World Wrestling Entertainment/WMG

The Montreal Screwjob was one big, elaborate Worked Shoot.
The idea here is that WWE chairman Vince McMahon felt so guilty about having to let Bret Hart go just one year into his twenty-year contract (the contract has a one-year "escape clause" written in) to stave off bankruptcy that he decided to give him a grand send-off that would give him a tremendous amount of credit as a face for his coming run in WCW -- incidentally, setting the stage for his own Face Heel Turn, which would make him the defining villain of the coming era of the WWE as well.

The major reasoning is, there are about a million ways Vince could have gotten the belt off Bret other than lying to him about the finish of the match and then personally appearing at ringside and calling for the bell early. Indeed, even if he had decided to call for the bell early, he didn't have to appear personally at ringside - all referees wear radio earpieces. Thus, his presence served only to call attention to the fact that he was screwing Bret. As for why neither has revealed it after all this time, and why Bret still seems to hold a legitimate grudge - both Vince and Bret come from the old-school days of Kayfabe. If anybody can keep the lid on a Worked Shoot, they can.
 * It's conceivable that, over time, Bret did develop a legit grudge because of the WCW's colossal misuse of his character (that big face run Bret was supposed to get as a result of the screwjob never materialized), the death of his younger brother Owen during a WWF PPV (Bret famously said that he would never have let Owen perform the stunt that killed him had he been there) and the way that tragedy divided his family, and finally his career-ending concussion just two years into his WCW run. Bret may also still be bitter over Vince's having let him go in the first place, which led to all of these events.
 * The one hole in this logic is that if Bret DID develop a real grudge against Vince because of Owen's death, he would likely spill the beans and reveal that the Screwjob was indeed kayfabed.
 * To the old-school wrestling guys, kayfabe was as important as God or family and probably above country.
 * There's a column loaded with a ton of supporting evidence for it here.
 * In the final Raw of 2009, Vince almost swerved the audience by announcing that Bret had disrespected him at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony(refusing to shake his hand), and as such, would "NEVER" be a special guest host of Raw, but was then "persuaded" by Shawn Michaels into bringing Bret back as special guest host of the first Raw of 2010...

Matt Hardy was never fired, nor was there an affair for him to be upset over.
His "lack of employment" within WWE lasted exactly ninety days -- long enough for other organizations to think he had been fired, but not long enough for him to begin negotiations. All the noise about there being an affair originated from Matt himself -- either on his website (where people would be conned into thinking he was speaking about a real event) or on "Byte This", a WWE-owned show that encourages wrestlers to be themselves rather than their on-screen doppelgangers. Edge used the backlash against himself to morph into an on-screen persona that intentionally pushed the envelope, and he gained Lita as an ally on-screen after she did a Face Heel Turn. Plus, both men gained from it -- by the next year's Wrestlemania, Edge was facing the legendary Mick Foley, and Matt went from being off the show to being in a #1 contenders' match. To add the icing on the cake, Matt Hardy and Lita -- the woman he was supposedly ready to disown after the affair -- are on speaking terms and have been rumored to be an item again.
 * Matt gained nothing out of it, while Edge got a huge and sustained push and is now a permanent headliner, whereas Matt is....nowhere, languishing in midcard hell.

Mick Foley is God.
Mick Foley has not only survived things that would kill a mere mortal (watch the infamous Mankind / The Undertaker HIAC match for proof of that), but also, now that he's "retired" from wrestling, he seems to show up at seemingly-random intervals and act as a bit of a Deus Ex Machina to help resolve plotlines that have run themselves into dead ends. He wavers between Face and Heel seemingly at a whim, echoing God by working in mysterious ways. When he's got the long hair and beard in full bloom, there is a definite family resemblance between Foley and the popular images of Jesus (though Foley is a lot heavier). All this combined shows that all those fans who hold up "Foley is God" signs at WWE events aren't just giving out hyperbolic praise to a tough-yet-lovable wrestler; they're prophets who have discovered the truth. Note that this would mean that the ear that Foley famously lost in a match with Vader in Germany is a holy relic; one wonders whose hands it has fallen into and what they could do with it.
 * Alternatively, Mick could be a rare male, older version of Haruhi Suzumiya, showing up whenever he's bored to fix things in hopes of becoming less bored. Also, wasn't that lost ear reattached?
 * No, the cartilage was stored in a skin fold where his ear would be rebuilt later but, for various reasons (see his book), the reconstruction never happened.

