Snape's Worst Memory

Snape's Worst Memory is an AU Snape/Lily fanfic, written by Darkglare. It's a long fic with a reasonable amount of angst and mostly realistic portrayal of characters. Focuses on Severus and Lily's friendship and relationship during their last two years of school. "Snape's Worst Memory" scene happened but with a twist in the form of Regulus Black and his plan to get his brother in trouble, so there was no "Mudblood" incident. Adult themes.

This fanfiction contains examples of:
"...this was not a good time to be sending her letters accusing her of being a bossy know-it-all that he was tired of having toy around with him."
 * Abusive Parents: Tobias Snape.
 * Accidental Pervert: Lily. It really wasn't her intention to . It was just a huge misunderstanding.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: Mulciber is known for that.
 * A Lady on Each Arm:  and Lily try it with Severus. Only Lily succeeds. Unless you count.
 * All of the Other Reindeer: Severus. Somewhat Exaggerated, but Justified. He is also unlucky enough to love a Plucky Girl.
 * All Take and No Give: Severus and Lily's relationship for the most part. Though Lily genuinely doesn't see it that way.
 * All Work vs. All Play: Generally Subverted, since they are both rather studious and responsible, but sometimes played straight on Lily's part, usually regarding sex.
 * Alternate Universe Fic.
 * A Man Is Always Eager: Subverted with Severus.
 * Am I Just a Toy to You?: Severus to Lily, or so he thinks.

""At the mere age of seventeen, Lily Evans knocked the wizarding world arse over tea kettle with a ballpoint pen.""
 * Ambition Is Evil: Subverted with Severus: despite of him being a Slytherin he has no real ambition.
 * Played for Laughs by Lily and Severus while discussing each other's future Chocolate Frog Cards. Severus even made one for Lily:

"He [Avery] was scared shitless. Someone who could shrug off the death of his own mother? …"
 * A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Read: Dumbledore doesn't like that he sees in Severus' mind.
 * Animals Hate Him: Inverted: some animals like him but they are either Mrs Norris or.
 * Angst? What Angst?: Lily.
 * Subverted with Severus because while some things hurt him deeply, he doesn't usually show it:

"Lily: You don't think I'm getting too fat, do you, Sev? Lily said 'too fat'. She knew she was gaining weight. Why bother asking him about it?"
 * Anti-Hero: Severus.
 * Attention Whore: James Potter, duh.
 * Subverted, somewhat, with Gilderoy Lockhart: it seems he was a lot nicer as a student.
 * Bad Dreams: Severus (and Lily notices).
 * Badass Baritone: Severus, but only after he . And technically, his badass side shows itself only.
 * Badass Normal: Tobias Snape and his friends, who.
 * Batman Gambit: Severus uses it successfully.
 * Berserk Button: For James, whenever he sees Severus too close to Lily. Severus uses it against him.
 * Bonding Over Missing Parents: Subverted with Lily and Severus: they don't even understand each other's feelings concerning the matter.
 * Also Word of God thinks it was one of the main reasons for Lily's change of heart towards James in the canon.
 * Bookworm: Severus and Barty Crouch Jr.
 * Born Winner: James, at least he thinks that way.
 * Brilliant but Lazy: James and Sirius.
 * Calling Your Orgasms: Lily.
 * Can't Hold His Liquor: Lily. Severus doesn't take advantage at first,.
 * Cats Are Mean: Subverted with Mrs Norris. She isn't really mean..
 * Closer to Earth: Inverted. Severus is a reasonable one. The same with the other two Slytherin/Gryffindor couples in the fic.
 * Childhood Friend Romance: Arguably.
 * Compliment Fishing: Lily:

"Students were snogging and shagging all over the castle. Didn't have to be a prefect or head girl to know that."
 * Convenience Store Gift Shopping: Usually neither Severus nor Lily are pleased with each other's gifts.
 * Oddly enough,.
 * Crying Wolf: Marauders. Even when they really haven't done anything, nobody believes them.
 * Deadly Prank.
 * Death Is a Sad Thing.
 * Dirty Business: Dumbledore does that,.
 * Dropping the Bombshell: Dumbledore does that to Severus. Played for Drama.
 * Don't Look At Me: Severus tried it with Lily, but failed.
 * Drink Order: Dumbledore was shocked when he found out that Severus, unlike himself, drinks tea without sugar.
 * Lily likes mead very much.
 * Everybody Has Lots of Sex: For the last two years of Hogwarts, they do. Or would like to. Hence, contraceptive magic at the castle. And really, why have so many unused classrooms?

