Scrooged/Funny

"Frank Cross: "You are a hallucination... brought on by Russian vodka... poisoned by Chernobyl!""
 * When Frank's confronted by his zombie boss he comes up with an elaborate rationalization.

"Lew: I was a captain of industry; feared by men, adored by women. Frank: Adored?! Come on, let's be honest, Lew. You paid for the women!"
 * Lew talking about his supposed status.

"Rhinlander: I want to talk to the IDIOT who !! Elliot: Oh, uh,  is the idiot sir, but uh... (turns to face tied and gagged  ) he can't talk to you right now because he's sorta tied up. Uh-huh. Oh, in fact, he just said that you were a flatulating butthead? Rhinelander: A Butthead?! Elliot: He said he never felt that way about a man before, but he really likes you in a certain way..."
 * The entire restaurant scene.
 * "Ah-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh...!"
 * After Frank douses the waiter he thought was on fire: "I'm sorry. For a minute, I thought you were Richard Pryor."
 * "It's a TOASTER!"
 * "IT'S A BONE!!!"
 * "I'm only four!"
 * "The bitch hit me with a toaster!"
 * Elliot Loudermilk's phone conversation with Rhinelander during :

"Frank: Hey. Are you glad to see me, or is this a shotgun in your pocket? (toss gun away; it fires) Frank: All right, you've heard it. How's this for a deal? I hire you back, pay you twice your original salary, and offer you a vice president position. Would you like my office? Elliot: No, I don't like your office. Frank: That's SO YOU!"
 * Just before that, when Frank and Elliot reconcile near the end of the film.