The Magicians/Funny

"Josh: I am a Viking warrior! Cower before my might! Cower! The strength of Thor and all his mighty hosts flows through me! And I fucked your mother! I... fucked... your... motherrrrrrr!"
 * When Josh succeeds in casting an ancient Viking strength spell:

""I am the mighty Maker, and I now bequeath to you My Holy Power Tools, because I am too fucking drunk to use them anymore, and good luck to you, because when I get up tomorrow, they had better be exactly where I left them, exactly, even My... no, especially My belt sander, because I am going to be so fucking hung-over tomorrow, anyone who fucks with My belt sander is going to get a taste of My belt. And it won't taste good. At all.""
 * Later in the book, Eliot gets into a drunken argument with another magician who firmly believes that their magical powers are "the tools of God." Nobody in the room takes it very seriously, and the argument finally ends with Eliot making this little speech: