Beardy Bastards



""Newsflash... *%@?** has hit the fan!""

- Thekki, "Chapter 1: Bug out"

Beardy Bastards: a dwarf story with axes, beer and a lot of grumbling... but in space?

In a far future where humanity has colonized huge parts of the galaxy their gazes are greedily locked even further at the distant stars. Grand schemes are unfolding on a galactic scale and epic wars are waged that effect untold billions... but some parts of humanity are ignored or simply forgotten.

One such part of humanity are a collection of planets at the galactic core. Mostly consisting of cold giants of stone and metal with raging and lifeless surfaces.

Descendants of miner settlers still survive here in underground settlements. The harsh conditions and high gravity of these planets has slowly changed these tough settlers. Short and stocky of build and rough of character to match the conditions they live in.

And while they live dangerous and hard-working lives they are generally content to be ignored by the rest of humanity. Considering themselves safe in their underground strongholds from outside interference -- or so they think.

You can find it here. There is also a "safe for work" domain name for your convenience as well. The term "bastards" seems to give some people trouble here and there… weird huh?


 * Alien Invasion: “No alien threat has ever penetrated our defenses. In a worst case scenario we’ll have weeks to prepare for any actual conflict.” High Command -Official report 2.055.14
 * Artistic License Gun Safety: The author admits holding and using a flamethower like this would be stupid in real life. But hey, Rule of Cool!
 * Genius Bruiser: Thekki is a geologist, Stromni is a retired bio-engineer, and Brokk is a mining engineer. In fact, only one member of the cast is a (retired) soldier by trade.
 * Fire-Breathing Weapon: Lokhar demonstrates his here.
 * Insectoid Aliens: AKA Fearless alien killing machines intent on devouring you whole! Welcome then and eat some lead! BLAM BLAM BLAM!
 * Older Is Better: Duh. That’s typical dwarven spirit. Like “The internet has grown soft and feeble! In my younger days I could use all the naughty words I wanted to, damn it! *grumble* ”
 * Rule of Cool: Lampshaded here.
 * Shout-Out: The commentary for this page implies the webcomic got started up from the concept of the Squat species of Warhammer 40000... if the bolt pistol in the picture for this page didn't make you wonder anyway.
 * Shouting Shooter: Lokhar with his flamethrower here.