Justice League (animation)/Funny

"Supergirl: What, do you go through my trash?!
 * In the episode 'Fearful Symmetry', after The Question reveals that he knows that Supergirl eats at night (here):

The Question: Please. I go through everyone's trash."

"Solomon Grundy: You're crazy.
 * Later that episode, The Question breaking into a building while singing bubblegum pop, out of tune.
 * The fact he just throws a potted plant through the door makes this scene priceless.
 * In "Injustice for All":
 * "Duck!.... Tried to warn 'im."
 * "This program was made possible by a grant from the Ultra-Humanite and viewers like you."
 * The episodes have THE JOKER in them. Of course they're a riot. From his entrance to his final line.

Joker: [kicks the doors open from off screen] AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? It's done wonders for me!"

""You're dethpicable!""
 * After Batman punches him and before passing out he says with a familiar lisp:

"Flash: Dibs on the green one!
 * In "Paradise Lost", our heroes investigate Felix Faust's home, where Flash accidentally sets off a death-beam scepter, and Batman chastises him for messing with the relics. Quick cut to Superman, Wonder Woman, and J'onn immediately putting some relics back.
 * Flash and J'onn pick their players for a game of "Brawlin' Bots" ("The Ties That Bind"):

J'onn: I wanted the green one..."

"Kalibak: I'm going to grind you into paste!
 * During an Electric Torture sequence in the episode 'Question Everything', The Question resists interrogation by only revealing random useless facts, such as the name for those little plastic caps at the end of a shoelace. He then added on "Their true purpose is sinister."
 * This being The Question, he might have been serious.
 * "Hereafter" has some good ones from Lobo:

Lobo: Awful brave talk for a dead man.

Kalibak: I'm not dead yet.

Lobo: You're right. My watch is about ten seconds fast."

"[not ten seconds later, but close enough]

Lobo: Say it!

[Beat]

Kalibak: ...Uncle.

Lobo: I can't hear you!

Hawkgirl: He's beaten. Put. The car. Down.

Lobo: (tosses it aside) I was gonna."

""Relax, it's just a little snack." [draws out two heaping armfulls of hot dogs]."
 * "I hear she's... you know... Brazilian." (Hawkgirl, "I Am Legion")
 * Which Fire is.
 * In "The Brave and the Bold", Flash and Green Lantern are talking in front of a hot dog stand. GL admonishes Flash for wasting time. Flash's response?

"Waller: Actually, yeah. But on the off chance I was wrong...
 * Even more hilarious is the fact that it's rather accurate, considering the ridiculous number of calories Flash would have to eat daily in order to maintain Super Speed.
 * AND he stuck GL with the bill!
 * Red Tornado's one line in "This Little Piggy"...
 * Two from "Panic in the Sky". Batman tries to destroy Lex's robot with an exploding batarang. Lex catches it in midair, and deadpans "That... was uncalled for." And then hits him with a tool bench.
 * Later, Lex asks a defeated Amanda Waller if she really thought she could beat him all by herself.

(Cue the Big Seven showing up behind Luthor)

Flash: Ta-daa!"

""Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all."
 * As Batman is falling from his plane, completely deadpan. ("Dark Heart")

[just seconds before he hits the ground]

"Now would be good.""

"Vandal Savage: [while counting off each with his fingers] Destroying the Justice League, building a rail gun, assuming total dominion over the Earth."
 * Vandal Savage's casual reply when asked what he's doing in "Maid of Honor" Pt. 2:

"Superman: You're insane.
 * A few more, from "Hereafter":

Vandal Savage: True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house?

Superman: [stares at him]

Vandal Savage: Like you've got something better to do."

"Vandal Savage: Anyway, I've got issues - what with my destroying the Earth and all."

"Superman: Batman! It's really you! [bear hug]
 * At the end of "The Savage Time" part 3:

Batman: [deadpan] Am I missing something?"

"Batman: I'm gonna need a longer grapple.
 * "Twilight" Parts 1 and 2 feature some of the best Batman one-liners around. The producers even joke about this fact during the commentary because they were just on a roll with his character during those episodes. For instance, there's a moment where Bruce and Diana first see the city where the "gods" live and this happens:

[Wonder Woman stares at him in shock]"

"Batman: Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me real hard!"
 * Or when he and Wonder Woman have to leap into the Boom Tube to help Orion and Superman fight Darkseid:

"Clayface: You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did you?
 * "The Secret Society" also has some Badass Batman moments, in a scene where he confronts one of his old foes:

Batman: Wish I'd thought of that. [Justice League breaks through the wall] Oh Wait, I did."

"Clayface: [after his masquerade as the Flash is blown] What gave me away?
 * As well as this line:

Batman: You overplayed your part, "yo"."

"Deadshot: [looks Wonder Woman up and down] ...Unless of course you can make it worth my while.
 * And just before that, Batman calmly tazes "Flash" and explains, "The real Flash would have been able to dodge that." He's one step ahead of Hagen the whole time.
 * "The Enemy Below" featured one of the best off-screen Batman intimidations ever:

Batman: [grabs him] I'll take it from here. [drags Deadshot away]

Deadshot: You can't scare me, Batman.

Batman: Let me give you one piece of advice... [says something to him as the camera pulls away]

Deadshot: [in a panic] Ok! Ok! I'll tell!

Wonder Woman: What did he say?

Superman: You DON'T wanna know..."

"Superman: [jacks Copperhead up against the wall] Copperhead... When are you gonna get some sense and tell me where Luthor is?
 * What did he say? According to Word of God it's
 * Pretty much all of "Injustice for All", but there's one part that always has this troper in stitches:

Copperhead: Ooh. This must be the part where I get SO scared, I spill my guts.

Superman: I'm warning you...

Copperhead: What're you gonna do, Boy Scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie?

[later, as Copperhead is taken back to his cell]

Superman: [frustrated] How does Batman do it?"

"Copperhead: It was judgement day! And we got sent to the bad place! THE BAD PLACE!!!"
 * Copperhead, poor poor Copperhead. He seemed so confident in "Injustice for All". When we see him later? Not so much.

"Tala: "Come rest in here, darling."
 * To be fair to poor Copperhead, the entire adult population of Earth was suddenly transported to a bizarre dimension with no warning. Not that this makes his delivery any less funny.
 * "Aha! As I suspected: thirty-two flavors!" (The Question, "Grudge Match")
 * Batman's Darkest Secret. Batman really does make everything funnier! ("This Little Piggy")
 * Lex Luthor is so evil, he doesn't even wash his hands. ("The Great Brain Robbery")
 * And from the same episode:

(Tala drags Lex into a room)

Lex : "Hey! That's not restful.""

"The Flash: " Well, if nothing else, I can find out the Flash's secret identity. ''[takes off mask]]' ...I have no idea who this is."|undefined"
 * The following scene implies that  is better in bed than Luthor. Makes for an awesome Brick Joke at the end when Tala is dissapointed that Lex returns to his body.
 * "My fellow bad-guys..."
 * Another great moment

"Bizarro: "Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro mommy?""
 * Damnit, "The Great Brain Robbery" IS one episode-length CMOF. Especially because it cements the Super Friends-ish flavor that the final season had for most of its duration, though in a much better way than Hanna-Barbera used to do. The icing on the cake has to go to, inadvertently discovering Green Lantern's weakness. I'm not telling this one, it must be seen to be believed. Here.
 * One more from the same episode, this one from Bizarro, questioning Flash in Luthor's body:

"[To Green Lantern, after describing an encounter with Solovar] "Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed-dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.""
 * Hawkgirl, after a fair bit of expository dialogue between Luthor/Brainiac and Superman: "Less talking, more hitting!" ("Divided We Fall")
 * Batman storming a Starbucks to order coffee. ("Only a Dream")
 * In an attempt to stay awake, he turns the radio on to some pop song and punches the Batmobile's window out for some air. Could he have rolled the window down to save glass? Yes, but not BATMAN!
 * "Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's... standing Right Behind Me, isn't she?" ("The Once and Future Thing, Part 1")
 * "But don't let that stop you. Keep digging."
 * "Flash, stop heckling the supervillain!" ("The Brave and the Bold")
 * "Getting [Bruce Wayne's] DNA was easy. He left it all over town... Not remotely what I meant." ("Epilogue")
 * "That's. Not. Helping." ("Starcrossed", pt. 3)
 * Can we just say that almost anything the Flash says or does in the DCAU is a CMoF?
 * Particularly if it has to do with Batman.
 * Or Hawkgirl.
 * Speaking of the Flash, this line from "The Brave and the Bold":

"Green Lantern: Everything's relative."
 * Imagine Batman playing good cop to his future self.

"Flash: James, you're off your meds, aren't you?
 * Superman: "Now, this boy Kara likes so much...does he have a name?" Cue distressed looks on Green Lantern and Green Arrow's faces. Just in case you don't know, said boy is . ("Far From Home")
 * The episode "Flash and Substance" is terrific, not only does it feature the aforementioned Flash and Batman, but also Orion, who is even more Comically Serious than Batman (which is saying something). And the scene where Flash interrogates the Trickster was probably the funniest thing ever on the show. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, too.

Trickster: Better off without 'em. Take 'em if I start feeling down.

Flash: You know that's not how the medicine works. You're not well!

Trickster: I'm fine. You wanna throw some darts?

Flash: No, listen, James, you're wearing the suit again.

Trickster: I am? [Looks down at costume] Well what do you know?

Flash: Here's the deal, buddy. Tell me where those guys went, and I'll come see you in the hospital. We'll play darts! The soft kind.

Trickster: Okay, they're gonna ambush you at the Flash Museum.

Flash: See? That's all we needed! [to Batman and Orion] Come on, we better get over there.

Orion: What about your enemy?

Flash: Oh, right. Dude, as soon as you finish your drink, turn yourself in.

Trickster: [raises mug] Got me again, Flash!"

"Mirror Master: Here we are, the hardest men in town and we all have something in common.
 * The Trickster is made of CMOF. Like his conversation with the other three Flash villains Rogues in that episode.

Trickster: Bilateral symmetry?"

"Orion: I can't believe you let that buffoon manipulate you. You'd never see me at one of these museum openings.
 * The following one-sided conversation between Batman and Orion in the same episode:

[Batman gives him a "you just volunteered" stare]

Orion: ...It's not black tie, is it?"

"Waitress: What'll it be, boys?
 * The continuation of the "hardest men in town" conversation above:

Captain Boomerang: Arnold Palmer.

Trickster: Cherry Cola.

Mirror Master: Decaf soy latte.

Captain Cold: Milk.

(Others stare at him]

Captain Cold: [sheepishly] My ulcer's been acting up."

"Flash: Mirror Master!
 * Flash's Insult Backfire:

Mirror Master: You're as quick as ever!

Flash: Yeah? Well, you're... You're not really all there!

Mirror Master: Oooh! Nice try! If you had another minute, you'd probably think of a decent comeback!"

"Linda Park: When we come back, I'll try to get with him... Get to him... For an interview... Are we off? Geez. He's a total babe. Like the entire track team at once. I can't believe you're not into him, Marla.
 * This dialogue:

Marla: Okay... Now you're off. [Linda slaps a paper on her face in embarrassment]"

"Steel: Gotta hand it to you, Luthor. Nobody would think to look for you here."
 * The Flash, stuck on a flying, giant, spinning boomerang, to Captain Boomerang, who was watching him on it: "I swear, when I get out of this I'm gonna find you and hurl all over you!"
 * On the run from a returning Amazo, Lex Luthor is escorted by Supergirl and Steel to his secret lab, hidden inside... a barbershop. ("The Return")

"Superman: "And the milkshakes are so thick--" [possessed] "--I need your help."
 * He then asks what's next after Luthor gets his nose hairs trimmed.
 * In "Dead Reckoning", Deadman possessed Superman mid-sentence as he discussed a fast food restaurant in Metroplis he likes, resulting in:

Wonder Woman: "That's pretty thick.""

