The Eye of Argon/Drinking Game

Because obviously we have nothing better to do. We considered adding 'every time there is a punctuation error' to the list, but that would be suicide.

Without further ado...
 * Take a shot every time you have to reread an entire sentence or paragraph because of the Purple Prose.
 * Two more if you still don't get it.
 * Take a shot every time Grignr (or anyone) calls a man a 'slut'.
 * Take a shot every time a woman is referred to as a 'wench' or 'female'.
 * Take a shot every time the word 'stygian' is used in any form.
 * Take a shot every time two contradictory descriptions are used together.
 * Take a shot every time the author spends a paragraph discussing clothing.
 * Taketh a shot when e'er someone uses Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe
 * Take a shot every time Carthena's breasts are mentioned.
 * Take a shot every time someone faints or loses consciousness. Two for the epileptic priest.
 * Partake of a measured portion of heady baccan fluid every time eyes or blood are described as 'emerald-green orbs' or 'life fluid' or something similar.
 * Take a shot every time the plot halts to allow Grignr or the narrator to go off on a tangent involving wenches.
 * Take a shot every time an adjective is used as an adverb.
 * Down a bloody mary every time there is an entire paragraph of Gorn.
 * Drink every time the blatant Author Appeal becomes too much.
 * Take a shot every time the author misuses a word.
 * Another if it makes it unintentionally hilarious.
 * Take a shot every time the laws of anatomy seem to have been rewritten by Rob Liefeld.
 * Take two every time the author starts using the characters as a mouthpiece for his opinions.
 * Check sanity and I.Q. levels if ever it starts to make sense.

Empty the bottle if you are still conscious by the end.

See also the My Immortal Drinking Game, for those with masochistic tendencies.

Survivors And Near Survivors go in the discussion portion