Immortals



Immortals is the...

...retold -- and let's just leave it at that -- story of the legendary hero Theseus, as he seeks revenge on evil King Hyperion of Crete for, you guessed it, killing his mother. Hyperion plans to unleash the race of the Titans from their prison in order to take his revenge on the gods and wipe out humanity, but for that he needs the Epirus Bow and is willing to do just about anything to get it.

Which means saddle up, folks -- there will be blood, and it's gonna be pretty. No, really, the battles are sheer Scenery Porn.


 * Action Girl: Athena, naturally. The oracles are no slouches either.
 * Actor Allusion:
 * Adrenaline Time / Bullet Time: Used extensively when the Gods fight, as to show their superhuman powers. Conversely, it's used sparsely when humans fight: the battle between Hyperion's and Athens's armies starts in slow motion but the rest is seen at normal speed, chaotic, brutal and (relatively) more realistic. Same for the final confrontation between Theseus and Hyperion.
 * Anachronism Stew: The MacGuffin of the film, the Epirus Bow, is clearly (for anyone with any knowledge of modern archery) a 21st century recurve... with sparkles stuck on it. It even has a plastic sight mount, but no sight.
 * And I Must Scream: The Titans are bound so that they cannot move and their mouths are held open by a bar.
 * Anyone Can Die: Ironically, nobody in this film is actually immortal - the Opening Narration establishes that Gods can kills other Gods. The film does not disappoint.
 * To be fair, the concept of "immortality" is also touched on as either living on through your descendents, or as a legend. That said, the only things that actually kill either gods or titans are other gods or titans; a human would have no chance of killing a god unless the god stood stock still AND the human had a divine weapon.
 * Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence:
 * Battle Royale With Cheese:
 * Bigger on the Inside: The little box which only shows sixteen Titans standing in it actually holds far more.
 * The Brute: The Minotaur.
 * Cavalier Consumption: Hyperion and his nuts. In what may be a Stealth Pun, he offers some to the man he just castrated.
 * Chekhov's Gun: The brass bull at the oracle temple.
 * Cold-Blooded Torture: It's kind of Hyperion's thing. The scenes in the temple after he's set up base there are chock full of people being subjected to lots and lots of pain.
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: The gods are white and gold while the titans are black and red.
 * Combat Haircomb: The Seeresses have them for emergencies.
 * Complete Monster: Hyperion makes it pretty clear that he's no longer a decent man. Among the things he does:  By the end of the film you probably wont want him to become a Karma Houdini.
 * Costume Porn
 * Cursed with Awesome: Phaedra believes her visions are this.
 * Daddy's Girl: Zeus and Athena.
 * Dangerously Genre Savvy: Hyperion seems to always have some kind of backup plan or trick up his sleeve in order to get what he wants. For instance, he approaches the Greek wall with only a few men and holding a peace offering, and when Theseus attempts to attack him after he reveals himself, in the foggy background it turns out he actually has quite a few guards with him, all ready to take down Theseus should he attempt to attack Hyperion. He also calls the monk's bluff when the monk grabs a blade and threatens to commit suicide.
 * Deus Ex Machina:.
 * Dirty Coward: Lysander. Granted he's serving under a king who had him castrated and he frequently gets a front row seat to Hyperion killing his other cronies for failing him. Can you blame him?
 * To be frank, Hyperion and his entire army. Theseus lampshades this several times.
 * Doomed Hometown: Theseus's home town gets assaulted by Hyperion's army early on, and many of the villagers are killed or enslaved, including himself.
 * The Dragon: Lysander.
 * Also the aptly-named Mondragon
 * Eye Scream: One poor fellow gets his eyes gouged out.
 * Faceless Goons: Hyperion claims the masks make everyone equal. More likely he's just following Rule of Cool.
 * Flat Earth Atheist: 3000 years ago, most people were atheists. Kings would openly deny the gods in front of their people, even during the most dire of crises. Theseus is one, too, for most of the movie.
 * The gods are strictly forbidden from directly interfering in godly ways; when mortals DO see an Olympian in full might for the first time they're understandably awestruck that it's even happening, even the extremely devout ones.
 * Genius Bonus: Why is Poseidon the first Olympian to actively help Theseus? Because according to the original Greek myth
 * Gorn: The battle scenes blend Ludicrous Gibs and Made of Plasticine, and Hyperion's shows plenty of it due to his Cold-Blooded Torture and Bad Boss tendencies.
 * Groin Attack: Hyperion orders Lysander to be castrated. By the Minotaur. With a big, big hammer.
 * Head-in-The-Sand Management: The Archon of the Greeks is sure he and Hyperion can negotiate...
 * Literally right up until Hyperion.
 * Helping Would Be Killstealing: Zeus really wants the mortals to win their own battles.
 * Hey, It's That Guy!: It's not the first time Luke Evans plays a god, as he had the small role of Apollo in the 2010 Clash of the Titans.
 * How Much More Can He Take?: The final one-on-one battle between Theseus and Hyperion.
 * I Am Spartacus: There are four oracles, but only one is the true one. The other three are there to protect the real one's identity. When Hyperion asks which one of the three is the real one, they all reply in the same way: "I am the oracle."
 * I Cannot Self-Terminate: Hyperion calls the temple monk on this, knowing that he cannot take any life, his own included, and therefore has no choice but to talk. The monk cuts off his tongue in response.
 * Improbable Aiming Skills: Theseus shoots four arrows in a row with the Epirus Bow, hitting four soldiers at the same time. Justified because it's a magic bow after all.
 * Ironic Echo:
 * Jerkass Gods: Averted with most of the pantheon, but Zeus definitely counts. Really, the only benefit of  was seeing Zeus suffer a little over all his stupidity.
 * Killed Mid-Sentence: The Archon.
 * Kill Them All:
 * Lawful Stupid: Zeus's stubborn refusal to direct godly interference under any circumstance allows the Titans to break free and results in the death of at least half of the shown pantheon,  It is never actually explained who came up with this non-interference law, and why it must be enforced. If it is Zeus himself then he becomes the veritable embodiment of this trope.
 * Last Stand: The remnants of the Greek army at the final battle. It's implied that they won and successfully defended the wall in the final battle, since Phaedra is still around and with her son at the end. Zeus
 * Loophole Abuse: While Zeus is forced to . Also he still managed to train Theseus in the arts of war, since he's not helping him "as a god", but merely as a mortal counselor.
 * Also done by
 * Men Are the Expendable Gender: The gods are forbidden from helping the mortals on pain of death. Ares and Athena both go down and interfere. Guess which one is actually punished with death for it.
 * Mr. Fanservice: Henry Cavill as Theseus, Stephen Dorff as the thief, and Kellan Lutz as Poseidon for starters.
 * Ms. Fanservice: Phaedra (Freida Pinto, who strips naked so that we see her bare butt take up half the screen). Unfortunately, this is only a very convincing Body Double. However, Athena appears as a living, topless stone statue.
 * Nice Hat: Pretty much everyone except for Theseus. The pantheon and the oracles get extra points.
 * It's even lampshaded. As one of his reasons not to bother with religious ritual, Theseus notes that the village priest has a ridiculous hat.
 * Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: A chunk of Hyperion's evil schemes (and about a third of the film) could've been avoided.
 * Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Okay picture this. You're the skillful leader of a massive army. You've cut off the enemy's reinforcements such you outnumber them perhaps 10 to 1. You have in your possession a magical Energy Bow that can fire infinite shots and can lay waste to men and rocky walls alike. The enemy's morale is low, and are likely to lose hope easily against your troops. So what do you do when you come up to a massive wall?
 * No MacGuffin, No Winner: The Epuris bow is Hyperion's entire motivation for the story. Subverted in that:
 * Obstructive Bureaucrat: The Greek king/leader at the Greek wall near the end of the film. He argues that the conflict with Hyperion can be settled peacefully with talk while Theseus argues in favor of war and defense preparations..
 * Off with His Head: There are quite a few decapitations during the movie.
 * Pals with Jesus: Zeus just love hanging out with the Flat Earth Atheist protagonist. Mostly during decades of backstory.
 * Perpetual Motion Monster: The Titans. Untold ages caged under a mountain, and they are able to take on gods seconds after being freed.
 * The Quisling:
 * Rage Against the Heavens: Hyperion, who wants to free the Titans to destroy the Gods - and doesn't care if humanity gets wiped out in the process. This motivation basically sets in motion the events of the entire movie.
 * Really Seven Hundred Years Old: All of the gods, due to being immortal obviously, but this film in particular stands out due to the very youthful appearances of all the pantheon, especially when compared with more... typical portrayals. Athena even comments upon it. When she meets with Zeus for the first time, he changes from his "Old Man" human form into his godly appearance, and she remarks that prior to doing so he actually looked like a father, or grandfather, as opposed to his true appearance.
 * Religious Russian Roulette: Hyperion's justification for killing all the gods? They didn't step in and stop his wife and daughter from dying of plague. Interestingly, this becomes Motive Decay since he gleefully goes on his quest for the Epirus Bow more to gain an immortal legacy through procreation than to avenge their deaths. Furthermore, his motivation would be more than justified considering the Greek pantheon are Jerkass Gods in a lot of their appearances... except for this one.
 * Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves:
 * Rousing Speech: Theseus gives one to the Greek defenders, instantly winning over everyone who was just mocking him as a bastard mere seconds before. He does this by awkwardly whining that he's nobody special.
 * Sadly Mythtaken: Pretty much everything except names and a few basic plot elements. Rule of Cool is definitely in effect.
 * Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right: Ares comes down to save Theseus, despite Zeus telling the gods not to interfere directly in their affairs.
 * Poseidon does earlier in the film as well, but uses Loophole Abuse by causing a tidal wave and letting the water take out the Mooks, rather than attack them directly.
 * Sequel Hook:
 * Shirtless Scene: And how!
 * Shout-Out: It was produced by the same people as 300, so these are to be expected. Most blatant is when Theseus rallies the troops to the hole in the wall by claiming that in the narrow passage, "their numbers mean nothing".
 * The Smurfette Principle: Athena wasn't the only Greek goddess by any means, but she's certainly the only one that's shown in the film.
 * Someone to Remember Him By:
 * Tongue Trauma: The monk of the temple where the Epirus bow is kept, in order to prevent Hyperion torturing the bow's location from him, does this to himself. That's dedication. The only reason he didn't just kill himself outright is because his vow wouldn't let him.
 * Unknown Rival: The entire motivation for 's Face Heel Turn is to get revenge on Theseus for  ; he seeks Theseus out during the Final Battle, but Theseus simply kills him, and doesn't even seem to recognize him.
 * Villain Ball: Hyperion, despite largely being Dangerously Genre Savvy, holds this a few times throughout the film. Some examples:
 * Using only a few guards to escort some freshly captured prisoners who look like they could easily overpower them with some help.
 * Taking out the eyes of your loyal spy who uses a magical bird to watch enemy movements to "silence" him, instead of merely threatening him to not speak of things the hero has done. Unless he intends to never use said spy's services again.
 * Sending out a small group of soldiers to go after the hero, rather than a large group of at least dozens since it's shown he has thousands under his command.
 * Not giving more support to your troops in the final battle. See Nice Job Fixing It, Villain.
 * Virgin Power: Phaedra, as an oracle, has the gift of prophecy as long as she remains a virgin.
 * Well-Intentioned Extremist: Hyperion's motives for his Rage Against the Heavens was that his family fell ill and was dying, and when he pleaded to them to help save them, they did nothing. So in response he vowed to free the Titans so as to destroy the gods who ignored his pleas for help.
 * Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: Zeus obviously has the power to
 * Zeus has the power to fight the Titans and has the highest kill count among the battling gods, but is shown to by no means be able to single-handedly kill them all, hence the imprisonment.
 * But could it really have been that much easier to imprison them? Or why not simply kill them once they were trapped and motionless? The answer might be a major case of Contractual Genre Blindness, as the story needs the basic assumption that the titans are bound and can be released, but that gods and titans alike can kill each other in order to create drama. However, this is a case of Did Not Do the Research. In Greek mythology the reason the Olympian gods imprisoned the titans was because the titans, like the gods, were true immortals and could not die by any means. Thus Zeus's five elder siblings were still alive after being devoured by their father Cronus and all Zeus and his mother Rhea needed to do was make Cronus vomit them up. Likewise, after winning the Titanomachy, the Olympians imprisoned their predecessors because killing them was impossible.
 * You Fail Linguistics Forever: Everything from people's names (also Anachronism Stew) to the ancient Greek mouthed by the oracles. Most egregious however is the place name of Kolpos Peninsula; Kolpos is Greek for gulf, making the name of the location bizarrely oxymoronic, and also hilarious to greek speakers everywhere.
 * Speaking of hilarity, kolpos is also used in greek as the scientific term for female human genitalia, equivalent to english 'vagina'. And the protagonist is very fond of shouting "I AM THESEUS OF KOLPOS". That went about as well as you'd expect in greek cinemas.
 * You Have Failed Me...: Hyperion engages in this a few times.
 * You Killed My Father: Or his mother, in Theseus's case.
 * Your Head Asplode: Sort of.
 * You Have Failed Me...: Hyperion engages in this a few times.
 * You Killed My Father: Or his mother, in Theseus's case.
 * Your Head Asplode: Sort of.