Naruto/WMG/Jossed

=== This is a page for wild mass guesses from the series Naruto which have been Jossed by the series or Word of God. If a WMG on one of the open pages is Jossed, please move it here. ===

Please add new Jossed entries to the bottom of the page.

Naruto will become a Chunin or mabye a Jonin as a result of the Pain invades Konoha arc
Lets face it, Naruto just saved the entire Leaf Village by defeating Pain, if he does not get some kind of promotion it would just be stupid.
 * Given, Naruto would be lucky if he avoids being imprisoned and brainwashed after being both Kakashi and Jiraiya's pupil.
 * will most likely prevent him from leaving the village, and then send a team of his men to kill Sasuke to prevent the Cloud ninja from doing it and getting the Sharingan. Sakura may well catch word of this, and assemble a team of some of the people whom she trusts most to go after Sasuke and get to him first, possibly Lee, Ino and Kakashi. Naruto will most likely stay behind in the village to undergo a ritual to control the Nine-tailed fox (similar to Ichigo and his inner hollow in Bleach) and then go in with Yamato, Sai and Hinata after sneaking out of the village. Now that the three teams besides Team 7 each got to participate in an arc, I suspect that this arc, like Sasuke Retrieval, will involve one or two characters from each team, likely those most committed to rescuing Sasuke (not just Team 7, but also those in love with one of the members).
 * I'd bet cash money that Naruto will never be a chunin or jounin. Remember what he said at the end of the first part of the chunin exam? My money is on him making Hokage while still a genin.
 * I'd bet cash money that Naruto will never be a chunin or jounin. Remember what he said at the end of the first part of the chunin exam? My money is on him making Hokage while still a genin.

Rin died during the timeskip.
There's no other way Kakashi could have acquired the Mangekyo Sharingan. Gai's still alive, all of team 7 are still alive, Obito and Minato have been dead for quite some time - there's really no one else that Kakashi's close to. Unless, of course, Kakashi's so badass that he discovered a way to activate the Mangekyo without anyone dying on him.
 * Kakashi tells the team way, way back in the beginning that all of his friends are already dead. Rin died well before the timeskip, off screen. Chances are, the Copy Ninja simply set about.. you know.. copying the technique, once he experienced it first hand from Itachi.
 * Sharingan cannot copy bloodline limits, even if it's just a new form of a limit he already has.
 * Given how much of a Game Breaker the Sharingan is, it wouldn't surprise me if he actually could do that.
 * Perhaps he didn't need any extra pain - we've seen he still tortures himself with the past. Maybe all that was required was an extra-long session at the memorial stone and BAM! Mangekyo Sharingan!
 * Or maybe he hacked his own brain (Genjutsu on himself) to do the trick, got the "Mangekyo Sharingan" and said a safe word to reverse the raping of his own (A Mangekyo Sharingan won't disappear that way, right?).

Due to the 'Sasuke' issue, there will be a huge battle between Naruto and the Raikage.
The Raikage is adamantly determined to kill Sasuke. Naruto is determined to save Sasuke from himself and bring him home alive. Sooner or later, these two are gonna come to blows about this, and it's not gonna be pretty. We may even get to see Naruto's 5- and 7-Tailed Forms that we missed in the Pain Arc. This could be the end of the Fourth Raikage.

Or, Killer-B could jump to his brother's defense (or be ordered to), resulting in the Battle Of The Jinchuuriki.

OR, Kishimoto could decide to be a bastard and have Naruto die in said battle, and the Raikage proceeds to track down and kill Sasuke, and then Konoha responds to Naruto's murder with all-out war with the Cloud Village that quickly devolves into a free-for-all amongst the Five Nations (with Madara standing by rubbing his hands and cackling with glee at the resultant chaos), leading to utter desolation that leaves the world incapable of stopping Madara's plot. I know; really unlikely, but This Troper just likes to keep all his bases covered, no matter how improbable some possibilities are.
 * Actually, this troper could see that happening, though not as a downer ending. Naruto may not have that many mindscrew-worthy twists in it, but having Naruto fake his own death and the other nations fake a war to draw Madara out? That's definitly something that might happen.
 * Well, given Naruto's newfound determination NOT to use violence to solve problems and the Shinobi Alliance, this will not happen.

Kurenai will have twins of opposite genders
. Doesn't seem that far-fetched to me. Seems like something Kishi. would pun.
 * According to Word of God, her child will be a girl.

Madara's real plan is to fuse with the Juubi while simultaneously defeating the Sage of Six Paths via a Stable Time Loop
Firstly, I have read up to the most recent chapter. Given that, just think about this: has been shown to be a consistent liar throughout the series. Why is everybody perfectly willing to consider what he said at the ...meeting... to be true? If the plan he stated there was in fact his goal, The Juubi seems to have come out of nowhere... the Plot Hole is evident. Apparently, the Juubi came out of the ether to destroy the world and make lives miserable, and the Sage curbstomped it. Not only that, but the Juubi's body was used to create the other Tailed Beasts. The Plot Hole there is evident as well: who stopped the nine TB from destroying the world then?

Considering these two points and the entire series so far, I submit my massive, Narutoverse-altering WMG: Following Madara's defeat at the hands of the First Hokage, he for the purpose of capturing the TB, meshing them together in the temporal device known as 'Gedo Mazo', and creating a Stable Time Loop by creating and sending back the result of those combined TB, the Juubi, to fight the Sage of Six Paths. His ultimate goal is to rewrite history by creating enough TB to defeat the Sage.

This has a few assumptions lumped into it, namely that the Tailed Beasts were NOT, in fact, created at the same time. Assuming the Sage, as stated canonically, did hold the Juubi within himself and scattered the body, this would mean for ordinary Tailed Beasts that there would be nothing left of them. SAME FOR THE JUUBI. This leads, naturally, to the question of how the Tailed Beasts could be created. I submit that the Big Bad wants nothing more than to be 'complete', to be both Senju and Uchiha, and that creating a Tailed Beast allowed him to do this.

What are the Tailed Beasts? Chakra monsters. They have enormous and incredibly destructive chakras that level the ground on which they stand at the very least. My guess is that the creation of a Tailed Beast comes not from the Juubi, but from the Uchiha line which wanted, failing to be as powerful as the Senju, to be 'complete' and have the Rinnegan. To that end, they created/used a Forbidden Jutsu: Symbio Style, Grand Summoning Ascension. This technique has four parts to it:
 * The # of tails is equal to the number order of that tailed beast's creation. 2 tails = 2nd created.
 * The beast's appearance is the personification of the traits of whoever created it using SSGSA.
 * The power of each beasts is the Senju equivalent of its creator's Uchiha powers. This implies that only a person with their own Sharingan (not transplanted, but Oro's lack of knowledge about this led to his own plan concerning Sasuke).
 * The strength of the next (attempted) Tailed Beast must be higher than the previous or the attempter dies and is left to roam the earth for eternity (hence why it would be Forbidden and my explanation for how.

Since the Tailed Beasts are now at a symbiotic relationship with the Sharingan-wielder that created it, it's easy enough to understand how the Sharingan has such a hold over the Tailed Beasts. Given this, any sufficiently powerful Sharingan could control the Tailed Beasts, but the person that created it has the most control. And since the Tailed Beasts are at a symbiotic relationship with not only the Uchiha that created it, but ANY Uchiha, they continue to exist as long as the Sharingan does.

The final piece to be explained is Gedo Mazo, the vat which is intended to hold the beasts. My answers for several plot points of interest are as follows:
 * Why do the Jinchuuriki (spelling?) placed within it die? Because Gedo Mazo is a temporal machine, which is easy enough to create when . When a Tailed Beast's host is placed within it, the Tailed Beast ages X00 years into the past, at the point at which the Juubi shows up canonically. Since the hosts can't possible have been born yet, and the Tailed Beasts have at least one Uchiha still alive in the present, the hosts die and the TB remain sealed within. Gedo Mazo, according to my theory, sets the TB up to be sent into the past, but are held in storage as long as Gedo Mazo exists. Thus, once is happy with the # of TB within, they would simply smash Gedo Mazo to send the accumulated Tailed Beasts back to the point of the Juubi's origin.

Assuming, and that's a big assumption, that the above is true, then the rest becomes easy. Let's run the timeline.

1) The Sage of Six Paths battles the Juubi/Madara (9 TB total), sent from the future via Gedo Mazo, and barely wins. The Sage then does what he does canonically to the Juubi. Madara, having lost this fight, is destroyed by the Sage in his Juubi form but becomes the essence that possesses the Uchiha clan and grants it it's superiority complex / bloodlust, which leads to hundreds of years of ninja war. Madara does this hoping to create a Stable Time Loop. Seeing what the Rinnegan can do, Madara clings to life and passes on the knowledge down the Uchiha line by living inside the Sharingan.

2) One of the Uchihas, prodded by Sharingan/Madara, concocts the Forbidden Technique: Symbio Style, Grand Summoning Ascension, and uses it to create Shukaku. Unwilling to allow his own clan insights as to his power, this Uchiha uses Shukaku in battle against the superiorly-skilled Senju clan, and reclaims the possibility of victory for Uchiha. This forces the Senju clan to become better. Over time, Senju and Uchiha become so much more powerful than any other clans that the two are constantly forced to fight each other.

3) Tailed Beasts 2-8 are created in a similar fashion, with similar results following.

4) Madara Uchiha is born, and since Past-Madara/Sharingan-Madara is still alive in the Sharingan, Present Day Madara is granted enormous knowledge about Uchiha, and learns about Grand Summoning Ascension. At this point, Past-Madara/Sharingan-Madara and Present-Day/Normal-Timeline Madara are synchronized to become Complete Madara. Meanwhile, peace comes throughout the land as Uchiha and Senju finally make peace with one another. The Uchiha become a police force for the Village Hidden in the Leaf, and Hashirama is made the First Hokage. Madara wanders the land for many years, hoping to find somebody possessing the Rinnegan so he can begin his plan concerning trapping the Tailed Beasts, but finds nobody. Bitter and vengeful, Madara returns to the village and activates Symbio Style: Grand Summoning Ascension successfully in hopes of regaining Uchiha's loss of status. The Nine-Tailed Fox is born.

5) An incredibly epic battle ensues between Madara and the First, the victor being . Desperate to win and unaware of the consequences, Madara activates GSA once again. Being in no way stronger than when he first started the fight, Madara's attempt fails spectacularly, the Nine-Tails runs rampant without its master to control it, and no 10-tailed beast is formed. Hashirama calls it a day, and returns to being amazing as the First.

6) Madara, soon after realizing he's a ghost, goes wandering the world again, and realizes that he needs physical bodies to assist him in his plan. Complete Madara searches for powerful ninja to recruit to his side and help him destabilize the ninja villages so his plan can proceed. . Give it up, this would explain the large number of impossibly powerful rogue ninja working together rather than being at each other's throats. Well, most of the time.

7) Complete Madara has Pein restore some semblance of physical form back to him via the Rinnegan. This allows Madara, who had heretofore lost all control over the physical world, to regain control of the demon fox. The fox is sent to Konoha as part of Akatsuki's goal of destabilizing ninja villages, and signifies that Akatsuki has finally found Pein, who is willing to assist Madara (although he doesn't know it), and is the beginning of the end for the ninja world. Don't cry spoiler, Akatsuki's involvement in this is part of my WMG.

8) About five years later, Uchiha begins to plan a coup, a plan suggested by Danzo. Danzo did this so he could have a reason to eliminate Uchiha... a new character list following the changes in Naruto characters will come later. Unbeknownst to Madara, but known to the ANBU Black Ops and especially Itachi, who recognizes the importance, the Uchiha clan finds Grand Summoning Ascension. Thus, the coup is delayed, for the clan is trying to find the person in the clan who has a chance of being more powerful than Madara was so they can activate it and create the 10-tailed beast.

Daring not to reveal this information to Konoha for fear of what they would do with the knowledge, and hoping to get close to Madara, who he knows is alive (the Sharingan allows a person limited sensor ability, Itachi could 'feel' Madara with his level of Sharingan), Itachi takes it upon himself to eliminate the possibility of Grand Summoning Ascension from the earth. He mows down the Uchiha clan, save for Sasuke, who he (Itachi) believes he can trust to take his place when he dies from the illness he's currently suffering. Itachi then joins Akatsuki as a missing-nin.

9) Sasuke vows revenge, which Itachi anticipated and planned for to allow others who might obstruct his (Itachi's) plan to be destroyed.

10) The group of Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke go to the Land of Waves, an area that, like the Village Hidden in the Mist, has been destabilized by Akatsuki into what is effectively a 3rd-world country. Itachi bribed the person that put up the offer to place a lower rank on the mission so as to allow Sasuke the opportunity to re/awaken his Sharingan. Yes, in this, Itachi is a genius. Meanwhile, Akatsuki's growing from its power base.

11) A little later, Orochimaru realizes Madara's true plan and begins his attempt to assimilate Sasuke, and thus become a Sharingan-wielder that can activate Grand Summoning Ascension, thus interfering with Madara's plan. Itachi recognized that Orochimaru would take that course of action, but allowed it in a gambit to allow Sasuke to have the Magekyo Sharingan, which alone could pose a credible threat to Madara's plan. Madara, meanwhile, allowed Itachi to do this because he was setting up Sasuke, the only remaining manipulatable (not a word, I know) Uchiha left, to activate GSA.

12) Orochimaru gets absorbed, Madara's happy, Sasuke's happy, Itachi's happy, and Orochimaru's happy.

13) Sasuke goes around taking down members of Akatsuki and heightening his strength. Naruto piddles around doing the same.

14) Sasuke vs Itachi. Itachi realizes that the time has come, that he (Itachi) has been close to dying for many years and that Madara has a reasonable chance of coming out on top. Itachi pushes Sasuke, who's much weaker, into releasing Orochimaru, and promptly ends Orochimaru's plan with one spiritual sealing in the Kusanagi blade. Itachi dies and allows Sasuke to possess the Magekyo Sharingan, and his techniques along with it. Itachi is covered in every way: Should Sasuke go against Madara, Madara's lost his Uchiha replacement and, being a ghost for nearly a hundred years, Madara's power isn't sufficiently high enough to attempt GSA even if Pein did bring his body back. Should Madara try to bring Sasuke to his side, Amaterasu might hold off Madara and convince Sasuke to leave Madara (Itachi's protecting Sasuke). Should Madara succeed in bringing Sasuke AND Amaterasu doesn't work, the 'crow' that Itachi gave Naruto will kick in.

14a) The crow. Itachi, being an Uchiha, can feel the pull of Juubi/Madara's influence as can every other Uchiha. However, by being an Uchiha, Itachi has an innate pull over Tailed Beasts, like other Uchiha (posited above). The part of Itachi's power given to Naruto is the ability of a person to have some control over the Tailed Beast, which is the same power Juubi/Madara has over other Uchihas. Here's Itachi's plan: Madara may succeed and bring Sasuke to create the 10-tailed beast. If, however, Naruto has his own 'pull' against the Nine-Tailed Fox, then perhaps that can allow the Fox to split from the attempted Juubi and thus weaken Madara/Juubi when it tries to fight the Sage, or even allow the Fox to attack Juubi/Madara. That would satisfactorily explain why Itachi's so accepting of his own death, even when the future (presumably) isn't known.

15) Skipping ahead... Pein invades, nukes Konoha, and gives his life away to resurrect everybody else. If you're on the WMG page and you don't know this, you might want to stay off pages that are spoilerrific by nature. Madara sees his plan to get his body back via Pein destroyed, and has to throw all his hope on the Gedo Mazo & Juubi plan. Not willing to throw it in just yet, Madara goes to the Summit and announces a false plan (Moon's Eye Plan) and another ninja war even though he and Akatsuki don't have the resources to engage in one. For Madara, this makes sense. He gained the enormity of his experience and power during a war, when he was forced to become better to survive, so it's only logical that a war be started to cause the same thing in Sasuke.

16) As stated by one of the Kages, a ninja coalition has never before existed. Madara will use that fact as an opportunity for Akatsuki, and will return to Akatsuki's original goal of destabilizing the villages by organizing things so that it appears the villages are turning on each other. There are many ways to do that... assassinate one group, put another village foremost into battle, and then there are all the Manipulative Bastards that will come out of the woodwork given the environment to do so. The Fourth Ninja War won't be between Akatsuki + TB vs Ninja Villages, but Ninja Villages v Ninja Villages. Akatsuki will take this opportunity to play mercenary, just as Uchiha and Senju did long ago, while Madara will use it to increase Sasuke's strength. If Sasuke gets into trouble, Madara will simply space/time rend him into his (Madara's) eye. There will be a great deal of awesome on the parts of Shikamaru, the new Hokage, and... not Sakura.

17) Speaking of things that nobody cares about, Sakura's going to attempt to stop the war mentioned above by talking to Sasuke. It isn't going to work. Cue Curb-Stomp Battle.

18) After a few more plot-important events that don't affect this WMG (see elsewhere... c'mon, I wouldn't put all my guesses in one place, would I?), Sasuke's officially the most hated character in the series and is far beyond everybody except our favorite Determinator. Why's he hated? Why, he kills Kakashi. Just throwing that out there. Naruto fights Sasuke numerous times, and creates more Valley at the End scenarios than even Madara (who's potentially, according to this theory, millions of years old) cares to know about. More war, more suffering, more Akatsuki getting rich (this way, if Madara's plan fails, he has the money to buy nations outright and establish another power base).

19) Sasuke gets Grand Summoning Ascension. Sasuke uses it, because he's a cocky bas**** who would do anything that puts him at an immediate advantage, right? It works, a 10-tailed beast is created, but there's something Madara and Itachi neglected to mention. Orochimaru. Itachi trapped Orochimaru within a blade wielded by Susanoo, and then gave Susanoo to Sasuke. In so doing, Orochimaru was given to Sasuke, and Sasuke is left with a 10-tails of his own creation (He's Uchiha, so the WMG lets him use GSA) that he can't use... because he's no longer 'only Uchiha'. Itachi did this to make sure that if Sasuke did turn evil, he wouldn't be able (in theory) to use GSA. Madara let it happen, banking that the 10-tails could be created but not controlled.

20) So pivotal it needs its own number slot: Madara guessed correctly.

21) In a battle that asplodes the heads of the viewers (the first time around, mind), Sasuke, Naruto, and the 10-Tails get in a free-for-all... and with Madara in charge of the 10-tails. Naruto is captured, and Sasuke, being of no more use to Madara, is irreverently thrown on the ground and stepped on to remove his life and eyes from the Naruto universe forever. There are no more Uchihas, and now the only Sharingan left in the world, Madara Uchiha's Eternal Magekyo, has complete control over all the Tailed Beasts. A rescue attempt consisting of every village's remaining ninja forces converges on the point of Akatsuki's base of operations / Gedo Mazo, just in time for Naruto (Naruto's body) to die and have the 9 & 10-Tails finish being sealed into the temporal time box known as Gedo Mazo.

