Medicinal Lullaby/Funny

"Shikamaru: Tell me... what am I doing here again? Chouji: You're reaping what you sowed. You're the one who had to tell her the truth. Shikamaru: Bah. Someone had to do it; I was starting to feel sorry for Naruto... Kiba: You're having sex with Temari, aren't you?" Shikamaru: Wh-what? What the hell Kiba! What gave you that idea? Ino: It's true. Shikamaru: How do you know? Kiba: Ah-hah! So you admit it, criminal! Shikamaru: That's none of your business. Sakura: Ish okay guys. He can baby handles, remember? Sho...so...its okaaaay. Fuck, I need sex."
 * Sakura and the remnants of the Rookie 12 go drinking on Sakura's 17th birthday after she finally finds out it wasn't Sasuke but a disguised Naruto who complimented her back on Team 7's first day. Hilarity Ensues.

"Sakura: And then he leaves in the middle of nowhere! No "bye Sakura" or "Oh I'm leaving for, like, ever, Sakura", just a stupid, stupid note! After not talking to me for two weeks! Who does that? At least Sasuke-kun had the decency to bench me out and put me on a knock. That's a better goodbye than just putting a blanket on me! Gah! I'm going to kill him! Kiba: Yes! Pitchforks and torches! Ino: Group effort!"
 * But wait, there's more!

"Naruto: I shall call you... Stick!"
 * Naruto gets excited about the possibilities of what he was able to accomplish against with a Simple Staff and decides to give his stick a name.

"Killer Bee: Tree-hugger say what now?"
 * There's a very funny artistic tribute to this scene drawn by a fan.
 * Later on, Naruto's relationship with "Stick" borders on Cargo Ship. Several people find it quite weird.

"Clone: You get her. I quit. *POOF*"
 * One of Naruto's shadow clones has to give Hitomi a bath. It doesn't go that well.

"No matter. If Naruto already had his legacy in the making then far be it from him to hold back on his. He could never let Naruto beat him in anything. Now...where was Karin?"
 * The end of chapter 19: Sasuke gets pettily jealous when he finds out Naruto has got a headstart on creating a family over him, as if having a daughter was just another attempt by Naruto to one-up him in their rivalry.

"Hitomi reached out a hand and gingerly touched the feather-soft silk of the short, dark hakama. It was light and flowy...like princess pants! It smelled nice too. These were the pants that belonged to the lap that Hitomi decided to crawl onto. Seconds later she was looking up into Hyuuga Neji's horrified face.
 * The first time Naruto introduces Hitomi to his friends, she's made uncomfortable by all the girls Squeeing over her and crawls under the table to escape. Judging the crowd by their pants and sandals, she decides the girls are too weird and the boys too smelly... until she notices something more appealing:

"You're pwetty," she stated bluntly, liking his clear, pearl eyes and long hair. Neji had to hold back a pout. He was all that was man."

"Naruto: In through the nose, out through the mouth! It will help with the cramping!
 * The Training From Hell Naruto puts his genin team through, especially after he starts out acting like a friendly (if somewhat kooky) sensei. At one point Ringo stumbles back into the central clearing, battered, torn and singed (Naruto wonders if he managed to set himself on fire) and still chased by a wild boar:

Ringo: I hate you already!

A distant feminine-sounding shriek, which could nevertheless have been either Oki or Toshi.

Hitomi: Who're they?

Naruto: My new chew toys."