Apology Not Accepted

""Okay. I don't forgive you.""

- Herb Kazzazz, BoJack Horseman.

Fiction loves to advocate for Forgiveness and Turning the Other Cheek. A person has done a terrible thing. They are truly remorseful and are willing to make amends. A simple apology will probably do the trick.

Well, no.

Real life isn't all about that; in addition to some people holding grudges, some actions are too heinous to be Easily Forgiven. Apology Not Accepted happens when the injured party refuses a verbal, written or otherwise communicated apology. Most cases portray the person rejecting the apology as a grudge holder and unsympathetic. Sometimes, an apology will rejected at first, then accepted later. There is the rare case where a work acknowledges that some things cannot be forgiven. The Aesop then becomes that sometimes, an apology in and of itself doesn't fix things, and no one is obligated to forgive you.

You will most likely see this trope in a drama, though there are comedic examples.

Anime and Manga

 * In Pet Shop of Horrors, Leon's little brother Chris comes to live with him after being raised by their aunt and uncle. Why? Because Chris thought his aunt and uncle were his parents; his cousin Sam rather brusquely broke the news that they weren't siblings. He was responsible for his real mother's death, since she had him at fifty. This revelation traumatized Chris so much that he stopped speaking, much to his aunt and uncle's dismay. Despite them giving a What the Hell, Hero? to Sam, the damage was done. In the final volume, Sam comes to the pet shop where D is watching Chris, and says she wants Chris back in her life. She apologizes for what she said, and asks if they can try again. At first, Chris isn't into it, but later changes his mind, reconciling with Sam as well as his aunt and uncle.
 * In her comic memoir Return to Society Punch!, Naoko Takeuchi recounted that everyone at Kodansha was so sorry because they lost several pages of her follow-up series PQ Angels, and they kept passing the buck. Needless to say, she did not accept their apologies. (This was before digital backups and scans.) To add insult to injury, she was pressured to do another long-form series after finishing Sailor Moon, despite begging for a break, and she was burned out from working all the time. Takeuchi got so fed up that she quit Kodansha, took a long-needed vacation for a year, and went to work for Shueisha instead.
 * Sailor Moon:
 * In an early episode, Shingo accidentally breaks his best friend Mika's handmade prizewinning doll at school. He clams up rather than apologizing, and their classmates tell Usagi about this. Usagi confronts Shingo, as he's crumpling up apology notes, and tells him to go to Mika's house and apologize. Shingo tries, but Nephrite beat him to the punch and compelled Mika to make dolls while not talking to anyone, rejecting the apology. When Shingo asks Usagi for advice, she suggests a present would do the trick. He makes a clay Sailor Moon doll, and brings it to Mika at her next doll exhibition. It's only then he and Usagi realize a youma had possessed Mika, and drains her. The youma knocks Shingo out and smashes the clay doll. Mika revives, sees the clay shards as well as Shingo's apologetic look, and finally forgives him.
 * In the S finale, Sailor Uranus and Neptune call out Usagi for giving the Holy Grail to Mistress 9 in an attempt to help Hotaru fight from the inside and regain control of her body. It worked, but Mistress 9 and Pharaoh 90 nearly brought about the Silence with the Grail. Usagi apologizes as her friends defend her from the Outer Senshi, saying she doesn't want them to fight. Uranus and Neptune assert that if she fights them, without her friends, they'll consider her apology. This ended up being a Secret Test of Character; when Usagi is pinned and faces a fatal attack, her Messiah powers awaken and knock down Uranus and Neptune. They then apologize to her for the insubordination to the real Messiah, something she accepts.

Comic Books

 * The Legend of Korra comic Ruins of the Empire:
 * Kuvira says she is sorry multiple times for her actions in Book Four when she tried to make herself Empress of the Earth Kingdom, and no one accepts them. Suyin rightly tells off Kuvira for thinking she is entitled to forgiveness after what she did to Zaofu and the Beifongs. Asami hasn't forgotten Kuvira killed her father. Only one rejection actually makes Kuvira start her Heel Realization: when her ex-fiance Baatar Jr. says he doesn't forgive her. He calls her out for trying to kill him when Korra took him hostage, and for assuming that he would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. Baatar Jr. admits that he fucked up, but unlike Kuvira, he wouldn't sacrifice someone he loved.
 * As for Baatar Jr., he is truly repentant about helping Kuvira take over Zaofu and imprisoning his family. From what we've heard, his mother is the only one who has forgiven him and petitioned the courts to change his sentence from life in prison to house arrest. No other Beifong has forgiven Baatar Jr. or trusts him, including his father. They all are pretty cold and awkward around him, with Opal being more forthright about her dislike. Baatar Jr. fully accepts that he deserves all this scorn in this Ironic Hell.
 * In The Sandman, Dream apologetically and solemnly tell Rose this multiple times as he prepares to kill her to save the Dreaming, as she is an Apocalypse Maiden. Rose eventually shouts at him to stop apologizing, and to get it over with already.

Film

 * In Lilo & Stitch, Mertle says this word-for-word when Lilo apologizes for attacking her in dance class and biting her. Lilo's apology is sincere, but from her expression she knows that even if Mertle weren't The Bully and Alpha Bitch, she wasn't expecting any forgiveness.
 * One heartbreaking version in the sequel Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch. The climax has Stitch realizing his DNA is coming apart, compelling him to attack everyone around him including Lilo. He runs off after scratching her before her big recital. Lilo abandons the recital to rescue Stitch as he flies away. She says she's sorry for yelling at him earlier after Jumba finally tells her what the problem is, telling Stitch to come back. Stitch says he can't come back, to keep her safe, before glitching again and crashing into the mountainside.
 * The Little Mermaid has Sebastian attempt to apologize to a sobbing Ariel for accidentally revealing her crush on a human to Triton as well as her grotto of human trinkets, leading to Triton destroying it all to "teach her a lesson". Sebastian only gets as far as her name before she tells him to go away. All he and Flounder can do is leave heartbroken.

Literature

 * The novel 72 Hour Hold features the protagonist Keri delivering this to her mother when she gets sober and wants to reenter Keri's life. Keri's mother was a drunk who often abandoned her daughter emotionally; even though she's sober, she keeps messing up. As a result, when her mother tries getting in touch with Keri again, Keri turns her down rudely to focus on her daughter Trina.
 * Divergent has Al bawling when he apologizes to Tris for assisting in an attempt on her life, after she ranked first in the Divergent faction. Her response is that if he touches her again, she will kill him.
 * Harry Potter has this happen a few times in the past and the present:
 * Zigzagged with Percy in the last two books, because he doesn't apologize at first for turning his back on the family and making his mother cry. In fact, he doesn't talk to them period after the Wizarding World learns that Fudge was lying about Voldemort's return, meaning his father was right all along not to trust Fudge. The new Minister, Rufus Scrimgoeur, tries to use Percy to gain admittance to the Burrow, where Harry is spending the winter holidays. Percy is given a few moments with his family, where he could apologize for being an ambitious ass, while the Minister talks to Harry. Instead, Percy acted like the previous year didn't happen so his younger siblings tossed mashed parsnips at him, including Ginny.
 * Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows showed in a flashback that Severus Snape made his worst mistake by calling Lily a "Mudblood" when she was defending him from James and his friends. It was the last straw, and she ended their friendship. When he camped out by the Fat Lady to offer an apology, she wouldn't accept it.

Live-Action TV

 * Buffy the Vampire Slayer
 * In the season 2 premiere, Buffy is suffering bad PTSD from the Master killing her, and it means that she's unusually sour with all her friends. Xander tolerates this until vampires kidnap Willow, along with Giles and Cordelia, to bring back the Master. Buffy is horrified and apologizes for being off her game. He tells her to shove it unless she can help mount a rescue, though they later make up once their friends are saved.
 * In "Lover's Walk" in season 3, Cordelia and Oz learn that Xander and Willow were having an affair, so Cordelia gets injured. Xander is truly apologetic seeing Cordelia in a hospital bed and tries to say he's sorry, but Cordelia won't even look him in the eye. Understandable, considering she gave up her social status for him in season 2. Oz tells Willow bluntly that he needs space and she can't just act like nothing happened.
 * Like in the comic, The Sandman has these moments:
 * Death yells at Dream for worrying her and not calling for help when Burgess held him captive. She calls him self-tempered and proud. He gives a meek apology; in response she tosses the bread at him. With that said, Death does forgive him, and takes her with him on his rounds.
 * Dream say he's sorry to Rose in the season 1 finale, because they realize that he needs to kill her to stop the damage to the Dreaming she is causing as an uncontrollable Vortex. Dream was hesitating because he does not kill. He's come to genuinely like Rose when working with her to find the errant Dreams as well as her brother Jed, and she chose to save him from the Corinthian. Rose rejects the apology by gently telling him to stop.
 * Better Call Saul:
 * In the wake of Chuck McGill's death, Howard Hamlin innocently tells Jimmy that he suspects Chuck killed himself, which he did. Later, Jimmy's girlfriend and partner in crime Kim confronts him and completely tears into him, screaming in his face about how insensitive and selfish he was for offloading his guilt over Chuck's suicide onto Jimmy. Despite being genuinely apologetic and willing to make things right, Kim tells him to piss off and storms out of his office. But unlike most examples of this trope, Kim is the one who's clearly in the wrong. While she's genuine about her care of Jimmy, she's also hijacking Chuck's death and using it as an excuse to be nasty to Howard due to unresolved feelings of anger and betrayal over how their working relationship went sour. And later on, this rejected apology would serve as the starting point in her and Jimmy crossing the Moral Event Horizon and ruining his life and reputation out of petty spite.
 * Likewise, when Nacho dies, Mike visits his father to deliver the news. Mike--who had grown fond of Nacho but was forced to let him die on Gus Fring's orders--assures his dad there will be justice for his son's death, and that he'll get revenge on the Salamancas, but he's not having any of it. As far as he's concerned, violence begets violence, and there's no meaningful difference between the violence that took his son and the violence that will be inflicted on the Salamancas. After throwing Mike's words back in his face and making it clear that he's no better than the men responsible for his son's death, he ends the conversation right there and leaves.

Newspaper Comics

 * Zigzagged in an early Calvin and Hobbes arc. Calvin is sincerely apologetic for making Susie cry by calling her names. He messes up an early apology to her but then tells her that he didn't mean to make her cry. When she accepts it, he runs off relieved, glad that was easy. Susie then shouts after Calvin that he could grovel a little.
 * FoxTrot:
 * An early arc has a serious example where Peter writes secret admirer notes to Paige as a prank, and lets her wait in the rain for several hours before revealing the ruse and laughing at her. In response she glares at him on the walk home, retreats to her room, and broods after changing to dry clothes. Andy tries to mediate, and presumably explains to Peter that what he did was pretty awful, but Peter does his apology while decked in catcher's clothes in case Paige punches him in the face. Paige in the next strip makes it clear she doesn't accept his apology, giving him a The Reason You Suck Speech about how it felt nice that someone thought she was special, and it wasn't funny to find out it was a joke. Peter looks genuinely guilty, and as an apology he bakes her cookies.
 * In one case, Paige obsessed over a signed BackSync Boys photo that she received, and she was terrified to leave it at home while she was at school, but was also not wanting to let it leave her sight. Andy dissuaded her from calling a security company to protect it, saying that she would watch the photo while Paige was at school. Paige made her mother promise to keep an eye on it. Andy promises, just as Quincy gets out of his cage. The next strip has Andy trying to first skirt responsibility by checking if Paige forgot about their conversation, freaking out Paige as she immediately realizes what must have happened. Quincy chewed up the photo, leaving only chewed-up bits on Paige's desk. Andy apologizes, but Paige holds a grudge against her for breaking her promise, and for trying to do "legal loopholes" to not feel guilty by saying her shoelaces were crossed and that a person can't watch a photo for 24 hours. Peter tries to talk sense into Paige, pointing out she's being on hard on their mother, but Paige starts making Andy do extra chores and pampering for her out of guilt. This only ends when the BackSync Boys send Paige a few dozen autographed photos, rendering her rage useless. When she apologizes to her mother for being unreasonable, Andy simply forgives her.
 * Pearls Before Swine: Rat's apologies tend to be rejected because they are made under duress:
 * Scott Adams once tied up Rat after he leveled the former's mansion with a bulldozer. Rat tried to frantically apologize and butt-kiss, but it didn't work.
 * While doing a road trip, Rat's car broke down in a town with Family Circus devotees. They proceed to tie him up in revenge for all the parodies that Rat did about the comic. He attempts to apologize by calling the Family Circus creator and beg, only for the guy to troll him.

