Zoofights



"It is a timeless struggle, a battle that has been fought countless times: the elemental conflict of crocodile with octopus legs and power tools versus giant sturgeon stuck onto a tank with a sword and a jet engine for a voice."

- Zoofights, in a nutshell.

Zoofights is an interactive story series hosted on the Something Awful forums, led primarily by the user Major Failure. Each "arc" of Zoofights (there have been six as of this writing) is about large and deadly animals facing one another in a blood sport that is both futuristic and old-timey (Zoofights 3, for example, took place in the late 1800s despite the extremely advanced technology present. They just wanted to have all the bystanders wearing monocles and top hats).

While it includes the odd scripted event, the outcome of Zoofights is not up to Major Failure or any of the people who actually write it. Rather, before each match, the readers are encouraged to vote for their winner, and their votes carry more weight if they come with fan art or detailed explanations of their choice (Simply saying "I vote for Steamcrab" results in your vote just being ignored. You need a reason).

As of Zoofights 4, a random element was added. Previously the winner was simply whoever had received more votes. In Zoofights 4 the numbers are plugged into a random number generator to get a result (as in, if monster 1 got 20 votes and monster 2 got 80, if the random number generator selected a 20 or lower monster 1 would pull off an upset).

Staples of the series include mutant animals, animals with parts of other animals attached, heavily mechanized animals, and one entrant growing so powerful that the remaining normal ones must join forces to defeat it.

The series has proved to be a winning formula, spawning lots of fan art (mostly drawings, but everything from plush toys to clay sculptures have been made) and a devoted community of fans further adding to the experience by role-playing as spectators.

Due to the fact that it is a Something Awful forum attraction, the first two Zoofights cannot be viewed by the average Internet denizen due to being too old, therefore requiring a Something Awful Archives account (which costs money). The third is available for public viewing regardless of whether you have a Something Awful forum account, as is the fifth one; however, the fourth requires the Archives account upgrade. Fortunately, all of the Zoofights story arcs save the second are currently hosted on the Zoofights website, and the (now over) Zoofights 6 can be seen here, since it's thread of Something Awful cannot be seen by non-members currently.

The Eighties-themed 6th series began on May 1st, 2011, and ended six-and-a-half months later.

In 2012, the Zoofights blog changed its format from an annual tournament to a series of "What If" fights. -

This Web Original work includes examples of:

"Gravitas Shortfall (on whether Lesko, Robotnik, and the two Doctors should continue their roleplay rivalry, and one of them got snippy): I'm sorry you think that MF taking time out from organising and drawing three fights in the week before he has to get married is a dick move. I know it must be terribly hard on you."
 * Zoofights 6--
 * A God Am I:
 * After the End: The setting for Zoofights 5.
 * Altar the Speed / Wedding Deadline: Not the tropes themselves, but Major Failure is "directing" Zoofights V at the same time as his wedding.

"Major Failure: I don't take sides because I love all of my monstrous children equally. Except The Mess. I hate drawing jaguars and I'm glad that asshole is dead."
 * Alternate Universe:
 * Always Male: Each and every fighter is referred to as "he" (or sometimes "it"). The trope persists even when Zoofights 4 introduced Tunguska, an alien queen, and in Zoofights 5, which brought in Blood 4 Oil, a giant mosquito. Only female mosquitoes suck blood. Blood 4 Oil sucks blood. Still called a "he". Update: It took until Round 2, but Major Failure did realize, yes, Blood 4 Oil/DRAAAAAAINAGE/Brutish Petroleum is female.
 * Aversions:
 * Bonus-fighter Widow Maker, a Dangerously Genre Savvy (seriously, it's listed as her chief strength) female praying mantis.
 * Zoofights VI seems to have bucked this trend somewhat, with Murducken (actually a terror bird with the requisite Big Muscly Arms TM and a microwave for a heart), Playing Mantis, and Teslacorn all being female.
 * Art Shift: Several folks contribute art to the series that Major Failure uses in the actual story alongside drawings of his own, resulting in some Art Shiftiness.
 * Authority Equals Asskicking: Presidential Seal, who as the name suggests, is an elephant seal who also happens to be President of the USA.
 * Awesome McCoolname: Half of all Zoofighters. Even those who are only mentioned in passing or happen to be fan creations tend to have awesome names, like Vuvuzebra, Citizen Cane, Widow Maker and Octopus Crime.
 * Badass: Oh The Huge Manatee, Steamcrab, Once Were Walrus, Ned Killy and Drillz (he's the leader!) of the Mangolin' Pangolians.
 * Badass in A Nice Suit: Bull Market wears an absurdly expensive carbon-fiber suit to fight in.
 * Badass Normal: Zoofights 1 - Retired police chief John Burnell of America's Scariest Police Chases!
 * Bee-Bee Gun: Tsar Bumble.
 * Berserk Button: Never, EVER call Croctopus "rubbish".
 * Big Bad: There's never an obvious one at the start, but just give it time...
 * Zoofights 1 -
 * Zoofights 2 -
 * Zoofights 3 -
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 5 -
 * Big Creepy Crawlies: Inquisipede, Blood 4 Oil, Sting Kong, Great Leap Forward.
 * Big Damn Heroes: Zoofights 1 -
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Bigger Is Better: Edward Tigerhands from Zoofights 3 was absolutely colossal in his final battle.
 * Body Horror: Many competitors, but the Swanmass from Zoofights 1 has to take the cake.
 * Book Ends: The second fight of the 5th tournament, Blood 4 Oil vs. Snake Preview, ended with  In the grand final;
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Bottled Heroic Resolve: Odinkaru, The Snapture
 * Brainwashed and Crazy: Hydrafficus, when it faced Inquisipede.
 * Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: The Mecha-Ants from Zoofights 4 recieve this treatment courtesy of a few Look Around You references. "Bless you, Mecha-Ants. Blants."
 * Breath Weapon: Bastard Shark, Hellpotamus
 * Brick Joke: Zoofights 5 -
 * Brother Chuck: Zoofights 3's Loser's League bracket listed a monster named The Necromonitron. It never competed nor was it described, and its would-be opponent was just given a bye.
 * Butt Monkey: The Tapogres are the biggest example, but Pep-Simian would also count.
 * Call Back: Every Zoofights has brought back a contender from a previous series, but always in a side or villain role instead of straight-up entering the tournament again.
 * Zoofights 2 -
 * Zoofights 3 -
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 5:
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Cannibal: from Bull Market's specs: "Eats Kobe beef every night. That is f*cked up man."
 * Canon Dis Continuity: Zoofights 2 is generally ignored - it wasn't put onto the official site until long after the others, and even then, it's still not the complete version. Major Failure has previously called it "the Star Wars Holiday Special of Zoofights".
 * Chainsaw Good: Oh the Huge Manatee, Captain Croctopus, Lawn Moa
 * Chest Burster:  and
 * Clean Cut: Zoofights 5 Royal Rumble -
 * Cliff Hanger: In Zoofights 6, the fight between.
 * Clothes Make the Superman: Oh The Huge Manatee is one of the most powerful competitors in all of Zoofights with his special armor suit on. With it off, he's... still a badass, but not protected or capable of really damaging anything.
 * Mr Ro-Boto from Zoofights 5 is much the same - outside of his suit, he's a pink dolphin. Inside his suit, however... actually, he's still not that impressive, to be honest.
 * Colonel Badass: Sturgeon General.
 * Combat Tentacles: Mechos, Croctopus, and.
 * Conservation of Ninjutsu: A common sight in Zoofights.
 * Zoofights 1 -
 * Zoofights 3 - Oh the Huge Manatee vs. Tapogres.
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 5 -
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Contest Winner Cameo: While Major Failure will often draw users' role-playing characters in the audience if they post often and prove entertaining, one match in Zoofights 5 took it to a new level. This Zoofights introduced "Fite Your Mates Nite", which depicts people's characters beating on each other as a bonus between fights. The winner receives a special vote worth 15 normal votes, redeemable on any match they'd like to influence.
