I Won't Say

I Won't Say by angeltrap is an AU WAFFy (non-explicit) Light/L Death Note Fanfic in which Light "wins" and could kill L and Watari at any time if he wanted to... but decides he would rather keep L alive. He also insists that they spend Christmas together with L's "family..."

"L: Light-kun is right. Believing in ghosts is like claiming that you own a magical notebook or that you have a pet monster that only eats apples. Don't be ridiculous."
 * Arbitrary Skepticism: There's no such thing as ghosts!

"Light: L... You're not exactly the sanest person I've ever met, but after seeing three other examples produced by the same environment, I just have to ask... how come you're not any more off the wall?
 * Becoming the Mask:
 * Beta Couple: Mello and Matt.
 * Big Brother Bully: Mello
 * Big Brother Instinct: L,  towards the Wammy orphans.
 * Big Screwed-Up Family: It could be a Sitcom called "Meet the Successors"!
 * Blackmail
 * Buffy-Speak
 * Butt Monkey: Light and Near.
 * Chained to a Bed: Light, courtesy of L-for perfectly innocent reasons.
 * Christmas Special
 * Cleaning Up Romantic Loose Ends:
 * Cloudcuckooland: Wammy's House.
 * Crystal Dragon Jesus: in this the First Book of Mello, we have made the following decrees...
 * Daddy’s Boys / Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Watari scolds L and  and tells them to behave themselves, they answer with a meek "Yes sir."
 * Dating Catwoman: L and Kira.
 * Death Takes a Holiday: Invoked when Light suggests that the Taskforce send out another "fake" Kira broadcast saying that Kira will suspend judgments for the holiday season and the real Kira will have to follow it if he wants to maintain his good PR.
 * Did Mom Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?: When  arrives at Wammy's House L panics because
 * Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?: The entire time. Near is mystified when pondering the fact that KIRA just ruffled his hair, as is Mello when he made them cocoa, etc.
 * Later L invites  to come join them for Christmas.
 * Double Date:
 * Dude, Where's My Respect?: "The God of the New World" finds himself wondering this frequently.
 * Dysfunction Junction:

L: I started meddling with serial killers, psychos and megalomaniac criminal masterminds instead. That must have saved my sanity."

"Light: Hello, everyone, I'm Light, L's boyfr- L: My co-worker!"
 * Easily Forgiven: L invites  to join them for Christmas dinner
 * Elephant in the Living Room: that Light is Kira.
 * Everything's Better with Chocolate
 * Exact Eavesdropping: Near stumbles into the Kira x L soap opera.
 * Exact Words: "no morning sex... (Beat) or afternoon sex, or evening sex or..."
 * Extreme Doormat: L from his training at Wammy's House. Light sets out to convince L that he's allowed to be a human being with emotions.
 * Family Values Villain: Light is usually the one scandalized by the Wammy's kids wacky hijinks.
 * Filk Song: to music from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.
 * Genre Shift: Death Note the Heartwarming Holiday Special.
 * The Glomp: L gets attacked by his successors in this way.
 * Harmless Villain:
 * Haunted House
 * He Is Not My Boyfriend:

"L: Where's Near? Mello: Oh, he's safe... Matt: ... in a closet."
 * Hypocritical Heartwarming
 * I Know You Know I Know
 * If You Ever Do Anything To Hurt Him: Mello (warning Light) and he manages to be quite intimidating for a 14 year old kid.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: Princess "Elle" from the bedtime story fairy tales.
 * It's Not You, It's Me:
 * Keeping Secrets Sucks
 * Last-Second Word Swap
 * Let's Split Up, Gang!: "STUPID GENIUSES!"
 * Lima Syndrome:
 * Locked in a Room

"Light: Next you're going to start sticking out your tongu- just like that! L, I saw that! L: What? He started it."
 * Mirror Monster:
 * Moment Killer: Mello, Matt, and Near are on a holy mission to be this.
 * Our Brother Is Off Limits: the trio are not happy about Light moving in on L.
 * Noble Demon: Light.
 * Not What It Looks Like
 * Only Sane Man: Light plays this role in contrast with the Wammy's Kids.
 * Peek-a-Bangs:  does the Emo version.
 * Romantic Comedy
 * Secret Identity Identity:
 * Seen It All: Light is completely unfazed upon meeting.
 * Sibling Rivalry: between Mello and Near.
 * Light can only watch on in horror as L and  bicker and snipe at each other with all the maturity of six year olds.
 * Light can only watch on in horror as L and  bicker and snipe at each other with all the maturity of six year olds.

" You're not afraid? Light: Should I be?"
 * Sir Index of Tropes
 * Slash Fic
 * Sleep Cute
 * Subverted Innocence: "What have you been teaching these kids?!"
 * Subverted Kids Show: Near was making some finger puppets of those he considers family. Light is surprised that that includes him, but then notes that it's sitting not so innocently on his middle finger.
 * Talking to the Dead: L expresses his concerns about entering a relationship with Kira to A and B's graves.
 * Team Mom: L
 * Team Dad: Light, "Mello, leave that poor kid alone and get in here, right now!"
 * That Poor Plant: L relates that he once managed to kill a cactus by forgetting to water it.
 * Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Sorry, but after having a Shinigami appear in your bedroom in the middle of the night a  isn't going to cut it...
 * Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Sorry, but after having a Shinigami appear in your bedroom in the middle of the night a  isn't going to cut it...


 * Villainous Crush: Light towards L.
 * WAFF
 * What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Misa's fairy tale
 * Wimpification: L, semi-justified though in that he's doing it out of concern for the safety of Watari and the kids and mostly makes life miserable for Light any chance he gets...
 * Wounded Gazelle Gambit: when L catches Mello and Matt snooping around his bedroom, Matt turns on the waterworks and tries to blame it all on Light.
 * You Can See Me?
 * You Will Be Spared: Light to L, with the caveat of "don't make me kill anyone else."