Puppet Shows

 * Muppet Treasure Island has Miss Piggy (Benjamina Gunn) knock Kermit (Captan Smollett) into a gong for leaving her at the altar. He apologizes to her later when he summons her for an audience to chew him out, but she tells him that sorry isn't enough!
 * Sesame Street
 * One time Telly was wearing a huge cap his uncle gifted him, but it kept whacking Elmo every time he turns his head. After he knocks Elmo to the ground in Hooper's store and apologizes, Elmo finally loses it, tells Telly that this isn't okay, and please take the hat off!
 * Baby Bear and Goldilocks often have this problem. Goldilocks has a competitive streak despite wanting to genuinely become Baby Bear's friend, and tends to mess up things for him in her attempts to "help". Nervous Wreck Baby Bear gets genuinely fed up and rejects her apologies. At one point Justice Sonia Sotomayor stepped in to resolve a dispute between them when Goldilocks broke his favorite chair by accident.

Theatre

 * The Little Mermaid goes further in the stage show with Sebastian being able to apologize to Ariel after accidentally outing her love for Eric and grotto to Triton. Ariel rejects the apology and says she's running away to find Eric on the surface. Sebastian doesn't help his case by starting "Under the Sea" to convince her to stay in the ocean, as she swims off in frustration.

Video Games

 * In Undertale, you can choose to not forgive Asriel when he says that he is sorry. He understands why, all things considered.

Web Original

 * The Nostalgia Critic once tried to apologize to Dante Basco for his video on the "Ten Worst Avatar episodes". Dante, all decked in Zuko getup and shooting fireballs at the Critic, wasn't having it.

