Homestuck/Characters/Miscellaneous

> OPEN CAST CABINET: UNDERDOCUMENTED AND EXTRANEOUS FILES

You open the last draw of your cast cabinet to see a mess of unsorted papers documenting miscellaneous figures. Upon reviewing them, you're not sure if you'd want to categorize them at all.

Grandpa

 * Adventurer Archaeologist
 * Badass Grandpa
 * BFG: His gun appears to be a pistol handle with a blunderbuss for a barrel. Leaves craters large enough for a few people to lie down in.
 * Big Damn Heroes: He rescues John from the Underlings in the Land of Wind and Shade.
 * Captain Ersatz: Is suspiciously a lot like Theodore Roosevelt.
 * Dead All Along: Until it was Jade's turn to do battle with her guardian, the readers were lead to believe he was alive. In reality, she's pretending to fight his corpse, which has been stuffed and preserved via taxidermy like his hunting trophies.
 * Dirty Old Man: He collects old beauty parlour photos. Don't ask.
 * Fan Nickname: Hass "The Flame" Harley.
 * Kitsch Collection: Hunting trophies, one of which is blocking a transportalizer on the lowest level of the house; also valiant knights, decrepit mummies, sunbleached photographs from the windows of beauty parlors(???), and globes.
 * Memetic Badass: The forums have decided that he's one of the few things in the universe capable to standing up to Chuck Norris.
 * Mummies At the Dinner Table: He's still hanging around in the foyer of the Harley residence.
 * There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Using his BFG to shoot a butterfly from point blank range.

Andrew Hussie

 * Author Avatar
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall, or rather, looking through it.
 * Chewing the Scenery: HE CONJURES THIS INTREPID FANTASYSCAPE!
 * Deadpan Snarker
 * Evil Laugh: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAet cetera.
 * Memetic Mutation: Ansrew, his evil counterpart. A typo in the forums and a troll (Not one from the Trollslum, the forum kind) resulted in the character becoming infamous in the forum community. Utterly insane, and both nightmarish and bizarrely funny.
 * Lesser know than Ansrew, there is also Abdrew. He is basically Hussie, but with a six pack and a mastery of the ways of love.
 * Mr. Exposition: He shows up just after the big 4/13 flash to recap the story thus far, which contains many bits of information that people missed.
 * However, he does not show up after the Act 4 end flash. The narration notes that if he did, we would have been shown this. But, alas, we were not.
 * Non Standard Character Design: He is (almost) always drawn in "Hero Mode", and was the first character to be introduced that way, with Aradia following.
 * Teasing Creator: Admit it, Hussie is the greatest troll of all.
 * With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: Being the author seems to have made him a bit unstable.

Lil' Cal

 * Companion Cube
 * Creepy Doll
 * Defictionalization: Forum regular Eyes5 recently made a real Cal doll and gave it to Andrew.
 * Demonic Dummy
 * Mythology Gag: Before MS Paint Adventures, Andrew Hussie often used the name "Lil' Cal" for rappers or gangsters in his other comics.
 * Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Especially his dream counterpart, which moves around on its own...
 * Perverse Puppet: Even more so than most of Bro's.
 * Uncanny Laurentian Abyss
 * Uncanny Laurentian Abyss

Assorted Animal Sidekicks
Over the course of their adventure, the kids (and some other characters) come into possesion of a number of animal sidekicks. In order of appearance, they are MAPLEHOOF, a beautiful pony given to Rose by her mom, SERENITY, a firefly appearified out of amber by WV, VODKA MUTINI, a friendly mutant kitten found in the lab near Rose's house, a small murder of RAMBUNCTIOUS CROWS who burst through the window of Dave's apartment, and CASEY, a salamander from the Land of Wind and Shade who played the part of Cameron Poe's daughter in one of John's emotionally charged Con Air reenactments.
 * Ambiguous Gender: John isn't quite sure what gender Casey is.
 * John thinks of Casey as being female, Rose thinks of "Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer" as male. Who's right? Who knows.
 * Bilingual Bonus: Serenity will occasionally blink out a message in morse code.
 * Clone Degeneration: Mutie is an imperfect clone of Rose's dead cat Jaspers.
 * Unless - given we know he travels back in time on Mom's meteor and presumably becomes her childhood pet - he's a perfect clone of himself. Or herself.
 * Crows and Ravens
 * Cute Kitten
 * Extra Eyes: Mutie has four eyes.
 * Head Pet
 * I Have Many Names: Mutie gets called "Dr. Meowgon Spengler" by John. Similarly, Casey gets called "Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer" by Rose. Turnabout is fair play?
 * The Ishmael: Maplehoof was briefly made playable during Act 4 to provide a window into what Rose's mom was up to. (It has since been confirmed that guardians can never be playable.)
 * Killed Off for Real:
 * Punny Name: Serenity is a Firefly.
 * Sure Why Not: Before her name was made official, Mutie was Mutie's Fan Nickname.
 * You All Look Familiar: Casey looks the same as any salamander, only smaller and thus cuter.

Colonel Sassacre

 * The Blank: Like John's Dad, he has no facial features except for his nose (although he also has a moustache).
 * Crack Pairing: He's apparently married to.
 * Death By Origin Story
 * No Celebrities Were Harmed: He's Mark Twain. With a party hat.
 * Trickster Mentor: If his book of pranks is any indication.

The Squiddles and Skipper Plumbthroat
Characters from a Saturday morning cartoon show Rose and Jade watched when they were younger. Entirely irrelevant to the plot. For now, at least.They have their own album. "Skipper Plumbthroat: "Well excuse me, Princess Berryboo!""
 * Affectionate Parody
 * All There in the Manual: Most of the info about them was revealed in the description for a poster in the store.
 * The album reveals some more info.
 * Amazing Technicolor Wildlife
 * Animesque: Parts of the flash movie that comes with the album.
 * The Captain
 * Does This Remind You of Anything?: "Tangling" seems slightly sexual. Made much more explicit in the flash movie that accompanies the album, where two Squiddles are seen smoking in bed after some intense tangling.
 * Egomaniac Fisherman
 * Everything's Squishier with Cephalopods
 * Harmless Villain
 * Jerkass Woobie: Skipper Plumbthroat is a destitute, depressed Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain.
 * Last Two Minutes Nightmare: "Let the Squiddles Sleep". The Squiddles may be sleeping, but will anyone else be able to?
 * Never Again
 * Merchandise-Driven: Judging by the sheer amount of plushies.
 * The Power of Friendship and The Power of Love will guide the Squiddles.
 * Punny Name
 * Puppy Dog Eyes
 * Real Trailer, Fake Movie: Here for the Squiddles movie, The Day The Unicorns Couldn't Play.
 * Ridiculously Cute Critter
 * Shout-Out


 * Show Within a Show
 * Stylistic Suck: Never actually seen, but it's implied to be So Bad Its Horrible to the people of the Homestuck universe, excluding Jade. It has a 2.6 out of 10 on the (fake) IMDB page seen in the description for the poster mentioned above.
 * Perhaps it's rated low due to the high amount of weird...things that occur.
 * Tastes Like Diabetes: "I just had a friendship aneurysm!"
 * Title Theme Tune
 * Villain Song: "Catchyegrabber" for Skipper Plumbthroat.

The Gods of The Furthest Ring
A group of horrific creatures that whisper advice to the dream selves of Derse. The largest of them make up the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.
 * Dark Is Not Evil
 * Early-Bird Cameo: They are first mentioned in Rose's Grimoire.
 * Eldritch Abomination
 * Fling a Light Into the Future:
 * Sanity Slippage:

MSPA Reader
The reader of MS Paint Adventures. Located in the LAND OF STUMPS AND DISMAY. Has allocated his/her STRIFE SPECIBUS with PISTOLKIND ABSTRATUS.
 * Audience Surrogate: Except he/she is the reader.
 * Driven to Suicide: What Andrew's meta breakdown is implied to have driven them to. A reference to Jailbreak and Problem Sleuth.
 * Mythology Gag: A very similar joke was made in Problem Sleuth, where the MSPA reader was Driven to Suicide after DMK employed his LADDER TO HELL, creating a million health bars. In this case, the reader does the same thing when Andrew employs his LADDER TO SELF INDULGENCE, creating another meta-layer of removal from the story. Both jokes are references to Jailbreak, where the main character shot himself in the head while standing over a stump.
 * Non Standard Character Design: Is a basic nondescript stick figure, like the protagonist of Jailbreak.
 * Pistol Pose: Seen here in a different context than the regular pistol pose is used for.
 * Sliding Scale of Fourth Wall Hardness: Beyond No Fourth Wall.
 * Weapon of Choice: A pistol.