The Nostalgia Chick/Funny

Pocahontas
"Chick: "Also, Pocahontas was twelve.""
 * Her so-very-superior first line ever: "I, like most of the world, am an American." Almost an Establishing Character Moment when you think about the character's now long-standing Small Name, Big Ego.
 * "And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? PUPPIES!"
 * "Did you ever wonder what constitutes a 'blue corn moon'?" *picture of a moon with a corn-on-the-cob on top of it*
 * "Would you like to just outright deny centuries of repression and genocide?" *picture of native Americans being forced out with an imposed smiley face like a sun* "Then have we got a movie for you!"
 * Her grinning-yet-snarky "sure" after she says that the people who worked on this were expecting it to be as popular as Beauty and The Beast.
 * Pointing out the irony of anti-Semite Mel Gibson being in a movie about tolerance.
 * "John Smith, or as his crew mates call him 'Captain Amazing', is a man so potent he has to get on to the boat while riding a giant phallic symbol."
 * "Man, that John Smith is awesome. It's like the historical John Smith wrote the screenplay."
 * The Breathless Non-Sequitur:

"Chick: I don't know Russell Meins, maybe she's standing atop her favorite five hundred foot cliff, while florescent leaves swirl all around her boooooody."
 * Responding to the chief's question of where Poca is:

"Chick: Her design was based off the looks of models like Naomi Campbell, Christie Turlington, Barbie... and Janice from The Muppets."
 * Her reaction to the first appearance of Pocahontas. "Dayum!"
 * "Pocahontas, who seems to be an expert at posing dramatically, doesn't seem to have any real ethnicity of which to speak. She doesn't look particularly Native American. Mostly, she just looks like a kind of aethnic mush of unparalleled hotness."
 * The Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick line, complete with Aside Glance at the end:

"Best Friend: Oh, he is so handsome.

Chick: "Mmm-hmm, girlfriend!""

""Holy shit, Disney! You've inserted your giant magical cock into my ear and FUCKED MY MIND!""
 * "If you're wondering where her mother is, remember that this is a Disney movie, and Disney Movies usually have... PUPPIES!" *picture of puppies with the words 'PLEASE DON'T SUE ME, DISNEY'*
 * Screaming in fright when the "matronly willow tree" talks.
 * "Nothing says villainy quite like little pink bows on your pigtails!"
 * "Ratcliffe's here to teach that all of our problems come from one guy being a greedy douchebag."
 * Her reaction to the most blatant lyrics in the "Savages" song: "They are not like you and me/ which means they must be evil!"


 * Her falling over (and off the screen) in boredom when Pocahontas and John have their stare-off. "Ow."
 * Her mocking of Wiggins. "Cheerio and all that wot!"
 * "Clearly, these strangers stage elaborate musical numbers and do what white people do best: Blow. Shit. Up."
 * The "WTF" reaction shot when the language barrier gets sorted out. "I'd like to thank the raccoon for channeling the audience's reaction."
 * "...why is genocided not a verb?"
 * The entire "running to save your honey/execute the boyfriend/kill the savages" scene, where she directs everyone so they can make it more epic.
 * The manic grinning she does for most of the review. Ask That Guy With the Glasses would be proud.

Teen Witch

 * "Here's a couple of things nobody ever wanted to think about again. The eighties, and your teenage years!"
 * Doing a Beautiful All Along moment set to "Like A Virgin" and then subverting it by making herself look like an 80's entertainer. Followed by an exaggeratedly scary Moe Stare/Slasher Smile.
 * The stick figure teenage girl losing her "I've got boobs!" smile as she gains all the problems listed below.
 * This formula: "we start with an uncontrollable bag of hormones, add some daddy issues, some extreme self-centered short-sightedness, obsession with social status and you have a teenage girl." Even funnier now that we've seen teenage!Chick.
 * "Now divide this by the eighties and you get a much more horrifying picture." And we do.
 * "No, no, no, the other Darrin. Quality."
 * Her Valley Girl-esque "eww" at all the fur in Teen Wolf.
 * "Our protagonist is like, awwwkward, and we're like totally supposed to relate to that."
 * The first instance of the Running Gag with her tracing a tear down her cheek at Wangst in a movie.
 * "Hate to tell you, screenwriters, but that's not relatable, that's creepy."
 * "...did anyone see the three white guys rapping in the hallway?"
 * Her puppy popping her nose up intermittently.
 * "Stop, movie! You're trying way too hard!"
 * "[80s movies] weren't so much about plot as much as "finding yourself" or... something. Oh, and having a boyfriend."
 * "OH MY GOD HE'S GOT GLASSES!"
 * "What are you doing?! This movie is whiter than Pride and Prejudice!"
 * And later: "If this movie were any whiter, it'd be transparent!"
 * "Condom! Condom! Condom!"
 * Her expression upon seeing the... cheer.
 * "Oh, Christ."
 * "Movie, seriously! What's going on?"
 * "You've starting singing and you're dancing off without me!"

Anastasia
"Hello, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and my glasses have been taken by Communists. *Hammer and sickle pops up with scary music* "But it's okay 'cos I got new ones.""
 * The beginning:

"My glasses were actually stolen by a drug dealer named Kiki."
 * The Brick Joke on the credit screen:

"Chick: "Now when we think of countries with political histories that make your brain hurt, what is the first one that comes to mind? ...aside from mine.""
 * This Take That:

"Grandmother: But a dark force descended over the house of the Romanovs.
 * "Russia! Now with 50% less communism."
 * Calling Anastasia's name Russian for "walking over logs".
 * This:

Chick: Communism?

Grandmother: His name was Rasputin.

Chick: ...Rasputin, of course! So he's responsible for the communism!"

"Chick: Ooooh. Jesus, how many of those things do you guys have?
 * "Yaaaay, Russia was awesome! For the obscenely wealthy!"
 * Talking about the first World War and putting a sad face on "all by its lonesome" Russia in a map.
 * All the calls from historical figures complaining about the movie, but especially the first one, when Lenin calls her up to tell her that he led the October Revolution, and the Romanovs were overthrown in the February Revolution.

Lenin: Well, is Russia. Usually have them on Tuesdays, right before bingo and shuffleboard."

"Heheh. Get it, banana."
 * Confusing Lenin with Lennon.
 * The Chick's confused Aside Glance when Rasputin (played so obviously by a certain Mr. Walker) tells her he just wanted a Russia filled with flowers and sunshine.
 * The pictures accompanying her description of the historical Rasputin's trope-namingly ridiculous death.
 * *sniff* "Michael Bay would be proud."
 * After Sigmund Freud slips on a Banana Peel:


 * "Do the right thing, karma will get you laid!"
 * "In Soviet Russia, Chick remembers you!"

He-Man And She-Ra
"Chick: And besides, who's going to be interested in a female character who is pretty shamelessly a knock-off of her already popular male counterpart? Heh..." *sulk*"
 * "Here's a useful bit of advice. If you succeed with one demographic, try, try, try again with the other."
 * Calling He-Man so ripped he really shouldn't be able to move.
 * This lovely bit of Hypocritical Humor:

"He-Man: A work of art like my famous spice bread takes time, Cringer.
 * And if you want to be sappy, looking back at it now, this is a Crowning Moment of Awesome for Lindsay. The Nostalgia Chick is one of the most interesting, flawed female characters around, is just as complicated as the Critic and they both complement each other in all sorts of ways. A nice feat for an internet reviewer who joked near the beginning of her career that she was just a knock-off.
 * "Yes, this film got a theatrical release."
 * "She lives on the planet Etheria, not to be confused with Eternia. Fights the evil Hordak, not to be confused with Skeletor."
 * The cringing at the "Ambiguously Gay Duo" and condescendingly saying she's more progressive than that, leading to...
 * Wondering how gay He-Man can be, with this sequence popping up.

* A caption reading One minute into the movie. appears.*

Nostalgia Chick: *mouth wide open*......."

"Nostalgia Chick: ...well, anyway, he's a part of the Great Rebellion...
 * And just when she's recovered from this, she meets Bow. She's immediately rendered speechless by his cape removal, the heart-shaped emblem on his chest, the pink owl koala with the rainbow ears...

Bow: *poses, arms wide* The Great Rebellion. *two notes play*

Nostalgia Chick: ...and he takes him back to meet the RebeJesus Christ!


 * Bow and Adam are riding the same horse, touching, Adam's hands on Bow's hips*

Nostalgia Chick: Why don't you hold his hips just a little more tenderly!? I mean- *puts hand over mouth*"

"Chick: God! This movie has more fake-outs than Return of the King!"
 * "Fuck it, WE'RE OFF TO THE PRIDE PARADE!"
 * All of her Not So Above It All moments in that review. Poor thing tried so hard but it was great fun to see her fail miserably.
 * Trying to dance along to the theme song while perkily pointing out all the shitty rhymes.
 * "We only had five minutes to knock out this screenplay, sorry!"
 * "Mark, John and Steve: the evil minions."
 * Her frozen, barely-suppressing-her-rage smile at the fact that She Ra can now heal animals.
 * All of her hammily epic mocking of the show's catchphrase:
 * "By the honor of plot holes, I have the plot device!"
 * "By the honor of pep talks!"
 * Her angry scream at yet another fake-out.

Hocus Pocus
"Chick: Greetings, internet denizens. It is I, your Nostalgia Chick, and what is the most sinister, the most pervasive, the most terrifying threat to America this Halloween? Virgins.
 * The beginning. She's all gothed up, creepy music's playing and it turns out that the movie she's reviewing is... a Disney film that has a virgin obsession.

Chick: As in... post pubescent people who have not had sex yet. *nod*"

"Chick [about "child-friendly witches"]: And by that, I mean this movie was made for children. I think.
 * The Dramatic Thunder whenever she says "virgin". Towards the end, she's obviously just during it for funsies.
 * "What are you doing if you're still in high school and still a virgin?"
 * All the shock about this movie being made for kids:

Chick: First plot point? Death of a child!

Chick [when the bus runs over the cat]: This is a kids' movie, right?"

"Chick: I think Thackary thas a thit. Doesn't help that he lives in such a theolous town. *winces* Sorry."
 * All the incredibly lame puns about Thackary's name.

"Max: [hugging his pillow] Oh, Allison.
 * Thanks for helping me see the connection between zealous and theology!
 * "Cos California has hippies and hippies just love tye-dye!"
 * "Californiaism is a pretty good reason to make fun of people."
 * Noticing that the "bullies" look far more stereotypically hippie than the main character.
 * "...actually I'm from Virginia."
 * This bit:

Chick: Christ, no wonder he's a virgin."

"Chick: Beastly child proceeds to run her beastly mouth.
 * Her constant calling the little sister a "beastly child".

Chick: [after the 'Yabbos' talk] I would say wrong decade, beastly child, but more like wrong century. Maybe even wrong language."

"Max: Hey, he talks.
 * "Fuckin' virgins man, why do we even have them?"
 * Making fun of Sarah Jessica Parker's Typecasting and constant Informed Attractiveness.
 * "Please don't refer to the child as an hors d’oeuvre, I'm pretty sure that's illegal in most states."
 * Making fun of the crew's nonchalance of the cat talking.

Chick: *shrugs* Sure Why Not?"

"Chick: No! 'Scuse me, I still need about a year to recover from the massive trauma of seeing my cat die again. *cries*"
 * "Well, Sarah Jessica Parker, maybe you could help him with that whole virgin problem."
 * The funniest shocked face ever is the one she makes after the line, "WHOAA...SPEED bump!".


 * Her Squee over "Dougie! Doug Jones. Player of all things that require at least four hours of make-up."
 * "Virgins!" *shaking her fist at the sky*
 * "Well, this Halloween if you're still a virgin, stop it!"

Top Eleven Villainesses
"Chick: Eh, you get the idea."
 * The Applied Mathematics "women = evil" at the beginning.

"Chick: Why top 11?
 * Her subversion of the Critic's catch-phrase:

Guy from Spinal Tap: ...these go to eleven."

"Chick: Not that there's anything wrong with that?
 * Calling Mirage the only sexy Aladdin villain "unless you're weird and want to count Jafar".
 * The Take That to furries:


 * she gives a Death Glare as a red caption pops up saying "YES THERE IS"*"

"Chick: She's here to make us hurt, ain't she?
 * "Why the hell does she have a cat head? Who cares?"
 * The caption for Mirage's motivation: JUST KIND OF EVIL.
 * Her hammy impersonation of Rita Repulsa. Considering how camp Rita is, it's quite a feat to chew more scenery than her.

Chick!Repulsa: I shall send my useless villains to defeat the worthless Power Rangers!

Chick!Repulsa: Curses! I shall now take a small thing and make it large!"

"Chick: Not to mention that amazing hat. I want it!
 * Describing Angelica in a Shaped Like Itself way: "She's little more than a Spoiled Brat who channels all her Spoiled Brat energy into being an annoying antagonist."
 * Her obvious girl!crush on Carmen Sandiego.

Chick: Why is the world's greatest thief so hot? And is she even wearing anything under that coat?"

"Chick: Wherever she is, it must be in the land of epic."
 * Fangasming over "Where In The World Is CarmenSandiego?".


 * The dogs from One Hundred and One Dalmatians having to stare at her sadly for a while before she gives in and does her usual "PUPPIES!".
 * "I hate this movie. I really do. I sold my soul for a vagina and a man I don't know!"
 * "It's not like there's pictures of me dressed as [this villain] floating around the internet or anything [pained expression]." [Cut to Chick in Halloween costume]
 * On the Wicked Witch of the West: "She's pretty simple. Pretty...archetypal. ...."

Spice World
"Chick: "Look, girly things! God, if it got any more girly they'd start a pillow fight."
 * The big, open-mouthed smile she has on when she says "It's gross oversimplification time."
 * Acting mock-alluring after the movie credits roll while a caption says "Cheapest font... ever?"
 * Saying that the movie was made with about half the ambition of A Hard Days Night, a quarter of the budget and at least two percent of the talent.
 * "Does it have a plot? No! But amazingly it does manage at least four subplots, each one more painfully useless than the last."
 * "Isn't it amazing that whenever Alan Cummings is in a movie you immediately find yourself saying 'No you don't understand, it's horrible!'"
 * After a particularly vapid scene, she rocks back and forth with a Slasher Smile: "...we're only six minutes into the movie."
 * This bit of Tempting Fate:


 * Spice Girls have a pillow fight*

Chick: "You know I wasn't serious.""

"Scary Spice: Girl power, feminism. Know what I mean?
 * Saying that the Spice Girls just basically take up space for ninety minutes.
 * Her childish glee at Scary Spice saying "bay-beh".
 * "We could pad the movie for at least a whole minute!"
 * Hoping that the Deja-Vu bit is just a DVD skip.
 * The Simpleton Voice she has with this:

Chick: Nah. Do you?"


 * Her hatred of Posh Spice: "Stop it! You're bringing down the property value of vaginas everywhere!"
 * "I think this is meant to be funny. I'm not sure, they are British."
 * Her dramatic, fangirly lip syncing to Meat Loaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love".
 * "Was that Bob Hoskins?"
 * The Random Shit-O-Lever, used whenever the movie throws in an arbitrary gag ("Aliens," "Sexy Secret Agents," etc.)

Top Ten Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs
"Chick: Ew."
 * The stealth Take That to the much-loathed Jim Carrey "Grinch" movie, sneaking a few second clip of it in when she's discussing how Nostalgia Goggles get even worse during Christmas.
 * Lampshading the inevitable We All Live in America-style of the list.
 * "Why top ten? 'Cos you guys need to watch Spinal Tap."
 * New York only exists of two types: yuppies and hipsters.
 * Recoiling in disgust at the "possible ugliest man alive" lead singer of the Pogues as he is today. And with the clip, as she said, he really does look like he's been feasting on a diet of fried brains.
 * Calling him (back when he could sing) the "talented Irish version of Ozzy Ozbourne".
 * After all the insults: "Ah, no wonder New Yorkers love this song." And feeling all homesick and nostalgic at the end of the segment: "I'll miss you New York."
 * Realizing she's dancing to the "hideously unfunny" Banes Of Christmas. "Why am I doing this?"
 * "You gotta put out? Well, bitch, where's my yacht?"
 * Getting a bad mental image of Eartha Kitt putting out for Santa.

"Chick: [wincing] Ohh, she did."
 * Her reaction to Madonna's baby-voice singing cover.

"Chick: Santa Baby, I need a hundred and sixty grand. Grad school's kinda expensive. Santa Baby, [in an ashamed tone of voice] I actually think fat guys are kinda hot."
 * "Hmm. Putting out for Santa seems... lucrative." And her (baby-singing just as hard) version of the song:

"Live Aid: There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear...
 * The abused wife version of Nella getting beaten up while Chick dances along happily to the song. Crosses the Line Twice comedy at its finest.
 * And how the Chick goes from nervous laughing as the song builds, to shamelessly singing along with the chorus.
 * Southerners find nothing more hilarious than alcoholism paired with Domestic Abuse.
 * Brian (the sexual predator) doing the "Dick In A Box" dance while the Chick looks on unimpressed.
 * Her snarking on "Do They Know It's Christmas?":

Chick: Mordor?"


 * "I want to go home!"
 * The slowed-down Chipmunks song, set to misshapen creatures, Metropolis and nuclear testing. Funny and awesome.
 * The fangirling over Justin Timberlake, especially her mouthing "I love you..."
 * Her snapping out of it. "Moving on!"
 * Driving herself and Elisa crazy with "The Christmas Shoes".

Labyrinth
"Chick: And I dare you to go into any circle of respectable nerds and say the words "you remind of me the babe" without...
 * PACKAGE!
 * Anything she says regarding the Area, really.
 * For me, the most unexpectedly funny part of that review was the word "gag" running across the screen to the tune of "Spanish Flea".
 * "Hey, Lindsay, want some dick?"
 * "...having him wave his balls in your face. [Pause] Get used to it, kids. There's going to be a lot of that in this review."
 * "I think everyone remembers their first boner... Bowie!" Followed by guilty as hell shifty eyes.
 * "But young female viewers of the Cult Classic Labyrinth got more than affirmation, they got David Bowie."

Nella: What babe?

Chick: The babe with the power.

Nella: What power?"

"Sarah: I hate yooooou!
 * The affectionate Take That to larpers. "She's the loneliest larper in town, and that's saying something for one's social skills... or acting skills for that matter."
 * After the YouTube clip of a rather low-key session, clapping with a freaked out look on her face.
 * This:

Chick: Well I hate yooooour acting!""


 * Her fangasming reaction to the first appearance of David Bowie:
 * "That hair!"
 * "Ground control to Major Tom!"
 * "Now I believe in modern love."
 * "...Ziggy played guitar?"
 * The blooper at the end where the banana breaks in half.

Thumbelina
"Chick: [with Kubrick Stare] Oh. Mermaid."
 * "Oh! Is it Don Bluth time again already?"
 * Having to take a few seconds to admit that Don Bluth's early stuff was... good.
 * The return of treating The Little Mermaid like it's her Arch Enemy, complete with Scare Chord.

"Chick: Alright Disney, you win. With your princesses and your musicals and your coming of age stories with sweeping, snarky romances, you win."
 * Her impersonation of Don Bluth throwing in the towel.

"Chick: C'mon, is that really the best you could-
 * "There's a teeny, tiny, twee, little blip on his radar a few years before with much more unfortunate results."
 * Calling Thumbelina a "saucy little whore".
 * Her encounter with Barry Manilow.


 * he starts singing and she drifts off into space*"

"Chick: "...you're gonna be in the whole movie aren't you?""
 * Her theory that this movie took place in the plague years as Paris is completely deserted.
 * The This Is Gonna Suck reaction to the annoying bird:

"Jaquimo: Samson loved Delilah...
 * The Alternate Character Interpretation of the bird being an asexual co-dependent who thrives on the relationships of others and the mother being neglectful on purpose because she's pissed she got the short end of the stick.
 * Her mocking his analogies of love overcoming the impossible:

Nostalgia Chick: That ended... kinda bad.

Jaquimo: Romeo, et Juliet... oh, impossible!

Nostalgia Chick: Al-so somewhat unfortunate..."

"Chick: That could have made for an awkward dinner party: [miming spooning out a piece of pie] "So, Beverly, any luck findin- AAGH!!""
 * "I hate you enough to name you Thumbelina."
 * While fooling around, Thumbelina ends up in a pie, then climbs out again.

"Chick: I mean, really, frogs should not be in heels!"
 * "I have this weird sense of deja-Disney..."
 * "Get on the fucking bird."
 * "Let's see, you have a bird, some bugs and A FUCKING BIRD! You have TWENTY BIRDS! DOING THE CAN-CAN!"
 * "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."
 * "I'd like to know which executive head keeps proclaiming from on high... "Needs more Gilbert Gotfried."
 * Screaming and recoiling in terror at the sight of the frog-thing with tits and heels.


 * "Disney's paranoid ass has my blessing to sue for this one."
 * In the credits: "Yes, I know I look like a bag of smashed ass. Blame the lighting."

The Babysitters Club
"Chick: To Wikipedia!
 * Her reaction to the "Daddy's Girl" song is both hilarious and frightening. Daddy's girl.. *finger to the edge of lip in a seductive pose*
 * The vast amounts of children scaring the hell out of her.
 * The Psycho Strings that play when she first mentions that C word.
 * The way she says the word "vagina", like it's something weird and terrifying.
 * Her theory that Mary-Anne has Catholic repression.
 * Calling Claudia a "functional retard". It shouldn't be funny, but it is.
 * Calling Dawn a "dirty, vegetarian hippie" and asserting that everyone from California lives on a steady diet of granola and white guilt.
 * Her shallow "ew" when the actors from the TV show show off their "less than fabulous hair".
 * "Oh, and hi Zach Braff."
 * Her goofy dancing to the theme song.
 * Figuring out how to say Sissy Spacek's daughter's name:

Chick and children: Yaaay!"

