Donald Duck/Funny

Alive since 1934 and still at it...Disney's Bible dictates: "Duck does not live by rage alone; he must have a laugh for every groan!"

Carl Barks' Comics
"Donald: Goodbye, boys! I'm going to lock myself in the broom closet and stay there for the rest of my life!
 * Donald's angst in "Gladstone's Luck", AKA "Golf Luck"

Don's nephews: It's Gladstone Glander that makes you notice your bad luck! He makes everyone feel like jumping off a cliff!

Donald: Go away and let me enjoy my misery!"

"Daisy: Why, spank them, of course! Be firm with them, but don't show anger!
 * It Makes Sense in Context, sure, yet...
 * "Donald Tames His Temper". Using her purse, Daisy sweetly convinces Don of keeping his cool by bashing his skull against the floor. When his nephews take excellent advantage of their uncle's softened self, it's not long before the Duck's Berserk Button is finally pushed beyond what he's willing to tolerate, so he calls his girlfriend for advice:

Donald: Glory be! Then it's okay to whale the BLAZES out of 'em - If I do it with a smile!"

"Donald: Nice leaky roof yah got there, Jonesie, ol' snake!
 * Yoo Hoo, boys! Come and have a pleasant chat with 'ol unca' Donald!...The whole last page, natch.
 * Any given story that pits Donald against Neighbor Jones. For instance, that time were they agreed to address each other with impeccable manners; in this scene, they do just that.

Jones: No leakier than yours, Duckie, ol' louse!

Donald: I wonder how your oriental rugs are standing this?

Jones: They're standing it better than your collection of rare books!"

"Under this mighty tree of shade...I'll sit and sip my lemonade...''"
 * Donald planting a two-dollar sapling in "Gopher Goof-Ups" and eloquently envisioning the future:

"Oh, me! Oh, my! I've spent ALL of my money, and there's nothing in the house to eat but a can of BEANS! This is a TRAGEDY worse than the burning of Rome!"
 * In "Turkey with all the schemings", a hungry Don looks around his kitchen on Christmas Day, only to discover the awful truth:

Don Rosa's Comics
"I don't know from alliteration or simile, but if you lazy little loafers don't get to school I'll peel you like spuds!"
 * Don's obsession with singing "Lydia the Tatooed Lady" in Don Rosa's "The Treasury of Croesus"
 * In "Metaphorical Spanking", the nephews complain about having to study stylish writing techniques such as "alliteration" or "simile". Their uncle puts them on their place:

"Donald: Admit it -- they got the best of both you old birds. And now you have something in common with them.
 * The ending of "Return to Plain Awful," land of all things square-shaped:

Scrooge: Like what?

Donald: Well, they made their billion by being tougher than the toughies and smarter than the smarties. And you know what else...

Scrooge: Oh, no, nephew, don't say it! Please!

Donald: ... They made it SQUARE!"

Film

 * Fantasia 2000: When Donald finally realizes just how screwed up the laws of the Disney universe can.
 * Who Framed Roger Rabbit: The entire Donald vs. Daffy nightclub battle, but particularly when Donald rises from his piano armed with a cannon and a (literally) devilish grin on his face.

Classic Disney Shorts
"THAT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL!"
 * "Orphan's Benefit" marks the first time Donald shows off his famed temperament, and it's a sight to behold. He also manages to survive a surprising number of bricks to the head.
 * Sure, The Band Concert may be billed as a Mickey Mouse cartoon, but Donny steals the show as far as comedy is concerned, playing a moderated Screwy Squirrel whose never ending supply of fifes drives Mick crazy!
 * In "Donald's Snow Fight", there's a scene where the nephews fire a snowball at their uncle, knocking his pompous captain's hat off and leaving him with a ridiculous hairdo. He's not amused.

"Crowd Member: "Ah, the guy's yellow!"
 * Gollum has nothing on Don's absolute lust for gold in "Donald's Gold Mine". Here.
 * "Sea Salts". Donald cannot reach a coconut's meat, so he urges his companion Bootle Beetle to retrieve it for him. The beetle goes inside of the coconut, ignores Don's hunger and has a feast. Don catches on, and demands to receive the remaining piece a.s.a.p. Said piece is too big to fit through the coconut's holes, so Bootle bites the sides so it gets smaller, to the point it becomes a pathetic, minuscule piece. Aware of his comrade's temper, he shrugs at the audience, throws the piece through the hole, and covers his ears. Cue Donald's furious squawking. Here.
 * In the same short, a now-elderly Donald learns he can't dance anymore...The hard way.
 * "Clown of the Jungle", featuring Donald vs. the Aracuan Bird. Basically the closest thing to a Tex Avery short to ever come out of Disney.
 * In "Canvas Back Duck" Donald is roped into boxing "Peewee" Pete.

Nephew: "He is not!"

Donald: "I am too. Let's go home.""


 * "Donald's Tire Trouble". The entire short is just watching Donald change a flat tire, but you'd be surprised how much his Hair Trigger Temper makes it into such a huge ordeal. It gets especially funny when Donald gets trapped inside the tire.
 * And when all four tires go flat, well...''

House of Mouse

 * "Music Store Donald". The titular Duck and Pete ask Daisy about her opinion on romantic music. She sings 'effin Pop Goes To Weasel, and Donald's reaction is priceless.
 * Donald's sublime source of help for Mickey in "Mickey's April Fools". Takes place between 3:35 and 4:01.
 * "Double Date Don" is loaded. Let's see...Donald's innocent dream when Daisy asks him if he'll do anything she wants, Clara Cluck deluding herself thinking of Don as Mr. Fanservice, the duck's eyes being raped at the sight of a "sensual" Clara, and last but no least Clara's attempted suicide and Donald's not-so-heroic motivations for rescuing her.

Disneyland

 * Donald's small role in Disneyland's "Mars & Beyond".

Walt Disney World

 * In Mickey's Philharmagic, how does a little flute decide to make Donald miserable? By playing The Mickey Mouse Club March. Over. And over. And over.

Non Official Work

 * Right Wing Radio Duck. AKA Donald Duck meets Glenn Beck. Brilliant editing of several Classic Disney Shorts along with the right cues from Don and Glenn result in a political cartoon that plays out wonderfully. Don't miss this one!
 * Oh, by the way, before you even ask, yes, Glenn Beck has seen this video. His reaction... Pretty much what you'd expect it to be.