Dave Stdider Pokémon Traner

"" YOU DUMBTARD GIVE ME THAT CAMERA.""

- Jack Noir

"" and now i will poach YOU!""

- Jake England The Evil Poacher

"" my bro is an eviel ninja who raps!""

- Dave Stdider

DAVE STDIDER POKEMON TRANER could quite possibly be in the running for the worst fanfiction to ever exist in this world. It is truly a special kind of awful in a way that not even MY IMMORTAL could hope to be. Reading DAVE STDIDER is a feeling comparable to getting a colonoscopy performed on you with a cactus.

Basically, it's really, really bad.

Written by Xx X Cascadaer Xx X, this story combines..

-Pokémon

-Homestuck

-Super Mario Bros

-Pirates of the Caribbean

-The Legend of Zelda

...And more. FAR more.

The story details Dave Strider's quest to obtain the Kanto Region's 8 badges and become champion with the help of his friends Will Turner and Terezi Pyrope. Along the way he catches ghosts, meets Thor, enters the battle of the bands, goes on a cruise, and more, all the while thwarting the evil Team Bad (Made up of Homestuck characters Karkat Vantas and Jack Noir) and JAKE ENGLAND THE EVIL POACHER.

The worst part? It's a month old, already 10 chapters long, and STILL UPDATING.

You can find it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7942034/1/DAVE_STDIDER_POKEMON_TRANER


 * Disguised in Drag: When Karkat and Jack dress up as Zelda and the King respectively to trick Dave into getting them the Triforce. Karkat complains about it, blowing their cover.
 * Evil Plan: Jack's plan to trap Dave in Mt. Moon
 * Evil Poacher: Jake England is literally described as this EVERY TIME HE IS MENTIONED.
 * Evil Versus Evil: In Chapter 9, Jack and Karkat team up with Dave and friends briefly to take down Jake England, or try to at least.
 * Featureless Plane of Disembodied Dialogue: Dave & Co. seem to be complete okay with just stopping to chat with Team Bad while they're fighting and/or trying to kill Dave, no matter what the situation or location. Most notably on the cruise ship.
 * Goldfish Poop Gang: Team Bad.
 * Heroic Albino: Dave is this in Homestuck canon, so it can be assumed that he is here as well.
 * Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Dave is mentioned to be "not gay" several times during the adventure, mainly when the author takes time to describe the hotness of male characters
 * Marty Stu: Both subverted AND played somewhat straight with Dave. He himself is absolutely pathetic, but he possess the gamebreaking power of GROUNDOON.
 * Massive Multiplayer Crossover: This whole story. There's only two characters in this story that are actually FROM Pokemon, Professor Oak, and a minor NPC from Red and Blue named Mr. Fuji.
 * Moment Killer: Terezi and Dave are lying naked in bed after kissing, just as they are about to have sex, Will Turner bursts in the door and tells them that they can't have sex without "Condominuims". Then Dave realizes that he's got more important things to do than banging Terezi, such as exorcizing Giratina from his friend John and leaves her alone naked. The moment is further ruined when Karkat comes in and takes a naked picture of her. Then Jack uses it to blackmail her and stabs Will. Basically, this is the WORST ruined moment in history.
 * Olympus Mons: Dave receives the legendary GROUNDOON as his starter pokemon, and he steamrolls absolutely EVERYTHING with it.
 * Apparently, incredibly strong legendary pokemon are apparently REALLY easy to obtain as well, because Jack gets both Shadow Lugia AND Zekrom with absolutely no explanation as to how he obtained them
 * Out of Character: Everyone except possibly Jack. Especially Will Turner, who has a habit of saying things like "Bro" and "Rad"
 * Paper-Thin Disguise: In Chapter 8, Jack and Karkat attempt to sneak on a cruise ship by wearing fake mustaches. The nameless "ticket taker guy" calls them out on it and Jack shanks him.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: A typo shows up every few words. A lot of them are easy mistakes, with typo possibly being made because of the closeness of some keys to others. Other typos involve the letters being out of order, such as when Dave falls into Jack's "Tarp" in chapter 3.
 * Those Two Bad Guys: Team Bad's Jack and Karkat.
 * Transplanted Character Fic: This story basically takes every character from everything ever from their source material and dumps them into the pokemon world with no explanation. Most notably, Will Turner and pretty much all the Legend Of Zelda Characters.