Phineas and Ferb/Funny

Examples from The Movie go here.

Running Jokes
"Norm: I run on squirrel power!"
 * What, you thought a totally reorganized Crowning Moment of Funny page would fall out of the sky?
 * You never believed in me.
 * You'd be surprised what falls out of the sky in Danville.
 * Any sentence on this show that begins with "in hindsight" is bound to be hilarious.
 * Everything Norm says.

"Doofenshmirtz's Jingle Singers: Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporate—
 * Ferb's one-liners. No one else could pull them off like he does.
 * Basically every scene where Doofenshmirtz realizes it's Perry (who's in a disguise at the time, then he takes it off and wears his fedora) who he's seeing/talking to:
 * Whether it be him playing a musical instrument ("Attack Of The 50-Foot Sister") ...

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Oh, what now?

(Perry staggers in, playing a banjo)

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: A banjo-playing platypus?

(Perry puts on his secret agent fedora)

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE BANJO-PLAYING PLATYPUS?!"

"Doofenshmirtz: What kind of a plumber are you?
 * ...Or him acting out a job which he's bad at ("The Lemonade Stand") ...

(Perry takes off hat)

Doofenshmirtz: A platypus plumber?

(Perry puts on fedora)

Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus Plumber?

(Perry takes off his plumber belt)

Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE PLATYPUS??!!"

"(Perry, in Candace's body, busts into Doofenshmirtz's building)
 * ...Or him being in another person's body ("Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?") ...

Doofenshmirtz: A teenage girl?

(Perry puts on his fedora)

Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE TEENAGE GIRL?!

(He presses a remote, a cage falls on Perry)

Doofenshmirtz: Sorry about the tight fit, but you know, if I had known you were going to disguise yourself as a teenage girl, I would have set a bigger trap."

"Doofenshmirtz: (collecting his stolen lawn gnomes, gets Perry disguised as a lawn gnome next) Oh, here's a funny looking one. (Perry punches Doofenshmirtz)
 * ...Or him disguising as a thing Doofenshmirtz is supposed to be stealing (Lawn Gnome Beach Party Of Terror) ...

Doofenschmirtz: What the--?

(Perry takes off his disguise)

Doofenshmirtz: A platypus?

(Perry puts on his fedora)

Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!"

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (when Perry comes in wearing Groucho Marx glasses) Oh, are you my new temp? Well, let me just get you up to speed; I know it's a bit of a piece of dirty mess. I'm just putting the finishing touches on my latest maniacal plan. You see, in a few minutes, I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror upon the entire... (holds up magnifying glass to a map of the world behind him) Tri-State Area, and Perry the Platypus will never be the wiser! (Perry removes glasses) PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! You're a temp? Are times that hard?"
 * ...Or him disguising as someone Doofenshmirtz hired ("Flop Starz") ...

"(After Perry knocks Doofenshmirtz down and takes his Misbehavinator)
 * ...Or Doofenshmirtz accidentally buying him and planning to use him on his schemes (Got Game?) ...

Doofenshmirtz: Hey! What was that all about?

(Perry takes off his dog disguise and puts on his fedora)

Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus?!? Uh, ha ha, I...I'm very embarrassed about all that 'coochie-coochie-coo' stuff..."

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Pretty good don't you think, Perry the Platypus? (spits out drink) PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! (screaming to pigeons) Get him!!! Stop him!!! He's headed for that clearly-marked exit!!!"
 * ...Or Doofenshmirtz not being able to immediately recognize Perry ("Tree To Get Ready") ...

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Okay, let's make sure I didn't forget anything in my haste. Let's see, I've got my old basketball, the lamp, the Christmas lights, Perry the Platypus, the Disintivaporator, my golf clubs... PERRY THE PLATYPUS!? THE DISINTIVAPORATOR!? MY GOLF CLUBS!? I don't even play golf!"
 * ...Or Doofenshmirtz realizing that he brought Perry along when he tried to escape from him ("One Good Scare Ought To Do It") ...

"Perry: (mouthing a CD recording) Upon an evil winter's heart, the heavy hand of regret infrequently alights. The malevolent part is one charm without the cumbersome shackles are sentimental intro (the CD begins skipping) spect spect spect spect spect spect spect spect spect spect (Perry whacks the CD player with the book)
 * ...Or him trying to impersonate someone Doofenshmirtz idolized ("A Hard Day's Knight").

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hmm, that's funny. I don't remember you saying "spect" so many times. (Perry explodes out of his disguise) Dr. Wexler, you're a platypus. (Perry puts on his hat) PERRY THE PLATYPUS!?"

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (crashes into Perry) Hey watch where you're... Say, you look fabulous! But haven't I seen you somewhere before?
 * ...Or Doofenshmirtz happening to bump into him and recognizing a resemblance from his disguise ("Vanessessary Roughness").
 * Actually a subversion; he didn't managed to fully recognize Perry since he didn't take off his disguise and put on his fedora.

Perry: *chortles*"

"(Doofenshmirtz falls on the Perry balloon of the parade)
 * ...Or Doofenshmirtz happening to recognize an item which looks just like him ("Hip Hip Parade") ...

Doofenshmirtz: A platypus balloon?

(balloon hits a sign and the fedora from the sign falls on the balloon's head)

Doofenshmirtz: A PERRY THE PLATYPUS BALLOON?!"

"(Perry is trapped. He shakes off his hat and enters pet mode)
 * Go to the movie page for perhaps the best examples ever of Doof not recognizing Perry.
 * ("Mommy, Can You Hear Me?")

Perry: (chatters)

Doofenshmirtz: Aw, poor little regular platypus. Did mean old Perry the Platypus put you in this trap?

(He frees Perry who immediately attacks him and puts his hat back on)

Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE PLATYPUS? I don't know how you got free, or what you did with that other platypus, but it doesn't matter."


 * ...Doofenshmirtz will never be the wiser!!
 * Pretty much any of the Doofenshmirtz jingles, especially the fact that the jingle happens everywhere he happens to be. (Some of the more memorable examples being "Doofenshmirtz holding a bucket" from "Perry Lays an Egg", "Doofenshmirtz Evil is carpeted" from "the Chronicles of Meap", "Doofenshmirtz house in the suburbs" from "Put that Putter Away" and "Doofenshmirtz walks to the diner" from "Ain't no Kiddie Ride"). It even extends to "Doofenshmirtz's ex-wife's sport sedan."
 * "Poofenplotz's evil is craaazy!"
 * "Doofus Khan's Multilevel Yurt!"
 * "Malifishmirtz's Evil Incorporated, butnotreallyacorporationbecausecorporationshaven'tbeeninventedyetsoit'smorelikeaguildoratradesmanassociation!"
 * (single, off-key singer) "Doofenshmirtz Quality Bratwurst!"
 * "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated".
 * Anytime the giant floating baby head shows up.
 * Candace always seeing the talking zebra, especially when hallucinating.

Season 1
"Candace: It's funny, I kinda thought you guys were avoiding me.
 * The end of "Unfair Science Fair Redux," where Candace has spent the day thinking her friends are ignoring her:

Some guy who wasn't there a second ago: Actually, I was trying to avoid you.

Candace: Do I know you?

Guy: No, that's how great it's been working. Unknown Guy is out. Peace!"

"Doofenshmirtz: Yours may have laser eyes, but mine breathes (activates the cockpit, the robot breathes fire through the mouth, burning Doofenshmirtz) fi---IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE. (Beat) That was a stupid design."
 * Candace's misinterpretation of Stacy's text message (written in chatspeak).
 * In the episode "A Hard Day's Knight", Doofenshmirtz borrows a fire breathing dragon robot. With a cockpit in the mouth. You can guess what happens next.

"Phineas: I know what we're gonna do today!
 * And in the same episode, Phineas actually building a horse.
 * Not to mention the fact that the dragon's opponent is a
 * One that really cracks me up every time is the Oh Crap look on Doof's face when he realizes he just pressed the emergency eject button.
 * Charles' laugh after his butler says, "Oh, dear, I have punned."
 * The running joke about the new version of Jane Eyre to anyone who's at all familiar with that particular work's adaptation history.
 * "Are You My Mummy?": The boys trying to catch the mummy
 * In "Boyfriend from 27,000 BC" right after Phineas and Ferb have seen a documentary about cavemen followed by a fast food commercial.

(Jump Cut to Phineas and Ferb eating food from the place in the commercial)

Phineas: I know what else we're gonna do today!"

"Phineas: "Think about all the practical applications a caveman can have in the modern world!"
 * And this line later on...

(BEAT)

Phineas: "Actually, you know besides politics, I can't think of anything.""

"Norm: Aren't you a little old to be building a fort?
 * "Hail Doofania!" may have more CMOFs than any other 15-minute episode.
 * There's the epic-level role-reversal, from "Norm, I know what we're going to do today!" to "Bless you, Perry the Platypus!"

Doofenshmirtz: No, no I'm not. Shut up."

"Monogram: I work alone, Carl.
 * "Behold- The Rainbow-inator! Soon there will be a GIANT rainbow that will spread across THE ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!...or at least, that's the plan anyway". Complete with the appropriate hand movements.
 * Not to mention the whole subplot with Vanessa & Candace switching clothes ("I look like a candy cane!")
 * Candace tries to explain to Jeremy that the clothes she's wearing don't belong to her. She starts off saying "I'm not wearing these clothes," then has to clarify that sentence, then has to clarify the clarification, and so forth. The whole monolog spirals out of control, sounding increasingly insane as she gets increasingly agitated. All the while, Jeremy just stares.
 * Then Candace gives up, poses, and asks seductively "Do you like it?"
 * Major Monogram singing "Gitchee Gitchee Goo".

Carl: Sorry, sir.

Monogram: It's a solo."

"Vanessa: He has evil schemes! Most people don't even have regular schemes!"
 * Just the way Norm announces "I'm drilling!"
 * And also "Don't forget, Friday is cake day!"
 * Definitely can't forget this:

"Norm: Whatcha doooin'?
 * What about when Perry kept trying all day to get into his lair but couldn't because of the cone on his head?
 * More role-reversal;

Doof: Whatcha doin'- What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz: My very own nemesis!
 * The part in "Oil on Candace" where Perry takes off his hat.

Prof. Gevaarlijk: Oh, Heinz...How can he be your nemesis? He doesn't even have a hat!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No, no! I...I made that mistake a couple of times, too, but that's him! I swear!

Prof. Gevaarlijk: In your letters, you said your nemesis was 'a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable, dynamic fury.'

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: He iiis! No, you've just got to see him in action. Here, here, I'll let him go. *removes restraints* Go ahead, Perry the Platypus, thwart my plans. *awkward silence* C'mon. Let me have it. *further awkward silence* Thwart away, big guy.

Prof. Gevaarlijk: Heinz...

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Aaand...thwart!

Prof. Gevaarlijk: He's just a platypus. They don't do much, you know.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait! He's just about to do something. Wait...for...it...

Perry: *chortles*"

""You can run, but it won't be to the college of your choice I tell you!""
 * "One Good Scare Ought to Do It." Pretty much the whole shebang, but specifically Buford's bit while he's dressed as Jeremy's little sister for the haunted house Phineas and Ferb built to get rid of Isabella's hiccoughs.
 * Baljeet dressing up as the scariest thing he can imagine: A failed math test.

""Sadly, he was captured in the middle of his latest scheme, TO SET FIRE TO THE SUN! But before he was locked away, Kevin asked a favor of me: To prevent them from discovering his hidden lair and all it's secrets, would I please SET FIRE TO THE SUN! I was like, dude, you really got to let that one go, it's a ball of fire! It makes no sense.""
 * Doofenshmirtz telling Perry about his mentor:

"Candace: See? Absolute terror! These little creeps have destroyed our backyard, leaving this ugly mess in its place.
 * Candace shows the haunted house to her mother:

(the house has vanished and there's nothing to see but Baljeet)

Linda: Hi, Baljeet! That wasn't very nice, Candace."

"Candace: It's back! I told you! It's returned!
 * Moments later:

Baljeet: Oh, excuse me. I forgot my satchel."

"Monogram: First, that magical elves have caused Doofenshmirtz to vanish into the land of angry corn people."
 * And then there's Monogram's first theory about why they lost Doofenshmirtz' signal:

"Candace: That's it, you little psycho! I'm calling Mom! And I am not using the banana this time!
 * Toward the beginning, after Candace's rehearsal call to Jeremy:

Phineas: You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?"

"The movies are gray
 * In "Out of Toon," Doofenshmirtz builds a device that makes people dance uncontrollably. Both he and Perry are hit by the ray, and as they dance together, Doof looks at the audience and says, "To add insult to injury, the platypus is leading."
 * The look of Candace's face to see the animation studio dance away along with everyone else.
 * Unfair Science Fair: Both times when Doofenshmirtz gets a shiner - the first was from a large woman with a masculine voice, the second was from a guy whose little brother was ridiculed by Doof for entering a model of Pluto into the science fair.
 * Not to mention that Doofenshmirtz keeps getting upped by baking soda volcanoes all through the episode. At the end he accidentally ends up through the portal to mars, is about to be crowned King... until the Martians place the crown on a baking soda volcano.
 * Not to mention a flashback to Doofenshmirtz's college days where he briefly took up poetry after repeatedly failing at science fairs:

The TV is black

The horses are running

Please bring me some food"

"Candace (in Doofenshmirtz's new lair): Hey Perry, I'm going to get something from the vending machine, (approaches Big Red Button labeled "lair self destruct") you want anything?
 * Notably, he still lost out to a baking soda volcano, even as a poet.
 * In the episode "The Ballad of Badbeard", Candace is exposed to hallucinogenic moss, goes crazy, and foils Doofenshmirtz, while at the same time spouting non sequiturs and being uncharacteristically cheery.

Agent P: (gestures frantically to try and stop her)

Candace: If you say so! I'm gonna get me some beef jerky! (presses button; ground starts shaking and small rocks start falling.)"

"Candace: Why do my nostrils whisper to me?"
 * The fact that they managed to get Candace completely tripping out past the radar is hilarious in itself.

"Grandpa Flynn: I was just about your age when I first heard about Badbeard's treasure. I'd come up here every summer to search for it. I felt drawn by the excitement and adventure. Of course, then I discovered girls, and the rest is a blur."
 * Also from that episode: "Their names are Susan and Susan. I named them after each other."

"Buford: Bad beard forever, dude.
 * Baljeet and Buford's exchange when Phineas goes to open Badbeard's treasure:

Baljeet: And you don't even have a chin!"

"Zebra: Oh, it gets much stranger, Kevin."
 * The zebra:

"Giant Baljeet Holding String Puppets of Parents: The real shock is you're just noticing this now!"
 * 'Phineas and Ferb Get Busted', when everything falls into insanity.

"Giant Zebra Holding Giant Baljeet Holding String Puppets of Parents: I'm just as confused as you are, Kevin."
 * And then:

"Candace: That's it! I'm dreaming!
 * And right after that:

Jeremy: That would explain the talking zebra.

Candace: Nah, I see him all the time. But this! *points to Jeremy proposing* This has to be a dream!"

"Phineas (juggling corn dogs with Ferb): Corn dog, corn dog, yummy yummy yummy!"
 * Taking advantage of the fact that you don't yet know what's going on:

"Sergeant: I said, no funky rhythms!
 * Heck, even before all of that, we've got "Funky Rhythms in the Bathroom."
 * Or what about that heartwarming song: Little Brothers, cause you're younger, we're related, and you're boys...
 * Believe it or not, the Sergeant has a humorous scene during the credits.

Phineas: You know Ferb...he's right. That was a little funky."

"Sergeant: Aren't you a little female to be Morty Williams?
 * And this:

Candace: Well...you know...the camera adds (deep voice) masculinity."

"Doofenshmirtz: ...What just happened?"
 * "Jerk de Soleil": Wild parsnips bring Candace out in a rash and affect her voice; Linda and friends are recording a blues jam today. Naturally, Jeremy gives Candace a basket of wild parsnips, making her voice deep and gruff. When she goes to tell her mother that the boys are building a circus, she ends up singing the blues about the "Evil Boys".
 * In "Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?" when Perry (in Candace's body) fights Doofenshmirtz, Doofenshmirtz at one point tries to run away. We see a dust cloud as he apparently does, but when it clears, he's still there.

"Doofenshmirtz: Did you have that purse when you came in?"
 * Also when he calls attention to the Hammerspace:

"Jeremy: How's my favorite little platypus today?
 * The same episode has a hysterically funny scene where Jeremy strokes Candace (hmm...) while she's in Perry's body, unaware that anything's amiss...even when the platypus speaks English.

Candace/Perry: *sighs with pleasure* Oops, I mean... *lousy imitation of Perry's chortle*"

""First up in the surf contest is Bobby Nelson. Oh! And Nelson eats it on five-footer! And there's Django Brown shooting the curl, and here comes Buford Van Stomm! OHH! He pummels Brown with a Philadelphia traffic stomp! And now he's got him in a Half-Nelson, now a Full-Nelson, OH! And now he's actually beating him with Bobby Nelson! Here's the scores from our judges, and Buford doesn't like it one bit. [Buford smashes the table with Bobby]
 * Doofenshmirtz in "Raging Bully": "It all began on the day of my actual birth. Both of my parents failed to show up." Oh, Doofenshmirtz. Abusive Parents at its most hilarious.
 * From "Lawn Gnome Beach Party Of Terror". Linda is weirded out by the fact that Candace hasn't called her, and starts going home as Candace is crowned queen of the beach. As she gets two minutes away, Candace runs out and, after a short conversation, she starts explaining what happened that day, with her mom's face getting more and more weirded out every time it cuts to her.
 * The entire narration of the surfing contest.

Next up is Phineas Flynn, and it's great to see a young surfer show such confidence. [Phineas is leaning back on his surfboard, reading a book.] Uh-oh, what's this? [Buford splashes through Phineas. The real Phineas is on a surfboard nearby with a projector.] Oh, those kids today and their holographic projections. He's in the pipeline, now he's hangin' ten! He's hanging twenty! He's hangin' thirty-two! Now he's just hangin'! The crowd loves it! I don't think there's a name for that! The crowd is doing the wave, and Phineas is surfing it! Let's go to the judges. 10 to the 5th power, infinity, and oh! It seems Phineas Flynn's radical surfing has made judge #3 re-think Einstein's theory of relativity! Cowabunga, laws of nature!""

"(Doof presses a remote button)
 * "Run for your lives! It's GNOME-AGEDDON!"
 * The episode title itself is hilarious. It feels as if it immigrated from Invader Zim.
 * This bit:

Doofenshmirtz: You are mine now!

(The garage door opens)

Doofenshmirtz: No, that was the garage door opener.

(Doof gets another remote)

Doofenshmirtz: You are mine now!

(The TV turns on)

Doofenshmirtz: And that was the TV remote.

(Doof finds the right remote and pushes the button)

Doofenshmirtz: YOU ARE MINE NOW!

(Perry is trapped)

Doofenshmirtz: Now I shall finally rid myself of you! But first, pay your attention to the giant screen and-

(He actually pressed the garage door opener which closes the garage door)

Doofenshmirtz: Maybe I need to turn the cable on first?"

"Phineas: We're gonna put on a laser light show! And, as a grand finale we're going to laser our faces into the comet! That way, when it comes back in 73½ years, we can all show our grandchildren! Oh yeah, my parents are cooking steaks for everyone.
 * From "Mom's Birthday". After Dr. Doof hits a button that shrinks any instrument beginning with "B" down to a microscopic speck, Candace is going into her room to get her bass. Then a banjo. Then a whole bunch of other instruments, and five minutes later we see her pick up two more, one being a balalaika and the final group being bagpipes.
 * Are you sure you mean "Balalaika"?
 * Isabella's line in "Comet Kermillian":

Isabella (in a dreamy voice): You had me at "our grandchildren."

Phineas: What? *needle scratch*

Isabella (in a nervous voice): Steaks! You had me at "steaks"!"

"First rapper: Check it out. That girl had actual squirrels in her pants.
 * The "Squirrels in My Pants" song. Made even better by this exchange:

Second rapper: We just got served."

"Doofenshmirtz: You can try, Perry the Platypus! But you will never guess my super-secret password!
 * The part when Perry is trying to hack into Doofenshmirtz computer:

Computer: Doofalicious. Access granted."

"Jeremy: What happened to her?
 * Also:

Suzy: I don't know, but these violent mood swings are probably a sign of deeper emotional imbalance.

Jeremy: What?

Suzy: *reverts to cute mode* Heh-heh-heh. Bubbles. Hee-hee."

"Phineas: It's half man, half bull! It's a minotaur!
 * Norm's introduction in "Greece Lightning", where he ends up chasing Perry through town, whilst yelling things like "The enemy of the Platypus is man!", "Are those slacks new? They make you look slimmer!", and "Let's invite our wives next time!"
 * And this part:

Norm: My name is Norm!

Phineas: It's Norm the minotaur!"

"Candace: Phineas! Just what do you think you're doing?
 * The filmstrip itself is hilarious, from the uncertainty over the plural of "platypus" to one of the threats being "duplicating imitatable (sic) stunts seen on television."
 * The bit listed under the main page's entry for I Take Offense to That Last One, which shows that Phineas may not be as nice as he seems to be:

Phineas: Candace, great! You're just in time. Check out this cool looking helmet we made for you (produces a helmet with snakes on the top like Medusa's hair). And we built you your own chariot that looks just like you.

(cut to chariot, which has a hideous expression)

Candace: Oh that's ridiculous (making same expression as chariot) I do not have wheels!"

" Phineas: Yeah, we're inside Candace.
 * Ferb keeping his hands over his eyes after Candace is mistaken for a gorgon. Also Candace trying to deny her "power" only to be met by stone statues no matter which way she turns.
 * From Journey to the Center of Candace:

Ferb: That's creepy on so many levels."

"Phineas: She's on her date with Jeremy!...That means we're on a date with Jeremy.
 * And later:

Ferb: Again, creepy on so many levels."

"Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus! How'd you escape my Chinese platypus trap?
 * Also, earlier in the episode, the scene where when Ferb imitated Pinky.
 * And of course the credits. It's beyond physical possibility to watch them and not laugh.
 * "I'm inside a dog! Perfect. NOW I CAN PEE ALL OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA! * laughs* Oh, what am I doing with my life?"
 * Isabella's announcement for the Monster Truck Rally in "It's A Mud Mud Mud Mud World". Who knew she had it in her?
 * "That doesn't make any sense." "It doesn't have to, I've got a monster truck!"
 * Lawrence painting by numbers in the same episode. Richard O'Brien's voice is just icing.
 * "Dad, you might want to wipe the Queen off your face."
 * Also:

(cut to inside of the monster truck where a Chinese man is holding scissors)

Chinese man: Ancient Chinese secret.

Doofenshmirtz: That's funny, I don't remember inviting him."

"Ferb: Um, that man isn't wearing any clothes."
 * From "Toy to the World":

"Phineas: So what's this?
 * From "Dude, We're Getting The Band Back Together", during Danny's 'history of rock' montage

Danny: This is Psychedelia; It's where the guitar solo came from.

Phineas: No, I mean what's with all the colors?

(Music suddenly stops)

Danny: I have no idea."

"Candace: That's it! I'm gonna tell Mom!
 * Candace distracting her mother during the "Fabulous" musical number. "Hot towel!"
 * "It's About Time": Perry and Doof's subverted Meadow Run.
 * "Why am I wearing a turtle on my head?"
 * The entirety of the "Me and My Nemesis" song.
 * "Fossils... dun dun dun." *rewind sound* "Fossils... dun dun dun." *rewind sound* "Fossils... dun dun dun." (rewind sound) "Fossils... dun dun dun."
 * When the Fireside Girls try to build a time machine, they initially fail... because of a spelling error. After they realize that mistake, they succeed.
 * Everything involving that purple time machine piece which keeps transporting whoever's holding it back to wherever they were a few moments before (making them say the same thing over and over).
 * When they film the big scene in "Lights, Candace, Action" which involves the monster/princess Candace having to fight the villagers (cue bullets being thrown at her) the air force (cue toy planes) and the Space Armada from the planet Plumbing Supplies (cue plumbing supplies). Then Phineas discovers he forgot to take the lens cap off, and says that was a good rehearsal, and that they need to film it again, much to her obvious displeasure.
 * Phineas has Candace wear a banana hat so she can get chased by a monkey for a realistic chase scene. That doesn't turn out too well... so Phineas does a retake, this time having Candace wear a sandwich hat and Ferb chase her.
 * "I Scream, You Scream" is probably most notable for 'Busted', but, during Doof's Imagine Spot about the Space-Laser-inator he notes that he wants to get rid of morning talk show hosts. If you're watching for it, you can see that, while the majority of the host was laser-inated, his arms are still on the table, clutching his coffee cup.
 * Candace's moment of Fridge Logic in "Flop Starz":

Phineas: Okay...Tell her what?

Candace: *long pause* I'm just gonna tell!"

"Candace: I knew I should have taken blender lessons!"
 * Marty the Rabbit Boy and his musical blender: perhaps the best sight gag in the whole series.


 * Candace's hypothetical scenario in "Out to Launch," where asking Jeremy to the dance leads to literally everyone laughing at her and the entire planet Earth being destroyed. Who hasn't had a thought like that?
 * "You do realize that's only a worse case scenario?"
 * Phineas altering part of the rocket launch equation from the square root of a bomb to the square root of a smiley face. It works.
 * The "deep voice" gag had already been done at this point with both Candace and Isabella, but still: the reveal that Gretchen was the one doing the deep countdown voice.

Season 2
"Lawrence: We may be on this island a while.
 * This exchange in "Swiss Family Phineas": "You're giving a monkey a shower?" "Yep. Had to be done."
 * Also, the island version of "Quirky Worky Song" from this episode.
 * Also from that episode:

Candace: A while?! You mean we're stranded!? That means we won't get to Jeremy's party before the sun sets! We'll be stuck here forever, eating rocks and bugs, then I'll have to marry a monkey and have monkey-kids and name them Xavier and Amanda! (Sobs)

Lawrence: And we'll love them anyway."

"(Perry is on the roof surveying the neighborhood with binoculars)
 * Also the look of absolute hatred that Perry gives to the fake platypus Buford and Baljeet made at the end of the episode. The fake platypus is CMOF material in and of itself (its tail is a frozen waffle with a bite taken out of it), but Perry's reaction takes it Up to Eleven.
 * From "No More Bunny Business":

Phineas: Look, Ferb. There's Perry.

Perry: *reverts to pet mode*

Phineas: Maybe that's where he disappears to all the time. Well, if he got himself up there, he can get himself down."

"Candace: Do you know what this is?
 * Also:

Phineas: Uh...Is it not a rabbit?"

"Stacy: Oh, oh, and the part when the guy rollerskated into the toilet!
 * The lyrics to "With My X-Ray Eyes," especially "Sometimes photons behave like a wave, but they're particles when you reflect 'em."
 * Doofenshmirtz is beaten by a potted plant. Never before has there been a "villain" so hilariously harmless.
 * How about the adorable Crowd Song about aglets in "Tip of the Day"?
 * We also have a viral video known only as Doofenshmirtz is a Superstar
 * "It won't stop flushing!"
 * Perry couldn't even help but give a smile after watching this.

Candace: That was sort of the only part, but yeah, I was dying!"

"Candace: Wow. I've been given all this power and how I've chosen to use it is to run through gold coins barefoot. I'm a genius!"
 * Pretty much everything Candace says in "Make Play."

"Princess Baldegunde: Hello, cute blond boy with guitar!
 * Then when the princess meets Jeremy.

Jeremy: (nervously) Hi...cute redhead...talkin' funny..."

"Phineas:We have to blur the line between skateboard and skateboarder. We can combine dirt biking, ATV racing, in-line skating, street luge, motorized scooters, and Bulgarian folk dancing. Of course, all this extreme fun requires extreme safety: shoulder pads, goggles, gloves, Bulgarian folk athletic supporters, and rocket boosters, razor wire, grappling hooks, and laser blaster. Then we lock it all together with an indestructible titanium exoskeleton that increases strength, jumping ability, and other physical attributes 100 times, including the senses and folk dancing ability. *Record Scratch* What, you think we should have more Bulgarian-folk-related elements? Oh, less. Less Bulgar— Whoa, I thought we were on the same page, but no, it's cool. Whatever."
 * My name is Doof, and you'll do what I say - WHOOP! WHOOP!
 * Even funnier in the Polish version, in which, probably due to a lack of literally translated rhymes, Doof actually sings "Two roulades, you must do what I want".
 * "I swear, of all the aquatic mammals I hang with, you are truly the most uncooperative!" This is beautiful. I wonder if that whale in "Perry Lays an Egg" is secretly with the OWCA.
 * "The Beak."
 * "Ya, see, cause he hit him." "I'm not an idiot, Charles." Better still, this is said by the Author Avatar. Which also makes the 'Actually, I thought it was pretty clever' line a lot funnier.
 * The intercom running gag.
 * Three words: Bulgarian folk dancing.

"Stacy: Then what does the Dangerbil do?
 * This:

Candace: I told you, you're my henchman. Hench or something.

Stacy: Oh, no. You did NOT just tell me to hench.

Candace: Fine, just watch my bike.

(in a later scene, she rolls by in a giant gerbil ball and casually announces that she lost the bike)"

"Mitch: No, I found Colin just floating all alone in space.
 * "And so...everything...pretty much...works out...I guess. Narrator guy is out! Peace!"
 * Possibly my favorite sight gag ever is when Linda says "Let's go home for snacks" and the ENTIRE CITY comes with them.
 * How about Ferb's rap in "Spa Day"?
 * Dr. Coconut. Just...Dr. Coconut.
 * From The Chronicles of Meap, when Doofenshmirtz is trying to get his childhood balloon-friend back from Mitch:

Doofenshmirtz: Well, I actually drew his face! Look, look, I signed it!

Mitch: That's a birthmark!

Doofenshmirtz: A birthmark? It's a balloon, you idiot!"

"Candace: (looking at a row of books) Boring, dull, stupid, lame, heavy-handed and derivative.
 * From near the beginning of the episode, we have this little exchange between Candace and Linda:

Linda: Oh, thank you for those insightful reviews of books you haven't read."

"Shop assistant: Can I help you, ma'am?
 * Also, Perry and Meap's brief meeting, made even better by Perry's disturbed expression afterwards.
 * Isabella and the cuteness tracker. Just...all of it...but chiefly the part where she quotes Return of the Jedi.
 * Meap trying to communicate with Candace, including her lampshading his Hammerspace and Comically Missing His Point.
 * The Jerkass security guards.
 * Meap after putting on the universal translator.
 * This part from "Isabella and the Temple of Sap":

Professor Poofenplotz: Yes, can you tell me where you've moved the Stiff Beauty hairspray?

Shop assistant: Oh, sorry, ma'am. That product has been discontinued. As it turns out, only amusement park clowns used it, and ever since the old amusement park closed down, Stiff Beauty just hasn't been selling.

Poofenplotz: Discontinued?

Shop assistant: Discontinued.

Poofenplotz: So, what you're saying is that Stiff Beauty will no longer be sold?

Shop assistant: Yeah, that's what discontinued means.

(Pause)

Poofenplotz: How about I discontinue you, from this dimension! (Zaps the shop assistant with a ray gun, sending her to some other dimension)

Shop assistant: This so isn't worth minimum wage."

"Isabella: So, did you guys decide what patch to get today? 'Cause I have a suggestion.
 * The Fireside Girls' banter from the same episode is priceless.

Adyson: Let me guess, the Help Phineas and Ferb patch?

Isabella: It's called the Help Thy Neighbour patch, Adyson. Don't make up patch names.

Ginger: I already have 52 of those.

Milly: I have 53. Remember, I went back that one afternoon after everyone else went home.

Isabella: I know. Don't remind me."

"Thaddeus: Hey, where's Harry?
 * Isabella's crazy fantasies, one of which ends with Phineas turning into a centaur and them riding off together.
 * "For Phineas! (For Phineas!) And Ferb, too! (And Ferb, too!) And Baljit!" (girl gets one of her badges removed)
 * From "Thaddeus and Thor":
 * Ferb's Covert Pervert routine.
 * The running joke about "the stuff."
 * This bit:

Harry: Yo, over here.

Thaddeus: Well, he is a contractor. They don't do much."

"Linda: Isn't it great? The boys are starting to take an interest in building things!"
 * This line:

"Candace: But you were Lindana and you wanted to have fun!
 * The Ferb/Isabella Ship Tease in "Quantum Boogaloo."
 * "Llama legislation." Nothing more said about that could make it any funnier.
 * Candace trying REALLY hard not to complete the phrase "You're so old."
 * This bit in "Meet Max Modem":

Linda: Well, now I'm Linda and I wanna stir broth."

"Candace: "Woohoo I just sang backup for Lindana!"
 * Am I the only one who thinks that would make a hilarious follow-up single/ Brick Joke?
 * After Lawrence as "Max Modem" makes his big entrance, everyone backstage starts out reluctant, but they all end up convincing themselves that they've heard of him.
 * Perry vs. the automated -inator. "You cannot defeat me, Perry the Platypus. Doctor Doofenshmirtz has programmed me with all of his knowledge of you." (Perry removes hat) "Perry the Platypus, where did you go?"
 * Also this bit:

Linda: "Oh you can call me 'Mom,' sweetie."

Candace: "I just sang backup for Mom... nah, just doesn't have the same ring to it.""

"Busting Candace: Have you seen Candace?
 * From "Perry Lays an Egg," Doof speaking whale.
 * And the fact that Doof's scheme is so pathetic that not even Perry is sticking around for it.
 * "Thwart me, Perry the Platypus!"
 * "Split Personality" gives us many of these, thanks to Candace's two personalities.

Phineas: Yeah, she's in the car with Mom!

Busting Candace: (Squeals like a pig for a minute before chasing Loving Candace)

Phineas: If this machine doesn't just disappear when we're done with it, we should destroy it.

Ferb: Agreed."

"Phineas: What are we staring at?
 * And who could forget this after Doofenshmirtz blasts the Lookawayinator, we get this for Phineas and Ferb:

Ferb: I have no idea."

"(Busting Candace notices the happy one dancing around her room)
 * I'm surprised no one mentioned this bit, which also can belong in another category:

Busting Candace: OMG! (pulls out her cell phone) Mom, Phineas & Ferb made me!

Linda: I'm pretty sure I have stretch marks that say otherwise."

"Doofenshmirtz: Oh, Vanessa, thank goodness you're here! A platypus has tied me up in my own pants!
 * "I want to sing!!"
 * The jolly chuckle that follows this is a CMoF in itself.
 * Just about anything Doof said in "Candace Gets Busted", especially when he was picking dialogue for other things/people to say:
 * Sheila, I love you, but you need to disarm this bomb.
 * I'm a condominium, I'm just standing here.
 * I am a dry-cleaning wheel. WHY DO I EXIST?
 * If you pause just after that part you can read the 'locations' on it. One of the pieces says "skirt".
 * Near the end:

Vanessa: How did my life get to a point where that is not a strange sentence to me?

Doofenshmirtz: [glares] "I'm your daughter. I will stop being sarcastic and untie you.""

"Lawrence:: Would you like to yank my chain?"
 * How can you not mention Lawrence's shower-hat, and the epic henpecked husband joke it sets up?

