Homestar Runner/WMG

''Pop-a-u-lation.... tiiiii-yi-yi-yiiiiire!''

All right, everyone. This meeting of the Deleteheads is now in session. Any new theories about the universe?

Free Country USA is ground zero for some form of horrible, reality-shredding experiment.
This results in the strange looks and bizarre abilities of its residents. This is evidenced by minor character Crack Stuntman, a perfectly normal (well, physically) human, being shown to live in the same universe as the more bizarre, physics-defying, and physiologically improbable main cast.
 * Consider how horrifying most of the cast would look if their bodies were subject to the laws of nature. Even if you ignore the several missing limbs, Bubs has flippers, Marzipan is implied to have some kind of sluglike foot in place of legs, Strong Bad's face is at least partially removable, and Coach Z has a face in only the loosest definition of the word. The oldest cast member, the King of Town, could possibly be just a cartoonish human under that Santaman cape thingy, and the youngest, presumably Strong Sad, is both the most grounded in reality and most realistic in his appearance. He has a complete head (unlike the otherwise humanoid Strong Mad), arms with actual fingers (while half the cast are still working on the whole "arms" business), and feet with toes (animal feet, but it's something). This variation in mutations implies that whatever warped Free Country's reality started off slowly, came into full force at around the time of Homestar and Marzipan's births (living flesh broomstick?!), and waned slowly since. Homsar, with his vague age and origin, is some kind of anomaly, it's possible that he's the cause of all the chaos in the first place. Or, as stated above, he is God.
 * Strong Sad, being the smartest and least mutated of the cast, is depressed (and used to dream of his own death) because unlike his companions, he's aware of how horribly, nightmarishly wrong their existence is.
 * Alternatively, the experiment affected Homsar so badly that reality itself actually distorts in his presence. He's not an anomaly, he's their greatest success.
 * The name "Free Country, USA" implies extreme patriotism to the point of potential propaganda, meaning that the US government might be responsible for whatever it is that's going on down there. Will we be seeing amputee telepaths and wrestlemen deployed in Iraq?
 * Um, you seem to be forgetting something. We've only see Crack Stuntman's upper body. I have a feeling that from the waist down he looks like Da Huuuuuuuuuudge.
 * If we take this further, it's possible that Salad Fingers exists in the same universe as Homestar Runner. Salad Fingers, however, is set in an area where the experiments had a rather more unpleasant effect.
 * http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixjnnPweYXY

Here's how the story goes...
The military attempted to create a team of superior beings for use in warfare, but all were either failures (Strong Sad, Bubs and Coach Z have no superhuman abilities that we've seen), not geared toward combat (either physically like Marzipan or mentally like Homestar himself), or simply too powerful to be controlled (as demonstrated by the reality-warping powers of Homsar and, to an extent, Strong Bad). They were sealed in a specially constructed underground dome, but the government knew that even that could not stop them if they wanted to break free. They created an entire community for the beings, keeping them happy so they would not attempt an assault on human society, supplying Strong Bad with infinite e-mails to focus his near-omnipotence on and airing propaganda cartoons such as the Cheat Commandos to attempt to make the Homestar Runner-ers see things our way (they probably see the cartoons as being as ridiculous as we do).
 * Bubs DOES have superhuman abilities. Not only as the Thnikkaman, but he used to have the ability to hover. Of course, then he lost it by saying sbu, but still....
 * Strong Sad also appears to have the power of il-l-l-l-lusion according to the sbemail "magic trick."
 * What about Strong Mad? Super strong, too dumb to disobey orders, pretty much invincible? If beings like that existed, I can imagine quite a few governments willing to strap a helmet on them (somehow...) and point them at their enemies.
 * Sadly, they would be too easy to trick: all they would have to do is broadcast video and audio of The Cheat, and the Strong Mads will run joyously into enemy fire.

Or rather, Free Country USA is the product of Homsar's deranged imagination.
Rather than some reality-bending accident, everything we see are the delusions of Homsar, who is really an incurably insane human locked in a madhouse somewhere. It would explain why everything seems to defy space, time, and logic, as well as the bizarre appearances of all the characters and places. Adding to that, this insane world could very well be the collective unconscious of several inmates, such as the manically depressed Coach Z, or the emotionally unstable Strong Sad.
 * So they're all human?
 * This.

Free Country USA is an experimental psychiatric hospital
The concept is since the people there are so maladjusted to real life, they create a fantasy world through advanced holographic technology in hopes of teaching the inmates how to cope with real-world situations without any of the danger. The inmates give themselves new names, new appearances but their personalities and disorders remain the same. There are only two people aware of this, Bubs (Who is one of the wards running the place, this also explains how he can control the entire token economy) and Strong Bad, who managed to find a way to contact the outside world via e-mail. (The wards allowed him to have his little e-mail show, provided he never tries to meet any of the e-mail senders in person. They think this is conducive to his ongoing therapy. They tried to let Homestar have an e-mail show as well, but it didn't work out.) This has worked for some inmates (Strong Sad and Coach Z have stopped suicide attempts, And Marzipan can be persuaded to eat food once in a while) But there are others it hasn't. (Senor Cardgage mostly) Yet each of the inmates is still too unstable to be released into the real world again, hence, they stay in Free Country Psychiatric ward.

The "subpoena" in rampage leads to the "lawsuit" in rough copy.
Hey, not every theory has to be complicated; it just makes sense.

Homestar and Strong Bad are cousins.
A small bit of dialogue in the Sbemail "shapeshifter" seems to imply they have the same grandmother.

Homestar and Marzipan are not dating; they are brother and sister.
Marzipan just pretends to date Homestar because it (theoretically) keeps Strong Bad, Coach Z, and the others from making any moves on her. This troper can't think of too many couples who bicker as much as they do and still share a genuine love. Further, notice that neither shows any sign of visible arms; was their mom a thalidomide junkie, or simply a telekinetic mutant?
 * Possibly, the King of Town is their father. He's the only other armless character, and he's certainly old enough.
 * Homsar doesn't have any arms either. Does that mean he's the son of Homestar and Marzipan?
 * ...Taken with the aforementioned theory, that would actually explain a lot. And there actually is an old character page that identifies Ko T as Marzipan's dad. (This has been officially Jossed, however.)
 * In respone to the "Is Homsar the son of Homestar and Marzipan?" comment, the 2009 halloween costumes did say that homestar+marzipan=homsar.
 * Sorry, but Homsar was raised by a cup of coffee and a chipwich. How would a terrific athlete and a baseball bat give birth to a knock-knock joke about jogging suits that is also a song from the 60s?
 * I forget where, but in some interview, after being asked about the Ko T being Marzipan's dad and explaining they decided to ditch the idea, they mentioned "maybe he just started pretending he was Marzipan's dad to get name-recognition. That poor, depressing, creepy old man." Or something to that effect.

Homestar has A Crush on Strong Bad and/or vice versa.
Think about it. They basically act like two adolescent kids who don't want to admit their attraction. The teasing, the pranks, the amount of time spent around each other. If they dislike each other so much, why do they hang out so often?
 * Homestar Evidence: In one SBemail, Homestar (dressed as The Cheat -- don't ask) says he thinks he's "falling for" Strong Bad after SB sings a love song. He's often in Strong Bad's house for no real reason, and he seemed willing to go to Strong Bad's party over his own girlfriend's luau!
 * Well, it is Marzipan's party, which would most likely involve unflavored tofu. The horror
 * Strong Bad's Evidence: In true ten-to-twenty-four-year-old male style, he picks on Homestar for no obvious reason other than his mere existence. Like teasing a girl in third grade, a sure sign of a crush. Plus, when he created Stinko Man, the first person besides himself he adapted for it? You guessed it. Wouldn't you think he would have gone for The Cheat, or one of his brothers? Homestar is obviously on his mind.
 * Also, in the 2007 Halloween special, Jibblies 2, he seems fairly resigned to living the rest of his life with Homestar Runner and "turning into Mole Men"... just how does that work?
 * Counterpoint. Hell Massachusetts is other people.
 * Ah, yes, but Homestar seems to think that it's heaven. What does that tell you?
 * That Massachusetts is a really nice place? Here, have some cranberry melonade.
 * Judging from the email fan club, Strong Sad is a Homestar/Strong Bad shipper. While I agree with the pairing, slashing your own brother is a little bit creepy.
 * Seems less like serious shipping, and more like 'getting revenge on your brother who is frequently an asshole to you now that you apparently have a magic, reality-controlling typewriter'.
 * Of course, there's the problem of how Strong Bad acts like a Casanova Wannabe. For this theory to work, he's either bisexual or overcompensating.
 * Well, exactly. He's the typical closeted case.
 * And it's pretty clear Homestar is more interested in Strongbad than his own girlfriend.
 * This troper is reluctantly calling the Rule 34 emergency hotline.
 * The Rule 34 emergency hotline directs you here.
 * Alternatively, SB is either straight or a bisexual in denial, and part of the reason he hates Homestar so much is because he causes Stupid Sexy Flanders in him in addition to being, well, Homestar. As for Homestar... well, who knows how he thinks?
 * Anyone remember his reaction to Sexy Girl Homestar in the Halloween costumes? With no excuse to sublimate his attraction, Strong Bad's brain nearly broke.
 * He doesn't like to see Homestar dating Marzipan, anyone?

Strong Sad is really God and Homsar is his pawn
Master Of Time And Space, anyone?
 * No wait, Strong Sad is either Jesus or the angel of death.
 * In the first case, at least, according to most Christian doctrines, that would still make him God. Under the above theory, in turn, I'm guessing that would make Homsar an angel?

Senor Cardgage is Strong Bad's father.
Um, yup I reckon that covers it.
 * I'd buy it.
 * Interestingly, in SBCG 4 AP Episode 4, Dangeresque: The Criminal Projective, Senor Cardgage is actually drafted in to play Dangeresque's dad, Dadgeresque.
 * However, he is not Strong Mad's father. He may or may not be Strong Sad's father, but the affair was ongoing into Strong Sad's childhood, which accounts for Strong Sad's feelings of distrust and unease towards him.
 * Who wouldn't feel uneasy and distrustful around Senor Cardgage?
 * You're all wrong: The Brothers all share the same father: Strong Dad.
 * So maybe Senor Cardgage is Strong Bads mother?
 * Who's to say Cardgage can't be Strong Bad's crazy uncle? That's a possibility. Or, he might BE SB's father. I like to think he's SB's father, but whatever.

Mr. Bland is Strong Sad's father.
Judging by similarities in their physical appearance and apparent personality, I'd say this is a given.
 * And doesn't Strong Bad always insist that Strong Sad is adopted? Maybe he's right (or at least half-right, if they share the same mother).

Heavy Weapons Guy is Strong Mad's father.
Because it would be funny.

Strong Sad is Marzipan's real boyfriend.
But in order to keep up his appearance as the Butt Monkey, the have a mutual agreement to pretend to be just friends while Marzipan pretends to date the "more popular" Homestar Runner.
 * Except that in the most recent "Marzipan's Answering Machine," the King of Town leaves a somewhat shady message for Marzipan about their plot against Strong Sad...

The Cheat is Strong Bad's daemon.
...Which also means that The Cheat could be female, seeing as, more often than not, daemons are the opposite sex to their human. Hey, it could happen!
 * or that Strong Bad is female.
 * On the other hand... The Cheat has been consistently referred to as a male, has never shapeshifted into another form, is regularly much farther away from Strong Bad than the rules allow, Strong Bad certainly never gets hurt in connection with The Cheat, and in general, suffers no ill effects when somebody else touches The Cheat. (Considering what The Cheat goes through on a regular basis, a severe attack of the Jibblies on Strong Bad's part would be getting off light.)
 * Well, daemons settle in their form eventually, and same-gendered daemons may mean something about the person's sexuality (perhaps lending weight to the "gay for Homestar" theory above), and witches can travel far from their daemons. As for Strong Bad kicking and general abuse of The Cheat... well, Mrs. Coulter does strike her daemon in the film.
 * ...maybe Strong Bad is subconciously lashing out against The Cheat for being the same gender as him.

Strong Mad and The Cheat are such good friends due to Strong Mad's parental instincts.
In Strong Bad Email #100, 'flashback', it's revealed that The Cheat was born from an egg that Strong Mad broke open. Although Strong Bad, being the winner of the egg, claimed The Cheat as his own, Strong Mad, being the egg's hatcher, considered himself to be The Cheat's father (or - shudder - mother).

Homsar is Homestar's father
It makes about as much sense as anything else. Homestar's Cloudcuckoolander tendencies are really just him lapsing into his native language
 * Not to mention, in the DVD version of Theme Song Video (it's different from the website version in that the video goes all the way until the end of the audio, and where the clips are shown are somewhat fitting to the lyrics), Homsar is shown on the line "Homestar Runner, mom and dad".

The King of Town made the Poopsmith take his vow of silence.
He was complaining about his job too much, and the Ko T got so annoyed that he eventually said something like "Stop complaining or you're fired". The Poopsmith, not wanting to lose his job since poop-shovelling was the only thing he knew how to do, decided that if he couldn't talk, he couldn't complain, and therefore took a vow of silence.

The King of Town is Homestar and Homsar's father
All three are white, armless, vaguely retarded and two of them will latch onto Strong bad if given the chance. (Strong Bad seems to prefer Homsar to the other two) Homestar and Homsar ar brothers, but they had different mothers. Homestar's mom was Brunswick Stew, KOT's wife, while Homsar's mom was a chipwhich (who foisted him off onto a cup of coffee and left for Vegas as soon as she could) Why can't the KOT recall this? He ate the birth certificates of both his sons.

The scrapped fact about the King of Town being Marzipan's father is true.
...sort of. The Ko T simple thinks Marzy is his daughter. Originally, he just started saying that to be cool and stuff. Then he forgot his reason and just thinks it anyways. Marzipan replies by mooching him off and getting trust funds. And remember, it was stated the the King of Town is Marzipan's father, but not vice-versa.

Homestar Runner is ending altogether in 2008.
Considering all the points made in the "Last SBEmail" WMG above, it soon becomes clear that the entire site is slated to end. The Goblin did a super-fancy dance, Strong Bad got his own series of 5 video games, Homsar was revealed to be almost normal after all... the list goes on. Naturally, the minigame in 8-Bit Is Enough will be none other than Stinkoman 20X6: Version 8.
 * ...that's actually kinda depressing to think about. Yeah, nothing can last forever, but even so. D:
 * I'm gonna have to say that's not true, because the Homestar store is where The Brothers Chaps make a living.
 * Frankly, I myself am hoping it's not true. We'll find out in two days if Stinkoman 20X6 was in fact the minigame. Hopefully we'll be Jossed. I also hope Telltale will pick up a second season.
 * Adding to this theory: Teen Girl Squad had their final exams and Crack Stuntman left Cheat Commandoes. And Coach Z is putting on his accent after all, and Bubs is his brother or some other relation. But as soon as all the characters' parents show up, someone gets killed off, Marzipan and Homestar get married and Strong Bad reveals how he types with boxing gloves on, draws Trogdor again and finally scores with the ladies, I'll believe it. :O
 * Good news: The minigame in episode five isn't Stinkoman level 10. Bad news:
 * More good news: we have HR Emails!
 * And not only that, but a new non-email toon, "Best Caper Ever." I'd say that officially Josses this.
 * Thankfully, it is now 2009, and Homestar Runner is still here.
 * Unthankfully, it is now 2010, and Homestar Runner is not here.
 * Thankfully, it is still 2010, and Homestar Runner is finally here.
 * Unthankfully, it is now 2011, and Homestar Runner is not here.
 * Unthankfullier, it is now 2012, and Homstar Runner is has not been seen for over a year.
 * Thankfully, it's 2012, and this happened.

The website has stopped updating for good...
...because, after working with the folks at Telltale, the Brothers Chaps have decided to turn Homestar Runner into a video game franchise. We won't be seeing any more flash cartoons, but we will be seeing more fun games that completely retain the humor and appeal of the site.

The Chapmans are slowly trying to kill off the franchise.
They're sick of doing the cartoons and of the fame it brought them. Although there were several ways of closing down the site, they decided to take the route that would be the most likely to make everyone lose interest: stop uploading content altogether and abstain from regular blog updates. To help this process along, they make occasional updates to give us the false hope that the hiatus is over, only for us to be frustrated when we turn out to be wrong...which will make us more likely to give up on the series and leave Matt and Mike alone.

Let me say that 1. this is probably more pessimistic than it is realistic, and 2. I hope to God I'm wrong about this. It's just that, after all this time, this theory has crossed my mind on more than a few occasions.

The series will make a return in 2012, with the first new 'toon being "The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed".
Please say you guys get the joke.
 * I do!

The Brothers Chaps have been working on something else
Think about it: flash cartoon, Periphery Demographic, slapstick humor... and Matt did he didn't want to give up making cartoons.
 * Well, that would certainly give me a reason to start like those ponies. But just a question: what is H*R's Periphery Demographic?
 * It was originally for a book for kids (or a parody of one), got picked up by the college crowd, and eventually settled on a pre-teen to college viewership.
 * Alternatively, they've been making a certain other show on The Hub.
 * Actually, they (or at least Matt) have been working on something else. For reals this time.

In the new Decemberween toon, Homsar is dying due to the lack of new toons,
Since Homsar (as discussed in the WMG below) might be God, it's logical that he also might be a Gods Need Prayer Badly type of God. Since many people (including this troper) have been losing faith of there being new updates to the site, Homsar's abilities are waning. Of course, now that the new toon is out, Homsar will be back on his feet (or hovering several feet above the ground) in no time.

Local Cloudcuckoolander Homsar is God.
This comes from a random statement he makes in the middle of a montage: "I'm saving the best for last". He's described as being "Time- and space-defying" in one episode and has shown an amazing number of powers over the course of the show -- control over gravity (he's levitated more than once, and his hat...), duplication, transmutation, and resurrection among them.
 * It follows that, the day he causes the end of all things, everything he said over the course of the show - yes, even "you shank my jengaship" - will make complete sense.
 * This makes him more awesome than he already was.
 * So, Homsar created Homestar in his own image?

The Drive-Through Whale is the devil.
Strong Bad even wonders at one point whether they're the same person; Homsar floats by and replies, "Don't count on it, muenster man" (an oddly direct answer, for him). "Sever your leg, please, sir" takes on a much darker meaning here.
 * Not as dark as the "It's the greatest day" line. Given that Strong Bad's computer seems to run reality, perhaps it was trying to cause the Apocalypse (the "greatest day" from the devil's perspective) using Strong Bad as a catalyst, since he's been exposed to his computer so much.
 * This suggests that the Drive-Thru Whale, directly or indirectly, is responsible for the Virus e-mail. (This assumes the Apocalypse here means a general "end of the world"; the Biblical Apocalypse definitely wouldn't be the Devil's "greatest day.")
 * In Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode One, the Whale can say, verbatim, "When the End Times come, we will all dance the Conga of the Apocalypse!"
 * Hate to spoil your party, but that's a cryptic hint. In the party, you have to turn on the conga music, and both ruin the party, and the end of the party is the end of the game. The Whale's SBCG 4 AP dialouge has been confirmed to be cryptic hints for the wimpy at the HR Wiki.
 * Not mutually exclusive...

Homsar and Drive-Thru Whale are enemies from another universe
My theory is that there is an underlying world in the HR universe. And very powerful beings in that world can coexist in the HR universe. Homsar and Drive-Thru Whale are two of those beings. Drive-Thru Whale is evil and wanted to use his powers to torture the characters. Homsar found out about this and came here before him to place defenses upon the HR-verse. But, before he could completely finish, SB dropped the Lourde on him. While it didn't kill him, it left him weak. Drive-Thru Whale attacked him while he was recovering, giving him a massive case of scatterbrain, and making him the character we know today. But, when Drive-Thru Whale tried to use his power on the characters, he found that Homsar completed enough preparations to prevent him from using his power to the fullest. So, the best he can do is annoy people, and his speech are actually strings of curse words in the other world. That pylon in Homsar Reservation was a preparation by Homsar in case of massive scatterbrained, and it temporarily gave him his memory. Unfortunately, it was destroyed.

The final boss of Stinkoman 20 X 6
is the same person as the mysterious round-faced "man" in the Games Menu.]] This troper believes in the Gun of Chekhov. Yeah, that 'man' is 20X6 Coach Z. Honestly, you haven't figured that out
 * This one actually makes sense. Are you sure it belongs here?

Naked Ned is Rather Dashing's grandfather.
Rather Dashing's grampa used to wear a vintage peasant robe and Ned has one. Also, Ned's old robe smells like [Rather Dashing's] grampa's lap.

So-and-So's stepmom, Judith So-and-So-erson, is the Arrow'd Guy's sister.
They look a lot alike, and they both seem to enjoy inflicting Amusing Injuries and other abuse on the girls, especially The Ugly One.
 * Alteratively, she is the Arrow'd Guy in drag and So-and-So's dad doesn't want to come out of the closet to her.

Strong Bad is omnipotent, but doesn't realize his powers
We had it on the unifying WMG, and why not? Everything he makes up eventually becomes real. The Drive Through Whale is still Satan.
 * From the HSR FeedBurner Page: "Strong Bad says - Cheerleader's favorite black-wristband wearing high school band Brainkrieg is BACK with their Halloween single 'Decomposing Pumpkins!' Now I know what you're thinking. 'But, Strong Bad, since you DRAW the Teen Girl Squad, doesn't this mean that technically YOU made this song?' And the answer is this: I kinda black out a lot lately and when I wake up sometimes things I made up in my brain come to life. I practically pee my pants every time a Cheat Commandos comes on."

Strong Bad does realize his powers, but it's slowly driving him insane.
It already happened to Homsar. Ever wonder why he gets the jibblies so often compared to everyone else? They need the likes of the Horrible Painting to get anything out of them. Strong Bad gets them from something like giving the Poopsmith a bath (I know, major Squick, but still) or Homestar and Marzipan on a date. And when Strong Bad does see the Horrible Painting, he either dances around and collapses or levitates and walks on the ceiling. That's him getting so jibblied he loses control of his powers. He's slowly becoming less and less sane, as reflected in his extreme sensitivity to the jibblies, and will, in many years, be reduced to a gibbering mess like Homsar.

Strong Bad was planning out the events in 8-Bit Is Enough long before it happened.
That's why he stopped drawing "The S is for Sucks Dragon"; it wasn't strong enough. He drew Trogdor because he was more fit for the job. Think about how many coincidences had to happen before Trogdor came to life: he had to make Dangeresque 3 (and, therefore, 2 and 1), everyone had to hate it, the Trogdor machine had to be next to the TV, and he had to hit it at just the right angle in order to break the logic board. Also, Homestar had to be irradiated by the Taranchula Black Metal Detector after swallowing his quarter, Videlectrix had to call back just too late, and the sender of "dragon" had to send it in the first place. Think about how many things created by Strong Bad were involved: Trogdor, Dangeresque, Taranchula... He was pulling the strings. He was a puppet master, and we were his puppets. He was originally going to take over Free Country, USA, with Trogdor, but when Strong Badia was burninated, years of planning collapsed and he just had to end it. It makes sense!
 * That's why Dangeresque 3 took so long to come out aaaaaaugh

Strong Bad is actually really cool, despite all the evidence to the contrary.
It's all in the irony.
 * Actually, now that I revisit this not half asleep, I can actually see Dave thinking of Strong Bad as a really cool guy if they ever met. Also, it would be the most hilarious conversation ever.

Strong Mad is the monster Gossamer from Looney Tunes.
He just got a shave, a manicure, and some new threads. That one time he dressed up as Gossamer for Halloween he just let his hair grow out.
 * According to that Duck Dodgers cartoon, when you shave Gossamer there is nothing left underneath. Of course, we didn't actually get to see it happen...

Strong Bad's keyboard consists only of three giant buttons, and that's how he can type with boxing gloves on.
They're built to look like several smaller keys- the two on either side are "Type stuff" and the middle one is "Deleted!".
 * Everyone should have a computer like that. But you forgot the "save forever" button.
 * You also forgot the little toe.

Alternatively, Strong Bad is a technopath.
This explains not only how he can type with boxing gloves on (he just mashes the keys and instructs the computer to do the rest - the cases where he was typing unintelligibly, his power was being blocked somehow), but also how he could type with his head or foot (it was unconscious in "sisters" and Rule of Funny in "funny"). It also explains why he has such an attachment to his computers and considered the Compy his brother and the Lappy an "orphanage". It is conducted through his blue diamond (see the DVD commentary for "sisters" - you can read it on the wiki). In Hremail 7, The Cheat actually said, "You can talk to it, can't you?" In fact, his confusion over the fact that he has to type stemmed from the thought that he could just tell the computer to bring up the email, but he just ended up booting it up and making the green lines/"emails" appear.
 * Then how come he didn't know what computers were?
 * That doesn't have anything to do with the presence of his power. He just didn't know they existed and may have not known there was anything odd about technopathy until he had a bit of experience.

Trogdor's big beefy arm is infact, the God Hand
How else is he so powerful?
 * Also, in the Trogdor arcade game, in order to activate his burnination move, you need to squish at least 10 peasants. This is similar to God Hand's difficulty levels which goes up the more people you successfully beat up. Burnination is what happens when you hit level Die.

Homsar is autistic
Ignoring the fact that autism is a thing from birth (possibly by genetics or a certain injection), Homsar does have similarities to a severely autistic kid I know very well. This kid often goes "EEEEE Eeeeee EEEEEE!" and jumps around. And when he does say actual words, my brother says fragments and weird things... Like "Esquigie" instead of "Esquire". Or "Ostrika" instead of "Orchestra".

So, I was thinking that Homsar might be moderately autistic. Also, it has been proven that a few autistics, including my brother, are actually quite intelligent under their disorder, and for Homsar, I cite SBCG4AP 2.

The Carnivorous Undead Sheep in the Most In The Graveyard toon is one of the sheep that The KOT ate in the The King Of Town DVD toon
Exactly What It Says On the Tin.

Homsar's parents are divorced
The reasoning is simple. When we get a picture of them, it says"Homsar's parents" on the bottom, meaning the Coffee that raised him was married to the Chipwich. However, he says "I was raised by coffee", not "I was raised by coffee and a chipwich". Meaning, the chipwich walked out on the coffee at some point.
 * It naturally follows that Homsar's odder tendancies stem from the stress that this event placed on him when he was young.
 * Except Homsar never said he was raised by a cup of coffee. That was Strong Bad's imagination.

The Chipwich died of melting
Related to the above theory, only, Chipwich never left. It mated with a cup of coffee, something known for being quite warm. It is likely that it melted shortly after Homsar's conception, and the photo we see is from the wedding. Like the above, this led to stress that made Homsar what he is today, in this case the stress placed by the constraints of a single-parent home, and being raised by a (mother, presumably) that killed his father, and likely blamed him for it.

