Must Have Caffeine/Quotes

"Luigi: Someone's gonna hang if I don't get my COFFEE!

Assistant: Decaf sir?

Luigi: I WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!!!"

- Repo the Genetic Opera

"''More coffee for me, boss

'Cause I'm not as messed up as I want to be''"

- They Might Be Giants, "Hearing Aid"

"''Pour bien commencer

ma petite journée

et me réveiller

moi, j'ai pris un café''

[For a good start

To my little day

And to get me up

I had a coffee]"

- "Le Café by Oldelaf" (linked to video with subs)

"Lorelai: I already had the longest day of my life and oh look, it's only 10! How nice!

Luke: There's no coffee.

Lorelai: That's not funny.

Luke: I can get you herbal tea.

Lorelai: This is not a herbal tea morning, this is a coffee morning.

Luke: Every morning for you is a coffee morning.

Lorelai: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V.

Luke: I can give you tea and a balance bar.

Lorelai: Please, please, please, tell me you're kidding!

Luke: I'm kidding. [goes to get the coffee]

Lorelai: You're sick!

Luke: Yup

Lorelai: You're a sadist, you're a fiend! [Luke comes out with the pot of coffee] You're pretty!"

- Gilmore Girls, episode two

"Lane: [referring to coffee given to Lorelai at the diner] I made it extra strong. It should blacken your teeth and rot your stomach.

Lorelai: Bless you."

- Gilmore Girls, season 5 episode 2

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,

It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,

The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."

- Popular Usenet Sig

""Here's a triple-shot in the dark. If that doesn't wake you up, you've been dead for a week.""

- Dora Bianchi (owner of Coffee of Doom) Questionable Content

"''If I can't take

my coffee break

my coffee break

my coffee break

If I can't take

my coffee break

Something within me dies."

- "Coffee Break", How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying

"''I'm trying to cut down on my caffeine consumption

So when I get up I just have one cup of coffee

And I'd like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast

And on the way to work I like to get a cup of coffee

I like the kind of cup of coffee you get with your donuts

But I never get the donut I just have the cup of coffee

And when I get to work I have a cup of coffee

'Cause I like a cup of coffee when I'm talking on the phone

But it usually gets cold and I need to get another cup of coffee

And its lunch and I have an espresso~''"

- Jim's Big Ego, "Stress"

""One day I realised that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.""

- Wally, Dilbert

"Eastwood: "Why do I drink coffee?"

Lothar: "Hm? What d'ya mean?"

Eastwood: "It's bad for me, it smells horrible, and tastes worse..."

Lothar: "Well, if you feel that way about it, just lemme take this cup and-"

Eastwood: "AND IF YOU TRY TO TAKE IT FROM ME I WILL BREAK YOUR ARM."

Lothar: "kay...""

- Exterminatus Now

"Lieschen: Ei! wie schmeckt der Coffee süße,,

Lieblicher als tausend Küsse,

Milder als Muskatenwein.

Coffee, Coffee muß ich haben,

Und wenn jemand mich will laben,

Ach, so schenkt mir Coffee ein!

[Mm! how sweet the coffee tastes,

More delicious than a thousand kisses,

Mellower than muscatel wine.

Coffee, coffee I must have,

And if someone wishes to give me a treat,

Ah, then pour me out some coffee!]"

- Johann Sebastian Bach, Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht (a.k.a. "The Coffee Cantata")

""''Blacker than moonless night

Hotter and more bitter than Hell...

That is coffee.''""

- Godot (quoting some French philosopher), Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

""The Navy could probably win a war without coffee but it wouldn't like to try.""

- Samuel Eliot Morrison, Naval historian

""A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.""

- Paul Erdős, attributed.

"Amy: Coffee is rocket fuel for your mind, Shauna. It's very good for you.

Shauna: Don't most rockets explode?"

- Bad Machinery, July 29, 2011

""How do you take your coffee?"

"Often.""

- Andrew Hussie

"Luke: Want some coffee?

Lorelai: I'm beyond coffee.

Luke: Beyond coffee. This is big."

- Gilmore Girls, season 6 episode 6

"These days it comes in pills, it comes in little cans,

Next it'll be suppositories, sounds like a plan.

But I like to make my coffee, like to brew it up and chug,

And kid myself it's still a drink and not just a drug."

- Mitch Benn, "Caffeine"