Sima Yi Answers Letters

Sime Yi Answers Letters is long Crack Fic set in the Dynasty Warriors universe (with some mentions of Warriors Orochi) from Sima Yi's perspective, writing letters in response to other characters, and true to his character, they are snarky, arrogant, and often laden with the Sima patriarch feeling as if he's the Only Sane Man, though he's a bit of a nut himself, and the whole series is a massive series of jokes poking fun at the Dynasty Warriors universe, often breaking the fourth wall and referencing other media, but never straying too far from it's core, which is Sima Yi Deadpan Snarkering the ever loving crap out of the rest of the cast.


 * Butt Monkey: Cao Pi, Zhuge Liang, Lu Xun, and Sima Zhao are just a few who are this for Sima Yi, though he also gets put through a ton of humiliating situations himself.
 * Double Standard: Lampshaded. Sima Yi does not think his wife being with other women is cheating, though does see her being with other men as that (though this doesn't prevent him from musing about being her pimp at one point given her usual outfit), but he does admit to the double standard when pressed on it.
 * Evil Laugh: Sima Yi's trademark. Actually gets miffed at his wife when she wants him to stop.
 * Gender Bender: Sima Yi and few others go through this a few times, mostly thanks to hilarious incompetence by Xun Yu.
 * Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: Sima Yi is awful invested in seeing his wife and Wang Yi in bed together.
 * Groin Attack: Sima Yi winds up literally losing his family jewels more than once via magical mishap.
 * Jerkass: Sima Yi, and he knows it.
 * Took a Level in Jerkass: Most of the rest of the cast at one point or another, mostly in the name of humor.
 * More Deadly Than the Male: Especially if you are Zhang Chunhua, though Wang Yi is a close second in this regard. In fact, almost every prominent female is more scary than the males when pissed off.
 * Only Sane Man: What Sima Yi thinks he is, but he's just as crazy as everyone else in his own way.
 * Tastes Like Chicken: Ma Chao's soul, according to Sima Yi.