Hercules (1997 film)/Funny

"Titans: DESTROY ZEUS!!!
 * Almost all of the scenes with Hades (played by James Woods, who apparently improvised many of his lines). The numerous mythical/historical in-jokes were also great.
 * An example of Hades's wellspring of comedy:

Hades: Uhh, guys? Olympus would be that way.

Titans: (look at Olympus like "WTF...?", then turn around and walk towards it) ...DESTROY ZEUS!!!"

"Hades: I am about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one SCHLEMIEL who can louse it up IS WALTZING AROUND IN THE WOODS!"
 * Nearly every time Hades goes off on one of his rants.

"Hades: What...are...those?
 * Upon finding that Pain is wearing Air-Hercs:

Pain: Um, I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.

Hades (getting flamier with each phrase): I've got twenty four hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme that I've been setting up for eighteen years goes up in smoke, and you...are wearing...HIS MERCHANDIIIISE?!

(Hades almost flames Pain before distracted by Panic drinking some Hercu-lade.)

Panic (nervously): Oh! Ha ha. Thirsty?

(Hades shouts in rage. Cut to the mountain exploding in the distance as the city shakes.)"

"Pain: This might be a different Hercules.
 * And before that:

Panic: Yeah, I mean Hercules is a (choked by Hades) 'VERY POPULAR NAME NOWADAYS.

Pain: Remember, like, a few years ago every other boy was named Jason and the girls were only Brittany?!"

"Hades: "Guys! Get your Titanic rears in gear and KICK! SOME OLYMPIAN! BUTT!"
 * Later:

(Pegasus sneaks up and blows on him)

Hades: "Woah, is my hair out?""

"Hercules: "Aren't you... a damsel in distress?
 * "How sentimental. (Fakes being emotional) You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh?! (Beat) So what is this? An audience or a mosaic?"
 * The Hercules/Aladdin Crossover: "What is that, some kind of bronchial thing?"
 * The brave, heroic title character that just awesomely KO'd a centaur that was more than quadruple his size (which is really saying something) being reduced to a stuttering, adorkable Shrinking Violet when he first meets Meg.
 * Meg's Establishing Character Moment;

Meg: "I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.""

"Pain: (begging for Pegasus to not hurt them) You know...I was really attracted to you.
 * The surprised and gobsmacked looks on the Hydra's faces, accompanied by a confused "nyeer?" noise, right before Herc.
 * Hermes being captured by Pain and Panic. And later when he gets his revenge on them.
 * Also Pegasus getting his revenge on Pain and Panic.

Beat down ensues."

"Meg: You're really choked up about this, aren't you?"
 * Hercules punching Hades face inward when he's in the throes of a Villainous Breakdown.
 * Hercules perks up once he hears that some kids have been trapped in a rock slide, since it means he can prove himself as a hero. Meg, not knowing the reason he was happy, has this to say: