Wall Banger/Film

In the hands of a capable director, WallBangers are easy to avoid. These films didn't get so lucky.

'''Examples of Executive Meddling and Fan Dumb are not Wall Bangers. They should be posted on their own pages.'''

'''Examples will be highly subjective. Read at your own risk, and if somebody rants about a show you like, please refrain from making Justifying Edits. If they're wrong, just delete it.'''

Both 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later

 * 28 Weeks Later is one long Wall Banger mixed in with Shoot the Shaggy Dog. Two major points merit special mention: 1) When the protagonists' mother is found, she is found to have the virus, however she is a partially immune carrier. So the medical staff and the army put her in a room, by herself, no armed guards or anything, where anyone can just walk in and contract the virus. Let me say that again: the most lethal virus in the history of mankind with a kill rate of virtually 100% and an incubation period of seconds had ABSOLUTELY NO ONE guarding it to make sure that it didn't escape into the general population. 2) Because of the idiocy in 1, the virus gets loose. The army executes a procedure called "Code Red" to combat it. If you're thinking that Code Red is "confining everyone to quarters and shooting anyone on the street or in the halls because anyone who doesn't listen to the curfew must be infected," you're using too much of your brain (more than whoever wrote this movie). No, Code Red consists of herding all the healthy civilians, somewhere around 15,000 of them, into enclosed areas, using weak locks to seal the doors, turning off the lights, leaving them unguarded and defenseless, and then having snipers search the streets for the 4 or 5 infected that are running loose. Of course when one of the infected breaks into one of these dark unguarded enclosed areas, they quickly turn 1 infected person into 500 infected people. Snipers then try to pick out the infected from the healthy as the crowds burst onto the street. However this quickly proves to be an ineffective tactic, so they get the order to kill everyone, including people who are actively hiding, surrendering, attempting to evade gunfire, driving cars. You know, those things which it is established that the zombies NEVER DO. Eventually they firebomb and gas the entire population, complete with shots of fake remorse from the higher ups in the operation, as though this was something they didn't want to do, but were forced to by circumstance. Quite frankly watching the movie, up until the end, I assumed that the army WANTED the civilians to catch the virus, and the whole thing was some convoluted twisted plot to get a new bioweapon for the US. But no, the army was just that inept.
 * The way they kept the woman was only supposed to be extremely temporary, you could see them talk about it clearly for the first time as the guy broke in. Also bear in mind that it was behind unbreakable glass and only accessible to people with very high-level security clearance (which he had as it was necessary for his job). Not really sure what's meant by the "code red" thing, there was absolutely no time to quarantine people properly, they just did what they could.
 * Temporary or not, you're kind of missing the point here: the woman had a virus that had wiped out an entire country in just under a month. If you had a vial of something that, if even accidentally opened, could wipe out your entire state or country, in days, would you risk leaving it alone and unguarded for even a second? The statement that there was absolutely no security was incorrect, but given the threat level, the fact that only a keycard and a handful of guards down the hall who didn't even pay attention to anything passing them was the only thing keeping literally the most dangerous thing in the world from escaping into the population was idiotic. So far as Code Red: that was the plan that they had set up in advance. The plan was to put everyone in containment, and try to find any infected. If more people got infected, they bomb the entire city. That wasn't some spur of the moment response they came up with that was THE plan, and it was mentioned several times throughout the film. As stated above, the way they did it was stupid, because with all of those people in an enclosed area, as soon as one infected person breaks in, they've just made 500 more infected people. If they had told everyone to go to their rooms, lock their doors, and don't come out until further notice., there's no guarantee that more people wouldn't have been infected, however if one infected person breaks into a studio apartment filled with 3 people, by definition they can't make 500 infected people in a matter of seconds like they did the way they wound up doing it. They could easily track the infected in the streets, lock down any rooms and floors that were necessary, and pick off the infected at their leisure. Idiot Plot explains this better, as really, a whole lot of stupid stuff was done in this movie, and the above statement that this movie was Wall Banger mixed with Shoot the Shaggy Dog forgot to add in Idiot Plot and Idiot Ball.
 * They had the woman chained to a bed in a secure cell, which you could only get into with maximum security clearance. As soon as they realised she was infected, the soldiers immediately ran over there to execute her. They had about a 30 second window to do it, and there was apparently no reason to hurry. This still doesn't excuse the rest through.
 * If the soldiers had been ordered to "shoot suspicious targets", they would have had a bit more freedom to rock 'n' roll, but no obligation to slaughter everyone. They could have possibly saved most of the population.
 * 28 Days Later, for that matter. After narrowly escaping execution at the hands of the soldiers, Jim returns to the house for revenge, and to rescue Hannah and Selena from being raped. So why, why, WHY is Jim's first decision upon getting back to the house to shoot the infected Private Mailer's chain, which kept him from entering the house and killing everybody? Didn't Jim remember that the only way for Mailer to get out of the courtyard is through the doorway which leads into the kitchen area of the house? It seems that Jim thought Mailer could help him kill off the soldiers which were holding the women hostage, but did he EVEN CONSIDER that with an infected, rage-filled person running around the house that Mailer could chew off Selena and Hannah's faces before ever killing one soldier? And if Mailer did infect a couple of soldiers, might they not then try to infect the women?
 * Jim was just a guy going up against a house filled with trained soldiers. Freeing the infected was by no means a guarantee at success, but it leveled the playing field and raised his odds at complete success from utterly impossible to pretty hopeless.
 * Mailer provided a distraction for Jim. While the rest of the soldiers were dealing with Mailer, Jim would attempt to rescue the women. It's a desperate ploy, but it's all he's got at this point.

Alien(s)

 * The aliens' biology. The aliens are silicon-based rather than carbon-based. That's not the problem—silicon has the same tetravalence which allows for varied organic compounds. Using other organisms for incubation is also perfectly reasonable—it happens all the time on earth. But combining DNA with the host creature during the incubation period? You fail high-school biology. Gorillas and humans only differ by ONE amino acid, and how many human-gorilla hybrids have you seen lately? The aliens aren't even carbon-based; their DNA isn't going to be remotely similar to ours.
 * It's a sci-fi action/horror film. It's not supposed to have realistic biology. That being said, the real Wall Banger is how on earth would the aliens be able to survive/reproduce without any hosts for their offspring to live off of, or to use as a food source for that matter...especially considering they're shown to live in remote areas devoid of nearly any life. Aliens is a good example of this. We're shown that the titular monsters have pretty much killed everyone (Except Newt) on the planet and that there are hundreds of them. Let's do a little math, shall we? Overpopulation + Not enough food = Cannibalism. Why haven't the aliens begun eating one another? And, what about the unhatched eggs? Do they just sit there for centuries waiting for something to come by so a facehugger can latch itself onto it? There are organisms that can wait for a pretty long time until ideal conditions come along for it to survive, but this is taking it to ridiculous levels.
 * But Aliens don't eat humans! They use them as incubators. We don't know what Aliens eat. Maybe nothing. I see no reason a species we know so little about couldn't last indefinitely without outside contact.
 * Oddly enough, that's a case that does make sense if you go by the theory that the aliens are bioweapons.
 * Indeed, the inability to reproduce without hosts would be a feature, not a bug, in a bioweapon. Once everyone in the intended target zone is already dead, you don't want your weapon doing any further expansion. In fact, you want it to die off as soon as possible so you can use the now-cleared space for yourself.
 * It's not said that the creature is silicon-based, but that it produces silicon to harden its exoskeleton. How? Well, it's science-fiction.
 * Or it eats silicon to get the necessary roughage in its diet. Its not like there's any shortage of dirt and rocks around to chew on, and those things can eat anything.

Alien 3

 * In what is still considered the most controversial plot twist in the Alien series, the chain of events that started Alien 3. An egg containing a facehugger was somehow laid by the Alien Queen during the events of the previous film. This raises a number of questions about xeno(morph)biology and series continuity:
 * 1) How does an egg get laid upside down? (Answer: It gets laid right-side up and then knocked over.)
 * 2) Why did the egg open by itself when eggs were clearly shown to react only to outside movement in the first two films?
 * 3) How did the facehugger know how to get all the way from the cargo bay to the cryopods?
 * 4) How can a creature that is bleeding just a little acidic blood cause a big enough fire to evacuate the entire ship?
 * 5) Didn't the queen detach from her egg sac, which was mostly destroyed by Ripley, before going to the ship? How did she lay it?
 * 6) Most important: How did Ripley miss the egg in the first place?

Alien Resurrection

 * The Queen gives birth to another human-alien hybrid who thinks Ripley's its mother.
 * To further elaborate, the Queen develops an artifical uterus/womb of sorts due to having Ripley's DNA within her. Weird, but ok. Then, she gives birth to a human-sized alien-human hybrid (Known as the "Newborn" by the fandom). A bit unbelievable, but still fine. But, then, for no reason whatsoever, it pretty much punches the face off of the Queen and imprints Ripley as its mother. How...just...How? It doesn't make any biological or practical sense. Yes, some species do imprint on something other than thir own species as their parents because that's the first thing they saw. The first thing the Newborn saw, however, was the QUEEN. Notice a problem?
 * The conclusion.
 * The space station. Conducting bio-warfare experiments on a deep space platform makes perfect sense. It is isolated and there is no danger of anything escaping. Having that station programmed to return to Earth if there has been a malfunction does not, since that brings the biological weapons right where they're not wanted.
 * In an age where you still need to go to cryosleep to get to mining jobs, this black-ops military experiment ship is just a few hours away from Earth!

Avatar

 * The main character, being a sort of diplomat between the humans and the Na'vi who then joins the Na'vi for real, is told by his human bosses that if he can't get the Na'vi to move in three months, the army's going to have to use force. So, just to be clear - it would be in the best interests of both his Na'vi friends and his human bosses to try and strike a deal with the Na'vi people, or at the very least, warn them. Instead, for no reason, he just spends the entire time hanging out with the other Na'vi, enjoying the lush planet and his new athletic body, without ever telling anyone they have to move or die. Then, when the three month deadline is up, he pleads for the humans to hold off the attack. They tell him he has one night to try and evacuate the Na'vi before they come in using force. So, you'd think he'd tell the Na'vi now, right? Wrong. He spends the night fucking the leader's daughter under a sacred tree, never mentioning what's going to happen the following day. Then he gets all angry when it actually does.
 * On a smaller note, the hero says of Earth "there's nothing green there anymore". He seems to have forgotten that he fought in Venezuela, which was described earlier as "some mean bush", meaning there. Was. Lots. Of. Jungle.
 * That could just be a figure of speech. They tend to die out fairly slowly even if the circumstances that spawned them are no longer pertinent. Don't let your anger take the reins.
 * The concept of Unobtainium. We never learn during the film itself why it's worth $20 million a kilo after being mined, processed, and shipped on a route that would take 5 years to make a round trip. It's not like gold, which we originally valued because it was pretty; it's an ugly grey metallic rock. If it's useful, then why it is useful enough to send people to a Death World would be useful to know. You have to explain why the valuable rock, the center of the conflict in the story, is worth shipping all those military craft over for...
 * Apparently there was a deleted scene where it was explained that it was used as fuel for fusion reactions, but it was cut because they felt not mentioning this tidbit would enhance the world ALA the "Scruffy Looking Nerf Herder" line from Star Wars. Unobtanium is the MacGuffin that drives the entire plot. Then again, if there was a need or clear-cut use for Unobtanium given in the film, then many more viewers would be Rooting for the Empire—we're only human.

Batman And Robin
Batman and Robin caused such a huge backlash because of its campiness and disrespect for its source material that people exaggerate its lack of quality. But there are points:


 * Bane was shoehorned in as a third villain. Rather than being the intelligent criminal who crippled and almost killed Batman in the comics, he was a mindless thug who didn't even know how to talk and serves no purpose besides being a muscle-bound henchman.
 * There were characters surfing through the air on rocket ship doors.
 * Every single line spoken by Mr. Freeze, complete with Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent.
 * They explain Schwarzenegger's build as Mr. Freeze having been an Olympic Gymnast. Gymnasts are TINY and LEAN, not big bulks of Muscle.
 * The Bat-Nipple Suits.
 * Alfred protected his encrypted CD (containing the secrets of Batman) with a three letter password that is both a proper noun and the nickname of his sister, AND that is written on a picture of Peg sitting next to Alfred's computer. Granted, Alfred (somehow) foresaw the possibility of Barbara hacking the CD to the point that he loaded his own memory engrams into the Bat Computer to interact with Barbara and prepared her a Batgirl costume; but he was taking a big risk nonetheless. If some computer-savvy villain had gotten to that CD first...
 * There's also the decision to make Barbara Alfred's niece fresh off the plane from England (as opposed to Jim Gordon's niece or daughter). The problem? Alicia Silverstone didn't use any kind of British accent. No explanation is given. If her character was in Gotham City long enough to pick up an American accent—which wouldn't match her story—then the great detective would have known something was awry.
 * When Robin goes to infiltrate Poison Ivy's lair, he puts rubber lips on and allows himself to be seduced by Ivy. He then takes his rubber lips off, and proudly shoves it in Ivy's face that he tricked her. Then, after said trickery, Ivy pushes Robin into her vine filled pool when she could have kissed him right after he removed the rubber lips and taunted her.
 * Ivy gets the shaft again. When fighting Batgirl, she pulls out a knife. She then looks at her reflection in the knife and fixes her hair, which gives Barbara an opportunity to kick her into Ivy's throne, which has then become a man-eating Venus flytrap. What?
 * Bane is legendarily one of the only villains who has ever scored a serious victory against Batman. Instead of putting Schwarzennegger in the spot, they reduced the character to Dumb Muscle and shoehorned other villains in.
 * In fact, the film's only redeeming feature is that it kept Mr. Freeze's tragic origin.

Bratz: the Movie
Since its entire purpose was to sell dolls, the screenwriters who worked on Bratz: The Movie were more concerned with making an hour and a half long commercial than an engrossing and thought-provoking coming-of-age story. As a result, the plot could provoke a concussion and a head-shaped hole in a wall. Some of the more interesting bits:
 * Why are high school students allowed to play around with chemicals powerful enough to create small fireworks displays without the supervision of a teacher?
 * Why does Yasmin have an entire mariachi band living in her house?
 * Why does the head cheerleader feel the need to wear a tiara?
 * If Cloe's family is poor, then where does she get the money for all her clothes and the brand new moped that she rides to school? She doesn't have a job.
 * If Dylan is deaf, then why does he use sign language in only two scenes? More to the point, how can he speak without an accent?
 * Why didn't Yasmin just tell her friends that Meredith was blackmailing her instead of giving them the cold shoulder?
 * Why does the entire student body bother with listening to Meredith? Would you listen to some girl, even the principal's daughter, tell you on your first day of school who you can talk to and where you have to sit during lunch?
 * Sadly, many people would if she were perceived as high-up on the social totem pole. See Mean Girls.
 * If Yasmin's family is supposed to be Mexican, then why is their Spanish broken?

The Core

 * The Core has a scene in Rome where lightning chases people down the middle of a city street.
 * The premise. If the Earth's magnetic field fails—and it has many times in Earth's history and will do it again in the near future when it changes polarity—then the atmosphere would ionise through solar winds grating on it and create a new magnetic field, which would protect the Earth from further solar winds and similar things. That whole mission was unnecessary.
 * A thorough listing of its scientific grievances makes this reviewer proclaim that the film's So Bad It's Good.
 * The writers thinking that a mass email would be taken seriously.
 * Considering people forward chain emails to this day, and that various news outlets the world over thought Jeff Goldblum died after falling off of a cliff in New Zealand—word of which originally came from Twitter—that idea isn't unrealistic.
 * At one point, a protagonist asks why drilling down through the earth's crust would be any more difficult than space travel; a scientist replies, "Because space is empty." Er, no. No, it isn't.
 * The destruction of the Colosseum by lightning. It's made of marble and concrete, neither of which conduct electricity.
 * The lightning never produces thunder, only static.
 * The lighting uses a computer to redirect the entire U.S. power supply to Coney Island.
 * Some of the character deaths—most notably,

Dawn of the Dead remake

 * The survivors want to leave their safe, fully-stocked mall - which would have canned food, supplies, medical kits, radios, everything they could possibly need - to go to an island in Lake Michigan. They do not know if Steve's boat is still in the marina, if the island exists, if the island is uninfected, if they could even survive on the island, or if they're capable of driving across the city through thousands of zombies. They try anyway. Why? According to the nurse, "I don't wanna die here." Yes, they're leaving a perfect place to survive because the zombies freak them out. The island does exist, but this plan was shown to be flawed...
 * They all nearly die on the boat because they run out of water and gas. They have hardly any idea how to use a boat. If they had stayed in the mall, then they all could have survived a lot longer. Nice one, morons.
 * The mall was compromised by some bad decisions. To be fair, the survivors were acutely aware that they couldn't stay in the mall forever, hence their preparations for leaving. Rushing out to rescue one Too Dumb to Live survivor, perhaps. Trusting the Jerkass to keep watch on a critical door that kept the mall secure...
 * It stated in the commentary and effects featurette that the zombies were demonstrably falling apart. The longer the people remained in the mall, the more the zombies began to collapse on themselves. Before the attempt to reach Andy's gun shop, there hadn't been any security breaches in the mall proper; the only zombies they had to mop up were stragglers in the mall at the start of the incident. Why breach this security because you're disturbed by something that's over? The mall seemed to be well-stocked with food and supplies; why leave this when clearly you're leaving whatever necessities you need and already have in hopes that you'll find somewhere without zombies, without any proof? If the zombies are falling apart, then that is foolhardy; you could just wait till they fall apart completely and then strike out looking for somewhere else.
 * The scene with the blonde chick, Nicole, and the dog, "Chips". The dog gets out of the mall and proceeds to wander around in the crowd of zombies, who take no notice of it because, apparently, these zombies only attack living humans, as opposed to all living creatures. Chips is not in danger. But Nicole, Chips's adopted owner, steals the getaway truck, crashes it into the gunshop opposite, and has to be rescued by the awesome chess-playing gunshop-owner—who is zombified as a result. Nice going, moron.
 * They released the dog because they strapped foodpacks onto the dog in order to feed the starving gunshop-owner, Andy. Nicole flips out because the zombies enter the gunshop the same way the dog does.
 * She goes alone, with no plan and no weapon.
 * Andy is stuck in his weapon store, which is undoubtedly chock-full of weapons and ammunition. We've seen that he's a skilled marksman. Using his skills and supplies, he should be able to if not get rid of all the zombies in the city, then at least considerably trim down their numbers. Why didn't they try to do that, instead of a game of chess and Kill Waldo?
 * This is addressed in a bonus feature on the DVD. Andy mentions attempting to kill all the zombies that gathered but "for every one that died, two more showed up, like that hobbit dragon thing.
 * Which is itself a Wall Banger, given that it either a) requires intelligent swarming behavior from allegedly mindless zombies in that they can distinguish meaningful sounds from irrelevant ones or b) means that zombies will mindlessly flock to any noisemakers, which suggests an obvious way to decoy any amount of zombies away from places you want to go -- that the protagonists entirely missed using.
 * It also ignores that the # of zombies within hearing distance is not an infinite number, because the radius of sound is not infinitely large. It might take him longer to kill all the zombies that show up if the gunshots draw in zombies by the sound, but all that means is once he's finally finished they not only have clear sailing right out the door, but in the surrounding blocks as well.

The Day After Tomorrow

 * The Day After Tomorrow contains several moments. It never occurs to the survivors in the library that "maybe that tanker floating outside has supplies we can use" until after one of them gets sick! Also, captive-raised wolves crave human flesh...but only freshly killed human meat. Real Life wolves are smart enough to realise that "Frozen corpses all around" translates to "All You Can Eat Buffet!" And then there's running away from cold. They outran a wave of extreme cold and threw more books on the fireplace so that it wouldn't instantly freeze them to death.
 * Burning books for warmth when they are surrounded by wooden tables, wooden chairs, wooden bookshelves, etc. Books are horrible fuel for a lasting fire; they burn well, but they burn out in a couple of minutes tops.
 * They stacked the to-be-burned books directly in front of the fireplace, between themselves and the fire. That's just dumb—it blocks the heat flow, and if the fire leapt forward (as real ones occasionally try), it would've set the room on fire.
 * We also have the kids looking for a working telephone (and finding it!) and almost completely submerging themselves in water that must be just above freezing with absolutely no ill effects. A continuity error has them all dry one scene later in the exact same clothes. They swam around in near-freezing water and then walked around in sopping wet clothing and yet did not freeze to death.
 * Much of the science is questionable at best.
 * The space station crewmember who at the end said "Wow, the air is so clean!" or something to that effect. Someone should have immediately dope slapped the dipshit, or better yet, tossed his ass out the nearest airlock.

Die Hard films

 * Die Hard 2: Die Harder has too many errors regarding airplanes to list here. A random example: The inability of the planes to just go to their alternate landing field. Every commercial flight must have in its flight plan an alternate airport it can land at if needed. There was attempted justification with extremely poor weather conditions, but it still didn't work: Baltimore-Washington International is so close to Dulles Airport (where the film's set) that the controllers would certainly realize that something was amiss and take action.
 * And Washington National, Leesburg Executive and Manassas Regional, and military airfields at Ft. Belvoir, Quantico Marine Corps Base, and Andrews Air Force Base. Finding a runway for an emergency diversion from Dulles is not difficult.
 * For that matter, the Baltimore-Washington area uses consolidated approach control for ATC. Or in plain English, all the ATC for the various airports in the vicinity is done by one regional traffic control center, with the individual towers at airports restricted only to handling final approach at line-of-sight range and ground control. Meaning that taking over the Dulles airport tower should have given the terrorists control of exactly nothing outside Dulles airport (as the regional TRACON center for the Baltimore-Washington area is located in Leesburg, Virginia).
 * An average jet can still glide up to 150 kilometres without working engines.
 * Forget gliding. They had enough fuel to circle around Washington DC for 2–3 hours during the movie. In 2 hours' flight time from DC, I could be landing in Chicago.
 * Not too many to be listed at IMDB!
 * In addition, the plot point about only the hijackers being able to talk to the aircraft because they had control of the air traffic control tower entirely ignores that in the real world, there is a specific frequency band intended solely for use during aviation emergencies ("guard frequency") and every aviation radio in the world has this frequency band hardwired in. In addition, all commercial or military aircraft are required to keep at least one radio activated and listening to guard frequency at all times, even if simultaneously speaking to someone else on their regular radio. Regardless of anything the hijackers could do or say with their control of Dulles ATC, anyone could have spoken to all the circling aircraft at any time by using any aviation radio within transmission range. Such as the ones at Andrews AFB, the ones at Bolling AFB, the ones at any other nearby airport, or the ones in any parked aircraft near any of the hangars.
 * Or the ones the police department use to talk to the police helicopters.
 * Weren't these 'wallbangers' deliberate to avoid creating security holes in real world airports?
 * Some of them no doubt were. The alternate airport problem, however, isn't.
 * Die Hard 2 also has the ceramic Glock. No such firearm has ever existed, nor can it exist unless someone invents a springy ceramic small enough to fit into a pistol. This is absurd, and yet it led to real-life misconceptions among lawmakers afraid ceramic guns would flood airports.
 * Technically, you can use an organic filler in concrete to form a pseudo-ceramic (and still metal-detector-proof) spring, but right now they are at least the size of a car's strut springs. Carbon fiber strips might be able to handle the torque stress... but no guarantees. Oh, and the film was made and set in the early 1990s.
 * All-plastic guns have finally been successfully made by 3-D printers, and are capable of firing maybe ten or fifteen times before breaking! Of course, that took people until 2014 to pull off. This movie is set in, as just mentioned, the early 1990s.
 * Live Free or Die Hard is one big wallbanger if you know anything about networks and security.
 * Never mind that! One character is frantically hitting the numpad only to code!
 * If you know ANYTHING about computers, then that movie is wallbangeriffic. They might as well have given the villain a wand and had him do magick because he wasn't a hacker—he was a fucking WIZARD! Call it 'Die Hard Meets Harry Potter'!
 * Example of this villain's wizardry: This fella designed the secret computer to download all the financial info in America (itself a mind-boggling task) when the Internet goes down. How?! With what?
 * That film inspired this Penny Arcade.
 * This film would be the one where helicopters are being killed with cars and a fighter aircraft tries to engage a big rig with its forward weapons—and you're worried about inaccuracies with the IT aspects?
 * Actually, the only thing CG in the scene where the helicopter gets taken down are it's rotor blades. They threw a real car at it. Same with the scene where John and Matt hide between two cars to avoid a flying one, THEY are digitally inserted into the scene. As for the jet thing...well it looked awesome, right?

Final Destination films

 * In one scene of Final Destination 2, Clear explains that  The guy narrowly avoided explosions, electricity, and an oncoming train, for goodness sakes!
 * Nowhere is it explained how the main protagonist gets the vision(s) of death that kicks off each movie. Usually in fiction, when someone gets a vision of their death out of the blue, it's a sign that they're meant to Screw Destiny and prevent that death from happening (see Early Edition for a prime example). So why is the Grim Reaper being such a spaz over it? Yeah, there's the whole thing with Balancing Death's Books, but what's the point if some cosmic force is trying to unbalance them on purpose? Either Death has no idea that a higher being is trying to screw with his kills, or he is the source of the visions and is just being a dick about it.
 * In all of the movies, it's established that if you were saved from death by the main protagonist's vision, then you will die unless you "cheat Death" - usually by injecting yourself with a suicide syringe and having your buddy restart your heart shortly afterward. Okay...but in one of the movies, one of the secondary characters tries to take his own life to avoid Death killing him off; he fails, supposedly because Death himself prevents it. What?! First, since Death could prevent someone's suicide, then he can actively interfere with someone's death if he so wishes; so why doesn't he step in and make the "suicide injection" of the protagonist at the end of the movie unrecoverable and truly suicidal? If he just got fooled in the first movie, it would be understandable; but it shouldn't work every single movie. Second, the gun-suicide guy was trying to take his life "out of order" in Death's book, which would be fine if the second movie didn't clearly state that Death had reversed the order of their deaths, which means that Death can change his reaping schedule at a moment's notice. Further proof that he's either messing with the survivors for a laugh or is the most inept Grim Reaper ever devised (even more than the ones from Irregular Webcomic).
 * The mortuary scene from the first movie. Setting aside the Wild Mass Guessing that the caretaker could have been Death personified, these kids could have been arrested on the spot for breaking and entering and on suspicion of desecrating the body.
 * The fourth movie completely kills any logic the franchise had with how "Death's Plan" is supposed to work thanks to one character: Jonathan Grove.
 * You guys missed it: he'd died in the vision because the other characters asked him to change seats. He's  hence he wasn't killed instantly, only injured by the collapse.
 * If you want a real Wall Banger for the 4th movie, try timing how long the racecars keep smacking into one another on the track. Did the pit crews strip them down so thoroughly for speed that they even took out the brakes?
 * No mention of 3's stupidity? In the premonition,
 * The wiki made an attempt to explain this.

Godzilla, American remake (1998)

 * Godzilla makes cars jump in the air with every step as it approaches, but burrows through the subway system unnoticed.
 * The Army sets a trap with truckloads of fish. When Godzilla comes to eat it, they just gawk. Then their computers fail, so they open fire. Did they lose the script the day before shooting?
 * They made a semi-realistic-looking monster, no worse than many in modern video games—racing along against a highly unrealistic-looking New York City skyline. If you won't do CGI right in a live-action movie, don't use it!
 * The scientist guy buys a bunch of home pregnancy tests, tests Godzilla, and then finds out Godzilla is pregnant... and is SHOCKED! So SHOCKED because he thought it was male! Even leaving aside that there is no way a human pregnancy test would work on an egg-laying creature, if he didn't at least suspect it was female and maybe pregnant, why was he using the test on the samples? He then declares Godzilla is still male despite being pregnant.
 * Determining gender in reptiles requires an expert examination, one which very few no scientist in his right mind is going to attempt on Godzilla. Still, the presence of eggs demands that Godzilla be female, even if one considers that gender isn't an issue for reproduction in Godzilla's species.
 * Godzilla went to Big Applesauce in order to SPAWN! Are you kidding?! This runs completely counter to the spawning behavior of just about any real migratory organism. What's irritating is how geographically unrelated New York is to French Polynesia; there is no logical reason for the monster to choose that site as a breeding ground.
 * The director repeatedly forgot that helicopters can go up as well as along.
 * Godzilla shows up for only twenty minutes in its own movie.
 * Ask ANY Physicist what would happen if an animal of Zilla's size were to run. Go ahead, ask. It would not be pretty—for the animal. To be specific, if Zilla were to trip and fall while running, his/its organs would pretty much explode upon impact (Imagine dropping a water balloon filled with red Kool-Aid to the ground to get a good idea of how it'd look) and kill the poor creature instantly. It's one of the main reasons why large animals like elephants, Sauropods, etc. (for the most part) rarely/never run.
 * The makers of the remake were trying to make a more "realistic" Godzilla. Guys, when the Japanese version of Godzilla (with all its known scientific inaccuracy) has fewer examples of You Fail Biology and Physics Forever, than your version, you've got yourself an Epic Fail! Yes, they tried to make their version more realistic than its predecessor and ended up making it less realistic.
 * The infamous "Napalm Breath" scene. Basically, Devlin and Emmerich decided to remove Godzilla's Thermonuclear Breath because they felt it wasn't realistic. However, there's a scene in the movie in which Zilla breathes/roars at several cars causing them to burst into flame. So, um, how did that happen? Seriously, it's never explained in the film what causes the cars to explode. Ok, Mr. Devlin and Mr. Emmerich, if you're going to remove Godzilla's trade-mark ability, then you also need to do either one of two things. Either-A.) Give us an explanation as to why Zilla's breath causes the cars to explode or B.) completely remove said scene.
 * The thing about the "Napalm Breath" was that Emmerich and Devlin, as you note, didn't want Godzilla to have any breath weapon at all. After fan outcry, they relented and added the napalm effect at the last minute. No one mentions it because it wasn't supposed to happen.

The Happening
""It's an act of nature, and we will never fully understand it.""
 * In M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, this "happening" is caused by plants releasing an airborne chemical so they can protect themselves from humans. This leads to a handful of moments, including a scene in which the main characters try to outrun the wind.
 * The Power of Love was apparently able to stop the plants. (In the original script, this wasn't just subtext.)
 * For all the plants to attack at the same time, it would need to be an organized conspiracy, meaning that plants are sentient. Someone in the movie did say they can talk to each other. Oh, and the explanation given by the scientists in the movie?


 * Myth Busters dealt with a theory similar to this. It's called Primary Perception, and it essentially states that all living things are sentient and have some sort of empathic and telepathic link to each other. But they did bust it.
 * Why would competing species of plants gang up to harm humans? That's like deer and wolves teaming up to attack people.
 * The plants' gases are evidently triggering a "suicide switch"—or rather, a "switch" that drives humans to commit suicide—within the human nervous system. No such switch exists. If it ever had, then Nature would have gotten rid of it long ago—Nature has had thousands of years to develop things that trigger anything that drives one to self-annihilation.
 * The plants' sudden ability to release the toxin is explained this way: since they can't move to defend themselves, they evolved the ability to evolve spontaneously. This is like when Jet Jaguar reprogrammed himself to be able to grow enormous—but worse.
 * Why would plants stop at humans? Animals have also caused catastrophic environment damage. They could have taken out the feral rabbits of Australia.
 * Then there's the Family-Unfriendly Aesop this movie presents. Mother Nature starts brainwashing us into committing increasingly gruesome suicides, and we're the bad guys. Worst. Mother. Ever.
 * This is an environmentalist movie about the dangers of not caring for our planet, but every single human environment was unrealistically pristine. The protagonists flee from nature through rolling green hills and breathtaking fields. Even in the big cities, everything is verdant and unrealistically clean. Does anybody remember seeing ANY trash on the street in either New York or Paris in this film? Emissions are the environment's biggest enemy, so why did they go to so much trouble portraying people rollerblading and biking everywhere? This is the cleanest environment in a movie about pollution ever made. Granted, the event begins near Central Park and Tuileries Garden, but you'd think they could show some smog or something to drive home why the planet suddenly turns mass-murderer.
 * The planet is a Complete Monster, that's why it does it. It's an environmental movie where the environment is a Villain Protagonist. And that makes it a Wallbanger.
 * The main characters realize that the plants are targeting large groups first. What's the next line, not even a minute later? "Stay in groups!" The plants don't need to remove their survival instincts; there's nothing to remove!

King Kong (2005)

 * King Kong makes off with Ann in the 2005 remake - in the dead of winter. She's wearing only a flimsy cocktail gown. And then Kong takes her to the top of the Empire State Building. It should have been more than cold enough to kill her all the way up there - especially after he puts her down.
 * She should probably have been blown off the rooftop by the wind.
 * The infamous "Ice Skating" scene. Just...why? Oh, right...BigLippedAlligatorMoment.
 * How was Kong planning on mating with her? Romantic love is, in real life, unique to humans. What was Kong thinking? There is no way to fit his tab in her slot, there is no way she could carry his offspring... then again, judging by the scene where he shakes her like a paint can and she remains unharmed, she is Made of Iron.
 * Maybe Kong was just thinking of her as has cute widdle bitty pet hairless monkey...
 * Given that Peter Jackson used the real life story of the gorilla Coco, who adopted a kitten, that probably was the intended effect.
 * Anne doesn't spend the movie screaming in the remake when she's captured by Kong. Say what you want about women's rights and stereotypical gender-specific roles in movies, but she is too calm by half. Heck, she is assertive with Kong a few times when they're in the jungle together.
 * Hell, anyone, regardless of gender, would scream and cry and soil themselves if grabbed by a giant primate. Anne, by not having normal human reactions to being captured by a giant gorilla, is obviously a sociopath.
 * Not necessarily a sociopath, but suffering some kind of mental illness, yes. Then again, wasn't Anne suicidally depressed back at the beginning of the movie?
 * Alternately she's just in shock and isn't treating any of this as real danger because the numbness hasn't worn off yet. This is actually a real-world syndrome: "disassociation".

The Matrix

 * How could the traitor secretly enter the Matrix on his own to negotiate with Mr. Smith, when the fact that you are incapable of getting out of the Matrix on your own is a very important part of the movie? (Because this is how the traitor can kill the rest of the crew, once they are in the Matrix and he is outside it.) The scene with the in-Matrix negotiation happens in a vacuum - we are not supposed to think of how he got there.
 * On the "how did the traitor leave" solution, remember, The Matrix can free people of it's own volition. This is how the "first" survivors managed to create Zion. As for everything else...well yeah, it's an Idiot Plot.
 * How did the Traitor get in?
 * Remember that you can communicate with the Matrix from an outside phone line. So, all he needed to do was call Agent Smith from an outside line and ask to be let in for a meeting. You only need an operator to hack you a connection if you're actually hacking—if the System is cooperating with you, the only thing you need to do is lie down on a couch and stick in the plug.
 * On the issue of unmonitored goings on in the Matrix, along with Cypher's dealings, how about Bane? If an operator had watched Smith copying over him, surely he would have forcefully unplugged him and killed him? or at the very least not unjacked him from the Matrix until he knew what was going on?
 * It seemed like Smith was waiting for the transfer to begin before the copying.
 * Why would the machines use humans as their energy source, and not, say, pigs? And why would the humans be kept in an artificial world, instead of just be asleep?
 * Never mind pigs. Zion is powered through geothermal energy. The sentinels are armed with powerful drills. So why couldn't they have used said drills in retrieving said geothermal energy instead of raising People Farms, thus preventing the war? Sure the plot would have then been resolved in less than an hour, never mind three two hour intervals, but it would have been resolved with billions of lives still intact.
 * Originally, the idea behind humans powering machines was that their brains' processing power would be harvested. Human brains are essentially super computers. Squishy, organic super computers that need oxygen and food to survive. This is why the machines were willing to keep them in their little harvest pods. But for the brains to function at a high enough level to power the machines, they would need to be doing something. So the machines created the matrix which gave the humans something to think about and focus on, thus keeping them sufficiently active. This makes a lot more sense than what we ended up getting and was later an idea used really well in Dollhouse, that Joss Whedon show that no one remembers. So why was this concept changed to the stupid one we got in the movie? Because Warner Brothers didn't think that viewers would be able to comprehend the idea of brains being harvested for processing power.
 * Of course that still would have begged the question of why the machines would keep humans around at all instead of simply using much more advanced mechanical computers but it would have been a better explanation.
 * The assumption would be that the machines didn't have more advanced mechanical computers. In other words, there remained something about naturally evolved human brains that the machines had not yet managed to comprehend, reverse engineer, replicate and improve, and this something (most likely involving subconscious processes of some sort) was more effective at whatever task the machines wanted the Matrix to do for them than any other alternative the machines had access to.* Humans require feeding, maintenance, a pod full of machinery, and, apparently, enough computing resources to give them a full simulation of reality. All the humans do in return is convert food into low-grade heat. It would be vastly more efficient (and easier) for the machines to take whatever they're feeding to the humans and use it for biofuel.
 * If the Zionists give their geothermal technology to the machines, they'll have no more reason to keep the humans around.
 * A possible answer is that Human bodies are used as batteries, which are not power source, but power storage device. The power Machines use comes from the same source as Zionites' power: Morpheus even mentions geothermal energy in the first film. As to why the Matrix was created for the Humans in the first place: from the Architect's speech and the Animatrix some have deduced that the Machines are actually keeping humanity in existence, which at the same time maintaining and patrolling it with brutal force, protecting humans from themselves (I, Robot style).
 * They're apparently feeding them liquefied dead people (which is another wall banger).
 * Now, to be fair, they never said that was all they fed the human batteries. Perhaps the machines also turned the entire biomass of the planet into coppertop-food, and the corpses are just a little extra recycling in action.
 * Silly futuristic robot intelligences can't simply launch a large number of solar panel satellites and microwave the energy down to a ground-based collector?
 * Or even better, the machines could have just launched themselves into orbit. They could have spent eternity roaming the entire solar system at their leisure. Thousands of sci-fi books deal with this topic and the machines would be much better suited to that environment.
 * If the artificial Matrix world is kept forever "at the pinnacle of your civilization," as Mr. Smith says - an artificial 1990s, before the war with the machines - then how do they reset it? Because obviously time must be moving forward in the Matrix. And unless you want it to replay the machine war and come to an end, you have to start it over - but you have billions of plugged-in humans to deal with. Mr Smith says that humans went crazy and died in the first Matrix version, an unnatural utopia - imagine how crazy they would go after suddenly finding themselves in reset lives.
 * The machines can erase and alter the memories of people in the Matrix if they want too. That was part of the deal that Cypher made assuming the machines would have actually honored it. Of course that can bring up more head banging when you ask why they don't just do that with the whole lot of potential trouble makers.
 * They probably reboot the system every couple of years, repeating a rough decade or so ad infinitum. Which goes a long way towards explaining Agent Smith's cabin fever, as he's forced to perform a Sisyphysian task over and over again.
 * Leaving Maggie, the medical officer, all alone in the infirmary with Bane. Result: her entirely avoidable death. Granted, I'll give most of them a pass on not knowing that Bane was possessed by Smith at the time, but still it was painfully obvious that 1) something was terribly wrong with him and 2) it was more than likely he was the one that set off the EMP, dooming his shipmates. While I'm sure Maggie was the sort who could look out for herself under most circumstances, this was one situation where someone should have been there to watch her back; she would still be alive if there had been.
 * They're also at battle stations due to the war going on at the time, which means everybody else has to be at their posts. Those ships don't run with large crews, they probably didn't have anyone to spare.

Minority Report

 * Minority Report: In a World where everything from subway trains to billboards routinely scans the eyes of passersby and automatically reports wanted criminals to proper authorities, one would assume that security in the police headquarters would be up to par. But after the Pre-Crime cop John Anderton has been declared a wanted criminal, nobody reprograms the retinal scanners in police headquarters to revoke his access credentials. This allows him to use his removed eyes (that he kept in a bag) to steal the titular MacGuffin, which puts the entire Pre-Crime program into jeopardy. Granted, that glaring lapse in security may have been a Evil Plan by the Big Bad to . But after Anderton has been captured and incarcerated, his wife uses the same security hole again to bust her husband out of jail.
 * This assumes that Anderton DID break out. Remember that the jailer told him as he was going under, "It's actually kind of a rush. They say you get visions; that your life flashes before your eyes. That all your dreams come true." Considering it's based on a story by Philip K. Dick, it's amazing more people don't think it's All Just a Dream.
 * It's unlikely to have been a dream.
 * Dream or not, why didn't the security system require the eye-scanner to check for pupillary response to light? Presumably Anderton wasn't the first guy in history to use a dead eye to try and fool a scan.
 * Cracked pointed out a massive plot hole. A crime goes unknown because the killer murders someone that was already going to be killed. Since it happened in the same way near the same time, the Cops past it off as an "afterthought." The problem here is that whenever a pre-crime happens a ball with the killer's name on it pops up...
 * It is stated by one character that these "minority reports" are normally disregarded and destroyed. So it is not inconceivable that the balls appearing along with these visions are treated as part of the flaw and similarly discarded.
 * Except nowhere in the movie do the echoes or visions of previous murders produce balls with the victim's and killer's name on it. This 'echo' should have produced balls that the real echoes did not. Even if all echoes did produce balls, the ball for the killer would have a different name. How exactly could the techs disregard that?
 * Perhaps the names only appear when the precogs' vision shows faces. Recordings of visions could be subjected to the same identity-scans as are used throughout the film, but both the attackers in the crucial vision wore masks, meaning only the victim's identity could pop up on a ball.
 * Besides, seems like that to trigger the alarm and activate the system, the Hive Mind of the precogs must be working - Agatha's afterthought which moves the plot had no impact, but the murders which end up being "broadcast" by all three precogs do.
 * There's the possibility that they just were too lazy to reprogram their system to no longer accept Anderson's eyes for access. It seemed to have been the first time someone with access like that had been arrested, he was locked up and in some sort of an induced sleep-like state, and no one probably suspected that his wife thought to hold on to one of his bloody eyeballs. Without any sort of precedent like that, it's not impossible that it slipped their minds.
 * There's also the very premise that, apparently you can be arrested and imprisoned for life, without trial, because a machine says you were going to kill somebody. In Real Life, even attempted murder doesn't warrant a life sentence. Wouldn't something like that warrant more, rather than fewer, safeguards to prevent abuse?
 * Isn't that kind of the entire point of the story..?
 * The threat of Precrime "going national". In the film, there are exactly three precogs who were created by accident, and whose range appears to be limited to a few miles radius. There's absolutely no way conceivable that Precrime could "go national" with the facts presented in the film.
 * Unless there was some sort of secret plan to create more precogs. Considering how the original three got their powers, that would be quite nasty.
 * Maybe there are a bunch more pre-cogs anyway, but they are all haloed, or possibly in lunatic asylums doped to the eyeballs on ephemerol "liquid cosh?"

Phantom of The Opera

 * Just how bad is Joel Schumacher's version of The Phantom of the Opera is a matter of taste, but it's hard to justify the scene where Raoul subdues the Phantom (a man he knows to be an extortionist, stalker, and murderer) in a swordfight and, after only a token protest from Christine, lets him go instead of killing him or turning him over the authorities, as any sane man in his position would have done.
 * And then goes home to plan a Zany Scheme to catch the guy he just let go! Because apparently Christine thinks beating a guy in a duel fair and square is dishonorable, but what they were planning to do during Don Juan Triumphant was not—it's a Zany Scheme that uses Christine as the bait, no less. Way to protect the girl, Raoul. (Note that in the stage version, said scheme is proposed earlier in the plot, and only employed because no better options present themselves.)
 * Christine spends years under the impression that her father has been coaching her as a ghost. Fair enough, she's a naive young girl. She tells Meg and Meg dismisses it as her imagination. Again, fair enough, that's reasonable for someone to think. Christine is taken away by the "Angel of Music" (who she still believes to be her father's ghost), sees that he has a mannequin of her in a wedding dress, sees his horribly disfigured face, and is frightened by him. She is apparently missing for long enough that people notice and get upset. Then Christine is sent back and doesn't tell anyone. She stays quiet about it until she thinks Raul is in danger, and even then just tells him some vague stuff about the Phantom. Did it not occur to her that if she told some people what happened, there was a better chance of her being safe from the Phantom? Did it not occur to her that there was something a little odd about her "father's spirit" lusting after her and trying to kidnap her? And why doesn't Meg tell anyone what Christine told her, especially when the Phantom's activities became more apparent? Did she not think anyone would care that her best friend was being contacted by what was possibly the Opera Ghost?
 * I believe the idea is that Christine is conflicted about her feelings towards the Phantom and/or he still has some influence over her. Sadly, neither Joel Schumacher's direction nor Emmy Rossum's acting communicate this very well. As for Meg...well, she really doesn't have much excuse, especially after she found the secret passageway behind the mirror (which is another Wall Banger in and of itself; how stupid would the Phantom have to be to leave the friggin' thing open in the first place?).
 * The movie also completely misses the point of Carlotta's character. While she's certainly an example of bombastic, over-the-top operatic excess and most likely not as good vocally as she was at the start of her career, she is by no means a bad singer (in fact, her position indicates the exact opposite). The movie pushes her towards Dreadful Musician territory, having staff members plug their ears with cotton when she performs and showing the opera audience vastly preferring Christine. This undermines the managers' entire reason for backing Carlotta to begin with—they're more business minded than artistic (the Phantom even says as much) so naturally they prefer the popular star who will sell more tickets over the unknown kid from Sweden. If demand for Christine was so high, why wouldn't they accommodate it? The actual voice work only makes this more annoying—Margaret Preece at least sounds like someone who's had a few voice lessons, while Emmy Rossum's thin, immature voice sounds unlikely to carry past the first few rows of the Opera auditorium.

Pirates Of The Caribbean films

 * Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End has an absolutely massive Wall Banger regarding the Davy Jones-Beckett subplot. Fans of the films will remember at the end of Dead Man's Chest, Beckett managed to obtain Jones' heart, which he could then use to blackmail Jones into doing pretty much anything he wanted. Surely then, if you were an Evil Overlord capable of blackmailing a supernatural being with some object, you'd either a) keep this object close to you at all times to ensure no one stole it, or b) bury it in some top secret and/or random location to make the odds of someone finding and using said object nigh impossible? I can see why the filmmakers didn't go with the latter as it would just be Dead Man's Chest all over again, but the former would still prove a fairly simple and sensible - for the villain - plot element. Why then did Beckett leave the heart in the stupidest place possible: The Flying Fucking Dutchman?!. Perhaps Beckett somehow knew and was banking on his own stupidity being overtaken by Jones's, who not only didn't smell opportunity until about two-and-a-half hours into the film, but seemed 100% against the idea of having the heart on board the ship. Of course, it is possible Jones knew all along he could steal the heart, but wouldn't dare because of the British soldiers aboard the ship, because he doesn't actually steal the heart until a cannonball smashes into the ship, wounding all the soldiers except one which Jones then gruesomely dispatches to get the key. But this would in turn lead to another wall and a subsequent bang. Has Jones completely forgotten he's nigh immortal? And that he has his own army of fish people on the ship who could revolt against the Brits to get the heart? Of course, this would undo Beckett's status as the Big Bad pretty quickly, but that could easily be avoided if Beckett kept the heart on the ship where he was to keep an eye on it!
 * Come to think of it, he could have simply submerged the damn ship and drowned all the British troops onboard.
 * Beckett has to have the heart on hand in order to control Davy Jones. This way if Davy Jones or any of his minions tried to overthrow Beckett, the heart would be right there for them to stab, killing Jones and stopping the rebellion in its tracks. If the heart were buried somewhere, Davy Jones would have plenty of time to kill Beckett before Beckett had the chance to send someone to dig up the heart, stab it, and stop Jones.
 * In fact, this is exactly what almost happens when Jones tries to retake the Dutchman (except with cannons). The only wallbanger is that Jones tried it in the first place.
 * It is established that the Captain of Flying Dutchman, can only go on land once every ten years. This creates a "heart-breaking" problem for
 * Not only that, but
 * It'd still be land under his feet. Just very wet land. Maybe treading water? At the point you might as well just be in a boat. Hm. I wonder if he could walk up a pier and stay on boards, would that count? And exactly what happens if he steps on land more than once per ten years? There's no "or else" on the limitation, he just can't.
 * It's probably similar to The Strain. Vampires break down in debilitating seizures if they attempt to cross large bodies of moving water (under their own power). The same would presumably happen to Jones
 * There's also that scene where the good guys meet with the bad guys on a tiny island to chat. Jones is able to come because someone put buckets of water on the sand. Funny sight gag, but are you seriously telling me that Will and Elizabeth couldn't have found a way to use a trick like that?
 * To be fair the entire reason to have the heart on board Jones's ship is to control or threaten him immediately. Instead of having to rely on someone to come all the way back to Beckett and report Jones's misdeeds, the liaison and British soldiers on the ship had the power to kill him right then and there.
 * Except that if Beckett did have to give the order to destroy the heart, somebody would have to take over the Dutchman. Was he honestly expecting one of Those Two Guys, who were wielding the cannons on either side of the chest, to volunteer to have his heart cut out after blowing Jones's to smithereens? Or was Beckett planning to become the new captain himself, on the grounds that he'd issued the order to destroy it? Kind of hard to enjoy his prestige in the East India Company if he's turning into a fish-face or ferrying souls...
 * You don't need your heart ripped out to become the captain, though apparently killing Jones is part of the requirements.
 * If you stab the heart, you must replace it with your own. Jack got around this by having hold the knife, even if Jack was the one doing the action, but the person who stabbed the heart must cut theirs out and replace Davey's with their own.
 * The whole idea of Will deciding to forsake his fiancee and rescue his father. While I'm sure he'd love to release his father from his torment, the fact is that he's lived his entire life under the presumption that his father was dead, and had presumably gotten over it.
 * What really bothered me (and left several blood smears on my wall) was that according to the internal mythology of the movie, the Flying Dutchman must have a captain. Ok, fair enough. Where exactly does it state that the Captain must keep his heart in a treasure chest? Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Davy Jones have a heart for the first ten years as captain of the Dutchman? The only reason he cut it out was because his girlfriend stood him up; it had nothing to do with being the captain of the Dutchman. There's no reason that Will had to have his heart cut out too.
 * After the film was released, one of the writers blogged that . If   isn't performing his duties, who replaces him? Remember the scene from earlier in the movie with all of those miserable lost souls floating in the sea because they had no one to guide them to the afterlife? That's what would happen if the Dutchman had no captain or a captain who ignored his duties. And according to the story, one becomes the new captain by killing the old one and having his own heart cut out. So   would end up dead anyway. Not much of a happy ending there. For this reason, a lot of fans refuse to accept this explanation as canon.
 * Will probably had the power to change some of the rules, particular when it comes to succession. Like, say, he could just name his father as the new captain maybe. Just because it worked one way with Davy Jones doesn't mean it's the only way it could work, and for another thing, Jones was mortal once, so there must have been some mechanism for the process before he came about.
 * It was also implied in the film that Davey wasn't the first Captain of the Dutchman, Tia even outright says he cut out his own heart, never said this was a requirement to be captain but became one after he did it. When took control and  that 'cured' the Dutchman to whatever state it was before Davey hacked out his heart and whatever method was used to pick captains before Jones was put back into effect.
 * The killing of the Kraken. Every fucking thing about it. First off, you don't spend a whole movie building up this unstoppable monster to KILL IT OFFSCREEN before the next film begins! It's not only dramatically wrong, it makes no sense in the context of the story. The Kraken is a large part of what makes Davy Jones so powerful, because he can send it anywhere to attack anyone on the ocean and it apparently cannot be stopped. Becket's whole plan is to use Jones to control the seas, so why would he remove one of his primary advantages? Without the Kraken, he gets an unusually powerful ship...but a ship that we've seen can be outran and presumably outgunned. It'd be like gaining control of the U.S. Military and demonstrating your authority by having them destroy all their nukes.
 * From On Stranger Tides, we've got this little bit of bilge: . If you can't see the problem with that, the bad guys for the second and third movies were  . I know he's not as free-spirited as Captain Jack is, but c'mon, this is like.
 * I don't recall the British East India Company equaling the Royal Navy...
 * Technically no, but both the fictional and real life East India company were sanctioned by the King of England for all British trade in the area and put under protection by the British navy against pirates (which Beckett was assigned to the Company to take care of), so the analogy (and wall banger) is still valid.
 * Well, he certainly didn't bring them down- though he and the other pirates certainly dealt their activities in the Caribbean a serious blow. Plus, halfway through the film, Barbossa admits he's only a privateer out of convenience; he couldn't care less about the Fountain or the orders of the Crown- he just wants to take revenge on Blackbeard. And true to form, as soon as  Barbossa cheerfully tears up his Letters of Marque and goes back to being a pirate. And another thing, why is this a problem in the first place? Barbossa's hardly one of the heroes, and even they aren't above playing both sides of the fence.
 * At the beginning of the film, the Spanish learn about the existence of the Fountain of Youth and set out to seek it. When they finally do reach it,
 * In On Stranger Tides, Jack looses his hat towards the beginning. He makes no attempt to recover it. In fact, he doesn't even say anything about it. At all. This is the same hat that, in Dead Man's Chest, was a major plot point, in that it was totally unlike Jack not to turn the entire ship around to retrieve it when it fell overboard. Then, it was totally logical and expected to go get it, but now it doesn't even warrant a throw-away line?

Resident Evil, the original

 * William Birkin's pointless cameo. In theory, he is one of the scientists who take away Alice and the guy who'll become Nemesis in the second film. But he gets no memorable lines, we never see his face, and his name is never used in the film proper. And the whole "G-Virus" storyline is never used here or in the sequel. What was the point?
 * The actor who played William Birkin (Jason Isaacs) declined to come back for the next film, so he was replaced with Iain Glen's Dr. Isaacs expy.
 * Why does the team decide to go down there? Why not wait for a few hours to send the two suspicious individuals back to a nice secret torture chamber before sending a nice robot to look around the place? The idiots in charge know what kind of things were being experimented with in those facilities, but they choose to send a very small team in there without even equipping them in Hazmat suits! In the game, a team of crashed special agents made some sense. Here? Not so much.
 * We could probably talk about how incompetent the team was, too. The "Zombie Movie Intelligence Test" says the protagonists got the lowest score ever at -1100. It took 20 minutes for them to try a headshot. As Cracked put it, the team are such awful shots that they increased the number of zombies. One of their many, many, many missed shots hits the controls on a containment unit, which releases even more zombies into an already crowded room.
 * When Red Queen tells them zombies can only be killed with headshots, Rain is surprised.
 * Why did they build that under an inhabited city? It would have been easy to build twenty miles out of town with enough security to make sure that nothing ever escaped. Were the idiots trying to ensure that any security mess-ups would result in a worst case scenario?
 * A base that size has a lot of traffic going in and out. If you build it 20 miles away from town then all the trucks going to some random spot 20 miles away from town and then heading into a garage or a tunnel means you might as well just build your base on the surface and put a giant neon sign on it saying "SECRET RESEARCH FACILITY OVER HERE". If you're trying to keep your secret base secret, then you need to put it somewhere that there's already a lot of people and vehicles moving around so that nobody can notice that a small percentage of them keep driving into garages and tunnels and not coming back out.
 * For a real-world example, despite being built under a mountain the Russians knew the location of NORAD HQ at Cheyenne Mountain before we'd even finished it. Why? In addition to the # of people employed on its construction, the first thing that had to be built was the road leading to the mountain to run the construction equipment up to start digging out the facility. And roads are, of course, visible from space. (At least to spy satellites.)

Resident Evil: Extinction

 * In Extinction, LJ gets bit and infected, but he doesn't tell anyone. He turns just in time to bite one of the other survivors. But he was Genre Savvy enough to survive the previous movie and the five years between the two.
 * In this film, the T-virus has psychic powers.
 * The clones.
 * Businessman Wesker. They turned one of the most cunning and vile video game villains ever into a Corrupt Corporate Executive. His cameo appearance was nothing more than a hologram.
 * In Extinction, they throw in a Psuedo-Birkin. Instead of turning into "G", he becomes a talking Tyrant with tentacle powers who is defeated by that laser grid from the first movie. This severely annoys those watching who played the game first.
 * Alice being able to beat Nemesis in hand-to-hand combat. Yes, THAT Nemesis.
 * Nemesis is after STARS members, right? So it kills that one guy, and chases Alice. Then, when it loses track of her, it just leaves. It forgets about Jill, another STARS member in Raccoon City. Then again, if it had gone after Jill, she might have been more important than Alice (a full blown God Mode Sue in this film). We certainly couldn't have that.
 * Nemesis pulling a Heel Face Turn.

Resident Evil Afterlife

 * In the previous movie we're explicitly told that the virus has made the world's water dry up...somehow. So how is there an entire ocean and a rather green Alaska in this movie?

Spider-Man films
""Don't worry, we won't tell anybody.""
 * In Spider-Man 2, Peter walks away from a man being mugged because he was depowered. These muggers were not supervillains! Even if he couldn't intervene personally, he could at least call the cops, or call somebody to scare the thugs away! That's right, kids, helping people is a work for a designated costumed hero only. Everybody else - don't even bother!
 * It's not that Peter couldn't do it. It's that he made the decision not to be a hero to get his life back on track. He has to stick to that whether he's in a costume or not.
 * The news that after Spidey's retirement crime rate in New-York skyrocketed by 75%. Yes, Police Are Useless, but that's ridiculous!
 * Part of that may be due to many of the criminals in New York thinking "Wait, if I do *insert illegal act here* then I might get the shit kicked out of me by Spider-Man. Screw it, I'm going home."
 * The ever so convenient bit in Spider-Man 3..
 * Parodied here:
 * While it is customary for villains to want heroes unmasked, Fridge Logic suggests that, on average, knowing who the hero is under the mask won't add much info. (Supervillains are rarely average these days.) This cheapens the Heartwarming Moment in the train when two boys tell demasked Peter this:


 * What exactly are they not telling? That Spider-Man is a dark-haired young man? Or are they promising not to shout "hey, it's Spider-Man!" if they happened to see Peter in the street?
 * They probably mean that they won't tell anyone that Spider-Man is just a teenager, a fact that surprised everyone when they saw him without his mask. If all the villains who are so scared of Spider-Man found out that he was just a kid, they might not be so scared of him anymore.
 * They may also have just been promising to not mention that they saw him unmasked at all. That's the risk of being unmasked in public, there's always the risk that there's some idiot that goes off and tells all their friends that they just saw Spiderman without his mask on and then he gets pestered by the media, or worse, the villains for any information he could offer.
 * Peter's mutation-induced powers leave him after he starts to doubt whether he should be Spider-Man. They return when he decides that he should. Mutations shouldn't work that way. Even in the magical world of Hollywood genetics, it shouldn't.
 * "Only Spider-Man can stop Octavius now". Uhm, guys, Ock is still a human under the robotic tentacles. And he doesn't wear body armor. You can still shoot him.
 * But then what would the tentacles do?
 * Norman Osborn goes nuts because of the Psycho Serum. Makes sense. Harry Osborn goes nuts because..."his father lives in him". How was that last managed?

Star Trek films

 * Star Trek: Nemesis is just loaded with wallbangers, thanks to bad writing. This pictorial review highlights several of them.
 * Early in the film, the crew discover a positronic signature that matches Data's energy signature. Instead of simply getting on a shuttle and going down to the planet (just as they do in every other TNG episode), Picard, Data and Worf elect to use the "Captain's Yacht" (a luxury shuttle) to go down to the surface, and then inexplicably use a land-based vehicle to travel around to each crash site and retrieve B-4's parts. Instead of the alternative (use the yacht to fly to each site and pick up the pieces), the three crewmen (including the Captain) willingly put themselves in danger by driving an unshielded, exposed (to the elements) vehicle with little carrying capacity, and use it to have a chase scene with aliens sporting similar hardware...why?
 * Data overwrote his brother's brain. Data overwrote his brother's brain. DATA OVERWROTE...
 * The justification for this appeared to be that B4 had no real mind of his own. Thing is, he did. Sure, he was less advanced than his brother, but he had a level of sentience. And the thing to remember is, by this point in the franchise, he has an emotions chip. On top of that, during TNG, Data fought for his rights as a sentient being to protect his own mind from being erased - in a widely-regarded and well-known episode, no less. You'd think that would've made him more sympathetic.
 * Calm down. Data copied his memories into B4 but it's not indicated that he overwrote the android's basic personality.
 * Star Trek: Insurrection. The central conflict. The planet in question is a Fountain of Youth with a pristine ecology and beautiful people. The youth-restoring radiation is wanted by a race of ugly Designated Villains; it is strongly suspected that providing it will wreck the planet. Problems:
 * There are more of them.
 * They will die and go extinct without it.
 * The Federation normally aims for the "greater good" when the Prime Directive isn't involved, and Picard normally aims for those ideals.
 * The Federation ideals do not include Beauty Equals Goodness.
 * It's even worse than this, because at the time the film is going on, the Federation is fighting an increasingly bloody war. A war that is, in fact, so dire that it authorizes . Yet they flinch at collecting a resource that could allow them to win the war without a single further soldier dying? Obviously, whoever made the film didn't bother doing even fifteen minutes worth of research on Deep Space Nine.

"Kirk: The Enterprise is a disaster! There must be other ships available?" Admiral: "Other ships, yes, but no experienced captains.""
 * No one in the Federation respects the Prime Directive in this film. In the end, it doesn't matter, but until then...
 * There is a romantic subplot between Will Riker and Deanna Troi. Troi kisses him and expresses distaste for his beard. She says she's never kissed him with a beard before...but she already had at least four times in TNG!
 * The Ba'Ku were supposed to be the good guys. They hoard a whole planet full of this miraculous material for themselves, and when some of their number suggest that they should share it with other races (and there's certainly enough as there's only a few hundred Ba'Ku on the whole planet) their response is to banish them and doom them to slow degradation of their bodies until their faces have to be held in place by staples.
 * They're not "hoarding" it, and it's not like they're trying to keep other races from colonising the same planet. Picard says that the Son'a could establish their own colony, but Dougherty says that most of them won't have time. Actually, this is a wall-banger considering how fast they seem to work on Picard and the others.
 * Also, how did a race of Space Amish pacifists manage to put down and drive out a sect of militant, armed, and technologically advanced people? And even if they could somehow do that, how did they prevent the Son'a from just turning right around and landing somewhere else on the planet? The Ba'ku don't have any technology to stop or even DETECT another settlement within EYESIGHT of their town, much less on the other side of the planet!
 * The scene with Geordi seeing his first sunrise was brilliant, but given that he was born blind the planet wouldn't have regenerated his optic nerve. It doesn't make sense that this would only be a temporary effect.
 * It's well-known among the fandom that production was against giving Geordi natural eyesight because they thought it would be a slap in the face to do in fiction what can't be done in real-life for real people. But there-in lies the problem. If they knew they couldn't permanently give Geordi natural eyesight, then they shouldn't have bothered sticking fans with another example of Status Quo Is God.
 * Oh, here's one: Picard balks at the idea of moving a non-indigenous race to another planet for their protection, due to another "species" claiming it for their own. In the Next Generation episode "The Ensigns of Command", he gleefully and obediently does the very thing he balked at in the movie. In fact, the only protest he makes is to the species who claim the planet for themselves, and that's only to give him more time to get the people already there off. Did no one actually watch that episode before making this movie?
 * Except that, unlike the Son'a and arguably the Federation, the Shelliak had a legal right to the planet, and unlike the Ba'ku, the colonists were Federation citizens, plus Picard did not resort to any kind of deception to remove the colonists.
 * Except that the "legal" right is granted entirely by the Federation; the people on the planet had no say at all in the treaty signed with the Shelliak. Likewise, the Ba'ku planet is "legally" in Federation space, because that's what Federation law says. Either way, it's legal because the Federation says it is.
 * Yet another one. At the beginning, Dougherty says, "The planet is ours (The Federation's), the technology is their's (The Son'a)". Wait... If the Ba'Ku are living inside Federation space, why don't they have any representation or legal rights? Also, we learn that the Son'a manufactured Ketracel White, the substance used to feed and control the Dominion's Jem'Hadar soldiers, the Federation's enemies! Why would they be doing business with the Son'a in the first place?
 * That could have been used as a serious counter-argument: What proof were the Son'a even on the level? For all we know they might have been secretly trying to destroy a resource the Federation could have had used that the Dominion couldn't.
 * How about the Ba'ku fear of technology? There is two reasons why it doesn't add up.
 * 1) The Ba'ku themselves use technology. Sure it's primitive technology, but it still counts as technology. That makes them a bunch of uptight hypocrites who hates modern machines when they used their machines for their work.
 * 2) The movie seems to use the "Technology is bad" aesop yet it's broken because they are saved multiple times thanks to technology. The woman who was crushed by rocks? Saved by modern medicine. If it wasn't for the phasers, they could have being killed by the Son'a. Hell, like I said before, they use technology to harvest the crops and open a hole in the lake to help the heroes. It's like the writer can't come up with arguments as to why it's bad to have technology when technology itself have made more help then problems.
 * Star Trek Generations isn't a bad movie overall, but it does have one moment at the beginning that's a monumental wall banger. The newly commissioned Enterprise-B is docked in Earth orbit, about to take a maiden tour of the solar system, when they receive a distress signal from a nearby ship. Since the Enterprise isn't combat ready, the captain says to relay the message to the nearest starship, to which he's told that they're the only ship in range. Wait a minute... they're the only ship in range of EARTH?!?
 * This seems to be a common problem for the franchise. The same thing happens in Star Trek: The Motion Picture (the probe's heading straight for earth and is days away - and they're STILL the only ship in range) and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
 * Star Trek V: The Final Frontier doesn't even try to justify this. The Enterprise, with her systems in shambles and half her crew on vacation, is dispatched to a hostage situation with galactic implications simply because Kirk is teh awesome. If Starfleet had sent a ship with a functioning transporter, the movie would've been over almost before it began. * BANG* * BANG* * BANG*
 * All explained with what an admiral said to Kirk:


 * That only explains why they needed Kirk to go, not why they couldn't just get one of those inexperienced Captains to just pick him up to handle negotiations.
 * How about the physics failures? Even if the missile had gone to warp in order to reach the star almost instantaneously (which it didn't, but let's assume it did), it would still take many minutes for its effects to become visible from the surface of the planet. And destroying the star would do nothing to the trajectory of the Nexus: The mass of the star is still there even if you explode the star. You can't just get rid of it. And even if you somehow were able to suddenly annihilate the mass of the star, it would still take minutes for the gravity waves to reach the Nexus: The effect would not be immediate, even though in the movie it's shown as an immediate effect.
 * The Nexus:
 * Guinan says that it is such a happy place, you can never leave. But she got out of it, and so did the Big Bad. Picard only needs about 10 min before he decides to head out, and Kirk leaves with a moderate amount of arm-twisting. What?
 * The happiest place for Kirk wouldn't be some passive solar house out in rural Montana; it would be the bridge of the fucking Enterprise! He even says, while in the Nexus, that he regrets leaving the Enterprise. They made it look more like Picard yanks Kirk out of a melancholy phase of retirement than out of the happiest of all possible worlds! He should be exploring new worlds, having all kinds of lengthy conversations with Spock and Bones, and boning all manner of green women, not riding a fucking horse through the woods.
 * In the Nexus, the "reflex" of Guinan (or however they explained her presence there) tells Picard he can go to any place, any time. So he chooses the moment when the stakes were highest and likelihood of success the lowest, with Kirk as his only possible means of assistance? Why doesn't he travel back a week and simply arrest the bad guy? Or why doesn't Kirk travel back to the Enterprise B, find the younger version of Soren and show him how to modify the deflector so that Soren gets pulled into the Nexus when the energy arc hits the ship?
 * The defeat of the Enterprise-D, at least in the theatrical cut, is a massive wallbanger. The lynchpin to the Klingons' success is being able to get the Enterprise's current shield frequency. That's all well and good. With it they manage to fire a single torpedo and get a direct hit. Then, the Enterprise crew inexplicably fail to change their shield frequencies (which they've done on several past occasions) and promptly get shot down for their stupidity.
 * Why didn't Picard just go back to the Enterprise beforehand and kick Dr. Soran into the handiest matter-reclamation bin? Or for that matter, why not just go back farther and save his brother and nephew as well? One of the film's messages is about accepting mortality, but seriously, if you had the ability to save someone you love from an untimely death, would you pass it up?
 * The Star Trek movie that rebooted the franchise recently had some problems:
 * Kirk's promotion at the end of the film. While the Status Quo Is God (and it was completely expected that Kirk would become Captain), it's still a bit ridiculous that a man in his late 20's can be promoted to Captain of the Federation flagship.
 * The plan to destroy a supernova with a black hole. Supernovae CREATE black holes in the first place. And if the supernova manages to destroy a planet in another star system then for this plan to work the event horizon of the black hole would have to be several LIGHT YEARS in radius.
 * Also, how did Spock run out of time? Even if the supernova's shock wave were traveling at the speed of light, the Romulans would have seen it coming years earlier and been able to predict almost precisely when it would hit. Why didn't they evacuate at least?
 * Your average Federation captain know the "frequencies" to avoid Earth's defenses. That kind of makes sense, giving a ship's captain the ability to not get shot up by your own defense network. However, these same Federation captains, in no less than two separate instances, have flown over to a hostile enemy ship to "negotiate" with the attackers. Captains, with critical information that would allow an attacker to bypass Earth's defenses, going alone, to a superior enemy's ship after being attacked by them. The Narada ends up getting through Earth's perimeter defenses completely unmolested later in the film.
 * Easily explained by Nero's Complete Monster tendencies. He would quickly and remorselessly destroy several Starfleet ships if he didn't get what he wanted. If the captains didn't go over there, it's possible that he would have blown up the ship, then found another one, rinse and repeat. He definitely doesn't have any qualms with blowing up a planet, and it's doubtful an interplanetary vessel (such as the Kelvin or the Enterprise) would receive as much consideration.
 * Why did Nero need Earth's defense frequencies anyhow? The Narada had just managed to destroy a flotilla of top-line Federation capital ships with no perceivable damage at all. The only reason is that he's either running out of missiles (it is a mining ship after all, and probably doesn't have all that much military hardware), or doesn't want to risk getting rammed again.
 * "Get him off this ship". Ignoring the fact that Federation starships have always had something called a brig, specifically for the purposes of holding prisoners and insubordinate crewman (ideally so they can be court marshaled later) jettisoning Kirk to this ice planet (which as Mr. Plinket points out, does not exist in Star Trek) would have been a death sentence, effectively making the new version of the Spock character we're made to sympathize with, a murderer. Not one character in the film calls him on this.
 * To be fair, Spock puts Kirk within walking distance of a Star Fleet base, and provides him with survival equipment. And McCoy does call him out.
 * In Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, we learn that the Klingons, the most dominant and proud warriors the Alpha Quadrant has ever known... equip their military vessels with detailed knowledge concerning Earth marine mammals that have been extinct for 200 years. Huh?
 * Why not? With data storage as cheap and compact as it is now, never mind what it would be like at Star Trek tech levels, it's easier to just include everything than to sort out what is and isn't worth keeping. Also, Kirk & Company had plenty of time to add Federation databases to the information stored in the Klingon systems.
 * Starfleet policy appears to be to keep a complete Library of Congress type archive stored on every starship computer so as to maximize the odds that human knowledge and history will be preserved even in the case of civilization-ending disaster. Also in Star Trek 4 that Klingon ship is busy returning to Earth after a long stopover at Vulcan (for Spock's recovery from his temporary case of death in Star Trek 3). Since Vulcan quite likely has the most well-stocked scientific library databases in the Alpha Quadrant, they've had every opportunity to load up their ship's computer with all the Federation archives.

Star Wars
""You call this a diplomatic solution?" "No, I call it aggressive negotiations.""
 * The Phantom Menace:
 * Word of God states that the Jedi saw through Amidala and her double's Paper-Thin Disguises, but it didn't come across in the film. The "We knew it all along" looks the Jedi were supposed to have at The Reveal looked more like shock, making it look as though they were fooled. This was either caused by faulty direction, faulty acting, or both.
 * Padme as a fourteen-year-old queen (democratically elected) with real executive authority. While it is conceivable that someone could have been elected to the office, and there have been cases of monarchs being elected (usually by other nobles), the idea that the human population of a planet would elect someone at the age of fourteen to act as their leader is more ludicrous than Jar Jar Binks.
 * Padme isn't the only government member. She's basically the five year old child from rule 12 on the Evil Overlord List. Her mistakes and impracticalities would be tempered by advisors and ministers (equally elected, so we may hope). Word Of God says it's tradition for the royalty to be young teenagers, so the government has adapted to fit an impractical idealist head of state.
 * At the end of the film, Obi-Wan promises to train Anakin, a proposal the Jedi Council reluctantly accepts. Obi-Wan just finished his apprenticeship, so why don't they arrange for a more experienced teacher? Especially considering that Anakin is most powerful in the force and might be the prophesied saviour of the Jedis and destroyer of the Sith. No wonder all hell breaks loose two movies later.
 * Midichlorians. Did Anakin really need to be at the top of the Power Levels chart? And, if he did, couldn't you have found a better way to establish it?
 * Attack of the Clones:
 * Anakin suddenly recalls that for the past ten to fifteen years, his mother has been a slave in the very asshole of the galaxy, and decides that he should probably maybe kind of do something about it. Even if Anakin (as per the Jedi teachings) was discouraged or forbidden from going to see his mother, there was nothing stopping him from sending someone (another Jedi, Padme, etc.) to check in on her from time to time.
 * To be fair, AotC is the first time in the entire intervening period that Anakin has seen Padme since the last movie, the first time he had both significant time away from direct Jedi supervision and access to a spaceship, and asking the other Jedi to go help his mom would almost certainly just result in a repeat of the 'no attachments' lecture and not any actual help.
 * "I killed them all. And not just the men, but the women, and the children." How come slaughtering an entire Tusken Raider village in a blind rage doesn't grant Anakin a one-way ticket to the Dark Side on the spot?
 * Because after his immediate rage passes Anakin feels sincere remorse over having done it, and acknowledges that his actions were wrong and completely unjustifiable. So its a case of him touching the Dark Side pretty hard but then stepping back from the abyss before fully taking the plunge. And before you go 'That's not possible', remember that in RotJ Luke draws upon the Dark Side when he beats down Darth Vader in a rage, and yet is able to step away from the point of no return before he goes over it. In every case we know of when a Jedi falls to the Dark Side the point of no return is not when they actually do evil, but when they then accept the evil they have done instead of turning away from it.
 * Padme had demonstrated, during Episode I, that she is skilled enough to use a blaster properly and hold her own on a shootout. Fine. Later in Episode II, she gets captured by Dooku alongside Obi-Wan and Anakin; all three of them are chained to stone columns and left to be mauled/eaten by some space critters. Fine. Then, out of nowhere, she is perfectly able to: release herself from her chains (something that our Jedi friends didn't, despite all the whole Force-thing). Climb at top of the column. Get her back slashed by a Nexu (imagine a tiger with More Teeth Than the Osmond Family) with no significant results. Do a Tarzan-like swing and knock down said Nexu. Jump on the back of a Reek (think a dinosaur/rhino-like thing) from the top of said column with her legs spread. Survive the huge following battle with nothing more than a blaster and some cover from Anakin while trading idiotic quips with him. And, finally, survive a several-meters high fall from a moving ship, again with no visible effects. Basically, they turned a perfectly reasonable Action Girl into one of the most blatant and egregious cases of Plot Armor.
 * This exchange between Anakin and Padme, said during a battle against an overwhelming enemy and with dozens of dead and dying Jedi around them:


 * As pointed out by Mr. Plinkett and Confused Matthew, Padme's rationale for marrying Anakin is wholly unsatisfactory and illogical, given his behaviour throughout the film. Even if the audience is to accept that Padme is young and naive, she has witnessed Anakin (in order) making unnecessarily creepy comments towards her, giving her odd and disconcerting looks, rudely interrupting her during important diplomatic negotiations, begging for her to love him, and admitting to slaughtering an entire village full of Sand Raiders (including women and children). Yet, despite all this, she shows no hesitation towards marrying him, even though the evidence against Anakin being a suitable husband is far more than the evidence supporting it.
 * Hell, in the novel she turns off the surveillance system in her apartment, even though she knows she's marked for assassination, just so that this gallant knight doesn't peek on her in her sleep.
 * Speaking of which, the whole "Padme assassination attempt" episode is one humongous Wall Banger from start to finish. The assassin's choice of weapon was a few slow moving insects instead of using the explosives with a drone to make a quick moving bomb. Once the insects were released the droid simply hovered nearby instead of immediately leaving. When the droid did leave it went straight back to the person who sent it instead of heading off for some place to self destruct and destroy evidence. Lastly, apparently all the security a political heavyweight who was marked for assassination deserved was an easily cut window and a security camera.
 * Revenge of the Sith:
 * Senator Palpatine claims the Republic has stood for a thousand years. Obi-Wan claims it has stood for a thousand generations. Considering a generation is thirty years, either Palpatine or Obi Wan is twenty nine thousand years out.
 * It's possible that Palpatine was referring to the current Republic (compare to how the French say "The Second Republic" or the "Third." They're on number 5 now), while Kenobi was referring to the Republic as an institution stretching back to the original that has existed in one form or another for those 30,000 years.
 * I suggest you pick up some EU material. This is more or less canon.
 * Yoda grabbing the Idiot Ball with both hands and jumping off a cliff by effectively telling Anakin not to mourn or even miss his loved ones when they pass away. Seriously, the guy has known Anakin for over ten years. He knows that Anakin has a short temper and a rebellious streak that has gotten him into trouble more than once. He knows that Anakin is apparently very powerful. Was it too much effort to say, "Careful around this you must be, young Skywalker; a self-fulfilling prophecy this may be!" Or did Yoda just feel like being a dick for the sake of the plot? Why this is a problem: Yoda's advice is Comically Missing the Point. Anakin comes to him to talk about some visions filled with pain and suffering he had been having lately, not to cry on his shoulder about the death of somebody. If anything, Yoda should have lectured him about the nature of premonitions and how they do not always come true, since "difficult to see, always in motion the future is".
 * Or better yet, just tell the guy: "Death, a part of life it is. Powerful enough to stop it, no one is, not even the Jedi. Know that the dead are at peace with the Force."
 * Yoda's not 100% at fault here. While he could've been a bit more sensitive, he had no idea who Anakin was talking about. For all he knew, Anakin was talking about Obi-Wan and was just relying on that for his advice. You'd think Anakin would just grow a pair and confess it all to Yoda right then and there, ridding him of his troubles. That was a golden opportunity that he missed completely!
 * "Only the Sith deal in absolutes!" Only the Sith?
 * To make this worse, this statement is said by Obi Wan. Saying that only Sith Lords speak in absolutes is an absolute itself. Therefore, by his own logic, Obi Wan is a Sith Lord.
 * While this seems mind-numbingly stupid on the surface, it's actually a bit of Fridge Brilliance to show that the Jedi are so super light that they're on the exact same level as the Sith, only on opposite ends of the spectrum: pure light vs. pure darkness, as opposed to something more balanced.
 * Padme's death. "She's lost the will to live." Apparently, she didn't give a rat's ass about her newborn children. EU material retconned this by saying she died from injuries not discovered when Anakin force choked her (which is only slightly better than the film's explanation), but it still brings the competence of the medical droids into question if she's dying of internal injuries and they conclude that she doesn't care enough to live. The look of pride and joy on her face doesn't help. Likewise, her final words were hardly those of someone who's lost all hope. "There is good in him… I know. I know there is… still…" Yep, totally lost the will to live.
 * It could be argued that, given the circumstances, Padme had to give birth in a place where decent medical droids were unavailable. However, the explanation given in the EU raises further problems. Firstly, why the hell did no-one think to question that the droids didn't know why she was dying? You'd have thought Obi-Wan would've at least asked what that was meant to mean, or maybe suggested they try and find a proper reason. Secondly, how come Padme was able to speak clearly enough to name her children if she had tracheal injuries severe enough to kill her?
 * "She's lost the will to live? What's your degree in, Poetry?"
 * There's a medical droid right there in the room while she's giving birth. It's the medical droid onboard the personal ship of a Republic Senator. And there's two Jedi Masters right there as spectators.
 * Mace Windu bringing such horrendously incompetent wingmen to arrest the Chancellor. Just, seeing Jedi Masters fall prey to The Worf Effect, it... Ugh.
 * Original Trilogy:
 * Why are Luke and Leia siblings? In the films, the familial relationship didn't...do much other than create Squick in Empire and settle a Love Triangle peacefully.
 * Prequel Trilogy:
 * In The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda says "Always in motion is the future.", the general idea being that Jedi can see possible futures, but these visions are only really reliable within a fairly short period of time... so WHY are the Jedi betting everything on some vague prophecy that might refer to Anakin?
 * This is actually a case of Fridge Brilliance. The prophecy definitely refers to Anakin, as he's the only being purely conceived by the Force. He is, without a doubt, the Chosen One. The question, however, remained, would the Chosen One fulfill the rest of the prophecy, that is, bring balance to the Force. Since the future is always in motion, the Jedi could not be certain that Anakin would fulfill the prophecy. Along with respecting Qui-Gon Jinn's final wishes, this is the main reason the Jedi decided to ignore their reservations and to train Anakin in the ways of the Force, believing that the prophecy would more likely be fulfilled if he was trained in the ways of the Jedi, with tragic results.

Terminator films

 * During Terminator 3, the lead female spends most of the early part of the film trapped in the back of a van yelling at the Arnold-Terminator to let her out. Later in the film, he reveals that he's programmed to do everything she tells him! Except, apparently, let her out. He then goes with them to try to stop Judgment Day when he specifically doesn't want to; his sole reason is that she told him to do it and he had to obey. Then he disobeys her orders again by tricking them into being trapped in a bunker when Judgment Day occurs anyway. If he's programmed to obey her orders, why try to stop Skynet's activation? If he isn't, why not force or trick them both to go to the bunker without wasting time at the military base? None of it makes any sense!
 * It does if you assume that the T-850.
 * It's just about plausible that Skynet would send back two Terminators. However, Skynet in this new timeline is clearly aware they failed, yet would have to have sent them back anyway. Not to mention the "advanced" Terminator going back to the old endoskeleton design for no apparent reason and violating the "you can't bring weapons" rule (the former ultimately causing her defeat; the T-1000 wouldn't have been split in half, would have had nothing to grab, etc, while the on-board weapons were barely used at all) or the ludicrousness of Skynet simultaneously being a virus loose on the internet and not being connected to it at all. The final payoff (Skynet couldn't be destroyed by thousands of EMPs because it was "software" on unshielded home and business PCs) is eight flavours of fucking stupid.
 * So... Neo Skynet is a distributed computer program operating on millions of computers world wide. The moment Skynet becomes a sapient entity, it immediately launches a nuclear attack. Whaaaaaa?! Why would it DO that? Skynet is no longer the Minsky brain-in-a-jar classical AI from the Cold War; it's a distributed intelligence! It NEEDS all that power and communications infrastructure and equipment to be functional to survive! In the previous movie it made sense since Skynet was housed in a bunker somewhere in total, but here destroying the world communications and power grid would effectively lobotomize it. So, what... was Skynet's immediate action on waking up to try to commit suicide? And then it decides to wipe out humanity (in a fit of emo rage, I guess)? You'd think this version of Skynet would be smarter and just use its absolute control over the entirety of human military, police, financial, and political information to just conquer humanity without anyone being any the wiser.
 * How about the T-X "hacking" car engine computers to make them move on their own? This has showed in a couple of other movies too, and it's an extremely stupid Critical Research Failure. An engine computer simply monitors performance and reads data from sensors, and even if it could be hacked, you'd need servo motors attached to the mechanically-driven pedals, gear shift and steering wheel to make the car go on its own.
 * Almost there though, i.e. Parking Assistants for steering, etc
 * When the T-800 was reprogrammed to try to kill John Connor, he tries to override the programming. Despite the fact that computers cannot work that way, his system configurations apparently engage "make ridiculous faces" mode when trying to override the programming. The main point of the first two movies is that the terminator cannot feel emotion. Even in the big climax of T-2, he simply says that he understands why humans cry, and that he is incapable of it due to not being able to feel emotion. However, he just apparently just decides to have emotions here.
 * Well, since strong AI doesn't exist in Real Life, we don't know how such a thing would work. However, it's safe to say that the Terminator CPU must be capable of multitasking, so one possible justification would be that he is running both Resistance and Skynet processes simultaneously, and that both are sending control signals to his robot body while trying to overwrite or delete the other. (Google "core wars" for a real-world example of warring system processes.) If multiple control signals are being sent to hardware at the same time, the results would be unpredictable.
 * Also, the T-2 terminator DOES seem to build some kind of emotions, what with his unprovoked quipping ("I need a vacation") and capability to apologize. He just can't literally cry (make water leak out of his eyes). So, the T-3 version might have built some semblance of emotion as well.
 * And if the T-850 has psychology installed, he has a better knowledge of emotions than its predecessors.
 * In Terminator Salvation is it confirmed that
 * Or why every single terminator throws the victim into walls. You have the person in your hands. Grab throat. Squeeze. Mission accomplished.
 * Or as we see is possible in the very first victim of the series. Punch through chest. Mission accomplished.
 * Now, I'm no doctor, but I'm fairly certain isn't a good idea
 * In the original film, it's established that the only way anything other than living tissue can be sent back in time is if it's surrounded in living tissue. In the second film, the T-1000 (made entirely out of liquid metal, with no living tissue in sight) is sent back. Maybe they improved the time machine?
 * The metal is "alive" though, and could be enough to trick the time displacement equipment, or you just cover the T-1000 with bacteria, it's alive, and will transport whatever it covers.
 * Really, it raises more questions than it answers; if they can cloak the T-1000 in something living in order to send it back, they can also wrap up a few Phased Plasma Rifles, or something else in the BFG class, and send it back with it (or within it). Best advice for the whole series is given at the end of the original film: "A person could go crazy thinking about this."
 * They also don't send any weapons back with the T-1000, despite the fact that he's made of liquid metal and could conceivably conceal just about any weapon short of a tactical nuke of a cruise-missile.
 * He's made a shapeshifter so that it's not needed to travel with weapons...
 * Who was John Connor's original father,.
 * The loop works in the first movie, it's just a case of cause following effect; unfortunately, the required inevitability of John sending Reese back to close the loop rather spoils the "the future is not set" message. It's T2 which messes with this by saying it is possible to stop Judgment Day and therefore that John could potentially be alive despite his father never being sent back in time (it's implied in the comics that John knew Kyle Reese was his father even before he sent him back; in T2, John talks about knowing he sent his real father back in time to die). T3 really doesn't fix this by saying Judgment Day could be postponed, since if that's true presumably Reese would be older when he was sent back, not to mention the question of why the new Skynet (now a totally different entity to the late Cold War-designed Cyberdyne Skynet which commanded pilotless stealth bombers) would still do exactly the same things. It's a case of trying to fix a plot hole only to end up widening it into a plot tunnel.
 * How does a multistory robot sneak up on a band of humans in the middle of a desert? Was nobody watching? Did it just move THAT fast? Was it a Transformer in disguise?
 * Speaking of emergency heart surgery, I was wracking my brain trying to think of what kind of trauma would result in the need for a transplant without being immediately fatal. If the heart or major blood vessel was punctured, he would have died within seconds. If the heart was scraped but not actually punctured, no transplant would have been necessary. This is why heart transplants are used for heart failure and congestion rather than injury; No trauma patient lives long enough to get a new one.
 * The whole way that time travel works in this universe makes no sense. The first and second films establish repeatedly that there is no set future, yet Kyle Reese being sent from the future to become John Connor's father negates this. Okay, so maybe they were wrong in the first and second films, and the future is set. After all, they're functioning on the idea that John Connor has to be the leader of the resistance, so maybe they just don't know how the time loop works. Okay, maybe when Reese got sent back in time and knocked up Sarah, she birthed a different person who, with the influence of Kyle, named him John, and raised him to be a "great military leader" since she thought she was supposed to. After all, up till this point, nothing had happened that made the creation of Skynet impossible. But wait, then they blew up Cyberdyne, and Skynet just gets created later Because Destiny Says So. Huh. So apparently, in the terminator universe, the future is set when it's necessary for the plot/for there to be more movies made.
 * All these problems go away if you assume multiple timelines. Although the films don't explicitly do so, this was canon in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, where Derek and Jesse come from different futures.
 * Heres what this troper thinks: The future can be changed, but theres no way for the humans to change it to give themselves a better outcome. Skynet will take over in every possible future Sarah and Kyle can create and they have got humanity in a loop of doing "pretty good". Sending Kyle back to save Sarah and knock her up with John will keep the humans alive and thats about the best they can do. Variations on this time loop can cause things like a delay in judgement day during the next loop but they can also cause humans to be completely wiped out. So potentially, there exists a form of the time loop where they do manage to defeat skynet, they just have not found it yet.

Volcano
Volcano is far worse with Hollywood Science than even Armageddon can dream of, and Convection, Schmonvection is the least of it.

"Chef: Hey, children, everybody! I'm back! I'm back from Aruba! What the-? [Everyone is pretty much in black-face because of the ash-storm.] Okay! Eeeeeehverybody get into line, so I can whup all your asses!"
 * Only the geologist can identify the substance pouring out of the tar pits. The writers think that we don't know lava when we see it? Or that most people in LA wouldn't?
 * A scientist who needs a thermometer to realize that the pile of debris right next to her is over 700 degrees Fahrenheit. (For reference, that is hotter than the interior of a self-cleaning oven when it's self-cleaning.)
 * Our protagonist, at one point, has everyone at a certain intersection place concrete highway dividers in an arch to use the lava's own strength against it...and they set up the arch in the wrong direction. It still works.
 * The scene in the subway in Volcano: A man is able to move around in a train car so hot that it's melting around him. It should have been so hot that all the survivors he's rescuing would have been incinerated. Then the stupid man stupidly jumps into lava so he can throw the last survivor past it, stupidly remaining conscious and successfully throwing another grown adult clear, and then stupidly melting just like the Wicked Witch of the West. And it was stupid—did we mention that? Especially the ridiculous idea that people use the subway in Los Angeles.
 * The premise of the film is that, somehow, an incipient volcano could sneak up on Los Angeles, one of the most geologically monitored areas on the planet, simply because there's a subway line under construction.
 * There's the arbitrary way the mass of the lava is dealt with. Lava is made of stone. The massive wave of lava should have weighed many tons, but it doesn't push a bus out of its way, which a small river of water can do. Then, arbitrarily, the lava has mass again when the barricade is put up.
 * It snows ash throughout the film, except when it doesn't. Thanks to all that volcano ash, everyone is going to die of lung cancer soon.
 * More likely Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis
 * That touching scene at the end of the film. It was parodied in South Park thus:


 * The lava seemed to speed up and slow down as was necessary to the plot.
 * A very small dog barks at lava slowly filling up the living room.
 * The noticeable lack of toxic and corrosive gases that usually accompany volcanic eruptions. There's no way that anybody would have been alive that close to the mouth of an erupting volcano.
 * No one seems to be aware that a volcanic eruption in the middle of Los Angeles would almost certainly result in the city being rendered unlivable for an extended period of time. Definitely months...probably years or decades.
 * Evacuations should have been the priority rather than trying to "fight" the volcano. The idea is suggested and bluntly rejected by our protagonist. Oh, and he heads the film's local FEMA-equivalent.

X-Men
"Halle Berry: A cure? But there's nothing wrong with us! Kelsey Grammer: ... Halle Berry: I mean, unless you count being covered in bright blue fur, being unable to touch someone, or having mental powers so uncontrollable that you are a danger to the entire world."
 * X-Men: The Last Stand: Storm expresses Moral Outrage that anyone would want to stop being a mutant when talking to a giant blue freak, a man who is constantly forced to cut his flesh open to use some of his powers, and a girl who is unable to touch anyone, including the man she loves, for fear of killing them.
 * Aside from the adamantine claws and skeleton, Wolverine's main power is regeneration. His Healing Factor is the entire effing reason that he has a poisonous metal skeleton - without it, he wouldn't have ever been used for the experiment.
 * Reappearing bullet holes.
 * Wolverine's original powers involved bone claws as well as the healing, so adamantium or not, he'd still have to rip holes in his hands to shoot out the claws. The Adamantium skeleton and claws just give him increased durability.
 * Beast does call her out on that by gently reminding her that not every mutant in the room has her advantage of being able to pass as a normal, attractive human.
 * The Abridged Script


