his backyard garden.

We do not want to know what led him to design Devil World.

Nintendo's crap-radar uses an "AND" search instead of an "OR" search.
These guys are the patron saints of Surprise Creepy. The reason why is simple. Unlike many companies, which search for things like "Is it freaky OR is it surprisingly violent OR does it lend itself easily to Fridge Horror", Nintendo wonders "Is it freaky AND is it surprisingly violent AND does it lend itself easily to Fridge Horror". If it doesn't meet all the radar's searches, it gets a pass, explaining such wonders as the True Final Boss of Kirby's Dreamland 3, the main villain of Pokémon Black and White, and Ocarina of Time's Shadow Temple. And if a game should for some reason actually ping on the radar, it just gets published anyway as Eternal Darkness.

Miyamoto is training us to fight evil.
Think about it, many of the games he himself has written involve average everyday ordinary people (animal characters count) with extraordinary abilities:
 * Mario, an everyday handyman who can jump very high and has mushroom/star based powers.
 * Link, an odd job worker whom possesses unlimited courage.
 * Fox McCloud a fighter pilot whose skills in space are legendary.
 * Captain Olimar an astronaut whom has an entire race at his call.
 * Ness is an ordinary boy who has psychic powers and amazing friends.

Each of these characters have been leading albeit normal lives and jobs much like the real world and are called to adventure when the time comes.

The higher-ups at Nintendo can see into the future.

 * Seriously, they know what we want BEFORE WE WANT IT. Notice how when Nintendo comes out with something weird and new, everyone is skeptical, but when it comes out everyone tries it out and immediately wants it? And how the other big game makers try the same thing? People were skeptical about the Wii, but it became a huge hit and now the other companies are trying to make big motion-control software. Same with features of the Nintendo DS, the 3DS, and other game consoles. The only possible explanation is that the higher-ups can see into the future and take advantage of gaming trends.

Since the SNES, Nintendo (and Shigeru Miyamato) has tried to make things as hard on itself as possible, just for the challenge of it.

 * Why did they release the Virtual Boy in the first place? Why would they have let Sony go solo and create the Playstation, the system that ended Nintendo's unquestioned dominance? Why else would Miyamato then insist on cartridges, which led to the movement of Final Fantasy to the PS 1, giving it it's first Killer App? Why else have they refused to put a "real" Pokemon game on a home console? Why were they so slow with online and HD capabilities? Why do they not release some of the internet's most wanted games outside of Japan? Why do they yo-yo between "casual" and "hardcore" every decade or two? Why did they price the 3DS so high and then publicly and humiliatingly lower the price, causing their stock to dive the worst it had had in decades? Simple: they see it all as a game and they want to have a challenge.