"Doofenshmirtz: Let me check me check my undesirable location wheel. Stonehenge, Burbank... my pants?"
 * The entire sequence after "I wonder where the party went?"/"Somewhere nice, hopefully". First we get the cut-away gag to reveal that the party had been zapped into Doof's pants, and then his decidedly calm "Well obviously something's amiss". The best part was, undoubtedly:

"Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus! You know, it occurred to me that I should've been fighting fire with fire, and by fire, I mean Perry the Platypus, and by fire, I also mean Perry the Platypus. It occurred to me while I was on fire."
 * From "Cheer up, Candace":

"Short Guy': I'm very small I need a booster.
 * How could you bring up that episode and not mention Jerry the Platypus?
 * The comedy club. Ferb comes out and makes an airline food joke, and the audience bursts out laughing, complete with some guy flipping over a table in a fit of hilarity.
 * How about this bit from the song?

Scared Guy': I'm being followed by a rooster!

Rooster': Yeah, I'm following him."

"Candace: I like your pants.
 * And this too:

Man: (strip) Here, you can take 'em."

"Doofenshmirtz: (After the Mimeinator disappears) ...Sure, why not?"
 * When Perry uses Phineas and Ferb's teleporting device to make Doofenshmirtz's Mimeinator disappear in "Picture This":

"Perry: (taps three times on the window with his heel)
 * Also from "Picture This": A Shout-Out to the Raven.

Doofenshmirtz: Who's tap-tap-tapping? ...Is this that pesky raven again?"

"Oh, BIG surprise, Perry the Platypus! And by surprise, I mean completely... Uh...I got nothing."
 * Doofenshmirtz's twist on his usual banter falls a little flat:

"Buford: Nerd ain't no piñata!"
 * The "There's No Candy In Me" rap at the end of the episode.

"Doofenshmirtz: Behold, Perry the Platypus, Plan B!
 * In 'Just Passing Through', Doofenshmirtz has trouble closing his car door. "Ugh, okay, push up aaand... eeurgh. Hm. ....Those are my keys [still in the ignition], aren't they?"
 * Also:


 * His ray explodes after Doofenshmirtz presses a button*

Doofenshmirtz: ...Which I just destroyed so now we're even. But not even I am prepared for Plan C!"

"Stacy: Repressing basic urges is pretty responsible, isnt' it?
 * Don't forget Bobblehead Perry the Platypus!
 * "What? It's an arts and crafts project. I have a life outside of you!"
 * From "Robot Rodeo":

Candace: Is it ever! Look at my mom!

(Cut to Linda in the kitchen, staring at a large layer cake)

Linda: Cake is a sometimes food. Cake is a sometimes food."

"Phineas: (referring to Candace) I should have her plan my wedding. Ferb, make a note of it.
 * "NOW is sometimes!"
 * Izzy's got the frizzies!
 * From "Candace's Big Day":

Isabella: (off-screen) I got it!"

"Candace: This is a disaster! Look at this cake! It has a chicken in it!
 * And from that same episode:

Aunt Tiana: Oh my.

Candace: And look at my hair! I think it may also have a chicken in it!"

"Man: Aren't you a little young to know about all these old detective shows?
 * And the part where Doofenshmirtz is stuck in the elevator. That annoyed look on his face is priceless!
 * The EPIC string of detective-show references in "Finding Mary McGuffin," capped off with this epic Shout-Out to CSI: Miami:

Phineas: Yes. Yes, we -- (puts on glasses') -- are.

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!

(cut to a pastiche of the CSI Miami opening)"

"Candace: Yeah, who's a good girl?
 * The ending where
 * "Interview with a Platypus": Candace insulting all the animals, then realizing they were able to understand her thanks to Phineas and Ferb's animal translator. They proceed to chase her throughout Danville while upbeat 60's pop music plays.
 * Candace's encounter with Suzy's dog:

Poodle: (Snarls at Candace)

Candace: Obviously not me."

"Candace: If you don't stop that racket, I am SO GONNA BUST YOU... empty backyard?
 * In "The Baljeatles", Baljeet ends up performing a totally rocking heavy metal anthem to conformity and the public school system.
 * And from the same episode:

Stacy: Candace, stop trying to bust your backyard."

"Buford: I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNT nuthin'.
 * In "At The Car Wash", Doofenshmirtz discovers LOLcats. "Look! 'Invisible Cheeseburger'!"
 * The Lair Entrance: The Ride scene from "The Lake Nose Monster". All of it. Perry's complete deadpan reaction to it all combined with the fact that they were going to give him a raise but their focus group (children) liked the ride more than a piece of paper with numbers on it makes it infinite-billion times better.
 * All the Lawrence's stories are just hilarious Noodle Incident after Noodle Incident. But the only that really takes the cake is that he apparently convinced John Lennon that "all you need is a Philip's Head Screwdriver" just doesn't ring true.
 * "The Wizard of Odd"; Everyone claiming that Suzy is dead, despite the fact that Suzy says that she's still alive.
 * The best part is after Isabella gives the red rubber boots to Candace and Suzy whines "Now my feet are cold!"
 * The B-U-S-T-E-D! parody in the credits- R-U-S-T-E-D, you are rusted!
 * "I Want Nothing"

Jeremy: (dressed as a tree) Could ya leave the lumberjack alone?"

""The problem with you is you're completely delusional.""
 * What Phineas says in response.

"Irving: I got in when your mom stopped for gas. I'm just happy to be here!!
 * In the credits, its hidden due to how funny Rusted is, but when it gets to Doof's character, it says Doofenwitch, the witch part which has been scribbled out and replaced with a hand writter "WARLOCK!"
 * This from "Atlantis":

Buford: (deadpan) Wow."

"Irving: At least I got the pictures in my head. Hey! I had my thumb in front of the lens the whole time! Oh, now all I remember is my thumb!"
 * Also, this from the credits:

"Linda: I'll be in the dairy section if you want to yell at some cheese. Would you like that, honey? Would you like to yell at some cheese?
 * From "Rollercoaster: The Musical" Doofenshmirtz rips off his lab coat to a tight pair of leather pants and tank top (with gut protruding in between) to start his musical number, cut back to the utterly HORRIFIED look on Perry's face.
 * Also, this part:

Candace: A little.

Linda: Well, come on then."

"Monogram: Aw, c'mon!"
 * Then comes the scene when she actually yells at some cheese.
 * During the credits, Monogram is annoyed that his song was cut off twice during the episode. After Carl convinces him to try again (citing the last song, Carpe Diem), Monogram begins to sing

"Doof: *is tackled to the ground by Perry* Perry!? How did you escape?
 * In "Backyard Aquarium" Doof has Perry tied up with rope. He turns his back, explaining his plan. The explanation finishes, and we get this:


 * cut to wooden Perry still tied up*

Doof: A decoy? That doesn't even make sense."

"Albert: So tell me about this Eiffel Tower.
 * And then comes an epic Star Wars shout-out.
 * This From "Not Phineas and Ferb"

Baljeet: Well, it's big.

Buford: And Mexican!

Albert: I thought it was French."

"Doofenshmirtz: Hey! This place is nicer than my first apartment!"
 * From the same episode, Doofenshmirtz is shrunk, and Perry puts him inside his fedora:

"Baljeet: (he and Buford are both dressed as Phineas) Okay. We are ready!
 * SPACE ADVENTURE! IT'S AN ADVENTURE IN SPACE!
 * Also, Irving's surprised "What!" after  never fails to make me giggle inside.
 * This one I never cease to get a good laugh out of:

Irving: WHAT? No! No no no, you can't BOTH be Phineas!

Baljeet: That is what I tried to tell him, but he would not listen!

Buford: (takes off his mask) But Phineas gets all the lines."

"Phineas: Ferb you've gotta try this chair. I can't feel my brain.
 * The Training Montage from "Phineas-and-Ferb Busters".
 * "Now I know I have a heart... because it's breaking!" Just the cheerful way Norm says it makes it both sad and hilarious at the same time.
 * Doofenshmirtz's reaction to his new robot turning against him is "an odd mixture of pride and mortal terror! [...] Mostly terror!"
 * Phineas enjoying the massage chair in "Vannessessary Roughness":

Phineas: You know Ferb, I think I know what I want to do every day.

Phineas: (While vibrating) Ferb check it out, my fingers look just like snakes!"

"Suzy: So, Candace, are you ready to have some fun?
 * In "Suddenly Suzy". After Candace has practically puppy-proofed the house, Jeremy brings over his sister, Suzy. As Suzy is an evil little sister, she closes in on Candace with a Slasher Smile. The conversation goes like this.

Candace: No no no, I'm good. I hate fun!

Suzy: I've got a little game we can play!

Candace: G-g-g-game?

Suzy: It's called making...

Candace: Making?

Suzy: Paper...

Candace: (biting her nails) Paper?

Suzy: (in a suddenly happy voice) Dolls!

Candace: PAPER DOLLS?!?!? (registering what Suzy just said) Huh?"

"Baljeet: Can I go?
 * In the same episode, Buford has Baljeet in a baby carrier. That's funny enough but then this happens...

Budford: Well just be careful, 'cause I worry about you."

"Monogram: We're getting very suspicious about Doofenshmirtz. He hasn't ordered any bulk items from the Internet in days. Get over there and put a start to it."
 * Perry's mission briefing.

"Suzy: Hey guys. Whatcha doin'?
 * "Regular Gum!"
 * Isabella's indignation when other characters steal her catchphrase.

Isabella: Um, hello?"

"Candace: Hey boys! Whatcha doin'?
 * Moments later...

Isabella: Ugh, do I even need to be here?"

"Phineas: You know, in retrospect, I may have over-romanticized those memories. Beat But I bet with a little effort, and some unstable uranium isotope, we can make them that much fun!"
 * There's Candance cracking a doe-eyed smile at Phineas, who is justifiably creeped out.
 * Perry's expression when Doof shows him the Carbon Footprintinator. Mostly because you don't usually see Perry that weirded-out.
 * Doofenshmirtz: (After his Carbon Footprintinator accidentally picks up Phineas and Ferb's latest invention.) Oh see, this! This is why I hate nature! It's always getting stuck to your foot!
 * From "Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers": "Go! Go! You're free, little skin-bird!"
 * Phineas's flashback in "Ain't No Kiddie Ride", and his reaction to the rather dull reality:

"Ferb: Well, if you reverse engineer the human heart, you're bound to find love at its core.
 * "Wow, Nostradamus was right."
 * The ending of "What Do It Do?", when the two anti-romance rockets fall in love with each other and fly away.

Buford: And gross, smushy, red stuff!

Ferb: Yes, love and gross, smushy, red stuff.

Irving: And ventricles!

Ferb: Actually, I think ventricles is already included in gross, smushy, red stuff.

Everyone: Yeah..."

"Doof: *leaning over* "HEY, PIERRE!" *ducks back in, snickering* "Did anyone look? I bet, like, half the people down there were looking around, like, 'Who called my name?'""
 * When Perry and Doofenshmirtz are flying over France in the same episode:

"Linda: (Gesturing toward the front yard) There! Tell me that's not terrifying!
 * A little one, but wait for Linda's cry of "Don't touch it!" in "What Do it Do"-- if you pause at the right moment (or are watching for it) you can see that all three of the kids were about to press the button. Yes, even Candace.
 * There's also the part where Linda finally drags Lawrence back to show him the 'thing in the front yard':

Lawrence: (Who can only see Candace dancing) I am so sorry I doubted you."

"Old Coot: New Law! If You find any gold, it's mine!
 * From "She's The Mayor". The Crazy Old Coot. Especially his last appearance in the episode.

Crowd: Hooray for finding gold being a metaphor for... oh wait, I think were supposed to take that literally."

"Guy: Look! a perfect metaphor that we should return to simpler times and values!
 * This:

Candace: That's not exactly what I meant.

Guy: HA! A perfect metaphor for how history teaches us about our future!

Candace: That's pretty good but no.

Guy: It's a metaphor for...

Candace: Not everything is a metaphor!"

"Man: Their lemonade stand is at the grocery store, the book store, and the mall; it's even being served on my favorite airline. Yeah! OH YEAH! WOO! WOOO! LEMONADE! In your face, orange juice! BOO YAH! That's right! BOO-YA! LEMONADE! AH!
 * The boys deciding to build an old-fashioned pioneer town by hand, which starts with them struggling to cut through a log with a band-saw while a painfully slow version of the Quirky Worky Song plays.
 * From "The Lemonade Stand":

Phineas: Okay... No more for that guy."

