Lady: My Life as a Bitch

"If you gotta be a dog, be a bitch."

A 2001 novel by Melvin Burgess (who wrote the novelization of Billy Elliot).

Sandra Francy is an Ordinary High School Student... well... she was before she started slacking off, and generally ignoring her schoolwork in favor of going clubbing, doing drugs, sleeping around, and generally having what she thinks is a 'good time'.

All that changes, however, when she has an unfortunate encounter with Terry, a tramp who's Blessed with Suck, with the ability to transform people into dogs when he gets angry.

Now stuck as a dog, Sandra (or Lady, after being named by Terry) is stuck on the streets, her family and friends not recognising her doggy form. She quickly makes a starling discovery though - Lady isn't the first person to be changed into a dog, as she finds after meeting Mitch and Fella, two guys who were once humans, but accidentally incured Terry's anger.

Now Lady has a tough choice, either live out her days as a dog, or try and return to human form.

The novel sparked a bit of controversy when released due to its content. Your Mileage May Vary on your opinion of it, but needless to say it can get a bit crude at times (dog sex anyone?), and is more suited for a mature audience.


 * Animorphism: Pretty much the whole premise of the book.
 * Baleful Polymorph: Terry can turn people into dogs whe he gets angry,.
 * Groin Attack: Lady bites a guy in a rather delicate area to escape from him.
 * Interspecies Romance: Lady seems to display affection for Terry for a short while.
 * Loners Are Freaks: Terry.
 * Talking Animal: With quite a bit of work, dogs can talk.
 * Talking Animal: With quite a bit of work, dogs can talk.