J. Michael Straczynski/Quotes

"To the notion that there's no symbolism or ritual in the ways humans do things like cleansing oneself (unless, of course, you're from India, where there is a very real sense of ritual to these things), such symbolism can always be introduced into the routine.

Say, by showering with a chicken.

Works for me."

- jms

"Real space is very nice looking in places."

- jms

"How did they solve the strike? Vorlon arbitrators. Each side thinks it got what it wanted because it doesn't quite understand the terms of the agreement.

The game has started, it is too late for the hot dogs to vote."

- jms

""The exercise of vital powers, along lines of excellence, in a life affording them scope." It's not so much a quote as the Greek definition of happiness. I've always felt that contained just about everything you need."

- jms

"I understand your point of view that point of view is no less valid than any other point of view...and note that the point of view about point of view offered from this end elicited "I don't necessarily agree with that," because that point of view is not a point of view which coincides with your own point of view, thus is viewed by you as a not necessarily valid criticism, which fundamentally reinforces my original statement, from my point of view."

- jms

"There's little I could say about Jarvis' reviews for TV Guide that has not already been said about Jack the Ripper."

- jms

"When you ask a Vorlon a question, you get what you get."

- jms

"So you see, my problem isn't with humans, or our own inherent violence, but comes from expecting any god to have at least the virtues we require of our fellow humans... and not finding one. So it seems to me better and more logical that no such critter exists than to accept any of the described beta-test versions of Deity v1.0."

- jms

"I paid for this college education, and by god I'm going to use it for SOMEthing."

- jms

"And yes, I've read the bible cover to cover, twice. Some good moral tales, an awful lot of blood and violence, some real slow parts (anyone who can make it all the way through Numbers and Deuteronomy has my unbridled respect), some real potboilers, a few plot holes and an inconsistent hero, but overall, commendable reading."

- jms

"Since the universe is curved, there cannot be any truly straight answers."

- jms

"Given that, in contravention to general Talmudic practice, Ivanova got involved with Talia, I think it is fair to say that she has eaten many things that are not kosher."

- jms

"Yes, indeed, you've sussed it out. I am from the future. Unfortunately, I'm only from 15 seconds into the future, so it doesn't do me a bit of good, except being able to more accurately cut out commercials while taping The Simpsons."

- jms

"Who would I compare Kosh to? He's an ALIEN. He thinks like an alien.  He shouldn't be comparable to ANY human.  (Well, maybe Buddy Hackett.)"

- jms

"One mongoose can love another; that won't change its attitude toward pythons."

- jms

"Yeah, I love language, the way it can snake around behind you and turn into something else when you're not looking. The alchemy of metaphor and the well-chosen allusion. Banging words together is half the fun."

- jms

"Some folks catch double-meanings when they're there...some don't...some find double meanings when they're not there. Art is a participatory sport."

- jms

"If nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve, if deified I will not transmute...."

- jms

"I think the key element to any religion is that you gotta know how to make a good entrance."

- jms

"You just gotta learn to dance while life is throwing chainsaws and chickens at you...after the first few cuts and pecks, it's easy."

- jms

"...I think a large part of the problem may be that very often, if you deal with religion in TV, ten gazillion pressure groups from either side of the political spectrum jump up and down on your head until it's reduced to guava jelly. So folks get very tentative about the area.

Me, I've been on computer nets for 12 years, I'm used to people jumping up on down on my head until it turns into guava jelly...no big."

- jms

"Who is the greater foe?

It is always the one closest to where you live."

- jms

"We don't need no stinking rules as long as everyone understands I run the universe."

- jms

"What I love -- knowing that our EFX guys are now doing the EFX for Voyager and to some extent DS9 -- is seeing a ST fan's letter in the current SF Universe saying how much he hates B5's EFX and prefers Voyager's because we use CGI which looks faker than ST's EFX... which are, in fact, being done in large measure in EXACTLY the same way, with the SAME EFX that we pioneered, by the SAME PEOPLE.

You just want to go up to him and plink him in the nose...just one finger, just a plink, that's all...."

- jms

"My philosophy: find what it is you want to say, walk in the room, say it, and get the hell out.

Second philosophy behind that one: when in doubt, roll in a grenade and come in firing."

- jms

"I go for what someone at the BBC once said: "There are some people we WANT to offend.""

- jms

"I've been getting this a lot from people lately. "Oh, I just knew you from B5, I didn't know you had done (fill in the gap) until I was watching my old tapes the other day and...." Sometimes it's Murder She Wrote, but more often it's The Real Ghostbusters or Jayce or He-Man or Twilight Zone or  Captain Power or, well, pick one...which invariably gets followed by, "I grew up as a kid watching your stuff."

At which point I want to smite them with a very large mallet. Or a very large mallard, whichever is nearer at hand."

- jms, 27 Aug 2000, in rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5.moderated

"(And for god's sake get up off the floor, it's not the Martian Death Flu, it's the Tequila, I tell you, it's the Tequila. And stop doing that to the cat, you should be ashamed of yourself.)"

- jms, on psycomic.com, 1/1/2001

"Don't look at me like that. I told you it was sick and wrong. I'm as horrified as you are.  You want to know what's inside the mind of a writer? Stuff like that.  Also spiders, voles, leftover black light posters from the sixties, and several balls of string.

Aren't you happy you asked?"

- jms, on psycomic.com, 1/1/2001

"I have no life and I must scream."

- jms