Batrachomyomachia

"Ἀρχόμενος πρώτης σελίδος χορὸν ἐξ Ἑλικῶνος ἐλδεῖν εἰς ἐμὸν ἧτορ ἐπεύχομαι εἵνεκ' ἀοιδῆς, ἣν νέον ἐν δέλτοισιν ἐμοῖς ἐπὶ γούνασι θῆκα, δῆριν ἀπειρεσίην, πολεμόκλονον ἔργον Ἄρηος, εὐχόμενος μερόπεσσιν ἐς οὔατα πᾶσι βαλέσθαι πῶς μύες ἐν βατράχοισιν ἀριστεύσαντες ἔβησαν"

- Batrachomyomachia, Lines 1-6

The Batrachomyomachia (Βατραχομυομαχία ) is an ancient Greek epic in the tradition of Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, which tackles the grave subjects of war and revenge, as the accidental murder of a prince leads the two armies into conflict.

Two armies composed of mice and frogs, respectively.

One of the ancient "Beast Epics", the Batrachomyomachia details a day-long battle between mice and frogs as a mock epic, parodying the genre (and making Parody Older Than Feudalism). The approximately three-hundred line poem's authorship is disputed: the Romans attributed it to Homer, while Plutarch called it the work of Pigres of Halicarnassus. Some modern scholars remain unconvinced and point instead to a poet in the time of Alexander the Great.

The mouse prince Crumb-snatcher comes to a lake for a drink when he encounters Puff-jaw, king of the frogs. They meet cordially, and Puff-jaw offers to bear his guest across the lake to his home. In the middle of the lake, however, a watersnake appears and the panicked Puff-jaw dives for safety, leaving the hapless Crumb-snatcher to drown.

His death is witnessed by the mice and, of course, This Means War

And so their day-long battle is described with all the elements of the epic genre: arming scenes, divine participation , character epithets, epic battle scenes, etc. A plethora of epic conventions, all used to describe warring mice and frogs. Thus in modern times, the word "batrachomyomachia" and its various translations has come to mean "a silly conflict."

The mock epic is available online here in the ancient Greek; in English here.


 * Badass: Among the frogs, Rueful is mentioned as the greatest and compared to Ares. Slice-snatcher is the best of the mice, threatening to rout the entire army of the frogs.
 * Bathos: You have the whole epic style, complete with the gods watching over the conflict, and it's about mice and frogs.
 * Bearer of Bad News: Lick-platter, who brings news of Crumb-snatcher's death to the mice.
 * Blatant Lies: Puff-jaw completely denies having anything to do with Crumb-snatcher's death.
 * Bolt of Divine Retribution: Zeus releases his bolt to try to frighten the mice into retreat and save the frogs from destruction. The mice continue fighting anyway.
 * The Cavalry: The crabs, which force the mice into retreat at the end of the day.
 * Civilized Animal: They do go to battle armed with spears and wearing armour.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Slice-snatcher would have routed all the frog warriors if Zeus hadn't intervened.
 * Divine Intervention: Zeus finally sends in reinforcements (crabs) to aid the frogs and force an end to the battle.
 * Wicked Weasel: Crumb-snatcher is introduced having escaped γαλέης κίνδυνον ("the danger of the weasel").
 * Frogs and Toads: Naturally.
 * Gorn: Just as violent as the Iliad... just with mice and frogs.
 * I Am X, Son of Y
 * King of the Gods: Zeus.
 * Lock and Load Montage: The two arming scenes, conventions of the epic genre.
 * Mouse Trap: One killed one of Crumb-snatcher's brothers.
 * Mouse World
 * The Muse: Invoked at the start, as traditional in epics.
 * Narrative Poem
 * Nominal Importance: Completely averted. Though we don't get much information about these characters besides their names, fathers' names, and how they die or kill their enemy.
 * Parody
 * Pass the Popcorn: Minus the popcorn, of course, but Athena and the other gods would rather be entertained by the mice and the frogs' conflict than help them.
 * Revenge: The mice declare war seeking vengeance for Crumb-snatcher's death.
 * Rule of Personification Conservation: An epic focusing on mice and frogs for the purpose of parody.
 * Sacred Hospitality: The frog king Puff-jaw offers to recieve Crumb-snatcher as a guest before he takes him across the lake and accidentally drowns him.
 * Sliding Scale of Anthropomorphism: Leans far more to the Talking Animal side of the scale, though the frogs and mice do wear armour and wield spears.
 * Snakes Are Evil: A watersnake causes Puff-jaw's panic and, inadvertently, Crumb-snatcher's death.
 * Super Drowning Skills: Crumb-snatcher's inability to swim and his abandonment by Puff-jaw sets off the conflict.
 * Talking Animal
 * This Means War
 * War God: Ares and Athena.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?