Wintersmith/Quotes

"“This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.”"

"They say that there can never be two snowflakes that are exactly alike, but has anyone checked lately?"

"They carried sticks and wore white clothes with bells on them, to stop them from creeping up on people. No one likes an unexpected Morris dancer."

"It was in fact Miss Tick who had written Witch Hunting for Dumb People, and she made sure that copies of it found their way into those areas where people still believed that witches should be burned or drowned. Since the only witch ever likely to pass through these days was Miss Tick herself, it meant that if things did go wrong, she’d get a good night’s sleep and a decent meal before being thrown into the water."

"Miss Treason: “This seems an honorable enterprise. Why start by lying?” Rob Anybody: “Oh, the lie wuz goin’ tae be a lot more interestin’.” Miss Treason: “The truth of the matter seems quite interesting to me.” Rob Anybody: “Mebbe, but I wuz plannin’ on puttin’ in giants an’ pirates an’ magic weasels. Real value for the money!”"

"You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap. But you didn’t because, as Miss Tick had once explained: a) it would make the world a better place for only a very short time; b) it would then make the world a slightly worse place; and c) you’re not supposed to be as stupid as they are."

"That’s Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they’re the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone?"

"Miss Treason: "Oh, I know all about those stories. I made up most of them!” Tiffany: “You made up stories about yourself?” Miss Treason: “Oh, yes. Of course. Why not? I couldn’t leave something as important as that to amateurs.”"

"Rob turned the rustling pages and grinned. “Ach, she’s writ here: Oh, the dear Feegles ha’ turned up again,” he said. This met with general applause. “Ach, what a kind girl she is tae write that,” said Billy Bigchin. “Can I see?” He read: Oh dear, the Feegles have turned up again."

"It was called You, as in “You! Stop that!” and “You! Get off there!” When it came to names, Granny Weatherwax didn’t do fancy."

- On naming her kitten 'You'

"It was as if the idea of there being no Miss Treason was the wrong shape to put in anyone’s head. She was 113 years old, and they argued that it was practically unheard of for anyone to die aged 113."

"Some people think that “coven” is a word for a group of witches, and it’s true that’s what the dictionary says. But the real word for a group of witches is an “argument.”"

"It was wizard magic, showy and dangerous. Witches preferred to cut enemies dead with a look. There was no sense in killing your enemy. How would she know you’d won?"

"Petulia: “Then it’s all obvious. He’s a boy.” Tiffany: “What?” Petulia: “A boy. You know what they are? Blush, grunt, mumble, wibble? They’re pretty much all the same.”"

"She’d always been so nervous about getting them wrong that the first time she’d had to go out to deal with someone who looked dead—a young man who’d been in a horrible sawmill accident—she’d done every single test, even though she’d had to go and find his head."

"Miss Treason:“No mustard? What about pickled onions?”

Miss Treason: “No relishes in the next world? That’s dreadful! What about chutneys?”"

"The Feegles didn’t know the meaning of the word “fear.” Sometimes Tiffany wished they’d read a dictionary."

"Tiffany had looked up “strumpet” in the Unexpurgated Dictionary, and found it meant “a woman who is no better than she should be” and “a lady of easy virtue.” This, she decided after some working out, meant that Mrs. Gytha Ogg, known as Nanny, was a very respectable person. She found virtue easy, for one thing. And if she was no better than she should be, then she was just as good as she ought to be. She had a feeling that Miss Treason hadn’t meant this, but you couldn’t argue with logic."

"“When a bull coo meets a lady coo, he disna have tae say, ‘My heart goes bang-bang-bang when I see your wee face,’ ’cuz it’s kinda built intae their heads. People have it more difficult. Romancin’ is verra important, ye ken. Basically it’s a way the boy can get close to the girl wi’oot her attackin’ him and scratchin’ his eyes oot.”"

"Tiffany: "What else can I expect apart from…well, the feet?” Miss Tick: “I’m, er, checking. Ah…it says here that she was, I mean is, fairer than all the stars in heaven….” They all looked at Tiffany. Nanny Ogg: “You could try doing something with your hair.""

"The librarians were mysterious. It was said they could tell what book you needed just by looking at you, and they could take your voice away with a word."

"Rob Anybody: Er…I dinna wanta be a knee aboot this, but why is ye all here freezin’ tae death?” Head Librarian: “Our oxen wandered off, and alas, the snow’s too deep to walk through.” Rob Anybody: “Aye. But youse got a stove an’ all them dry ol’ books.” Head Librarian: “Yes, we know.” There was the kind of wretched pause you get when two people aren’t going to understand each other’s point of view at all."

"“They don’t think they’re poor, because everyone around here is poor! But they’re not so poor they can’t afford to do the right things! That would be poor!”"

"Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."

"“I warn you! I’ve got a Cornucopia and I’m not afraid to use it!”"

"Rob Anybody: “An’ hoo come ye ken whut name a cheese has?” Daft Wullie: “He told me, Rob.” Rob Anybody: “Aye? Oh, okay. I wouldna argue wi’ a cheese.”"

"Rob Anybody: “And ye know how tae fight?” Roland: “I’ve read the Manual of Swordsmanship all the way through!” Rob Anybody: “Ah, I think I’ve put ma finger on a wee flaw in this plan….”"
 * beat*

""There be a lot o’ men who became heroes ’cuz they wuz too scared tae run!""

"Rob Anybody: “An’ this one is a lot harder than Abker, right? That one was easy! An’ a very predictable plot. Whoever writted that book didna stretch himself, in ma opinion.” Billy Bigchin: “You mean The ABC?” Rob Anybody: “Aye.”"

"These Are the Things That Make a Man Iron enough to make a nail, Lime enough to paint a wall, Water enough to drown a dog, Sulfur enough to stop the fleas, Poison enough to kill a cow, Potash enough to wash a shirt, Gold enough to buy a bean, Silver enough to coat a pin, Lead enough to ballast a bird, Phosphor enough to light the town, Strength enough to build a home, Time enough to hold a child, Love enough to break a heart."