"He hurried since if Lily got through washing herself then she insisted on washing him. When she did, only one part of him got washed really well, and everything else was ignored."
 * Everyone Is Related: Severus discovers this, when.
 * Fiery Redhead: Lily.
 * Forgets to Eat: Severus.
 * Freudian Excuse: Severus has a big one.
 * Friends with Benefits: On Lily's side.
 * Guess Who I'm Marrying: Walburga and  to poor Regulus.
 * "Happy Ending" Massage: Lily wants to do it to Severus and won't take no for an answer.
 * Hates Baths: Severus doesn't, but:

"Petunia: Won't he burst into flames as soon as he sets foot inside a church?"
 * Hates Being Touched: Severus. Lily is the only exception for him..
 * Hidden Badass: Severus.
 * Holy Burns Evil: Petunia splashes Severus with holy water when he accompanies them to the church. Subverted.


 * Humble Hero: Severus, in the eyes of some people. But he just doesn't care.
 * I Can Still Fight: Severus, but he doesn't have a choice, literally.
 * Ignore the Fanservice: Severus tries to do it with Lily sometimes, but never succeeds..
 * Innocently Insensitive: James to Lily, sometimes Lily to Severus.
 * Intergenerational Friendship: Severus and Xenophilius Lovegood (he is already working as an editor).
 * I Owe You My Life:  and Lily to Severus. Played for Drama because when Severus' life was in danger, Lily's Life Debt forced her to take action which.
 * Just Friends: Lily's line.
 * Kick Them While They Are Down: James and Sirius do that to Severus.
 * Severus does it too, but is much more sneaky about it.
 * Kids Are Cruel: Some of them are.
 * Lack of Empathy: Lily, Severus and most of the characters.
 * Lie Back and Think of England: Severus when Lily is in the mood, but he is not. So, Inverted.
 * Loners Are Freaks: It doesn't help Severus' reputation. Even Lily thinks Severus needs more friends than just her. He disagrees.
 * Love Hurts: Severus.
 * Love Potion: Discussed and deconstructed by Lily.
 * Lust Object: Severus to Lily.
 * Mangst: Severus.
 * Masquerade Ball.
 * Misery Builds Character: Severus.
 * Mistaken Confession: Lily to her parents.
 * Mistaken for Murderer: Sirius Black. But not in the way you thought.
 * Moment Killer: Dumbledore.
 * More Than Meets the Eye: Severus.
 * Muscles Are Meaningless: In the wizarding world they are, and Severus proves it.
 * Neat Freak: Petunia.
 * Not Helping Your Case: When Mc Gonagall accuses the Marauders of attacking Snape because he's a half-blood in Chapter 7, James responds that they would have attacked him no matter what his parents were.
 * Not What It Looks Like: When Mrs Evans catches them in Lily's bedroom in compromising position. Severus' reaction - I Can Explain. And he does. Still, Lily gets in trouble.
 * Slughorn got his moment with Magical Law Enforcement . It did not end well.
 * Odd Friendship: Severus and Lily.
 * Plucky Girl: Lily. Despite all the bad things that keep happening to her and her friends, she doesn't seem to be affected.
 * Poster Gallery Bedroom: Mulciber's posters from his Porn Stash.
 * Porn Stash: A lot of students had it to Minerva's disappointment.
 * Reasonable Authority Figure: Minerva McGonagall, Alastor Gumboil, Healer Pye.
 * Ron the Death Eater: Played with. James, Sirius, Slughorn and Dumbledore don't do anything too out of character, but it all just goes horribly wrong.
 * Sand in My Eyes: Reconstructed with Severus.
 * Secret Relationship: Severus and Lily.
 * Sex Equals Love: Subverted..
 * Sweet Tooth: Dumbledore and Slughorn. Exaggerated.
 * Switching POV.
 * Teen Drama.
 * The Cassandra: Lily. She accurately predicted almost everything that would happen to Severus in their Sixth Year . But neither of them tried to do much about it.
 * The Drag Along: Peter Pettigrew.
 * The Glorious War of Sisterly Rivalry: Lily and Petunia. Not as ugly as in the canon.
 * Their First Time.
 * Trouble Follows You Home.
 * Virginity Makes You Stupid: Lily doesn't know a lot of things about sex that a girl her age would know, even in the seventies.
 * Voluntary Shapeshifting: Severus doesn't hesitate to use the Polyjuice Potion when needed.
 * Marauders and McGonagall, of course.
 * Wedding Day.
 * What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: Lily and her friends' attitude before.
 * You Are Grounded: Lily by her parents.