22) The box is smashed, and the Tailed Beasts are sent hundreds, maybe even thousands of years into the past, coalesce, and form the Juubi, who happens to (according to Madara's plan, of course) appear around the same time the Sage of Six Paths is making his rounds teaching people the ninja way and the powers of nin/gen/taijutsu. With Future!Complete Madara still possessing the Sharingan and hence a link to the Juubi, the result, Future!Complete Madara/Juubi attempts to destroy the world and cause havoc.

23) The Sage of Six Paths comes across the Juubi/Madara abomination, and an amazing fight begins. The fight continues, and it's not looking good for the Sage of Six Paths.

24) Naruto continues to exist in the 9-tails section of the Juubi, a result of Itachi lending Naruto 'some of (his) power'. The Sharingan link comes into effect and saves part of Naruto with the Fox, via the crow. Yeah, it's that important.

25) Just before the fight completely deteriorates for the Sage, Naruto, with the power conferred to him by the Fourth Hokage and the ability given to him with Itachi's 'crow', breaks free of the Juubi, which consisted of 10 TB, resulting in a 9-TB-Juubi and the Nine-Tails Fox. Naruto takes advantage of the 'crow', his innate power as the Jinchuurki of the Fox, and the Yang chakra sealed within him that is the Fox's, and proceeds to help the Sage beat down Juubi/Future!Complete Madara.

25a) Keep in mind, following along from 1-25 and going back to 1 as a result of 25 would result in a Stable Time Loop, ensuring that Madara can't ever die. Multiple the time period between the Sage's existence and the arrival of Step 21 by, oh, a couple thousand times, and you've a Madara who's millions of years old.

26) Path 1: Endless Recursion

On Naruto's insistence the Sage absorbs the remaining Ying factor of the Nine-Tailed Fox into his being, erasing it from external existence. Naruto then becomes the Senju pupil of the 9-Tailed Fox, while another person becomes the Uchiha pupil. The spirit of Complete Madara goes into that Uchiha, causing the chain of events that began this WMG. Stable Time Loop results.

26) Path 2: The Chosen One

Apparently, this is good idea for a fanfic, so I'm going to leave this alone. Wouldn't want to spoil the ending, right ^^?


 * That actually makes sense.
 * Problem with #10. It was explicitly stated that Tazuna lied in order for it to be a C-ranked mission because he couldn't afford a higher ranked one. Also, Gatou was the cause of the all the trouble in the Land of Waves and no connection between him and Akatsuki has ever been implied at all.
 * True, but that's part of my WMG. Tazuna was given the money to complete the project by Itachi (hence Kakuzu's irritance over the money spilling out everywhere later on). Where else would an independent builder get the money for such a project? But overall, this is a lot of world-building / behind-the-scenes. I just thought this was at least plausible. As for Gatou, he seemed too savvy to simply hope that the promise of future payment would scare a missing-nin into behaving. I believe Itachi promised Gatou money if this deal were worked. The promise of protection from an Akatsuki member AND a hoard of money would be enough for a business man like Gatou, who likes to 'tie up loose ends'.
 * But what evidence do you have to back that up? For silly theories it would be fine, but this is serious and involves too many variables in just that one point (not to mention the whole theory just throws Occam's Razor into a black hole several times). Sasuke would have unlocked his Sharingan eventually anyway and Itachi knew it. There was no need for him to interfere and Kakuzu could have been talking about anything.
 * Frankly, I think this is a rather complicated theory to explain a relatively simple plothole that, on closer inspection, isn't all that much of a plot hole. Of course the Juubi appeared out of nowhere--that's what world-destroying Eldritch Abominations do after lying in slumber until The Stars Are Right for god-knows-how-long. As for the tailed beasts being unable to exist independently of the Juubi--there are numerous instance in folklore the world over (including Japanese folklore, on which Naruto is loosely based) of souls/minds/spirits being able to separate and live independently of their original bodies. There's not really much of a contradiction here. And the tailed beasts didn't destroy the world because, individually, they had neither the power nor the intellect to do so; they became little more than roving natural disasters. (Arguably, the Juubi itself didn't have that power either--it could just make things very miserable. We don't really know much about it as of yet beyond the fact that it was there, presumably doing Bad Stuff, before the Sage kicked its tails. Which may prove to be another reason this isn't a plot hole--the relevant information just hasn't been revealed yet.) Occam's Razor, people. Chances are, Kishimoto just hasn't gotten around to telling the full backstory--this is a relatively new plot thread, after all. Madara is probably a lying liar who lies, but that doesn't mean he has to be secretly behind every conflict in the series as part of a convoluted Time Travel plot.
 * My Willing Suspension of Disbelief doesn't stretch to hoping the author created a loose end and left it hanging because he didn't know / realize better, so the whole Juubi-comes-from-nowhere-because-the-plot-demands doesn't work for me. On a separate note, the Tailed Beasts could destroy the world. The 9-Tailed Fox, though obviously the most powerful of them, was a threat to a ninja village that held the power of the lineages of both the Uchiha and the Senju within them.
 * Minato was able to effectively beat the Fox while fighting Madara by himself. Yes, he had to seal it, but if it is powerful enough to destroy the world don't you think he wouldn't have stood a chance. And the Juubi doesn't come from nowhere. Like an above troper said, it's a new plot point that hasn't been expanded upon. No, we shouldn't take everything Madara says at face value, but this involves too many assumptions that aren't really implied.
 * That's the point: Minato, the Hokage, was able to beat the Fox. If the flashbacks are any indicator, the rest of the village was running downhill during the battle with it. Just compare: Orochimaru was able to defeat a Hokage and, were his arms not sealed, would have summoned Manda and wrecked the village. The Fox / Madara combination is infinitely more powerful than Orochimaru ever could hope to be. Now, if we take out Madara, we see that the Hokage had to seal the Fox, and that sheer force of arms wasn't capable of smiting the thing. If the Juubi, once swallowed by the Sage, really did create 9 Tailed Beasts immediately afterward, the Sage would've had to have made Jinchurikis to contain them, or devise some other way of protecting the ninja world from them. Since it was stated (I think... help me out here) that the Hokage (I think Hashirama?) split up the Jinchurikis among nations to prevent war from being easily brought to the ninja world, it's more likely that the Tailed Beasts weren't created at the same time, for this reason: The Fox, as a single Tailed Beast, was an enormous threat to the Leaf Village. Since there are nine Tailed Beasts and not as many major Villages, it stands that before there were Jinchurikis that the group of 9 TB were more powerful than the world's total of ninjas. Now, the result of 9 TB being made at once would explain the Schizo Tech, but so too would the explanation that TB are created, and that each progressively powerful TB is a greater threat to the world around them. Hence, they go on rampages, do destructive things, and cause Schizo Tech.
 * As for the final assertion, I reply that Madara's wish to dominate everything NGE style simply isn't characteristic of him. To the evil genius, which is better: To have the culmination of the power of every legendary beast and, through a Stable Time Loop, to live forever until you get it correct? Or to hope nobody interferes with your plan to genjutsu the world? Madara has yet to grab the Idiot Ball canonically, so why would be offer complete and total knowledge about his plan to the enemy when the plan can still be circumvented? With this WMG, it's easy to understand. Madara wants another ninja war so Sasuke can hone his skills to the point where he can successfully activate Grand Summoning Ascension.
 * Or he just didn't reveal some details of his plan or he has a motive that will be revealed later or he's outright lying about what he actually intends to do once he becomes the Juubi jinchuriki.
 * That Madara's either outright lying about what he intends to do or possesses an ulterior motive is the basis for this WMG. We're talking about Madara, who's shown the ability to manipulate (possibly) Kisame, Danzo, Itachi, Sasuke (but that's easy to do), the Uchiha clan, the 9 Tailed Fox, Pein, Hebi/Taka, possibly the Mizukage, provided he's not, in fact, the Mizukage, the Konohagakure council, and Orochimaru (again, possibly). It's difficult to believe that somebody with such raw power and capacity for manipulation would develop an As God Am I complex and reveal his entire plan to the people most capable of stopping him.
 * And how does being able to pose a threat to the Uchiha and Senju clans equal being capable of destroying the world, especially after both clans have been reduced in size and power by decades of peacetime? By that logic, all four of the other major ninja villages count as world-destroying threats. They may be descendents of the Sage, but there's no evidence that any of them have even begun to approach his power. That's why--in terms of relative reputation--they're powerful and pretigious clans, but he's the god of shinobi.
 * More to the point, this guess, taken as a whole, is far less plausible than taking the canonical situation at face value, plotholes and all. I'll concede that Madara is probably being less than completely honest about his motives and overall plan, and probably left a lot of details about the Juubi and the Sage out, but this convoluted scheme requires the invention of so many elements (the Gedo Mazo, the Grand Summoning Ascension, the nature of Madara, the origin of the Juubi, etc.) that have no basis in canon that it stretches disbelief far more. If it were a silly theory made up just for laughs, that would be one thing, but a serious theory becomes more plausible the fewer noncanonical elements you have to make up. This would make a pretty cool fanfic, but it just doesn't sound like something that's even remotely likely to actually happen, or even have something resembling it happen, in canon. (Incidentally, if the coming chapters prove me wrong, please tell me where you got your psychic powers. And please don't use them to erase my brain.)
 * The Senju and Uchiha clans were specifically stated to be the 'heirs' of the Sage, and whether that's physically or relates to their skill, there's no denying that a pairing of those two clans specifically is superior to any other grouping of clans. Consider this: The fact that Senju and Uchiha decided to join forced the rest of the ninja world to follow suit... which can be reasonably extrapolated to mean that the rest of the ninja world knew it didn't have a chance. For evidence, remember that 'whenever one group chose Senju, the opposing side chose Uchiha' (or something to that effect). The Land of Fire itself never was capable of taking over the world, though, the power balance was distributed well enough among the nations that no particular one can Avatar-style dominate the rest of the world. However, the fact that it took the Kage of the Village that housed both of these clans is evidence of the strength that the 9-Tails brought to bear on the village. If each tailed beast holds only a fraction of that power (at least, as I've suggested in my WMG above) then each beast was a threat to the villages as a whole.
 * Except for the fact that the Senju and Uchiha clans were quite clearly diminished in strength by the time of the Kyuubi attack. Tsunade (who is apparently the last of the Senju) is never shown to have had any living relatives other than her brother. If she had a larger family that died in the Kyuubi attack, you'd think that would have been mentioned at some point when they went over her Dark and Troubled Past in the Finding Tsunade Arc, so we can reasonably assume that by the time of the Sannin, the Senju are down to a single family unit. Likewise, the Uchiha, while certainly respected, seem to be on more or less equal terms with the other major clans of Konoha. Indeed, there are many who seem to believe that the Sharingan is just a mutation of the Hyuuga's Byakugan--not a claim that many would make if there were an obvious disparity in power. It seems fairly clear that it was the feud between the Senju and Uchiha that drove the two clans to such heights of power, and the decades of peace between the establishment of Konoha and the attack of the Fox diminished them considerably.
 * Continuing on, this WMG only creates one thing: Grand Summoning Ascension. The nature of Madara is currently unknown (I mean, is he a ghost, a spirit, a force, the Darkness, the Sharingan, what?). Gedo Mazo is already in existence, and it's well-known that it's the container of the TB, and the Juubi has to come from SOMEWHERE.
 * But that's just it. So far the Gedo Mazo has shown only a two abilities, stealing souls (when Nagato summoned it against Hanzo) and acting as a bijuu pokeball. You're trying to turn it into a time machine when such a thing has never been implied. It's also been stated that it's the act of removing the bijuu that kills the jinchuriki, hence why the Sanbi was loose in the wild and Yagura is nowhere to be found.
 * Okay, the part of where it was stated that the act of removal kills the jinchuriki is something I didn't see. So X that part of it out. As for Gedo Mazo being effectively a time machine, that's just my way of tying up the plot thread of where the Juubi came from up. There's really nothing left to substantiate that part of the WMG other than the lingering plot hole. It most easily explains why the Juubi comes from nowhere: It just appeared out of nowhere / the future.
 * The Juubi did not come out of nowhere just in time for the Sage to "stop it." Madara: "As the man who freed the world from the terrible Juubi, the Sennin was worshipped like a god by the people." Unless something has been lost in translation, this very heavily implies it had been around for a long time before the Sage came along. This whole theory rests on a plot hole that is not a plot hole.
 * The implication was understood and accepted. The Juubi had been around for a while. However, unless the Juubi is some form of a primal force of the Naruto-world that has always been, it can easily be changed to say that the Juubi did NOT appear just to fight the Sage, but Juubi/Madara instead appeared earlier. The Plot Hole of where exactly the Juubi came from is still present.
 * You just provided a perfectly good answer right there. The Juubi being a primal force that has always existed or even that it came from Hell/another dimension/space/the evil in people's hearts/what have you a long time are much simpler and more likely explanations than this convoluted theory that tears down a lot of established canon.
 * Even if the Ten-Tails's origin is never explained that literally is not what "plot hole" MEANS; unless some part of the plot flat out contradicts some other one it isn't a plot hole, it's just an unanswered question.
 * A Plot Hole is a point in the canon that contradicts itself, as you said. It goes against what we know (or has been outright stated) about the powers of the Tailed Beasts so far who, as mere descendants of the Juubi, are massive threats to the villages, to say that their powers-combined Juubi form didn't/couldn't destroy the world. If the Juubi couldn't destroy the world, then it's at the very least poor and inconsistent writing. If the Juubi didn't destroy the world, then it's pretty powerful evidence that it was not around long enough to do so... the Sage was the creator of ninjas.
 * All right, let's assume for a second it was strong enough to destroy the world, or even just strong enough to wipe out humanity. There's nothing to suggest it had the intelligence to put its power to that kind of use. The only instance of a tailed beast attacking a village that we know of was the Kyuubi attack on Konoha, and that only happened because Madara forced it to do it. The Sanbi was out in the wild for some time, years likely, but there's no evidence it actually attacked anything in that time. The way I see it, it's much more likely that it was a roving natural disaster (as suggested by another troper above). Sucks if it happens to walk on your village, but it's not going to affect you if you're on another continent or if it's out in the unihabited wilderness.
 * I don't know, I think it's clear the Juubi came from somewhere, but that's unimportant. It's more likely that the reason the Naruto world is full of Schizo-Tech is because the Juubi was basically an apocolypse the world is still recovering from, and plenty of stuff has become Lost Technology. It would explain why Amegakure appears to be built out of Chemical Plant Zone too.


 * If the above WMG is wrong, then Kishi's got some 'splaining to do for why Madara didn't dimension-hole the Kages at the meeting when he had the chance.
 * The Tsuchikage has fought him before (unless that was a mistranslation) and might know a counter to that. It's also possible he genuinely could have lost to four Kages and eight elite jounin, dimension hole or no dimension hole.
 * True, if Madara were powerful enough to do that there would be no point in the whole Juubi plan. However, I think it says something that Madara D-Holes the jounin with Danzo and then lets Sasuke fight Danzo instead of simply adding Danzo to the list of people Dimension Swallowed. I don't think Danzo has a counter to it either... if that were the case, why send out Sasuke Pokemon-style to fight him? More realistically, I guess, Danzo DOES have a counter, but Madara needs Danzo to be weakened so as to ensure it works.
 * Madara likely has no idea whether or not Danzo has a counter. So far it's been strongly implied that every Sharingan has it's own powers. Danzo has an entire arm covered with them. Even if he wont admit it, Madara is probably terrified that by sheer volume, Danzo will either have more magical sharingan abilities or be more in touch with the Juubi.
 * Good point about Madara not knowing... I've been working on the assumption that he's more or less omniscient owing to having lived through hundreds and hundreds of lives through many time lines. Insofar as the WMG makes any sense, Danzo sending out Sasuke to attack Danzo makes sense on two key levels. One: Madara wants Danzo out of the way, owing to his numerous Sharingan. As you stated, each one more than likely has a unique ability, but if we put this fact in conjunction with the WMG, we realize that there is a Kage-level ninja in the ninja world NOT under Madara's thumb who has Sharingan / a way to possibly interfere with the WMG Madara's plan / control over the Tailed Beasts or Juubi. Two: Madara wants Sasuke to be stronger so he (Sasuke) can activate Grand Summoning Ascension successfully. Since Sasuke is near the Kage-level in strength, his only rivals in strength at this point in the series are the Kages. Madara, according to the WMG, is simultaneously getting a roadblock out of the way and forwarding his plan to make Sasuke stronger.

Well, so much for this WMG. Do I at least get to know the troper that bothered to keep up with me and my theory?
 * There were actually two of us, as you'll notice if you look at the page history. One is me, Exploding Frogs. This really is a fun theory you have here, even if it didn't actually happen. If you ever decide to write a fic based on it, why not put a link to it here?
 * Tropers then, and I apologize. I've been thinking about it, but I don't know if I would do it justice... but it's starting some time in January, whether I'm ready or not. Thanks again. Carthestian out.

Sakura will gain some Super Special Awesome Clan Power
Think about this. EVERYONE in the Naruto world - or at least a good portion of them, and the Konoha 11 - has some powers that come descended in the family. The Yamanaka clan has the Mind-Switch Jutsu, the Nara clan has Shadow Possession, and Rock Lee has epic determination (The fact that he was born WITHOUT any ninjutsu at all indicates he may have some super special powers he can't use), Choji's clan has the Expanding Body tech, Kiba's clan has all their dog jutsu, the Aburame clan has the bugs, the Hyuugas have the Byakugan, Ten-Ten has her special Twin Dragons and the Uchiha of course have the Sharingan. And everyone who doesn't have some special ability from their family has something living inside of them or has invented their own technique. Naruto has the Nine Tails. Sakura is the only 'normal' member of the 11. It would be incredibly strange that Sakura woudn't have one, especially as she's part of the Konoha 11. What if the Haruno clan has some special ability that can only be awakened under certain circumstances?

Naturally, this ability will be revealed when she confronts - and is nearly brutally murdered by - Sasuke. She will then discover this power and kick some serious ass.
 * But as far as we know, neither Rock Lee or Tenten's ability have any basis in a clan. And Word of God is that Sakura is supposed to be the more "normal" one.
 * Seconded, and there are plenty of other quite powerful ninja with no family techniques, even in Konoha: Tsunade, Jiraiya, Asuma, Kurenai, Guy, etc. In fact, of the people we know that are jounin, there's only Kakashi (who borrowed his powers) and Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Chouji's dad, and none of their powers are stated to be bloodlines instead of just powers taught to family members in the same way Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru passed their techniques on to Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke. Sakura doesn't need some super bloodline power to be an effective ninja. She just needs Kishimoto to care.

Madara used

 * Pretty much Jossed as of Ch. 510: Madara used

There will be another Valley of the End incident...
...This time including two more people (assuming that Sakura is serious about her offer).

So, Hinata, with Shino, Chouji, Ino, Neji, and Tenten (because, really, who would be willing to go save Naruto's butt, know about it, and be able to do anything?) will set off to stop Sasuke. Again.

They'll catch up to Kiba, Lee, and Sai, probably leaving two or three of their number to take care of the downed ninja, and then come into contact with two people who will make the remainder fight them.

Yes, according to this WMG, Suigetsu and Jugo managed to escape fairly quickly, and are trying to catch up to Sasuke.

So, the remaining ninja will get into a fight with Sui and Jugo, which takes up a lot of paper and time, but the resulting chaos will allow Hinata to catch up to the next'fight.

Yes, assuming Sakura has betrayed the village, Naruto will probably fight both Sasuke and Sakura to take them back.

Unfortunately for Naruto, since two Sannin apprentices vs. one will be a bit much, even given his recent level gain in Badass, he'll probably be knocked around a bit, forced to summon one of the few big toads that hasn't been injured, and end up fighting the new snake boss and the hawk boss at the same time.

Then Hinata will arrive and side with Naruto, causing it to split into A) Naruto Vs. Sasuke, and B) Hinata vs. Sakura.

More to come...


 * Removed by OP.
 * ...Now you've tried to ruin my WMG for resolving the Ship-to-Ship Combat towards my prefered pairings...
 * Jossed when, although.

The man who claims to be Madara is really Izuna
When Kabuto it was. In Itachi's version of Madara's story we only saw Madara take out Izuna's left eye and use his Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan with his left eye, while the mask only shows "Madara"'s right eye and the part of his face which he showed would be indistinguishable since they're brothers. We saw Izuna losing both and Madara using both in his flashback, but consider we already knew he was lying about causing the 9-Tails attack he could have been lying about that as well. So it's possible that Izuna only lost his left eye, lived on until Madara died, then took his right eye from his corpse, giving him half the Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan (and probably couldn't take back his own eye for whatever reason). Thus explaining why "Madara" only shows his right eye because he only has his right eye.
 * Unless Kishimoto is a Lying Creator, this would be

Minato sealed Kushina accidentally within Naruto and so sealed himself too..

 * , she'd be part of it. When Minato sealed Kyuubi, he accidentally sealed Kushina too, and that is the reason he also sealed himself.
 * Kushina, Kyuubi, and Minato are both pretty explicit in their chapters that it's not an accident.

Kushina was sent away after the Kyuubi attack to master the Flying Thunder God jutsu.
It'd explain where she's been all this time, and provide Naruto a way to get a new jutsu. All they need is to reveal she was told about Madara by Minato as a reason why she would back off for so long.
 * Yeah, no. See spoilers in the last WMG entry.

Naruto's going to become Hokage thanks to Danzo's stunt at the Kage Summit.
Because Danzo the other countries will complain to the Fire Daimyo. Once suspiscion of Danzo  is raised, he'll likely be booted from his position. Since Kakashi won't be recognized by the other countries out of concern for his Sharingan, Naruto will be given the position as the best available candidate.
 * Unfortunately, Naruto's probably not well suited to handling the Day-to-Day work necessary for being Hokage, like Paperwork, and Konoha. When this comes out, Shikamaru will wind up Hokage, since he's the only character who stands a chance at actually running a village.

Tsunade will give her life to resurrect Nagato...
So he can defend the Hidden Rain from Danzo's attempt to destroy it. This is mostly rooted in this from chapter 449: http://www.onemanga.com/Naruto/449/05/. Old Elder Frog clearly states that both Naruto and Nagato were the Children of Prophecy to lead the revolution in the Ninja world. If that was so, was Nagato's sacrifice part of it, or is there something else? Kishi's just put Tsunade into a coma, allowing Danzo to take over Konoha, if not politically then by force, due to, so it wouldn't make sense if she just pops out of the coma, and takes over Konoha again just like that.

Kushina moved to Konoha because she was persecuted in the Whirlpool Village.

 * Killer Bee was persecuted by one person, as far as we know, so Bee counts as having NOT been persecuted. Most likely Yugito, the two tails container, as well, given that Bee could have already established a certain level of respect for Kumo jinchuriki.
 * Furthermore, she wasn't even a Jinchuriki until Mito was dead, while Kushina was in Konoha.
 * Kushina moved for another reason, can't remember why though.
 * Kushina was transferred from Whirlpool to the allied village of Leaf to be the new container of the Kyuubi. It is strongly implied that Kushina was chosen for both the Uzumaki vitality, her own training in the Uzumaki heritage of seals, and that she had chakra uniquely suited for combating the bijuu. The last is noted by rival villages (her attempted kidnapping), and Kyuubi itself, having recognised her chakra. The chakra chains appear to be unnatured, but Sarutobi identified them as a barrier technique- I personally presume that Kushina's chakra affinity is barrier techniques then, and that she may have been on her way to starting a new bloodline... then she ruined it by not inbreeding when she went and bedded a Leaf ninja.

Kabuto's Last Coffin Holds the Fourth Hokage
Back in Orochi's fight with Sarutobi he attempted to summon three coffins but was stopped before he could summon a third.

It goes to reason Orochi's last coffin as well as Kabuto's most recent would be The Fourth Hogake, the best of the best.

Cause honestly who else could scare the shit outta Madara and Sarutobi?
 * Damn near proven, considering Minato is the only person we've seen actually hit Madara on-panel at this point (Hashirama Senju doesn't count). Given that Madara can control space-time and phase in and out of attacks, it wouldn't be surprising if Madara shit his pants upon seeing Minato being called upon by Kabuto.
 * But Minato's soul's been offered to the death god... thing that appears during the dead demon sealing technique, and the Third Hokage said that souls consumed by that can't be resurrected. Of course, Kabuto could have found a way to bypass that limitation...
 * No, he's been consumed. I doubt even kishi would bypass a rule like that.
 * It turned out to be the.

At some point, Killer Bee will fight a fox-controlled 4-or-more-Tails Naruto
Due to Naruto trying to learn how to control the fox on his own because Bee refused to train him, Naruto will (possibly in the ) lose control again and slip into a many-tailed form, and promptly start slaughtering every living thing he/it lays eyes on. Killer Bee will have to jump in and subdue the beast with his own power, and realizes that maybe letting the kid try to control the fox himself without help isn't such a good idea after all, and agree to help train Naruto, if only to protect everyone else from the fox's rampages.
 * It starts to happen, even with Bee's help, but Mommy came to the rescue, allowing Naruto to whip Kyuubi's ass for all time.

Dark Naruto Will Beat The Crap Out Of Naruto
He'll probably hand him his ass until Naruto gives him a big speech about how he's not lonely anymore, then he'll merge back into Naruto. Oh and Dark Naruto is probably going to go Kyubbi and be a manifestation of Naruto's Wangst.
 * Therapy-no-Jutsu. That's all that happened.

Dark Naruto is going to be essential to defeating Madara and Sasuke.
It's possible that Nartuo will face it down ala the above WMG, but it seems more likely to me that it won't be about beating his dark side, or proving how what it says isn't true. That's what Naruto will think, and that's why he wont be able to do it. Instead he's going to have to make peace with it and accept his darker impusles, realize that he's not perfect and always happy, something he has yet to do. He'll have to accept that he doesnt just want to bring Sasuke back; he also wants revenge.
 * Seems to be the case, though somewhat less dramatically than outlined above.
 * Naruto's darkness is gone, but the Kyuubi can re-introduce it, given that Naruto doesn't beat him up first.

Dark Naruto is Kyuubi.
Kyuubi has some kind of Plan that involves projecting a dark clone of Naruto to achieve some objective. Sort of like Zangetsu.
 * No, but the Kyuubi does take a liking to Naruto's evilness, which he uses to manipulate Naruto into fox mode.

We're getting a Second Exam redeux soon. Only more epically proportioned.
See how every single currently relevant character seems to be zoning in on Kumo's island? It was even compared to the forest of death training ground. All these people will gather, plotplotplot, then EVERYONE will be on the island, going for EVERYONE-else's necks... and this may be the climactic point for Naruto and Sasuke's final battle? Let's hope so. Minus that, This Troper claims I Knew It! right now.
 * Sorry, no, but we get some more badassery from Bee, Kyuubi control, a can of whoopass opened on, an assault by Kabuto and , and some more training. Whoopee.

Ten-Ten actually has very high chakra levels.
She just never needed to really use all of her chakra with her fighting style. It explains why she can wield the Bashonen without collapsing.
 * Well, my theory has been Jossed as of Chapter 536.

Tobi Could Still Be Obito Uchiha
I don't know if it's been mentioned but the whole "Tobi is Obito thing" isn't actually closed yet. In my opinion it's still more then possible, especially when you consider the abilities "Tobi" has so far displayed. Is it just me or does the black hole thing Tobi does strangely similar to Kakashi's mangekyo sharingan ability only, you know, better like an actual uchiha was using it. Not to mention the hole in the mask being the eye Obito didn't lose and anyone with past history in the Hidden Leaf village who happened to be an Uchiha that was also the head of a huge ninja crime ring would be interested and, therefor, privy to what actually happened to the Uchiha clan especially with Itachi and Orochimaru under his belt. Add the fact that we only have his word that he is Madara, he hasn't yet removed the mask and him surviving that rock thing or somehow being revived via some process isn't out of the question and it is certainly possible that Tobi actually IS Obito Uchiha.
 * Except that Madara was already manipulating people before Obito went on that mission, its possible that Madara is an unnamed Uchiha that went rogue a long time ago but makes more sense that it is actually Madara.
 * Jossed. The Fox directly identified Madara as Madara when he extracted him out of Kushina. Sorry, Obito being Tobi is dead.

The Demon Spirits allowed themselves to be sealed to gain more power.
So far, all of the Demon Spirits introduced are based on creatures of Japanese mythology renowned for their trickery and cunning (the kitsune, the tanuki, the nekomata, etc.); many of them are also known to sap the strength of their victims. It's also well-known that their hosts can utilize the Demons' powers to a greater extent than the Demons could themselves. Thus, it's likely that the Demons allowed themselves to be captured and sealed so they can have a source of life energy to feed on and a host body to unlock their full potential with, making them (ironically) stronger than if they were left unsealed.
 * As an extension, being extracted by Akatsuki is also part of their collective Plan. Possibly, they intend to fuse together while in the statue to become a single unstoppable engine of destruction. This is a much cooler result than nine monstrously powerful demons being used as glorified marketing tools, and keeping nine demons all sealed inside the same statue can't be a good idea...
 * A problem would be that the Nine-tails allows Naruto to use his power to defend himself against threats, potentially including Akatsuki. He ends up being saved from Akatsuki by Jiraiya or such, so this may not be a problem. And of course, there may be more then one statue, as Suna and Konoha would likely guard the one where Shukaku was sealed, since it would be idiotic to leave it by itself. They may just not know how to unseal it and don't want to break it incase Shukaku comes out rampaging.
 * Not really a problem considering there hasn't really been single instance that this troper can think of where Naruto used the Kyuubi against an Akatsuki member (Oro doesn't count since he's no longer a member). And there is only one statue, Pain (and possibly Madara or others considering Pain wasn't there to seal the Hachibi) can just summon it to any location they need it and then send it back to wherever it comes from (notice that it's gone when Naruto and co. recover Gaara's body). Besides, if there was more than one statue, why would they worry about breaking it by putting the bijuu in it in the wrong order?
 * He used it against Deidara, as did Gaara. And the only one that was unsealed also fought back, so it's not just the hosts.
 * Maybe Three-Tails just isn't as smart as some of the others?
 * Considering how the non-sealed Three-Tails was apparently quite stupid, and the rest of the Bijuu appear to be quite intelligent, perhaps they need to be sealed in order to retain their minds?
 * Jossed. The Tailed Beasts don't like being exploited not one bit. The Ninetails was actually willing to help Naruto because he DIDN'T want to be captured.
 * Jossed. The Tailed Beasts don't like being exploited not one bit. The Ninetails was actually willing to help Naruto because he DIDN'T want to be captured.

Naruto is being subconsciously controlled by the Nine-Tails
Naruto is constantly in pursuit of more power. He doesn't just want to be a strong ninja, he wants to be the greatest of all ninjas. Not only that, but he considers Sasuke, the most dangerous and evil person in his class, to be his best friend. He befriended Gaara, who was the carrier of the one-tailed beast (and who, even after having it removed, was still a powerful person to be close to). On top of all this, Naruto, who knows using the ninetales' power too often will result in it controlling him, continues to rush headlong into dangerous situations. All of this suggests that the ninetales is constantly whispering in the back of Naruto's head, pushing him to be stronger, to put himself into dangerous situations, and to surround himself with the worst people in his world, who are the most likely to corrupt him.
 * If that were true, then he would have killed Sasuke at The Valley of the End, and wouldn't love Sakura, who until Part 2 was a severe weakling.
 * Naruto can't be fully controlled by the Nine-Tails, and won't do things contrary to his nature. He can -however- be "nudged" in a direction that is better for Nine. Besides... aren't leaving Sasuke alive and being in love with Sakura two things that would make him fight harder?
 * Naruto could just happen to be a totally oblivious ninja. Although it could be some sort of personification of desire- to be wanted, to be powerful, that sort of thing. Very clever, Kishimoto-sama. I applaud you.
 * Not only is this false it goes against everything that has been clearly established by the entire series. The paragraph directly above this one however is correct.

The series is being set up for a second Time Skip.
Consider. The current story arc is currently in the middle of (spoiler-free description) killing alot of characters and destroying alot of real estate. The villain at the center of all this is, in the eyes of the Konoha ninjas, the Big Bad of the entire series. Kabutimaru's status is currently unknown, though he has given information to Konoha regarding Akatsuki, of which there are only five members remaining (Pain, Paper Chick, Kisame, Tobi, and Plant Guy). If my prediction stands, Pain and Paper Chick will be killed by the end of the arc, leaving only two relatively minor members of Akatsuki on the roster, under the direction of Madara Uchiha. Konoha itself will  and work will need to be done in its recovery. To borrow from my own prediction elsewhere above, Tsunade will be dead, killed by Danzo, necessitating a new Hokage. Elsewhere, Kirabi has escaped from Sasuke and Team Hawk and departed for parts unknown, mostly likely requiring a long search to find him if Akatsuki still wants to extract the Eight-tailed Ox. The Raikage, having learned of Akatsuki's attack on his brother within his lands, has called for a grand summit of all the Kages to deal with the problem of Akatsuki once and for all. All of these events should require at least several months of in-universe time to play out before the story picks up again on the other side. After so many Wham Episodes in the manga playing out back to back to back, a Time Skip would also make for a convenient way to catch our breath.
 * Konan won't be killed; she'll probably be left alojne and in despair, since Kishimoto loves to humiliate his female characters. Or worse: she might comclude she's as useless as Tenten and then, she kills herself with a paper cut.
 * This guess has been obsolete for over a year now.
 * This guess has been obsolete for over a year now.

Itachi was on Pain's side all along.
Itachi's childhood trauma from the ninja wars and Kyuubi attack caused him to slaughter his family and torment his brother in the name of peace. He is also one of the most powerful members of Akatsuki, but never seems to do anything counter-productive to their goals besides not outright killing any Konoha shinobi and failing to capture Naruto. While he was plotting against Madara, it is entirely possible that Itachi might have known Pain's goals and become a member of Akatsuki because he believed what Pain was doing was right. Crazy, I know, but it makes about as much sense as any other explanation of Itachi's motives.
 * Except Itachi slaughtered the Uchiha because it was the choice that would lead to the least bloodshed and because the Uchiha were the guilty party. Pain's way would lead to the deaths of millions of innocent people, so even if it did put a temporary end to war while Pain was alive it would also mean the kind of mass suffering of innocents on a scale that even the Uchiha couldn't have caused, something Itachi would not support.
 * Very much outdated to even consider.

Team Hebi is gonna get a well-deserved ass-whuppin'.
This is more Wild Mass Hope than anything else, but I can't see it turning out any other way - Team Hebi were utterly curbstomped by Killer Bee, and now they're going up against:
 * Naruto (who just trashed 6 S-Class Missing Nin, appears to have control of the Kyuubi, has Sage Mode, and still his Itachi-Crow and Kyuubi-Yang-Chakra powerups to reveal)
 * Sakura (who's likely on par with Suigetsu and better than Karin, at least)
 * Kakashi (a high-level Jounin, likely near-Kage level)
 * The Cloud Hunter-Nin (clearly high-level fighters, and pupils of the guy who kicked Hebi's asses)
 * Everyone else in Konoha (the Rookie 9, and every other Jounin, ANBU, and Chuunin around)
 * Danzo and ROOT (the main target of the whole thing, with a Kage-level leader and multiple jounin, combat-ready and untouched by Pain)

The Fourth didn't
In the latest chapter, the fourth apparently  saving everyone from an epic load of trouble. However, the entire thing was very journey to the centre of the mind - So while the Fourth was probably This would make sense, and could have interesting implications later on in the series.
 * He was there and so was his mother.

Killerbee/Kirabi will die and the Eight-Tails extracted.
Here's why. Heroes like Naruto tend to have inner fights a lot, and since he has the added bonus of actually having a literal inner demon, he will as well. A really, really big one. Which will occur as the Nine-Tails is being extracted so he can either resist the extraction and do what no one else has ever done or survive the extraction, again since it would be a one of a kind thing, all since thats the sort of hero character Naruto is. In order for the Nine-Tails to be sealed, unfortunately the Eight-Tails needs to be extracted which will kill everyone favourite rapping, Sasuke ass-kicking Jinchuriki, Killerbee/Kirabi. Make sense?
 * You assume, of course, that Kirabi isn't awesome enough to do the same.
 * Oh he is easily awesome enough to do it, meaning I beleive (see 'hope to hell') he will survive.
 * Too Cool to Live; if Kishimoto's smart enough, Kirabi will teach Naruto (or Sasuke) a lesson or two on how to be truly awesome. I know I've seen something like this before.
 * Well, it appears that Naruto himself is going to help Killer Bee's students find him (them finding out they want to kill Sasuke for something he didn't actually do is probably part of the series's "revenge is pointless" theme), which will probably boost his survival rate. Anyway, since Madara sent Kisame after him, it will hopefully be a good fight regardless.
 * UPDATE: Naruto isn't going after him, but scouts from his own village are... while Kisame has already found him. At least this will probably be on-panel.
 * Even if this will happen, it's nowhere near the way described here.

Madara is a sort of "Chakra ghost" who replaced the actual Tobi.
Since it was revealed that Tobi was actually Madara, has he actually done anything? He's phased through every attack thrown at him, and never made an offensive move of his own. The reason? He can't, he's a ghost. He has a chakra presence, but he's really not there or capable of affecting the world. Tobi himself was real for the first part of the series (where he captured the 3-tails and was strangled by Deidara), but Madara needed a patsy and so Zetsu ate him.
 * Notice his statement in chapter 453, "I can't believe Nagato used his Rinne Tensei like that. It's supposed to be for me." There are only three reasons he would need that: he wants to bring someone else back to life, he thinks he might die in the near future, or he's already (un)dead and he wants to be alive again.
 * Fourth possibility:
 * Jossed. Madara was dead and was meant to be revived via Rinne Tensei, but got revived via Edo Tensei instead. Tobi is an impostor/decoy.

When Naruto meats the Mizukage in person, he's going to find out she wants revenge on him for Zabuza's death.
Zabuza was a relative of some sort. That, plus the fact he was one of the Seven Deadly Swordsmen made him believe he was strong enough to take on his older/younger sister, the Mizukage. The Mizukage is also demonstrably psychotic if her introduction and village's practice of having genin fight to the death are any indication. The fact it's called the Great Naruto Bridge will give Kakashi a pass on this... Leading to the inevitable, Naruto vs Mizukage battle.

Afterall, we know he probably won't fight the Tsuchikage (joke character)... and the Raikage is probably going to wind up fighting Sasuke, leaving Danzo (the Hokage) to fight either Anko, Sai, and/or Sakura.
 * Considering Zabuza tried to assassinate either her or her predecessor I seriously doubt she'd be inclined to hold a grudge against Naruto. If anything she'd probably thank him for killing such a dangerous missing-nin. On the other hand, considering Naruto's dad slaughtered a whole bunch of the Tsuchikage's men during the last great war, he would probably be the one to attack Naruto. And don't write him just because he's a crochety old man. Chiyo was a tiny old lady and she was integral in taking on her grandson (an S-class missing-nin) and Sarutobi even well past his prime was able to defeat two Hokages and nearly kill Orochimaru.
 * I never said her logic makes sense. Remember, I'm operating under the premise that her response to her bodyguard's encouragement to the young Swordsman was her being psychotic and not just her being angered by sexism. We may in the future discover that she's a perfectly normal individual and this was comic relief, but... Again, this is a village where kids are (or at least, were) required to duel to the death. She's gotta have some scars...
 * There's also the question of how long she's been in office, as the practice of having kids fight to the death was ended ten years before the main plotline as a result of Zabuza's killing all the graduating class (thirteen years before her introduction).
 * From her comments, it seems Zabuza may have rebeled against Madara when he was the Mizukage, though he didn't know he was the anciet Uchiha. Since he was powerful enough to force Kakashi to use the Chidori, he was at least mid to high Jonin level.
 * And it seems as though she's not at all fond of what the Fourth Mizukage did, as she criticizes Ao for speaking fondly of the past and the days when it was the Village of Bloody Mist.
 * You're forgetting Yagura. Madara was the third Mizukage, not the Fourth. Unless Zabuza is far older than he appears to be, it's likely that the attempted Coup was against Yagura.
 * The second fanbook confirms it: Yagura was the Mizukage Zabuza rebelled against.
 * Not to mention that Naruto DIDN'T KILL ZABUZA. Zabuza bled to death after being impaled by multiple weapons from Gato's mooks.
 * Everybody who wasn't there thinks Sasuke killed Zabuza when in fact Sasuke was knocked out and near death at the time.
 * VERY Jossed.

Ino will finally get a day in the limelight against the Edo Tensei zombies.
Because Revive Kills Zombie, making the otherwise nigh useless Ino a major threat. It's pretty much the only conceivable excuse for giving Ino a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
 * This is wrong on almost all but one account. First off medical ninjutsu doesn't affect Edo Tensei zombies any differently than it does living people, not helped by the fact that the former are invoulnerable anyway, and can't be defeated unless released or sealed. And medical ninjutsu isn't even Ino's specialization. Fianlly, Ino did have a day in the limelight, but it was due to her possession technique, and it wasn't any more outstanding than what everybody else did.

There is more to the Fourth Hokage's appearance than is let on
OK, so we see the Fourth appear in Naruto's mindscape/seal room to reveal his intent for Naruto to use the Kyuubi's power to kill Madara. That's great, but there's one problem: If this true ninja genius was really in the seal, that would mean he's been there the whole time... so why didn't he appear sooner? If he is as sealed into Naruto as the Kyuubi is (or at least enough of him to form a presence, he should have appeared when Kyuubi did, after Jiraiya shoved Naruto off the cliff. THREE YEARS AGO. If he had appeared at this time, he could have revealed all of this sooner, giving Naruto - and, by extension, Konoha - more time to prepare to vanquish their oldest enemy.

But he didn't.

He didn't show himself this first time, or even to stop Naruto from giving in to the Kyuubi before - at the Bridge of Heaven and Earth (and before you mention Yamato, Minato could not know him as he died before Yamato was found, let alone know that he could repress Kyuubi). Also, Sasuke's Sharingan was apparently advanced enough to see what lie within Naruto - but again, no Hokage stepped forth. So why did he only appear once? It could be that, as is said, he was only to step in at the last moment, but this seems... overly complex and out of place, given what is known of the Fuuinjutsu and Minato's plans. So then, how does this phantom appear?

There is an egregious event in the plot, one that seems to have yet to appear, despite the fact that Naruto would have had more than enough to have subconsciously activated it (what with his encounter with the top two Akatsuki): Itachi's 'crow', his gift to Naruto. It is established that, whether Madara is to be believed or not, Itachi clearly has intentions against the eternal Uchiha (as shown in the planted Amaterasu). Also, Itachi would be highly aware of many top-secret information, being the captain of ANBU and, likely, one of their most trusted agents; that and the uncanny similarity between the father and son would not lead one to believe that Itachi is unaware of who and what Naruto really is.

I submit the hypothesis that this phantom, indeed, is Itachi's gift: that he gave Naruto (and thus Konoha) the knowledge of who the true enemy was; and also that he gave the weakening seal another level of defense, to keep Naruto from fully losing himself to Kyuubi, so as to evade capture by Akatsuki. (For why this makes sense, remember that the truly wild Bijuu are significantly weaker than the sealed ones), who in turn are weaker than the Jinchurriki become. To see this, picture the pre-time skip Ichibi fighting Shippuuden Gaara; while Gaara can gain more control of his power, Ichibi - like Sanbi - should be limited to his shown power.)

EDIT: Why did he choose to use the Yondaime as the gift's avatar? I would guess to obfuscate his involvement, or possibly so that Naruto could know who his father was and think well of him (an earlier theory posited that Itachi, while dying, pretended to be a caring older brother to Sasuke one last time - the whole poking his forehead bit - as he took pity on Sasuke in his last moments; Itachi seemed to know he was not long for this world. Perhaps this choice of incarnation served as an analogue to that act of pity)
 * Minato didn't appear sooner because he designed the seal so that he wouldn't appear until Naruto reached the eight tailed state.
 * the theory acknowledged the stated explanation - but the point of this is that it makes no sense to do that. Disregarding the likelihood that such a mechanism would be harder to create in the seal (it seems more complex than a simple presence), it hinders Minato's objective of having Naruto master the Kyuubi's power and preparing to beat Madara. Someone with the apparent planning to put in a failsafe would be better served by simply having that sentience be there.
 * Jossed: Completely unrelated.

It's going to be SHIKAMARU who winds up fighting the Mizukage
It fits. Shikamaru's long streak of having to fight strong-personalitied women was only really broken by his sensei's death and the need to avenge it (and the fact that the only female member of Akatsuki was needed for a Heel Face Turn). There's GOING to be a brawl between the Kages and some of the Konoha villagers. It's inevitable.

It's actually scarily plausible: Shikamaru has some decidedly old-fashioned views about how women should be treated, and the Mizukage has some decidedly forward-thinking views about how sexism should be viewed. It also fits into his character growth: He's taken down a member of Akatsuki: That only really leaves a Kage, and Kishimoto likes Shikamaru too much NOT to include him in a few more major fights.

Calling I Knew It! rights on this on, right now.
 * That whole thing about her being pissed that her bodyguard was being "sexist", really isn't an at all accurate translation. She got pissed because she (rather insanely) misinterpretted his statement that the other guard was being too weaked willed as saying she was old. SleepyFans were trying to get that to work in English somewhat, but it really ended up coming out the wrong way. Still, that fits the trend of "strong willed, aggresive, and even a little scary", perhaps even better.
 * So she's basically a Christmas Cake with a lot of pent-up bitterness about it.
 * And I'm willing to bet that when Shikamaru wins, Temari's going to find herself competing against the Mizukage. Why? Because it seems the more strong-willed, aggressive, and a little scary they are, the more likely they are to go after him after losing to him. The only reason Tayuya and Kin didn't chase after Shikamaru is because working for Orochimaru tends to leave one with a bad case of dead.
 * Why the hell would anyone of the good guys have to fight the Mizukage?

Madara was the previous Mizukage. While there, he fathered a girl.
That girl is the current Mizukage. A year or two before Zabuza's own genin exam, Madara entered into a pact with Danzo to destroy Konoha. Danzo helped Madara bring the Kyubi to Konohagakure that fateful night when Naruto was born. The price of this was that Danzo required a Sharingan eye, much like Kakashi. Medical ninja swapped his eye for her activated Sharingan. The operation left her with a small scar, which is why she covers the eye she got from Danzo. It's not to keep her Sharingan from being active all the time... After all, she's an Uchiha. She can control it just fine. She just doesn't like the idea of people seeing the scar she has on her face. The more I read that batch of crazy, the more it makes sense.
 * Madara was dead. Tobi was clearly not the previous Mizukage (more like controlling him). Not sure about the other details.

Kushina Uzumaki is still alive
The fourth could have sent her away so that, if he failed to seal the Kyuubi, she would be safe. She may have believed that the village was destroyed, Giving her a bad case of Heroic BSOD that made her want to stay away from the village. Team 7 and friends will probably find her on the way to Sasuke.
 * Alternatively, the Elders (or, at least, Danzo) sent her off to the former Land of Whirlpools in a sort of Ninja witness protection Program, and then told her that she had to stay there for Naruto's safety... or they blackmailed her.
 * Looked pretty dead to me.

Tobi is dead, and Madara stole his identity.
Tobi was killed by Deidara's C0 jutsu, an explosion like that would've either vaporized him or burn him beyond recognition. Madara didn't reveal himself until after Tobi died, he took advantage of Tobi's mysteriousness (nobody knew him that well anyway) to continue hiding. He didn't reveal himself to everybody at first, he wanted to gradually come out of the shadows. What better way to reveal yourself slowly than by disguising as somebody in order to hide in plain sight. Thanks to his sharringan, he is able to impersonate Tobi perfectly. Maybe Madara convinced Zetsu to let Tobi join Akatsuki, for this purpose.
 * Nah. Tobi was alive and fine, and lying non stop.

Sasuke is being set up for a fall a la Griffith, possibly helped along by Hawk being killed off by Madara for failing.
He's just failed at capturing the Eight-Tail, and I'm assuming he'll be pissed that Pain got to Konoha before him. This is all after god knows how many chapters of him being the Sue we all know and er, love, and such a huge setback might just be the start of a whole 'nother downwards slope.
 * Not only did he fail, but now not even the Cloud village knows where Killerbee is, which makes searching for him nearly impossible.
 * Unless that's what he wanted all along...
 * This is so last year.

Kisame and Zetsu actually used to be a shark and a venus flytrap and Madara used the power of the Sanbi and Kyuubi, respectively, to make them human.
He no doubt had access to Sanbi during his tenure as the Mizukage and Kisame recognizing him implies that Kisame was around at the time. This explains both his looks, immense chakra and his immense dislike of shark fin soup. It's also possible that Samehada was made from some part of the Sanbi's body and shark skin is either a misnomer or application of Rule of Cool. He also had access to the Kyuubi up until his attack on Konoha. In the meantime, he used it to create Zetsu to serve as his right hand man. This explains why his village of origin is never stated (when the Grass Village would be a perfect fit), why he's been in on Madara's secrets from the beginning, and why Madara trusts him so much.
 * The shark skin thing is because of the little tooth like things sharks have instead of scales. Sameheda just has really big ones.
 * This is very unlikely, and doesn't seem to work with Kisame's backstory.

Madara ensured that Sasuke would win against Itachi.
Zetsu mentions that there's something off about Itachi before he dies - that he's fighting differently. Madara then tells Zetsu that he knew Sasuke would win. Sasuke - the one with the greater part of a decade's less experience; without the Mangekyou; without all the ANBU training... need I go on? Madara should have had no idea that Sasuke would win - Orochimaru hid from Akatsuki and it's unlikely that Sasuke would have gotten much training for Kirin in afterward. And Itachi is likely Kage-level... so why should HE be the underdog? Now I know that Zetsu said it was due to the Sharingan - lacking any other explanation, that's the only thing he could think of. But with Madara being a century (centuries?)-old immortal with a lifetime of pre-village training behind him, isn't it more likely (or at least more awesome - this IS WMG after all) that Madara ensured Sasuke's victory? (PS. As to why he would do this, Sasuke has been shown to be really easy to manipulate. Also, were Itachi to win, he'd also have the Eternal Mangekyou... and that would be too much an issue.)
 * Madara had to have known that Itachi was no longer taking his medicine to counteract the effects of the Mangekyou Sharingan and we know that he knew Itachi would never actually kill Sasuke. Itachi didn't want to win, so there's no way he could have won.
 * This theory follows the theory that Madara was lying about Itachi's motivations... probably should have stated that.
 * Itachi let Sasuke win. Tobi knew he would. End of story.

Tobi has an army of sleeper agents.
Yura was, from all perspective, a loyal member of the Sand Village, until the seal on his memories was removed. Then he was a loyal foot soldier for Akatsuki. Who knows how many of the other ninjas are like him? For all we know, one of the main characters could even be a sleeper agent.
 * This seems very plausible; considering that Madara was once a Mizukage and Akatsuki was formed in Kirigakure, it's pretty logical that he has some people on the inside there working for him.
 * Yura was Sasori's agent. Tobi doesn't seem to have any sleeper agents, and it's not likely he needs them. He does have an army of shapeshifting Zetsu clones though.

Among the several sudden alliances, the Leaf/Lightning Alliance will end badly
Alternatively, the 4th Raikage will either kill Sasuke or things will happen that make it look like he did. When Naruto, who is still holding out for hope of Sasuke being redeemed, comes onto the scene, he flips the fuck out and goes 7-Tails on the Raikage. This could possibly mean the end of "A", the Fourth Raikage.
 * Perhaps Hiashi Hyuuga will learn of it and, still remembering the incident with the foiled kidnapping attempt of Hinata, and his brother Hizashi's death because it, will make it known that he is against it. Violently against it. Raikage vs. Hiashi?
 * This may also be a Poor Communication Kills moment where we discover the Raikage was not in fact aware of all the details of the Hyuuga case, given that such an underhanded move is COMPLETELY out of character for him, and he has a scene with Hiashi and Neji that will tie into the recent theme of BREAKING chains of hatred and revenge rather than prolonging them.
 * During the meeting, the Raikage was visibly ticked when he learned that Ao had the byakugan. Implying that he wanted it. Either that or he was disgusted that The Mist had the magic eye that one of his high ranking jounin was killed over.
 * No, when he was screaming "You bastard" he was talking about Danzo, not Ao since he just figured from what Ao said that he was mind-controlling Mifune, vindicating his angered claim that Danzo could not be trusted.
 * This would be a very stupid and anticlimactic twist if it turned out true. Thankfully, it seems all but completely impossible at this point.

Naruto's ability to sense people's chakra isn't a Sage Technique, it's a Kekkei Genkai
We know Naruto has lousy chakra control, so he tends to muscle his way through techniques rather than master them with precision. Perhaps that's what he's doing here- he always had the ability to sense chakra, but Sage Mode gives him the chakra needed to extend its range to a distance that is actually useful in combat or persuit. Now, who is the only other character we've seen who has the ability to positively identify someone out of sight by the target's chakra signature? That right, Karin, someone who looks suspiciously like Kushina. I submit that Karin is an Uzumaki- Kushina's niece.
 * If Karin's power was genetic, why was she the only survivor when her village was burned down? Also, Shi, Ao, and Fu show that sensing chakra from long range is not an ability unique to one family, and the databooks says the technique Karin uses is ninjutsu (probably just something to help focus the power).
 * Same reason that Rock Lee was able to trounce Sasuke when they sparred before the Chuunin Exams- knowing that something is coming and being able to stop it are two very different things. Indeed, such power can become a curse when you see the fate developing and know you are powerless to stop it.
 * But then how did Karin herself get away if just knowing they were coming wasn't enough?
 * How old is Karin again? 16 or so? Then there is always the possiblity that she isn't Kushina's niece and that the someone sent her to live there...
 * See: This Fic
 * Torune, Shee and Inoichi also seem to be able to sense chakra.
 * No Kekkei Genkai for Naruto. He can do fine without it.

Itachi is the main villain
He is also the real leader of the Akatsuki, Madara was an illusion (which would explain his intangibility). Itachi was the real winner of the Sasuke-Itachi fight, he faked his own death and then put Sasuke into a genjutsu. He then fed Sasuke a completely bogus story about how the Konoha leaders were responsible for wiping out the Uchihas and how he, Itachi, was really a good guy, driving Sasuke into even deeper despair (he's just "killed off" his beloved brother, fellow Uchiha, one of the series' biggest woobies, how would you feel?). This was all in order to manipulate Sasuke into achieving Itachi's true goal, which is to destroy Konoha.
 * But, why didn't he just order Akatsuki to destroy Konoha? Hell, Deidara could've done it easily.
 * He could need the rest of them to do something else, maybe the Tailed Beasts collection will be important for something else later. Alternatively he's doing all of this specifically to screw with Sasuke.
 * Itachi has been confirmed dead due to being revived by Edo Tensei.

Itachi's gift is a replica of the Totsuka Sword.
Remember how Susanoo sealed away Orochimaru? It is possible Itachi gave Naruto a similar power to remove Sasuke's darkness.
 * We really haven't seen anything to indicate that Sasuke's darkness is an external force messing with him (especially since Orochimaru is gone now) so unless it's a sword/power capable of Therapy Jutsu - which would actually be perfect for Naruto - I don't see how that would help. Or, for that matter, why Itachi wouldn't just use it himself.
 * Uh, because he wanted to give his little brother a chance to work his own problems out without Serapii no Jutsu based aid?
 * Itachi knew Sasuke thought it was a good idea to run off with a guy who had an obvious Uchiha fetish, wouldn't stop talking about how much he wanted Sasuke's body, and then decided to take Orochimaru into his body where he had to constantly be on guard against escape attempts. He CLEARLY needed an intervention.
 * It turned out to be a Kotoamatsukami.