"Christie: I mean, you know anyone who could take a fork and a hammer and turn into that?
 * "But subplots? Oh, we got them in droves!"
 * This bit:

Chick: Most special needs kids?"

"Girl: We have a tragedy here!
 * Her version of the Critic's "I'm acting!" Running Gag:

Chick: [in Dull Surprise mode] I flunked acting!"

"Lady: Do you know what fuzzy insects and small children have in common?
 * "Did we mention Stacey's from New York?"
 * Playing the dramatic Sting when she says Stacey has diabetes.
 * "...is there a jazz choir in the stable?" "There they are again, seriously."
 * Noting that the Longing Look between Christie and Claudia goes on for just a bit too long.
 * Bonding with the Child-Hater lady:

Chick [excited] They suck your blood?"

Top 11 Embarrassing Nostalgic Dance Crazes
"Chick: NEEEELLA!
 * "Seems that our generation was made to do some pretty stupid shit in our time. [...] Yes, dances, they made us do them at weddings, at summer camp, at day camp, at school, at funerals, space camp... whatever."
 * Whining that she doesn't want to get up and dance, or at least on her own:

Nella: ...you bellowed?

Chick: We have a mission, beleagured friend! We're gonna go dance!

Nella: [with a look of disgust] Why?"

"Chick: Come, BFF Nella, we're going into public!
 * Chick roping Nella into it by telling it's her revenge for Nella suggesting the awkward date with the Critic.

Nella: Public?

Chick: Public!"

"Nella: For this? I was born ready!"
 * Nella's terror at going outside, along with the Chick's manic grins.
 * Chick dragging Nella everywhere.
 * The caption: "one wardrobe change later" and "another wardrobe change later".
 * "Dance, monkey!"
 * Nella's "Is this really what it's all about?"
 * Nella's very valid point of why dance about food when you can just eat it.
 * "Don't judge me!"
 * Nostalgia Chick and Nella. Doing the Chicken Dance. In front of NYC's Scientology building.


 * All the shots of the general public, looking in their direction like they're freaks.

Xanadu
"Chick: Come on, how could this not be the greatest thing ever?"
 * The Hope Spot of the opening credits, where she gets all excited and thinks it'll be an awesome sci-fi movie.

"Chick: For the love of God! Cut half of this shit out, come on."
 * The Nostalgia Chick shooing away the Big Lipped Alligator Moment sign. IT WILL NOT LEAVE YOU.
 * Calling the movie the "death throes of all things roller-skate".
 * Getting pissed off at all the exposition.


 * Elisa jumping into frame when the Chick is taking a picture of the "George Washington Bridge... thingy."
 * "Dear God... grown men should not wear roller-skates. Did someone tell him he looks like that?"
 * *while shaking her fist at the heavens* "Corporate America! Killing art."
 * "But don't worry, they drop that thread like a bag of roller-skates."
 * Her increasing disappointment at the lack of aliens in the movie.
 * "Oh dear God, the shorts."
 * Mocking the directing of a scene: "It's my dream that you would stay in one place to deliver your lines."
 * Her impersonation of Zeus, who sounds less bored and more like he's very very drunk.
 * Her comparing the lead actor to the Troll II guy.
 * She calls him "Acty McActorson" at one point.

Transformers
"Chick: Let me posit this idea. Robots = awesome. Aliens = awesome. Cars... pretty awesome, if a little planet-destroying. Put them all together and what do you get? Hell yeah!"
 * Calling the concept "evil genius" like.


 * "And who do we have to thank for that?"
 * Cutting to Ronald Reagan while playing the Imperial March.
 * "No, I'm actually not kidding."
 * "Look! Characters with bits to identify...ish."
 * The affectionate Take That to Transformers fanboys, calling them manchildren.
 * And then Critic comes in.
 * The Psychotic Smirk she has on when she's got Critic in the corner about his reviewing Red Sonja, especially when she'd been suspiciously little-girl-like when he was bitching at her.
 * Being extra perky when she gets back to the review.
 * "They just play around in the open, like 'Goddamn it's good to be a robot car'."
 * Calling Megatron an evil motherfucker because he has a silly helmet.
 * Insulting the Dinobots by saying they're distinguishable only because they're abject retards.
 * Her disgusted "not making that up" when giving the Tastes Like Diabetes names of My Little Pony characters.
 * The goofy dancing to the so-very-80s songs in the movie, even after she's horrified by the family unfriendly deaths.
 * The counter for all the traumatizing deaths.
 * Her scream at the death of... well... Starscream.
 * "Michael Bay" being a smug, egotistical, slimy bastard.
 * The fact that he has only three DVDs on his shelf and they're all his.
 * The way she's obviously enjoying chloroforming The Nostalgia Critic at the end of the review. And how quickly she got from LA to Chicago just to do it.
 * The Stinger. Critic's unconscious, Chick is stroking his neck and giggling, the "Armageddon" music is playing triumphantly... and "Michael Bay" is totally oblivious.
 * Her describing Rodimus Prime's new car form as a 'gay-pride hummer'.

Armageddon, part one
"Chick: Haha, they don't make racism like that anymore. Oh wait they totally do! *cuts to the twins in Transformers*"
 * Her explanation for the three month Schedule Slip: Transformers 2 being so terrible it sent her into a bad movie coma.
 * The reaction to what month it is (September 2009): A perfectly timed "shit!".
 * All the jump cuts mocking Michael Bay's way of directing.
 * "Did the credits just explode? Did I dream that?"
 * "The movie begins, not with a cloud of dust, but with fire. Fucking fire! I didn't know the Earth was made out of napalm!"
 * Eating a packet of grains while laughing at the so-very-racist crap on the screen.


 * The Ho Yay-tastic parody of the animal cracker scene, complete with out of nowhere Firefly reference.
 * Michael Bay's balls making her head explode. This is made even funnier by Kickassia, because apparently this didn't kill her.

Armageddon, part two

 * The "Previously On...", narrated by Linkara and the "one episode ago" being striked out for "two episodes ago".
 * Critic waking up (after three months of being unconscious?) "somewhere in a suburb of Chicago" and finding a chloroformed rag beside him. What's even funnier (and intriguingly carrying on the Ship Tease) that he figures out immediately who did it.
 * Chick waking up from the aforementioned head exploding and needing her happy pills to continue. She instantly goes from tired and woozy to happy and perky.
 * The Double Entendre about the "majestic longness" of the movie and how she doesn't mean that in the good way.
 * Every time she makes a crack about Liv Tyler. Quick, Liv! Indignation!

Bratz
"Chick: [either upset or moved] Can I punch you first?
 * Linkara once again intoning: ""Previously On..." Nostalgia Chick" as the credits mark out last episode, then two episodes ago, finally settling on three episodes ago.
 * As well as being creepy (and really quite hot), the Critic's "I am the master and you are the subordinate." Mostly because you know that's total bullshit.
 * How oblivious she is to the fact that it's him until he starts panicking.
 * * In Christian Bale's Batman voice* "BFFS! Hahahahahaha!"
 * "How many Hispanic stereotypes can we cram into one scene? *See the random mariachi band in the middle of the kitchen* What the hell, what the hell, what the hell you guys?"
 * After Critic makes his impassioned speech about doing this so she can be proud of watching the worst girly movie ever:

Critic: No."

"Chick: Who are you?
 * This bit, where she sees The Other Guy sitting in the dark.

The Other Guy: I dunno, it's your movie."


 * As well as being kinda adorable, the Critic trying to make himself look even taller and the Chick just pushing him back down.
 * Their hug followed by a mutual chloroforming. Aww?
 * Critic touching the unconscious Chick's ass before heading into sleepy-land himself.
 * Ma-Ti at the end. "...I can sense you."

Mulan
"Chick: (afterwards) Hmm."
 * "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and I think you know what time it is." *starts dancing before "Disney Time!" pops up*
 * So what kind of awkward-slash-awesome do we have today? Why, Mulan, of course." She's so gleeful!
 * "Let's try to do it in a tasteful way this time, shall we?" *cut to the scene of the soldiers ordering Chinese food from Chi Fu*

"Father: Please help Mulan today.
 * "Let's go ahead and use the word 'honor' no less than 50 times." Cut to a montage of various characters from the movie saying "honor".
 * "You're not going to say the Hun lobby over here going 'Hey!'"
 * "Do they all just suffer from jaundice or something?"
 * Calling George Takei a "fucking pimp".

Chick: She spends all her time on the internet."

"Assistant: The huns have invaded China!
 * "The plot has arrived!"

Chick: Farrrk!"

"Nostalgia Chick: No! No...ah, no, that ain't right!"
 * Chick and Nella singing along to "I'll Make A Man Out Of You".
 * "HORRIFIC IMPLICATIONS TIME! *Pelvic Thrusting to Porno Music*"
 * "Looks like Shaun Yu found that little girl... *"more thrusting"
 * Footbinding. "You bleated?" "TO WIKIPEDIA!" And the Brick Joke.
 * Forgive my thickheadedness. What Brick Joke?
 * The Footbinding. Namely, Nella running to wikipedia to research it. Some time later, she cuts Chick off mid-sentence as she starts screaming and shows her the pics on her laptop.


 * The inevitable reference to the meme when it's revealed the name of Mulan's horse is named "Khan." Her perky expression makes it.

Earth Girls Are Easy
"Candy Pink: What do you want?!
 * The 'What do you want' moment...

Nostalgia Chick: *Pelvic thrusting to porno music*"

"Geena Davis: You were going to have sex without me?
 * "Now we crave more substantive fare, like I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here or Flavor of Love 3."
 * Her weak "yay" when she says the movie stars aliens.
 * "It sounds better than it actually is."
 * Calling the video of the alien girl before the credits "incredibly tame porn".
 * Using Schindler's List as an example of a film that should have an 80s band sing the title.
 * "Totally normal not to want to bump uglies with the perfect-bodied Geena Davis. Maybe it was because she was taller than him."
 * "Funny how cute and innocent Geena Davis can look despite being nine foot tall and being built like an ox."
 * "Hate yourself, woman!"
 * Her madlibbing of the title:
 * "Self-esteem debasement is easy."
 * "Product placement is easy." *holds up a can of coke*
 * "Earth men are eeeeevil."
 * This, when Geena Davis finds her boyfriend's been cheating:

Chick: That's the idea!"

"Singer: I want his babies.
 * Making fun of the lead's priorities: "It's bad enough that I'm being abducted but in my string bikini? Oooh!"
 * Her fangasm when she sees Jeff Goldblum naked. "And now I'm in a room by myself and- talking to myself. [beat] That's chaos theory."
 * Screaming in disgust at Jim Carrey's Overly Long Tongue:

Chick: So they can pleasure you too? Who says that?"


 * When the cat goes, um, multi-colored. "...I think the cat just came."
 * Understanding Geena Davis's slightly odd fear of hairy men.
 * Trying to dance to the singer's Everyone Loves Blondes song but realizing she has brown hair and proceeds to sulk.

Disney Princesses

 * The jazz-hand thing she does when she says Disney haunts everyone's nostalgia with one word: "dreams".
 * The listing of the incredibly strange merchandise Disney has put it out, like blenders, shopping carts and buckets.
 * Her utter hatred of "If You Can Dream". You can't blame her.
 * "It's a whole new world! ...of indoctrination."
 * On Mulan being in the line-up: "Bitch, you aren't a princess."
 * "She hugged royalty, but that's about it."
 * Megara from Hercules wasn't allowed in the line-up because her hips don't lie.
 * The caption for her first point of what it means to be a Disney princess: "Where did you go, Mommy?"
 * Her theory that the company commits matricide as soon as the hero/heroine of the movie is born. Followed by a "Shh" from Snow White.
 * Triton is spreading his merseed all over the Atlantis.
 * The bumbling dads in Disney have all the manliness of a weebl.
 * How she wants "cunning in political situations" to be one of Aurora's gifts in Sleeping Beauty. Hilarious in Hindsight when you consider her thirst for power in Kickassia.
 * "You want something non-descript and by God, you're going to sing about it."
 * "And she's like "woah, that man is hot, I want it!"" Coupled with Shang in Mulan taking his shirt off.
 * Thinking Belle wanted to go on a roadtrip.
 * At the end of the review, she gets attacked by a ninja sent by the Disney corporation when she starts to accuse them of making The Princess And the Frog to expand their Disney Princesses merchandising.

Beauty And The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
"Nostalgia Chick: What...What...What-ever."
 * The fact that the review, possibly the nerd-ragiest one she's done, starts off with the cheery "Deck The Halls" and panning over her Christmas tree.
 * The highly beleagured sigh as she opens the review.
 * "This holiday season, I'm gonna get personal. Yeah, I'm actually going share with you something deeply personal to me. In that, I'm gonna share something that is deeply personally grotesque... to me." *disarming smile*
 * "...I don't even know where to start." And this is at forty two seconds in.
 * Her fangirl gushing over the original movie.
 * The Chick using 'Untitled' by Simple Plan as background music, when the characters Wangst around, accompanied by her tracing a tear down her cheek.
 * Her reaction to seeing Beast lock Belle in a dungeon for trying to get a Christmas tree: shock, pouting, then weakly pointing a finger and saying "Boooo..."
 * Also her reaction to the climax of the film, and the dialogue during it.

"Chick: Oh, by the way, my God what passes for humor."
 * The ending, where she starts off saying how much she can't stand the movie again and ends up revealing that her uncle molested her. Bonus for a sunshine-y smile right afterward.
 * "And while this one was by no means the only Disney classic that got shamelessly ass-raped by the existence of a horrible Direct to Video sequel..."
 * "It's also more ass-rapey because it happens during the movie."
 * "It's superfluous, it's simplistic, it's gratuitous, it adds nothing, it has no regards for any of the established characters and just proceeds to trample on anything that made the first movie good!"
 * It's like bad fanfiction!" *scare chord*
 * "Apparently nobody remembers the events that went down ONE YEAR PRIOR."
 * "Yes, please recount to us Mrs. Potts, this event WHICH WE WERE ALL PRESENT FOR."
 * "This whole mess doesn't even remotely fit... MOVING ON!"
 * Her stepford delivery of this line, including clasping her hands in fake joy:

"Minion: I'd do anything for a solo.
 * And right after, crying harder and harder each time they try and be "funny".
 * "What in the anthromorphic candlestick hell?"
 * Talking about the Character Derailment of both Beast and Belle: "This bitch is like his freaking life coach! Come on monster who destroyed my life and took everything, let's go ice-skating!"
 * "And I don't think I even have the energy to go into the unholy fisting his character got. ...yet."
 * Calling Tim Curry the "poor man's bad guy in all things".
 * Her smirk when she cuts to Paul Reuban's mugshot.
 * The impersonation of Tim Curry:

Curry: Yes. I know.

Chick: [with a look of complete disdain] You did last night several times."

"Chick: He just loves playing his organ for the Beast."
 * Her theory that the organ has a bizarre co-dependent crush on the Beast.

"Belle: I don't know why I bother.
 * "My shadow is large and beast-shaped, I'm going to throw an autistic temper tantrum! Take that, snow!"

Chick: I don't know either. In the first movie you wouldn't have!"

"Chick: ...I think this angle worked better when it was just stained glass."
 * Her screaming Angrish when Belle sings a song about trying to get to know the Beast.
 * All of her Angrish when the movie just keeps proving too stupid to handle.
 * "I think Lumiere sticks his candlestick where it doesn't belong a lot."
 * The Bernadette Peters angel is only there to add to the emo quotiant."
 * The look of crushed disgust when we get the Prince's shitty backstory.

Dragonheart
"Connery: Bond. James Bond.
 * "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and is there anything more pimp than dragons?"
 * "He paved the way for CGI characters. Sometimes unfortunately." *shows Jar Jar Binks*
 * Her reaction to seeing that Draco is voiced by Sean Connery.

The Nostalgia Chick: Heh, I just came!"


 * Before that, her saying that she went through a dragon phase when she was eleven. Mostly fueled by the Audio Erotica that is Sean Connery.
 * "I'd say that this was actually the best of the dragon movies. I'd also say that's not saying a lot."
 * "Sean Connery. Lover. Fighter. Fuckin' dragon."
 * Forget that, the James Bond opening animation in which James is replaced by a pimp-walking dragon who then shoots the guy looking at him through the barrel of a gun takes the cake.
 * "It's pre-career Jason Isaacs!" *Isaacs speaks* "Pre...talent Jason Isaacs."

The Smurfette Principle
"Critic: Hey, congratulations, you got the job!
 * The beginning, where she emits a big sigh and gives everyone a sulky wave.
 * Especially when she introduces Optimus Prime's girlfriend-"Also she's PIIIINK!"
 * And then introducing BlackArachnia, saying that she was actually a villain. "We know because she's not PIIIIINK."
 * The flashback.

Chick: Hey, that's great, hooray for life! *Thumbs up* :D

Critic: Oh yeah, you'll love it! You'll be just like me, only female!

Chick: D:

Critic: Alright! Later, bye! God, I'm awesome."


 * "Eh, it pays the bills."

Titanic
"Chick: Why is she so easy to hate? Is is because of her big, weird, head? Is it because she's Canadian? [a picture of Canada with the caption "EASY TARGET" flashes onscreen] Or it could just be that you couldn't escape the damn thing. Run down a street, duck into a gas station, it was coming after you. Duck into a McDonalds, it saw you, oh, and it's coming there too. It's coming, with wind blown hair, and gawdy sequined Canadian gowns!
 * "The nineties left us with a plethora of questions; questions about NAFTA, why does Roland Emmerich keep making movies, whatever became of those Hanson Boys?"
 * Her saying right off at the bat that this episode isn't about the animated musical.
 * Making James Cameron into a Memetic Badass.
 * "What does that even mean? Your heart will go where?"
 * Comparing Titanic to Terminator 2 and True Lies. "One of these things is not like the other."
 * Pointing at the screen with a devilish smirk when she's talking about guys "hating" the movie; "You saw it. You know you saw it."
 * Regarding the backlash: "It was strong. It was fierce. *claps her hands* "And was anyone surprised?"
 * The Chick wondering about the hate surrounding Celine Dion.

Celine Dion: YOOOOOOOOOOOU'RE HEEEEEEEERE..."


 * And then later, she is actually drowned out by the song as she tries to conclude the video.
 * Her almost shell-shocked look when she remembers "Leo Mania".
 * "Why did he have to be so damned cute?"
 * "How dare you quote a line from your movie when you win an award? Grr."
 * How happy she is to see Billy Zane hamming it up.
 * "...there's a market for catchphrases."
 * The disgust at the "I'm flying" line. "No. No you're not."
 * *SNAP* "There. You just lost your male demographic."

My Little Pony
"Chick: Mama, why can't you love us?"
 * Playing Lady Gaga's "Love Game" in the background. You know, "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick"? Soundtrack Dissonance, ahoy!
 * "All little girls go through a HORSIE phase. And Hasbro knew this, and exploited it well, evil geniuses that they are."
 * While talking about the show versus Transformers: "...we got oddly proportioned horse beasts with tattoos representing their names on their asses." She sounds so bitter.
 * Morphing a rearing horse into a "an alien creature with soft, rounded corners, pastel colors and eyes that are big enough to swallow its head".
 * "What did they all do in Pony Valley? Besides get catty, have fights and, I dunno... walk around, defecate, things ponies do.
 * Pointing out that she probably sold her ponies for lipstick and tweezers.
 * Coining the term "wo-Man Child" for Nella.
 * "No wonder why there's no understanding between the sexes."
 * "There's like a whole movement of grown women who paint the asses of ponies."
 * How she's too lazy to do more than go on Wikipedia to learn about the show.
 * "Haha, she's fat!"
 * Identifying with the antagonist daughters because her mother made her feel inadequate.

"Pony: *Cheerily* It's the witches from the Volcano of Gloom!
 * The ponies' cheeriness about the witches.

Chick: *Also cheerily* It's the coven from the Geyser of Malaise!"

"...who cried herself to sleep at night because she was in a loveless marriage, and their spawn was Appletree. You can tell because he has trees and apples, which is a combination of the two horses. He did not realize that his mother was living and trapped in a loveless marriage because he was wee and did not understand the horrors and pains of life. You had the schoolteacher, who also was a whore with a heart of gold, and all the little ponies loved her, because she was sweet and had a heart of gold even though she was a whore."
 * "AND WHAT'S WITH YOUR DEMON EYES!?"
 * The picture of a drunk man passed out face first in a urinal when she bemoans that she keeps dating alcoholics.
 * All of Nella's melodrama, partly because of her tone of voice while explaining it and the background music.


 * Also Hilarious in Hindsight. The new show is a Played for Laughs Dysfunction Junction with every main pony having at least one huge breakdown in what's been yet only one season.
 * "In the land of ponies, Clydesdale equals Budweiser and Budweiser equals men. Because only men are man enough to drink that watery horse-piss called beer."
 * "...is that a camera?"
 * "You put a camera in my room at my parent's house." It's like she's realizing what she's gotten herself into.
 * "When it's your semesters, I am a FREE. AUTONOMOUS. NELLA."
 * How completely and utterly oblivious the Chick is to Nella's rage. And how when "My Little Ponies" are mentioned, Nella goes fangirl and forgets she was ever angry.
 * The Chick's "WTF" headtilt when the fangirling happens.

