Invader Zim/Funny

%Please list examples by episode when possible%

Pilot:
"(Zim walks up to a child while holding a lunchtray) Zim: I eat food! JUST LIKE YOU! (child stares and leaves)"
 * During the episode, Zim is in the lunchroom and attempts to fit in. It doesn't go well.

"Zim: Now that's good ea-- (Zim falls off the chair, back-first)"
 * When he scooches/walks, scoochwalks up to a kid and screams out of nowhere, "I HAVE A STOMACH!"
 * And the Scare Chord.
 * And this after he eats the beans.

The Nightmare Begins:
"Zim: I put the fires out. Tallest Purple: You made them worse. Zim: Worse... or better?"
 * One of the Almighty Tallest (i think it was Purple) while talking about how smoke machines was the new thing, he gets hit by one of the lasers.
 * "But Invader's blood marches through my veins. Like... giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"
 * Even funnier when you think about the commentary where Richard (Zim's voice actor) said he was supposed to say 'rubber ants', which even he said made more sense, but Jhonen found pants so funny he kept it.
 * The Doom Song.
 * Watch. Before the radar goes off, you can see Zim reaching over to strangle GIR. Priceless.
 * Also, Zim wreaking havoc with a giant robot in a flashback, laughing maniacally, along with an attendant shouting "But Sir, we're still on our home planet!"
 * "Silence! Twist those knobs! Twist those knobs! And you! Pull some levers! PULL SOME LEVERS!"
 * Immediately followed by this exchange.

"Tallest Purple: Weren't you banished to Foodcourtia? Shouldn't you be...frying something? Zim: Oh, I quit that after I heard about this! Tallest Purple: You quit being banished?!?!?"
 * Also:

"GIR: GIR, reporting for duty. Zim: GIR? What does the G stand for? GIR: I don't know. [pauses, then begins screaming and hitting himself] Zim: Ummm...is it supposed to be stupid? Tallest Purple: It's not stupid, [sarcastically] it's advanced!"
 * And:

"Dib: And what about his horrible green head?!? Zim: Insolent fool boy! It's a... skin condition. Dib: And he's got no ears! Is that part of your "skin condition," Zim? No ears?!? Zim: [looking sad] Yes."
 * As well as:

"Zim: And keep it down! Do you wanna wake up the whole planet?!" Beat GIR: I do."
 * The ice cream truck. The voice coming from its speaker said in a Austrian-sounding voice, "YOU LIKE ICE CREAM. YOU LIKE ICE CREAM. YOU LOVE IT. YOU CANNOT RESIST ICE CREAM. TO RESIST IS HOPELESS. YOUR EXISTENCE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT ICE CREAM."
 * "Not now, son. I'm MAKINNNNNG... (electrocutes something) TOAST!" (raises a piece of toast into the air)
 * Zim's reaction to Ms. Bitters saying she doesn't want to hear another sound from him.

"Dib: Finally! A way to prove that I'm...I'm... Zim: Dur, crazy... Rita: Okay now that makes sense."
 * "Can I be a mongoose dog?"


 * "I've been preparing for this moment all my life." *gnome zaps away handcuffs* "Okay...I'm gonna go home now and prepare some more!"
 * Gaz: "Dib drank the last soda...HE. WILL. PAY."
 * GIR saw a squirrel.
 * "Invader Zim signing off..." *GIR crashes into Zim from above causing Zim to fall down* "UGH MY SPINE!"

Bestest Friend:

 * The scientist that's in the background, near the right in the fake interview with that scientist who said that he caught Zim because he had no friends in "Bestest Friends..." whenever he shows up, I start laughing like a complete idiot for no reason.
 * Zim going up to a kid saying he's looking to see if he's interested in being his friend and the kid says "I was born with webbed fish toes, like some kind of horrible fish boy. Wanna see?" and Zim quickly backs off with a disturbed look on his face.
 * The montage of Keef and Zim acting like "best friends", especially with the music and the end where Zim shoves Keef away.
 * "MEOWWWW!"

NanoZIM:
"Gaz: (to Dib) When you die, can I play?"

"Dib: Arm control nerve in my belly? Zim: That's right. Dib: Humans don't have arm control nerves in thei-- Zim: DO NOT QUESTION ME! I CONTROL YOUR ARMS!"
 * And no, she's probably not talking about in the game.
 * Not to mention Dib's "finishing move."
 * Dib: ARMS. LIKE. NOODLES!!!!!!!

Parent Teacher Night:
"Mom Robot: Oh no. Honey, is it...? Dad Robot: Yep. DIARRHEAAAAAAAAAAaaHuh."
 * When Zim tries to program his robot parents to behave more realistically for their trip to a parent-teacher conference, he leaves the duty to GIR, who predictably messes them up by showing them random TV shows and commercials. At the conference, Zim's father robot takes a bite of one parent's homemade cookies and starts doubling over in pain.

"Ms. Bitters: Don't forget that tonight is Parent Teacher Night. Everyone is required to bring their parents to the cafeteria. Zim: I never agreed to attend this Parent Teacher Night! Ms. Bitters: Yes, you did. Zim: No! You lie! [makes wild scratching motions with his arms] YOU LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! [Ms. Bitters puts a disc into a computer. The chalkboard slides down revealing a screen showing Zim] Ms Bitters: [on video] Zim, are you going to bring your parents to Parent Teacher Night? Zim: [on video, not paying attention] Yeah, sure, whatever. [Zim looks up at a ceiling-mounted video camera] Zim: Why would you tape that?"
 * Zim's robot parents were hilarious during this episode. "NOOOOO! My squeezing arm! Not my SQUEEZING ARM!"
 * "Can't you see this woman is suffering from severe pokey-trauma?"
 * "Oh, and you've just got to see these pictures! Here's Billy cryin' when he was kicked off the soccer team for cryin' too much!" *Billy begins crying*.
 * "NO! YOU GOT THE MIXTURE ALL WRONG!" (explosion)
 * The following:

"Dib: [in Zim's thought bubble] See you AND your parents tonight, Zim! And by the way, it's not called "Parent Teacher Night." It's called Zim Doom...Doom Zim...Zimmy...Doom night. [chortles] Watch out for that puppy. [Zim trips over the puppy]"
 * As well as:

"Ms. Bitters: (to parents) "When you were my students, I said you'd amount to nothing. And I was right. You're NOTHING!""
 * Don't forget this gem:

"Dib: Hello Zim. Zim: Dib... Dib: Dad, there's somebody I want you to meet. This is Zim. You know, the alien(!). Membrane: And what country is the little green boy from? Zim: Yes, yes that's fascinating. (runs away but quickly comes back and hits Dib's cup causing it to hit him in the face with punch)"
 * Funnier still, that's a Call Back to Ms. Bitters' lesson earlier about how there was 'NOTHING' before The Big Bang.
 * And:


 * And later after Dib throws punch on Zim, Zim opens his mouth to yell at him, but only makes a hissing noise before he's cut off.
 * "I love you cold, unfeeling robot arm!"

Walk of Doom:

 * Highlights include GIR replacing his guidance chip with a cupcake, Zim's experience with public transport, and "BEEEEEES!"
 * "Awwwwwwww. My bees."
 * "Wait a minute... I'M BLIIIIIIND!"
 * "Gyaaaaa! They've booby trapped their sun somehow!"
 * Zim to the bus driver after being asked for the fare: "Have you the brainworms?"
 * Zim's first exchange with the bus driver: "Mind your business, BUS SLAVE!"
 * SWAT Guy: "That's him....THAT'S THE GUY..and he's back for MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE.... Get him!"
 * Zim. In Mexico. The music is what seals the deal.
 * And GIR dancing.
 * "I miss you, cupcake..."

Germs:
"GIR: Aww somebody needs a hug! Zim: No no no no no Gir no! GIR: I'M GONNA HUG YOU! Zim: *runs out of house screaming*"
 * SPAAAAAACE MEEEEAAAT!
 * "Not having access to that technology, we make ours out of napkins."
 * "I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a little bit, 'kay?"
 * The following:

Dark Harvest:
"ZIM: (after getting hit with a dodgeball) OW! MY SQUEEDLYSPOOTCH! Dib: Did you hear that? He said Squeedlyspootch. That's not a human organ! Gaz: I have a squeedlyspootch."

"Ms. Bitters: "Zim!" Zim:﻿ "SIR!""
 * Zim's got head pigeons.
 * And then there's this gem:


 * Zootch's delivery of the line "Mis organos...!" in the Spanish dub somehow manages to be even funnier than the original.

Battle-Dib:
"Exam Robot: 94%. Your score is...UNACCEPTABLE! And then right after: Exam Robot: (to Dib) 94.1%. Your score is...ACCEPTABLE! CONGRATULATIONS! (Shoots out confetti)"


 * "Shunk not bad. SHUNK EAT ENEMY!!!!"
 * "WHY SHUNK'S DREAMS NO COME TRUE?"
 * "From this day, until the END of the day, VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE."

Planet Jackers:
"Zim: Something is broken and it's not your fault?! GIR: I know, I'm scared too."

Rise of the Zitboy:
"Pizza Guy: Here's the pizza you ordered. GIR: (teary-eyed) Th-thank you... I... I love you. Zim: GIR! We're supposed to keep humans away from our home, not invite them in! GIR: I had a coupon!"
 * GIR and the Pizza Guy.


 * What makes it even funnier is the way the guy says it, "Here's the pizza you or-DERD."
 * Zim: Why WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP??!?
 * GIR: I MADE IT MYSELF!!
 * Even funnier because Zim tore open a wrapper to get to the soap. GIR went to a lot of trouble to put bacon in it.
 * In the commentary for that episode, Richard Horvitz specifically mentions that as his favorite exchange.

Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain:
"Zim: GIR! Tacos are not worth compromising the mission! I am your master, and you will obey me, so obey me! (beat) Please? GIR: I guess you're right... I'll get a giant burrito, too!"
 * GIR takes over the house's computer systems, and suddenly decides he wants to go get Mexican take-out.


 * GIR proceeds to turn the house into a giant robot and run off to Krazy Taco.
 * "So, that's two large tacos, a burrito, and a medium GIR-Take-Us-Back-To-The-Base-Right-Now. Would you like anything to drink?"
 * "I need tacos, I need tacos or I will explode....that happens to me sometimes"
 * From the same episode, GIR making Zim dance.

Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy:
"GIR: Wait...if you destroy Dib in the past, then he won't ever be your enemy. Then you won't have to send a robot back to destroy him... and then he will be your enemy, so then you will have to send a robot back...(GIR's head explodes)""
 * GIR's brief moment of brilliance is downright hilarious.

"Professor Membrane: Anyone who would build a space-time object replacement device is a complete MORON! Meanwhile, in Zim's lair, as if on cue, even as Membrane's Power Echoes fade out... Zim: GIR! The space-time object replacement device is complete!"
 * Professor Membrane outlining the dangers of altering the timeline:


 * On a related note, the giant fish in a bear suit. "He would be HORRIBLE! Look at him go!"
 * "No! These are for science!" *holds up rubber-piggy* "SCIENCE!"

A Room with a Moose:
"Zim: But I choose this particular wormhole especially for the occasion...You see, at the end of this wormhole lies...A ROOM! WITH A MOOSE!!! Flashes to a white room with a moose staring menacingly Dib: NOOOO- Wait a minute, did you say a room with a moose?

Zim: Yes, your fear is overwhelming, no?

Dib: Um, no. What's so scary about a room with a stupid moose in it? I mean, yeah, that's a big moose, but really.

Zim: OH, I WILL SHOW YOU! PREPARE YOUR BLADDER FOR IMMINENT RELEASE!!!"

"Zim: Now, Dib, I leave you to your... GIR: (whispering) "Moosey fate!" Say "moosey fate!" Zim: ...(Ponders this before deciding it's actually a good idea) Your moosey fate."
 * When Zim drops the episode's title this troper cries every time with laughter.
 * Zim, after using the toilet, screams, " LEAAAAAAAVE NOOOOOO EVIDEEEEEEEEEEEENCE. " (He was actually destroying evidence of an evil scheme.)


 * MY BUSINESS IS DONE! Also, "Nonsense I had much to do! SO MUCH!" And "Ms. Bitters I have a MIGHTY NEED to use the restroom."

Hamstergeddon:

 * OHHHH YEAHHHHH....ULTRA PEEPI...
 * The crew says that this wasn't on purpose; when they got the animation of Ultra Peepi walking, it looked like this, so they made that music for it.

Plague of Babies:

 * "He's cute. And sticky looking. HI BABY!" (is tackled by Zim)
 * I AM THE NEIGHBORHOOD BABY-INSPECTOR!
 * "Get him! Eat his feet off!"

Bloaty's Pizza Hog:

 * "Reign of terror, Gaz! Reign of terror!"

Door to Door:
"Poop Dawg: And if you thinks you all's somethin' with the top sellies... and... wit... [normal voice] I can't do this. Director: CUT!"
 * Poop Dawg's Totally Radical routine is funny, but one line towers above the others


 * "Please buy my candy or my little brother will go insane."
 * "YAAAYYY, I'M GONNA BE SICK!"
 * Then, during the initial Zerg Rush of children, lasers can be seen going through the air. Why? Because it's funny. And the reaction of the adults: "Fundraising...children! AAAAAAAAGH!" This is especially funny if you really did have to sell stuff door-to-door as a kid.
 * Then, during the initial Zerg Rush of children, lasers can be seen going through the air. Why? Because it's funny. And the reaction of the adults: "Fundraising...children! AAAAAAAAGH!" This is especially funny if you really did have to sell stuff door-to-door as a kid.

FBI Warning of Doom:
"Zim: Computer! give me all the information you have on the FBI. Computer: The FBI is a government law-enforcement agency. Zim: Continue! Computer: Insufficient data. Zim: Insufficient data?! Can't you just make an educated guess?
 * Slab Rankle. That is all.
 * The computer's definition of the FBI.

Computer: O...kay. Um...Founded in 1492 by...uh...demons, the FBI is a crack law-enforcement contingency designed to...uh...I dunno...fight...aliens?"

""Federal law provides severe civil and criminal penalties for the unauthorized reproduction, distribution, exhibition of copyrighted motion pictures in any medium (Title 17; United States Code, Section 501 and 506). The Federal Bureau of Investigation investigates allegations of criminal copyright infringements. They will hunt you down like the dirty monkey you are and force you to wear a moose skin and ride a greased pig while singing folk tunes. They are forcing me to ride the piggy as I write this. The piggy is smelly!!""
 * Don't forget the pictures of them flying around and using corn as guns.
 * The movie GIR is watching opens with an FBI warning that starts off as the usual piracy notice but takes a turn for the bizarre halfway through.


 * Although that should really have been expected, considering it actually started with Warning of Doom!!!
 * Slab decides it's TIME FOR ZOMBIES! ...And they are so non-threatening (being, well, mindless shambling zombies) that Zim doesn't even have to try to avoid them in the last few feet to the return slot. He even uses one's head as a step-stool. Glorious.

Bolognius Maximus:
"Ms. Bitters: Dib, you stink! Go and roll around in the toilet until you smell better. Dib: But I'll smell like the toilet. Ms. Bitters: Exactly."
 * This.
 * This exchange:

Game Slave 2:
"Rat Woman: I was once a man... Dib: But... you're a woman."
 * IGGINS!!! Best Writer Revolt ever.
 * Dib meeting the rat people living in the mall parking lot.

Battle of the Planets:
"Zim: GIR, get off my head!"

"Professor Membrane: (strictly) Where are you going at this hour? Dib: Uh..you know... Professor Membrane (via a puppet of himself, wearily): To save the Earth? Dib: Uh huh. (leaves) Professor Membrane (disappointed): My poor insane son."

"Zim: Why would you do all that? Martian Instruction Manual: Because it's cool."
 * A hologram of a Martian explains to Zim that the now-extinct Martian race died out while working to convert Mars into a spaceship:

""Oohwazzatwhatdoesthisdowhat'sthatwhat'sthatwhatisthiswhatdoesthisthingdo...""
 * GIR's method of sabotaging Dib's "ship":

"Tallest Red: Greetings, Zim. Working hard, it seems. Doing us proud. Zim: Why yes, yes I am... I'm in a bear suit!"
 * Four words: The Soda Can Guy. The greatest Big No ever.
 * Zim contacts his leaders to update them on his progress... while wearing a fluffy bear suit.


 * Soon after: "I am becoming impatient with this subtle infiltration, and grow ever hungrier for the destruction of the humans. DESTRUCTION IS NICE!"
 * "Real science. Try it!"

Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom:
"Zim: Where are we? Dib: Some kind of alternate universe. It's based on my imagination somehow. Zim: And you brought me here?! You sickening, troublesome human! (Zim activates his PAK legs and approaches Dib threateningly) Dib: Hey! The only way out is through my head! Anything happens to me and you're stuck here forever! (Zim retracts his robot spider legs) Zim: Curse yoooouuuu! Wait; I can still do stuff to your legs, right? Dib: I guess, but- wait! No! Zim: Curse yoooouuuu!"


 * The dancing skeletons that randomly appear after a wave of bats fly at the screen.
 * Dib nonchalantly standing there and eating a lollipop while Zim threatens to destroy him.
 * "I've had enough of your nonsense from your smelly mouth filled with...corn!"
 * "I'LL GET YOU, DIB! YOU STINKING HUMAN!!!"
 * "He said we could destroy his friend. Then he threw a can at my head. It hurt."

Mysterious Mysteries:
"Gaz: WHO ARE YOU?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!! (throws food at host)"
 * Although the entirety of the episode is pretty much one Moment of Funny after another (thanks to the host's clear wish to kill himself and the world's worst dramatic reenactments ever), GIR's version of events takes the cake. Just... wow.
 * *In a heavy Received Pronunciation accent* "But I need these monies to buy nutrients!"
 * "I was a chubby lady, hiding in the bushes!"
 * This one deserves context. GIR was the robot in a tape Dib made and sent to Mysterious Mysteries. GIR went on the show as a "mystery informant" with his face mostly pixellated. This foot-tall, metallic "mystery informant" was not the foot-tall robot in the tree, but a chubby lady hiding in the bushes. Named "Stacy".
 * The host visiting Dib's house.

