Evil Alien Conquerors



"Du-ug: Have you any more Smirnoff Ice? Kenny: Yeah, there's half of one in the fridge. Du-ug: You will die painlessly!"

My-ik (Diedrich Bader) and Du-ug (Chris Parnell) have come from the planet Kabijj, with simple orders: 1. Conquer Earth. 2. Annihilate all human life.
 * Their orders are not so much: 3. Develop drinking problem. 4. Fall in love with divorced hussy.

Their plans are complicated by a transmat malfunction, turning their mighty swords into tooth-picks. Nevertheless, they have 24 hours to decapitate every human being on Earth before the overlords send the head-eating giant CROKER!!! to, uh, eat their heads.


 * Bizarre Sexual Dimorphism: Inverted. The men look like human males, but the women look...just plain weird.
 * Chewing the Scenery: IT WOULD TAKE A THOUSAND OF YOUR TINY MEALS TO SLAKE MY GIGANTIC APPETITE!!!
 * Incoming Ham: CROKER!!! stomps into a restaurant, and screams at the diners.
 * Incredible Shrinking Man: CROKER!!! is about 50 feet tall, until the same transmat malfunction that shrunk our heroes' swords shrinks him down to about 6 feet. He doesn't seem to notice, though.
 * Large Ham: All the aliens are this, but especially CROKER!!!
 * No Indoor Voice: Two guesses.