Code MENT/Funny

Where do we begin....
 * How about The. Whole. Damn. Thing. Really, we would have an easier time listing the stuff that wasn't funny, but who cares about that?!

"Narator: Last time!
 * Clovis: Fellow citizens of Britannia! I give you, The Pussycat Dolls.
 * The opening to Episode 5, its entirety. Can you say pure crack?

Zero: And now evildoers, thou shall be smitted, by my fists of JUSTICE!

Jeremiah: Not this time, Anime Batman! This time, I shall defeat you!

Zero: Eat this! *Cue live-action explosion*

Kallen: *Singing* I want, you so much, that I, just, resist you!

Zero: Shut up down there! I'm trying to be epic!

Jeremiah: Hah, you fool. I'm still here!

Zero: Damn! Nothing can defeat him!

Guard 1: Dude, what the hell is going on?

Guard 2: Dude, I never know what's going on.

Kewell: Lord Jeremiah, we have to eliminate him.

Jeremiash: I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't...because I'm tripping balls right now!

Viletta: It would seem that I'm tripping too!

Kallen: Oh god, I'm tripping too!

Ohgi: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing.

Zero: Oh no. Now I'm tripping balls!

Guard 1: Dude I'm tripping balls.

Gaurd 2: Dude I'm tripping balls.

Suzaku: I'm tripping balls!

Ohgi: Well I feel fine-oh, there it goes.

Zero: Now I must use my ultimate attack!

Suzaku: Oh no, the ultimate technique!

Zero: Aaaaaaaaagh--!

Jeremiah: Aaaaaaaaaaagh--!

Kallen: Aaaaaaaaaagh--!

Jeremiah: ] --Aaaaaaaaaaagh--!

Suzaku: --AAAAAAAAAAGH--!

Zero: ] --AAAAAAAAAGH--!

[Title Cut]"

"C.C.: Did that bitch just hiss at me?!
 * Episode 8 (better view the video since spoiler can ruin the punchline) but the scene where This troper laughed for 10 minutes straight like he hasn't in years. Pure gold.
 * Episode 11: Lelouch: Kallen, KALLEN. Lets get one thing straight... I WAS GIVIN HER THE SEX.
 * And immediatly before

Kallen: WHACHU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?"

"C.C.:I still don't follow any of this.
 * The beginning of episode 9

Lelouch:Look, it's really simple. I'm the son of the King of Britannia.

C.C.:Then why are you in Japan?

Lelouch:Let me break it down for ya. Every nation belongs to one of three major empires. Britannia, The Chinese Fedaration, Britannia, Sana Mario, Kazakhstan, Britannia, Alderaan, Britannia, Corneria and Britannia.

C.C.:I don't even know why I bothered to ask.

Lelouch:My dad is the current King of Britannia

(cut)

Charles:This job is bitching good!

(cut back)

Lelouch:With dad being the king and all, one wife wasn't his thing. Unfortunatly, it was only too late he discovered the downside of having too many wives.

(cut)

Charles:If I've got to watch one more episode of Bridezillas, I'm going to saw my own arm off.

(Cut back)

Lelouch:See, me and Nunnaly have the same mother--

(Cut)

Lelouch: Nunnaly! WE HAVE TO KILL THE TOOTH FAIRY!

Nunnaly:Every day I pray I was adopted.

(Cut back)

Lelouch:We had a ****-ton of half brothers and sisters, who all lived with us at dad's place. And my God we were motherlicking adorable. For the most part we tolerated each other. However, we sometimes got on each other's nerves.[Image of young Lelouch and young Nunnally fighting over plate] In my defence, she would not let go of that plate. Of course there was that one half brother...Dah, nevermind. Anyway, one day I went along with dad on a diplomatic trip to Japan. You see, Japan used to be great independent nation, led by a great man. (image of Abraham Lincoln with a gatling gun arm) There was only one flaw. His son.

(Cut)

Suzaku:I can live entirely on a diet of crayons and lighter fluid!

(Cut back)

Lelouch:After one tragic slip'n'slide incident, I decided we should return home--[[image of young Lelouch with Hair on fire]--only to find that my mom had gone and gotten herself shot.

(Cut)

Marianne:[through hail of bullets] That smarts!

(Cut back)

Lelouch:From there I was sent back to Japan, where I thought my father would miss me.

Charles:[Thinking]What was I thinking about just now? Something about Japan.[Out loud] We're taking over Japan. [thinking] Booya!

Lelouch:Meanwhile, Suzaku was determained when he grew up to win the war between Japan and Britannia. Unfortunately, he signed up for the wrong side.

C.C.:Not surprised.

Lelouch:Yes, but what is surprising is that even with Suzaku's on their team, the Britannians somehow won, which brings me to today. Long story short, there's some reminants of the underground Japanese army.

(Cut)

Toudoh:If anyone wants a pizza bagel, e-mail me and i'll give you some.

