Once Killed a Man with A Noodle Implement

"This trope once killed a man with a pair of galoshes."

"This trope once killed a man with a harmonica."

"This trope once killed a man with a bowl of chicken soup!"

"This trope once killed a man with a bottle of Elmer's and some construction paper!"

"Yeah? Well this trope once killed a man...with a noodle!"

Few things can establish one's Badass cred quite like claiming to have killed someone with something no one would think of as a weapon of any sort, let alone a lethal one.

Compare Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon and Improvised Weapon.

A Badass Trope. Can also be a Stock Phrase.

Anime and Manga
"Germany: I once killed a man using a grape and his own mustache."
 * Used in the English dub of Axis Powers Hetalia, when Germany is angry with Italy for sleeping late.


 * Dabura in "Dragonball Z" can turn people to stone with his spit then smashing them.
 * Lina's sister Luna Inverse from The Slayers is often said to have slain a dragon with a butter knife.
 * Any of the Paper Masters in Read or Die can kill you with a papercut. Only one of them actually does, though.

Comic Books
"Bullseye: They keep me on a liquid diet and stool softeners because they're afraid if I have a solid bowel movement I'd kill someone with it. And I would, too. Just to say I did it."
 * Being both an Improbable Weapon User and a Psycho for Hire, Bullseye has used pretty much every weapon available, including toothpicks and his own teeth.


 * Actually happens in Michael Fleisher's In Name Only sequel to Harlem Heroes when Slice kills a man by throwing his ID card at his throat.
 * One Punisher mook is called Ink because he killed a man with a pen. Subverted in that they describe, in great detail, how it happened.

Film
"Agent #1: You know, I can kill you with anything in this room. You wanna die by Post-It notes? Agent #2: And that's a slow death."
 * In The Chronicles of Riddick, upon coming across several guys menacing his friend Kyra, Riddick threatens to kill the ringleader with a teacup. And he does it. As the dead guy's friends stare in disbelief, he takes out a sardine can key, and sets it, slowly and meaningfully, on a nearby rock, then gives them a look that clearly says, "Who's next?"
 * The two Jerkass agents in Get Smart once threatened this.


 * In The Glimmer Man, Steven Seagal's character kills a man with a credit card.
 * The protagonist of Grosse Pointe Blank once killed the President of Paraguay with a fork.
 * In Ratatouille, one of the chefs at Gusteau's is said to have served time in prison, but he never tells the same story about why he went to jail twice. One of his claims is that he "killed a man...with this thumb!"; we never know for sure, but simply showing that thumb to Skinner is enough to scare him off.
 * John Wick killing "three men in a bar... with a pencil, with a fucking pencil" is one of the iconic lines of the franchise. In the second film he is shown killing someone with one.

Literature

 * In the literary chronicle by Truman Capote, In Cold Blood, Dick Hyckock decided to ask Perry Smith to help him with his "hit" because Perry told him that once he killed a black man by hitting him with a bicycle chain, "just for fun".

Live-Action TV
"Spike: I had a wee spat with a werewolf myself once. Fought for over an hour. Brutal, vicious. Almost lost my - Fred: Angel killed him with a pen."
 * 3rd Rock from the Sun: "I should warn you that I have killed men with everything from a steak knife, to a penny dropped from a skyscraper!"
 * In the first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy mentions having once killed a vampire using only an exacto knife.
 * She also uses a pencil once, somewhere along the line.
 * And this bit from Angel:

"Eliot Spencer: She'd mop the floor with you, Hardison Alec Hardison: I don't care. Eliot Spencer: Seriously, she actually killed a guy once with a mop. It's a funny story, actually. She broke the mop and took..."
 * Leverage has Elliot describe a fellow hitter doing this. Elliot himself has also killed a man with an appetizer and another with a nerf sword.

"Ziva David: And plastic silverware is not as safe as you may think. I once killed a man with a credit card."
 * On NCIS, Ziva David boasted that she can kill a man with a paperclip. And from the episode "Jet Lag":


 * In the same episode, she also states earphone cables could serve as a garrotte.
 * There's no way, the cables snaps before you can get enough pressure to cut off air.
 * In Xena: Warrior Princess, assassin Sinteres is said to be deadly with any weapon. King of Thieves Autolycus, posing as Sinteres, has to demonstrate this by killing a man with a thrown toothpick.

Newspaper Comics
"Uncle Ruckus: Jean-Claude Van Damme's the best martial artist in the world. He killed a man with his butt cheek power."
 * The Boondocks episode "Granddad's Fight":


 * In an early Dilbert strip, Dilbert unintentionally killed the president of his company with an ear of corn when the other guy started a food fight. Dilbert apparently threw the corn hard enough to knock him out and he drowned in his soup. Later in jail, Dilbert's burly cellmate asks him why he's stuck there. Dilbert tells him that he killed a man with an ear of corn after being provoked. Cue the cellmate's Oh Crap expression when they get corn on the cob for lunch.

Oral Tradition
"There are 1,214 objects in an average room that Chuck Norris can kill you with, including the room itself."
 * Balor from Celtic Mythology could kill people just by looking at them with his dreaded Eye.
 * Many Chuck Norris Facts.

Tabletop Games

 * In Nomine ' s Malakim of Creation are designed to do this, with their ability to turn anything into a weapon. "Greeting Cards of Doom" is a common phrase on the publisher's forum for the game.

Video Games

 * Dwarf Fortress: Someone once killed a bronze colossus by throwing a fluffy wambler at its head.
 * In Half-Life 2: Episode 2, a Rebel-in-Training at the White Forest Base (also called the AR3 Guy) first claims to have used AR3s (which don't exist), then claims to have killed Hunters (alien tripod cyborgs that are rather deadly) "with his own hands."
 * Professor Mordin from Mass Effect 2 once killed somebody with "farming equipment."
 * Later revealed, according to the Shadow Broker's file on him, to be a pitchfork through a charging Krogan's eye.

Web Animation
"Tucker: How do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible. Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming. Flashback!Jimmy: This doesn't seem physically possible!"
 * Red vs. Blue: Church relates how Tex once beat a man to death with his own skull.

Web Comics

 * Azrael from the webcomic Life and Death once killed Cthulhu with a gopher and a damp sponge.

Western Animation
"Dean: Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time, I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps! Triana: Did the guy's head get blown off? Dean: Yes it did"
 * In Dan Vs. "The Salvation Armed Forces," Dan tells his friend Chris that the bell ringer knows twelve ways to kill a man with a bell. Chris thinks about it, but can only come up with one.
 * Futurama: Roberto to Bender: "You ever killed a man with a sock? It ain't so hard..."
 * The Venture Brothers: Rusty Venture once killed a man with a housekey. His father forced him to. He was ten.

Real Life

 * An elderly woman repelled two robbers (who were carrying axes) by whacking them with her handbag.