Showgirls
"P-Cash: [breaking] Director, I really must protest!
 * "It's a perfect storm of shit!"
 * Her theory that it's so terribly bad that it has to be an art film. And after, trying to tell herself that "it's a profound, political statement that all of us are just too obtuse to try and understand."
 * "What is, on the surface, a sort of womansploitation epic that shows no working knowledge of not only female behaviour but human behaviour in general is really a feminist polemic. It is satire at its purest and most clever form; so clever that we don't get it. Nobody gets it!"
 * "Geddit? No-Mi I'm alone. Genius!" The almost manically sarcastic delivery makes it.
 * "You know, we like her because she's tough and treats everyone like shit. And has long since overcome her crippling caffeine pill addiction from Saved By the Bell."
 * Trying to figure out where Nomi came from and settling on being pulled from the thigh of Zeus.
 * Her confused "Whaat?" to the sleazy guy telling Nomi "sooner or later you're gonna have to sell it!".
 * "Fuck, he's right! I gotta go sell it!"
 * "Should we even bother keeping track of the 'what'?"
 * "Ketchup the fuck out of those fries!"
 * "All I have are these fries!"
 * After the "friendly black lady" goes inside and strips immediately: "I knew it! I knew this is what it was like! ...wait, I am female."
 * Only being able to call her "crack team" humans.
 * "I do it for you people."
 * The re-enactment of the NC-17 scenes is gold.
 * Especially the lapdance re-enactment!
 * "There's something wrong with your nipples. I'm erect: why aren't they erect?"

Chick: Do it!"

"Everybody got AIDS and shit!"
 * Nella having to wear a very tiny silver bikini. (Over her t-shirt, of course.)
 * Use of boobies (as in, the bird) as a censor bar.
 * "Ha ha, Visual Pun... no."
 * Lisa being passed over for the various parts by all of her friends The Chick's total obliviousness to this last bit is hilarity.
 * "I just really hate your car!"
 * "We're going to the lazer light show! Sieze, bitch!"
 * And this gem...

- Everybody got AIDS... and shit!

"Al: "It must be weird not having people cum on you."
 * This line:

Chick: (long pause) "It is.""

"Chick: "Wow, we both taste like Kyle Mac Lachlan's dick!""
 * And just beforehand, her deeply sarcastic disbelief that a man wrote that.
 * After Elizabeth Berkley kisses Gina Gershon...


 * No mention of Nella's scenery-chewing song at the end yet?
 * "I think ice is a symbol of oppression in this movie or something... I dunno."
 * On the "doggy chow" scene: "How does this guy have such piercing insight into the female psyche?"
 * "So the movie's over?" *perkily turns to leave* "Oh, I guess not, nobody's been raped yet."

Blonde Girls Now And Then

 * The beginning, where she tells everyone in a very caring, motherly tone that "it's okay" to love shitty music.
 * The Chick's goofy dancing. All of it.
 * The Chick imagining Mick Jagger, after hearing the line "And the dudes are lining up/'Cause they think we got swagger/But we kick them to the kerb unless they look like Mick Jagger".
 * Wondering if Ke$ha even knows what Mick Jagger looks like.
 * "And I called Britney 'Titney' because I thought I was clever and I was wildly jealous of her fame and success and wealth and all that."
 * Even funnier now that we've seen flashbacks of young Chick as a wangsty, fat Emo Teen who listens to Phantom of the Opera and Limp Bizkit.
 * "Thank God I had all those cameras installed in her room!"
 * "Some of us want to have sex, albeit non-promiscuously, and some of us want to love you forever!" *cue Jessica Simpson belting*
 * Calling Jessica Simpson a virtuous cocktease.
 * Nella dancing in her room with a fedora on her head. Also quite awesome.

Ever After
""Once upon a time, in a land far far away, called... SideKickassia-"
 * "As you may know, sometimes I like to spy on my BFF Nella because she entertains me. I do this by installing cameras in her bedroom. And while this may not shock you, sometimes she likes to dress up and pretend she's a princess." The funniest thing about it is the delivery, it's like this is such an every day occurrence instead of a gross invasion of Nella's private space.
 * Nella's "princessing" involving bragging to a guy on the phone about bragging that she's going to kick his ass in archery drinking him under the table again.
 * "But what does it mean to be a princess? That you are treated like delicate royalty or that you are a monarch that wields power... or at least you will when your mother and/or father dies."
 * Nella's fairy tale:

"There lived a Princess named Nella, and though she was homely and on the... voluptuous side, she was quite intelligent! Oh yes.""


 * Her expressed irritation at the Cinderella story being told "over and over and over".
 * Her complaints about Bella being an Audience Surrogate and Twilight in general become hilarious when you watch the Lupa crossover and find out she's on Team Edward.
 * While talking about Cinderella being a Purity Sue: "Her character traits are that she's nice. And she's pretty!"
 * Playing "Paranoid Android" (specifically the "rain down on me" part) while discussing Cindy's passivity.
 * "She's so passive she won't even tell us what she wants!"
 * "Oh God, it's six in the morning and that bitch is singing again..."
 * On Cinderella III: "Agh, Jesus fuck, you insipid twat. Please stop making them money!"
 * Nella, decked out for Renn Faire and armed with a sword: "For Side-Kickassia! And geekery!" *Races off screen*

Grease

 * The entire makeover of Nella. The entire thing.
 * But just to name a single Crowning Moment: the Makeover Fairy, after trying in vain to find suitable makeup to cover Nella's homely features, gleefully eyes a paper bag.
 * The slightly sadistic glee that the Chick has while watching her friend getting tort- groomed.
 * "The only way you're getting this Trek shirt is if you cut it off my dead, cold, stiff body!" *cut to Nella looking miserable and the Makeover Fairy throwing it on the floor*
 * "You dated another girl! Unpure!"
 * Sally's realization that Danny *ahem* respects her followed with several seconds of canned laughter.
 * "Oh great, another FUCKING camera."
 * "I made a wish for you! And it came true!" Slightly terrifying, totally hilarious.
 * The Makeover Fairy appearing from what looks like a load of glitter.
 * "The content is about as flimsy as the film covering John Travolta's hair."
 * "High school, cast of Grease? Really?" Followed by a montage of the actors' ages to the tune of Spanish Flea.
 * "Maybe he pointed out that she had a wrinkle or a gray hair or something."

Dune
"Terrified Studio: Hey David Lynch how much does this cost? What the f*&% is this thing? What purpose does this serve in out two hour monstrosity?"
 * The entire thing. Especially the role-playing conversation between David Lynch and the terrified studio.


 * "Y'know I'm so glad this bit is in the movie guys... or I'd be so lost. All my questions are pretty much answered here."
 * [Expressionless Beat] "...So that happens."
 * "Gah! Why? Why did I choose to review Dune? I just wanted to understand! I thought I could understand! And also Patrick Stewart."
 * "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and you're about to see Sting in a galactic speedo."
 * And the faces she pulls whenever the clip is shown.
 * PARTY WORM!
 * HARKONNENS NOT INVITED!
 * "This is genocide, and here's the definition of genocide!"
 * "The spice. Must. Flow."

Hercules
"Chick: It's a kid's movie. They can't show Zeus banging everything with a hole in it as part of Hercules's noble beginnings."
 * The video description: "Drink, drink and be merry!"
 * Calling her team her extended family, when really everyone (except for Nella) treats each other like crap.
 * "And you'll be shlockered you won't even remember your own name." *big creepy grin*
 * "And though an elaborate series of grunts and whines, I will attempt to share it with you."
 * Telling all the people who bitch about the movie not being accurate to go stuff a ballgag in their mouth and sit in the corner.

"[on the bottle of death] "Where did you get that? I said where did you get that? What is that? Why is there a limited quantity of it? Why have you been hoarding this thing that can kill your hated enemy at any time? Wha-what is this room of god-death bottle pink juice? Eh, maybe that's Hades's plot device room.
 * Playing the Rocky music while she describes how Hercules kills Megara and their children, brought on by a rage induced by his mother. Bonus for pausing on a scene where the mother has a really teeth-baring smile.
 * Being surprised that during the training montage, Herc didn't run up a flight of stairs.
 * "He's like a puppy! We're meant to be endeared by his simpleness!"
 * "Mongo only pawn in game of life."
 * Sarcastically going "our hero" when Hercules punches Hades out.
 * Her confused, increasingly upset calls for an explanation of the Plot Holes, as well as using Crickets Chirping.

"Hey, hey movie. Movie! Where are you going? Come back, plot! Listen to me! Why isn't anybody listening to me?!""


 * "And where was Poseidon for this? Eh, maybe he was drinking a martini."
 * Calling Hades Meg's gay best friend.
 * The Morning After after the girls get completely wasted. All of it.
 * Especially Nella who, although seemingly content with waking up to a tribble next to her, freaks out when she learns it's actually a bunny.

Playing God
"Dr. Tease: You have a hangnail."
 * Nella's pun at the beginning. "I am a mad scientist. In fact, I'm furious!"
 * "Now technically I'm an engineer."
 * "I'm Dr. Tease, and I think science is frivolous and fun."
 * Dr. Tease growling sexily in Dr. Block's direction, after the latter just insulted her.
 * Nella hamming it up while Dr. Tease nonchalantly does her nails for her.

"Chickbot: "I was not God's will!"
 * That poor robot of hers...
 * "What is the meaning of life? I'm so alone." Added bonus is the Chick's "WTF" expression.
 * "And in my case it's creating a walking, dish-doing, intelligent, fuckable coffeepot!" Followed by her sighing happily.

Chick: "I'm not paying you to talk."

Chickbot: "Mistress does not pay me at all..."

Chick: "Shut up, top me off and drop trou. These nuts ain't going to bust themselves.""

"Dr. Block: Why would you make something so... wrong?""
 * Her grinning two-thumbs up after Dr. Tease says she built the Sex Slave robot for her.

"Chick: Nor can I particularly see what's going on but I think that's a good thing."
 * Calling her TV remote a robot-controlling tazer.
 * The bizarreness of her trying to feed him coffee.
 * Slapping the robot when it tries to call her a hypocrite. She also slaps it for no reason before the point "Never trust a robot".
 * Saying she's doing this episode so that nobody will bring on the zombie apocalypse.
 * "Just try to make sure it doesn't reanimate the dead."
 * "But just make sure you don't have a Hitler-like personality that will go all mad with power the second you get promoted to middle management."
 * "And if you're young and relatable instead of old, cracked and scary, eh, you're probably going to end up better off."
 * Complaining about Ang Lee's Hulk movie:


 * Don't put your dick in it. :(
 * And the almost guilty look she shoots her robot the first time she says that.
 * At the end of the section, her main thought is how it benefits her and not her own unholy abomination.
 * "Where did you learn your science ethics, sir? The University of Mengele?"

Nostalgia Chick Labs
"Chick: It's been a rough few months."
 * Lindsay making fun of her schedule slip by stuffing a pillow up her shirt and her hair looking like she's crawled out of hibernation.

"Brian: What about rapping about ra-[NELLA PUNCH!]"
 * Saying her team have been working around the clock to give you the best online media that you have ever seen, either on a handi cam or a flip mino.
 * Nella's lesson on identifying evil. Also some awesome foreshadowing:
 * Redheads with goatees = Lord MacGuffin was the main catalyst for Nella's death.
 * The color green = Dark Nella shoots green lightning.
 * When Nella discusses how green is evil, Dr. Block tries to find the color on a disinterested Dr. Tease.
 * The return of "paaaaaaink!"
 * The whole "Rapping About Rape" segment:

The Man In The Iron Mask
"Chick: Woah, there are like... people in this movie."
 * Her waking up in a room filled with empty beer bottles and Cheetos.
 * Her being so out of it that her vision is blurred.
 * Nella's "Now Lindsay, don't take this the wrong way... but you sound fat."
 * The Chick being a complete Bad Liar and not being able to come up with any witty response.
 * Nella's total meltdowning rage at the whole "eating cheetos and drinking beer for the past four months" thing.
 * Her top being inside-out.
 * That genuinely disturbing face she makes when she's successfully bullshitted her way through what she's going to talk about today.
 * "This was before that Scorsese clown got a hold of him and made him all 'legit actor' or whatever."
 * "I think you had to be a certain type to enjoy this film: either a thirteen year old girl or the kind who likes ham."
 * Her reaction to "The Three Musketeers", the Disney live-action film:

"Chick: He's like the least inbred-looking royal ever."
 * Calling much attention to Leo's bishie-like face.


 * All her making fun of the Draco in Leather Pants phenomenon, as well as fangirls in general.
 * Her description of John Malkovich's acting modes: Acting, "Malkovich Malkovich", and Angry Olive Garden Patron Who Over-Enunciates Every-Thing He Says.
 * "Well fine, I'm going to play a lovable old curmudgeon on Fox."
 * "Guys, the weirdo is strangling the king, y'wanna like, help the king? These guys are just standing there like 'Hmm, maybe we should do something.'"
 * "The king doesn't care that she taken, and one day traps her in his majesty's...rape fountains."
 * Nella at the end: "Are you fat? Or have you just been stuffing pillows up your shirt again?"

Rise Of The Eyebrow
"Chick: ...how did you get in here?
 * Just before Nella pops up, Chick stroking her chin (even though she's very obviously beardless) wondering where she's seen the Tangled poster expression before.
 * Nella freaking out the Chick (for once!) by popping out of nowhere and engaging in full Genki Girl mode.


 * more fangirl!Nella*

Chick: ...how did you get on this coast?"

"Nella: You are a God amongst men.
 * And then the Chick pretty much copying N. Bison and acting like "Disney needing competition" was all her idea while Nella looks sad.
 * It turning out that the only reason Nella came was to get Lindsay to go with her to Disneyland. The Chick's Death Glare is priceless.
 * Wondering how Dreamworks would market their theme park. "The most Jack Black-iest place on earth?"
 * As soon as Nella says "dance party", some disco music starts and the women enthusiastically dance.
 * The animation about Disney falling in the 70's and Dreamworks being like a monster-y hurricane.
 * The terrified Creator Worship of Jeffery Katzenberg.

Chick: Please don't hurt us."

""...like 2 squirrels in a sock.""
 * The back and forth about whether he quit or resigned, and the Dramatic Thunder when they say he vowed revenge.
 * The blink-and-you'll-miss-it caption "People are racist" when the Chick says that The Princess and The Frog tanked for a few reasons.
 * The assertion that the two kids in the Tangled poster are fucking.

""Damn you, star! I didn't wish upon you...and it's not even night-time.""
 * Motor Mouth-ing what Megamind was really about.
 * Nella after realizing there's a Puss in Boots prequel:

Dualing Movies
"Chick: Nobody likes puns, Disney, come on..
 * The title card with the Will Smith fish backing her up against the fourth wall.
 * "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and a very merry... end of the fiscal year to you."
 * Her holding of A Glass of Chianti.
 * "And the unholy abomination that is Dreamworks... Animation. [beat] I didn't mean to rhyme that."
 * Disney is crafted out of princesses, dreams and fear.
 * The hilariously cold comment:

Nella: [hurt] ...Nella likes puns.

Chick: As I was saying, nobody likes puns.

Nella: [Slopes away like a beaten dog.]"

"Chick: Leave my dreams, Will Smith fish!
 * How only a few minutes of Shark Tale manages to completely break her mind.

Chick: Will Smith fish, it isn't time for you yet!"


 * Her total disgust when she actually has to talk about it.
 * Weirdly, I love her claw hands. Fitting for one of her bitchiest (and therefore best) episodes.
 * Nella going off to cry at the end is sad, but it's also made hilarious by the Chick's oblivious, dorky dancing.
 * Introducing Shrek with omnious drums on the soundtrack.
 * Getting worked up over ranting about her hatred for the movie and having to tell herself to not get angry.
 * "Begone, minion!" Nella's confused expression is golden. And so is the Chick's perkiness afterwards.
 * The Beat and the look on her face after she says the first Dream Works movie was Aladdin.
 * The reference to The Thief and The Cobbler: "Looks like someone stole someone else's idea doh-ho!"
 * Calling Robin Williams a schizophrenic crackbaby.
 * Seeing the Chick bored out of her mind at Disney, even picking her nose, while Nella is filled with childlike wonder.
 * Trying so hard to get back to her analytical, collected style of reviewing after Shrek makes her angry and Shark Tale drives her crazy.
 * "Disney, they ripped you off and they did it better than you. That is sad."
 * "This is what happens when a bunch of white shut-ins try to be hip. And do so with fish."

The Fifth Element
""Joke's on you! I'm still going to masturbate to your picture tonight!""
 * Her dislike of Bruce Willis's "effeminate wifebeater" shirt. "Something about it just ain't right." It's even the very first thing she mentions.
 * "So today we're going to look at what happens when you let a French metrosexual make a sci-fi action movie, give him Jean Paul Gartier as his sidekick and give them even the smallest of budgets. ...and also Bruce Willis."
 * Calling the movie both weird and "incredibly conventional".
 * *As Chris Tucker's character is hitting on someone* "Uh-oh, looks like someone's got a case of the not-gay's!"
 * And "Oh, I forgot Bruce Willis is in this movie, so, uh... Bruce Willis, ladies and gentlemen. *Cue Bruce Willis shooting a lot*
 * Douchey McNitpick arguing with the Chick:


 * The lampshading of the Obviously Evil bearded guy. "Well it's the first time you've offered me a drink and you're staring at me creepily..."
 * "So the fifth element is...heart?"" *does the little hand punch* "Ma-ti was unavailable for comment."
 * Near the end, her petting that strange little robot that had been sitting behind her the whole review.
 * "Whoever he is, he's got a popped collar!"

Kirk vs. Picard
"Nostalgia Chick: AUGH, that whore!"
 * Nella's face when she comes in at the beginning and thinks the Chick is fangirling over Kirk.
 * Considering how she, y'know, dies at the end of the episode, Nella's "Stayin' Alive" t-shirt is delicious.
 * Nostalgia Chick's goofy dancing to Picard's theme song.
 * The ludicrous books the Chick is reading, making herself a parody of a Brainy Brunette instead of one just played straight.
 * It's a Freeze Frame Bonus, but the Chick went to Extortion University for a "useless degree in film".
 * Chick nitpicking Nella's Double Entrendre.
 * Lindsay's "cultured" explanation of why Picard is far awesomer.
 * Calling Kirk "a rash manchild who'll stick his peepee into anything with a hole in it."
 * "It causes me great distress to hold in all this smouldering manliness."
 * Nella using "KHAAAAN" as a Chewbacca Defense.


 * Chick: "I am better than a nerd. I'm...an academic."
 * Nella's response that Squee gives fangirls power. Also Foreshadowing for how Dark Nella gets defeated.
 * The return of the Sex Bot, as woobie-ish and as sarcastic as ever.
 * "The only thing that fuels me is my sadness."
 * His calling her a dictator.
 * Chick taking his suggestion to go through a wormhole totally seriously.
 * And it works.
 * Especially the second half of it, starting from where the Nostalgia Chick is pulling herself out of the worm hole inside of Nella's washer until the end where
 * "...you live in such squalor." "...I just moved."
 * The Chick and Nella's synchronized gasps when they see Lord MacGuffin.
 * Lord MacGuffin's face when he realizes that maybe pissing off both Chick and Nella wasn't such a fantastic idea.
 * "I never thought I'd have to bury her under rocks."

X-Men
"Chick: And I only need one sidekick that's gonna lick me constantly so you can peace the hell out."
 * "Now, um, ever since the tragic death of my BFF Nella at the hands of a ladder..." The funniest bit is how even she thinks it's pretty ridiculous.
 * Pronouncing "Melancholy" the same way Megamind does.
 * "X-Men is nostalgic. We're doing nostalgic things."
 * Dr. Tease's Suspiciously Specific Denial that Dr. Block "is not in space".
 * The fact that the Chick needs to have power so much that she'll call her puppy a french word for "minion". Also saying outright that she knows everything, constrasting with her later admissions that the show had a lot of things that threw her stupid kid mind off.

"Jubilee: Does a mall babe eat chili fries?
 * The Nostalgia Chick's very dry, boring summary on the show after losing Nella... and then speeding up to hilariously hyperactive levels after a shot of adrenaline truth serum.
 * Dr. Tease blowing at her needle like it's a smoking gun.
 * Dr. Tease and Chick's dancing along to the XMen theme song.
 * Assuming Storm has the power over polyester as well as weather.
 * "What's her [Jubilee] power? I don't know but it sounds like fireworks!"
 * When Jubilee says goodbye to her parents:

Chick: [beat] Right."

"Chick: America loves them some hairy man angst and Wolverine's got it in spades, disagreeing with all the other X Men. A lot. To the point where you're like "why are you even here? just to be the angry foil?" He does leave the X Men a couple of times, but it's always for business reasons like "I gotta go track down my past" or "I gotta kill Sabretooth cos I hate that guy!""
 * Talking about Wolverine:


 * Don't forget Dr Tease's playing a tiny violin while NC mourns Nella.
 * "Nightcrawler's the reason I learned German!" Gratuitous German ensues.
 * Her fangirling Squee over Beast. "Oh HUG ME BEAST! YOU'RE SO BLUE! I LOVE BLUE THINGS!"
 * "Professor X is the world's most bald telepath..."
 * "Kitty Pryde was in England with Nightcrawler in this X-Men spin-off called Excalibur, which was weird and amazing and I loved it and I read every single issue all the way up until it was bad!"
 * The delighted look on Dr. Tease's face when she notes down everything embarrassing that the Chick spills out.
 * The insulting "Goodbye Internet's Rose", also an awesome way for Lindsay to show off her soprano skills.
 * It's fridge humor at best, but with the Nightmare Fuel ending, you take the laughs you can get. What does Dark Nella do to the Nostalgia Chick? Literally stuffs her in the fridge.

