Skewed Priorities



""I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled.""

- Hermione Granger, Harry Potter

Despite what logic dictates, people can on occasion have priorities that are a little...off. Usually, this is to underscore how obsessed they are with a particular object or subject, though its also often Played for Laughs. The most common formula is exemplified by the quote at the top.

Can result in Disproportionate Retribution or I'm Thinking It Over. Compare with Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking. See also Honor Before Reason and Always Save the Girl. Compare Somebody Else's Problem, where everyone has Skewed Priorities.

Anime and Manga
"Izzy: Hello, mom and dad, the fate of the world, remember? My grades can wait!"
 * In Hunter X Hunter (2011) episode 117, the narrator explicitly states that Knuckle doesn't have his priorities straight.
 * Digimon Adventure had some fun with this one.

"Shamal: I don't really want Hayate-chan's house to get obliterated either... Chrono: We're not talking about damage on such a small scale..."
 * The Wolkenritter in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's sure got their priorities straight. When told that the Arc En Ciel, a weapon that distorts time and space for hundreds of kilometers to disintegrate everything in its range, is going to be used near Uminari City to get rid of the Eldritch Abomination, their only worry is, of course, how it would affect their master Hayate's house.

""I'm even willing to overlook the mental trauma you inflicted upon me when you stole my computer!""
 * In the Thriller Bark arc of One Piece, Luffy puts recovering the Straw Hats' stolen food on the same level as rescuing Nami and getting his, Zoro and Sanji's shadows back (without which, they will be vaporized by the sunlight). This is in keeping with his personality, as he is at one point unsure whether he wants the legendary One Piece or a Hercules beetle more.
 * In earlier episodes, he said a bard was more important to the crew than a medic.
 * There's a chapter of the Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei manga all about this. For instance, one character who is a hardcore Otaku, runs into his burning home to rescue various Moe merchandise he owns, but neglects his sister, who is still trapped inside.
 * The computer society president in the Haruhi Suzumiya anime shows this briefly when challenging Haruhi to a game to get his computer back:


 * Completely overlooked is the fact she blackmailed it out of him by threatening to frame him and his clubmates for gang-rape.
 * In To Aru Majutsu no Index when Touma gets pissed off at the villain of the current arc, Oriana Thompson, who is involved in a plot to brainwash the city, it's not the possibility of mass mind control that really upsets him, it's that her actions are interfering with the festival that's going on. This is because Touma tends to care more about the individuals than the long term consequences, but it still comes across as rather bizarre.
 * In Bleach, Hachi and Soi Fon are facing Baraggan, a Nigh Invulnerable Walking Wasteland. Hachi tells Soi Fon that they have to work together and combine their powers, or Baraggan will kill them. Soi Fon coldly declares that she will never work with a comrade of Urahara, whom she hates. She says this while Baraggan is advancing on them. Keep in mind that Baraggan has already disintegrated her arm. In the nick of time, Hachi promises to trap Urahara in a forcefield for a month, and Soi Fon finally agrees.
 * In the new arc, a new villain by the name of Ivan invades Ichigo's bedroom. Ichigo promptly kicks him out and then prepares to go after him. Ishida, Orihime and Chad decide it's more important for them to stay behind and eat up the bread that Orihime brought than go out to help him.

Comedy
"I find this morbid fascination with your son's death quite disturbing. What I am talking about is his attitude."
 * Rowan Atkinson's "Fatal Beatings" sketch, wherein he (as headmaster of a school) is describing the way he beat a parent's son to death.

Fan Fiction

 * In the Haruhi Suzumiya fanfic Kyon: Big Damn Hero, the Computer Society President finds it strange that Haruhi's biggest priority on Kyon's first "encounter" with Yamane (which ended with ) is Kyon's record, and preventing it getting back to Kyon's mother.
 * In X-Men fanfic Mutatis Mutandis by Artemis's Liege,teenagers Rogue, Anole, and Northstar are trapped on the edge of a battlefield during the Marvel Civil War, facing an armed Punisher. Rather than help explain the misunderstanding, Jean-Paul begins texting on his cell phone, not for help, but for entertainment, as a gun is held to his face.