John Morrison will one day reveal his father is Scott Levy, better known as Raven.
The evidence might be subtle, but it's there. Raven, once upon a time, was a playboy named Scotty Flamingo; Morrison was a playboy named Johnny Nitro. This could show that both made similar errors in character, thanks to genetics. Both frequently refer to a special place of their own (Raven the Bowery, Morrison the Palace of Wisdom), which may well be the same place. Both tend to ramble on with copious Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness. Both seem to collect followers and groups as they go. And they just plain LOOK alike.
 * More than slightly unlikely - Raven's date of birth is September 1964; Morrison's, October 1979. Raven would have been all of 14 at the time of conception - though some of the stories he tells could lend credence even to that.
 * Hey, if Vince McMahon was, as he said, spreading his seed at the age of 12, Raven doing the same at 14 is perfectly logical. Most likely, it was something like the Jack Nicholson situation. Maybe they were raised brothers?
 * While the age difference makes it unlikely (though not impossible) for them to be father and son, it doesn't put them being brothers, cousins, or uncle and nephew out of the question.
 * Hmmm... Tommy Dreamer did steal Beulah from Raven at summer camp... and 14 is just the right age for a camp counselor or the like... perhaps Raven left Beulah with a parting gift that happened to later be named John?

Devon Dudley is awakened
Isn't it amazing how there always just happened to be a folding table under the ring whenever the Dudleys needed one? Devon was using Correspondence to grab a table they stashed back in the locker room! This also explained why Devon was always the one told to "get the tables"; Bubba is not awakened.

John McCain bought his bus from Lex Luger
The Straight Talk Express is the Lex Express with a new coat of paint.

Edge planned on Matt Hardy betraying Jeff Hardy
Edge was upset about losing the WWE title, as expected, but this time he was driven to such levels of assholery... He was behind Jeff's hit and run accident and the pyrotechnic failure, but he understands that people would automatically blame him for such "accidents" befalling the current champion. So he gets Matt to sabotage the match at the Royal Rumble, using the younger Hardy's well-being (and perhaps also Matt's job, considering Edge is married to Smackdown's GM) as collateral. The older brother is now deemed responsible for the attacks, and Edge is champion again.

There is a concentrated effort underway to drive Rey Mysterio, Jr. to snap
First of all, Rey has always been the underdog good guy. Sure, he dabbled in a little bit of misbehavior way back in his WCW days, but about the worst he ever did was make fun of someone whom he later made his best friend. Otherwise, for almost his entire career, he's been a Pollyanna. His main motivation seems to be to do his best, please the fans, and maybe incidentally win a title here and there. Lately, however, there's been a line of horrific, traumatic incidents raining on him one after another...his family and friends turn on him almost as often as Sting's; he's frequently being injured or assaulted or kidnapped or something by some great big bad guy; and as soon as he manages to claw his way free of one, another immediately goes after him. Consider that Mike Knox flat admitted he has no problem with Rey but still keeps stalking him; it seriously implies that SOMEONE is using all these people and making an effort to make him crazy...maybe because this Genre Savvy person knows you should Beware the Nice Ones?
 * But why would this hypothetical person care if Mysterio snapped?

Leonard F. Chikarason is Vin Gerard's father
A Chikara WMG: All the promos from Vin Gerard just scream "Daddy doesn't love me!" He's just going for the whole 'bad attention is better than no attention'.

Vince McMahon is Ash's father
That whole bastard son angle did prove that Vince really got around (as did Ash's unknown dad, according to the Pokemon WMG page). Sure, the lawsuit and everything that followed was simply a prank thought up by the rest of the McMahons, but the possibility of a illegitimate child hasn't been completely jossed.

The entire wrestling industry is purgatory
And any wrestler is capable of becoming some sorta Jesus
 * Shawn Michaels was certainly trying to play off of The Undertaker's dark persona with a Jesus-like gimmick in the lead-up to Wrestlemania 25; going as far as wearing an all white get-up and quoting scripture. After his defeat, a second coming can't be too far off.

The "child" of Mae Young and Mark Henry was an actual sentient being.
After spending some time as Master Hand and receiving quite a bit of cash from it, it got a new job as the fist in the post-Invasion Smack Down set. The retirement of the set mirrors the retirement of the hand, though it still makes appearances in the new SSB games.

Jack Swagger will get a new Gimmick and win a mid-card title
So he will be the All American American United States Champion.

...IN AMERICA!


 * More like All American American American American American World Heavyweight Champion.

The Money In the Bank match winner at Wrestlemania 2010 will walk out of Wrestlemania as the Champion

 * It is well known that the winner of the MITB cashes in the shot when it's least convenient for the champ, so here's what's gonna go down. First, Randy Orton will be named in the MITB match. Then, at Wrestlemania, either he or Christian will win. then, depending on who wins, Orton will jump Cena and take the belt, or Christian will jump Edge.
 * Close. Try the Smackdown after Wrestlemania. One could even make a WMG that the cash in was supposed to happen at Wrestlemania following the Spear through the timekeeper's area, but got clipped at the last minute due to the Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon match running long.

Samoa Joe planned his own abduction.
Samoa Joe, in an attempt to get away from the lousy booking of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, hired Edge's Slim Jim Ninjas to abduct him in a panel van on live television, knowing that it wouldn't at all seem odd on TNA iMPACT! It was a perfect plan.

John Cena is trying to force the writers to turn him heel.
He's already expressed wanting to turn heel back in 2006, but the writers/Powers That Be wouldn't let it happen. And thus he had to continue his face run in his current gimmick. So he's trying to downplay himself as subtle as possible to make his opposition look better. Whether if he's resorting to poop jokes or making himself look as less bad ass as possible, if the crowd refuse to cheer for him no matter what he (or his opponent for that matter) does, maybe he could turn (back) heel and do something different for the character. The problem? Women and children continue to eat it up. Now, the writers decided to embrace the idea, making him as kid-friendly as possible (Including the FU becoming the Attitude Adjustment), and now his latest apparel is orange (like a certain television network). Cena posing with his haters after winning at Wrestlemania is the closest thing he could get to doing actual heel work in his current gimmick. For all of his efforts to force a Face Heel Turn, Cena's attempts have backfired miserably

Hulk Hogan is working for Vince McMahon in a plot to destroy TNA.
Hulk, despite his various issues, is not a complete and total moron. And despite how much the 'E tries to ignore their "competition", they do realize there is some threat to be had in TNA, and some good wrestlers, so, use a double-agent to destroy the company, and then buy for pennies on the dollar like WCW. This is not a good WMW, as much as I would like to see the talent in TNA get the treatment they deserve.

Kane is the one who put The Undertaker in a coma recently.
This is a current and ongoing storyline, we'll see if this WMG turns out to be the case. To summarize what I'm talking about, recently Undertaker was supposedly found in a comatose and unresponsive state, and Kane has been on the warpath, chokeslamming every suspect. Perhaps he's motivated by some twisted guilt, not wanting to believe that he did it himself.
 * I Knew It!.
 * This is indeed what happened, after a thirteen year long gambit.

Rey Mysterio, Jr. is the one who put The Undertaker in a coma...
...but it was still Kane's doing. Combining the above WMGs about someone trying to drive Rey crazy and Kane putting Undertaker into a coma: Kane has been torturing Rey physically and mentally for at least a couple of years, though he's been smart enough to not do all the work himself or else someone else would get suspicious. We've seen Rey in matches twice this year with Undertaker and he managed to bloody the big Taker both times. Kane might be insane, but he's not stupid, and so he managed to get Rey into a position that when he finally snapped, it was on Undertaker. Kane will eventually reveal the truth to everyone to shatter Rey once and for all.

What exactly Kane hoped to achieve with this, who knows, but he's insane, and he has admitted that he just takes pleasure in torturing and hurting people for the hell of it.

Raw's mystery General Manager was:

 * Still Bret "The Hitman" Hart, who is laughing his head off at the fans.
 * Shawn Michaels, who has found that retirement can be boring.
 * Bill Goldberg. (See above.)
 * Ric Flair. (Also see above.)
 * Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. (Someone had to say it.)
 * Sgt. Slaughter.
 * Bret? Nah, that'd be a little to clever for the E's writers. Shawn? Not enough time has passed for the fans to really miss him. Goldberg? He ain't broke yet, and since he's in it for the money, I wouldn't expect much, er, Ric Flair is working for TNA so I really, really doubt it's him, Sgt. Slaughter? Non of the young fans know who he is, so why bring him in? The Rock would explain a lot, actually, since he is talking about coming back eventually, now would be a great time to do so.
 * Booker T, back to eventually restore himself as King Booker in WWE. The Nexus may or may be secretly working for him as his knights.
 * Michael Cole. He's pretending to be the messenger receiving emails, but is really the one making the decisions.
 * A sentient computer, which may or may not be capable of feeling pain.
 * Stone Cold Steve Austin. Just because.
 * The Swagger Soaring Eagle. The real reason why he traded Edge over to Smackdown was because he wanted to directly confront Edge for Spearing him during the Syfy debut.
 * You do realize that the man in the costume was  So, no.
 * TRIPLE. H.
 * John Cena. It's all been one Wounded Gazelle Gambit after the next.
 * Paul Heyman. Haven't you noticed that so many of the GM's decisions have favored The Nexus? This is obviously ECW's revenge.

The release of Bryan Danielson is a Worked Shoot.
He's got enough friends in the business, (CM Punk, notably) and fame that being fired over something so stupid is...stupid. My guess? They don't want a potential talent being dragged down by...the differently talented Nexus, (Sorry, but they are not good wrestlers, and they don't get real matches, and Bryan isn't exactly a brawler.) so remove a future main-eventer from a doomed storyline (I really, really doubt they're going to keep all the nexus around, maybe a Loser Leaves Town match for the stable?) that would give him some heel heat that he isn't going to get anyway, in 90 days he'll return, maybe helping John Cena destroy the Nexus and starting his singles career after that, possibly with a feud with Cena after their Enemy Mine to defeat the danger of Nexus.
 * This seems to have panned out; whether or not it was worked or not is debatable, if it was real there was the wink and the nod of WWE telling Danielson "Look, we're scapegoating you, we want you back as soon as all this blows over". In any case, he's back, and he's teamed with Cena against Nexus. Whether it's an enemy mine situation or not is yet to be seen.

John Cena is secretly working with Nexus
He has more than enough reason to have enough resentment towards the WWE to want to wreck the system. That reason? They manipulated him into changing from who he was to what they wanted him to be. WWE knew that Cena would become a star so they did their best to mold him into what their ideal face champion should be: A Hogan-esque Invincible Hero who was a shirt-rip and Vitamins-eating and Prayer-saying away from becoming a glorified Expy who convinced him that the fans would love his new character. Needless to say, it backfired. Though he may've eventually gotten back on the fans good graces (For the most part). Worse, when Randy Orton went under a Heel Face Turn, he stayed the same as he was (with the fans loving him for it, much to his anger (He had to change after his Heel Face Turn, Orton didn't). Pissed and feeling betrayed by the WWE, Cena made a secret alliance with Nexus, seeing that they used them as badly as they did him. Why was Cena beaten down brutally when Nexus first appeared? Why was Cena the most focused on fighting them? Why was Cena the one to assemble a team to defeat them? To throw off suspicion of his involvement. Summerslam seemed to be a good time to show his True Colors, but 1) It wouldn't exactly leave the impact he intended, and 2) It would be too obvious. With Night Of Champions on the horizon, the Nexus title ban lifted, and both Wade Barrett and Cena in the Six-Pack challenge match for the WWE Championship, this could be the opportunity Cena was looking for. With Orton also a part of the match, it brings the possibility of this ending: Cena hits Orton with a padlock chain, allowing Barrett to score the pin and bringing the WWE Title to Nexus, delivering the ultimate F-U to the WWE by handing the main title to the renegade group on a silver platter while getting revenge on the guy who he believe to be the WWE's personal favorite.
 * Now that Cena is actually a part of The Nexus, he'll be able to ease his way into his plan and has an excuse to allow himself to start slipping. He'll find himself outmaneuvered by Orton, something that'll more than dent Cena's competitive spirit. Eventually, he'll become Nexus' new dragon, and before long, when it's apparent he's really the Dragon-in-Chief he'll decide that Evil Feels Good, and his heel turn will come while he siezes control of The Nexus, with Barrett and Gabriel as his dragons. Magnificent Bastard Heel!Cena will regain the title by the end of the year, and will defend it at Wrestlemania against Orton in the Wrestlemania main event promised to us when both Cena and Orton began their respective ascents as the future of the company 6-7 years ago.

The 3rd season of NXT is WWE's attempt at a Springtime for Hitler plot.
By having a show consisting entirely of potential Diva's, it doesn't appear that there will be any sort of serious interest in the season. Which WWE may want so it can get the show kicked off Syfy for poor ratings.

There is a Vampire Apocalypse just waiting to rampage through the wrestling world.
This one takes a little explaining, but the page is called wild mass guessing after all. Back in the late 90's, there was Gangrel and the Brood, Edge and Christian. Eventually, the brothers got rid of him, and he brought in the Hardys. Supposedly they were all some sort of vampires while they were with him, altough that aspect of their characters faded in time. However, there's no reason to assume they were ever cured of their vampirism. It seems to have gone into a kind of sleeper state at least, but there's a powerful chance that they still carry the trait. Our Vampires Are Different to an extreme, yes, but it could be a possibility. Or they could even be actively hiding it themselves. At any rate, they could very well still be sleeper vampires. Now consider their reach. Since then, Jeff and Christian have been to TNA. Matt and Jeff have gone through ROH, and of course all four of them have been bouncing all over all the WWE brands: Raw, Smackdown, ECW, and NXT. What is all adds up to is that through Gangrel, and through Matt, Jeff, Edge, and Christian, every current major wrestling organization could be completely infested with some sort of sleeper vampires. And considering how many wrestlers have come and gone from these organizations and gone all around the world to work, all it will take is Gangrel dropping whatever his activation code is to suddenly awake potentially thousands of vampires, all of them trained wrestlers with exceptional thresholds for pain and abuse already.

NXT is a plot to introduce indie stars into the greater public.
Perhaps a plot to please the Smarks or maybe because Vince realizes he needs to hit a new market, but NXT is pretty much tailor made for person to win by having a bunch of...differently talented wrestlers and one really good one, but they want to have an opportunity to integrate them slowly and give them some introduction.

Chris Jericho is going to save us.
Y 2 J is making a comeback, he's been heel for a while now, and a change might be good for his character, and since he's in full on Villainous Breakdown now, he has a reason to turn, plus, there's a bevy of new fans that never experienced Face!Jericho.

Darren Young is going to pull a Jay Lethal on John Cena.
Going back to Cena's Doctor of Thuganomics gimmick, the WWE will compromise with the fans who want wigger Cena back, keeping Cena as the "Superman" he is and give us "Black Invisibility" Darren Young! Eventually, the two will clash at Wrestlemania where they will both Won't Work On Me everything from punches to air-to-ground missiles, demolishing the arena in the process.

Raw's GM (or Vince, if it's not him) will set up a Winner Controls Nexus match between Wade Barret and John Cena at an upcoming pay-per-view.
If Cena wins this one, he'll be able to go ahead with his original plan without the threat of being forced to leave the WWE.
 * Given the angle they seem to be taking (Cena as the reclutant bad guy, Barrett as the bad boss) this seems HIGHLY likely. Bragging Rights, Cena has to help Barrett win the title from Orton, he does only for Barrett to keep treating him like crap. David Otunga and Cena start talking and decide they want to run things. Cena and Barrett are put in a winner controls Nexus match which David Otunga helps Cena win. Cena snaps when somebody tries to stop him and Nexus (as well as the guys from nXt season 2) becomes even more dangerous. They eventually get beaten by Trips, HBK and a revived DX.

CM Punk will win the WWE Championship at Money In The Bank
Only for the winner of the Raw Money In The Bank Ladder Match to run out and cash in on Punk and become the new champion.

Michael McGillicutty is the grandson of Lucy Ricardo
Michael's said that he took his ring name from his mother's maiden name, and it just happens to be the same as Mrs. Ricardo's maiden name. Now, obviously, Michael's far too young to be Lucy's son, but it's entirely possible she had a daughter out of wedlock before meeting Ricky. Said daughter would later meet Curt Hennig, and the rest is history.

Wade Barrett will win the WWE Championship at Survivor Series...
...only for The Miz to cash in the Money in the Bank Contract after John Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on him.
 * Well... close!

The NXT Divas will have their own "NXT Riot" at the Diva Battle Royal match at the 2010 Slammys edition of Raw.
What was the reason why The Nexus came to be in the first place? How badily they were treated. Considering how their season of NXT was treated (They themselves weren't treated much better), it wouldn't be much of a surprise to see something similar happen. And on the night of the Slammys, where (nearly) all the Divas would be involved. When it came down to the final two, Kaitlyn will lead the rest of the NXT Diva to deliver a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown (Not to the extent of their Spear Counterparts. The other Divas may or may not come out to help. One of their victims, however, will be Michael Cole.

The Miz and John Morrison are expys of Triple H and Shawn Michaels
You have a guy that first found success with a tag team that separates because of the other members drug problems, and uses a kick and high flying based offense, later, you team with a funny brawler that got his first push as a Take That (Triple H to Vince's new neighbors and The Miz to John Cena haters) and is an Ascended Fanboy, they form a highly successful tag-team that people love, even though they're heels, later they break up and one of them becomes a face, and the other stays a heel and gets the world title.
 * Considering the success of HHH and Shawn, that wouldn't be a bad thing at all. A major plus in their favor would be that both of them are homegrown by the WWE so they're that much more likely to stick around/more likely for the WWE to want keep the homegrown talent around versus letting them walk to another promotion.