"Vanessa: Hey Dad, I just got some great lemonade form the new stand on the street. It's really sour on the- (Suddenly slips) Oh!
 * This:

Doofenshmirtz: Ah! Aw! That smarts, Perry the platypus!

Vanessa: Uh Dad, you know he's not here right?

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah I know, but I'm sure it's his fault."

"Candace: (Jeremy's picture appears) Jeremy? No, I can't talk about Jeremy to Jeremy. (Stacy's picture appears) Mad at Stacy. (Jenny's picture appears) Jenny? Pigeons. (Linda's picture appears) Mom? No way. (Buford's picture appears) Yuck! How did he even get in here?! Delete! (deletes Buford's contact) Okay, who else? Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom. Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom. Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom. Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Mom....(a logo that says 'No other contacts' appears on the screen) GASP! How can I only have four friends?! And one of them's my MOM!!!!"
 * While Candace is trying to see who might accompany her to the mall by checking the contacts on her phone:

"Candace: Mom! Stacy! Mom! Stacy! Mom! Stacy! Stom! Macy! Stop it! Mulberry! Shish kebab! Wolverine! Marmalade! Hominahaa..."
 * Candace sees her mother in one direction and Stacy in another, and the need to choose between busting her brothers or making up with her friend breaks her brain:

"Lawrence: Oh, I can't wait to wipe out!
 * From "Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation" (Part 1)

Linda: Dear, wipe out means falling off the board.

Lawrence:Yes, I know.

Candace: Well there's only one thing I'm saying hello-ha to! Relaxing! And taking a break from trying to bust Phineas and Ferb.

(The rest of the family stares at her.)

Candace: What? It's hard work!"

"Man holding a woman's hand: If this wasn't meant to be, someone give me a sign?
 * From Part 2

Candace: (Slams into the window)

Man: Well that's good enough for me. This single guy is out, peace!"

"Doofenshmirtz: Oh no! Now I'm ugly! I'm- (His face is the same) Oh. I get it. Hardy har har."
 * Also from part 2, Candace falling down a waterfall for about ten seconds straight.
 * Candace getting stuck bouncing on the spot on an escalator, and pausing her exclamations of pain to say, "Oh, there you are, Perry".
 * "The Best Lazy Day Ever" had this little gem, where Doofenshmirtz gets hit by his Uglyinator:

"Candace: Face it, you can't do anything unless you're trying to bust them for doing something! And if they're doing nothing, then...WHO IS CANDACE?!?"
 * Also the scene where Candace realizes her entire sense of self-identity is rooted in busting her brothers.

"Phineas: I'm kicking my own butt!"
 * Evil Phineas and Ferb from Candace's imagination. When Candace is trying to rationalize why Phineas and Ferb would be doing nothing, she comes up with the idea that they made statues of themselves to trick her that they weren't doing anything, complete with evil expressions and laughing.
 * And also in the episode "Brain Drain"... Phineas vs. Phineas. Epic win/fail.

"R.I.C.K. (Major Monogram): I'm detecting some strange out-of-character behavior from our mayor recently which has me concerned. Here he is from a news report a year ago. Notice how he waves. It goes side to side, see? Again, side to side. Now here's footage from just two days ago. Watch. See, his hand goes up... and then he transforms into a wolf with fiery red eyes and runs howling into the misty night.
 * Doofenshmirtz uses his de-voilition-ator to put Perry under his control...and has him repeatedly eat gum off the floor.
 * From "Nerds Of A Feather", Doof N Puss. Just....Doof N Puss.
 * Just one of the scenes:

Doofenshmirtz: Now that you've mentioned it, that is unusual for him."

"Candace: All I have to do is get over there without drawing too much attention to myself.
 * And don't forget the random shots of things exploding during the fight against the ninja vampires.
 * Perry's backstory involving being framed for a crime he didn't commit... the 1865 assassination of President Abraham Lincoln.
 * A Shout-Out to the Star Trek films and the pattern of their quality (even numbered: good, odd numbered: poor).
 * The Speckies "transporting" Ferb out of their secret lair in the bathroom.
 * At the beginning of the :

(On the next scene...)

Baljeet: Charge!!!

Candace in Ducky Momo costume: Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack.

(beat)

Candace in Ducky Momo costume: Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack..."

"Irving: What is that thing?!
 * Irving & Baljeet are analyzing the monster that's attacking the convention:

Baljeet: (holding up a black box) I do not know! Those readings make no sense!

Irving: That's a pencil sharpener.

Baljeet: How is that information helpful at this juncture?!"

"Phineas: To quote Lump Sharkboard from Space Adventure 16...glorf.
 * And another:

Angelic Choir: GLORF!"

"Singer: ''(As Perry shoots through a pipe) Perry the Platypus! (Record Needle Scratch as Perry falls through a broken section of the pipe that Carl is repairing)
 * Ferb being able to sneak past the speckies just by hiding under a piece of cloth. (And it doesn't even hide him completely!)
 * The part in "Bowl-R-Ama Drama" where Candace daydreams that busting Phineas and Ferb leads to Jeremy proposing to her. The POV cuts back to reality as she says "I do."
 * As Perry is on his way to his secret hideout...

Carl: Sorry about that, Agent P. (Picks up Perry and throws him through the other pipe before continuing to work on the pipe)

Singer: Herman the Hedgehog! (A secret agent hedgehog falls through the broken section of the pipe)"

"Carl: As I was saying, sir, I may have a solution. Anticipating this exact situation, I built robot replicas of the Flynn-Fletcher family. We can get Agent P to operate the Mr. Fletcher robot until we can replace him with the real Mr. Fletcher!
 * "I Was a Middle-Aged Robot":

Major Monogram: W-wait, you specifically anticipated this kind of situation?

Carl: Yep.

(beat)

Major Monogram: Wow. ...That's a bit creepy, Carl.

Carl: Yes. ...Yes it is."

"Doofenshmirtz: Welcome to my evil SPACE STATION! STATION, STATION, STATION...COOKIE! STATION... Wait, did you hear that? The "cookie" part? I think my echo must be broken.
 * In "The Doof Side of the Moon", how Perry escapes from his trap.
 * The scene where Candace meets Albert. And most scenes with them after that as well.
 * And Doof's Insane Troll Logic scheme, and the ending.
 * The sight gag in the elevator room: a line in the middle of the room with a sign reading "No O2 above this line".
 * There's another in that same room-- in almost every shot in the 'No O2' room, you can spot a mouse hole. The building was built less than an hour previously, which means that the hole was either included in the plans or somebody just thought it would look good there. The inherent silliness of this is always worth a smile.
 * "Would an idiot build... this?! Wait, wait, not that, that's just a cork with a jellybean taped to it. But don't judge it, it's a layered idea!"
 * Then later in the cartoon Perry is unable to stop Doof's scheme because he tripped on the cork with a jellybean taped to it, and Doofenshmirtz boasts "I told you it was a layered idea!"
 * In "We Call It Maze":

Doofenshmirtz: ...and with this Tiltinator and I'm gonna do it all in space! SPACE... SPACE... COOKIE... SPACE... There, there it was again? Did you hear that? My second to last echo is broken, I'm going to have that checked."

"Buford: Hey, I never got my metaphor cheese! cheese, cheese, cheese...wombat! cheese... Hmm. My echo must be broken."
 * Later on...

"Buford: I am to metaphor cheese as metaphor cheese is to transitive-verb crackers."
 * And...

"Stacy: It's not my ferret!"
 * There's this in "The Secret Of Success" when Candace wakes Stacy up:

"Lawrence: This is a brilliant work of satire. It's my new favorite show!"
 * And there's the literal Manatee Gag during the song.
 * Speaking of songs, there's Doof's song during the telethon.
 * Lawrence's reaction to the telethon is priceless.

"Doofenshmirtz: Okay, but the aliens are on their way.
 * From "The Lizard Whisperer", this exchange:

Jeremy: Okay. Tell them I said hi."

"Pharaoh Guy: Excuse me. Are you Candace Gertrude Flynn?
 * The credits of "Hip Hip Parade". After Candace breaks her vow about not obsessing with the boys that day, she is faced with the pharaoh's curse!

Candace: Yes.

Pharaoh Guy: Curse you. (leaves)

Linda: I tried to warn you, honey."

"Baljeet (dressed as a vegetable samosa): (runs up to balloon salesman) Please! My bully is in trouble! Let go of all of your balloons!
 * Also from that episode, when Buford is falling from the sky:

Balloon Salesman: Yeah, okay. (simply releases every single one of his hundreds of balloons)

Baljeet: Thank you!

Balloon Salesman: No, thank you, vegetable samosa."

"Rodney: See this? It's my hand; you can talk to it.
 * This exchange from rivals Doof & Rodney in "Nerdy Dancin'"

Doofenshmirtz: All right. Hey hand (singing) my evil dancing's better than yours! It's like you're stuck in a canoe, but you've got no oar. See you on the dance floor (leaves).

Rodney: (angrily) Nobody talks to my hand that way!"


 * Personally, I got a kick out of the fact that this time it was Jeremy who was worried about disappointing Candace, when it's pretty much always the other way around for them.
 * Also, the first appearance of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., that is all.
 * "Oh, There You Are, Perry" is known more for its heartwarming aspects, but it has several funny moments as well. For starters, Perry mockingly imitating Candace after she throws him out.
 * Perry replacing himself with a log when he has to leave Ferb's bed in the middle of the night.
 * Everything involving the Regurgitator's lightning effect.
 * The return of Marty the Rabbit Boy.
 * Phineas being able to tell apart all the seemingly identical platypuses in Danville from Perry, and one of his reasons for dismissing one being "too cartoony". Also, the last platypus turning out to be a duck with a beaver tail taped on.
 * Even the thoroughly heartwarming song of the episode has one when Candace sings about changing her name to Larry because she ran out of rhymes.
 * A rather subtle one in "Hide and Seek" - you need to pay attention for this one. At the start of the episode when Isabella suggests they talk about their feelings, she catches Ferb's attention. When Phineas and Isabella share gazes, he then however awkwardly looks away.

Season 3
"Isabella: Oh, my, gosh.
 * "Last Train to Bustville" gives us the dodo. NARG NARG NARG NARG NARG
 * And there's the Opening Shout-Out, the "Give Up" song, the awkward silence between Lawrence and Clyde, the forced perspective gag...the list goes on.
 * Jeremy asleep on the couch from the Season 3 premiere "Canderemy". Seeing Candace's normally calm and unflappable boyfriend like that... Can't... stop... laughing...
 * Also, this from when Doofenshmirtz's Combine-inator ends up fusing Phineas and Ferb together, just when Phineas and Isabella are about to go see a movie together:

Phineas: Hey! Does this mean we can all go now?

Ferb: Yes. Yes it does."

"Doofenshmirtz (who's fused with Norm): I think we're in trouble.
 * The triple-scoop roach cone. "So cold..."
 * This exchange, after Perry is hit with the Combine-inator and fused with a toolbox.

Norm: Sure, now it's "we"."

"(Doof and Norm get fused with a refrigerator.)
 * This exchange:

Norm: (opening the fridge door) Would you like a frosty beverage?

Doofenshmirtz: (slams the fridge door shut) Hey, that's private!"


 * From the same episode, my personal favorite is with.

"Disembodied Reggae Space Voice: We left the marshmallows at home. I blame Baljeet.
 * In "Moon Farm", Baljeet gets into an argument with the singer of "Lunar Taste Sensation" over whether or not it's his fault that they didn't have any marshmallows for rocky road ice cream.
 * "Baljeet, could you please stop arguing with the soundtrack?"
 * On top of all of that, when the song repeats for the credits, we're treated to this exchange:

Baljeet: Hey, I thought we discussed this earlier!"


