History of the World, Part I/YMMV

"Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
 * Acceptable Targets: The Spanish Inquisition are on the mission to convert the Jews, who are constantly abused and tortured for laughs. (Bonus points for Torquemada who is played by a Jew.)
 * Nazis, though this shouldn't come as a surprise as a Mel Brooks movie.
 * Bowdlerization: AMC censorship ruins two of the film's best jokes.
 * Original joke:

Comicus: Stand-up philosopher.

Dole Office Clerk: What?

Comicus: Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension.

Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a *bullshit* artist!

Comicus: *Grumble*...

Dole Office Clerk: Did you bullshit last week?

Comicus: No.

Dole Office Clerk: Did you *try* to bullshit last week?

Comicus: Yes!"

"Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a *bull-
 * TV version:

Comicus: *Grumbles*...

Dole Office Clerk: Did you bull- last week?

Comicus: No.

Dole Office Clerk: Did you *try* to bull- last week?

Comicus: Yes!"

"Leader of Senate: All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?
 * Original joke:

Entire Senate: FUCK THE POOR!

Leader of Senate: Good."

"Leader of Senate: All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?
 * TV version:

Entire Senate: (raise arms and grumble to themselves)

Leader of Senate: Good."

"Roman Soldier: Moooove that miserable piece of SHIT!"
 * Arguably, Bowlderization actually makes one moment funnier:
 * Original version:

"Roman Soldier: Moooove that miserable piece of SHOOOIIIT!"
 * TV version:


 * Crowning Moment of Funny:
 * "I'm sorry Sir, I flunked flank." "Flunked flank? Get the flunk out of here!"
 * "It's DeMonet!"
 * "Hello Da Money, and don't correct me!"
 * "The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen..." * CRASH!* "Oy...Ten! Ten Commandments! For all to obey!"
 * "Could you please step on the same foot at the same time? My tits are falling off!"
 * Eunuch test, anyone?
 * "He's a eunuch." "HE'S a eunuch." "He's DEAD!"
 * Nobody mentioned the Last Supper yet? JESUS!
 * Yes?
 * What?
 * "One of you will betray me." "But who? WHO?" "Judas" "Aaahh!" "Can I get you something?"
 * "I hate it when someone gives away the ending."
 * When they pose for the painting.
 * "See 'Hitler on Ice'!"
 * Cesar's Palace
 * "Oh, a bullshit artist!"
 * Moses being mugged.
 * "Your majesty you look like the piss boy!" "And you look like a bucket of shit!"
 * In fact, most of the movie.
 * Crowning Music of Awesome: The Spanish Inquisition. One listen to the whole thing and it will be stuck in your head forever.
 * Hilarious in Hindsight: Inverted. The narrator contrasts 'the first homo sapien marriage' with 'the first homosexual marriage' back when the idea of same-sex marriage had barely occured to most people.
 * Ho Yay: DeMonet and Bearnaise.
 * Memetic Mutation: It's good to be the king!
 * Watch It for The Meme: Some people watched the movie just to see the Spanish Inquisition.