Naruto Veangance Revelaitons/Characters

A list of characters in Naruto Veangance Revelaitons.

Note: While this is a Self-Insert Fic and the author frequently complains about his life in the author's notes (sometimes letting it influence the story), a real life section would be just asking for a Flame War.

Ronan Beelzub (Beelzebub?)
The main character, who recently moved to the village of Konohagakure. From there, he proceeds to dominate the story, having sex with many female characters and becoming King of the ninjas.

""YEAH YEAH GIRL WAN FUCK U HRD TIGHT LITTLE PUSSY MY DICKS HARD!""
 * Always Save the Girl: Takes this to its natural conclusion when.
 * Anti-Hero: Type IV or V
 * Author Avatar: To the point where characters sometimes refer to him by the author's first name
 * Bastard Boyfriend: Repeatedly throws around terms such as "bitch," "slut," "whore" and "cunt" toward the women he has sex with, abuses them and considers them (except for Sakura) expendable.
 * Berserk Button: Anything Jake doesn't like.
 * Bigger Is Better in Bed: Has a penis that is anywhere from two to ''45' feet long. (Granted, the latter is supposedly a typographical error, but Jake's correction indicates that Ronan's penis is the ridiculously large four feet long).
 * Boring Invincible Hero: The only questionable part is the "hero".
 * Breath Weapon: His Blue-Eyes White Dragon form can breathe fire.
 * But Now I Must Go:.
 * The Chosen One: First to defeat Orochimaru, and later to destroy the world.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: Ronan masturbates to a picture of Sakura during the search for her, angering Sasuke. He later masturbates to Sakura getting raped by Taliana.
 * Disproportionate Retribution: Hands down death sentences for liking modern music, but commutes them to life imprisonment because the author had some complaints.
 * Dude, She's Like, in a Coma: Has sex with Sakura when she's unconscious after the first time he rescues her
 * Easily Forgiven: Gets off without consequences for virtually everything, but after, Sakura asks why, and immediately understands after he says he loves her and Taliana more.
 * Establishing Character Moment: Within the narration, comparing his hair to Justin Bieber before going off on a tangent about how much he and modern music suck. In the story, curb-stomping Orochimaru when all of Team 7 fails
 * Even Evil Has Standards: His refusal to allow the Council to kill homosexuals despite not liking gay men comes off as this.
 * Eye Beams
 * Eye Scream:.
 * Fake Defector:
 * Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: Does this to Sakura, Atni when they become hysterical over his plan to serve as a Fake Defector, but this comes off as closer to physical abuse than most examples of the trope.
 * Glowing Eyes:.
 * Groin Attack: Launches one on Madara but avoids hitting him in the balls because he doesn't want to be seen as a homosexual.
 * Inverted when he uses his penis to make a Megaton Punch against Taliana.
 * Heroes Prefer Swords: Has a katana with his name on it, and later gets the Sword of Ukijamaya.
 * Hollywood Atheist
 * Idiot Hero
 * Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons: His jutsus often involve dragons
 * Informed Ability: He's said to be a great musician, but the parts of his songs that are shown are (for lack of a better word) terrible.
 * Informed Ability: He's said to be a great musician, but the parts of his songs that are shown are (for lack of a better word) terrible.

""AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH MY DICK IS LIKE A BIG FAT ROCKET AND UR PUSSYS LIKE A HOLE AND I FUCK U HARD AND IV GOT A HUGE POLE""

""FICKING SLUT U UGLY WHORE U HURT MY HEART U FUCKING BITCH JUST DIE!Q""

""FUCK YEAH SUCK MY DICK FUCKING WHORE MMM MMM YEAH I WANT MORE!""