Film
"Violet: Mom and dad's lives could be in danger! Or worse, their marriage."
 * The Incredibles:

"Lucius (Frozone): Honey? Honey: What? Lucius: Where's my super suit? Honey: What? Lucius: Where - is - my - super - suit? Honey: I, uh, put it away. [helicopter explodes outside] Lucius: Where? Honey: Why do you need to know? Lucius: I need it! Honey: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no derrin'-do. We've been planning this dinner for two months! Lucius: The public is in danger! Honey: My evening's in danger! Lucius: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good! Honey: 'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get!"
 * Also:

"Witchita: You're risking our lives for a twinkie? Columbus: Just humor him."
 * Zombieland


 * In The Producers, Max cries "Oh no!" after stepping out of the way instead of catching a little old lady, who hurtles away; however, it turns out he is upset because she forget to sign the check.
 * Early on in Attack of the Clones, Obi-Wan chews Anakin out for losing his lightsaber. Later on, when Anakin is trapped inside a wild droid factory with No OSHA Compliance, his lightsaber is destroyed and his response is "Not again. Obi-Wan's gonna kill me."
 * Played with in Lord of War: Andre Baptiste Sr., a dictator, shoots one of his own men with a gun that Yuri, an Arms Dealer, is showing to him. Yuri shouts "Why'd you do that!?", then follows up by explaining that Baptiste will now have to buy the gun since he can't sell it used. It's not a straight example because Yuri doesn't actually feel that way - he genuinely reacted to the man's death, then realized doing so was a mistake and made it into a joke to keep on Baptiste's good side.

Literature
"Hermione: I'm going to bed before either of you come [sic] up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse ...expelled! Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities."
 * Hermione Granger in the first Harry Potter book and film, who was typically more concerned with expulsion over death.
 * Lampshaded and explained in the film version:

"Gaila: It's why he’s destroying your legacy at the same time as he’s ruining your retirement. Zek: How dare he! Nobody ruins my retirement and gets away with it!."
 * This is also manifested in Hermione's boggart, which is not Voldemort, death, giant monsters, or anything like that, but failing all her classes.
 * Being fair, that's in early year 3, before her adventures with the group got really serious. By the end of the series Hermione considers defeating Voldemort a higher priority than her education, her parents not being mindwiped, and arguably her own life.
 * A frequent stock gag in Discworld novels.
 * Debated among a few characters in The Pale King as the IRS deals with drastic changes brought on by the Spackman Initiative. Focus on ideal output and civil service is shifted toward a free-market approach that attempts to maximize profits.
 * In Death: Some characters have demonstrated these. For instance, in New York To Dallas, when Isaac McQueen escaped and murdered a nurse in the process, the prison staff reacted by trying to cover it up. They showed no real concern about the escape of a murderous pedophile, and about the murder of one of their own employees.
 * The Ferengi in the Star Trek Deep Space Nine Relaunch, all the time. In The Left Hand of Destiny, Pharh is horrified to have stood up to Klingon warriors - he reflects that he could have been seriously injured, or even robbed. Then there's Zek:


 * Played with in one of the Starfleet Corps of Engineers stories; a character trying to violate his world's laws and contact the Federation for help is chased down, and the police plead with him to surrender so they don't have to shoot - which might damage the building he's in. The character actually feels pride and hope that they consider the building's health more important than his, reflecting that "perhaps there's hope for my people after all".

Live Action TV
"Buffy: You guys are going to have a prom. The kind of prom that everyone should have. I'm going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it. Xander: Yay?"
 * From the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "The Prom":

"Simon:"I would never have tried to save my sister if I had known there was a DINNER PARTY at risk...""
 * In the first two seasons, this was Cordelia's main character note: no matter what danger anyone was in, she would always bring up some completely irrelevant detail (usually of the self-centered variety) that she deemed far more important. She got better.
 * Amusingly inverted in "Out of Mind, Out of Sight", where Cordelia insists that a series of 'poltergeist' events occurring in the school is all about her -- only for everyone else to realize that the only common factor linking the events is that every victim of misfortune is in Cordelia's immediate social circle, making her the logical next target to attack. (She is.)
 * Firefly: Simon lampshades his parents' skewed priorities.

"Hammond: What do they mean by "obstacle"? Clarkson: Doesn't say. May: What sort of pies?"
 * One Top Gear challenge involved driving trucks at their top (limited) speeds through some obstacles and then braking. The prize for the shortest braking distance would win a year's supply of pies.

