Spoony's Campaign/Funny

"Joe: If you wanna know what I would tell the messenger, I'd basically just say that, uh, y'know, I have a package up in my room, I would take him up to my room, and I would show... Sean: (snickering) I bet you do. ... Spoony: "Dear Queen. This is Garret. Come to inn. Will give head." Sean: "Kinda smelly. Sorry." Nik: "You'll love it!" Jason: She's gonna have one hell of a bachelorette party. ... Joe: You're taking that out of context. Just because I'm taking a dude up to my room, and showing him my head, doesn't mean... Jason: Nonono, you're giving him - that's what you're doing. Joe: No, I'm not giving it to him, I'm showing it. Nik: (singing) Necrophilia, necrophilia... ... Joe: It's a severed head! You fucking perverts! Nik: Is that what they're calling it these days? "Severed head"?
 * WE WERE FIGHTING LIKE MEN!
 * Now in animated form!
 * The party encounters their greatest obstacle yet: a door.
 * Lord Vane using the Ring of Ram on a particularly reticent porticulus. And the entire party at the same time.
 * All the botches during the fight with the shades.
 * Viktor botches against his shade, which gives his shade an opportunity attack... which it also botches. Viktor then proceeds to act buddy-buddy with his shade.
 * Darstine rolling ones the entire fight, including one that causes her to fall prone on her sword. And then Vane and Garrett come down the chute right on top of her.
 * The Garrett shade tries to use "Vicious Mockery" against the real Garrett, and botches, resulting in him saying, "You're just, gah, hell you're the sexiest man I've ever seen!"
 * Before they started the game on 8/15/10, the group started going on a tirade ripping Jason to shreds with insults. They then start making fun of Chris Benoit. It gets so horrible, it becomes, hilarious.
 * Worth pointing out, the jokes at Jason's expense were all kidding, based off something Angry Joe said, which resulted in everyone coming up with increasingly harsher variants of "I hate you, but here's a cool video."
 * In Part 2 of the 8/21/10 video, Joe is trying to describe his plan to regain Sarmanath's trust. Unfortunately for him, he keeps saying things that could be interpreted as Double Entendre. The others pick up on this very quickly. And Joe just doesn't stop digging that hole...

Joe: No, severed.

Nik: That's gotta be some sort of new BDSM practice.

Spoony: Indeed.

Joe: No, it's big, it's a big head...

Skitch: I'm sure it is.

Joe: The one on the top of your body!!

Nik: Oh wow, that's a big'un."

"Talbot: "...and if you don't give me what I want... well, who is to say you didn't assassinate her on our wedding night?" Viktor: *completely deadpan* "The King." Talbot: "...oh." *cue epic defeat*"
 * Everything involving the burning mattress.
 * The final confrontation with Talbot, wherein he holds the Queen at knifepoint, insults Vane's father to mentally attack him, and is generally a Smug Snake throughout, only to be thrown off his edge by two well-chosen words.

"Spoony: Okay, you awaken in your TARDIS-- Joe: (deadpan) What's a "Retardis"?"
 * Spoony playing with his headset's voice changer in the 11/28 update, using the robotic voice mask to play RoboCop, a Dalek, Zordon, and the Killer Robot from RoboWar. He makes good use of it later on in the session when the group encounters.
 * Don't you dare forget "Pika Pika".
 * Along with The Lollipop Guild, Zero Wing and DARK ENERGON. The voice filter shenanigans hijacked the actual proceedings of the session for a good ten minutes (not to mention the subsequent technical difficulties), but was completely worth it.
 * Do cancelled sessions count? When Spoony was forced to cancel the 11/14 session (after realizing he consulted the wrong edition of his guidebook during planning), several campaign members attempted to play a Doctor Who RPG--with Angry Joe, the person with the least knowledge of the show, playing as the Doctor. It started with Joe attempting to steal weapons from a Roman centurion, and went downhill from there...

"LordKaT: So, um, who wants to run in there first and get teleported to a dark room full of zombies and get eaten to death?
 * Linkara, the resident Whovian of the group, was laughing so hard that he had to excuse himself while he regained his composure.
 * Drunk Rollo T, depressed about the NY Giants losing their 21 point lead and the game, arriving late on the 12/19 session bringing hilarity.
 * As was the fact that he was drunk on a mix of orange vodka and Diet Mountain Dew.
 * From the 11/7 session:

Skitch: That's a great idea. Um, or or or or or, barring that, we could...try to disarm whatever might be happening there.

Linkara: Screw that!

RolloT: Or, OR! Viktor could take his axe and chop the door down.

Y Ruler of Time: It's made of stone, I don't think that'll work too well.

RolloT: Oh, stop being such a pussy, Viktor, and chop down the door!!

Y Ruler of Time: Viktor proceeds to use Juliet's face as an axe. "You need sharpen your teeth to be better axe!" *impact sounds*

LordKaT: Why does my face hurt...?"

""Now was Bayban’s time to impress. He introduced himself as an enigma; a man whose legends cast fear into the hearts who know of his deeds. Was he a hero? Was he a villain? All we knew was that wherever he went death seemed to follow. What would happen when Bayban the Butcher swung his bloodstained axe?! ....He botched and split his pants. No, seriously. He botched, and the botched roll said that he damages a piece of clothing. What an awkward roll. I think we said he tore his cloak, but it’s so much funnier to imagine this big armored hulk of a Paladin trying to swing his weapon and instead ripping his pants. Sorry Linkara, but that will forever be Bayban’s legacy to me. Welcome to D&D.""
 * That session happened to be Linkara's first; as such, he was trying to make a good impression on the group. So, when the party came upon an ancient stone coffin guarded by a vile demon, Bayban...well, it's best to let Rollo T describe what happened next:

"Garret: Wow Juliet, you're such a bitch!"
 * In the first video of the Epic Sessions, Vane II gets jumpy when he thinks people are speaking ill of his father. RolloT decides to milk this for all it's worth, firing off Stealth Insults by saying honest compliments then laughing afterwards ("Your father was a great man. *snerk*"), which drives Vane II nuts. Garret sums it up nicely at the end:

"Intimidating Bayban: Excuse me, sir, but if you think the monsters are "coming" then you are obviously too drunk to see anything clearly, because the monster's right in front of you!. SO I SUGGEST. YOU. RUN! (they run) Happy Bayban: Chicken?"
 * The party has captured a pair of mercenaries who were sent to kill them. Grae offers one of them the following deal: Give us all of your gold, and we'll let you live. The mercenary says nothing and just stares at Grae defiantly, who proceeds to execute him on the spot and offer the same deal to the other mercenary, who informs Grae that all their gold is in the packs that he already took from them. Grae: "Oh, well, I guess you can go then."
 * 2/20/11 - Bayban's just followed his nose to get some food, and some drunks are none too pleased at seeing the Paladin walk in, so one of them spits on him and attempts to call him out. Before the guy can, Bayban grabs him by the throat, hits his head on the bar, tells off the drunks, and sends them all packing. The funny part? He then proceeds to calmly go over to the half orc running the establishment, order a round of drinks and dinner for his compatriots like nothing ever happened. Someone in the chat put it best - "Bayban the bipolar." (The change in Lewis's voice as he plays the character is what really makes it hilarious.)

"Spoony (as Viktor): (Russian accent) You Already Changed the Past. (British accent) I'm British now."
 * Spoony's girly little shrieks as the Princess/Queen are not to be missed.
 * When Garrett spooks his horse, Lord Kat asks "Have you tried not having your soul infected by a goddess?"
 * At the start of one session, Y Ruler of Time was running late, Lord Kat asked a British friend to fill in and play Viktor in the meantime. When Y finally shows up, the guys have a good bit of fun over the whole thing.

"Lordkat: How much XP do I get for starting the Third Reich?"
 * After Grae suggests cutting off the tips of all the Elves' ears during the race riot, the rest of the players exaggerate it into him beginning the Elven Holocaust.