The Nexus Is ECW Reincarnate Seeking Revenge On WWE for Killing It
ECW's legacy was officially killed when Vince McMahon cancelled WWECW in favor of making NXT. so then the angry souls of the dead ECW plotted their revenge, they sent several of their former talent (The Miz, William Regal, CM Punk, Christian, Matt Hardy, and Chris Jericho). It would have been cool if all eight were former ECW members but six out of eight is good enough) to the new show NXT to train the people who would bring about WWE's downfall. And of course ECW would not accept any of these rookies to be the leader of nexus besides the one rookie whose pro had been in the original ECW: Chris Jericho. And now that the nexus has been split between the new nexus and the corre, they are now taking this mission across both shows, and the final ECW champion Ezekiel Jackson is part of it now.

Justin Bieber will make an appearance at Wrestlemania XXVII

 * That way, the contents of the following video can occur:
 * http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F Gpr-cHCyvA

Michael Cole will be revealed as the anonymous Raw GM at Wrestlemania XXVII

 * He'll become WWE's Big Bad from then on, similar to the role Vince McMahon played during the Attitude Era.

Shawn Michaels put The Undertaker in the coma

 * Guess he hadn't gotten over that loss?

The Undertaker made a Deal with the Devil to gain his powers
Mark Callaway, whilst struggling on the independent circuit, made a pact with Satan to be the most powerful being in the WWE, wielding the powers of hell to aid him in his career, but he could only hold on to the power so long as he remained undefeated at Wrestlemania. (Quote from Triple H: When the streak dies, you die!) If WWE were to use this in their booking, it would make The Undertaker's highly protected character ruse easy to let go of, once he retires. He should lose at Wrestlemania, lose his powers, and thus give his retirement speech as a now mortal man that is Mark Callaway, and not The Undertaker.

My WMG for the 2011 Mit B. Christian finally wins the championship from Orton, only to have Sheamus cash in his contract from that same night. Cue Christian's further descent into Tween/Heel/Anti-Hero-ism, as his conspiracy theory that someone is out to screw him out of the title gains more credence(First he gets the title for just five nights, after seventeen long years, then he doesn't even get to hold it for one). Most likely, Orton/Sheamus/Christian three-way at the next PPV.

Shawn Michaels will be announced as the next GM of Raw.
The Anonymous GM of Raw has not sent any emails in the past couple of weeks (as of 8/2/11), so it's very possible that Triple H is ready to appoint a new GM, or at least unmask the anonymous one. Triple H also just fired Vince from his position, so what better way to add insult to injury by having D Generation X literally rule the WWE, with Trips as the COO and Shawn managing the flagship show?

Note this does not imply that Shawn was ever the Anonymous GM of Raw, just that he is the person that Triple H has chosen for the position.

In the 2011 Slammy Awards (If there is one), "What The Hale!?" will be among the categories.
We've already had a category named after an announcer's catchphrase two years in a row. And seeing as Michael Cole no longer has any more lines to (for lack of a better term)"trademark," Booker T will have to take the reins.
 * If you want to keep it within Cole's territory, either he or The Miz will win a Slammy for the most "Must-See" moment of the year, and Cole will present the award either way. Cole's been using that title for Miz often enough.

Sin Cara will develop a rivalry with Rey Mysterio, Jr., culminating in a fight with their masks on the line.
Because both are Lucha Libre style wrestlers, and doing something like this would be dramatic.

Eve Torres is Stephanie McMahon's Author Avatar.
The two look a little alike and are practically the same size. This also could explain how Eve gets pushed as the top Diva sometimes despite lacking experience (unlike Beth Phoenix or Natalya) or charisma (unlike Kelly Kelly).

Teddy Long favours tag team matches to give Smackdown an advantage at Bragging rights.
Teddy is training his roster to get better at working as a team so that in the 7 on 7 matches, his roster can work as an effective unit whereas RAW's egos would clash more. It's worked every time so far.

Who is itbegins2012?.
If you look closely enough at the November 21st, 2011 RAW, you will find a url for a youtube page. Go to it, and you will find a video saying on January 2nd 2012, someone will be making a return to the WWE. As of right now, the one video and the age (43) are the only clues we have. Who could be returning? Here are my 3 guesses.
 * 1. Chris Jericho. He is no stranger to cryptic messages and build-up (Remember the Countdown to the Millenium and the Second Coming?) and a lot of people have been missing him. However, it seems unlikly due to him already having a job.
 * 2. The Undertaker. He is also no stranger to cryptic messages (2 21 11). He hasn't really been seen in action since Wrestlemania. However, it really is expected that he'll come back for Wrestlemania, so it wouldn't be a suprise.
 * 3. Brock Lesnar. This is the one I'm hoping for. First off, Lesnar is appearing in the new WWE game, almost for no reason. Probably for people to remember he exists so he can make his comeback? Also, remember his confrontation with the Undertaker at UFC 116? Maybe we can actually see that happen.