""--you have to eat them with a spoon! ...What am I doing in Africa?""
 * When they get to Gorilla City, he possesses someone else, leaving a confused Superman behind.

"Joker: Is it just me, or is there something going on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honkin' mace? Will True Love conquer all?
 * Most of Skeets' lines in "The Greatest Story Never Told", but especially when Booster Gold starts ragging on himself and even Skeets' constant stream of encouraging sycophancy finally gives out: "I got nothin'."
 * "Wild Cards", where we get the Joker as his own twisted version of Shipper On Deck:

[raises his detonator]

Joker: Not on my show!"

"Joker: Ma'am? Ma'am? Aren't you worried?
 * Also, the Vegas casinos are emptied...except for one old woman playing the slots;

Old woman: About what? This thing's bound to pay off sooner or later.

Joker: Man, I love this town!"

"John Stewart: Enid Clinton, we've got--
 * Hal Jordan is in less than half of one episode ("The Once and Future Thing, Part II"), but still manages to get a moment in:

[The past is altered mid-sentence, resulting in Hal Jordan being the Green Lantern]

Hal Jordan: --business with your husband. [to everyone else] What? Hal Jordan. Another time shift. I'm up to speed. Carry on.

Terry: O-kay, I'm starting to get a migraine."

"Static: Make up your mind!"
 * And then when Hal Jordan changed back to John Stewart:

"Terry: It's not going to work, you don't know your way around here. A lot of things have changed.
 * A good chunk of the episode "The Once and Future Thing" could probably qualify. There's also another bit between Batman and Old Man Bruce where present-day Bats decides to go out and find information the more direct way.

Batman: Are criminals still superstitious and cowardly?

Old Bruce: Yup.

Batman: Good enough for me."

"Terry: Batman meet Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne meet Batman, or have you two met?
 * There's also when Batman meets his older self.

Both Bruce Waynes: Not now!"

"Batman: You were a little hard on the Boy Scout, don't you think?
 * This troper likes "Clash" not only for the awesome fight scenes but a couple of hilarious moments from Mr. Comically Serious himself, Batman:

Superman: I thought I was the Boy Scout.

Batman: I did too, 'til I met Captain Marvel.

Superman: Why are you--why is everyone defending him?

Batman: We like him. He's... sunny."

"Batman: What did these guys want anyway?
 * As well as this:

Superman: To take over the world. Or rob banks. I forget."

"Cecil: But how come when I make the scones, they don't got that good flavor like yours, Tony?
 * Notably, they had the dialogue before this one while they were mopping the floor with said villains.
 * Green Arrow singing his own musical theme as he charges into battle. ("To Another Shore")
 * At the beginning of "Double Date" you have two mooks waiting outside their boss's mansion, and this bit of dialogue comes up:

Tony: [smacks Cecil's head] Do I have to tell you again how you gotta add the orange zest, Cecil? You gonna make me give you the recipe again, huh? You're killing me here, Cecil! Killing me!"

"Soldier: Where's Batman?
 * Warhawk, seeing Green Lantern at the end of the "The Once and Future Thing, Part I": "Dad?"
 * "Panic in the Sky": when Lex Luthor takes control of the JL's satellite and fires its main gun at the Earth, the founding Leaguers agree to turn themselves in to the US government as a show of faith. Batman, however, decides to follow a separate lead.

Flash: Running late. The Batmobile, it lost a wheel. The Joker got away. [Beat] That's what I heard."

