JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged

An Abridged Series using footage from the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OVAs, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged covers part three of the series. Created by AntfishFTW and featuring a voice cast from a few other Abridged series, this abridged series, is unlike many others in that the core points of the plot more or less stay the same:

Jotaro Kujo, a japanese delinquent keeps himself inside prison because he thinks he is being possessed by some kind of demon. His British-American grandfather, Joseph Joestar, arrives and reveals to him that the "demon" is in fact a manifestation of his fighting spirit, which are called Stands for those who have them. They have recently awakened somehow as the result of Dio Brando, a vampire which the Joestar family fought one hundred years ago, rising from his watery grave. But Holly Joestar, Jotaro's mother, has a passive nature which causes her to lose control of her Stand, and the resulting fever will kill her if Dio isn't defeated soon.

The cast is where things become the Abridged brand of oddball - Polnareff is The Spy, Avdol thinks the solution for everything is burning, Joseph is a walking Transformers reference, Jotaro is just plain bonkers, and Kakyoin is... mostly the same.

Antfish also made a lot of extra videos with joking references to previous and following parts of the series. Thanks to the fact the OVA was the only animation of the series available at the time (2009-2010), most of those extra videos are simply comic panels, but nonetheless they are also part of the parody.

The series has 10 episodes, with the 5th acting as a Season Finale); Episodes 9 and 10 have 2 and 3 parts, respectively. They can all be found here on Antfish's channel.

"Suzi Q: ... Weren't you a brunette before?"
 * Actor Allusion - The Comment Special uses this for a joke. A comment is made referring to how Dio sounds like Tim Curry and then Dio proceeds to ask other characters their opinions on this. The characters being Nigel Thornberry, Lord Dragaunus, Emperor Doviculus and Dr. Frank N. Furter. And a pan full of curry who doesn't hear it.
 * Ambiguously Gay - Dio. Sure, he hits on Power Girl in the Stand Idol segment, but it sounds a lot like posturing.]
 * Animal Wrongs Group: Or rather, Animal Wrongs HERO, in the case of PETA-Man.
 * Anything That Moves - Dio, if the Comment Special is anything to go by.
 * Art Shift
 * Flashback (as well as Flash Forward) scenes are mainly shown as manga screenshots, since the anime only covers a small portion of the series as a whole.
 * Plus, the second half of the series comes from footage of the '90s OVA series, while the first half was made from the more recent series which was made to fill in the missing portions of the story. Lampshaded at the end when Jotaro's mother Holly wakes up from her coma, and she looks completely different.

"Dio: U mad? Kakyoin: YES. I. MAD!"
 * Author Appeal: Antfish likes sprinkling some pro-wrestling here and there.
 * Badass - Even when played for comedy, Jotaro still comes across this way.
 * Black Comedy Rape - Hol Horse's dreams of being raped by the Blue Collar Boys.
 * Brick Joke
 * FAJITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! And Peta-Man.
 * Berserk Button
 * Do NOT mention 9/11 around Avdol.
 * Don't keep calling Doppio with the wrong number.
 * Don't compare Kakyoin to Keanu Reeves when his shades are on.
 * Don't keep calling Doppio with the wrong number.
 * Don't compare Kakyoin to Keanu Reeves when his shades are on.

"BOOSTER! F*CKING! GOLD!!! Who put you up to this?!"
 * And certainly don't refer to Booster Gold as Green Lantern.

"Dio: "The Worl-!" -Dio gets socked in the face by Jotaro's Stand- Star Platinum: Shut the f** k up!"
 * Big Damn Heroes:Polnareff jumping at Dio from behind before he can decapitate Jotaro, and earlier
 * Call Back: The first time the gang meet Polnareff, Joseph gets a rapier through his artificial hand and screams "Ooh, my sexy hand!!". Around the final 3-part episode, Jotaro nails Dio's Stand with a deft punch damaging its fists and as a consequence, cutting up Dio's hand. And he says the very same thing.
 * Calling Your Attacks
 * Subverted, Jotaro interrupts Dio as he calls out his Stand.

"Joseph: You're like the son I never had...Josuke. Jotaro: Jotaro. Joseph: Johnny."
 * Played straight with the Jotaro Punch.
 * Also with Kakyoin's "Child Abuse Throw!"
 * Butt Monkey: Polnareff. Even moreso than the source material.
 * Catch Phrase
 * Avdol's "I have found the only way to defeat X is to BURN IT." where X is whatever they happen to be facing at the time. Lampshaded by Joseph when he asks if Avdol is trying to get that printed on a T-shirt.
 * Double-subverted during episode 8, when he's interrupted by Polnareff, denies that he was going to say it because "That's just retarded."...and then proceeds to by burning it.
 * Cloudcuckoolander - Jotaro. Let's just put it this way: his pen pal is Duck Dodgers, and he writes to him like it's a Letter to Penthouse. Let's leave it at that.
 * Cluster F-Bomb - Joseph drops quite a few when he flashes back to his final fight with Cars.
 * Continuity Nod:
 * Antfish is clearly a fan of the whole of Jojo because he'll slip in little jokes about the other parts of the series. Other than the blatant ones such as the flashback to the Cars fight and the reference to Dio burning Danny Joestar, there's also little asides like Jotaro telling Polnareff not to get trapped in a turtle.

"Polnareff: I guess I'll just.....Stay here....Getting used to"
 * Also, there's a another incredibly stealthy one from the "World Inside the Mirror" spinoff, "WHEELY HIGH." Brick Joke because
 * And even later in Episode 10:

"Hol Horse: I don't care if you're speaking Chinamanese, that sure ain't no Uncle Sam talk I hear!"
 * Don't Explain the Joke:
 * "It's funny because there are bitches in the way that need to move."
 * Also, from episode 7: "It [My foot] will be up your ass. Just saying."
 * Eagle Land: Hol Horse.

"Jotaro: Dude, it is crying from its wrist. That is hard emo, bro."
 * Emo:
 * Jotaro accuses Hierophant Green of being this.


 * Made even funnier by the fact that Linkin Park's Crawling is playing in the background as he says it.
 * Estrogen Brigade Bait: Lampshaded when Kakyoin is referred to as "the only reason women watch this show."
 * Even the Guys Want Him: Dio's status as this gets parodied when N'Doul is gushing at length about how wonderful Dio is, and by the time he gets to "His trapezius muscle tore through his shirt," Jotaro interjects with "Okay, I'm getting a little uncomfortable..." and N'Doul immediately tells him to shut up because "Dio Brando's a sexy man!"
 * Fake Crossover:
 * Also,
 * Also,
 * Also,


 * "Fire Lord Avdol."
 * Famous Last Words: Mocked, then played straight.

"Dio: Perhaps I, Dio, should take off his pants. and Jotaro: Wow Dio, looks like I just violated your manhole..... cover."
 * Flash Forward: The "Flashback to the Future" segments.
 * Foe Yay:
 * Lampshaded twice in the final episode, both times with the caption "Fanfic Fuel" appearing after a suggestive line.

"Dio: I, Dio, blew any chance of him living out of the water. I, Dio, sucked him bone dry. I, Dio, reached around and— you're just getting me to say a whole bunch of really gay sh*t now, aren't you. Jotaro: Heh heh, yeah."
 * Also gets lampshaded and defied when Dio's explaining what he did to Joseph.

"Dio: reading a fan comment Takahata101: Cast List Antfish - Everyone I SEE WOT U DID THAR Dio: Well, I wished you saw what you typed because you can't f*cking spell."
 * Fourth Wall Mail Slot: The "comment special" video.
 * Fridge Brilliance: D'Arby not saying the secret to Dio's stand could be considered to be because he went kinda insane... but it could also be because he never called Jotaro's raise and basically folded. He never had to give up that information since he never put it up for wager in that competition. As for why he freaked out more when it was brought up... he was probably scared to death about Jotaro's ability since it was
 * Get a Load of That Square: In episode 1, Joseph tries speaking entirely in slang he learned from an in-flight movie on the way to Japan.
 * Gosh Dang It to Heck: Joseph regularly says "Dagnabbit," but isn't at all afraid to use other, more powerful words.
 * Grammar Nazi: Dio doesn't like grammar errors during the comment special.

"Kakyoin: Heads, Polnareff wins. Tails, J. Geil loses. J. Geil: *thinking* That's not fair, either one I choose I... uh-oh."
 * Grand Finale: Episode 10, in 3 parts. It's sweet, hilarious, and all-in-all kickass.
 * Gratuitous French - Half of the words that comes out of Polnareff's mouth.
 * Heads I Win, Tails You Lose: Episode 4.

"Joseph: Aw, f*** you, Germany!"
 * Hold Up Your Score

"Abbacchio: So don't ever say there's no such thing as a world inside a mirror! Got it? Giorno: *beat* You smell nice! Abbacchio: *stunned silence*"
 * Homoerotic Subtext:
 * Parodied when Jotaro walks past Kakyoin in a series of freeze-frames, with a "CLAMP Warning" meter at the bottom of the screen that skyrockets just as he passes him. And then plummets back to zero when Jotaro walks past him and turns his attention to Enya.
 * Also shows up in the "Or is there?" video:

"The Rock: Rocky, The Brahma Bull, The Great One, The People's Champ, Dwayne Johnson, the Most EEEEEEEEEELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!"
 * I Have Many Names - The Rock introduces himself as such when auditioning for Stand Idol.

"Joseph: As you all know, months have passed since we left for Egypt. Polnareff: We've only been gone for three weeks. Joseph: MONTHS. Have passed."
 * In Name Only: Abridged? The final episode is in three parts, and is nearly as long as the final episode of the OVA. Though shortening it would be difficult without cutting out material important to plot, as the final battle rages across the entire city. And onto a river. And it's still hilarious.
 * Insane Troll Logic - Joseph's interpretation of Kakyoin attacking the clock tower, which leads him to believe that Dio's stand.
 * Insistent Terminology - Episode 7

"Kakyoin: Doesn't that hurt? Jotaro: Doesn't what hurt? Kakyoin: Aren't you in pain?! Jotaro: What is "pain"?"
 * Jive Turkey - N'Doul.
 * Kitchen Sink Included: As in the original, Dio stops time and throws dozens of knives at a frozen Jotaro until there are too many for him to block or avoid. Before starting time up again, he adds, "And for comedic effect..." and a kitchen sink gets photoshopped into the scene.
 * Large Ham - Dio was already one to begin with, but the Abridged Series cranked it up to 11.
 * Leeroy Jenkins: Jotaro, he even quotes the trope namer.
 * Major Injury Underreaction
 * Kakyoin's response to getting sliced across the eyes by Geb? "Ow."
 * Jotaro is also quite fond of this trope. For example: he does not so much as flinch while  Cue the following dialogue.

"Colonel Campbell: I am not kidding."
 * "Ban-dage? What a strange device. Do...do I eat it? Is...is it microwavable? Does it...taste like...poptarts? I don't know."
 * Minor Injury Overreaction:
 * "I sprained my ankle!"
 * It's worth noting that Joseph complained of this after getting stabbed in the throat.
 * No Celebrities Were Harmed - The original Vanilla Ice was nothing like his namesake.
 * "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer
 * "His name is Vanilla Ice."

"Polnareff: Oh what's that? You say I can beat your bum? Oh you're into THAT stuff!! (Subtitle: ACTUAL DUB DIALOGUE)"
 * Also pulled two off earlier in Episode 4, during the infamous "beat your bum" line.

"Kakyoin: POLNAREFF! He's in the CHROME of the STEERING WHEEL! (Subtitle: ACTUAL DUB INFLECTION)"
 * Then when Polnareff and Kakyoin see J. Geil's Hanged Man in the chrome of their vehicle's steering wheel, the bizarre case of Lip Lock from the dub is referenced here by Kakyoin stating:

"Jotaro:"
 * Oh Crap:
 * Many, many from episode ten:

"Dio: * tossing a ship* Enjoy your stay on the S.S. Plummet, Jotaro! Jotaro: That's a boat--* boat crashes into him*"

"Jotaro: Dio: Jotaro:"

""Why can't I move? Wh... why can't I- No, no, nononoNONO! MOTHERF** KER!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! BULLS** T! BULLS** T! BULLS** T!""
 * And, last but not least, Dio.

"Joseph: My God! This house is filled with the dead! Kakyoin: And they're silent! Like the hills! Joseph: Come on! We gotta get out of this residence of evil! Kakyoin (to Enya): Don't worry! You won't be left for dead! Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!"
 * Quip to Black - "'cause I'm cold... as ice." (YEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!)
 * Real Song Theme Tune
 * Killswitch Engage's cover of Ronnie James Dio's (who was the Big Bad's namesake) "Holy Diver". Dio's original version is later used at the end of episode 8, when Dio makes his first non-shadowed appearance.
 * Dark Reprise - The above use of Holy Diver could be considered this.
 * Refuge in Audacity - Using N'Doul as a jive turkey? Possibly offensive to some. Proceeding to ramp it up by then quick-cutting to most known black stereotypes within only 10 seconds? Hilarious.
 * Rule 63 - A genderflipped picture of Dio and Jotaro is shown in episode 7, complete with les-yay. Very Squickish, although of course, Your Mileage May Vary.
 * Short Runner/ Too Good to Last - Seeing as how the anime (and therefore, the abridged series) only covered a portion of the series with a 13 episode OVA, it really can't be helped.
 * Two separate OVAs, with the final six episodes or so being nearly a decade older than the previous ones. Making for a noticeable degradation in animation quality for the second half of both Anime and Abridged series.
 * Shout-Out
 * Even with just ten episodes, the shoutouts are already too numerous to count, but perhaps the biggest one comes in Episode 5

"Vanilla Ice: Stupid Dog! You made me LOOK BAD!"
 * From Episode 8:

"Polnareff: Vanilla Ice! You're about to be... Under Pressure!""
 * And about 30 seconds later:

"Hol Horse: "Polnareff sappin' my stand!" Polnareff: "I appear to have burst into flames.""
 * Meanwhile, Polnareff is basically a walking Shout-Out to the Spy from Team Fortress 2.

"Dio: And so, you are left alone... like a rainbow in the dark."
 * Episode 9 has so many it's hard to keep track, so here's the best way to sum it up: Kakyoin = The Matrix and X-Men, Joseph = Transformers (And it continues in the Series Finale) and about 20 others, and Jotaro has the floating Steve Buscemi head.

"Jotaro: You think punching me a wall's gonna stop me? Pft. Who the hell do you think I am?!?"
 * Also from episode 9:

"Dio: Are you daft, punk!?"
 * The chauffeur's speech pattern and threats from episode 9 are based on the Mad TV character Coach Hines.
 * From the Comment Special:

"Jotaro: Yeah, you better. Don't want you to sparkle to death."
 * From later on in the comment special:

"D'Arby: If you like to gamble, I tell you, I'm your man. You win some, you lose some, its all the same to me."
 * Stand Idol uses almost all of.
 * "The wheel of fate is turning, Heaven or Hell, let's rock!". Which is followed by "Final Challenge!! Are you ready? ACTION!!!" Which is in turn preceded by a shout out to Marvel vs. Capcom 3 complete with close-up, Ken's Theme playing in the background and an announcer stating the combo name as "Galifianakis".
 * Magic everywhere in this bitch!
 * TIME IS FROZEN TODAY!
 * Dio Brando's a sexy man.
 * Episode 8: Let's see, a guy (Kakyoin) saving his friend (Joseph) from a bad guy (Dio) as a certain song plays and a certain sound effect from his weapon (Hierophant Green) charges up...nope, I got nothing. Zip, nada, zilch,
 * D'Arby in episode 7 quotes the first few lyrics from Motorhead's Ace of Spades.

"Jotaro: "That's...amazing!" Dio: "What, that something so indie could be so mainstream?" Jotaro: "No, that Cartoon Network's still making cartoons."
 * Dio quotes Ozymandias's "I'm not some Republic serial villain" line during his and Jotaro's battle.
 * Sound Effect Bleep
 * Spirit Advisor - Jotaro's appears to him in times of dire need in the form of.
 * Straight Man - Avdol, despite being easily angered pyrokinetic with megalomaniacal life goals, he is by far the most level-headed of the Joestar troupe.
 * Take That:
 * "I never thought I'd say this...but thank you, Bleach...you saved my life...I hope you never get plagiarized."
 * And after listening to the theme for "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Time":

"Antfish: (on viewing Star Platinum pulling Hierophant Green from a girl's mouth) Oh God, it's so gross! Ugh, stop it, stop it! *hits pause* Oh God, that looks so gross! Ugh... It'd be even worse in reverse... Antfish: OH GOD I WAS RIGHT!"
 * Tempting Fate
 * Two examples.
 * scene rewinds*

"Joseph: Guess what, everyone! We're one of the first Abridged Series' to go six episodes without a Metal Gear reference! Others: Huzzah! *cue exclamation point and alert sound* Joseph: Dagnabbit!"
 * And

"Joseph: All right, so long as no one jinxes it- Jotaro: Hey, Granddad, the stand's dead.
 * Invoked, then played straight later in the episode.
 * Geb attacks Joseph*"

"Chauffeur: SON. OF A HIPPO'S. LEFT. NUT."
 * This Is Sparta - In Episode 9, the Chauffeur's speech patterns are...odd.

"Enya: Are you just reciting song lyrics? Polnareff: ... I want to fuck a dog in the ass"
 * Tim Curry
 * Abridged Dio is basically him to a peg.
 * And so is everyone else played by Tim Curry.
 * "Hnyrhuhnyrhuhnyyr-huhhuh-hughnyrhughnyrhuhnyrhuhnyyrhuhthosef*** ingducks"
 * The Un-Reveal - Dio's speaking voice gets roughly a third of a second of screen time before being interrupted by the opening titles. Subverted in Episode 8, when we finally hear him speak.
 * Trademark Favorite Food - Jotaro is easily distracted by any mention of fajitas.
 * Villainous Breakdown
 * Dio has a short but massive one when he learns Jotaro can.
 * And of course, there's D'Arby's infamous one, when  makes D'Arby lose his shit epicly.
 * Verbal Tic:
 * "I, Dio, do not know why I, Dio, am included as an example here."
 * Notice the Shout-Out?
 * Also a nod to actual canon where in Dio often refers to himself as (based on rough translation) "this Dio".
 * D'Arby over-emphasizing the "oo" sound in anything he says.
 * Visual Pun: In the comment special, in the aforementioned answer to a comment saying he sounds like Tim Curry, Dio, after asking other Tim Curry-voiced actors (Including Dr. Frank N. Furter), Dio then asks a pan full of curry.
 * Vocal Evolution - Kakyoin's voice went from this to this. Note that everyone else hasn't changed a whole lot.
 * Waxing Lyrical:
 * Polnareff attempts to pick-up Enya using only song lyrics. She immediately notices this.

"Fugo: Well this doesn't seem so bad- Oh my god, they spelled "trash" backwards!"
 * As noted above, D'Arby quotes several lines from "Ace of Spades" when he introduces himself.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?: Fugo discovers the horrifying secret of the mirror world:

"Dio: They were really hard punches! Jotaro: Not as hard as my dick... Dio: Wait, what? Jotaro: ...when I f*cked your girlfriend!"
 * What If - The whole point of the epilogue episode, really.
 * Your Mom: Well, more like Your Girlfriend.