CM Punk's current behavior is a Stealth Parody mockery of adult WWE fans and their tastes
Punk's initial groundbreaking promo was not just an attack on WWE's product, but also on the fans for tolerating it and being too lazy to make real change in their lives. Ever since then however, Punk has been curiously silent on the fans themselves, directing all his attacks on Cena, HHH, Vince McMahon, and John Laurinatis. He's even gone as far as rallying them for his causes regarding WWE Ice Cream Bars, and such.

In truth Punk still despises the sheep like nature of the fans, and their blind support of anything remotely popular or cool (Ryder, insider references, pop culture zingers). Instead of outright addressing it, he chose to publicly embrace it, both to gain personal profit for himself via t-shirts, ice cream bars, etc and to covertly insult the older WWE fans who lap up everything he says, just as young fans do with John Cena. When he makes an eventual Heel Face Turn Punk will go into detail about how easily he used them, and mock their blind acceptance to anyone who even slightly panders to them.

One need only look at the lyrics to Punk's current theme song to know the real truth:

I exploit you, still you love me

I tell you, one and one makes three

You gave me fortune, you gave me fame

You gave me power in your God's name

I'm every person you need to be

I'm the Cult of Personality

Kane is attacking John Cena because of Cena's "Rise Above Hate" shirt...
Seems kinda crazy, but let's consider Kane kicking Cena's ass then leaving with the aforementioned shirt. Who's to say that Kane continually beating on Cena isn't just his way of saying that he hates the message of Cena's shirt?
 * Well, close... He wants Cena to give in to the hate, (and thus turn Heel), instead of rising above it.

Glacier is the long-lost Brother of Destruction
Undertaker and Kane, the Brothers of Destruction, are often spoken of as opposites, but while Kane is identified with fire, Taker is identified with both death and lightning. One would think that Kane's opposite number would identify with ice... and what wrestler shares Taker and Kane's flair for dramatic entrances, only with an ice and snow motif? Glacier, of course! Too bad Ted Turner gave him more money than Vince McMahon would have and then threw him up against an Undertaker knock-off in Mortis; we could have seen all three Brothers of Destruction as a force to be reckoned with.
 * If Glacier is a Brother of Destruction, then what about WCW's other Mortal Kombat rip-offs Wrath and Mortis who, thanks to a bizarre crossover between Nitro and Conquest, are now part of the Mortal Kombat universe?
 * Undertaker, Kane, Glacier, Mortis, and Wrath are all originally from Outworld.

Paul Bearer killed Undertaker and Kane's parents
So, Paul Bearer claims that, as a child, Undertaker set the family home on fire and killed his parents. Taker says, Nuh-uh, my brother Kane did it, but I know it was an accident and I forgive him. So Bearer brings in Kane, who believes Taker did it on purpose and is looking for revenge, and was thought also dead in the fire. They fight a few times; then Bearer turns on Kane and sides with Taker, and all of a sudden Taker's going around talking about how yes, he did kill their parents, and he did it on purpose, and Kane sucks, and ha ha ha. And then, some months later, they're bestest buddies and tag-teaming together as if nothing happened. So what's going on? Simple: Paul Bearer was the killer of Taker and Kane's parents all along and used some kind of mind control to force Taker to admit it. This was all part of a colossal Xanatos Gambit to turn Kane into his own personal engine of destruction. Undertaker and Kane discovered the truth at some point and reconciled -- and then they later put their plan for revenge into motion some years later, when Undertaker returned to his "Deadman" character with Paul once again by his side. They conspired with Paul Heyman to have the Concrete Crypt Match at Great American Bash 2004 specifically to put Paul Bearer into a position where they could kill him without his being able to escape -- hence Taker pulling the lever and burying Paul in concrete when he could have rescued him. Paul survived (as reported on WWE.com), but he learned a valuable lesson -- don't fuck with the Brothers of Destruction.

The Undertaker has not been portrayed by Mark Callaway for years.
Rumors about characters being replaced by different wrestlers fly about more than it actually happens. One truly bizarre conspiracy theory from around 1997, complete with its own website, purports that Mark Callaway left the then-WWF over some contrived but spiteful reason; as such, The Undertaker has since been his lookalike cousin, Ed. The website, lost even to the annals of archive.org, talked about things like how 'Taker's wife at the time didn't exist and was simply a fabrication leaked into the circles of fans on the Internet who know what Kayfabe is to create a "legit" existence for Ed that was really a worked shoot.

The Undertaker and Kane are reincarnations of the original Cain and Abel.
When Abel was killed, he became the Grim Reaper and Spirit of Death. In addition to his day job, he and Cain appear in instances where sibling rivalry is prominent at an extreme level, continuing their eternal feud of jealousy and revenge. Glen Jacob Callaway was jealous that his brother Mark got more love from his mother because their mother felt jealous over the affair with Paul Bearer. The two ended up fighting and inadvertently started a fire, which consumed the house and killed their parents. It was then that the spirits of Cain and Abel entered Glen and Mark respectively; they continued their feud, this time inside a wrestling ring.
 * This theory fits nicely with the Serpent Seed theory, which states that Cain was the child of Eve and Samael, also known as the Devil, while Abel was the son of Adam and Eve. Hence, Undertaker is Abel, Kane is Cain, and Paul Bearer is Satan himself.

The Gatecrashers put The Undertaker in a coma
Come on! They were told to make an impact.
 * Jossed! It was Kane!

The Undertaker has retired.

 * At 2010 Bragging Rights, when Kane buried The Undertaker alive, it was Undertaker's final send-off. Mark Callaway is truly now retired with The Dead Man actually staying dead. It was the best way for him to go out.
 * With his actual 20th anniversary coming up with this years Survivor Series (he debuted at Survivor Series 1990), it is possible he might make a return there with a new gimmick of some kind, or even a complete return to his original gimmick.
 * Wait, I thought he was going to retire after Wrestlemania XXVIII once the streak was 20-0.
 * Taker's career has been uncertain for years. He's been in such rough shape that people have been speculating on his retirement with a fair amount of seriousness since at least 05. A lot of people honestly thought that Mania 27 would end up being his last match(not a bad match to go out on, though 19-0 leaves that sting of disappointment). As it stands, while most people are speculating for Taker vs HHH 3, no one's 100% on what's going to happen. Personally I'm hoping for Taker vs Jericho or Punk at Mania, myself. That would be a good cap off to the career.

The Undertaker will return at the Royal Rumble and will win it.
And he'll choose to face Wade Barrett at Wrestlemania.
 * This will require Barrett to be champion come wrestlemania time, and he's no where near either title right now. Taker winning the Rumble...hell, Taker competing in the Rumble this year is a terrible idea. He doesn't need it. WWE doesn't need it.
 * Jossed. Undertaker returned the night after the Royal Rumble and appears like he'll be having a rematch with Triple H at WM28.

Chris Jericho will break his silence shortly after the Royal Rumble, and begin his feud with CM Punk.

 * After weeks of jaunting around and literally doing nothing other than over-playing to the crowd, we'll get Jericho spelling out what he plans to do by going after Punk for supposedly stealing his "Best in The World" moniker, possibly to set up a match between the two at ''Wrestlemania XXVIII".
 * Jossed, Jericho broke his silence just before the rumble with "The Royal Rumble will be the end of the world...as you know it" or some such, disappointing everyone by not finishing with "And I feel fine", but we'll forgive him that. Jericho is one of the favorites for a Rumble win and possible Punk feud, but there are a lot of people hoping against the former. Then there's some hope for a Taker feud. The point being, no one knows what the WWE is doing right now.
 * The next night, Jericho (who was runner-up in the Royal Rumble) attacked Punk. Are we on the Road now?

Teddy Long's new job is:

 * David Otunga's personal ring announcer.
 * John Laurenitus' gofer.
 * Perhaps, given his past as a referee, he'll be forced to officiate all of Sheamus's matches. (It may not make sense, but have a look at the conclusion of last week's Smack Down, where Sheamus attacked a referee who had disqualified him in a match, as well as Laurinaitis promising some sort of punishment as a result.)

Lesnar will face Cena in the Wrestlemania 29
The main reason why Lesnar returned is that he might face Cena (Or someone else) in the next wrestlemania, just like The Rock returned last year. The Rock and Lesnar have became semi-celebrities after they left WWE. The Rock has became actor, and Brock Lesnar is in UFC. So, why not getting old boys back to the company just for Wrestlemania?
 * My guess: Yes, Cena will face Lesnar at Extreme Rules on 4/29, but we'll probably see Lesnar beat Cena up to a point where he's injured for the rest of the year, while Brock runs rampant and goes on a monster run in Cena's absence. We'll likely then see Cena make his return from injury at the 2013 Royal Rumble en route to winning it and earning a shot at Brock's WWE Title at Wrestlemania 29.