Homestuck/WMG/Unified

The Magic Cue Ball was the Cue Bullet Spades Slick used to kill Snowman
The all-knowing Magic Cue Ball entered the timeline at the death of the Troll's universe from the "Deudly" gun Doc Scratch gave Slick.

About God Tier deaths...
I think whether a player who achieved god tier can be killed depends on the players perception of their death. Vriska showed obvious feelings of guilt after killing Tavros, so she herself might have thought of her death as "just". John on the other hand got sucker-stabbed, which is neither heroic nor just by any standards. It just seems better than letting the rather subjective terms "just" and "heroic" decide, and would give the whole god tier thing a nice new spin, meaning that gods can only be killed if they themselves think they ought to be.
 * Vriska's death is ambiguous and thus can't really be regarded. John as you say, was stabbed in a fight long before that fight had any meaning to him or anyone else beyond pure emotional rage, so he didn't qualify as heroic. Now if say, John were to fight Jack again, alone, that would probably be heroic.
 * This troper agrees that Vriska's death cannot be used as an example, since her clock was broken by Spades Slick prior to her death.
 * Aradia's death offscreen seems to support this, as it was a willing Heroic Sacrifice.
 * It may simply be that Skaia/Paradox Space decides.

Karkat is responsible for why the humans' blood is like his (among other things).
There are many similarities between Earth and Alternia, and although one could say that it's merely because the trolls made the kids' universe, it could use a better explanation. Taking a peek at this image, one can clearly see an arc of energy reaching over to Karkat's hand. It is not that much of a stretch to assume that somehow that arc of energy took his ambitions, thoughts, memories, and probably even genetic code as a template for how Earth was to be crafted. And considering Karkat's place outside the Hemospectrum, he may have wanted a place where the color of one's blood didn't matter.

The other trolls probably had some effect on the humans' world, but Karkat seems to be the deciding factor here.
 * Karkat and Kanaya were the main shaping factors for our universe, because they were the ones who made B. Slick. Earth itself is only one among potentially many civilizations in that universe.

Frogs played the first session.
The Frog Temples being located on both Alternia and Earth was not a coincidence. The very, VERY first game of S Burb was played by a race of amphibious frog creatures who's session would be the bare bones backbone of how a normal session would go, not even having any Exiles to manipulate things behind the scenes. The last bastion of there civilization, the Frog Temple, was then used and recreated on every single session there after, becoming a major landmark players would use as a safe haven or some other purpose to help players along. Eventually, a session occurred where the Black Queen started hating frogs and making their existence in any shape or form illegal in Derse as the game's equalizing mechanism to balance out the Frog Temple's importance. However, it gave astute and clever players a major weakness to help cripple Derse's royalty who found this out and correctly used it against her.
 * Under this theory, Bilious Slick would be the original "leader" (taking the position of John or Karkat), yes?
 * Problems, since Sburb is timeless, any session could be said to be the first.
 * The First would be the one that wasn't created by any other session...
 * And given the nature of Sburb, it's entirely likely there isn't such a session.

The kids will defeat the superpowered, allegedly unbeatable Jack Noir in the end
It appears practically impossible at this point, and it would be extremely awesome. Ergo, it has to happen. Maybe now that Jack has scratched himself into the trolls' session, he'll bring them back with him somehow, and then the kids and the trolls will team up against him in an extremely epic battle. A bit of reinforcement: remember that the third Arc Number, 10-25, is the sum of the previous two numbers, 4-13 (the kids' number) and 6-12 (the trolls' number). This implies some sort of synthesis between the two sessions.
 * Most of Act 5 Act 2 has been devoted to this. It's not easy and actually if done correctly will make him an enormous Anticlimax Boss.
 * At this point Jack is more or less outclassed. If the kids and the trolls really do team up, he'll be facing five God Tiers, one of whom is pretty much omnipotent like him, as well as his own Good Counterpart who has all of his powers.
 * Actually, when you take everything into account, Jack would be facing all four god-teir kids, one of which has first-guardian powers; three or more trolls, powerful from their Sburb session; PM, who also has first-gaurdian powers; plus probably many more characters.
 * Exactly. Meaning that defeating Jack is no longer a huge priority.
 * It's possible that Jack will just stay where he is, rampantly destroying things/dueling with PM.

Bec Noir is killing/will be killing/has been killing the Horrorterrors
All thanks to the Scratch letting him get to where they are. Or maybe he can just warp to them now with his teleportation.
 * Most likely option is that he chases the trolls out into the Ring while they try to escape.

Lord English is killing/will be killing/has been killing the Horrorterrors
It's implied that destroying the Herrorterrors is related to stopping the propagation of universes, thereby ensuring that nothing will ever be made again. Lord English is trying to make that happen...and he's manipulated everyone in both sessions to help him do it.
 * English played the Horrorterrors so maybe.
 * Andrew Hussie implied that Skipper Plumbthroat was the kiddy reperesentation of Lord English. Skipper Plumbthroat is known to kill Squiddles. And as Squiddles are the kiddy reperesentation of the Horrorterrors...

Derse Dreamers vs Prospit Dreamers
Derse dreamers are too cynical to really grow up; they are trying too hard to be adults. They need to mature by letting go and enjoying their time left as kids. Prospit dreamers are too idealistic to really grow up; they aren't trying hard enough. They need to mature by wising up and taking responsibility for their lives. These are the "ultimate goals" for the game that Hussie once spoke of, so long ago. This is based off of an analysis of the kids, who it fits best. Some of the trolls cause problems for the theory, as detailed bellow. Note that pre-game personality is all that applies. In- and post-game, we have seen maturation and mellowing towards the middle that sBurb/sGrub seems to be shooting for.
 * Vriska and Nepeta: These two seem to have landed on the wrong planet. They are the biggest problems with the theory. Vriska is totally cynical, Nepeta is totally idealistic, as far as we see. Perhaps Vriska is fantasizing her romances too much (ie, she thinks she's the troll equivalent of a princess waiting for her prince charming)? Nepeta I really can't resolve. Is she too focused on her moirail to focus on herself?
 * Don't forget Feferi is a Derse dreamer. But going with Jossed. There seems to be no correlation between dreamselves and personality. While dreamselves are still rather mysterious, there's far simpler explanations at play for all known sessions. For the Trolls it was broken between the Red Team and Blue Team, and Sollux was an outlier (as he worked heavily with both teams). For the humans, it's simply genetics.

Class roles
in no particular order, and with varying degrees of sense:
 * Knight: standard combat class. See Dave, Karkat
 * Confirmed by Aradia.
 * To be more specific though, a class the functions off protection their aspect, or protecting others using their aspect.
 * Witch: Heavy artillery. Functions like the D&D wizard.
 * Artillery functions have not been shown, but witches seem to be able to manipulate their Aspect in their surroundings. Jade's abilities are confused by her sprite & first guardian powers, but she has shown the ability to manipulate the size and position of objects. The Condesce can extend lives. God Tier Feferi can heal, possibly as another manifestation of 'extending life'.
 * Heir: Magikarp Power based combat class. John clearly; Equius, had he lasted longer, might have learned to actually use a bow, since he already had epic mangrit.
 * Or perhaps just a class that is passively supported by their aspect. Equius' only confirmed power was the psychic void around him; John initially could only manifest the Windy Thing to protect himself.
 * Sylph: Like the Witch, but more of a healing and buffing focus. Closer to a cleric than a wizard.
 * Seemingly confirmed by Aranea. Kanaya seems to be a small exception as she never displayed any healing abilities, but then again she has never displayed her Space abilities period. They also do seem to be the passive counterpart to a Witch, both being exclusively female.
 * Mage: Superwitch. Totally helpless if somehow deprived of class powers, but ultra-powerful (note that Sollux can casually fly from Derse to LOBAF on the first rung of his echeladder. Jade, flying around Prospit, appears confined to street level.)
 * The only powers Sollux has demonstrated that tie into his Aspect as the Hero of Doom is his ability to see the "soon to be dead." It's possible that the Mage is more of an information-related class, like the Seer, and that Sollux's telekinetic and energy blast powers are unrelated, like many of the trolls' psychic abilities.
 * Mage very well could be a passive counterpart to Knight.
 * I think it would be interesting if, as the Mage of Doom, Sollux's prophecies came true because he made them: as opposed to the Seer's abilities to find information, whatever Sollux says becomes true as an effect of his powers, for better or for worse (which as the Doom player, means worse). This might make the Mage more of an active Seer.
 * Seer: Exactly what Scratch's narration says it is: an information and prediction based support class
 * Confirmed by Aradia and Doc Scratch.
 * Thief: Primarily a support class, based on buffing/debuffing. This would fit with Vriska's luck powers and, in a more meta way, with her tendency to hunt down every last bit of treasure and gain ALL the levels.
 * Confirmed by UU. Basically Thieves steal an aspect from their enemies to strengthen themselves.
 * Also Jossed by UU. Thieves are not a support class. They are an active class who use their abilities for their own benefit.
 * Page: Support class, meant to work with and enhance the Knight, Heir, or Prince. Near useless on its own, or with any other class.
 * Maybe not exclusive to those classes, but I'd say that if the Knight is "one who protects X or protects via X", then the Page could be "one who strengthens or empowers (via) X".
 * Hinted by Jake's brain ghost of Dirk to be an extreme Magikarp Power class.
 * Prince: Even more combat focused than the knight, with no other abilities. Alternately, we have no clue, because Eridan was a terrible Prince.
 * Scratch that, before he unlocked anything that even looked like his attribute ability he killed each and every angel on his planet which took minutes of sustained fire for every single one. Later on he managed to one hit KO's three of his teamates. He is not a terrible Prince, he is a terrible person.
 * According to UU, Princes are The Nuker, they're an active class that destroys.
 * Making the original idea Confirmed
 * Specifically, they destroy their Aspect or destroy through it.
 * As a destroyer, destroying nigh indestructible allied constructs makes him, as said above, a great prince, especially when he is now "destroyer of hope," ending any hope for his species' sustained existance effectively makes him the greatest prince of hope of all time...
 * Another possibility: Glass Cannon. Princes pay for their obscene destructive power by having a miniscule hp pool. Think about it: the only time all princes we've seen take any amount of damage more than minor bumps or bruises, they die. (Bro avoided every attack made on him except the one one that killed him, and Eridan always managed to attack first without taking damage, except once.)
 * Bard: Support class meant to be used during the quest. The Bard's planet would be the ideal resting place, with no super-lethal minions and relatively few sidequests. The class itself would be more element dependent.
 * According to UU, Bards are the wildcard, a passive class that interacts with it's element.
 * Specifically, they are a destroyer class and the passive counterpart to the Prince. They either allow others to destroy their Aspect or invite destruction through it, as if through its will.
 * Maid: Another support class, along the lines of the seer, but specialized to aid a single other player: the leader. The Maid will have some ability that allows the leader to function as such. For Aradia, this was her timeline management, as discussed by Karkat.
 * Alternately, the Maid could responsible for the management of their Aspect -- an inversion of the Heir who seems more passively supported by their Aspect.
 * Rogue: A combat support class capable of working with any other melee class. Not all that great on its own, but absolutely owns when working with a partner, see Nepeta the best moirall ever.
 * Jossed by UU, as she says that a Rogue is basically a support version of the Thief class, in which it steals to help out his/her teammates.