 * Cool Boat: Zoofights 5 -
 * Cool Shades: Wolfbike, The Snapture (and all of his supporters), . Snapture's supporters kept their sutter-shades (and added a few new accessories) for The Eighties-themed Zoofights 6.
 * Speaking of Zoofights 6, the Mangolin' Pangolins all sported pairs of these.
 * Cool Sword: The Sturgeon General's cavalry saber. What makes it special? How about the fact that it's twelve feet long?
 * Crack Defeat: Sometimes the random number generator causes a major upset. Or, alternatively, a Joke Character receives a great deal of support against a much stronger opponent.
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 5 -
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Crapsack World: The world of Zoofights 5 has been devastated by nuclear war, and it's only now that civilisation has reached a level where Zoofights can start again. This is played up by the Goons roleplaying gamblers - instead of money, they're betting skulls, shards of rock, and unmutated squirrel testicles, amongst other things.
 * Create Your Own Villain: Most of the many villains of Zoofights would have never existed if it weren't for the Loser's League insisting on reanimating and upgrading defeated fighters. In fact, only two of the eight monsters that could have possibly been serious threats were going to show up whether the tournament happened or not -.
 * Creepy Child: Lilly Limbcake from Zoofights 3.
 * Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Croctopus.
 * Cult:  has at least one devoted follower.
 * The Walrus hails from post-apocalyptic New Zealand, where crazed druids worship the walrus character from the arcade game "New Zealand Story".
 * And in Zoofights 6,.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: The first semifinal of Zoofights 4 and Oh The Huge Manatee's first battle against the Tapogres.
 * Dangerously Genre Savvy: Bonus mini-fighter Widow Maker, a praying mantis.
 * Dartboard of Hate: Robotnik has a Lesko dartboard in his Death Egg.
 * Defeat Means Friendship:
 * Defiant to The End: Zoofights 4 -
 * Deliberate Injury Gambit: Zoofights 3 -  Zoofights 5 -
 * Double Knockout: Zoofights 3 -.
 * Dropped a Bridge On Him: Zoofights 3 -  and Zoofights 5 -  . Both are killed "offscreen", without a picture.
 * Also from Zoofights 5 -
 * Drop the Hammer: Odinkaru, The Greatest Shark on Earth
 * Duel to The Death}}: Virtually every battle ended with someone dying, but in the earlier rounds they get a second chance in the loser's bracket, so machinery and new flesh is grafted on and added to get the monstrosities working again.
 * Dumb Muscle: Reanimammut, Tapogres,, Smash Gordon, Barbarrimundi
 * Subverted with Dreadnautilus - he is described as very dim when in fact it is his teammates (three humans commanding him via walkie-talkies) that are the stupid ones. When their connection cuts out Dreadnautilus is shown to be quite clever.
 * And now Dreadnautilus has come full circle.
 * Dying Moment of Awesome: Zoofights 3 -
 * Earthshattering Kaboom: Zoofights 4 -  self-destruct attack turns Jupiter into a second sun.
 * Eenie Meenie Miny Moai: Tangaloa's club.
 * The Eighties: Zoofights 6. As for the events of Zoofights 5...
 * Eldritch Abomination / Cosmic Horror: Heart of Darkness,, and  . The management promises this won't happen in Zoofights VI, but you never know.
 * Enemy Mine: A recurring trope for the entire series.
 * Zoofights 1 -
 * Zoofights 3 -
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 5 -
 * Everything's Better With Dinosaurs: Grapplesaurus Rex, Imperaptor, Glaciosaur.
 * Everything's Better With Monkeys: Gibbons with Clubs for Arms, Chimp My Ride, Riot Yeti, Sting Kong.
 * Everything's Better With Penguins: The Penguin.
 * Everything's Deader With Zombies:
 * Messy Pig: Porky Punisher
 * Everything's Squishier With Cephalopods: Mechos, The Delegation, . Slammonite is also a cephalopod, but is definitely not that squishy.
 * may also qualify.
 * In Zoofights 5, Dreadnautilus. Granted, he's a nautilus and so not that squishy, but still.
 * Everything's Worse With Bears: Drillbjorn, Pandamander, Huggles T. Bear
 * Everything's Worse With Bees:
 * Everything's Even Worse With Sharks: Flying Tiger Sharks, Dakuvanga, and Bastard Shark
 * Exactly What It Says On the Tin: Entrant 12 in Zoofights 3 had the official name of . Which, really, is rather to the point.
 * Eye Beams: Hippos with Lasers for Eyes, Star Truck.
 * Eyepatch of Power: Oh The Huge Manatee,, Gadadhara
 * Eye Scream: Zoofights 6 -
 * Face Heel Turn and Heel Face Turn: The majority of Zoofights entrants are pretty amoral, but there are examples of some characters deciding to switch teams for one reason or another, like the occasion when  in Zoofights 3.
 * Zoofights 5 -
 * Zoofights 6 -.
 * Frickin' Laser Beams:
 * Funny Animal: The Walrus, Barbarrimundi.
 * Gargle Blaster: These are the specialty of Gezora, the Zoofights bartender. In fact, there are more Gargle Blasters than ordinary drinks.
 * General Ripper: The Sturgeon General.
 * Gentle Giant: Sting Kong.
 * Giant Flyer: The Mess, Blood 4 Oil, Count Smackula