"Host: Are you an alien? Zim: LIES! THE FILTHY EARTH BOY LIES! [Beat] ...I mean, 'no'."
 * Don't forget:

Future Dib:
"Professor Membrane: So I got to thinking. Why has nobody made a power source that needs no fuel? WHYYYYYY?!"

"Zim: GIR! GIR! Unleash the monkey! GIR: [walks up to microphone] "MONKEY!" [walks away]"

Megadoomer:
"Zim: Now, fight an enemy you cannot see! Dib: ...you're right there. Zim: What? Dib: There! Your mighty Irken cloaking device cloaks the robot but not you! Zim: LIES! Now, BEHOLD THE DOOM CANNON! Dib: I can't. It's invisible. Zim: ...but you can see me? Dib: That's what I said. Zim: OH, THAT'S STUPID!! Dib: Really stupid! Zim: YOU DARE AGREE WITH ME?! Prepare to meet your horrible DOOM!!"
 * Zim receives a giant robot capable of ultimate destruction and plans to destroy Dib with it. The robot's cloaking device only cloaks the robot itself (making it look like Zim's floating in midair) and makes as much noise as humanly possible, so when he shows up at Dib's house:

GIR: "Oooooooooooh-AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" *spazzes out*
 * Early in the episode, Zim is walking back from Skool with an unnamed boy, ranting and raving semi-coherently about Dib. Then the boy asks, "What are you talking about? Who are you?"
 * The entire sequence of Zim in the Megadoomer with the cloaking device on; basically the robot is completely invisible except for Zim (who looks like he's floating in mid-air), and GIR has to constantly find a plug outlet to keep it working.
 * This exchange:
 * Zim: Do you know what that means, GIR?!

The Sad, Sad Tale of Chickenfoot:
"Chicken Foot: I used to be a man, just like you. And I worked in a chicken restaurant, just like you. Dib: I don't work in a chicken restaurant. Chicken Foot: DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!"
 * "I thought you were one of those kids after me lucky neck meats. They're aaallllways after me lucky neck meats. Y'see me neck meats? They're lucky."
 * "Wait! Come back! You're not a freak! You're just stupid!"
 * I WANT MY SLAW!
 * YOU HAVE YOUR SLAW, SIR!
 * Dib, while watching a show on paranormal activity, sees footage of a "horrible chicken monster", to which he says "That's not a monster! That's a guy in a chicky-licky suit! I can see the zipper!"
 * Later on in the same episode, you get: "This here's a dirty chicken toy. Squeeze it, and it makes a noise. And its beak comes off as a grappling hook." "That's a..... weird thing for a chicken to do."
 * In that same episode:

GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff:
"Duty!GIR: Sir, target is a hologram and therefore not a threat to our mission! Zim: And what is our mission, GIR? Duty!GIR: Blend in with the indigenous life, analyze their weaknesses, prepare the planet for the coming badness. Yay."

"What makes this really funny is that according to the kid's shirt, his name is Nick"
 * "I have captured the enemy for meat-testing. Praise me! PRAISE MEE!"
 * "I'd planned to spend this afternoon experimenting on the happiness centers of that Earth child's brain..."
 * "I'm...so happy! All the time! Just great!"


 * "You're in a filthy Earth-brain hospital. Your feelings are normal. There's a squid brain in your head!"
 * Squidman is a CMOF all by himself.
 * "My tentacles! What happened to my tentacles!?"
 * "Please, just take me back to the sea!"
 * From the DVD Commentary, after Squidman shoots ink, another crew member asks how he did it. Jhonen's response? "With his natural ink-shooting glands, of course."
 * "He's gettin' eaten by a shark!"
 * "Dance with us, GIR! Dance with us into oblivion!"
 * "HI COW!"
 * "Headless clown! HEADLESS CLOWN!"
 * "GIR, bring me cowwwwww~"
 * I WILL MAKE YYY-oo-OO-uu SUFFER LARGE, AL-E-EEN!!
 * Made all the more hilarious when it's revealed in the DVD Commentary that Jhonen had told Andy Berman to "try to do Dib, but badly" for that scene. Jhonen jokingly remarked that "he did it the best he's ever done Dib, ever."

Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom:
"(Muffin hits Zim) Zim: (looking everywhere) What?! Who?! Gaz: (to Dib, both watching Zim from another table) That...that was horrible. Zim: (grabbing the muffin) Who did this?!! (he jumps on the table) Who dares to soil my normal boy-head with this... PORK COW?!! Random kid in the cafeteria: THAT'S A STINKIN' MUFFIN! Zim: Silence!! Whatever this is, I will find the beast who threw it, I WILL FIND YOU!! Sleep peacefully now, for it is the last peaceful sleep you will KNOW FROM THIS MOMENT ON!
 * "Delicious. Delicious! I'M NORMAL!"
 * While they're in the school cafeteria, Dib throws a muffin at Zim, who overreacts as usual:

Another kid: But we're not asleep right now!

(There's a pause as the kids stare at Zim, then he yells like a lunatic and bursts through the doors.)

Gaz: ...that was pretty funny."

"Zim: Oh, just one more thing... *taps a control* (A massive cannon descends from the ceiling, powers up...and fires a muffin at Dib's head. Cue ridiculously inappropriate maniacal laughter from Zim)"
 * "It's been nice working with you, GIR, now self destruct."
 * "FINALLY!" (cue giggling and poof sound)
 * The very end of the episode where Zim discovers Dib had thrown the muffin at his head and kicks him out of his base.

TAK: The Hideous New Girl:
"Tak: I was placed on a janitorial squad... and then sent to Planet Dirt!"

"Dib: You can't do this! People will know somethings up. I mean look at this place, it's enormous!!! Tak: The great thing about your people, Dib, is that most of them don't notice. All they see is another corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest!

Dib: Wait, is there really a difference?

(there is an explosion and Zim bursts through the wall)

Zim: It's over, Tak! The Earth is mine to devastate! ...and I already promised the moon to GIR.

Dib: Zim!? How'd you know we'd be here!?

Zim: I placed a tracking device on you.

Dib: Tracking device!? Where?

(Dib turns around revealing GIR has been on the back of his head the entire time)

GIR: Your head smells like a puppy!"

"(Later, Zim and Dib argue over Mimi's memory disk.) Zim: I'm the only one with the technology to decode the files! Dib: And we're the only ones with the files to be decoded! GIR: (trying to sound serious) AND I'M... hee, hee, hee, I dunno! Dib: Your base, our disk, Zim. Let us see the base! Zim: After we destroy Tak, I'm going to feed your brains to my robot! Dib: Deal! GIR: YAY! BRAINS!"

"Zim: Yes, yes, so you blame me for your horrible life, blah, blah, blah, BIG DEAL! Tak: This is about taking your mission, Zim, not revenge! Zim: You're after revenge?! Tak: NOOOOOO! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what's rightfully mine. I should have been an Invader! I should have been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't HAVE to be stealing THIS planet from YOU! Zim: [pause] YOU'RE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!"
 * GIR making Gaz dance.
 * (sing-song) "Only if ya dance with meeee!"
 * There's this little exchange:

""For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you Someone with a head like yours and a torso too. Birds sing and you're gonna pay. The end! HERE'S SOME MEAT COVERED IN BARBECUE SAUCE!" (throws meat at Zim)"
 * Tak's poem.

"Tallest Purple: *Putting his own head where the puppet's was* Um...That's great Zim, sounds great. *Puppet arms flail wildly, and Tallest Red giggles* Don't worry, that's just my arms flailing and giggling- *Puppet arm punches him in the face'* QUIT IT! *Puppet arm punches him in the face again* QUIT IT!"
 * The Tallest Red and Purple replacing themselves with puppets during a transmission with Zim. The Tallest Purple puppet gets its head punched off, which leads to this exchange...

"Zim: Oh no, despite his large head, the Dib-monkey is quite stupid. Dib: MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!"
 * This small exchange:

Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars:
"Zim: GIR! What do you think you're doing?! GIR: I made mashed pot-tay-toes!"

"Robomom: "Hey! HEEYY! HEEY, EVERYONE! HEEEYYY! Won't you come on over and help us EAT this little boy?""

"Zim: (stares) ...I was wondering what that turkey was doing there."
 * "It's me! I was the turkey all along! ... I was the turkey! MEEEEEE!

"Zim: You're nothing, Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self! Dib: ...O-kay. There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said."
 * This episode is undoubtedly the funniest of the entire series, from the best Overly Long Gag ever ("My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Over here! My Tallest!") to the Good News, Bad News inflicted on the Resisty ("And the good news?" "Well it's been replaced by a new, horrible one"), but the crowning moment is definitely Zim's Epic Fail at an insult:

"Zim:(laughing) I said evil! Dib: NOOOOOOOOOO!
 * Don't forget this priceless scene:

Professor Membrane: (from downstairs) Son! There had better not be any walking dead up there!

Dib: There's nothing to worry about dad! And I said I was sorry about that!"


 * And then of course there's the Tallest's lines when the Massive is about to crash into a star... "It's not so bad." "I think so too."
 * What about the "Shrinky Self-Destruct"? Zim's about to crush Dib with a spaceship...only for it to shrink down to the size of a fly, then make a pitiful piff noise as it explodes. Cue crickets.
 * AAAAAAAAHHHHANDQUITMAKINGFUNOFMYHEADAAAAAAH
 * "Yaaaaaay! I don't know what you just said!"
 * "Come on, son! Let's go play in the toilet!"

