World Wrestling Entertainment/Funny


 * Royal Rumble
 * WWE Raw

"DDP: How do you like it? How do you like fucking cookies in your bed?!
 * Mick Foley documented a great crowning moment of funny involving accusing the Rock of maybe proving Rocky DOES "suck" and Stone Cold Steve Austin talking about shrimp boats. One can read from pages 109 to 113 here. The follow-up on pages 117 to 120 is possibly even funnier.
 * Foley's books are always good for Crowning Moments of Funny. The Diamond Dallas Page cookie story from "Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks" is probably one of the best.

Foley: It's not the cookies that I mind. It's the fact that you're rubbing your naked ass all over me."

"Ozzy Osbourne: Buy that man a bra!
 * "YOU PRICKS! YOU LEFT ME ON A GAY BEACH!"
 * He once had an encounter with The Boogeyman. While Boogey ran through his entire shtick in front of Mick Foley, Foley just sat there, eating a Moon Pie, and was completely unfazed by Boogey.
 * "I like your poetry." "I like what you do to babies."
 * A performance art piece from Chris Masters.

(Jerry Lawler laughs)

Sharon Osbourne: Jerry, I loved him! Why'd you do that? He's gorgeous!

Jerry Lawler: ...you thought he was gorgeous?

Sharon Osbourne: Gorgeous, man!

Ranjin Singh: The Great Khali says he found that piece..."oddly mesmerizing."

Sharon Osbourne: I agree with you!"

"Booker T: I'm THE BOOKERMAN!
 * "Looooondon bridge is fallin' down....fallin' down...fallin' down.... I'm the BOOGEYMAN! And I'm comin', T'GETCHA!!"
 * One of the most overlooked moments during the controversial "Invasion" arc in 2001 were the skits involving Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, and Vince McMahon. First, on an episode of Raw, Austin and Vince each wore cowboy hats that Austin got, and as for Angle, Austin gave him a kiddie-sized cowboy hat. Then, on an episode of Smackdown, Austin sang "Kumbaya" and "I Am the Champion" (to the tune of Queen's "We Are the Champions") to Vince, and Angle tried to serenade both of them to "Jimmy Crack Corn", ending with "...and I've got Olympic Gold!"
 * And on that note (pardon the pun), there was the incident on Raw between Steve Austin and The Rock, culminating in a duet of "Margaritaville"...
 * And then there was an encore where the entire WCW/ECW Alliance (led by the Hollywood Tone Deaf Stephanie McMahon) sang a tribute song to their leader- Stone Cold Steve Austin- called "Wind Beneath Our Ring" (to the tune of "Wind Beneath My Wings"). The whole thing was So Bad It's Good, from the bit parts sang by individual WCW/ECW wrestlers (who were trying so damn hard to be noticed at this point) to the karaoke on the giant screen complete with a bouncing Steve Austin head. Angle then spoils the party for the Alliance by giving them a milk bath, from a milk truck, mocking Austin's Corporation beer bath from 1999.
 * Jim Ross: "The Billion Dollar Princess...has just become a Dairy Queen!"
 * The Invasion had quite a number of giggle-worthy skits buried underneath all the controversy. Other highlights included Shawn Stasiak constructing a booby trap using a bucket of sour milk (which inevitably backfired) and Booker T visiting a Hollywood movie studio in an attempt to replicate The Rock's then-recent success with The Scorpion King:

Receptionist: The Boogerman? I never saw that one, was it European?"

"Bubba Ray: SPIKE! GET THE TOWELS!"
 * The Rock and Chris Jericho riffing on each other. You with your unibrow and your "Just bring it!" Bring what? A vomit bag? A Fig Newton?
 * Chris Jericho has a lot of them, be it his list of 1,004 holds, his wonderful funny ring announcing for a Cruiserweight Battle Royal, his many, many digs at Stephanie McMahon, or the way he mercilessly lampooned Bill Goldberg's entrance.
 * Then there's the time the Dudleyz stole Christian and Jericho's bags and made them chase them all over the arena. Capped off with the towel-clad Christian and Jericho at the top of the ramp, Bubba Ray & D-Von in the ring, and the immortal line:

""Bring forth...THE HONK-A-METER!""
 * Chris Jericho "Ortonizes" his promo. Say it with him now: ME! WANT! TITLE! MATCH!
 * Chris Jericho doesn't know Santino Marella's name.
 * Kurt Angle: SCREW YOUR BOOBS
 * Santino is the walking, talking, living, breathing embodiment of the Crowning Moment of Funny. From mispronunciations of wrestler names to generally being unafraid to completely make an ass out of himself, he is the personification of this trope. And when teamed up with "The Glamazon" Beth Phoenix, he's even funnier. But his Crowning Moment is most definitely:

"Santino: My eyes are up here, I am NOT a piece of meat!"
 * And then there's:

"Kane: Where...is...Punk?
 * Beth Phoenix has picked up a couple since getting with Santino as well, most notably this: Stop kicking yourself, Melina!
 * When Kane was backstage searching for CM Punk, he happened upon Santino:

Santino: Have you tried the Pepsi machine?"

""Any man who hides behind a mask is either incredibly ugly... incredibly stupid oooor... or is THE BATMAN!!!!""
 * Yet another Crowning Moment of Funny for Santino: Attempting Melina's (in)famous split ring entrance. Bonus CMoF for Beth near the end.
 * Just when you thought it was safe to watch Raw, Santino brings out...the Mankini!
 * To say nothing of Santino's performance at Royal Rumble 2009. As one YouTuber put it: "The Warlord can rest easy knowing Santino did him a favor."
 * At an overseas house show in 2009, there was a 15-man battle royal. When Santino comes face to face with Triple H and John Cena and figures out he doesn't have a chance in hell of eliminating them, he eliminates himself instead.
 * Note The Big Show's reaction as it happens...
 * And also note that one Cody Rhodes suddenly appears from under Show's humonguous backside after being hidden for a full 45 SECONDS.
 * He probably should have done the same thing at Royal Rumble 2008, when he entered the ring with TheUndertaker and ShawnMichaels already fighting each other.
 * Santino is invited to do commentary on a match, and ends up stealing Jerry Lawler's Subway Sandwich. Considered by some to be THE Crowning Moment of Funny for a man who busts them out on a regular basis.
 * There was that time where he somehow beat up The Sandman. He tries to add insult to injury by breaking Sandman's kendo stick over his knee... only to hurt himself.
 * There was the moment he told Rey Mysterio Jr there were only three reasons someone would wear a mask.

""If you guys are 'The Corre', then allow me to present to you: The APPLE! 'Allied People Powered by Loathing Everything that you stand for.'""
 * Also, there was his angle with Stone Cold where, at one point Santino declared various Stone Cold moments would not be happening (glass breaking, can of "asswhip", stomping of mudpie) and finished by saying "JR is not going to reach the point of orgasm. The non-verbal reaction from JR was priceless.
 * Hell, Santino's finishing move is a crowning moment of funny every time he tries to use it. COBRA! COBRA! COBRA!
 * Possibly even funnier now that people have to sell it.
 * Santino can notch up another hilarious moment with his performance in 2011's Royal Rumble. To wit: He enters at #37 and within moments is kicked under the bottom rope to the outside. Ten minutes later, Alberto Del Rio is the last man standing in the ring and the winner of the Royal Rumble...until the forgotten Santino slips back in the ring and hits him with a Cobra Strike. Sure, Santino was eliminated almost immediately following, but that was the best Brick Joke WWE has pulled out in years.
 * While Corre was having an internal dispute on Raw 4/11/11, Santino comes out alongside Evan Bourne, Daniel Bryan, and Mark Henry, who have united to form their own group.

""If there was ever any gimmick that didn't deserve to make a dime and made a boatload of cash, THIS WAS IT! And the best thing was they couldn't sue us because it was a parody!""
 * And then there's the 'APPLE Powers Unite' group fist bump. Mark Henry needed some convincing to join in.
 * On a Raw over in the UK, Santino and Vladimir Kozlov invited Sheamus to a tea party. It has to be seen to be believed.
 * After being sideline with an injury, Santino comes back to Raw's October 3rd show, by interrupting Jinder Mahal, who was in the ring, ranting in Punjabi. Santino mocks Jinder by speaking jibberish, which sets Jinder off and wants a match against Santino. Roughly 40 seconds later Jinder has eaten The Cobra and Santino is celibrating his victory.
 * When Kane was first turning face, one of his first good deeds was to help a kid win a prize from a crane machine...
 * The bWo entrance at the original One Night Stand pay-per-view, especially coming hot off the heels of The Sandman's entrance, hands down the greatest ever in pro wrestling. Joey was laughing so hard he believed he'd piss himself:

""That hurt more than having to be Simon Dean on national television! (Yeah, I'm fired; I know.)""
 * During the ensuing debacle after said entrance, Nova takes two massive chair shots right to the head by Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney, one after the other. After being laid out by the second, Joey Styles had this to say:

"Triple H: "You know, that Edge is a smart guy. I mean, marrying the boss to get ahead in the business? That's genius!""
 * Ric Flair's famous Flair Flop is known to cause a chuckle every now and then, but one instance turned it into a laugh riot. Triple H was in Flair's corner when he flopped once, and Trips could very easily be seen hanging his head and groaning in disgust.
 * Although Edge and Christian were essentially gods of comedy upon winning the tag titles for the first time, the act really didn't kick into gear until they were aligned with Kurt Angle. The Crowning Moment of this trio was early on: to pay tribute to the state of Kentucky, they dressed up as a jug band...complete with Edge donning a set of false teeth even more ludicrous than his own unnaturally large grin.
 * Even better: "I'm gonna play our music!"
 * Tommy Dreamer believes that Christian and Jack Swagger are ignoring him, and he has an interesting way of proving his point.
 * Let's not forget about Al Snow, especially his reign as European Champion and his tag team with Comically Serious Steve Blackman.
 * June 29th 2008. The night of Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania will forever be remembered as the night Mr. McMahon got Rickroll'd.
 * At ECW One Night Stand II, Rob Van Dam won the WWE championship from John Cena. Two nights later, on the inaugural broadcast of the revived ECW, he was crowned the ECW champion as well. He then spent several minutes talking up the honor and prestige of the ECW Championship...then held up the WWE Championship and declared, "And I'll keep this one too! Look! It spins!"
 * Matt and Jeff try to stay focused.
 * The "Shockmaster" segment on the August 31st, 2009 edition of RAW; take one of WCW's worst moments, mock it mercilessly, and then throw in Santino Marella for good measure.
 * "It shoulda worked!"
 * On September 9th, 2009, Bob Barker served as the guest host/GM of Raw. The opening segment alone made the entire show.
 * Barker's threat to an angry Chris Jericho: "Get back down there or I'll take you over my knee!" Which was even funnier when Jericho BACKED DOWN.
 * And don't forget the 85-year-old Barker beating up Chavo Guerrero. "The most important thing in any fight is the element of..." * punches Chavo in the stomach*  "SURPRISE!"
 * Goldust and Booker T
 * Triple H's appearance on the MVP Lounge talking about Edge:

"Christian: "Team Kofi Kingston! Looking for a fight! 4 of us are black and 1 of us is white! WHAT'S UP! What's up! What's up. Mark what's up?""
 * Kurt Angle vs. a generic luchador jobber - Kurt throws him to the outside, and the ref leans over to check on him. At this point, Eddie Guerrero sneaks in from behind disguised as said luchador, then throws Angle over the top rope (and over the ref's head) before leaving an inconspicuous banana peel where Angle was standing. The ref looks to see who attacked Angle, sees the banana peel, and just gives a Aside Glance to the camera, as if to say "You have got to be kidding me."
 * "The Houdini of Hardcore" Crash Holly defends the WWF Hardcore Championship against both of The Headbangers in Fun Time USA. This is probably the most memorable defense of said championship.
 * At Survivor Series 2009, Christian teamed up with Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, MVP, & R-Truth, and tried to point out that he's the only... At which point, his teammates to cut him off & say that it shouldn't matter, as they all want to win. Christian's relieved, and remarks that he's glad his teammates don't care that he's the only member of the ECW roster, leading to them all having a chuckle about it before Christian remarks "You thought I mean because I'm Canadian", which leads to an awkward silence from the others. The promo then ends with Christian trying to prove Canadians are pretty good rappers:

"Audience: (Chants in tune to Angle's music) "You're bald! You're bald!""
 * Carlito would like to thank Jesus, the Academy, Team Jacob, and everyone's favorite place Puerto Rico.
 * Let's not forget about the really funny PPV commercials. Like the WM21 Taxi Driver Parody, The Last Hot Dog (Summerslam 2006) or Carlito vs The Dove (WM24)
 * Judgement Day 2002 and Wrestlemania 2003, where Kurt Angle and Vince McMahon, respectively, get their heads shaved.

"Vince: This is the stupidest--
 * Then, on the RAW after Wrestlemania 23, Bobby Lashley knocks away Vince's hat, causing him to hide under Lillian Garcia's skirt. Lashley then rips her skirt off.
 * Kurt Angle: "Rey Mysterio Jr is a boy, and I'm a man. And I just love to play with little boys." * crowd laughs* "NO NO I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!"
 * In what is also a Crowning Moment of Awesome, Beth Phoenix (!) entered the 2010 Royal Rumble and, after being lifted over the top rope by The Great Khali and pointed towards the back, Beth plants a HUGE kiss on Khali. And eliminates him by dragging him over the top rope during the kiss.
 * Shane McMahon helps his father Vince train for a match against Austin...in the middle of winter with about a foot of snow on the ground. And Shane gets the idea to use the Good Old Ways of training, because "this is how they used to train in [his] day", including chasing a chicken around to build speed and endurance. Only problem is, since it's snowing out, the chicken isn't having any of it. So the first take, Shane throws the chicken, the chicken stays put, and Vince tries to nudge him along to get it to run.

Shane: This is the moment of truth!

Vince: This is the stupidest one of them all--

Shane: No, it's not!

Vince: I'm the CEO of a Fortune-500 company--

Shane: That's alright!

Vince: And you want me to chase a damn chicken?!

Shane: This is how they used to do it! This is how you build speed! Greasy fast, lightning speed! You catch this chicken, you are greased lightning! This is it -- you gonna be number two? This is how you beat Austin! This is how you beat Austin! You ready?!

Vince: Okay!

Shane: HERE WE GO! (throws chicken into pen with Vince) GET THE CHICKEN, GET THE CHICKEN! THAT'S IT! (The chicken stays where it lands, Vince pounces on it) DROP THE ELBOW! DROP THE ELBOW!

(Vince starts dumping handfuls of snow on the chicken, then just stares at it.)

Vince: ...what's the matter with the chicken?

Shane: It's a working chicken!

Vince: The chicken's like Austin...it's afraid of me! (Beat) Should I choke him?

(Vince leans in over the chicken, pumping his arm back and forth in a peculiar gesture)

Shane: Don't choke the chicken."

"Stephanie: Dad, you've got serious problems. And you know what? You've embarrassed our family long enough. It's time that I embarrassed you.
 * Edge and The Rock Only through these two could they make Squick hilarious.
 * Another guest host of RAW looked upon very fondly is William Shatner. Yes, that William Shatner. So when Shatner negotiated matches a la Priceline.com and did spoken word versions of WWE entrance themes, it turned what an already awesome night of RAW (Bret Hart's Return) into an epic one.
 * The McMahon family portrait from the 15th anniversary of Raw. Triple H hits the ring with his signature additions ("What I'm doing is waiting for that pop to die down - damn, do you hear that?!"), and, well - Hilarity Ensues. Shane's reaction of "oh God, my eyes" - or "I need a freaking drink" - and his eventual Screw This, I'm Outta Here after Vince made a comment about "dusting the cobwebs off" Mae Young. To say nothing of the parade of people who've slept with Vince. Most of this is just the setup for the Crowning Moment of Awesome for Stephanie and Trips.

(Stephanie grabs Triple H by the shirt and makes out with him as the crowd goes apeshit.)

Triple H: (looks smug as hell) Heh. See ya at home, Steph! ... oooh, I mean, your brother's a gnome!"

"Bubba Ray Dudley: Who wants some...(reaches into bag)...who wants a jar of Ass Cream?
 * The Dudley Boyz humiliate Christian and Chris Jericho by stealing their stuff and throwing it into the crowd. Including...

Lawler: (on commentary) Ass Cream?! Who uses that?!

Bubba Ray Dudley: What the hell are you guys doing with Ass Cream?! What do you DO with Ass Cream, might I ask?!

Jericho: Just hold on one damn second! You think this is funny?!

Bubba Ray Dudley: Yes, I do!

Jericho: You think this is funny?! Throwing my shirt into the crowd?! Throwing his pants into the crowd?! You think it's funny taking my--(Beat)--Christian's jar of Ass Cream out?!"

"Kane: So...how was your week?
 * Now with 35% MORE ASS!
 * The Undertaker and Kane couldn't catch a break. Between Kane and the whole Katie Vick situation and Taker with a busted hand, among other things, it was hard to say who was more worthy of pity.

The Undertaker: ..."

"Andre: Hulkamania is OVER! (laughs)
 * Bob Uecker's interviewing Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania 4 -- if for nothing more than Uecker's hilarious facial expressions:

Bob Uecker: (trying to push Andre's hand away) Um, would you mind getting your foot off my shoulder?

(Andre the Giant throttles Bob and shakes him like a rag doll.)"

"Jesse Ventura: You ever see anything like this in baseball, Ueck?
 * During the battle royal at the same show had this exchange:

Bob Uecker: This kinda reminds me of final cut day of spring training."

"Jerry Lawler: He DOES have super powers!"
 * Even though the storyline itself had to be Vince crossing the Moral Event Horizon for the 12th time, when they're in a Church, Vince dares G~D to strike him down. Shane takes a few steps back.
 * One moment in Wrestlemania 18 regarding the hardcore title scuffle backstage. At one point after the Hurricane got the title, he attempts to hide in one of the changing rooms behind a changing blind. A few seconds later, a few of the Godfather's ladies come in to get changed, and none of them notice that Hurricane is behind the blind... until they notice that Hurricane's shadow starts to show signs of visible excitement when a GIANT, phallic shadow rises up. Cue the Godfather come in and chasing the Hurricane away with a broom which had been used to display said 'excitement'

"Trish: Wow, that's gigantic.
 * One backstage segment on Smackdown in 2001 saw Trish Stratus getting changed behind a screen in the guy's dressing room. Steve Blackman disappears behind the screen to help her with her zipper, accidentally poking her with his kendo stick which is now elongated upwards in a strangely phallic position. Cue Grandmaster Sexay walking in and seeing the odd shadow.

Steve: You should see when I beat people over the head with it.

Trish: Can I hold it? (touching the stick) It's so hard."

"Lawler: Kelly Kelly's not pregnant, Brie's not a man, there have been no secret rendezvous and I'm pretty sure the Great Khali has no idea what's going on.
 * Eve Torres interviewed Triple H backstage before Survivor Series 2008 but Triple H was staring at something on Eve's upper torso area. He remarked that they were amazing, perfectly shaped and that his mother had a pair just like them. Could he be talking about...Eve's pearls of course. And after Vladimir Kozlov interrupts and leaves Trips remarks, "See, Eve, he couldn't take his eyes off them either".
 * Perhaps the Jerry Springer skit that was staged when Springer hosted Raw is worthy of this category even though falling into the So Bad It's Good category. The skit started off with Kelly Kelly saying she's pregnant but doesn't know who the father could be, there are a number of possibilities. Cue Santino's music, he mistakes Springer for Maury Povich and then Michael Cole interrupts only to be cut down by Jerry Lawler. Springer says that Lawler usually picks up his girls during recess (yes, paedophile jokes on a PG show). The Bella Twins interrupt and apparently Brie is a man and we can finally tell them apart as Brie is the one who looks like she's ready to castrate someone. Another possibility for Kelly's baby's father is Chris Masters who is told to put a bra on by Springer. Seconds later Eve Torres comes down and Masters says she wasn't getting the job done (it's still a PG show, apparently). Eve drops a bombshell: she's been cheating on Chris with the Great Khali. Springer says he has the results of the paternity test and the father is Hornswoggle. This is apparently too weird even for Springer and he walks off only for Lawler to admit they staged the whole thing.

Singh: Actually, King, much like our audience the Great Khali feels this has been a giant waste of time."

"Young fan: I hate you Batista!
 * But they're not done yet, Lawler says Springer has been hiding a secret relationship. Some men like their women skinny, others like them curvy. Some like their women old but Springer likes his women young. As in Mae Young of course and she comes out to smother Springer with kisses. The entire segment provided the sensation of channel surfing without even picking up the remote.
 * At Extreme Rules 2010 in the middle of the Last Man Standing match between John Cena and Batista.

Batista: I hate you too!"

"Idiot fan: Go back to Toronto!
 * Don't forget Chris Jericho's interaction with a fan at Survivor Series as well.

Jericho: I'm from Winnipeg, you idiot!"

"Straight out of Blackpool
 * William Regal raps. You heard me.

I'm William Regal

My rhyme's so intense

It shouldn't be legal

My style is refined

Not crude and crass

I'll keep you grounded

Like volcanic ash

I'll take you down

Rung by rung

I'm just like British Parliament

I'm completely hung

Straight Up Gangsta Trippin.

Yes boy."

"Matt Striker: He doesn't look that bad. He looks like Big Show Junior!"
 * But wait, THERE'S MORE. ("I spent three bloody hours learning this and I've forgotten it! Hang on, right, here we go...")
 * The Kane/Pete Rose feud is pretty goddamn hilarious, all things considered. Arguably the first example of face-like reaction Kane got was tombstoning Pete Rose after the latter insulted a local sports franchise.
 * The entire ending segment of the NXT finale - William Regal randomly calling Matt Hardy Eugene repeatedly, R-Truth's "Be quiet, you got a mask on!", CM Punk being told to leave if he has a problem and doing so, all of it was great.
 * John Morrison (Johnny Nitro at the time) is cutting a promo with Melina, when in the background, Jeff Hardy sets up a canvas and starts painting. John turns, yells at him, and kicks over the canvas. Jeff goes absolutely berserk on him. Which goes to show that obviously you do not fuck with the man's painting.
 * Layla El has recently picked up a few along with Michelle McCool since forming Lay Cool. One match in particular saw Beth Phoenix perform an airplane spin on Layla who ran to tag Michelle in only to realise she was in the wrong corner. Another time saw Beth use a giant swing on Layla with Michelle in close proximity, resulting in Layla becoming a human skipping rope.
 * For the second season of NXT, Lay Cool are pros on the show. Their rookie? Kaval (aka indy star Low Ki). A pair of bubbly, fashion-obsessed mean girls paired with an intense, no-nonsense wrestler who has a reputation for maintaining kayfabe. Their interactions so far have consisted of Kaval holding their belts and looking disgusted and bewildered while the two act like complete airheads.
 * On the 6/21/10 edition of RAW, a recently-fired Virgil asked what Ted DiBiase was going to do with protection now that he traded up for Maryse. Ted's response was, "go to the drugstore".
 * Unforgiven 2005: resident ditz Maria begins her pre-match interview with Chris Masters by asking him "Why do they call you The Masturbates?". Easily the funniest thing Maria ever did in-character.
 * From a parody of a skit done by the NFL, "You may not realize this, but you're African-American."
 * And everyone knows African-Americans are attracted to Canadian white women with broken noses.
 * July 16, 2010. The Big Show pulling off CM Punk's mask.

"Carlito - okay, at this point Carlito's hair has gotten way outta control! So much stuff is going on, the walls are closing in, everybody's looking at me! They think I'm gonna flip out . . . Tonight, my partner is Ric Flair, and I get to kick Edge's ass! Call me!"
 * At WWE Hell in a Cell, Randy Orton fails to throw the steel steps over the top rope into the ring. He gets booed and he gives the crowd the "up yours!" gesture.
 * The Miz stealing Edge's Slim Jim at Summerslam 2010. It's just so damn petty.
 * Triple H turns 40...and jobs to the entire cake-wielding RAW roster.
 * The best part is Batista doing his machine gunning pose with a cake.
 * The Big Show goes looking for the Hardy Boyz. He stars knocking down random doors in the back area, but behind one door...are The Undertaker and Kane. The hilarious one liner that Taker tosses off after beating the everloving crap out of Big Show? "Next time, knock!"
 * John Cena is interviewed by Maria in 2006. Vince McMahon is running Raw from a cell phone because his first granddaughter has just been born, and the assorted chaos that has ensued means Cena's just about had enough. After hitting on Maria (and asking if she ate paint chips when she was a kid), he goes off on how Edge is "rated PG-13", Randy Orton's been hitting on Brooke Hogan, and how Armando Estrada should "park [his] ass and shut [his] piehole".

"Taz: I hear he's bald. Like an eagle."
 * In 2003, after an angle that saw Hogan fired and slapped with a restraining order against Vince, promos for a new All-American Face called Mr. America began appearing. Cue to Mr. America's debut on Smackdown, and lo and behold its Hogan in glaringly obvious flimsy disguise. The best part was that unlike some other cases of fake disguises, Hulk's was pure Refuge in Audacity as he didn't even try to change his in-ring style, manner of speech, or even his entrance.

"Jerry Lawler: He could be Goldust's stunt double!"
 * This is an internet creation, but WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. Edge's promoing has never been so . . . classical.
 * In much the same vein, YES YES YES YES!
 * Latest episode, has The Big Show 'interviewing' himself on Smackdown.
 * The time William Regal and Goldust had to switch costumes for their match.

"Stephanie: I just had this horrible dream...hey, is my dad still in a coma?
 * The Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy. 'Taker was annoyed at a fan who kept yelling at him to piledrive Jeff. He responds with "Shut up, stupid!"
 * November 1, 2010, A segment that night on consisted of a sketch revealing before commercial break that Mr. McMahon has been in a coma for two months. His doctor (played by Freddie Prinze Jr.) casually mentions that it will be a shame that Mr. McMahon will miss the entire election when his wife Linda spent $50 million on the campaign. Mr. McMahon is wrestled awake by this news, covered in his wife's campaign stickers, and finally says that it's okay as long as the WWE is running smoothly. The doctor proceeds to list everything that's been going WRONG (Undertaker buried, NEXUS running wild, Pee Wee Herman hosting, etc.) and Mr. McMahon gets up to leave the room, saying if his wife can run for Senate, he can run for PRESIDENT, exiting to reveal his backside covered by a banner of his wife's opponent. Cut to his daughter Stephanie awaking in bed, Newhart style, and the following exchange:

Triple H: (off-screen) Yeah, he's in a coma; I'm pretty sure he's brain-dead.

Stephanie: (smiling) Thank god. (flops back to the bed, goes back to sleep)"

"All right, if this is going to be the last time, I want to hear half the arena chant "LET'S GO CENA!" and the other half chant "CENA SUCKS!" . . . No, no, it has to be all the kids and women chanting "LET'S GO CENA" and all the men over 18 chanting "CENA SUCKS!""
 * And before that, we had the hilarious Pee Wee Herman segment, featuring the Secret Word ("Ring"), The Miz coming out, everyone freaking out when he said it, Alex Riley being Pee Wee's biggest fan, and The Big Show in full Pee Wee Herman getup. Much, much Better Than It Sounds.
 * The 2010 Survivor Series featured a 5v5 team elimination match. During the match "Dashing" Cody Rhodes gets slapped in the face. Cue an epic temper tantrum and Cody storming out to the announcers table. However, instead of getting a chair or something he has someone hold out a mirror to make sure that he's still as good looking as before.
 * BALONEY, FUDGE AND MUSTARD! THE INTERNET IS RUINING JOHN CENA'S LIFE!
 * Even funnier is the email address bit. Apparently it's "candypants564@gmail.com" - it's a nonprofit thing, okay?!
 * The 11/22/10 Raw, where John Cena is giving his "retirement" speech and hangs a lampshade on exactly what his demographic is:

"Goldust: Perhaps you could share with me some of your grooming tips...?
 * CM Punk also happened to be on commentary that night, so he chanted Cena Sucks with the crowd.
 * The whole Edge abduction of Paul Bearer and Kane's reactions.
 * The "And I Quote" Slammy Award Video Package is basically a large collection of these, both intentional and unintentional, and by extension counts as one itself.
 * This exchange between the Rhodes wrestling family Cody Rhodes, Goldust, and Dusty Rhodes, from the old-school WWE RAW:

(Goldust inhales sharply, but Cody cuts him off.)

Cody Rhodes: Don't breathe on me. [Exit]

Goldust: Wait! Help a brother out! [Exit]

(Beat)

Dusty Rhodes: Man, I raised some weird kids..."

"Eli: What is a mustache? (chuckle) It's a little bit of hair, growing over the upper lip. I don't have one...I have the best mustache of them all...
 * The Royal Rumble 2005 ad. WWE meets West Side Story. WHAT THE HELL
 * Eli Cottonwood on the subject of mustaches:

(John Morrison hangs his head and covers his face with his clipboard)

Michael Cole: I thought he said he didn't have a mustache...

Eli: The mustache for a real man!

(Mark Henry pantomimes an airplane falling out of the sky and crashing)"

"Cena: I'm gonna do something I should have done a long time ago. *runs over to a fan in the front row and hugs him* I just hugged it out with the "We Hate Cena" guy. We're good!"
 * The first 3/4ths of John Cena's return promo on the 12.20 Raw (until the needless Vickie Guererro bashing). Wherein he shows his dropping 23 chairs on Wade Barrett from four camera angles and makes it impossible for Vickie Guererro to get a word out.
 * Specifically this bit:

"Cena: Double disqualification, they used too much profanity. This is a PG show!"
 * Santino VS Kozlov DANCE OFF!
 * Derrick Bateman and Bryan Danielson stand for chicks... AND AMERICA! Oh, and submission wrestling.
 * YMMV, but this troper got a chuckle out of Cena, acting as Guest Referee for a CM Punk and Wade Barret match with the loser's group barred from the Royal Rumble, disqualifying both. His reason?

"Lawler: Can you go into slow motion, JR?
 * I was in giggle fits over him miming sweeping of the New Nexus from ringside and his invoking of Leslie Nielsen in the Naked Gun when he threw out The Corre.
 * When the Raw GM's email buzzed, you can hear Cena mutter to himself, "What I did was GENIUS!" It made this troper laugh pretty hard.
 * NXT in general tends to be funny due to the snarky commentating. But it gets bonus points for just how much it paints the fourth wall, whether it's Dolph Ziggler half-jokingly accusing a challenge of being rigged and Matt replying "Ya think?" or Josh Matthews flat out saying during a wedding segment "You realize this isn't a real wedding, right?" and Cole replying in mock surprise, "Really?!"
 * Eddie Guerrero had some Mexican food delivered to himself on Smackdown. The Big Show decided he wanted it, took the delivery, and ate it before hitting the ring. Once there, he had some...internal distress (said food was spiked ahead of time by Eddie), and took off for the restroom-only to find that Eddie had already removed all the TP.
 * Yet Again Eddie proves he is hot with the fans. Someone get Show some wrap-around sunglasses.
 * This fan-cam footage from a house show in Beaumont, Texas. The guy recording is dressed up as Sheamus. When Sheamus goes to the other side (read: his) of the ring to pander to the crowd, he sees the guy dressed as him and his gimmick grinds to a complete stop. Not only does it completely derail Sheamus, but he stares at the guy for several long seconds; he even points him out to the official as if to say, "You see this too, right?".
 * Vickie Guerrero tries to spear Edge...and fails. She bounces harmlessly off of him, and (apparently) busting her ankle in the process.
 * The entire Great Khali Kiss-Cam (Valentine's Day edition) segment on the 2/14/11 RAW. The audience couples were the typical fare, but when the wrestlers themselves got involved, well...
 * Santino Marella and Tamina kiss, with Santino's left hand trying to sneak in edgewise as his "Cobra."
 * William Regal kissing Zack Ryder
 * And Zack Ryder's tweet of a photo of him kissing William Regal back.
 * Ted DiBiase (the younger) and Maryse. Maryse pulls away and gives him the talk-to-the-hand gesture...then turns and plants one on the very stunned face of Yoshi Tatsu.
 * When Zack met Rosa. It's not often you see a Big Lipped Alligator Moment in pro wrestling.
 * Cena taking all of the piss out of The Rock's Take That at him by eating Fruity Pebbles before his match at the Elimination Chamber.
 * February 21, 2011 Cena's verbal retaliation the week after The Rock's return on Raw where he launches into his old gimmick as the Doctor of Thuganomics.
 * That noise you heard was the massive pop of the millions and millions of vintage Cena fans.
 * Aksana, the Lithuanian from season 3 of NXT is one walking CMOF and half the time we're not sure she's doing it on purpose. During the "Talk The Talk" challenge on the show, her topic was a llama...and she had no idea what it was. Striker changed it to camel...and she didn't know what a camel was either. During the "Power of the Punch" challenge, her score was 666. During a "Diss the Diva" challenge, she remarked that she thought she saw fellow contestant on Jerry Springer, fighting for her babies. Then there's all her talking about being beaten with shovels.
 * Her elimination from the contest was her grand swan song. When she found out, she promptly fainted and tried to tell everyone it was a mistake. She then assured them that she was going to write a letter to Vince McMahon demanding a recount.
 * A minor one but during a blink and you miss it squash match with Lay Cool against Gail Kim and Melina, the latter two were mimicking the formers' Valley Girl Les Yay personalities.
 * Another Big Lipped Alligator Moment that involves Rosa Mendes. During a mixed tag match featuring Layla and the Dude Busters, out came Rosa with her skipping rope. The Dude Busters then got down from their positions at ringside and started spinning the rope for her while Matt Striker sang "my grandpa and your grandpa". Layla's tantrum was the icing on the cake.
 * Smackdown came to the Philippines a couple of years ago and someone in the crowd thought it would be funny to ring a "Batista IS SEXY" sign. Cue the wrath of King Booker.
 * Santino Marella "rapping." Even Randy Orton was trying not to laugh.
 * Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross commenting on John Morrison's entrance at Wrestlemania 27.

JR: I can simulate it. I'm in slow motion most of the time."

"Jim Ross: I think Kane is tired of the song."
 * Booker T comes out to celebrate with Stone Cold Steve Austin and Jerry Lawler after Wrestlemania 27. He gets a beer from Austin...then as he drinks it, a Stone Cold Stunner. As Booker falls back, the beer gushes from his mouth in a wide arc.
 * The first person eliminated from Tough Enough 2011 said their favorite match was Melina vs Alicia Fox.
 * Austin's reaction is priceless.
 * From the 25th April edition of Raw, the Draft Pick. Kofi Kingston has just pinned Sheamus for Smackdown's victory and Draft pick. Cue the ENTIRE Smackdown lockeroom, led by newly drafted John Cena, doing Kofi's signature clapping, even heels like Tyler Reks and Drew McIntyre getting involved. The funniest reaction is definitely Del Rio, who's clapping normally along and clearly thinking "What the hell is going on here...?" Now in gif form, for those who wish to see it
 * Brodus Clay's reaction is EVEN FUNNIER - he's just sitting there all forlorn and doesn't join the clapping.
 * The Royal Rumble has provided a few over the years:
 * Kane eliminating the Honky Tonk Man in 2001 immediately after he sang his song-- grabbing his guitar and smashing him over the head with it. And then shaking his head slowly.

"Tazz: "Well, the wig's eliminated.""
 * In the 2002 Royal Rumble match, Austin and Triple H were in the ring with the Hurricane and the Hurricane got the goozle on both of them, prepping them for a chokeslam. They sold it like he's The Undertaker or Kane for about five seconds before they both looked at each other and realized they're being choked by the freakin' Hurricane. Just as it dawned on the Hurricane that he just grabbed the necks of the two most decorated wrestlers of the Rumble that year, they grabbed him by the back of the neck and threw him over the ropes.
 * In the 2004 Royal Rumble match, Chris Benoit and Randy Orton had just eliminated several guys in a row and then collapsed from exhaustion. The announcers mentioned that the next person to come out would have a huge advantage. But that person turned out to be Ernest "The Cat" Miller, who decided to dance to his theme music alongside his ostentatiously-wigged manager, Lamont, instead. Benoit and Orton were not amused, and threw both of them over the top rope.

"Heenan: "By the time The Iron Sheik gets to the ring it'll be Wrestlemania 38."
 * The "Gimmick Battle Royal" at Wrestlemania X-7 was pretty much one big CMOF due to the return of many So Bad It's Good old favourites and having Bobby Heenan on commentary.

Heenan: This man (Repo Man) is nuts! Last week he repoed his own car.

Okerlund: About five years ago, he got my mother-in-law.

Heenan: About four years ago, everybody got your mother-in-law."

"Michael Cole: Finally, some sanity!
 * Just a Sexy Kurt
 * The Sandman one ups Carlito. Ron Simmons was needed for this one
 * Ax Crazy Scary Black Woman Kharma gets a Diva Photo Shoot. It starts normally enough.
 * Michael Hayes is doing a typical heel promo and calls out the audience for being stupid and being unable to spell the word 'ambition'. He then proceeds to mock them by suggesting a spelling bee. He goes: "A... m... i..." (Face Palm) before the referee interrupts him about needing to start the match.
 * TALK ABOUT BARRETT!
 * We are!
 * MORE!
 * "DOO! DI DI DI DI DI DI DOOO!" * runs from security*
 * R-Truth joins the Confederacy.

Jerry Lawler: ...sanity? Don't you mean insanity?

(Enter R-Truth, dressed up in a Confederate soldier costume)

Jerry Lawler: What?!"