 * One could argue that Storm was outraged that the "Cure" implied that mutants were suffering from some sort of illness. It still was tactless, though.
 * This is even more headache inducing in the first film where Professor X explains to Rogue that the "anonymity" is the mutant's best weapon. Well Jeez Professor that's awfully convenient seeing as how everyone on your team looks perfectly normal, worst any of them have to put up with is a pair of goofy glasses, while everyone on Magneto's team would stand out if you say them from across the street. At night. While they were wearing heavy clothing. Seriously how is the 7 foot tall, fanged, furry Sabretooth supposed to "blend?"
 * trenchcoat and fedora?
 * What in blazes was the point of Mystique getting herself captured, only to be busted out by Magneto, shot down defending him, and left nude in the truck for all to see?! She basically got Stuffed Into the Fridge. What the hell Ratner?!!
 * To be fair though, Raven did get what could be considered a Crowning Moment of Awesome. She basically ratted out Magneto and his group to the Authorities, giving them secret information on the campsite they were staying at, which eventually led to the capture of Multiple Man.
 * Uh, not much of a victory, considering Multiple Man was acting as a decoy for the entire camp they'd been hoping to capture.
 * And in the Novelization, she is one of the few mutants at the very end who appear to slightly be getting their powers back.
 * Having Jean kill the love of her life accidentally was bad enough, but did she have to do it offscreen? And no-one seems to give a damn that Scott's dead afterward.
 * Really, X2: X-Men United had this problem as well, killing off people just for the hell of it. Jean Grey's death in X2 was the most idiotic plot device with the thinnest justification ever. Let's see, there's a mountain of water crashing toward the Blackbird, so Jean decides to go outside, stand in the water's path so she can be conveniently killed, and lift the Blackbird to safety. As opposed to everyone getting out of the Blackbird and her lifting them to safety (cause we can always get another Blackbird, but presumably we can't get another Jean Grey), or better yet, everyone stay in the Blackbird and she can lift it from in the plane (something she can do in the comics, but this is the movie so I guess that's anyone's call). Nobody took even 5 seconds to think about this. Idiot Ball anyone?
 * Considering how in The Last Stand she gets sad/suicidal when feeling Phoenix is taking over, maybe she thought the "overly powerful phase" which manifested a few times through that movie was something to get rid of.
 * Apparently Jean wasn't even supposed to die in the original script and she lived at the end of the novelization (which was also based on the original script).
 * Or Bobby could get out and freeze all that water. And then they could fly off at a nice and leisurely pace. Maybe pop a tape into the deck. Play a few rounds of 20 Questions.
 * Iceman can "build" a wall of ice, sure. But compare the size of that with that incoming surge! Would be pretty hard.
 * Actually, considering how difficult it should be to instantly freeze the water vapor in the air into a good foot thick or so wall, freezing liquid water should be considerably easier for him.
 * Freezing the water, sure, but he can't cancel the kinetic force. They're better off being hit by water than ice.
 * I'm pretty sure Cyclops's eyebeam things can vaporize water. Nightcrawler could teleport them to safety a few at a time. Storm could generate wind to blow the water away from the plane, or she could lift the plane with a tornado, or lower the temperature outside to subzero so the water would freeze. Her death was a suicide, but definitely an unnecessary one.
 * Cyclops's eyebeams are concussive force, not heat, at least as far as the source material goes. I believe that would preclude any water vaporization.
 * To be fair: Nightcrawler has difficulty teleporting more than a few yards by himself, saying nothing about carrying passengers, and teleporting multiple people in a short span of time has been known to leave him in a borderline comatose state in the comics. Storm and Iceman probably could have done something though, especially since they are two of the most powerful (omega level) mutants.
 * None of this changes the fact that if Jean could stop the water from outside the plane, she could've stopped it from inside too.
 * The plane wallbanger is actually lampshaded. During his talk with Professor X, Wolverine can't understand why she left the plane when there was another way, so even he seems to think he death was entirely unnecessary. This carries with it the implication that Jean's stupidity is actually a conscious decision to let herself be hit with the water, for whatever reason.
 * And changing Wolverine's Character Development arc from "amnesiac loner with a Dark and Troubled Past discovers his own humanity" to "amnesiac loner with a Dark and Troubled Past discovers the value of teamwork" was inexcusable.
 * Does anyone buy that mutants would suddenly be accepted by the rest of human society and not actively hunted down after an army of them attack soldiers, show just one can move the entire golden gate bridge and another that can create a massive vortex of sheer vaporizing power? Honestly? Just because one group of mutants fought another group of mutants, all mutants are good until proven otherwise?
 * This was acknowledged in one scene, in which the president tells Beast that he's trying to do his best to keep things smooth, but that he worries about how the world will survive with mutants "who can lift cities with their minds".
 * 3 was just one long Wallbanger. Magneto simply abandoning a close friend who incidentally knows all of his plans? Maybe he'd treat her as needing to be cured of not being a mutant, but simply leaving her there was ludicrously out of character.
 * Except that it was apparently deliberate. Mystique was "abandoned" so that she could turn state's evidence on Magneto by revealing the location of his secret base... his FAKE secret base, inhabited entirely by Multiple Man.... keeping the military busy while he assembled his army elsewhere. Presumably she VOLUNTEERED for this gambit.
 * And then there's the whole idea of the mobile prisons. This was apparently Executive Meddling (the Alcatraz sequence was supposed to be the jailbreak, but Magneto moving the Golden Gate was the big effect shot, so it got shunted illogically to the end of the movie and the script made approximately three times as idiotic to compensate) but this doesn't excuse the utter stupidity of trying to keep someone away from Magneto by putting them in a convoy of poorly defended metal things, or the logistics of keeping a convoy of vehicles in constant motion.
 * And then there's the Alcatraz scene itself. Soooooo, let's get this straight: Magneto has lifted the Golden Gate Bridge. Magneto wants to kill someone in an exposed cell on the top floor of the complex. Magneto for some reason doesn't think to either drop the bridge on the building or just crush the whole reinforced concrete structure using its own rebars. Idiot Ball, anyone?
 * X Men Origins: Wolverine. The final villain is  and his katanas are retractable just like Wolverine's claws (which led fans to call him Barakapool).
 * The next question: didn't his new wristanas look a bit longer than his forearms were? So he can't have had them fully sheathed and bent his arms at the same time?
 * Lady Deathstrike's claws were significantly longer than her fingers, likely the same deal.
 * Yes, but wouldn't her claws be able to go past the wrist?
 * I remember looking at the X2 website a long time ago, and I remember this opening animation of LD's claws coming out as segments. It's silly but maybe that's how she can move her fingers; the claws are only in her fingertips.
 * Also, his mouth was stitched shut. Yes, that's right, . Unleash Nerd Rage!
 * And then there's the whole
 * Wait a minute: Wouldn't you need a barrel made from even harder alloy to even fire those?
 * No, you just need to lubricate the bullets to minimize damage to the barrel. Armour piercing rounds are made from in tungsten and that's much harder than the barrel's steel.
 * And it's not as if his skull was vaporized/replaced by molten adamantium 30 minutes earlier with no harmful side effects. Oh wait...
 * Even more to the point: bullets do not work that way! Bullets have to be made from soft metal or they don't catch the rifling in the barrel, won't spin, and will fire like a musket, even from a sniper rifle.
 * The bullets are probably an adamantium penetrator jacketed in something softer, like copper or cupronickel. The same kind of thing that jackets an FMJ round. That's how they make armour piercing bullets now.
 * Stryker has a revolver. This revolver has a six-bullet capacity. He fires all six bullets at Wolverine, Then, seconds later, Stryker  But it's an empty gun, making what would be a tense moment (if you hadn't seen X2) into one that's kind of funny.
 * What I simply don't get is how does an adamantium bullet penetrate a skull coated WITH THE SAME MATERIAL?! It would have made sense if he had shot him through the eyes or up the nose, which has been shown in the comics, or even if Wolverine had slowly lost his memory as a side effect of the bonding process. But somehow the toughest material in the universe is able to penetrate itself.
 * Well, diamonds can cut each other. Maybe the same principle would work for Adamantium.
 * You can't * cut* something with something else made of the same material, but you can penetrate a sheet of one material with a projectile of the same material, as long as it has enough mass and kinetic energy. Actually, it's more like tearing through the sheet rather than penetrating it outright, but the end result is the same, it goes through. In this case, the sheet would be Wolverine's skull. After all, lead bullets can penetrate steel plates even if lead is softer than steel.
 * Given enough kinetic force, you are right. But Adamantium is stated to be impenetrable, so it should be at least much more strong than any real world alloy. You should not be able to break it with a bullet, not even an adamantium one, more than steel arrows fired by a bow could penetrate a tank. Stryker should have used some sort of juiced-up rifle to keep some tenue verosimility.
 * Continuing from this line of thought—shooting an adamantium skull with an adamantium bullet only causes a little dint that makes you lose your memory, but you can cut a guy's adamantium neck off with adamantium claws? A bullet would travel somewhat faster than a roundhouse, one would have thought.
 * Deadpool didn't have adamantium in his skeleton. The one doc points out they haven't done the grafting yet when Striker wants him activated.
 * Oh, and Deadpool has this CONTINUOUSLY FIRING broad-range eyebeams that can destroy entire concrete structures (that you discover after his death), but doesn't think to just leave them on the whole time he's fighting Sabretooth and Wolverine? It's almost as if the movie gave Deadpool too much power and the script relies on continuing Deus Ex Machina to resolve the fight in the designated hero's favour.
 * The entire Gambit scene is a giant Wall Banger. Gambit hates Creed. Logan shows up and tells him he's going to kill Creed. Remy suspects Logan is working with him and attacks. Creed randomly shows up for no apparent reason and fights with Logan. Gambit then, after seeing Creed (a man he knows is his enemy) fighting Logan (a man he only suspects to be his enemy only because of his possible affiliation WITH CREED) decides to attack Logan and allow Creed to escape. And then he displays random Spider-Man agility. And Logan takes out a fire escape in a manner befitting Looney Tunes. THEN, Gambit declares "You really DO want to kill him!" and decides to help Logan after all. One imagines how an idiot of this magnitude escaped the island.
 * "He has no way of getting that jacket back!"
 * The same female character getting fridged twice for the sake of Wolverine's "character development".
 * The most baffling part of his girlfriend's "death" to anyone familiar with the comics (or the first 3 movies...or the cartoon) is that one of Wolverine's PRIMARY powers is his sense of smell, how the HELL did he not realise that the blood covering his girlfriend wasn't hers? Not to mention he's pretty damn good at figuring out if someone is really dead from yards away; in a recent comic he enters a large research facility that he'd never been in before and is able to discern that there is a "female, dead" somewhere within...and THAT was a girl he didn't know and therefore was unfamiliar with her scent.
 * Or heck, why he didn't notice that there weren't large gashes all over her body? Seriously, for that much blood to be all over a corpse, one would imagine that the wounds would be visible.
 * Let's pretend for a moment that Wolverine's super senses weren't enough to realize she wasn't really dead. Why didn't he take her to a hospital? It would've taken a doctor five minutes to realize she had no wounds and she was, in fact, alive.
 * If Wolvie thinks she's dead, getting her to a hospital isn't going to do much. Also, Wolverine's a major rage case. He finds his lover dead, he's not going to be thinking anything other than "Kill the SOB who did it."
 * Okay, seriously people, are Wolverine's brother Victor Creed and Sabretooth from the X-Men Trilogy meant to be the same character or not? Or have they just adapted to film the same character twice?
 * To be fair, Victor Creed is never called Sabertooth in Wolverine's movie. And Sabertooth never gives his real name in the first X-Men.
 * Wolverine is named after a small, vicious animal. Sabretooth is named after one of the largest cats that ever lived. In the comics and cartoons, Wolverine is a short, hairy guy, and Sabretooth is gigantic, and calls Wolverine "shorty" all the time. In the original X-Men movie, Wolverine is too damn tall, but at least Tyler Mane's Sabretooth is even larger. So what do we do for the prequel? We recast Sabretooth as Liev Schreiber, who is in fact shorter than Hugh Jackman. So Wolverine is now taller than Sabretooth, thus ruining the entire dynamic between the two characters. That's like making Sam Gamgee physically larger than Shelob.
 * Actually, according to IMDB, Schreiber is half an inch taller than Jackman. Of course this makes them about equal.
 * The explanation most people are having is "he gets animalistic" over the movies (although not even Dr. Manhattan understands how).
 * One assumes Stryker eventually subjected him to a LOT of genetic testing.
 * Wolverine's girlfriend turns out to . We find this out in a climactic scene where she tearfully confesses that  . Said general is very much within arm's reach. How hard would it been, over the years of their 'working together,' to just get a hand on him?
 * To the movie's credit, she said that Stryker was always very careful. Still doesn't justify the plot hole.
 * Stryker had a large number of mutants locked up, almost all of which had been kidnapped, were quite powerful, and would have loved to hurt him badly. Chances are, he took a good many precautions and prep work to keep himself safe in case a mutant did try to off him.
 * How the hell could Wolverine block  eyebeams with his claws? Yes, adamantium is incredibly durable, but why didn't the eyebeams go through the gaps between the claws?
 * Not only that, but just because you block something doesn't mean it's harmless. You can block a missile with a suit of armor, but that doesn't mean you're going to stand there unharmed. The real question is how was Wolverine just standing there without being thrown a mile away?
 * This is Wolverine, people. He's just that awesome.
 * The fact that he had fairly large hunks of metal tearing the already formed neural pathways in his brain apart and suffers severe amnesia as a result isn't too hard to believe if you take into account that Logan's healing factor probably didn't have an exact map of the original pathways handy when it started reconstruction, but then try to factor in the fact that he never seems to have had those bullets removed. So...how does that work out? He just walks around with big honking bullets in his gray matter like it's no big deal? For that matter, his healing factor has never been seen to include the adamantium so how does he even heal that? Without someone like Magneto on hand to a) remove the bullets for him and b) reshape the adamantium in his skull in order to fix the gaping holes there's not a lot he can do there.
 * X-Men 2: There were nozzles in Magneto's prison cell that give out highly effective knock-out gas. That's reasonable, nah, brilliant in its simplicity and usefulness. In fact, every time there is a similar premise (a chamber where they need to prevent somebody from entering and/or leaving) but without a knock-out gas dispenser installed, it leaves me screaming: "You idiots, why didn't you install a knock-out gas dispenser?" Then Magneto attempts escape...and the gas is not used at all!!!
 * For a start, the guards didn't know he was making a successful escape attempt until he shattered the walls of his cell- the same walls that keep the gas in. Magneto takes about a minute or two to actually pass out when the nozzles are first used, and that's because the cell is small enough for the gas to build up to effective levels quickly. Once the walls are broken down, not only is the gas pumping into a much larger space (assuming the nozzles still work), but Magneto isn't waiting around to see what happens next. Ergo, the gas is pretty much useless unless the cell walls are intact.
 * For a start he killed a guard. Rather slowly and in a manner clearly indicating presence of metal. If that's not a reason enough to start pumping in the gas, I don't know what is (please, don't say they didn't have video surveillance in his cell, have mercy for the wall). And the gas is NOT useless, because, even if Magneto breaks out, you can still flood the whole building with gas!
 * While the first point is valid (holy shit he's killing the guy slowly and horribly! Why aren't we doing anything!) the second fails because it still takes time to flood the area with enough gas to make it work.
 * Maybe they don't have video surveillance in his cell because the cameras would necessarily 1)be placed in line-of-sight from him and 2)contain metal circuitry. That said, if they can't use cameras they ought to have a guard stationed at a watch post 24/7.
 * No, we actually do see a security camera in Magneto's cell switch off during Stryker's visit. It's not clear if it was ever switched on again, so perhaps the security guards just got lazy; after all, these are the same guards who caught a blip on the metal detector and didn't bother to check what was wrong.
 * X-Men: First Class. The mutants have just saved the world from the Omnicidal Maniac and prevented the Third World War, so the grateful humanity (ok, the US and USSR leaders), as a token of appreciation, decides to wipe them out with a Macross Missile Massacre. Magneto stops the missiles and then directs them back at the battleships that fired them. Xavier, naturally tries to dissuade him from this act of cruelty by reminding Eric that there are thousands of sailors on the ships who were... Just Following Orders. He says this to Eric. The Holocaust survivor. *Face Palm*
 * Young Eric witnesses his mother shot right before his eyes by the Big Bad, and lets loose his powers in shock and hate against... the two hapless mooks standing behind him. Why didn't Eric just kill the person who killed his mother who is also sitting right in front of him?
 * Probably because the man in question could absorb all energy (including kinetic, we'd assume - nullifying all projectiles).
 * How, and with what control? He couldn't even really turn his powers on consciously yet; the two mooks died due to misfortune rather than intent. And even if he tried, it *still* wouldn't have done anything to Shaw.
 * How, and with what control? He couldn't even really turn his powers on consciously yet; the two mooks died due to misfortune rather than intent. And even if he tried, it *still* wouldn't have done anything to Shaw.

Other Films, Part 1
""Well, hardly anyone has read the book!""
 * A.I.: Artificial Intelligence. Most of the movie is okay; then there's the ending.  The End. WAIT, no,   The End. WAIT, no,  The End. WAIT,  The End. WAIT, but   The End. WAIT, then  The End.
 * The above description of the end is executed perfectly here.
 * Angels & Demons. In the very beginning, the thief who steals the antimatter from CERN uses the torn out eye of the priest/doctor to open the retinal lock to the lab which contains the antimatter. But the doctor was inside the lab at the time. How did he get inside the lab to kill the doc and steal the eye which he used as the key to get inside the lab?
 * The assassin starting an unnecessary gun battle with the policemen trying to save the third cardinal from being burned, instead of just leaving.
 * Many people, including Roger Ebert, have viewed the Gambit Roulette from Arlington Road as being incredibly suspension of disbelief-stretching.
 * The Strangers is chock-full of wallbangers! First, we have the leading lady being terrified by nothing more than knocks; then the boyfriend arrives, sees her almost in shock, and doesn't believe her. THEN the best friend arrives after a while and sees destruction; his own windshield is destroyed, loud music comes from the house... His answer? Call the police? No, that's too easy. Go inside and get killed? You got it... Then the house has been easily broken into and the guy... tells his girlfriend to stay there while he goes to call for help on the radio. What a trio of morons.
 * To expand on the last one, the couple had a shotgun and some ammo; the three villains had an axe and two knives. The couple had holed up in the bedroom with the shotgun facing the only entrance, and so it was game over in the short term because there was no way for the villains to come in without getting shot. The guy decided to go for the radio, which is fair enough—if they just stayed, there would still be the problem of eventually falling asleep. But going on his own was a bad idea for both of them. If Liv Tyler had gone with him, she could have helped him keep an eye out for the villains, and made sure they didn't sneak up on him and grab the gun. Instead, she was left a sitting duck—alone, with no weapon and with the villains almost certainly knowing her location. That they didn't kill her there and then was most likely just because they were doing all this For the Evulz and didn't want the fun to end yet.
 * The shotgun is a good point. If you have a gun and the bad guys don't, you can just walk out to the street and keep right on walking until you get somewhere safe.
 * To make matters worse, this movie has a "based on true events" tag, but the way the story unfolds, there's no way that even the best detectives could have come up with that level of detail, especially with details like the masks.
 * It actually has nothing to do with the original crime besides basic plot. Read about it on the Other Wiki
 * Armageddon is so loaded with Hollywood Science that it has become something of a Running Gag on the Bad Astronomy website.
 * Apparently, NASA has the same opinion and sometimes shows it to managers to see how many errors they can spot.
 * Deep Impact was supposed to be serious, which might make its inaccuracies worse. For instance, the four nuclear devices causing a clean cut in the comet (as shown in a graphic in the movie) is impossible on several levels.
 * At one point in the Bruckheimer/Bay film Pearl Harbor, the leads disobey orders to land in order to do a "cool" flyby stunt. Not only is this an ill-placed Homage to Top Gun (also produced by Jerry Bruckheimer), but the film also tries to justify this by making it crucial to fighting off the Japanese attack later.
 * For people who study WWII history, another one is the statement that "P-40's can't outrun Zeroes. We'll have to outfly them!" Problem is, this is near when Americans were dogfighting Zeroes for the first time. The powers that be didn't know what they were capable of yet. Why should our leads?
 * The above Fridge Logic is unintentionally mitigated by the fact that the pilot's statement is completely wrong. The P-40 had a higher max speed than the Zero (both in level flight and while diving), but was less maneuverable. A horizontal dogfight is the worst possible tactic in this situation.
 * The aviators of the Imperial Japanese Navy were the best-trained, most experienced fighter pilots in the world at the start of World War II. Most of the American fighter pilots were complacent at best. (This is averted with the leads of the movie, who have had other flying experience, but two pilots flying demonstrably inferior aircraft against the cream of the IJN requires a massive suspension of disbelief). The skill level of American pilots relative to Japanese pilots wouldn't level out until later in the war because the Japanese didn't rotate their best pilots into training billets periodically the way the Americans did. As the war went on, the Americans got better as the Japanese got worse.
 * Early on in the movie there is a scene the supposedly takes place at Mitchell Field on Long Island (it is now a shopping mall). Problem...there is a mountain in the distance.
 * The Romantic Plot Tumor.
 * The complete omission of the likes of Kenneth Taylor and George Welch. During the attack, Taylor, Welch and a handful of others managed to get into the air and did whatever they could to fight back. In this movie, Rafe and Danny are the only ones to do so. (It's been said that Rafe and Danny were - at least in this part - supposed to be based on Taylor and Welch.) Having any fictional characters taking part in real-life events is nothing new to movies, but them being the only ones to perform a noteworthy act that real people did? Ridiculous and insulting. It stinks of a desperate attempt to make Rafe and Danny look like heroes and at the expense of real-life heroes. Unsurprisingly, Kenneth Taylor was quoted as denouncing the movie.
 * Dante's Peak is sometimes praised for being more scientific than its opponent Volcano, but it jumps between being terribly inconsistent with the effects of a volcanic eruption or ignoring them outright. The lake near Ruth's cabin becomes acidic and starts corroding their boat, yet somehow leaves the fish (dead, but whole) floating on the surface. Then Ruth jumps into the lake and pushes their boat to the pier - but they were almost there anyway, and were even moving faster than before by wrapping up their arms to paddle. And an elderly woman isn't exactly as acid-resistant as a metal boat. Then she ignores her family, who are trying to help her out of the water, and slooowly wades up onto the shore. Of course, none of them would've been in that situation if Ruth had listened to the evacuation warnings in the first place, or if she and the children (who somehow drove a rescue vehicle up to her cabin during the eruption) hadn't put off evacuating later to go after her dog. The dog that the family was completely willing to sacrifice if it hadn't been able to jump into their jeep at the end.
 * Oh, and they're driving the jeep through a lava flow, but aside from the tires bursting into flames, this has no ill effects. Finally, the family gets stuck in a collapsed tunnel, but are able to use the experimental drone the doctor had brought along to contact help. However, they aren't rescued until a few days later, because apparently the scientists didn't think a distress signal being given off by their expensive prototype in a disaster area was worth noticing. And the characters have no difficulty breathing on the mountainside, even when they're walking through a forest where all the trees have been coated with volcanic ash!
 * In Bruce Almighty, God allows Bruce to accidentally kill, injure, and render homeless hundreds of innocent South East Asians, just to teach him a lesson. Even if this really happens, we don't necessarily want to see it in secular fiction.
 * No, he didn't. He explicitly states to Bruce when Bruce finally asks for help, "That wasn't the world, that was New York, between 15th and 20th," or something to that effect. The 'effects' to the world were there only to make sure Bruce learned his lesson. Bruce didn't affect anything but his own life, really.
 * Not true. When Bruce asks for help, it's because of all the prayers, and the PRAYERS are just from the Buffalo area. Bruce pulling the fucking moon out of its normal orbit has some knock-on effect.
 * It seemed more like God was telling Bruce the only time he helped was when dealing with the thugs.
 * The huge Wall Banger in the movie is that with the power of God, you can stop time and operate normally within it, catching up on every prayer in femtoseconds, figuring out consequences, etc.
 * Money says Bruce still didn't have the patience for that.
 * Better still, with the power of God, he could snap his fingers and grant all the prayers in a second. Remember, the god whose powers he received is said to be omnipotent—there shouldn't be any limits to how quickly he can grant prayers.
 * The sequel, Evan Almighty, has Morgan Freeman doing a bad job of being God again. In order to teach Evan the value of a Act of Random Kindness and punish the corrupt politician played by John Goodman, God allows (or forces) a dam to break, flooding Washington D.C. under a veritable tidal wave. Now, not only is it doubtful that everyone was evacuated in time (we're spared the sight of people in the cars swept up by the wave), but Washington D.C. is also built on marshy and unstable ground. It's possible that the resulting property damage would cost billions to repair. Yes, that's billions of dollars in damage to the capital city of the United States, just to teach An Aesop to two people.
 * Yeah, because God never flooded the shit out of something before...
 * Or that He promised to never do it again afterwards. Oh, wait, that's exactly what He did, so THIS is the biggest Wall Banger of all! Although "The Flood was a love story, because all those people on the Ark, they stood for each other."
 * It seems likely that in the first case, God hit a Reset Button to undo all the damage Bruce did and in the sequel, he prevented massive damage beyond a bunch of stuff getting wet. Although, this doesn't justify any of it, as surely there's a better way to teach Bruce than to let him accidentally wipe out cities and a better way to teach Evan than to terrify the shit out of all of Washington DC.
 * Event Horizon: The fact that no one at NASA or the NSA could recognize, let alone translate a few words of Latin.
 * Mission Impossible III: Hunt's first reaction to hearing his wife was taken was to run away from his own company. If he'd gone along quietly, then he probably wouldn't have been tied up in a Hannibal Lecter mask, and he could have explained the situation to the people who could help him resolve it. Instead of having the rest of his team become fugitives to help him, he could have gone ahead with the full support of the spy network. Almost the whole rest of the movie could have played out the same way. Talk about Fake Difficulty.
 * Because people act so logically when they hear their loved ones are in danger. Not to mention
 * And keep in mind the context. Hunt runs to the hospital because he realizes his wife is in danger. Why is his wife in danger? Because the Big Bad's Mooks just staged a commando operation on American soil, with at least one civilian wounded. Why did they need to do that? Because Ethan captured the Big Bad. How? By leading an unauthorized kidnapping operation despite his Obstructive Bureaucrat boss telling him explicitly not to. He would be in trouble even without the terrorism his op resulted in.
 * Mission: Impossible 2's supreme Wall Banger occurs when Ethan infiltrates "Claw Island", Sean Ambrose's headquarters. He blows open a door leading to the room where Ambrose and the CEO of a pharmaceutical company are making a deal, and walks by, daring Ambrose to come out and face him. Ambrose sends his lieutenant, Hugh, and a fight scene commences between Hunt and Hugh that ends with both of them diving out of the way of a grenade. Hugh pulls a mute Hunt into the room a minute or two later, and comments to Ambrose that he thinks Hunt's jaw is broken. Ambrose ends up "shooting" Hunt to death, but then discovers that it's Hugh wearing a facemask of Hunt. How did Hunt have time to create a facemask of himself in that short a time, and where is the equipment he needed for the process?
 * Even more ridiculously, Ambrose had previously fooled two other people by showing up wearing a facemask of Hunt. And yet it didn't even occur to him that Hunt might have been doing the exact same thing? Apparently not. Given how Genre Savvy Ambrose proved to be earlier in the film - and the bit where he'd worked for the IMF before going rogue - the only way this makes sense is if he'd been repeatedly concussed with the Idiot Ball in the interim.
 * Only plausible explanation: Hunt had the mask with him all along. (If so, then his plans are damn complex...) He should have taken more masks of himself. The possibilities of making Mooks look like you are endless. It makes you wonder what else Hunt had in his surprisingly lightweight arsenal.
 * Given that Hunt killed countless mooks before and after, wouldn't it have been smart to eliminate the most dangerous enemy right then?
 * The objective is the virus, not the Big Bad. Also, he wanted to save Nyah. He's not quite good enough to kill everyone without risking the virus and cure getting damaged.
 * John Woo, if you switch the tyres on the bikes, don't show them in a closeup. What might be a simple goof turns ridiculous.
 * George Romero's Land of the Dead ends on a big one. After the (somewhat sympathetic) zombie Big Daddy appears to the Dead Reckoning crew, one of the crew members moves to fire at him and his horde until Riley stops her saying, "They're just looking for a place to go, just like us." Never mind that a Zombie Apocalypse just destroyed more than 99% of the world's population (leaving them with plenty of places to "go") or that Big Daddy's forces just decimated one of the last bastions of human civilization on the planet.
 * Romero speaks frequently about the "evolution" of the zombies from film to film. In the original, they just wanted food. In Dawn, they just want to shop and eat people. In Day, it's revealed their need to eat is purely instinctual, and they can get by just fine without eating. Land shows the zombies becoming aware of their abilities (you don't need to breathe underwater when you're already dead) and trying to live their unlives (Big Daddy tends to his service station, the band plays on in the gazebo) until the humans show up to bring unwelcome discomfort. They retaliate, not out of need for food, but because of lack of respect for their boundaries. The dead were clearly the victors in the man vs. zombie war.
 * The military's reaction to the invading horde. Don't they teach these people to aim for the head? It takes that one soldier in the beginning so much ammo to kill one immobile zombie you wonder if she can see straight. One guard, safe in a watchtower, looks down, sees the zombies surrounding the tower, and jumps down, getting eaten almost instantly.
 * They do not teach these people to aim for the head. They teach them to aim for the larger target, that being the chest. Alas, that only works for living creatures.
 * The movie takes place several years after zombies have become a fact of every day life. They see zombies every day, and every survivor by now knows that you have to shoot them in the head. If they're not teaching soldiers to shoot for the head at this point, that's just Too Dumb to Live.
 * Planet of the Apes was a great movie, with a surprising understanding, love, and respect of science. But there was an inconsistency early on: Taylor says that he will travel 500 years into the future, then 2,000. We then see displays saying both 500 and 2,000 years. What?
 * The ending of Tim Burton's remake of Planet of the Apes is maddening if you enjoyed the rest of the film, and still manages to be a mental stretch even if you know the Word of God explanation.
 * Signs. The ending! The aliens were defeated by the use of water. The standard defense is that the water is not just symbolic; it's used by a priest who gets this as perhaps literal Word of God by the director M. Night Shyamalan. Shyamalan has stated repeatedly to anyone who will listen that the aliens were not aliens, but demons. That's right. Not an alien movie at all, but a deeply religious movie. The water? As stated above: holy water and thus effective against demons. So those 'space ships' were apparently not spaceships. And... that must mean that demons don't know how to operate doors...
 * Word of God, however, does not explain how water is described as anti-alien by Shyamalan's own Author Avatar and is instrumental in pushing the aliens off Earth entirely. There is moisture in the air of this planet. All the white puffy clouds are water vapor. The surface of the planet is 75% water. The atmosphere contains water. Whatever you are, if water melts you, then going anywhere near a planet with so much water is suicidal.
 * Not to mention running apparently unscathed through a cornfield in the middle of the night, which any farm kid can tell you would leave you soaked in dew on the other end.
 * To quote Cracked magazine: "It's like humans landing on a planet where 70 percent of the surface is covered in molten lava, and the inhabitants are basically just moving sacks of lava. Even the atmosphere is so dense with lava vapor that often lava just rains from the sky with little to no warning. So what's your plan of attack? If you say anything other than "Jump out of the spaceship completely naked, your junk proudly flopping about, and engage the lava monsters in hand-to-hand combat," then congratulations — you are smarter than the aliens in Signs."
 * And if it's all holy water -- how did they drive the aliens out of countries that don't believe in holy water?
 * Earlier in the movie, the son picks up a book from his local bookstore about aliens and uses that to predict that the aliens aren't going to launch huge conventional attacks on the planet for fear of nuclear retaliation. Even ignoring that they are treating a book on a hypothetical alien invasion that was probably written by a hack as the best source of advice -- how can anyone could be sure that these aliens couldn't counter a nuclear weapon?
 * Pretty sure that was explained as "aliens" wouldn't be personally threatened by the nukes, but the use of nukes would do so much damage to the planet that they'd no longer have any use for it.
 * In the Prince Caspian movie, the attack on the castle, start to finish. Peter deciding it was a good plan, Caspian's men agreeing to it, Caspian getting sidetracked by sudden vengeance on Miraz, Peter and Susan getting sidetracked by Caspian, not securing the gate before attacking guards, going on with the attack after the castle garrison was alerted... There is a reason that "storming the castle" didn't get past the discussion stage in the book.
 * Caspian, who was willing to wreck the castle assault to kill Miraz, has Peter challenge Miraz to a battle. Peter defeats him but then decides not to kill him, instead offering his life to Caspian. In a move which is supposed to represent his maturing, Caspian also decides not to kill him - which leaves the way open for Sopesian to stab Miraz with one of Susan's arrows, cry treachery, and force a huge battle between the Telmarines and the Old Narnians. Since Caspian is a Telmarine who is on the side of the Old Narnians, this could have been a no-win situation for him in the long run; one of Peter or Caspian killing Miraz would've been more sensible. (The book doesn't have this situation - the henchman kills Miraz and cries treachery before the one-on-one between Miraz and Peter has finished, and so Caspian doesn't bear any responsibility there.)
 * Actually that part is justified; Caspian was originally just going to rescue his tutor but then the tutor said too much and Caspian went into a bit of a Heroic BSOD, which Peter called him out on, and as for suggesting to keep battling despite being doomed, it's called pride.
 * There is also the end, after the dust has settled, where Prince Caspian returns triumphant to his kingdom... after having slaughtered the town guards several days previous. Not unheard of in movies, but the townspeople are practically throwing a party before their husbands/neighbors are even cold in the ground. Then again, both sides are.
 * In New Jack City, drug lord Nino Brown, in a last ditch effort to save his own hide, fingers one of his lieutenants as the real head of the Cash Money Brothers and promises that if he goes down, he's dragging a lot of people with him. Apparently, the D.A. on the case left her brain at home; not only does she take Nino (who they KNOW was responsible for several high profile murders, including a cop) at his word, but she also cuts him a deal on the spot for five years in return for testimony. The idea that the D.A. would even consider this deal was insulting enough; when we find out that this was all just to set up Nino's Karmic Death, it leaves a bad taste all around.
 * It should be noted that Darryl Whiting, the Boston drug lord Nino was based on, tried the same thing during his trial. Neither the prosecutor nor the jury bought it: he got life.
 * The Apocalypse scenario in the 2002 film version of The Time Machine. It had the world be devastated when the nuclear excavation charges used for a moon colony shifted the Moon out of orbit. The Moon is not some little asteroid that can be shifted around with a few nuclear blasts; it's a world with an appreciable fraction of Earth's mass. The energy requirements to shift the orbit of something like that are enormous, more than the entire present nuclear stockpile of the world, even using the most unrealistically large assumptions. The Bad Astronomer once guesstimated it to be a similar order of magnitude to the atomisation energy of the moon.
 * They state clearly that the nuclear explosions triggered unexpected tectonic reactions in the Moon that eventually caused the whole thing to split apart. It's the not nukes alone, they're just the catalyst.
 * They must have been very unexpected, since the Moon does not have a liquid core and thus cannot have tectonic reactions.
 * Any scientific explanation that we could come up with now for the destruction of the moon would have prevented the project from occurring in the first place. The moon could only be destroyed by something we don't know about now.
 * Later in the film, Jeremy Irons' character, the head of an underground cannibalistic race, is hanging out of the time machine with only his hands inside the time traveling bubble. Guy Pierce starts to travel forward in time very quickly. Thus, he ages quickly (from Guy Pierce's viewpoint inside the fast-time-traveling bubble) except for his hands inside the time machine.... No, no, no! He would have lost sensation in his hands due to a complete difference in timestreams and let go, or else he would have died of thirst within a couple of days from his perspective, or else he would have had his hands cut off and then fallen to his death, since nobody can see the time machine while it's time-travelling (according to events earlier in the film).
 * The apocalypse wasn't because the moon moved, it was because the nuclear excavation blasted half the moon into dust and sent thousands of chunks of moon raining down upon Earth hard enough to leave the surface nigh uninhabitable for thousands of years.
 * That still would take far more than mere nukes, which they were using to drill tunnels. Oh, and drilling tunnels with nukes is also stupid.
 * It also doesn't explain why anybody would be so stupid as to tunnel through the moon to the extent that it causes that kind or reaction. You would think that they would be slightly more cautious. Or that they would do something far more pragmatic than build on the moon to that extent in the first place.
 * A little more Ryan Reynolds: Blade: Trinity. Combat playlist. Why not just go in wearing a blindfold?
 * Also from Blade: Trinity. Blade can beat up vampires, for he is a half-vampire superman. Fair enough. Ryan Reynolds can't beat up vampires despite looking even bigger and stronger than Blade, being a former vampire (and therefore older than he looks) and knowing martial arts. So why the hell can Jessica Biel kick them around the room with awkward-looking roundhouse kicks?
 * Well, Most Common Superpower, Duh.
 * They also make a big deal about Blade being hunted by the authorities, yet after he escapes from jail he's whoppin' Familiars in broad daylight! Subtle.
 * Don't forget how Blade is framed for murdering a Familiar disguised as a vampire, even though in the first film it's established Blade can distinguish the subtle nuances between humans and vampires. *headdesk*
 * Being fair, that was a familiar deliberately trying to be mistaken for a vampire, and doing so with the assistance of other vampires. Cues can be faked.
 * Sex and the City: The Movie. Why the fuck didn't Carrie just . Made a billion times worse because she has Heroic BSOD about it in Mexico (Samantha has to spoon feed her at one point to get her to eat anything) and doesn't really get over it for the better part of a year. And no one treats this as overreacting. Jerkass Sue ahoy.
 * The stupid, stupid ways she was prevented from answering Big's calls on her cell phone. And how we're supposed to believe that her getting married at the end in a label-less dress is somehow a moral of not letting labels run your life, despite the whole rest of the movie being a love letter to designer labels.
 * Especially since she was wearing blue Manolo Blahnik shoes.
 * The implication that Miranda's one stressed-out, angry, off-the-cuff remark to Big about how marriage sucks, somehow contributed to him getting cold feet. I'm sorry, how old is Big?
 * For me, the entire premise of the film's ending is a wallbanger. Sex and the City was supposed to be about female empowerment and liberation, and yet And this is supposed to be a happy ending?? We're supposed to find this thrilling romantic? Jesus.
 * The assertion that "Sex and the City was supposed to be about female empowerment and liberation" when the entire series has been nothing but female gender stereotype after female gender stereotype gives me a headache
 * The creeper from Jeepers Creepers slaughters an entire police precinct, but there's no major development of law enforcement in the sequel looking for this creature. Or at least no developments that follow the Rule of Perception.
 * The sequel even had a conversation heard over a police scanner about two abduction reports that sounded "out there".
 * The previous posts have apparently forgotten that the sequel takes place at least 20 or 30 years before the original. There's no way they would change the way the precinct is run for something that happens in the future. So your walls can rest easy.
 * The sequel takes place in the same week as the first. The end of the movie is 23 years after the rest of the movie, but that's all. The lack of police is most definitely a Wall Banger, even if the highway both movies were set around were massive (which was repeatedly mentioned). Then again, he wiped out almost the entire precinct, right? Who would be left to start a state-wide manhunt from a mostly unmanned police station in the middle of no where only 4 days later?
 * Federal Agents for one. There would be a small army looking for that creature in less than 4 days. Killing a whole police precinct is a VERY BIG DEAL, no matter how rural the area. Surviving policemen saw the thing as well. There's just no excuse as to why there isn't a sizable force combing the highways and skies.
 * Considering its a 23 year gap, maybe there was a massive search for some creepy serial killer who slaughtered the police. The investigation could have lasted years and never have noticed a strange looking scarecrow, which is pretty much what the creeper is when he's sleeping.
 * Accept there wasn't a 20+ year gap after the first film. The time skip doesn't happen till the creeper gets caught by that guy and his son.
 * Here's one good question. If the farmer got his hands on the Creeper while it was in its stasis/hibernation, why tie it to your wall and wait for it to wake up to try and kill it? Why not just have the thing cremated or something similar? It's practically immortal, but come on.
 * How in the hell can Michael Meyers avoid being sought by a huge manhunt? Most authorities seem apathetic and indifferent towards hunting him down.
 * "I'm sorry, ma'am, but your serial-killer brother escaped a couple of days ago, and he probably knows where you are. Thought you'd like to know. What, police? Oh, no need to bother them, I'm sure you can just call us when you see him kthx bye."
 * It finally happened in Halloween 4, in which a posse gets together to kill Michael Meyers after he kills everyone at the Haddonfield Police Headquarters. Michael does manage to kill several vigilantes, but he is eventually "killed" when a whole mob of them empty everything they've got into him. It's about one-and-a-half movies late, but still...
 * In Halloween 5, Myers is revealed to have survived the mob shooting and fell through a mine shaft and ended up on the floor of a hermit's shack where he became comatose before reviving next Halloween and killing the hermit. This, of course, means that Myers laid on the floor of this shack for a year and the hermit did absolutely nothing about it. He didn't inform paramedics or cops, he didn't get rid of the body, or even move the body out of the shack. If a movie character was ever Too Dumb to Live, this hermit was it.
 * John Carpenter has consistently said that Michael Myers is not a physical creature capable of being killed, but the visual personification of unbridled evil. That is, while you can see him and he can do things to you, he's not actually there physically, and can appear and disappear as it sees fit. But then, the cops don't know that...
 * Also he was supposed to die in Halloween 2
 * Pet Sematary 2 never specifically explains what happened to Louis and Rachel Creed.
 * The in the original ruined the movie. Even if he is evil, how is he smart enough to plot murder? How is he strong and skilled enough to be any match for his victims, both of whom were awake and alert when he killed them? How did he carry  into the attic and hang her from there?
 * The book makes it clearer that he's not just an evil version of himself, he's possessed by evil spirits from the woods. So yeah, more intelligence, and presumably strength. The first draft of the screenplay made this clearer as well, being written by King himself.
 * By that logic, maybe the cat should have started killing people, too.
 * The cat did start killing people. It never got past one though.
 * The sequel completely ruins the let-the-dead-be-dead moral of the first book. Not only that, did they follow the first movie? Did the resurrected sheriff go on a violent rampage? No, he actually acts quite normal, if not for being rather disgusting at some parts. Not only that, but when Jeff . Did Mary Lambert even pay attention to the plot of the first movie? That. Doesn't. Happen. The zombies do not act civilized or anything. They're wrong. You spent a whole movie/book explaining that.
 * Micah in Paranormal Activity is quite possibly the physical embodiment of this trope. The psychic at the beginning of the movie tells Micah to not antagonize the demon; what does he do? He antagonizes it almost every night that something happens. The psychic tells Micah to, under any circumstances, never, ever use a Ouija board to communicate with the demon because doing so would invite the demon into their home; what does he do? He borrows a Ouija board. The situation becomes progressively worse as time passes; does Micah listen to Katie and call a demonologist? Hell no; he thinks he can solve the problem himself., Micah decides that they should leave the house and stay in a hotel. He's about to leave, until, suddenly, Katie forgoes the notion and tells him to stay in the house for the night, despite the fact that she's been absolutely terrified the last week. Guess what happens in the middle of the night?
 * This, and the fact Micah only started taking this seriously when Katie got physically hurt. Until then, the demon was just full of parlor tricks. It fascinated him more than scared him. He wanted to solve everything by himself, because he thought he could outsmart it.
 * I actually attributed it to Micah being a skeptic to many things paranormal. This is why a lot of what he does can be argued that he's using the scientific method.
 * Micah being a skeptic using the scientific method kinda stops being a justifiable reaction when this shit is happening right in front of him.
 * Post-sequel, much of this goes out the window. Once we see the demon's motivation, we learn that is the only real way to protect yourself. Ultimately, Micah was going about it the right way by trying to figure out its methods and motivations. Their only real mistakes were listening to the psychic at all, and not calling the demonologist instead. Hardly Wall Banger material.
 * Suspect Zero. While the movie is worth a rental just to see Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley, they expect us to believe that the so-called "Suspect Zero" was able to abduct and kill hundreds of children, dumping them thousands of miles apart, without getting caught because his methods had specific MO. Putting aside the question of why no one ever tracked him down with traditional methods of investigation, this suspect drove the same 18-wheeler the entire time, abducted only children, transported them around in the truck, tortured them all, and apparently had dozens buried under rather obvious mounds of dirt on his private property.
 * The Miracle on 34th Street remake's conclusion. The original made some sense: the post office informally decided to recognize Kris Kringle as Santa Claus, and the court formally decided to agree with the decision. The remake plays hell with the federal legal system. The "logic" is that "'In God We Trust' is on the dollar bill; therefore, the US agrees God exists; therefore this man must be Santa Claus". Not only is it a very long stretch of reasoning, but it tears apart all sorts of things. The court has just officially recognized Christianity as a state-sponsored religion and officially recognized the citizenship of two of its deities (or its main deity and a related demigod). Not only that, but the court's ruling opens the door for everyone claiming to be the Easter Bunny or Vishnu or Xenu to be officially recognized by the state as religious entities - totally breaking apart the separation of church and state and setting an insane precedent where the state recognizes supernaturally religious entities which may or may not exist as possessing a factual existence.
 * The resultant ending, out of context, sounded more like in argument for atheism than anything; a kind of If Jesus then Santa.
 * If you want to get technical, the proof went like this: 1) The U.S. government puts its trust in God based on the faith of its people 2) The people of New York have put their faith in Kris being Santa (as evidenced by that "we believe" Montage) 3) Therefore, the State of New York can recognize Kris as Santa
 * In fairness, the real legal system has produced its own share of such Wall Bangers. There was a 1991 Supreme Court case which basically acknowledged the existence of ghosts.
 * Well, not exactly. What the court said was that since the seller of the house had been publicizing the house as haunted all over the place, and then conveniently forgetting to mention that to prospective buyers, that the people who started to buy the house that did not want it upon learning about said reputation should get their deposit back.
 * The alternative, keeping Kris in care for the mentally insane, would have been even worse for public morale, especially since the U.S court system does allow bending the law for certain cases. The judge jumped on this as a way out of making a call he and everyone else really wanted to avoid, while not leaving an opening for those who did want good ol' Kris put away to object (since they were the minority). Now, how Kris got there in the remake is even more infuriating: he basically turned himself in after clobbering someone, and he deliberately failed a psych test.
 * What do you mean, in the remake? In the original, he clubs someone and then deliberately fails a psych eval as well ("I told them Calvin Coolidge was the first president.") The real Wall Banger in both movies is the entire "Is he or isn't he Santa Claus" is a specious argument, ESPECIALLY if the new version is in fact set in the real now. Instead of arguing whether or not Santa exists (something the prosecutor should have called Kris's lawyer out on) the state had to show he was not only mentally unstable but a real and present danger to others. It should not have, in either movie, taken much testimony to show that both 'victims' were intentionally or unintentionally provoking him, and Kris could easily have passed a genuine evaluation. The judge only had to say the court found he acted under severe emotional distress, was not mentally ill in a way that posed a clear danger to others, and was not a candidate for involuntary committal. At that point, if the prosecution wanted him locked away, they'd have to file criminal charges. There's no granting of dubious legal opinion to the postal service, no practical begging of any random atheist to help file an appeal and turn it into a case about state and church and at the bare minimum waste a lot of a higher court's time having to throw everything out, just a basic "He's unlikely to harm anyone else, request for committal denied, everybody go home."
 * From The Film of the Book The Scarlet Letter starring Demi Moore, Mituba and the Native Americans saving the leads. The film was almost glorifying slavery with the devoted, submissive black woman who literally could not speak. And never mind all the serious crap the Native Americans went through - it seemed their only purpose here was to cause tension and eventually save the three white 'heroes'.
 * And then Hester Prynne walked out onto the scaffold...with a golden letter stitched to her chest.
 * Quoth Demi Moore:

""Three Our Fathers, three Hail Marys, and he's outta there.""
 * She clearly went to a very different High School than the majority of people in her generation...
 * Not to mention that Mituba's name is blatantly Tituba from The Crucible with one letter changed. "Hey, about this lone female slave we've decided to insert into the story about white Puritans in colonial Massachusetts -- what kind of name would a character like that have?" "I don't know, but whatever you settle on, make sure not to put any thought into it. We want to be crystal clear about her status as a completely dehumanized stock character."
 * In Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) is searching for the second of two halves that make up The Eye of The Illuminati. She has already found one half in a secret storage room in her house, left by her father. Soon after, she is forced to chase members of the Illuminati across the globe for the better part of the film and stop them from using the talisman to find a time-altering device. Lara could have saved a lot of time had she destroyed her half of the key in the first place. That way, the Illuminati would have been denied the device forever. Or, better yet, if her father had destroyed that half when he realized what it was capable of uncovering. Like father, like daughter.
 * She wanted the device for herself. Not much less of a Wall Banger, but at least it's in character.
 * In Silent Hill, they genderbend Harry and then needlessly insert another male character because there were now too many chicks. Are men somehow not capable of being nurturing, loving Action Dads who would go to hell and back for their daughters? Did they think that Harry, a complete stranger, proving a better parent than Cheryl's biological mother would raise too many Unfortunate Implications? ARGH!
 * An interview with the director about this only adds to the wall banging. He explained that he reworked Harry as Rose because, in his view, Harry was acting like a mother and a woman (he was clearly afraid of the situation but overcoming it to rescue Cheryl); he thinks that the audience would never accept a male lead who's not an action hero. That the original game, with its non-stereotypical treatment of Harry as an ordinary father, was a big enough hit that it led to an ongoing series and to the movie he's directing apparently never crossed his mind.
 * Back to Cheryl's biological mother: her Character Derailment in the film was, for lack of a more sensitive term, completely fucking retarded. One of the nastiest characters from the game series got turned into a saintly old woman just so the filmmakers could take yet another tired, overwrought cheap shot at organized religion. You know, the sort that stopped being daring or edgy years ago.
 * Besides the idiocy of character changes, why would Rose ever bring Cheryl to Silent Hill? Two things are made very clear very early on in the movie. The first is that Cheryl is in no condition to be going on long trips anywhere without easy access to expert medical care, and the second is that everyone knows how dangerous Silent Hill is. They don't know about the who hell dimension thing but they do clearly know that the town had to be evacuated because of dangerous coal fires that are still burning years later. What sane parent would ever bring their child to the town?
 * The drastic change in Dahlia was made to hammer in the A mother is God in the eyes of her child..
 * While all of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is somewhat off, the inclusion of Tom Sawyer as a young man stands out. The movie is set in 1899. The original Tom Sawyer was a young teen in pre-Civil War Missouri; the latest that "Huck Finn" could have been set was early 1861. Assuming Tom was 14 in '61, he would have been 52 years old at the time of the LXG movie.
 * Maybe it was Tom Sawyer Jr. in the film?
 * They only really added Tom to the movie to appeal to American audiences. Of course, that's why films with no Americans do so badly!
 * Dorian Gray being an immortal who can only die if he sees his own picture. No. No. No.
 * The fact that it, until recently, seems to have been hanging on his wall, only adds more questions.
 * And also the fact that if he hadn't ever seen it for himself, how would he know for sure that it was aging for him? It seems like the scriptwriters just skimmed the original novel but missed the point; it makes a lot more sense as Wilde wrote it, that Dorian could look at the picture but simply found it unpleasant to do so.
 * The fact that it would have been just as effective, fit with the original story, AND MAKE SENSE if they changed it so that he died if the picture was destroyed. (A kick through the canvas would do it quite nicely.
 * In the David Mamet film Redbelt, the ersatz UFC portrayed in the film decides to use a marketing gimmick in which, before every bout, each fighter picks a colored marble from a bowl to determine who will fight with one arm tied behind his back, which basically ensures that he will lose. Ignoring that MMA seems to have no safety regulations in the film's world - this gimmick would defeat the whole point of the competition, reducing it to luck. Imagine if the Superbowl coin toss determined which team could only field five players to the other team's eleven. No one would bother watching. On top of that, it turns out that
 * Constantine, the less than loyal adaptation of Hellblazer, makes a big deal about following Catholic dogma. In particular, it's about the title character's inability to go to heaven because of his suicide attempt and his attempts to redeem himself by battling the minions of Hell. Constantine knows Catholic dogma is true but does not believe all of it, and that makes him a bit of an Idiot Hero. Did it never occur to him to go to confession, or was he just unwilling to admit he was wrong? This one was so obvious that Roger Ebert pointed it out in his review:


 * The film does have a fundamental misunderstanding about Roman Catholic Dogma as regards suicide. A successful suicide is considered an unforgivable sin because, by definition, if it's successful, you can't confess it. But Constantine's suicide wasn't successful; he was revived, therefore penance and forgiveness is possible. Out of character, given the large chip on his shoulder re: the Church, but possible.
 * Alternately, the error is deliberate. After all, Constantine deliberately went to the length of directly asking the archangel Gabriel what the theological implications of his attempted suicide were, presumably because he wanted to be absolutely sure about the question rather than rely upon possibly-fallible human opinions of theology. Unfortunately for Constantine Gabriel is actually the villain, and is entirely capable of lying to him in order to try and get him to quit fighting.

Other Films, Part 2

 * High Tension/Haute Tension is an enjoyable thriller about a college student named Marie trying to rescue her best friend Alexia, whom she's in love with, from a deranged killer. She was highly sympathetic, she kicks the killer's arse, and - Oh, wait a minute!  leaves about 40 different plot holes and invalidates most of the movie. It doesn't even try to explain
 * Then how about this:
 * Even if we accept this, we run into some major problems.
 * 40 Days and 40 Nights is about a guy who gives up sex for Lent. Then he meets a girl he falls in love with. On the last day, he has his roommate chain him to the bed—so he won't masturbate or something—and then leave.
 * How about the premise, that the main character can get sex from hot women anytime he wants and giving it up is a challenge? When women hear about his decision to abstain and want him even more.
 * To make things worse, most churches that observe Lent teach that Sundays are exempt, and people who gave up things are allowed to partake in those things on Sundays.
 * This review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a literal wallbanger.
 * This F.A.Q. does a great job of explaining it as well.
 * Equilibrium. Gun Kata. The concept of how it operates is unrealistic, stupid, and just plain wrong. Being able to statistically predict your opponents' positions in a gunfight and then also statistically predict where they will shoot to allow you to dodge their bullets (because, you know, there's no such thing as adjusting one's aim) is retarded; how did this make the film? It would have been better if they hadn't bothered coming up with it and said the Clerics can dodge bullets because they're just that Badass. Instead Kurt Wimmer tried to bypass Willing Suspension of Disbelief and Rule of Cool by providing an explanation, when those two things are all that keep physics-defying stunts from looking stupid rather than awesome.
 * At the beginning of the film, they show the Mona Lisa being burned so that even the Lowest Common Denominator knows the government is against all art. The Mona Lisa is about a tenth of the size of the painting in the film and is painted on wood, not canvas—and yet, when they take out the Instant-Art-Verifier, it confirms that it's real. Fridge Logic bonus: Why does it matter? Wasn't the point to destroy anything that could evoke emotions?
 * Which evokes more emotion—the real Mona Lisa, or a replica? They'd have burned a replica too, but verifying that its the real one means they can rest assured that a major emotional source is now removed. As for the part where its painted on wood and not canvas, yes, that's just them getting it wrong.
 * Jaws the Revenge is the trope namer for Voodoo Shark, but that's not where the wall-banging ends by a long shot. To try to escape from a shark, the protagonist takes a flight to the Bahamas. Granted, it's a distance from her original home (Massachusetts), but so is Utah. Richard Jeni filled an entire bit at Just For Laughs with wall bangers from this movie.
 * Let's not forget that the shark follows her there, as if it knows exactly where she's going. Somehow, it's able to get there in a matter of days. What? Did Bruce discover warp drive?
 * In fact, the shark is implied to be smart - so smart that it knows and accounts for things it should have no way of knowing. For example, it is pretty evident that the shark not only killed Sean, but ambushed him. Ken Begg's review had a particular bone to pick with this very frank example of Gambit Roulette.
 * Knowing. The ending:
 * You could've just put the whole movie in. Highlights include running directly into the flaming wreckage of a recently-crashed plane.
 * On the point of them knowing so far in advance they obviously had the time to help move people away if space on the ship was the issue.
 * Speaking of knowing in advance, why did they ?
 * Also, the idea that.
 * We've also got the aliens.
 * This film is only kind of worth mentioning because it watched as one big scientology metaphor.
 * Not even remotely scientology, though, pretty much standard Christian, complete with Professor Doctor Nick Cage espousing Intelligent Design and a child-only Rapture at the very end. Also, solar flares don't fucking work that way.
 * The two main characters constantly leaving their children alone in the car despite the fact that the aliens are always close by.
 * The Well-Intentioned Extremist in The Lost World: Jurassic Park is an eco-activist who's so much against the exploitation of the free-range dinosaurs that he sabotages the capture-team's equipment and gets a lot of people killed. Somehow, the fact that these dinosaurs are introduced species, and are no doubt wreaking havoc with the island's own indigenous ecosystem, never crosses his mind (or anyone else's). And it's doubtful that there's any place on Earth that they could be introduced to, since all these dinosaurs have been dead for tens (if not hundreds) of millions of years. But what the heck, who's going to miss another pristine neotropical rainforest?
 * Well A) the island's ecosystem is likely beyond repair, and B) the other guys were talking about taking them to the mainland, so maybe he guesses that someone would stuff up eventually, and releasing a bunch of big dinos 'in the middle of a city' is going to generate a lot more casualties than happened on the island.
 * The island had been specifically designed to be a home for the dinosaurs, which would face major dietary problems anywhere else on the planet, which the company knew about because they had designed it. As for releasing a bunch of big dinos in the city, the original plan had them sticking entirely to small and medium sized herbivores. The only guys chasing a predator was the hunter who wanted to bring a Rex skull home as a trophy. The only reason they took the T-rexes home instead was because the nature lover let all the other dinos go, and they needed something to recoup the losses they were looking at after the stampede and carnivore attacks. Otherwise, bringing the dinos back to the mainland would have been no more dangerous than bringing elephants, cape buffalo, rhinos, and hippos over from Africa.
 * In the process of streamlining the plot of the original book for the movie, they removed all references to Malcolm's logic justifying why he knew the animals had to be breeding, which made sense for a mathematician to be able to figure out. Instead they simply made Malcolm into an insufferable wiseass who's only justification for why an entirely female population of animals would breed was "life will find a way." You Fail Biology Forever. In the book, they had the very important detail that dinosaurs had already escaped to the mainland, yet the island was still showing the correct number of animals there. This makes the deduction that they are breeding somehow quite plausible. In the movie, it just happened so Malcolm could prove Hammond wrong.
 * Uh, that's missing the whole point. The whole "Life finds a way" quote is not about the dinosaurs breeding, but rather in general that In-Gen cannot control everything that happens on the island. That by trying to recreate a prehistoric environment without knowing much about it, something in inevitably going to go wrong. It's like telling someone they're playing with a ticking time bomb. The real Wall Banger regarding the dinosaurs breeding is the fact that Hammond and the scientists never once considered simply making the dinosaurs infertile. That way, male or female, they wouldn't be able to breed, even if they could change sex. Plus, apparently no one at Jurassic Park ever heard of Parthenogenesis (IE: A female organism being able to breed without the need of a male to fertilize the eggs).
 * The trailer for 2012 begins by proclaiming the Mayas to be "the world's oldest civilization." So, it's not even out, and we already know that they Did Not Do the Research.
 * Of course, this whole film is based on one huge honking Critical Research Failure. For those not yet aware: THE MAYANS NEVER EQUATED THE END OF THEIR CALENDAR WITH THE END OF THE WORLD.
 * Though the trailer plays up the Mayan angle a fair bit, the film itself forgets about it fairly quickly (I think there are two throwaway lines along the lines of, "And the Mayans knew all along. Bastards!"). The utter fail here is that the world is ending because of neutrino interactions. However, once they show the neutrino detector boiling, it becomes So Bad It's Good.
 * Frankly the biggest Wall Banger moment in the film is the proposition that the G8 can ever agree on anything long enough to do something useful on a world scale.
 * Making sense is not The Mummy Trilogy's strong point. But a real wall banger came in The Mummy Returns. So there are these guys who want to dig up Imhotep, right? And it's very explicitly Ardeth Bey's job to stop people from raising Imhotep. He says in the first movie that it even justifies killing innocent people, let alone people who are deliberately trying to raise Imhotep. So maybe he wasn't able to stop them from digging him up because oh noes, reincarnated Anck-Su-Namun is with them and she's a royal bitch who throws snakes at people. But he goes all the way to England, to the British Museum, comes in when the ritual is not actually over, has a line of sight to the person performing the ritual and doesn't even try to shoot him. He just stands there with Rick until Imhotep is brought back to life. Of course, someone else would had to have taken over or there'd be no movie, but how is it in character for him to not do everything in his power—especially a very obvious thing—to keep Imhotep dead?
 * Evie was being held prisoner during the ritual to bring back Imhotep. While Ardeth might not have cared about killing her to stop Imhotep in the first movie, now they were friends and he didn't want her dead. Having her armed husband standing right next to him probably helped convince him that doing something to endanger Evie was pretty stupid.
 * Another one that questions the competence and capability of Ardeth Bey AKA the Guardian of the Lost City. Right at the start of the first film he avoids gunning down a helpless retreating Rick because, and I quote, The desert will get him. YOUR JOB and sole purpose in life is to stop the planet destroying monster from escaping this secret magical city. Just because it was unlikely Rick would have survived the trek across the desert to the nearest city without supplies doesn't mean he couldn't. As a direct result of this decision Rick escapes and leads one half of an expedition that frees the monster under his care. Speaking of which; why didn't he kill Benny? surely he must have left his hiding place and returned to civilization on foot at some point? did Ardeth just decide the desert would get him too?
 * 9 was a good movie; however, some major plot points were contrived as hell to justify having a story. Namely,  Everyone proceeds to rock out to Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
 * Could be partly justified as the Scientist
 * Why does the original robot need
 * When the Machine was first built, it was clear that it had no slot. However, in Maybe the Scientist realized his mistake and built a slot for it in its body, not knowing that it was too late and that the
 * As we see at the ending,
 * Disney's Chicken Little (as opposed to the original aesop) ran about 30 minutes too long due to a Wall Banger halfway through the movie: originally CL is ostracized by the entire town after alarming it to a threat that sounds incredulous, that of a piece of the sky literally falling on his head, which isn't helped when he cannot find the evidence to present to the angry townspeople. A year later, CL is finally starting to live this down, when said "piece of the sky" hits him in the head again. He calls up his friends, but doesn't tell his father, because he doesn't want his father to be disappointed in him again, even going out of the way to hide the evidence from his father to avoid looking crazy. HELLO! Can you say "vindication?" The entire plot of the movie was that nobody believed CL because of the crazy, unsubstantiated things he would say. Now he has _hard evidence_ of his claims in his hand. Wouldn't this be the perfect time for him to say "Look, I'm not crazy, here's the same thing that fell on me a year ago, and this is how it managed to look invisible last time?"
 * Considering that it took a bit of time for his dad to start to accept his advice even after aliens were invading and he had an alien baby with him, one has to wonder if showing the evidence would have helped all that much anyway...
 * At one point in the film, Foxy Loxy is abducted and emerges from a machine that changes her from her rowdy tomboyish nature into a more "girly" personality. The Wall Banger? The other characters actually like her better this way and decide to keep her like that. So, it's ok to let someone change a person's personality against their will and do nothing to change them back if they like you like them better that way? Ok, yes, Foxy Loxy was a Jerkass, but doing that to her is essentially brainwashing.
 * In Battle for Terra, we are introduced to a species of alien that can fly... or is that hover? The film never really can decide which. The whole race has multiple flying craft that would seem to suggest they just hover, yet in one scene, an alien saved a human being by flying hundreds of feet down to catch him, and then hundreds of feet back. Then why, when she fell out of a spacecraft while returning to her planet in a later scene, did she plummet all those feet to the ground?
 * The curse for The Princess and the Frog. Prince gets turned into frog, and requires a kiss from a princess to undo the spell. Okay, classic curse conditions and consistent with original story, thus far. Prince kisses lead female, thinking she's a princess...and she gets turned into a frog, as a result. Um...what? Where in the hell did they say that the spell was designed to turn the kisser into a frog, if she wasn't a princess? Interesting twist, but why the funky conditions for a botched spell breaking? There's no explanation to why this happens, and it doesn't seem like Dr. Facillier intended this to happen, so why did it? To further compound things, after Dr. Facillier is defeated, our heroes are stuck as frogs until the prince kisses a princess, but somehow the "non-princess turns into frog" clause gets nullified, since him kissing  didn't turn her into a frog. The hell? Why would there be No Ontological Inertia with only part of the spell, but not the entire thing? It can't be because the spell is broken; it wasn't, at least not from Facillier's reaction to it (and, considering the bargain he's making with it, he should know for damn sure if it was broken), so in classic fairy tale cliche, his defeat should nullify the spell in its entirety, right? Even if we can forgive the ridiculousness of the fact that breaking the spell normally requires an insulting amount of technicalities (ie. , that "non-princess turns into frog" clause is just stupid and handled poorly.
 * Honestly, I don't really understand what your problem is in your first argument (about the lead female being turned into frog from the curse). The original story didn't mention any stipulations for that condition, so the author is free to make up whatever result they want. Besides, this is not the original story, so really, the writer could claim that it's a similiar-but-ultimately-different curse, meaning they can make up whatever rules they want. The lead female could turn into a bazooka-weilding gorilla fairy if the author wants her to.
 * That's fine, except the author didn't ever explain this addition to the curse or even bother to use it consistently in the story. That's the problem.
 * Who ever said Dr. Facilier knew about this clause? Remember, he has voodoo, he has hoodoo, he has things he hasn't even tried. It's obvious all his powers are on loan from his Friends on the Other Side, often with odd and mysterious consequences and rules. That's sorta the point of Disney Magic. There might be an explanation for this that only his Friends know.
 * Why should the story be obligated to reveal the twist before it happens? Neither Naveen nor the audience knew any parameters of the spell whatsoever until Mama Odie confirmed it, anyway. Facilier could have just turned Naveen into a frog without any kind of exit clause - for all we know he did, and she had to do some Sleeping Beauty-type meddling, which would provide one way out of the bit about Charlotte. It's also possible there was some unstated deadline, since nobody seems to raise the possibility that if all else fails, they could wait for next year's Mardi Gras Princess. Even if it turned out not to be Charlotte, they could probably pay her off somehow.
 * Tiana kissed Naveen for selfish reasons. She just wanted her restaurant. So she had to share his curse.
 * I always thought that the reason the spell didn't work was because Tiana wasn't a real princess. If a real princess is needed to break the curse, it makes sense that someone who tries to pass for a princess is somehow punished.
 * Or maybe the curse was because of profit. Tiana kissed Naveen because he offered to buy her the restaurant, not because she genuinely wanted to help him. There was a lot of extenuating circumstances, but Tiana still kissed Naveen for a somewhat selfish reason. So, then, POOF, she's a frog. When Charlotte kissed Naveen, it was because she genuinely wanted to help her friend and her future husband. Since it was genuine, no curse was transmitted. This is just Wild Mass Guessing, but it would kinda fit in Facilier's M.O. (selfishness & magic never leads to anywhere good).
 * Under Fire: How do you join a Maoist terrorist organisation without knowing it?
 * Disney's Blank Check. The main character's whole family is pretty much always on his back, scolding him for being lazy because he isn't trying to get a job or make money in any way. The kid is about seven years old. These people expect a seven-year-old to become an entrepreneur?!
 * That's assuming people didn't already find fault with the plot for its piling of ridiculous circumstance after circumstance onto the main character (his brothers bully him, his first check gets stolen, his birthday is a washout, and he has his bike run over by the film's villain) or the notion that anyone in their right mind would clear a $1,000,000 check deposited by a kid who says he's an assistant to a big computer tycoon. Plus, an undercover FBI agent takes him at his word that his boss is a legitimate person, and willingly goes on a date with him. Then she kisses him at the end, before promising that she'll go on a date with him when he turns 17. NOOOOOO!!!
 * Let's not forget the scene where the parents ground the main character for wrecking his bike (a car ran over it) rather than praising God that it was not their son that got wrecked.
 * Keep in mind the obvious... the main character gets a million dollars. Now, no one is saying that's not a lot of money, but it's nowhere near enough for all the cool looking stuff he gets in the movie, including a freaking CASTLE with built in water slide, virtual reality like video games, gokarts, a limo with driver and well, enough stuff to make many real life billionaires look modest.
 * To be (somewhat) fair, he is more likely ten or eleven rather than seven. Despite this, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that he is too young to legally work in 'any' job, or at least any job that would appease his father.
 * When one of the characters asks the kid why the person he's working for is sending a kid to buy all this stuff for him he answered by telling him how his "boss" never had a childhood and is doing all this stuff now because he's rich. How exactly does this answer the question?
 * Tell any real adult that an eccentric millionaire who refuses to show himself is palling around with a ten year old boy, buying him expensive toys, and employing him under mysterious circumstances that the boy seems hesitant to clarify, and they will freak out. It's a wonder the cops weren't called as soon as he explained the arrangement.
 * Cloverfield: When the dudes are finally picked up by helicopters near the end of the movie, which direction do you think the rescue choppers would take? The most logical direction would be to simply fly in a straight line AWAY from the 'creature' (as it seems the other chopper does). Is this what they do? No, of course they take a flight path that almost CIRCLES the monster (so much so that Hud can just lean over and film it!), so that when the monster is hit by missiles from the Stealth Bombers flying overhead (causing a premature celebration of the monsters death), all it has to do is REACH UP and knock the helicopter out of the sky, dooming everyone in the chopper and wasting an entire movie of emotional investment devoted to the rescue of these dumbasses.
 * Daredevil... oh my.
 * Matt Murdock fights Elektra for absolutely no reason at all despite having just met her, having no idea that she has any martial arts ability, in a playground just off a main street, in broad daylight, sans costumes, in front of 50+ kids, and they are both supposed to have secret identities!
 * And she also attacks him without knowing of his martial arts ability, but she does already know he's blind. What a bitch!
 * Well, actually, there can be some justification there. Matt goes after her to try and learn her name, and likely picked up from the way she moved and reacted, that she knew how to handle herself in a fight. She on the other hand, has just had an apparently blind guy follow her, watch her movements as though he could see, and react like a martial artist when she attempts to handlock him. By this time each has ascertained that the other can fight, and isn't afraid to do so, so they were probably very interested to see just what the other can do. Matt was sure he'd be fine, and Electra was sure that she'd be able to pull her punches to prevent the 'blind' guy (who from her point of view may have been faking it) from getting hurt.
 * Plus, blind or not, Matt was acting like a creep. She was just trying to show him (in the least harmful way possible) that he needs to leave her the fuck alone.
 * Elektra's dad is killed because even though he KNOWS he's a target (having been reliably informed just ten minutes before by the Kingpin), when his limo plows into a roadblock, he does precisely what a target shouldn't do and gets out of the bulletproof car, turns around to face the direction his assassin is approaching from, and stands upright, right next to the car for the next five minutes to see if Bullseye really can hit him while fighting Daredevil (which of course he does, with DD's billy club, right in the heart), when any sane target would stay low and get behind some cover (or maybe hightail it while one's nominated assassin is otherwise occupied). May be also an example of an Idiot Ball.
 * Might be justified by the fact that he's just been in a car crash, and understandably disoriented.
 * The fact that in the movie, apparently when Daredevil went blind and gained his extrasensory powers, the moviemakers also decided that it gave him superhuman jumping powers as well.
 * Actually that goes back to the comics: the fact that he's an excellent gymnast is due to the bones in his ears related to maintaining balance. Still questionable, but you can blame Stan Lee for that one.
 * Actually valid sense—Daredevil's superpower is that his nervous system is superhumanly efficient at both perceiving sensory impressions too faint for normal people and at rapidly processing those sense impressions to derive a complete picture of his environment. This would presumably include the sense of proprioception, or our body's awareness of exactly where all of our limbs are positioned and how they are moving in relation to what's around us. So he would have a superhuman sense of balance and agility, and also enhanced muscle memory (as the more aware you are of exactly how your body is moving, the more easily you learn physical skills).
 * In The Vampire's Assistant, Crepsley arranges for Darren's apparent death by breaking the kid's neck and tossing him off the roof. He promises to "fix" the broken neck later. But in most states, an autopsy is legally mandated if a healthy person dies unexpectedly. Even if it's apparent that the kid died in an accidental fall, the M.E. has to check the body for possible contributing factors, such as alcohol or drug use. Darren should've had his guts on a scale and his brain in a bowl, which is more than the film's vampires can recover from.
 * You just said it yourself. In most states. Did that happen in one of those states?
 * Even the states that do not absolutely require autopsies, such as Texas, still allow for the option of autopsies if the local police or judicial system have any reason to suspect foul play. Which brings us to a related problem with this scenario; the wrongful death of an adolescent would require some kind of police inquest to close out the scene and certify it as accident rather than homicide, and since Darren was thrown off of the roof any homicide detective who wasn't blind should have been able to tell from the position of the body that he didn't fall, he was launched, as that's basic forensics 101. At which point not only should there be an autopsy, but also a murder investigation.
 * In Repo Men, there are repeated references to people who have multiple artiforg kidneys, or one artificial kidney and one natural. But thousands of real-life organ donors and recipients are thriving with a single kidney, so why would anyone shell out a fortune for a second artiforg kidney—or risk winding up on Remy's collection list—if they already have one (real or otherwise) that works?
 * Single kidneys resort to hyperfiltration to compensate the missing one. This stress is not healthy for the organ, and in the long term can mean renal failure, (particularly if it's not in a prime state to begin with). Thus, in a way, buying a second kidney might be money saving in the long run. It's not unseen to have people with more than one kidney graft.
 * Repo Men is a diverse and impressive collection of Wall Bangers that at times seems almost intentional. First of all, where is this taking place? And why can people only hide in a city filled with Repo Men, as opposed to somewhere far off in the country. Why doesn't anyone own a gun? Even if they are illegal to own in the future, a lot of these people are living on the fringes of society anyway. If I work for someone and their broken defibrillator destroys my heart (why did it destroy his heart?) I'd expect my medical bills to be paid, as well as a generous settlement for my pain and emotional distress, or at least for them to not perform the organ replacement without my approval. But worst of all was that despite all of this the film still has entertaining sequences where Jude Law beats people with hammers, Forrest Whitaker finds redemption, and the bitch ex-wife gets knocked unconscious by Jude Law's son. They have a satisfying if somewhat sappy ending where the evil corporation is taken down and everyone's happy on the beach and then Why? Did someone think anyone would leave this film happy with such a ridiculously ludicrous plot twist?
 * Normally, Remember Me would have been quickly forgotten after its release; the only real hook that it had was that it was a romance movie starring Robert "Edward Cullen" Pattinson. The ending, however, made it truly a moment of complete stupidity. The ending features . Audiences were mostly angry at this ending because it not only came out of nowhere just to have a surprising ending, but because it was fricking offensive.
 * I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations for Too Soon runs out after nearly nine years.
 * Even if you grant it that, it's still the mother and father of all modern-day emotional cheap shots. It was a fanfic cliche for years before they filmed it.
 * It's not even so much that it's too soon, but that literally nothing about the movie hinted at this fact at all. It just came right out of nowhere and is just a very stupid ending. And to be blunt, arguing that ten years after 9/11 is no longer too soon is a little stupid. It's that kind of thing where, at least in the country where it happened, will probably always be something of a sore spot, even if it isn't completely Too Soon.
 * Even if you were to grant it as no longer being Too Soon, trying to sucker punch the audience like would still be a stupid ending no matter how far into the future this movie could have been filmed and released.
 * The scene in The Two Towers when the elves come to Helm's Deep. First, Lothlorien is at war; they wouldn't be able to spare the troops. Second, given that the founding of Rohan is the stuff of legend, what are the chances that the Rohirrim would know about the Last Alliance? Third, how on (Middle-)earth did they get there so fast? Fourth, doesn't this kind of go against the whole "elves are passing the torch to humans" theme?
 * First, while Lothlorien were at war in the book, there isn't any sign of it in the movie, and at least some of the troops were from Rivendell, not Lothlorien (Haldir says he came on behalf of both Galadriel and Elrond).
 * Second, the elves speaking of the Last Alliance are speaking to Aragorn as well as the Rohan, and Aragorn certainly knew about the Last Alliance.
 * Third, Elrond and Galadriel are pretty good at predicting the future. They likely sent their troops long before Saruman had sent the orcs. In fact there is a sequence earlier in the movie where they are presumably planning to do just that.
 * Fourth, it goes just fine, since the Elves only play a relatively minor role in the battle - primarily giving Theoden some measure of hope.
 * Five, we needed a pointless dramatic exit for one of the most beloved characters of the trilogy, Haldir, a.k.a. effeminate elf guy that uses too much make up, who probably is cronies with someone high up in the production team.
 * In the Jet Li movie Fearless, set in the early 20th century, he fights the representatives of four nations. An English boxer, a Spanish swordmaster, a Japanese judoka, and a German... spear fighter? This is the 20th century. When Germany modernised its military, it modernised. Besides which, there is no art of one-on-one spear-fighting; the pike was always a formation weapon.
 * Except that there is, and all the "research" you have to do is watch the special feature on the dvd. The actor playing the role of the spear-wielding man is himself a champion and student of the regional art. Not invented, student of. Therefore, the art exists, because otherwise he would have nothing to study. QED. Also, the Japanese fighter is not a judoka. Judo has no striking or weapon techniques. What he studied was (at least) karate, and the correct term for a practitioner is a "karateka".
 * The Spear Fighter claims proudly that the Germans were some of the first to invent a Spear Kata. There were martial techniques in Europe just as there were in the Orient, though many were left abandoned as guns came into play. Because explosions are cool. Lately, there's been something of a resurgence in these arts from old manuals.
 * There's also oriental individual spear-fighting styles as well. It's arguable whether they're an outgrowth of staff styles or the reverse.
 * Elizabeth is bursting with Did Not Do the Research. First the Duke of Norfolk called her "Princess Elizabeth." Sure, she's the Queen's sister, it makes sense...except when you remember that Elizabeth was stripped of her legitimacy years earlier and was never called anything but the Lady Elizabeth until she herself became Queen. Then after she became Queen came scenes of her having sex with her childhood best friend, Robert Dudley. The sex itself gets a pass because historians to this day can't agree on whether they did or not, but if they did, the affair was extremely discreet—not carried on in a room with an audience chamber for her ladies to watch them. Finally, her secretary William Cecil calls her out on the affair and drops the bombshell that Dudley is in fact married, which the film's Elizabeth heard with shock and horror. The real Elizabeth? She was a guest at the wedding.
 * As far as William Cecil, he remained one of Elizabeth's closest advisors until his death twenty years later. Making him "Lord Burghley" was not a retirement gift, it was a title to match his office.
 * Dragon Ball Evolution. For example, calling energy attacks Airbending, how pathetic the final fight was, Roshi's decision to wait until dark to get out of Yamcha's hole, despite the fact that they were on a tight timeframe...It just goes on and on.
 * And the writers picked the worst possible time to stay true to the source material:
 * To say nothing of any other people Piccolo killed to get the Dragon Balls he had. They were people who most likely didn't know WHY they were killed, as it's implied people don't know the purpose of the Dragon Balls.
 * During their fight Goku tries to tell Roshi that he isn't a thief (despite sneaking into the house in search of a Dragon ball). Then at the moment when Roshi stops fighting and stands and looks at him Goku promptly launches his own attack. Way to peacefully end the fight kid.
 * Why exactly didn't Piccolo  or at least make sure  ? Instead of torturing the information about where the Dragon ball was or snapping   neck he simply crushes the building, leaving
 * So after  died Goku just buried him and left? In the movie he's supposedly a modern teenager brought up in a lawful society. Shouldn't Goku's first action be to call the police? The police could be easily forgiven if they had come to the conclusion that Goku was responsible.
 * Battlefield Earth is full of Wall Bangers. One that stands out is how the Psychlos have had 1000 years to strip mine Earth for gold, and didn't notice Fort Knox.
 * Additionally the 'science' is just plain awful. How exactly they managed to avoid nuking themselves before they knew what it would do is a mystery.
 * The biggest wallbanger in the movie is the fact that the Psychlos are called what they are have somehow, in over a thousand years, never decided to try to use the "man animals" as slave labor. Travolta's character brags that the Psychlo military defeated the combined militaries of Earth in a day. This means they were aware that the "man animals" had a military, meaning they are intelligent. Furthermore, who the fuck do they think built all those ruins all over the place? The "man animals" obviously are intelligent, even if you can't understand them (because you never used the machine that instantly makes them understand you), so NO, the idea that the "man animals" could never be trained to mine your gold for you is not a valid one.
 * It isn't even made clear in the movie exactly why they've kept humans around for over the past thousand years. They just seem to keep a few dozen of them in pens for no apparent reason.
 * There's also the problem of how the man animals discover jet aircraft that have been sitting around for a few hundred years, but are still somehow fully functional and the man animals learn to fly them in just a few days.
 * In the 2005 version of The War of the Worlds, the alien tripods emerge from underground rather than arriving from space. The assumption is that the invaders had hidden their vehicles in various locations on Earth, long before anyone was living there. But if these same aliens visited Earth in prehistoric times, why didn't they subjugate humanity's ancestors way back when, instead of waiting until we became advanced enough to actually put up a fight? How did thousands of buried tripods go unnoticed by miners, seismologists, and spelunkers, and undisturbed by earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and landslides, for all of human history? And most of all, why didn't the aliens know that Earth's native microbes were lethal, if they'd been here already?
 * The infamous Johnny Mnemonic, starring Keanu Reeves in an adaptation of a William Gibson Gibson story is one Wall Banger after another.
 * The Opening Scroll explains how in the year 2021, corporations "rule," and a resistance movement emerged to take down the corporations. The corporations' response to the growing resistance? Use their immense power and influence to bribe and win over government and law enforcement to work for the corporate interest hire the yakuza.
 * The Lo-Teks fight their enemies with crossbows and falling cars, in accordance with their low technology values. They also hijack satellite television signals to broadcast their own messages globally and use a cyborg dolphin to hack into human brains.
 * To be fair, the same contradiction occurs in the short story ("barbaric" tooth implants from dobermans?), where it's Lampshaded by Johnny.
 * Johnny points a gun at J-Bone and demands J-Bone tells him who he is. J-Bone immediately tells Johnny (a total stranger to the character at this time...who could be anybody...and who is pointing a gun at him) that he is the leader of the underground resistance that fights the corporations, and then J-Bone points to where his base of operations is. In a bit of Fridge Brilliance, however, this particular act of stupidity eventually does lead to all of the resistance movement's enemies finding out the location of their headquarters from Johnny.
 * Shinji's molecuwire whip can cut through anything you can think of...except for a chain-link gate for some reason.
 * One of Ralfi's bodyguards helps Shinji chase down Johnny and Jane . Why would she want to help the person who  ? Your guess is as good as mine.
 * In the film version of Lost in Space, the mutated spider version of Dr. Smith at one point says, "Within these eggsacks lives a monster race of SPIIIDERS!" So...the venom from space spiders not only causes humans to transform into mutant spider creatures, they also change the victim's gender?
 * They're nonhumanoid aliens, there's no reason to assume they even have a gender. Even if they do, a female spider-alien isn't that much further from a male human than a male spider-alien is.
 * How's about "Joey"'s decision to blow up the enemy ship. Yes, it was a good idea. When you're right next to it? Not so much. He's the moron responsible for their predicament in the fourth act.
 * In the movie, how exactly did they manage to end up in the exact same location as ? They could have been sent literally anywhere in the universe and as we find out   and they just happen to go there? For that matter why was  ?
 * Superman Returns has several wallbanger-iffic moments. Of note:
 * Lex Luthor is released at the beginning of the film (offscreen) because Superman failed to show up to Lex's appeal hearing. The only problem is that Superman had (by the time the movie begins) already been gone for close to 5 years. What kind of court relies on the testimony of a superhero who hasn't been seen by anyone in years? And when did an appeals court suddenly require witnesses to come forward?
 * For those who don't know civil procedure, just about all the evidence seen by an appeals court was already introduced at the trial level, and new evidence is actually inadmissible except under extraordinary circumstances after the initial trial.
 * After deciding to sneak aboard Lex Luthor's boat to find out what caused the blackout in Metropolis, Lois Lane not only takes her child along with her, but doesn't bother to take her cell phone in case she's in danger. What an Idiot!.
 * Tommy Wisseau's The Room. Lisa is cheating on Johnny with his friend, Mark. When she throws Johnny a birthday party, everyone goes up to the roof at some point, and Lisa gets the brilliant idea to make out with Mark right there on the cough. With dozens of people just outside, including the guy she's cheating on, who could walk in at any second.
 * WHAT FUCKING BREAST CANCER!?
 * This is The Room we are talking about—it's "Wallbanger: The Movie".
 * The Last Airbender had a lot, but everyone knows this one: The Earthbenders. On the show they were being held captive on a metal oil rig, far from any earth they could control. In the film, they were held captive in a hole in the ground. There was nothing whatsoever to stop them fighting back (Aang even points this out). What, were they on the honor system?
 * You could say that they just needed Aang to give them a speech. Of course that raises other disturbing implications of the Caucasian Avatar being needed to encourage the Asian Earthbenders.
 * An even bigger Wallbanger is that the Fire Benders needed FIRE to use their ability. The only source of fire is an iddy biddy torch in the center of the camp. A torch sitting on a very flimsy stand. To top it off, apparently the Earth benders also had a weapons cache nearby.
 * This is even worse when you consider that at a few points, Zuko firebends without a source of fire anyway. At one point he does this underwater.
 * When the Firebenders show up at the north pole, they're told to put out all the torches in town so they can't weaponize them. When the Firebenders reach land, it doesn't look like they bothered doing this, as pretty much every torch is still lit. Either have the characters be Too Dumb to Live to not do anything about the fire or Genre Savvy enough to come up with the plan and execute it. The middle ground should not be to be smart enough to come up with the plan and then too stupid to actually do it.
 * A rather awful one shows up when they're discussing Aang's reasons for running away. It was changed from not wanting to deal with the responsibilities of being an Avatar to a rule that Avatar's aren't allowed families. Shyamalan, were you aware that  are descendants of the previous Avatar, Roku? For that matter, why would a child raised by monks find that rule to be so horrific?
 * In the movie, there was no Koizilla, which might have been able to save the movie if it had been rendered in otherwise fairly good 3D. Instead, the fire nation's navy is scared off by Aang, or as he's called in this movie, Ong, creating a massive wave, in which no one dies. Also Zhao, instead of being killed in the wave, is drowned by four nameless waterbenders after putting up virtually no offense.
 * The movie tends to treat the female characters pretty badly. Everything a female character does is either completely removed or is done by a male. For instance, in the cartoon, Yue decides all on her own that her Heroic Sacrifice in becoming the Moon Spirit is the only way to fix the damage Zhao did. In the movie, Iroh basically tells her to do it. Considering that the plotline of Yue and Sokka "becoming fast friends" was completely summarized instead of shown, it basically reduced Yue to a Living Prop with funny hair.
 * Predators has Laurence Fishburne in the role of Former U.S. Air Cavalryman Noland. A Crazy Survivalist and Shell Shocked Senior who has survived for years in the titular Predators' hunting grounds. He's got plenty of experience plus some weapons and equipment he got from the Predators so, now that he has teamed up with the other survivors, he's bound to open a big can of kickass for the Predators, right? Well, no. The only three things he does is provide a lot of exposition, try to kill the other characters in a rather lame way and getting unceremoniously blown up. Good job wasting a perfectly good character...
 * Perfectly good actor, you mean. Noland clearly went clownshit-crazy years before, and only survived afterward by looting from other humans dropped onto the planet - humans that he likely murdered himself.
 * In the Swedish movie version of the second book from The Millennium Trilogy, a character near the end is incapacitated in the middle of the night, and buried alive. Morning rolls around and you assume this character to be dead, until the shot pans to around where they were buried, and you see them digging their way out despite having been buried alive for hours without oxygen. What. This isn't counting the multiple gunshots said character sustained just shortly before being buried either...
 * To be fair, the book says that the position the character fell into the grave allowed free space, thus providing enough air. Not bleeding to death from gunshot wounds is another matter entirely.
 * In Con Air, Nicolas Cage's character, an Army Ranger kills a drunk who attacked him and his wife while he is in full uniform. Not only does his idiot attorney counsel him to plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter despite it being an open and shut case of self-defense, the judge decides to ignore the plea-bargain and give the maximum sentence because Army training made him a lethal weapon.
 * The second part is illegal. A judge cannot disregard the terms of a plea bargain while keeping the guilty plea or any statements made as part of that plea in the record.
 * This was a glorified barfight, how does Cage end up in a federal prison? The Feds would have no jurisdiction in this situation, it's strictly a local case and it should have been handled by a state court. Even if he was somehow given a military court-martial it still doesn't work—an Army court-martial would obviously not have used his military training against him, the judge would have been a panel of senior officers and not a civilian judge, and if somehow still found guilty he would have been sent to Leavenworth, not an ordinary federal prison.
 * The Korean movie Singles. One of the main characters has a one night stand with her male friend and ends up pregnant. She decides to keep the baby but for no reason at all, refuses to tell her friend that he will have a son or daughter, going so far as to plead with her female friend not to tell him. This is despite the fact that he is a caring person, is responsible, and is wealthy. Meanwhile, she has a low paying job, is known to be flighty and disorganized, and doesn't seem capable of raising a baby on her own. Obviously, the two characters don't have to get married or even live with each other but if a person is going to raise a child, it's always a good idea to get support from a father who would obviously be willing. That's to say nothing of the fact that the man was her friend and it just comes off as mean spirited not to tell him he has a child. This is all played up as if it's a happy ending somehow.
 * The Butterfly Effect spends much of the film setting up its "time travel" rules, namely that when Evan travels back to his own past and changes something, only he can remember the alternate timelines, and from the perspective of everyone else the events had always taken place that way. This internal consistency is then promptly thrown out of the window in a scene where, finding himself the target of prison rapists, Evan convinces a fellow prisoner to help him by briefly travelling back to his childhood and scarring the palms of his hands so that "stigmata" spontaneously appear before the prisoner's eyes. Not only does this break the established continuity rules, but it also makes a mockery of the film's entire premise, that even minor changes to the past can drastically change the course of one's life; we are now meant to accept that while all the other changes Evan made sent his life down wildly different paths, deliberately driving spikes through both his hands (in the middle of a classroom, no less) didn't change anything beyond giving him scars.
 * This is less of a wallbanger than it appears on its face. In an earlier scene, Evan discovers that the effects of injuries that occur exactly at the end of a flashback carry over into his current timeline on his current body. The prisoner didn't see the scars form, because from his perspective they were always present, what he saw was the scars suddenly became fresh wounds on Evan's palms. Still a wallbanger in the sense that this idea of things from the flashbacks coming through to the present is applied inconsistently throughout the movie.
 * Mein Führer - the truly truest Truth about Adolf Hitler. Plot: Hitler is too depressed to speak, so a Jewish acting coach (in fact, the same one who taught Hitler how to be a great orator) is called in to tutor him. While the general idea was good (another movie like Life Is Beautiful, or The Producers, or The Great Dictator, by a Jewish director - why not?), as was casting German comedian Helge Schneider as Hitler, the finished movie indecisively changes from parody to serious and back. Besides, the premise breaks Willing Suspension of Disbelief: Why should the biggest antisemite in history hire a Jewish acting coach, and why should a Jew willingly help a big antisemite?
 * First, he probably helped Hitler because he was afraid of being deported. Second, the thing about Hitler hiring jews is truth in television. His mothers doctor, Eduard Bloch, was a jew, and decades after her death, Hitler offered him protection until he emigrated to the United States.
 * In fact, in real life, when he was called out on one of several incidents of revisionism of the Judaism of a person or artistic work he happened to like, a frustrated Hitler replied, "I decide who is a Jew!" He was never particularly consistent about this point historically, so what is portrayed in the movie isn't really out of character; Hitler himself was just a hypocrite as well as a mass-murdering monster.
 * Oscar's plan to steal the Vanderville gem collection in Short Circuit 2 is nonsensical:
 * He's a bank teller at the bank the jewels are stored in. He has access to a computer scam artist. Hasn't this guy ever heard of embezzlement? He and his computer flunky could swipe ten times the worth of the jewels that way. Instead, he has the guy tunneling under the vault to get to the jewels, which is convoluted and time-consuming.
 * He plans to smuggle them out of the country in plastic dinosaurs. Even his lackies question the idea, and with reason:
 * 1) Hard rocks + plastic container = tons of loud rattling that would tip off customs.
 * 2) Loud rattling + hard rocks = scratched up and damaged rocks. Yes, risk damaging the goods before you can sell them, risk devaluing them beyond a reasonable price drop. Good one, Oscar.
 * There's also the issue with Ben in the second movie:
 * 1) First of all, the SAINT project he worked on was a top-secret military project. Wouldn't he get in trouble for selling toy versions of te robots, even if the project itself went belly-up?
 * 2) Why in the bloody hell is he selling toys on a street corner?! It's shown, when Fred tries selling off Johnny 5, that Ben's name is well-known in the cybernetics circuit, to the point where he'd no doubt be hired by them on the spot, had he actually applied. What, did the events of the first movie so taint his view of working for corporations that he thought working for himself was the safest bet? Apparently not, because in the unreleased third movie, he mopes about not being cut out to be a salesman and eventually gets a job at a California university's space division.
 * The 30 Days of Night sequel starts the same way as the first film, with no investigation into what happened to the small town. They just rebuilt and went on with their lives. Man, those people are stubborn.
 * The Fighter's Dethroning Moment of Suck: Dickey is chased down and beaten up by the cops (they caught him and his girlfriend robbing johns by pretending to be a cop). Micky jumps in to try and protect his brother - after being told by pretty much his entire family not to go out there. The cops decide to teach Micky a lesson by holding him down and breaking his hand with a nightstick (they know he's a pro fighter). All of this, by the way is happening in front of a large crowd of people (at a time when the Rodney King beating was still fresh in people's minds). And as the brothers are being loaded up, Stage Mom Alice shows is shown screaming for Dickie. Despite the fact that all she saw was Micky being possibly crippled. Oh, is there any sort of follow up to this? Charges being filed? Ramifications to Micky's career? Nothing. Everyone acts like Micky busted up his hand in some sort of accident even when he runs into a group of cops at a diner. It would seem the movie makers didn't trust us - the audience - to understand the previous hour's worth of Dickey and Alice being Micky's personal millstones. It had to be made gratuitously explicit.
 * And it didn't even use his injury to include the surgery the real Micky Ward had to strengthen his weak right hand. Some anvils don't need to be dropped.
 * The Fighter's Dethroning Moment of Suck: Dickey is chased down and beaten up by the cops (they caught him and his girlfriend robbing johns by pretending to be a cop). Micky jumps in to try and protect his brother - after being told by pretty much his entire family not to go out there. The cops decide to teach Micky a lesson by holding him down and breaking his hand with a nightstick (they know he's a pro fighter). All of this, by the way is happening in front of a large crowd of people (at a time when the Rodney King beating was still fresh in people's minds). And as the brothers are being loaded up, Stage Mom Alice shows is shown screaming for Dickie. Despite the fact that all she saw was Micky being possibly crippled. Oh, is there any sort of follow up to this? Charges being filed? Ramifications to Micky's career? Nothing. Everyone acts like Micky busted up his hand in some sort of accident even when he runs into a group of cops at a diner. It would seem the movie makers didn't trust us - the audience - to understand the previous hour's worth of Dickey and Alice being Micky's personal millstones. It had to be made gratuitously explicit.
 * And it didn't even use his injury to include the surgery the real Micky Ward had to strengthen his weak right hand. Some anvils don't need to be dropped.


 * The Romantic Comedy Bride Wars: The whole "war" is because the two main characters Liv and Emma will be married at the same place at the same time. Considering how they fantasize about their perfect wedding and having a double-wedding could be a fun idea in the hand of a decent writer, I wonder how is it a bad thing. Maybe it's Truth in Television but that still makes no sense.
 * Doubly so, because their weddings were only on the same day and at different times. The flimsy Hand Wave this gets is that Liv is fed up with having shared everything with Emma for her entire life and wants a wedding day that's all to herself. So much for their friends forever bit.
 * Then there's Liv having her batchelorette party the day before an important meeting.
 * The Brave One has Jodie Foster taking revenge for her horrible beating and the death of her fiancee at the hands of a group of thugs by gunning down criminal types that so much as threaten her. She becomes close friends with the lead detective in her case, but he is also tracking down the one responsible for the recent shootings. He begins to realize that it is her, and steels himself against the idea of arresting her as he gathers evidence. Then he gets a copy of the cell phone recording one of the thugs made when they were beating Foster and her fiancee, and turns on a dime to help her. What the hell? He knew what had happened to her and sympathized, but the movie made it clear that he wasn't going to allow that to prevent him from bringing her in for murder. How does he go from saying to her that he would have to bring in a criminal, even if it was a loved one, to actively helping her commit and cover up a murder!? He even has her shoot him in the arm to make it look like he had shot the perp in self-defense. Absolutely ridiculous, the whole ending.
 * Paparazzi has one of the biggest wallbangers of all time. The protagonist decides to start murdering paparazzi because they had caused a car crash that left his son in a coma, and the movie plays this off as totally acceptable Pay Evil Unto Evil. Whatever. The absolutely unacceptable Dethroning Moment of Suck comes when the protagonist plants a bloody baseball bat in the final man's house, completely throwing the detective off of his trail even though he had overwhelming evidence that the actor was the murderer. Apparently, the idea that the actor could plant evidence never occurred to the detective, and despite the fact that evidence placed him at the scene of every other murder, he crosses him off of the suspect list and arrests the fourth paparazzi photographer.
 * The Neverending Story 3. There is so much to complain about here, but what stuck out most in my mind was the Character Derailment of the Fantasians. In particular, Falcor and the Rockbiter. Falcor was a noble bastion of wisdom in the original film. Here, he's a dim-witted coward. The Rockbiter was changed to the Rockchewer (WHY?!) and now lives on what appears to be the Dinosaurs set with his curler-and-apron-wearing wife, and his son who sounds like he's sniffing helium on the sly. And he rides a tricycle. While singing Born To Be Wild. The makers of this movie clearly neither watched the first two films nor read the original book.
 * CSA the Confederate States of America in its entirety. The Confederacy conquers the Union (no) by winning at Gettysburg (no) with British and French assistance (no) in the form of ground troops (not even in the most die-hard secessionists' wet dreams). The Confederacy then goes to burn down New York and Boston, America's best and largest ports, even though the only reason Britain and France had any sympathy to the CSA was as a result of the cotton trade; yet, the Republican Party somehow endures when you'd assume they would have been put down as abolitionist subversives. Slavery continues into the 21st century. The American middle class, indeed, practically the whole modern world, turns out nearly identical to our own despite the massive changes to the political and economic landscape. The (all-white) Confederate Army conquers all of Latin America and eventually parts of the Middle East, and the Europeans are cool with that. White people are essentially the devil incarnate who like slavery just For the Evulz. Einstein gets his own slave hacienda. American (that is, white) culture is sterile, whereas Canadian culture (influenced by its large free black population) is the trendsetter; in this film, ethnic diversity is an absolute necessity for any form of cultural development, and any population that has ethnic diversity will develop automatically.
 * The slavery bit is particularly irritating. In real life, by the time the Civil War broke out, slaves were extremely expensive (importation of slaves from Africa was banned in the early 1800s, thus limiting supply; an adult male slave could go for $400 on the low end), meaning slavery was the province entirely of the rich. As a result, even among those who were against abolition, support for slavery began to ebb as time went on, the working class viewing it as yet another privilege the wealthy had they never would; once the Emancipation Proclamation came out, Confederate morale collapsed, the soldiers famously coming to view the conflict as "a rich man's war and a poor man's fight". Many historians believe that had the Confederacy won, slavery would not have lasted indefinitely; before the Civil War, Lincoln had drafted plans for gradual and compensated cessation of slavery, which had received approval from Southern members of his cabinet, and it is not impossible to believe similar plans would happen in a successful CSA. In this movie, however, the CSA is basically Slaveryland - slaves are used for every possible purpose, slaves are sold on a site similar to eBay, and the only reason the Confederates don't approve of the Nazis is because they kill the Jews rather than enslave them. Talk about The Theme Park Version!
 * In Breach, what possible reason could the FBI have for not telling O'Neill that he was really investigating a man suspected of treason? They weren't trying to surprise the audience, everyone already knew about the real life events and the movie even starts by showing the news of Hanssen's arrest. They don't even use the clichéd line 'he'd have seen right through you', they just expect the audience to ignore the lack of logic. In real life the FBI certainly didn't do anything so stupid.
 * Rise of the Planet of the Apes is pretty much kicked off by a massive plot hole that just gets more ludicrous the more one thinks about it: How did no one notice that Bright Eyes had a baby? Even if you can swallow that dozens of scientists and professionals (including one brought in specifically for his expertise with primates) missed the pregnant ape, they were doing drug testing. One of the first things - if not the first thing - you do when testing experimental drugs is to do a full physical work-up on your test subjects; both to establish a physical baseline to compare effects to, and to make sure your subjects don't have any conditions that could skew the results of testing. One would think pregnancy would be one of the things you look for.
 * Another skullslammer: Will (the main human character) considers ALZ-112 a failure because his father eventually developed resistance to it and his Alzheimer's came back with a vengeance. "Eventually" in this case, is seven years. A drug that could not only stop Alzheimer's in its track but make the patient's brain functions better than new for years? The company that made such a drug could name their price. And Will abandons it because it wasn't permanent. What an Idiot!!
 * The worst wallbanger in this film is a simple case of mathematics. Now not everyone reading this is a math whiz, but try to follow along anyway: a few hundred enhanced apes declare war on a few billion humans. And the humans have automatic weapons and helicopter gunships and tanks and bombs. Even if the apes were able to inflict 100:1 casualties (100 dead humans for each dead ape), they would lose through simple attrition long before the last human was conquered.
 * That is because, as is implied at both the end of the film and more or less stated in the original series, that the more aggressive ALZ-112 goes on to become a global pandemic and wipes out most of humanity, leaving whatever is left to be enslaved by the apes.
 * Good Luck Chuck is a pretty loathsome movie from start to finish, but it saves its biggest wallbanger to nail those who soldiered through to the end: Chuck (Dane Cook) has broken up with Cam (Jessica Alba), and realizes that the only way to get her back and keep her is to find the goth girl who cursed him originally. After finding her (now a pregnant housewife and mother), she tells Chuck that the curse can't be lifted, but if he was meant to be with a woman, the curse won't work. After the Race For Your Love, Airport-flavor climax, Chuck and Cam reunite, and we cut to Anisha (the goth girl)... removing a pin from a Chuck voodoo doll and putting it away - completely negating the "True Love Conquers All" message.
 * Maybe it's a subversion.
 * The Polar Express: The film gave us the name of the poor boy, Billy, but the credits still show him as "Lonely Boy"?!?
 * Back to The Future: The infamous problem with the Delorean reaching 88 miles per hour at the end of the second film which results in Doc being catapulted back to 1885. Now Word of God has it that the lightning strike caused the car to spin at such velocity that it hit the required speed - the reasoning for the otherwise unexplainable flame trails leaving a 99 shaped trail after it disappears. Thing is... this is the perfect example of someone trying to solve a wallbanger by creating a wallbanger of equal size. If the Delorean spun at 88 miles an hour in mid-air and its stated in dialogue that the lightning strike shorted out the flying circuits there is no way in hell the Doc wouldn't have met an horrific fiery death crashing head first into the ground. Remember also that he wasn't even wearing a seat belt; an action that in real life kills people if they crash at 40 let alone 88.
 * Home Alone: Harry and Marv's vendetta against Kevin in the second film. The exact words Harry uses at the start are One big score. We will get ourselves some phony passports and hightail it to some foreign country in other words they are going to commit one last job so they can evade the authorities and retire. Trying to murder a boy is slightly counter-intuitive to that goal somewhat. Yes, he put you in prison and knocked out one of your teeth but guess what? you would have gotten away absolutely blissfully clean from your robbery of Duncan's Toy Chest if you had just showed some modesty and left the kid alone.
 * Ant-Man: The premise of the movie is that Scott Lang, after being releated from prison on parole for grand larceny, is entirely unable to find any honest work even at the burger-flipping level and is forced by desperation to start stealing again. This requires several things to be true: a) that minimum-wage service jobs consider a nonviolent criminal record to be an absolute disqualifier (hint: they don't), b) that a man with a Master's degree in electronics who is willing to work at substantially below scale for a man of his qualifications cannot find one employer willing to take that deal (hint: while many places will not hire an ex-con no matter what, the chance to get someone overqualified for really cheap will eventually tempt someone), and most unbelievably of all, that a man who is on public record as having successfully subverted an "unbreakable" electronic security system and yet didn't actually keep any of the money he stole for himself but instead donated it all to charitable causes could not successfully find a career in security penetration testing, which is a job even the FBI willingly hires paroled felons for.