Kung Fu Panda 2/Funny

"Po: (challenges are heard in mumbles at the bottom)
 * Mr. Ping mentioned that when Po was little, he ate his imported bamboo furniture.
 * Not to mention "I took you inside, fed you, gave you a bath, and fed you again...and again, and tried to put some pants on you. And then I made a decision that would change my life forever. To make my soup without radishes, and to raise you as my own son. Xiao Po, my little panda."
 * The painting of Ping giving baby Po a piggyback ride. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
 * Po's, accentuated by the Five's absolutely astounded expressions both times (particularly Crane's). The clincher is that during the second time, Ox and Croc are just as stunned.
 * When Po, he challenges Shen from the top of a rooftop to the waterway below. But given the height, neither Shen nor his men can understand what Po's saying.

Shen: WHAT?!"

""DISC OF DESTRUCTION!!""
 * Followed by Po's... er... unsuccessful attempt at Weaponized Headgear.

"Po: Look, I don't know who you are, but please stand aside sir.
 * When Po first meets the Soothsayer

Viper: That's a lady.

Po: Oh!... Sorry! The beard threw me, it's kind of misleading. False advertising..."

"Po: I just found out that my dad isn't really my dad.
 * When Po and Tigress have the heart-to-heart/training session on the boat.

Tigress: ...your dad?

Po: (nods)

Tigress: The goose.

Po: (nods again)

Tigress: (no change of tone or expression whatsoever) ...That must have been quite a shock."

"Shen: Greetings, Panda, we meet at--
 * Lord Shen is practicing the speech he'll give to a defeated Po. Then a huge shadow appears on the staircase, accompanied by growls and panting. Shen nervously reaches for one of his knives and...it turns out to be one of his gorilla Mooks carrying Po, exhausted from the dozens of stairs leading up to Shen's throne room.

Po: (interrupting, barely glancing at him) Hey, how ya doin'?

Shen: *incredibly annoyed look* H-hey..."

"Po: My old enemy... stairs."
 * Not to mention the line leading up to this scene:

"Po: Hey.
 * He did throw up a little on the third floor, so it may be justified.
 * Po and the Furious Five attempt "Stealth Mode". Unfortunately, stealth isn't Po's strong point. So he hijacks a parade dragon costume. Hilarity Ensues. Sincerity Mode.
 * They bump into a wolf shaking down a vendor.
 * Heck, even Po's initial attempts at "stealth mode" count!

Wolf: Hey.

Double Take. "Hey You!" Haymaker. Po drags wolf into costume's mouth, and he and the Five beat him up and toss him out the back AKA Dragon eats wolf and craps him out.

Rabbit kid witnessing the above: Eeeugh!"

""Well, son...baby geese come from a little egg... and don't ask me where the eggs come from, because--!""
 * Then the poor kid sees the dragon grab a sheep lady to ask it a question and proceeds to freak right out.
 * When Po and the Five then proceed to beat up Shen's wolf minions (long story short) Pacman style! Heck, the entire chase through Gongmen can count as this, like the rickshaw chase between Po and the Wolf Boss.
 * Mantis's Badass Boast after snuffing out the fuse to Shen's cannon: "Fear the bug!"
 * The blink-and-you'll-miss-it "I got my eye on you" gesture Po delivers to Shen right before his final blow at the end.
 * Po (in Slow Motion): "I love you guys!"
 * Mantis claiming that his dad had his head bitten off by his mom - then later saying that he'd wanted to have the same fate.
 * Right after the he realizes that
 * Even though
 * In one scene, Po asks his adoptive father where he came from, and....

"Shifu: At last, you have achieved inner peace...and at such a young age.
 * "You're not getting us out of this cell!" (Beat) "..."
 * Shifu, near the end.

Po: I had a good teacher."

"Soothsayer: If you continue on your current path, you will find yourself...at the bottom of the stairs. I see....I see... (plucks one of Shen's feathers) Pain.
 * Attempted Glomp, Offscreen Teleportation, satisfied smirk.
 * "Inner peace." (raindrop) "Pea..." (raindrop) "Inner peace." (raindrop) "AAARRRRRARGRRAUGRRHHHHH!!" (more raindrops, beat) "RRRRRARGRRAUGRRHHHHH!!" (Po starts beating his head on the mast) "Inner peace! Inner peace! Innerpeaceinnerpeaceinnerpeaceinnerpeaceinnerpeacerrarrugrarrhghh!"
 * SPLASH!
 * (Raindrop)
 * Shifu reflects on Oogway selecting Po back in the previous movie, and not even trying to sugarcoat it even when Po is right there.
 * "What signs? So...(bonk)...many...(bonk)...signs..."
 * Most of the fight with the Wolf Boss is this and Crowning Moment of Awesome.
 * Unfortunately, the quote is from a Missing Trailer Scene.
 * Only the "what signs?" part. The second part is still there, but it does lose something.
 * The bean bun scene at the start of the movie.
 * Among the many questions Po has about his mysterious childhood, he wants to know why he didn't like pants.
 * Soothsayer takes a bite out of Lord Shen's robes. When he tells her not to do that, she waits for a while before doing it again.
 * Her "fortune-telling" in that scene.

Shen: Ow!

Soothsayer: And anger. (takes a bite of Shen's robe)

Shen: How dare you! That is the finest silk in the province!

Soothsayer: Followed by denial.

Shen: This isn't fortune-telling! You're just saying what's happening right -

Soothsayer: Now?"

"Shen: The Year of the Peacock begins now!
 * And then about 30 seconds later... she does it again, to the tune of Shen's priceless combination of frustration and annoyance. "Will you stop that?!"
 * Shen and the Wolf Boss's little scene about "The Year of the Peacock".

Wolf Boss: Right now? But it's the middle of the year, so you'd only get, like, half a year.

Shen: (points a knife at his throat)

Wolf Boss: And this is, the Year, of course, of the Peacock. Happy New Year, sir. (Cue dorkish face.)"

"Po: Tell those musicians to start playing some action music, cuz it is on!
 * The lead-up to the fight at the musician's village.

Tigress: And no snack stops this time.

Po: Pfft, snack stops, haha. (beat) Wait, you're serious?"

"Po: (frustrated) Monkey!
 * This troper found Wolf Boss's preoccupation with Po's fuzzy and plushy build hilarious.
 * Monkey saying he'll warn the group of any approaching threats with a "Caw-CAW, Caw-KEE!" like Crane's. Crane momentarily gets a bit huffy ("'Scuse me, when have I ever said that?"), but the payoff comes when Monkey is too distracted and lets the enemy get too close.

Monkey: (Weakly) Eh-heh... caw-caw?"

"Shen: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.
 * The funny exchange between Po and Shen when they first meet. (DVD Commentary states that this scene is the only scene that was done with two people in an recording room. Jack Black and Gary Oldman ladies and gents!)

Po: Well, thank you, but I find your evilness extremely annoying!

Shen: Who do you think you are, panda?

Po: Who do you think I am, peacock? (Both start laughing, taking turns) Why are we laughing?"


 * "MONKEY! VIPER! MANTIS! CRANE! BUNNY!" Double Take by all involved.