SBEmail 200, "email thunder", marks the end of Strong Bad Emails altogether.
Now, I wish I didn't have to say this, and, of course, I could be wrong, but... "email thunder" has a very clear "series finale" vibe to it, what with the special introduction, the Poopsmith speaketh, the guitar music and list of emails at the end...
 * Furthermore, from now on, instead of emails, there will be HREmails.
 * The first toon in weeks is an HREmail. On the other hand, it could be all a joke, since the letter sounds really fake and clicking the "email Homestar" text at the end does nothing. But it does seem like proof the Brothers Chaps are reading this. Let's be careful what we say.
 * Ying-Yang, Spaddle Blocker, Whoop-de-loggy-ying-tang-ying-tang-ying-tang-iddle-i-po, Splop splip sklock rubbers?
 * The official title is "Hremail 62", suggesting that it is indeed a joke and not the start of an entire new series. Unless the Brothers Chaps actually plan to start counting with 62. Weirder things have happened on that site.
 * From the looks of things, Hremails seem to be released in a random order, with the release of Hremail 2000 on February 2nd.
 * Methinks Homestar doesn't know how to count.
 * Now they're just mocking us.
 * Bring sbemail back!
 * Guys! Guys! Everyone! Sbemail 201 is here! It's just named hremail3184. It's really Sbemail 201. And . Just watch it!
 * Officially Jossed (read: a toon whose URL actually includes the word "sbemail") by "imaginary".

There never were any SBEmails, every toon on the website is a HREmail.
We are missing the openings and endings but every last toon (expet the answer phones, they are a Spin Off) is meant to open with Homestar checking his email. SB Emails are a Show Within a Show that began when Homestar received the "some kinda robot" email and imagined what it would be like if Strong Bad actually has his own email show. For example Ever and More! began with the email:

Dear Homestar, ''What you has club? Is club secret? Is you leader of club? Is hats?'' Funktionaly, Bob

Old-Timey Strong Bad, Strong Man, and Sickly Sam are all great grandfathers of the Brothers Strong.
Notice the old-timey cartoons never imply that these three characters are related to each other. If the above guess also holds up, this would mean two of them are also the grandfathers of Senor Cardgage.
 * Good Theory, except that there are no such thing as mothers.

The DNA Evidence would not have revealed that Strong Sad is half-hippo or half-elephant.
Rather, he's half-Marshie.

Strong Sad stole the DNA Evidence not to protect the identity of his feet, but because he thought Strong Bad was going to use it to determine his (Strong Sad's) parentage.
Like us, he secretly suspects that the Brothers Strong aren't all whole brothers.

The DNA Evidence is a sample of Strong Sad's blood.
He's obviously not human, so why not? Also, the Homestar Runner Wiki's page on blood mentions no instances of Strong Sad bleeding, so this hasn't been Jossed yet.
 * It has

Marzipan's name is Maid Marzipan
It isn't directly stated that the "Old Maid Marzipan" nickname given by Bubs in DNA Evidence is a nickname at all, and in the latest Decemberween toon, it seems Marzipan is her last name.

Strong Sad is Samara
Or a piece of her soul. Or vice-versa. ...Or something.

Oh, and the Experimental Film music video is the videotape.

Let's look at the facts, shall we?

Experimental Film music video was made by Strong Sad.

The videotape was made by Samara.

In the lyrics of Experimental Film, it is stated that at the end of the film, your face will implode.

Seven days after you watch the videotape, you die and your face looks like it imploded or something.

QED


 * Umm, problem. Strong Sad didn't write the song's lyrics, They Might Be Giants did.

The whole site and everything on it is a story (or series of stories) that Strong Bad is writing.
Strong Bad is the author of everything on the site, from the normal toons to the sbemails and the Cheat Commandos cartoons. All the other characters are made up by Strong Bad and possibly based off people he knows. He writes himself into the story too, but deliberately downplays himself occasionally to pull a kind of Lampshade Hanging on the Mary Sue phenomenon. He also made up the email "fan club" and wrote it into the story as an Author Filibuster against it, having Strong Sad (his character) create the "Twelve Times A Day Man" persona to inform to us (his readers) how ridiculous Mary Sues are. Either everything is in one story book or series of story books, or there are many series of books (like one for the sbemails, one for the toons (including holiday toons) and one for Cheat Commandos, among others) and Strong Bad writes them all. This explains why everything that he makes up in his emails happens in real life; he's actually just writing them into the story about the emails, and then thinks "Hey, that'd make a great addition to my story" and so he puts it into the rest of his stories as well. The final shot of the final toon on Homestar Runner will show the camera zooming out of a book, into which the last few words of a line are being written in pencil, and then the camera will cut to Strong Bad at a writing desk as he closes the book. It is unclear whether Strong Bad actually does have brothers in real life and based the characters of Strong Mad and Strong Sad off them, or whether he just plain made them up. The Cheat could be based on his pet dog, Homestar is probably based on his best friend, Marzipan on his best friend's girlfriend (or maybe even on his girlfriend), Bubs on a local store owner whom he knows, Coach Z as his (possibly former) athletics coach, and the rest are probably just totally made up. Also, he came up with the idea for Homsar when he accidentally spelt Homestar's name wrong while writing, and thought "Homsar" sounded like an awesome character name.

The Brothers Strong are Japanese.
Why else would they put their surname first? Also, Strong Sad seems to have an affinity for Japanese things such as haiku and anime. Strong Bad claims that he doesn't know or care what a "hai-oo-koo" is, yet he recites one in one of his sbemails. Strong Bad is probably rejecting his heritage, while Strong Sad embraces it.
 * So maybe Strong Bad is making fun of Japanese culture with Japanese Culture Greg, instead of the Brothers Chaps.
 * Having their surname first can also make them Hungarian. The Japanese aren't the only ones who have their names in that order, you know.

Homestar accidentally cloned himself.
We've seen several instances of there being two Homestars on the screen at the same time, and in Homestar Ruiner three Homestars show up in Strong Bad's house -- and must all be gotten rid of separately, proving that they are actually three separate entities. Obviously Homestar had an accident with a cloning machine. Homsar is the clone that went wrong; Homestar even addresses Homsar as "Homestar" in the sbemail "looking old", alluding to this fact.
 * Homsar may also have cloned himself, as two Homsars also show up in the same place from time to time.

Strong Sad actually is dead.
He died long ago and has been wandering around as the living dead ever since. Apparently his body is still corporeal, as other characters can hit it, and he hasn't started to decay for some reason, but he's still dead. Evidence? Firstly, other characters make references to Strong Sad being dead many times. Strong Bad remarks that Strong Sad "was dead" as he concludes the report of his experiment in caffeine. Coach Z says in an earlier sbemail, impression, "It's as if Strong Sad was still alive and with us today!" in response to The Cheat's impression of Strong Sad's left leg. Secondly, in Most In The Graveyard, Strong Sad doesn't show up in Marzipan's photograph, and Marzipan asks him if he's dead, to which he replies "Oh, maybe I am!" Or maybe he's more of an Unsent, which explains why he still has his body, and the thing keeping him from moving on from the world is his desire for revenge on his brothers.
 * Or, possibly, he cannot move on because he was buried without his soolnds. After Strong Sad died, Strong Bad chopped off his feet and turned them into shoes, as seen in Hremail 2000.

