Owl Be Damned/Quotes

"My familiar is an owl so I will call upon all of the owls in the community and the surrounding woods and I will grant them the power to speak in a child's voice. This will confuse you and make it impossible for you to locate lost children. The owls will gradually learn your language and plague you with childlike calls for worms and mice. When you are too weak to stand they will peck out your eyes and devour your genitals."

- Something Awful's Your Whole Town Will Suffer for Its Mistreatment of Wizards