I Call It "Vera"/Quotes

"[Jayne walks menacingly towards Mal with a large gun.] Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time. And the best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun.

[He holds the gun out to Mal.]

Mal: [exclaims in Chinese] You offering me a trade?

Jayne: A trade? Hell, it's theft. This is the best gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy 'n what you got!

Mal: What I got? She has a name.

Jayne: So does this. I call it Vera.

Mal: Well, my days of not takin' ya seriously are certainly comin' to a middle."

- Firefly, "Our Mrs. Reynolds"

"Xander: Yeah, great knife. Although I think it may technically be a sword. Jack: She's called Katie. Xander: You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you."

- Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Zeppo"

"I stole her off the toughest kid I ever messed with back in school. He was dead at the time, so he didn't miss her. I call her Gladys after one of the sisters from school. She's almost lived up to the name."

- Marv, describing his favorite .45, Sin City

"Tip: Sorry, I've been rude. Unity? Sweetheart? I'd like you to meet Alice. Alice is a .38 Colt Commando service revolver. A classic. Sweetheart: What are you? Tip: I'm a psychologist."

- Skin Horse, "Dead Dogs"

Ramund took his great knife, the one called Dear Dimling. He took the emperor's life, and his head flew fifteen miles -- "Ramund hin Unge" by Týr

"Tonight... you pukes will sleep with your rifles! You will give your rifle a girl's name! Because this is the only pussy you people are going to get! Your days of finger-banging old Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece, this weapon of iron and wood! And you will be faithful!"

- Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket

"Oh my God. Who touched Sasha? All right... Who touched my gun?!"

- Heavy, Meet The Heavy

"Wheeljack: It's set and ready to go.

Roadbuster: I love it.

Wheeljack: It was never designed to be removed from the Trion so the power relay is bound to fry in seconds. You'll only have a few shots, so make them count.

Roadbuster: Do you think we should give it a name? I think we should give it a name..."

- Transformers: All Hail Megatron

""I know, but I already used Pointy and Stabby for my daggers, Slicey doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well, Impaley just sounds stupid, and I think we can forget about Slashy without going into too much detail.""

- Agent Foxglove, in The Official Fanfiction University of Redwall, when told Choppy was a bad name for a dueling saber, which isn't a chopping weapon.

""Hey! Wynnona has been very reliable. It's not her fault that she jammed.""

- John, Farscape "A Clockwork Nebari"

""Hiroshima-kun was an awesome name, I like personifying things I use to kill people, that's just me.""

- ARSENAL

""I will give you a name, and I shall call you Sting.""

- Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit

"Fenris: So who is "Bianca"? Varric: My crossbow. Say hello, Bianca. Fenris: But why Bianca? You must have named her after someone. Varric: Nope. Mirabelle was taken."

- Dragon Age II