Pushing Daisies/Funny

"Emerson: Hang on a second, let me ask the money. (Pretends to be on the phone) Hey, money. It's me, Emerson. I'm good, I'm good. Thanks for asking. Say, can I still pay my bills and buy stuff with you even though you were Olive's money first? Uh-huh. Ned: Wait. Emerson:Yeah, okay then. (Chuckles to himself) Thanks. (Pretends to hang up, becomes serious again) The money don't care. Touch him."
 * "In other news; kittens on parade!"
 * Olive has hired Emerson to find out who killed a jockey she used to know. Ned is worried about whether it's a bad idea to have someone they know as a client. Emerson thinks differently:

"Ned: It's a random proximity thing. Emerson: Bitch, *I* was in proximity!"
 * Emerson has a lot of these, like this famous exchange from the pilot:

"Narrator: As Mark Chase continued his monologue, unaware that the body bags allowed no sound through..."
 * Or Emerson's "Oooh, a 'magic' show! Where did I put that rat's ass that I could give? Oh yeah -- I don't have it."
 * The moment in episode 2, "Dummy", where the villain has just gotten into his triumphant monologue (which contains gems like "So what if there might be a bit of a possibility that if you drive in 70 mph with the headlights on and the seat warmer on low, a shortcircuit in the radio causes a cataclysmic chain reaction which causes it and its precious human cargo to go to smithereens!") while the heroes are trapped. Cut back to vision from inside the trap where you can see him gesticulating wildly in silence:

"Emerson: I don't mean to stereotype but my guess is an attractive man who bakes pies for a living shouldn't even spend a short amount of time in prison. (Chuck gives a look of hilarious dismay)"
 * The episode where Ned goes to jail for murder and Emerson voices his concerns:

"Ned: His plane was hijacked. The Coroner: How did ya figure that out? Ned: (pause) DNA... ish."
 * This scene from "Pigeon", after Ned gets the information he wants from Bradan:

"Emerson: (to a bickering mother and daughter) Looooooooove it. (Suddenly threatening) Love it."
 * In "Bad Habit", Chuck hires someone to trace her family tree, but so he doesn't recognise her, puts on a blonde hairpiece. Later, Emerson is worried that Chuck might have given herself away by doing this, and Ned says "no, she disguised herself with a hooker wig."
 * "Circus Circus" has the horrible hilarity of the clown-car crash, and at the end, Emerson Cod's Crowning Moment Of Deadpan Snarker:

""Oh, look. A dumb idea just found a friend." "Well, that idea might make a stupid idea feel better about itself.""
 * The rhino scene from "Window Dressed To Kill". That is all.
 * Emerson's Deadpan Snarker lines are just wonderful.

"Chuck: Remember-Mind over matter makes Pooh unfatter.
 * From "The Fun in Funeral", when Emerson is stuck in the window and Chuck is trying to pull him out:

Emerson: I may be stuck, but I can still reach my gun."


 * "Kick, Pooh! Kick!"