Fake Static

""Bzzzt, Bzzzt you're breaking up" (hangs up) "Thank God that call's over.""

"Goku: Click-buuuuuuuuuuur (takes a breath) uuuuuuuuuuuurrrrr....

King Kai: He hung up on me! How did he even do that?!"

- King Kai wondering how Goku hung up on a telepathic conversation in DBZ Abridged.

The predictable but surprisingly effective method of ending a Cell Phone conversation in TV land -- pretend there is interference on the line or that you are going through a tunnel, make some static noises and start saying "I can't hear you!" then hang up. Person avoided.

When trying this on a fixed-line phone, tradition requires you to press and release the switch in the phone cradle rapidly and repeatedly.

Sometimes subverted when the other person can blatantly tell what they are doing, or calls them back immediately.

Alternate variant is to have a character claim that they "lost the connection" while communicating via satellite, radio, or Subspace Ansible.

Contrast Can You Hear Me Now, I Can't Hear You.

Advertisiing

 * Used in a 2010 commercial for Discover Card. Bobby Bowden calls up "USA Prime Credit" to dispute chargers and gets Peggy, who eventually rustles some paper and tells him that he's breaking up. Bowden tells him "I'm not too old to find you, son."

Fan Works
"Serena: What's that? I can't hear you! kkkkkkkkkkch You're breaking up!
 * In Dragonball Z Abridged, Goku does this to King Kai, during a telepathic phone call. King Kai tries to call Goku back but ends up getting George Takei instead.
 * In Sailor Moon Abridged, Serena attempts this... on a videophone.

Amy: Serena, I can see you!

Serena: ...No you can't."

Films -- Animation

 * Toy Story 2: Al claims to be going through a tunnel while talking to Mr. Konishi.

Films -- Live Action
"Aide: Sir, General Alexander has heard we're moving west. He says here, "Stop immediately. Go no farther than Agrigento. Repeat. Stop, immediately."
 * In the 1997 The Parent Trap, Hallie does this to Annie when she is unwilling to believe that her father is going to marry Gold Digger Meredith.
 * In Star Wars: A New Hope, Han Solo claims his radio is malfunctioning when trying (and failing) to pass as a Stormtrooper, then shoots it. Though in this case, he knows it didn't fool them ("Boring conversation anyway -- Luke, we're gonna have company!").
 * In Pee Wees Big Adventure, Pee-wee Herman did this to avoid having to ask Dottie out to the drive-in.
 * Patton:

Patton: That's what you think it says. I think it was garbled in transmission. Ask them to re-transmit the message. That'll take half a day at least."

"Cohaagen: Listen to me, Richter. I want Quaid delivered alive for reimplantation. Have you got that? I want him back in place with Lori. Did you hear me?
 * Total Recall:

Richter: What was that, sir? I couldn't hear you... Switching to another channel. I've got sunspots.

Cohaagen: Call him back!

Richter: I'm losing you."

"Who are you fooling with that phony radio bullshit? Jesus Christ, Frank, that went out three days after Marconi invented the fucking thing!"
 * In Star Trek VI the Undiscovered Country, the Enterprise does this to avoid being forced to return to Earth, so as to buy time to effect the rescue of Kirk and McCoy.
 * Denzel Washington gets a particularly hilarious example in Out of Time, where he yells "YOU'RE BREAKING UP!" at the top of his voice as he's stamping on the phone.
 * And he does it again in Unstoppable when his character, Frank Barnes, uses this tactic to end his conversation with Galvin before Galvin can order him not to try his plan to stop the train.
 * Blue Thunder. Officer Murphy has been ordered to fly the title helicopter back to the police airbase. He decides to do something else, so he repeatedly tells the tower that their transmission is garbled and he can't read them. His captain later calls him on it.

"Lone Starr: We'll do it for... a million.
 * In John Woo's Broken Arrow, Deacons' inside man on the warhead recovery team radioes his base while screaming in (fake) pain, while Deacons is shaving nearby. Deacons then actually holds the buzzing razor up to the microphone for a few seconds and the two share a chuckle.
 * Men in Black 2: Zed does this to Michael Jackson, when Michael brings up how he'd been promised a position in MIB.
 * A variant is done in the movie Heartbreakers. The person doing it isn't doing it to avoid someone, it's to get the person on the other end of the line to unknowingly volunteer information.
 * Used as psychological coercion in Spaceballs. While King Roland is trying to convince Lone Starr and Barf to rescue Princess Vespa:

King Roland: (outraged) A million!

Barf: (starts fiddling with dials) Oh, you're starting to fade here, we're losing picture your Highness...

King Roland: All right all right I'll pay it, only find her, save her!"


 * Waynes World: Wayne and his friends screwed with a fast food worker by only saying a couple syllables of each word in his order aloud. "I'd like 'rullers, 'ugar, 'ucks and a Mikita 'cup..." Subverted in that the Cashier was able to understand the order exactly.
 * In Real Steel, Charlie does this when he's on the phone with a man he owes money to.
 * The Brady Bunch Movie has Mr. Dittmeyer attempting to use this on his boss in the opening scene.

Literature

 * When playing for time in Lois McMaster Bujold's The Vor Game, Miles tells his communications officer, "I want you to think of yourself as a non-communications officer.... I want maximum inefficiency, incompetence, and error.... You've worked with trainees, surely. Be creative."
 * Stephanie Plum does this on several occasions. Once, Morelli tells her she needs to work on her static, because he can hear phlegm in the noise she's making.
 * Wraith Squadron has a pair of pilots rubbing their gloves on their mics to simulate the sound while disobeying orders. Their commander is frustrated, knowing that he's done that himself, but he can't stop them. Both contribute hugely to the success of the mission, but both also die.
 * Near the end of Porno, Sick Boy scrapes the grill of his phone's mouthpiece to fake static for this, so he doesn't have to argue with Begbie about returning to Leith for a card game. From Cannes.

Live Action TV

 * In Black Adder Goes Forth, the title character avoids battle orders from his sadistic superiors by pretending there is radio interference in the line leading to his unit's phone. (His "static charade" even goes so far as to include a rendition of "A Wandering Minstrel I" sung in a tinny Radio Voice.)
 * This causes an interesting little anachronism, as commercial radio and the radio weather forecast (both of whom Blackadder imitates) had not been invented yet at that point. Apparently, the static was so bad it was picking up interference from the future (Then again, it was hardly the most egregious anachronism ever to appear in the show).
 * The message was something about he had a lion up his end, so there's an advantage to an enema at once.
 * Subverted in one episode of The Smoking Room, when Sally uses the excuse of going into a tunnel to hang up on her mother, only to realize that her mother knows she's at work, so won't be fooled.
 * Friends does this one a few times, both with the tunnel excuse and various others (skip to 1:30).
 * In the pilot episode of In Plain Sight, Mary simulates a bad signal by holding her phone out the window of her moving car and shouting, "What? I'm losing you!"
 * Ezri Dax also tries this once in Star Trek Deep Space Nine, but her "static" sounds so ridiculous that Ben isn't fooled for a second. (Of course, any engineer could probably tell the difference even with a really good static impression.)
 * House: "Sorry, I'm about to lose you because I'm driving through a tunnel, in a canyon, on an airplane, while hanging up the phone."
 * In Scrubs, when Dr. Cox is trying to avoid his wife, she calls him while in the hospital. He picks it up, opens it, says, "I'm in a tunnel." and hangs up in the space of about a second.
 * Then when he finally answers her call, "Oh, for the love of...WHAT!!!?!?!"
 * Better Off Ted: Veronica uses this to get out of a conversation. She's not on the phone, the person she's talking to is right in front of her, but no one dares call her on it.
 * A Running Gag in Brazilian Sit Com A Grande Família. Whenever resident Mr. Vice Guy Agostinho is being chewed out via the phone (mostly while driving his taxi), he alternatively takes the phone far and closer to his face while complaining about tunnel interference before actually hanging up.
 * In the December 31 2002 episode of Royal Canadian Air Farce, an Al-Qaeda receptionist uses fake static to avoid speaking with the CEO of Nortel on the phone (even the Al-Qaeda Credit Union has standards!).
 * Spike pulls this on Angel after stealing his car
 * Pierce attempts this when he is unable to turn his phone off in Community episode "Introduction to Statistics".
 * Often in Burn Notice. An excellent example would be when Fiona's about to ask where a fake banker was dropped off, Michael tells her over the phone to be gentle on the human smuggler, over the phone, when she responds with "You're breaking up" and hangs up on him.

Pro Wrestling

 * John Morrison and The Miz attempt this on an episode of The Dirt Sheet in order to deal with WWE Diva Layla calling in and complaining about what they said about her dress. Unsurprisingly, considering that they tried this on someone who was apparently watching their show, it doesn't work.

Video Games

 * In Starcraft, Samir Duran claims interference when ordered to intercept an attacking Zerg force; his failure to act allowed Raynor and Mengsk to escape.
 * In Halo: OSDT, Sadie tries to do this to end the conversation with her father. Probably wouldn't have worked even if it wasn't video feed.
 * Used sarcastically in Mass Effect, where Shepard can cut off the Council, and Joker will remark "oops, lost the connection."
 * (S)he doesn't bother to make any fake static, but Renegade Shepard still shoots down The Illusive Man's attempt at a tirade after  with the line "I'm sorry, I can't quite hear you - I'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line". And, yes, (s)he can have Joker hang up on him.
 * In the third game, you can find Joker and Liara talking over intercom on the Normandy. After Joker slips up and tells Liara how Shepard used to hang up on the council, he immediately claims they're "going through some dark matter".
 * Modern Warfare: "I'm not asking you, this is an order! You're to--" *click* "Hm. Looks like we lost our connection."
 * A similar example in the new Medal of Honor reboot, made all the more awesome because the guy who decides to disconnect the call with the General Failure is an unnamed technician.
 * Parodied in Ratchet and Clank Up Your Arsenal. Ratchet tries to pull this trick during a call. He forgot the other guy could see him, though.
 * Spoofed in Saints Row the Third, with the Boss faking static after Kinzie tells him/her not to follow the truck carrying a supercomputer with a tank. Which s/he does anyway.

Web Comics
"General Loratrek: Next time we meet I will n—
 * Used in Darths and Droids, during their version of Attack of the Clones.
 * Communications Officer Skip Taylor of Legostar Galactica uses a variant when he "accidentally" hangs up on an antagonistic Remulen General

Skip: Whoops,hunguponhim,sorry.

Captain Bob Smith: No apology necessary, Lieutenant, I would have done it myself in a second"

"*dial tone*
 * During a "Life With Rippy" strip in Something Positive, Rippy (the artist's muse, who takes the form of an anthropomorphic razorblade) tries to call another muse, who doesn't want to talk to him. The other tells him to hold, and hangs up.

"Hey, Randy! He has the same hold tone your parents use! What do you call this song?"

"'The Gullibility Waltz'.""


 * The tunnel excuse is parodied in an early strip (NSFW) of Go Get a Roomie

Web Original
"Admiral: Can you think of any reason why I shouldn't court martial you right now?
 * During an SF Debris review of a Deep Space Nine episode, he wonders exactly how an Admiral would react to Benjamin Sisko's actions. It ends with...

Sisko: (static noises) Whats that sir? (static) You're breaking up! (static)

Admiral: Holo-communicator, Ben, I can see you making the noises right now."

Western Animation
"Driver: (faking static) You're... you're breaking up ... going through a ... unnel ... call...lat...
 * In Star Wars Clone Wars, Anakin claims the radio connection is breaking up when Obi Wan orders him not to pursue a Sith fighter alone.
 * Code Lyoko: Jérémie calls Jim, using the Supercomputer to disguise his voice as the principal's, to get him to release Ulrich and Odd. Jim falls for it, but then tries to discuss "a personal matter. It's about Suzanne Hertz..." Jérémie quickly blurts out, "Oh, it's a tunnel. We're about to get cut off!"
 * In an episode of The Fairly Odd Parents, Cosmo does this to distract Wanda from the fact that he's screwed up, resulting in an attack by intelligent roaches. Then the roaches swarm over him and he cries out, "Aah! This tunnel's itchy!"
 * Moltar does this to Space Ghost in Space Ghost Coast to Coast. Space Ghost calls him on it: "You're just making noises with your mouth!"
 * Justice League, "Eclipsed" -- Flash's absurdly sleazy agent does this to him.
 * Galatea is busy beating the crap out of Supergirl when her boss realizes Lex Luthor's treachery. Her boss tries to call off Galatea's attack, but she claims the signal is breaking up. Then she tells Supergirl it was a wrong number.
 * Bumblebee in Transformers Animated tried this once. When Prowl did this later Ratchet replies that Bumblebee's fake static was more believable.
 * Ron tried doing this in an early episode of Kim Possible; he might have pulled it off if he didn't drop the fake static in between every word of his otherwise complete sentence.
 * The Powerpuff Girls: Princess' limo driver tries to do this in the Christmas special when she asks him if she's naughty.

Princess: (leaning forward and knocking on his window) No, we're not! I'm in the car, you twit!"

"(Zap Brannigan commandeers the videophone from Kif)
 * Futurama: "Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch":

Zap: Well, well, well. Do my eyes believe me, or is that my bosomy swan, Leela?

Leela: Say again? You're breaking up. (throws the book she's reading at the videophone)"

"Bruce: (while crumpling a piece of newspaper) Uh, Barb, we're... going through the East... tunnel now. 'fraid... signal's breaking up. Talk later.
 * In the Batman the Animated Series movie Mystery of the Batwoman, Bruce is riding in his limousine with Tim, and talking on the phone with Barbara, who is away at college. When she begins grilling him about Batwoman and hinting that she wants to go out while she's in town for Spring Break, Bruce panics and resorts to pulling this on her.

Tim: Squeaked through again, didn't you?"


 * Jade of Jackie Chan Adventures has done this to Jackie more than once.
 * In the Dan Vs episode "The Animal Shelter," Dan does this to get out of a phone call with Elise. She gets annoyed that he isn't even bothering to make the noises, but is simply saying "crackle" and "buzz".
 * In the South Park episode, "A Ladder To Heaven", to cut off an interview with a pedophile, the news broadcasters hold up a cardboard test pattern with an image of TV static on it, shake it in front of the camera, and make static noises with their mouths.
 * Comes up twice in the Phineas and Ferb episode "One Good Scare Ought to Do It!" First, Candace calls her mom to bust her brothers, but ends up talking to her crush, Jeremy, instead and freaks out, crinkling a ball of paper to fake static, claiming the call is breaking up. Second, Candace calms herself down and calls Jeremy, only for his little sister to pick up the phone and pull the same trick on her, which Candace calls her out on.
 * Lagoon Boy tries to do this on the team psychic link in Young Justice. Nightwing immediately calls foul.

Real Life

 * Horatio Nelson did this in the 19th Century at the (naval) Battle of Copenhagen. When his superior ordered him to retreat, he "looked" for the signal by holding his telescope to his blind eye and said: "I really do not see the signal." He went on to win the battle.
 * The superior (Sir Hyde Parker) was expecting this, if Nelson was in condition to continue the battle. The order to retreat was given only to allow Nelson to keep his honor (and his life) if Nelson and his force were in no condition to continue the battle.
 * David Hackworth mentions in his memoir About Face, that he would do the "radio interference" bit fairly frequently. Usually by using an electric shaver.
 * This incident at Not Always Right.