Robo Vampire

Robo Vampire is a low-budget action movie. Actually, it is the remains of two different low budget movies cobbled together and passed off as a single film.

A Taoist priest and his army of jiangshi are hired by a drug lord to protect his smuggling operation from a group of commandos. Soon the priest awakens a powerful Vampire Beast to aid him in his new business venture. However a ghost appears and berates the priest for his actions. Apparently she and the Vampire Beast had loved each other when they were still alive but were forbidden from marrying each other. To solve this they commited suicide so they could be together in death. As a compromise the priest marries the two on the condition they would still serve him. Unable to deal with this new threat the commandos rebuild one of their fallen comrades into a cyborg known as RoboWarrior. Meanwhile, a female drug agent is kidnapped and must be rescued from deep within the jungle by a team of commados.

This film is known among connoisseurs of bad films for its poor editing, terrible special effects, broken dubbing and total lack of coherency. More information can be found here. You can also check out Obscurus Lupa's review here. Or you could just watch the enitre film right here.

"Ghost: How dare you take my lover's corpse and turn it into a vampire beast! Now he is condemned to a living death and we can never be together in the afterlife! Taoist Priest: But he is from the east and you the west. How can you explain this? Ghost: Orientals are a stubborn race. Both his parents opposed our marriage. It was then that we decided if we could not be togther in this life, Peter and I would be together forever in the afterlife! You have robbed us of this by turning him into a vampire beast!"
 * Chinese Vampire: Filled with them.
 * Damsel in Distress: A drug agent is kidnapped, raped, tortured and held prisoner in the middle of the jungle.
 * Even Evil Has Standards: The drug lord is so moved by the ghost's tragic love story that he insists the priest perform a marriage ceremony on the spot.
 * Hollywood Cyborg: RoboWarrior, the "android-like robot".
 * Monster Mash: A cyborg battles against Chinese vampires, a drug cartel, a Kung Fu priest, a ghost and whatever a "Vampire Beast" is.
 * No Ending
 * Off-the-Shelf FX: Put it this way … the Vampire Beast is a guy wearing a gorilla mask.
 * Together in Death: That was the plan anyway...


 * Works out in the end though as they get married anyway despite being a ghost and some kind of super vampire creature.
 * Unholy Matrimony: The Vampire Beast and ghost become wed partway through the film.
 * We Can Rebuild Him: RoboWarrior. Twice. A drug agent is rebuilt as a cyborg after being killed by a vampire, then rebuilt again after being blown up by a rocket launcher.