Hellsing/WMG

Hellsing

Brahm Gallager is Alucard

 * He was one of the experts on Vlad the Impaler in the "Vlad vs Sun Tzu" episode. He wears red (the same color Alucard always wears), seems to relish in destruction and bloodlust, always has a Slasher Smile, and he gushes about how much of a badass Vlad was. Basically, he's talking about himself.

One or more of the characters is a Time Lord.

 * Schrodinger, obviously.

Alucard is Carmen Sandiego.
I mean, seriously.
 * So, taking in consideration the whole red trenchcoat stuff, he's also Vash the Stampede, and, to some extent, Edward Elric? Or, by clothing style, Kurodo Akabane, AKA Dr. Jackal? If so, the Time Lord theory might be true.
 * Carmen Sandiego, Vash the Stampede, Edward Elric, and Kurodo Akabane are all descended from Alucard.
 * Not necessarily. Alucard also has the long black hair, red hat, and can take on a female form. Now we know how she was able to reach all the corners of the globe so damn quickly.

Hellsing is part of Trinity Blood's past.
And the Inquisition is the future form of Iscariot.

Integra has a Dead Man Switch for when she dies; Alucard and Seras will somehow die or be contained as well.
She clearly isn't doing anything to continue on the Hellsing lineage, and they're the ones the Seal is binding to. Her sense of duty would never allow her to let them go free; whether she likes them or not.

Integra is intentionally not having children to free Alucard from the Hellsing Seal.
But she doesn't consciously think or talk about it.
 * Possibly because she doesn't regard him as a servant in the end (they weren't addressed as master and servant, like Integra and Seras). But the "Hellsing Seal" began as Wild Mass Guess in itself in the Manga. In my years in the English fandom, it began mentioned by fans, pure speculation accepted as Fanon mostly derived from the Gonzo TV series, and never saw that one in the Japanese fandom. Never once this was mentioned in canon proper where Alucard can and has disobeyed Integra's orders without problem. If somebody only translates Hirano's interview in Puff Magazine, he defines the control restriction art Alucard can lift by himself with another purpose (IIRC: they help him to focus instead of being so lost in the soup of lives he had in the past). The Manga ending was a case of Now What, IMO.

All members of Iscariot were raised in Anderson's orphanage or in counterpart facilities in other locations, somewhat like Wammy's House for assassins.
In the world of Hellsing, the Catholic Church watches those in the care of its orphanage system for aggression and violent tendencies. Children strongly exhibiting these traits are separated from the general population and sent to specialized orphanages where they receive heavy indoctrination and combat training from an early age. The resulting adults are fanatically religious, fiercely loyal and indebted to the Church, and, as orphans, have no ties to the outside world, perfect employees for an agency that does not officially exist.
 * This is pretty much Word of Dante.
 * Given how all major Iscariot characters are shown to be raised by Anderson, it's not even Word of Dante ,but proper canon.

The technology that gave Alexander Anderson his regenerative capabilities comes from Millennium.
Hear me out: At the end of Volume 2, Enrico Maxwell quite cheerfully states to Integral that the reason he knows so much about Millennium is that the Catholic church assisted them at the end of WW 2. What he does not state is what the church got out of the deal, and while Doc's artificial vampire production experiments were still unsuccessful in September of 1944, he could have made greater headway in the months that followed or made other breakthroughs in biological enhancement which could have been applied to create a human regenerator.
 * Jossed by later volumes . He may have just been trying to piss Integra off.
 * Not necessarily jossed..

Doc was behind everything all along.
The Major really did die --body and mind-- in WW 2 and the robot body Doc made was just that, only a robotic replica containing nothing of Major's real consciousness and meant to serve as a puppet figurehead.
 * This is especially fairly sound of a theory if you count Coyote AND Angel Dust as canon... seeing as Krieg is in both, and they take place in overlapping time frames, with two wildly different character designs. It led me to personally believe Major's name to be some sort of codename that random people would be assigned, and Major is replaced as needed and that multiple people can be Major.

Schrodinger is an I-jin.
This came up in And Shine Heaven Now, and thinking about it it actually makes a lot of sense. Schrodinger not only shares his name with Erwin Schrodinger but his powers are somewhat based on Erwin's work as well. While the real Schrodinger may not have been a catboy the I-jin Jean-Henry Fabre is proof that an I-jin need not look or be completely human, and just as Fabre was known for his work with insects Schrodinger is popularly known for that cat.

Alucard is gay.
And not just because of his killer fashion sense. Just hear me out on this one. For one thing, look at his relationship with Walter. He knew Walter was straight, so he took on a Girlycard's form just to mess with him. And because he thought Walter was hot. Furthermore, his supposed thing for Integra is because she looks so gosh-darn manly. It would also explain that freaky fight with Rip, because she has similar physical traits to Integra. And what was WITH that whole scene with the hotel guy?
 * Well, it would explain his apparent sexual disinterest in Seras and his rampant Foe Yay with Anderson. Not to mention this.

The manga is drawn from Seras' perspective.
In volume 1, she still has a human's relatively crude sense of vision, so things appear rather ugly and distorted. In volume 2 she is starting to adjust to having superior vampire vision so things begin to appear clearer, more refined, and more detailed. As the series goes on, both Seras' vision and the artwork get much better until Seras maxes out her vampire powers and we get the artwork in its current state.

It would explain the Art Evolution.

Mina Harker married Abraham van Helsing or is Arthur's mother.
Think about it. Maybe Jonathan Harker died as soon after they were married and returned to England as a young virgin widower for the Count to slowly turn her. The omission of Jonathan Harker in the entire manga whereas it includes everyone else in the hunting party is glaring, the way Abraham (who is a lot younger than in the novel) personally tells Dracula he lost her forever in an angrily manner, the way Major claims that sanity (Abraham) and madness (Dracula) "fought over Her" (meaning Shi as Mina) and sanity won. We know Dracula's interests were amorous, why not Abraham's? Maybe Arthur and Richard had different mothers because Mina died young. This is a wild guess obviously. But since Abraham was the hero instead of Harker (who was the hero in the novel while Abraham was the old mentor), he "gets the girl".
 * This Troper used to be fond of that theory until . If Mina had indeed been the matriarch of the Hellsing line, shouldn't the family have ? Further, the fact that  brings up the possibility that.
 * I don't see why that contradicts it?  Furthermore, again I don't see why would that contradict it.
 * However, while admittedly not conclusive proof to the contrary, it was telling when  simply identified her as "Mina Harker" without following it up with something to the tune of, "Or rather, Mina van Helsing/Mina Hellsing," as might have been appropriate had Mina's inclusion in the Hellsing family tree been intended by the mangaka. Having begun Dracula as Mina Murray, Mina was inclined to take a husband's name, and the idea of her as Van Helsing's unwed babymama seems out of character for both of them, particularly given the era they lived.
 * She was inclined in Dracula, but Abraham in Dracula is an old man, Harker is the protagonist, and the Count dies in the end, the Count has no romantic interest in anyone either and he doesn't have an army of lives Abraham and the others fight against. Jonathan Harker's existence is not corroborated in the Manga. Maybe Mina was simply Mina Harker with all the list of changes. John Seward being Jack Seward (which wasn't his name either) in Hellsing.  didn't call her Wilhelmina (Mina was her nickname) either. Maybe she didn't change her family name or maybe   didn't know what happened (would he be even know?) or Arthur had any idea either. As if they would never keep a skeleton in the closet (Alucard). If she died in Arthur's childbirth or as soon after and Abraham suspected there could be a problem, I can easily see him silencing this, like Arthur never tells Integra every family secret ever (and Richard doesn't even know). Richard doesn't have a family resemblance to Arthur or to Integra (with their funny pointy hair), so I am counting he wasn't Mina's child or, in case Mina wasn't related to them, he wasn't Abraham's child. Arthur's speech of pity was uncanny in resemblance to Mina's in the novel. The idea began after I hear him say that. Maybe someday Hirano, in the Dawn, will offer us a full backstory of the Hellsing Bloodline (we can dream). On the fertility issues you mentioned , notice Arthur sleeps around and the only child he ever has in advanced age is Integra, Richard has no family and Integra  . So it could fit nicely with that observation.
 * WE know for a fact that Johnathan and Mina marry and have at least two kids, a son, Quincy and later a daughter. So that rules that out so Jonathan would have been alive when Abraham was talking to Dracula. Also, no, his voice sounds pretty old. Not the right age for Mina. But even besides that we are told in the book Dracula that Jonothan and Mina had a happy life together. They name their son  because of the only person of the party to die when attacked by a gypsy.
 * Yes that's what happened in the novel, but some people speculated that the version referenced in Hellsing involves an AU of Dracula, where Jonathan Harker doesn't exist or some other changes.
 * True enough. Harker was the one who defeated Dracula in the novels and fought for Mina's soul in a way. While in Hellsing, Abraham van Helsing is the one who did that (if we believe the Major).

Father Renaldo's first name is Marco and he was once a huge badass.
You can't prove it isn't true!

Lt. Rip Van Winkle is a Sweet Polly Oliver.
While I seem to recall her being referred to by female versions of military titles at least once, she is extremely androgynous and isn't exactly in the Nazi-preferred female role. While the higher-ups know her gender, no one else does.
 * Female versions of the military title? They are gender neutral in Japanese. Hirano never intended her (or Integra for that matter) to be androgynous. She was mean to be the closest to a Moeblob Hellsing can have.

Carmen Sandiego was behind everything.
Alucard finagled that hat from Carmen Sandiego long ago and, because of her pride as a thief, she constructed a very very long plan that resulted somehow in the creation of Millennium- or at least moving them to Brazil- all to get her hat back. So, when the orgy of violence began in Rio, Carmen retrieved her hat and let Millennium run wild for the rest of the time. And that is why Alucard's hat is never seen again after that part of the story.
 * Except that Carmen, being the Gentlewoman Thief she is, goes out of her way to make sure none of her capers actually hurt anyone, much less result in a brutal slaughter.
 * Have you ever seen Carmen Sandiego raging at the theft of her precious fedora?

Girlycard can get pregnant in spite of being a Vampire
After the events of Hellsing: The Dawn, "she" had a roll in the hay with Walter, never telling him about their child together. This is where Sebastian comes from. Much later in the future, Girlycard will have a whirlwind romance with Vash the Stampede, which will lead to the birth of Abel Nightroad.
 * AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
 * I love you.
 * Haha, Sebastian really looks like a mixture between Alucard, uhh, Girlycard actually, heh, and young Walter. On this subject, I bet Girlycard and Young Walter had something going on, or at least Walter had a crush on Girlycard. Girlycard(Alucard) was just messing around anyway so I don't think he(she?) was giving importance to his(her?) girl form.
 * Wait wait wait. Whirlwind romance?

Enrico Maxwell is really a Badass.
Well, he was raised by Anderson in the same orphanage as Heinkell and Yumie! He probably just decided that once he became the leader of Iscariot that being a badass was lame when he had POWER instead. That... And why the hell not?!
 * Everyone else in Iscariot is a badass

Integra is pregnant with Alucard's child

 * She is always pissed at Alucard and she won't let him change her into a vampire.
 * Well, there are a lot of reasons to be pissed with Alucard and NOT want to become a blood sucking creature of the night, so this is very little (and quite random) basis for a theory. But that's why this is "wild mass guessing" and not "Completely backed up by canon" Although, the idea of Integra being knocked up with Alucard's spawn sounds epic to me. -cough- Not like I ship them or anything... -cough-
 * The Anime strongly implied she became a vampire in the end (Gonzo even stated she liked Alucard romantically and his interest was always obvious). There were no sequel plans. It's more ambiguous in the manga, admittedly, she could have been joking when she offered him to suck her blood (the same offer Alucard made her in the TV series). Nevertheless, Hirano spent the last chapter shoving Integra into the idea of vampirism and Alucard. And she sort of became the old cat lady version with vampires... Conveniently, he edited and added a new definition of what Integra considered a "monster" in the last volume. The last chapter alone read like a shipper fic from the Pit of Voles. Not even a great one.
 * THIS. Integra would kill him. Screw his badassness-immortality, she'd find a way to kill him for doing that to her.
 * No, she wouldn't. She was basically moping sourly without him for thirty years. Fanon Integra doesn't exist as much the fandom wishes to believe. The only reason she shot him was because she didn't know it was him until Seras turned on the lights and because she's a classical type 1 Tsundere. Every single, insipid shipper fic had the same Gothic romantic/humor scene Hirano wrote.

Hellsing Seal does not actually work.
Alucard is in no way forced to obey members of Hellsing family and does so only for shit and giggles. He probably has some respect due to fact Hellsing family descends from man, that at the least managed to pose challenge to him, but he's not compelled to serve them, but it's still fun. Besides he seems to enjoy playing Integra as evidenced by Hotel scene.
 * Well, it does give him a cover and a justification for his bloodlust.
 * There is no Hellsing Seal. Hirano debunked that. Alucard is bound by his undying devotion. In case people have issues with reading comprehension when he says so, he can't forgive traitors. He hated Richard Hellsing. He hated Walter. He has disobeyed Integra's orders, but he would never betray her.

In the future the universe will only be bayonets.
The explanation for Anderson producing all those bayonets is that he is fourth dimensional but the fourth dimension usually refers to time. So what he does is reach forward in time to the point where bayonets are everywhere and bring them back to our time.
 * I doubt when Hirano said that, he was keeping that phsyics principle in mind. Seriously, there are so many Did Not Do the Research topics in Hellsing they could fill a book.

Someone introduced the Major to Warhammer at an early age.
And he played as Khorne. Obviously. With a slash of Tzeentch.

Alucard lies to Walter in the end.
Specifically, the "I didn't look down on you, you did youself" part is utter nonsense.
 * Not really. Alucard and Walter seemed to have a really good relationship.
 * Except for the part where Walter was ...?
 * Debatable. He certainly harbored a grudge against Alucard, though I don't think he'd just for some revenge.

Alucard will get even worse.
As of the end of the series, Alucard literally can't be killed, period. Now, we know that Arthur theorized that vampires actively seek death. Combine Alucard's current condition with this, and we've got some decent Fridge Horror.
 * I think he'd be less miserable without all those souls and their screams filling his mind. Besides, Death Seeker is only one interpretation for his actions. It's just as likely that Alucard just needs to get into that much danger to feel alive again.

The Major is Schrodinger's Father
Think about it. Why else would he specifically have the child groomed to kill Alucard? He said he wanted to be the one to do it, so why not create a son, then have Dok build him into a weapon capable of doing it? He could have easily impregnated a woman, became a robot, but kept the mother intact to give birth to his most effective superweapon. Plus, notice the way he treats Schrodinger: Almost in a paternal way...

Alucard is Lucy's Father
Chii is the mother(and yes I know she's a robot)

Hirano based Hellsing off of Bram Stokers Dracula, not the original novel.
Alucard's appearance is based on GARY FREAKIN' OLDMAN. This film also explicitly connects Dracula to Vlad Tepes, which the original novel did not. In his backstory as Vlad, crossing the Despair Event Horizon caused him to renounce God and become a vampire. In this version Dracula also has genuine love for Mina (hinted at in Alucard's flashback), which she reciprocates. This probably would have caused much tension between Harker and Mina, leading to the "Harker divorced Mina" theories. And with the whole Love Redeems tone of the film's ending, Alucard becoming a servant of the Hellsing family (perhaps by Mina's request?) is more plausible.
 * He based it on both, actually.

In Hellsing's setting, the Pontifical Swiss Guard never existed
Or was perhaps abolished centuries ago. With no heavily-armed Swiss guys in awesome retro-renaissance uniforms to protect the Vatican, the Roman Catholic Church had to form the fanatical Iscariot organization and maintain the knightly orders we see.
 * Alternately, the Swiss Guard DOES exist... in an entirely ceremonial role. The guys in the rad uniforms serve as a front, throwing off the public while Iscariot and the military orders do the REAL protection work.
 * Wrong. The Swiss Guard does exist and is obviously capable of fighting, as mentioned here. I am pretty sure the "Swiss Mercenaries" are the Swiss Guard and the translator messed up.

Alucard is Ozzy Osbourne.
He's the prince of darkness. He likes wearing a Badass Longcoat. He wears the same glasses. And he likes biting heads off.

