Panic!

Panic! (known as Switch! in Japan) is a 1993 game for the Sega CD. It's the story of a boy and his dog, among other things.

Okay, so there's this nasty computer virus that's infected the global network server which somehow controls pretty much everything in the world - and that includes things that aren't even computerized. To stop things from going all ker-flooey, your player character Slap and his dog Stick need to set about fixing the problem. Why? Because the U.N. was busy, that's why.

Anyway, Slap and Stick must do this by manipulating various switches that will take them to the server and allow them to upload an anti-virus program. Are things making sense so far? Cool, because they're definitely about to stop doing that.

Out of nearly a thousand unmarked switches, there are only a few that will allow you to reach your goal. The rest of them are nothing less than a gateway to madness. The game's style is at times reminiscent of an interactive Terry Gilliam animation, only without anything resembling context nine times out of ten. Some switches will affect things or characters in each scene, others will segue into a bizarre cameo of some odd creature or person saying something even odder, and still others will warp you to new areas, which is how you progress through the game. Oh, and buried in there somewhere are 30 booby-trapped switches that are each wired to destroy a different famous landmark (or, in lieu of that, some random guy's farmhouse or teepee); press all 30 of these and it's game over.

Gameplay-wise, there's not much to tell; you press a button, weird things happen, and your eyes immediately start insisting to your brain that yes; they really did just see that shit.

The game was later ported to the PlayStation 2 with some minor Bowdlerization involving the booby traps, but unless you're willing to import it from Japan, you're SOL. If you don't want to resort to either importing or emulation, there is an awesome Let's Play of this done by a Mr. Frankomatic of YouTube here that provides the gist of the game.


 * BLAM Episode: This game did Adult Swim-style non sequitur humor back when Cartoon Network was just an itch in Ted Turner's pants. Not one tiny bit of this game makes sense. At all.
 * The Cameo: Where have we seen that giant foot before? Hmm...
 * Cut and Paste Environments: Uses it and subverts it. There are a few scenes where you enter the same area but as the dog Stick instead of Slap, and most of the gags in these areas are almost identical. There's also at least a couple of scenes that look exactly like earlier ones, but with different gags happening after you press buttons. For instance, a very late scene appears to repeat Slap teleporting into his TV, but the four buttons lead to a different set of areas.
 * Ear Worm: The main title theme and some of the background tunes are quite catchy.
 * Eenie Meenie Miny Moai: They make an appearance in numerous scenes, usually falling from above and turning your character into a Slap sandwich.
 * Everything Is Online: We mince no words when we say "everything."
 * Funny Aneurysm Moment: Turns out exploding national landmarks aren't quite as humorous anymore. The PlayStation 2 rerelease changed it to having said landmarks spew diarrhea instead.
 * Gag Boobs: Drinking a certain potion will cause Slap (or Stick!) to grow a large pair of breasts. He smiles sheepishly until another pair grows on his arms. And another pair on his head. And a dozen or so more before all of them vanish with a hiccup.
 * Guide Dang It: Every area has at least one button that warps you to another scene, and the ones that have more than that often have one to send you backwards. So unless you have a photographic memory pertaining to which button does what, be prepared to spend a long time repeating scenarios.
 * Let's Play: Done by Frankomatic in the description link, and it's awesome.
 * And he's now doing a run of the game where he triggers all of the gags.
 * Mind Screw: This game could put any of the examples on the Mind Screw page to shame.
 * Nonstandard Game Over: Popping all 30 landmarks isn't the only way to lose. Some switches will instantly end the game. Without any warning, natch.
 * Off-the-Shelf FX: A large number of sound effects are obviously just some guy making noises with his mouth.
 * The credits do acknowledge this, listing the "Human Sound Effects" as performed by Kent Flick.
 * Running Gag: That damn genie keeps popping up in the strangest places, hums a few bars of his little Leitmotif, and then jets off like a deflating balloon.
 * If a machine has a large opening, one of the buttons will most likely make it vomit.
 * Shout-Out: This seems to be a parody of My Neighbor Totoro's Catbus.
 * Title Drop: Two cases; One in the introduction, dubbing the virus antidote "Panic". The other in a room with a machine that teaches lingo, one of the results being "Panic!"
 * The Voiceless: Subverted. There's one room where Slap will repeat whatever phrase the strange gizmo in there shouts. Apart from that, he only makes general vocalizations a la Link.