Top Ten Best Nostalgic Villains
"Chick: I know it sounds weird but I'm in the refrigerator."
 * Chick going from the screaming terror in the last review to just... being kinda confused.

"Chick: Why were his innards green?"
 * Lampshading the change of location. "This regrigerator looks different. Gotta go!"
 * The Sex Bot's snarky "you're welcome" when his mistress leaves without a thank you.
 * The Chick instantly blaming Dr. Tease for Dark Nella. "You! I told you not to clone her!"
 * "I did not put any DNA from your sidekicks into this puppy. At all."
 * "I put some DNA in that puppy." Cue Chick screaming in disgust and grabbing her puppy away.
 * Dr. Tease's excited "really?" when the Chick tells her what happened to Nella.
 * Dark Nella being first shown cuddling (evilly) a bunny.
 * Dr. Tease being, well, a tease and giving the bedroom eyes to pretty much everyone before Dark Nella kills her.
 * The Chick wisely screaming and hiding when Nella arrives.
 * The Megamind Shout-Out. "Dark Nellaaaaa!"
 * "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick. I'm hiding out in a room somewhere and it would seem that evil has overtaken my former BFF. So in light of that, it seems like now would be an appropriate time to review the top ten evilest characters ever, like I'd been planning to do anyway so it's ironic."
 * The Star Wars Shout-Out, with calling a child "youngling". And repeating the "It gives you focus" line as a Running Gag.
 * "So with that in mind, while we all cower in fear from the dark one, let us begin the evilest nostalgic characters."
 * The Call Back to Shan Yu from Mulan being a little girl rapist, especially playing the bouncy "I Love Little Girls" over his montage.
 * The only reason Shan Yu invaded China was because building the wall was an affront to his manliness.
 * "And then he just gnaws his way through China like a spiteful, gnawing thing."
 * "And of course not to mention the little girl. Okay okay, I'll shut up."
 * "Sorry, sorry, Academy Award winner Angelica Houston."
 * Her utter terror at Angelica Houston killing one of the child-mice with her heel, as well as her puppy choosing that moment to bounce as much as she can. "Aaah! Oh my God, what a horrible way to die! Oh God! Oh God! Oh, puppy!"

"Chick: But conspiracy to murder millions of children? That's going to get you a few life sentences."
 * How she can't blame the witches for wanting to kill children because they smell bad.

"Chick: He's a lion! Does he just have bad environmental policy?"
 * Using "Smack My Bitch Up" for Angelica Houston's montage.
 * Lampshading how ridiculous the Fisher King plot for The Lion King is.

"Chick: Guess that goes to show you, gay lions have no business being in charge."
 * And her final sum-up:


 * The microwave settings: Dehydrate, Defrost, Destroy, De-flower
 * How does Dark Nella deal with The Chick? Stuffs her in the fridge. Again.
 * NChick commenting on the Foe Yay subtext between Basil and Ratigan.
 * "He will suffer the pain of a thousand flaming noogies."
 * The Chick claiming that Mola Ram's name actually means "Fuck you, India"

Roland Emmerich tribute
"*gasp* YOU!"
 * Her reaction to Chicago in ruins, managing a few moments of horror before shrugging it off because she never liked the city anyway.
 * The moment where she recognizes that the homeless guy in The Day After Tomorrow is the guy who said that "Everybody got AIDS 'n shit" in Showgirls.

"Dr. Tease: Mayonnaise? It's genetically altered!
 * A Boy and His Ex.
 * "Figured out a virus, or walked in some snow, or...accidentally killed her new boyfriend..."
 * "What is that lady doing there with all those fighter pilots, is she serving them cocktails?"
 * When Dr. Tease shows up.

Nostalgia Chick: I hate mayonnaise."

"Dr. Tease: Oh, that wasn't me, that was a robot clone.
 * Doubles because Dr. Tease points out that Lord MacGuffin was earlier seen injecting the mayonnaise with plot-device.
 * Dr. Tease's explanation of why she isn't dead.

Nostalgia Chick: Wait, so was it a robot or was it a clone?

Dr. Tease: Exactly!"

"Dr. Tease: Not orbiting a distant star."
 * Dr. Tease's explanation as to where her roommate is.

"Military Guy: Fire at will.
 * Regarding the surfeit of bit parts in Emmerich's movies, especially military guys:

Chick: No, don't fire at Will! He's the best thing in this movie!"

"Makeover Fairy: I JUST WANT TO HIDE MY FLAAAWS!"
 * "You get a part! You get a part! You get a part! You don't get a part."
 * Dark Nella tortures The Makeover Fairy by...scraping off her make-up with a spatula.

"Don't forget the box of drowning puppies outside! *puppies whimper*"
 * On The Littlest Cancer Patient:

"President: Yeah...mommy's sleeping...
 * This little gem:

NC: In the fridge."

"Chick: Yeah, back to bitching."
 * Calling Harry Connick Jr. Will Smith's "scrappy black friend". Continuously.
 * Nella easily managing to catch up with Dr. Tease and the Chick, although it might help that the latter two are in heels.
 * Dr. Tease completely missing the point of the robot's rant and trying to cheer him up with "You wash dishes so poetically!"
 * The Chick popping into the field and being happy that there's no major cities in sight.
 * Trying her very best to say some good things about Roland's movies, including that it was France's fuck-up in Godzilla not America's and that the chicken in 2012 was fun.

"Chick: The world is ending, read to meeee."
 * Imitating the Creepy Child and sounding a bit like those girls in The Shining.

"Chick: What has become of me?"
 * Her Heroic BSOD towards the end, inter-spaced with clips from The Three Stooges and Metropolis.


 * The fact that it's never mentioned again makes it all the funnier.
 * Benzaie poppping up to announce that, even though America is burning, France is fine.

The Craft
"Fairy: Someone that was so undesirable...
 * As soon as the Chick comes in, the Makeover Fairy grabs her and immediately panics. The Chick's look of "please don't touch me" is hilarious.
 * Dark!Nella's Psychotic Smirk at hearing The Makeover Fairy's voice.
 * Also the massive amounts of insults The Makeover Fairy spews out to lure her in.

Fairy: Oh I wish there was someone hideous enough that I could make desirable...

Fairy: Someone, whose beer goggles need to be eight inches thick. Someone who no man would ever ever ever ever want...

Fairy: Ever? Someone? Anyone?


 * Chick does her chloroforming thing*"

"Like "Hey girls! You think you got real friends? Well you don't.""
 * "Science? Fat lot of good that's done humanity!"
 * While everything is going on, Tammy's in the corner reading a book.
 * The entire concept of getting a magic expert by pulling a random goth chick off the street.
 * When the Chick is talking about all the things you do when having a witchcraft phase, she mentions shopping at Hot Topic twice.
 * "Oh no, precious, they want power."
 * Saying that the guy from Clueless is playing the guy from Clueless, just filtered through a more malicious universe.
 * The deeper your eyeliner and lipstick get, the more evil you are. "Which as we've seen is more or less how it works."
 * "Yeah, we totally killed that guy, I am so buzzing!"
 * "What's a good witch movie without attempted rape?"
 * "I like you, you suicidal bitch!"
 * Her theory that Fairuza Balk is genuinely insane and not even acting.
 * How she finds out Nella is still evil. "She stole my beer! That bitch!"
 * Lindsay and Elisa hamming it up during the attempted spell: "IT'S NOT WORKING!" "SHE'S JUST TOO BIG!"
 * The Chick, taking a cue from The Craft attempts to "bind" Nella by wrapping her picture in ribbon.
 * Lindsay's puppy trying to lick her neck when she's on the floor and being threatened by Nella.
 * This line is oddly funny, especially since it starts off in such a faux-cheerful tone:


 * At the end of the review, the Chick finally getting tired of Lord MacGuffin's non-explanations and pointing a gun at him. He understandably gives her more information.

Tron
"Except you're you're not an orange, you're a person and you're in this fantastic world!"
 * This:

"Dr. Block: The history of New York...er, well, the Disney version of the history of New York..."
 * As well as

"Dark!Nella: Why would anyone waste their time on such petty nerd endeavours such as reviews?
 * Dark Nella insisting she completely understood what happened at the climax of Tron, she just isn't going to explain it to Puny Earthlings.
 * Chick cowering in the corner while still trying to tell Dark Nella how to do a review.
 * The Chick Comically Missing the Point of both the speech she got at the beginning and the fact that Nella is in great pain trying to keep the force of evil at bay... by worrying about being called nerdy.
 * Her reaction to Dark Nella telling her that her "pitiful, judgemental, shut-in, nerdy" life will end was hilarious too. Just an uncomprehending shrug of her shoulders with a "what can I tell you" smile. She actually has more of a response when Nella attacks her nerd-dom, not when, y'know, she could be killed horribly.
 * This bit of Self-Deprecation:

Chick: Honestly it's just my job."


 * Dark!Nella's revenge: "But first, I must strike at the very heart of nerd-dom." By reviewing Tron.
 * "SILENCE!"
 * The Chick's confusion at running into Dr. Block, and Block's Suspiciously Specific Denial that she and Nella are the same person.
 * Especially after Dr. Tease hinted at this in the Roland Emmerich review.
 * Dr. Tease constantly trying to get Dr. Block to drink whatever that stuff in the bottle was.

Newsies
"Chick: Oh my GOD, it's adorable! Oh my god, lookit the baby Christian Bale! Lookit the poonum! Look at the face! OMIGOD! Just tie him up!"
 * "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick. [beat] Newsies." [winces from fangirl screams]
 * Her obvious interest in the young, nubile, flamboyant, adorable men.
 * The Chick descending into squeeing Baby Talk at her first sight of "baby" Christian Bale.
 * Constantly referring to Christian Bale in that Movie as Baby Christian Bale in general.


 * ...wait, what was that last bit?
 * Also her getting squicked out by some of the underage Ho Yay.
 * The frenzied, almost turned on list of how much destruction revolutions really involved, especially when you compare it to the earlier one she did in Anastasia.
 * The gloriously bad dancing to "Seize The Day". Especially Lindsay's grunt of exertion when she tries to do a cartwheel.
 * Original Nella's very wet glomp of Lindsay.

Les Miserables
"Chick: Jew Wario what are you doing here?
 * The whole thing, from beginning to end, especially the massive number at the end bringing together the entire Channel.
 * Her total glee at finally doing a stage musical.
 * Making fun of Katie Holmes's shitty singing in Dawsons Creek.
 * Calling the Liam Neeson version "Les Meh".
 * The Chick annoying the living hell out of Jew Wario with her constant singing.

Jew Wario: This is my house. I live here."


 * How Jew Wario's face twitches before he says "all week". Cut to Lindsay singing, and Je Wario is rocking back and forth and singing as well.
 * The Chick saying Nella kicked her out for some reason and then it cutting to Nella rocking back and forth with an Ear Worm in her head.
 * The few second scene of her as an Emo Teen, listening to Phantom of the Opera and pigging out on peanut butter.
 * Jew Wario's singing Javert's section in the song. Lindsay is clearly trying to stop herself from laughing. It might have had something to do with the fact that Jew Wario forgot how his lines went and threw in a Precision F-Strike on the spot.
 * The song is actually funnier if you know who some of them are playing: the two most screwed up, jerky people there (Chick and Critic) are singing characters who are Messiah archetypes, Obscurus Lupa and Elisa are in a romance, Todd in The Shadows is still the lovelorn woobie pining for Lupa and the self-proclaimed hero (Linkara) is singing about looting dead bodies.
 * The Nostalgia Critic pulling off the Incredibly Long Note in Looney Tunes fashion.
 * Phelous being ridiculously tone deaf but having so much fun with it.
 * Benzaie's appearance after the Crowning Music of Awesome. "It's over already? But... but I'm French! What the fuck? This is bullshit!"

Jem

 * The few seconds of Dark Nella reappearing. The Makeover Fairy and the Chick have to force her glasses on her.
 * Nella and Chick singing about their everyday routines.
 * The Impossibly Tacky Clothes the girls have on.
 * Chick and Nella sulking about how sticky 80s hair is while The Makeover Fairy smiles in a slasher fashion.
 * Calling the show a Hannah Montana/Barbie hybrid.
 * Chick and Nella trying to watch the show (in normal clothes) but getting so bored that the Chick tries to get any remaining beer out of her bottle and Nella gets out a picture book of Frankenstein.
 * "My ability to feign interest... I mean, if you watch my show you know I'm not the best actress."
 * "What the hell kind of name is Jerrica? Is it like the feminine city that the Israelites brought down? Is it like Erica was too boring, let's throw a J on it? Like Jem, so they match?"
 * Her reaction to the first theme song: "I'm sorry, what was her name?"
 * Chick and Nella's "Ohhh" when they find out the show was made by Hasbro.
 * Her fondness towards Transformers coming out again.
 * "Truly truly arbitrary adjective!"
 * Also using the "I don't think it means what you think it means." clip from The Princess Bride.
 * Referring to Stormer as the Misfits' Nella.
 * "I don't think we're going to be seeing any three-hundred-million-dollar Michael Bay tenfold starring Megan Fox this year." [Megan Fox with pink hair in front of an explosion.] "Although, you have to admit, that would be pretty funny."
 * No one can resist laughing at the after the credits clip where they are all just joking around and cracking up.

The Little Mermaid
""Oh, I am so put out!""
 * The disclaimer at the beginning: The opinions expressed in this video are not necessarily the opinions of the people expressing them. Oddly enough.
 * The Chick's smile at the beginning, like she's been waiting to do this for a long while, and then Elisa tackling her and dragging her off.
 * Nella selling her voice for a Doctor Who scarf. And the dog having apparently done the same for a man.
 * The Bad Bad Acting of Elisa's letter.
 * Pretty much the entire review was gold, but Todd in The Shadows' cameo in particular; Chick apparently won't stop calling him and he blows her off. His total obliviousness to his hypocrisy (as he's also ignored by someone) is one of the many things that sell it.
 * The Chick's "D':" face is pretty wonderful too.
 * It also provides a hilarious reason for why the Chick suddenly hates guys. (And for a bit of Fridge Brilliance, if your healthiest relationship with a person of the opposite gender is with a pitiful, ditzy brat who is prone to temper tantrums, then you're kind of in trouble.)
 * The various Digging Yourself Deeper antics of the various female cameos as they try to explain to the Chick why their interest in the film isn't degrading, from Obscurus Lupa's odd mermaid outfit to Marz Gurl proving why she has the Marz in her name. And then there's the Big Lipped Alligator Moment that is Diamanda Hagan...
 * They once again reference the Dune drama, with Pushing Up Roses saying it's a wonder that the Chick got out alive.
 * Nella, as The Voiceless, representing "satisfied" by miming smoking a cigarette.
 * Her sign for "men" is the classic pointer-finger-through-circle sex motion.
 * On facebook, they called her sign language NSL.
 * Seeing the Chick again as a wangsty Emo Teen, this time listening to Limp Bizkit to ease her pain.
 * After the flashback, her asking nervously if Nella and Elisa saw that and the girls scooting their chairs away.
 * The Chick's Oh Crap reaction when she realizes that's Not So Above It All and has just sung "Part Of Your World" along with the other TGWTG fangirls.
 * Does anyone else think she was channeling Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard?
 * During the song, the (changed) pitch of Lupa's voice makes her pretty much sound like a chipette.
 * Twice during the review, the Chick refers to the "inappropriateness of the VHS cover". The first time, she refers to Flounder's cheek and then later, to Ursula looking like a man. Cue Brick Joke in the final seconds: "Is that an erect penis?"
 * Sebastion's Played for Laughs PTSD.

""So do the scales grow up over your boobs if you get fat? Once your BMI goes above a 26? A horrible, fatty, scaly rash to cover your shame, Ursula, you fatty-pig-fatty!"
 * The fact that they're eating fish at this point makes it all the more fun.
 * Lindsay's mini-rant on how Ursula's weight is treated.

"Heh-heh-heh, she's fat.""


 * The stinger, in which Elisa is making her Phantom action figures have a conversation. "I'm the original and the best!" "But I'm the sexy one!"

Grease 2
"Chick: Last year I did a review of the most nostalgic of all of the things, of all of the age-groups, Grease."
 * The Hyperbole and A Half Shout-Out:

"Makeover Fairy: Is he cuuuute?
 * The fact that even after all the Dark Nella saga, Nella's still considered in need of a makeover.
 * Nella reading a book entitled Who Moved My Cheese? while giving the Chick a few well-deserved Death Glares.
 * The Chick's still potent rage over the pregnancy subplot in the first Grease movie.
 * Her Motor Mouth of "Oh and it also made no money and everybody hated it."
 * Correcting herself at the (obviously Australian) lead's Fake Brit-ness.
 * Starting to praise Grease just a little bit before stopping and wanting to go back to the bitchery.
 * The Hypocritical Humor jokes with the script, telling the movie that they have to have a completed one before shooting while changing her lines as she speaks them.
 * Nella and Chick as the people who thought up the movie.
 * Todd singing and playing "I Hate Everything".
 * Chick calling Frenchie a "poor man's Makeover Fairy" and then their own fairy popping in. She even lampshades that she's got to stop doing that.
 * Also Nella's muggy look of terror and disgust, before storming off with an "I DESERVE BETTER!"
 * How the Makeover Fairy suddenly has wings for some reason.
 * This bit of dialogue:

Chick: I don't know..."

"Todd: I hate you."
 * Todd in The Shadows... in lederhosen. The hilarity of this cannot be described with mere words, you must see it.

"Announcer: Yes, man. The thing you base all your decisions around. The thing you change your whole identity for. The thing around you face all major life decisions. Man! They're better than you so why not get one? If you don't have one...
 * Also Pimp!Todd: "I don't feel comfortable wearing this"
 * It was the Phantom outfit that did it for me, particularly the pose he makes.
 * And how he's rather pleased with his Zorro costume. (which kinda counts as a Call Back to Suburban Knights)
 * Nella's wide-eyed shock that the Chick may actually properly like a man. (Instead of, we assume, abusing a few of them for fun.)
 * The return of the "Man" PSA, with a slightly... different twist:

Chick: Hey, hey, we're not stealing that bit too!"

"Fairy: You don't understand! I have to do this! The makeover...it's so brittle! The flaws... the flaws! They have to be hidden! I've gotta do this...for my country! *disapears, then reappears* Of Moldova! *disappears again*"
 * Sexually frustrated, horny as hell Chick needs to happen more often. That was amazing.
 * The rather one-track-minded scrabble game Chick and Nella play. Here's a proper picture.
 * "There is no sport less sexy than bowling. Scrabble is sexier than bowling."
 * John Turturro shows up later to prove her wrong.
 * Followed immediately by sexy slapjack. The facial expressions in particular.
 * The Chick's Death Glare at Nella when they try "sexy dice".
 * The fact that Todd doesn't even remember who the "Nostalgia Chick" is.
 * And his wallet being filled with Lupa pictures, even the cartoon version of her.
 * The Makeover Fairy pulling up Todd's mask and screaming in terror. Of course, we only see her reaction, not his face.
 * Chick making Nella do the dishes by saying she'll be doing it for her country.
 * At the end, when the Nostalgia Chick finds Todd, they both stare at each other in big dramatic moment, "Almost Paradise" playing in the background... and then Todd just pushes past her and leaves.
 * Followed by the Chick sighing happily.
 * "Hey, how do you get to Virginia from here?"
 * When Chick tries to write the Makeover Fairy out of the script.

"Todd: Where am I?
 * The exchange after the Makeover Fairy teleports Todd to her place for his makeover. His panic and her uneasiness over his need for said makeover are hilarious:

Makeover Fairy: You're in my boudoir!

Todd: Who are you?

Makeover Fairy: I'm the Makeover Fairy and you...need a makeover!

Todd: *freaked out* No I don't!

Makeover Fairy: Yes...you do..."

"I mean, it's not that I - of all people - would be obsessed with a guy who's face I've never seen!"
 * The Chick scoffs at the way all the girls fall for Michael's mysterious alter ego:

TLC and the 90's
"Chick: No, no, no! ...wait, weren't there guys in that group?"
 * "Hi, I'm your Nostalgia Chick, and I don't know about you, but I don't want no scrubs."
 * "Nowadays you have to wave through a lot of... idiot." *cut to Usher singing about boobies and the Black Eyed Peas singing about humps*
 * "Gangsta's Paradise is a distant memory". It's the disappointed delivery.
 * Before discussing TLC properly, she makes us think the 90s were dominated by Ace Of Base.

"Chick: 'Cos condoms are funny. When you're a kid."
 * "TLC were my very favorite human entity when I was nine."
 * Shuddering at the other dominating girl group, the Spice Girls.
 * The whole bit about "Mr Jangles The Safe Sex Mouse".

"Nella: I'm adopted. Beat Fo'shizzle!."
 * Listen closely and you'll hear that she somehow got cock-rings too.
 * Also that this when she was a freshman in college.
 * The Chick's asserting that she got tons of booty back then, but then we see her playing with stuffed animals and reanacting Phantom of the Opera.
 * Her "black" friend.


 * And later, the Chick's "I'm not racist, I have a black friend."
 * *cue Nella dancing to Tom Jones*
 * Phelous' reading of the disclaimer card.
 * Nostalgia Chick comparing the lyrics to "Scrubs" to several male TGWTG members.
 * To elaborate, Linkara doesn't have a car, Critic lives with his mother (if you know his show, the Black Comedy of it makes this funnier) and young Film Brain has a kid.
 * The title card: no, don't go chasing waterfalls!.

Top Ten Songs About Sex (From Musicals)
"Todd: Ehh, you know what, I'm not doing anything else right now.
 * Todd pretty much running away when she plays "Reproduction" from Grease 2 as a seduction song, which explains why she's so bitter today.

Chick: [pumps fist] Yes! Mood music!

Todd: You know I gotta go wash my feet or my car or something. *leaves*

Chick: SHIT!"

"Dragon: I am the last one!
 * The Blatant Lies that her recent musical obsession has nothing to do with a certain masked, uninterested man. Also the fact that she's getting seriously pissed at how he's an "ungrateful" prick who doesn't want her love.
 * Calling the war subplot in Hair "subtle" while focusing on a gravestone with Vietnam imprinted right in the middle.
 * About #10, "Sodomy" by Hair: "I've always liked this song, if only for its glorious pointlessness and the looks you always get when you start singing it in public."
 * Her WTF face when they sing about pederasty.
 * Putting in clips from The Big Lebowski. "Eight year olds, dude."
 * Her hatred for Love Never Dies, including calling a cat an "angel of mercy" for deleting a lot of ALW's original script.
 * Changing the dollar sign to the pound sign when she explains why Love Never Dies exists. "Ka-ching!"
 * This Call Back to her Dragonheart review:

Chick: [over a picture of the sequel] No, Sean Connery dragon, you're the second to last one."

"Chick: Yes, hipsters, the most sincere artists alive. They suffer for their art, you know, after they spend all day smoking, being dissatisfied and picking out the most ironic hat."
 * "Who hasn't returned to their virginity-lost partner years after the fact and recounted what went down... in song?"
 * "And I kissed you! ...at least I think it was you."
 * Theorizing that the Phantom had a side career as a hip-hop singer: "Girl you look better with the lights off/Better with the lights off"
 * Comparing "Beneath A Moonless Sky" to the Green Goblin's "Freak Like Me".
 * Her theory about Rocky Horror is that it's basically about a tragic child-molester.
 * Trying very hard not to laugh at the thought of Tim Curry bonking Meat Loaf.
 * Describing Rocky as "Sting from Dune if his brain was a hamster."
 * "Shhh-shh-shh-shh! Don't think about it."
 * Noting that if she didn't put "Toucha Toucha Touch Me" on her list she'd probably get sued by the world.
 * The rage at hipsters, even calling them the most despicable people alive, especially when you remember those glasses she had when she started out and the Granola Girl-ism.


 * "Yes, I was in show choir too, Emmy."
 * The end Credits Gag: "Someday, Todd. Someday."
 * "You're gonna star in my Don Juan fanfic and I'm gonna be Don Juan and you're gonna be my conquest and it's gonna be sexy!"
 * "I have something to take care of. I'll be right back... not like that you perverts."
 * Nostalgia Chick deciding that Todd's mysterious appeal is playing with her heart. So she suddenly appears in Todd's room and declares to him that she's over him. Then Todd offers her a Hot Pocket that he dropped on the floor.

She's All That
"Chick: 90s, come here, we need to talk. You know, sometimes I am genuinely nostalgic for you, sometimes there's a lot of fun stuff going on, but sometimes... you just disappoint me."
 * The beginning when she's trying to be all 90s hip, but finds she can't keep it up.

"Chick: That even the most chubby among us, or the most plain... hmm.
 * Also trying her best to buy into the assumption that Rachael Leigh Cook is an ugly landwhale.

Chick: Paul Walker chooses the most hideously ugly, pockmarked, buttertroll in town.

Chick: And turn this hideous, shleppy ball of clay into a swan."

"FPJ: [taking off RLC's glasses] Your eyes are really beautiful.
 * "Instantly dated by the virtue of its title. I think "All That" was over a good five years before this movie came out, you guys."
 * Calling Freddie Prince Junior a "poor little rich boy".
 * "He makes a bet about whose career will last longer- I mean, that he can take any girl and make her the prom queen."
 * "She fell down! Yeah, how do you work with that?"
 * The Hypocrisy Nod of having your main character be unpleasant, bitchy and mean.
 * This bit:

Chick: Man, if that's not a transparent rape warning I don't know what is!"

"Chick: "I hate that movement [surrealism]! It's so overrated!" So that's why you're mad at him? I guess surrealism pisses me off too. "But what about the romantic movement, huh?""
 * She totally wasn't an awkward dork in high school or anything.
 * Trying to figure out why RLC is so angry.

"Chick: See, this why I try to avoid movies with makeover narratives."
 * The Running Gag of trying to find a tiny violin for all the characters' problems.
 * "Moo with me!"
 * "Oh no, the heartbeat! A bad student film is starting."
 * Snapping her linguini in response to the hackeysack scene.
 * "Look at her horrible, run-down... double wide."
 * "Wigging? Did anyone ever actually say wigging? Well it might have been better if it was wig, those hair extensions aren't working."
 * The Makeover Fairy coming in with a violin and screeching her displeasure about the Chick's pigtails and glasses.

"Chick: [sulking] "Now I can't see.""
 * "Okay, I know nobody ever said 'bump monkeys', unless they were talking about literal monkeys."
 * Oancitizen, Todd and Lupa complaining about how cameos suck while starring in cameos.
 * The Makeover Fairy failing to get sympathy for popular people.
 * Because she disapproves of the Chick wearing glasses, the Makeover Fairy reappears at the last moment and steals them.


 * The 'bitch' poster: "I'm a bitch, vote for me!"

When Harry Met Sally vs. Sleepless In Seattle
"Chick: But I don't think Sleepless In Seattle is a bad movie per se--
 * The beginning, where the camera (later turning out to be Todd) runs away when she says she's finally going to look at Chick Flicks and she tapes him to a chair. Her evil I Have You Now, My Pretty expression is wonderful.
 * How resigned Todd is that this is happening to him.
 * Chick trying to manipulate Todd into going out on a date with her.
 * Todd getting into a state about how he let someone go and the Chick trying desperately not to laugh at him.
 * Her squick over Milk Money.
 * Todd hating Sleepless in Seattle because the main woman is a lonely, creepy stalker. Two-fold because the Chick calls him out on his hypocrisy, but has no inclination that his description matches her to a tee too.
 * The bloopers, where Todd can't say "Seattle" correctly.
 * "Sleepless In Seattle makes my balls shrivel."
 * In voiceover:

Todd: [shouting from another room] I hate it! It's the worst goddamn movie ever made!"

You've Got Mail
"I'll be waiting for my check and free samples, Starbucks. You're welcome."
 * At the start of the review, rhapsodizing about how coffee liqueur offers stimulants and depressants all at once.
 * Followed up during the credits with

"Meg Ryan: Happy = smile! Sad = frown! Use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion!"
 * How she relates to that aforementioned coffee just like women are meant to relate to Meg Ryan.
 * "...that I relate to, so much! She! Is! Me!"

"Evil Businessman: Aww, another independant bites the dust.
 * "You've Got Mail is a two-hour AOL commercial -- I mean, You've Got Mail is the only title more dated than She's All That -- I mean..."
 * Calling French Kiss unabashed woman porn.
 * Her theory that Tom Hanks is Hollywood's fun uncle, the one that gives thoughtful Christmas presents and great hugs.
 * This bit:

Chick: Subtle!"

"Sonic: And that's no good."
 * "This film is about as subtle as those educational videos they made you watch in the fifth grade".

"Chick: Takeadvantageofourintroductoryofferfirstthirtydaysfree!"
 * Doing her own advert for AOL:

"Meg Ryan: Is it infidelity if you're involved with someone through email?
 * All the movie remakes that shouldn't have been existed, including The Stepford Wives, Freaky Friday and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.
 * This exchange:

YES, YOU DUMB BITCH"

"Meg Ryan: Oh right, I'm engaged.
 * The Disposable Fiance. Again.

Chick: Oh right what's-his-nuts."


 * "D-did the Wizard Of Oz just try to commit suicide? That's... dark."
 * Suddenly reacting to the soundtrack by shouting out "WAS THIS CRANBERRIES SONG IN EVERY SINGLE MOVIES DURING THE NINETIES?"
 * The awkwardness that ensues from Dave Chappelle being the Token Black Best Friend and her theory that The Rock would have been better.
 * Tweeting "on her Apple iPhone" to express her distaste at the Disposable Fiance's overreaction to solitaire being "the end of the world as we know it".
 * "Half of you don't even know what dial-up sounds like, you little whipper-snappers."
 * Mocking the Product Placement with a Parody Commercial of her credit card.
 * But that's how romantic comedies work and..."I DON'T CARE IF IT'S NOT REAL, I WANT HIM TO LOVE ME!" And then realizing she's got off-track and trying to change it to being glad the onscreen couple got together.
 * How she almost throws up at the prospect of Nicholas Cage's "O" face in City of Angels.

City Of Angels
"Poster: If the stress doesn't blind her, her degenerative, congenital disease will!"
 * The title card. It must be seen to be believed.
 * Trying to suffocate herself with a plastic bag at "Angels Among Us" by Alabama. Or as she calls it, the worse three musical genres coming together to create the apocalypse of the most mind-bendingly awful song ever.
 * To wit, those three genres are: Contemporary Christian, Modern Country, and Songs About Angels.
 * "Don't question me, my German is flawless."
 * The remake-idea of Dancer in The Dark starring Sandra Bullock.

"Chick: Hope that's not creepy."
 * There's also Citizen Kane being "made" into a late nineties action thriller starring Jason Statham ...which yes, people on the comment sections thought was real.
 * Her version of being "busy" is doodling hearts, music notes and Todd's name all over a notebook.

"Chick: Please don't show me Nicolas Cage before I die!"
 * Todd's killer Nicholas Cage impression.
 * And the Chick trying to do it beforehand. "Wow, girls cannot do a good Nicolas Cage impression. I'm gonna have to outsource this one."
 * Her fistpump when she actually gets Todd to do what she wants for once.
 * Screaming as the little girl who pops it at the beginning of the film.

"Chick: ...so not Disneyland, Nintendo 64 or teddy bears. Pajamas."
 * And mocking her when she says the best part of living is pajamas.

"Nicolas Cage: I always ask people what they liked best about living. This is it. This is what I like best.
 * "In this movie, children are the vessels of purity that can sense the beauty of the angels. So basically they act nothing like real children."
 * "I mean, he did win an Oscar and Oscar equals good, right?"
 * Putting a Downfall Hitler parody in there and giving him the same reaction to the film as Oancitizen.
 * "Hell, a lot of [Wings Of Desire] is just about the heaviness of being German."
 * Making fun of Cage's Informed Attractiveness.
 * Using the "I'm about as anatomically correct as a Ken doll" scene from Dogma.
 * Her reaction to Meg Ryan cutting Cage's hand. "I wanna see your blood!"
 * Again, her sickened reaction to Cage's sex face.
 * This bit:

Todd as Nicolas Cage: Turns out it's sex! Sex is my favorite part of living. Whoulda guessed? And that little girl said pajamas. Man, she didn't know shit!"


 * Anytime Oancitizen comes in: calling her condescending, elegantly explaining "Wings Of Desire", raging at Hollywood for the crappy remake (City Of Angels) while the Chick tries not to laugh at him and throwing things in anger because he always has to explain everything.

Kate And Leopold
"Nella: I'll be in my bunk."
 * Her statement that Hugh Jackman is the most masculine man in show business followed by a bunch of clips of Hugh Jackman being extremely campy in various musicals.
 * The glorious return of Nella, ranting about a Hollywood Homely woman before getting Distracted By the Sexy.

": "...Am I gay?""
 * Critic, Todd and "some random guy" proving her assertion that all guys want Hugh Jackman.
 * Post-credits, we see that Doug sent in a ton of different takes, including one where he says "I'm surprised you didn't get Benzaie for this cameo."


 * The return of the Critic trying very hard to tell himself he only likes boobs and the Chick craving something phallic while "Space Oddity" plays. Then Nella bursts in again and steals her half eaten butter.
 * When Leopold has a confused reaction at The Prisoner, she reassures him: "To be fair, Leopold, I don't get that either."
 * "I mean, who hasn't spied on their ex at night?" [beat] "What?"
 * The whole Inferred Holocaust bit at the end.
 * Nella and Chick's "you've got to be kidding" reaction when they see a Hugh Jackman movie in the works called "Butter".

Cruel Intentions
""who even back then was frustrated that his tour of Tuscany platter has not arrived in a timely fashion."
 * Chick refusing to make out with her puppy.
 * The "John Malkovich as DISSATISFIED customer" Running Gag is again golden.

"my simple request was for a hearty marinara but what I received was meat sauce.""

"Chick: Yeah, well, you're gonna get towed. Have fun at the parking lot! Wish the NYC cops I've encountered acted like that."
 * Noticing that Ryan Phillipe looks like Justin Timberlake and how the latter probably put the former out of a job.
 * When Sebastian parks shittily and the cop doesn't do anything about it:

"Chick: While I and most women would have a hard time figuring out why Mr. "Where's my goddamn salad?" is such a ladies man...""
 * Wondering if Malkovich is capable of a human emotion other than "god, these people".
 * Comparing Malkovich to Colin Firth's version of the character:


 * And then doing a happy faced emoticon whenever Firth seduces someone while putting a confused one whenever Malkovich does the same.
 * Her grossed out reactions at the incesty scenes between Kathryn and Sebastian.
 * Pushing up her breasts when she tells Elisa that they're above gimmicky things like lesbian kissing.
 * In the credits: "We cut the footage of us making out. For time."
 * Her "Awww, Keanu's wooden soul is moved!" line.
 * The Discriminate and Switch with Cecile's boyfriend being "bla-nd" instead of "black".
 * Putting a Take That to bad fanfic writers by making clear the non-differenc between "dub-con" and "straight-up rape".
 * Her clearly-speaking-from-experience rant about how nothing matters in high school and how you can totally reinvent yourself right after, which makes little of what evil stuff Kathryn and Sebastian pulls really matter in the long run.
 * The repeat of someone's body being made out of balsa wood, this Call Back being all the way from her Teen Witch review.
 * Noting the self-righteous tone of the ending: "JUDGE!" "JUDGE!"
 * And noting that Kathryn is technically high on cocaine during this scene. "Spinning Judging Faces All Around Me!"

Maven Of The Eventide - Interview With A Vampire

 * Maven literally choking on her fake Vampire Vords accent.
 * While introducing the film, her tent metaphor gets somewhat lost.
 * "Four of the deepest words ever spoken. *beat* It brought sexy back."
 * "Seriously, vampires are like, so hot right now."
 * The ending, with the Chick demanding Maven -  - stop freeloading and get a job.
 * "I'm going to my coffin...as soon as I can afford one!"

The Lion King (in 3D)
"Chick: Disney."
 * The advertising for the movie breaking her down and her sulking reaction to being made to watch it.

"Chick: [in a "what you gonna do about it" tone] Oh yeah, that's right."
 * "Hell, Snow White was the first movie I ever saw in theatres, and it scared the hell out of me!" The funny of this bit comes from the scene change, from Snow White petting the animals in daylight to the forest terrifying her.
 * "You gotta get it, it's going inside the Disney vault- oh, it's gone. Gone forever, inside the Disney vault."
 * Putting in another Take That to Pocahontas, claiming it as the point where the company went downhill.


 * Blaring the word "NO" when she answers if the 3D adds anything to the film.
 * Simba is looking on to the desolate Pride Lands with a serious expression, as the Chick dubs over "Our property values must be restored!"
 * Talking about the Chase Scene in Aladdin: "In 1992, this was the COOLEST. THING. EVER!"
 * Phelous's voice in the rebuttal portion. That is all.
 * Showing The Thief and The Cobbler when she says it's in Disney's nature to steal stuff.
 * Seamlessly editing the dark, epic parts of The Hunchback of Notre Dame together with the most slapsticky bits in "A Guy Like You" to demonstrate how the gargoyles sucked.
 * "Circle Of Life" playing when random people hold their animals up in the air. Plus, her puppy's "why me" expression when the Chick does it.
 * In the caption at the end of the video, her message to Phelous.

The Worst Witch
"[Chick voicing] Hagrid: You're a Kung Fu Panda, Harry!"
 * There apparently being a law passed that all women have to wear Sexy Whatever Outfits on Halloween.
 * Elisa's costume is a "Sexy Starbucks Manager".
 * Nella bursting in to fangasm over Diane Riggs, raising "so many questions" in the Chick's mind. Bonus points for Nella being dressed as Velma.
 * The Chick muttering about having to do the review before the party can start "Damn job..."
 * Unloved-child-as-The Chosen One:

"Chick: We all need a little curry in our diet."
 * Describing the villain as "Katy Perry in forty years."
 * She somehow manages to make Tim Curry's glorious cameo even funnier.

"I'm here to put a little sausage in this clambake!"
 * "I could make out with myself/that would be pretty keen."
 * Critic's Sweet-Transvestite-like Tim Curry impersonation. Doug is having amazing fun playing up the sexy ham.


 * His Double Take at seeing a skeleton in a bikini.

Shorts: The Goddess of Spring

 * The fact that she was seemed to be sleeping before she popped up to do the review is quite amusing.
 * Her reaction to the animation of the goddess. "Oh, wow, yeah, the jelly bone moonwalk. Fascinating."
 * "Are those her surveillance flowers?!"
 * "Oh, Disney. You and your... dancing flowers. They sure do... take up time."
 * "Oh, it was the Great F*cking Depression, dammit, these people needed dancing flowers!"
 * "Hell's all jazzy, man, you really want to go back up and party with these losers? Your sad bunnies and your sad, sad, arthritic deer what cries very, very subtle tears?"
 * "Satan just wants you to perk up, you frigid bitch!"

Crossroads (with Todd in the Shadows)
"The Nostalgia Chick: Okay so I just hitched a ride with this ex-convict or something and he just happened to be going to this exact spot in the middle of nowhere, Virginia and I remembered that you wanted to review Crossroads...
 * How Lindsay ended up at Todd's house:

Todd: I have to go wash my dog-fish...."

"Chick [as Spears]: Hey, mom! I'm class valedictorian!
 * Her admitting that she threatens anyone who goes into her territory of girly nostalgic crap. Bonus for the Not So Different factor.
 * Chick In The Shadows. And her piano playing is so awful that it convinces Todd to do the review with her.
 * Todd's trauma over still being a virgin in college and the Chick fawning over him.
 * After identifying the car as a 1969 Buick Skylark, cutting the girly singalonging road trip with them having to stop for gas every few seconds.
 * Chick's lesson from the movie being that she needs tighter abs.
 * Followed by Todd asking her to get out of the house... and the video ends just as Lindsay is about to laugh at it.
 * Todd and the Chick reenacting what they imagined the off-screen awkward conversation between Britney Spears' character and her long-lost mother must have been like, complete with comically melodramatic piano music in the background.

Todd [as mom, slowly and utterly deadpan throughout]: I never wanted you. Your father forced me to have you.

Chick [as Spears]: (sobs loudly)

Todd [as mom]: Your father wouldn't let me get an abortion, and you need to leave.

Chick [as Spears]: Would you at least give me a ride?

Todd [as mom]: No, you will walk. Alone. In the rain. (beat) Get moving."

Top Ten Disney Deaths
"Chick: Oh snap! ...literally."
 * The beginning, where Chick tries to read Dune and finds it so dull or confusing that she's better with "How To Reduce Your Carbon Footprint".
 * Chick's totally unconcerned, surprisingly knowledgeable reaction to Nella's sudden need to kill someone with no mess.
 * The complete glee in Nella's voice as she says, "Of course! No one in Disney ever dies a natural death!"
 * Matched by Chick's smiley "I know! It's a veritable treasure trope on horrible ways to die!".
 * Playing the Bambi Mood Whiplash music over the montage of hanging, impalement, gravity, crushing and other fun deaths.
 * When she actually gets to the transition: "La la la la anywaymovingon".
 * After the villain in Tarzan goes:

"Chick: Not to mention all those damn dog musical numbers.
 * "So that's why the Subway's always stopping. Dead dogs on the tracks!"
 * This bit:

Billy Joel dog: Why should I worry? Why should I care?

Chick: Yeah, why should you care? You're not the one driving!"

"Chick: "The colour red...the forbidden city...fireworks...let's combine them". Death by culture. Kaboom!"
 * Her sickened reaction to the Horned King getting ripped into hell and asking for a death that leaves less of a mess.
 * "Rest in peace, y'all get a hat! With a candle in it. Anyway we got a treasure hunt with a million characters to develop!"
 * Commenting on Shan-Yu's death, and saying how the animators seemed to just be thinking of things Chinese.

"Chick: Loan sharking doesn't have to leave a paper trail, but kidnapping? Are you a complete idiot?"
 * Bitching at Sykes for being an incompetent villain and basically giving him advice.

"Chick: Mulan, the only Disney Princess with a body count. In the thousands."
 * Nella asking if she can use the word "egregious" in her letter.
 * When she gets to the biggest example in the "Crushed" Catergory: Mulan defeating the hun army via avalanche.

"Nella: To whom it may concern... The egregious lack of grilled chicken salad in my life is unfathomably redonkulous..."
 * Nella and Lindsay Corpsing at the very end as Nella writes her strongly-worded letter.

