Bad Liar/Quotes

"Algernon (stammering): Bunbury doesn't live here. Bunbury is somewhere else at present. In fact, Bunbury is dead.

Lady Bracknell: Dead! When did Mr. Bunbury die? His death must have been extremely sudden.

Algernon (airily): Oh! I killed Bunbury this afternoon. I mean poor Bunbury died this afternoon.

Lady Bracknell: What did he die of?

Algernon: Bunbury? Oh, he was quite exploded.

Lady Bracknell: Exploded! Was he the victim of a revolutionary outrage? I was not aware that Mr. Bunbury was interested in social legislation. If so, he is well punished for his morbidity.

Algernon: My dear Aunt Augusta, I mean he was found out! The doctors found out that Bunbury could not live, that is what I mean--so Bunbury died.

Lady Bracknell: He seems to have had great confidence in the opinion of his physicians."

- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

"Yossarian pushed his hand away. "Give up, Milo. People can't eat cotton."

Milo's face narrowed cunningly. "It isn't really cotton," he coaxed. "I was joking. It's really cotton candy, delicious cotton candy. Try it and see."

"Now you're lying."

"I never lie!" Milo rejoindered with proud dignity.

"You're lying now."

"I only lie when it's necessary.""

- Joseph Heller, Catch 22

"Damien: ...You're horrible at lying.

Elliot: It's what I get for being the good guy."

- El Goonish Shive

"Yeah! That's the ticket!"

- Tommy Flanagan, The Pathological Liar, Saturday Night Live'