For Your Eyes Only (fanfic)

For Your Eyes Only is a very popular Naruto (allegedly) multi-chapter shipfic - but when we say "popular" we don't mean in a good way.

It takes place in an alternate universe which resembles 21st-century Real Life Japan. All the students have been transformed into hermaphroditic toddler-like beings with animal ears and tails. One day, Iruka was walking down the street when he comes across an abandonned kitten. He decides to pick him up, take him home, and name him Naruto. Oh, did we mention the kitten is actually a catboy who is also partially fox? And that he is treated like an animal despite the fact that he is fully sapient? Still with us? Okay...

One day, Naruto complains about feeling sick. Iruka wants to take him to the vet, but decides to take him to a breeder instead because it's closer (perhaps he should talk to this guy). Kakashi, a staff member at the breeding agency, determines that Naruto is in heat and whisks him off to the back room to find him a mate. Naruto is resisting, but his complaints fall on deaf ears. It doesn't take long before another catboy named Sasuke takes interest in him. Naruto, however, dislikes him. Nevertheless, they are immediately thrown into a room together to mate because they both belong to rare breeds and must be mated. From there, the story goes on about Naruto and Sasuke's relationship along with the relationships of all the other animal people at the breeding agency - as well as the people that work there.

This story is a Dead Fic, with the last chapter added on November 2008. It can be found here. The author also posted an uncensored version to his personal Live Journal. Both versions are very much Not Safe for Work.

Not to be confused with a certain James Bond movie, nor its title song by Sheena Easton. It would be less horrifying if it was. Be warned, this article is full of various types of Squick.

intelligence.
 * Aliens Made Them Do It: Or in this case, humans.
 * Alternate Universe Fic
 * Author Appeal
 * Author Filibuster: The author's notes at the end of each chapter, some of which are completely off-topic.
 * Baby Talk - Naruto speaks in a combination of this and You No Take Candle, to the point that he cannot correctly pronounce his own name.
 * Canon Defilement
 * Cliché Storm: Of almost every single bad shipping trope out there
 * Cookie Cutter Fic: It's Pokegirls meets Gor meets Romance Novel... with Naruto names slapped on.
 * Plus what may be a Shout-Out to Loveless: the pets keep their ears and tails all their lives, but their paws turn into human hands and feet when they lose their virginity. Also has distinct similarities to Kit N Kay Boodle, come to think of it.
 * Crap Saccharine World
 * Critical Research Failure: Just for starters, frogs cannot breed with raccoons.
 * Designated Villain: Sakura doesn't even get a line of dialogue, but she's painted as a horrible bitch.
 * Die for Our Ship: Sakura. Sasuke kills her offscreen, and nobody really cares.
 * Double Standard: Sasuke walks up to Naruto without even introducing himself, proceeds to force himself upon him. This is seen as wonderful. But when Sakura so much as flirts with Sasuke, she's killed for it.
 * Endangered Species: Naruto and Sasuke belong to rare breeds.
 * Everybody Has Lots of Sex
 * Everyone Is Gay: Well, a good 99% of the cast, but it's hard to tell with all the gender confusion going on.
 * Everythings Cuter With Kittens: Horribly, horribly subverted.
 * Fan Service: Possibly the main point of this fic.
 * Fetish Fuel / Fetish Retardant: Depends on who you ask.
 * Fridge Logic: Most of the illogic is far too upfront to be called Fridge Logic, but there are a few bits that jump out at you later. For example, the Petting Zoo People are effectively very small humans with animal ears and tails. One of them is meant to be part-frog, but since frogs don't have visible ears or tails, how can they tell?
 * Furry Fandom: This fic is a great example of the worst of it.
 * Gender Equals Breed: Even though they're supposed to be hermaphrodites, when Raccoon!Gaara impregnates Frog!Lee, the resulting tadpole is referred to as a girl while her raccoon twin is referred to as a boy.
 * Gorn
 * Gratuitous Japanese: To be fair, the author's spelling and usage is better than the average fangirl's.
 * Happiness in Slavery: All humanoid animals.
 * Hermaphrodites: All the "pets," though the fic seems to forget this. A lot.
 * Improbable Species Compatibility: Did we mention the frog and the raccoon having babies yet?
 * Humans Are Bastards: Unintentional, but sure seems this way with the way they treat the humanoid animals.
 * Idiot Ball: Naruto. The author is trying to make him seem childish and innocent, but instead he comes off as having a mental disability or severe brain damage.
 * Iruka also seems to be affected at times, especially when he handed over Naruto to be bred despite Naruto's protests.
 * The mousegirl version of Hinata is apparently capable of sleeping through Neji having sex with her. This is possible though implausible in real life, even without the use of drugs. However, it's decidedly less plausible that she doesn't notice the lovingly-described mess all over the bed, as it's never mentioned that Neji cleaned it up before she woke. Then again, since she's still apparently a hermaphrodite at this stage, maybe she assumed it was hers.
 * Idiot Plot: A good example of the original definition of "second order Idiot Plot" since the entire AU society would only work if everyone in it was insanely stupid.
 * In Name Only
 * Informed Attribute: According to the author speaking via Sasuke and Kakashi, Sakura Really Gets Around, but the only time we see her onscreen she's calmly reading a book and rejects Naruto's advances. Allegedly Sasuke killed her for flirting with him, but even assuming he's telling the truth, flirting does not necessarily imply following through. We never see her point of view of her behaviour, as she doesn't get so much as a line of dialogue, and everyone promptly forgets she existed after she's killed.
 * Interspecies Romance: Not just interspecies, interCLASS romance!
 * Kindhearted Cat Lover: Iruka
 * Kissing Cousins: Hinata and Neji
 * Loads and Loads of Characters
 * Lolicon / Shotacon
 * Nightmare Fuel: This is supposed to be cute fluff.
 * Mix-and-Match Critters: Naruto is part cat, part human, and part fox. Sasuke is part cat, part human, and part wolf.
 * Mood Whiplash: Well, it never stops being creepy, but there's a violent change from the unintentionally-creepy attempts at fluff to a very abrupt Gorn sequence when Sasuke kills Sakura.
 * Moral Dissonance: Despite the fact that the humanoid animals think, act, and mostly look just like normal people, they are treated completely as livestock. The narration goes on as if this is perfectly okay and natural, and the only ones who have an inkling that something is wrong with this system refuse to do anything about it.
 * Odd Breed Out: All the other critters are at least mammalian, but Lee ended up as a frog.
 * Out of Character: Just about everyone.
 * Pair the Spares: Just about everyone in this fic is paired up with someone.
 * Petting Zoo People
 * Possession Sue - Naruto, of the purity kind. He belongs to a very rare breed, he's so beautiful everyone wants to rape him, and everyone finds his stupidity charming instead of annoying.
 * Sasuke is an extreme example of a Jerk Sue. He rapes Naruto and treats everyone like shit. Nobody so much as yells at him. To add insult to injury, we're supposed to feel sorry for him when he recounts how Itachi killed his family - just after he got through killing Sakura in the exact same manner! It's only because of his Stuishness that he wasn't put to sleep a long time ago.
 * Rape Is Love: And how! Iruka and Kakashi's relationship is the only one of the four major pairings in the fic in which both are entirely consenting from the start.
 * Really Gets Around: Sakura, for every male except Naruto. This is deemed sufficient reason to brutally murder her.
 * Retcon: The fic can't seem to make up its mind about what gender anybody is. First it's explained that all of the furries are hermaphrodites, but then later they're suddenly treated as though they have genders and gender roles. Naruto himself keeps going back and forth between being "male" and "female."
 * It also can't seem to make up its mind about how these things breed. First it acts like the Seme MUST subdue and rape the Uke to "prove" that the seme is "strong enough" to protect the babies. Later, Sasuke explains that the reason Naruto didn't get pregnant the first time was because the sex wasn't consensual. But when they go at it a second time, Sasuke keeps going even after Naruto tells him to get off. THIS results in a pregnancy. ARRGH!
 * Ridiculously Cute Critter: What the author meant the pets to be.
 * Small Annoying Creature: What the pets actually come across as.
 * Snark Bait
 * Speech Impediment: Nyaruho talksh with a lishp.
 * Squick
 * Strangled by the Red String: Every couple.
 * Teen Pregnancy: Naruto is only sixteen in this fic (though he acts much younger).
 * Their First Time
 * The Woobie: Naruto
 * They Just Didn't Care: Admitted many times in the author's notes.
 * They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: A world where humans can pervert the laws of nature to their will and keep demi-humans as slaves and pets would make an excellent setting for a Dark Fic. Sadly, it's presented as fluff.
 * Third Person Person: Naruto
 * Ukefication: Up to Eleven with Naruto and Lee. Also done to a lesser extent to Iruka.
 * Unfortunate Implications: Where the hell do we START?!
 * Rape is cute.
 * Semes can't help but rape people. It's in their nature.
 * Girls that make the first move are evil whores and should die.
 * It's okay to keep demi-humans as pets, even if they possess human
 * Abortion is wrong even if going through with the pregnancy is 99% likely to kill both the mother AND the babies.
 * Voodoo Shark: The increasingly surreal and unlikely attempts to explain how the hermaphrodites' biology works. According to the most detailed attempt, they're all born as externally male with a uterus connected to their rectum, and if they take the Uke role their penis later develops into a vagina and turns them into a "complete female", while the Semes lose the uterus and become "complete males".
 * WAFF: What the author is trying to accomplish.
 * What Measure Is a Non-Human?: If you're not 100% H. sapiens, you are SCREWED (literally)!
 * Yaoi Guys: Just about every single "male."
 * You Fail Biology Forever: Where to beg-FROGS AND RACCOONS HAVING BABIES TOGETHER.
 * Felines and canines cannot have babies together, either. Nor can felines and vulpines. Or canines and vulpines, come to think of it.
 * Erections lasting THREE DAYS?
 * AT LEAST?!
 * Might have been a misunderstanding of the phenomenon of "knotting". Still fails, as A) knotting only lasts a matter of hours and B) cats don't do it, dogs do. Sasuke is supposedly part wolf, but see the point above about felines and canines not being able to breed together.
 * If Naruto had a hymen up his ass HOW was he able he go to the bathroom?
 * As far as one can tell with all the retcons, the hymen may have been a barrier separating the uterus from the rectum. This does not explain how the critters escape the many potential horrible infections once it's broken.
 * You Fail Logic Forever: Once again, where the hell do we start?
 * You Fail Sex Ed Forever: Ditto.
 * You No Take Candle: Naruto speaks in a combination of this and Baby Talk.