Pocky in Ramen

Probably one of the few non-Yaoi Matt/Mello fanfics out there, written by CelticKawaii, centers on the story of how Mello and Matt came to be friends. It can be found here. Comedic Sociopathy and Hilarity Ensues.

When seven-year-old Mello gets a new roommate, things start to, well, go crazy. So far, newcomer Mail Jeevas has essentially been the cause of Mello losing his main chocolate stash hidden in his mattress, and of course, more horrible things are probably going to happen. You may now feel free to feel sorry for Mail.

"Matt: Yeah, now we know why it's important to bring a flashlight."
 * Badass Unintentional: Ironically, Mello at the age of three; he pulls a gun out and aims it at Quilish Wammy, resulting in being Shrouded in Myth by everyone in Wammy's House. In reality, he wasn't trying to be cool, and was actually pretty terrified at the time. Not to mention, he had no idea just who he was dealing with anyway, and even admits it in the narrative.
 * Brick Joke: In the beginning of Chapter 3, Mello, Matt and Linda realize they forgot to bring a flashlight to the basement. Later on, they here someone falling down the stairs, who turns out to be.

"Mello: I-it's...it's gone. (referring to his chocolate stash hidden in his mattress)
 * Cannot Keep a Secret: Apparently, confiding in Linda is essentially "blasting it on a megaphone hooked up to amps from the roof". Unless of course, she's blackmailed.
 * Can't Stand Them Can't Live Without Them: How Matt and Mello feel about one another.
 * Comedic Sociopathy
 * Crazy Prepared: Well, somehow Played Straight and Subverted;.
 * From the Mouths of Babes: Despite being rated "K", there are occasional mild swear words.
 * Hypocritical Humor: Mello occasionally finds Matt's gaming addiction totally ridiculous at times; never mind that he basically admits he's addicted to chocolate, and then recants that statement within the same chapter.
 * I'm Standing Right Here: Chapter 3, with Linda.
 * Last-Name Basis: Matt has yet to receive his codename yet, and Mello will typically address him as "Jeevas", only occasionally calling him "Mail".
 * Life's Work Ruined: It took a long time to build up that chocolate stash...only for poor Mello to loose it. Aw.
 * Misplaced Sorrow: Chapter 3:

Linda: What?

Matt: Does this mean you're telling everyone that I still suck my thumbs?"

"Matt: Oh wow, I think I was so excited, I just peed.
 * Offscreen Crash: Near in Chapter 3.
 * Oh Crap: The chocolate is gone...
 * Potty Emergency: Non-humorous example at the beginning of Chapter 4.
 * Rage Against the Author: In the author's notes.
 * Rapid-Fire Comedy: At times.
 * Running Gag: Matt still sucks his thumbs, and Mello is a chocoholic.
 * Slapstick
 * Sophisticated As Hell
 * Straight Man and Wise Guy: Mello and Matt, respectively.
 * This Is No Time to Panic: Mello tells himself this after finding his old mattress is missing. When the chocolate stash hidden turns out to have been cleaned, well...
 * Toilet Humor: Matt in Chapter 4, briefly;

Mello: What?

Matt: Just kidding."

"Mello(dragging Matt across the floor): I'm not letting you back out of this, Jeevas! I don't care if you're tired! It's not my fault you're out of shape!
 * Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: That the two main characters in the story eventually become friends is a Foregone Conclusion; but take this little gem, for example:

Matt: How come you're the one who's always eating chocolate but I'm the one who's out of shape?

Mello: Life's not fair.

Matt: I hate you.

Mello: Same here, now get off your butt and move!"

""And finally, I think I finally figured out what it was about him [Matt], that I couldn't name earlier; he was cute. You know, like a puppy you get from the shelter who thought of ripping up your pillows and eating your shoes. Yeah, you still kicked the crap out of that thing, but then later on he came back and you're not mad anymore cause he's got big brown eyes and wants to play. Yeah, Mail Jeevas was kind of like that.""
 * Or this one: