I Will Show You X

"Dumb? I'll show you dumb!

You always do."

- Skywarp and Starscream, War for Cybertron



In response to something character A says, character B takes parts X and Y of its wording, and says something along the lines of "I'll [X] You Some [Y]!" or similar variations. It's not so much a Stock Phrase as a stock-structure of phrases.

When said towards a villain, this may be part of a Shut UP Hannibal moment. However, neither using the phrase nor being the subject of the phrase is necessarily associated with moral alignments in either direction. Very often turns out to be a Lame Comeback.

Compare/Contrast with Verb This, in using someone's own wording in a retort to them, but in this case it's specifically about what the character saying it will do, whereas Verb This has no "I" in it and could just as easily be referring to some external circumstance. Compare No You.

Anime

 * In Yu-Gi-Oh, Tristan has an open crush on Joey's sister Serenity, which Joey is none too pleased about. At one point in the English dub, Tristan talks about how he's going to visit Serenity (read:hit on her) in the hospital, to which Joey responds "I'll send you to the hospital!"
 * When the preteens of Ichigo Mashimaro pay a surprise visit to Nobue at the diner where she works. Miu tries ordering breakfast at a time of day the diner doesn't serve it, then writes a zero after the price of each menu item, them complains about the prices. She finally puts in a proper order, including a chocolate parfait. Nobue mutters that she'll "parfait" her...

Comic Books
"Sonic: You're toast if you don't tell me what happened to my family and the other roboticized mobians, !
 * The page image is from issue 74 of Archie Sonic comics. :


 * Come now, hedgehog. Can't you at least take a moment to ? Didn't your parents teach you better manners?

Bunnie: Ah'll show you manners!

Bunnie then "

"NNY: I'll show you wacky! I'll show you all wackeeeeee!"
 * NNY's response to being called "Wacky" by a woman in a Taco Bell Smell:

""Groo is not feckless! He has plenty of feck! I will show you feck like you have never seen!""
 * Then he disembowels everyone in the restaurant with a spork.
 * Similarly, one issue of Groo the Wanderer shows he dislikes being called "feckless."

Film
"Dent: I have a sworn statement from you that [points to Maroni] this man is the head of the Falcone crime family.
 * In The Dark Knight, during an argument between a witness on the stand and Harvey Dent:

Witness: Maroni? He's a fall guy. I'm the brains of the organization!

Dent (to judge): Your honour, permission to treat the witness as hostile?

Judge: Permission granted.

Witness: Hostile? I'll show you hostile!"

"Aladdin: If I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners.
 * Aladdin:

The Prince: I'll teach you some manners!

The prince then kicks Aladdin into the mud."

"Maurice: I just needed a place to stay...
 * And in the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast, when Maurice intrudes into the castle.

Beast: I'll give you a place to stay!

Beast then ."

"Joe: "Your Honor, I call for a mistrial."
 * Idiocracy:

Joe's Lawyer: "I'm gonna mistrial my foot up your ass, (if) you don't shut up.""

"Johnny: I've been wondering. How do you and Alicia...*clicks his tongue in lieu of finishing the sentence*
 * In Fantastic Four, Johnny and Ben discuss girls.

Ben: That's none of your business!

Johnny: Okay, okay! I'm just concerned, that's all. I don't want to wake up one morning and find out she was killed in a rockslide!

Ben: I'll show you a rockslide!"

"Dynamo: Thought it was pretty funny out there in the zone? What's the matter now bitch, why aren't you laughing?
 * Serenity has a more delayed example. The Operative tells Mal that he's trying to help the Alliance create "a world without sin". Later, upon discovering a dark secret about the Alliance that the Operative didn't know about, Mal shows it to the Operative but first says "I'm gonna show you a world without sin."
 * In the film version of The Running Man, Amber, one of the protagonists and the main Love Interest, is cornered by Dynamo.

Amber: Because there's nothing funny about a dickless moron with a battery up his ass.

[Dynamo gets on top of Amber, preparatory for trying to rape her]

Dynamo: I'll show you dickless.

[Amber electrocutes him by shooting the ceiling sprinklers]"

"Magneto: What are you looking for, Charles?
 * Done in the original X Men 1 movie:

Xavier: I'm looking for hope.

Magneto: I will give you hope. And I ask one thing in return: don't get in my way."

Literature
"Lew Archer: I was investigating--
 * From Ross Macdonald's novel The Far Side of the Dollar:

Cop: Investigating what?

Lew Archer: Law enforcement in this county. It stinks.

Cop: We'll law-enforcement you."

"But the responsible news media, instead of calling him out or grabbing their crotch and going "Mandate? I got your mandate here!", were going along with it."
 * Al Franken reacts to Fox News' Coverage of President Bush's 2004 Inauguration speech in the first chapter of The Truth (with jokes), specifically the part where Bush claims to have won a mandate:

"Marco: I'll show you monkey!"
 * In Big Trouble, when Eliot Arnold is getting fed up with his newspaper-writing job, his boss admonishes him that he needs to have his assignment (pointing to his computer) "in here before you go home tonight." Eliot then crosses around to his boss's side of the desk, saying, "How about I put it in there RIGHT NOW?" and puts his left foot through the computer screen.
 * Marco does this in Animorphs

Live Action TV
"Drake: Just pull up your antenna.
 * On The A-Team, B.A. would often respond in this way to whatever nonsense Murdock was spouting. Some of them barely made sense, but Murdock didn't always give him much to work with, and B.A. doesn't like to mince words.
 * Wizards of Waverly Place. There was an entire episode devoted to TJ Taylor, another wizard who responded to everything with this trope. And of course, it never made sense.
 * In Drake and Josh when Josh started losing patience with helping Drake cheat via Radio.

Josh: I'll pull up your antenna!"

"Doctor: Lead on. But not too fast. Her ankle's going.
 * From the Doctor Who episode, "Army of Ghosts" after the Doctor convinces Torchwood that Jackie is Rose who went through Rapid Aging.

Jackie: I'll show you where my ankle's going."

Music
"Let's go play some Pokémon!
 * Country Music singer Gretchen Wilson has an album and song titled I Got Your Country Right Here.
 * "Space" by Sarah Buxton: "You say you want space / Well, I'll give you space..."
 * From "I Wanna Sex Up A Crying Charmander In His Sexy Butthold While Jerking Off His Two-Inch Floppy",by The Baby Stompers:

I'll poke you"

Video Games
"General Duke: You're about the last folks I expected to show up. What's your angle, Mengsk?
 * In Starcraft, in one of the missions in the original Terran campaign:

Jim Raynor: Our angle?! I'll give you an angle, you slimy confederate piece of sh...

Arcturus Mengsk: Enough, Jim!"


 * Tales of Monkey Island: There are a few examples of this near the end of Chapter 4: "I've got yer juicy strain right here, bucko!" "I'll give you some piddlin' firkins!" "I'll show you who's done for!" and "I'll spread you to the four corners!!"
 * Resident Evil 3 has the Nemesis scream out "S.T.A.R.S.!" Guess what Jill says near the end ? "You want S.T.A.R.S.? I'll give you S.T.A.R.S.!"
 * When Kratos finally confronts Ares face to face in the first God of War, he tells Ares that the monster (Kratos himself) he created will now destroy him. Ares' response? "You do not know what a true monster is..." (grows a bunch of freaky spider legs on his back) "Your final lesson is at hand!"

Web Animation
"Strong Sad: I think I've improved on your methods a bit, too. I employed some chiaroscuro shading, and-
 * In the dragon Strong Bad email:

Strong Bad: I'll improve on your methods!!

Strong Bad sets Strong Sad's drawing on fire and reduces it to nothing.

Strong Sad: What?! That's not an improvement!"

Web Comics
"Angus: So does that mean you're gonna wash it more than twice a year now?
 * In Questionable Content, Angus compliments his shy, socially awkward roommate Marigold on her haircut, then slips in an affectionate insult:

Marigold: (not amused) I'll--I'll wash you more than twice a year! B-because you're a stupid jerk! Who smells!

Angus: O venom-tongued maiden! Stay your barbs, I beseech you!"

"Sarda: That's adorable, really.
 * Eight Bit Theater, this strip.

Garland: Oh, we'll show you adorable!

