The Punisher/Funny

Mainstream

 * After Frank's run-in with Agent X and Outlaw, Frank is driving off, having stolen their clothes and left them in a phone booth. The "camera" pans to the stolen clothes in the back seat, then pans to Frank wearing Outlaw's hat and listening to country, with a completely serious look on his face.
 * He's basically a One Scene Wonder but his appearance in the Civil War was memorable:

Marvel Knights Series
"Spider-Man: Wha...what happen?
 * There are a lot in Welcome Back, Frank but the top one is probably The Punisher punching the polar bear.
 * During one of his (many) rematches with The Russian, Frank finds himself interrupted by Spider Man. Unable to fight the Russian toe-to-toe himself, he manages to hold Spidey up infront of him, using him as a shield as the Russian just wails on him. After the fight, as the confused and beaten Spidey regains consciousness...

Frank: We had a team-up. You were great."

"Joan: The ducks! The ducks!
 * While fighting off the Russian mob from Joan's cottage in the wilderness, Frank accidentally shoots Joan's ducks.

Frank: They had to go."

"(On first hearing of the Punisher) "Is he like Mighty Thor? I am fan of mighty Thor. He has big hammer, he seems like good Communist..."
 * Pretty much everything the Russian says:

(When offered ten million to kill the Punisher) "Ooooh. The Russian could buy many pairs of Levis with that amount. Many compact disks.""


 * The Russian's fight with Frank counts, too. Punching him as soon as soon as he opens the door, smacking Frank in the face with a toilet...it's hilarious.
 * What about Ma Gnucci leaping out of a burning building without arms or legs and trying to gnaw the Punisher's legs off? That, friends, is determination.

MAX Series
"O'Brien: I've been in jail for eighteen months. When we get through here, you want to go jump in the sack?
 * Castle and O'Brien hooking up in Up is Down.

Frank: (completely deadpan, with the same face he'd use to make a threat) Sure."

"O'Brien: You cold?
 * And in Man of Stone.

Frank: No.

O'Brien: You lonely?

Frank: No.

O'Brien: You want to jump my bones anyway?

Frank: Sure.

"Seem to remember telling myself this wasn't going to happen. But that was yesterday.""

"O'Brein: I'd like to fuck you right here and now, you know that?
 * Later, after they've slaughtered over half of Zhakharov's men, the two of them stand over the carnage -

Frank: Everything in moderation."

"Roth: Get in the fucking car, you prick!
 * Earlier, O'Brein and Roth rescue Frank Castle:

Caption: Best offer I'm likely to get all night."

"Bullseye's notepad:
 * MAX!Bullseye is a bottomless well of twisted, dark hilarity. After spending a few issues gushing over how great Frank is, they finally come face to face as Bullseye sits behind bullet-proof glass. After rambling inaudibly to Frank through the glass, he gets out a pen and paper...

[Frank reads, raises an eyebrow and silently pulls out and sticks a chunk of C4 on the glass]

Bullseye's notepad:"

"Mayor: Well, what's the good news?
 * During Castle's rampage in Up is Down, Black Is White

Johnathan: Crime's down.

Mayor: Fuck you, Johnathan."