Mortos der Soulstealer:
"GIR "I had a sammich in my head!!!""

"Dib: ZIM! Zim: WHAT? Dib: ZIM! Zim: WHAT? Dib: ZIM! Zim: WHAAAT? Dib: You'll never get away with it! Zim: THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU!"
 * GIR looking into a pet store at some puppies and Zim dragging him away, declaring, "You can eat later!"
 * And also Zim and Dib's yelled "conversation" across a street in this episode:

"Zim: I am infecting this city with genetically enhanced vermin. But you'll never know! Dib: You Just Told Me. (Zim gives him an annoyed glare then...) YOU'RE LYING!!!!!!!"
 * Which apparently, was originally going to have traffic constantly flying through the road.
 * Frankly, it's significantly more fantastic because they couldn't put the cars in.
 * Zim and Dib are really a whole trove of wacky in that episode. Also memorable is:


 * GIR throwing a sandwich at Dib's head. He throws it so hard that it sends Dib flying through the air and crashing through the wall of the nearest building.
 * It's actually fired out of GIR's head.
 * "SAMMICH!!!!!!"
 * "CAN IT PROTECT YOU FROM THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS?"

ZIM Eats Waffles:
"Zim: "GIR, your waffles have sickened me! Fetch me the buckeeeet!""
 * The entire episode of "Zim Eats Waffles." Especially...

"Zim"Talking about my evil plan is making me tired. How about we have a moment of silence, huh?" (LONG Beat) GIR: "I... Love... Waffles..""
 * "Oh no! He's trying to steal our beaver technology!"
 * Zim: "Hey, these aren't bad. What's in 'em?" GIR: "There's waffle in 'em!" Zim: (pause) "YOU'RE LYING!"
 * "THESE GOT PEANUTS AND SOAP IN THEM!"


 * There's something inherently funny about ZIM and GIR, who are usually screaming at the top of their lungs and destroying things, sitting around having a calm, completely normal conversation about "that ugly neighbor lady."

Dibship Rising:
"Professor Membrane: Now, Gaz, if you could just put that can of beans in the proton oven! Be sure to take them out of the can or the explosion will destroy all human life! Gaz: (A little later on in the episode) That didn't destroy all life as we know it. You LIED TO ME, DAD!"


 * Dibship trying to go to school. The inappropriately happy background music is what really sells it.

Vindicated:

 * Dib asks the new guidance counselor at the Skool, Mr. Dwicky, what happened to the old counselor. The camera then slowly pans upward and a raspy voice from the air duct says "Help...meeeee..."
 * Really? I thought that was Nightmare Fuel.
 * Can't it be both?

Gaz, Taster of Pork:
"GIR: I GOT MONKEYS IN ME!"

""I AM THE SHADOWHOG! WHAT IS IT YOU WANT FROM ME, CHILD WHO CONJURED ME AND CHILD WHO WAS BLESSED' WITH PIG'' SENSES.""
 * "There are no curses son." (Randomly contorts) "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" (Immediately returns to normal)
 * I don't know why, but that kid with the apple just gets me everytime.
 * Don't forget when the hobo kidnaps that random guy with the ice cream cone.
 * The Shadowhog himself is made of win.


 * "Then-and only then- will I stop talking to myself."

The Frycook What Came from All That Space:
"Dib: Zim is an alien! Why do I even have to try and prove it this much?!"

"Sizz-Lorr: Now put on this Happy Shloogor costume and fill the customers with joy! Zim: But it's full of white hot grease! Sizz-Lorr: Makes you dance better!"
 * When Zim is attempting to escape to Earth, singing "Doodey-doo-too-doo-too-TOO-" and is cut short by his vehicle exploding. Trust me, it's much funnier when you hear it.
 * Zim not recognizing Sizz-Lor until he puts on his frycook hat.
 * The costume Zim is forced to wear.


 * Dib and GIR dancing, accompanied by squeaky noises and the Tallests watching from a video screen in the background.
 * "Snacky Cab station is now closed! Any cabs not docked will explode for no apparent reason!"

The Most Horrible X-mas Ever:
"Bow down, bow down Before the power of Santa Or be crushed, be crushed By his jolly boots of doom!"


 * "I don't get it! Why does Zim want to take over the Earth so BADLY? I mean, what does he have to gain? or to LOOOSE? And the mechanizations of this malfunctioning Santa suit COMPLEEETELY ELUUUUDE ME!"
 * Then the robot snowman shoves him under the bed.
 * Professor Membrane: Friend of Mankind, Enemy of Santa Claus.