 * Glorious Mother Russia: Tunguska.
 * Gold Tooth: Captain Croctopus.
 * Half the Man He Used To Be: Zoofights 4 - . Zoofights 5 -.
 * He Who Must Not Be Named:
 * Heroic Resolve: Mechos and the Red Banana.
 * Heroic Sacrifice:  in Zoofights 3.   in Zoofights 4.   in Zoofights V.
 * Heroic Second Wind:
 * High-Class Glass: Steamcrab.
 * Hive Queen / Mother of a Thousand Young:
 * Hoist By His Own Petard: Zoofights 5's final saw
 * Holy Hand Grenade: The secret weapon of  is a Holy Hand Grenade.
 * Hope Spot: Major Failure loves this trope. Virtually every battle swings back and forth a few times. One of the most ridiculous Hope Spots in all of history was the Loser's League Royal Rumble in Zoofights 4.
 * Name-checked in V, Sting Kong vs. Barbarrimundi.
 * Horny Vikings:
 * Impaled With Extreme Prejudice: Oh, The Huge Manatee vs. the Tapogres,
 * In Medias Res Bitches: For HWAAD vs. Cold Warlrus.
 * Joke Character: Wolfbike, A Cat With One Leg, Bikebike, A Jar of Frog Piss
 * In an interview about Zoofights 5, Major Failure gives a few hints of upcoming fighters. One of the creations he names is, which promptly started much joking and hypothesizing among the readers. However,.
 * Killer Rabbit: Zoofights 5 -
 * Kill It With Fire: Bastard Shark,
 * Leitmotif/Catch Phrase: "... a pair of big, muscly arms."
 * Lethal Joke Character:
 * Letters 2 Numbers: Blood 4 Oil.
 * In their fight against one another, Snake Preview manages to communicate with Blood 4 Oil by projecting a hologram. The hologram says . As it turns out,.
 * Light Is Not Good:
 * Loophole Abuse: Several times, competitors have smuggled in what the narrator refers to as "illegal" weaponry - and won with it. Examples include  in the very first fight of Zoofights 4 and   in a Loser's Bracket battle. But despite the weaponry being "illegal", both animals did not for an instant get in trouble, and neither did their sponsoring teams of humans. Apparently the weapons were more "unexpected" than anything else.
 * One of the rules of Zoofights is basically "No humans." In Zoofights V, the British team attempt to circumvent this with Smash Gordon, who is a neanderthal and thus doesn't quite count.
 * Made of Iron: The majority of competitors. Tends to become literal by the last few rounds.
 * Made of Plasticine: Tapogres.
 * Madness Mantra: DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES DISEASES
 * Whos this then coming along when I'm building a boat then lets have a look where are my nails I have a boat to build I'm BUILDING a BOAT I think they'd look ok on a boat, that boat I'M BUILDING. I want to be the CAPTAIN, I'm GONNA BUILD IT. BUT I'VE LOST MY NAILS bet they've got them...
 * Make Me Wanna Shout: Mr. Ro-Boto, Sturgeon General
 * Man On Fire: Zoofights 3 -
 * Mecha Mooks: The Zoofights 4 space station Gravitas Shortfall employed several dozen Mecha-Ants, which were built to repair the ship in the event of an accident. They are also equipped with laser guns to defend the station should it come under attack.
 * Melee a Trois: Zoofights 1's Royal Rumble. Zoofights 4 had a Royal Rumble, but it degenerated into a two-sided conflict instantly when everyone teamed up to fight.
 * Zoofights 5 continued with this tradition, this time having all 8 entries at each other's necks.
 * Mighty Glacier: The Snapture
 * Mix-and-Match Critters: Many. Heart of Darkness and Pandamander are two obvious examples.
 * Multiple Head Case: The Berlin Walrus, befitting his name, has two heads to represent capitalism and communism.
 * Named Weapons: Prejudice.
 * Nice Hat: Steamcrab, Captain Croctopus.
 * Nightmare Fuel Coloring Book: In Zoofights 3, Lilly Limbcake draws a picture of  dead and mangled in her diary.
 * No Good Deed Goes Unpunished:
 * Off-Model: Captain Croctopus' hat looks different every time it's shown.
 * In Zoofights 6,
 * Off With His Head:  ends with this in Zoofights 4.
 * Happens again in Zoofights 5 -.
 * And again in Zoofights 6 -
 * Ominous Crack: Zoofights 3 - the grand entrance of.
 * Only Sane Man: Zoofights 5 - The Sturgeon General and The Snapture are considerably more intelligent and aware than the other 14 competitors. While The Snapture can read, write, and speak (rare for a Zoofighter), and the Sturgeon General is very calculating and resourceful, the other competitors are handicapped to various degrees by things like extreme hatred, deep patriotism, brainwashing and conditioning, insanity, dumb radio operators, low mental capacity, and copious ammounts of alcohol.
 * People's Republic of Tyranny: North Korea is still like this, even in Zoofights. Their entrant to Zoofights 5, Great Leap Forward, furthers the "we're nice people" lie.
 * Popularity Power: Responsible for a few Crack Defeats.
 * Precision F-Strike:
 * Product Placement: If all goes well Zoofights IV will have Care Bears vs. My Little Pony in round 2 and Coke vs. Pepsi in the Losers League. What can I say, it's The Eighties.
 * Promoted Fanboy: You like Zoofights? You can draw? Well then come aboard - Major Failure's always looking for a helping hand. One good example is the user Empty Sandwich. He works with clay, and made models of some of the fighters in Zoofights 3 and 4. Come Zoofights 5 he now contributes directly to the fights, with his modeling work appearing in Croctopus vs. Pride and Prejudice, Sting Kong vs. Barbarrimundi, Great Leap Forward vs. The Snapture, and
