Star Wars/Funny

Star Wars has inspired uncountable parodies, homages and spoofs, but the source material itself has some classic laughs as well.

The Original Trilogy
"Officer: Where are you taking this... thing?"
 * "You don't need to see his identification..."
 * The Imperial Officer's reaction to Han and Luke bringing Chewie to the prison cell.

"C3PO: Listen to them, they're dying R2! Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough, it's all my fault!"
 * In A New Hope Han Solo charges at a battalion of Stormtroopers to drive them off, brandishing his gun and yelling like a madman. The Stormtroopers seem genuinely intimidated by this and flee - until Han chases them around a corner and finds himself facing a hangar bay full of hundreds of Stormtroopers. At this point his battle cry changes to a panicked scream and he does a rapid 180 - and despite all this he still manages to gun down one trooper on his way out, 'cause he's Han Solo.
 * Arguably funnier in the original cut, where it's just the same half dozen stormtroopers who were fleeing five seconds earlier. You can just tell they did a quick headcount and realized "Hey wait a minute, why are we running from just one guy again?"
 * According to the novelization, that's pretty much exactly what they were thinking at that point. They came to a dead end so they had to stop running and turn around, meaning Han had to stop running. Then there was a moment when they were looking at each other and Han was like "Oh shit, it's just me against all of them," while the stormies were like "Hey! It's all of us against just him! And here we've been running away from this lone moron the whole time! Now I'm angry! Let's kill him!"
 * When Han tries to bluff an intercom: "Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you? [winces]" And then he proceeds to blast the intercom after it didn't work, claiming it was a "boring conversation, anyway". Even funnier if you know that Harrison Ford made it all up on the spot because he forgot his lines.
 * Actually, I believe Ford deliberately never learned his lines because he wanted to make it look more real.
 * That scene in A New Hope where the stormtrooper cracks his head on a door frame.
 * A bit of Fridge Logic in "A New Hope" is that when Luke first meets Leia, she actually FLIRTS with him. Does she make it a habit to flirt with imperial troops?
 * She might have been trying to present a nonchalant appearance after being tortured, as in "You think that probe was bad? You never went to Spring Break on Aldreaan!"
 * Alternatively, she is trying to save the galaxy from a machine that will detonate inhabited worlds. Maybe she's not above finding her own way to sway the guards.
 * Or the entire sequence where Threepio forgets he's wearing a comlink, while Luke and the others are calling for help while trapped in a garbage chute; with the walls closing in. Then, when Threepio finally remembers and tells Artoo to shut all the chutes down, and then proceeds to confuse screams of jubilation for horrified death-rattles.

"C3PO: Just you reconsider playing that message for him! [R2 beeps a question] No, I don't think he likes you at all. [R2 beeps again] No, I don't like you either. [R2 beeps sadly]"
 * Or any of Threepio's interactions with Artoo during A New Hope. The original intent for Threepio was for him to be a fast-talking car salesman, but it was derailed - arguably for the better - when the actor decided to play all of Threepio's car salesman lines completely earnestly, making him into a British gentleman. As a result, the writing shifts so that he became less snarky in the later movies.

""Why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?""
 * Another good Threepio moment is the visual gag when R2 and Threepio are pulled out of the sand after the Sail Barge fight using magnets, and Threepio is upside-down.
 * In A New Hope where Han and Chewie are being chased down a Death Star corridor by a bunch of stormtroopers. One of them yells "Close the blast doors!" and Han and Chewie barely make it through in time. The stormtroopers are all still running towards the door, another one yelling "Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!"
 * One can just imagine the frustrated door-operator yelling back "MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"
 * Admit it, when Chewie strangled the shit out of Lando for ratting out on Han in The Empire Strikes Back, you also laughed till your stomach hurt.
 * R2-D2. It just seems natural because we're all so familiar with it, but I found him turning into a fire extinguisher is hilarious. Also the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when he gets eaten and vomited up by a monster, and does the robot equivalent of vomiting in response.
 * Also from Empire: The scene where Yoda goes through Luke's supplies and fights R2-D2 over food.
 * Just as good as Obi-Wan's original Jedi Mind Trick in A New Hope is when Luke demonstrates the trick in Return of the Jedi, using it on Jabba the Hutt's Twi'lek stooge Bib Fortuna - because Fortuna is Speaking Simlish, but it's still perfectly clear what's going on.
 * Han's expression when he realized that Leia and Luke are twins.
 * The whole "C-3PO is an Ewok god" sequence, especially when the Ewoks misunderstand Threepio's instructions to free his friends.
 * Made even funnier when Luke starts laughing. He's been playing The Stoic the entire movie.
 * I thought that was because of the stupidly funny things Han was suggesting to him.

