Superman: The Animated Series/Quotes

The Last Son of Krypton

 * Jor-El: By my calculations these tremors are sign that Krypton is falling apart.
 * Science Council Member: Let us see what Brainiac has to say about it.
 * Brainiac: The tremors are simply result of Krypton's plates converging. That is all.
 * Science Council Member: There you have it. Brainiac is always right.
 * Jor-El: I have double-checked my experiments multiple times! Your faith in Brainiac will doom the Kryptonian race.
 * Chief Councilman: Jor-El, suppose there is a slim chance Krypton might actually explode. What do you propose be done?
 * Jor-El: Put everyone in the Phantom Zone.
 * Science Council scoffs at such a ridiculous proposal
 * Sul-Van: You honestly expect every Kryptonian man, woman and child to take up residence among criminals?


 * Kryptonian Policeman: Where did Jor-El go?
 * Brainiac: It does not matter anymore. Farewell, Krypton.
 * ''Brainiac goes offline

 . Krypton gets yet another tremor''
 * Kryptonian Policeman: Not another one?
 * Sul-Van: No, the last one


 * Lana Lang: You're saying you can see through walls? So, how many times have you peeked into the girls' locker room?


 * Perry White: Good timing, Lois. I want you to be the first to know that I'm hiring a new guy on the city desk.
 * Lois: Is he cute?
 * Perry White: Um... you tell me.
 * Lois: [spins around and sees Clark] Oh, hi.


 * Perry White: This is the guy, Lois, Clark Kent from Smallville.
 * Lois: Smallville? Never heard of it.
 * Clark: Have you ever been to Kansas?
 * Lois: God, no!


 * Superman: [Trying to save a plane, the tail he's holding rips off] Nice one, Clark.


 * Clark Kent: Now that the terrorists have your prototype, the Pentagon is undoubtedly gonna want you to build a bigger and better version for them. When all is said and done, this could net you a multimillion dollar windfall.
 * Lex Luthor: Lois, it almost sounds as if your friend here is suggesting I should be glad that my suit was stolen. You're very amusing, Mr.... Kent, is it? Yes, I'll remember that.


 * Lois: Nice work, Smallville. You're only the second person I've ever seen get under Lex's skin.
 * Clark: Who's the first?
 * Lois: Me. When I dumped him.
 * Clark: Whoa.


 * Lois: Listen, Bibbo. [Takes out some change] Take this and call Clark Kent at the Planet, let him know where I am, and tell him to call Police Commissioner Henderson if he doesn't hear from me in twenty minutes.  Got that?  Twenty minutes.
 * Bibbo: Um...
 * Lois: Thanks, Bibbo, I owe you one.  [Leaves]
 * Bibbo: Yeah, yeah, sure. [To himself] Call Kirk Kent, know about the boat, and said somethin' about the police... [Sees a soda machine]  Hey!  Soda.  [Looks at change; shrugs] She'll be okay.


 * Lois: Nice 'S'.
 * Clark: Excuse me?


 * After a lengthly battle with Corben in the Lexo-Skel. Superman breaks in and rips Corben out of the seat, holding him up by the throat
 * Superman: Shall we go a few rounds without the suit?


 * Clark Kent: Does this mean I'm going to have to give up my life?
 * Jonathan: It doesn't matter where you were, or what you can do, you'll always be Clark Kent. Superman just helps out now and then.
 * Martha: Still, it would be bad if people knew a little more about Superman. I don't want anyone thinking you're like that nut in Gotham City.


 * Lois: You sound too good to be true. What's your secret?
 * Superman: What do you mean?
 * Lois: Well, you don't go around in blue tights and a cape all the time, do you? What do you do in your off hours?
 * Superman: I think that's a question for another time.

Fun and Games

 * Toyman: A childhood is a terrible thing to lose, Miss Lane, but I'm getting mine back... with a vengeance.


 * Toyman: Miss Lane, pay attention to the story. And take good notes.
 * Toyman hands Lois a kittykat style notepad suited for little girls. Toyman then shows a pop-up book
 * Toyman: There once was a kindly old man who loved nothing more than making toys for good little boys and girls. His goal was to build the world's most wonderful toy factory. But he had no money. Along came a man, a very bad man, pop up of Bruno Mannheim holding a wad of cash and with devil horns who offered the kindly toymaker the money to build the factory.
 * Cut to Daily Planet office
 * Jimmy Olsen: Winslow Schott Senior, through capital funded by Bruno Mannheim, owned and managed a large toy factory in the industrial area of Metropolis. Mannheim used it as a front for his numbers racket. It says here the FBI eventually investigated the illegal gambling.
 * Cut to Toyman's hideout
 * Toyman: The bad man laughed as the nice old man was taken away and thrown in the dungeon!
 * Cut to Daily Planet
 * Headline: TOYMAKER SENTENCED TO TEN YEARS
 * Clark Kent: Sounds like Mannheim played Schott for a patsy. It says here although Bruno Mannheim was named as the chief suspect in the illegal operations, he was able to skip town and take advantage of his political connections to take the heat off himself.
 * Jimmy Olsen: Schott faced the full force of the law and got jail time.
 * Clark Kent: So he is Toyman!
 * Jimmy Olsen: Uh, Clark, I do not think he is. Look at this.
 * Presents the obituary of Winslow Schott Sr.
 * Clark Kent: The poor guy passed away shortly before he became eligible for parole. It says he was a widower and had no living relatives save for one son...Winslow Schott Junior!
 * Cut to Toyman's hideout
 * Toyman: The son was bounced around from foster home to foster home, like a toy nobody wanted!

A Little Piece of Home

 * A helicopter lands atop a high-rise, Treasury agent and security guards get out
 * Treasury Agent: OK, all set. Transfer of $100 plates from the U.S. Mint in Gotham to the U.S. Mint in Metropolis ready to occur.
 * Hired Muscle: Hand them over!
 * Treasury agent complies
 * Treasury Agent: I hope you know that this building is under armed guard and police surviellance. There is no way you get down from here.
 * Hired goon activates LexCorp jetpack and rocket boots and flies into air
 * Hired Muscle: Who said anything about going down?


 * (Clark stands in front of some rocks he thinks to be Kryptonite)
 * Clark: Nothing's happening.
 * Old lady: You were expecting them to dance for you?

Feeding Time

 * Parasite: (to Superman) Good evening... dinner.


 * Parasite: Good to see you again, Superman - or should I say "Clark"? That's right, Kent. I got your powers, I got your thoughts, and I got your secret.

The Way of All Flesh

 * Ralph: Mr. Corben, I hope you don't mind me asking, but after all these months I just gotta know. How do you rate all this?
 * John Corben: Ralph, the trick is to never underestimate the value of a good friend, and always keep your mouth shut.


 * Superman: (about Corben's new invulnerability) How did you do it, Corben? A drug? Some kind of operation?
 * Corben: Elective surgery. Jealous?
 * Superman: Hardly, since you'll soon be back in prison.
 * (He tries to restrain Corben, but is met with suprisingly effective resisitance)
 * Corben: I'm as strong as you are now!
 * Superman: Almost...
 * Corben: No, stronger!
 * (A panel on Corben's chest opens, revealing a kryptonite heart and weakening Superman)
 * Corben: What's the matter, guy? You're looking a little green at the gills.
 * (He chuckles, and then knocks Superman backward with a single punch)
 * Corben: I think you are jealous of me. Because now I'm the real Man of Steel!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Corben: You humiliated me, Superman. Took me in by the scruff of the neck like I was a kid. Now it's payback time.

<hr width=50%/>
 * (Now insane from lack of feeling, Corben observes the synthetic flesh covering his metallic body)
 * Corben: It's all fake... (starts tearing it away) A FRAUD! There's the reality! The metal behind the man! It's all I am now! It's who I am: Metallo.

Stolen Memories

 * Brainiac: I apologize for any discomfort, but it was important that I accurately gauge your powers.
 * Superman: Why? Morbid curiosity?
 * Brainiac: Curiosity, yes. Morbid, hardly. You see, we have more in common than you could possibly know, Kal-El.
 * Superman: How do you know my name? Have you been to Krypton?
 * Brainiac: I am Krypton.

The Main Man

 * Lois Lane: I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town.
 * Clark Kent: Well, Lois, the truth is, I'm actually Superman in disguise and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen, and then squeeze you out of the byline.
 * Lois: You're a sick man, Kent.
 * Clark: You asked.

<hr width=50%/>


 * (Lobo waits for Superman, firing a high-powered weapon around the room to attract his attention)
 * Lobo: (yawns) This is gettin' lame. I thought he'd be here by now. Whoa, mosquito! (Fires weapon)

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lobo: Finally! Been tryin' to get in touch with you all day.
 * Superman: Who are you?!
 * Lobo: Oh, I'm sorry. My card. (punches Superman in the face)

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lobo: The name's Lobo. That's L as in "Lacerate", O as in "Obliterate", B as in "disem-Bowel" and O as in, uh... Well, I guess I can use "Obliterate" twice, huh? What do you think?
 * Superman: I think you're a certifiable madman.
 * Lobo: Thanks.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lobo: You actually care about them geeks!
 * Superman: They're human beings.
 * Lobo: Yeah, well, they're gonna have to make do without their big blue babysitter from now on. You see, someone's paying me a heap of cash for your carcass, and the Main Man always delivers.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lobo: (about to attack Superman) Now, the more you move, the worse it'll hurt. So feel free to go crazy!

<hr width=50%/>


 * The Preserver: There is one more creature I would like to add to my collection: The last Czarnian.
 * Lobo: Ha! That's rich! I'm the last Czarnian! [to Superman] I fragged the whole planet for my high school science project. Gave myself an "A".

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lobo: (after Superman frees him) Hey, Blue, thanks.
 * (Lobo punches Superman)
 * Superman: What was that for?!
 * Lobo: Didn't want you to think I'm going soft on ya.

<hr width=50%/>


 * (Superman and Lobo hiding from robots' laser fire)
 * Superman: We need a decoy to draw their fire.
 * Lobo: (shoving Superman out in front of the robots) Eee-lected!

