The Goonies

""Goonies never say die!""

The Goonies is one of those ubiquitous films of The Eighties fans hold fond memories of, even today.

A small group of kids living on the "Goon Docks" of Astoria, Oregon are in dire straits as a local country club threatens their families' homes with foreclosure. On one of their last days in the neighborhood, one of the "goonies", Mikey, discovers a Treasure Map in his attic. The map allegedly reveals where to find the treasure of infamous pirate One-Eyed Willie -- and it appears to lead underneath Astoria. The Goonies, faced with possible homelessness, decide to save their neighborhood by going after the treasure -- but to get it, they must outwit a trio of mobsters and survive numerous death traps designed to keep One-Eyed Willie's treasure safe from outsiders.

The Goonies was the brainchild of three well-known directors: Steven Spielberg (producer/story), Chris Columbus (screenplay -- though, at the time of this film, he wasn't quite famous yet), and Richard Donner (director).

This film also had two successful video games based on it.

Not to be confused with The Goodies.

This film provides examples of:
"Mouth: OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHIIIIIIIT!!!!!! * splash*"
 * Accidental Kiss: Andy accidentally kissed Mikey instead of Brand when they're under the wishing well. She doesn't know until the end, when she asks Brand where his braces went.
 * Adaptation Expansion: The novelization extends the story further, showing Sloth adapting to his new life as a member of Chunk's family.
 * Adults Are Useless: When Mikey's mom sees Brand all tied up, instead of freeing him she asks why he can't exercise like a normal kid.
 * Asian and Nerdy: Data, but it didn't make him any less of a badass when it came to facing danger.
 * Asian Speekee Engrish: Data.
 * Atomic F Bomb: Mouth screams a curse as he falls down the waterfall into the lagoon where the ship is.

"Mikey: Come on One-Eyed Willy, what does this have to do with the map? Is this just another one of your tricks?
 * Avoid the Dreaded G Rating: The word shit comes up several times.
 * Berserk Button: First when Mouth tells Chunk he has naked pictures of his mom taking a bath, real cheap, forcing Chunk to break the door open. Second, averted, when Chunk accidentally breaks the water cooler he was drinking from when Mouth thought of putting chocolate on the floor so he can eat through.
 * Big Eater:
 * Chunk is always eating or hungry in every scene.
 * Sloth has quite an appetite as well, which is how he and Chunk first bond.
 * Bigger Bad: Could be applied to One-Eyed Willy as, having been dead for around 350 years, he plays no direct role in the plot and all that is seen of him is his mortal remains. However the heroes must battle through his traps to reach his treasure and Mikey certainly views their quest as a personal duel between himself and Willy. Also, in his time, Willy was a far greater Big Bad than the Fratellis (he did kill all of his men) and Ma Fratelli seems to regard his corpse with a certain mutual criminal reverence.

Mikey: We've got you now One-Eyed Willy, we're coming up right behind you!

Mikey: I made it, I beat you

Ma Fratelli: Thank you Mr Willy, thank you. You've made my day"

"Mouth: You call that water?
 * Big Screwed Up Family: The Fratellis.
 * Bilingual Bonus: The gangsters are named the Fratellis. Fratelli means "brother" in Italian.
 * Blind Without Em: Stef, although it's really just a couple instances of "I can't see a thing"; it's not really played for comedy or anything.
 * Booby Trap: Or, as Data would call them, "Booty Traps". This film is swimming with them.
 * Breaking the Bonds: Sloth pulls his chains right out of the wall to retrieve Chunk's Baby Ruth candybar.
 * Buffy Speak: Mikey keeps referring to the treasure as One-Eyed Willy's "rich stuff".
 * Bungling Inventor: Data and his father. "You guys I've been saved by my Pinchers of Peril!"
 * Butt Monkey: Chunk.
 * The Cameo: Cyndi Lauper appears as herself, on TV, singing "The Goonies R Good Enough."
 * The Can Kicked Him: Troy is launched into the ceiling of the country club bathroom when the Goonies are fooling around with the Pipe Maze.
 * The Cast Showoff: Jake Fratelli sings Italian opera in a few scenes: "Una furtiva lagrima" from L'elisir d'amore when feeding Sloth and Madame Butterfly when Chunk flags him down on the road. This was the idea of Robert Davi, who played Jake and trained as an opera singer.
 * Cave Mouth: There is a skull-shaped cave entrance.
 * Censorship By Spelling: "Holy S-H-I-T!"
 * Chase Scene: The film begins with Jake Fratelli breaking out of jail followed by a car chase.
 * Chekhov's Skill:
 * Sloth's watching of an Errol Flynn film earlier in the film comes in handy at the climax.
 * Andy's piano lessons when she was four.
 * The Complainer Is Always Wrong: Chunk bitches the most about everything that takes place, and is chewed out by every other person in the movie for it.
 * Conveniently Precise Translation: The treasure map is in Spanish, but when translated into English, it becomes rhyming verse. No one even stops to consider how unusual this is.
 * Counterfeit Cash: "Fifty-dollar bill... Fifty-dollar bill! FIFTY-DOLLAR BILL!!"
 * Creator Cameo:
 * Richard Donner, the director, is one of the guys on the ATVs near the end of the film.
 * Donner's motorhome also appears in a camera shot of Mikey and Brand on their house's patio.
 * Crying Wolf: Chunk.
 * Dawson Casting: Almost completely averted (e.g. 13-year-old Sean Astin as the 13-year-old Mikey), with the exception of teen Jerk Jock Troy played by 26-year-old Steve Antin.
 * Deadpan Snarker:
 * This being an 80s movie, pretty much all of the kids had a silver tongue at some point, from Chunk to Data.
 * Hell, Mama Fratelli gets in on this as well:

Fratelli: It's wet, ain't it? Drink it!"

"Rosalita: [in Spanish; subtitled] My God, I'm in a crazy house!"
 * Dropped Glasses: Stef drops her glasses and Mikey accidentally steps on them.
 * Durable Deathtrap: All those booby traps set by Willie so many years ago still seem to work just fine.
 * DVD Commentary: All of the Goonies reunited many years later for the commentary, alongside Richard Donner. Unfortunately because the commentary recording session started late, Sean Astin had to leave in the middle to attend a function for co-star Joe Pantoliano.
 * Dynamite Candle
 * Enforced Method Acting:
 * The kids weren't allowed to see the pirate ship until the filming of the scene in which they see it for the first time. Unfortunately, the first take wasn't used, as several of the cast blurted out an unscripted "Holy shit!"
 * Jeff Cohen, who played Chunk, was told that the scene where Sloth picks his chair-tied self up would cut before the actual lift occurred; it obviously didn't, and John Matuszak straight-out picked him up easily, leading to the kid's wails and cry of, "You smell like phys. ed.!"
 * Ethnic Menial Labor: Rosalita.
 * Evil Laugh:
 * Francis Fratelli makes a passable, if rather high-pitched attempt at one.
 * Sloth has a triumphant Evil Laugh after Mikey pushes the food tray towards him.
 * Evil Matriarch: Mama Fratelli.
 * Eyeless Face: Partially applies to One-Eyed Willy.
 * The Family for The Whole Family: Ma Fratelli and her sons, in this case a literal family fit for the whole family.
 * Fat Camp: One of the things Chunk confesses to when caught by the Fratellis was being sent to a fat camp and getting kicked out for pigging out.
 * First Kiss:
 * Framed Clue: The Treasure Map.
 * Gentle Giant: "Sloth love Chunk!"
 * Good Bad Translation: Just read the subtitles when Mouth "translates" to Rosalita for Mrs. Walsh.

"Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?
 * Gratuitous Spanish: Rosalita.
 * Groin Attack: Data's "Pinchers of Peril" bite onto Francis Fratelli's groin when they confront him on the pirate ship.
 * The Grotesque: Sloth.
 * Have a Gay Old Time: The pirate is called One-Eyed Willy for crying out loud.
 * Hero Stole My Bike: "I owe you one."
 * He's Dead Jim: "It's a STIFF!"
 * Homemade Inventions: The gadgets made by Data and his father.
 * How Much Did You Hear: Mikey to the other Goonies.

Brand: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough."

"Ma Fratelli: How long you boys been at that window?
 * Ma Fratelli to the Goonies.

Mouth: Long enough to see you need about 400 Roach Motels in this place."

"Mrs. Walsh: Brandon, don't you come home without your brother, or I'll commit Hare Krishna!
 * Huddle Shot
 * Hulk Speak: Sloth. "Sloth love Chunk!"
 * Human Resources: Many of the traps or their triggers are built of human bones, including (somehow) the pipe organ.
 * Hyper Awareness: Simply by smelling them, Chunk can tell what toppings are on a pizza, the same goes for ice cream flavors in a locked freezer.
 * Jerk Jock: Troy.
 * Kick the Dog: Troy driving Brand off the road while he's on the child-sized bike.
 * The Klutz: Chunk. Mikey even uses Chunk's clumsiness to break the Treasure Map from its frame. "What'd you break this time, Chunk?"
 * Leave Your Quest Test: When Troy offers the Goonies rescue via the well.
 * Load Bearing Hero: Sloth holds up a boulder to let the Goonies escape.
 * Madman in the Attic: Sloth, in this case in the Creepy Basement.
 * Malaproper: Mrs. Walsh, Mikey Walsh, Data... Both Mikey and Data are called out on when they mention "booty traps".
 * In fact, Brand is the only member of the Walsh clan that doesn't do this.

Brandon: That's "Harakiri", ma.

Mrs. Walsh: That is exactly what I said!"

"Mrs. Walsh: You are so fluent in Spanish. That was so nice of you.
 * Metaphor Is My Middle Name: Mouth invokes this.

Mouth: "Nice" is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh."

"Mikey: Chester Copperpot! Don't you guys see? Don't you realize? He was a pro and he never made it this far! Look how far we've come. We've got a chance!"
 * Misfit Mobilization Moment: See Rousing Speech.
 * Mistaken Confession: "Okay! I'll talk!"
 * Not So Different: Mike and One-Eyed Willie both have a fondness for Rube Goldberg devices (some are remarkably similar; Mikey's starts with a bowling ball and Willie's starts with a cannonball). Also, Mikey and Willie both have disabilities, Mikey with his asthma and Willie's one eye. To make it even more obvious, the novelizationsays that Willie had asthma, too.
 * Oh Crap: The Fratellis' reaction when Sloth reveals his Superman shirt.
 * Oil Slick: Data's "Slick Shoes" invention is essentially the vehicular version in a shoe-sized package. He successfully applies it to a log that crosses a river while being chased by the villains.
 * One Liner: When Andy worries that Chunk might be dead, Mike retorts with, "Goonies never say die!" and continues his Rousing Speech.
 * Only Smart People May Pass: The Goonies are tested by various booby traps, the most memorable a musical riddle.
 * The Other Rainforest: Set and filmed in Astoria, Oregon.
 * Pipe Maze: They run into one of these underground. Banging on the pipes to make noise ends up causing chaos for the country club above them. Sloth causes even more trouble when he pushes a pipe upwards, apparently leading to a traffic accident above.
 * Pirate: One-Eyed Willy.
 * Pirate Booty: The ship is full of it.
 * Post Kiss Catatonia: Mikey after being accidentally kissed by Andy.
 * Pretty Little Headshots: The corpse in the freezer was shot in the head, yet the bullethole is so tiny and clean that it looks more like the Fratellis whacked him by putting a cigarette out on his forehead. No exit wound, either.
 * Product Placement: Chunk is all over the product placement, famously befriending Sloth with a Baby Ruth candy bar. Pepsi makes several label-out appearances, also Domino's Pizza, and others. The Jeep Cherokee comes out looking real good too.
 * Rube Goldberg Device:
 * The gate opener at Mikey's house.
 * A number of the booby traps.
 * Rousing Speech: Mikey's speech convinces the Goonies to continue following the Treasure Map after the Jerk Jock offers them a chance to be rescued.
 * Rousing Speech: Mikey's speech convinces the Goonies to continue following the Treasure Map after the Jerk Jock offers them a chance to be rescued.

