Bond Villain Stupidity/Quotes

"Dr. Evil: All right, guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism! *mechanism starts* Close the tank! Scott: Wait, aren't you even gonna watch them? They could get away! Dr. Evil: No. I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan, why? Scott: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out! We can do it together, it'll be fun! Dr. Evil: Scott... You just don't get it, do you. You don't."

- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

""Mr. Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you.""

- Hugo Drax, the villain from Moonraker

"Senor Senior Sr: A proper villain always leaves his foe when he's about to expire. Senor Senior Jr: Why? Senor Senior Sr: Well, it would be bad form just to lull about, waiting for it. Senor Senior Jr: Why? Senor Senior Sr: Tradition!"

- Kim Possible, "Animal Attraction"

"Anyhoo, as one of the Minions poses with Gadget for a picture, he puts some sort of homing beacon on Gadget’s hat. This makes it so that Claw can control Gadget’s every move; Claw forces Gadget to do things like throw his Coke and fries everywhere. Instead of, say, forcing Gadget to say “Go-Go Gadget Handgun” and shoot himself in the face, thus ridding himself of Gadget and ridding me of this shit-ass movie. Nope, Claw forces Gadget to squirt mustard everywhere and...break dance?"

- Matt Briner in his review of Inspector Gadget 2

""Do you ever notice how bad guys always leave at these critical moments? Oh well." (leaves)"

- Dr. Gene Splicer, Tiny Toon Adventures, "Hare Raising Night"

""Now untie him, Wormtail, and give him back his wand.""

- Lord Voldemort on Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"Q. But... when he has her alone, why doesn't he just shoot her or stab her or something? Instead of trying to shoot down the plane when she's on board? And then the next day, he tries to bomb the plane. Wouldn't it be simpler if... A. Nothing is simple, Penrod; you do not buy a woman dinner in Paris only to shoot or stab her."

- Roger Ebert, review of The Concorde--Airport '79

"(Mother Brain is spinning out of control and is vulnerable) Kevin: Into the Warp Zone! It's too dangerous to finish her off! Nostalgia Critic: We're contractually obligated to keep stalling for three more seasons!"

- The Nostalgia Critic on Captain N.

"Jafar chortles with glee as he orders Aladdin's death for the second time, and this go-round it HAS to stick because everybody is chained up. He's so happy about it, he changes into Jasmine again the morning of the execution to reveal his true identity to Aladdin RIGHT before he loses his head, won't that be poetic? In doing this, he leaves the room, and ten thousand defeated villains screamed in agony from Hades, "ARE WE ALL DOOMED TO REPEAT THAT MISTAKE FOREVER??""

- Peter Paltridge, reviewing The Return of Jafar