Light and Dark - The Adventures of Dark Yagami



""Some guy told me that im on Tv Tropes now which is like a wikipedia but for tv or something! THIS A FAMOUS STORY BUT I WONT LET IT GOT TO MY HEAD EVEN IF IM AWSEOM! Im not on tv but i guess death note is and thats why they licked it?""

- The author when he found out about TV Tropes.

Light And Dark The Adventures Of Dark Yagami (apparently written completely unpunctuated) is a Death Note fanfic in the same way My Immortal is a Harry Potter fanfic. It's written by D'arkYagam'i, author of Pain Note The Ressurekshun Of Ray Pember! and The God Of Time With No Name Lights Real Name!.

It focuses on Dark Yagami, Light's twin brother who trained at Whammy House but is secretly Kira. At first. The story meanders to such an extent that any possible summary would be almost irrelevant by the third chapter, by which point Light's sister Sayu is "sexing" with Misa to steal her Death Note for her dad who has taken Watari's job because Dark told him to but is secretly working for L. Later he goes to prison then comes back and becomes King of the Shinigami before time-travelling to France to kill Near to stop a time paradox. So... yeah.

While it is not renowned on the internet like other troll fics, It can be safely said that this fanfiction is on par with works such as the aforementioned My Immortal, Doom: Repercussions of Evil, and Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

Has six dramatic readings, by ReteikiAndYuma, hanfern, OperationGoChan (acted out with action figures), Temascos (with snarky slideshows), Pamachu Productions and Two Englishmen (lots of MSTing).

Has a drinking game, which can be found at Light and Dark - The Adventures of Dark Yagami/Drinking Game. And a character sheet.

The author recently wrote a crossover with The Hunger Games, called The Hunger Note Games, where Dark Yagami participates in the titular games.

"DAWN killed by CYBERKATAKDA! TWILIGHT killed by HAL! SOICHIROS GOLDFISH killed by COOL DUDE PEEING IN THE TANK! CYBERTAKADA sexed to death by SAYU! SOICHIRO and WATARI killed by THEM SAMANTHER outsceinced by NIGHT! RAY killed by RUBBLE! NEAR killed by DAY! COOL DUDE killed by BLUD KING OF THE SHINIGAMI! Also Day got punched by L while he was tying his shoes!"
 * Alliteration: "'BLOODY THANK YOU YOU BUMBLING BUGGER' he britished playing with his beardy thing."
 * All There in the Manual: The author's twitter will occasionally update us on the state or whereabouts of characters, such as Ryuk dying in a car accident/poisoning, before being resurrected by Blud.
 * Anachronism Stew: See You Fail History Forever
 * Anticlimax:
 * Other climaxes are a lot more climaxful, especially the last ten chapters.
 * Anyone Can Die: Apparently the point of chapter 40. D'ark even gives us this handy death tally:

""Do ghosts exits?" "THEY DO NOT MY GOOD YOUNG FREND BECOS THAT SORT OF THING IS IMPOSABLE?" "But ur a shinigami aren’t you imposable too?" "NO COS THIS IS THE DEATH NOT WORLD WHERE SHINIGAMI ARE POSABLE""
 * Apocalypse How: by the end.
 * Arbitrary Skepticism - Surpisingly, lampshaded and averted.

"- "You killed my son and my daughter and you had sex with her in lights bed and you came in my house all naked and you DIDN'T WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE DINNER" - [P]eople cried more until there was hurricanes and flooding and ducks everywhere stealing peopls' bread."
 * Ghosts don exits?
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking - In his evil base, Light has "computers and lasers and a nuclear and an xbox 360".

- "The sofa and the tv and soichiros favorite coffee table all got smashed to bits. Ray pember joined in the smashing and broke a book."

"and a nuclear that L had stealed from the japan army."
 * Artistic License: Biology: There is no way that Watari can be brought back to life from BULLET WOUNDS thanks to CPR (alone, that's all the "explanation" given) at least a month after being shot and killed. The human body does not work like that.
 * This might be a Shout-Out to Red vs. Blue.
 * Also, Dark apparently grows a mustache while changing his clothes.
 * If you fall twenty feet onto a barbecue that's lit, you won't be in any danger of catching on fire if you have an erection. Okay, that probably isn't what the author meant by "he was hard", but it's difficult to read it differently.
 * If you cut your hair, don't wear make up, and get a tattoo that says "IM [sic] A DUDE" you will look like a man. Even if you're a woman. And you're naked.
 * If your arms are injected with poison, you can "gargle all the poison out" and just spit it out.
 * Artistic License Geography: "We sent him to a top secret orphanage in Whales (its a town in England)"
 * Loch Ness (or Loch nes, as the author calls it,) doesn't adjoin it, either! And it's impossible to get the Tube there either.
 * How can a car chase through Paris end with someone flying over the river Thames which is in England?
 * Even better, Dark jumps down from the 'Eyfal' Tower and lands in the 'Tames'.
 * Also, L and Watari take a taxi instead of their helicopter to go from Wales to the USA...
 * Artistic License History: When Dark goes back in time by 4 days to kill Near again, he takes him to his "wherehouse/Whorehouse" and reveals that he had it built when Watari was Queen (which hasn't happened yet) 6 MILLION YEARS AGO. Before we can evern confirm humans even existed, let alone could build stuff.
 * Guy Forks was shot there.
 * And Light's parents grew up in the Middle Ages. And had glasses. And Shakespeare. And fanfiction.
 * Shakespeare is the king of England. And since this is before the Declaration of Independence, that means he's king of the whole world.
 * Shakespeare is the king of England. And since this is before the Declaration of Independence, that means he's king of the whole world.

"They all hit a tanker and it was carring nuclears so when it went up it made a massive fireball that chased Near and Dark down the streets burning everything in its path."
 * Japan does not have nuclear weapons, for obvious reasons.
 * Artistic License Nuclear Physics: The amount of things wrong with this sentence is... stunning.

""MY CAR!" lights dad scream looking at the scratch in the paint that the nuclear bom had made."
 * Nuclear bombs aren't carried in tankers (or tanks, for that matter.). Usually, there's a giant ballistic missile truck that's about fifty feet long and only has one nuke on it.
 * A nuke wouldn't explode if a car hit it, it would just be destroyed and disarmed. They need a very specific firing mechanism to go off properly.
 * What's Soichiro's car made of if this can happen?

"That sounds laaaaaaaaameeeeeee!shrieked light balleting into the room. "You need to find a way to make something I need LIKE HAIR GEL" "
 * And lastly, you cannot Outrun the Fireball when a nuke goes off right next to you. No, not even if you have a car going 300 kilometers per hour.
 * Awesome but Impractical: Night kills people by tattooing their names on her skin.
 * Also the "father detector" used by Watari explodes when it gives back a result.
 * Ax Crazy - Soichiro. In addition to swearing on a regular basis, In one scene he interrogates Mikami by holding a knife to his neck "like the Joker".
 * Back from the Dead - At this point, the question is not whether a character comes back from the dead, but whether he or she comes back completely alive or undead.
 * Badass Grandpa - According to Dark, Watari is a "bad arse". And according to him, he's L's biological grandfather.
 * Badass Mustache - Soichiro's Porn Stache, which he "twisted like an evil guy".
 * Not to mention Soichiro regrowing his mustache in the span of a chapter because he's so manly.
 * BFG: Matsuda's 'police gun'. On its highest setting it fires whole police cars!
 * Since he's "the chef", Soichiro's police gun takes this even further. His special police gun can fire tanks, battleships and police trains.
 * Biggus Dickus - when he becomes a Shinigami the size of a bus, he gets a "man thingy" as big as a bus and twice as wide. Doesn't seem to affect his sex life, though.
 * That would be kind of difficult to lug around. And what in the world kind of women...nevermind.
 * Even as a human, his "man thingy" is 17 times the size of Ray's.
 * Wouldn't that make it somewhere around five meters?
 * Big No- L when Dark takes over the world, Watari after he loses his status as queen.
 * Blood Magic: Dark uses Near's blood to make the Anti Life Note.
 * Boarding School of Horrors - Whammy House seems to be this in the epilogues. Watari stuffs Dark and Night into a box labelled "BORING STUFF DO NOT X-RAY" to take them on a plane.
 * Roger the caretaker is even worse:
 * "All he said was "I HATE CHILDREN" all the time and laughed like an evil man and didn't give them some more at meal times and did creepy things with his dog."
 * "GO TO BED YOU STINKING BRATS OR I WILL TURN YOUR ARSES INTO chicken tikka masala (its a britishy Indian food! Its red LIKE BLOOD. MAYBE IT IS BLOOD?) AND SERVE IT BACK TO YOU ON A PLATE MADE OF THE QUEENS HATS" roared roger.
 * Boobs of Steel: Samanther has "the biggest chests in the world," but held her own in a fight with Blud
 * Bottomless Magazines: Dark has a gun that holds 100,000 bullets. On the one hand, it's not breaking any established limits, but on the other, it's far too many for a real gun to have.
 * British English - Supposedly how Watari speaks.
 * "MARSTER L IS WANKING WITH MY GOOD FELLOW LIGHT! OH DEAR GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 * Bullet Time: "She pulled the gun and a bullet went out. Everything went all matrixy"
 * Butt Monkey: Near. It's invoked once, too.
 * And it just gets worse each chapter. Near is to Dark what Meg is to Peter
 * Light seems to have become one of these as well.
 * Naomi too.
 * Camp Gay: Light.

"Soichiro:: "YOU F-CKING F-CKED UP F-CKER WHO F-CKS F-CKS TELL ME WHERE THE F-CKING LIFE NOTE IS AND DON'T LIFE NOTE THAT F-CKING F-CK NIGHT YAGAMI BAK TO F-CKING LIVE OR ILL BREAK YOUR OTHER F-CKING BREADMAKER!""
 * Catch Phrase: "(Event will happen) or my name isn't (Name!)"
 * Running Gag: L using said catchphrase.
 * Cardboard Prison - Dark breaks out of prison quite easily with the help of his Royal Death Note.
 * Chew Bubblegum: Imhere to sex up L and bake cup cakes and im all out of cupcakes which is why I need to bake them!
 * Christmas Episode
 * Chronic Backstabbing Disorder - an endemic disease in the Light and Dark universe. Blud manages to quintuple-cross Dark, before Dark double-crosses him back.
 * Cluster F-Bomb: Soichiro.

""WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! WHAT F-CKING F-CKED UP F-CKING F-CK F-CKING F-CKER OF A F-CKER F-CKING M-TH-RF-CKING F-CK F-CK F-CK F-CK DID YOU F-CKING MAKE MY DORTER PREGNANT?""
 * And again in Chapter 25.

""So it could be anyone? We are doomed! Doooomed! Dooooooomed!" wailed Light like a baby who licked saying "doooooomed"."
 * Continuity Snarl: An impressive feat considering that this story is only 36 pages long and written by a single person. Nobody (including the author himself) has an idea of what's going on any more - and it just keeps on getting funnier.
 * The ending just makes this infinitely worse.
 * Cool Car: The NASBUS, which "had a nuclear for an engine and another nuclear for the headlights which were so bright that it set the road on fire."
 * Covert Pervert: Watari.
 * CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: And it heals bullet wounds.
 * Creator Provincialism: The very first line places Light Yagami as an American.
 * Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: "SHUT UP RUYK OR I WILL PUT A MAYPOLE INTO YOUR SKULL AND MAKE THE KIDDIES DANCE OVER YOUR FACE"
 * A Day in the Limelight: Chapter 21, for Soichiro.
 * Death Is Cheap: People can be revived with the Life Note, or brought back with some other Ass Pull.
 * Death by Sex: This is how Sayu manages to defeat Cybertakada. Through great sex. Once the intensity of the sex is too high, meaning it's 'more than 100% sexing' the person 'getting sexed' dies.
 * Demoted to Extra: Ryuk, and Mikami.
 * Department of Redundancy Department - ""Why yes dear boy" answered dark coshing him over the head with a cosh."
 * Or how about the "paint that the janitor used to paint things with".
 * "He was eating bananas like Ruyk ate apples but they were blood bananas made of blood."
 * "poison bananas made of poison"
 * "He kept the blood bananas in a special case because other people might eat them thinking they were not blood bananas and get a mouth full of blood banana and blood."
 * "I am Dark Yagami. You look sexyed. I am Dark Yagami."
 * Apparently, "Matsuda saw it".
 * "The nuclear bom went off like a bom"
 * "Suddenly he stopped suddenly.''
 * "There was some rules in the front but he figured how it worked anyway because he was a genius and worked it out."
 * "like when people die in romeo and julyt when they die"
 * Blud watched the action unfold from his sky bass in the sky
 * He grew like a mushroom in a mushroom farm
 * [...] THE CLONING MACHINE BUT BASICALLY IT'S A MACHINE THAT MAKES CLONES
 * A bunch of red lights went red
 * "The secret weapon is pretty damn secret."
 * Outside he saw a shadowy shadow shadowing away in the shadows.
 * ...who was slimy and smelly and smelled like slime.
 * Deus Sex Machina: In Chapter 34, the Creepy Chick turns out to be able to time travel via "lots of sexing"
 * Did Not Do the Bloody Research: most of what Watari says. "THAT FOOLISH WANKER DA’URQ IS IN NEW YORK AND HES KILLING SOME POOR SODS!"
 * Dissimile: A machine described as being like a time machine turns out to be a machine for going into people's dreams. What's the connection between the two?
 * Don't Explain the Joke: Many times, like when Sayu comes out of the closet to blackmail Misa into having sex with her, or Chapter 16's title "Good night Night ITS A PUN."
 * Doomy Dooms of Doom:

""Tell… my… mom…. I…. love…. Her!" said dark ."
 * Dramatic Ellipsis
 * Dramatic Wind: Chapter 16, to almost ridiculous levels
 * Dream Within a Dream: In the Hunger Games crossover, after getting stabbed and dying Near wakes up and realises it was All Just a Dream... then finds the knife is still in him. Then Dark wakes up for real.
 * Dropped a Bridge on Him: Light, Dark, Blud, though they get better.
 * And the "Creepy Dude" who gets killed by a random asteroid in chapter 29. Though knowing how this story works, he might make a reapperance.
 * Dual-Wielding - Watari with sniper rifles in Chapter 9.
 * Night wields two swords in Chapter 16, and Dark wields three in a manner suspiciously simliar to Zoro's three-sword style.
 * Easily Forgiven: Dark's punishment for trying to destroy the world? He gets grounded.
 * Embarrassing Middle Name: Darkus Taylor Yagami.
 * Light Melville Yagami.
 * Makes you wonder what Sayu's middle name is...
 * Emphasize Everything: Most of the time, but especially when things are getting "epic" or "awsome".
 * Enemy Mine: Everyone In this fic will abruptly work with former enemies to defeat new ones. Probably the best example is Dark and Night working to kill L for a few chapters, only for Dark to ally with L's ghost to kill Night, only for L's ghost to work with Night instead to kill Dark!
 * Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Dark, apparently (also in a very literal way)

""She must be here somewhere gramps" L said eating the remote."
 * "Everybody Laughs" Ending: Right before an incestous sevensome (with only six peoeple in it...).
 * Everyone Is Bi
 * Exotic Equipment: the extremely well-endowed Shinigami.
 * Extreme Omnivore: L.

""Sorry son!" Soichiro said and they hugged and the happy music came and the camera went fuzzy."
 * Fake Defector: Soichiro helps get Dark home and impersonates Watari, but reveals he's actually loyal to L.
 * False Camera Effects:

""GRACIAS!" she thanked. "I fortez je was mort" (An: France for dead) "Jem apple Naomi""
 * Fanfic Writers Have No Sense Of Scale: If Blud is "like twice the size of Ryuk" he must have a hard time fitting himself into Light's bedroom.
 * Fight Unscene - Much of the Dark vs. Blud fight in Chapter 13 is supposedly too fast for the audience to see.
 * Foreshadowing: Chapter 25. Lampshaded.
 * Full Name Ultimatum: Some cops in chapter 24; apparently, Dark's full name is "Darcus Taylor Yagami."
 * Gambit Pileup - Attempted, failed rather miserably, so each one just comes of as a egregious Ass Pull. Of course, that doesn't stop the reader from being morbidly curious about what ridiculous nonsense is going to happen next.
 * Gender Flip: Hal Lidner is a male, while in the anime and manga, "he" is a she.
 * Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: D'arkYagam'i certainly seems to think so.
 * Good Twin: Day Yagami for Light.
 * Good News, Bad News
 * Goofy Print Underwear: Dark's underwear has "d"s on them.
 * Gosh Dang It to Heck: Light's mom.
 * Gratuitous Foreign Language: About three in this one sentence, along with a ton of Rouge Angles of Satin.

""Konnycheewar!" the not-naked dude said in Japanish (IT MEANS HELLO)."
 * Gratuitous Japanese: Chapter 26's title. In the epilogue meanwhile, someone who seems to be an Alternative History L speaks like this:

"Light’s parents had made light’s bed into a double bed (I know what your thinking sickos no theres no Slash!) Light and Dark were in bed together but only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything! he loved Dark which maybe he did a little but not really cos Darks not gay!!!! SERIOUSLY "I am not gay" Darksaid because the readers at home might think so other ways. "Where did you get him he is very hansom!" dark said but only because he was a clone of him HES NOT GAY.""
 * Guns Akimbo: Apparently used with Dark, but it's said that he "jumps out of a kimbo with guns"
 * Hammerspace: Night puts a Life Note into her bra.
 * Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Dark is not gay. The author want to make this very clear:

""Look Mr L dude" dark said darkly. "I just want to blow up the world is that so evil?" "Yes because then where will the kiddies live?" Night looked shocked and stopped signing. "BRO! I NEVER FORT OF THAT!""
 * Heel Realization: Night.

""At first they only sexed a bit but then they sexed more becos Dark needed to brake in and L had to make a bunch of noise so she wood not hear the smashy bits." "They sexed very hard and made so much nosse that a bunch of pigeons flew away all over the city and some dudes thought it was an earthquake but it wasn't because it was just some noisy sexing and Ls trailer was rocking real hard then it stopped cos they were done.""
 * High-Pressure Blood: What happens when Near throws a knife back at a knife throwing guy, dousing Dark's car with blood.
 * His Name Is--: Mikami manages to get a "Light Yaga" before dying, and L is angered that the group never got a name.
 * IKEA Erotica - sex scenes are always avoided by telling us that the characters are 'sexing.' That's it.
 * The Immodest Orgasm L gets a special mention.

"Soichiro: NO! My wife! And my daughter! And my son! And my other son who is an evil guy! And his girlfriend! And a girl from the bus! All sexing together!"
 * Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Night and L.
 * Improbable Aiming Skills: Dark kills 1,000,000 stormtroopers with 100,000 bullets. That means every time he shoots, he kills on average ten people. Except he misses one... but then punches him so hard in face it kills 100 more.
 * Near, using a Nerf gun, manages to shoot out the bullets of Dark's sniper rifle, as well as his scope, while Dark is shooting from atop the "Eyfal Tower".
 * Improbable Weapon User: Almost everyone in this fic at some point.
 * Improbably Cool Car: The watarimobile.
 * Incest Is Relative - somewhere down the line, the author seems to have forgotten that Sayu is Dark's sister. And a sevensome with your sister, your brother, his girlfriend, his other girlfriend and your mum? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

"I MUST KILL EVERYONE blud replied and he took the needle from TIOSEAFK! "Why do you want to want to do that?" she asked pouting her lipsticky lips. BECAUSE WE ARE SHINIGAMI AND THAT MEANS GOD OF DEATH AND GODS CAN DO ANYTHING SO THEY SHOULD MAKE EVERYTHING DEAD and he stuck the needle in a blood banana and sucked out the goopy blood inside."
 * Oddly enough, 9 chapters later, Dark refuses to see Night naked because "it was his clon and thats like a sister and tthats gross."
 * Incredibly Lame Pun - everytime Near is mentioned, something or someone is "near" him. The author feels the need to point this out explicitly.
 * Also used in chapter 3: "Once Misa was alone Sayu came out the closet (get it!? : P )."
 * In Name Only: The "hokie cokie". Except, technically because of the typo, it isn't even InNameOnly. Also, all the canon characters and elements.
 * Insane Troll Logic: This gem from the most recent chapter:

""I will writ 'EVERYONE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT DRAK' IN MY ROYAL DEATH NOTE UNLESS THE QUEEN OF THE SHINIGAMI CHALLENGE ME TO A DUAL!""
 * Dark's threat in Chapter 17.

""They did a bunch of jumps over a wall and a cruise boat but missed some sharks and didnt jump them (ITS AN INTERNET THINGY)""
 * In the Blood: apparently, killing all "evil dudes" means that there cannot be any evil kids.
 * Jump the Shark: In-Universe. And a little more literally than expected.

""So BLud ate a blood banana and died happy.""
 * Kick the Dog: Soichiro steals another policeman's jacket and uses it to heat the precinct. But don't worry, he gets it back later!
 * Kick Them While They Are Down: The author does this to constant Butt Monkey Near. After being killed countless times and suffering the hatred of every character in the story, Dark steals Near's Legos so the poor boy doesn't get any presents for Christmas! ;_;
 * Kick the Son of a Bitch: Attempted with Dark attacking Near... except despite what we're told, Near never does anything deserving of his kicking.
 * A Retcon in a later chapter reveals that Near used a Blind Note to stop Light seeing a naked woman and tricked Light into killing Taylor Swift. The author specifically states that he introduced these concepts to make Near deserving of this kicking. And calls us "doushy" for it.
 * Killed One Syllable From The End Of The Sentence, Inexplicably Invalidating What You Just Said: Mikami, while identifying Light as Kira.
 * Killed Off for Real: The Anti-Life Note kills people and prevents the Life Note from bringing them back.
 * It's used on Near, but he's fine in the next chapter.
 * Kill'Em All - by the end the world has been destroyed, every person aside from Dark and Samanther are dead. Yet somehow or another the author claims there can be new adventures.
 * Knight Templar Parent: Soichiro.
 * Large Ham: Dark as the Shinigami King.
 * Blud, Soichiro, and Watari qualify as well.
 * Lego Genetics: The clone machine works like this.
 * Lemony Narrator
 * Let's You and Him Fight - Dark claims credit for using this tactic to trick L and Light into killing each other, but all evidence points to them coming into conflict with each other before Dark intervened.
 * Let Them Die Happy - Blud.

"Light: "Stop saying colour! Your in America now! Its color!""
 * Line-of-Sight Name - Retconned to the be the origin of Soichiro's name.
 * Love Triangle: Type 5. Dark loves Naomi who loves Night who loves Mello.
 * Ludicrous Gibs: What remains of Matt after his car explodes.
 * Also what happens to Dark after getting shot repeatedly with the police gun. That doesn't stop him from stealing the Everything Note four sentences later.
 * Luxury Prison Suite: Dark uses his Royal Death Note to make himself quite comfortable in prison.
 * Magic Countdown: The countdown for the nuclear missile launch takes ages to move from 10 to 9, then jumps to 1 in a single line of dialogue.
 * Magnificent Bastard: The author tries to invoke this with Dark, but the trope is averted due to the stories confusing nature and Dark's complete and utter lack of subtlety in carrying out his plans. Despite having all the traits that a Magnificent Bastard would not have, though, Dark proclaims himself a "sutle" Magnificent Bastard and delivers a subsequent Take That towards TV Tropes.
 * Manly Tears: Du'Arq ("HE started crying with happy but then stopped and man cried instead which was more manly.")
 * Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: Oh boy...
 * Meanwhile in The Past
 * Medium Awareness

""Die you pies of shit!""
 * Metaphorgotten: "HEY NEAR TRUTH OR DARE" mello roared lolling as blood explossomed out like a rainbow if all the colours except red were stolen by an evil leprechorn and instead of a pot of gold he had a pot of dead sparrows but they weren't dead they were zombies and they terrorised ireland."
 * Mind Reading: Night Yagami, with her "Shinigami Ears".
 * Mind Screw: Dark can jump out of the basement window and fall 20 feet onto a lit barbecue... and live. Because he has an erection...
 * Really, most if not all of the story qualifies for this trope. Chapter 42 especially qualifies.
 * Modesty Bedsheet: Night, Chapter 16
 * More Dakka: Blud's seventeen crossbows stuck together with blood and "duck tape".
 * To shoot 100,000 shots in the ~10 minutes that Dark's implied to have done it, his gun would have to be firing at a rate of 166 rounds per second. And each bullet can pass through ten stormtroopers before stopping.
 * Murder Is the Best Solution: Dark doesn't bother much with planning, instead typically writing his target's name into the Death Note whenever he needs to solve a problem. L's plans to capture Dark tend to consist of sending assassins after him.
 * My Nayme Is - When Dark becomes a shinigami, he renames himself Du'arq. Except it usually gets spelled Da'urq. Or D'uark. Or D'rq. Or Du'Raq.
 * Sa~Y'u, anyone?
 * My Own Grampa -
 * Nice Job Breaking It, Hero - The girl from the bus kills Dark on L's orders, enabling him to become King of the Shinigami.
 * No Indoor Voice: Watari, Blud, Sorchiro
 * Not So Harmless - Sayu becomes queen of the Shinigami.
 * Obligatory Swearing - Soichiro seems to suffer worst from this.
 * Odd Name Out - The Yagami children are named Light, Dark, Day, Night, Dawn... and Sayu.
 * Of Corsets Sexy - TIOSEFAJ. Maybe. She wears "one of those sexy waistcoat things ladies wear in Shakespeare times with the chests and the wastes" anyway.
 * Offscreen Teleportation - How exactly does Soichiro get from his place to L's in the time it takes for Light & Dark to talk and Dark to call L?
 * Oh, Cisco - "Better make it a foursome!" No, Light, just no.
 * One of Us - The author is aware of this wiki and makes references to it, but then a lot of these references are derisive. When they are at all coherent, anyway.
 * Opposite Gender Clone: Night Yagami, Dark's sister.
 * Outrun the Fireball: Dark and Near when faced with a nuclear explosion in France.
 * Out with a Bang: Happens both literally and metaphorically to Cybertakada. Going to "101% sexing" with Sayu causes her to explode.
 * Panty Shot: Yes, in a fanfic.
 * Paper-Thin Disguise: Night's attempt at crossdressing: a tattoo that says "Im (sic) a guy". While naked.
 * Parlor Games: The kiddies at Whammy House play Strip Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare. It ends as you would expect. "Near was naked cos he lost all his four fits and everyone had lolled at his ugly bod. Mello had been dared to glue himself to the ceiling so he was stuck there for now. Cool Dude had got drunk on Rgoers beer and started kissing matt who was also drunk and everyone had lolled EVEN MORE."
 * Pet the Dog: Light buying a new breadmaker and flowers for Yotsuba to "say soz".
 * Plot Hole - Dark's Royal Death Note kills anyone's who name is written in it, even if you don't know their face or name. So... what do you write in it? To be fair, he could kill L just by writting "L" in it. Whether this was the Royal Death Note's exception or yet another unintentional (or not) is left for you to decide.
 * Remember the quote at the top? That's bad enough on its own but it's later revealed that Dark didn't even have a car and went to America as a ship's stowaway.
 * Soichiro is posing as Watari in Chapter 1. That's fine. But he's with L at "Watari House" at the exact same time he's in America with the Yagami family.
 * Poirot Speak: Some of the French people speak in a bizarre mixture of French and English ("TU WILL PAYEZ FOR THIS!"). Of course, the French is about as accurate as the English.
 * The Power of Love: Dark claims this is the reason why he doesn't die in his fight against L in chapter 42. We don't see it either.
 * "Previously On..." - Watari has a computer that synopsizes the story so far. Except it manages to get the plot completely wrong. That's right - even the author doesn't know what's going on. Which, granted, is entirely understandable.
 * Punctuated Pounding - Dark punctuates his threats against Near with coshing. "DO (cosh) YOU (cosh) WANT (cosh) TO (cosh) BE (cosh) NECKS?"
 * Punctuation Shaker - Du'arq. The author's username D'arkYagam'i counts too.
 * Rated "M" for Manly Soichiro. Word of God states that he's so manly that he can grow facial hair at an extremely fast rate.
 * He's also so manly that when he yells into a cellphone, the satellite explodes, raining flaming debris on Seattle and Moscow, and STILL make the call go through.
 * Real Men Wear Pink - Subverted. Light and L's Harrier Jet is described as being "pink and lame and not badass" like Dark's is.
 * The Real Remington Steele - When Naomi first appears, she's Takada in disguise, but the real Naomi later appears.
 * Reset Button: After Sayu launches nuclear missiles at Du'Arq, the changes he made, like making Watari Queen of England, are undone.
 * The Reeset Note from the start of Chapter 35 also qualifies.
 * Reverse Mole: Blud
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: Most of the story, but several lines stand out.

""BLud said he will make me king of the shinigami if we win this fight so now we have to DOUBLE FIGHT" He shouted at every one because he was the leader and this is the part of the movie where everyon's all like "WE'RE GONNA LOSE" and dark is like "NO WAY M-THERF-CKERS" and everyone cheered"
 * Let's not forget the 'angles signing' when lights mom came back to life.
 * The quote in the beginning speaks for itself.
 * Or when Dark grabbed the cock.
 * And of course, there is Dark's "Few! I thought I was a boner there!"
 * Somewhat less obvious is "YOU WILL USE YOUR POWERS TO KIL... LIGHT AYANAMI!"
 * Whenever the author says "vicarious" he means "bicurious", like My Immortal and its Passively/Passionately.
 * Rousing Speech:

"Things got more awesome and they were fighting on the roof and there was lighting all around and winds blew everyones hair aaround and also blew away the sheet night was using to not be naked. An thunder smash the roof of the building and bits of tile flew every where and it was very scary. Like if youve ever jumped in front of a bus and the bus was being driven by satan and there was a dead frog on the front and fire instead of a windscreen - thats how scary it was."
 * Rule of Cool: Referenced at least. "I KNOW NOAMI WAS NOT ENLGISH BUT IT MAKESS THE STORY COOLER THIS WAY!"
 * You can't read a passage like this one and tell me this isn't the coolest thing ever:

""They lay back and L was smoking a ciggeret cos that's what peeps do after sexing I think.''"
 * This entire fic is basically fueled by this trope.
 * Running Gag: The "Near" puns, as well as "...or my name isn't...!"
 * Ruthless Modern Pirates: Dark's boat is attacked by "moden pirates with guns and rockets and taking over oil tanks lick those guys on tv."
 * Serial Escalation- How many more twists can be introduced?, how many Shout Outs will occur?, and how Over the top can the characters get?
 * Sexy Discretion Shot - "The stuff that was going on was pretty grafic and I don’t want to make this fic M so all I’ll say is that it was sexy and Takada was using mop but was naked (you’ll have to figure out how for your self rofl!)"
 * Shaped Like Itself - the favourite snack of Dark's shinigami Blud: "blood bananas made of blood". Also, "The nuclear bom went off like a bom".
 * Shout-Out - See the Shouts Out page.
 * Show Within a Show: Recursive version: Death Note.
 * Slash Fic - Initially it attacks slash - later, Watari finds L and Light in bed together.
 * Shakespeare Was A Kira
 * Smoking Hot Sex: L in chapter 27 after having sex with Light.

""I will sex with you if you tell me your real name." She spoke all sexy style. "Sorry but im gay" [said L] and slammed the door in her face."
 * Sorry, I'm Gay: L, when Night tries to seduce him to find out his real name.

""Suddenly a rocket WOOOSHED past and left a big line of smoke and a bang at the end where it missed but only the helicopter because it still hit another tower but it was okay because noone was in the tower except for that leloosh guy (MORE LIKE LELOSER AM I RIGHT!) an d everyone hates him so its cool except he has a giant robot and also ive never seen it.""
 * Spit Take: With cake.
 * And french fries.
 * Stealth Parody - It has to be.
 * If this fandomsecret is to be believed, it is. Link to FS post (#104).
 * A confession?
 * Suspiciously Specific Denial - See Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today? above
 * Sweet Polly Oliver - Night Yagami gets a tattoo and changes into a man to go out with L and get his Life Note.
 * Take That - One directed at this very site.
 * And one directed at Code Geass.
 * And one directed at Code Geass.

"[...] but it [the skin] wasn't shiny cos those vampires are lame"
 * And yet another one at Twilight.

""It was the early morning and Light and Dark were in bed together but only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything! Light came all over the bed from the window of the room. Dark reached round and grabbed the cock from the table. It was seven oclock.""
 * The Tape Knew You Would Say That - Dark's speech when controlling, considering that it was completely prewritten in his Death Note.
 * Tap on the Head - Dark just won't stop coshing Near. With his cosh.
 * Technicolor Eyes - "His seventy-nine eyes all burned a diffrent shed of red except one which was gold because it contained the tiny good part of his sole"
 * Textual Celebrity Resemblance: Samanther is described looking "just like the drummer chick from that scot pilgrim film" (Kim Pine), played by Alison Pill.
 * That Came Out Wrong: Many lines but this one really sticks out:

"everyone cheered except this isn't a movie THIS IS REAL LIFE except its not cos it's a fanfic and everyone new they were gonna win! But they cheered anyway"
 * Theme Naming: Light's siblings/clones/duplicates/whatever are called Dark, Night, Day, Dawn, Dusk, Shadow, and Twilight.
 * The Nineties: "It was the ninetys in America. Everyone was watching Friends and lissening to Nirvana and Backseat Boys on records and driving motorbikes and wearing lever jackets everywhere and being all slick and watching flims like Goastbusters and Lord of the Rings! There was no thing as the internet yet so peeps had to download stuff from their TV instead."
 * There Is Only One Bed - "But only because there parents were to poor to get separate rooms its not like their gay or anything!"
 * They Killed Kenny Again: Poor Near.
 * This Is Reality - Discussed or Averted or Subverted or Double Subverted or Lampshaded or... something:

"Then the moon got really close to the ground and it was the pointy moon so it started stabbing people."
 * Time Parradoks - Invoked but improperly used. Blud tells Dark that he's going to write Matt's name in the Death Note so that he dies in a car crash in the past and prevent him from stealing the Death Note from Yotsuba. Blud uses this trope to explain why he is saying this now and not when he uses the Death Note in the near future.
 * The worst part; these actionbs are to prevent a Time Paradox. But later, when Dark loses his King Status, he goes back in tim to kill Near in the past. No, that's never create a "Parradoks".
 * Time Police - Apparently nowhere to be found.
 * Trademark Favorite Food - Blud and his blood bananas (made of blood).
 * Troll Fic - And it just gets more and more obvious with each new chapter.
 * Trouser Space - Dark keeps his phone and Death Note here. And Blud "a bar of gold the size of the empire state building". And Mello a bottle, "to pretend he had a big man thing".
 * Unexplained Recovery: Blud comes back from being killed by Dark without explaining how he did so.
 * Near provides an even more confusing example. In chapter 13, Dark kills Near because he needs him for a "sacrifis". However, later in the chapter, it's stated that Dark imprisoned Near. Night then writes Near's name in the Anti Life Note which is stated to be able to kill the victim forever. However, in the next chapter, Near is revealed to be alive.
 * Two more examples are L and Light, whom Dark "tricked" into kill each other, but they both appear alive and well a few chapters later. Bizarrely, the opposite happens to Mello, who is described as a ghost during the same scene, even though he seems to have escaped the chapter he had last appeared in perfectly alive.
 * Unit Confusion - The author claims that "killmeters" are the same as miles in France.
 * Unfortunate Names - Watari Bumblesnoot the Third.
 * Black Holes Suck - Appears in the climactic battle, after Blud spits sizzling bacon grease at the ground that somehow penetrates to the Earth's core and causes it to rapidly expand until the planet explodes, somehow creating a black hole that proceeds to suck up the entire universe.
 * Unusual Chapter Numbers: Dark goes back in time in Chapter 35; every chapter number after this is three less than what it should be.
 * Unusual Euphemism - "Getting happy" seems to refer fairly consistently to becoming aroused (for male characters) or having an orgasm (for female characters).
 * Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma - A single comma appears in the whole fic, in Chapter 25.
 * Weird Moon

"He had a machine in his hands that looked like a bomb which scared people but it was actually just a father detector. He stuck the wires to the creepy dudes neck and eyes and butt and the machine went "bip bip bip bip biiiiip bip bip biiiiiiiiiip bip bip" and exploded and then a paper came out."
 * Weird Science: The father detector.

""If there is anything i can do?" "COULD YOU SET ME UP WITH YOUR MOM?" Dark punched Blud cos he was the only guy aloud to make your mom jokes about Light’s mom."
 * "Yotsuba" apparently revived Night Yagami by mistake, trying to revive his pet Might Yagami. It's not dumb that he screwed up the name (though that is bad); it's that he gave his own pet somebody else's last name.
 * We Used to Be Friends: Dark claims that he and L used to be best friends until Dark shot Mello and Watari.
 * What the Hell, Hero? - Soichiro denounces L for testing the Death Note on his wife, but he uses the Life Note to revive her.
 * Willing Suspension of Disbelief: Trampled to death.
 * With Catlike Tread - L's idea of stealth in capturing Mikami is to jump through a window screaming.
 * Whole-Plot Reference: To A Christmas Carol. It's lampshaded once.
 * Including, of all things, a Shout-Out to The Muppet Christmas Carol.
 * World of Ham
 * Yandere: Potentially the "girl from the bus", who kills Dark after she's left out of the group hug.
 * Yaoi Guys: Light and L.
 * Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: TIOSEAFJ. And it hurts.
 * Shakespeer, too.
 * You Are Too Late: "I did it like 35 minutes ago" says Night when Dark announces he wants to steal L's Life Note.
 * Your Mom


 * You Gotta Have... Dark Black Rainbow Hair. Du'Arq's hairstyle as Shinigami king.
 * You Keep Using That Word: The frequent use of "muttered" as a synonym for "shouted", "yelled", etc.
 * The author does not seem to understand that some nouns simply cannot be used as verbs. "Turboed" and "I must faster" prove this.
 * You Kill It, You Bought It: That's how you become the shinigami king.
 * And, apparently, the Queen of England.
 * Zombie Apocalypse: "THE BURNED RADIACTIV WASTELAND FULL OF ZOMBIES THAT WAS ONCE AMERICA"