Western Animation

 * Avatar: The Last Airbender:
 * A horrifying example in flashback: Zuko spoke out of turn during a war meeting about a general who wanted to use recruits as canon fodder, against Iroh's warnings, and had to settle the argument through an Agni Kai, a fire duel. He thought he would fight the general who brought up the plan he hated, but instead would have to fight his father, Emperor Ozai. Out of filial piety and fear, Zuko apologizes to Ozai for his breach of etiquette and says that he won't fight his own father. In response, Ozai burns off part of his face to "teach" a bit of respect, and exiled his heir. Iroh couldn't watch while Zhao and a young Azula cheered Ozai on with glee. Season 3 had Zuko realize this was super messed up of a father to do to their own child, and called out Ozai for this during the eclipse.
 * Zuko sincerely apologizes to the Gaang when trying to convince them to hire him as Aang's firebending teacher, after the Day of the Black Sun invasion failed and last time they saw him, he helped his sister Azula take over Ba Sing Se. Sokka and Katara aren't into it, and Aang is unusually hostile towards Zuko out of guilt towards the soldiers he had to leave behind. While they do later agree to take him under probation since he fought the assassin he hired, Katara makes it clear that any funny business, and she will "end" his destiny.
 * BoJack Horseman uses this to denote when BoJack has irreparably screwed up or damaged a relationship. He's not the only character to undergo these screw-ups, but he is the main one:
 * "The Telescope" has BoJack give an "I feel bad, I'm sorry" apology to his mentor Herb Kazzaz when the latter has terminal cancer. He had refused to stand up for Herb when the latter was outed as a gay man, fired from Horsin' Around, and blacklisted, and hadn't talked to him in twenty years. Herb delivers the first Wham! Line of the series: "| I don't forgive you." He says that it wasn't getting fired that hurt; it was that he needed a friend, and BoJack wasn't there for him before or after the firing. Herb will never forget that his best friend abandoned him in his time of need.
 * In "Escape From L.A.," BoJack turns down Penny Carson's advances on him because, as he explains, he is old enough to be her father. Even if she's seventeen, the age of consent in New Mexico, it would be wrong. Then after Charlotte turns down BoJack, she hears Penny's voice coming from BoJack's boat which is parked in the Carson backyard (long story), and climbs up, to find her daughter undressing BoJack. After a beat of silence, Charlotte sends Penny to her room. BoJack tries to apologize, but Charlotte cuts off BoJack, telling him not to even say it. She says that he needs to be out in thirty minutes, or she will call the cops. "And if you try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.".
 * A variant happens in "Fish Out of Water." While promoting Secretariat in an underwater city, BoJack spots Kelsey Jannings promoting another indie film to an audience of none. He remembers that he got her fired, and hides from her. Also, thanks to the aquatic suits they're wearing, BoJack can't verbally talk to her. His first attempts to deliver her an apology note leads to him on a bus that goes thirty nautical miles out of the city, and his second attempt is literally watered down as he tries to deliver it to her. Then he finds out after she leaves in a taxi that a button on his suit allows him to talk underwater, frustrating him to no end.
 * Princess Carolyn ends up on the receiving end of this in "Best Thing That Ever Happened" from BoJack of all people. She screwed up his chance to be in two movies, one that would have mended his friendship with Kelsey since he got her fired from Secretariat. BoJack prepares to fire Princess Carolyn for her screwup, and much of the episode is about Princess Carolyn trying to apologize, beg, negotiate, and point out that she's had to clean up many of BoJack's screw-ups over twenty three years' worth of representation and one mistake shouldn't mar their relationship. It doesn't work, and it takes two more seasons for them to properly reconcile.
 * "It's You" has Todd shutting down BoJack's attempts to apologize for sleeping with Emily when Todd was trying to rekindle a relationship with her. While Emily is a consenting adult who shares as much of the blame, BoJack had been emotionally abusing Todd in a toxic friendship. He says that he's tired of how BoJack thinks an apology will fix all of the terrible shit that he does to the people he supposedly cares about, blaming it on the drugs or his abusive family. They do reconcile later, but Todd sets clear boundaries with BoJack and refuses to be his Butt Monkey or charity project to make BoJack feel better.
 * "The Old Sugarman Place" shows in flashback that BoJack's maternal grandparents Joseph and Honey had a variant after Honey drunkenly made their daughter Beatrice, BoJack's mother, drive their car after a party and caused them to crash. Why did Honey engage in these dangerous antics? Because she was grieving her older son Crackerjack, who died in the Second World War, and wanted to feel alive again. While covered in lacerations and scratches, Honey begged Joseph not to despise her for her "hysterics," apologizing for acting out, and Joseph yelled at her both for making a scene at a nearby party and nearly getting Beatrice killed. Beatrice tried to mediate by asking her father not to yell at her mother, but both parents ignored her. As befitting the time period, Joseph got Honey lobotomized to stop her "hysterics" when Honey begged him to fix her, making her an Empty Shell.
 * In "Free Churro," BoJack wonders if his mother was saying that she was sorry with her last words, "I see you" and he talks about that if it was an apology, it was a shitty thing to deliver to him on her death bed, when she wasn't lucid and he could receive no closure. He rejects it, saying that he wanted her to see him when she was alive. While giving a eulogy, BoJack realizes that she could have easily been reading the "ICU" sign in the hospital ward and that crushes him; Beatrice truly felt she had done nothing wrong to him.
 * "The Stopped Show" has a drug-addicted BoJack learn that he choked his costar and current flame Gina during a stunt gone wrong. When Princess Carolyn shows BoJack the footage reluctantly, after it got leaked online, BoJack is truly horrified. He apologizes to Gina before they prepare to lie during an interview that it was just acting. Gina refuses to accept it, still traumatized and wearing lots of makeup to cover the bruises around her neck. She says that they won't even talk about it; they are done, and will only be civil on-set. BoJack understands why, all things considered, and awkwardly plays along with the coverup interview because Gina doesn't want to be known as "the girl that was choked by BoJack Horseman".
 * "Xerox of A Xerox" ends this way, on an industry-wide level. BoJack and Princess Carolyn stage an apology interview after BoJack's friend group gets wind of a news story that will implicate BoJack in Sarah Lynn's death. While his remorse is sincere, all of his lines are spoon-fed to him and carefully edited so that he doesn't admit to any wrongdoing that would damage his reputation. It seems to work, and people love BoJack after it airs. But... he does a second one when the network executive in charge of the first interview suggests a followup to boost ratings. Biscuits Braxby goes from delivering softball questions to confronting him with evidence that he left Sarah Lynn to die and lied to the police about it. She goes from that Wham! Line to a troubling pattern that he has where people get hurt due to the power he has over them. During her curveballs, BoJack starts spluttering and throws fellow alcoholic Sharona under the bus while also asserting he already apologized to her. Let's just say none of the apologies in either interview are accepted by the next episode: everyone in Hollywoo hates BoJack, Sarah Lynn's abusive mother and stepfather sue for damages, and people at BoJack's Al-Anon meeting give him Death Glares and What the Hell, Hero? gestures for breaking the "anonymous" code while Sharona is nowhere in sight. The Xerox company also bankrupts BoJack in a lawsuit for mentioning their name.
 * "Nice While It Lasted" has a really sad one, in the series finale. BoJack finds Diane on the roof at Princess Carolyn's business wedding. He tries to start their old dynamics, but Diane shuts him down. She then reveals the voicemail that he sent before his suicide attempt, that he was going swimming because no one cares about him, and he would only stay out of the pool if Diane picked up the phone. Diane points out that she was asleep in Chicago, hours away, and she wouldn't have come to rescue him in time. BoJack, as it turns out, doesn't remember any of this; he was hopped up on drugs and alcohol, and sincerely apologizes to Diane. She doesn't accept it, explaining that he caused her to spiral into a near nervous breakdown. Fortunately, the year that BoJack was in prison and her blocking him gave Diane that time. With that said, she is still mad at BoJack and makes it clear their friendship is over, because she can't be his moral center. BoJack acknowledges that her reasons are more than fair, and says that Diane doesn't owe him anything, not even closure. She at least gives him that, thanking him for being in her life.
 * One Tom and Jerry short has a piano fall on Tom while he's tormenting Jerry. The cat at the pearly white gates says that Tom can't get into heaven unless he has Jerry sign a certificate of forgiveness within an hour. Tom returns to life, frantic; he tries to offer a cake as an apology to Jerry, only for Jerry to eat the cake and spray pen ink in the cat's face. Faking the signature won't work because both the cat angels and dog demons are watching. When they both see the dog demon laughing as the clock ticks, Tom starts to beg and mimes his predicament, and Jerry is bewildered but signs the agreement. Unfortunately, Tom is too late and ends up in Hell... until he wakes up by the fire where a stray coal had burned him and realizes it was a dream. He not only sighs in relief but also knocks on Jerry's mouse hole, thanking him with kisses. Naturally, Jerry is confused, and ends the short shrugging at the camera.
 * Total Drama Island has "drama" in the title for a reason.
 * While they were both at the resort for the eliminated contestants in season one, Harold reveals he tried to apologize to Courtney after rigging the votes and getting her knocked out of the competition, and admits it was immature of him to take out his frustration at Duncan and DJ on Duncan's Love Interest. Courtney spends the episode chasing him down, eventually wrapping a telephone pole around him. She says the only way he could make up for it is by voting for Duncan to win. Naturally, Harold refuses.
 * In an episode leading to the season one finale that has no eliminations except for "Mr. Coconut," the Companion Cube that Owen created, the final four contestants get stranded on a remote part of the island due to a freak flood. Heather cries on a confession cam when recapping the moment that Gwen and Duncan abandoned her in favor of sailing a raft to find civilization, after Duncan made an "every camper for themselves" credo, and apologized to Beth and Lindsay on-camera for using them to get her win. It didn't work; the followup special showed both girls refused to ally with Heather again.
 * Gwen and Courtney ended up trading this dynamic for a bit during and after season three. At first, Courtney was convinced that Duncan had a thing for Gwen; Gwen even told Courtney in season two that Duncan only had eyes for his girlfriend. Unfortunately, Courtney was proven right, and Duncan in season three kisses Gwen in front of the confession cam...and a shocked Tyler. Everyone finds out about Duncan's cheating next episode, and public opinion of Gwen becomes dismal. Gwen is truly apologetic when the truth comes out, because she considers Courtney a friend, and throws an elimination challenge that allows Courtney to stay. Courtney doesn't accept the apology until All-Stars where Gwen breaks up with Duncan for Courtney's sake and does a cathartic wrestling match with All-Stars. Then the roles get reversed in "Sunday Muddy Sundae" when Mal discovers that Courtney was going to throw a lot of her former competitors and now friends under the bus, including Gwen. Gwen isn't just upset about the betrayal but also about the principle of the matter, that in the end her atonement was All for Nothing.