The Hero of Space is always awake early, always on Prospit, and always tied to the First Guardian
We have Jade, Witch of Space, awake on Prospit before the start of sBurb, and closely tied to Bec. We then have Kanaya, Sylph of Space, awake on Prospit before the start of sGrub, and (somewhat more tangentially) tied to Doc Scratch. We do have one other character awake early (Terezi), but her awakening seems to be due to either the trauma of her blinding and the events leading up to it or, more likely, the way in which her lusi (yay Latin!) mind control/telepathy works.
 * A related theory: Each session must have a Space and a Time player- the Space player being essential to winning the game while the Time player's Scratch function is essential to not losing. As such, the Time player will always awaken on Derse to balance out the Space player, possibly with a unique condition to their 'awakening' (Dave was 'half-awake' on Derse prior to entering, while Aradia's dreamself was still asleep on her quest bed).
 * The latter is basically confirmed, while the former has been implied so strongly that it's head-scratching that Jake, who is probably not the Hero of Space, lives at the same frog temple as Jade and Kanaya (something you forgot), or that Jane, equally unlikely to be the Hero of Space, has woken up early on Prospit.
 * Additionally, both seen Heroes of Space were female, probably partially because of their breeding duties.
 * The thing about every session having certain heroes with certain roles is Jossed, though not the rest of it. The alpha session has heroes of life, hope, heart, and void, lacking space and time. The troll's pre-scratch session is treated different, so why can't the alpha?
 * Jade and Dave will be Alpha's space and time players.
 * We already know the alpha session is flawed, which means the lack of Space and Time players could be a result of that.
 * Personally, this Troper believes the lack of Space and Time players could be a result of Skaia being all-seeing and knowing well ahead of time that the Pre-Scratch players would break conventions by breaking through the barrier between the two versions of the session.

UU is Lord English under a Gender Bender.
Consider:
 * 1) The older meaning of Uranian.
 * 2) Jake seems to be the grandson of Jade and Lord English; it was said earlier that if Jade knew English's name, she "would understand terror no human ever has." Between these, it seems likely Jade is the grandson of Jake and some kind of "Lady English."
 * This makes no logical sense; we've seen that Jade is the child of Grandpa Harley and Nanna Egbert, who are biologically not related to any other humans.
 * 1) Similarly, UU tells Jake that "it may be for the best" he never know her name.
 * 2) Her computer is marked with the Caduceus, often a symbol of Tiresias.
 * UU, uniquely among the cast, uses English spellings and often "English" turns of phrase, her quirk emphasizing the shibboleth letter U.
 * Jossed. She's a troll and has shown no relation to English
 * Neither of these things have been firmly established at this point in time. We know that she has grey skin and horns, but we also know that she's a fangirl, so she could be cosplaying. We know absolutely nothing one way or another about her potential relationship with Lord English.
 * She cannot be cosplaying unless she drained all of her blood and then pigmented it! She also has no idea how humans reproduce. She is absolutely a troll.
 * So... Jossed?
 * Can't be called. While she's clearly not human, there's no indication she cannot be an alternate version of Lord English, who after all has never been directly stated to be the same in every universe.

UU is a half-human half-troll from the new universe created with this reset session.
After all, we remember how Rose's walkthrough influenced the troll session.
 * She's at least several universes removed, as she has enough sessions to seriously study all the mythological roles in detail. She doesn't seem human at all though, having no idea how they reproduce.
 * She could have studied the universes before the original trolls, or Rose's notes on the subject

The Hero of Life's function
Two theories here, one versus the other:
 * The Hero of Life is incapable of being killed outside the Medium, at least once. This would mean that Feferi and HIC's abilities to resist the Vast Glub were not connected to their blood, but rather to their roles as the Hero of Life. This would also mean that Jane miraculously survives the explosion.
 * The Hero of Life is the first to die in each session, and must continue their work from their dreamself or dream bubbles to ensure the survival of the other players. As none of the players were killed in the Trolls' session during the course of the game, Feferi's death was unnecessary; she was, however, the first troll to be killed in the Medium. Jane's explosion may lead to her playing the rest of the game as her dreamself, leading to the revival of Jake's.
 * Jane did survive the explosion, though through God-Cat's interference. It seems the second theory is Jossed, as Sollux died due to the Vast Glub or Aradia died due to Vriska's machinations, depending on how you define the session.

Alternate role interpretation
Based around two of them, life and hope. Both life and hope are based, at least partially, not around the presence of it, but the lack of it and working round that. Both in Jake and Eridan's cases, the hope is lost (Eridan destroying the matriorb/ Jake being dream-dead pre entry), but the recipe modus sugests that they may be able to reverse-engineer stuff to get a new matriorb, and Jake could go the same way as Jade, fixing both issues. Likewise, Feferi dies and Jane looks like she may be going the same way, but Feferi has the dream bubbles and its too early to tell with Jane. How this ties in with Sburb/Sgrub, I have no idea though.

Spades Slick will somehow enter an alternate universe and aid in the eventual defeat of Lord English.
How is this possible? simple, Slick owning Die's voodoo doll that lets you enter a timeline where someone is alive or dead is not a thing that stopped being true, and we also know that Snowman does have a pin, this can be used to escape the universe that is being destroyed. Evidence for this is that in the page where Hussie is going "There are still characters I haven't killed yet!" Spades Slick has a question mark rather than an X, this combined with Die's voodoo doll means he almost certainly is somehow going to be relevant in the future, as I said he will probably want to help defeat Lord English, after all he knows that he needs to utilize glitches in time to hurt him.
 * It's damn near impossible to fit the original Midnight Crew intermission into a coherent spot on the timeline.
 * Though the fact that Hussie somehow managed to rescue Slick and is in the process of cybernetically repairing him does help increase the possibility of this WMG...
 * And now Slick is loose on some planet that seems to be Post-Scratch Earth.

The Scratch activates Mercy Mode.
Specifically, it targets the part of the game the players had the most trouble with. The pre-scratch trolls had the most trouble with combat, so the post-scratch trolls are Proud Warrior Race Guys. The pre-scratch kids had the most trouble with figuring out how the game works, so the post-scratch kids are already familiar with things like grist and the echeladder.
 * Seems to actually be inverted.
 * Scratches are done to make a game winnable; that does not necessarily entail making them easier. The Troll Sessions aren't comparable, as the difficulty of the Pre-Scratch Session is unknown, while the Human Sessions don't even face the same challenges, with the Pre-Scratch Session revolving more around combat, while the Post-Scratch Session as of yet has none.

It is possible for a session to be Scratched more than once, if necessary to win.
Recall that all of the kids' "ancestors" had their own thing going on during the Beta session. Grandpa Harley was somehow time-traveling and freely moving between Earth and the Medium, Rose's Mom possibly worked at or possibly even OWNED a Skaia Net laboratory, Bro started the Scratch during Round 1 with Jack, and Dad... well, you get the idea. Add to that the fact that the sessions are named after the editions of Sburb: ALPHA and BETA, and that the BETA session was, oddly enough, presented first. Perhaps the Alpha!Kids are actually having their second go at the game, and were using memories of their first Alpha session to advance the Beta behind the scenes?
 * Or, failing that, then perhaps the order of the sessions is somehow irrelevant- perhaps another attribute of Paradox Space- and the "ancestors" in the Beta session were recalling memories of the not-yet-occurring Alpha session, providing the necessity for only one Scratch.
 * Neither of the two known sessions to scratch have demonstrated this capability. Failing some sort of Word of God via UU, we'll never know conclusively either.
 * Word of God via Rose seems to suggest that as long as there's a Hero of Time, a session can Scratch as many times as need be, presumably shuffling up players more than just Ancestors and Players switching places.

A successful session will always have an equal number of Active and Passive classes amongst player ranks.
From what I'm seeing, it looks like John, Dave and Jade all had active classes in the Beta session, leaving an imbalance as Rose was the only passive. Now in the Alpha session, there is only one confirmed active class member and all of the others sound like passive classes. Perhaps due to some balance of power being required, all sessions must have an equal number of each? Thus a 2-player session would not be winnable if both players were active classes.
 * 4 kids = 1 passive + 3 active.

Some random, previously mentioned character will end up being a ???? of Doom for the Alpha Session.
Just some candidates: Fedora Freak, Uranian Umbra, Dave Sprite, Comb Titan (Fedora Freak's cousin/guardeeinthebetasession/guardianinthealphasession). Dave Sprite is from a doomed timeline, Uranian Umbra could easily cause some doom, if it's NOT Fedora Freak, he's doomed to obscurity, and Comb Titan would be doomed to nonexistence.
 * UU is in her own session, and the Alpha Session's mythology has heavily suggested there are only 8 players. Nothing to suggest otherwise has even been hinted at. Besides there are 4 elements not used in the Alpha Session, and Doom is merely one of them. No need for them to show up.
 * The Alpha session's mythology doesn't seem to account for the incoming trolls, only knowing that there will be 8 player planets.
 * It cannot be Fedora Freak, as Word of God names him as the Gent of Piss.

All sixteen characters will somehow reach God Tier.
Including all the ones with dead dreamselves and, in Tavros's case, dead realselves. IT WILL HAPPEN SOMEHOW.
 * Not to spoil fandom or anything but that is highly unlikely and also impractical.
 * Dave Strider is to cool for godtier. This fact is cannon it was mentioned that Dave made a better hero of time than Aradia.
 * Though Hussie has confirmed on his formspring that Godtier merch will be available for all 16 elements and that they would be revealed through story telling and fan service.
 * As of the end of Act 5, all four kids are god-tier - yes, even Dave. The trolls look a lot less likely though...
 * Though Gamzee reached them... somehow.

The biggest Stable Time Loop(s) of them all will bring in existence all of the things with unknown origins. All of them.
The trolls and kids will be involved in a Stable Time Loop (or several) which will create the Furthest Ring, the horrorterrors, the Green Sun, Lord English, and even the game itself. Stable Time Loops are already responsible for a whole lot of what happens, including the players becoming players and the players even existing in the first place, so from a Doylist perspective everything being because of time loops fits thematically and neatly ties everything up.
 * There's no indication that their session will create the entire multiverse which is basically what the cycle of Sburb is.
 * On the other hand, as of the end of Act 5 they've already created the Green Sun...
 * Tenatively jossed by UU

If your Dream Self dies on your Quest Bed, your Real Self awakens as God Tier.
It's basically the same thing (facing death and conquering it), so why not? Plus it'd be convenient if the rest of the Kids are going to reach God Tier.
 * Alternitively it does not need to be your personal Quest Bed, as long as aspect of the bed and player match up.
 * Dream Bubble!Quest Bed same as Physical!Quest Bed.
 * Awakened dreamselves can die on a bed in the moon of Prospit or Derse and still god tier, so, half confirmed.

Speculation regarding the other mythological roles not explained by the characters or story.

 * Blood: The ability to take a lot of hits and not die, AKA super endurance. As a leader, this is good to have. Also recall that when he was stabbed by Jack, he was more concerned with hiding his blood color rather than OH GOD THIS STRANGE MAN HAS SHOWN ME HIS STABS.
 * Alternately, it's something to do with his ability to accurately read and deal with interpersonal relationships (blood = family), and getting people to work together (sorta like Terezi's Seer of Mind abiliy, but with a different focus.)
 * Possibly the second, not the first. All trolls are Made of Iron and even fairly serious wounds don't bother them.
 * Could also have something to do with why Kanaya alone came back to "life" after being kissed without a dreamself ...as a blood-drinking undead creature.
 * Doom: Whatever Sollux "predicts" happens, whether he actually likes the outcome or not. Not always in his favor, and people will not believe you when you try to tell them.
 * Sollux can hear the voice of the soon-to-be-dead warning him of their fates. The role could have something to do with death, ill fortune, or non-Alpha timelines.
 * Heart: The ability to empathize, both with enemies and allies alike. The ultimate moirail ability. And of note, a Heart's ability to communicate with beasts is ultimately not the same strength as Tavros' c♉MMUNION, ability.
 * UU has indicated that this Aspect has more to do with souls and a sense of identity.
 * Void: Being able to create a vacuum of a certain radius around him and being able to survive in any vacuum. As he is very STRONG, Equius will never find a use for this. Certainly not if he stays dead.
 * Immune to Fate
 * Going to say myself that this is unlikely since it would massively violate all we know about how time and predestination works in Homestuck.
 * The first is Jossed by UU. The power of Void is one of concealing or destroying information. It also seems to be intimately tied in with the Horrorterrors or the Furthest Ring since Roxy sleepwalks in dreambubbles and opens portals through the void out there. Rose also displays an info-blocking effect from when she went grimdark until her death and ascension as a Seer.
 * Hope: Instilling inspiration in people and bettering their lives in battle or out of it. Now keep in mind what Eridan did that "improved" people's lives.
 * Life: Bringing back the dead without the need of a dream self (makes sense when Fef has so many Mary Sue traits as it is). She can also heal wounds and revitalize allies.
 * If this was the case, she'd have revived herself instead of staying dead.
 * Guess I forgot to mention that reviving yourself is the only thing you can't do... because you're dead, obviously!
 * Except that Jane's dreamself did so. Then again, that may be the difference between a Witch and a Maid.
 * Rage: The opposite of the Heart ability; causes allies' or enemies' primal instincts to take control and be on the constant Fight mode of the Flight or Fight switch. Simultaneously, one gains tremendous strength and agility,but loses control of one's mental facilities as more of this power is used. Achieveing the God Tiers is HIGHLY NOT SUGGESTED for anyone with a Rage element attached to them. And since Subjuggulators are already very powerful as it is...
 * Alternately, keeping in theme with the Bard half of Gamzee's title, he can either instill or quell rage in those around him, depending on his own emotional state. Evidence: he was able to "chill" with the imps instead of fighting them.
 * That may have been Gamzee sharing his sopor slime with the enemies, though.
 * Which could simply be his "prop" tool, like Rose's crystal ball or Dave's turntables.
 * Time: Time's role is to keep the other players alive through fairly obvious means.
 * Then again, that may just be the role of the Knight. We do know that they hold the Reset Button, though.
 * Breath : The universe is a frog, the kids session is dying, John removes a tumor from skaia and his theme is Doctor. One can assume that Breath's role is to keep the universe alive.

All dead dreamselves are brought to the crypt at the core of their respective Kingdom on a quest bed.
This is why Jack made sure to also destroy Derse and Prospit in the Troll's session. Had Jade's grandfather not stolen her back [probably in the same trip where he stole Jack's fourth wall], Jade would be able to ascend to godhood if Prospit was destroyed.
 * Collory: This only happens if the player dies prior to the beginning of the session and their dreamself goes comatose. Dreamselves that die during simply die like normal
 * Confirmed by Jake's funeral procession seemingly. Though the logic is flawed for Jade's self; the reason she died is because the moon of Prospit fell on her! Not likely that they were going to inter her in the crypt there!

Spades Slick (Troll session) and Bec Noir (after having his powers toned down from the current god mode) will eventually fuse in a single Noir (or at least join forces)
This Fusion!Noir will equip the Troll section ring to his left hand, and the kids ring on his right hand, having powers from both sections. This ensures the "last boss" to be beatable, but still tougher than previous Kids!Jack, who apparently struggled to be at the same level as Bro. Alternatively, the kids and the trolls will have to team up to defeat the two Jacks, or a fusion of both. What makes me think they'll fuse? Well, they seem like polar opposites; Bec Noir (with his sprite facing right) has a scar on his right eye (AFAIK it's deep enough to make that eye blind), and doesn't have a left arm, while Slick Noir (with his sprite facing right) doesn't have his left eye and his right arm. In any other comic I would disregard this as a coincidence, but on one so rooted on symbolism as Homestuck, it really strikes to me Hussie is turning them into two halves of a whole.
 * Carapaces are not mecha; there's no inclination that they can even "fuse" like this. Moreover, Bec Noir can seemingly only travel between sessions in the Medium, and not to actual universes like where Slick is. Also Troll ring was destroyed.
 * Wrong, in that after going into the trolls' session, he attacked Billious Slick, rewatch [S] Cascade, he clearly went down to post apocalyptic Earth to attack the kids' exiles...however, you are correct on the ring bit, in fact this might be why (i've speculated so myself) D C Scratch told them it was imperative they destroy the ring (so Bec Noir didn't also get the powers of Cthulhu...)...but the carapace bit might also be wrong, in such a way that the first person might be wrong too, in that, spades slick originally lost the OTHER ARM AND EYE, but switched which ones were missing by flipping his sprite...(it was even a plot point), and also they are chess pieces, and the same person...plus a first guardian can do practically anything, which should include absorbing a copy of themselves from an alternate universe...(and Lord English made a felt doll cue ball thing transform...so...)
 * Spades Slick seems to be dead anyways. The absorption thing is still completely ridiculous and has never remotely even been suggested.
 * Reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated. And the only reason why it hasn't been suggested is because two alternate universe counterparts haven't met each other yet, usually because said counterparts are dead. Meanwhile, it would barely even register in my top ten most ridiculous things I've encountered in Homestuck...

The troll's Lusii are descendants of the 48 players of the session before theirs.

 * Every session simply needs the players to enter the new universe so that they can make sure the species that will participate in the next one survives. Trolls eventually came to be the dominant species of the universe, and the Lusii became their guardians. This is why Lusii are assigned to each troll as a custodian. In relation to this, the trolls are supposed to make sure the humans survive their session: even though they were never able to enter their universe, there are various labs placed on asteroids so that they may somehow communicate with them and help them.

Lineup for the final show down will relate 413.
This troper thinks it will line up like this 4 humans, 3 trolls probably Karkat, Terezi and Vriska (Somehow Aradia and Vriska will switch live and dead status as they seem to be intended to be opposites of one another) and now we officially have our 1 with fedoraFreak being in the medium... and appearently godtier.
 * What about Kanaya?

Alternatively 413 and 612 4 children enter final battle. John, Rose, Dave and Jade. 1 unknown player enter. Being fedorafreak. 3 reset players enter. Nana, Kid Hass, Little Bro and Missy Lalonde, one is unlikely to make it. 6 trolls enter final battle. Karkat, Aradia, Kanaya, Terezi, Vriska and Gamzee. 1 troll revive and enter. We know Vriska returns to witness the green sun. 2 random trolls become relevant again and enter. That Jaspersprite-Nepeta pesterlog was fairly ominous other than maybe Sollux who seems to keep trying to grab some spotlight dispite not actually doing much.

Andrew wrote this series with the intent of trolling the audience from the very first page.
This is where we will compile the numerous symbols and try to determine their significance because there seems to be no other place to do this other than this WMG page. Some of this may be common knowlage at this point.

It's pretty clear that the Troll's horns are intended to reflect their respective symbols, not all of them are easy to understand such as how do Karkat's nubby horns relate to a crab or how do Vriska's relate to a spider (a stinger and pincer even though her version of scorpio is a spider?) however it has become pretty clear that Andrew has intended this from the begining as early as the first character introductions.
 * Dave's hair is a bird, this is simply fact. It has always been a bird, think of how far in the story that has any relevance at all.
 * John's hair is a jester hat, that should be obvious.
 * Jade has dog ears. This troper first noticed it with Jadesprite however Jade's hair does look like dog ears.
 * Rose is a little better hidden but again we were trolled. Rose is a cat, look at Rose's face at her big jump here and then look at Jaspersprite's head a frame later it's a perfect silioute.

The significance of the item/tasks of entry.
 * John's item task was to take a bite of an apple.
 * Rose's item task was to break a wine bottle.
 * Dave's item task was to allow an egg to hatch.
 * Which he almost failed due to his impatience. Though that may be the symbol of the item, as soon as he stopped trying to force his time powers dead Daves stopped stacking up.
 * The egg hatches as Bro cuts a meteor in half is that not symbolic enough?
 * Jade's item task was to blindly shoot a pinata of her guardian.
 * Jack and Bec are now one being sort of, the symbolisim is fairly obvious in this case.
 * Hussie actually discussed the symbolism of all of the entry items on his old Formspring account. John's was just symbolic. Rose's required a leap of faith and reliance on a friend. Dave's required patience. Jade's required her to both put down her dangerous dog and put (blind) trust in herself and him.

The Green Sun is made up of the souls of Non players.
Yes, this means The Green Sun is people.

Think of it as an afterlife for everyone else. Since the Gods of the Furthest Ring provide an afterlife for players or anyone important via dreambubble, Fridge Horror may ensue in that it means that anyone not playing or will not affect the game at all just vanish. They have to go somewhere, right? Plus, at least they'll serve a purpose this way. Instead of just being erased from existence or out of skaiaNET's database, they now fuel the Green Sun. And besides, there's a surplus amount of them from all the other sessions of the S-series.

This also means that to destroy the Green Sun would also mean to dispel all the lost souls. Alternatively, it means He who destroys the Green Sun also finishes off two or more entire universes' worth of Cannon Fodder.
 * I think I may be going out on a really improbable limb here, but I'm starting to think Doc Scratch lives on it, as exemplified here(?), as the whole "destroy the Green Sun" thing would also destroy him in the process. Perhaps he was a guardian of the non-player characters, or unplayers? I don't know, honestly.
 * Doc lives on one of Alternia's moons. It's shown during his introduction.
 * Sorry for the confusion, then.
 * Alternate theory: When the Green Sun explodes,it will send all inside into overdrive, causing them to have one final yell, their loudest and hardest yet- a mixed scream shared by the cannon fodder of two or more universes- which causes a final, large blast of energy, enough to destroy many universes, and allowing for many more to take their places. This will be known as "The Vast Green", as it will be the last thing another universe sees before all goes black. (What results may or may not be enough to create another Green Sun, eventually.)
 * Kind of sort of maybe Confirmed? Well, here it says that the Tumor contained two universes, thus in a sense meaning that the green sun is also made of two universes, meaning that your opening statement is correct. The soul-fuel thing, however, is kind of ambiguous.

Homestuck will end on April 26th 2013
Exactly 4 years and 13 days after it started, in the fourth month of the year 2013, fitting in the ever-recurrent 413 number theme.
 * It's actually kind of doubtful that it'll go that long. Remember, Hussie originally planned to end it on the one-year anniversary, then the two-year anniversary, then "when it's done".
 * Third anniversary. 14 days "late". He will insist that he did not plan it that way.

: The thing killing the Horrorterrors is actually Lord English
Reasons: Counter-arguments: "But the danger he poses is sanctioned by paradox space. It is a known quantity. His very existence in a universe will mean it will inevitably be torn apart. But there are rules to his entry, and his grim procession through paradox space is rather orderly. The present equilibrium has accounted for him, and will continue to. Jack however is a loose cannon. He will not stop until he destroys everything he encounters."
 * He is something from beyond our universe (where the horrorterrors are is the void between universes, so it might be)
 * He has power over pretty much everything (which explains how he manages to defeat horrorterrors without a window
 * He's already here (Only he's between universes, and he can only act directly in universes where he's already been summoned)
 * Doc Scratch says that Lord English's existence is natural and accounted for:


 * The Horrorterrors host the server that contains the ~ATH code that summons him. Seems like a dumb move on their part if he's what's killing them.

Sburb killed the dinosaurs.
Because why the hell not.
 * Alternately, the dinosaurs had their own version of Sburb, complete with their own day of Reckoning.