Senor Cardgage is a sexual predator, and possibly made Strong Bad one of his victims in the past.
First of all, Strong Bad idolizes him with an almost puppy-like devotion, while his brothers seem to be afraid of him ("He was really sketchy and gave me nightmares!"). Secondly, we have Papa Cardgage's Pudding Patch. Thirdly, he eerily treats male characters as if they were female. Suddenly, "Say hello to my tacklebox" and "I hope you get all my particles" evoke a whole new meaning...

All the Videlectrix games and television shows are Strong Bad licensing out his bizarre ideas.
It often happens where things Strong Bad just makes up suddenly become television shows and video games. The reason for this is that Strong Bad often pitches his often very mundane or bizarre ideas to network executives and video game developers in order to make a quick buck. Desperate developers like Videlectrix, which has a staff of two people, are going to be more likely to crank out his ideas, considering their implied poor corporate situation. After all, it's 2009 and they're still making games that at best the NES would be able to handle. They might even approach HIM for ideas, as it's implied Strong Bad is the only member of the Videlectrix Fan Club. Stinkoman might be the result of Strong Bad pitching his anime-version-of-self TV show idea to Cheap as Free, and thus a licensed video game adaptation was created. This also goes to explain Cheat Commandos, The Lil Brudder and Maybe Tendafoot Too Show, Peasant's Quest, and so on.

Homsar is another incarnation of the Doctor.
Because, seriously? It hasn't been said yet? This is WMG, people!
 * No no no. Homestar is The Doctor, and Strong Bad is The Master. They got tired of all the posturing, and decided to make their own little multi-verse where they could act out their rivalry (complete with Foe Yay) out as they pleased.

Senor Cardgage is a visitor from another dimension who never left.
There's been some confusion over who he really is, why he's apparently Creepy Combover Story Strong Bad AND Senor Cardgage at the same time, and why, if he's the former, has he ceased to be a figment of Strong Bad's imagination and become a real character. The answer became obvious last night: He existed in an alternate dimension in which Strong Bad was "a different kind of cool," directly inspired by his own childhood memories of Senor Cardgage. He took that name, as well, because he admired him just that much. Strong Bad then brought him to Free Country USA from that dimension in "alternate universe", and he just never left. The only times he was ever been interacting with the other characters between those two Emails were in Easter eggs and "Senorial Day," and all of those could easily have been flash-forwards. It was only afterwards that we've seen him interacting with the characters in the Emails proper. As for why he's gradually turning into more and more of a Homsar-esque Cloudcuckoolander? Side effect of interdimensional travel, of course!

The King of Town is the Composer of Free Country, USA.
He's the king. Of a town. Isn't that the job of a Composer? Knowing that Strong Sad willed himself to death, it's entirely possible that KOT is running a Game, but he's letting the dead walk with the living and screwing up other rules because he really just cares more about eating butter than running the Game properly. Of course, it follows that the Poopsmith is the Conductor. The Producer then has to be either Homsar or The Cheat.

Marzipan and Homestar will break up for the final time.
They break up and get back together once every month...once every EPISODE. He calls her "hey, stupid" by ACCIDENT, and she has gone out on 2 dates WHILE STILL BEING HIS GIRLFRIEND. ONE OF SAID DATES WAS WITH THE CHEAT. Eventually, they will realize they have nothing in common. Then, in a true moment of fangirl-dream-fulfillment, Marzipan will realize she was looking for someone all along who had athletic and semi-musical talents like Homestar, but was willing to be submissive to her every whim, and we will witness the formation of a couple between her and Coach Z. Because we can dream.

None of the characters are mutants, the whole world is like them.
Free Country, USA's inhabitants are in no way deformed, they exist in an alternate universe from Earth where all people have a unique body structure.

It's actually Marzipan who's imagining the whole thing.
Going with the theories farther up, it actually seems more likely that Marzipan is the one making this up, setting it in an imaginary world where she appears as a self insert (possibly older than she really is, if her theories about dating are any indication). She is the only one who seems to realize that there's a fourth wall, and occasionally breaks it. This would also explain why most of Strong Bad's technology is so old, as she says herself that she's not familiar with modern computer technology, and if she was in the real world she thus couldn't imagine it.

Homeschool Winner was kidnapped by the Unguraits...
...Who are currently hiding in Prance. The HSW-like skull from "buried" is actually his father's, who was lynched by the Unguraits a long time ago.

Bubs is an Ungurait.
Nothing to support this except that they're both greedy and they look kinda similar. Compare this with this.

Homsar is Scotty Titi.
Strong Bad's imaginary friend never killed Scotty Titi- since his first appearance Homsar has survived attempts on his life. Instead, Scotty Titi mearly evolved and took physical form as Homsar. Not only do they both have reality-bending abilities, they both look similar.

Everything that happens is inside the imagination of two brothers named Mike and Matt Chapman.
Bet ya didn't see that one coming.
 * Nah. Too unbeleivable.

Strong Sad owns a Death Note.
Just watch "Doomy Tales of the Macabre" and tell me I'm wrong. I dares ya.
 * So who's his shinigami then? Homsar?
 * Nah, he uses his Note on Homsar, so it can't be. Possibly Scotty Titi.
 * But they come back to life...
 * Maybe its a variant called a Doom Note, which allows for you to inflict a "doom", which here means any unpleasant happening, lethal or not, as long as you write in rhyme. (Also, I now have a mental picture of Strong Bad with a Death Note, shouting "DELETED!" every time he writes a name.)
 * ...or maybe someone has a Life Note.

Marzipan is what shattered the childhood friendship between Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, and Strong Sad.
Things were different in the childhood years of the gang. Strong Bad was friendlier, Strong Sad was happier, and Homestar was...well, he was still Homestar, but some things never change. Brotherly love ran strong between SB and SS, and they enjoyed nothing more than having Homestar over to play. Until one day, a new kid moves into town - a girl. Her name is Marzipan, and she's the most beautiful thing the trio had ever seen. All three instantly fell madly in love with her - child-love, but love nonetheless. The friends began to compete, fiercely but sportingly, each one vying for her affections. But once the dust settled, Marzipan eventually chose Homestar as her official boyfriend. Shunned by their one true love, Strong Bad grew more abrasive and hateful, and Strong Sad simply tumbled down the endless stairwell of depression, both unable to cope with the gaping hole left in their childhood hearts. And it's been downhill ever since.
 * Practically canon. Think about it. All of them were shown as kids at least once before (well, Homestar was somehow older as a kid than he is now), but not Marzipan. In the secret toon, The Secrets That I Keep, it shows that Strongs Bad and Sad were best friends as kids. Then, the tragic day came. Eventually, Homestar learned this about Marzipan and that explains their strained relationship, and why recently the three friends seem to reconcile. Of course, between then Strong Bad became a murderous (email "homsar") axe happy (email "your friends") and violent prone (email "origins") punk, Homestar became a ditsy weirdo and Strong Sad has until recently become incredibly depressed. That would make a good SB Email. We should send this idea to them.


 * By the way, I expected Wild Mass Guessing, not Wild Mass Depressing.


 * Strong Mad may also be involved. S Bemail 202 revealed, "G Ii I Rr L Ls Ar E Conf Uuuu S In G!" This may be a hint at Strong Mad's attempt at romance. Also, he has left a message at Marzipan's saying "MARRY ME!" Of course, his naivete allowed him to shrug the incident off and continue to be friends with everybody involved.

The confusion over Homestar's lack of pants stems from Total Load abuse.
Two pieces of evidence point to this: Coincidence? I think not.
 * In sbemail 150, Homestar is shown making a Real Fruit Smoothie containing Total Load.
 * In Homestar Ruiner, Strong Bad finds out that Total Load "May cause mysterious pants issues."

Trogdor is a Time Lord.

 * No, really? I never, ever would have guessed someone would post this.
 * His regenerations? The S is for Sucks Dragon, a man, a Dragon-Man, and finally the Just A Dragon form we consider Trogdor.

The Cheat created Firebert.
The Cheat Commando creators held a sweepstakes in which the winner would have their character made into an action figure, and The Cheat entered and won. Later, when the cartoon was being created, he applied for the role of Firebert's voice actor and got the part.
 * Creating a character for your favorite toy line and then voicing that character in the cartoon adaptation; The Cheat is living every fanboy's dream.
 * The Cheat, for all intents and purposes, is Firebert.

In Bone, Fone Bone went back to Thorn after the epilogue. Homestar and Homsar are their children

 * Let this be a warning to all fans of Interspecies Romance stories.

Free Country, USA is really a Freehold and all the characters have high Wyld.

 * All the characters escaped at around the same time, and set up Free Country USA as a freehold. Homestar is a member of the Spring Court, Strong Bad and Strong Mad are members of the Summer Court, Bubs is either a member of the Autumn Court or a Goblin Market merchant, and Strong Sad is a member of the Winter Court. Homsar and Coach Z have the highest Wyld, and might turn into True Fae at any moment, which is why everyone hates them.

Mama Strong works in and/or is making a killing gambling in Las Vegas
She sends her sons money and makes regular visits, but otherwise she's either too busy or simply making too much money to come home full-time.

Strong Sad is not a brother, but a stepbrother to the other Brothers Strong
It could partially explain why he gets picked on so much.

There are no updates because the events of Pom Pom's Eleven are taking place right now.
Homeschool Winner really did shut down the site, and

Homsar is really Dr. Manhattan
At the end of Watchmen, Dr. Manhattan leaves earth to create life somewhere else. He created all of the beings in the world of Free Country, USA and decided to live among them as a guardian. He chooses a non-threatening form to take where he can watch over his creations without them knowing. This ties in with the theory that Homsar is God, and explains his seemingly limitless power over time and space, as well as his ability to duplicate himself.

Xeriouxly Forxe is the end
The show was always kind of a parody/homage to cartoons and culture of the 80's, in this cartoon the 90's begins, and thus the series is over. It also came out right around the new decade begun, in 2010, which is also around 10 years after the first toon was created. Okay it's unlikely that this was on purpose since there was no notification or anything, but it works well, and there still hasn't been anything actual content since then except a new main page with the Xeriously Forxe characters.

Homestar's arms aren't the only thing of his that's invisible
Wink wink nudge nudge. Besides, this WMG page is getting kinda depressing, and I figured I'd lighten it up a bit.
 * and the rest of the fanbase thanks you for that.

The real reason for the lack of updates since late 2009...
Normally, the Halloween Episodes don't have much of an effect on the series' Loose Canon; if they did, Homestar would still be stuck in the Horrible Painting after Jibblies 2. Unfortunately, whatever the Brothers Chaps put in for that cartoon they forgot to do for the 2009 episode. That's right. Strong Sad actually doomed everyone. The Cheat is eaten, Homestar was transformed into a macrame hanging on a seventies basement wall and into Coach Z at the same time, the King of Town has drowned, both Pom Pom and the Poopsmith are dead, etc. The Brothers Chaps are currently working to correct all of Strong Sad's lethal errors, which takes longer than usual corrections to the canon; their message on their FeedBurner page that their family is having a new kid is a subtle way of annoucing they're trying to extract what's left of The Cheat from Strong Mad's gut.
 * Given there's no Halloween toon for the first time in a decade, I'm going to say that's correct. Except its more of a Rocks Fall Everyone Dies than a Total Party Kill.

The Poopsmith has no sense of smell.
Which is why he can do his job. He probably lost it in an accident or something. (Yes, that can happen).
 * Heck, I know a guy who was born without a sense of smell. I totally buy this one.
 * It's a real medical condition; it's called anosmia. In fact, Damon Kronski had it Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox

Free Country USA is a micronation.
This would explain the tiny population and lack of any (competent) law enforcement or public services. Also why Bubs is the only shop/internet provider/everything else.

Stinkoman 20X6 is The Guy
And 1up would be The Kid. Why? Because of this dialogue? "1up: Hey Stinkoman! Everybody says you're the guy, but I Wanna Be the Guy too!

Stinkoman: No way, you're just a kid! Maybe when you're older."


 * Where'd his arms go?
 * They're really more like giant cherries...

Senor Cardgage is not crazy, or at least not as crazy as he seems
He's just speaking the same language as Homsar.

"The" is a common proper name in the Homestar Runner universe.
Hence characters like The Cheat, The Poopsmith, The Ugly One and The Homestar Runner.

On Homsar's legitimate menu page...
"James" is not a mispronunciation of games. It's a reference to The Angry Video Game Nerd.
 * Problem: AVGN started in 2004. The menu page was released a year earlier.

Homsar is Old Timey Homestar

 * They certainly look a bit alike, except for the hat of course.

There was once a fourth Brother Strong: Strong Glad
He was the oldest Brother Strong and he ran away to find his fortune. Or he met an unsavory end.
 * "Strong Glad" has been mentioned, but only as an old, scrapped version of Strong Sad.
 * There are several fan characters named Strong Glad, though a good deal of them are female.

We'll know when The Brothers Chaps have come back for good...
...when they start updating the weeklies (Sketchbook, Weekly Fanstuff, Quote of the Week) again.

The whole thing is a Paranoia game
This even fits with other theories.
 * Infrared: Strong Sad
 * Red: Homestar, Strong Bad, and the King of Town
 * Orange: Bubs
 * Yellow: Pom Pom, The Cheat (both registered mutants)
 * Green: Coach Z (beyond his six pack, but has enough credits so they aren't too mutated, but he can't pay his electric)
 * Blue: Homsar (he's also on his 60-somethingth clone)
 * Indigo: Strong Mad
 * Violet: Marzipan (and probably about to be promoted)
 * Ultraviolet High Programmer: Homeschool Winner.

Virus and the Lappy were Friend Computer exerting direct influence over the Free Country USA experiment. Pom Pom got an extra clone for punishing Strong Bad's treasonous attempt to pop him.

Homestar is not wearing long pants, nor does he have blue soles glued to his feet
He's simply wearing the highest high-top sneakers IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLDDD.

Homsar is an alien
In addition to his strange behavior and language, Homsar was originally a misspelling of Homestar, and the two letters missing are E and T. Is it coming to you now?

The Poopsmith did not take a vow of silence, but is speaking a different language
It is a strange language that sounds like silence to those who don't understand it. Only The King of Town understands it, and the vow of silence" is a cover-up story. The Poopsmith was saying some nasty things to The King of Town, and since he is somewhat of a Bad Liar, he knew that all the others would want him to translate what The Poopsmith says. He decided to tell everyone The Poopsmith took a vow of silence so he wouldn't have a bunch of translating requests. The King of Town got lucky this time around, because everybody believed him. The Poopsmith is still mad at The King of Town about the incident to this day, but he has gotten so used to the fact, that he eventually just stopped talking completely. Also, he may have stopped cause he felt bad for nobody believing The King of Town, so he decided to help make one of his lies true.

Bubs really was killed off at the end of Sample of Style
In the next cartoon, Virus, the effects of The Virus included Bubs coming Back From the Dead. Now, this would've been as temporary as The Virus' other effects, but Bubs being Bubs, he managed to bargain his way into something resembling an Equivalent Exchange--he shotgunned the Compy, and consequently was allowed to come Back From the Dead for real.

Homestar is an anthropomorphic marshmallow.
I heard this theory from one of my friends a while back, and I've always liked it. Given the strange significance marshmallows seem to have in Homestar Runner, especially in some of the earlier Toons (Marshmallow's Last Stand, Fluffy Puff Commercial, the Homestar Talker saying "Maawshmawwow!"), it makes sense that maybe Homestar, being the puffy, white, cylindrical guy he is, is a walking, talking, living version of his Trademark Favorite Food. Of course, that opens up a whole new can of worms...

Sickly Sam and the Old-Timey Strong Sad from Main Page 10 are the same person.
For those who don't know, Main Page 10 predates Parnsips-a-Plenty, so the original Old-Timey Strong Sad design was likely scrapped in favor of Sickly Sam. Sickly Sam has constantly been implied to be undead. Old-Timey Strong Sad from the main page is shot out of a cannon... that would have killed him, right?

Eh! Steve! is a fugitive..,
..and he's running from the Wheelchair, who is the local cop in Sweet Cuppin' Cakes land.

Homsar's bowler cap is actually some creature that is brainwashing him.
The bowler cap creature is usually resting, but still holds it's powers. Homsar sometimes tries to break free from the bowler cap creature by talking (so he can startle it), but since he is being brainwashed, his thought are all jumbled, and the bowler cap creature goes right back to his head.
 * So it's some kind of Cloaker?

None of the Sweet Cuppin' Cakes characters are from Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land.
They are from all different places, and they were brought together by being misfits and outcasts. Specifically:
 * Sherlock came from a race of mighty hunters, but he couldn't hunt to save his life. He chases the Worm because he believes that catching it will make him not be a misfit anymore, and he'll be able to go home.
 * The Wheelchair used to be a normal wheelchair in a junkyard in Eh! Steve!'s world. Eh! Steve! was smashing it up with a pipe when they both got transported to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land, rendering the Wheelchair able to talk, and Eh! Steve! only able to say his name.
 * Keyboard Strong Bad is exactly like Strong Bad in every way, including personality and history, except he has a keyboard for a head.
 * Ready For Primetime came to life in a universe where all the other haircuts Strong Bad designed lived, because everything Strong Bad creates comes to life. The other haircuts agreed that Strong Bad got a little carried away with Ready for Primetime, and was often insulted for his appearance.

Pom Pom's profession is..
...you know what, I can't even bear to say it. But I'm not talking about his filming, nor his athletic career, and certainly not the Big Cheese. I'm talking about what he does in his private life. Think about it: he seems to have a lot of money, he can obviously handle himself in a fight, and, most importantly, he has a sizeable group of attractive ladies readily available. It is almost as if he "owns" them, if you catch my drift. ""Wow, Pom Pom. Did you know that lady? Why'd she give you a hundred bucks? All's I got was this danged Bit O' Honey.""

The site had to end because of Homsar's death in A Decemberween Mackeral.
Now, we all know that every now and then, Homsar dies, only to always come back good as new in the next cartoon. But remember the South Park episode where Kenny died...for real? That's what happened here. There was only one cartoon after it, and despite it being Halloween-ish, it didn't have Homsar.
 * An alternate theory: All Homsar deaths prior to this one were him being crushed by very large objects. However, he was so dense and reality bending, he survived it every time. However, since this time, he died for no reason, he could not survive it, forcing the site to end.
 * Not to burst your bubble, but... there's a couple problems with that theory. First of all, a Decemberween Mackerel isn't the last 'toon so far. Which Ween Costumes came after (Homsar wasn't in it, but this was likely a coincidence). Second of all, Homsar didn't die. He was dying. He wasn't dying for no reason, either; he was dying because he was left to starve in the cold winter.
 * Nah, they found him in time and rushed him to the hospital, Marzipan got him some more flowers, and the status quo was restored. Besides, even if he did die, they could just replace him and we'd never know the difference; they've had, like, twelve King of Towns, you know.

If she'd actually made it out of the sketchbook phase, Folly from "Why Come Only One Girl" would have been the female equivalent of Homsar
Just look at that jaw, that wide-open mouth, and that blank expression. That just screams "Girl Homsar". Whether-or-not she would've actually been related to Homsar (sister? cousin? time-traveling descendant? wife?) is another matter altogether.

Halloween Costumes '12
When updates begin anew, the Brothers Chaps will pay tribute to the series that have come up recently, which are up their alley. Particularly Adventure Time and The Aquabats. Possibly MLP and someone from Skyward Sword.

The Cheat can speak perfect English
He just doesn't because he's kind of a jerk. (He does speak English in his "Powered by the Cheat" cartoons, though.) Luckily, Free Country USA is bilingual and everybody else understands his language.

Cartoon Network has picked up new episodes of Homestar Runner
Because, c'mon: the Radar-dodging yet still kid-friendly brand of humor would fit right in with Adventure Time. In addition, Adult Swim tried to make a deal with the Brothers Chaps a few years ago, but they probably declined out of the fear that Adult Swims execs would make it too adult like Spike TV execuas did with Ren and Stimpy. Besides, it's not like Cartoon Network has an aversion to crappy Flash cartoons, so why not pick up a genuinely good Flash cartoon for once?
 * TBC have actually turned down an offer for an H*R TV series. Twice. Besides, a good portion of Homestar Runner's humor is '80s and early '90s pop culture references (which aren't always subtle) and those probably wouldn't appeal to the childrens very well. Not to mention that H*R has always been a Cult Classic, and if it got more mainstream, it could gain the potential to bring out the more... disturbing parts of the fandom.