Better Than It Sounds/Film C


 *  : Murders are committed while everyone involved, including the killer, is asleep. Tim Burton has spent his entire career trying to remake this film.
 * Alternatively: Mad carney with part-time job as a psychiatrist sends his psychic, narcoleptic, sleepwalking henchman to murder people For Science!!
 * The Caine Mutiny: The Captain of a ship rattles ball bearings, and worries about the theft of strawberries. He must be crazy.
 * : A professor goes looking for some friends in the Amazon and finds their home videos. They aren't pretty.
 *  : A scrawny wimp volunteers to take steroids and is dressed in the American flag to fight an army led by a man with a skeleton for a head.
 *  : Brandy-smuggling vicar, witty coffin-maker, and Large Ham pretend to be ghosts in order to scare away jerkass cop.
 * : A car-crash victim becomes a church organist, then goes to an amusement park.
 * : Teen girl throws a fit at a prom.
 * : After an incident where he gets lost and enters a hillbilly village, racer decides to lose the race of his life.
 * : One of the racer's friends gets a second job.
 * : After a long time, a guy meets his ex-girlfriend, who ditched him for another guy. He's bitter and jealous, but he begins to fall in love with her again. And then he forces her to stay with the other guy.
 * Or a guy falls in love with another man's wife. The husband forgives them because he likes fighting Nazis. Meanwhile a corrupt French cop closes down a bar after pocketing his winnings. He is notably shocked.
 * Or the wife of a handsome war hero falls in love with a bartender. The bartender refuses her because he prefers going to war beside a corrupt French cop.
 * : Spies visit casino, has an ending hard to describe. But James Bond is played by David Niven, Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, Daliah Lavi, and Woody Allen (sort of). And Orson Welles is the bad guy. That's got to count for something.
 * Or: Spies visit casino, start a fight, Indians parachute in, and Super Pooh saves the day (before "they" stopped him).
 * : A moody teen and a dead kid try to stop a Rich Bitch and her Pythonian lackey from getting their hands on some family mementos.
 * Alternatively: Not-so-nice dead people try to scare living people from a house. Also, a dead guy with an identity crisis falls madly in love with a teenage girl.
 *  : Workaholic gets into forced vacation. Alternately, A man and his volleyball.
 *  : A young miner and a girl who fell out of the sky have to save the titular location from an evil man voiced by Luke Skywalker.
 * : A government agent spends five years trying to find a teenage runaway.
 *  : Foreign-language film about a love triangle in a savage, untamed land.
 *  : Iron Man becomes a famous comedy star in the 1920s.
 *  : Four people become friends and run a lot.
 *  : Prisoners concoct elaborate escape plan with help from American circus acrobat after learning that their captors intend to turn them into pies.
 *  : Criminal becomes shorter and frames a kid.
 *  : Short criminal returns to get the same kid.
 *  : Same as above, only at military school.
 *  : Short criminal gets an equally short girlfriend.
 *  : Short criminal and girlfriend attempt to raise their son.
 *  : People kill each other over a pregnant woman.
 *  : Man solves extremely Squicky murder mystery about water treatment.
 *  : A girl discovers a fairyland inside the upstairs closet. Her siblings treat her badly until they make friends with an unwashed builder and his fussy wife, who teach them about Jesus. They proceed to save the day, then get home in time for supper twenty years later.
 *  : The four siblings learn that the Doctor was correct and that time really is just a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff. They save the day again, and manage not to miss the school bus.
 *  : Hoboes mutate.
 * : A dying old man says something very strange on his deathbed, prompting someone to order someone else to interview everyone he ever met to try and find out what he meant.
 * : Guy quits his job to be with his girlfriend. This proves to be short-lived.
 * : Photographer gets stuck in a fight between a childhood friend and a bus inspector.
 * : An orphan and a circus strongman must team up to overcome an octopus and some quirky clones. They are both helped and hindered by fleas.
 * A Mad Scientist lives on an oil rig with a little person, some semi-retarded clones, and a Brain In a Jar. The scientist can't dream, so he kidnaps children to try to steal their dreams for himself. It was probably a mistake to kidnap Hellboy's little brother, though.
 *  : A minimum-wage employee gets called into work on his day off, and gets to hang out with his best friend and play hockey.
 *  : Aging slackers experience life crisis when place of employment burns to ground.
 * : A sadist has therapy. (from an actual TV listing guide)
 * Alternatively: Teenager gets arrested for killing a Crazy Cat Lady. Then he was released, and sees what's changed. Brainwashing is involved.
 *  : A Bungling Inventor creates a machine to make food out of water so everyone won't have to eat sardines.
 *  : A guy really ought to leave town right away, but stays to be with some chick he dated once.
 * Or: When a child gets hopelessly lost in New York City, the residents are none too happy about it. They all take turns trying to kill it to get it to stop making so much noise and breaking stuff.
 * Or: A Japanese soft drink company indirectly destroys New York. The viewer only knows this if they spend too much time on the internet.
 *  : Dr. Frank 'N Furter, Doc Brown, and a bunch of other blackmail victims run around a big house looking for a murderer and debating simple mathematics.
 * Or, Vlad Masters and Dr. Frank-N-Furter star in a movie based on a board game.
 * : An overdressed girl goes shopping and gives her new friend a make-over. She's into a guy that is not into her. There's another guy who she cannot stand because he's a total geek, and he's always ragging on her, but he's way cuter than she first thought so it's cool. And it's based on a book.
 * Or: A teenager from the Valley tries to play matchmaker with the people in her life. In doing so, she learns more about herself and what is more important in life.
 *  : Two guys meet at a cafe. Two more people meet at a different cafe. And it goes on like this.
 *  : A young woman is orphaned and goes to live with some relatives in the country.
 *  : A killer and a taxi driver share a life changing trip around night-time LA, and discuss jazz.
 *  : Rich immigrant tries to trick women into marriage.
 *  : Man with peculiar accent helps former co-worker let off some steam.
 *  : Man with peculiar accent's life is ruined by the voice of CNN.
 *  : Man fights against plane hijackers just to see his daughter. Also known as "Criminals On A Plane".
 * : A number of German bureaucrats assemble in a country mansion to ratify an unpopular policy. Contains scenes of posturing and fine dining.
 * : A detective in a parable about the dangers of smoking and not having a good exit plan for your afterlife. Has nothing to do with the comic book.
 * : A girl tries to free her ignorant parents.
 * : A man finds himself in a Love Triangle involving a dead woman.
 * Alternatively: A ghost comes back to life because a shy groom practiced his wedding vows in the wrong place.
 * : Amnesiac loner goes to ghost town. Strange visitors follow him.
 * : A very angry man will die if he stops moving.
 * Better yet: A very angry white man with a shaved head will die if he stops beating up ethnic stereotypes.
 * : A very angry man will die unless he electrocutes himself.
 *  : A movie producer is drawn into the world of people who are sexually aroused by being in car crashes.
 *  : A young boy reads a comic book in which an undead being searches for cake, Leslie Nielsen is a deranged millionaire (though not the Deranged Millionaire), Stephen King turns into a plant, Adrienne Barbeau gets eaten by a baboon, and cockroaches amass in an apartment.
 *  : Two members of Le Cops Sportif go to a mountain university to look for a killers of Those Wacky Nazis. Only takes 'em one day.
 * And It's sequel: Same cop sportif and a new guy go after a Those Wacky Nazis Ancient Conspiracy killers (who are high) of a biblical historical Reenactment group.
 *  : An incompetent terrorist fails to notice what kind of bar he's in.
 *  : In the future, unsubscribing from a mailing list is really complicated
 * : Elric Penley is a crazy inventor who takes rabbits from people's yards and then tries to track himself down. He and Amon Göth are rivals for the affections of Bellatrix Lestrange.
 * : Elric Penley is a crazy inventor who takes rabbits from people's yards and then tries to track himself down. He and Amon Göth are rivals for the affections of Bellatrix Lestrange.