Basic Instructions



A cut-and-paste web-comic by Scott Meyer, which offers, well, basic instructions on modern living. And how to deal with moon invaders. Features cartoon/traced versions of Meyer, his wife, his boss, his friends and co-workers, random annoying strangers, moon invaders...

Falls somewhere between being a Slice of Life and Life Embellished comic. Strips appear frequently on Cracked.

Contains (mostly one-shot) examples of the following:
"Scott: Poor Jenkins. Everyone he talks to is always angry.
 * Abstract Scale: A ruler that measures disapproval
 * Author Avatar
 * Badass Normal: Rocket Hat. Played with with The Knifeketeer: he's effective, but nowhere near badass.
 * Blessed With Suck: Omnipresent Man. He's everywhere. EVERYWHERE ELSE.
 * Butt Monkey: Almost bordering on Cosmic Plaything, the universe seems to have it in for Rick. Noteworthy example in this comic.
 * The Chew Toy: Again, Rick. Explained in this comic.
 * Clothes Make the Superman: Rocket Hat.
 * Comically Missing the Point
 * Conservation of Competence: At the one end you have Mullet Boss. At the other, Rocket Hat. Which end is which? Rocket Hat can beat the Moon Men handily, frequently, single-handedly, and silently (strangely). Mullet Boss... can kick a dog in its junk.
 * Delicious Fruit Pies: Scott once suggested that superhero movie stingers could end with hero stopping the villain from stealing Hostess Fruit Pies.
 * Description Cut: Pretty much every panel of every strip, with the "instruction" text clashing with the depiction of events.
 * Did I Just Say That Out Loud
 * Dissimile
 * Doesn't Like Guns: Parodied with the Knifeketeer- his sole power is stabbing, which has actually left all his nemeses dead. Rather than being praised, he is a laughing stock due to his lack of worthy foes. Well, that and his boxing glove knifes.
 * Embarrassing Middle Name: Scott Oscar Meyer.
 * Enemy Mine: How to Unite Against a Common Foe
 * Everyone Is Jesus in Purgatory: Discussed in-universe.
 * Everything Trying to Kill You: Parodied.
 * Evil Twin
 * Faux to Guide: The advice is generally good, but the characters don't quite follow through...
 * Fleeting Demographic Rule: It only took three years to accidentally remake this comic.
 * Flipping the Bird
 * Goldfish Poop Gang: The Moon Men. THE DETAILS ARE UNIMPORTANT!
 * Good Angel Bad Angel
 * A Good Name for A Rock Band: How To Name Your Band.
 * Good Is Not Nice / Affably Evil: That's why I suggest doing the right thing in the most evil manner possible.
 * Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: "How to X"
 * I'm Standing Right Here: Said twice by Rick. Not that anyone cared.
 * Invincible Hero: Rocket Hat.
 * Jerkass: Jenkins.

Smitty: That's Jenkins' curse. He only deals with people who are, at that moment, dealing with Jenkins."

"Scott: You shouldn't write a book for the title.
 * It Sucks to Be The Chosen One: Word for word.
 * Just Between You and Me
 * Martial Arts and Crafts: "Macramayhem, master of the martial crafts!"
 * Metaphorgotten: "There comes a time in every father's life when he has to fire one of his kids."
 * Money Dear Boy: In Universe example in how to give constructive criticism:

Mullet Boss: I'm not. I'm writing it for the money.

Scott: Oh. That's okay then."

"Scott: I got sucked into a vortex this morning.
 * This probably means there's another Basic Instructions book coming out soon.
 * My Friends and Zoidberg: The Legion of Super Heroes, and the Knifeketeer, a collection of the world's mightiest crime-fighters. And the Knifeketeer.
 * Noodle Incident: Whatever "the unpleasantness" of Sunnyside was, it made national news.
 * One Dialogue Two Conversations: Conversations between Scott and Mullet Boss often involve this. Perhaps exemplified best here.
 * Pointy Haired Boss: Scott's boss qualifies in every way. He even has a terrible hairstyle.
 * Product Placement: Parodied here and played with in the last panel.
 * Right Hand Cat: Here.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: A frequent issue of Scott's - the comment pages typically have a number of corrections in them, and he fixes misspellings as they are pointed out to him. Lampshaded in the comic.
 * I'll say this comic is more representative of this trope. Also serves as a Take That Audience.
 * Self Deprecation: A few comics break the fourth wall to mention Scott's drawing ability:

Rick: What'd it look like?

Scott: Like something only a skilled artist could draw.

Rick: It's a shame I'll never see one."

"Scott: To the person who told me the story in panel one: I have not told anyone your name, nor have I drawn any likeness of you. You can never sue me, or even act offended without identifying yourself. I win.
 * Shout Out: Frequent.
 * Stockholm Syndrome: Scott explains the Disney movie Beauty and The Beast.
 * Streisand Effect: Invoked when relating a story he'd heard from someone involving their having removed the keys from a handicapped woman's scooter and thrown them as far away as they could. But as he puts it in the last panel...

Rick: In the most cowardly way possible."

"Scott: I'm sorry, what was that?
 * Summation Gathering
 * Sustained Misunderstanding: Scott mishearing "back waxing" as "bag wag sing":

Mullet Boss: My bag.

Scott: Yes.

Mullet Boss: Wags.

Scott: Uh, okay.

Mullet Boss: WAG SING! WAG SING, MY BAG!

Scott: I still don't know what you're talking about, but I'm begging you to stop explaining."


 * Technical Pacifist: The Knifeketeer has several special knives for defeating a foe harmlessly, most prominently the "Fist-knife". It's actually very effective, as foes collapse from laughing too much.
 * The Un Smile: A classic - "Your hide will make a fine poncho!"
 * Trick Arrow: The Knifeketeer uses a Boxing Glove Knife, being a parody of Green Arrow and other superheroes who have to rely on inventive stupidity to remain useful and nonlethal at the same time.
 * Video Wills
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: Scott and Rick spend half their time insulting each other... and they're basically each others' only friends in-comic.
 * The Voiceless: The resident superhero Rocket Hat. Lampshaded within the comic as well. Sorta. And subverted in a guest strip.
 * Win Your Freedom
 * World of Snark
 * Writer Revolt: Scott Meyer got several comments asking him to make his wife look hotter, and 'less like a lesbian'. He responded by replacing her with pictures of Portia de Rossi.
 * Yet Another Christmas Carol: How to Learn The Error of Your Ways From Three Ghosts that Visit You On Christmas Eve.
 * Your Answer to Everything: Getting kicked in the groin, apparently.