 * When Doof tries to get help with growing his plants, he tells us how the store owner yelled at him because he doesn't have a green thumb, he should stop asking him questions, and "My mere presence in the store was killing his plants".
 * Also his face when he realizes that "green thumb" is a metaphor.
 * Also when he
 * Followed shorty by a jetpack-induced wedgie when he insists that he doesn't need help looking like a fool.
 * Candace and Stacy's increasingly screwed-up attempts at making lamb cobbler. And when Stacy tries applying some Oven Logic...

"Our song is synchronic, not the least bit ironic. What you hear is exactly what you see"
 * The song in "Ask a Foolish Question".

"Monogram: Oh... the Marsh Maneuver! I haven't seen one of those since 1974!
 * "Why does everything explode so easily?"
 * Candace's reaction to  is just priceless.
 * From "Misperceived Monotreme", the scene when Irving gets hit by Doofenshmirtz's Least-Likely-inator. Just... all of it.
 * The Disney Acid Sequence that is the fun house.
 * Doof's fight with the wild platypus who was mistaken for Perry.
 * This exchange:

Carl: '74? You had a perm back then!

Monogram: STAY OFF THE INTERNET, CARL!!!"

"Doofenshmirtz: CURSE YOU, PERRY THE-- (phone rings and he answers it) Hello? Oh, hi, Vanessa. Yes that was my -inator. Listen honey, I'm in the middle of something, hold on one second. (yells) --PLATYPUS! (to Vanessa) So, how was class?"
 * Dance, Baby! in "Candace Disconnected" will completely crack you up, especially if you don't see it coming at all the first time it happens (and you likely won't).
 * Even if you don't bust up laughing, there, you will once you see/hear the actual lyrics. Case in point: "Never eat a cactus if you're out of practice".
 * Doofenshmirtz getting interrupted at the end of the episode:

"Stacy: Why do you want to do this, Candace?
 * Norm's sarcastic prototype head has some pretty amusing lines.
 * Monogram trying to figure out text messaging.
 * Perry's complete deadpan in response to seeing Lawrence and the boys fly past, riding on the living room floor, in "Magic Carpet Ride" was fantastic. You'll believe a platypus can be the Only Sane Man.
 * The song that plays as Norm is starting his day in "A Real Boy". It's so wacky and off-kilter, yet cheerful as can be...much like the show itself. Norm's perpetual grin and love of making "crunchy eggs" makes the whole thing even more hysterical.
 * Candace and Stacy's exchange about her hypnotism plan.

Candace: I have to meet Jeremy in the park today, but I can't go unless I get this busting out of my head!

Stacy: But hypnotism? It's just so 1843 of you.

Candace: 1843?

Stacy: You know, 1843 when James Brade published the "Rationale of Somnambulism" in which he invented the term "hypnotism", named after the Greek god, Hypnos.

Candace (in a stunned tone): How do you even know that?

Stacy: It's written on your poster. Apparently he also invented the comb-over. Freaky.

Candace: (still stunned): Why would I have bought that poster?"

""Hey Ferb, did you ever notice that the sidewalk is filled with little sparkly bits?""
 * Candace managing to show her mom Phineas and Ferb's big project... only for Linda to get shot by Doof's "Forget-About-It-Inator".
 * "Phineas And Ferb Interrupted" is one giant CMOF, mainly "The amazing world of lint" and Perry's scowl during his and Doof's portion of the blueprint song (which is only made funnier by the latter's goofy expression during the same number).
 * While we're at it-- the surveillance footage from the beginning of "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted" is a great Continuity Nod, after the "We've got hours of that" gag from back in Misperceived Monotreme-- the whole, 'we've got surveillance cameras planted in every square inch of Doof's building' thing (including the bathroom)-- but it gets even better when you realize that this time Heinz is singing "He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of ACTION!"
 * The fact that Dull-and-Boring!Phineas is utterly fascinated by completely random stuff.

"Lawrence: (while listening to the tape "Trucker Songs: 1975-1975") Oh, play track three, it's the one where a group of truckers take down a corrupt police force using only their trucks and their saucy colloquialisms!"
 * The Blueprints song, all of it, really, from Candace and Buford being so oddly cheerful, to the ending with Doof as Uncle Sam and Perry as Lady Liberty...
 * And just to cap the whole thing off, Dynamic Linda.
 * "Road Trip" is hysterical. Candace sleep-busting, the boys building a truck stop on the roof of their RV, and Doof attempting to use a radio system all deserve credit. But Lawrence pushes everything into hilarity. Repeatedly.

"Vanessa: (upon seeing Perry dressed as a bear, trying to scare the campers) Really, Perry? Really? I expected better of you.
 * When Candace discovers the truck stop, she starts her usual rant on busting them...while acting as a waitress. And then going through an entire musical montage being the waitress before slow realization hits her.
 * "Skiddly Whiffers" was one giant CMoF-- between all of the ridiculous (moreso than usual) scenarios Perry was shoved into (being forced into a shirt with Carl in a heart on it and a bear suit, among others) and the following exchanges:

Perry: *hangs head in shame*"

"Candace: Mom, mom, mom! Look what Phineas and Ferb built!
 * And

Linda: You're right, Candace, call the authorities. It's a cube."

"Phineas: Come on, Baljeet! Don't let a little thing like all your male ancestors getting mauled by tigers during a bicycle race get you down."
 * How about the fact that, prior to that exchange, Linda was washing a human skull in the kitchen sink?
 * From "Tour de Ferb":

"Phineas: Cool! It's like a birthday adventure! But hey, where's Ferb?
 * Adyson's delirium in "The Great Indoors" provides some of the funniest moments in Season 3. When she's recovering from heat and/or sun stroke, she says "The salamanders have finally stopped singing." Later, she says "The salamanders are back!" after a rock hits her on the head, even though the rocks in Phineas and Ferb's artificial environment are made of paper mâché.
 * If I had a nickel for every funny bit in "Phineas' Birthday Clip-o-Rama"...

(scene goes to outside, where Ferb puts on Perry's hat and walks out the fence)

Background singers: Ferb!"

"Baljeet: I need better clips."
 * "My Blow-Itself-Up-inator!" *boom*
 * Actually, pretty much all of the extra clips put into each clip montage that weren't part of any previous episodes. Like the image of evil Lawrence and Linda imitating Candace's laugh.
 * The entirety of Baljeet's compilation.

"Doofenshmirtz: Oh great, you broke it! Now the non-inator is pointing in the ''wrong direction! The wrong direction!
 * Not to mention the domino effect of utter chaos that occurs because of the video-beam-hijack-non-inator hitting the instructional video. That part had me in stitches.

(Cut to a man working on pipes while watching an instructional video)

Man on video: When fixing pipes, make sure the arrow is pointing in--

(The non-inator's ray zaps the TV)

Doofenshmirtz on TV: --the wrong direction! The wrong direction! The wrong direction I tell you!

(Pipe builds up and explodes)"

"Lawrence: I'm awesome, you're not! I'm awesome, you're not!"
 * Isabella using "the magic of digital editing" to make Phineas' voice say various things, like "We'll be together forever, Isabella" or propose marriage to her. Even funnier since Candace walks in on her doing this.
 * Phineas having flashbacks to various clips and the other characters asking if they were supposed to see something.
 * The montage of odd sentences.
 * "...I guess I could buy a candy bar."
 * "My Fair Goalie" is another treasure trove of CMOFs:
 * The numerous dramatic zooms. DUN DUN DUN!
 * Buford "correcting" Ferb's British cousins on identifying a football.
 * "I once saw Ferb play an entire game of soccer using a pumpkin, and he didn't even break it! To this day, his motivation for doing so remains shrouded in mystery."
 * "'Anglophile'? I thought your family was from Wisconsin!"
 * "Philosophers... get a job, thinky-boy!"
 * Candace's thought on practicing posture by balancing books on your head: "I don't get it. Do people not have bookshelves in your country?"
 * How about Jeremy finally catching on and messing with Candace's head? He gets some grade-A snarking in before she decides 'To heck with it' and abandons her latest ploy to impress him. It's actually rather heartwarming in its own right.
 * This episode shows just how special the Doof - OWCA relationship is. Doof has to call OWCA sick in case he has a flu.
 * He might not have to call in. He takes the nemesis relationship very seriously, and probably calls in sick to be polite. So Perry doesn't waste his time while Doof isn't being evil.
 * Oh and Palindrome Scandal!
 * "Nostrils on the bus!"
 * Lawrence's victory dance.

"Carl: I saw a rat give birth...to a SNAIL!"
 * "No, the curse is broken. Sometimes you just miss."
 * During the 'You're totally messing with me!' sequence, you can occasionally see the football game being played in the background. It's just a little thing, but it's hilarious to see Phineas, Ferb, one of the Peles and one of the Beckhams darting past over and over while Candace is learning a 'valuable' lesson.
 * While we're on the subject of BLAMs, Shot in the Butt with a Dart will elicit a few giggles, if for no other reason than the abrupt ending-- but if you watch the video of it, you can see exactly how accurate Doof was with the "Seventeen seconds" crack.
 * Another great bit from "Bad Hair Day" is Carl's traumatized reaction to spending time in Doof's basement.

"Phineas: I think that's dad.
 * For that matter, Monogram messing with Carl's head by touching Carl's ear, leading him to a believe that there was a brown recluse on him was worth a chuckle, as well.
 * The weird bird in "Meatloaf Surprise." It was amusing anyway, but Perry's reaction sealed the deal.
 * There's quite a bit about the Meatloaf song. It becomes absurdly hilarious to ponder what lyrics are being used in such a music style and the surrealist pictures help.
 * Phineas's inspirational speech, with newspaper (one of which sticks onto Phineas's body for a moment), a bird, and a sink blowing past in the background. And him ending the speech with, "Where's Perry?"
 * Not to mention we see that the windy effect is being generated artificially by Ferb with an electric fan.
 * "Bullseye!" is so funny it had CMOFs posted here before it had even aired.
 * Evil Lawrence. That's exactly as funny as it sounds.
 * The boys' reactions to seeing him acting evil in an evil event are amusingly nonchalant.

Ferb: (Beat) What was the topic of his lecture, again?

Phineas: Hi, Dad!

(After he's been returned to normal)

Phineas: So, how did it go, Dad?

Lawrence: I'm not absolutely sure boys, but I think I just became the king of the pharmacists.

Phineas: Awesome!"

"Doofenshmirtz: Hey, that's my Make-Everything-Evil-Inator!
 * All of the Contrived Coincidence in "Bullseye!" makes it all the better. Especially Palindrome Lane and Lawrence's entry in the swimwear competition (...and the fact that he wore his bathing suit to the lecture, actually) "Inspired by the Klimpaloon!"

Rodney: No, it's my Make-Everything-Evil-Izer.

Doofenshmirtz: You're a jerk, you know that?"

"Rodney: I didn't think anyone could be more incompetent at being evil than you.
 * How about Doof forgetting what L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N stands for and dissolving into gibberish? Even better if you've done the same thing with the acronym prior to watching.
 * And especially funny when you remember that he's the one that made the name up in the first place.
 * Candace's line, "I hate when she does 'cshhhhhh'!" Somehow, it's not hard to believe that it's happened before.
 * Lawrence's general ineptitude for evil falls squarely between CMOF and Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. Even he realizes that he's doing things horribly wrong. Rodney and Doof comment on this phenomenon:

Doof: Me neither."

"Doof: I thought this was the talent competition!"
 * Dr. Doofenshmirtz (unintentionally?) replicating his humiliating video.

"Dr. Diminutive: (He's been disqualified for being too short) You can't do that!
 * "I'm Dr. Diminutive, and I don't have a Napoleon complex...Napoleon had a me complex!"
 * You had to see it coming a mile away, but this exchange from the musical number was worth a laugh, too:

Singers: YES! WE! CAN!

Dr. Diminutive: Why?

Singers: 'Cause we're evil!"

"Doof: I am getting married...again! [Mechanical Mother explodes]"
 * Lawrence popping up through the floor as the evil scientists finish their musical number.
 * Doof effortlessly winning the "Mechanical Mother" round of the competition (especially funny because he's confident that he'll win this one):

"Baljeet: Actually, there is no scientific evidence for the existence of ghosts.
 * From "That's the Spirit"

Buford: What do you know? You're a daffodil.

Baljeet: Daisy...

Buford: Case closed!"

"Phineas (all in pitch-darkness): Don't panic anyone.
 * Also this little gem:

Isabella (sweetly): How can I panic when I'm holding your hand?

Buford: I think that's my hand.

Isabella: EW!"

"Vampire Jared: We loved each other.
 * The epic Twilight spoof at the start of "The Curse of Candace". All of it.

Kristen: Yes. Yes we did.

Vampire Jared: We did and--wait a minute, wasn't he wearing a shirt?"

"Ferb: Sounds like a vampire to me. (Starts walking away)"
 * The name of the Twilight spoof as well: "Early Evening".
 * Then Stacy and an usher casually chat while Candace is being attacked by a bat and rolling around in hysterics.
 * Lawrence watches a horror movie and laments the lack of rock-and-roll musical numbers. Also an epic Actor Allusion.
 * In the same episode, we're shown Ferb's version of helping Candace, when she finally finds the boys (which is an awesome Call Back to "Greece Lightning", by the way.)

"Jeremy: (holding Candace's mp3 player) Vat about your music box mit ze Tiny Cowboy?"
 * Candace being afraid (for good reason) of villagers.
 * Gimmelschtump!Jeremy, oh goodness, his accent.

"Phineas: I know what you mean, Ferb. It does seem like more than 104 days."
 * The hilarious lampshading:

"Phineas: (beat) Okay Ferb, we're gonna need a dustpan and some glue."
 * Candace inexplicably disintegrating after exposure to the sun right after Phineas insists that she won't.

"Baljeet: Legally speaking, what is our liability here?"
 * From "Escape from Phineas Tower":

"Isabella: Why did you install a hot tub in this [the potato maker]?
 * Also from this episode: Isabella, Buford and and Baljeet talking about how worried they are in a totally uncaring tone of voice, all while covering the sleeping Candace in whipped cream and cards.
 * The Stinger to Lotsa Latkes.
 * While it's not overly funny in and of itself, the premise and presentation of the song was absolutely hilarious. "Frenemies".
 * "You are pluralizing 'at'?" "Work with me, brain boy!"
 * There's also this little exchange:

Phineas: I think the real question is 'Why wouldn't we install a hot tub?'"

""(Gasp) Canduk mak a foomfa!""
 * And the ending of the episode itself, after Ferb's obligatory line. Earlier in the episode, there was a throwaway gag about a list of "S words seldom used by children" (I know, I know, it's not what you're thinking.) At the end of the episode, Phineas uses another word on the list and it's just something about Ferb's absolute deadpan as he crosses it off that makes it hilarious.
 * From "Ferb Latin", the normally inexpressive Norm doing an Eye Take and his mouth falling off when Dr. Doofenshmirtz informs him that he does, in fact, have a self-destruct button.
 * "Hey... where's... Spatula?"
 * The kids practicing saying "goodbye" in Ferb Latin, which involves blowing raspberries. For several seconds straight. Made funnier when Irving shows up randomly to join in.
 * "I don't think we have anything to say to each other! Not after the..." *sniffle* "...JAZZ HANDS!"
 * During Isabella's Song "Let It Snow" in the Christmas episode, Isabella kisses a Phineas shaped snowman which caused it to melt.
 * The caveman speak in "Tri-Stone Area" is amusing.

"Dan: How about Zu-bu-da-yia, zu-bu-da-yia.'
 * All of Dan and Swampy's photo animation scenes. Especially the end, when they realize they need their Once an Episode song and make one up on the spot, which eventually turns into a caveman version of "Gitchee Gitchee Goo".

Swampy: Do it again."

"Gurb: I guess we should wait until tomorrow until we tell them about our new language.
 * This exchange:

Phineagrunk: Yes, yes we should."

"Buford: You know what I hate about the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness, just to get there you have to cross the Uncrossable River of Uncrossableness.
 * From "Doof Dynasty"

Baljeet: Who names all these things?

Buford: That guy over there, the Redundant Scribe of Redundantness."

"Bufavalous: Mother always said if all the other kids were jumping off a cliff I should do it too.
 * During the musical number Baljeet tries to break a board. Instead he somehow breaks the cinder blocks the board is placed on, while the board itself remains in the air.
 * The ripple effect/flashback Running Gag.
 * The constant Lampshading in the "Epic Monster Battle" song from "Excaliferb".
 * Carl trying to insert himself into the end of the story as the ultimate hero.
 * Malifishmirtz explains why he wants to take over the Tri-Kingdom area, while walking down an enclosed stone spiral staircase. The first time he enters his voice is muffled, then he exits speaks clearly, goes back into the staircase and is muffled again. He comes out with his hand covering his mouth mumbling into it. The he says the mumbling is what "I said because I had a gag over my mouth."
 * This exchange:

Baljeetalous: Your mother said that?

Bufavalous: She was not a nurturer."

""Behold evil wizard Malifishmirtz, I hold the sword Excaliferb. This mystical vorpal blade was given to me by The Lady of the Puddle. Get a good look at it, for it is the instrument of your demise! (The blade of the sword falls off the hilt) Well, uh, okay. So big deal, the end comes off.""
 * Ferb-a-lot's speech.

""You mean we're not in Egypt? I thought the pyramids looked awfully stair-steppy.""
 * Literal cliffhanger.
 * Baljeet as Legolas.
 * Poofenplotz as the troll that guards the bridge.
 * "Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon" has some hilarious running jokes: the fezzes, Isabella's business cards, and the slow clapping.

"Narrator:
 * Also, Perry's entrance to the temple, and the Fez Dispenser.
 * An expansion on Isabella's business cards gag, later she's revealed to be working with Doof to keep her mother safe (somewhat). After Phineas's 'dirty double-crosser' remark, she hands him a card saying she forgot to give him that one. It reads 'Dirty Double-Crosser'. Phineas then gives the fourth wall a completely deadpan -_- look.
 * The entire In Medias Res begining of "The Remains of the Platypus". How does it start? We've got a Doofensmirtz in his underwear (with an evil jingle to go with it), Perry the Butler spinning a giant hamster wheel, Karl locked up in a cage and dressed as a squirrel, a bunch of Buckingham guards and a midget dressed up as an alien dancing to techno music, a strangely bloated Monogram, and Linda delivering Perry's hat to Doof's apartment, reflecting that things couldn't get any weirder.
 * Who is seconds later proven wrong when Candace calls her to inform her that "The cheese is still here, but the people have fled en mass".
 * When Karl dressed as a squirrel is caged by Doofensmirtz, he uses the metaphor of it being like a delivery man dropping a bunch of assorted cheeses on his lawn. When an actual delivery man does just that, Phineas remarks its like " a caged guy in a squirrel costume". Both note that they are strange metaphors, but they're standing by them.
 * The Fire Side Girls are getting their Flying Delivery Patches again, prompting some delicious snark among them.
 * All of Buford's cheese puns were so gouda.
 * Two words: Bloated. Monogram.
 * All of Ferb TV. All of it. Especially...

Doofensmirtz:

Narrator:"

"Extra doof head: Curse you Pe--
 * "Mom's in the house" had so many moments, but one highlight is near the end, when one of Doofenshmirtz' extra heads falls off the building and on to the street below. As it questions why it couldn't have disappeared in a puff of smoke before it landed, this happens:

(The head poofs out of existence)

Doof looking from above: Well now we'll never get to know what it had to say!!!"

"Candace: There is a madness to my method!"
 * Candace trying to explain herself to Stacy and completely messing up the phrase.

"Isabella: Phineas, go!
 * During the "Perrytron" song, Phineas, Ferb and the gang dramatically make their eyes go in two different directions like Perry does.
 * Buford giving tours of Candace's mind in "The Monster From the Id" as well as the reveal that Candace is afraid of the number 7.
 * Major Monogram giving Perry Puppy Dog Eyes in "Perry the Actorpus" as he asks him to help Agent S, followed by him lampshading that he can't hold his eyes that way any longer.
 * Doofenshmirtz making derogatory remarks about big bushy mustaches while speaking to Monogram.
 * Candace giving a calm, inspirational speech after noticing Phineas and Ferb's project about being mature and overcoming her desire to bust her brothers, only to end it on the note that she's going to bust them anyway without changing tact. The others at the "Stop the Busting" workshop don't realize what she actually said until she leaves and gives her their full support.
 * The "Half a Day" montage showing how Phineas and Ferb spend their time with Perry, including Ferb holding up Perry so Perry can throw a frisbee back to Phineas with his mouth, followed by Phineas catching the frisbee with his mouth.
 * Doofenshmirtz's regular traps not working on Sergei the Snail, due to Agent S being either small enough to slip through them or sticking to trapdoors with its slime.
 * Phineas and Ferb revealing the "Antius Maximus" ant farm they built in "Gi-Ants", only for the scene to cut to a regular-sized ant farm. Phineas then explains it's just a scale model and reveals the real Antius Maximus just beside them, which causes the others to wonder why they didn't notice it earlier.
 * As a variation of the running gag where a bird flies into Phineas and Ferb's invention, a fly crashes into the regular-sized ant farm.
 * “You know what I like about our friends? We say things like, ‘We’re going to douse you in ant pheromones’, and they’re just like, ‘Okay, whatever.’ They’re so cool.”
 * During 'Bully Bromance Breakup', Phineas slowly going into a Heroic BSOD as Baljeet denies him the opportunity to invent something. Especially the part where they were mountain climbing.
 * Ferb dropping his blue-prints in horror when Baljeet first announces that no inventions would be used.
 * Also, the relief it gives Phineas and Ferb when they finally conquer the mountain and have permission to make something.

Phineas: ICE CHALET!!! (runs off at the speed of light)

Ferb: If we hadn't been able to invent something soon, I was going to scream."

"Isabella: You need to pace yourself...you're gonna get the bends or something."
 * And just a little bit later:

"Isabella: How are you feeling, Phineas?
 * And when they're in the ice chalet:

Phineas: (relaxing in a hot tub made of ice) Calming down now, calming down."

"Candace: Mom, look! I'm in mortal danger! Say hi, Ferb!
 * The 'Druselstein Driving Test Waltz' portion of "The Doonkleberry Imperative". Doofenshmirtz's driving and Perry's reaction made the whole episode.
 * Adding to it is Perry being so scared for his life that he secures himself with several extra seatbelts and later writes out his will.
 * Monogram's talking letter. Especially seeing Perry's reaction to it.
 * When Vanessa takes Candace to the Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.! building, she does the jingle.
 * "Curse you, conceptual elasticity of space-time!"
 * "Meapless in Seattle" had too many moments to count, but we'll give it a go anyway:
 * The alien army marching - to cute, friendly music.
 * This bit:

Ferb: *waves*"

"Major Monogram: I want your hat on my desk!...Cuz it rains a lot in Seattle, and we want to spray it with this cool new waterproofing treatment."
 * The Star Wars-esq beginning, lampshading that the trailer seen in Chronicles of Meap was meant as a joke but everyone took it seriously. At the end of the episode they show another trailer for another episode they have no intention of making.
 * Since the writers were more or less forced to incorporate the seemingly unrelated scenes from the first trailer, some pretty priceless scenes were made. Those scenes savored how contrively incorporated they are. Special mention goes to Perry's mission briefing.

""How will we know when we get to Seattle?"  ~cue driving rain and Grunge music~"
 * While we're at it, all of the jokes about how much it rains in the northwest. Anybody who lives there can shamelessly tell you that they're absolutely true.

"Mitch: How homely were you to start with?"
 * Linda's French lesson telling her basically all the things Candace would be telling her at that moment, complete with her lampshading it, asking when those sentences would ever turn up in a conversation.
 * Cute Doof. That is all.
 * But a specific part would be that ingesting the cuteonium is supposed to make someone so cute they are impossible to resist. For Doof... Well, he's cute at least.

""Awwww, they're blasting away at each other with really cute death rays!""
 * Phineas under the influence of Meap's cuteness.