"(during a Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna match, when Yokozuna slowly falls to the mat)
 * Stone Cold Steve Austin sees Confederate!R Truth, tries to say something in response, fails, and buggers off.
 * "USED TA IS A ROOSTAH FROM BREWSTAH!" said R-Truth. John Cena then glanced at the hard-cam and then immediately started Corpsing.
 * Before the MITB match, R-Truth insisted that the match being a ladder match was part of the conspiracy against him because Little Jimmy knew he had acrophobia.
 * He then went on to confuse acrophobia with arachnophobia.
 * During his first stint in the WWE, Scott Levy, a.k.a. Raven, was given the So Bad It's Good gimmick of Johnny Polo, and worked primarily as a manager and sometimes color commentator. To his credit, Raven made the character hilarious to listen to. Especially when paired up with Gorilla Monsoon:

Gorilla: It took him forever to fall to the ground!

Polo: Well, 568 lbs. x 9.8 feet-per-second, that's the force of gravity!

Gorilla: (exasperated) Will you stop?!"

"Crowd: (Not two seconds into the match) BA! TIS! TA! BA! TIS! TA!"
 * Steve Austin to D'lo Brown: "You're so insensitive. You dialed zero when you called me last night."
 * DDP helping Christian return to his winning ways. Specifically Christian's positive smiles and DDP repeatedly sneaking up behind Christian
 * During the Power to the People, techical difficulties resulted in Mason Ryan getting put into a match with Evan Bourne. Since Mason bears more than a passing resemblance to Batista, the obviously upset crowd, hoping for a match between Sin Cara and Bourne, decided to have some fun.

"Triple H: It was a Lumberjack match, you idiot."
 * Miz + R-Truth + Christian = comedic gold
 * In the 8/22 edition of Raw, a fan tossed John Cena back his shirt. Alberto Del Rio's reaction is especially priceless.
 * On the 9/26 episode of RAW, Christian comes out once again to complain to Triple H that he got screwed out of the title when Sheamus threw him into the ring allowing Mark Henry to beat him. Triple H's response?

"Christian: Is it for the title?
 * Also, his response to Trips putting him in a match with WWE Champion John Cena.

Triple H: No.

Christian: *Hissyfit*"

"Kermit: We're sorry Mr. Swagger, Miss Piggy and I don't want to anger you or your...mother."
 * Also, Triple H increasing the numbers of competitors Cody Rhodes will have after Rhodes gives Triple H some snide remarks, after been given the night off due to being injured the past week on Smackdown, going from just one competitor, to a 10 man battle royal.
 * October 31, 2011: Sheamus meets Beaker. (Itself a Call Back to when Edge referred to Sheamus as such)
 * This tropette's favorite scene has to be this:

"Booker T: No wonder why he was wearing a mask, that guy's ugly!
 * William Regal's entrance on Superstars during their November 2011 UK tour. Even Regal cracks up on his way to the ring.
 * Even better, it was edited into the show.
 * October 16, 2011: Sin Cara Azul defeats Sin Cara Negro and pulls his mask off. Negro covers his face with his hands and runs away screaming.

Michael Cole: Huh? What are you talking about? He's just a Mexican guy with a crewcut.

Booker T: Look at him, he's hideous!"

"Triple H: Truth, he doesn't like how that guy's eyeballing him.
 * This exchange after Triple H and R-Truth are talking to invisible people. The audience reaction to R-Truth's counter to HHH is priceless.

R-Truth: Man, you crazy. You're talkin' to people that don't exist.

Triple H: (full Sarcasm Mode) I know, it's like I'm insane."

- ""Myyyy faiiiir LADY! HAHAHAHAHAAH!""
 * The Miracle on 34th Street Fight between Randy Orton & David Otunga during the special Holiday Edition of WWE Smackdown, featuring such moments of hilarity like Orton chomping down on holiday cookies, tossing a present to a fleeing Otunga, and even screaming out "HO HO HO!"
 * Don't forget, he put one of the Christmas decoration over Otunga's head when he flung him into the steel steps.
 * The "Pipe Bomb of The Year" Slammy Award video montage which, as per tradition, takes all the unintentionally (or intentionally?) hilarious lines said during the year in the WWE and put into one comical video, provides us with a look back at these gems.
 * Austin Gets X-Pac
 * "And X-Pac, the only thing good about you is that your name rhymes with six pack!"
 * How does Aksana react when Teddy Long says she'll be learning from Alicia Fox? By jumping up and down and squealing with delight that he got Rihanna.
 * December 26, 2011: Monday Night RAW begins with no theme music, just a shot of the arena in anticipation of CM Punk's arrival. His music plays, the camera goes to the ramp, and out comes... Executive Vice President of Talent Relations & Interim General Manager of RAW John Laurinitis, wearing CM Punk's "Best In The World" shirt over his suit and doing Punk's entrance. "Who says I can't be unpredictable?"
 * No Mercy 2004: Bubba Ray Dudley orders Jackie Gayda to kiss him, and foolishly closes his eyes and puckers up. Rico kisses him instead. Bubba enjoys it, then realizes what happened and has a Freak-Out. Later, The Dudleys attempt the "Wazzzup" (Bubba holds an opponent down and Devon hits a diving headbutt to the groin) on Rico, but Rico rubs his thighs suggestively, causing Devon to stop and refuse to deliver the headbutt in disgust.
 * On the January 9th episode of Raw, Brodus Clay finally made his re-debut. This pretty much sums up the whole thing.
 * Brodus' dance-off competition with Vickie Guerrero and William Regal a few weeks later was pretty funny, made even better by a couple of Shout Outs with Vickie doing the Elaine Dance while Regal channels Morecambe and Wise.

"(Ron Simmons walks in on the scene with his arms folded, looking very agitated as he contemplates the sheer lunacy of what he's witnessing.)

Ron Simmons: ...DAMN!"