Naruto Veangance Revelaitons/Characters

A list of characters in Naruto Veangance Revelaitons.

'''Note: While this is a Self-Insert Fic and the author frequently complains about his life in the author's notes (sometimes letting it influence the story), a real life section would be just asking for a Flame War.'''

Team 7
== Ronan Beelzub (Beelzebub?) == The main character, who recently moved to the village of Konohagakure. From there, he proceeds to dominate the story, having sex with many female characters and becoming King of the ninjas.

. refer to him by the author's first name]] with Sakura for all eternity]]. "slut," "whore" and "cunt" toward the women he has sex with, abuses them and considers them (except for Sakura) expendable. feet long. (Granted, the latter is supposedly a typographical error, but Jake's correction indicates that Ronan's penis is the ridiculously large four feet long). the search for her, angering Sasuke.He later masturbates to Sakura getting raped by Taliana. modern music, but commutes them to life imprisonment because the author had some complaints. the first time he rescues her everything, but after, Sakura asks why, and immediately understands after he says he loves her and Taliana more. to Justin Bieber before going off on a tangent about how much he and modern music suck. In the story, [[Curb Stomp Battle curb stomping Orochimaru]] when all of Team 7 fails homosexuals despite not liking gay men comes off as this. blonde-haired woman and gray-haired man's eyes, then takes out one of the brown-haired woman and red-haired man's eyes]]. Ekaj from being killed, but isn't able to prevent the end of the world]] when they become hysterical over his plan to serve as a Fake Defector, but this comes off as closer to physical abuse than most examples of the trope. the world]]. balls because he doesn't want to be seen as a homosexual. Taliana. the Sword of Ukijamaya. his songs that are shown are (for lack of a better word) terrible. ""YEAH YEAH GIRL WAN FUCK U HRD TIGHT LITTLE PUSSY MY DICKS HARD!"
 * Always Save the Girl: Takes this to its natural conclusion when
 * Anti-Hero: Type IV or V
 * Author Avatar: To the point where [[Freudian Slip characters sometimes
 * : [[spoiler:To have sex
 * Bastard Boyfriend: Repeatedly throws around terms such as "bitch,"
 * Berserk Button: Anything Jake doesn?t like.
 * Bigger Is Better in Bed: Has a penis that is anywhere from two to ''45'
 * Boring Invincible Hero: The only questionable part is the "hero".
 * Breath Weapon: His Blue-Eyes White Dragon form can breathe fire.
 * But Now I Must Go:.
 * The Chosen One: First to defeat Orochimaru, and later to destroy the world.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: Ronan masturbates to a picture of Sakura during
 * Disproportionate Retribution: Hands down death sentences for liking
 * Dude, She's Like, in a Coma: Has sex with Sakura when she's unconscious after
 * Easily Forgiven: Gets off without consequences for virtually
 * Establishing Character Moment: Within the narration, comparing his hair
 * Even Evil Has Standards: His refusal to allow the Council to kill
 * Eye Beams
 * Eye Scream: [[spoiler:Does this to the Council, taking out both the
 * Fake Defector: [[spoiler:Joins the Council to prevent Sakura, Atni and
 * Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: Does this to Sakura, Atni
 * Glowing Eyes: [[spoiler:After joining the Council to help them destroy
 * Groin Attack: Launches one on Madara but avoids hitting him in the
 * Inverted when he uses his penis to make a Megaton Punch against
 * Heroes Prefer Swords: Has a katana with his name on it, and later gets
 * Hollywood Atheist
 * Idiot Hero
 * Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons: His jutsus often involve dragons
 * Informed Ability: He's said to be a great musician, but the parts of

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH MY DICK IS LIKE A BIG FAT ROCKET"

AND [[Painful Rhyme UR PUSSYS LIKE A HOLE AND I FUCK U HARD AND IV GOT A HUGE POLE]]" ""[[Wangst FICKING SLUT U UGLY WHORE U HURT MY HEART U FUCKING
 * undefined"

BITCH JUST DIE!Q]]" ""FUCK YEAH SUCK MY DICK FUCKING WHORE MMM MMM YEAH I WANT MORE!""

housework are supposedly proof that he?s not perfect. intolerant of other people?s opinions, and is willing to injure people for looking at him wrong. corrupt after he fails to get a divorce from Taliana. He also seems to go into this trope from the author's perspective when, while working for Madara, he kills Benji. being the mole on his face. care when what he's doing is painful to Sakura, but yells at her when she does something he doesn't like. Taliana and Sakura more]]. which Sakura thinks is sexy. Apparently, he's always had the bandaid there - he just never bothered to mention it before.... or since. homosexuals and even people who don't share his taste in music. reuniting with Sakura, viewers are told that his eyes are glowing, signifying his having joined "the darkside"]] the author's attempts to make him seem more believable. discover]]. prince and led zepplin and [[Bon Jovi bon jovi]]" never gets called out for it]].
 * Informed Flaw: The mole on his face and his alleged inability to do
 * "It's Not Rape If You Enjoyed It": His typical philosophy.
 * Jerkass: Is abusive and hypocritical towards his girlfriends,
 * Karma Houdini:
 * Kavorka Man: Though it's really his personality that makes him ugly.
 * Kick the Son of a Bitch: Killing a judge who turns out to be evil and
 * Lolicon: Has been shown to be into this as well.
 * Manly Tears: in Chapter 67.
 * Men Can't Keep House: One of two so-called "flaws" he is given, the other
 * Mood Swinger
 * Moral Myopia: Quite a bit of it. Even during the sex scenes, he doesn't
 * Off with His Head:.
 * : [[spoiler:Kills Mandy because he loves
 * Oh My Dawkins
 * Only Mostly Dead:
 * Pointless Band-Aid: In chapter 55, he gets one on the side of his face,
 * Politically Incorrect Hero: He's sexist, hates religion, dislikes
 * Rain, Rain, Go Away: Hates the rain.
 * Really Gets Around: Had sex with all the girls in his home town.
 * Sex Is Good: According to Ronan.
 * Sizeshifter: Can make himself grow.
 * Skinship Grope: Does this to Enti.
 * Traitor Shot: [[spoiler:After agreeing to help the council and
 * Unexplained Recovery:.
 * Urine Trouble: Sometimes urinates on his defeated enemies.
 * Wave Motion Gun: His beams of blue light.
 * Weaksauce Weakness:
 * The Worf Effect: Suffers more defeats as the story goes on as part of
 * Would Hit a Girl: [[spoiler:As Taliana and the female half of the Council
 * X Meets Y: Ronan describes his band as sounding "like a cross betwen
 * Your Cheating Heart: Regularly cheats on Sakura [[Double Standard and
 * You Monster!: Says this to Madara as he is

== Naruto == The former main character of the series, who spends much of his time whining about how Ronan is better than he is. spoiler:This leads him to commit suicide, and eventually come back as a villain, only to be defeated by Ronan.

Sakura along with him being better than him in several other regards. Ronan to punch him and make death threats against him, but he's unwilling to let Sakura cheat on Ronan with him, and after he does it, commits suicide partly out of shame]]. fic, along with some of the heroic deeds Naruto did spoiler:before turning evil. bombing, his suicide and his defeat by Ronan in Benji's ending]]. kidnaps Sakura after Ronan claims that he saved him after he committed suicide]], except this never actually happened; [[spoiler:Ronan let him die and didn?t care]].
 * Crazy Jealous Guy: Angry about Ronan getting together with his "GF",
 * Demoted to Extra
 * Disney Villain Death:
 * Driven by Envy: Of Ronan.
 * : [[spoiler:He's angry enough with
 * : [[spoiler:He's angry enough with
 * : The Wave Country arc is referenced in this
 * : The Wave Country arc is referenced in this
 * Humongous Mecha:
 * : [[spoiler:Three times; the temple
 * Ungrateful Bastard: Supposedly, as he [[spoiler:attacks Ronan and

== Sakura == Ronan's girlfriend and eventual wife. She goes along with everything he does, no matter how much she suffers as a result. She has been reduced from a (arguably) competent fighter to someone who can't get up by herself if she falls. She is also the mother of Mandy, and Taliana was cloned from her.

at the end, and she still gets pregnant and gives birth. spoiler:And twice, at that. with Ronan for all eternity]]. the antidote turning her Christian]]. scarred from what she went through, but Naruto promises to help her work through it]]. K/L/M/however-big-jake-wants breasts here, despite her A-Cup Angst in canon. tells her to and puts up with mistreatment. She also goes from canonically starting out weak and arguably becoming quite competent, to being completely helpless almost from the get-go. a regular basis. spoiler:In Chapter 41, she might be gone for a longer period of time than usual. spoiler:Killed off by the Council for no apparent reason other than to motivate Ronan to participate in the tournament. happenings. to cut off her vagina to prove her love for him, then does it when he tells her to do it]]. their enemies. . by the fact that she won't have sex with Ronan or Sasuke]]. ""[[spoiler:You. You stole my virginity. You abused me. You made me do
 * Absurdly Youthful Mother: According to Word of God, 13 at the start and 16
 * Anti-Hero: Being complicit in Ronan?s misdeeds makes her Type IV at best.
 * : [[spoiler:To have sex
 * Berserk Button: Anyone speaking ill of Ronan.
 * : In Chapter 40, [[spoiler:as a result of
 * Break the Cutie: [[spoiler:In Benji's ending, she reveals that she's
 * Buxom Is Better: Why she is constantly described as having double
 * : In Chapter 29
 * Chickification: Plays the passive girl that does whatever Ronan
 * Damsel in Distress: Has no combat skill whatsoever and gets kidnapped on
 * Damsel in Distress: Has no combat skill whatsoever and gets kidnapped on
 * Dropped A Bridge on Her:
 * Extreme Doormat
 * Gasshole: Played for Fan Service.
 * Hysterical Woman: Is frequently up in arms over the slightest of
 * Hysterical Woman: Is frequently up in arms over the slightest of
 * Love Martyr: When Ronan accuses her of cheating, she [[spoiler:offers
 * Megaton Punch:
 * Mood Swinger
 * Neutral Female: Cries and holds on to Ronan as he fights and defeats
 * No-Holds-Barred Beatdown:.
 * Not So Harmless:, and
 * OOC Is Serious Business: [[spoiler:Her being brainwashed is highlighted
 * Precision F-Strike:, combined with This Is Sparta.
 * Put on a Bus:.
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
 * undefined"

the most vile sex acts imaginable. You made me compliant to crimes against humanity. At this point, I don't even know what of that was the Genjutsu and what was reality, but regardless, I only have one real response to your declaration of 'i luv u': FUCK. YOU!]]" ending]]. thinks it's Naruto's child this time.]] sex. sex, yet the disproportionate (albeit self-inflicted) punishment she underwent, the hypocrisy in Ronan casting blame on her and Ronan's unlikeability can paint her as this.
 * Shallow Love Interest
 * Tears of Joy: [[spoiler:After reuniting with her friends in Benji's
 * Teen Pregnancy:
 * Had Mandy as a teenager.
 * [[spoiler: In Chapter 59, she tells Ronan that she's pregnant again
 * : Chapter 32
 * Your Cheating Heart: Cheats on Ronan in Chapter 22 out of a need to have
 * Sympathetic Adulterer: Possibly. She cheats merely out of a desire for

== Sasuke == Part of Team 7. He is apparently killed when the temple explodes, .

""wtf??? how can u b asexu???? [[All Men Are Perverts al guys liv sex
 * Asexual: Mentioned to be as such, to which Ronan responds with:
 * undefined"

DUH!]] mosg irls 2 i bet u jst need 2 fuk som1 then ull b good" destroyed the temple, and turned Christian]] looks like a snake. described as making him more evil]] spoiler: his Face Heel Turn. In fact, his evil scheme is to turn all of the Shinobi Nations fat. . from Orochimaru]] Ronan is away]]. bombing, resulting in it having no victims at all.]] In Famous and Red Dead Redemption late in the fic, as a way of showing his lack of taste.]] hearing criticism of Christianity]]
 * : [[spoiler:Kidnapped after the bomb
 * Breath Weapon:.
 * Cool Train: He in a train that
 * : [[spoiler:Although said brainwashing is
 * Fat Bastard: Is constantly described as a "ugly fat guy" after
 * Kill It with Fire:
 * Satellite Character: Described as being Sakura's friend at first.
 * Satellite Character: Described as being Sakura's friend at first.
 * Scaled Up: [[spoiler:Can turn into a giant snake with powers he got
 * : [[spoiler:Takes over Konoha while
 * : [[spoiler:He also survived the temple
 * : [[spoiler: Plays
 * Weaksauce Weakness: [[spoiler:Listening to music the author likes or

== Kakashi == Part of Team 7. He is apparently killed when the temple explodes spoiler:but comes back as Ronan's sidekick, only to be killed again in the tournament.

needed one more contestant.]] randomly killed off by the darkness]]. the acid sea challenge]] Ronan over his performance in having sex with Mei, Ronan wonders if he's in love with him, and Kakashi denies this. still alive, and Sasuke is evil now. In Benji's ending, he survived yet again]]. characters, and even loses against some Mooks.
 * Big Damn Heroes:.
 * :[[spoiler:Chapter 50, as the tournament
 * :[[spoiler:Chapter 50, as the tournament
 * : [[spoiler:In Chapter 53, he is
 * : [[spoiler:In Chapter 53, as a result of
 * The Lancer:
 * Mistaken for Gay: While sucking up to
 * Satellite Character: Described as Sakura's friend.
 * : [[spoiler:Kakashi and Sasuke are
 * We Are Team Cannon Fodder: Completely useless in battle against any named

Ronan?s Harem
== Sakura == See Team 7

== Mandy Waterfall == Ronan and Sakura?s daughter/clone, who grows up almost instantly and becomes one of the girls has sex with.

choose between her and Sakura]] incest because she's a clone, [[Freudian Slip but accidentally says that it "would" be incest]]. rest of the female characters]]. She never contributes anything to the plot, and is never seen apart from Sakura and/or Taliana. apparently, from her second death, given her reappearing in Chapter 66]] being born.
 * : [[spoiler:By Ronan, when forced to
 * : [[spoiler:By Ronan, when forced to
 * : [[spoiler:By Ronan, when forced to
 * Parental Incest: With both her parents. The author claims that it's not
 * Plot-Relevant Age-Up: Grows up almost instantly
 * Satellite Character: [[Up to Eleven To an even greater extent than the
 * Shallow Love Interest
 * Unexplained Recovery: [[spoiler:From being eaten by Madara, and
 * Younger Than They Look: Aged up to Sakura's age within a day or so of

== Da cooger/Fiona == An older woman (hence her title) Ronan rescues from Orochimaru after taking shelter with her. She eventually gets killed by Madara, but comes back in spirit form to help Ronan.

pulled her out of Madara's throat in Chapter 49. Despite that she was already dead at first. She then apparently dies yet again when sacrificing herself to resurrect Ronan in Chapter 66,]] by sucking his penis. again in Chapter 58 after she saves Ronan to tell him that she's gone for good but will make cameos to deliver a prophecy, and sacrifices herself in Chapter 66 to save Ronan.]] second death; Ronan pulls her out but she still dies]]. seemingly becomes her name. However, she is referred to as "Fiona" in Chapter 34. Fiona was actually first mentioned in Chapter 7, but nobody would have guessed that was Da Cooger's real name due to a confusing POV switch and assumed Fiona was a different woman who was randomly thrown in. more the result of happening three chapters from the end of the story]] body, and someone who helps Ronan by healing him and giving him advice. body.
 * : [[spoiler: She apparently dies after Ronan
 * Chapter 67.
 * Horrifying the Horror: For a ghost head, she gets easily scared of anything.
 * Intimate Healing: Can heal Ronan from otherwise fatal injuries
 * Intimate Healing: Can heal Ronan from otherwise fatal injuries
 * Killed Off for Real: [[spoiler:Twice in Chapters 7 and 49. She appears
 * : [[spoiler:Eaten by Madara as part of her
 * Ms. Exposition: Provides exposition about the prophecy.
 * No Name Given: "da cooger" is initially a term to refer to her, then
 * Off With Her head
 * Rule of Three: [[spoiler:Her third death is final, although it could be
 * Satellite Character: Basically the head that comes out of Sakura's
 * Spirit Advisor: Usually coming out as a spirit head or out of Sakura's

== Taliana == A girl who is described as an evil clone of Sakura, who turns out to be . Ronan has sex with her, and briefly marries her, but after several cases of switching sides, she seemingly permanently settles on the side of evil spoiler:until her death in Chapter 33, at the hands of her former lover Ronan.

torn apart and pooped on]]. kill Ronan and his other girlfriends, and having sex with him, sometimes in the course of a single chapter. catgirls]]. relationship problems with Katie]].
 * BFG: Wields one against Ronan at the concert.
 * and
 * [[spoiler:Beaten up, set on fire,
 * Heel Face Revolving Door: She frequently alternates between trying to
 * Hell-Bent for Leather: Her usual wardrobe.
 * Katanas Are Just Better: Uses one to [[spoiler:kill the seven remaining
 * : [[spoiler:As a result of Jake having
 * Mind Over Matter: Can use telekinesis on Sakura.
 * Shock and Awe: Can call down lightning to kill large groups of people.
 * Sizeshifter: Can make herself grow 12 feet tall.
 * Spare Body Parts: Is able to pop out a second pair of breasts.
 * Sizeshifter: Can make herself grow 12 feet tall.
 * Spare Body Parts: Is able to pop out a second pair of breasts.

comes back from the assassination attempt, but is given one last chance to kill Ronan]].
 * You Have Failed Me: [[spoiler:Dropped down a "trapped door" after Ronan

== The Leather Pussies ==

A group of 160 catgirls under Madara?s command who are persuaded to defect to Ronan?s side when he gives them an orgasm and enables them to break free from Madara's control.

trope when they do it to Madara, and this also applies to when they're raping Sakura. are killed by the Kibusi President?s theater bomb, 3 are eaten by Madara and the rest are killed by Taliana]]. Action Girl, but they only win against Madara because he's allergic to them. zoshiyanahasu-itakamajiduonisaabozai-equanidafutara.
 * Brainwashed: At first.
 * Catgirl
 * Double Standard Rape (Female on Male): The primary beneficiaries of this
 * Dropped Three Bridges On Them: [[spoiler:150
 * Faux Action Girl: Introduced because the author claims he likes an
 * Hell-Bent for Leather
 * Just Desserts:.
 * Mauve Shirt: Becky.
 * Mooks
 * Mook Face Turn
 * Overly Long Name: Becky?s real name,
 * Red Shirt:
 * Sex Face Turn
 * Spare Body Parts: All have SIX pairs of breasts on each torso.

== Mei ==

The Fifth Mizukage. She's brainwashed by the Kibusi Corporation, but Ronan defeats and has sex with her.

with Ronan one attack.
 * Brainwashed: By the head of the Kibusi Corporation.
 * Expressive Hair: Begins to look like tentacles while she's having sex
 * Faux Action Girl: Supposedly actually fights, but Ronan defeats her in
 * Prehensile Hair: Apparently her hair can form tentacles.
 * Redemption Equals Sex
 * Sex Face Turn

== Atni ==

A female contestant that appears at the tournament in Chapter 50. She later becomes part of his harem and spoiler:has sex with Ronan's son Nanor/Ekaj.

Earth with the kind of people Ronan approves of]]. entire head into her anus. Earth]]. round, but we don't see any proof of it. ([[Don't Explain the Joke XD LMAO DO U GUYS GET DAT? BECUS TEY JST HAD DAT CHALENGE WIT TEH LAVA ?]]) has had sex with Ronan the most frequently for the amount of time she's been in the story. second girlfriend, Tina. of the tournament, by a blatant ripoff of Exodia that Ronan summons]], but is revived after.
 * : [[spoiler:Charged with repopulating the
 * Ass Shove: After "stretching her out", Ronan proceeds to shove his
 * Beta Couple: [[spoiler:Ends up with Ekaj, especially after Ronan leaves
 * Faux Action Girl: Supposedly good enough to survive until the final
 * I Broke a Nail: Happens to her in the acid challenge.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: "hey ur hot i tink i luv u wanne be LAVAS?"
 * Lightning Glare: At the redhead man from The Council.
 * Meganekko: Combined with...
 * Meido
 * Ms. Fanservice Is falling into more and more fanservice tropes, and she
 * Redundancy Department of Redundancy: "she had a dustr 4 dusting".
 * Ring of Fire:.
 * Sailor Fuku: Wears this when she's about to receive Ronan's "punishment."
 * Significant Anagram: Her name is presumably based on the author's
 * Token Mini-Moe: Is described as this in Chapter 51.
 * Unexplained Recovery: [[spoiler:Killed in the card duel, the last round
 * White-Haired Pretty Girl
 * Who Wears Short Shorts?

Antagonists
President of the US.
 * Five-Bad Band
 * Big Bad: The Council
 * The Dragon: Madara
 * The Evil Genius: The President of the Kibusi Corporation and the
 * The Brute:
 * The Dark Chick: Taliana.

== Orochimaru == The initial main antagonist. Little else is known about him.

his last fight against Ronan, it's revealed that Sasuke has absorbed him]]. his evil schemes, and only comes up when his name is mistakenly used in Madara's place, and when it is mentioned that spoiler:Sasuke absorbed his form. unclear whether this is based off of his true form in the manga. which isn't too much of a deviation from canon, but then Ronan curb stomps him to establish himself as more powerful than him or all of Team 7 combined.
 * : [[spoiler:The first time he's mentioned after
 * Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Fades from the plot in the middle of one of
 * Reptiles Are Abhorrent
 * Scaled Up: The only description of him is as a giant snake. It?s
 * Villain Exit Stage Left: Often retreats just as Ronan gains the upper hand.
 * The Worf Effect: Defeats all of Team 7 in their first battle with him,

== Madara == Orochimaru?s replacement as main antagonist.

of those situations does he try to kill him. have been a good way to make money. fields, spoiler:Mandy and three of the catgirls, but it's never explained how his allergies don't kill him in that case. Chapter 34]] Red Dead Redemption late in the fic, as [[Take That a way of showing his lack of taste]]. temporarily succeeds]]. in time]] this, and is brought back]].
 * Bad Boss: Eats the slaves who fail him in his rice plantation.
 * Big Bad: At first.
 * Bond Villain Stupidity: Frequently has Ronan at his mercy, but in none
 * Cut Lex Luthor a Check: His use of slavery aside, his rice business might
 * I Love the Dead: Has sex with da cooger's corpse.
 * I'm a Humanitarian: Eats one of the midgets who doesn?t work well in the
 * I'm a Humanitarian: Eats one of the midgets who doesn?t work well in the
 * Katanas Are Just Better
 * Large Ham: Likes shouting and acting dramatic.
 * Tap on the Head: [[spoiler:Knocks out Ronan after defeating him in
 * Villains Out Shopping: Plays In Famous and
 * Weaksauce Weakness:.
 * Wedding Smashers: Shows up at Ronan?s wedding to kill him [[spoiler:and
 * Ye Olde Butchered English: Supposedly picked up by [[Hand Wave going back
 * [[spoiler:He gets a non-fatal version of
 * Your Mom: He tries to use this against Ronan, but fails.

== The Council /  == Three (later retconned to two) men and two women who are in charge of the antagonists.

her out of it with an antidote that turns her Christian]]. redhead is actually a male, as well as there also being a gray-haired man. Fundamentalist Christians. [[Informed Attribute Or at least we're supposed to think so.]] after they lose]] after they lost an eye]]. the brown-haired woman lost her right eye, and the other two lost both their eyes from Ronan's attack]] urinated on]]. she is a Nazi. taking his duel glove off. the council is retconned to have a German accent. threatening Sakura and Atni's safety]]. don't hand down any punishment despite convicting them. as accent for the blonde woman). putting up barriers. women. announce his return]]. the two females]], who concede that their lesbian sex is against Christianity, but do it anyway. Still, they all want to destroy a medallion which supposedly gives the user power to have sex for all eternity. woman, as mentioned above. this is so they can make out/have sex with each other. Interestingly enough, the female members are the most vocal and active, and have some semblance of individuality. are feminists. . strong enough to knock him out. "Brown Haired Woman: "THIS! MEANS! WARRRRRRRRR!""
 * Batman Gambit: [[spoiler:Putting Sakura into a coma so they can bring
 * Blondes Are Evil: The German woman.
 * Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: Sort of. Although instead of three girls, the
 * The Fundamentalists: All of them are
 * Cool Chair
 * Death Glare: The redhead man gives Enti/Atni this.
 * Evil Gloating
 * Evil Is Petty: spoiler:Kills the entire audience of the [[Cooking Duel
 * Evil Laughter
 * Evil Old Folks: The gray-haired man, though his age is never exactly given.
 * Evil Redhead: One of the men.
 * Eyepatch of Power: [[spoiler:The brown-haired woman and red-haired man,
 * : [[spoiler:The red-haired man lost his left eye,
 * : [[spoiler:Crushed to death and
 * All Germans Are Nazis: The blonde woman confirms this after Ronan asks if
 * Glove Slap: Right across Ronan's face by the brunette and redhead after
 * Gratuitous German: Sort of. In chapter 30, one of the female members of
 * I Have Your Wife: [[spoiler:Gets Ronan to cooperate with them by
 * Joker Jury: Hold a trial for Ronan and Enti for having sex, but
 * Joker Jury: Hold a trial for Ronan and Enti for having sex, but
 * The Man Behind the Man
 * No Name Given: All members are referred to by their hair color (as well
 * Non-Action Big Bad: Their only defenses against Ronan are running away or
 * Omniscient Council of Vagueness
 * Paper Fan of Doom: Their main choice of weapons.
 * Piss-Take Rap:
 * Plot-Based Voice Cancellation:  punishment.
 * Retcon: Used to be three men and two women, but now is two men and two
 * Right-Hand-Cat: They have one [[spoiler:that gets killed by Ronan to
 * Sex Is Evil: Stated by all the members. Well, maybe except for [[Les Yay
 * Sex Is Evil and I Am Horny: The brown haired woman and the blond German
 * The Smurfette Principle: Averted. Two of the members are female, but
 * Straw Feminist: In addition to being capitalists and Christians, they
 * Sunglasses At Night: The gray-haired man and the blonde-haired woman.
 * Tap on the Head: The brunette woman gives Ronan this. It's somehow
 * This Is Sparta

German, and not Hungarian or Eastern European as is usual for the trope. corners them. The women are willing to be Ronan's sex slaves and the men are willing to be his household servants, but neither will convert to atheism and "logicalness", and are killed for it]]. Corporation, gives Madara a horrifying punishment and drops Taliana down a trap door]]
 * Vampire Vords: The German Woman, despite being... well,
 * Villainous Breakdown: Chapter 67 after.
 * Villains Want Mercy: [[spoiler:They beg for their lives once Ronan
 * Weaksauce Weakness:.
 * You Have Failed Me: [[spoiler:Kills the president of the Kibusi

== President of the Kibusi Corporation == The president of a corporation that exists in this version of the Narutoverse. spoiler:He tries to set a trap for Ronan in the "Sibone" theater, but it fails. He is killed for this failure, and then replaced by a second president, who is later on killed by Ronan after not being of use to the council anymore. looking for a cure for Sakura's coma]]. and defeats Ronan in a fight]] for Ronan and explanation after being killed for his failure, but it's revealed in Chapter 37 that it is indeed another person in the same position]]. third appearance, two chapters after his introduction.]] the theater bomb fails to kill Ronan. The second one is abandoned by the Council for his failures]]
 * Arc Villain: The most prominent antagonist while [[spoiler:Ronan is
 * Authority Equals Asskicking: [[spoiler:The second one has special powers
 * Badass in a Nice Suit
 * Corrupt Corporate Executive
 * Do Not Adjust Your Set: Uses the Sibone Theater to deliver an announcement
 * : [[spoiler:Comes back with no
 * : [[spoiler:The first one, killed off in his
 * : [[spoiler:The first one is killed after

== The President == The President of the United States, who works to advance the ?evil capitalist agenda?. It's unknown if this president is actually Barack Obama, or simply a fictional stand-in President.

isn't a suicide.]]
 * : [[spoiler:His last words, although it
 * President Evil

== The Seven Swordsmen of the Mist == In this version, these swordsmen serve the President of the Kibusi Corporation, who has brainwashed them and forced them to convert to Christianity. The only named members are Kisame, Raiga and Zabuza.

even though he's still on the same side as Madara. ones are dispatched especially easily. Two of them even get killed by Kakashi (while he won against Zabuza in canon, he's almost completely useless here). the stairs.
 * Brainwashed: The reason why Kisame is not working with Akatsuki,
 * Curb Stomp Battle: All of them are defeated easily, but the four unnamed
 * Making a Splash: All of them have water jutsus. Zabuza can even flood
 * Punched Across the Room:
 * Red Eyes, Take Warning / Glowing Eyes
 * Slashed Throat:.

Other Characters
== Edfred == He?s a shopkeeper who doesn?t like Ronan.

out against Madara. appearing any more, since the author dislikes him. spoiler: He reappears in Benji's ending. simultaneous ability to kick ass. leave without having to fight him and Muskoka, not wanting to humiliate them by defeating them. this being that Benji had paid Jake to keep the character alive, most likely knowing he'd be killed by Ronan otherwise. as stated above, [[Informed Wrongness this is supposed to be seen as a bad thing.]] Cohen from Bioshock and Archie "Snake" Simpson from Degrassi" in Benji's text. Considering Jake had previously bashed Benji for liking both of these things, it's likely he used these characters to describe Edfred as a sort of [[Stealth Insult Stealth Insult]]/Writer Revolt against Jake.
 * Badass Gay
 * Big Damn Heroes:
 * Camp Gay
 * Dirty Coward: The author wants him to be seen as one for not helping
 * Hero Antagonist: Comes off as this
 * Jerkass: Supposedly
 * Long Bus Trip: According to the author, he won?t be
 * Manly Gay: Yes, he's both. Mostly due to his flamboyant mannerisms, but
 * Mary Sue Hunter:
 * No Indoor Voice
 * Not Worth Killing: In Chapter 31, Ronan sets up a force field so he can
 * Plot Armor: Ronan beats him up but doesn't kill him, the reason for
 * Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: His typical way of speaking.
 * Sophisticated As Hell: When he curses.
 * What the Hell, Hero?: Frequently calls Ronan out on his actions, although
 * X Meets Y: Is described as looking kind of like "a cross between Xander

== Tadashiharakumaie == An original character based off of the author's real life friend, Danny.

as the parade and cooking duel.
 * As Long as It Sounds Foreign
 * Black Best Friend: Possibly, if he is based off his inspiration.
 * Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Disappears after the Cooking Duel.
 * Mr. Exposition: Most often appears to talk about upcoming events, such
 * Overly Long Name

== Nanor/Ekaj == spoiler:Somehow has Ronan and Naruto as his fathers, and Sakura as his mother

world]] father's; shortly after he's born, he's already having sex]]. Naruto]], but is never seen using them; the only indication that he got any from the former is that he's the only character besides Ronan who consistently wins. It's "Jake" spelled backwards.
 * : [[spoiler:Charged with repopulating the
 * Beta Couple:.
 * Generation Xerox: [[spoiler:His sex drive is as powerful as his
 * Informed Ability: Supposedly inherited powers from [[spoiler:Ronan and
 * The Lancer: To Ronan in the final battle.
 * Manly Tears:.
 * Plot-Relevant Age-Up: The moment he's born, he's twelve years old already.
 * Sdrawkcab Name: Of Ronan, and later the author.
 * Sudden Name Change: Changes his name to "Ekaj" in Chapter 63.
 * Younger Than They Look: Comes out of the womb as a 12 year old.

== Bob ==

The (temporary) Host of The Hineki Kojiyoshai Show ("Hineki Kojiyoshai" supposedly [[Critical Research Failure meaning "DNA Tests For Whores" in Japanese]], according to the narrative). Only appears in one chapter, Chapter 60.

Jake was able to properly write as such. part the father of Ekaj, he kicks Bob in the legs out of anger. (though mostly Ronan) are Ekaj's father throws even the most rudimentary laws of biology out the window. a bit of abuse from Ronan. Not that it's out of character for Ronan to do such, but still. Maury. Also may be one of Torgo. mentioned that Bob's glasses are very shiny, he is never shown to be evil or bad in any way.
 * AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle: Surprisingly. Even more surprising that
 * Agony of the Feet: One of the variants. When Ronan finds out he's only
 * Artistic License: Biology: His explanation for how both Ronan and Naruto
 * Butt Monkey: For the short time that he appears, he is subject to quite
 * Expy: Seems to be a rather bizarre one of Maury Povich from
 * Guest Host: Apparently, he's just filling in for the usual host.
 * One Chapter Wonder
 * Scary Shiny Glasses: Somewhat subverted. While it is

== Muskoka ==

Edfred's boyfriend - he appears in Chapter 31, and spoiler: Benji's ending.

the name of group of lakes and District Municipality in [[Canada, Eh? Ontario, Canada]]. J might be a Shout-Out to [[The Simpsons Homer Simpson's middle name]], and Tuddrussel has to be a shout out to Buck Tuddrussel. ""MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT HOMOSEXUAL LIKE MYSELF, BUT RATHER BISEXUAL.""
 * Awesome McCoolname: His full name is Muskoka J. Tuddrussel. Muskoka is
 * Bi the Way: To quote Edfred...:

due to the relatively short time in which we see him. Ronan, and he appears to be quite intelligent, like Edfred. leave without having to fight him and Edfred, not wanting to humiliate them by defeating them.
 * But Not Too Bi: Only ever displays an attraction to men, but this may be
 * Genius Bruiser/Heroic Build: Is described as "big nd muscley" by
 * No Bisexuals: Ronan tries to apply this to him.
 * Not Worth Killing: In Chapter 31, Ronan sets up a force field so he can
 * Not Worth Killing: In Chapter 31, Ronan sets up a force field so he can
 * Straight Bi