Beware the Nice Ones/Quotes

""If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you're going to die. So they'll talk. They'll gloat. They'll watch you squirm. They'll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.""

- Samuel Vimes

""A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.""

- Lana Turner

""There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.""

- Kvothe

""Ang mabait, pag magalit, malupit.""

- Old Filipino saying

""I'm sure you're not threatening the younglings. Because you really don't want to see me angry. And I think you're smart enough to know that. But if you want to try me, go ahead and make that threat.""

- Luke Skywalker

""Something so innocent can not be good.""

- Tate

""You might call them soft, because they're very reluctant to kill, and they might agree with you, but they're soft the way the ocean is soft, and, well; ask any sea captain how harmless and puny the ocean can be.""

- Zakalwe

""Bored now.""

- Willow just before flaying Warren alive

""Jacob is way too nice a guy for the number of ways he knows how to kill people.""

- Jeff "Joker" Moreau

""Is Wayne Brady going to have come up there and choke a bitch?""

- Wayne Brady

""... and the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.""

- Witches Abroad on Magrat Garlic

""BURN.""

- Superman loses it.

""I'm in a bad mood, understand?""

- Rhinox on Dinobot picking a very bad time to argue about the chain of command, Beast Wars

""When kind men grow angry, things are about to change.""

- Harry Dresden, Blood Rites

""In five years we'll either be working for him, or dead by his hand.""

- Jack Donaghy on Kenneth, 30 Rock

""I always give a chocolate bar to that quiet guy at work. that way, when he goes on a rampage with a shotgun, all he does to me is say; 'Thanks for the candyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...' ""

- Dane Cook

""...At the end, the bear had his guts eaten out by the hound dogs of this smart mouse. This movie has to be rated mature. I couldn't move out of fear even after the credits. I thought Kouri might have fainted, but she actually looked like she had just finished watching an epic movie. That was the first time I feared this girl.""

- Brass Restoration

""He never raised his voice, that was the worst thing. The fury of the Time Lord. And then we discovered why, why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he'd run away from us and hidden. He was being kind. He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star. He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy, to be imprisoned there forever. He still visits my sister, once a year, every year. I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is, can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror. Every mirror. If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you, just for a second, that's her. That's always her. As for me, I was suspended in time, and the Doctor put me to work standing over the fields of England as their protector. We wanted to live forever. So the Doctor made sure that we did.""

- The Son, Doctor Who, "Family Of Blood"

"''"Now, let me just make something clear -- I'm ordinarily a very kind-hearted person. For instance, on the occasion when my little sister took my favorite scarf and tried to wrap it around Shamisen as a joke, and Shamisen, entirely unimpressed by the whole affair, responded as any cat would by flailing tooth and claw in every direction until the scarf was reduced to an unidentifiable mess of wool and fibre, I was understanding enough to let the both of them off with no worse than a poke to the forehead. That's just the kind of guy I am. When you've managed to drive a guy like that into a proper rage, you know things are getting serious."''"

- Kyon, Haruhi Suzumiya

""I had thought you peculiarly free from wilfulness of temper, self-conceit, and every tendency to that independence of spirit which prevails so much in modern days, even in young women, and which in young women is offensive and disgusting beyond all common offence. But you have now shewn me that you can be wilful and perverse; that you can and will decide for yourself, without any consideration or deference for those who have surely some right to guide you, without even asking their advice. You have shewn yourself very, very different from anything that I had imagined.""

- Sir Thomas, Mansfield Park

"Pimp: My back's all froze up! I can't feel nothin'! Aaaa Argh..! ... would you please help me, bitch? Posey: ...ok, where does it hurt? Andy: Posey, No! What are you doing!? Pimp: Lower... oh yes! oooH, much better! So that's legitimate massage huh? Who knew! Posey:  Pimp: Aaaaah!  Ow... Andy: What the hell was that about? Posey: I didn't want him to fall off the roof and not feel it."

- Mission Hill

""Always I try to be reasonable, to be fair. I try to talk to people. And no one ever takes it as anything other than weakness. You listen to me try to be civilized and you think, 'Oh, he's nothing.' 'Him we can ignore.' 'Him we can push around.' 'We can do whatever we want -- he won't stop us!' Because nobody ever takes me seriously -- unless I shout and threaten like a cut-rate stage villain." "Well, you know what? I can do crazy. I really can. And it looks like I'm going to have to. Agatha is in danger. This whole town is in danger. If I'm going to be able to help her at all, it looks like I'm going to have to give up all this 'being reasonable' garbage -- and show you idiots what kind of a madboy you're really dealing with!""

- Gilgamesh Wulfenbach while beating up a supersoldier despite serious injuries, Girl Genius

"Gil: You knew me at school, and perhaps don't take me very seriously. That would be a mistake. You must understand this. When I come to her, she will be safe, unharmed, and free. Because I will come to her, and if she is not... I will destroy "Her Undying Majesty", I will melt what is left of your miserable island to slag, and boil the seas around you for the next thousand years! Wooster: You... you couldn't! Gil: Couldn't? Couldn't?! I am Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, little man! And there is nothing I couldn't do, had I cause. And now... now I have one."

- Girl Genius

"Lucy's a goth chick Spit in the face of a jock at the mosh pit Then the kid lost it Saw her at the mall in the local Hot Topic Her boyfriend was picking out a new chain wallet Lucy's all talk She really ain't got no heart for a fight She'd rather see an art show Beat her face down until she looked like a Picasso Even ripped the ring out her boyfriend's nostril Brother's outside Smoking on a Newport Heard about his sister Running through the food court Ran right over the dude from the shoe store Rumored that he jumped down two floors, ooh lord! Came right up behind him The kid didn't see him! I never seen that look on another human being"

- That Handsome Devil, Viva Discordia

"The Hellish Handbook is a very short thing, as very few demons have the patience or the actual caring to write down rules for others to follow. As such, it has two orders, scrawled on a piece of paper that is tacked outside Lucifer's office: 1. Don't defy me. I'm not sure what punishment could be worse than what you're already going through Down Here, but I'm more than willing to find out. And 2. LEAVE THE NICE ONES ALONE. Seriously. It's for your own good. (See? And you guys think I don't care. Okay, I don't, but I don't want you dying all over the place. It gets old.)"

"There are two very good reasons for the second rule. The first is that Really Nice People tend to have a "But I will destroy you should you press me too far" clause attached that makes messing with them a Bad Idea. Aziraphale is an example of this. However, Raphael is not -- he has become such a Really Nice Person that he has gone beyond the clause. The second reason is that Really Nice People tend to have Really Good Friends."

- Manchester Lost

""You seem more docile than I imagined. Or is that the kind of kid you have to look out for nowadays?""

- Namie Yagiri, Durarara!!

""Because if someone gets angry all the time, it's really no big deal. But when someone usually doesn't get angry, it's scary.""

- Takashi Kamiyama, Cromartie High School

""Your kind always underestimates ours. You mistake good manners for timidity. You mistake self-control for passivity. So self controlled are we that we that sometimes we won't retaliate if you harm us. But if you -- any of you -- harm our loved ones, we will come at you like fanged, slavering beasts from the darkest of LSD nightmares. Believe it.""

- Rik Oberf to Keith Feddyg, Fans

"Black: What the hell man! I thought you were supposed to be the nice one! Sam: What can I say? Every single person I know is a bad influence."

- Sam and Fuzzy

"Demons run when a good man goes to war Night will fall and drown the sun, when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies, Night will fall and the dark will rise When a good man goes to war."

- Proverb (quoted by River Song), Doctor Who, "A Good Man Goes to War"

"Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules. The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many."

- Doctor Who, "A Good Man Goes to War"

""DO NOT FUCK WITH THE CULTURE""

- Intergalactic Proverb, The Culture

""The important thing about this ideal is the double demand it makes on human nature. The knight is a man of blood and iron, a man familiar with the sight of smashed faces and the ragged stumps of lopped off limbs; he is also a demure, almost maidenlike, guest in hall, a gentle, modest, unobstrusive man. He is not a compromise or happy mean between ferocity and meekness; he is fierce to the Nth and meek to the Nth...""

- The Necessity of Chivalry by C. S. Lewis

"''"You... are going... to LOVE ME!!!"' '"

- Fluttershy, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

""I appreciate that you're my employer, and an old man besides... but if you don't take your goddamn hands off me I will break you in HALF.""

- Dell Conagher (The Engineer), Team Fortress 2

"The junior officers at the Funkabwehr were extremely put out by this turn of events. It was at its heart rude. Had they known, of course that it was the Poles that had sent their leader from the room they would have thrown up their hands in angry recognition. What could you expect. But the British were different: Aryan, Northern, blessed with certain German virtues-honor in friendship and love of learning. ...The British were in fact a bit worse than the Poles. But they would not find that out for some time."

- German cops in World War 2 discover a bomb left for them, a trick which of course the British would never do. From The Polish Officer by Alan Furst