 * Punny Name: Oh the Huge Manatee is probably the worst/best Punny Name in Zoofights.
 * Snake Preview of Zoofights 5 is also pretty punny. Zoofights just relishes silly names.
 * Let's not forget A GORILLION DOLLARS!
 * The Berlin/Cold Wa(r)lrus, Croaka Cola, Murducken, Cray Fish, Playing Mantis...
 * Quintessential British Gentleman: Zoofights 3 gives us Steamcrab. Oddly enough, Steamcrab isn't even British - he was Japan's entry.
 * Recycled in Space: Zoofights 4. It's like Zoofights 3, but IN SPACE!
 * Zoofights 5 is Zoofights After the End; Zoofights 6 is Zoofights in The Eighties.
 * Refuge in Audacity: Bisontrain, Edward Tigerhands, Wolfbike... Many of the competitors are absolutely ridiculous but in an awesome way.
 * Reveal Shot: Zoofights 6 -
 * Rock Beats Laser: Zoofights 5 -
 * Role Playing Game: The voters have included several Doctors, "Sad Aragorn", Steampunk Theodore Roosevelt, Lucifer, Snake Plissken, Aughra, (irradiated) Marie Curie, (mutated) Machiavelli, Sigmund Freud, the Robot Monster, the cockroach from Wall E, Alexander the Great, Kim Jong-Il (who was oddly silent during Great Leap Forward's round), Capt. Kirk, Daniel Plainview, Al Swearingen (co-bartended with Gezora in Zoofights 4), Paulie Walnuts, Spider Jerusalem, The Saint of Killers (who almost got into a fight with one of the more nihilistic Doctors), Dr. Robotnik, Dr. Weir, Scruffy the Janitor, Elohim's Pope (Benedict XVI -- no 'shopping necessary!), Buckaroo Banzai, Time Santa and his pal Doc Brown, an African warlord, an eye doctor, countless videogame and comicbook characters, random (photos of) real people, quite a few original characters, and several Keith Thompson characters. Oh, and Tim Buckley . However, there's a rule that the role-playing shouldn't get too out of hand least it get in the way of the actual fighting, which apparently happened in one of the earlier rounds to everyone's detriment.
 * Rule of Cool: The entire series, really. There's a train with a bison attached to it, for crying out loud.
 * Running Gag: GEZORA DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHISPERING.
 * Zoofights VI gives us Drillz (he's the leader!) of the Mangolin' Pangolins
 * Scarf of Asskicking:
 * Schedule Slip: Zoofights VI was plagued by delays and missed deadlines. Most of the trouble stems from the unforseen consequences of a longer Zoofights tournament interfering with the Major's IRL job.
 * Screaming Warrior: 'Nam Yeti, Smash Gordon.
 * Sensory Abuse: A video was posted to Youtube during Zoofights 4 purporting to be a look inside the mind of The Walrus. It was extremely loud and disorienting in there.
 * Sequel Hook:
 * Shell-Shocked Veteran: Oh the Huge Manatee.
 * Shoddy Knockoff Product: The WCW (World Creature Wars).
 * Shout-Out: Star Wars and the Sega Genesis are favorites.
 * Zoofights 5's round two match between  contained several Batman references, specifically
 * Zoofights 6: PW Botha of Johannesburg got an invitation. Bull Market has a sleazy gecko sidekick.
 * Smoking Is Cool: Oh the Huge Manatee, The Snapture.
 * In Zoofights 5, Major Failure at one point notes that the Zoofights corporation has received a large number of cigars as a "gift" from the BRUT-05 team. He then encourages everyone to smoke. A dozen or so roleplayers obligingly edited their role-play pictures to make their characters smoke.
 * Sole Survivor: Zoofights 4 -.
 * Soulless Shell:
 * Spot of Tea: Steamcrab brings a cup of tea to his first match.
 * Naturally led to Stiff Upper Lip.
 * Squishy Wizard: The Delegation has very powerful psychic abilities but cannot fight in actual hand-to-hand combat at all.
 * Das Ziegenmancer from Zoofights 2 is another good example. He has complete control over dead flesh, but in every other way he's just a regular goat.
 * Sssssnaketalk: Zoofights 5 -
 * Starfish Aliens:
 * Staying Alive:
 * Storming the Castle:
 * Stuff Blowing Up: It's a tradition to have a large explosion of some sort in the finale.
 * Zoofights 1 -
 * Zoofights 3 -
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Stylistic Suck: Aminal Warz
 * Sudden Sequel Death Syndrome:
 * Superweapon Surprise: Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Take a Third Option: Zoofights 5 -
 * Actually started earlier with Smash Gordon vs. Sturgeon General.
 * Since they're the only truly heroic characters in ZF6 there's been several friendship votes for.
 * Take Over the World: OF COURSE!
 * Zoofights 1 -
 * Zoofights 3 -
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Zoofights 5 - Twice.
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Taking You With Me:
 * The Last Dance:
 * The Messiah: In a way,  in Zoofights V.
 * The Power of Rock: This is how  manages to defeat his opponent under seemingly impossible odds.
 * The Unfavorite: The Mess.
 * The Messiah: In a way,  in Zoofights V.
 * The Power of Rock: This is how  manages to defeat his opponent under seemingly impossible odds.
 * The Unfavorite: The Mess.


