Maradonia Saga

""Sorry guys...I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.""

- Gloria Tesch

The Maradonia Saga, written and self-published by Gloria Tesch, self-defined "One of the World's Youngest Novelist", starts as an everyday story. Then a girl called Maya and a boy called Joey find a World between the Worlds: Maradonia. Upon their arrival a prophecy is fulfilled, whereby they have to try and change the future of Maradonia.


 * Aerith and Bob: In the land of Maradonia, you have names like Astrodoulos, Apollyon, and Abbadon. There is also a military commander named Justin, and his father, Kerry.
 * Alpha Bitch: Alana Terence, since she is "part of the 'Gothic Movement'", which makes her automatically evil.
 * Brother-Sister Team: Maya and Joey.
 * Department of Redundancy Department: Tesch seems to be a fan of these. Among them we have "final end" and "irrationally confused".
 * Doorstopper: All three books are about 820 pages each.
 * The Empire: It is even called the Evil Empire.
 * God Save Us From the Queen : In the second book, Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir (pre-split edition), Maya becomes Queen of Maradonia and develops a fondness for mass executions without trial.
 * Ice Cream Koan: Joey spews many, many of them.
 * Punctuation Shaker: For 'some' reason, random 'words' have quotes 'around' them. Why? Nobody really knows.
 * Rule of Pool: Maya goes to a birthday party wearing a new outfit. There is a pool. Guess what happens.
 * Schizo-Tech: Flying saucers that fire blindness-causing rays and ocean liners co-exist with pre-gunpowder weaponry, horse-drawn vehicles, and a general vaguely late-Medieval/Renaissance atmosphere. Actually, gunpowder (Schwartz Pulver) has been invented by the Big Bads and is used to collapse the walls of castles, but there are no cannons, and the good guys make no attempt to make their own gunpowder. This juxtaposition has no in-work explanation.
 * Trilogy Creep: The Maradonia trilogy, as the author still calls it, will be made up of nine books. It was apparently always planned to be a trilogy, but then Tesch suddenly said that it was always planned to be nine books. The Maradonia Saga has nine books. The Maradonia Saga has always had nine books. It's really only six when you get down to it. She just split the first three books into halves, and now has to write three more.
 * Vanity Publishing: How it all came to be. More likely self-publishing, as "Liberty's Book Press" publishes this and no other known works. Tesch thinks there's going to be a Maradonia movie and themepark. No, seriously.
 * Video Review Show: SwankiVY, well known for her unflattering review of Eragon, has recently done a review of the Maradonia book trailer and the series as a whole.
 * A Wizard Did It: The actual land of Maradonia is tacked on somewhere to the rest of the USA. Apparently both nations failed to notice each other because of magic.