Blessed with Suck/New Media

""If comic books, cartoons, and Sci-Fi Original Movies have taught me anything, it's that shapeshifting comes with a bunch of boring rules and restrictions that limit its potential Turn-Into-A-Bulldozer-Whenever-I-Wantity. You can turn into a machine gun but not bullets, contemporary jazz turns you back to normal, you can only turn into presents your grandma's knitted for you. Crap like that. For example, let's say I could turn into any species... OF BALLOON ANIMAL!!??""
 * Just how pervasive is this trope? Well, recently on Homestar Runner, StrongBad got an email asking what he would do if he had the ability to transform. StrongBad immediately assumes that he'd have to somehow be Blessed With Suck:


 * The trait positive girls from Lonely Girl 15 have a significantly longer lifespan than the average person due to the number of ribozymes in their blood which catalyse their own synthesis. Unfortunately, there are some people would like to take that blood for themselves, so, essentially, to be trait positive is to be forever on the run from people who want to kill you.
 * Moist from Dr. Horrible is an example of the first variation of this. His 'power" is that he is constantly damp. All he's really useful for is...well...making things soggy. In his own words: "At my most badass I make people feel like they wanna take a shower."