Calling the Old Man Out/Quotes

"Fire Lord Ozai: GET OUT! Get out of my sight right now if you know what's good for you! Zuko: That's another thing. I'm not taking orders from you anymore. Ozai: You will obey me, or this defiant breath will be your last! (starts bearing down on Zuko) Zuko: (draws swords) Think again! I am going to speak my mind... and you are going to listen."

- Avatar: The Last Airbender

""I'm sorry, Dad. I never would have tried to save River's life if I knew there was a dinner party at stake!""

- Simon Tam, Firefly

"Frollo: Now - now - l-listen to me, Quasimodo - Quasimodo: No, you listen! All my life you've told me the world is a dark, cruel place, but now I see that the only thing dark and cruel about it is people like you!"

- The Hunchback of Notre Dame

""But if everything you've been through with Mom and Eric and Grandpa and the literal forces of the cosmos hasn't made you want to be a better man, I doubt a one-liner from me is going to do the trick now. You are who you are, and every time I stoop to the level of engaging you with another tirade, I'm a little more like you and a little less like Mom. So, see you around, I guess.""

- Roy Greenhilt, addressing his father in the 500th The Order of the Stick strip. And probably the calmest example on this page.

""You want to die alone? Fine. You want to keep coming back and never die? That's fine too. In fact, I hope you go on living as the unhappy person you are in the hell you've created for yourself. I hope you live forever. I really do.""

- Peggy Hill, King of the Hill

"''Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had, And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye. He was big and bent and gray and old, And I looked at him and my blood ran cold And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!

"Now you gonna die!!"''"

- Johnny Cash, A Boy Named Sue

"Eddie: How dare you! You think I fought a war just so a mouthy little scum like you could call me a coward? Tommy: You don’t get it, do you? You fought against fascism, remember? People telling you how to live. Who you could be friends with. Who you could fall in love with. Who could live and who had to die. Don’t you get it? You were fighting so that little twerps like me could do what we want, say what we want. Now you’ve become just like them. You’ve been informing on everyone, haven’t you? Even Gran. All to protect your precious reputation."

- Doctor Who, "The Idiot's Lantern"

""What was that moment? I want to know that there was an actual reason! (...) That's it? You created a harem and played king? Ten years in a juvenile fantasy! What happened here, I should vent his head! But he's not worth the pull of a trigger. I don't know who you are. Because you're not any father I remember.""

- Jacob Taylor, Mass Effect 2

""Naw, that's okay! Keep talkin'! Keep talkin', daddy! That's the eulogy this old woman deserves! Oh she did this ta you, and now you doing this ta me! You've been doin' it our whole lives! And it's gein ol, it's gein REAL ol', ol' man! So get it out yo system, and sit down, AND SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!""

- Uncle Ruckus, The Boondocks

""Now, wait a minute! I may not be perfect, but at least I love my kids enough not to spend every minute of the day workin'. I'm a damn good father and that's more than anyone can say about you!""

- Peter Griffin, Family Guy

""Hey! When's the last time either of you were the American Dragon? Well as the little troll girl currently filling the position, let me tell you it's stinkin' hard! I can't imagine doing it two more days let alone two more years. And to think about everything Jake's gone through; he's had to save magical creatures on a daily basis, lie to his own dad about who he is, say good-bye to the girl he loved, all to protect a mystical world that nobody knows about. He may be the American Dragon but he is also a 14 year old kid who just wanted a couple days off. If that makes him immature, fine, but self-serving? With all due respect to both of you, STEP OFF!!""

- Haley Long, American Dragon: Jake Long

"Mike: (About Nathan's half-brother) It's complicated. Nathan: Try me. Mike: I didn't see the point in telling you about him; it would have just upset your mother. Nathan: Oh, more than you cheating on her, or walking out on us, and generally being a complete twat? And you never even tried to contact him? Brilliant. Yeah, first-class parenting there, dad, well done!

Mike: I thought about seeing him. The longer it went on, it just... got harder.

Nathan: And you wonder why he hit you in the head with a toaster and put you in the boot of his car?

Mike: He just turned up out of the blue! I didn't know what to say to him.

Nathan: Even for you, that is just unbelievably shit.

Mike: Like you never got anything wrong? We're not so different, you know.

Nathan: We are completely different! I'm gracefully tall, you're freakishly short!

Mike: Where do you get this stuff?

Nathan: I dunno, it just comes to me, I have a gift. So, what're you gonna do about him?

Mike: What am I supposed to do?

Nathan: You're supposed to be a dad to him!

Mike: Well, I don't even know him.

Nathan: Yeah, what's your excuse with me?

Mike: (Through gritted teeth) Everytime I try to work things out with you, you just throw it back in my face!

Nathan: (Voice beginning to crack) Don't change the subject now! We're talking about your other son!

Mike: The little shit should be grateful I am not pressing charges!

Nathan: You know what? He's better off not knowing you! I wish, I wish I was him!

(Mike gets to his feet, thinks for a moment, and then leaves)

Nathan: Where're you going? That's right Dad, walk away with your tiny little legs, you FUCKIN' midget! "

- Misfits