The Matrix/Funny

The Matrix
"Neo walks through a metal detector and it goes off. Guard: Sir, would you please remove any metallic items you are carrying... keys, loose change... Neo opens his trenchcoat to reveal enough guns to kill a small city. Guard Holy Shit!"
 * This scene:

"Neo: That sounds like a good deal. But I've got a better one. How about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call?"
 * "Morpheus is fighting Neo!" *everyone rushes out of the room*
 * Neo's conversation with Smith after being arrested.


 * After Neo finally defeats Smith, the two remaining Agents look at each other and, by wordless agreement, execute a simultaneous Screw This, I'm Outta Here.

The Matrix Reloaded
"The Merovingian: I have sampled every language, French is my favourite - fantastic language, especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it."
 * The Merovingian gets this priceless line:


 * If you don't know French, plugging his French phrase into Google Translate and discovering what he's actually saying is... enlightening.

The Matrix Revolutions
"Merovingian: What in ze hell?"
 * The Merovingian's response to Trinity, Morpheus, and Seraph breaking into his club and making their way across the floor in a three-way Back-to-Back Badasses formation, pointing their guns at everyone.

"The Oracle: Do I have your word? The Architect: What do you think I am? Human?"
 * The end of the exchange between the Oracle and the Architect at the end of the film.

Parodies
"Andy Dick: "Duh! It's obviously an underground city where the last of the humans live, and the robots are coming to kill us. Doesn't that just make you want to party? YEAH!""
 * This Parody for the MTV Movie Awards.
 * WET. WILLIE. MR. TIMBERLAKE...!
 * You do NOT want to see me get out of this chair! Now you open your yapper one more time and I will architect a world of pain all OVER your candy ass! Ergo! Vis-a-vis!
 * The duo is teleported to Zion.

"Andy Dick: "Morpheus! What can we expect at this orgy?" Morpheus: "MACHINES!" Justin: "Dude, I'm out." Sean: "I dunno, sounds kinda kinky-- ow! Ow!""
 * And then...

"Neo: "I see Trinity. And then something happens. Something bad. She begins to fall...and then I wake up." Wanda Sykes: "Now that's fucked up.""
 * The Oracle gets recast yet again.

"Wanda Sykes: "C'mon, man, show him your moves." Justin: "...do I have to?" Wanda Sykes: "I'm the Oracle, dammit.""
 * And she is direct.

"Will Ferrell: "Is there an echo in here?" Echo: "Is there an echo in here?""
 * Justin gets Neo's costume. Sean gets Trinity's.
 * Justin tries his hand at some Parrot Exposition.


 * "There are two doors. The door on the left leads sissy-boy here back to his bitch. Yeah, uh huh, what up, G? You can't handle it."


 * Back to