Saints Row (series)/Funny

Saints Row
"Johnny Gat: I'm gonna skullfuck that bitch. Protagonist: Hope you don't mind hepatitis."
 * From the original, as the crew are preparing to battle Tanya, the main character speaks for the first time:

"Protagonist: Yo, can we speed this shit up? I wanna go to Freckle Bitch's."
 * What makes that scene even more funny is the fact that it happens in a elevator with calm music playing in the background while Benjamin King and the player are in total silence then suddenly Johnny Gat comes up with this gem.
 * What's even more hilarious is Gat's "huh?!" look after Boss says his bit. Up to that point he must've assumed he couldn't speak.
 * After a few drinks in the second game, the female Latin boss will call back to this incident like it was the funniest thing ever.
 * Speaking of which, when she brings up her balls. Yeah, her balls.
 * On a Similar Note, the "True Ending" of the game, where the Protagonist interrupts the final speech with:

"Troy: What?"
 * After the failed Carnales assault on Third Street, Troy lights his cigarette on Victor's dead, burning body while Dex looks on in surprise and disgust.


 * This is made even funnier when
 * The end of the Vice Kings mission in which, purely to give Warren Williams a "fuck you", Johnny blows up Kingdom Come Records a second time.
 * The Freckle Bitch ads are a hoot, especially when she announces a free gift for the girls: a pearl necklace.

Saints Row 2
"Tobias: You know, it's a little bit difficult to fly this thing when it's 'FILLED WITH FUCKING BULLETS!"
 * When flying a helicopter and destroying the Sons of Samedi's Loa Dust fields, Tobias has this gem if you're not doing so well.

"Protagonist: I didn't do shit with my hair!"
 * It's his delivery that makes it awesome; most of the time during the mission he sounds like a really calm, stoned Danger Deadpan.
 * Doubly funny with that mission is the fact you are effectively burning down a pot farm from the air. As Tobias starts to make circles over the fields to make sure you got everything, the screen starts to get fuzzy. It only gets more pronounced as the smoke and fire spreads. That's right, the Boss is high as a kite and and has a machine gun.
 * Johnny Gat and Aisha asking you (after coming out of a coma and a possible gender change operation), "Did you do something with your hair?"
 * Which culminates in the Final Mission.

"Judge: Mr. Gat, you've been convicted of over 300 murders. Do you really expect this appeal to work? Johnny: I figure with the statute of limitations, it really should be closer to 250. Judge: There's no statute of limitations for murder! Johnny: Why the fuck not? Judge: Watch yourself, Mr. Gat. Johnny: Or what, you'll hold me in contempt of court? You're already planning on giving me the chair, do you really think I give a shit about you not liking me? Fuck off. Judge: I'm curious to see if your cavalier attitude holds up when over 3,000 volts are running through your body. Johnny: Oh yeah? And I'm curious to see if you'll stop acting like a douchebag when I shove that gavel up your ass! Legal Lee: My client would like that stricken from the record!"
 * Johnny's trial in Saints 2 is awesome.

"Legal Lee: Uh, anybody hit and need a lawyer?"
 * Then the Boss enters the room to bust Johnny out and holds up a cop. The cop drops his gun, which discharges. Everyone ducks for cover (except for Johnny, proving how much of a badass he is), but Legal Lee pokes his head out from behind the desk, capping the scene off with another CMOF.

""Why is there a little person talking in the phone?" "Holy shit, Boss! Are you high?" "Hold on little person in phone, I'll save you." "... I'm gonna die, great...""
 * In the mission Bad Trip, The Boss is kidnapped and drugged for an "interview" with the high-ranking Sons of Samedi members in the General's limo. The Boss escapes the limo and has to protect the Saints hideout from attacking Samedi... all while higher than a kite. The dialogue during this mission is pretty hilarious.

"Shaundi: Holy shit, are you fuckin' high!? Male Voice 3: (placidly) Si, yo soy."
 * Some other possible lines in the level include things like the Boss claiming that Shaundi's voice was stolen by a little plastic box, and actually speaking Spanish.