Hussie moves the story into SBAHJ to protect the audience from horror.
Twice, Hussie has shifted to SBAHJ, once after Rose goes dark, and second after LE was teased. Each time was to protect the audience from horror, with the first horror of Rose going dark, and the second of a face-to-face with Lord English. On the surface, its Mood Whiplash by a Teasing Creator, but its really Big Brother Instinct done by a Papa Wolf disguised as Stylistic Suck.

A part of Bilious Slick survived Jack's attack
You can clearly see his hand is still intact. It'll either be used to resurrect him or somehow create a new frog.

The Haunting Refrain is going to be important.
I know it's a little obvious, but come on. One of the salamanders even says that the heir will play a secret song to awaken the slumbering one! How could it not be Showtime?
 * The song to awaken Typheus was released on one of the music albums. It's not Showtime.

The Green Sun runs on nuclear fission
In Homestuck both radioactivity and Becquerel are accompanied by green light and prototyping Bec with the Kernelsprite made Uranium Imps, so it's possible that the Green Sun runs with it
 * Stars run on fusion, not fission. Fission doesn't provide enough energy and can't be done with lighter elements, as uranium and the like aren't that common in space.
 * That It Hasnt Collapsed Upon Itself Into A Tiny Lavender Singularity Is The Most Striking Marvel Paradox Space Has Coughed Up Yet (see Alien Geometries, Eldritch Location, Functional Magic, Hyperspace Is a Scary Place).
 * Still doesn't change the fact that stars use fusion not fission. However Andrew apparently knows about as much about astronomy as he does biology given that the Green Sun is also twice the size of a universe, so I concede that in canon it's likely
 * But the Green Sun is outside any universe, so a star with a mass twice the universe's is entirely possible, along with uranium getting involved in nuclear FUSION...
 * That's like inflating your body to the size of the galaxy; there's simply no way it would logically remain stable. What seems to be the case most likely is that the Sun is not really a Sun so much as a quasi-magical force of spatial energy underpinning the Multiverse.
 * You mean sort of like the frog large enough to contain a universe?
 * Remember that the object being discussed can somehow exist in the absence of anything to exist in, as it's outside any universe. After that point further physics violations become rather elementary.
 * The Green Sun was also made from the combined explosion of two universes, and presumably that's what's fueling it (it's like a contained big bang). And in a sense, that could be driven by fission (all the elements and mass of the universes are being broken down by the explosion vortex, aka 'sun').

Problem Sleuth and (by extension) Jail Break are the future of Homestuck.
Specifically, it's where Dave is currently residing. It's already got the skyscrapers, so the meteors just need to destroy some of them in such a way that the remaining buildings are in a grid-like pattern.
 * Problem Sleuth, Jailbreak, and Bard Quest are all video games in the world of Homestuck.
 * We have videogames with historical settings in Real Life. Problem Sleuth and Jail Break are videogames with prophetic settings.
 * The canons are too irreconcilable, the different origin stories are impossible in the same canon and the universe is completely sideways in PS.
 * That's just the Immaginary world (the one accessed through the portals and the forts). The real world where they ended up in the epilogue though...

Andrew is pulling out all the stops to not have this troper dub any character The Scrappy.
Rewind a bit before Wayward Vagabond found the etiquette book. All caps, extremely rude. Basically a troll. Then he finds the book. Next, he makes us control the character. He gives him a likable personality. The final nail in the coffin to being rescued from the scrappy heap is giving him the APPEARIFIER. Now skip ahead to Jade. Oh look! A teleporter! Damn. She still has the Captchal- wait, she always guesses right the first try? OK. Wow, These less frequent updates are awesome. Oh wat... What's this? They gave Periwhatever Magistrate an over-the-top and crazy mailman persona!
 * This really does seem to be one of the author's goals. He's made a furry and a juggalo beloved characters despite their being much-hated internet targets. Even the Token Evil Teammate gC is pretty lovable, in a sick and twisted sort of way.
 * What are you talking about? gC (Terezi Pyrope) isn't at all evil. Not in the slightest bit (in context at least).
 * Except that part where she sent John to his death knowing full well that he had no chance because of her powers as the seer of mind but yes she ment well and is utterly adorable in a slightly disturbing way.
 * Future has Vriska and Snowman say hi.
 * Vriska had what can best be described as a cannibal single parent, so it wasn't exactly easy for her growing up; and she's still kind of remorseful for everything she had to do. Snowman, on the other hand, has no such saving grace... yet...
 * Vriska was partially a deliberate attempt to enrage the fandom so that Andrew could essentially see what happens. So in this event, yes Vriska was designed by Andrew to be dubbed a Scrappy.
 * It probably says something that even a character specifically designed to be a Scrappy (universally hated) ended up being a Base Breaker instead.
 * It still doesn't explain Eridan, though.
 * Seriously he has has his fans (and double that for his March form) but does he have any redeeming values at all?
 * When he's not ruining everything, his antics are hysterical.
 * Eridan was pretty much a villain, or something very close to it. Disliking villains doesn't reallt make them into scrappys

Every character in Homestuck is clinically insane.
There should be no reason why this is not true.
 * Even the Wayward Vagabond?
 * He made Can Town. I think that qualifies.
 * Well, "clinically" may not suit him. Or maybe he's a hallucination
 * It may not be too long before this is actually true. The Warweary Villein witnessed his army get slaughtered in seconds; Jack Noir has seemingly gone on a berserk rampage; gallowsCalibrator seems to have lost it, and with their impending doom, the other trolls may follow; Mom has seemed somewhat unhinged throughout the story; Davesprite is from an alternate future where John and Jade were dead; John has had a Heroic BSOD twice, found out that he has a Room Full of Crazy, and created himself and his friends through ectobiology; Rose fused with a dream self from the aforementioned alternate future, and has Lovecraftian horrors talking to her; Dave threw his own corpse out the window, then just stared at his hands for ten minutes; Jade taxidermied her own grandfather before the story started, and now her dream self has died; and sooner or later it's going to sink in that pretty much everyone the kids ever knew, except the kids themselves and their guardians, is DEAD.
 * IMO, Rose doesn't look like she's snapped... but she (and Dave) cares more about self-image than John or Jade, so it'll take longer to show if she really has.
 * Nobody can be clinically insane if there are no clinics
 * May not be every character, but it is interesting to note that Wikipedia lists 12 currently accepted personality disorders. It doesn't require too much in the way of mental acrobatics to assign one to each.
 * And sincerely, some of the trolls are genuinely insane. Gamzee and Eridan, and Vriska to an extent. There Are No Therapists on Alternia. As for some of the other examples, WV has the intellect of approximately a 2nd grader and the others are showing stress pretty blatantly. This WMG hits on one of the underlying themes of Homestuck. Look out for more of this as we proceed probably.

Andrew Hussie reads the TV Tropes page on Homestuck.
Not long after Preemptive Declaration was added to the page, said trope got an even better example in-canon. Also, suspiciously many of the WMG entries above have come true-- well, the more reasonable ones anyhow-- and he does have a penchant for invoking Sure Why Not. On top of that, various terminology someone unfamiliar with TV Tropes would be unlikely to use is peppered throughout Homestuck, such as the mention of Chekhov's Juice.
 * Tarvos "adiosToreador" Nitram's first chat with Jade gave him some woobie potential, or enough to make him an example of the trope on the character page. Act Five has him becoming an even better example of a woobie to tearjerking. It's a little suspicious, to say the least, and makes you wonder if Andrew was browsing the Homestuck character page as well.
 * He does not. He does like the concept of TV Tropes but feels in it's execution we miss the point of the work in favor of categorizing and filing everything about it.
 * Is that not the point of the work? To locate, identify and sort all repeated memes throughout history? Surely Hussie can appreciate this after all some of his fanbase has actually resorted to spread sheets to sort all character information, events and callbacks.
 * Okay he clearly does, he has used a Tv Tropes page as evidence in his formspring ownage sessions on more than one occasion and we can safely assume he has at least skimmed the Homestuck page which is like what 97% of all the tropes ever?
 * Let me rephrase the point above. He may read it on occasion but still to this troper's knowledge he doesn't especially like it.

The post-Scratch universe is in or made from the Green Sun
Then that leaves the question of what God Tier Dave and Rose saw as they were climbing out of the sun...
 * We don't know how a Scratch resets the universe exactly. It's been previously stated that the Green Sun has the mass of both universes, so in that sense they still "exist". The Scratch may have reset part of the Green Sun into a new universe. We can then guess that...
 * Keep in mind the Scratch is odd; given that there can be multiple sessions per universe, a Scratch may make a duplicate universe so the other sessions don't reset.
 * And given that part of the Genesis Frog holding the universe escaped Jack's destruction, its regeneration in some fashion seems much more likely.
 * This appears to be pretty much jossed.

The post-Scratch universe is composed of both the Human Universe and the Troll Universe
Because they were both effectively combined in the Green Sun.
 * We don't know if this makes any sense, and in fact all evidence is to the contrary.

Jane's role as the Maid of Life is to fix problems caused by death.
Karkat says here that time-traveling Aradiabots were always warning him about mistakes that led to doomed timelines. So the "Maid" class appears to be about "cleaning up messes" related to her element. As the Maid of Life, Jane may bring back Jake's dreamself (and possibly also herself).

As the Page of Hope, Jake will help Kanaya recover the Matriorb.
Since Pages assist people, the Page of Hope's job may be to return hope to those who have lost it. Kanaya, being the victim of a Hopesplosion, sure could use some right now.
 * Jane's hat can be alchemized using a recipe that requires a Matriorb, as her fetch modus already showed us. John has already demonstrated that it's possible to reverse alchemize components from objects (like he made the clean poster out of a poster with clown scribbles). And all THEY have to do is have someone with sufficient hacking skills (Alpha Mom) to deduce the code of the Matriorb from the hat's code, and have someone with a sufficiently high level (like let's say a God Tier player) collect enough grist (like the loot dropped by a denizen) to alchemize one. Seems to be a very logical line of thought.
 * Why not Alpha Bro?
 * No need for all of that. Kanaya implies that she already has the captcha code for it. She just says that the grist cost was astronomical.
 * So perhaps there's a way to just revert the hat into the components used to make it in that recipe?

Jake's Denizen will be Erebus.
In the original session, John's was Typheus (sometimes called the "Father of all Monsters") while Jade's was Echidna, the "Mother of all Monsters". In the Alpha Session, Jane's Denizen is Hemera, personification of day; therefore, Jake's will be the opposite: Erebus, personification of darkness. (Nyx would also be possible, except Denizens seem to always be the same gender as their player.)
 * If John and Jade's Denizens were counterparts, then wouldn't Jake's Denizen be Aether (Personification of Light/Male counterpart of Hemera), not Erebus? Perhaps Bro's will be Erebus and Mom's will be Nyx.
 * Not necessarily: Dave's Denizen was Hephaestus, not another monster opposite Cetus. While Jake's may bear one of these relations, Bro's and Mom's don't need to.
 * Why would Erebus correspond to Hope at all? Also Haphaestus was male while Aradia was female.
 * Mom's Denizen is confirmed to be Nix

Alpha!Bro will prototype his sprite with his Auto Responder
Seeing as the AR is a near-perfect copy of Alpha!Bro's mind, it would be a nice way to parallel Dave prototyping his sprite with...himself. Also, the AR would probably benefit having a body and identity of its own.

Jake's consorts in the Medium will be angels, like the other Hero of Hope's.
And they'll be blue.

