All the Wrong Dudes

All The Wrong Dudes is a 48,000-word story by Johnny Lurg about a series of unfortunate events (no, not those ones) taking place in an Alternate Universe where nearly all surnames are strange, San Francisco has produced three Republican US Presidents, and Hell and Earth are very closely intertwined. It's a Mind Screw with Loads and Loads of Characters and few official chapters.

It can be read in its entirety here.


 * All Guys Want Sorority Women: Kirk lusts after two blonde sorority girls: Shirley Feg (who he loses to Melvin Snix) and Jezebel (who he wins).
 * Awesome McCoolname: Many. Some are puns (Lou Zirre, Dan Druff) and others have gibberish surnames (Melvin Snix and the "troper namer" himself, Johnny Lurg)
 * Big Lipped Alligator Moment: On a road trip to the Central Coast, Keef gets in a fight with a pack of violet-colored bonobos who speak perfect Ecuadorian Spanish. Strangely, a young boy who Keef meets in an insane asylum writes a story about similar bonobos.
 * Black Comedy: Most of the novel consists of nothing but black comedy, which sometimes turns into Dead Baby Comedy, especially where the Eunuch Colony and Jezebel's bizarre sexual fetishes are involved.
 * Butch Lesbian: A trio of lesbians (admitted Expies of the trio from A Confederacy of Dunces) assist Jezebel in helping Keef escape from an insane asylum.
 * Butt Monkey: Rod Niccolo, who over the course of the novel loses his relatives, his three children (although to be fair, one of them wasn't really his), and finally, his own life (though he eventually finds success in Hell).
 * Cult: There are two rival cults: the Neo-Edsels, which are led by Maurice the Pimp and his henpecked sidekick Taggart, and the Worms, which originally consist of Rod Niccolo's family but due to deaths caused by the infamous North Beach firebombing, Rod desperately convinces the Eunuch Colony to join the Worms.
 * Erudite Stoner: Keef "The Antichrist" Smite alternates between this and Nietzsche Wannabe when he's not Ax Crazy.
 * Glurge: Keef attempts to give this to Gil.
 * Narm: Gil, the dim-witted son of Melvin and Shirley, writes a painfully sentimental diary entry as a college freshman, complete with a horribly misguided allusion to Mostly Harmless.
 * Nice Jewish Boy: Melvin Snix, although he later becomes an evangelical Christian.
 * Really Gets Around: Jezebel, Keef's alleged half-sister, and her "boy toy" Kirk "Scummbag" M'Caine exemplify this trope. You might think it's a good thing they found each other, but Kirk doesn't want Jezebel to be as promiscuous as he is.
 * Shout-Out: Tons. At one point, Keef feels "uncomfortably numb," and Kirk is described as having a potato-shaped head as an homage to the song "San Ber'dino" by Frank Zappa. Then there's a scene highly reminiscent of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas where Keef introduces his own mother to cannabis.
 * Squick: A character recounts the time her sperm donor ended up being her dad.
 * Invisible to Gaydar: Rod Niccolo is gay, but is not at all stereotypical.
 * Twofer Token Minority: William Jenkins, the token African-American character, was adopted by a single Jewish man, although there are a couple other Jewish characters, Melvin and Sherman Snix.