Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (novel)/Funny

"Molly Weasley: Your father thinks very highly of Mad-Eye Moody. Fred Weasley: Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he?"
 * Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Ferret.
 * Harry Potter's secret heartache? What's ailing you now?
 * Re: Arthur Weasley's eccentricities:

"Skeeter: How are you? I hope you saw my piece over the summer about the International Confederation of Wizards' Conference? Dumbledore: Enchantingly nasty. I particularly enjoyed your description of me as an obsolete dingbat."
 * Divination homework, doing a month's worth of self-predictions filled with every human misery possible. "You seem to be drowning twice." "Oh am I? ... I'd better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging hippogriff." Made even better by the fact that Professor Trewlaney loved it.
 * Made even better, when you realize that all of his made-up predictions come true (in a matter of speaking) during the course of the book.
 * Harry never got trampled by a rampaging hippogriff, though.
 * However, he did almost drown twice. Guess you don't get any points for redos.
 * Just after Harry opens the egg and it emits a horrible screeching noise: George: "I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing. Maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower."
 * Hilariously so, he would be more or less right a year ago.
 * Dumbledore meets Rita Skeeter:

"Harry: Really, you shouldn't worry about what that Skeeter cow- er, sorry Professor. Dumbledore: I have gone temporarily deaf and have no idea what you just said, Harry. Harry: Erm... right."
 * Another case, where Harry and Dumbledore are trying to cheer up Hagrid after Skeeter writes about his being half-giant:

"Ministry wizard: Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these. Archie: I'm not putting them on. I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks."
 * The old wizard Archie, who, attempting to pass as a Muggle, wears Muggle clothing... which, unfortunately, happens to be a nightgown.

"Ron: Who're you going with, then? Fred: Angelina. Ron: What? You've already asked her? Fred: Good point. (calling across the room) Oi! Angela! Angelina: What? Fred: Want to come to the ball with me? Angelina: All right, then. Fred: (to Harry and Ron) There you go, piece of cake."
 * Ahem. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT8a9DUrd64
 * When Harry meets Percy at the Yule Ball and Percy mentions how he's been promoted "As if he were announcing his election as supreme ruler of the universe."
 * After Fred mentions the Yule Ball:


 * Especially funny compared to Harry's agony over asking Cho.
 * Surprised no one has mentioned how the Bulgarian Minister of Magic played like he couldn’t understand English just to play a joke at the British Minister of Magic’s expense. Who knows how long he did that before he finally let it slip he did know english.