Maven of the Eventide: Blade
"Maven: In 1992, Marvel retconned the disappearance on Dr. Strange but it still stings! It still stings."
 * Elisa breaking character when her florid hand gestures hit the set dressing.
 * Using Batman Forever, Steel and Batman and Robin as examples that killed the Superhero movie industry.
 * "What brought us from this [shows Schwarzenegger as Dr. Freeze in his slippers] to this [shows a grubby Hugh Jackman as Wolverine]?"
 * Her smugness as she tells us that we have a Vampire movie to thank for the comic book movies we have today.
 * The accusation that Marvel stopped publishing vampire comics in Elisa's birth year was a personal insult to her.


 * The caption saying "don't blame that pun on me" when the Blade character got "revamped".
 * She scoffs at Blade's handiwork with his sword. "Like that's hard." Cut to Elisa dressed all Matrix-y, trying to do it and failing epically. "Nobody saw that, right?"
 * "Yeah, my name's Blade, and I just so happen to be holding a blade in case you're wondering why they call me that. It's not my iconic sword, but that wouldn't make sense so it's just my s-blade. It's a good thing I had this lying around when I got introduced, otherwise it would have been really awkward, cos I was holding a spatula before."
 * Chick's Mind Screw cameo. Elisa calls her Lindsay like normal, Chick grumpily throws a toy duck at her and leaves because she hates being called "Chick" while not reviewing, Elisa looks confused.
 * The Maven going into how Wesley Snipes insisted the role of Karen be played by a black woman so that they could get away with sexual tension, complaining about how Hollywood seems to have a thing about interracial romance... and then pining away for her forbidden love, Blacula.
 * "I just created Garlic Time."

A Very N'Sync Christmas
"Chick: Oh yeah, they had a Christmas album! Those adorable bastards."
 * The beginning, where she gets into her car and notes with horror that the Christmas music period has begun.
 * Begging NPR to save her after The Christmas Shoes invades her mind again.
 * Her stunned remembrance of N*Sync:

"N'Sync: I never knew the meaning of Christmas / 'Til you came into my life...
 * 1998-era Lindsay in a Troubled Fetal Position, with tie-dye pants and complaining that N*Sync doesn't understand her pain and the Limp Bizkit album isn't even out yet.
 * Continually going off on Lou Pearlman for being a horrible person. "It's like printing money, you creepy fuck."
 * "He's in jail now. But not for the little boy touching or the money schemes, I mean who doesn't do that?"
 * When one of the band members talks about Lou, "trauma face" blares like a siren and her snarking that Rihanna talks about Chris Brown the same way.
 * Some of the lyrics are...interesting.

Chick:...is she baby Jesus?"


 * Her belief that all of the members were dating a navy seal girl at the same time, and wrote a lot of "long-distance relationship" songs because of it.
 * Everything regarding "Under My Tree", from "I wish that Santa could be here to see" to Chick wondering why do it under a tree.
 * "We're going to look at the whole album and get our music reviewer hoodies on."
 * "Yes, enjoy our one camera set-up and internet reviewer-grade green screen!"
 * "Someone's Skyping me on Christmas..."

The Christmas Shoes
"Chick: Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe my heart is a cold, withered, shriveled thing battered from years of repression and alcoholism. Maybe there's something I'm missing, something beautiful in the story about how fleeting life is and how even the smallest token...
 * Her completely frozen smile at the beginning as she introduces the review. The "This Is Gonna Suck and I don't get paid nearly enough" expression is clear on her face.
 * Telling everyone who has never heard of the song that they're just burying their heads in the sand.
 * "Christian music wasn't always awful, right Johnny Cash?"
 * Admitting that she doesn't have the facial muscle control or the acting ability to read the Glurge-filled lyrics, so she hands it over to Patton Oswalt to do it for her. And when he does it, we cut back to her looking frozen again for at least five seconds.
 * "So you'd think that with all this bile and The Christmas Shoes topping every worst of Christmas Songs list on the internet, you'd think the song would slip out of the public consciousness. But no. It's still there, like the ancient candy in your Christmas candy bowl many many years past its expiration date, giving you emotional purple-nurples."
 * Treating it like an advert for an album "with such hits as"
 * cloying emotional manipulation involving cute animals - Dying Mom, Angelic Son.
 * vague inspirational abstraction - Wise Black Man
 * meaningful goodbye no child would say in real life - Badly Written Child
 * and her personal favorite: hollow, thoughtless moral - Protagonist ("I think that's what it is.")
 * This bit of Tempting Fate:

Old guy: Car won't start again? Shoulda bought American.

Chick: [growling and barely able to suppress her rage] Clearly I just don't get it!"

"Blink182-era Lindsay: Leave me alone, Mom, I'm busy! This fanfic ain't gonna write itself. *types* And then Aragorn took Legolas into his masculine—"
 * Noting the irony of sex-scandal-guy Rob Lowe being in a movie marketed towards conservative mothers.
 * How Twelve-Year-Olds treat their mothers in reality:

"NC: Give this kid a twenty, you monster."
 * This gem, from when the unrealistically sweet child reveals to the morally bankrupt man that he brought them lunch:

"The Stinger: Sir, I need to buy this belt. For my Todd, please."
 * ''My heart is a tiny little mini-fridge pumping ice water through veins of stone!"
 * Her obsession with the father's hair plugs, to the point of wondering if they're the whole reason that the family has money problems.
 * Chick decides to buy a drink after finishing the movie, then discovers Todd in The Shadows standing outside the store. Todd laments to Chick that he came up short in buying his dying mother a lottery ticket. Chick subsequently gives her ticket to him, and he happily runs toward his home....


 * "Grandma got run over by a... plot contrivance."

Daria
"Ms. Bitters: Today you will be quized on how to skin a moose."
 * "Greetings. In a slight departure from our usual fare of mocking less than stellar media made by people far too sucessful to notice or care about the ridiculing party..."
 * The short clip from Invader Zim to prove it percieved school and society as a whole as a totalitarian indrustial complex:

"Beavis: Hey, diarrhea, do you, like, get periods?"
 * Saying that Beavis and Butthead displayed unusual optimism in the youth of America:


 * Comparing the MTV of then, with shows that trusted the viewing audience to get the jokes, with the MTV of today, with shows like Jersey Shore.
 * The Irony of this being the best quality thing she's ever reviewed and yet her voice is a dead monotone throughout.
 * Complete with Aside Glance after she says Daria's monotone voice can get annoying at times.
 * The Mood Whiplash at The Stinger of Nella and Elisa bursting in to squee about Magfest.
 * "Enter Helen...like a boss."

Maven Of The Eventide - Vampire Parfum
""Around this time of year, you might be asking yourself what sort of holiday gifts could I get for the vampires in my life. What is something for the season that's perfect for someone who wants to be one with the creatures of the night. If you're really asking yourself these questions... you must be blind."
 * Poking fun at all the vampire merchandising around:


 * "Like skulls? I do! Now you can have one with fangs!"
 * Squeeing and hugging her cuddly vampire before looking guilty and throwing it away.
 * Defensively telling the audience that she had the Nina perfume long before the Twilight perfume came out, she just... kept and didn't open it for a while because it smelled nice.
 * Her defeated tone when she notices even Justin Bieber has a perfume out now.
 * "And the Eu De Toilette is, well... this one is shaped like a tampon."
 * The image of a chocolate vampire (with fangs) and the caption "I prefer the seductive nature of this kinda chocolate."
 * Her OTT, gagging reaction to the perfume. "Okay, okay, that was unfair."
 * When she smells citrus: "I- I've never seen a vampire eat an orange."
 * The subtle You Bastard: "It says vampire, so you'll buy it."
 * Bemoaning that vampires aren't allowed to be horrifying monsters anymore, before showing normal-looking blonde girls with the caption "Yes, these are vampires. Can't you tell?.
 * "When I think of how vampires should smell, oranges and flowers aren't really what come to my mind."
 * "Vampires are dead. And so they should, logically speaking, smell like death."

Top Ten Worst Disney Sequels
"Nostalgia Chick: *evil laugh* Yesss, no more sassy Hot Topic shirts for you, huh?"
 * How she constantly refers to children as "Crotch dumplings."
 * Her visible distress as she tries to come to terms with George Carlin being the voice of the misanthropic ape in Tarzan II.
 * His montage of profane clips ends with a rant about people named Todd.
 * The joy she gets out of seeing Tinkerbell suffer in Peter Pan II: Return to Neverland.

"Nostalgia Chick: Hey little girl, what are you doing being concerned about nazis, bombs and living to see the end of the war? Pixie dust, damn it!"
 * Also, her description of that same movie's broken aesop.

"Haaaaate!... Haaaaate!..."
 * And with the same film, her Freak-Out over the octopus being a rehash of the crocodile from the first movie, but instead of ticking he makes popping noises for no reason.

"Chick: [staring off into space] Best friends...
 * "Oh Ariel, you might be a hypocrite or something."
 * Noting that the plague has apparently wiped out most of the denizens of Paris in The Hunchback of Notre Dame II.
 * When revealing the voice actress for Madeleine, she cycles through a quick list of actresses--except one, which reads simply "Your Mom."
 * The exchange between the Chick and Nella mocking the "best friends" exchange:

Nella: [smiling] Best friends forever!

Chick: And we'll always be friends, won't we...

Nella: Of course! As long as you don't default on your payments!"

"You're a douchebag!
 * Her horrified disbelief when she sees that Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas got a Blu-ray release.
 * Complete with a weak no.
 * When regarding Belle's Magical World: "It's less 'Beauty and the Beast' and more 'The Abusive Odd Couple.'"
 * Her random impersonations of George Carlin, usually right after a Narm-y line.

You're a hunchback!

You're an asshole!"

"Chick: Wow, I sure do have a bad disposition. I think I need to be fixed.
 * When she writes the word "lazy" on the back of an envelope to express her opinion of "The Little Mermaid II"...
 * ...and when she brings the envelope back to illustrate a metaphor explaining the "Atlantis the Lost Empire" sequel.
 * Chick trying to make Todd her damsel.

Todd: You know, this didn't work the first five times you did this, Nostalgia Chick. I need to go to the bathroom.

Chick: (drunkenly singing while holding a teacup in the air) Oh, oh, inanimate object!

Todd: You want me to go to the bathroom in that?"

"Cinderella: And why do they have to keep the castle so dark? And that awful dance, and those boring colours that all look the same.
 * "So where's my blue-ray release?"
 * On the subject of Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True:

Chick: "And why do we have to eat these fine royal delicacies? I wanna eat Oreos!""

Maven Of The Eventide - Buffy The Vampire Slayer

 * While she's holding a stake: "You get the point?"
 * The Record Needle Scratch as the video confuses the TV Buffy with the film Buffy, the latter of which is the one she's reviewing.
 * After a particular bimbo-ish line from Buffy and setting up the joke with a story about her bible studies group, Maven gleefully puts two thumbs up and says "AND JESUS APPROVES!"
 * Her completely straight face when she says she's not kidding about Buff's version of Spidey sense being period cramps.
 * Stuffing her mouth with two lollipops to make herself "doubly sexy".
 * "She flips everywhere she goes! Seriously, what kind of person wouldn't just walk?" *shifty eyed expression*:
 * The Chick asks for the remote, Maven does some pointless flips to give it to her, Chick's deadpan expression doesn't change.
 * Screaming at the Anne Rice Merrick. "Ahh, no! Not that Merrick!"
 * "...Lothus. Lothus." *sings* "One of these things is not like the other!"
 * Mocking how Lothus plays the electric violin without it even needing to be plugged in.
 * Giving a Long List of the various Plot Holes of why Lothus is deciding to wake up now, a few being that the era of valley girls is just a little less decadent than the seventies or eighties, it wouldn't tempting to ancient evil and he should have already taken over the world.
 * The Stinger, with her wishing her lollipops tasted like blood.

Top Five Least Awful Disney Sequels
"Chick: Problem with the word "best" is that it implies "good" or "warrants existing"."
 * "Because people love lists, they love Disney and they love the word 'worst'. Imagine that."
 * Her response to the fans wondering what she thinks the best Disney sequels are.

"Chick: I give you the Top! T- Five! ...least awful! [finishing off lamely] Disney Sequels."
 * "After hours upon hours of slogging through this mess, I thought I could give you a best list to counteract the worst list but honestly? I don't think I can."
 * "Let's just say that before Lasseter took over, it was a dark time."
 * Choking on the word "nice", before settling before "less mean".
 * The return of the parodied This Is Sparta from last time:

"Scar: Oh, I shall practice my curtsey."
 * "Why only five? 'Cos I- I can't."
 * Her dilemma between a "shitty follow-up to a good movie" and "a somewhat less shitty follow-up to a shitty movie".
 * Reasoning from the historical accuracy of Pocahontas, her Disneyfied concept for The Diary of Anne Frank, complete with talking mice, musical numbers, and a happy ending. Something like this.
 * Wincing when she has to give credit to The Lion King II for being less awful than most of the sequels.
 * Her theory that the lesser number of animals arriving for Kiara's lifting was because they had to repopulate after Scar's drought.
 * "But like so many of these, it's a touch... fan-ficcy."
 * "Why didn't Scar sire any cubs? Is it because he's gay, or sterile, or gay? Or is it 'cause he's gay?"

"Chick 1: Look! A ham sandwich!
 * Imitating the reaction to the new baby being a girl:

Chick 2: Hehe, it's turkey.

Chick 1: Ohhh. Turkey! Oi."

""Yeah, I remember really digging this!""
 * Pretty much the entire bit right before and then during the beginning of her talk about Return of Jafar, especially when she reveals that Iago got two songs. Her voice just drips This Is Gonna Suck.
 * On the "plot thread" in the Atlantis sequel: "I have no fucking idea."
 * Her joy at Andy Dick's character dying in Lion King 2, calling it like a back massage and rewinding the clip to watch it a few more times.

"Chick: Damnit, now you got me doing it."
 * Pointing out Poca's hypocrisy at the bear-baiting when she took a cub away from its mother in the original movie.
 * When Jasmine punches the guard for ruining her wedding, the Chick adds in Elizabeth's "try wearing a corset" line from Pirates.

"Chick: Yeah, I know it didn't make any sense. What are you gonna do, watch the credits? [Cut to credits.]"
 * The ending, with her exhausting the only "it's funny because you've heard of it" references the Genie didn't make in Aladdin III. "OF COURSE", "You can't handle the truth!" and "I see dead people".

"Aladdin: All right!
 * Phelous guest turn as Gilbert Godfried. That is all.

Chick: Radical!"

N Chick Shorts: Betty Boop In Minnie The Moocher

 * The entire short for her showing just how fast she can talk.
 * Seguing from an impression of Cab Calloway's singing to "Hi! It's another short from the early days of animation."
 * Explaining Betty Boop's appeal with how she was a mix of virgin and flapper.
 * Important words like "The Rotoscope" and "Prohibition" being said in her She Ra style By the Power of Grayskull voice.
 * Calling the Rotoscope "one of the most oft-utilized animation tools besides pencils. And ponies."
 * The caption "Apparently I'm the only person alive who doesn't like Ralph Bakshi".
 * On a horse scene in the animated Lord of the Rings, about telling the difference between rotoscoping and not rotoscoping: "This? I-I don't know what the hell this is."
 * Even though two clips before she stated that it wasn't rotoscoping.
 * "It's not bad enough we're in a depression, we can't even drink ourselves to sleep?"
 * Having no idea what Betty's boyfriend is, giving the choices of dog, mouse, marmoset or capybara.
 * "What does this song have to do with me running away from home? I haven't been kicking any gongs around."
 * Her reaction to some of the weird images in the song. "Nursing ghost cats? What does that have to do with anything?"
 * Calling 1920s-considered jazz the "evil vessel in which the Devil delivers his sin grenades".

What Women Want
"Helen Hunt: They want to empower women.
 * Giving the pitch of the movie before ending with "And he's an ad exec. That's not overdone, is it?"
 * Calling it a film with just slightly less insight than the not-well-known "What Humans Wants", which was written by the Great Gazoo.
 * Giving her own Product Placement of crisps and alcohol while wondering why there are so many ad executives in movies lately.

Chick: Especially the twelve year old indonesian women who made those shoes."

"Gibson: I can hear what women think.
 * Snarking on the sexist premise:

Chick: You know that same thing that men do? Have opinions? Women do it too!"

"Chick: You know I'm a total bigot who's all about generalizations, but even I don't buy this."
 * Thinking the movie's ended with him dying in the "electric women soup" and noting that Family Matters seems to be starting instead.
 * Theorizing that the two women he can't hear the thoughts of, are secretly men.
 * Her At Least I Admit It/Even Evil Has Standards moment at the Sassy Black Woman scene:

"Todd: Lupa... Lupa... Lupa... sandwich... Lupa..."
 * "Buy these shoes! They appreciate you and they don't think that you're fat."
 * Chick recreates the premise of the movie by electrocuting herself in a bathtub full of guy things. Which include chicken wings, a burger, Coors Light, and a copy of Maxim. The last of which began to melt shortly after filming.
 * The thoughts of the male TGWTG reviewers.


 * Bonus for the Chick finally falling over in frustration and the situation looking like she's kidnapped him again.
 * Linkara keeps thinking about how awesome he is... except when he's being grappled by Mechakara's hand. Then, he's thinking he should've gotten dinner at Arby's.
 * The Rap Critic has the lyrics to "Ass" going through his head... though he temporarily breaks away to think about the role of racism in modern America.
 * While brushing his teeth.
 * After all this, the Chick decides she's going to start objectifying men less, thereby respecting them more. No less than a second later, she bursts out laughing at the very idea.

Top Ten "Hottest" Animated Guys
"Chick: Weirdos."
 * The title card. It has Chick in a nightclub setting surrounded by Beast, Nightcrawler, Hades, and Megamind, all of them dancing around her shirtless.
 * Imitating the common reason why Jessica Rabbit is so popular with her hands quite a long way from her chest.
 * The quick tease-and-jab at Gadget furries.

"Chick: He has a tortured backstory!"
 * Telling the audience to please feel free not to point out that there are outliers in every generalization.
 * Lying through her teeth that she likes "real men", before cutting to Todd singing Katy Perry and eating junk food. And other than that, all the Jerkass Woobie boys she's had the hots for would beg to differ.
 * "And the show really isn't about me... okay it is about me..."
 * The preteen-like version of the title: The Top Ten "Hottest" Animated Guys!!1! <3
 * Complaining that almost nobody voted for Dean from The Iron Giant: "I don't get you people."
 * Her utter horror and revulsion at the fact that Frollo made it onto the list.
 * And trying desperately to force the choice into making sense: "Also, he kills people. He's a bad boy!" *awkward, kinda scared smile*
 * "Mmm-hmm, I bet that seventy year old withered body is buff under those billowing judge robes."
 * Finally theorizing that he could be considered "hot" because of the scene where he has his old captain whipped. Especially funny if you remember her telling the Queen in the "Top Ten Disney Deaths" to throw the huntsman's body on the wall as punishment.
 * "...someone to blackmail you sexually..."
 * Chick, Elisa, and Nella bursting out into "I'll Make a Man Out of You."
 * Chick has  fanart.

"Chick: We have a thief, a con-artist, a thief-slash-womanizer, a loud, violent, literal monster, and...nice glasses, I guess."
 * Trying to figure out the appeal of Darien, before admitting that she has no idea what Sailor Moon is about.
 * Then chalking the appeal up to his Brainwashed and Crazy phase, as All Girls Want Bad Boys.
 * Breaking down the top five guys.

"JO: Ugh, I can see the obituary now. "Cause of death: Digimon Tamers.""
 * Jesu Otaku's cameo, especially if you follow her.

"Chick: Basically, we're all adult children of alcoholics and want to change you.
 * Elisa fangirling over Goliath and Nella's even more frantic fangirl outburst over Thomas. Not to mention the Chick's various "Oh God, why me" faces through their squeeing.
 * On the fact that the list is composed almost entirely of All Girls Want Bad Boys and I Can Change My Beloved

Chick: What do we like more than a big masculine crusader for justice? A project!"

"Anime! It exists...I guess."
 * The Chick's entire expertise on Japanese animation:


 * Nella: "I DON'T JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR SEXUAL AWAKENING, DO I? DO I?" (Lindsay struggles to keep a straight face and fails.)

Song Of The South
"Chick: There's a difference."
 * Sitting down to watch the film because there's nothing she loves more than being offended by stuff Disney made sixty years ago ...and like ten seconds later she's fast asleep and snoring. And twitching is apparently regular thing for her 'cause she does that too.
 * "Song of the South is offensive because it perpetuates the stereotype that black people are boring".
 * Doing the film because February is National Pet Dental Health Awareness Month, and a dog features heavily in the movie.
 * Which is followed up in the closing card: "Oh, it's Black History Month, too? What are the odds."
 * Motor Mouthing over the uncomfortable racial aspects of Birth of a Nation and The Jazz Singer.
 * "Bup bup bup, get away from those comment boxes, I know this takes place after the civil war."
 * Making a point of how difficult it is to believe that Walt Disney actually possessed human emotions.
 * Only being able to call the child protagonist "this" at first.
 * One of her criticisms of the Saturday Night Live sketch is correcting them in how Walt didn't hate the blacks, he hated the Jews.

"Chick: Oh, so we're not allowed to say that either?
 * Nella dressed up like a maid and covering up the Chick about to say "Magical Negro" with her Hoover.

Nella: [in a posh accent] Whatever do you mean, "we"?"


