Deadpan Snarker/Video Games



Deadpan Snarkers in Video Games.

"Jade: Don't worry, the worst that could happen is we all die.
 * (Pictured) Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie, due to both plain snarkyness and being fairly Genre Savvy. Apparently this was supposed to be reduced in Nuts & Bolts. Oops.
 * The Terror Mask from the remake of Splatterhouse.
 * Jade from Tales of the Abyss is king of this trope. Snarkiness is just his way of showing affection, after all.

...

Jade: Having this many suicidal people around is really getting on my nerves.

...

Anise: Colonel, you're a terrific liar! Your smile hasn't budged!

Jade: Oh not at all, I'm crying on the inside, wracked with guilt.

Guy: Uh-huh..."

"Garrett: Is this how our arrangement is going to work? You coming up with ways for me to get myself killed?"
 * Though not the extent as Jade, Luke has his moments.
 * So does Guy, usually when bantering with Jade.
 * Centurion Tenebrae carries on right where Jade left off in Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World.
 * He doesn't always succeed. Especially not when Colette's around.
 * Tenebrae is a snarker when he's not making bad puns, anyway.
 * Or getting outright attacked by other characters for said puns. In some cases the other characters snark off of his snarks.
 * Yuri Lowell from Tales of Vesperia has been called Jade 2.0 for a reason...
 * Kyle Hyde from Hotel Dusk. That's his main characteristic.
 * Garrett in Thief.

"Sith student: You idiot! Do you have any idea how many Sith there are on Korriban?
 * Crypto in Destroy All Humans.
 * Gig from Soul Nomad and The World Eaters, who liberally throws around insults and sarcasm directed at you, your team-mates and the world in general whenever he's annoyed, smug, confrontational, or just plain bored (in other words, all of the time, except when he's offering exposition or being incredibly self-aggrandizing).
 * GLaDOS from Portal has a period in the middle of the game as this, before descending into childish insults and general insanity. In the second game, she suffers from intense sarcasm fever almost from the beginning and never recovers.
 * At least one NPC in each Bio Ware RPG will be of this sort, and the game will occasionally allow the main character to snark it up too.
 * Jolee Bindo in Knights of the Old Republic, and was likely the inspiration for Shepard's quote below.

Bindo: Twelve! No, wait, thirteen!"

"Turian Councilor And how many generations do you think it will take for them to wipe us out?!
 * Commander Shepard' in Mass Effect has the option to take several of these in both games.

Shepard: Three. No, wait! Four!"

"Wrex: Must be hard for you, Garrus, knowing that the person behind all this death and destruction is a turian Spectre.
 * Urdnot Wrex delivers his fair share as well.

Garrus: Saren is a traitor and a madman. Taking him down will restore the good name of turians everywhere.

Wrex: Glad to hear it. I was losing sleep over the prospect of people not loving the turians."

"Garrus: That's unfortunate. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through.
 * Shepard and Wrex are up to their old tricks in Mass Effect 2, but now they're joined by Garrus:

Shepard: What is fun to fight through?

Garrus: Gardens, electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

"Shepard: I'm not working for [Cerberus], they're working for me.
 * Liara too in Lair of the Shadow Broker, to the point of Snark to Snark Combat with Shepard at times. Doubles as Belligerent Sexual Tension if you pursued her Romance Sidequest in the first game.
 * Even Tali gets in on the snarking game in ME2. There's this gem from right after you re-recruit her:

Tali: So you ordered the listening devices and tracking beacons that are all over this ship?"

"(in combat) "Grey Warden, Darkspawn. Darkspawn, Grey Warden."
 * In the first game, Joker is this trope incarnate. However, EDI is a superior deadpan snarker in subsequent games. In the future, all deadpan snarking will be performed by artificial intelligences. That was a joke.
 * Come to think of it, every squadmate in the original game at least had a bit of snarkiness to them. Outside those previously mentioned Ashely was pretty notable, but Kaidan had a few moments himself.
 * Almost all of your party members in Dragon Age: Origins have a hint of this, particularly Alistair, Morrigan and Sten. Alistair is extra snarky, while Sten is extra deadpan.

(upon selecting Morrigan) "Oh, it's you again""

"I'm here to deliver bad news and witty one-liners."
 * Alastair Lampshades it:

"Myaja: May the stone honor you.....
 * The main playable character also has potential for this. Depending on how you respond to what people say.

Lucjan: ... When you fall.

Warden: Sure, and may the dirt taste good when I feed it to you."

"Hawke: Looks like they took him to some bolthole on the Wounded Coast. I wonder if that's near the Injured Cliffs? Or the Limping Hills. The Massive Head-Trauma Bay? (beat) No one? Just me? Forget I said anything."
 * One of the changes made for Dragon Age II was the addition of little icons indicating the tone of the main character's response. Not only does this allow Hawke to snark his/her way through the entire game, it also alters Hawke's automatic lines (combat chatter, random quips during banter and so on) to conform with the player-chosen personality.

"Nefarious: So this is the mighty Q-Force? I could destroy the lot of you and it wouldn't even get mentioned in Supervillain Weekly!
 * Out of the party members for the game, Varric sticks out as the best snarker, though nearly everyone gets a few shots, even Merril!
 * Several characters in Knights of the Old Republic 2 fit this from time to time. Atton and Kreia are the premier examples, though Mandalore, HK-47, G0-T0, and Mira have been known to fit this trope.
 * Rouge often slips into this in Sonic Chronicles. It's a pity she's such a Spoony Bard gameplay-wise, since bringing her along to plot related stuff often results in funny. Sonic, too. Any Dialogue Tree option symbolized by a winking Sonic will result in snarking.
 * Speaking of Sonic, Eggman of Sonic Colors evolves into this during the announcements made at each ride in the game.
 * The Legend of Zelda has both Tatl from Majora's Mask and Midna from Twilight Princess, although the latter to a much greater extent than the former.
 * Link himself has pretty strong hints of this in Skyward Sword, considering the dialogue choices one is able to choose for him.
 * Lawrence, the robot butler of Big Bad Dr. Nefarious in Ratchet and Clank Up Your Arsenal. Most of Lawrence's snarkiness is directed at his (largely oblivious) boss, but he manages to get off a few snide remarks at the heroes, as well.

Lawrence: True, sir, but you would have done the fashion world an enormous service."

"Apollo: (...........Ack! I've run out of snide comments!)"
 * The title character of Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney is commonly the sole voice of reason in his world of spirit mediums, crazy dominatrix prosecutors, and wacky courtroom hijinks (despite being the cause of half of them).
 * This even continues after he is in the newer games; if anything becoming even more snarky as he becomes a bit of a Chessmaster.
 * At one point in the third game, you get to play as Miles Edgeworth. He's much more of a Deadpan Snarker than Phoenix.
 * In the fifth game, where you play as Edgeworth the whole time, he proves to be quite possibly the snarkiest and certainly the most deadpan protagonist in the series.
 * Apollo Justice from the fourth game also gets in on the act too. "I'm a lawyer. I live for needless procedures."

"Narrator: And then the Bard looted the chest, which contained the widow's most precious... Wait a minute. Did I read that properly? You're stealing from her?
 * Both The Bard and the unnamed narrator (as voiced by the late Tony Jay), in the 2004 version of The Bard's Tale. They trade barbs to each other about the ridiculous things that happen in the game. In fact, "snarky" is a actual in game option to chose when engaging in dialogue.

The Bard: I wouldn't call it stealing, exactly. I mean, people leave all kinds of things in chests, and they never seem to object when I help myself. Think of it as a public service. I mean, who knows how cluttered these chest might become if I didn't do my part to help clean 'em out?

Narrator: In hindsight, I'm surprised it took the Bard this long to get his hands on Mary's chest."

"Shingen: Have your people contact my people. Maybe we'll stab at each other over tea.
 * Trilby in 5 Days a Stranger definitely feels snarky... and can you blame him?
 * Ling Tong's debut in Dynasty Warriors portrayed him as a deadpan snarker, primarily to Gan Ning. Averted in the spin-off/crossover Warriors Orochi, where he's just an ass.
 * Ishida Mitsunari in Samurai Warriors, and more so in the spin-off game Warriors Orochi acting as Cao Pi's primary foil.
 * While you mostly get ham in Koei's Warriors series, Samurai Warriors gives us Cool Old Guy Shingen Takeda. The man isn't quite deadpan, as he's too cheerful for that, but he's quite generous in ladling out the snark.

Or, concerning his eternal conflict with Kenshin Uesugi:

Kenshin: I am the only one who may slay my Nemesis.

Shingen: Now Kenshin, don't you think I should get some say in who gets to kill me?

Or, facing Tadakatsu Honda:

Tadakatsu: It matters not how many people you threw at me. I will fell them all!

Shingen: And what if I threw kittens at you, Tadakatsu, would you fell them too?

And in death:

Shingen: This never would have happened...to Sima...Yi..."

"Norman Jayden:There's no one home.
 * Haskill from The Elder Scrolls IV: Shivering Isles. He's never not snarking at you.
 * Grand Theft Auto IV - With all the shit Niko Bellic gives his clients, it is a surprise he gets work. Huang is the same in Chinatown Wars; it's a pity absolutely no one takes him seriously.
 * Carter Blake from Heavy Rain could definitely qualify.

Carter Blake: *kicks the door off its hinges* There is now.

Norman Jayden:I'm not sure that's entirely legal.

Carter Blake:...Call the cops."

"Guilty Spark: I'd always assumed it was a shield installation, but it seems I was mistaken.
 * Several characters from Neverwinter Nights 2 fulfill this trope, most notably Sand, Bishop (who only does it to wound people) and, sometimes, Neeshka. Though most of the time, Neeshka does it with too much emotion attached to truly fit this trope. It's usually in response to one of the other companions rubbing her the wrong way, after all.
 * Halo has the SPNKR, the incredibly powerful rocket launcher, that has a simple "pull to fire" function. Upon close inspection, the firing end says "Point this end at enemy". Yes, a gun is a deadpan snarker in this game.
 * Sadly, this is also written on the side of US cruise missiles.
 * Romeo of Halo 3: ODST does this often.
 * As well as Dutch, to some extent.
 * And the Master Chief himself.

Chief: That's a first."

""Now if you'll excuse me, I have to .""
 * Disgaea games are guaranteed to have at least one per game. It seems to be practically hard coded into demon's genes in fact.
 * Planescape: Torment:
 * Morte, who is such an aggravating snarker that he has a special ability called "litany of curses" that can drive your enemies so crazy with anger they have to attack him in melee. Even if they're a Squishy Wizard.
 * Annah seems this way at first, but she's far too easy to fire up. The Nameless One, depending on player choice, but some of his lines are too good to pass up.
 * Must.. get...LawfulGood Alignment.. to.. use.. super.. artifact.. weapon.. must.. not.. snark... ARGH..
 * Selvan from 'Radiant Historia':

"Fury: Spider-Man. Didn't expect you to answer my call [for help].
 * Zyzyx from Sacrifice, who incidentally is voiced by Rob Paulsen, the same man who voiced Morte above. Amongst the gods, Stratos can also get rather sarcastic at times, and good ol' boy James displays a surprisingly dry wit at times.
 * Saki Tsuzura from the all-female fighting game Arcana Heart has some win quotes that have her flatly criticizing an opponent's skill and/or mindset.
 * In Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Spider-Man EPITOMIZES this trope. 25% of his time is being useful, 75% is being an ass to Nick Fury.

Spider-Man: What? And miss riding on the Helicarrier? This beast has gotta be the biggest waste of tax payer money in history. Hey, you guys have any plans to make a flying Mt. Rushmore? Seriously, that would totally rock."

"Mrs. Hopkins: Jimmy, please say something.
 * Deadpool is a close second, although much of his comments are a bit more on the surreal side.
 * If you have them both in the same party, the former deadpan snarks at the latter about finally meeting someone whose jokes are worse than his.
 * In Deadpool's solo mission he encounters an evil clone of Spidey. They engage in an epic Snark-Off, until Evil-Spidey's master Arcade gets annoyed and interrupts so they can actually get to the fight.
 * The game itself Lampshades this when you create a team composed of Spidey, Deadpool, Iceman, and Human Torch. This results in a team bonus titled "Shut Up, Already!"
 * Grandia II uses the main character as its snarker, resulting in many wonderful conversations where the party wants to stop and help people in need, and Ryudo rolls his eyes, mocks them all, and reluctantly agrees to go along with it.
 * Solid Snake of the Metal Gear series, either in his own games or in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
 * In Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines Beckett is a prime Deadpan Snarker, although this may be helped by his voice actor reading his every single line in an over-the-top sarcastic tone of voice. Deb, the host for an in-game late-night radio talk show, is an equally good example.
 * How about the player character? A good chunk of your lines are bemoaning the suicidal tasks and absolute loonies you have to deal with as a new addition to the World of Darkness.
 * Jimmy from Bully.

Rich Guy: James...

Jimmy: What? Who're you? Mom, I thought you told me never to talk to strangers.

Mrs. Hopkins: Like I said before, Jimmy, please be nice to your new stepfather.

Jimmy: OK, Rich Guy, I love it that you're twice as old as my grandfather and you're fat and bald.

Mrs. Hopkins: That's enough! I've had it with you, you little brat!

Rich Guy: You've upset your mother! I've got half a mind to beat you!

Jimmy: Half a mind is right. Suddenly, he realizes!

Mrs. Hopkins: I can't believe you, you little monster! We'll deal with you when we get back from our honeymoon, next year.

Rich Guy: Here we are, boy. Bullworth Academy. Have fun, Jimmy. I'll think of you from our cruise ship. [Mrs. Hopkins laughs]

Jimmy: Whatever."

""Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce Femboy! The girliest boy in our school. Say Petey, don't you have some imaginary friends to annoy?"
 * Gary as well:

"Don't worry, Jimmy, it's only something I came up with. It's "sink or swim", my friend. And if you're good at swimming, you gotta let the losers drown."

"Ecstatic! I love watching two morons beat the crap out of each other!"

"Let me see - uhh, it's Halloween. All the prefects are at some party and the teachers are 'entertaining' - I use the word loosely - the kids. No, I'd say the opportunities for fun are pretty much nil.""

"Bobby Jo: Are you married?
 * Damon Baird of Gears of War. Marcus Fenix also comes in close behind him, especially when they're paired together, to the point where Dom remarks that its "Like two assholes on their first date."
 * The Stranger from Terminal Reality's Nocturne claims to have no sense of humor, but still manages to deliver some vicious one-liners to those around him, particularly when he is especially annoyed (i.e. much of the time).

Stranger: No.

Bobby Jo: My daddy says I'm going to make some lucky man very happy some day when I get married.

Stranger: He was probably referring to himself."

"Guillo: Who throws barrels at people? What are you, some monkey who's run off with a pretty wench?"
 * Neku Sakuraba in The World Ends With You, especially in Another Day. Joshua as well, though he's a lot less cynical and does it more for the sake of annoying Neku.
 * Guillo. Full stop. Its hilarious sarcasm alone could make Origins worth playing.

""Too... tired... to be... snide.""
 * The ability to select dialogue options allows you to be this in Fallout 3. In fact, one of a set of optional quest rewards depends on your willingness to respond snidely to a variety of questions.

"The Courier: Caesar wants me to destroy this place.
 * Interesting, in that this particular quest has multiple rewards depending on success and your responses. The snide response line rewards one of the two generally considered best options.
 * Fallout New Vegas has more than its fair share of snarkers due to the superior writing coming from Obsidian. Mr. House is a shining example.

Mr. House: Was that supposed to come as a shocking revelation?"

"JC Denton: A bomb's a bad choice for close-range combat.
 * The Jak and Daxter games dispense this trope with a Vulcan Fury. Daxter has been known to ask the progression-critical warrior NPC "Have you tried attacking him with your melodrama? 'Cause it's killing me!". Samos is also fairly good at it...oh, and when Jak takes his Super Powered Evil Side Level in Badass, he begins dropping his own smart remarks.
 * Frank West in Dead rising 2: Off the Record, oh so very much.
 * An interesting case in Bomberman 64 The Second Attack where Bomberman himself, despite being portrayed as a Heroic Mime in the game, is revealed to actually be a deadpan snarker after getting the good ending which goes back and shows what the White Bomber was saying in most of game's cutscenes. Most of which are snarky comebacks directed at his comic relief partner, Pommy.
 * Given the fact that the series has Loads and Loads of Characters, Fire Emblem naturally has some of these. Ranulf is probably the best example, though Ike himself is pretty good at it when Ranulf's not around.
 * Soren is by far the best example of this trope; he's always bursting everyone's collective bubble.
 * Raven and Legault from the seventh game are also decent examples of snarkers, though Raven a bit more so.
 * Deus Ex has a lot of snarky remarks here and there.

...

JC Denton: You mechs may have copper wiring to reroute your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.

...

Walton Simons: You take another step forward and here I am again, like your own reflection in a hall of mirrors.

JC Denton: That makes me one ugly son of a bitch. How'd my face get all marked up with bioelectrics?

...

Bob Page: You're too late! Already I am more than human...

JC Denton: Does that mean I don't get the job?"

""Of course, finding my way to the baths from here should be easy. I'll just ask the nearest sand creature. 'Could you direct me to the baths? Thanks.' 'No problem, I used to be a bath attendant back when I was alive'.""
 * Alex in Invisible War can get it from his/her brother.
 * Depending on dialogue options, Adam Jensen from Human Revolution can be quite snarky.
 * Aschen Brodel from Super Robot Taisen: OG Saga: Endless Frontier is one of these... when she's not being a Genki Girl due to the mental effects of her Super Mode.
 * About 1/3 of the dialogue in the game is snarking, deadpan or otherwise.
 * The title character of Prince of Persia uses snarkiness to complement his role as a Loveable Rogue.

"Raziel: Oh no. Every time you turn up something monumental and terrible happens. I don't think I have the stomach for it."
 * Colonel Hakha from Killzone is one of these, providing an excellent foil to Rico's dumbassery.
 * Archibald Ironfist, from Might and Magic, tends towards this, though especially in Heroes of Might and Magic II, this sometimes overlaps with gloating.
 * Zehir in V took the trope and ran with it, and he has some of the best lines in the game because of this. In the expansions, he's joined by Freyda, Duncan, and Wulfstan, and some of their interactions are rather funny.
 * Raziel from the Legacy of Kain series is an excellent example of the trope, especially from Soul Reaver 2 on. It's made even better because he speaks in the distinctive style the games are known for.

"Francis: (upon seeing zombies) Just pretend they're helicopter pilots!"
 * With the recent new campaign, Crash Course, for Left 4 Dead, tough guy Francis has become a bit of a snarky character. The snark bait is mostly confined to the intro where he tells Louis that they just escaped from a helicopter crash and have to walk the rest of the way and asks him if he still feels positive now.
 * Also, his tendency to tease Zoey for having killed the helicopter pilot:

"Coach: Shit, I used to go here when I was a kid!
 * In the second installment, Nick tends to fill that role, sometimes even falling into this.

Nick: Oh good! Now we can die here as adults.

Nick: There goes repopulating the earth. (When Rochelle, the only female in their group, dies)"

"Dr. Morris: Honestly! Where is your sense of humor?
 * Since the game is about people with horrible backstories and their efforts to get past them, most of the cast of Fate Stay Night are snarkers to a degree. Even the Token Mini Moe gets in plenty of burns in whenever she's not acting cute. Even Shirou is an acute smartass and observer while narrating; he's just too polite to let the snark out most of the time. The best example, however, is Archer, who is much less polite, and spends most of his time making fun of his allies, his enemies, and his Rin. Rin herself enjoys messing with people politely, but her favourite target is Shirou, since she can be as rude as she likes and Shirou is a funny masochist who likes arguing with her. The only main characters who don't snark are Taiga, Saber and Sakura; but if you can get past the reserve and self-loathing respectively, you'll see that Sakura snarks with the best of them like  Rin, and Saber's chivalrous politeness hides a sharp tongue which is revealed mainly due to Shirou's disregard for practicality.
 * Elaine from Monkey Island, who seems to take after her
 * Lin from Advance Wars: Days of Ruin. Especially in the Tactics briefings, and especially towards Will. She's arguably that much more badass because of it, though.
 * She's got it down to a science. Consider her response to a question from Dr. Morris, one of the few likable civilians in the game and possibly the one remaining person with a sense of humor.

Lin: It was shot off in the war. Very sad."

"*an attacker sent a relatively tame shot to goal which the goalkeeper easily saved*
 * There's a (very well) hidden easter egg in Wave Race: Blue Storm that replaces your usually Captain Obvious crew chief with a bored guy who spends the entire race snarking at everything you do. Suuuuuuuper.
 * The commentators in FIFA Soccer Sports Game tend to be this from time to time.

Commentator: Thank you very much, says the goalkeeper."

"Reisen: You're too late. I've already sealed all the doors. You'll never take her out now.
 * Shaun from Assassin's Creed II and Assassin's Creed Brotherhood. Very rarely does he say anything (history nerd rants exempt) that isn't sarcastic and dickish. He also delivers the funniest moments in Brotherhood, and has a fair share of humor in AC II.
 * Assassin's Creed has Malik, who spends the better part of the game giving Altaïr nothing but snark.
 * One suspects that the stewardess from the Microsoft Flight Simulator "FSPassengers" add-on is an actual stewardess saying things she wants to but can't in real life. Paraphrased example: "If the plane comes down, you're dead. Have a nice day."
 * Touhou has Marisa and Alice. The former is determined to annoy everyone in any way possible, the latter is a borderline hermit with a considerable aversion to other people, They Fight Crime and both have plenty of snipes for those they encounter. This reaches critical mass in Imperishable Night, when the two form a temporary partnership and spend more time arguing with each other than paying any attention to their opponent, almost to the point of Belligerent Sexual Tension.

Marisa: Man, Alice, wasn't that corridor really long? And dark, too.

Alice: Shouldn't we be dealing with her? That one in front of us.

Reisen: Eh, what? You two are... Earthlings, aren't you? What are you up to at this time of night?

Marisa: It'd take one hell of a janitor to clean a hall that long.

Alice: Still easier than cleaning your house, Marisa. So, why don't we deal with this person?

Reisen: Ah, looks like some weirdos have come to visit. We're busy right now, so if you're just here to steal things, go home.

Marisa: The only people busy in the middle of the night, are people who aren't doing right things for a living. Don't you think so, my friend?

Alice: Since Marisa will never bring the right topic up, I will. You! Aren't you or your company involved with what's happening to the moon?

Reisen: Certainly.

Marisa: Either return the moon now, or return it after some punishment. Pick one!

Alice: Hey, don't steal my moment of coolness..."

"What, is there a pharmacy down there?"
 * Given what few comments Mike Thorton from Alpha Protocol delivers without you having to pick his responses, he would appear to default to snarkiness when he's not deliberately acting otherwise. Play a suave Thorton and practically every line he delivers will be snark.
 * Golden Sun's heroes are told that the sickly old guy can be healed with medicine that's hidden deeper in the dungeon. Suddenly, sweet, wholesome, goodhearted, soft-spoken White Magician Girl Mia drops this line:

"Unless you're afraid your newest hero will be a girl."
 * In The Lost Age, Sheba takes the role.

"Karis: Now keep your Fireballs under control.
 * Apparently Mia and Sheba trained the entire cast of Golden Sun Dark Dawn, as everyone except Matthew and Himi gets at least one snarky comment, and several characters get rather chatty.

Tyrell: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"Hmm. Another beach. Swell."
 * The player character trapped on The Secret Island of Dr. Quandary.

"Flynn: (Throwing a rope down during their heist) Ladies first.
 * Final Fantasy VIII has Laguna Loire's Those Two Guys best friends, Kiros and Ward. Given that Laguna is a front-to-end Idiot Hero, their moments are very common.
 * Nathan Drake of Uncharted seems to communicate in snarks. He'll always find a way to be smart-alecky in any situation.

Drake: Heh heh, cute."

"Sam: Let's play a game. Pick a number between one and ten.
 * Sam Fisher of Splinter Cell. Despite his age, Sam Fisher is still quick of wit, like when he does interrogations of random mooks.

Mook with knife to his throat: Uh... ah... three?

Sam: Damn, it's your lucky day. You get to live. Now tell me something useful or we'll play again."

"Sam: (holding a terrorist by the throat) I'm going inside to meet your friends. Anything I need to worry about?
 * Or this:

Guard: They have guns.

Fisher: I'm shocked and amazed."

"Sam: (after smashing a guard's face into a drawer) You're gonna have to pay for sex from now on..."
 * Or this:

"Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter: 'Ere I come, Chaos Boyz
 * Captain Nick "Havoc" Parker in Command and Conquer: Renegade.
 * The role-playing rhythm-game Sequence has the two main characters, Ky and Naia, as well as anyone else they can drag in to their snarkier conversations (notably the fourth and fifth floor bosses). Outside of the very serious portions, the game is effectively made up of nothing but snark and puns. Even the tutorial video on Steam is filled with snark, for instance only mentioning HP briefly and stating that if you can't figure out that you need to keep it above zero, they can't help you.
 * In The Sims Medieval, the Hero Sim you're playing often has snarky quest dialogue, as does a Royal Advisor if one features in a quest.
 * Eliphas the Inheritor in Dawn of War, especially with the Orks:

Eliphas the Inheritor: Your subtlety astounds me, Ork."

"Pak 38 Crew: (after being ordered to camouglage) Sure we'll hide this...giant gun."
 * Some units in the Wehrmacht and Panzer Elite factions of "Company of Heroes" can be sarcastic, like the crews of the Ostwind and Pak 38.

"Panzer Grenadier: I ordered this rain especially for you Deihnhard..."
 * And

"Bang talking to an injured Jin in Ronin-Gai
 * Blaz Blue has two resident snarkers: Jin Kisaragi and Rachel Alucard.
 * For Jin:

Bang: Yes, it is true that you have brought terrible misery upon the people of Ikaruga. My hatred for you will never be enough. However, a true warrior of Ikaruga would never leave an injured man to die. You may be our sworn enemy, but for now, you are unsworn.

Jin: Are you telling me to stay here and heal my wounds or something?

Bang: Indeed I am.

Jin: No wonder you lost. There is but one goal in war and that is victory. Also, if your opponent outclasses you, then striking before he can retaliate is an absolute must. Your idiocy is truly astounding.

Bang: Well, as you have said... many times... I am an idiot."

"Jin and Makoto walking together
 * And:

Makoto: Oh, look at them go! It's so peaceful here.

Jin: "Noisy" would be much more accurate.

Makoto: Do you always have to be so cynical?"

"Why, hello, Ragna. As ever, your face reminds me of nature's cruel sense of humor.
 * And Rachel has these gems:

I thought perhaps death would humble you somewhat, but now I see that was a foolish hope.

Very well then. If you insist. We will have three orders of this... puffed fish. Do try and make at least one of them edible.

If you really cherish that doll of yours, perhaps you should only play with her at home. It would be such a terrible shame if something bad were to happen to her..."

"Typical. I try to help you and this is the thanks I get. You think I can't see you shaking at the other end of that barrel? Do you think I don't know that your brain is trying to process the horrible fact of "Oh my gawd it talks!" And if it talks...it thinks. And you can't stand that, can you? When are you going to learn that you're not Hunters. You're sheep...with shotguns."
 * Lulu in Final Fantasy X is so deadpan, they created Paine for Final Fantasy X 2 because if they'd gone with their plan A of using Lulu, most of the banter would be shut down brutally early.
 * Carpenter, the vengeful ghost from Hunter: The Reckoning, and also the only spirit that has retained its sapience.

"Jigoro: When you look at me, can you not see the catalogue of my experiences even at a glance?
 * Mokka in Magical Starsign is this.
 * Some members of the cast of Katawa Shoujo are this, combining it with Disabled Snarker.
 * Hisao himself is often one in a Firstperson Smartass sense

Hisao: Uh... maybe. Were you a swordfighter? (narrating) He could also be Hawaiian, and a werewolf."

"Rin: I thought you had a heart problem, not an eye problem."
 * Rin tends to be fairly snarky when she isn't being a Cloudcuckoolander. When Hisao finds her lying on the school roof and asks what she is doing (given Rin, the reason for her lying on the roof is unlikely to be obvious) he gets this response.


 * Shizune tends to be fairly sarcastic, which often goes over the head of her interpreter, Misha. Hisao, on the other hand, notices in her route that he's surprisingly able to detect her sarcasm without hearing her voice.