The Suite Life of Zack and Cody/Radar

In the grand tradition of Disney Channel Kid Coms, the writers The Suite Life of Zack and Cody have defied the Disney censors by inserting, sometimes subtly, sometimes blatantly, lines, references, and gags that some might consider entirely unsuitable for children.

On Deck takes this and throws any remaining subtlety out of the window. It's amazing the things they manage to slip past the radar, some of it would even put Dan Schneider to shame.

The Suite Life Of Zack and Cody
"Carey Martin: I'm not Irish, and you're not getting lucky."
 * From the episode "Who's the Boss?":

"Chef Paolo: Olive oil, virgin olive oil, extra virgin olive oil, olive oil with a questionable past... - Diego: He sticks me, I stick him back; we have fun! - Zack: They're getting you from both ends."
 * From the episode "Foiled Again":

"Maddie: Now it's time to strip and make the bed. London: (starts to unbutton pajamas) Okay, if that's what poor people do... (Audience cheers)"
 * From the episode "Poor Little Rich Girl":

"Zack: Dude, they're twins! Gorgeous twins. On vacation. What they do in Boston, stays in Boston! - Moseby: (After knocking over a bulletin board set with plastic letters) Ohh. I landed on my A."
 * That was an attempt to get it past the radar?
 * If yes, then they rammed the tower.
 * From the episode "Twins at the Tipton":

"Cody: We'd better work fast before Mom gets the urge for Serge. - Arwin: So I was leaning over a toilet, plunging...in and out, in and out, in and out..."
 * In the episode "The Odd Couples" we see a "Don't Be a ****" sticker on the door of Zack & Cody's bedroom, partially covered up.
 * From the episode "The Prince & the Plunger":

"- Cody: Nia, get me my ice cream smock. Zack, keep London in the bath. Zack: (with enthusiasm as he heads toward the bathroom) I'll go get my snorkel!"
 * From the episode "Sleepover Suite":

"Cody This is terrible! We have to stop them! Zack Not yet..."
 * From the episode "Pilot Your Own Life". It has to be seen to be believed, but Zack and Cody have the following exchange while London and Maddie are having a cat fight:

"Cody You're right Zack! This would be much better with pudding!"
 * And later...

"Cody: (Says something in a foreign language) Maddie: (smiles) Okay, should I thank you, or slap you?"
 * In the superhero episode, Cody starts staring and while he's really concentrating on an object (Since he got telekinesis) Zack asks "Oh dude, you got X-Ray vision didn't you?" while looking at a girl.
 * From "Lost in Translation":

"Other girl: Well at least my seashells aren't fake!"
 * I remember an episode where London tried to win back her boyfriend that dumped her for another girl by dressing up as a mermaid.

"London: Ow, I fell on my booty!"
 * Also from that episode:

" Zack: Did you hear that? Maddie wants me to dance with her at the prom! I better practice my kissing. Cody: Don't look at me!"
 * From the episode "A Prom Story":

"Maddie: I was up all night taking care of the baby. Cody: What baby? I didn't even know you got married! Maddie: Please Cody! I'm only 16. And I've never even kissed a boy. Cody: Oh please! Save it for the nuns!"
 * Unfortunately, the last word Zack said is cut out in the UK and South East Asia airing of the episode, due to reference to Ho Yay.
 * From the episode "Kept Man":

" Carey: Zack, why are you wearing a skirt? Zack: I did it so we can win money for bikes. Carey: (Looks very relieved) Oh, thank goodness!"
 * From "The Fairest of Them All":

"Zack: Estaban, I need to talk to you. Estaban: (horrified) Don't tell me you want to talk about the birdies and the bees! Zack: Easy there, tiger, I already had that talk with my dad."
 * From "Not So Sweet 16": I still don't know how they were able to get it past the censors, but -- read it yourself.

"Zack: What was I doing when she said that? Cody: Staring at her and thinking about that talk we had with dad."
 * Then later when Zack is talking to Cody about when Maddie told them what she wanted for her birthday

"Cody: Then we have to catch Irv in the act. Zack: You don't mean... (makes a thrusting movement with his finger) Cody: No!! Cheating!"
 * This could very well be the best example of Getting Crap Past the Radar
 * They changed to "Think about" for the repeats.
 * From "Going for the Gold":

