Yet again, with a little extra help/Funny

Some of the best Crowning Moments of Funny for Third Fang's Naruto fanfic Yet again, with a little extra help.

"Ghost: "WE MUST FIND THE NEAREST VOLCANO AND THROW OURSELVES INTO IT! BY THE TIME OUR BODIES HAVE REPAIRED THEMSELVES, ENOUGH TIME SHALL HAVE PASSED THAT SCAB WILL NO LONGER HAVE THE DESIRE TO WARP OUR MINDS AND OR BODIES… OR HE WILL USE SOME OTHER UNFORTUNATE SOUL FOR HIS EXPERIMENTS!""
 * Two of Scabbard's latest eccentricities in Chapter 66.
 * First and foremost, "Science." Cue the hysterical panic.

"Scabbard, smoking a cigar while addressing Naruto: "You know how lots of people smoke cigarettes after sex? Well this is my cigarette, and my sex is when an amazing plan that I pulled out of my ass comes together. While I am smoking this beauty, you are to address me as Hannibal. You shall be Howling Mad Murdoc, Zabuza is "Face", and Bee here is "Mr. T." and together, we are the "A Team"… God I love my sex…""
 * Shadow also forbids Crypt (in usual Oogakari fashion) from making a new volcano for them to jump into. If one were to think about it, they'd figure out it's because Scab always finds them if he does.
 * Secondly, whenever Scabbard comes out on top via an improvised plan.

"Hinata's thoughts:"As long as she doesn't go for Naruto-kun, I don't mind either way. No one's taking my one man harem away from me. Not if I have anything to say about it."
 * Bee then has an urge to "drink milk and tell kids not to do drugs", but is scared into wanting beer by the Eight-Tails. Seconds later, he explodes on Scabbard for calling him "Mr. T".
 * Ino temporarily becoming a Harem Seeker. And everyone's reaction.

Naruto:"I don't believe it. I've been trying and planning for months on how to get back at Ero-ni in the most horrible and embarrassingly humiliating way possible… and Ino singlehandedly pulls it off without even thinking about it. That shouldn't be possible… I'M the pranking king of Konoha… I should be the one to be able to do that so easily… it's like nothing makes sense in the world anymore…"

Sasuke(while shivering uncontrollably):"… I'm renewing my restraining order on Ino after this…"

Gaara:"This village never ceases to confuse me…"

Shikamaru to :"… I'm starting to think broken is too small of a word to describe what you did to her …" "… but I think you got your answer as to what she thinks of you… I think…"

Shikaku:"Must. Not. Laugh. Laugh. Equals. Mind Rape. Mind Rape. Is. Troublesome."

Onoki (looks at Sarutobi with a Nosebleed): "I'm moving here after I retire."

Scabbard and Kiba Laughing their asses off."

"Long after the war with Madara ended, the academy still raves about the week that Naruto Uzumaki taught an academy class with the Hokage's hat on his head."
 * Major example from chapter 61, just released, staring Suigetsu: "My ass is frozen, and so are my drinks, sir!
 * Upon Naruto winning a bet with Tsunade:

""QUACK QUACK MOTHERFUCKER"
 * From Chapter 22

"Gentlemen…" Announced a third clone in a stiff and uptight manner as the group prepared for Sasuke's and Sakura's onslaught. "It has been an honor working with you in this glorious task of aiding our comrades' training. I wish you grand harvests and virgins aplenty in the next life.""

""GATO." Spoke a deep and menacing voice from the direction that he just flew from. Everyone turned to see… a huge head on top of the bridge. Its features were blocked out by the steam, but Naruto already knew who it was. "YOU HAVE ANGERED THE GIANT BIG HEADDED TIKI GODS WITH YOUR SHORTNESS AND YOUR CRUEL TREATMENT OF THIS COUNTRY. AS THE GRAND TIKI ELDER HEAD, I, M. NIGHT SHAMALAMADINGDONG McTOOTTOOT, I CONDEMN YOU TO… OOOOH CRAP MY NECK!" During the entire speech, the head was continuously swaying side to side with greater movement each time until it just about fell over the edge. "SHIT! I'M FALLING OVER THE EDGE! NONONONONONONONONONONO!" Said giant head rolled over the side of the bridge, causing everyone watching to sweat drop excessively. They all were staring at where the head just was and trying to comprehend what the hell just happened as a man crawled back over the edge of the bridge. "Holy crap that was close." He yelled to himself. "Now I know why people don't use the big head technique more often. It's fucking murder on the neck! Owwww."

Everyone proceeded to sweat drop more. "Yeah, sensei…" Naruto sighed. "'s here.""

""Heheheh. I was the girl singer."
 * Crypt and the floor poultry  Hyuuga EVERYTHING. That is all EVERYTHING.

"They had sex…""

"Hinata: "Naruto-kun is mine, and so help me if you get near him again I will use the extent of my power to blow up your tits lady..." The girl growled as she coldly stared at the already unconscious woman and causing everyone else to naturally back up from her.
 * Shadow and/or Hinata plus Foxy Naruto.

Anko: "Damn… and I thought I was violent when someone unwanted goes after my man…" Anko whistled in an impressed tone.

Ghost: Ooookkkkk… we might want to lighten up on the crazy when it comes to Hinata for now…"

""Sorry Gai. I wasn't paying attention. I kept on hearing the term "3 for 3" in my head repeatedly for some strange reason and it just happened to block out everything else…"
 * Kakashi and Gai have definitely had a few.