In which we make wild guesses about their planet names
The opening flash of Act 6 Act 3 revealed the name of Jane's planet LOCAH and told us that the remaining three (in order of entry) are LOPAN, LOTAK, and LOMAX. If the usual "chain of entry" holds up, Dirk should own LOPAN. Since Jake is unconscious, that makes him likely to be the last player, giving Roxy LOTAK and him LOMAX. Jane's land shares the same consorts and "wind" association as John's land, so an elemental theme may be conserved. Alternately, there may be a burial chambers & noble gasses theme (especially as the four Alpha players are referred to as "nobles" in said flash. Jane: Dirk: (LOPAN?) Roxy: (LOTAK?) Jake: (LOMAX?)
 * Revealed to be the Land of Crypts and Helium.
 * Jossed names: Land of Gum and Shoes
 * Land of Pyres and Neon.
 * Land of Pyramids and Neon.
 * Jossed names: Land of Hooves and Beats (doesn't fit any initials).
 * Land of Tombs and Krypton.
 * Jossed names: Land of Glass and Reflection (doesn't fit any initials).
 * Land of Mausoleums and Xenon.
 * Jossed names: Land of Demons and Skulls

Each class has an active/passive opposite
UU has revealed that there are active (-) and passive (+) classes, split between those that use their Aspect to enhance themselves v. those that enhance others. She has already named the thief & rogue as a pair of classes that are active/passive manifestations of the same concept (stealing an Aspect). It's my guess that all of the classes have a counterpart:
 * Thief (-) v. Rogue (+): theft of Aspect (as stated by UU)
 * Heir (-) v. Prince (+): authority over Aspect? (conceptually linked via inheritance) (Jossed.)
 * Knight (-) v. Page (+): protection with Aspect?
 * Witch (-) v. Sylph (+): manipulation of Aspect?
 * Mage (-) v. Seer (+): knowledge of Aspect? (conceptually linked due to Sollux's visions of doom)
 * Bard (?) v. Maid (?): ??? (no real link; just the left-overs that don't fit anywhere else) (Jossed.)
 * Heir (-) v. Maid (+): protected by Aspect?

UU Said that Prince and Bard are opposites. So:
 * Prince(-) v. Bard(+): destruction of/by the Aspect
 * Heir(?) v. Maid(?): care for/by the Aspect?
 * Based on how John used it, I'm going to guess that Heir is the active(-) member of the pair.
 * And based on Aradia (and the leading theories regarding Jane), Maid is more than likely a passive class as well.

Guesses on the gender roles of classes
UU also revealed that there is gender bias in the selection of classes. Some classes are exclusively male or female, where others favor one gender over the other. She doesn't mention any neutral classes, and she specifically names Rogue and Thief as favoring females and her own unrevealed class as exclusively female. So, let's start guessing on them:
 * Exclusively male: Knight (Dave, Karkat), Page (Tavros, Jake), Prince (Eridan, Dirk)
 * Mostly male: Mage (Sollux), Bard (Gamzee), Heir (John, Equius)
 * Mostly female: Thief (Vriska), Rogue (Nepeta, Roxy), Seer (Rose, Terezi)
 * Exclusively female: Witch (Jade, Feferi), Maid (Aradia, Jane), Sylph (Kanaya)

Later confirmation/denial:
 * UU Said that Bards are exclusively male, so Pages are probably mostly male.
 * I'd personally guess that Knights are the "mostly" male ones due to Joan of Arc type figures.

The Alpha kids are actually from the Beta Session, and vice versa
Doc Scratch mentioned that the trolls were actually not created in their own Session. Well, what if the same thing happened here? To show how this is possible:
 * The baby John that John created is actually Poppop. He goes to the Alpha Session with the Colonel Sassacre book, explaining why it has Nanna's note.
 * This is Jossed: Beta John is seen landing with a bright blue Sassacre book, before it aged, so it seems Jane has the same book via shenanigans
 * Similarly, the baby versions of Rose, Dave, and Jade are actually Alpha!Mom, Alpha!Bro, and Grandma English.
 * Baby Rose's bunny (the original Con Air bunny) becomes Roxy's wizard bunny. Baby Jade's bunny (Rose's knitted bunny) becomes Jake's Indiana Jones bunny.
 * Following from John above, there is no indication for this.
 * Meanwhile, the paradox clones of Nanna, Mom, Bro, and Grandpa go to the Alpha Universe and become Jane, Roxy, Dirk, and Jake.
 * In Dirk's case, this explains how Lil' Cal is in the Alpha Universe.
 * The question arises then that how did Cal get into the Beta Session, where he held far more importance.
 * This WMG then presumes that in Jane's Session, she'll create paradox clones of Poppop, Alpha!Mom, Alpha!Bro, and Grandma. These eventually become John, Rose, Dave, and Jade. Their ectobiological children become Nanna, Mom, Bro, and Grandpa (It's also possible that the ectobiological children will have different parents).
 * The book is sent back to the past with Poppop's paradox clone who becomes John (it's also possible it went back with Nanna, making the book one big stable time loop).
 * Jossed via mistaken assumption. Nanna's inscription shows that John was the true recipient of the book.
 * Roxy's wizard bunny goes with Rose and becomes her knitted bunny. Jake's Indiana Jones bunny goes with Jake and becomes Liv Tyler.
 * Lil' Cal appears in the ectobiology lab and goes back to the Beta Universe with Bro.
 * Presumably, Alpha versions of Maplehoof and Mutie are sent with Dave and Mom.
 * So to summarize:
 * John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, Roxy, Dirk, and Jake are all paradox clones of their Alpha Universe counterparts, and their ectobiological parents are actually their ectobiological children.
 * The bunny's timeline is that the Beta!Con Air bunny goes to the Alpha universe and becomes the wizard bunny, which goes back to the Beta universe to become the knitted bunny, which goes back to the Alpha universe to become the Indiana Jones bunny, which goes back again to the Beta universe where it becomes Liv Tyler (and it goes to and from the Alpha Universe at least one more time!) This WMG presumes the Alpha! Con Air bunny/Lil' Sebastian is actually unrelated to the other bunnies and will be prototyped as Jane's kernelsprite.
 * This is Jossed: Dirk directly states that the Alpha Bunny is separate from Jake's bunny plan, moreover Liv was destroyed by the Green Sun.
 * Lil' Cal's timeline is that he was made by Gamzee in the Beta Session, goes with baby Dirk to the Alpha Session, goes with baby Bro back to the Beta Session, gets picked up by Jack after killing Bro, gets pulled out by Jack in the Troll Session, and then goes to the Troll Universe with a doomed Aradiabot. He is currently in possession of Gamzee on the meteor. The only way this timeline could be more messed up is if he enters the Alpha Session and then goes back to the Alpha Universe.
 * There is no indication that Skaian portals can send things between universes, and every indication that they cannot. Moreover, Doc's comments applied specifically to the Pre-Scratch trolls, and it has yet to be explained what he meant by that, but it seems those conditions do not apply to the Alpha Session, given UU's comments seem to ensure that they are destined to win the game. One suggested theory that is not so off the wall insane is that they simply weren't ectobiological clones, but had natural parents.
 * Doc Scratch says flat-out that the glitch foretelling Lord English's presence in a session is that the players were not created during that session. He also says that the original trolls arrived from the sky in a manner similar to that which we've seen other players arrive on their worlds during infancy. Furthermore, both Hussie and in-comic characters have stated that Sburb is the way in which reality is propagated, meaning all realities get a Sburb "install". If the original troll players were not made in their session and were not born via the natural means of their species, then it stands to reason that they were created in another session. Therefore, it seems very likely that Skaian portals can indeed send material to new sessions; in fact, this capacity to send across sessions may very well be the flip-side of the glitch Doc Scratch is referring to in discussing the original troll players' origins. While not stated outright, it is difficult to imagine another way for all the conditions laid out by Scratch regarding the original troll session, and those revealed in general Sburb exposition, to be met.
 * The only things shown to transport things cross session were Exile terminals, and those portals had a distinctly different color than either the Beta or Troll sessions; implying cross session shenanigans specifically are a very hard thing to organize. If it were as simple as entering a portal, Noir could have done that without needing to hide in the Frog Temple.


 * Jossed. There is one set of babies, those from the Beta Session, however, they were sent to two points in time, creating an alternate universe.

In conjunction with the above, Rose's MEOW code will somehow find its way into the Alpha session.
It will be combined with Jaspers instead of Bec, thus creating the feline First Guardian.
 * Probably not going to happen since the BARK code exists as a substitute. We'll have to wait and see where it comes from.

Vriska from the doomed timeline where she fought Jack Noir will appear in the Alpha Universe and prototype herself as a sprite
Jake's sprite, probably. She'll get to the Alpha Universe by following the light of the Green Sun, which probably could still be seen in her doomed timeline. It would be completely unexpected, and Vriska is the Parody Sue character, so of course she'd have to become part-Sprite to catch up with Jade.
 * Alternately, UU is the doomed timeline Vriska.
 * Or someone (John?) will prototype a sprite with Vriska's dead body. Preferably after the new kids enter the game, unless he wants the enemies they face in the Medium to have all the levels. All of them.
 * Probably Jake, considering the bit of forshadowing with "You have a thing for sassy spider based girls that will probably never affect your life in any way, ever."...and he doesn't appear to have any dead relative remains with him...even if he did, it would be pretty awkward for there to be TWO Jades simultaneously...in fact, perhaps the alpha kids will ALL prototype something different...following up with other theories, if Jaspers does in fact become this timeline's first guardian, that would be suitable for mom, and make the endboss not incredibly easy to kill (considering Jade has all the powers of a god tier, a kernelsprite, AND a first guardian...), and bro might prototype his autoresponder...wait, perhaps the other thing Jake will prototype will be the fairybull he killed...(preentry, that one)...and perhaps Jane will finally get Dad prototyped?...(he was never ectobiologically created, but he appeared in both timelines, as a midpoint between Jane and John...he has to come in somewhere...)
 * Jossed as of what we know for several reasons. 1) Vriska from the doomed timeline is doomed, and even if she were to flee her session after defeating Jack, there's no indication she'd be able to find her way through the Furthest Ring to the Alpha Session, which is a difficult task even for Rose. 2) Vriska's body is on the Troll asteroid which is impossible for it to enter the session until at least Jane has entered, and there's many indications that John and Jade will reach the session prior to the others anyways. While a Tier 2 prototyping is possible though unlikely, a Tier 1 is impossible. 3) By that point, Vriska's body will have been decomposing for 3 years, so unless they cremate the Troll bodies, well that'd be kinda gross! 4) It has been suggested (via WV's need for the healings) that the Trolls may end up healed in some fashion anyways, or conversely, are all supposed to end up dead (via Mom Lalonde's book series). Looking at parallels, the most commonly suggested ideas for sprites are Poppop Crocker for Jane (Tier 1 unknown, but occasionally suggested to be PS-related shenanigans), the Auto Responder for Dirk (to parallel Davesprite), and either Grandma English or Jake himself for Jake.
 * Don't be so quick to call Jossed until all the prototypings are done, bro. (1) Time is meaningless in the Furthest Ring, (2) the Session clearly exists before Jane enters, and there's no guarantee that they'll do Tier 1 prototyping before entry, especially given the lack of prototyping towers, (3) Nanna's ASHES were good enough to get a full body, so a clean skeleton (or cremated body, post-"human corpse party") could be enough, and skeletal Vriska might even appeal to Jake's love of skulls, and (4) is essentially a meaningless statement.
 * Furthermore, it has been stated in the past that Sprites are drawn towards the doomed and dead. If a doomed, god-tiered, non-alpha-timeline Vriska jumped into the new Alpha session, then wouldn't that make her a prime candidate for sprite prototyping? And wouldn't her love of abusing game mechanics past the breaking point make such a move appealing to her?
 * Indirectly Jossed by another method anyways; the Alpha Session seemingly doesn't even have sprites, lacking prototyping towers and the Black Ring is orbless.
 * Pre-entry prototypings, anyway.
 * Confirmed by the most recent update. Well, sort of. Instead of Vriskasprite we now have... Tavriskasprite.

Lord English is Jake's legal ancestor
Many theories have suggested that Jake English is the source of Lord English's name because that's the backward way causality has flowed throughout Homestuck so far, but what if the explanation is simpler? What if the reason Jake doesn't share the Crocker last name is the same reason that Jade doesn't share the Egbert last name? What if it's because his grandmother married into the name English? Or what if he was adopted after her death or if she was separately adopted by him when the Batterwitch took John?

Jane will be able to resurrect the dead trolls and Beta!Guardians.
Jane's confirmed as the Hero of Life. Naturally, the Hero of Life isn't able to go beyond extending one's lifespan (assuming that's connected to the role and not just the Condesce's power as Empress). But thus far, every one of the Beta!Kids has ended up as God Tier- John, Jane's Beta iteration, being the first to reach it- which may open up the possibility to remedy that. After all, just look at Jade's God Tier resurrection!

Jane's Dad is a pawn of the Batterwitch
As an alternative to the last entry, Jane's Dad is actually working hand-in-hand with Betty Crocker. We all know how obsessive of a baker (and consumer of Betty Crocker goods) Beta!Dad was. Considering that his daughter had to learn her love of baking from somewhere, how she has the name Crocker which implies he does too, and how he's let her fill her room with Crockercorp merchandise, it's doubtful that he see Betty Crocker as a malign influence. In fact, he may be even more brainwashed than Jane is in the Batterwitch's favor. And with his daughter as heir to the company, just what is his day job, anyway...?
 * Come to think of it, if Jane is the heir of the company, why does she live in the same ordinary house in Maple Valley, WA that John lived in?

The Alpha Session will not be prototyped

 * Instead, the incoming players will transplant their 4x prototyped Battlefield into Alpha Session's Skaia.
 * There are no prototyping towers on both Alpha Prospit and Derse
 * The ring on the Batterwitch's finger in "[S] Prince of Heart: Rise Up." that was taken from the previous Black Queen has no prototyping orbs on it either.
 * It's possible the Alpha players won't even have kernels to prototype, period.
 * Confirmed.

Bec Noir (or whatever we are calling him these days) will be unable to harm Jake because...

 * Although he had loyalty to Jade, he was also loyal to Grandpa Harley, and probably for more years that he was to Jade. Halley was Grandpa's dog first, and he had Bec before he ever found Jade. Plus, we see that Bec sleeps at the feet of stuffed Grandpa.
 * Bec never knew Grandpa as a child though, so it's dubious if he would recognize Jake as him.

Alpha(scratched) session is already doomed
Somewhat twisted logic, so step by step process follows.
 * 1. Jade makes tadpole universal frog and places it inside an 8-ball for safe keeping.
 * 2. Said 8-ball falls into volcano.
 * 3. A small leap in reasoning leads to the frog little jade recovers in the past being the same frog that she would later create in the future.
 * So the key to making a universe frog stable is combining it with itself, honestly not that much weirder than anything else so far.
 * 4. Alpha session's sun and the frog are the same color (assuming blinding white light is still considered a color)
 * 5. Bec zaps said frog to death for no appearent reason, which in turn dooms Alpha session's universe.
 * Also this means that three different universes have been destroyed by the power of a Guardian (seriously is that a joke title or what?)
 * Bec killed the white frog so as to interfere with its personal timeline. By doing so, he ensured its causal entanglement, ensuring that it would not be appearified but paradox slimified instead, thus allowing for the creation of the Genesis frog. This still leaves the question of where the white frog was sendificated from, however.

""Though we adore Him we shall never enjoy His beauteous Croak. We spill our blood on acres of black and white so they may cross the yellow yard. At last in Skaia's reflection through broken glass He may find the pond in which He's meant to squat.""
 * The frog Jade found is not the Genesis Frog. The frog Jade made is also not the Genesis Frog (yet); that has to apparently be placed in the final version of Skaia and since Skaia no longer exists. Said small leap in reasoning makes no logical sense at all. Also the sun is the same color; it's called artistic effect, much like how the Troll's sun really isn't a giant heat vortex like it was shown when it blinded Terezi.
 * At any rate it is still doomed, but because it's the product of a faulty universe more than anything listed above.
 * Sburb exists in the universe, therefore the universe is doomed by default.
 * I thought Sburb just dooms a planet, not a whole universe.
 * Sburb means English gets into a Universe which means it ultimately is destroyed. In the only known session where he wasn't able to enter, that is true that only Alternia was destroyed, but the Scratch brought him into it.
 * After rereading the comic very recently, I can say with certainty that it is never said that Sburb's existence = Lord English's existence. The only mention of the conditions for which universes he picks is a glitch in the game where the players are not ectobiologically created in their own session.
 * That condition doesn't apply to any session at all actually. The glitch that hampered the first Troll Session is completely unknown as of yet, the fact that they weren't created in their own session is a symptom more than anything else. At any rate, the WMG is Jossed, due to the existence of GCat it can be inferred that Lord English will be involved at some point given both sessions seen so far with First Guardians were doomed, albeit the Kid's Session indirectly, via Jack.
 * Wait, what? Didn't Karkat say every universe has a first guardian? Did the existence of Bec have anything whatsoever to do with Lord English?
 * Karkat doesn't know everything. Regardless, the one known iteration of Lord English was dependent on the First Guardian, and Jack Noir would not have existed in his current form were it not for Bec and English's machinations via Doc. So while there's not someone directly saying in comic that First Guardians serve English, it's pretty apparent that they do.
 * It's very likely that that tadpole will be the Genesis Frog, though. From the flash update where grimdark Rose looks through the castle:


 * Here "Skaia's reflection" probably means the Skaia of the Alpha session, and for him to "cross the yellow yard," he had to exist before then, so he's most likely the tadpole that fell into the Forge.
 * No, that flashy tadpole was the last one needed to complete the Genesis Frog genome, not the Genesis frog itself- the one she had to strike a deal with her Denizen to remember how to get. Also, he doesn't have to already exist to be able to cross the yellow yard- notice it says "so they may cross the yellow yard," referring to Jade and John (who will presumably help create a Genesis Frog in the Alpha session).
 * While your point about "they" being ambiguous is valid, that tadpole is clearly the genesis frog. Kanaya mentions that the tadpole for the Genesis Frog is considerably larger than a normal tadpole. The genesis tadpole is nearly half Jade's size. The penultimate frog you're thinking of looks quite different, lacking the weird filigree pattern and having very different eyes. The mystery of where that frog was sendificated from is still due to be solved.
 * Human babies certainly don't look like adults when they grow up! The tadpole seemingly will age to become B. Slick.
 * Rose's exposition Jossed this directly.

Jake English will become Lord English, hence the connection between their names.
There's already connections between the two (skulls, right leg, name), and that seems like the most straightforward explanation. Jake goes evil and starts calling himself "Lord" instead.
 * Lord English is only a nickname.
 * It's more likely that Jake is in the care of Doc Scratch or Lord English. Jade was in the care of Bec after her grandfather died when she was a baby; if it were to parallel the Beta session, then Jake would be in the care of the First Guardian following his grandmother's death, which could be Doc Scratch or Lord English. It would just as likely explain why Jake has all of the English-related gear. If Scratch raised him, then it is likely Jake only has the name as part of his preparation to serve English. And if English did instead, perhaps he only took the name English because he didn't know of any other to use by the time he got his placronym?
 * At this point this is way too obvious to be anything other that a Red Herring.
 * I think Andrew is just trolling us at this point.
 * If anything, it's foreshadowing about Jade. Beta!Jade is currently a combination of Dream Self, God Tier, and First Guardian. And thanks to Intermission 2, we know that First Guardian = Lord English. Jake inherited the computers from his grandma, and English was almost definitely the last name she gave herself when she ran away from the batterwitch (which I think we can infer still happens).
 * Uhm... no. Doc Scratch is the host for Lord English, not just any first guardian. (the Cueball is most likely required for a first guardian to become Lord English's host).
 * Given what English looks like, Lil Cal seems to be a more likely prerequisite for hostdom than the Cueball.
 * And remember, Doc Scratch was created using Lil Cal's ghost slime.
 * Chicken, egg. Since Doc Scratch is Lord English's host, and we've never seen him without a host, it's impossible to tell which way that relationship goes. However, there is but one Lord English... though there's no indication that he doesn't have different manifestations in different universes, to correspond to differing cultural concepts of death.

When the Alpha Kids arrive in their session, the Beta Kids and their planets will be waiting for them
. . . resulting in an unconventional eight-player session. Don't know what will happen to the extra Battlefield, though.
 * Karkat has specifically said this is the plan; though they're entering after the session is somewhat established.
 * It's unknown at this point if John and Jade will reach the Medium before Jane, but it seems unlikely.

Sburb is a game between Reality and the Horrorterrors meant to determine if a new Reality will/should be created
We know Sburb is the way universes are created. We know that Sburb takes place within the Furthest Ring where the Horrorterrors reside. Thus, Sburb is creating universes within/out of the Furthest Ring. In light of this, consider the following:
 * Prospit and its Dreamers are situated towards, influenced by, and allied with Skaia; the entity which propagates realities. The Inhabitants of Prospit work directly to protect Skaia and aid the consorts who in turn aid the Heroes in their quest to create a new universe. Skaia even gives Prospit Dreamers “hints” via the Dream clouds to improve their chances of winning, and if the trolls are any indication, somehow renders Prospit dreamers highly suspicious of the Horrorterrors and their advice.
 * Derse and its Dreamers are situated towards, influenced by, and allied with the Horrorterrors of the Furthest Ring in opposition to Skaia. The inhabitants of Derse work directly to prevent the successful completion of the game, and thus the creation of a new universe, the royalty of Derse hate frogs because they represent/become new universes, and via Rose's story arc we know that the Horrorterrors were actively advising her to break her session, and that if directly contacted, they can hijack one of the Heroes (though the extent to which they can override their will remains unclear). Thus, Prospit is Reality’s “Side” in the game, and Derse is the Horrorterrors’ “Side” in the game.
 * One objection to this is that Derse Dreamers still work to win the game, but this is deceptive, remember; Skaia gets to choose the players. The purpose of the Derse Dreamers is still to win the game as that is what Skaia created and timelooped them to do in the first place, however, Skaia allows the Horrorterrors the chance to influence half of the players so they have a chance to break the session and prevent a genesis. Why give them this chance? To maintain balance between reality and non-reality. The proliferation of realities “uses up” the Furthest Ring, thereby killing Horrorterrors and destroying their habitat.
 * Furthermore, players can work at cross purposes to what Skaia wants, just look at Vriska, Rose, and Gamzee, all of whom get derailed and endanger their team. Word of God is that the Derse Dreamers are allowed to live because of the chance they can be converted by the Black Royalty.
 * Denizens seemingly are the counterparts to players in terms of being loosely allied with Derse but seemingly independent as well. This WMG also makes sense in light of several other things, like Doc Scratch referring to sessions as "bargains" and the fact that in chess, the pieces need to be moved by someone, making Skaia and the Horrorterrors the actual players of the game.