"London: We prefer to call it "Heck"sinki."
 * They were in a bathroom that Irv had just left. He was pointing to the toilet.
 * In the episode "Of Clocks and Contracts", Zack, acting as Carey's agent, tells Mr. Moseby that the only reason people see the shows in the lounge is because of the "glamor puss up there shaking her goodies." Made worse due to the fact that he was referring to his mother!
 * He later gives her money for a candy bar, but tells her to only get one so her "goodies won't go bad."
 * In "Arwinstein", Carey, dressed up as a corpse bride at a Halloween party, says that if she eats one piece of candy, her dress would pop right open. Immediately after, Arwinstein eagerly hands her a bowl of candy.
 * I forgot the title, but in the first epsiode featuring Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow, London gives us this gem:


 * In "Ah! Wilderness", Maddie comes to the Martins' suite while Carey is getting a massage. She tells Carey that a smart, handsome and rich boy has just asked her out. Carey asks "Does He Have a Brother?" The masseuse, a Sassy Black Woman, asks "Is he a brother?"
 * The plot of one episode involved Zack and Cody accidentally making a peephole into a room full of girls. They eventually get caught but not before telling their friends and charging them to look through the hole (they don't really get to see anything, by the way).
 * One episode has the twins hiding the hotel horse in their suite (long story) and it starts licking Carey across the face while she's asleep. She does some moaning and giggling before saying "Oh, Mr. Clooney, we hardly know each other."
 * Another episode has the twins watching a video of their mother giving birth to them.
 * In the episode "French 101" Cody almost says "ass"

The Suite Life on Deck
"Cody: What about my essay on barnacle reproduction? I have pictures! Woody: Can I see 'em?"
 * From the episode "The Suite Life Sets Sail":

"Zack: I'm going to study anatomy. Starting with (points at girl walking by) her. (Carey glares at him) Zack: ...as a... study partner! Carey: (disbelieving) Uh-huh."
 * Made worse if you actually know how barnacles reproduce.
 * Earlier in the episode:

"Cody: Dude, you're a girl! Bailey: I am? That explains a lot."
 * This episode also introduces Bailey's character. However, Bailey is a female that is cross-dressing and rooming with Zack, because all the spots for girls have been filled.
 * One scene from this episode has Zack with his arms around her teaching her to play billiards, how Bailey is still dressed as a male and several people give Zack and Bailey weird glances.
 * Later, Zack finds one of Bailey's bras, and Guy Bailey says it's from her girlfriend.
 * Later on Bailey falls in the hot tub and it is exposed that she is a girl. Which leads to this exchange...

"Moseby: Now I have a bunch of disappointed girls on my hands! Zack: Oh come on... can't be the first time."
 * When they realize that there is no where for Bailey to sleep, Zack offers up his cabin and says that he'll "take one for the team."
 * From the episode "Beauty and the Fleeced":

"Zack: But I didn't do i- Moseby: But? 'But' will be confined to this room! You'll have to entertain yourself with whatever's in here! Zack: (glances at Alex with a smirk, who is hiding from Moseby for pulling a joke) I think I can make that work. - (at the smoothie bar) Alex Russo: So what do you recommend? Zack: Me...with whipped cream."
 * Two from the episode "Double Crossed":

"Bailey: You went to the Starlight Follies to stare at scantily-clad women? Cody: ...no? - London: Nuh-uh Tutweiler's keeping Moseby after school."
 * From the episode "Showgirls" (AKA: "Show & Tell"):

"Cody: How could you just give Smith up like that? Anyone can fake an ID, you've done it enough. Zack: There's just something about her that made me believe her. Cody: Goon, please"
 * This whole episode is getting crap past the radar. First of all, the boys are trying to sneak into a show where nobody under 18 is permitted. The dialog makes it come off as a live nude or stripper show. Zack even goes as far to say "tonight, we become men!" when they first try to get in. Second, Zack and Cody use sailor costumes to try to sneak into the show. This doesn't fool Kirby and he is able to recognize them. When Zack and Cody manage to sneak into the show anyways, the woman with the anklet (which turns out to be Tutweiller) dances around them. Now, if Kirby was able to recognize Zack and Cody, why didn't Tutweiller recognize them? Or did she really recognize them and decide to dance around her underaged students anyways? Third, the boys and Moseby are all shown to fantasize about Tutweiller with the sexy showgirl music in the background.
 * Technically, they never prove that she was the dancer. IF she is, she wouldn't want it known, so she would have to dance for them.
 * From the episode "The Spy Who Shoved Me":

"Bailey: Oh, Woody, you're so strong and cut."
 * From the episode "Kitchen Casanova":

"Marcus: Man, I love London! Zack: Would you stop that? She's never gonna date you! Marcus: I was talking about the city...though I'd love to take a tour of the other London."
 * From the episode "Rollin' with the Holmies":