Anderson's regenerative powers were developed from Banmaden technology
The Banmaden (the true name of the demons in Chrono Crusade) had technology beyond anything developed by humans. Some of that was used to keep Remington physically 27 for about 50 years. Among the known powers of powerful demons was to rapidly regenerate from anything that wasn't instantly fatal. After the Banmaden became functionally extinct with the destruction of Pandaemonium in 1924, the Church, which held possession of the battlefield after the fighting was over, seized all of the archeotech it could find and spent the next few decades reverse engineering it, resulting in the creation of the regenerators.

Girlycard is Alucard's original form.
Come on, you really think that with those good looks would've been able to stay a virgin?
 * Alucard wasn't turned into a vampire by a bite though, he refused to die and rose as a vampire. I doubt the standard rules would apply to a nonstandard reanimation.

The Major is, in fact a deep cover KGB agent.
It would explain why he killed those high-ranking officers and Millenium remained hidden during Cold War, as Major was waiting a war between NATO and Soviets, so that he could join the Soviet attack, or just destroy couple allied countries with his army of artificial nazi vampires. But then, Soviets and communism collapsed. Maybe he decided to attack London because it was the safest way to self-destroy Millenium...

Seras was a virgin at the beginning because she's seriously messed up about sex.
It would be pretty much impossible for her to not be messed up from not only seeing her parents murdered in front of her, but adding to that her mother being necro-raped and then being stabbed in the gut (something that is slightly symbolically related to rape). This may have prevented her from wanting to have sex, if she even was able to date after that.

Gonzo series only: Helena is really Claudia from the Vampire Chronicles.
An alternate universe version of course, where she didn't die as she was supposed too because Iscariot got first to the Theatre of des Vampires. So Louis and her never got to meet them, also Louis got killed by Hellsing at some point and that is why she is even more jaded and uncaring in this version.

Dracula and Draculina are titles
When Alucard is chewing Seras out for not wanting to kill normal humans, he refers to her as "draculina"

Integra has Romani origins, and so does Alucard's curse.
Some fans have speculated that Integra has some non-Caucasian heritage, due to her tan. The only non "white" characters featured prominently in the "Dracula" story are Gypsies/Romani people. Van Helsing could have fallen in love with a Gypsy woman while fighting Dracula (just like in the movie!), married her, and produced the Hellsing line.

If this is the case, the Gypsies may also have assisted Van Helsing in the magic used to enslave Alucard. Many adaptations of "Dracula" feature Gypsies as being more informed about vampires than everyone else, and their culture has long been associated with magic. Of course real Romani people don't possess such stereotypical magic; but remember that "Hellsing" takes place in a world where the Vatican is run by psycho crusaders, and the French guy is a pervert. There is no reason to think Gypsies wouldn't also fit some Hollywood stereotype in the "Hellsing" universe.

The reason that only virgins in the Hellsingverse can become vampires is because Vlad Tepes did not treat unchaste women very well.
Since Alucard was the first vampire, perhaps Vlad's own beliefs and ideals somehow translated into the 'rules' of vampirism. So, deflowered/unchaste women and men who were bitten would turn into ugly, mindless ghouls under control of the perpetrator. It would also explain why those of the same sex as the vampire suffer the same fate.

Alucard's female form is based off of Mina Harker
I don't know, this just makes sense to me.

Alucard is an Offscouring
In Drifters, notable figures like Jeanne de Arc have gained supernatural powers, possibly as a result of their forsaking God at the time of their deaths. Alucard himself when he was Vlad III the Impaler had a similar moment in the Hellsing before he died and became a Vampire.

He was brought by Easy to the Drifter world where he gained vampiric powers, but was either removed after the war, or he was just uncontrollable, and deposited back on Earth.

Alucard is Saya and Diva's daddy, because he's A-okay with sleeping with weird bat monsters
Or just Saya's daddy. Or maybe Saya's daddy...

Alucard is Wrong Genre Savvy
he believes he's the bad guy (not that he's lacking proof of it). He can't understand that despite his ruthlessness, cruelty, and professional trolling, he IS the protagnist. Which is why he's all the more crushed  It made him face reality: He IS the hero of the story... For better or worse.