Sue Mary

One of Fan Fiction Dot Net's most famous Trolls, or maybe a parody of Trolls, take your pick. Sue Mary is best known for writing what might be the first The Human Centipede fanfiction: The Huemn Ceniped 2 The Humen Milipede yet has also written "stories" for everything from The Epic of Gilgamesh to Arthur with plots that go Serial Escalation.

Her works have been MSTed by Telltale Fanfic Theater 3000. You can read the MSTings here (for Sue Mary) and here (for MarissaTheWriter).

Four stories written on her own account have their own pages on this wiki: The Huemn Ceniped 2 The Humen Milipede, Sherlock Homes vs. Jack the Ripper, Teh Screaming of the Lambs, and her self proclaimed magnum opus Love's Heartstrings.

The same person also uses the nickname "MarissaTheWriter" to write stories, usually longer than Sue Mary's trollfics. Currently there are three of them: ITS MY LIFE!, TEEN FORTRESS 2 and Invader Zim: Born Again Christian.

Sue Mary has favorited Oh Gosh No! Not Another Oh Gosh No! Story!, mainly for her appearance, and its author Insane Guy of DOOM, who is also the same guy who runs the two accounts. MarissaTheWriter has favorited Me in Invader Zim Oh Kami (which since then has been Lost Forever), Love Knows No Race and Oh Kami's author sinkittytail.

Sam B ecomes a Halfa1111
Sue Mary's first story, set in the Danny Phantom fandom, has Sam develop ghost powers while "fixin repears" at the ghost portal. Sam then decides to be "Stam Fantom" and fights a "ghetos dinosore" and later Dracula DARCULA, who then reveals himself to actually be "Hitlerd". Sam defeats him but gets cancer and has an operation which removes her powers. She and Danny then go on a date and have "sexk".

Zeke and Luther Skateboard Tragedy
The first Zeke and Luther story to be posted on fanfiction.net begins with Sue Mary explaining that "Zeek nd Loother aer alyaws wear helmuts but I dond think they wuld in reel lif so i maek story were dey dont and face TEH CONSKEUNCES!" Of course that's not what most of the story is about.

Zeeke Zeeje is killed when "him baord brakens" and at his funeral Luther Luterim announces that he was planning on proposing to him. Then ghosts goats attack the city and Luther "gotted a porton pack" and kills them all, including Zeeke's ghost by accident. A character known only as "it" then says "It was a hard tragedy" to the night moon.

Dragon Age: Orgins
Consiting of two seperate stories, Dragon Age: Orgins and Dragon Age Origans 2: Jonson verus Zombies are a retelling of the events of Dragon Age Origins from the perspective of "Commander Jonson" (or sometimes Joson, or Josnon, ect.) who is an "army guy" that ends up becoming a Grey Warden Grey Army Guy who sets off the fight the darkspawn "monster things". Notable that every characters name is misspelled (though this is a staple of Sue Mary's stories its particularly bad in these two) and features all manner of Canon Defilement such as Jonson "going super sayin" to fight an ogre.

Part 2 ends with a setup for a third story set in Hogwarts thought it has yet to written.

Arthur An Da Merder!
Claiming to be "a trial storee liek Jodi Picoult bookz" Arthur An Da Meder! has Arthur witness a murder and then accused of said crime. Despite the attempts of his lawyer "Feniox Rite" Arthur is found guilty and sent to jail where is regularly "rapped" and "beated up and other stuffs".

Fortunately his friends team up to catch the real killer, though "one of the dues" is killed in the process. Arthur is freed, but "had a harsh outlook on life form now of from the hard abuse of prizon."

The story was later expanded into Sue Mary's story Teh Screaming of the Lambs, which reveals the killer to be none other than Hannibal Lecter.

Cloudy With a Chance of HATRED
Starts off in Flat What territory by being a Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs story concerning "Racial tenshun running high in Swallow Falls," Crosses The Line when it is revealed "Marton Luter King 2" is the "leader of the blak strong hold". Crosses the Line Twice when Morton Luter says lines like "HATTERS GONNA HAT!" and "Run an tell DAT homeboy". Plus, "Flin's" father suffers "Alzhemers", which causes him to start the racial wars in the first place.

The Hangover Part II: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Sue Mary's "offisial rewrite" of The Hangover Part II, this time mashing the story together with Rise of the Planet of The Apes because "Hanged over is not good movee but Planet of the Apps is!".

The insanity begins with the "Hangover Gang" consisting of "Smart Guy", "Fat Guy", "ADDS Guy" and a tiger hanging out at a bar. ADDS guy takes drugs but "the needle was uncircumcised and gave him ADDS". While on his way to the hospital ADDS Guy finds a baby ape who he names Ceaser (becos it sownds cool), and donates him to science in exchange for a cure for ADDS.

From there things get into weirdness levels rivaling Comics Nix, with attacks by the "unaborted" love child of "a cooger" and Bill O'Reiley, a rap battle between Ceasar and Parappa the Rapper, and a final showdown where Stephen Jacobs uses his own gutted intestines as nooses to hang the apes with.

Dexter's Old Technology
In a twist that no one saw (or wanted to see) coming, Dexter (the serial killer killer) turns out to be Dexter as an adult. While working for the police to murder a serial killer named Tom Dynamo, he is informed that Dee Dee is "deading of kancerous". Dexter must return to his old home to see his sister's final hours.

Of course nothing of the sort actually happens. Dexter ends up running over Beaver Cleaver, getting into a drag race with "Lighting Queen", and being sent to prison where he teams up with guest stars Ricky Gervais and "Sasha Bearhands Conan" to escape from prison. Meanwhile Tom Dynamo's more evil brother, Joe Dynamo, is out for revenge against Dexter...

Needless to say, by the story's end Dexter has not reached Dee Dee's house.

Doctor Huh?
Allegedly a Doctor Who story, it instead follows Clark Kent as he goes to stop a bank robbery. However Clark tries to change into his superman suit inside the TARDIS and is recruited by "Doktor Who" to fight his evil twin "Doctor Huh". In the meantime they make fun of Commander Shepard, fight "trasscan robots", and Superman exposes himself to a group of schoolchildren, leaving them "scarred for life".

These authors provide examples of:

 * Artifact Nickname: Sue Mary originally was a parody of Mary Sues. Now she is more of a parody of trollfic writers.
 * Celebrity Cameo: Sue Mary is quite fond of putting celebrities in her stories. Mr. T appears in "Gottam Gridlock", Stephen Merchant and Dwayne Johnson star in "Tooth Fairy 2: Red Dragon Rising", Mick Jagger and Bilbo Baggins are villains in Hangover Part II, Zooey Deschanel and Stephen Merchant in Invader Zim: Born Again Christian, and Ricky Gervais and Sacha Baron Cohen are the "spesal guest stars" in Dexter's Old Technology.
 * Crack Fic
 * Darker and Edgier: Unless it's based on a work with an already dark setting, then it will usually be Lighter and Softer.
 * Dramatic Reading: They can be found here.
 * Hypocritical Humor: MarissaTheWriter often makes references making fun of MSTers. Insane Guy of DOOM ran an MST blog himself before joining Telltale Fanfic Theater 3000, one of the groups who actually did MSTs of Marissa's stories.
 * And usually the MSTers and people giving bad reviews will be called "falmer trollz".
 * Meaningful Name/Sdrawkcab Name: Sue Mary.
 * "Marissa" also follows this logic, as it sounds similar to "Mary Sue" and is an actual English name.
 * Marrissa is actually a reference to the Marissa Picard fanfictions.
 * Poes Law
 * Rouge Angles of Satin
 * Shout Out: The title of "Dexter's Old Technology" may be a reference to the infamous Beast Wars badfic, "Dinobot's Old Technology".
 * Small Reference Pools: Averted. She's written an Epic of Gilgamesh story.
 * Stealth Parody
 * Troll Fic
 * World of Chaos: Sue Mary's stories basically follow the same logic as Axe Cop, only without the justification of being written by a small child.