(shows Sarda a photo of a bunny)

Sarda: Yes, you sure did."


 * During the Wizard Duel between Terra and Magus in El Goonish Shive, Terra promised to show him "potential".
 * Played with in Men in Hats, with the word being "converge".
 * Ozy and Millie: "I'll feather duster you!"

Western Animation
"Squit: Yes. Pesto, you are one swell bird.
 * A Running Gag in Animaniacs, or more precisely, the "Goodfeathers" series within it, is Pesto very often misinterpreting what Squit says about him. The result is I Will Show You X, preceeded by several other phrases among the lines "Are you sayin' that I'm <...>, is that what you're sayin'? What am I, <...> here to amuse you?"

Pesto: What do you mean by that?

Squit: Why, I said you're swell, that's all.

Pesto: You're sayin' I got a big head, is that what you're sayin'? What am I, a bloated puffy round head here to amuse you?

Squit: Nah, I didn't say that, I just... I said you're swell.

Pesto: I am swell?

Squit: Yeah, you're swell.

Pesto: Swell?

Squit: Yeah.

Pesto: That's it!


 * Big Ball of Violence*

Here's your "swell"! I got your "swell"! Right here! I'll show you "swell"!"

"Homer: Lisa! Knock off that racket!
 * The sign at the entrance of the Brooklyn Aquarium in Futurama reads "We got your fish right here pal."
 * The Simpsons:

Lisa: But Dad, I'm supposed to practice an hour a day!

Homer: I'll practice you!

Lisa: You'll practice me...what does that mean? Is it supposed to be some sort of a threat?"

"Judi Dench: Who are you talking to?
 * And in another episode:

Londoner Squeaky-Voiced Teen: No-one, mum, I swear!

Judi Dench: I'll Mum you! {starts beating Londoner Squeaky-Voiced Teen}"

"Bart: Dad. You blew it. You listened to Lisa and then you lost your stranglehold on the audience.
 * Another Simpsons example, when Homer's mom reappears, Bart asks for retroactive birthday, Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanzaa gifts. Homer responds with "I'll Kwanzaa you!"
 * This is a fairly popular one with The Simpsons. For example, when Homer was yet again passed up for the "Worker of the Week" award for...an inanimate carbon rod. "Inanimate huh? I'll show him inanimate!" He just stands there.
 * "The earring could plug the hole." "I'll plug YOUR hole!"
 * Done again in, "Today, I am a Clown":

Homer: I'll audience you! (starts strangling him)"

"Vet: Don't worry. I know you don't like the big, scary needles, so we'll use a topical cream instead.
 * The Penguins of Madagascar, "I Was A Penguin Zombie":

Skipper: Oh, yeah? You try anything and I'll cream your topical!"

"Stimpy: *cheerily* Here's your breakfast, Ren!
 * In a Ren and Stimpy episode dealing with the Stimpy facing his own mortality and going throuh various emotional phases. To illustate "Anger", there's a short bit where Ren is at the dinner table, ready to eat.

Ren: Uh...Stimpy? You forgot the toast.

Stimpy: TOOAST??! HEEEERE'S YOUR TOOOOAST!!!! *slams toast into Ren's face and rubs it violently*"

"Aang: "Woah, wild shot!"
 * In the finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender: "I'll show you lightning!"
 * And during Aang's fight with Zhao:

Zhao: "I'll show you wild!""

"Katara: Tiny Zuko! He looks so cute!
 * Also, from one of the chibi shorts:

Zuko: I AM NEITHER CUTE NOR TINY!

Iroh: You are pretty cute, my tiny nephew.

Zuko: I'LL SHOW YOU TINY!"

"Referee: Foul! Over the line! Move back to Zone 3!
 * In the sequel series, Korra is fond of giving these whenever she commits a foul during a Pro-bending match.

Korra: (under her breath) I'll show you "over the line...""

"Referee: Unnecessary roughness! Move back 1 zone!

Korra: (splashing him) I'll unnecessarily rough you up!"


 * On The Mr. Men Show, a running gag has Mr. Rude say "I'll give you X," and then fart, causing all the characters to chastise him.

I got yer stinger right here pal!