"Meap: He's getting a serious time out this time. Fifteen, sixteen minutes."
 * Cue
 * Apparantly, the worst punishment you can receive on Meap's planet is a time out. Yes, like the kind you give toddlers.

"Phineas: Well, y'know how we do something new every day?
 * How about during the beginning, when Isabella does her 'Whatcha doing?' rountine, Phineas and Ferb just pick her up and haul her away like she's a rag doll? And how about the fact that she doesn't mind at all?
 * Meap's many Translation Mustaches.
 * The return of Doof's affair with Peter the Panda, and Perry's subsequent angry look and crossed arms like a spouse catching their husband on a coffee date with their ex.
 * In "Ballad of Paul", We have Love Handel turning everything they hear or see into a song.
 * From the Mom attractor, we get this moment with Candace and her brothers.

Candace: (Pulling a priceless false-shocked expression) Noo...

Beat

Phineas: ...Oh, well, we try to build some big project, or do something-

Candace: I'm aware of the concept, Phineas, I was just being sarcastic.

Phineas: ...Really? Hey, that was pretty good. Wow, I totally fell for it. Ferb, I totally fell for it!"

"Rodrigo: Wait, you can understand him?
 * "There's too many mommies! Do something!"
 * Lawrence getting a blowtorch to make Linda a creme brule.
 * Actually, kitchen blowtorches are fairly common and have many uses. In this case, they're used to caramelize the sugar on top of the brulee into a delicious hard crust.
 * Perry gets to Doof's lair via a gorilla and a festive fruit hat. Watch the episode for context.
 * Candace's Awesome Dance which Phineas and Ferb join in on. Awesome, Awesome, Awe-some!
 * Absolutely everything about Beljeet's Drunk On the Dark Side spiel in "Cranius Maximus is hysterical.
 * Isabella being thuroughly nonchalant about the fact that the building they are in is literally counting down to the Armageddon while Baljeet panics like a maniac.
 * Doof Completely Missing the Point about the key to the city.
 * "Minor Monogram" had quite a few CMOFs.
 * Baljeet reacting positively about Autumn coming soon while everyone else doesn't care.
 * This exchange:

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, heck no. I usually just pretend he's talking about recent movies I've seen."


 * Perry's reaction to
 * Doofenshmirtz referring to Vanessa's Goth/punk fashion style as "vampire pilgrim scuba-diver".
 * In "Agent Doof", the O.W.C.A. can't refuse to recruit Doofenshmirtz based on his species because he was adopted by ocelots and thus is technically an ocelot. What really sells it is that the agency only employing animals and Doof having been raised by ocelots were both already well established facts before the episode.
 * In "What A Croc", during the song where they're chasing after the titular croc, the kids are all paired up on motorboats (including Phineas and Isabella). During the song though, they repeatedly go through tunnels... and come out in completely different pairs than they had when they entered. In addition, the motorboats they're riding on are different colors each time this happens. No one says anything about it, but the confused 'How did THAT happen?' looks are what sell it.

Specials and Miscellaneous
"Major Monogram: Carl! Stop filming your butt!
 * From "Phineas and Ferb: Christmas Vacation": "Follow me!"
 * Linda muttering a quick "Forgive me, boys," before asking Candace how Phineas and Ferb are doing, putting her into "bust 'em" mode and distracting her from her worries about finding the perfect gift for Jeremy.
 * The sightings of Santa Claus that echo the famous Patterson Footage of Bigfoot, the Surgeon's Photograph of Nessie, and the stock picture of the Shroud of Turin.
 * And this:

(Carl points camera at Monogram's rear)

Major Monogram: Film mine! It's a party! Wah-hey!"

"Candace: That's not helping!
 * Isabella can clairvoyantly sense when someone elsewhere is using her catchphrase.
 * Buford saying "It's not a clubhouse?" somehow gets funnier every time, as does Candace laughing when people mention letters to Santa.
 * That little rap thing Candace sings after "That Christmas Feeling".
 * Candace constantly translating her metaphors into literal terms... including "metaphors" she didn't even use.
 * Ferb hands Phineas a blueprint, causing Phineas to turn away and yell in protest. Ferb flips the blueprint right side up, upon which Phineas calms down and says, "Oh, yeah. That's it!"
 * "Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs to You!" provides many a CMOF:
 * The "You're Watching Television" gag. WIN.
 * What is the first thing that happens when Phineas and Ferb arrive in Tokyo? CARAMELLDANSEN! And look for Isabella with a leek.
 * "Man, Tokyo's a fun town!" "I have no idea what just happened."
 * The Klimpaloon. That is all.
 * "NANG NANG NANG NANG NANG"

(Klimpaloon looks around and walks off, depressed)"

"Mime: Hey, everyone! I can talk!"
 * "GET ON THE TRIKE!"
 * (Water splashes on a mime, removing his make-up)

"Phineas: Look! A sponge and a starfish! There's gotta be something we can make out of this! (tosses them away) Oh no, that's ridiculous!"
 * Let's not forget this reference.

"Phineas: Vanessa, you rented a scooter!
 * The continuing trend of Vanessa's evilness:

Vanessa: Uh...yeah...rented...

(moments later we see a flyer for a missing scooter)"

"Phineas: Hey, Ferb. Where's Vanessa?
 * Isabella's reaction to Phineas in Paris. After her (somewhat depressing) song "The City of Love", in which Phineas obliviously rebukes her advances, the whole gang meets back up at the boat except for Vanessa, and...well...

Ferb: She went off with someone else.

Phineas: That's too bad. I thought the two of you, you know, a boy, a girl, alone in the City of Love. I thought romance was a forgone conclusion.

Isabella: *growls and tightens her fist until the pencil she's holding breaks*

Phineas: Isabella, did you say something.

Isabella: I need a new pencil."

"Speaker: OK, who's the wise guy?!"
 * This CMOF is immediately topped when the very next scene repeats the exchange almost word-for-word with Candace instead of Ferb, and Isabella's head explodes!
 * "I jump, therefore I am" "I dangle, therefore I am"
 * Phineas and friends interrupting the 27th Annual Substitute Teacher Day... by flying a giant paper airplane over the proceedings.

"Buford: Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by the imagination.
 * "I hate being a sailor."
 * This:

Baljeet: Voltaire, Buford? Really?

Buford: Oh, I can't help it. Paris does it to me every time."

"Buford: Here's Ferb's, here's Isabella's, and here's -- a recumbent? Really?
 * And a later exchange, during the high-energy race at the end when Buford gives everyone back their bikes:

Baljeet: Studies say it is better for your back.

Buford: How come I don't have to stand in line to bully you?"

"Candace: Well, you know when you know someone and you see they have another life away from you and it feels weird?
 * "So, Candace, what is "Ferb" short for?" "... I... don't know!"
 * And this part:

Phineas: Like when you see your teacher at a grocery store weird? Or like when someone you've known for a long time starts wearing a cowboy hat weird?

Candace: The... the first thing weird.

Phineas: That's good, because I was thinking about getting a cowboy hat."

"Candace: Do you know what they have in France?
 * Stacy displaying her lack of knowledge of geography:

Stacy: The pyramids?"

"Candace: Oh, and Stacy; pyramids, really?
 * And later:

Stacy: Oh right. That's in Belgium, isn't it?"

"Regis: Do you have a special girl in your life?
 * From the Regis Philbin episode of Take Two with Phineas and Ferb:

Phineas: Actually I do. (Isabella looks shocked) She's pretty, she's smart, she's the best (Isabella looks like she's gonna cry) She's our mom! (Isabella looks mad)"

"Doofenshmirtz: If you can help it, don't set Third Base on fire with your mind. Releasing monkeys in the dugout, is not considered kind. Don't build devices that will suddenly make it 1889!"
 * From the Emma Roberts episode, Ferb screams.
 * There's this ad which is basically the cast singing about the Dodger Stadium's Code of Conduct. It's pretty standard...until Doof comes in and sings about the rules HE learned the HARD WAY.

"Well, he's lookin' real sharp in his 1940's fedora,
 * The Phineas and Ferb Holiday Favorites CD is full of CMOFs:
 * The Twelve Days of Christmas song, where Dr. Doof starts out wishing for "THE ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA" and finally settles on almond brittle. There's also one point in the song where he decides to sing the original lyrics in a particularly hammy manner ("FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!") just to "be traditional". Also, Candace getting more and more frustrated as her wish ("two busted brothers") repeatedly fails to come true and giving up on the twelfth day.
 * Major Monogram singing his rendition of "Frosty the Snowman" while getting tons of Snark from Carl, or Buford 's rendition of "Good King Wencelas."
 * The extended version of Perry's theme song, a cross between CMOF and CMO-freaking-A.

He's got an iron will

And nerves of steel

And several other metal-themed attributes!

His fur is water-tight

And he's always up to the fight

So when evil hears this sound, it quakes in its boots!


 * Perry's chatter*"

"Candace: (judging different books by their covers) Heavy handed and derivative.
 * If you don't mind spoilers, it can be rather hilarious to read the summaries for future episodes on the show's wiki. For instance, the description for "That's the Spirit!" (as of 9/21/11) ends with:  Is it even possible for plain old text to come across as a Deadpan Snarker?
 * On a similar note, read through the "Errors" section of the entry on The Baljeatles. I defy you not to crack a smile when you realize that yes, yes they are criticizing the show's method of diapering a platypus. Sophisticated As Hell doesn't even begin to describe it.
 * Jon Colton Barry noticed Buford, Baljeet, Irving and dad were not in Rollercoaster. this is the result. The best part is the ending where
 * This cast interview has many CMOFs, mainly down to the cast just joking around with each other.
 * Vincent Martella's story about meeting Slash definitely qualifies.
 * Martella and Ayson Stoner talking about doing their characters' voices in public areas so that they can get a reaction from kids.
 * The Commentary on Chronicles of Meap with Doof/Monogram is pure gold. Besides Monogram thinking Meap is Nightmare Fuel (he even outright calls Meap Nightmare Fuel) and Doof hating Ferb, there's these.

Doof: Oh look, she's got your autobiography!"

"Doof: I think that the triangle-head kid is uhh... he's planning a bank heist, that's their getaway car."
 * Dr. Doofenshmirtz doesn't like Ferb before he flirts with Vanessa. Yes, Dr. Doofenshmirtz instinctively knows Ferb likes Vanessa and hates him for it.
 * And later, when they lose track of the plot:

""It's a mechanical piece of toast that boy has there...""
 * Major Monogram lampshading the Cute Tracker's design:

"Monogram: Watching this cartoon, I think I can safely say that that girl [Candace] is a little unstable."
 * And then the Major is kind enough to point out what we've all known the entire time:

"Doofenshmirtz: It's Doctor Coconut!
 * Near the beginning of the episode, there's Doof's confusion over Perry entering his lair with/without the fedora, wondering whether it really was Perry or if it was just a platypus. We're also treated to this exchange when Carl appears on-screen:

Monogram: ...Doctor Coconut?"

"Doof: It just amazes me that there's no adult supervision with these kids! I mean, this is a Disney show, right?"
 * The commentary on "Attack of the 50 Foot Sister is equally as funny, especially considering they went Up to Eleven on the whole No Fourth Wall thing.

"Doof: You know what that is? That is a reference to the 1970's movie Star...something. Star...star bar?
 * Monogram commenting on the calendar pages flying up in the Title Sequence ("Oh look at that, they're littering the sun. That's a shame").
 * Watching the scene with the "Baljeet signal":

Monogram: Are you sure it isn't Klute? I loved the movie Klute."

"Monogram: I think she just stole that. That girl stole stuff.
 * After Candace steals the growth elixir:

Doof: She's a hoodlum too.

Monogram: She stole a potion from the boys.

Doof: The little green-haired boy is a hoodlum and this girl's a hoodlum.

Monogram: One day, he and your daughter are going to get married."

"Doofenshmirtz: (sees Candace's Cheshire Grin) What's that all about? Who does she think she is, Michael Jackson?"
 * Both lampshading the fact that Doofenshmirtz didn't notice the giant Candace climbing up his building.
 * And finally, this one, which can border on Dude, Not Funny due to recent events: