Schmuck Bait/Quotes

"Make your choice, adventurous stranger Strike the bell and bide the danger Or wonder till it drives you mad What would have happened if you had"

- An inscription on a pedestal with a small bell and hammer on it, from The Magician's Nephew, by C. S. Lewis. You don't want to know what happens if you fall for it.

"Budnick: You can trash whatever you want to trash, destroy whatever you want to destroy and nobody will punish you or bother you you'll have complete freedom. Ellen: Great. Budnick: The only way you will be punished is if you push that little red button over there but you will only be bringing the punishment on yourself. Ellen: Oh yeah, what kind of punishment? Budnick: You'll find out but don't say I didn't warn you."

- Salute Your Shorts

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH", the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

- Thief Of Time, 26th Discworld novel

"I will not include a Self-Destruct Mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such."

- The Evil Overlord List, #9

"Capt. Amazing: Oh looky here, a multi frequency radio detonator. You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence. Casanova Frankenstein: Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool. Capt. Amazing: Yeah? W-What is it? Capt. Amazing: * sniffs* Yuck. Casanova Frankenstein: It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare. Capt. Amazing: * sniffs*  Ah, dang!"
 * puff of smoke goes off in Captain Amazing's face*
 * Captain Amazing nods in confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily*

- Mystery Men

"LOL, dude, I set up this little box on the side of my car and theres a button on it with a sign, "Do not press" and when you press it the car alarm goes off lol nice so I'm gonna count how many people do it in a week brb where u going? car alarm went off"

- qdb.us #230078

"Kids! Color this comic and win! Send your completed entry to your local newspaper c/o "This Letter Is Really A Mailbomb" and win! Be sure to include your return address."

- "Sonichu Is Dead," Chapter 14

"Himeko: ...but why would Dunbadoru-sensei have brought attention to it if he didn't want us going in? Hermione: So that we knew that we weren't to go in it! Himeko: But that just guarantees someone will go in it and find out why it's forbidden the hard way! Hermione: And why do you say that? Himeko: My mom's a book writer, and my dad directs movies. I know the... what's that word again, the stuff that every writer seems to use? Anyway, dad and Aiko'neechan would sit and watch some really bad American horror films and make fun of them at the same time. If you want someone to investigate something, you hide it then call attention to the fact that you're hiding something. Hermione:This isn't a movie or a book, Himeko."

- Ribbon and Stone

"'Do Not Lean Out Of The Window.' Wonder why..."

- Vivian, The Young Ones

"Ren: See this button? DON'T TOUCH IT! IT'S THE HISTORY ERASER BUTTON YOU FOOL! Stimpy: So, what'll happen? Ren: That's just it - we don't know! Maybe something good. Maybe something bad."

- Ren and Stimpy