(Cut back)

Lelouch:There's still some Britannian soldiers occuping the country.

(Cut to Those Two Guys)

Guy 1:Dude, you know what I'm thinking?

Both Guys: PIZZA BAGELS!

(cut back)

Lelouch:And finally there's some rebel forces which look up to me after Clovis went and killed himself.

C.C.:I thought you killed him.

Lelouch:Eh, Details.

C.C.:Well, I guess that covers about everything.

Lelouch:Yup, no gapping plotholes at all.

C.C.:But...

Lelouch: At ALL!

[Beat]

C.C.:But what about your friends? What about Milly, what about Kallen--

Lelouch: NO ONE CARES ABOUT KALLEN! |undefined"

"Correspondent: If only there was some way to stall for time. If only somebody who'd obtained the recent attention of all rebel forces, somebody who'd freed a political prisoner from an armed escort, someone who'd escaped a FULL MILITARY MANHUNT, would help us, in this time of need. Someone...who likes white neckerchiefs."
 * Also episode 8

"Kallen: So, what's our next move?
 * cut to Kallen and Zero

Zero/One: I'm thinkin' Disney World...

Ohgi: Yo, shotgun on the room with the hottub!"

"Jude Law: I knew nothing!
 * And the following skype call (really just footage cut from a Sherlock Holmes interview):

Zero/One: Well that's a given

Robert Downey Jr: I knew less than nothing

Zero/One: Oh, no. You're Iron Man!

Downey, Jr.: --you gotta have a little fight in you.

Zero/One: I'll fuck anyone up, I don't give a fuck! I'll kick Jude Law's ass! [Jude Law looks down] Yeah, yeah, keep your head down!

Law: [stutters]

Zero/One: Shut your damn mouth, I'm trying to talk to IRON MAN!!! [Jude Law drinks some coffee]. Where'd you get that?! [Jude Law drinks more coffee]. I DEMAND YOU SHARE!!!

Law: --no--

Zero/One: Well, you can go to hell.

Law: --are those my shoes?

Zero/One: I'm not wearing shoes"

"Lelouch/ One: We are the Dark Knights for justice. Because as children we were nursed on the
 * Also:

milk of justice, and as we grew up we acquired a taste for justice. Now as we get older we once again desire the taste of justice... but we cannot find the milk! So we go to Starbucks! And we get a coffee! But it's not the same thing! IT SUCKS! WHY DID I ORDER THIS!? IT'S TERRIBLE! And now you all understand what our mission is. And. What. We. Must. Do."

"Ohji: Your own urine?
 * Chapter 12
 * I don't know what the hell is up with the chipmunk voice of whoever's calling Lelouch but I hope that gag never dies
 * Lelouch: I'M COVERED IN URINE!

Beat

Lelouch:...yes."

"Suzaku: See, Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. He believed that everyone's televisions should compete for the best picture quality.
 * The bonus videos are also loaded with moments of hilarity. HD Origins has Suzaku talk about the history of televisions. Hilarity Ensues.

Lelouch: (to Jeremiah) You believe this?

Jeremiah: I stopped listening months ago.

Lelouch: We've only been out here for like two minutes.

Jeremiah: Yeah, where is 'here' exactly?

Lelouch:...I don't know!"

"Jeremiah: Here's a list of the categories we've won. 'Best Stolen Idea Since Facebook'.
 * There's also the video about the trio getting a bunch of fake 'TAC' awards.

Suzaku and Lelouch: HOORAY!

Jeremiah: Okay, that award shouldn't have warranted that particular reaction from you two.

Lelouch: Hey, I'll take them where I can get them.

Jeremiah: Moving on. The 'Burns My Eyeballs Just Watching It' award.

Suzaku and Lelouch: YAAAAY!

Jeremiah: (as the other two continue to cheer in the background) Well, let it never be said that you two can't be optimistic."

"Soldier 1: Dude?
 * And then as always deadpan reactions to death.

Soldier 2: Yeah buddy?

Soldier 1: (As a submarine flies towards them) Is that a sub?

Soldier 2: ...yeah, that's a sub. *hit by submarine*"

"Soldier 1: Dude?
 * Or, when they are subverted as in XIII-2:

Soldier 2: Yeah buddy?

Soldier 1: (As a submarine flies towards them) Is that a sub?

Soldier 2: No, didn't you read the caption earlier? It's a UVARD.

Soldier 1: The fuck is a UVARD?! *hit by UVARD*

Cornelia: They just hit us with a UVARD!

Guilford: The fuck is a UVARD?!"

"Lelouche: That was not eating. I've seen eating; what you did in there was chaos!"
 * In episode 13 Lelouch states that he doesn't believe British people exist because he's never seen any and all of the words in the English Dictionary are American. Remember: Lelouch is British in the original series.
 * After Suzaku had come over to Lelouche's house for dinner which happened mostly off-screen: