The Fool on Melancholy Hill

""No, you care about him as a person. You don't like it when he gets hurt. It hurts you when he gets hurt.""

- Pretty Rita, "Chapter 9: But It All Works Out"

A fanfic started on June 8, 2010, by a FanFiction.net user known only as TheUglyOne as an homage to Homestar Runner. The Ugly One, or 'Uggs', has pointedly not given his/her gender, sexuality or real age, but general consensus is that the author is female, so, for simplicity's sake, that's how we'll refer to her on this page.

In its most basic sense, this is an OC story, chronicling an original character's stay with the Gorillaz and the events therein, with much emphasis on the amount of UST between band members Murdoc Niccals and Stuart '2D' Pot. Murdoc and his extremely cooperative cyborg companion head out to kidnap one Pretty Rita after hearing her sing on the radio, supposedly as an act of revenge on the drummer who disobeyed Murdoc by side-stepping his orders not to play 'Feel Good Inc' on the radio by playing it in reverse. After a brief altercation at her house with her Lady Drunk of a mother, Rita is transported to Plastic Beach. Hilarity Ensues.

Better Than It Sounds. By a long shot. Take Our Word for It.

Can be found here.

""Considering the fact that [Murdoc] definitely seems to be putting up a front in public appearances and interviews, nobody really knows how he acts when cameras and microphones aren't pointed at him, so honestly, practically any characterization of Muds is fair game.""
 * Abusive Parents: Rose-of-Sharon sells her own daughter to a man who just broke into her house, then cheerfully counts her money as they carry her daughter through the room, bound and sedated.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: Implied to be what Murdoc means by going to his bedroom to "think things over" at the end of Chapter 7.
 * Alternate Character Interpretation: Every canon character that has appeared thus far displays some aspect of this. In the author's own words:

""That'll spawn some killer nightmares.""
 * Ambiguous Gender: The author, though sometimes her speech kind of gives her away as female.
 * Anti-Hero: Pretty Rita
 * Art Major Biology: Pretty Rita embodies this trope — and not in an attractive way, either.
 * Author Appeal: Not directly stated, but given the quite nice descriptions of 2D, it's pretty obvious that Uggs has at least a bit of a fetish for him.
 * Awesome McCoolname: Pretty Rita, even if she doesn't think so.
 * Blinding Bangs: Pretty Rita's bangs cover her eyes in the airplane scene, though that may just be due to position.
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: At the beginning of Chapter Two, the narrator speaks directly to the audience when discussing Pretty Rita's looks. This never happens again.
 * British Accents: 2D, Noodle-Bot, and Murdoc, which plays a role in the plot when 2D tries to tell a pair of fangirls that they're wrong about who he is, but accidentally blows what little cover he had left by revealing his accent (they're in the US at the time)
 * Captain Obvious: 2D, at times.
 * Complete Monster: Rose-of-Sharon
 * Content Warnings
 * Cool Car: Stylo
 * Crack Pairing: Pretty Rita/Noodle-Bot in Chapter 14, unintentionally
 * Crowning Moment of Awesome: The entire fake article that makes up Chapter 11.
 * Crowning Music of Awesome: Manta Ray Gun, which is actually just "The Saltwater Room" by Owl City, but played by Gorillaz. And you can't deny the awesomeness of that.
 * Crowning Moment of Heartwarming: Murdoc reassuring an unconcious Noodle-Bot that he'll fix her up and she'll be fine - especially sweet since it appears that he believes she's the real Noodle.
 * 2D wanting to help Pretty Rita with her drug addiction because Shane Lynch helped him with his
 * Morgan bring Pretty Rita food in her flashback dream in Chapter 10
 * Cute Bruiser: Arguable Noodle-Bot
 * Department of Redundancy Department: "The answer hit him like a ton of bricks, and the weight of it like more bricks."
 * Depraved Bisexual: Murdoc, possibly.
 * Does Not Like Shoes: Pretty Rita is never said to be wearing shoes - whenever her feet are mentioned, they're always bare.
 * 2D is barefoot an awful lot, but this appears to just be in the interest of seductiveness, as his shoes are mentioned multiple times, but whenever he's in Fetish Fuel mode, he's always barefoot.
 * Don't Explain the Joke: Said word-for-word by Murdoc in Chapter 14
 * Dramatic Thunder: 2D walks along the beach, having an inner argument, during a thunderstorm.
 * Dying Town: Possibly Wooder Mills
 * Dysfunction Junction: This story embodies this trope
 * Everyone Is Bi: If the hints of Pretty Rita/Noodle-Bot are anything to go by
 * Fan Sevice: Several involving 2D, possibly the Les Yay in Chapter 14
 * Foe Yay: Murdoc and Pretty Rita, despite being a bit of a Crack Pairing, sometimes come just a little too close to Slap Slap Kiss
 * Funetik Aksent: Subverted. Notable due to the frequency of this trope in Gorillaz fandom.
 * Gentle Giant: Morgan and 2D are both pretty tall, but both of them (well, what's seen of them in Morgan's case) are total sweethearts
 * Going Commando: 2D is suspected of this when no underwear is visible despite him being soaking wet with his jeans clinging to him. This is confirmed when he removes his jeans in the hotel room scene and shows that, nope, he's not wearing anything under them.
 * Immune to Drugs: Pretty Rita - she gets high and it affects her appearance, but she never gets seriously ill despite how much she apparently is taking (although, in this canon, this isn't exactly new)
 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Murdoc. He's a major asshole most of the time, but due to his former habit of making a teenaged Noodle cry, instantly goes into comfort mode whenever young women are upset.
 * Large Ham: Arguably, Rose-of-Sharon
 * Meaningful Name: Pretty Rita. Her name is both a Beatles reference and a jab at her Gonk-ness.
 * Possibly Rose-of-Sharon - pretty name, nasty woman.
 * Mood Swinger: Murdoc and Pretty Rita both have their moments
 * Nightmare Fuel: Pretty Rita's kidnapping is pretty bad if you think too much about it.
 * Noodle-Bot nearly 'dying' - Pretty Rita even lampshades it.


 * Nightmare Retardant: The author states that she meant the Les Yay scene to be creepy, but it ended up too erotic for the Nightmare Fuel to take full effect
 * No Name Given: A strange case with Rose-of-Sharon - her name is put in the "claimer" (as in, the opposite of a dis-claimer), but she's never mentioned by name in-story
 * Noodle People: 2D is really skinny, perhaps even more than in canon.
 * Older Than They Look: 2D, who is way too pretty and young-looking to be 32. Except he is.
 * Real Life Writes the Plot
 * Shaped Like Itself: Once again, the 'bricks' line
 * Shout-Out: Too many to mention. Sort of to be expected in a fic that has NoFourthWall
 * So Beautiful It's a Curse: Well, more like 'So Unique-Looking, It's A Curse': 2D has to wear sunglasses when going out in public or risk getting recognized by fans all over the place, due to having quite unique traits.
 * Suspiciously Specific Denial: "It had nothing to do with him not being here. Nothing at all." ''Riiiiiiight.
 * Tear Jerker: Pretty Rita's kidnapping - it even bothers Murdoc
 * There Are No Therapists: Apparently Wooder Mills has never seen a therapist, social worker, etc.
 * A bit of a Justified Trope, since it doesn't seem like Pretty Rita could afford therapy even if there were therapists around.
 * Ugly Cute: Pretty Rita, though Your Mileage May Vary
 * Vapor Wear: 2D. Murdoc suspects this when 2D gets sopping wet and no underwear lines can be seen, but it's proven in the hotel room scene when 2D kicks off his jeans and there's nothing under them. Fan Service galore.