"Data: Data's okay. But Data's tired of falling and Data's tired of skeletons."
 * Running Gag: A character will mispronounce something, another character will supply the correct word and the first character will claim that's what they said.
 * Saving the Orphanage: If by orphanage you mean "Goon Docks", then yes, this is motivating factor behind the adventure.
 * Ship Shape Shipwreck: One-Eyed Willie's 350-year-old pirate ship actually sails out onto the open seas at the end. While the ship is not submerged, it has been sitting in water for three centuries in a wet, brackish cavern with lots of moisture dripping from stalactites. Aside from the skeleton of Willie, the ship and even its sails appear to be in fairly good condition.
 * Shout Out:
 * To Superman, one of director Richard Donner's previous films. A few notes from the famous theme are played when Sloth reveals he's wearing a Superman T-shirt.
 * "Just like that last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw water at them."
 * Sloth is first seen wearing a Los Angeles Raiders T-shirt (when the film was shot, the Raiders were based in LA. They have since moved back to Oakland). John Matuszak, who portrayed Sloth, formerly played for the Raiders.
 * Sloth's "Hey you guys!" is a literal Shout Out to Rita Moreno's famous intro in The Electric Company.
 * Mouth imitates Groucho Marx using his comb in place of a cigar when he delivers the "You wouldn't be here if it wasn't" line.
 * Slippery Skid: Data's "Slick Shoes" lead to some nut-crunching acrobatics by the Fratelli brothers.
 * Songs in The Key of Lock: The organ.
 * Tastes Like Friendship:
 * Tentative Light
 * Third Person Person: Sloth. Also Data, occasionally.

"Mouth and Mikey: Slick Shoes? Are you crazy?!"
 * This Way to Certain Death: The characters run across the long-dead body of treasure hunter Chester Copperpot in their search for One-Eyed Willy's ship. Some of them want to turn back, but Mikey convinces them that this is a good sign, because it means that they're on the right track, and they have already got farther than a professional treasure hunter.
 * Throw It In: Most of Chunk's confessions (except the fake puke story) were based on actor Jeff Cohen's life. According to Jeff, it was a different kid who was kicked out of fat camp for pigging out.
 * Tomboy and Girly Girl: Steph and Andy.
 * Treasure Map
 * Tricked Out Shoes: Data has them, and despite his fellow Goonies' skepticism, they come in handy.

"Jake: You always take his side, Mama. You always liked him better than me.
 * Undead Author: According to the legend, One-Eyed Willie killed off all of his men after making the map; when asked how the map and story got out, Mikey comments that he asked his dad this too, and his dad said one of them must have escaped. The scene of the crime seems to imply that Willie and his top officers all killed each other off fighting over the treasure at the table.
 * The Unfavourite: Mama favors Francis over Jake.

Mama: (Smacks Jake) That's right!"


 * Vomit Chain Reaction: Chunk claims he accidentally started one in a movie theater as a result of a practical joke involving fake puke.
 * Walk the Plank: Mama Fratelli makes Andy walk the plank off the pirate ship.
 * Workplace Acquired Abilities: Andy is able to save her friends from a deadly trap on account of the fact she took piano lessons when she was four years old.
 * Zillion Dollar Bill:
 * One-Eyed Willy's treasure. Most of the treasure is lost completely, but the handful of gems that Mikey holds onto is enough to save the Goon Docks from being turned into a country club.
 * Once the ship makes its escape to sea, though, it's reasonable enough to assume they'd be able to get a convoy together to bring it back in within a couple days and get a massive finder's fee for the Goonies, now that the town was saved. His dad runs the museum, after all.
 * Anything that goes down with the ship is the property of whoever salvages it, but it's still a good bet that the museum will be among the first to get a team on the ground. And the gems are really all they need.