"Vigilante: Tingbustedhorsethievin'aliencontrolpanelwhichcan'tnobodyworkproper! [flies beneath Vixen, who is free-falling] I'M COMIN', DARLIN'! YEEEEEEE-HAW!"
 * Vigilante is ripe with Crowning Moments period (which should come to no surprise considering who voices him) but one of his funniest moments is in "Hunter's Moon" when he nabs the Thanagarian's ship in an attempt to rescue Vixen and Shayera.

"Circe: Insolent trickster! You dare to strike... [hit with a chair] You dare to strike... [hit with a table] You dare to strike... [is covered with a tablecloth, yanks it off] QUIT IT! Oh no... [slammed by a piano]"
 * Circe trying to ham it up with a big villain rant. Zatanna isn't having any of it. ("This Little Piggy")

"Green Arrow: [to Eiling] Well you wanted Superman? Now you got- [two people teleport in] ...the Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick.
 * In "Patriot Act", several of the non-superpowered League members are fighting a supersoldier (the mutated Gen. Wade Eiling) that keeps demanding that Superman come to fight him. Green Arrow, who has been requesting backup from the Watchtower throughout the whole fight, receives word that reinforcements are on the way. This leads to the following:

Speedy: [having just teleported in] Ex-partner!

Green Arrow: Speedy, we gotta' do this now?"

"Eiling: You spoiled, rich little twerp!
 * After Eiling effortlessly swats the Avenger and starts advancing:

Green Arrow: [while pelting him with arrows, including one stolen from Speedy's quiver] I think he means me.

Speedy: [likewise, deadpan] Oh. For a second, I was all mad."

"J'onn: I should be back in time for dinner. I love you too.
 * Green Lantern's exclamation on seeing Hawkgirl in a dress: "We have to... JUDAS PRIEST!" ("Shadow of the Hawk")
 * One of the final lines of all JLU, when Flash overhears Martian Manhunter on the phone: (you guessed it, "Destroyer")

Flash: These are the end times..."

"The Flash: Hey, that's a giant dinosaur!
 * Still in "Destroyer", Toyman gets surrounded by Parademons. He shoots at them with Nerf gun darts, and as the shots harmlessly bounce off, the Parademons stare in confusion... until they all explode.
 * Or this moment in the batcave in "Starcrossed", pt. 2.

Alfred: And I thought Batman was the detective."

"Etrigan: Mommy.
 * Especially funny is that Flash's dumb smile doen't go away after Alfred's sarcasm. He just seemed so genuinely proud of himself for figuring out what that dinosaur was.
 * This moment at the end of "Kid Stuff", wherein every hero is turned back into an adult. Even Etrigan. In Wonder Woman's arms.

[Wonder Woman drops him]

Etrigan: Ow."

"GL: Despero, I presume.
 * When Green Lantern is captured and brought before Despero in "Hearts and Minds":

Whole Crowd: DESPERO IS ALL!

GL: With a backup group, no less."

"Booster Gold: Energize!
 * From "The Greatest Story Never Told", apparently Booster Gold watched too much Star Trek:

Watchtower Tech: Doofus."

"Inza: It's okay. Take as many as you want.
 * The scene in "The Ties That Bind" where Flash first convinces Barda and Mr. Miracle to let him help them is this an a Crowning Moment of Funny. It's especially adorable how he punctuates it all with "Friends?"
 * Giving Barda the flower was the icing on top.
 * "Robots! I love smashing robots!"
 * In "The Terror Beyond," after Aquaman brings him to Fate's tower, Inza presents Solomon Grundy with some treats. He looks ready to eat, but actually hesitates out of politeness.

(Grundy starts pigging out)"

"Doctor Fate: I am Doctor Fate.
 * Afterwards, Doctor Fate arrives:

Grundy: (swallowing) Girl gave Grundy the cookies!"

"Deadshot: I thought he was gonna wet himself when you mentioned the Martian. He couldn't let us through fast enough.
 * In "Task Force X," after Flagg's team has gotten through Watchtower security.

Plastique: That was nothin'. I almost lost it when this bonehead set off the metal detector.

Captain Boomerang: 75 cents is 75 cents. I'm supposed to throw away money?"