"C3PO: R2! What are you doing here?
 * C-3PO narrating the whole Star Wars story to the Ewoks at the end of Episode VI, complete with sound effects.
 * Is this troper the only one who found Jabba holding a party on his ship as he takes Luke, Han, and Chewie to the Sarlacc in Return of the Jedi hilarious?
 * You are not. R2-D2 repurposed to serve drinks was the best part.
 * Particularly his Captain Obvious back and forth with 3PO:

R2-D2: Beep, beep, beep.

C3PO: Yes, I can see you're serving drinks!"

"Commander: We shall double our efforts.
 * Darth Vader's arrival on the second Death Star.

Vader: I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am."

"Han Solo: One thing's for sure; we're all gonna be a lot thinner."
 * When Luke arrives at the cantina in Mos Eisley we are given a few shots of the... local fauna, where the least weird things are Rubber Forehead Aliens. Then the barman points at them shouting, "We don't serve their kind here!". He then clarifies that he was talking about the droids.
 * Fridge Brilliance: The anti-droid prejudice is probably a holdover from the days of the Clone Wars, in which the Republic fought against the battle droids of the Trade Federation and Techno-Union Army.
 * Han Solo's observation when they are in the garbage chute (at least, the Spanish one is really funny):

"Han: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
 * When the rebels are sneaking into the shield generator on Endor, and Luke tells Han to be careful so he is not seen. Han responds with a cocky, "Hey. It's me!" The look Luke and Leia exchange is priceless.
 * On a similar note, the enormously smug grin Han gives the imperials after he tricks them into opening the door.
 * Another Threepio moment, from A New Hope.

Threepio: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.

Han: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.

Threepio: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win."

"Han: Not bad for a little fuzzball - Now there's only one left."
 * One moment in Return of the Jedi is when the Han's squad, now teamed up with the Ewoks, begin their assault on the Death Star mk II's shield generator. Just as their figuring out how to deal with the guards without raising the alarm, one bold Ewok scurries onto the group. Just when the rebels think this is turning into Leeroy Jenkins moment, he takes off on a stormtrooper's speeder, causing most of the guards to chase after him. Han's summation acts as the punchline;

"Han: How we doing?
 * Although only found in the script and novelization, there's something really amusing about the line "Ben reacts to Solo's stupid attempt to impress them with obvious misinformation".
 * During the first act of Return of the Jedi, Han and Luke have this exchange as they dragged out to face Jabba's wrath:

Luke: Same as always.

Han: That bad, huh?"

"Threepio: Don't try to blame me. I didn't tell you to turn on the thermal heater, I merely commented that it was freezing in the princess's chambers.
 * This is sort of a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but this conversation between Threepio and Artoo in Empire Strikes Back on Hoth is hysterical:

Artoo: beep beep beep.

Threepio: But it's supposed to be freezing! How we're going to dry out all her clothes, I'll never know, but -

Artoo: *bleeps sourly*

Threepio: Oh, switch off!"

"Han: No time to discuss this as a committee!
 * From The Empire Strikes Back, when they find out that the cave they landed in isn't a cave.

Leia: I AM NOT A COMMITTEE!

(3PO comes after them, then stumbles back down the hallway he came out of with a girly scream)"


 * More of a Hilarious In Hindsight moment, but in Ep. 4, A New Hope, after Leia is captured by storm troopers she, naturally having attitude, gives attitude to Vader. But if you think about it, Vader is Luke's father, right? And Luke and Leia are twins, right? So then that makes Vader Leia's father! She's backsassing her father!!!
 * In Return of the Jedi, after the Super Star Destroyer crashes into the Death Star, the Rebels on Admiral Ackbar's ship start cheering wildly. And if you listen carefully, you can hear someone exclaim, "DIE, DICKHEADS!"
 * Vader tells the bounty hunters that they're free to use any means at their disposal to find the Millenium Falcon, but he wants the passengers alive. "NO DISINTEGRATIONS," he says, pointing right at Boba Fett as if to say, "This means you."
 * The best part is Fett's response- he just sorta looks down dejectedly, as if he were silently whining.
 * In Empire, Yoda standing on Luke's feet when he's doing a handstand and telling him to concentrate as he levitating a rock. Then Luke's X-wing sinks deeper into the lake and Luke loses his balance and he falls and so does Yoda! Yoda: "Concen-TRAAAATE!. Yoda's expression as he falls and his pissed off look at Luke afterwards is hilarious!

The Prequel Trilogy
"Qui-Gon: You must have Jedi reflexes if you race pods.
 * "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
 * From The Phantom Menace - watch Padme's expression when she hears that Anakin has never finished a podrace till then.
 * Like Jar Jar or not, this troper loves the scene where Anakin and Qui-Gon are discussing podracing while Jar Jar is snagging food from Qui-Gon's plate with his lizard tongue:

Jar Jars tongue whips out, Qui-gon catches it in the blink of an eye, completely casually

Qui-Gon: Don't do that again."

"Elan: You wanna buy some deathsticks?
 * The following exchange in Attack of the Clones, between Obi-Wan and a man named Elan Sleazebagganno:

Obi-Wan: You don't want to sell me deathsticks.

Elan: I don't want to sell you deathsticks.

Obi-Wan: You want to go home and re-think your life.

Elan: [gets up and leaves] I'm going to go home and re-think my life."

"Anakin: Where's Padme?
 * Even funnier if you know the Expanded Universe: Elan found an honest job after that.
 * At the start of the arena fight in Episode II when Padme climbs the pillar:

Obi-Wan:She seems to be on top of things."

"Obi-Wan: I was beginning to wonder if you'd gotten my message.
 * The whole sequence of C-3PO swapping heads with a battle droid is a bit of an Overly Long Gag, but the way it begins - R2 gleefully pushing Threepio over the edge - is hilarious.
 * A tense moment in Revenge of the Sith has Yoda entering the new Emperor's office to confront him. Two Imperial Guards bar his way - and with shrug, Yoda bashes them both against the wall, knocking them senseless.
 * Not to mention Yoda using the Force to knock Palpatine arse-over-teakettle. Marvelous.
 * Also, Yoda transforming into a Tasmanian Devil-caliber spinning bouncing whirlwind of lightsaber fury for his duel with Count Douku... and then picking up his staff afterward and shuffling away like an enfeebled old man.
 * Coming right after that Anakin scene... Anyway, it was this troper's theater CMOF and CMOA. The entire theater broke out into cheering and laughter when Yoda did that. And so casually too.
 * R2 D2 curb stomping two super battledroids.
 * "Not to worry. We are still flying half a ship."
 * "Hands up Jedi."
 * Anakin and Padme are brought into the arena, met by the already chained up Obi-Wan:

Anakin: I transmitted it to Coruscant as you requested, Master. Then we decided to come rescue you.

Obi-Wan: Good job!"


 * The expression on Obi-Wan's face as he says this (right after glancing up at his chains and then looking back to Anakin) is a hilarious mix of sarcasm, false congratulations and frustration.

Expanded Universe Novels and Comics
"Nick: Don't tell me.
 * In the Labyrinth of Evil novel, the Noodle Incident mentioned in Episode III is elaborated upon. During an underground commando raid on Cato Nemoidia that Anakin and Obi-Wan are leading, the Jedi split up, with one team to act as a diversion. Obi-Wan and the majority of the force engage the majority of the droids in underground storage bays, and Obi-Wan accidentally deflects a blaster bolt into a canister of spores. Thinking quickly, he reaches for his breather mask, but discovers it to be missing. Cue Anakin getting a message from Obi-Wan's second-in-command, Commander Cody, that they need assistance. Puzzled why the larger force would need assistance, Anakin remembers something, and pulls out of his pocket... Obi-Wan's breather mask. Frantic, he races back to the tunnels, to discover Obi-Wan falling all over himself, intoxicated by the spores, and humorously declares that Obi-Wan has invented a new lightsaber form. Anakin then discovers that Obi-Wan single-handedly destroyed over fifty droids despite being completely intoxicated.
 * "What the Empire would have done was build a supercolossal Yuuzhan Vong-killing battle machine. They would have called it the Nova Colossus or the Galaxy Destructor or the Nostril of Palpatine or something equally grandioseâ€¦ And you know what would have happened? It wouldn't have worked. They'd forget to bolt down a metal plate over an access hatch leading to the main reactors, or some other mistake, and a hotshot enemy pilot would drop a bomb down there and blow the whole thing up. Now that's what the Empire would have done." Thank you General Solo, the EU so rarely does you justice.
 * Matt Stover's Shatterpoint has a ton of these. I'm fairly certain the best is