"Mr. Sunshine: They call me Mr. Sunshine. Boss: Well listen here, sunshine. I don't care how fucked up your face is. I ain't scared of you, or that other arsehole."
 * A great moment during that scene was with Male Voice 1 (British) Boss' exchange with Mr. Sunshine. This is made even funnier when you know that the name is in fact a slang in British English as well, and the delivery is just perfect.

"Shaundi: Are you sure? They'll probably send more guys to try and kill us. Boss: You- you can handle them, right? Shaundi: Probably not. Boss: (relaxed) That- that's nice. (passes out) Shaundi: Fuckin lightweights."
 * The cutscene after completing Bad Trip:

""I'd feel better about our odds if our leader wasn't fucking high.""
 * Which the Boss calls back to... one of the voices when drunk might say "Nobody better call me a fucking lightweight."
 * And Pierce shares his thoughts defending the Saints hideout.

"You know those boys don't wanna play no more with youuuu... 'cause you suck bitch! (when the chorus happens for the first time) Oh shit, oh shit! (imitates guitar riff) ... Guitars, guitars and shit, ohhhh shit!"
 * If you wait around for A-Ha's Take On Me to play on the radio, the character will sing along with it. Quite amusing.
 * In addition to Take On Me, every character voice gets another song that they sing along to. For example, Female Voice 1 (Caucasian) will sing to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears, Male Voice 2 (Afro-American) sings to Sister Christian by Night Ranger, Female Voice 3 (Latina) sings with Land Down Under by Men at Work... the list goes on.
 * One of the funniest ones is Male Voice 1 singing along to The Final Countdown. Funny enough already but made absolutely hilarious because of how terrible he is at it.
 * Same with Female Voice 1, she doesn't know the first few parts of it, just mumbles something, hell, maybe all of the voices don't know how to sing.
 * Male Voice 2 (i.e. black guy) is hilarious when he sings along to Take On Me, because he gets weirdly excited at the start, and during the final verse he geeks out over the music video.
 * On the topic of male voice 2, his reactions while singing along to Sister Christian aren't bad either.

"[slightly slurred] "Now where can I find a garden gnome? [distraught] I only hurt people coz I'm cryin' on the inside! [slurred again] You know, I bet Shaundi would look hot in a sombrero.
 * One of the voices passes comment on a prison break. "I hope Shaundi wasn't high when she came up with this plan."
 * For some lulz, get your character drunk, they'll toss out some funny shit.

[Mildly annoyed] "Ah shit, I got the spins again...!""

"Dispatcher: (sigh) I can't believe I'm saying this... but there's a chainsaw massacre in progress. Dispatcher: Pirates are fighting ninjas. Repeat, pirates are fighting ninjas. Dispatcher: A bunch of teenagers are having fun. Stop them."
 * While on the voices: Male voice 1 (British) while infiltrating the police station in a late Sons of Samedi mission, trying badly to hide his accent to the police dispatcher.
 * The Fuzz missions have a few.

": You know, you could have brought flowers instead of people trying to kill me. Boss: Bitch, bitch, bitch."
 * When you reach the pirates and ninjas, the battle is dubbed "The Battle of the Century".
 * In the Ronin mission Visiting Hours, you must . All of the voices get great lines, but this editor's personal favorite is Female Voice 1 (the voice actress' delivery of the line really makes it):

"Julius:''You look different, did you do... Boss:'I DIDN'T DO SHIT TO MY HAIR!"
 * Adrenaline mode in the Insurance Fraud diversion causes you to fly much farther when you get hit by a vehicle. It's quite possible to fly across half of Stilwater, randomly collide with another car, and then continue flying about the city, making thousands of cash for every second you're in the air.
 * From the secret mission in 2:

"Boss: For fuck's sake, just die already!"
 * It goes from funny to downright hilarious if you changed the sex of your character from Saints Row to female.
 * After the fight against :

""So... you hungry?""
 * Given the game's tone and suggestive, ah, positions, one of the comments during the Ho-ing activity is this mixed with Squick if you think about it.

"Boss: (after Pierce switches to the classical station) Pierce, when did you get a vagina?"
 * The Boss and Pierce fighting over radio stations whenever they are in the same car.

""This is worse than getting shot." "Pierce, we really need to talk about your taste in music." "Are you shittin' me?" "Son, you're no Ne-Yo." "You're killing me, Pierce.""
 * Bonding Experience (Sons of Samedi mission #7) has quite a few.
 * For example, the opening cutscene has a moment where Pierce is complaining about how the Saints get their information on the gang.
 * And another one comes when the mission starts, when Pierce is complaining again to the Boss, ignoring the Samedi helicopter flying above them.
 * The fun continues with Pierce changing the radio to Ne-Yo's "So Sick" and tries to sing along, but fails horribly, leading to the Boss making comments like these:

""So THIS is what I've been missing out watching anime all day!" "Oh god, please don't be a fucking furry...""
 * The Boss, in the intro of The Enemy of My Enemy (one of the final Brotherhood missions), proves him/herself to be the worst ski-ball player ever.
 * As in he/she basically starts throwing the ski balls overhand like someone would throw a baseball.
 * And still missing.
 * Play the Escort or Hoeing activity. You're guarantied at least one funny line per level. Some of the funniest include:

"Announcer: "NUCLEAR POWER! Its the way to glow!""
 * One escort had the Asian girl(the one that talks about Japan and other shit) and the mistress (talks about the client licking her feet). It was funny.
 * "You're the best."
 * When cruising around Stilwater, you may or may not come across some black rappers. If you do, there is a chance that they may bust out a rhyme in the vein of "I spit like a cobra; bitch I'm supernova!"
 * Several of the radio ads are funny to listen to, such as one boasting about the positives of using "NUCLEAR POWER!" with testimonials of a woman who brags about getting time off work for chemo and a man with a third arm being 50% more productive at work.

"Guy (Drunk): Here, Santa brought you a bottle of scotch! Little Girl: But it's empty! Guy: FUCK YOU!"
 * Then there was the Brown Bagger's commercial:

"Gary Busey: (singing) Come with me! You'll be filled with more lead than a toy from China!"
 * "Reason to visit Rusty's Needles #8: Tramp Stamp Tuesdays."
 * "Bling Bling! The term may be outdated, but out marketing department doesn't care."
 * "Brass Knuckles, for when you really just wanna beat the hell out of people!"
 * The ad for Ship It!, where a Russian spokesperson flubs his attempts to attract people to the store, including outright threatening them and there families, much to the chagrin of the director. The tagline for Ship It! is even "Bad At Marketing, Great At Boats!"
 * A bit of a meta example, but the commercials that Gary Busey did to promote the game mix between hilarious moments and the Nightmare Fuel that is inevitable with anything Busey is involved with.

"TV Announcer: Video surveillance footage captured images of notorious Saints member Johnny Gat and the Saints gang leader in the assault, as well as an unknown accomplice. Pierce: (indignant) Unknown accomplice my ass!"
 * Ronin missions generally get a few of these at Pierce's expense. An early one involves shooting up a Ronin-controlled casino with Pierce and Johnny, and the ending cinematic goes something like this.

"Ronin: I'm not telling you anything. Johnny: Like fuck you won't. (He smashes the Ronin through a glass table) Aisha: Johnny! I just bought that table!"
 * Another Ronin mission has Gat dragging a Ronin to Aisha's house after finding him parading around in Saints turf. One failed attempt at interrogation later, the end results go something like this:

"Ronin: I'll die before I tell you anything. Johnny: Yep. (He shoots the Ronin in the back of the head.) Aisha: Johnny! Johnny: It'll wash out! Aisha: It better."
 * Johnny being Johnny, he doesn't put up with the Ronin's sass for long and...

"Johnny: Uh... can you go on ahead? I... gotta clean up. (He is seen in a later cutscene trying to dispose of a bagged body in a trash can with a disapproving Aisha watching on.)"
 * Finally, after Johnny talks to the Boss about messing up a Ronin nightclub, Aisha returns scowling at Johnny and holding a mop.

"Aisha: "And where were you thinking of having this little meeting?" (Boss and Gat look at each other, thinking for a moment, then start looking around her house. "No." Gat: "Well this place is pretty spacious." Aisha: "No." Boss: "The colors are very soothing." Aisha: "No!" Gat: "Come on, Aish." Aisha: "This ain't no fucking gang clubhouse!" She turns and puts her foot down. She had spoken. Gat, badass extraordinaire, turns to the Boss with a pussy whipped expression and concedes they have to find somewhere else."
 * For that matter, when first meeting Aisha and discussing setting up a new hideout.

"*Rams into car* : "Uuuuunnhhhhh urraaaaaaggggghhhnn!"
 * The Boss is also scared of her too.
 * A random funny event while driving with a few of my homies:

Shaundi: "Well, that came outta nowhere...""


 * While exploring the mall I came across an area I had never been to that looked like a children's playground. Nothing out of the ordinary at first sight, but when when I walked inside a toy doll house I found a on the inside! I wasn't sure wether this was hilarious or disturbing, but it sure leaves a lot of interesting questions...

Saints Row the Third
"Josh: You're going to rob a bank dressed as yourself? Johnny: Hell yeah! Who doesn't want to be Johnny Gat?"
 * When chasing (The Belgian) Loren the British voice will shout "Remember Agincourt, you prick?!". It's even better if the Boss is wearing a full suit of plate armour.
 * Saints Row: The Third already has one in the trailer for the game. Saying anything about it would spoil the video; but it is worth every last second.
 * And the other "warning trailers" about not doing these things in real life.
 * In the beginning of the game, actor Josh Birk wants to tag along with the Saints for a bank robbery to know what it's like. So they rob the bank in giant Johnny Gat bobblehead masks. Including Johnny Gat.

"Boss: Bad plan, bad plan. Shaundi: You're a fucking asshole! Boss: Okay. I guess I deserved that."
 * Judging by the recently release second mission footage, the game seems to be far more lighthearted as opposed to the second game. The Boss and Shaundi share a lot of hilarious banter, and even Johnny has a few moments. Listening to Shaundi scream "ASSHOLE!!!" as The Boss tosses her away, just after catching her in freefall is priceless.
 * That's toss her away after jumping out of a plane. S\he goes back for her after dealing with the Syndicate.

"Boss *Catches Shaundi* I return. Shaundi You're a fucking asshole! Boss But I was right!"
 * Each voice has slightly different dialogue, the Russian female is unrepentant in her version of the scene.

"Shaundi: (after being ambushed by Morning Star troops and Gat saying he'll handle them) What about the plane? Johnny: I'll fly it back to Stilwater. Shaundi: Johnny, you can't even drive stick! How you gonna fly a plane!? Johnny: ... Details, details, just cover da Boss."
 * As mentioned in the first paragraph, even Johnny joins in on the fun.

"Boss: (After Gat comes in over the intercom) Great, who gave Gat a mike?"
 * Shortly after that:

"Johnny: I noticed some of our passengers are getting restless, so here's some relaxin' music for you're enjoyment. (Cheesy elevator music plays and the plane shakes violently) Johnny: Sorry 'bout dat, your captain's having trouble finding the clutch."
 * And shortly after that:

"Boss: Listen, you French fuck. Phillipe: Please, I am Belgian. Johnny: So make yourself a fuckin' waffle! We're done here."
 * After Kiki and Viola explain that the Saints can live if they turn over two-thirds of their profits to the Syndicate:

"Johnny: You're gonna pay royal for that, Frenchie. Phillipe: I am BELGIAN! Johnny: Same thing! Phillipe: I am going to cut that disrespectful tongue from your mouth. Johnny: Oh yeah? You and how many of your... (beat) Oh... that many."
 * As the mission continues, this exchange goes on over the intercom:

"Shaundi: I'm not gonna lie - for a minute, I didn't think you'd make it in time. Boss: Are you kidding me? I'd never let my girl fa--...wait, what is that? Shaundi: What is what? Boss: That plane is... okay, don't freak out or anything, but I think that plane is gonna try and ram us."
 * Finally, as your character has caught Shaundi (during freefall) and deployed his parachute:

"Boss: I'm going to smash through the cockpit, kill a bunch of them and then parachute out the back. Shaundi: Don't you mean we? Boss: Nope."
 * The Female 3 voice says this before dropping Shaundi. While the other voices try to make excuses, she says:

"Kinzie: Alright, you should be seeing a visual representation of the Deckers' user net now. Boss: Know what I see Kinzie? I am a fucking toilet, that's what. Kinzie: Oops, sorry about that, lemme load up another! Boss: I thought you knew what you were doing? Kinzie: I haven't finished your avatar yet, that one's just temporary. Boss: I don't have arms! Kinzie: Just start moving through the data, I'll sort it out soon. (The boss then morphs into a blow up doll.) Boss: This isn't much better! Are you trying to tell me something Kinzie?! Kinzie: Ugh, stop whining you big baby!"
 * Even better it makes the silence afterwards longer than with the other voices.
 * During the mission "Deckers.Die," where you upload yourself into the Decker's user net:

""That was a dick move, unicorn!"
 * Later during that mission boss has to play a text-based "choose your own adventure" game to proceed to Matt. This would be funny enough on its own, but Boss will actually give commentary on the players choices.

"I'm nimble, dammit!" (after tripping over a stone on the floor, breaking your neck)"

"Game:It looks like a unicorn. Boss: Fuck you game!"
 * Male voice 2's reaction to the option "Look at unicorn".

"Is there a lower difficulty?"
 * Male voice 3's reaction as well:

"Boss: What the hell is the STAG Initiative? Zimos: If it's "free porn for everyone," I am down."
 * The best part of the text adventure? In order to move on in the level,
 * The trailer for pre order content warns that the rapidly changing lights may cause seizures. The trailer itself pulls out all the stops in a bit to do just that.
 * When STAG is first introduced into Steelport:

"Boss: Tell me where the manager is, or I'll beat the fuck out of ya. Patron: OH YES! Please hit me, I've been bad! Boss:(complete deadpan) Unexpected..."
 * Pretty much everything Zimos says, due to the fact that A: Every word he utters is in auto-tune, and B: It actually creates music out of his speech. Z-pain in the house, baby.
 * His reaction to Boss calling the painting of him being incredible ugly.
 * Speaking of Zimos, during the, one has to interrogate a patron of the club. Most of the PC's utterances are degrees of disgust. If playing as the cockney male, however...

"Pierce: So how we gonna find this guy? Look for the dude who doesn't look pleased to be wearing a ball gag? Boss: I dunno, look for the motherfucker with the diamond-encrusted Z on his saddle? Pierce: Fuck out of here man, do you expect us to find- (Spots Zimos) Oh. Well that was convenient."
 * And once you get down into the  and are looking for Zimos.

"Zimos: This is a rescue, right; this ain't some elaborate setup for a gangbang? Pierce: Why you gotta put that image in my head bro?"
 * And for the mission's final trick, you actually have to escape the club You can actually shoot the "drivers," but you can also make them explode.

"I hope it isn't hungry! Angel and I are gonna have to have a little talk after this. Does it look like the tiger's the one in danger here?! (shouted at animal-rights activists trying to run you down)"
 * You later visit the same Club again when trying to free several prostitutes. The plan involves faking to sell Boss as sex slave. We don't know how well the plan went because the next thing we see is Boss naked and totaly stoned inside the club.
 * Also the female Brute in a cage during the same mission.
 * Pretty sure that's not a female.
 * The second mission you do for Kinzie, you break into a Deckers base, and Matt and Kinzie have what is only the equivalent to a verbal pissing match on Xbox Live. It's pretty funny.
 * A. FUCKING. TIGER?!
 * Made even funnier that these escort missions show Boss far more afraid than we've ever seen him\her.

"The Boss: (walking in on the mayor making out with a stripper) : Who else could keep this town running? Besides, I love my constituents."
 * "It's the moment everyone's been waiting for. The Murderbrawl Chainsaw!"
 * The fact that the song "You're The Best" starts playing the second you begin your chainsaw massacre also qualifies.
 * The entirety of Gangsters in Space.
 * The Reveal in the mayor's office:

" Quit being such a fanboy."
 * And at the end of the cutscene, after Boss expresses his/her glee at meeting the mayor:

"Boss: Shaundi was really looking forward to meeting you. Birk: Shaundi's here? I'll play your game."
 * The actor who plays Nightblade hitting on Shaundi. All of it.

"Boss: Shaundi? Pierce: Try again man. Boss: Pierce? I thought I called Shaundi. Pierce: Oh you did man. She's just too busy holding herself back from killing Birk to answer. Shaundi: Boss you gotta get me outta here! He's proposed to me six times! Boss: Shaundi this will all be over soon. Trust me. Shaundi: Then can I kill him? Please god tell me I can kill him."
 * He doesn't play along with being kidnapped for long though.

"Birk: I felt that the moment we met. That connection. Shaundi: What.
 * And when s\he meets up with the two Shaundi is still channeling Gat.

Birk: Forbidden love.

Shaundi: Oh my god can I just shoot this guy?"

"Oh, no, no, no. Fuck no. Don't even think about keeping that prick around. I will lose my damn mind."
 * And when Cyrus appears to take Birk back he offers to lay off the heat on the Saints. Birk though wants to join and again professes his love for Shaundi.

"Burt: Hey, you're that girl with the reality show. Shaundi: Yeah I'm Shaundi. Burt: You know you look less like a slut in person. Shaundi: ...thanks?"
 * Homies talk among themselves now and certain combinations can be hilarious Such as Josh Birk with Shaundi or The Mayor, though the three together turn Josh into a total Butt Monkey if he wasn't already.
 * This.

"Male Voice 1: I read Jane Erye 13 times! Male Voice 2: I have an irrational fear of bees! Male Voice 3: I call chips "fries!" Female Voice 1: I'm on a Co-Ed Curling Team! Female Voice 2: I want to have sex with Pierce!...in front of an audience... Female Voice 3: I collect glass unicorns! Pierce: That's good to know."
 * The "Stay Classy Steelport" achievement, which requires the player to kill enemies using the "Penetrator" dildo bat and the "Fart In A Jar" exclusively.
 * In the mission Three Way, since they might die Pierce says they should say anything they want to get off their chest. Oleg mentions he's in love with Kinzie, while Boss, well...

"Oh no Mr Unicorn why? Fuck you unicorn."
 * Oh hell, the Latin voice full stop. Her reaction to the unicorn killing her in the Zork minigame is priceless.

"And my childhood has just been crushed..."
 * Female voice 1 after the unicorn kills her:

"What does the writer have against Unicorns?!"
 * Female 1 is good too after you kill it.

""Dick move Unicorn, Dick move.""
 * Male Voice 1(Troy Baker)'s line about the unicorn is hilarious as well.

" Boss: Well, there was   back in Stilwater...  What? Boss: Nothing, it's...a long story."
 * A hilarious little call back during

" : So, how are you finding Steelport? : It's disgusting. : I agree, I'm more of a Stilwater bloke m'self. : "Bloke"?"
 * She seems to become a running gag. When Pierce and Boss visit Kinzies home, Pierce notice a news paper article about her on a wall. Pierce quickly removes it with a "i hope she won't notice" face.
 * Pierce finding a Penetrator (A giant dildo bat) at Kinzie's place, and messing with the boss.
 * Not to mention his poker face when Kinzie finally turns to look at the two clowns, and he's (very badly) attempting to hide it behind his back.
 * The Boss' incredibly bad acting when
 * Example
 * The best part is that it varies depending on the voice your boss had before . For example with the Cockney Boss:

" : I like men."
 * Female Voice 1 will blurt out this gem:

" : Do I have to issue a direct order to see you naked?!"
 * The Russian Female Boss will ask  if she favors Pierce, while Male Voice 2...

"Male Voice 2 Boss: It's like a hellicopter fucked a jet!"
 * What makes it funnier, is that KIA doesn't mind and says she's more than willing to follow that order.
 * Also what ever respect or taunt you had before starting the mission is still usable, which means you can make Cyrus do a Cancan or act as if he is taking a dumb right infront of all soldiers. Sadly it would have been too much work to give him the lines for them.
 * And yes,  will also speak in the Zombie voice if you so choose.
 * Finding the different "machines" inside the containers during the Ho Boat missions and Boss reaction towards them. Likewise when trying to escape with the girls, one can be seen hanging onto the container with one hand, the whole flight long.
 * Male Voice 2's reaction to switching from hover mode to flight mode in the VTOL.

"Whoooa, Daaanger Zoooooone!!!!!!"
 * Any of the voices when they discover jet mode is a Crowning Moment of Funny\Awesome. Half of them quote Top Gun.

- This is so fucking cool.

"Kinzie: On no, don't you dare! I don't want that thing anywhere near my computer! Boss: Ok, ok... we won't use the tank. Pierce: Really? Boss: Fuck no, we're getting our tank on."
 * In Learning Computer, when the Deckers move the computer out on a flatbed truck, Pierce and Male Voice 1 Boss decide to give chase the only way two gangster bros know how: in a tank.

"Kinzie Okay, following the truck on the street cams, and... oh god, what the hell are you doing?!" Pierce:...Going after the truck. Kinzie: I said DON'T use the tank! Boss: Relax, we won't use the cannon. Pierce: Fake Static... Uh Kinzie...FakeStatic...you're breaking up. Kinzie: No I'm not! You're just using your mouth to pretend like you are!"
 * But Kinzie has access to all the traffic cameras.

"Boss: It's like living inside a rainbow!"
 * The unique things The Boss says, while enjoying his/her drugged state, during "Pimps up, Ho's down". Doubly funny because he/she's butt naked and gunning down enemies. Like Female Voice 1.

"Boss: But where do i put all that ammo?"
 * One is also a Lampshade Hanging when Zimos gives Boss his/her guns back:

"Zimos: You know, you're taking this whole naked thing a lot better than I thought you would. Boss: I'm naked?!"
 * During the mission, the Boss and Zimos share some very... entertaining dialogue.

"Man(singing): "I can hide a boooodddy, but I can't hide my feelings... for YOOOOOOOUUUU!""
 * The radio ad for "Cement Shoes: The Musical" is pretty funny.

"Shaundi: You can't be serious. Boss: What's wrong with that? Shaundi: Getting shot comes to mind. Boss: We could raise money by having you turning out tricks. Shaundi: Also a shitty idea. Boss: You could always get into the Feel Boss business. Shaundi: Not cool. Boss: I'm just throwing out options here. Shaundi: Alright, alright, we'll pick a fight with the military. Boss: Atta girl."
 * After  Shaundi is ready for action. When Boss takes up her sarcastic comment to get guns from the armory she gets second thoughts.

"Viola: Almost forgot. Boss: Is it important? Viola: Try and stay in the plane this time."
 * The Boss' lines change with every type of voice for him or her. Seriously, there's some really cool stuff there and it's worth playing through with each voice just to hear them all.
 * After Matt boasts about how powerful he is, Boss will retort by challenging him to buy a pack of cigarettes. Matt thinks s\he's being ageist in saying this.
 * in the second mission Boss bails out of the Syndicate plane as described above. In Air Steelport Viola is there when Boss hijacks a STAG plane.

"Female(1) Boss: Not cool, plane. Viola: Oh god, what did you do?"
 * Then Boss blows up the cockpit.

"Boss: Come on, Z! We've got a rescue to mount. Zimos: Don't say "mount." Boss: I take it "saddle up" is out of the question? Zimos: If you didn't just bust me out, I'd be walking the other way."
 * Boss having another moment of hidden depths with his/her reaction towards seeing the Decker's during return to Steelport. The female russian voice downright knows their motivation for the way they are, the latina voice finds their outfits sexy and the default female voice actually knows the fashion designer who made their outfits.
 * This part is just funny for some people. In the second game Latin Boss might brag about having the biggest balls in Stillwater. She returns in the third game and in a bid to get to a fleeing Loren she has this giant office ornament ripped out of the ceiling. As it falls a Brute will try and fight her, and she'll go, "Who said you could play with my ball?"
 * Pretty much anything the announcers say during "Genkibowl VII" is hilarious.
 * After saving Zimos from, him and the Boss share a nice bit of banter while driving to Angel's casino.

"*After Jenny misses an impossible stunt jump and lands her and boss in the river* Andy: "A child could have made that jump! A handicapped child! Who was blind!"
 * In a nice shout to the second game, early on, the Boss and Pierce will sing along with "What I Got" by Sublime on the radio. All Boss voices sing along, including the Zombie voice.
 * Andy Zhen may be a complete asshole, but he has some of the best dialog in the "Gangstas In Space" DLC:

Boss: "ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?! NO ONE COULD HAVE MADE THAT JUMP!""