"Zack: Y'know, I've got some math homework, too. Maybe you could come to my cabin and (air quotes)tutor me. Sasha: Something tells me you already know too much."
 * In the episode "Can You Dig It?" Zack wears an Indiana Jones-style costume for a television interview and demonstrates his whip, accidentally seizing the bikini top of a justifiably-horrified off-screen guest.
 * From the episode "Family Thais":

"Cody: (to Zack) Then use the turn signal and not the one you gave me when I told you to slow down!"
 * From the episode "Mom and Dad on Deck":

"Zack: I thought you met at one of Dad's rock concerts, when you threw your-(Kurt cuts him off as Carey glares)"
 * As their parents are explaining how they met:

"Tutweiller: Congratulations, you have a child! Marcus, meet your parents! Addison: * excited* We have a baby?! Woody: * shocked* How did this happen?! Tutweiller: Sorry, that's a different class."
 * From the episode "Marriage 101":
 * Zack says that Bailey and Cody should be spayed and neutered.
 * When Woody and Addison get family on the wheel of life

" London: That is such a load of shhhheer genius!"
 * From the episode "Model Behavior":

"Zack: The card said, "Wanna party like a wild animal? Call Coco. When I said I wanted PANDA-monium, this is not what I had in mind."
 * In "Mother of the Groom" Zack clearly tried to order a stripper for Esteban's bachelor party. He instead gets a guy in panda suit.

"Zack: Where are all of your future descendants? It's probably cause no one ever wanted to have kids with you."
 * At the end of the episode "Seven Seas News", Cody and Bailey are found by Kirby while they're... having a little fun... on the Sky deck after curfew.
 * From the episode "Starship Tipton":

"Cody: (about college girls)...You helped her with her math. Zack: She held my calculator! I've never had so much fun multiplying with ANYBODY!"
 * Also from this episode, a random guy wearing red and London's "lots of greats" grandson, Rome Tipton (who was also wearing red) both died by falling into space. Why? To make a point Marcus made about the guy wearing red always dying first.
 * It was implied that Moseby and E-E-E-E-Eyaahhh-Eyaahhh (or Eyaahhh for short) were going to have sex since they thought they were going to die. Moseby even wanted to take her back to his own time with him.
 * From the episode in the Bermuda Triangle:

"Cody: I thought you'd find beauty pageants sexist and demeaning to women. Bailey: Pageants are about more than beauty, you can win scholarships. Plus, they judge you on talent, poise, personality... Cody: Oh, I know. I've been in a beauty pageant before. Bailey: You mean... like for men? Cody: Yeeaaaa... no. Bailey: * Gives Cody an odd look* Cody: Hey, don't judge me. When I met you, you were a dude."
 * From the episode "The Beauty and the Fleeced":

"Zack: You don't even remember me? I'm Zack, your boyfriend! Tonight you were finally gonna let me- Mr. Moseby: (Grunts) Zack: Taaaake you to dinner!"
 * From the episode "Splash and Trash", while Zack is talking to a girl with amnesia:

"London: (dressed like Olivia Newton John) Hey guys! Let's get physical! (Nerd starts dancing) Eww not with you!"
 * Bonus points for Zack when he reached under her towel to see if she is a mermaid.
 * The season three premiere "Silent Treatment" has a number of blatant penis jokes, Lampshaded by Woody's giggling, involving Brother Theodore's "dinghy", which is apparently both small and leaky.
 * In the same episode, after they talk during silence hour, they mention having had a "cruel and unusual punishment" for an hour that really hurt their bottoms, before stating that they had to sit in uncomfortable chairs and "think about what [they did]." Of course, the child viewer would assume the implication was that they were spanked...
 * In "So You Think You Can Date", we get a flash back to when Miss Tutweiler was a teenager. And after finding out her date won't show up she declares, "Your the worst cousin ever!". Wow. Just..wow.
 * This could refer to people with no dates taking their cousins to prom.

"Sasha: Ha ha! You've exposed your bishop! Marcus: I have?! Ugh, that's so embarrassing!"
 * From the episode "Das Boots", Marcus is filling in for Cody during a game of chess. His opponent is a Russian female named Sasha:

"Dr.Cork: Check this out! Cody: (gasps) Is that a sabertooth paramecium?!?! Dr.Cork: Yeah! I call it Butch! Woody: And I call this....Booriiing! Dr. Cork: I'm tryin to get them to reproduce. Woody: And suddenly it gets interesting!"
 * In the episode "The Swede Life" Moseby and Marcus enter an "Ikea" knock off. When the camera closes up on their face, on the wall behind them is a list of products. One of them is "kok".
 * In Swedish, "kok" means "cooking". Not really a Radar moment.
 * In the episode "Senior Ditch Day" Miss Tutweiler is expecting to have no students for the day, and comes in to the classroom in a robe and carrying a romance novel. She finds Cody & Bailey there and gives them a nonsense assignment to distract them while she reads her novel. We see a fantasy sequence of what she is reading (guest starring Fabio himself as the male character.) Just as Miss Tuttweiler is about to kiss Fabio, she is interrupted and brought back to the real world by Bailey who says "Miss Tuttweiler, we finished our assignments!" to which Miss Tuttweiler replies "Well at least ONE of us got to finish."
 * There are several scenes of the Romance Novel. One scene implies that Emma, playing the lead, and Fabio, playing the pirate, slept together and that the girl was a virgin.
 * The Romance Novel ends with the girl being dumped right before her wedding. Emma shouts out, "The only romance novel in history where the heroine gets dumped!" Then she questions out loud why her mother sent her the novel. This line can lead the viewers' mind in many different directions.
 * When going to play laser tag, Cody mentions that lasers are only fun when exciting an electron particle. Bailey says that that's the only thing he's ever excited.
 * In the episode "Frozen", Zack, Cody and Woody get trapped in a research station in Antarctica for a week. Woody befriends a jar of mayonaisse and hears "voices" from "her". He says that she hates Zack because Zack tried to use her as a toilet. The reason? A very painful icicle incident outside.Also in the same episode Woody and Zack are bored and... just look

"Scientist: I've already lost most of the fingers of my shaking hand."
 * From the same episode (the boys went to shake his hand)

"Scientist: I haven't entertained anybody in a long time. Well, there was that time with that lonely seal, but I'm not going to talk about that."
 * Also

"Mr. Moseby: I took a shuttlecock to the eye!" (emphasis his)"
 * In one episode, Mr. Moseby is recounting his failing to make the badminton team in high school:

"Bailey Pickett: What the "feathers"?"
 * And all this is neglecting what has essentially become Bailey's Catch Phrase:

"Cody: My right arm is stronger than my left. (Cody receives several odd glances). Cody: (Shifty) It's from tightening my microscope."
 * In "Break Up in Paris", Bailey intimidates a boy by telling him she can castrate a bull with her bare hands.
 * Kind of a Fridge Brilliance example in "My Oh Maya". Early in the episode, Cody wears a rubberband and snaps it every time he thinks about his ex Bailey. Later on, when Zack meets Maya, and tries to date her. She says she just wants to be friends with him. The scene then cuts to them walking away, and Zack is snapping his own rubberband while looking at Maya. What is it that he is trying so hard not to think about doing with her?
 * Also in "My Oh Maya", Cody gives a worst case scenario about what Bailey is doing back in Kettlecorn. It involves her and her ex-boyfriend Moose getting cozy under the shelf in the barn, which Cody immediately stops to snap the aforementioned rubberband.
 * "The Play's the Thing" gets a lot of crap past the radar:
 * Cody is directing a play in which Bailey notices the play blatantly resembles Cody and Bailey's breakup. When she wants out, Cody says "...get back up on stage and shake your bon-bons" To which Bailey replies "I'm leaving, and I'm taking my bon-bons with me."
 * Also in the play, Haley cheats on Brody with a mime, who is played by Addison, a girl.
 * Bailey was the original Haley, but bolted out during rehearsal, they almost subverted a lil Les Yay, but as for replacing Haley, It Got Worse. see below.
 * When Cody walks on to the stage as Haley, wearing a pink dress and with long hair, Zack exclaims, "Cody, I knew this day would come, but I didn't expect it so soon!"
 * In the play, Haley tells the audience that there are many men in Paris that she could shake her bon-bons for.
 * In case there were any doubt about this, Cody-as-Haley actually shakes his chest at the audience (his dress is stuffed to give him fake breasts. Yes, it's that explicit).
 * Cody, playing Haley, was noticeably willing to kiss Brody (Zack), which doubles as Ho Yay and Twincest.
 * At one point, London argues with Cody about her being a full moon. Towards the end of the argument, Cody says, "I'll give you a moon all right." turns around, and I think everybody knows where that was headed.
 * Haley dying at the play's end, and, even more unusual for a Disney Channel Kid Com, it is completely Played for Laughs.
 * After the play, Cody and Zack are talking when Cody comes to realize he was at least partially at fault for his failed relationship with Bailey. Zack then says, "Clearly you were a lot happier with her. And clearly less confused."
 * In the episode where Cody joins "The Brotherhood of the Hooded Brothers" to get his mind off his break-up with Bailey, Zack and Woody want him to do a homework assignment for them. They follow him to his hideout and have no choice but to join the Brotherhood. They begin to cause trouble in the hideout, and Cody's fury begins to take control of him. At one point, he shouts, "YOU TWO CLOWNS FU--" just to be interrupted by their silence bell (when that sounds, they need to be silent for one hour).
 * In one episode Cody says this:

