Hitman: Miami

Hitman: Miami is an Affectionate Parody fanfic of Hitman 2: Silent Assassin, written by "Agent 17" in 2003-2004.

It has been written as a Walkthrough for the supposed game Hitman: Miami, a series installment which has bald assassin 47 Happily Married to the Chinese hooker Mei-Ling and living in sunny Miami. He is forced back into business, however, after unknown assailants kill his wife and--what's worse--steal his laptop.

Unfortunately, the series petered out after eight missions and the promised "pretty deep plot and a twist ending" never saw the light of day.

You can read Hitman: Miami on the hitmanforum.com website, or directly on the forums where it originated.

"... if 47 walks in, a metal detector will be set off, and an army of guards will shoot 47 on sight, as is standard procedure in the event someone sets off a metal detector, anywhere, in the entire world."
 * Affectionate Parody
 * Air Vent Passageway: In mission 8.
 * All Crimes Are Equal: Parodying this trope from the original game:


 * Boxed Crook: 47 is made this in mission 6.
 * But You Screw One Goat!: The target in mission 3 is involved in illegal ferret smuggling, and uses the ferret for a specific purpose...
 * Cool Shades: Worn by 47 throughout mission 1.
 * Dead Fic
 * Gay Bar: The Bad Times Cafe in mission 2, so much.
 * Killer Gorilla: Mission 8 has 47 up against genetically engineered, gun-toting gorilla assassins.
 * Never Suicide: Taken to the extreme in mission 4, where 47 has to forge suicide notes for every single dead body in the villa (and there are a lot). Then he blows up the entire villa anyway.
 * Product Placement: For Coca-Cola throughout mission 3.
 * Punny Name: The first mission has 47 receive an email from a "Vladimir Cutzurnutzov".
 * Rhymes on a Dime: Mr. Pi during fights, much to 47's frustration.
 * Scannable Man: 47's barcode tattoo becomes a liability when he visits a supermarket. He needs to run his head across the barcode scanner before leaving.
 * Waiting Puzzle: The ending of mission 2 has 47 wait at a bus stop "for thirty-five real-time minutes".
 * Mission 5 has the player "watch the warehouse for hours on end", preferrably while reading an interesting novel.
 * Would Hurt a Child: In mission 7, the only way for 47 to get the money for the supermarket shopping is to garrotte the children in the toy section and steal their cash.
 * You All Look Familiar: A Running Gag is for many bit characters to look identical to minor characters from Hitman 2.