Lord English is the one slaughtering Horrorterrors and endangering the propagation of reality, and he is doing it by "over-cultivating" short-lived realities
The Horrorterrors state to Rose and others both that they are being slaughtered, and that their advice to break the Beta Kids’ session is given in the hopes of preserving the future creation of realities. How can we relate this to Lord English's behavior?
 * The information given so far regarding Sburb is that it allows the creation of new universes and destroys the home planet of the players, but not that it destroys their home universe; in fact, the re-population of said home-worlds by the Exiles implies Sburb is meant to leave parent universes intact. The Horrorterrors live in the Furthest Ring, and Sburb sessions apparently take place surrounded by it. In what way could their slaughter and the propagation of universes be related? Perhaps because the creation of universes kills them and depletes their habitat, which doubles as the material from which realities are created. However, if this is the natural way universes are made, then obviously the natural non-glitched sessions must succeed at a rate that maintains equilibrium, otherwise -within a plane where past, present, and future exist all at once- this collapse would have already occurred.
 * That's where Lord English comes in. What do we know about English? We know he "eats" universes; that his servant Doc Scratch draws its power from the Green Sun; that the Green Sun is created by destroying both the Troll post-scratch universe, and the Human pre-Scratch universe; and that Lord English is birthed from Doc Scratch. We know that English glitches sessions, makes them cancerous and forces their players to abandon them via Scratching, that the cancer within the session then prematurely destroys the associated universe as well as its parent universe, and that this creates a Green Sun. He then enters the now abandoned null session universes at the moment of their destruction, sends a "representative" along to the new post-scratch session, and eats the abandoned universes/Green Sun along their entire timelines. He cuts short a universe's "life-span", then infects a new session to complete the process again. Lord English, a being that eats realities, is in effect slash-and-burn farming the Furthest Ring, thereby slaughtering Horrorterrors and endangering the propagation of realities.

The dead players of the Beta are reincarnated as the Trolls and Kids of the Alpha.
Dirk is Equius, explaining why he builds robots and thinks tank-tops are for the STRONG. Tavros, Nepeta, Eridan, and Feferi are definitely in, and the last is either Vriska or Sollux, depending on how dead Sollux is.

Spidery Vampire is Lord English
They both have weird eyes, and probably it'll be Spidery Vampire that'll inspire Jake to create Lord English, going back in time and giving him his theme, creating another Stable Time Loop.
 * Probably partly Jossed; Aranea has been confirmed to be pre-Scratch Mindfang/Vriska.

Every session - or at least the troll's session - of Sburb/Sgrub has the cancer.

 * Karkat has said that when he gave the children's session the cancer, it manifested itself as Jack Noir. The trolls session itself also had Jack Noir - and it can be assumed that each session before theirs had Jack as well. Even though in their session Jack Noir never grew into the unstoppable juggernaut that he is in the human's session, he is still there (Plus, the unstoppable juggernaut Jack did catch them eventually). Maybe the trolls session also had the cancer, as well as all the sessions before them, which is what leads to the creation of Sburb itself each time.
 * Note that Karkat has said that the cancer is possibly what led to the kid's session being uncompletable. If the trolls session had the cancer, it would be assumed that their session is uncompletable as well, explaining why Bec Noir came and prevented them from claiming the prize and finishing the session.
 * Each session is flawed in some way, as there is always a way for English to get into the Universe. In the Alpha-Troll session, English and Doc were not able to, so they couldn't complete the game. In a sense, every session has some form of the Cancer, otherwise it's impossible for a session to win.

Act 6 and Act 7 Structure Predictions
This might really go under the Alpha Session, but since it covers everything I'll put it here. Just my gut feelings, based on how Homestuck is endlessly self-referential.
 * Act 6 Intermission 2 will be relatively brief. It may reference the actual Intermission 2 by including Lord English somehow. The big Homestuck three year anniversary will probably happen during the Intermission, or at the beginning of...
 * The "including Lord English" part is confirmed as of his sudden appearance in Hussie's sudio.
 * Act 6 Act 3. This will probably be the point where most of the characters enter the Medium, or where there will be some shocking revelation that will change what we thought we knew.
 * Since Act 6 Act 2 ended with Jane's entrance, it's highly probable the rest will enter in this act as predicted. However, A6A2 seems to have already covered the "shocking revelation that will change what we thought we knew" part with its Flash ending...
 * Act 6 Intermission 3, being set between Act 6 Act 3 and Act 6 Act 4, will be a Call Back to the Midnight Crew Intermission. It will probably involve carapaces somehow.
 * Act 6 Act 4 will have the ectobiology, and will also have something that screws the Alpha Session more than it already is.
 * Act 6 Intermission 4, being between Act 4 and Act 5, will probably relate to the Trolls in some way (think of Act 5 Act 1 as a Troll Intermission between Act 4 and Act 5).
 * Act 6 Act 5 and Act 6 Intermission 5 will probably culminate in the Beta Kids entering the Alpha Universe.
 * Act 6 Act 6 will be the grand finale. Hussie has stated there won't be a big final boss battle, but this troper think there will be something interactive - maybe like a playable RPG battle.

And as Word of God stated, Act 7 will be one big epilogue. This troper also thinks there might be an epilogue after the epilogue (which be explicitly called the Epilogue, much like Problem Sleuth's Epilogue.).

The ending will be a case of And the Adventure Continues...
It'll end on another Call Back to the first page of Homestuck with a new alien character. When we're prompted to enter the name we'll just get THE END. The players are finished, but the game continues...

Slick's mechanical arm was fitted by Dirk Strider.
Dirk is the only character asides from Equius who is skilled enough to construct a working replacement limb, as Jake isn't nearly as good with robotics as Dirk. Furthermore, Dirk's knowledge of Jack Noir and the other Derse agents could stem directly from Slick.

Lord English is technically NOT the being we see during Intermission 2.
Rather, he's the genetic code used to create Scratch/Bec. That's how he prepares his own summoning. Once the creature created with the code dies, they become a host for Lord English's presence.
 * This means that Jade will ALSO become a host for Lord English should she happen to die, as she's prototyped/God Tier'd with Bec.
 * It also explains why Jadesprite wanted to die; it was an instinctual desire to summon Lord English.
 * Jade's outside the Human Universe which is already destroyed with no way for English to seemingly enter, and unless the Scratch truly did reset the Human Universe and Jade somehow goes back there, she also has no way to get to Earth's past (But in that scenario there would be a new First Guardian anyways). If he were going to enter via someone with First Guardian powers at the end of the Universe, logic dictates that he would've used the dying WV or PM via the White Ring. Moreover Jade has powers beyond a First Guardian, and would probably be able to resist English.
 * Again the first guardians aren't automatically the hosts of Lord English. It's the cueballs used in their creation.
 * Cueballs were only used in Doc Scratch's creation.
 * It is implied by Aradia that the difference between a guardian that serves English or not is the honkHONK wildcard.

Lord English is God-Tier Jake

 * With all the Lord English related stuff Jake has in his room (not to mention his name), it's almost unthinkable that he's not directly connected to Lord English in some way (though Hussie has been known to troll). If the Kid!Guardians play SBURB, and Jake ends up in a similar situation as Jade, it's not unthinkable that he will also attain a Green-Sun Empowered God Tier. Given the proper prototypings and/or situations, a God Tier Jake may well end up with a villainous bent, thus creating "Lord" Jake English.

The Handmaiden still works for Lord English.
Death was her reward. Death was also her punishment. It was not said that death would be her termination of employment.

Bec was never a minion of Lord English
When Doc Scratch talks about "an instance of [himself]" in every universe marked for destruction, he doesn't mean a first guardian. He means 'Doc Scratch'. This is why Bec is a good dog, best friend. Alpha!Earth has Doc Scratch as its First Guardian, rather than Bec. For evidence, note the creepily cueball-like sun, which has never before been depicted in that manner.
 * The kids' universe was still marked for destruction, though.

Dave will land the killing blow on Lord English, or at least play a critical role in his defeat.
One of his god-tier level ups was "Pimpslayer."

Lord English is Skipper Plumbthroat.
If one thinks about the lyrics in "Let the Squiddles Sleep," there's a part about Plumbthroat killing Squiddles who don't go to sleep. Now that there's a theory that the Squiddles are in fact representations of Horrorterrors, this may be symbolic of whatever is killing the Horrorterrors. Since they are so immensely powerful, Lord English would possibly be the only thing strong enough to kill them.
 * Then there's the fact that the code to awaken Lord English is in the Furthest Ring.
 * Wasn't Feferi's lusus one of those?...which means the black king was even stronger...and they killed him...
 * Wasn't Feferi's lusus more of an ambassador from the horrorterrors than one of them?
 * The real question is, if Lord English is Skipper Plumbthroat, does that mean Lord English suffers from crippling depression?

As soon as Jake finishes and send the Uber Bunny, we'll flashback to this page.
And it will continue from there for a little bit as Jade checks the present and reads a note to her from Jake before we return to the post-Scratch universe. Of course, there will be no mention from Jake of his dreamself dying, probably not to get her upset. This stands to reason, of course, because Jade didn't know dreamselves could die until this conversation with Tavros.
 * This would mirror [S] Frigglish: Fast forward to Jaspersprite, somewhat.
 * Oddly, although we did get a mirror of that previous flash, not only did it not play out in the way suggested, it actually seems to kind of contradict that previous page.

Andrew Hussie's homeworld resides in the Void.
If the Void is an area where all dead/scratched universes reside, it could be a possibility that Hussie's world was one of the dead/scratched worlds, explaining his "dead"-type eyes. As a bonus thought, supposedly Ryan North Resides there as well.

Basically every session except the Alpha/Beta ones are Troll sessions. There are only humans at all because Karkat/Kanaya skipped the last frog
UU can't see into the Alpha session because of Roxy, but she implies that she can see into just about every other session. When she draws god-tier Dirk she sticks the god-tier-troll wings on him, which implies that she's only ever seen trolls reach the god tier, which would imply that any other session with humans either A) gets blacked out or B) never gets any god tiers or C) are uncommon enough that UU's never seen them.
 * What seems to have been implied is that Humanity has gone extinct since the end of the Alpha Session or else they live completely apart from Trolls, possibly even in another universe entirely. UU doesn't seem to have observed many sessions though, and her research instead seems to be in a historical sense. While it's unknown why trolls are so dominant later, Humans certainly didn't evolve solely because of Kanaya and Karkat's mistakes, as dozens of species evolve in universes created by Sburb, and the Trolls themselves are the products of a 48 player session of unknown species.

The stairs warned about in S Ba HJ aren't stairs.

 * It's warning us about the double helix in DNA (which resembles a spiral staircase), fitting with the genetic theme of the series. To take this a step further, the Caduceus that symbolizes UU and uu (which are the only characters so far whose initials are derived from RNA, not DNA) resembles a double helix, which comments on the duality of their personalities. Even further, the Caduceus is the staff of Hermes, messenger of the gods in Greek mythology. RNA by nature acts as a messenger and transcriber for DNA. It's very possible that UU and uu are pivotal in the creation of the universe in a similar fashion to Karkat (to whom they also have a connection to, but I'm sure that's touched on elsewhere). Likewise, they could simply act as messengers for DNA-themed characters like the other trolls and kids-- possibly alternate versions or new characters entirely.

The kids/alpha kids/trolls will end up creating Sburb.

 * Depending on just how necessary First Guardians are to the game, our characters creation of the Green Sun may indicate a connection with Sburb's orgin.

Her Imperial Condesce will be the Final Boss.

 * Well, it's either that and Lord English will be defeated indirectly via a number of time-based glitches and loopholes, or she is the Final Boss but Lord English will be the FINAL Final Boss.