"London: Wow... Your mom needs a hobby."
 * In "Computer Date", Arwin mentions that when he gets lonely, his left hand becomes his best friend.
 * After Bailey mentions her many siblings in an early episode:

"Moseby: He got bitten and I had to suck the poison - Anyway, he's doing fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go boil my lips."
 * In the episode "Roomies", Zack has Woody trying out the new recliner he's bought, only to have it malfunction with Zack landing on top of Woody. As Zack is struggling to get up, his date shows up saying, "Oh, sorry I didn't know you had company."
 * In the episode "Snakes on a Boat", Moseby got a lot of crap past the radar:
 * Zack is bitten on the butt by a snake. Later we hear this:

"Zack: I'm writing a thank you card to Mr. Moseby. What rhymes with buttocks? Cody: I don't even wanna know what this is about. - Moseby: "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE [horn blares] SNAKES ON MY [horn blares] BOAT!!""
 * Right after this scene, we have Zack and Cody talking:

"Bailey: Yeah, see, I was faking it. Cody: You were faking it? Bailey: Don't worry, It's really hard to make me laugh. Cody: Did Moose [her ex] make you laugh? Bailey: Well... Cody: What about those times you went heheheohhehehe? It sounded so real. Bailey: Yep, all fake."
 * Cody asks if he makes Bailey laugh. When she says no, and he asks about all the time she laughed at his jokes.

"Mr. Moseby: I was forced to land by a military helicopter, and then rescued by a particularly loathsome baboon. I'll spare you the rest of the details because after that it got real nasty. and then: Mr. Moseby: Now if you excuse me, I got to go wash the smell of baboon off of me."
 * It sounds like she was faking orgasms.
 * Especially because Fanon believes they had sex, this makes a lot of sense.
 * And at the end he finally gets her to laugh with the help of a GIANT SNAKE...
 * Also from that episode, Cody tells Zack about the wonders of six as an answer to questions a girlfriend might ask (such as how many previous girlfriends he had or how he would rate another woman), even saying that he "loves six".
 * In "Prom Night", Cody gives Woody a large ham (not that kind) to practice kissing with. Woody happily declares Hamela Anderson to be his preferred type of girl..."sweet, tender, and baked."
 * All this, and yet not ONE mention of this from the Prom episode:

"Bailey: I'm not kissing that."
 * From "Twister: Part 3":
 * Cody gets a splinter in his finger and Bailey kisses his finger and then he hurts his butt by falling and landing on something, which prompts Bailey to reply:

"Zack: Hey, I have a speech too. Goodbye teachers, goodbye class, high school, you can --. Ms. Tutweiller: Ok, thank you Zack!"
 * Also there's a scene there that is a combination of radar and nightmare fuel. Zack and Woody try to stop Mr. Tipton to bulldoze down Bailey's home by pretending the construction on the farm has released a horrible fungal disease that has infected them. Zack come over and pretends to peel off skin (it's actually fake) and for a split second you see RED STUFF (it's fake, but STILL), then Woody comes and peels fake skin OFF HIS FACE! In fact, it looks like insides! How is this good for a kids show!?
 * From the Graduation episode:
 * (Cue Zack giving his speech and him being later cut off by Ms. Tutweiler.)


 * When Zack and Woody remind Marcus that he doesn't have any people anymore in "Beauty and the Fleeced", Marcus tells them "go fax yourselves".
 * Mr. Mosby seemed quite turned on by the belly dancer in Morroco who did "The Dance of the Seven Veils" for him.
 * During the episode "Das Boots", Cody calls his Russian Chess opponent a "cold ???????" which translates to a "cold piece of shit".
 * From the the episode "International Dateline", they manage to sneak in a bra shot around 3:50 in this clip, but that was short lived... Later airings blocked it with a piece of cloth that wasn't there in the 1st place.
 * According to Zack, the only thing better than babes in bikinis are babes in bouncy castles.

The Movie
"Nellie: Once the merge happens, everything will feel right to you. Zack: The merge? I like where this is going. Nellie: Not with me, silly. With Cody. Zack: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

"Cody: So, how close are you? (referring to his experiments with dolphins) Scientist (Nervously) Just friends, why? What have you heard?"
 * Earlier on we got this exchange: