The Legend of Atlantis

The Legend of Atlantis is a five-part Documentary Miniseries that reveals the "truth" about man's origins and his eventual purpose. Aside from some narmtastic original footage, the film also includes clips from various New Age favorites like Erich von Däniken and Jasmuheen.

In a nutshell, humans were created so souls would have something into which to incarnate to complete their cosmic journey. Everything was great in the old days when Atlantis was still around and humanity still knew all the Mysteries, but things grew corrupt, an Elite formed that kept the Truth hidden away from humanity, atomic war broke out, a pole shift was caused, and the continents were ripped apart. And the same Elite that formed in Atlantis is still trying to keep the truth hidden from humanity today.

A sterling example of off-the-deep-end New Age crazy, the only thing that keeps The Legend of Atlantis from being a Mockumentary is the dedicated earnestness and sincerity with which its creators present the randomly-assembled patchwork of their cosmology and pseudo-history. It may verge into So Bad It's Good territory; it certainly sits firmly in the middle of So Bad It's Hilarious.


 * Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence
 * After the End
 * All Myths Are True: The documentary's story haphazardly smooshes together several religions and myths along with modern UFO/alien mythos. Merlin was an incarnate angel sent to teach humanity! (Which is just a rehash of Gandalf's origins in The Lord of the Rings.)
 * Ancient Astronauts: The gods were really aliens and they used to visit humans back in the good old days.
 * Ancient Egypt: The Egyptians preserved half of the mystical knowledge of Atlantis.
 * Beethoven Was an Alien Spy
 * Conspiracy Kitchen Sink: The Illuminati, Freemasons, etc., are a continuation of the evil Atlantean elite. Every great teacher ever was an incarnate angel. And the fall of Atlantis and the rise of the NWO is part of God's plan for humans to complete their evolution.
 * Cool Starship: LIGHTSHIPS!
 * The Chosen Many: A part of humanity will be chosen to become the new and improved, super-powered humans.
 * Dan Browned/Did Not Do the Research: Loads of it. Some particularly juicy examples:
 * "The Freemasons or Illuminati (meaning "illuminated"), later called the Templars, had the difficult task of building God's temple."
 * "Symbolically, God's temple represents the human animal: half man, half beast." Huh?
 * A woman who allegedly channels aliens claims that the "white race" came from Venus, the "red race" came from Saturn, the "yellow race" came from Mars, and the "black race" came from Jupiter.
 * The documentary tries to make it sound like the word "christ" derives from the word "crystal." Christ is the Greek word for "anointed one," a direct translation of the Hebrew term mashiach. Crystal comes from the Greek word krystallos, which means "ice."
 * The End of the World as We Know It: It's starting! RIGHT NOW!
 * Evolutionary Levels: Humanity is about to evolve to the next level!
 * Fantasy Kitchen Sink: What the past was, according to
 * Gotterdammerung: Everything was great until Atlantean scientists started working independently of the priesthood, then everything started going to pot!
 * Hilarious in Hindsight: "It's the Game, man. The Game. So many have forgot about the Game..."
 * Human Aliens
 * Humans Are the Real Monsters: For poisoning the Earth, causing global warming, and all that.
 * Humans Are Special: The Chosen Many are going to ascend to their next evolutionary level!
 * The Illuminati: An ancient evil conspiracy that dates allll the way back to Atlantis.
 * No Such Thing as Space Jesus: Averted; an illustration shows people rapturing up to a flying saucer, Jesus tagging along with them. And according to the documentary, "the brothers of space will reveal themselves as the keepers of Christ."
 * Psychic Dreams for Everyone: For The Chosen Many, anyway.
 * Rule of Seven: The coming End of the World As We Know It is the seventh time the Earth has been cleansed.
 * Utopia Justifies the Means: All the horrendous suffering the world is going through? All part of the Divine Plan and it will all be worth it!