The House of the Dead (series)/Narm

"Logan: DAMES! James: Row-GUN! Logan: G and Hahrry are awll RIGHT! Let's leave da rest to DEM! AUGHN we GO!... To our NEXT bad-owl! James: As long as we have de will to lib..."
 * "The original sin that man is resphaansible to... To protect the loyfe coycle! I have maaaig a creacher to rule over maaahn kiiine! This is tha faynl bawdl! Shoe yourself! Our new ruler, the Empurr!" followed by the camera pointing at a wall.
 * In fact, anything GOLD MEN anyone says in any House of the Dead game, but particularly 2.
 * Jane, go and prevent the confusion in the city.
 * Dogs of the AMS. time-they-made-a-move
 * Our emperor shall awaken soon. Hurry frenz.
 * The chaos of the city is increasing!
 * It's too quiet. >:/
 * G's bloodstains...
 * We're in a serious state!
 * HOW COULD ANYONE DO THIS
 * Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmmmm. People of the AMS, I am Goldman! I don't care if you try to get in my way or not. In time, you will find out who's right. Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmmmm. This is a present from me to you. Look at your left/right. Well, friends. I look forward to meeting you people again.
 * We're flying right over the Sunset Bridge. Something or someone has...taken...the city.
 * Too bad. You're better off that way. >:/
 * I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TYRE TO COME
 * I AM THE ONE WHO RULES OVER NACHER. I SHALL DESTROY AND HAGUE MANKRING. I AM... DA EMPURR!
 * I YAM. I YAM.
 * "What was that?"
 * GOLD MEN! Do you know what you're doing?
 * I'M FULLY AWARE OF WAHT I'M DOING - CAYN'T YEW SEE? MEN COMMITED A SIN, DISTURBING THE LAYFE CYCLE OF NAYTURE.
 * I've been way-ting for you, freeeeenz...
 * In time, a successer wull coylulm.
 * Suffer like G did?
 * DON'T COME. DON'T COME.
 * What's wrong... with this? City.
 * I don't wanna die. (Acted like "oh! the bus is late again!")
 * *DIES*
 * MY god.
 * Taken to intentional extremes in OVERKILL.
 * "NOBODY... THREATENS... VARLA!!!" *STAB STAB* The look on Papa Caesar's face is priceless.
 * "I CAN'T GO ON WITHOUT MY MOMMY!!!" It Makes Sense in Context.
 * "HAW HAW HAW. YOU IMPOTENT CRIPPLE." -half-assedly slaps Jasper with cane- This knocks Jasper's glasses off, and yet they're back on him after this shot.
 * "OOPS~!" ...I did it again!
 * DAWGZ OF THE AMS... TIME THEY MAYDE A MOVE.
 * Thank you, Goldman! (right after he's leapt off a building)
 * It's like they're inviting me IHHN!
 * I was never any good at gardening.
 * No, help me!
 * Curien's "Yooooou shaaaaaaaaall aaaaaaaalll DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" in the first game's intro.
 * We're meeting G over there.
 * "HUHR-ry-and-RUN to some-wear-SAFE!"
 * "My friends are inside. I told them not to go" in a mildly annoyed tone while said friends are being devoured by a giant snake zombie a few feet behind him.
 * The dramatic tension in the first boss battle of House of the Dead 2 could've been a lot more pronounced had the boss character not said its infamous line ("Suffer like G did?") in the form of a question... and had the boss character not been a squeaky-voiced bat-winged imp controlling a headless suit of Animated Armor.
 * This same boss, who is in the service of Goldman, also lets out a wail when he dies: "Sir Goooooooooooolllld!"
 * Granted, the first two House of the Dead arcade games were unintentionally hilarious due to the unbelievably bored delivery of the entire vocal cast. The second game's "survivors" are so nonchalant about being chased by the undead it boggles the mind.
 * This editor suspects that all of the House of the Dead games were in fact intentionally comical - the plots obviously make no sense and all the dialog consists of one Big No or other played-out trope after the other, mostly delivered in flat monotones or with inexplicable inflection. Of course, it was probably just an Excuse Plot in the first place, as all anyone wanted to do in the game was blast zombies anyway.
 * House of the Dead 2 crossed the line to just Flat-Out Funny when the final stage presented: Cyber Zombies that could walk through walls and had lightsabers. No, really.
 * "TO PROTECT THE LOYFE CYCLE!"
 * "DIS IS DA FINHAL BATTHOL"
 * "I AM. I AM. I AM THE ONE WHO RULES OVER NATURE. I SHALL DESTROY AND HATE MANKIND. I AM... DA EMPEROR!" (And on him dying: "I AM. I AM. [fwoop]")
 * And on hearing him say that, the player will likely say: IIIII YAM WHAT I YAM AND DAT'S ALL DAT I YAM...
 * He just said "destroy and hate mankind". So what, you're going to destroy mankind and then hate it because you destroyed it?
 * "IT'S TOO QUIET." Said an a mildly annoyed manner.
 * The Magician: "YOU HAVE NO FUTURE!"
 * It Gets Better in 2-Player mode: "THERE IS NO FUTURE FOR YOU PEOPLE!"
 * At the end, where Goldman dies: "IN TIME, A SUCCESSOR WILL COME." What kills this from being a foreshadowing (as if) is how he says "COME". He sounds like he either has the flu, is gargling, or he's a malfunctioning voice synthesizer.
 * Let's not forget "Don't come!", a dialogue in-joke which has appeared in at least a half-dozen Namco and Capcom games by this troper's count. It was even quoted in Resident Evil 4.
 * As for that, Time Crisis has the one example of "Don't Come!" that always makes this troper laugh. It just sounds so unbelievably crappy and forced.
 * When you face Tower, a five-headed hydra, your character reacts with "What?" The Narm lies in how he says it: He sounds like he's seeing anything but a multi-headed monster. He lets out another "What?" when the Magician breaks out of DBR headquarters to challenge him. This time, he sounds mildly annoyed instead of shocked that That One Boss has made his introduction.
 * If the main games weren't intentionally hilarious, Typing of the Dead and the unrelated Touch the Dead certainly were.
 * Sadly, HotD3 completely lacked Narm, to this troper, and even lampshaded some of the weirder moments (like an Implacable Man gigantic zombie security guard.)
 * As if to make up its lacking in 3 and 4, Overkill decided to overdo its Narm, by making G suffer with a Cluster F Bombs dropping detective.
 * HOTD 3 isn't exempt from this, most notably when Lisa and Rogan are reunited and she finds out what "believe in yourself" means.
 * "You've got to believe in yourself.......... Lisa."
 * At the end of the second game:


 * A call? From Goldman??
 * Remember, there's no such thing as a second chance.
 * For an actual gameplay-related example, it's kind of hard to take the fight against the Emperor in the second game seriously when his weakpoint is his crotch.


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