Back to the Future (film)/Funny

Part 1
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles an hour you're gonna see some serious shit."
 * Doc is testing out the DeLorean, explaining what he thinks will happen.

"Marty: You're my muhh... you're my muhh... Lorraine: My name is Lorraine. Lorraine Baines. Marty: Yeah... but you're hoo... you're so hooo, you're so... thin."
 * Marty McFly first meets his mother as an attractive teenage girl -- and immediately experiences a mini-Oedipal breakdown, not helped by the fact that she's obviously into him:

"Biff and Co.:"
 * When Biff and his gang are about to crash into a manure truck.

""My name is Darth Vader! I am an extraterrestial from the planet Vulcan!""
 * And also this gem:

""Better get used to these bars, kid.""
 * Not to mention Marty using a Walkman with a Van Halen tape as an Agony Beam, and the extended version of the scene (available on the 25th anniversary DVD) and passing off a hairdryer as a brain-melting gun. And the Brick Joke that Marty knocks George out with chloroform, and in the next scene George says he missed school because he overslept.
 * Marty finally meets his Uncle Joey:

"Marty: You know, this is the kind of thing that could screw me up permanently. What if I go back to the future and I end up bein'... gay? 50s Doc: Why shouldn't you be happy?"
 * And the follow-up, where Joey's mother says, "He cries whenever we try to take him out so we just leave him in there all the time."
 * Near the mid-point of the film Doc and Marty work out how they're going to get George and Lorraine together... only for Lorraine to turn up at Doc's house and tell Marty that a real man stands up for the woman he loves. As she's saying this, Doc leans forward onto the covered Delorean in what can be only be described as a full-body Face Palm.
 * Blink and you will miss it: The time machine is equipped with Goodyears tires.
 * A deleted scene, viewable in the various DVD and Blu-Ray releases:


 * Another deleted scene shows Marty peeking into a classroom window and seeing Lorraine cheating on a test. Even funnier is a joke version of the scene, in which Michael J. Fox acts like a "greaser".
 * "My God! Do you know what this means? ...It means that THIS DAMN THING DOESN'T WORK AT ALL!"
 * The flaming wind-up car running off the table and setting fire to some old rag. Doc's reaction is priceless.
 * "Lou, give me a milk! (dramatic pause) Chocolate!"
 * "You are my density."

Part 2
"Doc: I foresee two possibilities. One, coming face to face with herself 30 years older would put her into shock and she'd simply pass out. Or two, the encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that's a worst-case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to merely our own galaxy. Marty: Well, that's a relief."
 * Doc about what would happen if Jennifer meets her future self:


 * In the future, a scene occurs which mimics the manure truck scene mentioned above, only Griff (Biff's grandson) is the victim. Future Biff is a bystander and comments "There's something very familiar about all this."
 * "I think he took his wallet."
 * Mr. Strictland scolding Biff for putting alcohol in the punch, and then he goes inside and has a drink himself.
 * The entire scene between old and young Biff.
 * "I don't believe it!"
 * The 2015 dog-walker.
 * "Do we become assholes or something?" coupled with the look on Doc's face as if he's thinking about for a second.
 * I kinda like that he responds by saying Marty and Jennifer turn out fine, which we find out later is a complete lie.
 * Marty pulls the Newspaper Dating trick, only to find out it's alternate-1985 Mr Strickland's porch. The first thing he says, carrying a loaded gun and pointing it at Marty? "So you're the son of a bitch who's been stealing my newspapers!"

Part 3
"Cowboy: Do people still walk or run in the future? Doc: Of course we do, but for recreation. For fun. Cowboy: Run for fun? What the hell kind of fun is that?!"
 * Doc spilling the truth about the future after losing Clara.

"Marty: How many did he have? Bartender: Just the one. Marty: Just the one?! Bartender: Now there's a fella who can't hold his liquor."
 * The fact that Doc tells Marty the cardboard Indians at the drive-in won't be there in 1885 when he drives the DeLorean towards the movie screen... except they are, and they're REAL.
 * Marty running away from the bear is pure slapstick.
 * Doc passing out after drinking whiskey.

"Old-Timer #1: Take a look and see what just breezed in the door. Old-Timer #2: Well, I didn't know the circus was in town! Old-Timer #3: Musta gotten that shirt off'n a dead Chinese."
 * And then Doc's subsequent reaction to the "wake up juice."
 * The old-timers' reaction to seeing Marty in his goofy pink "Western" outfit:

"Doc: We'll drive the train towards Clayton...Shonash Ravine."
 * When Marty identifies Buford Tannen as "Mad Dog" Tannen, everybody in the saloon either runs away or hides under the tables.
 * Doc handwaving away the moral complications to train theft: "We're going to hija--borrow the locomotive..."
 * Also a brief Heroic BSOD when Doc momentarily remembers how he unintentionally changed history:

"Doc: "Please take care of Einstein for me. Einstein?!" Marty: "It's your dog, Doc.""
 * 1955!Doc reading the letter from 1885!Doc.


 * At the end of the same letter, 1885!Doc's rather heartfelt farewell to Marty is considered an in-universe Heartwarming Moment by Marty...and Doc's younger self. "I never knew I could write anything so touching." "I know, Doc, it's beautiful."