Casino Royale (2006 film)/Funny

"Vesper: So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money -- and off your perfectly-formed arse. Bond: You noticed? Vesper: Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb? Bond: Skewered. One sympathizes."
 * The end of the dueling Sherlock Scan scene.

""Who the hell do they think they are? I report to the Prime Minister and even he's smart enough not to ask me what we do. Have you ever seen such a bunch of self-righteous, ass-covering prigs? They don't care what we do; they care what we get photographed doing. And how the hell could Bond be so stupid? I give him double-O status and he celebrates by shooting up an embassy. Is the man deranged? And where the hell is he? In the old days if an agent did something that embarrassing he'd have a good sense to defect. Christ, I miss the Cold War!""
 * "Christ, I miss the Cold War!"
 * M's rant deserves to be quoted in its entirety:

"Vesper [on the verge of tears]: You know, James... if all that was left of you were your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever known. [dramatic pause; Bond leans in] Bond: That's because you know what I can do with my little finger."
 * (in hysterics) "Now the whole world is going to know that you died scratching my balls!!!"
 * "Utter one more syllable and I'll have you killed."
 * "I'm sorry. That last hand...nearly killed me."
 * I love how James manages to turn Vesper's deeply touched expression into a Moment of Funny, after he reveals the password to transfer the money.