Abducted:
"Zim: Now go answer the door. Gir: Unintelligible shrieking while monkey noises play in the background."

Other/General
{{quote| Jhonen: {whispering) Hi, I'm Jhonen Vasquez, creator of Invader Zim, to my left is Richard Horvitz, voice of Zim.
 * Arguably the entirety of the commentary tracks on the DVDs could be considered a CMOF.
 * The cast and crew totally losing it over the bottomless coffee cup in "Battle of the Planets".
 * Richard doing horrible impressions, supposedly his previous voices for Zim.
 * Most of the "wacky" introductions are priceless, like the crew snoring through the opening and then "waking up" when the episode starts or chewing noisily on junk food as they introduce themselves. This troper's personal favorite, however, is the whispering one. It starts:

Richard: {whispering) Hi, I'm Richard Horvitz, voice of Zim. To my left is Jhonen Vasquez, and to my right is Rikki Simons, colorist and voice of GIR.

Rikki: {whispering) Hi, I'm Rikki Simons, colorist and voice of GIR, to my left is Jhonen Vasquez and Richard Horvitz, to my right is... }} {{quote| I'd just like to say that if I were a member of an alien race - which I'm not!-I'd have to take this opportunity to say - Filthy Earth creatures! It is clear who the superior species is! Isn't it?!  Isn't it?!  You stink! }} {{quote| "PROCESSING, PROCESSING!!"}}
 * It goes straight into Overly Long Gag territory, seeing as there's about seven people on the track, but circles back into being funny again when Danielle Koening (story editor) forgets to whisper, jarring the almost certainly despondent audience and everyone else starts yelling at her for killing the gag.
 * Some commentaries open with the crew explaining that they've been doing the recordings shacked up in an abandoned house, rapidly running out of food, for at least 800+ days. "Andy's gone." "We ate Andy." "It doesn't matter, though, because America hates Andy." is one of the best exchanges to come out of this gag. (He gets better.)
 * Richard Horvitz jokingly invoking Hilarious in Hindsight: "And I took one look at the script and thought 'Yep, this show could last at least 26 episodes."
 * Zim's Giant Ego is probably one of the definitive CMOF traits of the show. Even though he is a complete failure as a human and an Irken, his super inflated ego blinds him into constantly believing he is the single greatest being in the universe, which makes his character so stupidly hilarious to watch. For example, in the episode "Walk For Your Lives," Zim's plan to get rid of a gigantic slow-moving explosion is to simply speed it up and and have it explode like normal. While his computer and even GIR(?!) warn him against doing so, Zim nonetheless carries this out because in his mind, all of his ideas are genius. "I AM ZIM!"
 * Another hilarious example of this: Despite the fact that Zim is supposed to blend in with everyone on Earth, he still cannot restrain himself in announcing to everyone that his Irken species is so much better than their's.
 * The computer:

{{quote| Zim: "I don't pay you to contradict me!"

Computer: "You don't pay me at all." }}

{{quote| Zim: ...and why was my computer coughing?}}

[unproduced episode] Mopiness of Doom:
"GIR: Listen to me, he needs you Mary [Dib]! You two good friends! Like hot dogs! Please hunt my Master again! COUCH!"

Zim: (after Dib returns from his Ten-Minute Retirement) You have no idea how happy that makes me, you revolting little worm!"

"Dib: It's over, ZIM! There's nowhere left for you to hide!

ZIM: What about my house?

Dib: Oh, yeah, I guess you can hide there...HEY WAIT! NO! Stay where you are!

ZIM: Or what, you're gonna stop me with your oven mitt?

Dib: It's not an oven mitt, you lizard, it's a genuine freezing talisman. There's no way you'll escape its power.

ZIM: Your loony "PARA-CHUTING" powers don't scare me, Dib. All it does is make you look stupid!

Dib: It's para-NORMAL, and you're wrong, it makes me look cool!"

[unproduced episode] The Trial:
"Tallest Purple: But some Irkens, they get fitted with damaged I.D. PAKs. These people are called "Defectives" and must be deactivated, erased, never to be remembered.

Smeet Timmy: Thank you mista' PURPLE! I SMART NOW!

Tallest Purple: The child knows too much. TO THE DUNGEONS WITH IT!"

[unproduced episode] Nubs of Doom:
"Zim: (to Minimoose) If I were capable of love, I might actually love you, maybe!"

[unproduced episode] Ten Minutes to Doom:
"Dib: IT'S NOT A SHIRT! It's taking over my inferior human mind! You have to analyze it! I'm sure you'll be amazed."

[unproduced episode] Return of Keef:
"GIR: You just gotta give him a chance, and open up his head and sleep in it like a squishy little bed."