Pandaemonium

Novel by Scottish author Christopher Brookmyre, published 2009.

Pandaemonium is Brookmyre's 13th novel, it's a stand alone and it's a bit different from his other works. That being said the style and tone is still very much recognizable as being Brookmyre's.

Somewhere secluded in Scotland, the U.S Army is carrying out a top-secret military experiment which has led to such astounding results they've called on the Vatican itself for advice and support: They fear they may literally have opened the gates to hell. The project's scientists, however, are not impressed with this explanation and even less impressed with the clergy taking control, and discord abounds.

In the meantime a busful of Scottish teenagers and their put upon teachers are heading for the area's outdoor activity center where they will (officially) be spending the weekend therapeutically coming to terms with a fellow student having murdered a class mate before commiting suicide, or (realistically) gossiping, partying and getting drunk and high on what they've smuggled along and (optimistically) getting laid. The teens think the greatest challenges they will face this weekend are finding someone to hook up with, avoiding teacher detection and interference, avoiding ending up rooming with someone undesirable and avoiding aggravating Big Kirk. They are, of course, very much mistaken.


 * Abandoned Area
 * Adrenaline Makeover:
 * Armoured Closet Gay:
 * Asshole Victim:  is among the first of the kids to be killed off.
 * Big Damn Heroes: Twice. First, there's  Second is
 * Break Out the Museum Piece: Bows and arrows.
 * Break the Badass: Kirk Burns is terrified after his first brush with the enemy. And this is the guy the nerd and closest-thing-to-a-main-character Adnan classified thusly: Warrior Class: Undisputed Best Fighter. Status: Fucking Mental. Strength: Hard As Fuck. Weakness: None Documented.
 * Break the Haughty:  loses her mind after encountering a demon, and tells everyone who will listen that they are doomed, or are already dead and being punished in the afterlife.
 * Can't Act Perverted Toward a Love Interest: Rocks aka Paul Roxburgh.
 * Class Trip
 * Cool Teacher: Stewart Kane - can also be the Stern Teacher.
 * Exotic Weapon Supremacy: Sort of. Nothing arcane but
 * Facing the Bullets One-Liner:
 * Fartillery: Beansy. adly not used against the demons, despite there being a flamethrower on hand.
 * Fridge Brilliance: Kirk doesn't join in when Rocks and Dazza are discussing girls.
 * Gaydar:
 * Gayngst:
 * The Generic Guy: Four girls: Michelle, Roisin, Carol-Ann and Ruth. Adnan refers to their clique as Mostly Harmless.
 * Genius Bruiser: Well, probably not an actual genius but
 * Girl Posse: Referred to by Adnan as Back-Biting Bitches.
 * Grievous Harm with a Body: One demon uses  as a weapon to kill
 * I Know Mortal Combat: Adnan, only it was Doom.
 * Man On Fire: Happens in the beginning - not very fatal.
 * Non-Giving-Up-School Guy: The deputy head Dan Guthrie. He tries very hard for Stern Teacher but this doesn't work out well.
 * Now or Never Kiss:
 * Punch Clock Villain: Rocks and Dazza are both sick of the reputations they've gained from hanging around Kirk for so long, and are wary of his growing obsession with Matt.
 * Redemption Equals Death: How Deputy Dan sees his Heroic Sacrifice.
 * Sequel Hook:
 * Took a Level in Badass: Several characters, most noticeably Kirk and Rosemary.
 * Wild Teen Party: Of course.