Telephone

 EVBsypHzF3U

At the end of Paparazzi, Lady Gaga is being arrested for killing and admitting to killing her boyfriend after he pushed her off a balcony. The beginning of the video shows Lady Gaga in jail, and because it's a Lady Gaga video, no one really knows what is going on half the time, nor do we have even the slightest idea what on earth the video has to do with the song

After the unnecessarily long intro, Lady Gaga answers the Telephone and proceeds to dance while in jail singing about not being able to answer the phone because she is too busy... doing absolutely nothing. Except for, y'know, singing and dancing in jail. While the man in charge of keeping the music playing is somewhere making a sandwich or something, Lady Gaga is let out of jail because someone put up bail money. And of course the officer is on a dating website because of course police officers don't have anything better to do than go on dating websites.

The music man is still Missing in Action while Lady Gaga gets into a car with Beyonce of all people, who reprimands Gaga. And of course, Lady Gaga just makes a comparison between a mirror and trust (earning an odd look from Bee). At this point, the music man returns and Beyonce begins singing about someone repeatedly calling her and how she cannot answer. While the music man prances off to go get his sandwich, Beyonce proceeds to poison a man's coffee. In the kitchen, Lady Gaga has followed the music man, and she proceeds to assemble several poisonous sandwiches which they use to poison everyone in the dinner before driving off and dancing in weird costumes, the words "To Be Continued..."

"Jailer 1: Told you she didn't have a dick. Jailer 2: Too bad."
 * Affectionate Parody: Tarantino, specifically Kill Bill
 * Asshole Victim: The first guy they killed, but after that...
 * Butch Lesbian: In the prison sequence, Gaga has an interrupted heavy makeout session with two.
 * Camp: Enough for Yosemite.
 * Continuity Nod: Being a sequel to "Paparazzi", it makes a few references to the other video. Three being the mugshot at the end, Beyonce poisoning Tyrese's drink wearing the same shades Gaga was wearing when poisoning Alexander Skarsgard and Gaga shaking her head several times like she did in the "Paparazzi" video.
 * Cryptic Conversation
 * "Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger."
 * Dream Team: Lady Gaga and Beyonce
 * Fingerless Gloves: Of course since she's Lady Gaga she wears the fingers instead.
 * George Lucas Throwback: Of Girls Behind Bars exploitation films.
 * Gratuitous Foreign Language:
 * Gratuitous German: Ein, Zwei, Drei. As in One, Two, Three.
 * Gratuitous Japanese
 * Gratuitous Swedish: During the newscast the lyrics are scrolling on the bottom ticker in Swedish
 * Leave No Survivors: Hey, I have an idea! Instead of just poisoning your asshole boyfriend, why don't we kill everybody else here too? It'll be fun!
 * Lyrics Video Mismatch
 * Magical Security Cam: Averted. The "security camera" scenes were shot from a stationary position, and were in lower resolution and less fluid from the rest of the video.
 * Making a Spectacle of Yourself: Two words. Cigarette. Sunglasses.
 * Nice Hat: A folded out telephone of course
 * Precision F-Strike: "You know what they say: trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broken." "But you can still see the crack in that motherfucker's reflection."
 * Product Placement: Virgin Mobile, Diet Coke, Plenty of Fish, Honey Buns, Polaroid, Wonder Bread, Miracle Whip, Windows 7
 * Refuge in Audacity
 * Shout-Out: Thelma & Louise, Girls Behind Bars, Quentin Tarantino, Silent Hill, One Hill, Star Wars Expanded Universe, Command & Conquer, Dune
 * Take That, Audience!: There have been rumours of her being a hermaphrodite, so of course two jailers strip her naked and walk away


 * Up to Eleven: The whole video, dear Lord.