"Clarkson: Exactly! You'll win! You'll be killed, but you'll win!"
 * Then, in the same challenge:

"Marshall: Number one, supervolcano. Number two, an asteroid hits the earth. Number three, all footage of Evel Knievel is lost. Number four, Ted calls Karen. Number five, Lily gets eaten by a shark. Lily: I'm Lily and I approve the order of that list."
 * Clarkson, of course, feels that having an argument is more urgent than seeing the paramedics after he crashes through his obstacle.
 * On How I Met Your Mother Marshall lists what he thinks the five worst things that could ever possibly happen would be.

"Bowers: Sir, we are starving to death! Scott: And we are doing so with due deference to the English celebrational calendar."
 * In another episode Lily says that, if Ted ever killed her and dumped her body in New Jersey, she'd come back as a ghost and haunt him. Not because he killed her ("I'm sure you had your reasons") but because, as a born-and-raised New Yorker, she just hates New Jersey that much.
 * Barney once promised Marshall ten-thousand dollars if he'd let Barney welch on a bet; Marshall refused. Barney then offered to let Marshall slap him in the face instead; this Marshall found difficult to pass up.
 * That Mitchell and Webb Look has a sketch about Scott's Antarctic expedition in which Scott insists on only eating holiday foods on their appropriate holidays—thus, even though they're out of other food, they can't eat the Christmas pudding, because it's only August.

"Leslie: We need to remember what's important in life. Friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter. But work is third."
 * Fairly common on The Young Ones, as when a late-night visitor triggers an explosive device Vyvyan had connected to the doorbell, and Rick complains about the visitor's bad manners in coming around so late.
 * In Red Dwarf, it's a running gag that the Cat cares more about clothing than about his safety. For example, when he and Lister are captured by Nazis, Lister suggests stealing a guard's uniform to escape execution, and his reaction is: "Are you insane? Wear grey out of season? I'd rather hang!"
 * In another episode he was more worried that a simulant holding him at gunpoint would notice he was wearing the same outfit from the last time they met than being killed.
 * Used three times in Community episode "Epidemiology". First, right before zombies swarm the study room, Jeff asks if anyone managed to turn off the Dean's ABBA playlist. The second time is with the Cat Scare, where they abandon their plans of escape to resolve the cat issue. Then, when Jeff is about to, all he's scared of is Rich stretching his suit jacket.
 * On Parks and Recreation, Leslie's priorities are a bit out of whack.


 * A sketch on Not the Nine O'Clock News about Question Time being recorded as the Soviets are launching nuclear missiles at the UK—besides one Only Sane Man panellist, they spend the programme bickering about which party's period in government to blame for the crisis.
 * Deliberately invoked by Mr Moseby in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody when he finds out the twins have been climbing through the air vents. "They could have damaged the vents!"
 * In Sabrina the Teenage Witch Sabrina's Evil Twin causes a bit of drama that Sabrina gets blamed for. Morgan says she'll forgive her for kissing her boyfriend but it'll take a long time to forgive what was said about her outfit.

Music

 * In Lady Gaga and Beyoncé's video for "Telephone", Gaga is killing her boyfriend while Beyonce watches him die. After that, Beyonce's acting all upset about using the word "motherfucker", which was beeped out while she's putting her finger on her lips.
 * Jim Steinman's monologue "Love and Death and an American Guitar", released on the Meat Loaf album Back Into Hell as "Wasted Youth": the narrator beats people to death with his guitar, and is about to do the same to his parents "when my father woke up screaming 'Stop! Wait a minute! Stop it, boy! "

Radio

 * In a classic Jack Benny bit, in response to a robber saying "Your money or your life," Benny replies "I'm Thinking It Over"

Video Games
"The Illusive Man: Shepard... You're in my chair."
 * In the 1st Degree: James Tobin admits to shooting his business partner Zachary Barnes. He also admits to shooting himself in the leg to convince people that it was self-defense. If you make the right moves in the game, you will get to see the prosecutor Sterling Granger beautifully call out Tobin on this, pointing out that "As your partner lay bleeding to death at your feet, your first thought was to protect yourself?"
 * In Mass Effect 3, Shepard has . So when TIM shows up via hologram, what does he consider most heinous?


