Bennett the Sage/Funny

"The guard: The message said the princess will be returned in exchange for The Ginrayu Sword. One man is to take this sword to them tomorrow night. If the man is not met, the princess will be raped and then killed. And her body left for dogs to pick over.
 * Anytime he reads the typos out loud in My Immortal.
 * Near the end, after the umpteenth pun is explained with a "geddit cuz im goffik", a caption appears onscreen in massive letters: "FOR THE LAST TIME, YES, WE GET IT!"
 * In his reading of Cloud Mows The Lawn, he inserts footage of him eating a Baby Ruth bar in slow motion while reading a particularly disgusting scat scene.
 * Renaming the characters (Pounder McPeen, Suzie Creamcheese, Catface Meowmers) during his review of Urotsukidouji.
 * Bennett having a discussion with KaiserNeko of Team Four Star (his censor for nudity). Kaiser (in Gratuitous Japanese) admits he shall work hard at censoring. For Great Justice.
 * Bennett's streak of renaming characters in all of his reviews. Mad Bull 34 has "Brick Shithouse" for the title character and Doomed Megalopolis has the uncle being renamed to Otacon (with Liquid Snake as his voice actor, no less).
 * During the Angel Cop review, just as the villains are revealed to be the Americans, Bennett shouts out "The Jews!", who were the villains in the original Japanese version. After explaining it, for the rest of the review, he keeps mumbling the word whenever describing the plot, which eventually gets really ridiculous.
 * Another funny bit is his mockery of the main "heroine", who he calls Bitch Tits: "Dammit!! I wanted to be the one who murders them... arrest them!"
 * From his reading of The Wolf Blood Lineage; "Like the Invisible Man jerking off, that came out of nowhere.
 * From Sword for Truth review:

Sage: Then they'll kill the dogs, prepared them in the soup, and trick her parents into eating said soup. Then they'll summon the damned spirit of their daughter to tell them that they have, essentially, eaten her. [Beat] I think they mean business."

"...and why does the... "king", sound a drunk Mexican laborer going through puberty?"
 * Pretty much everything about the Diatron-5 crossover review with Spoony, particularly the on-the-nose audio descriptions.

"Sage: Hi, Bennett the Sage here with my two very, very close friends, Lewis Lovhaug, Linkara... Linkara: I was told that I was going to have fruit in my trailer.
 * The commentaries for "Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned" and "Diatron-5" are pure gold, done as a double act so that Spoony and Linkara can provide their thoughts on the crossover they weren't in. The crowner is the mental image of Edward Cullen in a Dracula cape.

Sage: *sigh* And I'm also here with the one, the only, the Spoony One, Noah Antwiler. How you doin, Spoony?

Spoony: Once we're done with this, you're gonna send me those photos, right?

Sage: *sigh* Goddammit."


 * Bennett explaining the break neck paced finale of "Kite" in under a minute. Complete with three drawn out deep breaths and the William Tell Overture playing in the background.
 * Also, censoring the more risque scenes with KaiserNeko's face.
 * Sage's Marlon Brando impression in his Akira review, as a dig at one of the voice actors in the first English dub.