Full Metal Jousting (TV series)



A History Channel Reality Show where 16 guys joust each other. Full contact, armor, horses, lances: the whole deal. Brutal drama in the jousting arena leaves the series mostly free of typical reality show backbiting.

Two teams, the Red and the Black, are pitted against each other once a week in an elimination round. The sole winner will gain a $100,000 prize.


 * Berserk Button: When Josh is on the verge of losing a match, his coach tells him "You're stealing a hundred thousand dollars from your daughter." Cue a Roaring Rampage of Revenge.
 * Body Horror: Some of the injuries obtained can invoke this.
 * Bullet Time: Used often to review a joust. Special mention for it capturing the horses ducking or tracking a lance.
 * Cool Horse: All of them, but special mention goes to Praetorian, Superman, Navarro, and Crispin for being either extremely badass or extremely reliable.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Any time a double unhorsing takes place.
 * Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Some of the guys gain nicknames based on their performances, like The Wolfman, The Hammer.
 * Golden Snitch: A person can win at any time if their opponent is unable to return to their horse within two minutes (not counting time given for medical checks). This includes the very last pass of a joust. Thus all jousts are done to full completion even if a person can't numerically win since the extremely violent and injury prone nature of the sport means that as long as you can unhorse your opponent, you could still win.
 * Horsing Around: Happens a lot.
 * Kick the Dog: Landon gets kicked off the show for punching a horse in the face when it steps on his foot. Considering the show has been pretty much universally praised for its treatment of horses otherwise, most of the trainers and other competitors considered it a Moral Event Horizon.
 * Lock and Load Montage: Putting these guys in their competition armor. Some parts seem to require the use of an impact wrench.
 * Loyal Animal Companion: Invoked as necessary by the host and jousters. One jouster is even saved from falling off by his horse. Conversely, a lack of confidence on the part of the rider can lead to a balk or misbehavior.
 * No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Can happen at any time during any pass. As the host points out, jousting has no defense, so even a lucky, random strike can devestate an experienced jouster.
 * Once an Episode: The point system is reviewed. 1 point for a touch, 5 points for a broken lance, and 10 points for an unhorsing.
 * One of Us: Despite the extreme Testosterone Poisoning taking place, some of the coaches and jousters make mention of D&D. And not just the medieval aspect but the game mechanics themselves. For instance, one coach says to roll the dice and remember that the GM is on your side. And after a double unhorsing, a jouster mentions they both rolled the dice and both scored critical hits.
 * Pet the Dog: It's hilarious to see roaring, grunting men talk smack, then turn around and gently pat their horses.
 * Pint-Sized Powerhouse: James, who is the smallest guy, but whose riding ability gives him accuracy and power.
 * Testosterone Poisoning: Like you wouldn't believe. Jousting makes rugby look tame.