 * In Guilty Gear, May and her friend April don't seem to take the idea of a brutal battle to the death as seriously as they should; in at least one of May's opening scenes, April calls down from the deck of their airship to remind her not to forget the groceries.
 * Speaking of Fighting Games, entering a tournament in one of them is usually something you should think about first, seeing as in the storylines of such games, there's a very good chance you'll be killed. Thing is, many characters in such games have pretty stupid reasons:
 * Skullomania in Street Fighter EX. His backstory got a little better in later games, but originally, he was a salesman whose employers made him wear a really dumb-looking super hero costume for a promotion, which oddly enough, inspired him to become a crime-fighter. And  he seems to think Chun-Li, Guile, Zangief, and all the other fighters are criminals, because that seems his sole reason for fighting anyone in the game.  Still, he doesn't do half bad for a washed-up salesman.
 * In Street Fighter IV, most of the characters have some legit reason for entering. Some are trying to bring M. Bison's organization down, some are trying to make a name for themselves, and El Fuerte... Uh, he's trying to find new recipes (someone should tell him this is Street Fighter, not Iron Chef). Seriously, he thinks great fighters eat well and the only way to get them to share info on that is to fight them. Which doesn't truly matter because as his ending shows, El Fuerte is a terrible chef, even  E. Honda finding his cooking revolting.
 * Speaking of terrible chefs, Marshal Law in  Tekken 4 is worse. This guy had a restaurant chain, which failed, not only because the food was bad, but because he tended to deal with critics using physical violence. So he decides that the best way to reopen the same chain (which again, was never a success to begin with) is to enter a contest where he has to fight ninjas, robots, and demons. And, should he succeed, his ending shows that it fails again. For the same reason as before.
 * Johnny Cage's goal in the original Mortal Kombat, according to his bio, is to prove he doesn't use stuntmen or special effects in his movies. Seems a film documentary isn't as convincing as a brutal and bloody battle to the death in his opinion. Exactly how much he knew about the rules - or rather, the lack of them - of the tournament is debatable. The story in the comic shows that his agent warns him that the tournament isn't approved by any legit martial arts organization, while the retcon suggests he's completely clueless.
 * Norimoro, the Joke Character from the Japanese version of Marvel Super Heroes vs. Street Fighter is little more than a skinny, nervous high school student who can't fight worth beans (he's supposed to be a caricature of Japanese comedian Noritake Kinashi). So why is he fighting the likes of M. Bison, Wolverine, and the Incredible Hulk? Seems he's a Loony Fan of both factions From Beyond the Fourth Wall trying to get pictures and autographs.  No, seriously, if his quotes are anything to go by. One has to wonder if some of the good guys in the game aren't simply being nice and holding back to keep from killing him, although why the villains would do so only raises more questions about skewed priorities.

Webcomics
""I've used driftwood & detritus to construct crude sonar torpedoes & wire guided harpoons. Now to build a raft! My priorities may need work.""
 * Mad Scientists in Girl Genius understand exactly how important Christmas is and isn't.
 * They all seem to work this way:

- from Twitter log of Othar Tryggvassen, the Gentleman Adventurer.


 * Let's not forget how you can tell when a plan is a bad plan. It's even in the song Mama Gikka's girls perform for Jägers, if you look carefully.
 * Most halflings in Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic know exactly what they want from the world.
 * Luke Surl Comics has this one.
 * Minions At Work got Doctor Wallstreet. The lawn care is important.
 * In El Goonish Shive, the Principal of Tedd and Elliot's school thinks murals are more important than, say...working fire sprinklers.
 * The Packrat lives and breathes this trope. He sells his $2000 high-end Korg Triton workstation and then buys a vintage ARP 2600 with only one voice and no memory for $3000. He'd rather twist the knobs on a synth than those on his wife. He buys an anniversary edition Nord Lead just for the reverse keys and not for the sound. Only three of many examples.
 * Freefall has people without sense of priorities too (then again, this guy already ignored a hurricane warning because it's not on schedule).
 * This Oglaf story Quivering Flanks has a deer (presumably Caribou considering she is a girl with antlers) girl that has a fetish for having sex only after being chased down (even if that involves getting injured). After she gets a serious injury, she's too turned on to care about it.
 * The Non-Adventures of Wonderella has a cheesy case.
 * Schlock Mercenary cast usually remembers the two top priorities are "stay alive long enough to get paid" and "get paid" respetively, but there are strange cases. Captain Gasca (an uplifted orangutan) was established to have self-preservation instinct in working order, but then decided to [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-05-22 test whether Elf learned to restrain her temper] and [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-09-08 stay longer than necessary] on an object that received imminent relativistic collision warning. For Science!

Web Original

 * "Beer, shinies, death by fire, rats IN THAT ORDER" episode of Bastard Operator From Hell explores middle management's inability to prioritise..

Western Animation
"Dr. Nick: Well, we better leave him in there. Moving him now could kill him. And tire us out."
 * Happens numerous times in Gravity Falls. For example, in the episode Little Dipper, Dipper and Mable (probably more so with dipper) care about him being shorter when they should be caring about things like safety..
 * Also happens frequently in Rick and Morty, due to Rick's obtuse view of reality. The worst probably comes in "Pickle Rick" where he turns himself into a pickle simply to avoid family therapy. Quickly becomes a case of Didn't Think This Through that goes From Bad to Worse.
 * Archer
 * This is a big part of the humor of the show. Often, Archer will pause during a stakeout to order room service, during a gun battle to drink, or during either situation to have sex. In one episode, he insisted Lana tell him how much of a bonus check he got while she was scaling a building with plungers, and when she wouldn't tell him, climbed up himself to see it.
 * Lana is often no better. In one episode Archer suggested her boobs were sagging, and for several scenes (including one involving a gun battle) she insisted he elaborate on that.
 * The Simpsons:
 * In one episode, Dr. Nick was called in to advise when an old man froze himself alive inside the Kwik-E-Mart's freezer.

""One dollar for eternal happiness? ...I'd be happier with the dollar.""
 * In "Lisa's Date with Density" Homer runs a telemarketing scam that promises to give people eternal happiness if they send him one dollar. When the exceedingly wealthy Mr. Burns gets this message, he responds:

"Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad! Homer: Did you wreck the car? Bart: No! Homer: Did you raise the dead? Lisa: Yesss! Homer: But the car's okay? Kids: Uh-huh. Homer: All right then."
 * This is common for Homer. In "Dial Z For Zombies" of "Treehouse of Horror III":

"Jane: Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment? Homer: ...What kind of beer?"
 * In "Deep Space Homer" after Homer broke the handle off the hatch, he grabs a support rod to hit one of the other astronauts. The rod catches in the door and when it is pointed out that could allow them to return safely, he tries to remove the rod so he can continue the attack.
 * In "Burn's Heir" he noted that Bart being abusive to the family is one thing, but he would not stand idly by and watch him feed a hungry dog.
 * "Joy of Sect"

"Mer-Man: Why didn't you do that before?? Trap-Jaw: I don't like to snack between meals. Let's go!"
 * In "Treehouse of Horror XVI" he is possessed by the devil but is unconcerned about that because that means he doesn't have to go to work.
 * He-Man and the Masters of the Universe; one episode starts with Trap-Jaw and Mer-Man at Snake Mountain, having been assigned to monitor duty by Skeletor, who has also punished them for a previous mistake by shackling them to their chairs to make sure they do it. Then they hear on the monitors of a shipment of Eternium, and realize they could steal it in order to get back in Skeletor's good graces or even get revenge on him. Mer-Man tries to convince Panthor to give them the key, but Trap-Jaw quickly bites through the chains.

"Bender: This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it. (Everybody looks at him.) Also, life."
 * On Futurama:
 * When a member of Zoidberg's species has sex they die immediately afterward. When Fry learns that Zoidberg has to choose between a life without sex or a gruesome death, he says, "Tough call."
 * From "Crimes of the Hot", when they discover that Halley's comet is out of ice:

"Professor: In a matter of hours, there won't be no more fresh water on Earth! (Dramatic musical sting) Bender: Oh no! What will I mix with my scotch?"
 * Similarly, in "Benderama":

Real Life
"There's a tornado warning so I'm missing #BachelorInParadise. Rethink your priorities, @rtv6!"
 * Many, many Darwin Awards are subject to this trope.
 * "Darwin Award Candidates: TV viewers complain about missing “Bachelor in Paradise” due to Tornado Warning". With screenshots:


 * Tends to happen to teenaged drivers borrowing their parent's car. The usual tendency when getting involved in an accident which is not immediately incapacitating is to first make sure the car is fine, and only then check the occupants for physical injuries.
 * This Cracked list links to a number of real-life cases of this. Of particularly terrifying note, is the mother who locked her infant son in her car on a hot day. When rescue workers arrived, she refused to let them break a window to get him out, even as he started to show signs of heat stroke. Thankfully they just waited until she left to get her spare key and broke him out anyway.
 * Politicians frequently and heavily come under fire for having these, especially when they'll try to find some smaller project to increase their approval rating. One that was fairly common in recent years said to the effect of, "There's a war going on, and you're focusing on trying to ban gay marriage?"
 * "Buzzfeed feminist laments that Harvey Weinstein only raped white women". The title sums up the problem.