 * At the end, she makes an impassioned speech about Disney could release the film to educate people of the cultural norms of that time. It then cuts to the boys watching the clock, and then back to her being deep in sleep again.
 * "This film is a boring part of our history, and Disney needs to acknowledge it."
 * "Hoof hoof hoof".

Maven Of The Eventide - Underworld
"Lupa: Hey Lisa, what's up?
 * "The 2003 film Underverld. [normal voice] I mean, Underworld."
 * Claiming that the origin of the vampires vs. werewolves idea is Abbot And Costello Meet Frankenstein.
 * "Where's my Bat-phone?"
 * "Call...the she-wolf." ]
 * Maven's sustained belief that Obscurus Lupa is a werewolf (and the Hypocritical Humor that results.)

Elisa: Sh! Call me Maven, as ze night envelops us!

Lupa: ...okay..."


 * Lupa's lame comebacks, with more at the end.
 * The montage mocking the gratuitous sound effects, which ends with the Maven staring at a bunny... and it moos.

The Adventures of Milo and Otis
"Chick: Yeah... maybe this makes sense in Japanese."
 * The beginning where she's d'awwing over a youtube video of a baby panda sneezing.
 * Comparing cats to girls who bitch about you behind your back at the office.
 * After showing the cat being thrown off the cliff for the first time, "well with that in mind, let's throw ourselves right in! ...geddit?"
 * Her confusion at the Contemplating Our Navels narration in the original film.

"Nostalgia Chick: [sings in a silly voice while making Kali dance] I'm a puppy dog and I'm okay/I sleep all night and I sleep all day..."
 * All the bits with Kali, with the poor thing dressed up like a princess.


 * And this happens every time she wants to fob off the awkwardness, like after hearing that thirty kittens died from being thrown off a cliff.
 * The montage of pug footage, demonstrating the breed's abject lack of dignity.
 * "F*&@ING ROCKS"

The Lorax
""What? Yeah, that's right. Oh, what? What, fanboys? You wanna fight?""
 * The title card has the Chick chasing the new Lorax down with an axe.
 * If you remember the VLog where Lindsay calls X-Men III the point where the Chick and her hate of everything was born, the Chick saying she gave up on the futile endeavour of fan loyalty long ago.
 * She liked the Hitch Hikers Guide to The Galaxy movie:

"Boy: A thought? About what?"
 * Visibly groaning at the "that's a woman?" joke, that plays after her "change is necessary" speech.
 * "...where do I begin? Well, obviously in rhyme."
 * "But really, who wants to watch some noxious dilettante keep up a review all in rhyme, obviously I can't. So here's the part where I stop playing the bard, as we take a look as to why this movie sucks so hard."
 * "Okay I'm done, I promise."
 * "So before we get to why the 2012 remake is the most hateful-awful thing that ever existed..."
 * Her confusion about the boy in the 1972 version:

Chick: Yeah, who are you?"

"Granny: Far outside of town where the grass never grows...
 * Having to take the time to think of that word (which is "good") to describe the animated short that she grew up with.
 * Getting disproportionately pissed off at a line-change:

Chick: "Grass never grows?" What's wrong with gricklegrass, grammy? Hey! Hey, Betty White, as the only good thing about this movie I demand that you answer me. What's wrong with gricklegrass? Why did you change that line, movie? Did it not test well?"

""My factory is literally powered by baby seal blood and hate.""
 * "Disproportionately"?
 * Sulking that she doesn't like the Once-ler having a face.
 * "Most of the portions with the Once-ler and the Lorax--that which takes up most of the animated short, by the way--are devoted to their Bromance." She just sounds so disturbed when she says it.
 * "WHAT FRESH BULLSHIT IS THIS"
 * Chick's "creative" subtitles for the Once-ler's Villain Song. "I just ejaculated crude oil onto an egret."


 * When rhyming at the end about how to deal with the awfulness of the movie, the way she totally perks up when alcohol is mentioned.
 * Her "I knew this would happen!" reaction to the new Pretty Boy Once-ler being made a Draco in Leather Pants by fangirls.

Sister Act
"Sister Jesus Mary Joseph bearer of Perpetual Guilt: It's not like I walked your dog all those times you ran off to stalk Todd in hopes of fornication.
 * The beginning has Nella doing the Chick's dishes again, complaining bitterly about how she was forced to watch both versions of The Lorax ("you made me care!") and after all that, she wasn't even in last week's review.
 * And true to form, the Chick's totally disinterested and messing around on her phone.
 * All of Nella's passive-aggressiveness. "You know what? Fine. Fine. Go do your little review. I'll just do your dishes for you. That you left in my sink. Again. I mean it's not like I'm getting paid for any of this, or letting you use my cable or letting you wash your clothes in my washer and dryer..."
 * The dramatic sting when the Chick realizes that Nella's trying to break her with... "Catholic guilt".
 * And the end of the episode when she realizes the only effective countermeasure... "Catholic shame". Done with a reference to The Room.
 * Nella pretending to be a nun named "Sister Jesus Mary Joseph bearer of Perpetual Guilt." With an Irish-sounding accent.
 * Chick's obsession with Todd gets a bit more extreme:

Chick: It's not fornication if we were married in a former life!"


 * "Urban gangsta flava!"
 * "Now now, nun of that." So they're okay when you do them, Chick?
 * After Delores tells the class she's going to make them a choir, Chick assumes that's her answer to everything and asks if she's going to do the same with Al Gore and Ugandan kid soldiers.

Der Fuehrers Face
"Chick: MACH SCHNELL, more shells! The truly horrible stuff Hitler did? Eh, whatever; Pink Elephants number!"
 * When Bugs Bunny gives a bomb to a offensive Japanese stereotype: "Why, Bugs, you... racist."
 * The return of her hate for Michael Bay, setting up that America would never do military propaganda these days and then playing a clip from his Transformers movie that comes across as an advert to enlist.
 * After pointing out that making propaganda cartoons about concentration camps certainly wouldn't have been an option:


 * The credits line, with her feeling nostalgic for Germany and their beer.

Baby Whatever; Nostalgic Baby Dolls
"Lindsay: That's a terrible surprise!"
 * The start with Chick on the couch, surrounded by dolls and looking like she's in her own personal hell.
 * "Shopping" coming up multiple times in the list of what girls are supposed to like.
 * Her sickened expression at the kissy slurpy noises the doll makes after she "fed" it.
 * The return of teenage!Lindsay. She's sitting at the top of the stairs and lets Baby Tumble Surprise go down them. Her face fades into trauma as the baby crashes on the floor.

"Kyle: She only keeps me around because I'm funny when I hurt. I am the punching bag that laughs."
 * Also, the loud thumps it makes when its head hits the floor.
 * Much worse, it's not supposed to be the doll. She's just said that the Baby Tumble Surprise could give older sisters the wrong idea about baby resilience.
 * Nella's ultra-girly pink ribbons when her hair is in Girlish Pigtails.
 * Finally finding a use for Baby Tumble Surprise; braining Oancitzen with its weighted head.

"Dan: This is why Mommy drinks!"
 * All of her ideas for baby dolls, but especially "Baby Scarred-For-Life".
 * And Baby Collic, with the children's reactions to its constant crying:

Maven Of The Eventide - From Dusk Til Dawn

 * Knocking over a skull with her florid hand gestures and apologetically kissing it better. She's named it "Sparkle".
 * Calling Showgirls an underrated art film, as a Call Back to the Chick's desperate attempts to convince herself of that.
 * Using duct tape as a sling (from her pained expression it doesn't seem to work), waxing her legs, cleaning a very confused Mignon and whitening her teeth right after.
 * "Maybe I could make a bigger snake out of duct tape..."
 * Returning to this gag later: "You can't blame him any more than you can blame a puppy for using all your duct tape."
 * "Nooo, not the disco ball of death! Why did we install that again?"

The Chipmunk Adventure
""Still got that penis!""
 * The Critic opening up the review in a convention and stating that he's hiding from his fans. When the Chick comes in doing the same thing, they get into an argument over who can out-review the other which the Chick tries to lead into a song - which the Critic refuses because that would be silly and pointless.
 * It turns into a Running Gag, as it turns outs she's already prepared the words.

""I got that picture took with my penguin family at Penguin Sears!""
 * Chick opening up her stolen Todd hoodie to give us a censored flash of her boobs, and Critic lifting up his shirt to do the uncensored version of the same.
 * Chick's lying about "my academic credentials that I never bring up because I'm so modest!" It's a wonder Critic could keep a straight face.
 * Critic thinking the villains are lovers. They're really siblings, much to Critic's disgust.
 * Even funnier when you remember the original plot of the first "Thanks For The Feedback" was Chick and Critic having sex, then finding out they're brother and sister.
 * Continuing on from Moulin Rouge, Chick breathing faster like she's turned on when Critic has a mini-tantrum.
 * The way the Critic keeps up the same cheerful and positive tone even as he says the Chick has "gone rogue", isn't doing the job they hired her for and stopped returning their calls about it. The way his eyes are tearing up adds to the Stepford Smiler vibe he always makes so entertaining and/or woobie-like.
 * "Nothing but good things can happen here. I'm sure it will be nothing but respectful."
 * The Chick and Critic losing it when the baby penguin has a heart shaped locket of its parents


 * "He's going to do business in... Business Land."
 * "Meet me in Europe City, the capital of Europe."
 * "...getting a kidnapped penguin back to Antarctica City."

Freddy Got Fingered
"Kyle: It's too normal to be Dada! It's too shit to be anything else!"
 * Both Nella and Lindsay's reaction to the film (involving screaming, mayonnaise sprays, and sausages)... and discovering Oancitizen in a similar state!
 * Their method of getting him out of it? Having him sing something from Les Misérables! And he appropriately responds by singing "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables."

""Lindsay": That's for Nickelback!"
 * Nella has to briefly scream for a while before she's worked her way back to speaking again.
 * Also how forcedly happy they were while on the phone to him and trying to fob off the movie as an art-piece he'd love.
 * Chick admitting under pressure that she was a stupid thirteen old who voted for Tom Green's awful song to make it in an MTV competition.
 * They play Moonlight Sonata over the scene where Gord is giving a handjob to a horse. Why is this fitting and funny (even if probably done unintentionally)? Because it's Ask That Guy's theme.
 * "This has to be the second worst thing I've seen involving a newborn baby. The first is this" Cue teenage!Lindsay's doll thumping down the stairs. hottip:*:[[Don't Explain the Joke moment: in case you don't know, the expected answer is NEWBORN PORN!
 * Chick valiantly trying to explain the purpose of the Dad getting showered with elephant spunk.
 * The conclusion that "Canada must be punished", followed by Phelous and Luke Mochrie being spanked.


 * Phelous' "could not give less of a fuck" expression interposed between Oancitizen's manic, wide-eyes and clenched teeth.
 * And Luke's Woobie tears while Chick multi-tasks by drinking a beer and whipping his behind.
 * Lindsay adds even more funny in the commentary when she hopes that Luke's dad watched it and wondered why a crazy woman was hitting his son.
 * And the blooper reel, which has him pleading for her to at least give him some of the whiskey. Meanwhile Phelous is being wailed upon and saying "I'm responsible for all of that, huh?", smirking.
 * Then there's the leadup, where Chick describes how "impotent" she feels while holding a floppy sausage between her fingers... which Oancitizen lifts erect when he suggests their revenge.
 * Giving a credit to everybody else they forced to watch the movie.
 * Somehow, Kyle's less traumatized observations stand out as hilarious in this, simply because of the fact that he notices these things despite everything else that happens. Examples:
 * Pointing out that they used an African elephant despite setting a scene on the Indian subcontinent.
 * Noting that, despite being Canadian, Tom Green has an American flag superimposed over his face at the end.

Men In Black

 * Her sophisticated, snobby opening about the brilliance of Will Smith turning into a Waxing Lyrical usage of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme tune.
 * Elisa immediately correcting her from offscreen that she can't do a Will Smith month because May's already half over.
 * "Hang on tight, I'm going to praise something for once."
 * And her outburst of rage when she switches from calmly praising the first movie to ripping apart the second.
 * Comparing the sequel to getting kicked in the labia.
 * "...I'm making a positive comparison to Transformers 2. That's like making a positive comparison to backne."

Wild Wild West
"Chick: Uh...Welcome to earth! [PUNCH!]"
 * The beginning keeps up the pretentious Meaningful Meaningless Words from last week, along with Elisa trying to get her help for the spring cleaning and Chick bullshitting her way out of it.
 * The part where Will Smith shows off his dong keeps playing over and over...until we see her with the remote, rewinding and replaying it.
 * Admitting that the total bigot in her finds the racist/ablest fights between Smith and the baddie amusing.
 * The ending, where Elisa finds an old scrapbook of the Chick's filled with pictures of Will Smith. The Chick quickly denies having a crush on him in the past. Elisa then comes back with a diary with a picture of Will Smith lovingly tucked away, which causes the Chick to knock her out.


 * Her frustration when she learns she can't say "midget".

Maven Of The Eventide - Dark Shadows
"Maven: Lind-say...
 * Maven trying to hypnotize the Chick into forgetting about Todd. Needless to say it doesn't work.

Chick: [utterly unimpressed]"


 * Maven and the Chick roleplaying as Johnny Depp and Tim Burton respectively. Chick actually gets pretty into it until she accidentally knocks her beer bottle on Maven's head.

Will Smith Was A Rapper, Once...

 * Todd's new ringtone for the Chick is "Maneater" by Hall And Oates. Fitting.
 * Her angry sulk when Todd basically tells her where to go and she's forced to do a crossover with The Rap Critic.
 * Chick remembering the From Justin To Kelly review as Todd making her watch the movie instead of the other way round.
 * The review concludes with Chick and RC mentioning The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. What most (including Rap Critc) might have expected was a duet of the iconic theme song, but Nostalgia Chick... imitates Carlton's goofy dance to the old Oprah theme. Rap Critic responds by schooching away to the side as Chick just continues dancing for a few more seconds. And she's wearing Elmo pants.
 * Chick tries to weasel out of the crossover by saying she wanted to review Will Smith's romantic comedies, only to find the Rap Critic is perfectly happy to talk about those, too.
 * The Rap Critic repeatedly ruining Chick's Outside Jokes, causing her to rant that it's all she has in the way of humor this episode.
 * "I have not now, nor have I have ever fawned over some guy. With that in mind, let's use this week's episode as an excuse to call our favourite music reviewer, Todd..."
 * "Imagine if I Robot had a tie-in rap single." No, let the Rap Critic simulate the horror.

Specials, commentaries, etc.

Thanks For The Feedback
""And who is this guy who's been filming us this whole time? Is he your helper monkey? GET OUT!""
 * The first episode of Thanks For The Feedback has her following up on the suggestions of one reader by going on a date with The Nostalgia Critic, which turns into one of the funniest, most awkward dates ever.
 * "Lindsay" playing a much more smug, egotistical version of herself at the beginning, calling her show a phenomenon.
 * Her extremely creepy, Stepford Smiler look at the camera in the opening credits.
 * The Face Palm-worthy comment she reads at the start; they both have nostalgia in their names so they should date! Belligerent Sexual Tension and her making him preggers? Those mean nothing. And by her deadpan reading of it, you get the idea that she's thinking that too.
 * Chick being totally oblivious to both the Critic's crush and asking where people get this from, even after all that happened in the Fern Gully review.
 * Chick going into a mumble when she explains why she doesn't find Critic attractive. You could make out something about his beard.
 * Chick's almost frightened Death Glare when Nella says she and Critic have a lot in common, followed by Nella almost immediately backtracking.
 * Finding out that she's a total shut-in whose idea of fun is watching and bitching at the My Little Pony movie over and over.
 * Finding out that the Critic is so socially awkward that he can't do a meal any more complicated than cereal.
 * "This is a fork."
 * The different take of Critic having a total breakdown over the awkwardness.

"Chick: Maybe I'm the sheltered one, but I've yet to see a pregnancy that spills out the side and the back. ...and is pillow-shaped."
 * The whole frigging thing is hysterical in hindsight if you remember the extreme amount of Ship Tease Critic/Chick got pretty much every time after this, not to mention Doug and Lindsay admitting that it's totally intentional.
 * In the second TYFTF, her disgusted expression at the healthy food she has to eat while Nella enjoys whatever she wants is pretty damn funny.
 * Nella being a "Best Fat Friend" instead of a "Best Friend Forever".
 * From the third "Thanks For The Feedback", the Chick cheerfully says that her New Year's resolution is to get Nella to do her dishes. Even funnier since Nella's resolution (set to "Auld Lang Syne" on kazoo) was to not judge others on their appearance and to treat her friends with more dignity and respect. And ALS is still playing when Nella's unhappy in the kitchen.
 * Lampshading the idiots who thought she was pregnant in the beginning of "NChick Labs":


 * Nella bursting in with a gleeful "HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!", only to find that Lindsay (and Mignon) is the only one there.
 * The montage of trying on outfits, including a catsuit, and getting depressed at all of them.
 * "Of course, physical exertion of any kind is always going to be a hard sell."
 * Food Is Tasty.
 * Lindsay struggling not to laugh when Nella agrees. "Food is tasty."
 * "This doesn't make me look like a jackass, does it?"
 * Nella doing the yoga pose and trying vainly to reach the snacks. "You're swaying a little. Use your core muscles to steady yourself".
 * On the ski part of the Wii Fit a bunny is standing on the board and when its supposed to launch the bunny rises on its hind legs.
 * Lindsay casually wiping her cheese-encrusted fingers on Nella's arm.
 * The epic Wii Fit Flame War between Lindsay, Nella, and their "flat-chested" roommate, all while the soft "It's A Sin To Tell A Lie" is playing.
 * One word: "Gunt".
 * The fact that Tammy is still hanging upside down from the Hercules Drinking Game.

Lindsay's Top Ten Guilty Pleasure Movies (of shame)
"Lindsay: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry... I don't know how to justify this one. I'm sorry! [...] When it came out I knew it was a bad movie, I'm like wow this is bad, and I understand like it's ugly, and it's padded, and it's hammy, and it's weird and it's forced and it's painful to watch and it has all these awful awful contrived characters and it has terrible performances a-and oh my God, it's so bad, it's so bad you guys. It's such a terrible movie! But if it's on TV I will watch it! From start to finish! I don't know why! I can't help it! I- just, it's such an awful movie and I- I just can't look away. I can't not watch it."
 * The transition music is the "Guilty Pleasures" song from the Moulin Rouge review.
 * For Battlefield Earth, she goes to tilt her camera for an intentional Dutch Angle.
 * Her clear terror regarding how the Michael Bay Transformers movies are this generation's Star Wars in terms of the way they've changed film-making.
 * Tearfully saying she's sorry about ten times for putting The Grinch as her number one guilty pleasure.
 * Her entire section on it needs to be here:


 * "Splash that water bitch!"

Dune iRiff
"Spoony: Your feet taste like sour kraut.
 * Her Dune iRiff with Spoony starts off with her very nice and very calm, but we find out she broke into his house, zapped his lower jaw with a stun gun and tied him up at her feet, only letting him free when he promises to be useful.
 * This bit, which you just know is innunendo for something:

Chick: I didn't use that sock on my feet.

Spoony: What?!

Chick: Nothing!"

"Spoony: [whining] I really can't feel my hands or feet anymore. Can you loosen these knots?
 * When she finally lets him go:

Chick: Okay, but only if you're useful or funny... gotta make some money of this, baby, those mortgage payments aren't gonna pay themselves."

"Spoony: Dune is one of my favorites. I can recite the whole thing by heart.
 * "Because I don't feel like sitting through another half hour of narrated pixel sketches."
 * Spoony not getting that Alan Smithee is not another person seperate from David Lynch.
 * How she still can't resist calling him a lonely manchild and how he's only there for the "fanboy perspective".

Chick: Yes. I know. You do. Often."

"Movie: The beginning is a very delicate time.
 * Spoony wanting David Lynch to do a new Star Trek movie while the Chick just moans in response.
 * Most of the Double Entendre jokes come from Lindsay. This one is great:

Chick: So use KY warming gel."

"Paul: What do you call the mouse shadow on the second moon?
 * Spoony: "The spice expands other things too, hi-oh!"
 * Spoony: "I am Princess Monotone Exposition."
 * Chick: "Stop trying to fade me out, I'm giving a monologue here."
 * Spoony: [singing] "Duuuune, where's my car?" Chick: [singing] "Oppreeeessive score."
 * Spoony: "This is a visual metaphor for my sex life."
 * Spoony: "I miss the rains down in Africa." Chick: "Clearly this place does too."
 * Chick: "Okay, we got the guitar, now bring in the didgeridoos."
 * Spoony: "So do you think this is a desert of some kind?"
 * Also from the Dune riff - the introduction of a running gag:

Chick!Stilgar: Well, we call it "Impotent McLimpdick."

Spoony!Paul: Well okay maybe not that one, what else?

Silgar: We call it Muad'Dib.

Spoony: Which *means* "Impotent McLimpdick.""


 * Spoony telling the Chick that she's pervier than he is.

Corpsing: A Tribute To Bad Internet Acting
"Doug: I'm saying things to make you look tough and intimidating...but your bad acting will spoil the effect and make you look stupid. Just look at that smirk, she wants to smile!" *LINDSAY TACKLE*"
 * All that giggling is infectious. Especially on the "Linking Up With Linkara" bit, where she's laughing so hard that Rob Walker has to tell her to breathe.
 * As is usual for them, she and Doug bounce off each other wonderfully.
 * Especially Doug using his creepy voice from the Bratz review to say silly things: "Gobble dee gobble dee do, hooty hooty who." "I'm a little teapot, short and stout." "Did you know I'm the very model of a modern major general?"