My Girl

 * Lois: Look at that.  Tuh!  The only thing holding that dress up is faith.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lois: It's the paparazzi wolves trying to get a scent of Lex's latest lady friend.  Not that I read the gossip columns or anything, but I hear they're quite an item.  Maybe I should warn her about him... nah.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lana Lang: Hmm. Red, blue, yellow. Primary, but it works in a superheroish kind of way. Let me guess, Martha sewed it for you.
 * Superman: What?!
 * Lana Lang: By the way, Clark, how are the folks?

Tools of the Trade

 * Cpt. Maggie Sawyer: Dan is a difficult man to work with.
 * Clark Kent: Are you not concerned that he just quit?
 * Cpt. Maggie Sawyer: If I had a dime for every time Dan turned in his badge I would have enough money to make Lex Luthor look like a pauper.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Angela Chen: "We?" Well, it looks like Superman saved your skin again.
 * Superman: Other way around! If it wasn't for Dan Turpin, I wouldn't be standing here tonight. Thanks.
 * Det. Daniel Turpin: Anytime pal.
 *  People takes Turpin seriously, as it was Turpin who saved Superman from certain death at the hands of Kanto and Mannheim
 * Lois Lane: Where's Mannheim?
 * Det. Daniel Turpin: I think he's Somewhere beyond our jurisdiction.
 * Cut to Mannheim following Kanto in a strange place of fire and brimstone
 * Bruno Mannheim: Where in God's name are we?
 * Kanto: That depends. Which 'god' are you talking about?
 * Bruno Mannheim: Listen buddy, I'm through with these games, I want some answers!. You're gonna tell me who you work for?!
 *  Kanto shows Bruno Mannheim who's master was. Cut to Darkseid standing atop a pillar''
 * Darkseid: Welcome to Apokolips, Mr. Mannheim.
 * Bruno Mannheim: Who are you?
 * Darkseid: Your new Lord and Master. You may call me... Darkseid.
 * Mannheim quivers in fear

Two's a Crowd

 * Parasite: You want me to go into this guy's mind and try to find out where the bomb is. No skin off my nose. But I want something in return.
 * Superman: What's that?
 * Parasite: Something to help the time go faster in this dump... and not a bunch of boring books either. I want cable and the premium channels.

Blasts from the Past

 * Jax-Ur: I must say it seems a shame to kill the one other survivor of Krypton. I'd offer you a place in our new order, but something tells me you'd turn it down.
 * Superman: Guess you're not as dumb as you look.

The Prometheon

 * Professor Hamilton: What do you have against him, Hardcastle?
 *  General Hardcastle: He's an alien. He has no allegiance, no jurisdiction. I don't trust what I can't control, Hamiliton, and I don't like what I can't trust.

<hr width=50%/>
 * (After an explosion)
 * Jimmy Olsen: Sonic boom? Earthquake?
 * Lois Lane: Maybe Perry had chili for lunch again.

Speed Demons

 * Lois Lane: Flash! Do you really think you stand a chance against the Man of Steel?
 * The Flash: Man of Steel, Feet of lead!

Livewire

 * Livewire: (after being tackled by Superman) At least now we know you hit girls!

Identity Crisis

 * Superman's Imposter: It's a date.
 * Lois Lane: (Imposter flies off) A date?(seems to realizing that Superman likes her) Huh. Must be this new perfume.

<hr width=50%/>


 * [Lois sees cryonic tubes full of Superman clones]
 * Lois Lane: Your own army of Supermen?!
 * Lex Luthor: Precisely Miss Lane. Do you remember when your admirer fought the mechanical dinosaur?
 * Lois Lane: Gosh, how could I forget it?
 * Lex Luthor: Well, he was so weakened from the Kryptonite he actually bled. And from those few humble drops of blood my scientists have been able to clone his Kryptonian DNA. Remarkable.
 * Lois Lane: All accountable to you! Let me guess, world domination?
 * [Lex Luthor guffaws]
 * Lex Luthor: No, too obvious! Rather, I plan to share my services with anyone who calls the LexCorp hotline. Anyone who needs saving, gets it. For a fee, of course. They would be on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. [motions to Bizarro] All except this...technical difficulty.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Bizarro: What am me?
 * Mercy Graves: Bizarro, that's what you am.
 * Bizarro: No Bizarro! Me am Superman! Me show!
 * [Bizarro smashes roof]
 * Lex Luthor: [To Mercy] That's coming out of your pay.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Bizarro: [Struggling to support crumbling roof] Me hold... you go. Me no am Superman. You am Superman! Superman - save Lois!
 * Lois: You are a hero.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lois: Do you think he survived?
 * Superman: I am unsure. I have never been in a blast that powerful. One fact is certain, he had a good heart.
 * Lois: He should. He came from good stock.

Mxyzpixilated

 * Superman: I can't even say your name forward. How am I supposed to say it backward?
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: No, dope! You don't have to say it backwards! You've got to get me to say it!
 * Superman: Say what?
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: KLTPZYXM!!! Gosh, you're thick! Now, for the last time-- (realizes his mistake) Ah, nuts. (disappears)

<hr width=50%/>


 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: Your three months are up. And this time, you're not gonna cheat me out of my fun!
 * Superman: Oh, it's you again, Mr. Kltpzyxm.
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: Not Kltpzyxm! Mxyzptlk!! Now the first thing I'm gonna do-- (realizes) Oh, nuts! (disappears)

<hr width=50%/>


 * [After Mxyzptlk goes to defeat Superman, piloting a giant robot that took him three months to build]
 * Gsptlsnz: Five, four, three...
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: (reappears) NUTS, NUTS, NUTS!!! (to Gsptlsnz) Not one word.

Action Figures

 * Metallo: Lois Lane. I'd give you a kiss, if I still had my lips.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lois Lane: You'll never get away with this, Corben!
 * Metallo: Miss Lane, please! Such cliches! How ever did you win that Pulitzer?

Double Dose

 * (A janitor is listening to his Walkman)
 * Livewire: Psst! Hey, Mr. Clean!... Yow, Rap Master Danny?... HEY, STUPID!
 * Janitor: (takes his headphones off) Huh?
 * Livewire: I love a man who knows his limitations...

<hr width=50%/>


 * Livewire: Uh, uh. You can look, but don't touch.
 * Parasite: Don't be afraid. I know how to control my power.
 * Livewire: That's what they all say.

Solar Power

 * (Lytener is escaping from prison)
 * Guard: That's close enough, Lytener.
 * Lytener: Close enough to what? I'm not even here. (He vanishes)

<hr width=50%/>
 * Luminus: (to Superman) You'll realize what I've done to you soon enough. See you soon (vanishes) even if you don't see me.

Brave New Metropolis

 * Alternate Lex Luthor: (Referring to Lois Lane) The insolence. The outright rudeness. She's definitely the genuine article.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lois Lane: So, I am Lois Lane, but I'm not the Lois Lane that you knew...
 * Alternate Superman: Ever since you-- she died I've wondered if there were other dimensions out there. Other versions of me... and you.
 * Lois Lane: Hold it! I may be a lot like your Lois, but you're nothing like the Superman I know! He's no tyrant.
 * Alternate Superman: I had to take control, there was no other way. For too long I fooled myself into thinking I was just doing a simple clean-up job. And if I did enough good, people would follow my example. I didn't realize it was a war. And suddenly you were a casualty of that war. And I knew I had to stop it by whatever means possible.

<hr width=50%/>
 * (After Lois was returned back to her world)
 * Superman: So that was me?
 * Lois Lane: Yes. And... no. It-it's complicated. I could explain it over dinner.
 * Superman: Dinner? Are we getting a little personal?
 * Lois Lane: Better now than never...

Monkey Fun

 * Lois Lane: Titano!!! Remember me? Lolo?
 * Clark Kent: Lolo?!
 * Lois Lane: I was eight, okay?

<hr width=50%/>
 * Maggie Sawyer: Criminals, madmen and aliens we can handle, but this?

Ghost in the Machine

 * Brainiac: I had to make ways to get your attention.
 * Lex Luthor: There is always email!
 * Brainiac: I have been using these robots to rebuild my damaged frame, but they are far too crude to complete the job. I need your hands, and your brilliance.
 * Lex Luthor: Fat chance! I will not lift one finger to help the likes of you.
 * Brainiac seals door, but Lex keeps his calm
 * Lex Luthor: I am the CEO of one of the world's foremost multinational corporations. Do you not think someone will notice I am missing?
 * Brainiac: No one is irreplaceable. Allow me to demonstrate.
 * Brainiac generates a hologram of Lex Luthor sitting in his office, then accesses phone lines
 * Mercy Graves: Hello?
 * Hologram: Miss Graves, I am still conducting my investigation and I do not wish to be disturbed.
 * Mercy Graves: Yes sir.
 * Mercy hangs up phone while the real Lex Luthor watches in horror
 * Brainiac: Well then, shall we begin?

<hr width=50%/>
 * Clark Kent: Granted, Lois, Luthor does lots of strange things, but what reason could he possibly have for trying to fool his own bodyguard?
 * Lois Lane: Maybe he needed some space. Haven't you ever noticed the way she hovers around him all the time?
 * Clark Kent: But that's her job.
 * Lois Lane: It's no wonder why you're still single, Kent.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Brainiac: Your efficiency has been markedly decreasing. Care to explain why?
 * Lex Luthor: I am not an infernal machine! I need food and rest!
 * Brainiac: There is no time for rest, but if it is food you need, I can accomodate you on that.
 * Brainiac uses laser to blast open vending machines. Lex treats the snack food and sodas like a feast, then looks in shock at his reflection in the broken glass, which shows a stubbly face and raccoon eyes, a far cry from the powerful CEO image he shows to the public

Father's Day

 * [Flying in, after Darkseid has just vaporized his son, Kalibak]
 * Superman: What have you done to him? [Pause; no response] I asked you a question. Who are you? [Smile; no response] Answer me!
 * Darkseid: [attacks Superman with his Omega Beams, frying him until he's on the ground, writhing] That is who I am.

World's Finest

 * Terrorist: Let's make an example of this hero. A very tragic example, I'm afraid, Miss...?
 * Lois Lane: Lane.
 * Terrorist: Lane? Lois Lane? The one Superman always saves?
 * Lois Lane: 'Fraid so.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lois Lane: Um...Superman?
 * Superman: Yes?
 * Lois Lane: Um, how can I put this...I was just thinking, it might be nice to see each other when I wasn't--I don't know, falling out a window or something. Not that I'm not grateful for all the times you've helped me, you understand.
 * Superman: I understand.
 * Lois Lane: You do?
 * [explosion in the distance, bank robbers getting away]
 * Superman: It's the First National Bank.
 * Lois Lane: You better go. People might-- [Superman takes off] --get hurt. [starts walking dejectedly away] I understand, Lois. Really, you do! Yep, you're a complete moron. Why, thank you, Superman, I think I'm a total loser too...geez.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Joker: [to Luthor] I sense we are kindred spirits, you and I. Oh, there are differences, to be sure... like hair.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Joker: Pay me one billion dollars, and I'll kill Superman!
 * Lex Luthor: (laughs) What makes you think you can kill Superman when you can't even handle a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?
 * Joker: [grabs him angrily] There's nothing "mere" about that mortal!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Clark Kent: I hear Wayne's deal with Lexcorp could run into the billions. He's a high roller.
 * Lois Lane: I hear he's nothing but Gotham trash. Rich, spoiled, and... [Bruce Wayne walks off the plane] Absolutely gorgeous!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lex Luthor: The joint chiefs have shown tremendous interest. It doesn't take much imagination to envision these robots on the battlefield.
 * Bruce Wayne: Except... I won't allow it.
 * Lex Luthor: What?
 * Bruce Wayne: I don't like guns.
 * Bruce Wayne: Blame it on me, Lex. Tell your pals at the Pentagon... I just don't have the imagination.
 * Bruce Wayne: Blame it on me, Lex. Tell your pals at the Pentagon... I just don't have the imagination.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Bruce Wayne: So, he just appears when there's trouble? No special signal?
 * Lois Lane: He's not like your Batman, thank goodness.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman: I heard you were crazy. I didn't think you were stupid. [uses X-ray vision to see through Batman's cowl] Bruce Wayne?
 * Batman: You peeked.

<hr width=50%/>
 * (Later the same evening in his apartment, Clark removes his Superman costume and is startled to discover a tracking device concealed on it. As he looks up in angry surprise he spots a dark shape in the far distance, observing him through binoculars from atop a skyscraper. Superman focuses his vision on the distant figure. It's Batman. The dark knight throws him a casual salute, and leaps away.)
 * Clark Kent: Touché.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lois Lane: Clark, keep an eye on Bruce, will you? I'll be right back.
 * Clark Kent: Actually, Lois-
 * Lois Lane: Don't be intimidated. Regale him with madcap tales of the nightlife in Smallville.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Clark Kent: Let's just say I'm concerned. Your reputation is... dubious, in and out of costume.
 * Bruce Wayne: Don't worry, I'm taking Lois quite seriously. [leans down] Besides, it seems to me you had your chance.

<hr width=50%/>


 * [Superman busts into a Lexcorp lab]
 * Joker: More powerful than a locomotive...and just about as subtle.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Joker: [to an incapacitated Superman] Feel free to expire at any time!

<hr width=50%/>


 * Superman: Thank you. I couldn't have saved Lois without your help.
 * Batman: I'm aware of that.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Bruce Wayne: I could always...ask him.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lois Lane: [just saw Batman unmasked] So when were you gonna tell me--the honeymoon?

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lois Lane: How could you've lied to me like that?
 * Bruce Wayne: Now, I never actually said I wasn't Batman... (she smacks the cut on his back) Ow!

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lois Lane: I'll get some iodine for that scrape. Burning, stinging iodine.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Superman: I see she's taking it well.
 * Bruce Wayne: It's ironic, you know. She likes Bruce Wayne, and she likes Superman. It's the other two guys she's not crazy about.
 * Superman: Too bad we can't mix and match.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Joker: Look at all the toys! Santa's been good to you, Lex.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Batman: See anything?
 * Superman: Luthor's been lining his buildings with lead. It blocks my x-ray vision.
 * Batman: Well, there's always the direct approach.
 * [Superman punches in the door, and bows Batman inside]
 * Batman: You're learning.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Joker: Batman. It's always Batman!

<hr width=50%/>


 * [The Lexwing has just crashed into the ocean, exploding, with the Joker inside]
 * Harley Quinn: Puddin'!
 * Batman: At this point, he probably is.

<hr width=50%/>


 * [Harley Quinn is in a straightjacket and being placed in a padded wagon]
 * Harley Quinn:I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!

<hr width=50%/>


 * Bruce Wayne: Come to make sure I'm leaving?
 * Clark Kent: Actually, I thought we worked pretty well together. Not that I want to make it a regular event.
 * Bruce Wayne: She's all yours, now--if you can handle that. But you'd better be good to her, 'cause I know where you live.

The Hand of Fate

 * Jimmy Olsen: What do I need a picture of? Luthor kissing a donkey?!

Bizarro's World

 * Bizarro: Me make Krypton. Then me am home!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lois Lane: So, what is all this?
 * Bizarro: It am Dada's house on Krypton.
 * Lois Lame: Krypton? You remember Krypton?
 * Bizarro: It Shinny Ball show me. It say me am Kal-El, and it show me baby me.
 * Superman: Unfortunately "Shinny Ball" was confused at the time.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman confronts Bizarro while wearing his anti-Kryptonite suit
 * Superman: Hey Bizarro, I have something for you. Catch!
 * Superman tosses a hunk of Kryptonite at Bizzaro, who effortlessly catches it
 * Bizarro: Thanks! Ooh, rock is pretty!
 * Superman{to Lois}: Our DNA must be too dissimilar.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Bizarro: This am nice. Superman, Krypto, Dada, Lois, all here with me. Oh, Krypton pretty. So sad it have to blow up...

<hr width=50%/>
 * Bizarro has stolen a nuclear warhead from a military base and is aiming it at Metropolis
 * Superman: Bizarro! You are going to kill millions of people!
 * Bizarro: That how Krypton end!
 * Superman: Lois is not on Krypton.
 * Bizarro realizes the mistake he made, then works with Superman to get the warhead safely disposed of
 * Superman: Now, would you like to hear the rest of the story?
 * Superman has taken Bizarro to a lush green planet circled by ringed moons
 * Superman: You can defend this planet. It is all yours.
 * Bizarro: This crummy planet! How can me be defender of planet when there is no one here to defend?
 * Superman: I thought of that issue. Which is why I brought you a friend.
 * Superman opens hatch on spaceship to reveal one of the animals from the Preserver's ship
 * Bizarro: Krypto!

Prototype

 * Lois Lane: Looks like he's got them in the palm of his hand.
 * Superman: They better be careful he doesn't make a fist.

The Late Mr. Kent

 * Clark Kent: (Narrating) Dinner was hard to pass up. I hadn't eaten all day.  Not that I needed to.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Clark: (Narrating) I suppose I could've flown to the governor as Superman and given him the disk, but that could've raised some awkward questions. Maybe there was some ego to it, too.  I wanted this to be Clark's victory.  Not Superman's.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Jonathan Kent: It's not like he's really dead, Martha. He just can't be Clark anymore.
 * Clark: But I am Clark. I need to be Clark.  I'd go crazy if I had to be Superman all the time!

<hr width=50%/>


 * Bowman has been sentenced to die
 * Bowman{talking to himself}: How could Clark Kent have survived the bomb I planted? How, how?!
 * Bowman's eyes suddenly open wide
 * Bowman{talking to himself}: HE IS SUPERMAN!
 * Executioner pulls switch

Heavy Metal

 * Metallo: Do you remember how you left me, Superman? Buried under all that rock? I couldn't move, couldn't see, couldn't hear. But I could think. And all I could think about was how I was going to make you pay! So long, hero!

<hr width=50%/>


 * (Steel and Metallo meet face to face)
 * Metallo: Well, what have we here?
 * Steel: Call me... Steel.
 * Metallo: Steel, Metallo. The meeting of the metals. Well then, Mr. Steel, may the best alloy win!

Warrior Queen

 * Maxima: I am the Lady Maxima, Royal Queen, Head of the Royal House, and leader of all Almerac. Feel free to bow.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Superman: Well, this isn't Almanac.
 * Maxima: Almerac.
 * Superman: Whatever.  Here on Earth, marriage isn't something you can command.  Marriage is a willing partnership where husbands and wives share the decisions and sacrifices.
 * Lady at Window: What planet is he from?

<hr width=50%/>


 * Maxima: I have the power to do as I please!
 * Superman: And the responsibility to do what is right! As leader, you serve the people. They don't serve you.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Maxima: This time D'cine, it's no game. This time, I kill you.
 * Superman: Maxima-
 * Maxima: I... don't kill him? [Superman shakes his head] I... lock him up? [Brightens] For a really long time!

<hr width=50%/>


 * Lobo: I'm here to get that fraggin', scum-sucking, rat-scratching D'cine, and nobody better stop me!
 * Maxima: Yow!

Apokolips...Now!

 * Darkseid: I did not return you to earth so you could indulge in petty theft.
 * Bruno Manheim: Petty?! We cleared over twenty million!
 * Darkseid: I play for higher stakes.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Bruno: You promised me you would make me a king!
 * Darkseid: And so you are – a king of fools!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Darkseid: If you won't be my knight, you will be my pawn.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman: [At Dan Turpin's funeral] Goodbye, old friend. In the end, the world didn't really need a "super man"... just a brave one.

Little Girl Lost

 * Clark: (Stopping Kara from flying) That's enough of that, Kara.
 * Kara: Hey, Clark. It was such a nice day, I thought I'd just, you know - vroom!
 * Clark: What did we talk about? No 'vroom' during the daytime.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Kara: All right, I've seen enough. Don't you realize you are being duped? You think you're getting power but she's just turning you into her personal goon squad!
 * Jimmy Olsen: What are you doing?
 * Kara: What are you think? I'm shutting down this psycho-witch!
 * Granny Goodness: Ah!! Such language! Children, defend your Granny's honor. KILL HER!!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman: Kara, I thought I told you to stay out of trouble.
 * Supergirl: Who, me? I'm not in trouble. And by the way, it's Supergirl. See? [Points at 'S'] Super. [Points at face, bats eyelashes] Girl.
 * Superman: [Pause] Right.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Supergirl: (About Darkseid) Wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley...

<hr width=50%/>
 * Darkseid: I never settle. What I cannot have, I destroy.

Where There's Smoke

 * Partygoer: (Blocked by a bouncer) But... I just gave you a hundred dollars.
 * Bouncer: Thank you. Now get behind the rope.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Fence: Whatever it is, I'm gonna have to pass.
 * Volcana: Really? (Blows whistle) The whistle was touched by the President's lips.
 * Fence: What wasn't?

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman: You have to trust me, Volcana.
 * Volcana: Do you know how many times I've heard that? (Throwing fireballs) From my parents, before they shuffled me off to the institute? From the institute, just before they turned me over to the feds, and from the Government, just before they took away my life!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Government Goon: (Charging up a laser) It's a G-40 blue laser, alien. One shot can penetrate five feet of tempered steel in point-three seconds. I don't think even- (Superman quickly crushes the laser)

<hr width=50%/>
 * Volcana: Your mom raised you well.
 * Superman: I got lucky.
 * Volcana: Yeah. You did. [pauses] I hope you'll think of me... especially on those cold, Metropolis nights.
 * Superman: Don't you ever cool down?
 * Volcana: No.

Knight Time

 * Superman: I didn't think you were foolish enough to make trouble in my town.
 * Roxy Rocket: Well, with Batman missing, the other crooks in Gotham are picking the city clean. I thought I'd try my luck here.
 * Superman: Back up. What do you mean, Batman missing?
 * Roxy Rocket: I thought you'd know. Don't all you spandex boys have club meetings or something?
 * Superman: We're not exactly friends.
 * Roxy Rocket: Aww. I'll be your friend.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Superman: Where's your boss?
 * Robin: Around.
 * Superman: Okay, let's try this another way: where's Bruce?

<hr width=50%/>


 * Commissioner Gordon: This was taken by airport security two hours ago. I thought you'd be interested. [hands over a photo]
 * Superman-as-Batman: [takes it, stares at it nonplussed]
 * Commissioner Gordon: [points] Right here. Look familiar?
 * Robin: [wanders off a ways, whispers] Bane.
 * Superman-as-Batman: Ah, yes. Bane.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Robin: That was close.
 * Superman-as-Batman: [searching the utility belt for a grapple] You're telling me. The sooner we find your boss, the better.
 * Robin: Right side.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Montoya: (about Batman, with Superman in the costume) Does he look bigger to you?

<hr width=50%/>


 * Robin: So how'd you do Batman's voice?
 * Superman: [As Batman] Precise muscle control. [As Robin] I also have a pretty good ear.
 * Robin: [Pauses, creeped out] Don't do that again.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Superman-as-Batman: All this sneaking around isn't exactly my style.
 * Robin: What do you mean? It's half the fun!

<hr width=50%/>


 * Robin: See what I mean about him acting strange? He's smiling!

<hr width=50%/>


 * The Penguin: Even if I did know where to find the Mad Hatter, I'm no stool pigeon. Why should I tell you?
 * Superman-as-Batman: A man's life is in danger. Isn't that enough?
 * The Penguin: You're breaking my heart.
 * Robin: [Whispers] Kick over the desk. [Superman looks uncertain, hesitating] Just do it!
 * Superman-as-Batman: [Kicks the desk over and into the wall] I won't ask twice.
 * The Penguin: All right, no need to get your feathers ruffled. It happens our capped compadre is attending a meeting of notable ne'er-do-wells. They're hatching a plot to capitalize on your... purported disappearance.
 * Superman-as-Batman: [Lifts him of the ground by his collar] Where?
 * Robin: Now he's gettin' it.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Bane: By combining our talents, we will rule Gotham City. Anyone we wish to imprison, you, Riddler, will entrap.  Any from whom we require allegiance, you, Hatter, will control.  And any that stand in our way, I will break.

<hr width=50%/>


 * [Superman as Batman just broke a massive statue, destroyed a device confining him, and went toe-to-toe with Bane, beating him handily]
 * Mad Hatter: It's not possible!
 * Robin: He's been workin' out.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Mad Hatter: Curioser and curioser!

<hr width=50%/>


 * Robin: He's really being controlled by aliens? Eugh.
 * Superman: I'm deeply hurt.
 * Robin: Sorry.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Robin: [seeing Brianiac's spaceship] That looks friendly.
 * Superman: Actually, it looks....Kryptonian.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Brainiac: [to Batman (Superman in disguise)] You're every bit the detective that your followers on the Internet believe.

<hr width=50%/>


 * [Upon discovering that Superman was disguised as Batman]
 * Brainiac: Kal-El. This development was highly improbable.
 * Superman: Today's been full of surprises.

<hr width=50%/>


 * Batman: I hear the city's been busy.
 * Superman: Nothing the kid couldn't handle. I have to say, for a guy who's supposed to be such a loner, you sure know how to pick a partner.

New Kids in Town

 * Chamelon Boy: Up, up and away! Ha! I always wanted to say that!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Clark: Like a pair of glasses is going to fool anyone.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Clark: (After seeing his future costume) Red underpants? Now I know you're crazy!

Obsession

 * [Darcy Mason leaves after Superman saves her from a robot trio]
 * Superman: This couldn't have been just some kidnapping attempt. And she knows more than she told the police, I'm sure of it.
 * Lana Lang: That's Darcy. She takes reticence to a whole new plateau.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Darcy: (to Toyman) I'll never love you. Never!
 * Toyman: I know there's a place for me in your heart. (charges up a drill) I just have to find it.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Darcy: (to Clark Kent) Didn't I see you at the fashion show? What are you, a stalker?
 * Clark Kent: Actually I'm a reporter.
 * Darcy: Even worse. At least stalkers are honest about what they do.

Little Big Head Man

 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: (about Bizarro) This is so sad! I can't take it anymore! The greatest hero in the universe, reduced to saving rocks and playing house!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Bizarro: Hey, you funny little big head man.
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: Mr. Mxyzptlk, at your service.
 * Bizarro: Mr. Mzy... pzy...
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: Eh, don't bother, you'll give yourself a hernia.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Lois: Hey Clark, listen to this. Apparently some nut in a Superman costume just trashed a department store downtown. If I didn't know better I'd say it was-
 * Bizarro: [crashes through the wall] Where am Superman!
 * Clark and Lois: Bizzaro?!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman: Mxyzptlk?! I thought you promised to stay away from Earth forever!
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: No, no, no. I only promised I wouldn't come back and bother you, and I'm not! Old Rockhead is!

<hr width=50%/>
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: (about Superman) Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly! I've gotta bug that jerk till I die!... Or he does.

<hr width=50%/>


 * (As Bizarro grabs Superman's hand to get up)
 * Bizarro: You saved me. Why?
 * Superman: Because I knew Mxy tricked you. If it makes you feel better, he's done it to me. A lot.

<hr width=50%/>
 * (when Bizarro gets affected by sleeping gas)
 * Bizarro: Peaceful.
 * Superman: That will keep him quiet till he reaches home.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk: (as he dodges the boulder) WATCH IT, YA BIG JERK! Three months of this?! I don't think so! I QUIT!
 * (Superman looks at his monitor showing Mxyzptlk holding the tree branch from Krypto (alien monster))
 * Superman: (imitating Bizarro) Life am good.

Absolute Power

 * Jax-Ur: Mesmerizing. Of all the phenomena of nature, none fascinates me more than a black hole. It is the one true force of absolute power. Everything it touches becomes its own.

In Brightest Day...

 * Green Lantern: Wait! Don't you want to talk first? You know, banter back and forth to show me your innate superiority?
 * Sinestro: No.

<hr width="50%"/>


 * Kyle Rayner: There must be someone better suited for the job, like him! (points to Superman)
 * Guardian: The ring has chosen you, Kyle Rayner.
 * Kyle Rayner: But I'm just an artist. I doodle in the margins of notepads, I daydream about color and form and monster trucks. I live half my life in a fantasy world.
 * Superman: You sound perfect.

Superman's Pal

 * Lois Lane: (After her skirt is caught by the wind) I've gotta start wearing pants.

A Fish Story

 * Lois: Are you nuts?! That was a great white!
 * Aquaman: Lucky he was passing by. I've got ten more circling us right now.
 * Lois: Hope they're not hungry.
 * Aquaman: Want me to ask them?

Unity

 * Kara: Spider powers? Eww!

The Demon Reborn

 * Superman: I'm guessing you and that woman Talia had some history.
 * Batman: Pretty much in line with all my other relationships.

Legacy

 * Darkseid: I told you once, Superman: If you would not be my knight, you would be my pawn.
 * Superman: I see you're a man of your word.
 * Darkseid: I am many things, Kal-El. You couldn't even begin to imagine half of them.  But for now, I shall take the role of the executioner.  A final gift, my wayward son: A fast death, infinitely preferable to the shame of returning to Earth. There, your legacy would be one of fear and distrust - a pariah desperately seeking the favor of a world that cursed your name.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman: [Punches Darkseid] That was for Dan Turpin!
 * Darkseid: Who?
 * Superman: The good man you murdered!
 * Darkseid: Had I known one human's death would pain you so, Kal-El, I would have killed more. And kill more I shall. Carry that agony with you to oblivion, Superman.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Darkseid: I am many things, Kal-El - but here, I am God.

<hr width=50%/>
 * Superman: They're right. I did lose control.  If I can't trust myself, how can I win back the trust of an entire planet?
 * Lois: One person at a time. [Kisses him]

Bumpers

 * TOM2: Superman will return in a moment.
 * TOM2: Superman, now continues.
 * TOM2: That's It for Superman.....Tenchi Muyo! is next.