Mace: (deadpan) All right.

Nick: (shrieks)

Mace: (mouths) You told me not to tell you."

"Nick: " For me? Oh, General, you shouldn't have!"
 * Or else it's his line immediately after :

Mace: (deadpan) "I realize that.""

"Wedge: "We have the right tools to subvert our Imperial admiral."
 * Very nearly everything Aaron Allston has written in the X Wing Series, if it's not Heartwarming or a Tear Jerker. There are more moments than can possibly be listed.

Hobbie: "What tools?"

Wedge: "Oh, Wes's maturity, your optimism, and my diplomatic skills."

Hobbie: "We're doomed.""

"Announcer: "Honor or death."
 * Some standouts include their various Adumari outfits (with bonus points for Janson's chorus-line video on his cloak), and Janson's method of distracting his opponent, one Thanaer ke Sekae, before a duel:

Janson: "Wait! look at this."

Janson uses his blastsword, which leaves a glowing trail behind it when on, to doodle a bantha in midair.

Janson: "Look! A bantha!" (Beat) "Not familiar with banthas? Try this."

He draws out a local riding animal.

Janson: "An Adumari farumme! Here's another one." He draws an Adumari starfighter. "A Blade Thirty-Two!"

Thanaer: (impatiently) "Are you ready to die yet?"

Janson: "One more!" He draws a stick figure with a tiny head. "It's Thanaer ke Sekae!""

"Janson: "So it's like a blaster you have to hit people with? I have to get one!"
 * Red Squad's reactions on their first introduction to the blastsword:

Tycho: "Don't let him have a new type of weapon! It'd be like giving a lightsaber to a two year old.""

"Wes: "You know, wearing an Ewok as a swimsuit is a felony on some worlds."
 * And of course, the legendary Wraith Squadron motto: "Pretty. What do we blow up first?"
 * Bonus points for Myn Donos, of all people, coming up with it.
 * Wes and Hobbie showing up to pester Wedge about his date, Wedge tricking them.
 * An explanation: Wes and Hobbie follow Wedge into the lift, and continue to offer unwanted advice. Wedge selects the roof as the lift's destination, and while the others are puzzled as to why he wants to go there calls out "about face, forward march". Obeying the drill on instinct, Wes and Hobbie promptly walk into the back of the lift while Wedge steps between the closing doors and watches as the lift carries his chaperones up and out of his hair.
 * Elassar Targon, Master Of The Universe!
 * "You have just been bested by Dinner Squadron!" "And Silly Squadron!" "Consider yourselves humiliated. And welcome to Folor. Out."
 * "Thank you, thank you. Performances every hour, on the hour. Imperial madmen a speciality."
 * The Ewok pranks, escalating to the point where the usual prankster is running around naked and smeared with Ewok food before finding the whole squadron and - too much effort to explain it.
 * "Yub yub, Commander."
 * One of the highlights is a scene where Wedge is forced to fly a TIE Interceptor into battle, with the Ewok doll in his lap to keep up the illusion:

[later, during the battle proper]

Pirate: "An Ewok pilot! They've got an Ewok pilot!!!"

Wedge: "Bleed and die, yub yub!""

"Donos: "Sir, permission to kill Face?"
 * The scene where Wedge, Donos, and Face are picking out outfits to blend in with the native populace, and Face gets them the most ridiculous and silly looking clothes imaginable.

Wedge: "Granted. But keep the hat, like he says.""

"Wedge: "We'll need a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing."
 * The whole infiltration sequence is beautiful, from the Comically Small Bribe ("A whole credit.") to the synchronised head-bobbing to the reason for their visit being "Brides."
 * Another from Starfighters of Adumar -

Hobbie: "Boss, please tell me you're not putting us in women's clothing."

Wedge: "Very well. I'm not putting us in women's clothing."

(Scene Break)

Hobbie: "You lied to me."

Wedge: "I did. With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators."

Hobbie: "My faith is shattered."

Wedge: "You knew, when I said we needed four sets of women's clothing, that we were going to end up in them. You knew. So any hopes you had to the contrary were just self-delusion."

Hobbie: "I understand that. But I'd rather blame you than me."

Janson: "So. Who's best-looking in women's dress? I vote for myself.""

"Hobbie: Oh, I do it all the time. Whenever a Corellian cooks for us. Whenever Wes plans our missions.
 * A few minutes later, they're stopped by Adumari vigilantes. To complete their cover, Hobbie lets out a very convincing feminine scream of fear. When asked where and when he learned to do that:

Wes and Wedge: *glare*"

"Wedge: "Sithspit! What's that?"
 * Starfighters of Adumar again:

Wes: "That's the sun, Wedge. It's after dawn."

Wedge: "Well, it offends me. Turn it off."

Wes: "It's a hundred thirty, hundred forty million klicks from here."

Wedge: "Go up in your X-wing and shoot it down for me."

[conversation continues a bit from here]

Wes: "Wedge, stop acting like a little kid. You're embarrassing me." (Mind you, this is coming from Wes Janson, of all people.)"

"Iella: What's happening?
 * … and again…

Wedge: Oh, nothing. I think she (Cheriss) is finally starting to grow up a few years.

Iella: Good.

Wedge: Maybe we could make the process into a weapon and shoot Wes a few times with it.

Wes: I heard that."

"Lando: Nice landing.
 * The four pilots are introduced to their documentarian, a woman who wears a protocol droid head as a recording device. When the droid head malfunctions later, an Incredibly Lame Hurricane of Puns commences. Even Tycho can't resist, though Wedge is appalled.
 * Eventually leading to...the Cartann Minister for Crawling into Very Small Spaces.
 * When three of the Wraiths masquerade as Lod, Dod, and Fod Nobrin, Rednecks Extraordinaires.
 * In Heir to the Empire, Han lands the Falcon in the dense forests of Wayland, a maneuver that required him to tilt the Falcon sideways at one point to squeeze in.

Han: At least the communications array is still there.

Lando: You're never going to let that go, are you?

Han: You said, 'not a scratch.'"

"Lando: Come on, I spent an hour in the galley fixing this. Everybody dig in!
 * Shadows of the Empire:
 * When Lando has cooked something that looks like melted boot plastic and fertiliser, sprinkled with pond scum.

Chewie: (Growls something that doesn't sound complimentary.)

Lando: Hey pal, you don't like it, you cook next time.

Luke: Giju stew? It looks like old boot plastic and fertilizer drenched in pond scum. Smells like it too-

Leia: (Chuckles.)

Lando: Fine, fine! Don't eat it, that'll just mean more for me. (Eats a spoonful of it.) See? It tastes great, it - (His expression goes from irritated to amazed, slides to horror, then right into disgust.)"

"Dash: *Grins and pulls out his blaster* Okay, Goldie. My name is Man with a Blaster About to Cook You. Either you open the door or your busy Bothan is going to have to get himself a new receptionist.
 * What makes that scene really funny is that Leia is thinking the exact thing that luke says about the stew.
 * The scene where Luke and Dash Rendar are trying to bribe a droid.

The droid: Oh, dear.

Dash: And no security alarms, either. I'm watching you real carefully. Up, and do the door manually.

The droid: Very well, Man with a Blaster About to Cook You."

"Lando: *Chuckles* Yeah, be careful, you big clumsy - yow! *Skids and sits down in the sludge, getting his backside soaked.*
 * When Luke, Lando, Dash and Chewie are walking through the sewers to Xizor's palace, and Chewie has just nearly fallen into the stuff.

Dash: You should have worn old clothes.

Lando: Hey, Rendar, I don't have any old clothes.

Dash: You do now. I don't think you'll ever get 'em clean enough to wear in public. They'd drum you right out of the Elite Stormtroopers smelling like that.

Lando: Shut up."

"Baco: Some people just want to be left alone! Some people just aren't good enough to make a difference! Don't you get that?!
 * "Lando swore at the ship, a long string of highly colorful phrases describing what he wish the ship would go do with itself."
 * A great one towards the end of The Ahakista Gambit story arc of the Star Wars: Rebellion series. Main characters Wyl Tarson and Laynara are inspecting "one of those impenetrable doors" (don't you just hate them?) that they need to get through. Not to worry, they've brought tech expert and Snarky Non Human Sidekick Baco Par along to open it. Then they turn around to see Baco pointing a blaster at them. He knows they're planning to betray him, he's a little ticked off that they kidnapped him for this caper, and the empire can have the galaxy.

Laynara: (plucks Baco's blaster out of his hand) You're shaking. Don't be afraid, Baco--you can do this.

Baco: Yes, I--you wouldn't happen to have a drink on you, do you?

Laynara: No.

Baco: I suppose I'd better get on with it, then."


 * The disgruntled teammate's cut-and-run gambit subverted in nothing flat.
 * While the totally Canon Dis Continuity comic books starring Tag & Bink might be considered a Crowning Moment of Funny for Star Wars comics generally, they have their own when Imperial agents shoot the spy who gave Tag and Bink information about the second Death Star. The spy's name? Manny Both-Hans.

Video Games
"Mocking Query: Coooorta? Coorta, are you dead yet?"
 * in Shadows of the Empire lingering at your ship too long will prompt Leebo to say things like "we'll never get paid if you stay here all day" and then "go away, sir."
 * Rogue Squadron: "Lord Vader, please stop firing at me!"
 * "No! What are you doing, Master? REMOVE THE ARC WRENCH! REMOVE THE ARC WRENCH! .....medic!"
 * "But I need those circuits, Master. Please do not destroy them out of frustration. Calm yourself, I implore you."
 * That, plus everything else HK-47 says.
 * [[http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/KOTOR%202/content/Ebon
 * "Definition: Love is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometres away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope."
 * His knock-off brand, the HK-50 series, can get some good ones too:

"Exile: [Force Persuade] Give me all your credits and jump into that pit over there.
 * An absolute classic from the sequel:

Exchange Mook #1: Yes. Jumping into pit is good.

Exchange Mook #2: Get to ground faster that way."

"Rakatan Elder Councillor: Is this some type of test, Revan? Some type of trick? You came seeking our aid; you came in search of a way to enter the Temple of the Ancients. You claimed to be seeking a way to destroy the Star Forge, and we were foolish enough to believe you. Unaware of your true nature, we helped you enter the Temple. But you betrayed us, Revan. Instead of destroying the terrible legacy of our ancestors, you unleashed the evil of the Star Forge upon an unsuspecting galaxy. And now you stand before the Council of Elders once more. And once more we ask you: for what reason have you returned, Revan?
 * At this point, some followers will react with a light-side style Influence reaction...

Revan: Uh... I need to get into the Temple so I can destroy the Star Forge."

"There is a locked door, and you need to get to the other side. What do you do?
 * During the questions for what kind of Jedi you'll be:

1. Blast it open.

2. Hack into the lock to get it open.

3. Knock."

"Dead-Eye Duncan: You'd better watch yourself. I'm the number five ranked duelist in the Arena!
 * This exchange from the first game:

Player: Out of how many?

Duncan: Uh... five. But it's an elite group, okay? It's not like just anyone can step into the dueling chamber! Well, actually, anyone can... but not many do!"

"Lashowe: "Do you know how many Sith there are here on Korriban?"

Jolee: "Twelve! No, wait, Thirteen!"

Canderous: "Nice one, old man."

Jolee: "Thank you, it takes effort to be properly irreverent at my age.""

""Are you an angel? Aw, I'm just kidding. That's the worst line I've ever used. Hope some poor kid doesn't start using it.""

"Atton: "Did anybody here catch that? All I understood was 'very.'"

Bao-Dur: "I think he wanted us to give up the General to his poorly-trained collection of bounty hunters."

Atton: "Ah. Well that should explain it. Which one do you want?"

Bao-Dur: "I'll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance.""

"Exile: [on being asked about Jedi falling in love] "I believe it's called 'Pulling a Bindo'."
 * The Disciple or Handmaiden completely not getting Atton's sardonicism. "No, Atton! I think it might be a trap!"/"What are you talking about? It's obviously a trap!"
 * Jolee and his story about "swirling Force" and destiny. "You know, you remind me of someone I used to know. Promising young man, great destiny. Breath like a bantha."

Brianna: "Pulling...a Bindo?"

Exile: "Sorry, bad joke, bald man, long story...""

"Bastila: On which planet were you born?
 * Carth and Revan flirting, her hurting his "man-feelings". "Don't tell me not to take it personally, you hairless wookiee!"
 * One of the few times the Slap Slap is so much fun, it's almost a shame to get to the Kiss.

Revan: Kashyyyk. I'm a Wookiee...can't you tell?

Bastila: What is your background?

Revan: I'm a Hutt in human form planning to overthrow the Republic.

Bastilla: How old are you?

Revan: 3012. Healthy living, you know.

Bastila: I see you intend to be childish about this."

"Vossk: There are the Twin Suns, two Twi'lek slaves from Ryloth, slaves who killed their masters and developed a taste for it. They have mastered a dance of death. Very beautiful, very dangerous.
 * Any attempt at all to flirt with Bastila.

Exile: Two beautiful Twi'leks are hunting me? How is that bad?

Brianna: * rolls eyes* "

"Carth: Wow she, er, really misses her droid, doesn't she?
 * Carth and Bastila play off each other so very well:

Bastila: There's no need to make fun of her Carth, she's obviously desperate.

Carth: I'll say...

Bastila: Carth! Enough!"

"C8-42: She... she tried to treat me as her dead husband. It was not healthy for her.
 * From that same quest:

Player: Er... ALL the time?

C8-42: You don't want to know...

Player: Um... probably not..."

"Bastila: [To a Sith] Ignore Carth. He's mentally deficient. And he drools."

"You unlocked achievement:"Worst Dayshift Manager Ever"!//"
 * Either of them plus Mission is a good bet, too. For instance, one of Mission and Bastila's conversations opens with Mission asking Bastila if she's ever used the Force for pranks, which she denies rather vehemently. Yes, the conversation involves a Force-assisted pratfall.
 * The Force Unleashed, first level, where you play as Darth Vader. When you kill a certain number of Storm Troopers:

"Imperial Admiral: As you can see, Snookums, the whole crew has been putting in overtime... in fact, I think the Christmas recital will be the bestest in years! Little Timmy's Drummer Boy is--
 * This is even funnier considering that Darth Vader is actually voiced by Chad Vader in this game.
 * Taking out an enemy Jedi/Sith hero in Battlefront. You have to do this by grenading them to fall out the window.
 * The Silliness Switch in Rebel Assault II that adds an MST3K style Vader at the bottom of the screen, and adds Dada-esque subtitles to all the cutscene dialogue.

Darth Vader: What I see, Choralmeister Lumpy, is that no has been washing these windows in my absence! This ship isn't your personal garbage can, young man!"


 * In Battlefront 2, if you are playing as the Separatists and get enough kills to get Jango Fett, sometimes you may hear a clone say something along the lines of "It's Jango Fett! And he's brought his head!"
 * A lot of normal soldiers in in Battlefront 2 will make comments on the appearance of special characters, usually along the lines of "Oh Crap, it's him!"
 * The Party Mode cheat code. Cartoony "Pow" effects and confetti popping out when you hit things with a lightsabre. Such fun.
 * Jedi Starfighter has plenty of funny moments. Highlights include the unlockable Hilarious Outtakes, the "My Day At Work" short, and Adi's interactions with Nym. Bella's Villainous Breakdown is also very amusing.
 * Finding the literal Easter Eggs on Mt. Merakan.
 * In the first Rogue Squadron, there is a cheat to turn the V-Wing into a Buick Electra. Also awesome.

Other

 * Darth Vader is SUCH a smartass.
 * Pfft. That's nothing..
 * This is what happens when Star Wars goes Totally Radical.
 * You will never take Lord Vader or Soviet Russia seriously again.
 * "Prepare for weapons test!"
 * Salacious will be with you. Always.