 * Third Person Person: Gezora.
 * Together in Death:.
 * Tragic Monster: Project K shows hints of this.
 * Turned Against Their Masters: Happens at least once per story. In Zoofights 4 it occurred on no fewer than three occasions.
 * And in Zoofights V
 * Turtle Power: Hydrafficus, The Snapture
 * Unexpected Genre Change: The series is usually a dark action-comedy. It tends to veer terribly into straight-up horror towards the end of each arc.
 * Especially when Lilly Limbcake or H.H. Johnson update their journals.
 * Unexplained Recovery: Zoofights 5 -
 * Unsound Effect: Lots in the more comic-styled fight pictures.
 * Vodka Drunkenski: Reannimammut has vodka tanks built into him so he can drink up whenever the mood strikes.
 * Warrior Heaven: Drillbjorn's ultimate goal is to die in glorious combat so that he can ascend to one.
 * Weaponized Animal: Oh jeez, all of them.
 * We Hardly Knew Ye: A few Zoofights competitors only ever fought in a single battle. They are:
 * Zoofights 3 -.
 * Zoofights 4 -
 * Wham! Episode: VI:
 * Wham! Line: Zoofights 6 boasts several.
 * Round 2, Fight 4 -
 * Royal Rumble -
 * Final - A wham word.
 * Worthy Opponent: Zoofights 3, semifinal 1.
 * Zerg Rush: Seen several times.
 * Zoofights 1 - A Thousand Rats, Jetpack Tarantulas
 * Zoofights 3 - An utterly miserable attempt by the Tapogres
 * Zoofights 5 -
 * Zoofights 6 -
 * Zoofights 6 -