"NOOO!" Gai roared as he realized that all of his students failed to beat any of Kakashi's. "DAMN YOU KAKASHI AND YOUR HIP ATTITUDE AND YOUR UNYOUTHFUL BOOKS AND YOUR MEDDLESOME YOUTHFUL STUDENTS AND YOUR PESKY DOGS AND YOUR FLYING MACHINES AND YOUR…!""

""Sensei's vow of silence?"
 * Anko plus any of her girlfriends equals this.

"Vow of silence."

"All I'll say is that I feel sorry for blondie when the girl finally gets out of her shell. Kage level stamina or not, he definitely won't be able to outlast-"

"VOW OF SILENCE!""

""Try not to have sex with any of your cousins tonight!" *Hana trips and headbutts the door of a crowded restaurant.*
 * Aand...

"Why you… Two can play that game… Only as long as you don't get lonely enough that you have to summon your snakes for the extra "company" Anko!"

"That was only that one time and you know it Hana! … Ah fuck.""

"Naruto: My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I'll be your assistant teacher for the next semester! … And slightly delerious for the next hour. Lesson one: how to treat a concussion. GO!"
 * Both Ghost and Naruto's attempts to copy Anko's dynamic entry maneuver.

""… I'm hiding in a tree!" Someone hidden shouted. "… IT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT!""
 * Tenten and her first meetings with Zabuza and Waltz... and their blades.
 * Anything with Ghost that isn't a legitimately pressing issue, and some things that are.

""You see children, unlike the Legendary Sucker Tsunade, whose luck is always in the pits when it comes to gambling unless something bad is about to happen, MY luck is like an unstable blind chipmunk on many, many drugs, meaning that one moment everything could be going my way, and the next I am being seduced by three overweight transvestites, oddly all named Bob, while tied up in a makeshift dungeon in one of their basements… only to escape seconds later, get them arrested and unknowingly gain a massive award for the aid in capturing three notorious rapist criminals. The lesson of the story children is that it is surprisingly difficult to find an overweight transvestite named Bob.""
 * And the kicker

""Go forth my tool and do your master's bidding. Open the front door of horrors." Zabuza said in a mocking tone, enjoying Haku's reaction. "What? We're in the home of an insanely overpowered psycho of a man. Might as well act the part.""
 * Zabuza and Haku

""Yep." Naruto deadpanned as he looked at the massive balloon machine that hovered over the small town. "Can I…"
 * The other chainlinked characters are concerned over Ghost's obvious corruption of Naruto. One example from the Princess Koyuki arc.

"No." Kakashi answered before the boy even finished his sentence, knowing exactly what the he was asking. "Even if you actually do become Hokage, I would make it one of my life's missions to prevent you from having one.""

""Kakashi-san… I'm scared…" Haku whimpered as she saw the calm smirk on the whiskered boy's face.
 * And...

"We all are Haku… we all are…" The cyclops wept."

""All hail that who sacrifices itself on our behalf for all time. The selfless deity of the forest. All hail the log." The three chanted in a brainwashed fashion."
 * Konoha's respect for the Ninja Log just gets creepier and funnier over time.

"Onoki: "Ugh. What the hell happened…?"
 * Onoki and Roshi getting blasted with Orioke No Jutsu (Sexy Technique) by Naruto AND Konohamaru's group.

Kurotsuchi: "Two traps and a girl who is way too young to start seduction training…"

Hiruzen: "I'd appreciate it if all the men here didn't start fantasizing about my 7 year old grandson…""

"Random Hyuuga Branch Member: (After a thump is heard from outside Naruto's hospital room) "Hiashi-sama! Sasuke Uchiha has just collapsed for some reason! We swear we had nothing to do with it!""
 * When Naruto considers the theoretical implications of fangirls learning how to use Shadow Clones... well...

"Lee: "YES! YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE MOST BRIGHT TODAY NARUTO-KUN! I WILL RUN WITH YOU UNTIL YOU CANNOT RUN ANYMORE AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT I WILL-"]]
 * Naruto's reaction to Zuzushi on his head.

Naruto: "FOR THE LAST TIME FUZZY BROWS MY FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE NOT BURNING BRIGHTLY THERE IS SOMETHING RAPING MY HEAD HELP ME GET IT OFF FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" |undefined"

"Crypt:"Hi son! How was school today?"
 * Crypt ambushing Naruto

Naruto:"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!""

"Naruto:"Someone I don't know called me by my nickname as if I was someone dangerous for the first time… I never thought I'd ever see this happen… Ero-Senin! Kakashi-Sensei! I did it! I finally did it! All that training, blood sweat and tears! All the humiliation I had to go through! All the cow bombings and running from mobs of angry women covered in their underwear! It finally paid off!""
 * Naruto's moment of joy after being recognized by enemy shinobi:

"Scabbard: "You flipped a coin when you placed bets on this fight didn't you."
 * Naruto's Atomic F Bomb in chapter 62.
 * fight ends up with a Double KO.. As it turned out Naruto flipped a coin. This is the conversation.

Naruto:"Yeah, you got me."

Scabbard: "And it landed on it's side... didn't it?""

"Shukaku: "Rejoice human! We have been in the presence in the Sky Mother when she was pissed and remain alive and unmaimed! I'm so happy I feel like I just killed an entire town of humans!""
 * Naruto reminding Gaara that he literally Ass Shove a Kunai with an exploding tag...in front of about half the Bijuu and their hosts.
 * And repeating it against Han....Two for Two after all.
 * Anytime "The Hunt" is taking place, as Naruto, Waltz, and Jiraya can attest to.
 * After Shadow leaves while emitting killing intent that scared Shukaku.