 * Informed Flaw: The mole on his face and his alleged inability to do housework are supposedly proof that he's not perfect.
 * "It's Not Rape If You Enjoyed It": His typical philosophy.
 * Jerkass: Is abusive and hypocritical towards his girlfriends, intolerant of other people's opinions, and is willing to injure people for looking at him wrong.
 * Karma Houdini:
 * Kavorka Man: Though it's really his personality that makes him ugly.
 * Kick the Son of a Bitch: Killing a judge who turns out to be evil and corrupt after he fails to get a divorce from Taliana. He also seems to go into this trope from the author's perspective when, while working for Madara, he kills Benji.
 * Lolicon: Has been shown to be into this as well.
 * Manly Tears: in Chapter 67.
 * Men Can't Keep House: One of two so-called "flaws" he is given, the other being the mole on his face.
 * Mood Swinger
 * Moral Myopia: Quite a bit of it. Even during the sex scenes, he doesn't care when what he's doing is painful to Sakura, but yells at her when she does something he doesn't like.
 * Off with His Head:.
 * Oh My Dawkins
 * Only Mostly Dead:
 * Pointless Band-Aid: In chapter 55, he gets one on the side of his face, which Sakura thinks is sexy. Apparently, he's always had the bandaid there - he just never bothered to mention it before.... or since.
 * Politically Incorrect Hero: He's sexist, hates religion, dislikes homosexuals and even people who don't share his taste in music.
 * Rain, Rain, Go Away: Hates the rain.
 * Really Gets Around: Had sex with all the girls in his home town.
 * Sex Is Good: According to Ronan.
 * Sizeshifter: Can make himself grow.
 * Skinship Grope: Does this to Enti.
 * Traitor Shot:
 * Unexplained Recovery:.
 * Urine Trouble: Sometimes urinates on his defeated enemies.
 * Wave Motion Gun: His beams of blue light.
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * The Worf Effect: Suffers more defeats as the story goes on as part of the author's attempts to make him seem more believable.
 * Would Hit a Girl:.
 * X Meets Y: Ronan describes his band as sounding "like a cross between prince and led zepplin and bon jovi"
 * Your Cheating Heart: Regularly cheats on Sakura and never gets called out for it.
 * You Monster!: Says this to Madara as he is
 * You Monster!: Says this to Madara as he is

Naruto
The former main character of the series, who spends much of his time whining about how Ronan is better than he is. .


 * Crazy Jealous Guy: Angry about Ronan getting together with his "GF", Sakura along with him being better than him in several other regards.
 * Demoted to Extra
 * Disney Villain Death:
 * Driven by Envy: Of Ronan.
 * : The Wave Country arc is referenced in this fic, along with some of the heroic deeds Naruto did.
 * Humongous Mecha:
 * Ungrateful Bastard: Supposedly, as he, except this never actually happened;.
 * : The Wave Country arc is referenced in this fic, along with some of the heroic deeds Naruto did.
 * Humongous Mecha:
 * Ungrateful Bastard: Supposedly, as he, except this never actually happened;.
 * Ungrateful Bastard: Supposedly, as he, except this never actually happened;.

Sakura
Ronan's girlfriend and eventual wife. She goes along with everything he does, no matter how much she suffers as a result. She has been reduced from a (arguably) competent fighter to someone who can't get up by herself if she falls. She is also the mother of Mandy, and Taliana was cloned from her.

"""
 * Absurdly Youthful Mother: According to Word of God, 13 at the start and 16 at the end, and she still gets pregnant and gives birth..
 * Anti-Hero: Being complicit in Ronan's misdeeds makes her Type IV at best.
 * Berserk Button: Anyone speaking ill of Ronan.
 * : In Chapter 40,.
 * Break the Cutie:.
 * Buxom Is Better: Why she is constantly described as having double K/L/M/however-big-jake-wants breasts here, despite her A-Cup Angst in canon.
 * : In Chapter 29
 * Chickification: Plays the passive girl that does whatever Ronan tells her to and puts up with mistreatment. She also goes from canonically starting out weak and arguably becoming quite competent, to being completely helpless almost from the get-go.
 * Damsel in Distress: Has no combat skill whatsoever and gets kidnapped on a regular basis..
 * Extreme Doormat
 * Gasshole: Played for Fan Service.
 * Hysterical Woman: Is frequently up in arms over the slightest of happenings.
 * Love Martyr: When Ronan accuses her of cheating, she.
 * Megaton Punch:.
 * Mood Swinger
 * Neutral Female: Cries and holds on to Ronan as he fights and defeats their enemies.
 * No-Holds-Barred Beatdown:.
 * Not So Harmless:, and.
 * OOC Is Serious Business:.
 * Precision F-Strike:, combined with This Is Sparta.
 * Put on a Bus:.
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
 * OOC Is Serious Business:.
 * Precision F-Strike:, combined with This Is Sparta.
 * Put on a Bus:.
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech:


 * Shallow Love Interest
 * Tears of Joy:.
 * Teen Pregnancy:
 * Had Mandy as a teenager.
 * : Chapter 32
 * Your Cheating Heart: Cheats on Ronan in Chapter 22 out of a need to have sex.
 * Sympathetic Adulterer. Possibly. She cheats merely out of a desire for sex, yet the disproportionate (albeit self-inflicted) punishment she underwent, the hypocrisy in Ronan casting blame on her and Ronan's unlikeability can paint her as this.
 * Sympathetic Adulterer. Possibly. She cheats merely out of a desire for sex, yet the disproportionate (albeit self-inflicted) punishment she underwent, the hypocrisy in Ronan casting blame on her and Ronan's unlikeability can paint her as this.

Sasuke
Part of Team 7. He is apparently killed when the temple explodes,.

""wtf??? how can u b asexu???? al guys liv sex DUH! mosg irls 2 i bet u jst need 2 fuk som1 then ull b good""
 * Asexual: Mentioned to be as such, to which Ronan responds with:


 * Breath Weapon:
 * Cool Train: He in a train that looks like a snake.
 * Fat Bastard: Is constantly described as a "ugly fat guy" after
 * Kill It with Fire:
 * Satellite Character: Described as being Sakura's friend at first.
 * Scaled Up:
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * Satellite Character: Described as being Sakura's friend at first.
 * Scaled Up:
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * Weaksauce Weakness:

Kakashi
Part of Team 7. He is apparently killed when the temple explodes.


 * Big Damn Heroes:
 * The Lancer:
 * Mistaken for Gay: While sucking up to Ronan over his performance in having sex with Mei, Ronan wonders if he's in love with him, and Kakashi denies this.
 * Satellite Character: Described as Sakura's friend.
 * We Are Team Cannon Fodder: Completely useless in battle against any named characters, and even loses against some Mooks.
 * The Lancer:
 * Mistaken for Gay: While sucking up to Ronan over his performance in having sex with Mei, Ronan wonders if he's in love with him, and Kakashi denies this.
 * Satellite Character: Described as Sakura's friend.
 * We Are Team Cannon Fodder: Completely useless in battle against any named characters, and even loses against some Mooks.
 * We Are Team Cannon Fodder: Completely useless in battle against any named characters, and even loses against some Mooks.

Sakura
See Team 7

Mandy Waterfall
Ronan and Sakura's daughter/clone, who grows up almost instantly and becomes one of the girls he has sex with.


 * Parental Incest: With both her parents. The author claims that it's not incest because she's a clone, but accidentally says that it "would" be incest.
 * Plot-Relevant Age-Up: Grows up almost instantly
 * Satellite Character: To an even greater extent than the rest of the female characters. She never contributes anything to the plot, and is never seen apart from Sakura and/or Taliana.
 * Shallow Love Interest
 * Unexplained Recovery:
 * Younger Than They Look: Aged up to Sakura's age within a day or so of being born.
 * Shallow Love Interest
 * Unexplained Recovery:
 * Younger Than They Look: Aged up to Sakura's age within a day or so of being born.

Da cooger/Fiona
An older woman (hence her title) Ronan rescues from Orochimaru after taking shelter with her. She eventually gets killed by Madara, but comes back in spirit form to help Ronan.


 * Chapter 67.
 * Horrifying the Horror: For a ghost head, she gets easily scared of anything.
 * Intimate Healing: Can heal Ronan from otherwise fatal injuries by sucking his penis.
 * Killed Off for Real:
 * Ms. Exposition: Provides exposition about the prophecy.
 * No Name Given: "da cooger" is initially a term to refer to her, then seemingly becomes her name. However, she is referred to as "Fiona" in Chapter 34. Fiona was actually first mentioned in Chapter 7, but nobody would have guessed that was Da Cooger's real name due to a confusing POV switch and assumed Fiona was a different woman who was randomly thrown in.
 * Off With Her head
 * Rule of Three:
 * Satellite Character: Basically the head that comes out of Sakura's body, and someone who helps Ronan by healing him and giving him advice.
 * Spirit Advisor: Usually coming out as a spirit head or out of Sakura's body.
 * Rule of Three:
 * Satellite Character: Basically the head that comes out of Sakura's body, and someone who helps Ronan by healing him and giving him advice.
 * Spirit Advisor: Usually coming out as a spirit head or out of Sakura's body.

Taliana
A girl who is described as an evil clone of Sakura, who turns out to be. Ronan has sex with her, and briefly marries her, but after several cases of switching sides, she seemingly permanently settles on the side of evil.


 * BFG: Wields one against Ronan at the concert.
 * and :
 * Heel Face Revolving Door: She frequently alternates between trying to kill Ronan and his other girlfriends, and having sex with him, sometimes in the course of a single chapter.
 * Hell-Bent for Leather: Her usual wardrobe.
 * Katanas Are Just Better: Uses one to.
 * Mind Over Matter: Can use telekinesis on Sakura.
 * Shock and Awe: Can call down lightning to kill large groups of people.
 * Sizeshifter: Can make herself grow 12 feet tall.
 * Spare Body Parts: Is able to pop out a second pair of breasts.
 * You Have Failed Me...:
 * Sizeshifter: Can make herself grow 12 feet tall.
 * Spare Body Parts: Is able to pop out a second pair of breasts.
 * You Have Failed Me...:

The Leather Pussies
A group of 160 catgirls under Madara's command who are persuaded to defect to Ronan's side when he gives them an orgasm and enables them to break free from Madara's control.


 * Brainwashed: At first.
 * Catgirl
 * Double Standard Rape (Female on Male): The primary beneficiaries of this trope when they do it to Madara, and this also applies to when they're raping Sakura.
 * Dropped Three Bridges On Them:
 * Faux Action Girl: Introduced because the author claims he likes an Action Girl, but they only win against Madara because he's allergic to them.
 * Hell-Bent for Leather
 * Just Desserts:
 * Mauve Shirt: Becky.
 * Mooks
 * Mook Face Turn
 * Overly Long Name: Becky's real name, zoshiyanahasu-itakamajiduonisaabozai-equanidafutara.
 * Red Shirt:
 * Sex Face Turn
 * Spare Body Parts: All have SIX pairs of breasts on each torso.

Mei
The Fifth Mizukage. She's brainwashed by the Kibusi Corporation, but Ronan defeats and has sex with her.


 * Brainwashed: By the head of the Kibusi Corporation.
 * Expressive Hair: Begins to look like tentacles while she's having sex with Ronan
 * Faux Action Girl: Supposedly actually fights, but Ronan defeats her in one attack.
 * Prehensile Hair: Apparently her hair can form tentacles.
 * Redemption Equals Sex
 * Sex Face Turn

Atni
A female contestant that appears at the tournament in Chapter 50. She later becomes part of his harem and.

""hey ur hot i tink i luv u wanne be LAVAS?" (XD LMAO DO U GUYS GET DAT? BECUS TEY JST HAD DAT CHALENGE WIT TEH LAVA ?)"
 * Ass Shove: After "stretching her out", Ronan proceeds to shove his entire head into her anus.
 * Beta Couple:
 * Faux Action Girl: Supposedly good enough to survive until the final round, but we don't see any proof of it.
 * I Broke a Nail: Happens to her in the acid challenge.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun:
 * Incredibly Lame Pun:


 * Lightning Glare: At the redhead man from The Council.
 * Meganekko: Combined with...
 * Meido
 * Ms. Fanservice Is falling into more and more fanservice tropes, and she has had sex with Ronan the most frequently for the amount of time she's been in the story.
 * Redundancy Department of Redundancy: "she had a dustr 4 dusting".
 * Ring of Fire:
 * Sailor Fuku: Wears this when she's about to receive Ronan's "punishment".
 * Significant Anagram: Her name is presumably based on the author's second girlfriend, Tina.
 * Token Loli: Is described as this in Chapter 51.
 * Unexplained Recovery: but is revived after.
 * White-Haired Pretty Girl
 * Who Wears Short Shorts?

Antagonists

 * Five-Bad Band
 * Big Bad: The Council
 * The Dragon: Madara
 * The Evil Genius: The President of the Kibusi Corporation and the President of the US.
 * The Brute:
 * The Dark Chick: Taliana.

Orochimaru
The initial main antagonist. Little else is known about him.


 * Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Fades from the plot in the middle of one of his evil schemes, and only comes up when his name is mistakenly used in Madara's place, and when it is mentioned that.
 * Reptiles Are Abhorrent
 * Scaled Up: The only description of him is as a giant snake. It's unclear whether this is based off of his true form in the manga.
 * Villain Exit Stage Left: Often retreats just as Ronan gains the upper hand.
 * The Worf Effect: Defeats all of Team 7 in their first battle with him, which isn't too much of a deviation from canon, but then Ronan curb stomps him to establish himself as more powerful than him or all of Team 7 combined.
 * The Worf Effect: Defeats all of Team 7 in their first battle with him, which isn't too much of a deviation from canon, but then Ronan curb stomps him to establish himself as more powerful than him or all of Team 7 combined.

Madara
Orochimaru's replacement as main antagonist.


 * Bad Boss: Eats the slaves who fail him in his rice plantation.
 * Big Bad: At first.
 * Bond Villain Stupidity: Frequently has Ronan at his mercy, but in none of those situations does he try to kill him.
 * Cut Lex Luthor a Check: His use of slavery aside, his rice business might have been a good way to make money.
 * I Love the Dead: Has sex with da cooger's corpse.
 * I'm a Humanitarian: Eats one of the midgets who doesn't work well in the fields,
 * Katanas Are Just Better
 * Large Ham: Likes shouting and acting dramatic.
 * Tap on the Head:
 * Villains Out Shopping: Plays In Famous and Red Dead Redemption late in the fic, as a way of showing his lack of taste.
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * Wedding Smashers: Shows up at Ronan's wedding to kill him.
 * Ye Olde Butchered English: Supposedly picked up by going back in time.
 * Your Mom: He tries to use this against Ronan, but fails.
 * Your Mom: He tries to use this against Ronan, but fails.
 * Your Mom: He tries to use this against Ronan, but fails.

The Council /
Three (later retconned to two) men and two women who are in charge of the antagonists.

"Brown Haired Woman: "THIS! MEANS! WARRRRRRRRR!""
 * Batman Gambit:
 * Blondes Are Evil: The German woman.
 * Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: Sort of. Although instead of three girls, the redhead is actually a male, as well as there also being a gray-haired man.
 * The Fundamentalists: All of them are Fundamentalist Christians. Or at least we're supposed to think so.
 * Cool Chair
 * Death Glare: The redhead man gives Enti/Atni this.
 * Evil Gloating
 * Evil Is Petty:
 * Evil Laughter
 * Evil Old Folks: The gray-haired man, though his age is never exactly given.
 * Evil Redhead: One of the men.
 * Eyepatch of Power:
 * All Germans Are Nazis: The blonde woman confirms this after Ronan asks if she is a Nazi.
 * Glove Slap: Right across Ronan's face by the brunette and redhead after taking his duel glove off.
 * Gratuitous German: Sort of. In chapter 30, one of the female members of the council is retconned to have a German accent.
 * I Have Your Wife:
 * Joker Jury: Hold a trial for Ronan and Enti for having sex, but don't hand down any punishment despite convicting them.
 * The Man Behind the Man
 * No Name Given: All members are referred to by their hair color (as well as accent for the blonde woman).
 * Non-Action Big Bad: Their only defenses against Ronan are running away or putting up barriers.
 * Omniscient Council of Vagueness
 * Paper Fan of Doom: Their main choice of weapons.
 * Piss-Take Rap:
 * Plot-Based Voice Cancellation:  punishment.
 * Retcon: Used to be three men and two women, but now is two men and two women.
 * Right-Hand-Cat: They have one
 * Sex Is Evil: Stated by all the members. Well, maybe except for the two females, who concede that their lesbian sex is against Christianity, but do it anyway. Still, they all want to destroy a medallion which supposedly gives the user power to have sex for all eternity.
 * Sex Is Evil and I Am Horny: The brown haired woman and the blond German woman, as mentioned above.
 * The Smurfette Principle: Averted. Two of the members are female, but this is so they can make out/have sex with each other. Interestingly enough, the female members are the most vocal and active, and have some semblance of individuality.
 * Straw Feminist: In addition to being capitalists and Christians, they are feminists.
 * Sunglasses at Night: The gray-haired man and the blonde-haired woman.
 * Tap on the Head: The brunette woman gives Ronan this. It's somehow strong enough to knock him out.
 * This Is Sparta:
 * Sunglasses at Night: The gray-haired man and the blonde-haired woman.
 * Tap on the Head: The brunette woman gives Ronan this. It's somehow strong enough to knock him out.
 * This Is Sparta:


 * Vampire Vords: The German Woman, despite being... well, German, and not Hungarian or Eastern European as is usual for the trope.
 * Villainous Breakdown: Chapter 67 after.
 * Villains Want Mercy:
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * You Have Failed Me...:

President of the Kibusi Corporation
The president of a corporation that exists in this version of the Narutoverse.


 * Arc Villain: The most prominent antagonist while.
 * Authority Equals Asskicking:
 * Badass in a Nice Suit
 * Corrupt Corporate Executive
 * Do Not Adjust Your Set: Uses the Sibone Theater to deliver an announcement for Ronan and.

The President
The President of the United States, who works to advance the "evil capitalist agenda". It's unknown if this president is actually Barack Obama, or simply a fictional stand-in President.


 * President Evil
 * President Evil

The Seven Swordsmen of the Mist
In this version, these swordsmen serve the President of the Kibusi Corporation, who has brainwashed them and forced them to convert to Christianity. The only named members are Kisame, Raiga and Zabuza.


 * Brainwashed: The reason why Kisame is not working with Akatsuki, even though he's still on the same side as Madara.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: All of them are defeated easily, but the four unnamed ones are dispatched especially easily. Two of them even get killed by Kakashi (while he won against Zabuza in canon, he's almost completely useless here).
 * Making a Splash: All of them have water jutsus. Zabuza can even flood the stairs.
 * Punched Across the Room:
 * Red Eyes, Take Warning: Glowing Eyes.
 * Slashed Throat:

Edfred
He's a shopkeeper who doesn't like Ronan.


 * Badass Gay
 * Big Damn Heroes:
 * Camp Gay
 * Dirty Coward: The author wants him to be seen as one for not helping out against Madara.
 * Hero Antagonist: Comes off as this.
 * Jerkass: Supposedly.
 * Long Bus Trip: According to the author, he won't be appearing any more, since the author dislikes him.
 * Manly Gay: Yes, he's both. Mostly due to his flamboyant mannerisms, but simultaneous ability to kick ass.
 * Mary Sue Hunter:
 * No Indoor Voice
 * Not Worth Killing: In Chapter 31, Ronan sets up a force field so he can leave without having to fight him and Muskoka, not wanting to humiliate them by defeating them.
 * Plot Armor: Ronan beats him up but doesn't kill him, the reason for this being that Benji had paid Jake to keep the character alive, most likely knowing he'd be killed by Ronan otherwise.
 * Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: His typical way of speaking.
 * Sophisticated As Hell: When he curses.
 * What the Hell, Hero?: Frequently calls Ronan out on his actions, although as stated above, this is supposed to be seen as a bad thing.
 * X Meets Y: Is described as looking kind of like "a cross between Xander Cohen from BioShock (series) and Archie "Snake" Simpson from Degrassi" in Benji's text. Considering Jake had previously bashed Benji for liking both of these things, it's likely he used these characters to describe Edfred as a sort of Stealth Insult/Writer Revolt against Jake.

Tadashiharakumaie
An original character based off of the author's real life friend, Danny.


 * As Long as It Sounds Foreign
 * Black Best Friend: Possibly, if he is based off his inspiration.
 * Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Disappears after the Cooking Duel.
 * Mr. Exposition: Most often appears to talk about upcoming events, such as the parade and cooking duel.
 * Overly Long Name

Nanor/Ekaj

 * Beta Couple:
 * Generation Xerox:
 * Informed Ability: Supposedly inherited powers from, but is never seen using them; the only indication that he got any from the former is that he's the only character besides Ronan who consistently wins.
 * The Lancer: To Ronan in the final battle.
 * Manly Tears:
 * Plot-Relevant Age-Up: The moment he's born, he's twelve years old already.
 * Sdrawkcab Name: Of Ronan, and later the author.
 * Sudden Name Change: Changes his name to "Ekaj" in Chapter 63. It's "Jake" spelled backwards.
 * Younger Than They Look: Comes out of the womb as a 12-year-old.
 * Younger Than They Look: Comes out of the womb as a 12-year-old.

Bob
The (temporary) Host of The Hineki Kojiyoshai Show ("Hineki Kojiyoshai" supposedly meaning "DNA Tests For Whores" in Japanese, according to the narrative). Only appears in one chapter, Chapter 60.


 * AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle: Surprisingly. Even more surprising that Jake was able to properly write as such.
 * Agony of the Feet: One of the variants. When Ronan finds out he's only part the father of Ekaj, he kicks Bob in the legs out of anger.
 * Artistic License Biology: His explanation for how both Ronan and Naruto (though mostly Ronan) are Ekaj's father throws even the most rudimentary laws of biology out the window.
 * Butt Monkey: For the short time that he appears, he is subject to quite a bit of abuse from Ronan. Not that it's out of character for Ronan to do such, but still.
 * Expy: Seems to be a rather bizarre one of Maury Povich from Maury. Also may be one of Torgo.
 * Guest Host: Apparently, he's just filling in for the usual host.
 * One Chapter Wonder
 * Scary Shiny Glasses: Somewhat subverted. While it is mentioned that Bob's glasses are very shiny, he is never shown to be evil or bad in any way.

Muskoka
Edfred's boyfriend - he appears in Chapter 31, and.

""MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT HOMOSEXUAL LIKE MYSELF, BUT RATHER BISEXUAL.""
 * Awesome McCoolname: His full name is Muskoka J. Tuddrussel. Muskoka is the name of group of lakes and District Municipality in Ontario, Canada. J might be a Shout-Out to Homer Simpson's middle name, and Tuddrussel has to be a shout out to Buck Tuddrussel.
 * Bi the Way: To quote Edfred...:


 * But Not Too Bi: Only ever displays an attraction to men, but this may be due to the relatively short time in which we see him.
 * Genius Bruiser/Heroic Build: Is described as "big nd muscley" by Ronan, and he appears to be quite intelligent, like Edfred.
 * No Bisexuals: Ronan tries to apply this to him.
 * Not Worth Killing: In Chapter 31, Ronan sets up a force field so he can leave without having to fight him and Edfred, not wanting to humiliate them by defeating them.
 * Straight Bi
 * Straight Bi