The Real Ghostbusters/Funny

""Yes! Five years I've waited to do that! Five long years!""
 * For an action cartoon, The Real Ghostbusters is relatively low-key and doesn't have as many Awesome Moments as its competitors (although there are a few). Now Funny Moments, on the other hand, tend to be numerous on the ground, especially in the first season. Just as a short list: multiple moments in "Knock Knock", most of "Ain't NASA-sarily So", the exorcist getting his comeuppance in "Spirit of Aunt Lois", the climax of "No One Comes to Lupusville" for sheer wonderful absurdity, and pretty much the entire last third of "Hole in the Wall Gang" (and with that one, what do you expect from David Gerrold, the writer who invented the Tribble for Star Trek the Original Series?)
 * In "The Halloween Door", Peter and Slimer dress as each other for costumes, allowing Peter the chance to slime Slimer.

"Peter: (angrily) Slimer, you're dead!
 * From one of the Halloween episodes after Peter's date leaves because of Slimer:

Slimer: Good observation, Peter."

"Peter: For the record, interpret this as a no!"
 * Crowley goes to the Ghostbusters for help in getting rid of Halloween, but they chase him off by telling Slimer he has candy... in his socks.

"Egon: Transwarp drive?
 * Then there's the scene in "Citizen Ghost" where Egon & Peter were checking on the rebuilt containment unit. Of course the latter is slacking off, but Egon catches on.

Peter: Check.

Egon: AH-HA! Caught you! We don't have a transwarp drive.

Peter: If we don't have one, then it can't malfunction. If it's not malfunctioning, then nothing's wrong. And if nothing's wrong, then it checks, right?

Egon: (Beat) I'm not going to talk to you again for at least a week. It's not good for me.

Peter: Hey, don't make fun. This is how I got through college."

"Ray: Whoever does that might not come back.
 * After being cornered in the Firehouse by their Evil Counterparts, the guys realize they can weaken them by forcing them to drain their ectoplasmic energy, but someone would have to draw their fire.

Winston: So, who's gonna be the one to do it? Who can we afford to lose?

Peter: Oh, Janine!

(Janine picks up a lamp)

Peter: Just kidding! Just kidding!"

"Winston: *horrified* I have sold my soul to the devil. I have sold my soul to the devil. I have sold my soul to the devil.
 * In "The Devil to Pay", Winston unwittingly signs a contract with a Louis Cypher character:

Ray: Actually, Winston, Dib is a minor demon, not the devil per se.

Winston: Thank you, Ray. I have sold my soul to a minor demon. I have sold my soul to a minor demon..."

"Egon: In college, I once got an A- on a test and my parents wouldn't talk to me for a week.
 * The final contest in Dib's gameshow sees the Ghostbusters tied to a giant roulette wheel. The ball will crush one of them unless a specific Ghostbuster confesses a secret he didn't want the others to know.

Peter: Can you drop the ball on him?!"

"Dopey Dog: We have only one chance. We have to pick up and move this lake, or else your friends will -->die.
 * The guys changing Baby Egon's diaper in "Three Men and an Egon."
 * Egon's sheer irritation at being in the cartoon world in "Who're You Calling Two-Dimensional?"

Egon: You cannot move a lake. It's physically impossible.

Dopey Dog: We don't have time to argue about this. Your friends need us.


 * they pick up and move the lake, and Ray, Winston, and Peter land in it)

Winston: Quick thinking guys, but now we're soaked.

Dopey Dog: That's simple. Walk out of frame.

(they walk out of frame)

Dopey Dog: Now walk back into frame.

(the guys walk back into frame, completely bone dry)

Egon: That's it. I'm leaving."

"Winston: And we agreed to come here without our proton packs?
 * Winston says what I'm sure a lot of fans of this cartoon felt at one point or another in "The Haunting of Heck House."

Peter: That's right.

Winston: Sometimes I think between the four of us we don't have the brains God gave a doorknob."

"Egon: I take it you've all read Slimer's report.
 * From "Janine, You've Changed," after Slimer returns from spying on Janine:

Peter: Yeah, and the copy machine's never gonna be the same again. Yuck!"

"Peter: Say, Egon. Y'know, I just had a thought.
 * During a ride in Ecto-1:

Egon: You had a thought?

Peter: Yes.

Egon: Have a cookie.

Peter: Why?

Egon: It's how they train seals, Peter. Unfortunately, I'm out of fish."

"Egon: The prime motivator is a demon named Watt.
 * After Ray arrives to help out in "Mrs. Roger's Neighborhood":

Ray: Named what?

Egon: Watt.

Ray: I asked you first!

Peter: No, Watt is its name.

Ray: Don't ask me. Ask Egon.

Egon: This'll show you Watt.

Ray: Huh?

Egon: Nevermind. Let's just track it down."

"Egon: There. It should all be... *he pushes the power button on the pack, causing the spotlights to flicker for a second before the pack falters and stops from starting up properly* Sometimes I think the universe just waits for me to get cocky. *frantically rewires the pack*"
 * In "When Halloween Was Forever," Egon is separated from the others in order to implement a plan involving hooking his proton pack up to five spotlights in order to weaken Samhain enough for him to be trapped.

"Peter: What? What was it?
 * In "Ghost Busted," after a long lull of business, the Firehouse finally gets a call.

Janine: Somebody wanting to sell us swampland in Florida.

(everyone sighes)

Peter: It was probably my dad."

"Librarian: Is he human?
 * The montage of the guys and Janine try to get mundane jobs - Peter causes an explosion at a chemical lab; Egon tries showing off a used car, only to accidentally rip off its shoddy door; Janine gets overworked at an office; Ray finds the zoo too much for him; and some angry truckers flip over Winston's cab caused he honked his horn at them in a traffic jam.
 * In "Chicken, He Clucked," Cubbie (the creepy guy that really hates chickens) is spotted by Egon at the library with a book about the supernatural.

Egon: Unfortunately, yes."

"Morganon: I need you, but don't push it!"
 * After initiating an Enemy Mine situation, Morganon explains his deal with Cubbie that wound up banishing chickens to the spirit world. As Morganon rants about his sheer embarassment over this whole thing, Ray pantomimes to Winston that he's crazy.

"Morganon: Thanks, fellas. You may be a pain in the neck to my kind most of the time, but for now, I owe you one. See you around - well, uh, one of you anyway.
 * After the deal is broken:

(beat)

Peter: How come you guys always look at me when somebody says stuff like that?

Egon, Ray and Winston: No comment."

"Egon: I'll solve this equation if it's the last thing I do.
 * Egon is working on a complicated equation in the lab.

(Slimer comes into the lab to say hello, and slimes up the blackboard, ruining Egon's equation. He promptly panics, and thinking quickly, writes out a formula. Just in time, as Egon wanders back into view.)

Slimer: *gasp* Egon!

Egon: Actually, that about solves it. Except you misplaced a decimal point.

Slimer: (hastily adds a decimal point)

Egon: Not bad. Have you ever considered working for Carl Sagan?"

"Ray: Let's fry that floater!
 * In "Elementary, My Dear Winston," as the guys first confront Moriarty and his hound:

Peter: And Your Little Dog Too! (cackles)"

"Pilot: I've flown for 20 years. How long have you been flying?
 * Sherlock Holmes playing his violin... badly - so much so that even Moriarty and the ghosts in the Containment Unit are quite visibly disturbed by it.
 * This exchange between Slimer and the pilot in the episode "Take Two" when the pilot is annoyed by Slimer's flying:

(Slimer mumbles and holds up three fingers, possibly for three years.)

Pilot: Then why don't you GET BACK IN YOUR SEAT AND FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT!"

""No way am I that tired." (walks away, then stops) "Yes, I am.""
 * The funniest thing being that the pilot didn't seem to be bothered that Slimer was a ghost and got him to sit still just by yelling at him!
 * In "The Grundel," a very tired Peter finds Slimer sleeping in his bed.

"Peter: Anybody seen the principal?
 * After Alec tampers with the proton packs at a school, what was intended as a simple light show winds up trashing the gym.

Ray: No.

Peter: Good. And this concludes today's performance. Thank you all for coming! Good afternoon! And now we have to be going! Don't we, guys? Right! Bye!"

""Nobody messes with Melnitz.""
 * The way Janine makes Egon squirm after telling everyone else that she loves them. (Yes, even Peter.) After she finally tells him she loves him most of all, an appreciative Egon tries to act anything but, so Janine sics Slimer on him for good measure.

"Winston: So, why are we here?
 * "Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin" has a meta-funny moment. The GBs have set themselves up in a boarding-house out in the Poconos. We see the outside of the building (at night), with a close-up on one window. There are strange gurgling and growling noises coming from within. We expect to see a horde of beasts terrorizing everyone within...but it's just Ray, playing with his dolls and impersonating Frank Welker-voiced monsters.
 * The very first bit of dialogue is absolutely hilarious.

Egon: Billions of years ago, a huge explosion of--

Winston: (*blows whistle*) Whoa, whoa, time out! I meant, what are we doing way out here in the Poconos?

Egon: Oh. We're here because of (*indicates poster of Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin*) that."