There's Something bigger than English.
Think about the motifs given to us thus far: A deck of cards, Representing the Midnight Crew, an aspect of Troll culture, and the kids, in some respect. A chess board, representing the Skaiagame (Carapaces, Battlefield, etc.). A game of Pool, representing the Felt ("Pool Cue" commands a "ball" that sets everything in motion, Snowman being "Pocketed" last, the Goons). A video game (The gist of the series). In each of these games, at least one person must be playing. Somebody has to shuffle the deck and deal. To move the pieces. To wield the pool cue. To man the controller. There is one person behind it all, putting each aspect into motion, even English, just as they planned it.

Any Guesses?
 * Hussie.
 * Naah, that'd be too obvious.
 * Lil' Cal?
 * It's Paradox Space. In the pool metaphor, English is the player as he is the cue stick. In the chess metaphor, Skaia and the Horrorterrors are the players, as they advise and virtually control Derse and Prospit. The video game metaphor has the direct players and probably the Denizens as well. And above all of them is their immutable fate, ie, Paradox Space.
 * But what about the Card metaphor? Does Paradox Space "deal out" who the exiles will be, who comes into the game and who doesn't?
 * The Card metaphor probably has no overarching leader. Most rules for poker have the dealer move around.
 * P-Space interpretation more or less confirmed by Aranea.

There will be a Problem Sleuth intermission.
The first meta thing in the beta session was the webpage for MSPA, and it showed the Midnight Crew, foreshadowing the Midnight Crew intermission. So, Jane's love for Problem Sleuth foreshadows a Problem Sleuth intermission in the Alpha Session. Also, the PS intermission will parallel the Midnight Crew Intermission. The PS cast are all Prospitians.
 * Not only that, but Team Sleuth (along with Hysterical Dame and Nervous Broad) will be the Exiles of...some other session (pre-Scratch Ancestor, probably). It will culminate with PS and co. jumping into the main plot, as PS already has experience with nigh-invulnerable mob bosses.
 * Jossed by Word of God; the PS crew will not appear in Homestuck.

Dog-Tier Jade will fuse her Battlefield with the Alpha Session's Battlefield to bring it up to Level 8.
The Battlefield "levels up" each time a player enters the session. Since the God-Tier Kids will be in the Alpha Session, there will be eight players, so the Battlefield should level up eight times. However, the Kids have already prototyped their Sprites and leveled up their own Battlefield, and the Alpha Kids will only bring it up to Level 4. The remaining four levels will come from the God-Tier Kids' Battlefield, which Jade brought with her.
 * Alternately, the Alpha Session won't have a Battlefield until Jade brings hers... but her battlefield is in pretty rough shape and it's not clear if it's possible for it to level up more times, especially if it's not in the same session when some of the alpha kids arrive.
 * Original theory jossed, alternate theory semi-confirmed. There was a battlefield, but CD blew it up.

The ending will feature an entire army of doomed-timeline Dream-bubble versions of deceased characters as Big Damn Heroes
And, naturally, they will truly and permanently die in the process. It will be implied that this was the primary purpose of the Dream Bubbles.

Spades Slick will become completely robotic, turning him into Robo-Hussie
As the story progresses, Spades Slick has gained more and more prosthetic parts, so it stands to reason that he will become a full-out robot at some point. Andrew Hussie was seen nursing him back to health after an unspecified injury, without any obvious motive. He must secretly be planning to turn Slick into his robot doppelganger.
 * Perhaps he had a premonition of his own death at the end of A 6 I 2.

Gamzee is hording the troll-corpses somewhere connected to the "coffee machine" we see in Act 6, and that beverage ain't coffee; it's troll-juice
A pretty straight-forward theory. First, no one seems to know where the "coffee machine" came from. Second, no one seems to know how it works. Third, Dave's "[this] coffee sucks" comment; it doesn’t taste like coffee, but to him that’s what it looks like, so he labels it “bad coffee” and doesn’t think anything more about it. The reason it doesn’t taste like coffee, though, is because it isn’t. Fourth, we never see any of the trolls drinking or referring to drinking coffee; pretty weird when you consider Karkat does not sleep at all from the end of their session until the meet-up scene on the asteroid. Fifth, the "film" we see on the coffee is part of the hemospectrum.
 * Pretty jossed. Gamzee saved their blood and is using it as "potions". Besides that film actually exists in shitty coffee.

GCat will have an Oh Crap moment when he ends up in the presence of a part-dog being with all his powers and then some.
Perhaps it will go something like this. GCat does something that ticks Jade off (considering he's a cat, that shouldn't be too hard), Jade growls at him, GCat teleports her away, and Jade just teleports right back.

After Eridan comes back in some way, Jade's blabbing out to him that she was working with her "grandson" on the bunny will come back to bite her...
Why? ...Because Eridan will use that against her somehow...
 * How? There's no conceivable way that it could be used "against her"; it was a simple bit of exposition about Jake and not some massive plot revelation that Jade is ashamed of. And at any rate, Alpha timeline Eridan has never been seen in any dreambubble at all.
 * Not sure what's meant by "Alpha timeline Eridan", but if you mean the one we're familiar with, we did see him early in A 6 I 2...
 * That's an alternate timeline Eridan who went God Tier. The Alpha or Main timeline Eridan who killed Feferi and Kanaya hasn't been seen at all or referred to once since his death.

Doc Scratch only loaded his gun with one cue ball bullet to prevent Hussie from killing English with it.
Well, he is omniscient. And kind of a jerk.
 * Maybe that is why Lord English is indestructible. The First Guardians and the people they control will think of every possible outcome. So even if you have the power to kill him, he has such a vast influence that nobody is destined to ever kill him. The only way to kill Lord English is to work outside of your fate somehow.
 * Ahh... "He's rumored to be killable only through a number of glitches and exploits in spacetime."

The official start of Act 6 Act 2 will be on April 13 as a Flash introducing Jane's planet.
And it will end with the following: "END OF YEAR 3 4/13/2009 - 4/13/2012"


 * Unless this was posted before Hussie announced A 6 A 3 would start on 4/13, this isn't even a prediction. Rather, this is the extent of what we can reasonably expect from the start of A 6 A 3.
 * Well, that was the plan. Instead, Hussie published a series of pages containing the "END OF YEAR 3" text, and only after those came Myststuck.

WV will eventually confront Jack about why he spared him so long ago on the battlefield.
His answer? Because he realized they were Not So Different. WV won't take too kindly to this answer.
 * Jack pretty obviously did it For the Evulz with maybe a minor aspect of Bring News Back.

Betty Crocker is a good guy.
This is based on the fact that, as Rose mentions in A 6 I 2, the "bad guys'" actions are having the effect of preparing the game for the eventual arrival of the pre-Scratch kids. The Condesce is still technically working for Lord English, but she's not any happier about it than the Handmaid was, and is using her position of power to set the stage for something that will end him once and for all. Killing the kids' dreamselves is important to this somehow. Her taking over of post-Scratch Earth is genuine; that's just a bonus.
 * I wouldn't say that makes her a "good guy", more or less just...EnemyMine.
 * Also You Can't Fight Fate.
 * Update: Dirk's conversation with Jake seems to confirm that the Condesce isn't particularly happy about working for Lord English, and Meenah suggests she might not even be all that happy about ruling (though her reaction to the Condesce's story suggests otherwise), and that she might have some twisted form of heroism in her (killing all the pre-Scratch trolls so they'd live on as ghosts).

Act 7 will either be the beta version of Homestuck, or will end with a link to the first page, causing a Stable Time Loop.
Most characters that have changed over the course of the story will be taken care of by the end, but the Alpha session will end up scratching, triggering a switch back to the original session. Okay that doesn't really make any sense but I thought it was funny.
 * A scratch from the Alpha session seems unlikely- not due to impending success, but because the Beat Mesa belongs to the Hero of Time's planet. There shouldn't be an extra Beat Mesa in the Alpha session, and the Beta kids already flung theirs into Skaia.
 * There was a much more in depth discussion of this on the Alpha WMG page, and we concluded that it is Jossed. All signs, from UU and Rose and others, indicate that the Alpha Session will be successful, and unless Dirk's land has some sort of Scratch mechanism (much like Dave was half-awake on Derse, despite that being part of a Hero of Heart's apparent role), there's no way for them to Scratch anyways.

Class powers are hereditary.
Think about it: Is it really a coincidence that Rose blacked out that Beta session, and then it turns out Roxy- her genetic mother- is the Void player? Or that Dave also displays the 'half-awake' attributes of a Heart player such as Dirk, his genetic father? Or even that the Trolls share attributes with their ancestors? Jane awoke on Prospit early much like Jade despite not being a Space player, Jake was too late waking up (much like John almost was), and both Jane and John must 'breathe life' into their universes...

Becquerel and God Cat somehow switched places.
I mean, how does a God Dog get made by a MEOW code and a God Cat by a BARK code? OK, so obviously it wasn't that the Frog Temples in their entirety swapped places, since the things and people seen falling into the Lotus Time Capsule in the Pre-Scratch session appeared in the Pre-Scratch universe when the capsule's set times were up. But something else may have happened...

The Pre-Scratch human session is not the only one by far that had Jack Noir be The Starscream and take on the role of Big Bad.
In fact, it's a surprisingly relatively common occurrence... This one's just pretty much the only one that messed up so badly that Jack gained the power of the host planet's First Guardian as well...

Aranea, as the Sylph of Light, is going to help Jake with his conflicting feelings regarding his relationships among his friends and his role in Sburb in general.
Because Heaven knows he could use some Sylph of Light help right now.

The story will end with the Homestuck Kids (Pre- and Post-Scratch) settling into their newly created universe, possibly with the remaining trolls with whom they decided to share it with...
And the immediate end will be when the look at the computer terminal of the base they appeared in the universe through to see a member of an entirely different species. And this kid will be just sitting there frowning above the text, "It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time."

The Flash showing the Pre-Scratch Kids & the Trolls entering the Post-Scratch game will be released on the 31st of May.
And it will use 'Beta Version' from the album Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido. Because if it did, not only would the song tie into the flash, it would keep up with the current theme of using songs from the solo albums a year after the albums were released.
 * Jossed

A player's Class and Aspect are determined at ectobiological creation, and under normal circumstances, players and their ancestors share Aspects.
It seems strange that the ancestors would have the powers of an aspect if they had never played Sburb/Sgrub in that particular iteration of the universe, so it seems more likely that Paradox Space gives all potential players their Class and Aspect at creation as an intrinsic quality. The Trolls' ancestors all seem to have the same Aspect as their descendant, which implies that ancestor-player pairs typically share Aspects. The only reason that the two sets of human players do not follow this pattern is because Paradox Space knew that the pre-Scratch humans would join the post-Scratch session as players and gave the post-Scratch humans different Aspects to avoid redundancy.
 * The way players are created ectobiologically lends some doubt to this. Rose and Dave can just as easily be said to be descended from each other's Guardians; same with John and Jade.

Equius, Nepeta, Eridan, and Feferi will become God Tier...
By Gamzee putting them on the Alpha Kids quest beds, considering they are also Void/Heart/Hope/Life.

Anyone who's not God Tier cannot enter the universe they create.
Vriska was, at the time, the only God Tier troll, so Skaia sent Jack Noir their way to ensure they couldn't enter their new universe. That Karkat talks about his plan to be a "god" in the new universe may back this up. Relatedly, all the post-Scratch kids will end up either God Tier or dead, with the most likely outcomes being "all dead" or "all dead except Jane".

The whole thing is All Just a Dream
Act 7 will show John, playing in his backyard with several toys strewn about, playing out Homestuck. As he either awakens or stops playing, the last line of the comic will be: "It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time."

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