"Doug: There was a young girl who was a starfish."
 * Just beforehand:


 * The first take has her coming in to see him rubbing his chest. Even more amusing when you know that usually leads to naughty funtimes from Doug.
 * Acting like jumping little kids playing Tag: "Got him!" "Now I look for you!" They're adorable.
 * Elisa: "Don't you know she [Lindsay] can't act?"
 * Nella: "Damnit, Lindsay, this is serious! Serious Business!"
 * Lindsay using Nella's ample bust as a handrest.
 * The way the music gets more and more frantic as more people break down laughing.

Gallery Of Ancient Horrors: AIDS And STDs

 * Her self-deprecating captions were sporfle-worthy.
 * "Tragedy ensued."
 * "This is a primitive form of my dark sense of humor." "Although that is relative, because my immaturity is epic."
 * "Joke here was that I was having an affair with a giant pedophile bear."
 * "Rape jokes, even at fourteen!"
 * "That said, I was probably a better actor at fourteen."
 * "I still possess a complete inability to write anything serious."
 * Try not to crack up at the Weird Al music playing under the tragic STD facts. You can't. It's impossible.

The Sexual Awakening of the Human Nerd
"Dr. Tease: We will be interviewing these nerds and, um, experimenting on them.
 * First off, the entire thing is improvised, meaning everbody's reactions (horrfied or otherwise) are completely genuine.
 * From part 1:

Dr. Block: Wait...experimenting?

Dr. Tease: It's a survey that involves chemicals."

"Dr. Tease: We have two questions.
 * Dr Tease calling the interviewees "creatures", then correcting herself and saying "humans", then correcting herself again to say "nerds".
 * Liz's sexual awakening: Seeing Lion-o and Cheetara in Thunder Cats.
 * Dr. Block swooning over Todd in The Shadows after he says that he likes bespectacled women.
 * Linkara's (possibly drugged) interview.

Linkara: The answer to both of them...is starburst lemon.

Dr. Block: I told you not to drug the subjects before they answered the questions!

Linkara: You have pretty hair.

Dr. Tease: Which fictional character served as your sexual awakening?

Linkara:...Schwarzenegger Commando.

Dr. Tease: Do you feel that Schwarzenegger Commando led you to your nerddom?

Linkara: Mmm, definitely. Well you see, at one point, he goes into another room to fight this one guy. and he says "Fudge you, asshole". And then he punches him. And that to me spoke to the human spirit.

Dr. Tease: The human spirit?

Linkara: Yeees.

Dr. Tease: Humans have spirits now?

Dr. Block: Um...yes. Yes they do.

Dr. Tease: Is it scientifically possible?

Linkara: If you excuse me, I must go for a swim now! *hops away*"

"Dr. Tease: Which fictional character served as your sexual awakening?
 * Joe unable to complete a single take without laughing.
 * Jew Wario's horrified reactions to all the questions.

Jew Wario: That's kind of a personal question, isn't it?

Dr. Tease: Yes."

"Dr. Tease: [matter-of-fact tone] We are conducting a scientific research survey, and you have no choice but to participate.
 * From Part 2:
 * Dr. Tease already getting bored and wanting to go out for drinks.
 * Dr. Tease trying to set Dr. Block up on a date: "You'll like him. He's a real interesting fellow. He has eight legs! He's an arachnid!" She of course thinks he's the best thing ever.

Bennett: No choice? I... I could walk away, like, right now.

Dr. Tease: [amused] You could try."

"Dr. Tease: So...you like sluts.
 * As the scientists interview Handsome Tom, 8-Bit Mickey pops up in front of him. Tom very quickly gives him the doctors' "sample" and tells him needs to strip down and rub it on his body. Without questioning, Mickey does so. In public. As the scientists continue their interview and Tom helps Mickey rub whatever it is in.
 * Bargo's entire segment.
 * Like Linkara before him, one of the funniest things is how easily Spoony simply rolls with it rather than acting shocked or confused like everyone else.
 * Dr. Block poking his hair like it's a wild animal.

Spoony: Doesn't everyone?

Dr. Tease: Yesss...[nods]"

"Dr. Tease: Like I am right now?
 * Marz Gurl also rolls with it, agreeing that her Mountain Dew can have a sexual aspect if someone else is eyeing it:

MarzGurl: That's actually very hot.

Dr. Block: [aside] Stop eyeing up the test subjects!

Dr. Tease: I'll try."

"Dr. Tease: Do you own any cats?
 * In the third part, almost everyone just went with it.
 * They even surprised Lindsay with her apparent hate of being considered a nerd, who asks whether she's supposed to be in character or not.
 * Elisa trying very hard not to giggle when Lindsay asks her if she wants to mend her addiction to sexy men.
 * Special mention should also be made to Phelous.

Phelous: *stares off into space* Not anymore..."


 * The Toilet Humor at the end, where Dr. Block accidentally drinks a test subject's urine sample.
 * Dr. Block raging at the end.
 * Having made Paw cry, the immediate reaction of both doctors is to collect samples of his tears.

Live Action Fanfics
"A Change of Pace" "Lupa: I regret you! I still regret you! I'm regretting you even more this time! This is the last regret!"
 * Team NChick, Lupa, Todd and Paw act out a Deviant ART Fanfic of themselves. The Cringe Comedy is fantastic.
 * Everyone's interpretation of "starring" at something.
 * When Todd questions it the first time, the camera pans over suddenly to Elisa as she insists on the spelling.
 * Pretty much any interpretation of a spelling error is hilarious.
 * The 'pool', a doggie dish with the word 'pool' written on it.
 * Lupa regrets Todd.


 * The constant interruptions of Lindsay's dog Kali.
 * Lupa spends the whole video with a tightly clenched jaw, even when it doesn't fit the scene.
 * Todd's ridiculously goofy smile at the fanfic's ending line.

"Lay Your Head Down, Darling"
 * Film Brain's attempt at a Kubrick Stare.
 * Elisa's insistent direction. "UNHEARD sobbing!", after Film Brain sobs audibly.

Commentaries
"Lindsay: This is our award-winning review that changed the world.
 * I have a fondness for the "Great Mouse Detective" bit in the "Top Ten Evil Nostalgic Characters" commentary where she says she's not a typical Yaoi Fangirl, but then spends most of that portion squeeing over the Rattigan/Basil Foe Yay.
 * From the Les Misérables commentary, her observation that the (mostly female) ficcers love the women just as much as they do the guys. I don't even know why, it just amused me.
 * Poking fun at Doug's total inability to say no when asked to sing.
 * In the Fern Gully commentary she did with Doug:

Doug: What was that award again? Wasn't it in Mexico?

Lindsay: It was an environmentalist thingy.

Doug: Point is! We won it and it looks great in my bathroom."

"DRRRNK!"
 * Lindsay's story about how her bowtie goes to the trees with the fairies whenever she's not wearing it.
 * Lindsay: "Get me on your table and punch me!"
 * Their d'awwing over their characters fighting.
 * The fake self-congratularyness about how trend-setting the review was, and Lindsay calling it their "Thriller".
 * Apparently, when people say "It's magic, bitch!", they have to give Lindsay the residual money.
 * According to Lindsay, Nella's the one with the emotions while she just slinks off.
 * "Look at that greenscreen, it was like it was never there."
 * Their assertion that Chick/Critic have very little fic compared to other pairings. In truth, it's the third most popular pairing in terms of fanfic written, and that's in a sea of slash.
 * Seeing as how they both obviously search for art and read the stories, it's much more likely (and even funnier) that they were angling for even more. Magnificent Bastards that they are.
 * Rob calling Lindsay "America's darling".
 * Rob, Lindsay and Doug coming up with an "on the run from a murder" plot for Fern Gully 3.
 * From her "Three Years On: Pocahontas Commentary", admitting that she could say that the 4 by 3 was a recreation of her earlier episodes, but really the battery on her normal camera is just low.
 * The snide Aside Glance when she says "all we've learned as a... nation."
 * How the first thing she does when the commentary actually starts is express regret at the cleavage-happy shirt she's wearing in the review.
 * In the X-Men commentary, Word Of Lindsay is that the Chick writes Mary Sue fanfic and tries to hide it.
 * Mirroring the episode by getting Elisa in "so it won't be as dull".
 * "We love Megamind so much!" So much that they put a reference to it in every episode of the Dark Nella Saga.
 * She and Todd discuss how they both watched every single Disney DTV sequel to prepare for her two videos on them. Or at least Lindsey did, as Todd ended up sleeping through about half of them.
 * Her joy over the Anne Frank page, even challenging people to see what edits are hers.
 * Lindsey and Todd noting how the ridiculously-decorated bell in Hunchback II must sound when someone actually tries to ring it.


 * When the popping octopus in Peter Pan 2 appears, there's Lindsay in the original video going "HAAAAAATE. HAAAAAATE." overlaid with Lindsay in the commentary going "I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!" It's so funny to hear both Lindsays raging in unison.

Video Logs
"He takes Shaw's helmet and is like "Uh-uh girlfriend, this is grey just isn't working. We need some magenta, and purple, and satin"."
 * Lindsay in her and Nella's review of X-Men First Class: "I think I felt something last night, and I think we need to talk about it."
 * The bit where Lindsay has all these confused feelings and compares it to like how you thought you grew out of your experimental college phase but then one night something happens and you don't know anymore.
 * Lindsay calling herself a recovering X-Men fan, as if it's an illness you need to get over. She on the other hand likens it to being a lapsed Catholic.
 * Nella being there to pick up the pieces after Lindsay's fangirl shrank three sizes due to X-Men III.
 * The character of The Nostalgia Chick being born around that time. "Fuck everything! I don't like anything anymore!"
 * Damning Brett Rattner with faint praise. She's sure he's a nice person, but he's a complete hack and a terrible director.
 * "There was bacon everywhere!"
 * Seeing Lindsay out-ham Nella is strange yet magical at the same time.
 * Calling Emma Frost a chandelier with tits and eyeliner.
 * Their annoyance that it was set in the sixties, but still had pole-dancing and the lone CIA agent wearing a tiny skirt.
 * Lindsay comparing seeing the movie to meeting up with an ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. "I've been hurt by you before!"
 * Nella and Lindsay's impressions of Magneto being faaabulous.

"Lindsay: It's like, hey Patrick Dempsey, hey John Malkovich, hey... Bill O Reilly?! Hey, Alan Tudyk? Hey, Leonard Nimoy?!
 * Kali (the real name of Lindsay's puppy) jumping in on their laps as soon as they get excited.
 * In the VLog for Super 8, the fact they're doing this because "they have to hash this out now" before any more work can get done.
 * Elisa not being allowed to sit on the bed because she didn't see the movie.
 * "Our new series! Pillow Talk, with Lindsay and Nella!"
 * Lindsay cockblocking Nella when she tries to explain why she liked the movie.
 * And then trying to distract her with Kali.
 * Lindsay likening the movie to a decent cupcake, but with a way-too-huge glob of frosting on top.
 * Elisa throwing dolls and cuddly toys at them.
 * Nella giving Lindsay permission to eviscerate it and Lindsay clearing her throat in preperation.
 * Hardass, ladette Lindsay admitting that the teddy bear they used was her "Aunt Lois".
 * Nella singing "All By Myself" when Lindsay says she saw it with Todd and his room-mate.
 * Quoth Lindsay: "I don't get paid to like shit!"
 * Nella mentioning JJ Abram's fondness of the Lens Flare, driving Lindsay insane.
 * The reanactment of the physics-destroying train scene, with a Dreamworks action figure and the aforementioned "Aunt Lois".
 * Their borrowing of Jew Wario's "I like it!" Catch Phrase from Kickassia.
 * Elisa's interjections to Lindsay and Todd's Transformers 3 vlog, throwing things at Lindsay and passing them semi-appropriate props.
 * Lindsay saying that she's going to smother Todd with a toy if he upsets her.
 * Also, their dramatic reenactment of Nella angrily biting Lindsay in reaction to Nimoy's "The needs of many outweigh the needs of the few" line.
 * At the start, Lindsay doing something behind Todd's back and then popping up with a grin.
 * "We know how that Michael Bay doesn't know how to speak English, but that's okay." It's like she's talking about a not-so-bright child.
 * Acting like the movie was over eight hours long.
 * Saying that the film literally made Nella dead sick.
 * Lindsay representing John Turturro and John Malkovich's hamminess with pig plushies.
 * Lindsay and Todd recounting all the random cameos, with increasing incredulity:

Todd: Hey, Michael Jordan!

Lindsay: Jean Claude Van Damme, what are you doing here?

Todd: Hey, Napoleon Bonaparte!

Lindsay: Oh my God, Steven Seagal! Gary Coleman, I thought you were dead!

Todd: Why are people lining up to be in this awful movie?"

"Lindsay: "Ryan Reynolds Ryan Reynolds Ryan Reynolds" Pops his collar. "Ryan Reynolds...""
 * Lindsay and Elisa holding skulls.
 * Todd referring to the lead actor as "Shia Le Beef."
 * In the Captain America vlog, making Ryan Reynolds's smugness an Acceptable Target.

"Lindsay: [Valley Girl voice] The Green Goblin was fabulous, girl, don't even get me started."
 * The girls putting two skulls on Todd's crotch and his not noticing until a minute later.
 * Later, Lupa using said skulls to reenact scenes of the movie (everyone else is nearly collapsing of laughter!).
 * Lupa wearing Todd's hoodie and wondering how the hell he can see through the thing.
 * The way the hoodie transfers to everyone else in turn by jump cut.
 * Nella's fangirl rage at Elisa associating Captain America with Wonder Woman.
 * And a "sleeping" Lupa facepalming.
 * Todd's teasing "you know you want to be me" while he's lying on the bed with his girlfriend, Lupa and Elisa.
 * Sleep-deprived Lupa re-enacting Captian America with skulls, with voices and fuzzy hat.
 * Any time the Green Goblin is discussed on the Spider Man Turn Off the Dark] vlog.

"Lindsay: Where the streets have no Spider-Man..."
 * Playing Yackety Sax over the news footage, most of which is about all the accidents happening.
 * Todd: "Spider-Man, Spider-Man, falls right on his spider can. 'Cos the ropes broke again, we just lost nine stunt-men. Look out! There plummets Spider-Man!"
 * Don't forget Lupa getting her groove on next to Lindsay.
 * Lupa: "It was beautiful."
 * Lupa being disappointed that they cut out the song about Arachni trying on shoes.
 * The seamless edit from "Bouncing Off The Walls" to "Vertigo".

"Lindsay: My baaaaabyyyyy!"
 * The creation of Spidey Bloody Spidey. It should at least have lyrics.
 * "We have these costumes, goddamnit, we're going to use them!"
 * Todd's belief that Peter's bedroom looked like it was crafted by Dr Zeus.
 * The giant Spider-Man cardboard cutout that caught a falling baby, and their reactions to it...

"Lindsay: My preeeeeemiiiie!"
 * ...then, they realize that the baby must have been ridiculously tiny to be the same size as Spider-Man's hand...

"Lindsay and Lupa: My stuuuunntmaaaaannn!"
 * ...and then Todd suggests that the giant Spider-Man should catch a falling Spider-Man instead.


 * The discussion of the Bonesaw pool-toy.
 * Describing the show: "It's like musical-loaf; it's cobbled together from several musicals and musical by-products and baked into a pan."
 * All capped off with "... a parody from the forefront of biting satire...
 * In the Hunger Games Vlog, Nella complaining that Lindsay forced her to watch the original animated short of The Lorax before seeing the new version.
 * Lindsay impresses Nella with her ability to whistle Rue's song, and then Nella just says "I can't whistle."
 * Explaining that Lindsay's things just end up at Nella's place somehow every once in a while.

Vampire V Logs

 * In her vlog of Underworld: Awakening, starting to say her Catch Phrase before realizing it's actually morning.
 * Her firm assertion that the third film in the franchise doesn't exist.
 * In her review of The Moth Diaries, sulking that if she forces Chick and Nella to watch the movie, they'd probably leave her coffin in the sunlight.

Misc.
"Nella: You can't talk about bralessness and jello and expect me not to run with the jiggle, okay?"
 * In the course of the TGWTG Year One Brawl, the Nostalgia Chick winds up against a wall, quite clearly panicked. How does she get out?  And, in a moment of
 * The fight between her and the Critic at the beginning of his Ferngully review.
 * Her rants on X-Men 3 (among other things) on a Lord Kat stream in February. Like someone said in the chat, it was like a dark God had awoken. It was glorious.
 * The squeeing over Film Brain's British accent.
 * From her oh-so-lovely, kickass forum smackdown: "Elisa was not crucified upside down. She was water boarded. And a bunch of the boys mooned her mercilessly, there might have been some piercing with two pronged forks involved, and I don't even want to bring up the applesauce (this'll all be on the DVD, don't worry). But nothing happened upside-down, and Elisa is still impatiently awaiting her stigmata."
 * On twitter, her and Elisa trying to matchmake Nella and Oancitizen. The talk of drills and white vans were especially amusing.
 * Her Squee over Spoony's new puppeh.
 * If tweets count, then proclaiming Thanksgiving to be known as the "Feast Of St Lindsay".
 * "Is that a dead cow?" Tammy wondered aloud. "Yes, that's a dead cow. Just checking." #barbecuetonightyall
 * Her Driven to Madness reaction to Freddy Got Fingered.
 * In response to people believing Jesu Otaku is homophobic: Incidentally, the blood of baby marmosets is what keeps me young. Their cries used to haunt me, but now they give me strength.
 * For whatever reason, Doug apparently deserves to be spanked.
 * She really likes waxing the TGWTG boys.
 * After watching Battlefield Earth, this is her first thought: At the end of Battlefield Earth, the humans just... utterly obliterate the planet Psychlo. Like, whole race, whole planet- gone! Where are people gonna go for Psychlo memorabilia? The Psychlo rides and games, the Psychlo salt and pepper shakers!
 * Errbody, go rent/buy/torrent/your vice Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Hey look, I said a nicely thing about a thing! #whotaughtyougrammar
 * Lindsay and Todd are livetweeting Eurovision from their vacation in Ireland. Lindsay's reaction to Jedward is a D: face and masochistic horror.
 * Nella posts unexplained pictures related to future reviews on her twitter with the hashtag #contextisfortheweak.
 * Lindsay's disgusted, gagging reaction to Nella eating a bacon sundae. We non-Americans feel your nausea, my lady. (As do most sane Americans.)
 * In an interview with Random Odds, Elisa said Bratz was so godawful that while they were watching it to make jokes, she had to hold Lindsay's hand.
 * The Jem outtakes, especially Lindsay trying to get the hairband out of Nella's hair, much to the latter's (singing) pain.
 * Lindsay singing about how she's not wearing a bra and Nella jiggling the jello like, well, you know.

"Young!Lindsay: Hey Ashley, wanna be my BFF?
 * "I don't know what key we're in!"
 * Beer actually coming out of the apparently-thought-empty bottle.
 * "Oh my God, this is gonna take forever, to get outta my hair."
 * Lindsay being pretty sure that her eye make-up is actually lipstick.
 * Nella and Lindsay singing about calling the shower first and walking the dog.
 * "I think this is a great method of communication!"
 * Her whole shtick with Todd in The Shadows on facebook. While on Twitter, they're cute and fluffy, but on Facebook she's lovelorn and he's totally dismissive. Gee, sound familiar?
 * She goes by that in the forums too.
 * She and Todd show up on RDA (using Twitter's rules for thier relationship) and request incredibly cheesy stupid songs for each other like Red Light Special, Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, the theme from Spider Man Turn Off the Dark, and Best I Ever Had. And the fact that apparently Nash has to play these whether he likes them or not.
 * This most-likely-joking bit on facebook about how she went to school with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Ashley: SECURITY!"

"Lindsay: ECO FRIENDLY AUTO TUNED POP SHIT OVER THE CREDITS. Oh you fuckers are getting SUCH a review.
 * It's old, but this. Doug coming in to bluntly say he's cuter, a fair few fangirls and fanboys agreeing with him, and Lindsay calling him a tease.
 * In this post, the big long "SNIIIIIFFFFFFFF" as she takes Todd's hoodie to bed with her.
 * And how she'd accept having sex with his corpse if she can't do it while he's alive.
 * Also according to her facebook, it's in her contract that Doug can sit on her twice a year.
 * When Doug asked on his page which TGWTG personalities would fit the characters of X Men (cue a lot of idiot of course), she answered in-character that she'd be Mystique before realizing that's not the most flattering of choices.
 * This blog post where she shares some Old Shame fanart from her college days. There's a lot more Vin Diesel than you'd expect.
 * Lindsay dances quite enthusiastically at the end of the Todd's video about the Black Eyed Peas Experience.
 * Lindsay's furious reactions to the 2012 Lorax movie on twitter, and Lewis Lovhaug's input.

Lewis: Comparison, perhaps, to the original animated version?

Lindsay: AAAAHHHH FUUUUUCK THIS MOVIE"


 * From her UBCon Q&A with Doug, joking (...we think) that if you write fanfic about their characters, then the TGWTG squad reserve the right to act it out.
 * How Doug thought real life Nella was going to be like her Extreme Doormat persona in the Chick videos, only to be surprised when she wanted to go out five times in one night.
 * For Hilarious in Hindsight purposes: Lindsay says that she went to the same school as Mara Wilson and has a friend who knows her personally. Then she and Doug muse about how if she cared, she could probably get Mara to do a cameo in a review. Yep.