Doorstopper/Quotes

""On the other hand, there were proper ways of entering a library. He waddled over to the shelves and selected Humptulip's seminal work How to Kille Insects. All 2,000 pages of it.""

- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

""...there is an ever-increasing body of opinion which holds that the Ultra-Complete Maximegalon Dictionary is not worth the fleet of lorries it takes to cart its microstored edition around in.""

- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

""No wonder the Fantasy section has reinforced shelving.""

- Unshelved on A Song of Ice and Fire

"The Lord of the Rings is three books long, and each book is as long as three books!"

- Marco, Animorphs

""A big book is a big evil.""

- Callimachus, poet and catalogue writer of the Library of Alexandria

"I do not know how successful "The Kindly Ones" was, how close I got or how far I came from what I set out to say. Still, it's the heaviest of all of these volumes, and thus, in hardback at least, could undoubtedly be used to stun a burglar; which has always been my definition of real art."

- Neil Gaiman, afterword to The Sandman Volume 9.

"How long is this one? Because I've promised to read the whole thing to my son. I read him the last one, Harry Potter and the Structurally Reinforced Bedside Table."

- Hugh Dennis, Mock the Week.

""I like a thick book because it will steady a table, a leather volume to strop a razor and a heavy book to throw at the cat.""

- Mark Twain