Homestuck/WMG/Confirmed

The ancient frog temple where WV landed is gardenGnostic's home.
Each of the main characters has a different setting for their home, or current position. John lives in an average neighborhood, Rose lives somewhere in a forest, Dave lives in an apartment, the Wayward Vagabond was in the underground bunker for most of the time we've seen him, and the Peregrine Mendicant is in a desert. Sure, PM isn't a main character, but he/she probably will be some acts in the future (but not many). Anyway, the frog temple is not in something similar to any of those places, aside from Rose's, but the forests are vastly different.
 * Further proof. The pumpkin that WV appearified earlier on has the same design as the one we see in (what is very presumably) GG's room in the first Psyche! The spacial co-ordinates of said appearification are nearly exactly the same as the one for the Frog Temple, as seen here and here. Also note that the Sburbian bunker flew there when WV pressed HOME. So it's likely that either the Frog-Temple people, or GG (if they are even separate people!) are responsible for SBURB.
 * A slight difference in co-ordinates, and the chasm where the volcano was, indicates that GG's home isn't the temple - it's the volcano itself.
 * ...Or its foothills, anyway (something which, looking at the meteor crater, should've been obvious - it would've hit a little south of the volcano).

Jade's Strife will be with Bec, not Grandfather.
Grandfather simply does not fit the patterns established by the previous Guardians. Dad, Mom, and Bro all have three-letter names, one facial feature, and a poor relationship with their charges. Grandfather has eleven letters and, from the photo in the lid of Jade's Gadget Chest, looks an awful lot like a male Nanna (with features suspiciously similar to John's, but that's a story for another WMG.) and seems to genuinely command Jade's respect. Bec, on the other hand, has three letters, seems to be somewhat ferocious in nature, and, while only seen in silhouette, has recognizable ears, and ears only. From this, I posit that Jade will engage in STRIFE with Bec when feeding him, and Grandfather will take the role of a badass mentor figure, similar to Nanna
 * I was thinking something like this earlier. The guardians are all initially seen in silhouette, and yet we've seen what looks an awful lot like a picture of Jade's grandfather in the lid of her chest, unsilhouetted... Bec, by contrast, has so far been seen only in silhouette (including within the very photograph I just mentioned). There's also the fact that, unless we switch back to Dave soon, Jade will be meeting her grandfather and getting her Strife music before Dave meets Bro and gets his Strife music, which would be awkward. Therefore, I endorse this theory.
 * Word of God has confirmed that Bec is Jade's Guardian, not Grandfather.
 * And confirmed in-story here.

The black and white armies are anthropomorphic chess pieces.
PM may be a Knight, although her close resemblance to WV makes me think she's another pawn. Higher-tier pieces are probably more distinctive.
 * PM has been shown to possess a (black?) sword bearing distinctly chess-like motifs...
 * Jack seems to have a bald head as well and he is not a pawn (I guess).
 * Jack could be a bishop, given his head is more pointy than WV's.

The Wayward Vagabond and the Peregrine Mendicant are from the kingdoms of Darkness and Light respectively, or at least from species originating from those kingdoms.
I noticed that the WV shares a strange resemblance with Jack (plus the mention of a carapace for each of them) besides the clothing, and the PM is similar except for the white skin, or whatever the hell it is. We haven't seen creatures from the kingdom of light yet, it's more than possible that they're opposites in colour, hell, it would make sense.
 * Confirmed. The Aimless Renegade and the Windswept Questant also come from Derse and Prospit, respectively.

Rose's prepunched card.
The walkthroughs Rose has read indicate that all the prepunched cards display something different. John's prepunched card created a tree, which dropped an apple, the biting of which transported John's house to the Medium. Over the next 413 years, as shown at the end of Act 2, an enormous tree grew from the point where John's house was hit by the meteor, and dropped a spherical Sburb-branded capsule. The Wayward Vagabond's Sburb-branded capsule is situated in the center of the area where Rose's house was; it follows that WV's capsule's shape and origin are linked to the contents of her prepunched card.

WV's Sburb capsule is cylindrical and has a small entrance in the roof. I propose that Rose's prepunched card depicts a can, and to access the Medium she will need to open it with a can opener.
 * Or, it could just be the bunker that we saw  open during the Act 2 finale.
 * If it is derived from a can, and the above parallels theory is correct, then logically there might be two other capsules for Dave and Jade.
 * If you check the end of act 3, it's shown that Rose's equivalent of the Cruxite Apple is a bottle from a cabinet, which she had to break.

"Snowman" is female and Spades Slick's love interest
Her name is written "SOW", which singles out the W part for "Woman". Additionally, She'S NO MAN.
 * Surprisingly, partially confirmed. It remains to be seen if Slick has the hots for her, though.
 * And now fully confirmed, if you accept (as Trolls do) that Kismesis is a type of romance.
 * And now sloppy makeouts ensue while Doc Scratch rages.

The DNA sequence that Rose destroyed and Dave preserved is the coding to create Bec.
Really, the WMG says it all.
 * Seconded. Further, someone (likely John, unless somebody else takes the helm) is going to send everyone back in time to the appropriate point in history. Further, the big bads getting their hands on Bec's DNA will result in King Queen Jackspers Noirlecrow further boosting himself with Bec's space-warping abilities.
 * Slight alteration from the original WMG'er: the coding is how to create an ominpo-* insert species here* . Now, recall that appearifier, and the loyal dog that the young Grandpa Harley and Nanna had... Appearify the dog, plug that DNA into proto-Bec, and warp him back in time with the rest of the Frog Temple, and the Stable Time Loop is complete! This would also mean that Bec protects Jade because he was once her Guardian's own pet... wonder how he'd react to John? And why do the gods of Derse's sky want that DNA to remain unrevealed?
 * Confirmed as of the "real" 4/13 update.

Snowman is the EXALTED RULER of the Dark Kingdom
Snowman has the same eyes and caprice hand as the EXALTED RULER. Not to mention the seething hatred/annoyance Spades Slick/Jack Noir has for her.
 * Given that the Intermission is a MSPA story in Homestuck and vice versa it's more likely just the Homestuck Universes' versions of the characters.
 * In the recap it is confirmed that she was the Exalted Ruler of the Trolls Dark Kingdom, and Spades Slick was its Archagent. Of course, the Kids' storyline has since taken a very different track...

The second-largest and largest meteors are headed for Dave and Jade's houses respectively
The two massive meteors that Rose saw on the Skaianet session terminal are centered over a U.S. city and the Pacific Ocean. Like the large meteor that leveled John's neighborhood and the even larger meteor headed for Rose's house, these meteors will strike Dave's city and Jade's island. A problem with this theory is that 413 years in the future, the Frog Temple on Jade's island is still standing, which either means the meteor still hasn't hit earth and will completely obliterate the planet, or that the Frog Temple was able to withstand the blast of a meteor the size of Australia.
 * The terminal seems to show blast radius, not meteor size. But the Frog Temple still needs some epic defenses... given that it's millions of years old and hasn't collapsed, though, it probably does.
 * When you translate the coordinates of Jade's house, where do you place it? Off the southeast coast of Australia! And Dave clearly lives in a hot place.

Dave and Rose are connected to the Dark Kingdom
Dream Jade lives in a tower on the moon of the Light Kingdom of Prospit along with Dream John. Thus, there must clearly be a Dream Rose and Dream Dave that reside on the moon of the Dark Kingdom (as Wayward Vagabond has drawn both planets with a moon). Thus, Rose will be fighting enemies that come from the Light Kingdom rather than the Imps John fights.
 * Half right: While Dave and Rose are connected to Derse, they still fight imps, just like the heroes of Light do.

Rose Gamefaq's page "helps" the Trolls
Rose says in her walkthrough that the Gods may give it to a past or future species. It gets sent to the Troll's, who use it. However, Rose's information causes them to mess up eventually, which is how the Kid's messed up the Troll's session.
 * Confirmed, partly, in the latest update. Kanaya has managed to access the walkthrough, and has recieved knowledge of what's about to happen to her and the other trolls.

Bec will be prototyped with Jade's Kernelsprite
And thus Jack having DD create Bec will have all been so that Jack himself can be prototyped with Bec's powers.
 * Further support: The trolls say that what goes wrong with the kids session is Jack Noir. Currently Jack is as strong as one of the queens or kings. He has only gotten this far by using a Dues Ex Mchina on one, Getting someone to force two of them to step down, and surprising the last one and robbing him of his powers before the fight.

Likewise, Bro seems able to go toe to toe with him without much trouble, so it doesn't make much sense that Jack Noir would cause the kids to lose, let alone be able to affect completely different sessions (as the trolls seem to imply happened to theirs in one of the more recent updates)

Now, if he had the powers to alter reality at his every whim, then yeah, he MIGHT be a problem.
 * Confirmed

The dream-selves of the Kids are the ones writing on the walls of their rooms.
First, we have John discovering that there is writing on the walls of his bedroom defacing his posters, yet he can't see it. Then Jade's dream-self finds "John" asleep in his room with the writing again present. Then we have the Jaspersprite mention to Rose about "waking up", leading her to have a discussion with Jade about dream-selves, at which point Jade mentions to Rose that she also has strange writing on her walls. So where is all of this coming from?

Quite simply, the dream-selves are the subconsciouses of The Kids, who see past the nonsense The Kids display to others to compensate for their family issues. Because they refuse to let their dream-selves "wake up", the dream-selves have been writing insulting messages on their bedroom walls. The Kids themselves never realize they're there, but everyone else can see them. John could see the writing because his perception of his father changed, even if his dream-self hasn't woken up yet. Rose, it can only be safe to assume, will be able to see the writing on her walls once her perception of her mother changes. It only remains to be seen how long it takes Jade to tell Dave about his writing.
 * Addendum: there is no writing on Dave's walls because his dream-self is already awake; his chat with Rose in the Bad Future confirms this, even if Present!Dave doesn't know it yet.
 * Confirmed by the recap. Good call! Although 90% of calling it is influencing it in disguise.

The contents of Jade's present to John is...

 * The Bunny. The same Bunny that Dave and Rose gave to John for his birthday, only upgraded with some unknown form of improvements to make it into the ULTIMATE BUNNY. This would make it the most powerful weapon usable with the Bunnykind Specibus, which was How Jack Noir was able to use it to fell the Black Queen. John is also going to end up using Bunnykind during the endgame.
 * Confirmed in the Act 4 "ending" (why else would he hold it hostage?) :P
 * Confirmed explicitly in the Act 4 epilogue.

Every single Sburb-sessioned planet has a Frog Temple.
As another troper noted, the Temple seems to reflect what's happening in the Sburb session: Prospit's Moon is destroyed, and the Temple reflects that damage. Now, as Jack continues his rampage, it's likely that the Temple reflects (preflects?) what will happen. And the last meteor is aimed for the Temple's location. Therefore, when this game is done, the Medium and everything in it will be destroyed as well. There is nothing that can be done. Evil wins. At the cost of everything, including itself.
 * But isn't that very same weathered Frog Temple still standing 413 years in the future? Could this possibly mean something more for the story as a whole? Perhaps despite the fact that all signs seem to be pointing to a Downer Ending, somehow the Incipisphere and the Medium will survive and the Kids will make it through.
 * Confirmed: paradox-clones of frogs are bred to form the frog-god which becomes the new universe created by successful sessions.

Like the Salamanders on the Land of Wind and Shade, each of the kid's planets will have a "civilian" creature.
gallowsCalibrator talked to Dave about "friendly crocodiles" on his planet, the Land of Heat and Clockwork. These crocodiles are the equivalent of John's salamanders. Likewise, Jade and Rose will have their own friendly critters as well.

Jade will prototype with her Dream Self and Bec
Bec will do so in order to further power up Jack Noir, on who's orders he was created. And Jade fits the required Dead thing part.
 * We now know that Dream Jade's body is stored in her Grandpa's lab (along with Halley/Harley, and Jack Noir's fourth wall). It wouldn't surprise me too much if she has to explore the lab sooner rather than later...
 * Now confirmed!

Jade's kernelsprite will be prototyped using her dream self's taxidermied body.
...pretty much in the same way as Nanna's ashes brought her back from the dead.
 * Confirmed!

Jade's kernelsprite will be prototyped using her dream self and Halley's taxidermied body.
I mean, why the hell not? It'd be pretty damn awesome.
 * Confirmed. Sort of.

Jade will end up prototyping her kernelsprite with her dream self, which will allow her to both dream again and use a prototype ring.
Because I couldn't have been the only one who actually liked the idea of a prototyped kid putting the smackdown on Jack.
 * The first part is confirmed, although Jade still can't use the prototype ring (it doesn't affect humans that way), and it remains to be seen if she can dream. It's unlikely though.

The Squiddles are somehow related to the Gods of the Furthest Ring.
Davesprite notes that the Gods of the Furthest Ring freak him out, especially the ones that sing. Now what are lyrics to the Squiddles' own theme song? Everyone siiing! If we do see these gods, expect some of them to either have giant Squiddle toys, or to be "Tangle Buddies!" with each other.
 * Word of God weighs in.

Aradia's Strife Specibus will be (or was) Whipkind.
Seems pretty obvious enough, what with it lying on her floor and the connections to Indiana Jones.
 * c0nfirmed

The Squiddles are a front for something sinister.
If you've listened to the entire Squiddles album, this is very plausible. This may or may not have something to do with the main storyline.
 * The end of the final track (Let the Squiddles Sleep) as well as the theme's odd insistence that people not stay up late seems to suggest that something creepy goes down at night...
 * Pretty much confirmed.

All the troll kids are clones of themselves.
It just won't work any other way. They're not related to any other trolls, they're just straight-up stand-alone paradox clones of themselves, just like Nanna Egbert, Grampa Harley, Rose's Mom, and Dave's Bro. We've seen nothing their DNA could splice from, so there's really no other option.
 * Confrimed (somewhere): Karkat created all of their paradox-clones, like John did for the human kids.
 * Or maybe not, with the ancestors...

Gamzee is going to flip the fuck out.
At some point Gamzee is going to realize that Eridan is probably the one responsible for his Lusi's death. He will respond by freaking out and attacking him. Because what would be cooler than Gamzee of all people going on a rampage?
 * He did flip the fuck out. Who knows if it's because of Eridan, though.
 * Boy does he ever flip the fuck out. All that slime pie he was eating seems to be the only thing keeping him sane.

Squiddles are Elder Gods and Skipper Plumbthroat is Lord English.
This is why the Elder Gods told Rose to destroy the MEOW code, because then the lieutenants of Lord English can't summon him to cull the Elder Gods. It also would explain the Magic Girls as being the conduits for the Squiddles.
 * The former is pretty much confirmed.

What did Karkat see when he went to sleep after his dream self died?
SQUIDDLES!!!
 * I'm not even joking, kind of. Feferi says "They are not as terrible as they look" (in her conversation with Karkat in Alterniabound), and she'd obviously be the most pro-squiddle troll.
 * "[S Jade: Wake up."] Ho-lee Shit. It, um... turns out you're partially right. I think if I were Karkat, I'd warn everyone else not to go to sleep, too.

Bro is going to die
Jade is getting ready to enter the Medium. Jack is challenging Bro to a rematch since the last fight was inconclusive. Once Jade enters the medium, Jack gets the benefit of the pre-entry prototyping, which, according to the Troll's session, cannot be avoided. Once this happens, Jack will easily overpower Bro and kill him. Notably, while Terezi states that Dave and Bro won't meet again before the rift, nobody's demonstrated any ability to see what happens in a person's timeline once the scratch messes it up, so there's nothing to say they'll meet after it, either.
 * BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

At least one kid will get killed and revived with a dreamself over the course of the story.
One of the purposes of showing us the trolls' session is to demonstrate the mechanics of a game session that isn't completely borked. There's sure to be a reason why they demonstrated the use of a dream self as an "extra life" in that arc.
 * Combined with the above WMG, it's more likely to happen to Rose, since it would spoil the original plan (it hinges on using the dreamself to destroy the green sun).
 * That would explain why she ceases to be featured on Trollian's timeline - Trollian can only be used to spy on and communicate with the actual players, not their dreamselves.
 * It doesn't explain why Karkat could see Sollux after his death.
 * Karkat wasn't using Trollian's viewport. He could see Sollux in his hive because he was his server..
 * John's physical self is now dead, so this is more or less confirmed.

Sooner or later, Tavros will snap.
He can't possibly keep being nice, with everything he's been through. When it all gets to him, odds are high someone will get hurt.
 * It happened.

When Jade prototypes her kernelsprite, it will change Skaia's form...
Again, that is. As we saw from this animation, Skaia starts as a stalemate between two kings on a 3x3 game board. With the first prototyping, it becomes a chess-like game board. With the second, it turns into a cube-shaped realm, and with the third, a spherical planet. Going by the increasing complexity, it is likely that the final version will have floating islands surrounding a central spherical core.
 * On a technicality, it's just the introduction of a "new" player to the medium that transforms the Battlefield, when the Kernel part of the Kernelsprite hatches.
 * [[http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101210120954/mspaintadventures/images/f/f8/Skaian_Battlefield_

The kids and Bec are all from the Medium.
The meteors are how they were transported to Earth; destructive, but effective. Launch your ship at Skaia, "attempting to destroy it", and get sent to the "real" world. If Earth is more real than Skaia. Possibly less. It's hard to tell. And since time is different in the Medium, they can go back into the past to make that Stable Time Loop.
 * Confirmed.

We haven't seen aT below the waist yet because he's in a wheelchair.
That's why his dreamself was so important to him.
 * Half confirmed as of Act 5, he used to be in a wheelchair because . Later (chronologically), he got robotic legs.

Team Blue and Team Red will end up being the same team in the end.
A chain of predestined coincidences will force the last player of team blue to connect to first player of team red and vice versa.
 * Confirmed. Except maybe for certain individuals who fight each other anyway.

There is only ever one SBURB/SGRUB session per planet.
Speculation on the MSPA wiki suggests that Sollux's attempt to double-session the game doesn't work -- if the Alternian Frog Temples' arrangements and the fact that the trolls all prototyped their kernelsprites only once pre-Medium and still faced a twelve-times-prototyped Black King are any indication, Skaia does not appreciate people actively attempting to game the system.

The only wrinkle is Rose's mention of meteor impacts on the sites of other Sburb sessions, but, it's possible they just got out before the meteor hit -- after all, the meteors were smaller...
 * Actually, you aren't far off from the truth.

Purple blood is the highest class, belonging to royalty.
From what we've seen of the two purple-blooded trolls, they have a lot of jewelry. Also, purple is associated with royalty, so it would make sense.
 * Seems to be accurate: Blue-blooded Equius defers to Purple-blooded Gamzee.
 * Confirmed. Feferi, who has the highest blood color, is the Heir Apparent to the title of Empress.

While not a royal, Karkat's blood color is special in some way.
The troll's blood caste system is based on the visible light spectrum, where Blue/Violet has the highest amount of energy and Red has the lowest. Consider that White is all the colors in the spectrum mixed together and Black is the absence of color. Since Gray is a mixture of both, this could mean Karkat's blood type may actually be more important than he and the rest of Alternia believes. The fact that he's the Knight of Blood in The Medium lends a bit of credence to the theory.
 * Confirmed. But special in a bad way.

Vriska's present to Aradia is a dreambot, like Jade's.
As a sprite, she can't pass through gates. Aradia needs a body to finish the game. Vriska and Equius are friends and neighbours, and Jade's dreambot looks an awful lot like the robots Equius builds; Vriska could have gotten it from him and wants to give it to Aradia for... some reason.
 * Confirmed! Except that it's a soulbot instead.

Karkat started trolling John assuming that he'd be his kismesis.
We know that he's frustrated because "E" but now here, at last is someone truly worthy of his finely honed hatred. Someone who's a member of the group that doomed him and his friends. Someone who, if speculation about the trolls assuming that the kids also use their text color to show their blood color is right, he views as a member of the loathed aristocracy. Someone who's the as-close-to-equal-as-a-human-can-get and opposite member among the humans, as the leader of the group and the one who did all the paradox cloning. At last, a kismesis!
 * Sorta confirmed. Karkat denies it out loud but is obviously disappointed to find John is friendly toward him.

And then John went and ruined all his hate-wooing by being all immediately friendly (from Karkat's point of view), and too much of the weird human emotion called friendship had rubbed off on Karkat for a decent blackrom to still be possible by the time he reached the point in the past where John's reactions were anything like what he was originally looking for. Kismesissitude eludes him once again.
 * Confirmed, at least partially.

Cal was used to make Doc Scratch, like Halley was used to make Bec
As a First Guardian, we already know that there are some time travel shenanigans involved in his creation, and there's no indication that he has any troll DNA in him. While Cal, being a puppet, may not have any DNA, it's entirely reasonable a paradox clone could take care of that problem. However, the most telling detail may be that Cal's 'skin' is clearly made of some sort of fabric, most likely FELT.
 * Confirmed.

Jade is going to die, and her death will drive Bec Noir completely batshit.

 * It'll drive him to destroy everything, going so far as invading another session to continue his spree. He's grieving, and can't stand or understand this pain he's feeling.
 * Confirmed, sort of. It does drive him to kill CD, but he probably would have gone on to escape to the other session and wreck everything anyway.

What Trumps an Ace?
Remember when Karkat is talking about how Jack Noir became something greater than a king and a queen, and John replies "Like an Ace?" In cards, there are three card types that depending on the game you're playing can trump a king. The most common is the Ace.

The other two card types can also trump an Ace (once again depending on the game). These are the Wild Cards which are something that can match or trump any card in the deck. They are: The Joker: Usually, these are tossed out of the deck and ignored as goofy placeholders, but whenever they are included they turn out to be the best card. There are also only two Jokers in a deck whereas every other card has 3 other suites. Jokers also lack a suite. Notice that Gamzee, a clown, is capable of dealing the most damage to the Black King. Notice how he claims to have two personalities, two Jokers. The Deuce: Typically, the Deuce (or 2 card) is the weakest card in a suite. But sometimes the rules of the game makes the Deuce into a Wildcard.

My theory here is that either Gamzee will ultimately take down Noir or Clubs Deuce will somehow accidentally cause Noir's fall. Either way it makes sense for Noir to be weaken or defeated by the roles and rules of cards.
 * Confirmed if you look at it in a certain way; CD? ends up driving Jack insane because he kills Jade, which leads to Jack getting confronted by PM.

The "unwanted yellow lawn ring" is the yard stick.
Lawn ring means a yard. And it's yellow. Yellow yard stick.

Alpha Dave will end up dying at some point.
Dave and Terezi have an important discussion centered around Dave's uneasiness about his own mortality and unwillingness to face it. While it could merely be an explanation as to why Dave currently won't reach God Tier, it could also be foreshadowing to an event where Dave is finally forced to face death as a means of saving his friends.
 * Confirmed.

The needles from the bunny

 * Confrimed

The time between John's death and Future Dave time-travelling was four months and thirteen days.

 * As far as this troper is aware Andrew's gone "Sure Why Not" on this

Sburb really does cause the Endofthe World As We Know It.
If what CG says on this page the Dark Kingdom will win and start sending meteors at Skaia. In response, Skaia will start producing portals to send the meteors elsewhere. If that elsewhere is another planet, that planet is probably doomed... sound familiar? Now, remember that the reason the Dark Kingdom wins is because the protagonists entered the medium with a prototyped kernel. Which came about because they were playing the beta.
 * If the basis of this theory is "the meteors are the same ones that struck the earth", and everything else is a logical deduction from there, then confirmed in its essentials when John got into his ectobiology shenanigans. Overall, however, Earth's destruction was pretty much always inevitable; Sburb is ultimately unimportant.

Hussie is more than the Author.
At this point in time, we the player/reader have interacted with the characters in Homestuck. Andrew Hussie has similarly interacted with characters in a way different from us. He stole Jack Noir's fourth wall. Or perhaps we stole it. Either way, that we both have access to the fourth wall of a cubicle used by the agents on Derse, and that Hussie was using a captchalogue card to draw implies that he is something other than the author of this story.
 * Maybe he really does "conjure" the story...
 * He'll have the impact of 1 yard and that's it.

Future Dave could fly.
We recently learned that the gates above the kids' houses lead to elsewhere in the Lands and then higher above the house of the next kid in a round-robin style. Davesprite explained that in order to avoid falling to your death, the kids need to work together to build up their houses to avoid dying when they go through the gates. Future Dave managed to make it to gate 5 without the help of John (who was dead) or Jade (who was unable to enter the Medium due to John's death.) In order to avoid falling to a horrible death when he progressed through the gates, he must've had an item that allowed him to fly or featherfall. Presumably an item that he handed over to Present Dave before becoming the Davesprite.
 * He must have caught some UNREAL AIR. Or Bro's rocket board.

The ring that the Black Queen wore (and Jack Noir later put on) has something to do with KernelSprites.
When you don the ring, certain features appear. You gain a scar on your eye, which is from John's Nanna sprite. You gain tentacles, which is from Rose's Jaspers Sprite. You somehow grow a sword lodged in your stomach, which is from Dave's CalSprite/CrowSprite/DaveSprite. Jade's sprite hasn't been done as of this writing. What they have to do with the KernelSprites is still unknown, but the similarities are undeniable.
 * Confirmed

Dave is/was a textbook case for Social Services, and suffering badly from Stockholm Syndrome.
So, Bro keeps hardly any food in the house, and abuses Dave both psychologically and physically (puppets, swordfights, hell even pushing him down the stairs). You'd think Social Services would have stepped in by now. Maybe they've tried to, but Dave insists that everything's fine because he still thinks of Bro as this super-cool guy and can't admit the truth.
 * Dave himself agrees.

Failing to prototype a kernelsprite either won't work or is a very bad idea.
After someone suggests dropping the Idiot Ball, someone else will point out that it will make things worse.
 * Confirmed. It is stated several times that failing to prototype a kernelsprite before entering the Medium makes the game Unwinnable.

John is going to send every meteor that's dropped off something plot-related, including the Frog Temple.
So much to WMG, so little time.
 * Technically confirmed. John doesn't send the meteors, only puts stuff on them. Jack Noir sends them.

Rose's Gamefaqs page is key to everything.
She explains everything they have gone though up until the end of Act 4 before sending it out into the cosmos in hopes that it will help another group of players save themselves from Skaia. It does find its way to another group eventually, in the distant future, who use it to their advantage and become the only players to ever beat the game. This was not meant to happen, so Skaia begins pulling out all stops to get rid of them, which includes rigging another session with a certain Game Breaking Bug to rip open spacetime and eradicate the players from both sessions. The first group, angry that they're going to die even though they won because some dumbfucks gave Jack an advantage he was never supposed to have, troll John and co. for lack of anything better to do while they wait for imminent death. The trolls end up helping them through, as Rose inadvertently did for them, and giving them the advantage they need to beat their messed up session.

Then they meet up and have a we're-not-going-to-die party and fistbump each other like old pals.
 * First paragraph confirmed, aside from the fact that the trolls played in the past.

Rose's MEOW journal contains the genome of one of her Elder God friends.
That makes Bec half-Lovecraftian Horror.
 * Close, but not quite. It contains the genome of Lord English, a time-glitching, all-consuming demon that even the Elder Gods seem to fear.
 * Not quite again; it contains a special DNA code that empowers things with near godlike powers over space by making them First Guardians. The mechanic of the code being implanted is as of yet unknown.

Jack didn't know of the bunny's power
He simply used the Royal Deringer to blend the Black Queen, and was probably higher on the Echeladder (since he actually does some work). The bunny probably stayed inert at the time.
 * Andrew confirmed this.

twinArmageddons' real name is Castor Pollux.
Think about it. Not only does it fit the naming scheme from the trolls so far (two names with six letters each), but it also references the original Gemini---Castor and Polydeuces/Pollux.
 * And it was mostly confirmed. Hussie ended up playing some mad wordplay to make it sound more like a troll name than some mere construct.
 * It was a fan, but yes.

arachnidsGrip is going to get a very nasty surprise when she gets to the Land of Quartz and Melody.
Unbeknownst to her, she has to come to Aradia in person in order to deliver her gift. She's probably responsible for Aradia's death. Bad things happen when you visit the ghost of someone you killed. And if they do, there will be much rejoicing.
 * Inverted. The bad things happen in the land of maps and treasure, Vriskas Land.

The present that cannot be duplicated via alchemy at the start of Aradia's game is her self.
Think about it, the sprite can only continue on with the player at a certain stage of the game, which is past a certain gate. She's the player and a sprite, but she's still a sprite. The "present" that she'll get is a new body and spirit that can function as the "player" unit required for Sgrub.
 * Confirmed! Robot body.

Vriska and Snowman are somehow related.
Both share the common number 8, both are huge bitches, and both had something to do with an arm and an eye (Vriska lost hers some time ago, Snowman destroyed Spades Slick's during the Intermission). Furthermore, Vriska has broken Magic 8-Balls lying around, while Snowman's position in the Felt represents the 8 ball in billiards. Their only difference seems to be their relation to death: Vriska has been desensitized to it, since she presumably fed so many unlucky trolls to her lusus, while Snowman's death will end the universe. This hardly seems to be coincidence.
 * It could be that Vriska just influenced the Black Queen sometime during their game.
 * Snowman controls Vriska as an exile.

Vriska turns out to have incredibly sad past
Then she does something to even more horrible than what she has done to prove that her past means nothing.
 * Yeah this is confusing. Hard to call though.

Several of the trolls will die before the Hivebent storyline catches up to the very first page of Homestuck.
It seems plausible that the Trolls will resort to helping the kids on Earth with their session after disaster strikes in theirs, and several trolls have alluded to their deaths because of Sgrub.
 * Not unless it happened some time after winning. You need all the players alive to win. And we know that Gamzee, Karkat, Terezi, Kanaya, Sollux, Tavros, Vriska, Feferi, Equius, and Aradia at least make it to the Veil.
 * Confirmed later though, as about half the trolls are dead.

The Paradox Babies will end up as another group.
Let's see, we have the Kids, Guardians, Sprites, Trolls, Exiles, Dream Versions,... so why the hell not have another group?
 * Well, the paradox babies kind of 🇦🇪 the kids. So they don't actually end up as another group, but the same one all along.

Becquerel is Earth's Guardian.
For obvious reasons.
 * To make it more intriguing: perhaps he was supposed to be a simple First Guardian. But it's possible that our universe's indestructible demon didn't anticipate the First Guardian genetic sequence becoming intertwined with a simple, friendly dog...
 * Confirmed on both counts.

As he is not the cueball, Lord English will be an abomination with cuesticks growing out of him
It's the next logical step up.
 * Confirmed-ish

In yet another time loop, the reason the Kids' game goes so wrong and screws up the Trolls' games, leading to them trolling them, is because the Trolls trolled them after their game went wrong.
The curse on Karkat spreads to everyone he ever meets. The two kids he's trolled are Jade and John, the same to who are the reason the Final Bunny was there for Jack to use. Immediately after the first (chronologically, on Jade's end) conversation we get to see between them the completed Final Bunny appears next to Jade in time to be sent out so it will reach John's on his birthday, which let it fall into Jack's hand. And even if Karkat has never met either of them in person, it's obvious in Homestuck that internet-based relationships are as important as face-to-face ones.
 * Confirmed.

Ironically, the only way the trolls could have changed the way things turned out would have been to avoid the kids completely. The minute they started trolling the curse spread and guaranteed the the kids' game would go pear-shaped. Though it's possible that the curse effects humans less strongly than trolls (or that only knowing them through the internet did weaken it) since their guardians are just out of touch and not dead.

Vriska will send the captcha code for the ROCKET BOOTS to Tavros and he will alchemize them with his chair, a shoutout to his theme song.
Confirmed, as it was pretty obvious. It was a rocket car though.

The Troll's prior interactions with the Kids was colored by the assumption that their Pesterchum themes were indicative of blood color.
This would explain why:
 * Karkat began directing his ire at the "blue-blooded" John. Also, since blue blood in Trolls tends to come with a bad case of Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, Terezi would assume that the fiasco the Kid's session turned into was a result of his malice.
 * The trolls who approached (the purple) Rose tended to do so with some degree of respect, while those who trolled (red) Dave simply attempted to hassle him.
 * Interestingly too, I don't believe anything has happened to refute the Troll's impression: the only blood they have seen is Dave's, and he uses red text 'anyways.' I'm not sure how much of the blood-politics were planned out before Act 5, but now that the concept has been introduced I think we can expect it to come up once the focus returns to the "present."
 * The "Dave's blood" bit doesn't work. Human blood is a color that no trolls have, except Karkat.
 * Humans are aliens in the Trolls eyes. Seeing a human having red blood is like a human seeing an alien having green blood: unfarmiliar, but not surprising.
 * Andrew has already said that the trolls who actually care about blood color will fudge details like that for the sake of pigeonholing people into their pre-defined categories. And anyway, the point was that the trolls have seen no evidence yet to contradict the notion that a human's text color matches their blood color.
 * More or less makes sense.

Troll cosplaying will become a real-life fad very soon.
Andrew is practically begging this to happen, what with the jutapoxition of the Author Avator's troll-cosplay and the announced sale of replicas of the trolls' shirts.
 * Cosplaying as the Trolls has already become fairly popular. The Author Avatar joining in on the fun is more of a Shout Out to all of it popping up around various conventions lately.

Sollux has two of everything.
Or at least, everything he has is bifurcated. In effect, he has two lives.
 * Confirmed. He has two dream selves, effectively giving him two lives after his "real" self dies.
 * Is there anything else he has two of?
 * Yes he does. According to Rule 34 anyway.

The Vriska we saw after the Black King battle...
...is actually Vriska's dreamself. The 'real' Vriska is dead, because of what Aradia did. Proof of this is that Vriska has her vision eightfold back when they are all standing round the door.
 * Confirmed with a closer look. Aradia DID kill her, which woke up her dream self, and at the end of that flash we got a glimpse of her 7-pupil eye. Now we've gotten a closer look. And apparently she went back to LOMAT to get her old jacket with the torn left arm off her own corpse... which she has presumably been wearing ever since her arm was blown off. Creepy.

After Vriska/Kanaya goes flushed, Karkat will take Vriska's place as Kanaya's moirail.
See their conversation here.
 * Alternately, Karkat has been acting as Vriska and Tavros's aupsitice this whole time.
 * Confirmed. Although Vriska/Kanaya didn't pan out.

John will learn to fly.
How? He is the Heir of Breath, it only makes sense. Like with Dave and his Time-based powers that come from things he has made, John will make some item that will give him flight without needing to use his rocket pack. The item(s) will be the blue outfit he will make.
 * Confirmed, though not the way suggested.

The kids attempt to use the Green Sun to defeat Sovereign Slayer is what creates Lord English.
SS ends up absorbing the Green Sun (or (some of?) it's powers). The kids then manage to thow him through a scratch into timeless space, another universe, or something while he's still confused. He is then immediately summoned into the troll's game. The reason the First Guardians are loyal to him is that he has the powers of the Green Sun, which is what runs the multiverse.
 * Arguably confirmed, but in a completely different way. The trolls' universe's destruction, which is what summons Lord English, is part of what powers the Tumor.

Fully-prototyped Jack is not Lord English.
While this would be the first impression of many people, we have seen no definite proof. Sure, he broke the Trolls' door and destroyed Troll Prospit, but there's no actual confirmation that Lord English did those things - just because the characters believe it was him doesn't mean it was actually him.
 * Hussie has deliberately never said that the demon in the trolls' session is Lord English. The Formspring (along with the knowledge that Lord English's eyes are constantly-changing pool balls) clears this up handily.
 * This is confirmed. English has not even made himself known to the protagonists

Jack is going to kill someone else before going to the Troll session.
At first it was thought that the blood in his hand was from Bro. But then it was shown that upon leaving the scene, his hand was not yet bloody. Ergo, he is not through his slaughter yet, and the only question is, who will die next?
 * We know it can't be any of the trolls...with the exception of Karkat.
 * Karkat was obviously alive when Jack entered the troll session... Barring Timey Wimey antics.
 * There are only a few options; Jade or WV seems to be the most popular.
 * Confirmed that the blood on his hand is from WV.

Rose's plan will be a victim of Unspoken Plan Guarantee - which is probably just as well.
Rose's plan to blow up the Green Sun in an Heroic Sacrifice won't go the way she says it's going to go, for a few reasons: one, because she's just outlined the plan to Dave, and Unspoken Plan Guarantee; two, because as one of the four main characters in what is ultimately a comic coming-of-age story, Rose's heroic sacrifice permadeath is unlikely; three, because someone (John, Dave, Jade, Kanaya, Mom?) is going to stop her or save her or take the hit for her or just plain mess things up for her somehow; four, the kids will still have to do the Scratch, suggesting this doesn't work out. The good news, of course, being that Rose's survival chances increase by a lot.
 * Who's to say blowing up the Green Sun won't cause The Scratch? As supported by this post. Meaningless Suicide? The Death of Rose's Dreamself. Open a rift? That would be The Scratch. Karkat just thinks the rift was intentional.
 * The scratch most likely won't be a result of Rose's plan, just from how the trolls are talking. Causing the scratch is something they're going to do intentionally, for some reason, not as a result of doing something else.
 * Confirmed to an extent that Rose is having a lot of unanticipated problems, but so far the plan is going okay.
 * And now confirmed in full. Green Sun created, Rose and Dave god-tiered.
 * And now confirmed in full. Green Sun created, Rose and Dave god-tiered.

Jacquerel will kill Rose's realself
He seems to be heading to random planets and fucking shit up there, possibly intending to kill the players and/or their guardians. As much "magic" as Rose has, she is absolutely nothing next to a demon. And, since it's theorized that she's going to die anyway...
 * Confrimed.

The Witch of Space and the Seer of Light will gain access to their God Tiers late in game.
First, the Witch will have access to her past dream self, per her Space powers. I theorize her Space powers include the fourth dimension of Space, Time, and she will be able to displace her living past dream self with her dead present dream self, and gain access to her God Tier abilities per the ritual John and Dave have committed to gain access to such abilities.

Second, the Seer has two dream selves, her present sleeping one, and her future fractured timeline one, possessing her living self, and gone insane over grief of the deaths of her friends, the Heir and the Witch. That is why she is unfettered and curt lately, to prevent such a fate from happening again. Something will happen where she loses the Thorns, either something good like being reminded of her humanity or bad like the death of someone in her alpha timeline due to her actions, discarding them for her own set of powers. While possessing the Thorns, she gained all the levels, all of them, and her God Tier powers awaken due to accumulating the required requirement of experience on her Echeladder.
 * What is this even. This is honestly giving me a headache to look at. Let's just say at the moment, it's plausible, because Doc has hinted Rose can god tier in an unknown fashion, and Andrew has hinted Jadesprite may suicide to allow Jade to god tier.
 * Confirmed that they both reached God Tier.

John's death is his Legendary Nap
In other words, he had to die in that bed. The Legendary Nap is supposed to be permanent. It's all part of this particular incarnation of Sburb. (I'm sorry, I don't know how to explain this more clearly.) The two most recent pages? Dave is about to kill his other self because he knows he has to in order to facilitate his own Legendary Nap. (Of course, if he doesn't, this will be jossed in record time.)

...Which spells trouble for Jade, who no longer has a dreamself to fall back on, and Rose, who intends to sacrifice her dreamself as part of her own plan.


 * Confirmed. Jade can't ascend to the god tiers, Dave doesn't (assuming Terezi told the truth), Rose can't ascend and enact her Green Sun plan. However, it should be noted, that all of this is optional, like getting the super-special sword in Final Fantasy games. The trolls beat there game with only one of them ascending.
 * Wait, when and how was this confirmed?
 * Here:


 * Jade, Rose, and Dave have ALL reached their God Tiers. Also, that dialogue from Terezi never confirmed your claim in the first place!

Jade's grandson isn't blood-related
It wouldn't be the first time in this story that someone was adopted.
 * Improbable as of what we understand at the moment.
 * Technically is but also more accurately is not.

It is a necessary part of Sburb that the players’ guardians/custodians/lusii will die.
In the troll session, their lusii were killed before each troll actually entered the game proper, supposedly due to a curse that Karkat released. But since Jack has been killing the guardians in the kid’s session, it’s starting to look like this is something that has to happen. So at some point, Jack will kill Jade's grandfather (who we already know will die because he was stuffed in Jade's house at the beginning).
 * Actually, Jade's grandfather was shown to have died in an unfortunate accident involving Jade playing with firearms, but the crux of your theory is plausible so far.
 * Jade has often been the "Combo Breaker" for the kids.
 * The above is confirmed; besides Bec dies early into Jade's session.

The new First Guardian is Ceiling Cat.
Search your feelings; you know it to be true.
 * Confirmed. God cat is a first guardian, and very cattish.

Jaspers will have been killed by a copy of Colonel Sassacre's book falling on him.
Remember waaaaaay back in Act 1? "Good grief this thing is huge. It could kill a cat if you dropped it." That didn't stop being a thing that happened or anything.

Homestuck is a re-imagination of Earthbound/Mother 2
There are a lot of simulates between the Four Kids of Homestuck, and the Four Kids of Mother. Plus, both are pretty wacky and have similar meanings to the words. ("Home/Earth" & "Stuck/Bound") As such with MS Paint Adventures' style of getting more epic and raising the stakes in each adventure, some sort of Giygas-ish monster could only rival the hideousness of the Demon Head-Mob Boss of the previous adventure. Oh, and both have time travel as part of the story-line.
 * For added fun, there's a flash called Alterniabound.
 * This one isn't a guess.
 * Yeah confirmed by Word of God? Homage, yes. Retelling, no not really.

Homestuck will not be finished by 4/13/10.
Out of the four protagonists who are supposed to have reached Skaia by the end of the adventure, as of just under four weeks before the deadline (3/17/10), only three have begun their GC: BUT TH4T 1S NOT 4S B4D 4S 1T SOUNDS! sessions, only two have successfully entered the Medium, only one has tagged the first gate, and not one has started their journey to the second gate. Also, Hussie has been having computer problems recently. This Troper will be impressed if he manages to wrap things up in such a small timeframe. By this time in Problem Sleuth one year ago, we had already begun the Where Are They Now Epilogue!
 * The story is slated to end no later than 4/13/11. A major plot event is planned for the one-year anniversary.
 * Ah, two years instead of one. That's a much more generous timeframe. So anyone got any guesses what this "major plot event" is going to be?
 * Most likely Dave entering but could also be Rose ascending, John ascending again, or a new Exile or Troll development. There'll probably be an intermission afterward too.
 * An update: Andrew Hussie's original plan has since morphed to "do a really kick-ass animation" come 4/13/10. He says he'll wrap up the act shortly afterwards and eventually get around to revealing the major plot event originally stated to occur on this date.
 * Currently 4/22/11 and Homestuck just started Disc 2.
 * Plan for over a year now has been "Homestuck will be done when it's done"
 * Andrew seems to be loosely shooting for 4/13/13 at this point.

Alternately, The Angels teach Eridan how to use light science.
As evidenced with Doc's chat with Rose. It could be that The Angels are ally constructs but won't help the player unless they prove their worth.

Dave's Timetables, Aradia's Music Boxes, and Jade's Goggles are Magic Feathers.
Apparently Rose's wands are, so this probably applies to all items that seem to have powers related to a player's element. Presumably, most players use items like these as crutches before growing to fully understand their powers (which often coincides with reaching the God Tier, as we've never seen a god using props). John was eventually able to use his wind powers without a prop, but it took a dire situation to bring them out.

Andrew Hussie is canon, and has an already-defined place in it.
Why do you think his personal world contains whatever he wants? Why do you think he has avoided touching canonical events (except for the ONE YARD)?
 * He's canonically the author, which essentially makes him god.

Billy the bell suit diver is a representation of Dave
In episode 13, Billy is seen examining a Treasure Map with the assistance of four Squiddles. This is obviously a reflection of Dave working with the horrorterrors on the map to the Green Sun.
 * Looking pretty good so far! Especially since Dave is going to have to help Rose deliver the Tumor.

The Horrorterrors are being slaughtered by an analog of Skipper Plumbthroat
If Squiddles are parodies/avatars of the Horrorterrors, then whatever is killing them is also parodied in the kid's world. Why plumbthroat? Because he appeared, very briefly, in an animation. Now think back, when has ANYTHING that was used ANYWHERE not played into the story? Exactly.
 * So since the end boss is unlikely to be Jack it's a toss up between Skipper and English? Provided they are not the same being.

Horrorterrors are being killed off by a void traveling, hyper bad-ass, bearded sailor. I rest my case.
 * We know it's either Lord English or Jack Noir.

The monsters are artificially created by the Black Queen.
This explains why she doesn't enter the battlefield; she needs to administrate the production of critters, and needs to have her ring nearby so they can take on the properties of prototyping. They don't enter Skaia, possibly as a condition of the game, but they also aren't needed there; the Black King and Dersites are enough to win the war, but the monsters are needed to obstruct the players passage through their worlds, since they're the only ones who can defeat the Black army. Monsters don't change instantly with new prototypings, so old monsters can remain while new ones are created, but the world on entering the Medium will immediately be populated with critters of the most recent kernel prototype.
 * With her creation of Doc Scratch, this seems to be confirmed.

Jaspers, not Halley, was supposed to become the First Guardian.
Something I noticed when the troll's genetic code was revealed: it referred directly to Doc Scratch. , referring to both the Felt's time-manipulation abilities and the sound which would herald Lord English's destruction,  referring to Vriska's habit of breaking oracles and the fact the Doc Scratch has one as a head, and , referring to both his Affably Evil personality and the fact that he's. But MEOW doesn't seem to corespond to Halley at all. Besides which, Halley becoming Bec isn't nearly paradoxical enough. But assuming that the fan theory of Mutie being Jasper's parent is true, then Jaspers being a first guardian suddenly makes sense. Somebody (probably a manipulated Dave or Rose) tried to prevent him from becoming the first guardian via appearifying him before he could tell Rose the code; however, they were too late and wound up killing the can in the appearification process. They then reset the device to the first thing they could find: Halley.
 * Bec existed in the distant past and probably rigged the system to create himself. The MEOW code was more of a genetic sequence corresponding to genes. Also Andrew made up the idea of the MEOW code along the same time as Bec, and Scratch's codes make more sense because he made them up much later.
 * Bec isn't nearly that smart. And Hussie does love his retroactive foreshadowing.
 * Indirectly sorta confirmed later. Jaspers was used as the genetic father of God Cat, who has a BARK code.

Sopor Slime is quietapine
Quietapine (aka Seroquel or Ketipinor) is used, in low doses to treat anxiety and insomnia. But that's just exploiting one of its side effects. In high doses however, it is used for its original intended purpose as an antipsychotic. Sleeping in the stuff would only put it in contact with the skin, where it would be poorly absorbed into the bloodstream. Eating it as Gamzee did would put it in contact with the much more permeable membranes of the digestive system, resulting in a much, much higher dose. And yes, quietapine has the fairly common side effect of getting the user absolutely baked.
 * In non technobabble, Sopor slime is designed to sooth trolls. Higher concentration in the pies soothed Gamzee's mental instability and went too far and made him stoned. However as for the direct WMG, unlikely that Andrew would know of this particular chemical, but probable that he knows of the phenomenon. Chalk it up as half-confirmed then maybe.

Act 6 will be about the eight player session catching up with the other two sessions
We have seen how a reset works now so the new session will probably be the kid's guardians and/or ancestors.
 * Kid Nana Egbert, Kid Mom Lalonde, Kid Bro Strider, Kid Hass the Flame, Kid Dad Egbert, Pup Bec, Fedora Freak.
 * Although we don't actually know what session Fedora Freak is in Bec is an unlikely player.
 * That is only seven players.
 * Batterwitch Re-Enter existance
 * The kids will be communicating with the 8 new players in the same way the trolls did with them.
 * The 8 players will have the attributes of the other 8 trolls.
 * So a second Mind, Blood, Life, Heart, Doom, Hope, Void ... and Rage
 * Also a second Thief, Bard, Mage, Sylph, Prince, Rogue, Page, and Maid
 * A Time and Space player is always part of the game.
 * Yes, but each session is flawed in some way. An example would be that kid's session had the tumor. While it isn't cannon there is an album song about a session without a space player if I remember correctly. Personally I think it's possible we will be seeing four of the missing god tiers. (Hussie implied that they might become cannon with the release of the newest hoodies one of which was heart.)

More likely the kids session IS the eight player session. Plausable progresion of events below.
 * Jade moves the four planets already existing to the planetless troll session.
 * The reset is triggered.
 * The kid's "ancestors" start session 2.
 * Feferi's ancestor's attribute is clearly life meaning attributes repeat in session.
 * The planets in session 2 are joined with the planets of session 1.

J is post-Scratch Grandpa Harley, and his full name is John Egbert.
If we assume that the kids and ancestors always switch places when a scratch occurs, Jade's grandpa would logically become Jade's grandson. As for the John part, it's admittedly unlikely that we'd get two characters with the same name, but starting Act 6 with a re-enactment of the start of Homestuck seems to be the sort of thing Hussie would do.
 * Confirmed... except his name is Jake English.

The Horrorterrors are playing Skaia and Lord English against each other
Skaia, through Sburb/Sgrub is a force of creation that makes new universes. Lord English is a universe-destroying demon. The Gods of the Furthest Ring allow both Rose and Lord English to place their servers in the Furthest Ring where they can be accessed from any universe. Rose's guide makes it easier for players to get their session started properly, while LE's signal allows him to enter a universe and destroy it. Additionally, the Gods guide Dave and Rose to where the Green Sun will be to facilitate its creation.

Theory: destroying universes keeps LE from turning on the Horrorterrors, so they work to maintain the cycle of creation and destruction.
 * Half-correct. Lord English plays Skaia and the Horrorterrors off of each other.

WV will live
Karkat's Blood powers have yet to be shown, and WV seemingly isn't quiet dead yet. PM can teleport so the distance problem can be mitigated. This also would give WV and Karkat a chance to bond, as a better alternative to Spades Slick's constant stabbing.
 * First Guardians apparently cannot teleport inside the Furthest Ring, so the distance problem still stands.
 * Looks like PM found an alternative way to do it, so I'm gonna have to eat my words.

WV will give PM the ring
he has given up trying to lead men, and seems to be about to die when the structure he's inside blows up. He will entrust PM with the ring as a parting gift, believing in his new queen.
 * Jossed: PM is entrusting him with the ring and he's going to go back to the past etc etc
 * And now kinda-sorta confirmed by [S] Cascade.
 * Though he never had any conscious choice in the matter.

WV will be horribly ripped to shreds to get to the the green eye (probably by Jack).
Because John or Dave still need to use giant quills for the Scratch and Hussie would love to deliver a Player Punch like that.
 * Assuming of course, he decides to finally face Jack after all those years as the post-exile Wastelandic Vindicator.
 * That's a pretty big if, assuming that a mechanical eye can survive in his stomach for hundreds of years? We already know that he survives to be exiled at least, so it seems unlikely. What probably will happen is Jade will develop her own powers and resize the weapons as needed.
 * Jade may alchemize a replacement, possibly from something she already has.
 * Confirmed, but for the Uranium.

Jade's grandfather is a mad scientist.
It's been deduced from the Act 2 closing update that GG lives in the volcano by the frog temple. GG lives with her grandfather. Supervillains, particularly mad scientists, famously have secret volcano bases. GG (in her first, psyche-out appearance) has an atomic symbol on her shirt; she says that her meetings with her grandfather are "intense," which would be true if he was some kind of insane villain; her pet Bec%2, unsilhouetted... Bec, by contrast, has so far been seen only in silhouette (including within the very photograph I just mentioned). There's also the fact that, unless we switch back to Dave soon, Jade will be meeting her grandfather and getting her Strife music before Dave meets Bro and gets his Strife music, which would be awkward. Therefore, I endorse this theory.
 * Confirmed, mostly. He's certainly insane and a genius.

Dave's Bro isn't the one who started the puppet thing.
So far we've seen that:
 * 1) John's Dad picked up the clown harlequin fixation in what has been theorized to be an attempt to share interests with his son.
 * 2) Rose's Mom picked up the wizard fixation in what has been theorized to be an attempt to share interests with her daughter.

From this we can theorize that Dave's Bro picked up the puppet fixation in what will be theorized to be an attempt to share interests with his brother. Unless Andrew feels like breaking the apparent pattern established...
 * Jossed, Bro started the puppet thing all on his own, Dave's fixation/dream scribbles were Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Cal did however originate from Dave's dreams, but Bro seems to genuinely have liked puppets long before he even adopted Dave.

All the guardians will die in the battle to kill Jackspers Noirlecrow
We see in the end to act 4 that the Guardians are on their way to Skaia to do something (presumably help in the fight against Derse) however later on Bro engages Jackspers on his large...turntable....thing. Anyway, judging by the "shit is getting fucked up" tone of the last update, it seems fitting that the rest of the Guardians should end up giving their lives so that the kids can complete the game normally. We already know that Jack's ascension is irregular (he just stayed an agent in the Troll's game). This is the guardians evening the playing field for their kids, which they have done on previous occasions. Also.
 * Actually, Bro didn't lose too badly against Jack, and he and Davesprite vs. Jackspers Noirlecrow might have been a true even match. But they actually died when he became Bec Noir mid way through that battle. And no, it is pretty much surely not getting completed normally. This session is on self-destruct, and their new goal is to move the self-destruct bomb to Bec Noir's power source.
 * Well they died, but they were caught off guard and did virtually nothing. Bec however died without facing Jack.

Colonel Sassacre and Betty Crocker are time-displaced John's Dad and Rose's Mom.
I base this entirely on Dad and Mom hanging out together and Sassacre having Dad's nose.
 * Which would make Dad John's dad, half brother, great grandfather and granduncle. My brain hurts.
 * Jossed, they're dead. Besides, Dad doesn't drink? And Mom doesn't bake; their roles are reversed.

The Scratch will cause the story to start over, with the guardians taking the kids' places.
Except for Dad, all eight of them were created in the same ectobiology lab and it's possible that John messed up their delivery to earth: the Kids were supposed to become the "parents" and the guardians were supposed to play the game. If the kids manage to escape the Scratch, they might even be able to fight alongside their guardians.
 * If the scratch's effects go all the way back to the Trolls' universe, their tougher "ancestors" might also take over for them.
 * John couldn't "mess up" the sending, because it was an automatic thing. It's certainly possible, but unlikely that Andrew would also replace all of the main characters for very nebulous and mysterious characters. It would in essence defeat the mystery of the Guardians, which is half the point.
 * You know, they could have played a previous session, failed, and started over as guardians, kind of like how Doc Scratch explained the trolls' session here. So, Inversely confirmed, maybe?
 * Directly confirmed now. In all likelihood at least. Although Dad will still be a Guardian; Nanna will take John's place and vice versa.

The Scratch has already happened once, causing the story to start over, with the kids taking the guardians' places as players.
It would explain why the guardians are so powerful ("Good grief, look at all this grist. A large and terrible monster must surely have been slain here."), why Grandpa Harley and Mom Lalonde have knowledge of Sburb (Dad doesn't because he wasn't a player, Nanna was), enough for Jade's home to be modeled after her Prospit tower, enough for Mom to build a secret passage to the Skaianet lab. Nanna has knowledge because she's a kernelsprite, but she might also have had knowledge before she died. They all lost their session, and those of them that had ascended to God Tier were able to carry knowledge back for the second round, in which their descendants became their ectobiological children, created by John instead of by their session's Heir (perhaps Grandpa Harley; he certainly seems the most connected through not only the design of his abode, but having adventured in the Medium before the game even began by Earth time).
 * This could also be true of the trolls, their guardians having reset their session so their descendants would have another go at it, one which they ultimately succeeded in.
 * This is confirmed.
 * This could even be true of all failed sessions that end in a Scratch, that the players do not reprise their roles, but instead become guardians to the next generation of players. The ectobiology lab that creates the players and guardians could multiply in complexity with each new iteration, creating multiple generations of players and former players to be sent through portals to different points in their planet's past.
 * Problems; past players wouldn't have died so easy, they never display any form of heroic powers, doesn't fit with the trolls because they never even met their ancestors (who also display no knowledge of Sgrub, one would think Mindfang and Redglare wouldn't fight as much if this were the case), it's presupposed that all initial sessions begin in failure, unless these Guardians also had guardians who helped them and good lord I've gone cross eyed, Mindfang makes mention of The Summoner being born sometime in her future and the Sufferer apparently existed sometime in her past, Nanna died of meteors long before entering the game, surviving the Scratch is seemingly very difficult, possibly even unique to the Kids and trolls, they won't enter the main universe, but will enter the rebooted Medium, presumably without having aged one iota, making it difficult for them to really be Guardians to players who are essentially a few days their juniors, and most glaringly, we see the guardians as infants (aside from Dad who is an anomaly).
 * Flip it around: By causing the Scratch, the Guardians will become the new players in the rebooted session. Scratch at least seems to imply as much
 * Filing under confirmed-ish, as it's close enough

God Cat is Jaspers
The guys who made made Bec in the Beta session used Halley to make him, so this time around they used Jaspers. And this Halley will be prototyped by Jake, just like Jaspers was.
 * Confirmed-ish.

In a GC: 3XC3PT FOR... OK N3V3R M1ND session with only two players, they would be the Hero of Time and the Hero of Space.
In this conversation, Doc says that the device to activate the Scratch is always on the Hero of Time's planet -- this implies that every GC: 1T W4SNT N3C3SS4RY! W3 W3R3 4LR34DY BR33Z1NG THROUGH TH3 G4M3 4T OUR LOW3R L3V3LS session has a Hero of Time. Also, Jade and Kanaya are both stokers of the forge and keepers of breeding duties of their respective sessions, and also both Hero(in)es of Space -- presumably these are related. Therefore, Time and Space are the two most critical roles in GC: BY TH3 T1M3 W3 R34CH3D TH3 TOP OF OUR 3CH3L4DD3RS 4ND M4ST3R3D OUR FR4YMOT1FS, W3 W3R3 COMPL3T3LY DOM1N4T1NG! , and the ones that show up in every session. Assuming you can't be your own server player, two is the minimum number of players in one session, so it makes sense that there would be two crucial powers.
 * Confirmed apparently. There's also something worth mentioning in that Time players are Derse only and Space players seem to be Prospit only, and awaken prior to the session.
 * Unconfirmed, with there being no Time nor Space player in the Alpha Session. Perhaps Doc Scratch meant IF there was a Hero of Time, the record would be on their planet. Otherwise, it's on someone else's.
 * Alpha seems to be a very particular exception. Every one of the other 3 known sessions has at least a Time and Space player, and Word of God confirms they are the only strictly necessary players.
 * Also, all evidence suggests Alpha does have Time and Space players - Dave and Jade.
 * Confirmed by Word of God specifically saying this. The only possible exception might be a solitary Hero of Doom in a session.

Jade is going to lose to Courtyard Droll in round two of their fight.
So far, every time two people are locked in a duel two times, the loser of the first round will somehow win the second (or there will be a winner if the first round was inconclusive).


 * Jack vs. Bro: Bro survived Round 1, only to get killed by a freshly-4x-prototyped Jack Noir in Round 2.
 * Eridan vs. Sollux: Round 1 ended in a stalemate. Round 2 blinded Sollux.
 * Eridan vs. Kanaya: Kanaya died in Round 1, but got undead revenge in Round 2.
 * Jade vs. CD: Jade easily took down CD in Round 1. By this logic, CD will finally have his revenge in Round 2.
 * Jossed...? CD isn't even going to fight Jade anymore.
 * CD is a tricky bastard, consider this one plausible again.
 * Confirmed, tragicomically, just before the End of Act 5. Although it turned out to be just what Jade needed.

Jadesprite will die, causing Jade to ascend to God Tier.
John hinted that since Jade's Dream Self is still alive in a way, she might still be able to reach God Tier. Seeing as Jadesprite wants to die anyway, she might as well do it in a way that helps Jade.
 * Half-and-half. It was Jade herself that died.

All four kids will reach God Tier.
Doc said that Rose can still reach God Tier, despite what the Trolls said. Dave's Dream Self is still alive, and Jade's Dream Self has been resurrected as Jadesprite, so the possibility is still open for all of them.
 * Jossed, because even if Rose does revive, she won't be on her Quest Bed and is still dead.
 * Nope, this was Confirmed so, so awesomely.

John will cause the Scratch . ..
. . . because when Karkat trolled him just before the Scratch, he was in the Land of Heat and Clockwork (where the Beat Mesa is).
 * He's the only one who could honestly scratch a beat on the mesa to begin with.
 * Confirmed

Dying on one's quest bed is sufficient to ascend regardless of dream self status
Doc Scratch told Rose that she had two quest beds and two ways to ascend, and had a 50% chance of succeeding. Since he knew she would inevitably be killed by Jack Noir and revived by Dave, this means that, unless his statement was a lie, a joke or a prank, she still has a 50% chance of succeeding even though she has been revived by merging into her dreamself, and therefore no longer has a separate dream self. This page and this page could be interpreted as indicating that Aradia's dream self on Derse was dead. In [S: Wake], Aradia's dreamself doesn't wake up until after it's immolated, and if Aradia's dreamself was alive at the time, it's possible that it died in the flames before she ascended.
 * Aradia seems to have been a special case, and there's still a reasonable way of looking at this: when the kids go into the new session that Karkat and John have been talking about (and Doc Scratch and Rose talked about earlier), they will be incorporated as additional players (one of the pictures on the most recent update is of an eight-player session of Skaia), and Rose will get a new dreamself and a second quest bed, where she WILL ascend. The 50% chance meant a 0% chance of reviving on one bed and a 100% chance of reviving on the other.
 * That is not how statistics work. Rose could have a second bed in the Furthest Ring; there have been some hints for example that the trolls do (ie: the lilies seen on Skaia)
 * Not for us, since we don't know how the future is going to go. Doc Scratch DOES. Rose asking him the probability was her trying to trap him into either answering "0% chance of her going God Tier" or "100% chance," since from his perspective there are NO other answers. Saying "50% chance" on the grounds he's averaging the probabilities of both beds is the only way to escape giving it away, and in a weird way is confirmation she has to. If she wasn't going to go God Tier, the statement would be "0%". Rose's second bed COULD be in this session, but Doc Scratch is pretty evasive about where it is. As for the lilies, how does that point to God Tier at all? It seems to be a side effect of the whole "new universe" deal.
 * The lillies (check around where Vriska fights Jack Noir) only appear in the colors of the DEAD trolls; the predominant fan theory is that they represent some method of resurrection not yet seen in the comic. Also Doc could easily have simply been extrapolating like with the Vriska and Jack Noir fight; he is not entirely omniscient so he could genuinely not know. The 50% might stem from the uncertainty surrounding whether Dave or Rose will deliver the Tumor.
 * Confirmed with Rose and Dave's ascensions to God Tier. There seem to be two ways to go god tier: waking self dying on one's planetary quest bed causing the dream self to go god tier on Skaia (John, Vriska, Jade), and dream self dying on the second quest bed on Prospit?/Derse or its moon (Aradia, Rose, Dave), also causing the dream self to go god tier. So far only Prospit players have been shown using the former route, and only Derse players the latter: it is not known whether this is intentional or a coincidence.

Jade's "grandson" is actually one of the players from another iteration of the universe.
There's two possibilities here. The kids may have played through the game once before and Scratched it when it became unwinnable. Then they somehow made it to the next iteration of the universe and decided to "help" their other selves. However, this session has also become unwinnable, forcing another scratch.
 * Alternatively, the "penpal" is one of the kids from the post-Scratch universe, who has somehow found a way to communicate with the previous universe (probably through Outer Ring shenanigans).
 * Trollian can already communicate with other universes, no special shenanigans required. Presumably if some of the trolls survive, they'd be able to pass down that to their kids. Additionally, J seems pretty certain Jade's his literal grandmother, not metaphorically. There are a few other things too like calling the Ahab's Crosshairs as an heirloom.
 * Outer Ring shenanigans may not be the only way that Jade's grandson could communicate with her. As of recent developments, the best mail carrier in the entirety of paradox space has been imbued with First Guardian powers.
 * Hi there Jake!

In the new universe, the kids would have gone through the same treatment as the trolls.
The kids would have switched places with their guardians, J (Grandpa) taking the place of Jade, and Jade taking the place of Grandpa, with all of the heirlooms. J would have found a way to contact the old universe, probably through the outer ring as mentioned above, or with Karkat's help.

We will see the powers of all twelve known aspects. This means that the post-scratch alt!kids' aspects will be Heart, Hope, Life and Void.
There will be no class or aspect overlap between the four kids and the four post-scratch alt!kids, and no two characters will share the same title. The alt!kids' aspects will be Heart, Hope, Life and Void, with two Derse dreamers and two Prospit dreamers. Karkat, Gamzee and Sollux are safe until they use their powers on-screen.
 * But doesn't every session need a Hero of Space to handle frog breeding?
 * Yes, every session needs a Hero of Space to do frogs and a Hero of Time to handle timeline shit. No exceptions. Everything else is basically extra players.
 * Also, Sollux isn't looking too great at the moment.
 * Hussie has hinted we'll at least see all twelve God Tiers.

== The Dream Bubble John from the 7/2/11 & 7/8/11 updates is the John from Davesprites Bad Future timeline, the one that was killed by His Denizen, not Alpha John. ==
 * 1. It's been shown that alternate timeline Daves and Aradias can enter the dream bubbles, so alternate Johns shouldn't be a problem.
 * 2. John doesn't remember things that happened after the timeline split where He decided not to fight His Denizen, regular conversations with Vriska, Dad's death, etc...
 * 3. He says He died wearing the Wise Guy Slime Suit, which was what He was wearing at the time, instead of the God Tier Hood or the outfit Vriska made him.
 * Confirmed.

Rose's Light powers ARE related to luck like Vriska.
Her X-Ray Vision could pertain to things related to luck and fortune considering that she used it on a magic cue ball that predicts the future.
 * Although the X-Ray Vision is a bit of a gray area, the luck-related powers are confirmed by her God Tier transformation: She can see what events lead to the most favorable outcomes.

Jadesprite was freaking out about the Green Sun because first guardians aren't supposed to see it
Though it may be stylistic (especially in Bec's case), from the two first guardians we've seen, neither have eyes. Halley even had eyes before the DNA code was applied to him, which could mean it isn't just style. Guardians could simply use their powers to sense and get around, but because Jadesprite has eyes, she's staring right into their power source, which no guardian normally does.
 * Let's assume you mean non-first guardians and you're directly quoting canon yes. Jadesprite mentions how bright and blinding the sun is.

Bec will be prototyped with Jade's Kernelsprite
And thus Jack having DD create Bec will have all been so that Jack himself can be prototyped with Bec's powers.
 * Further support: The trolls say that what goes wrong with the kids session is Jack Noir. Currently Jack is as strong as one of the queens or kings. He has only gotten this far by using a Dues Ex Mchina on one, Getting someone to force two of them to step down, and surprising the last one and robbing him of his powers before the fight.

Likewise, Bro seems able to go toe to toe with him without much trouble, so it doesn't make much sense that Jack Noir would cause the kids to lose, let alone be able to affect completely different sessions (as the trolls seem to imply happened to theirs in one of the more recent updates)

Now, if he had the powers to alter reality at his every whim, then yeah, he MIGHT be a problem.
 * Confirmed
 * But not by DD, blame Vriska.

The Blue Ladies represent the nanasprite
She is a blue lady with only one arm, and it seems as though Jade's grandpa might have met her. Since dolls act like what they represent for prototyping purposes, this means John nearly prototyped a kernelsprite with a sprite. We will probably now never know what that would do.
 * Probably not! They're meant more to show that Grandpa is pretty insane.
 * Confirmed to an extent in that the junk Grandpa has is meant to evoke the other kids, ie, suits of armor, mummified stuff like Jaspers, and so on.
 * Also appearently Nana and Grandpa were destined to be married so... kinda?

Jadesprite will do something EXTREMELY AWESOME
Sprites are naturally powerful enough to protect their player from the first-level underlings for a bit while they get used o the game. Now take that, and add first guardian powers AND frequent experience in using those powers. Now take THAT and add Jadesprite's mental level: smart enough to be able to plan he use of those powers, and loyal enough to her friends that she would actually want to. Quite literally the only thing stopping her right now is her (understandably) crippling depression; if she ever gets over that, well...
 * Further caveat: The something awesome she will do will be to send the kids into the Troll's session so as to avoid the Kid's Scratch. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
 * Or maybe it will be THE OTHER WAY AROUND and Jadesprite will take the surviving Trolls into the Kids Session!
 * These two caveats are jossed
 * Corollary: Jaspersprite will also do something EXTREMELY AWESOME.
 * Jaspersprite was gathered up by Jade while escaping the old universe, so it's possible. There also appears to still be another Jaspers running around Derse in Roxy's room.
 * Further Corollary: She'll do it with Davesprite and they'll die together.
 * Oh you mean something like creating the most powerful sword in the game and then teleporting it to Dave and Rose making the mission to the Green Sun possible?
 * Something else in addition to that
 * Confirmed, but Jade ascending to god tier obviated her existence first.

Davesprite lives!
Why else would Jade's Dave count includes him? Maybe he really is just hiding?
 * It's possible that sprites are unkillable, since they're meant to serve as the players' primary fountain of information. Presumably, their soul retreats to the pendant and has to be somehow rejuvinated. It's possible that Alternate Future Dave knew this, having attempted to kill the extremely annoying Calsprite at least once, which is the real reason he put himself into the sprite -- to stave off the curse that follows those from doomed timelines.
 * We know that Equius' lususprite died. Not immortal.
 * We're not completely sure if he's alive for good, but he's back!
 * And he presumably will die shortly during the Scratch, or do something with Jadesprite. He is still bleeding heavily so he probably doesn't have much time left.
 * Nah he's fine.

Lord English is Lil' Cal
So, whilst reading through Homestuck again, I got to this page. In it, Andrew Hussie bereats Lil' Cal for not dressing up but more importantly for not swapping, "...[his] eyes with those billiard balls and make them alternate rapidly". Since then I've come to a conclusion: Lord English is Lil' Cal! Think about it:


 * Very recently, we got a glimpse of Lord English this page. It was only his eyes prbably indicating that Cal switched them
 * Doc Scratch once stated that to know his true name is to, "understand terror no human ever has". That's because his true name is Lil' Cal: a puppet that is notoriously creepy
 * Not really a credible speculation, but Cal's shape is abnormally elongated, possible tall enough to fit the overcoat, if Cal was tall enough
 * The inside of Lord English's Cairo Overcoat is blue, just like Lil' Cal's shirt
 * Lord English is said to have been already there. While that is true for the Troll's Sburb session (and we do infact see that he is there on Alternia's moon) he's aslo alredy there in the Earth's Sburb session, because Lil' Cal is Lord English
 * Figures that Lord Engilsh's gang of vassels would be called "The Felt" since it goes with the Pool theme, as well as the creepy doll theme with lil' Cal
 * There's a bit in the EOA flash that made some people wonder if it meant Lil Cal was the real "most important character" in Homestuck, adding more fuel to this fire.
 * When Lord English actually did appear, he wasn't Cal himself, but his face certainly looked like an even more demonic take on him. So jossed, but this theory certainly did have some base to it in the end.
 * Well, Doc Scratch is Lil' Cal, and Lord English is Doc Scratch. Confirmed?

Rose will create Lord English when she destroys the Green Sun
Mostly based on Doc Scratch giving her information about it, despite the fact that destroying it will depower him.
 * Plausibly he is released by the destruction of the Green Sun. There are plenty of mysteries still surrounding it.
 * Replace "destroys" with "creates" and this is pretty much confirmed.

How Matchsticks was killed.
Remember the fire we all saw at the beginning of the Intermission? Spades most likely knew this was an easy way to get to Matchsticks, so he started a fire on purpose, pulled the alarm, and when he appeared, killed him off.
 * Alternate Theory: The recent appearances of Doc Scratch are actually taking place right before the Midnight Crew intermission. So, when Doc called on Matchsticks to put out the fire, the present Spades Slick happens to appear and kills the latter, hence explaining the fire in the first panel of the Intermission.
 * Based on Andrew's cryptic references to Quarters and Matchsticks not coming back, this seems to be the most likely example.
 * Alternate Alternate Theory: Fitting the time theme that the felt has going on, Matchsticks cannot extinguish fire. He can only temporally displace it with his fire extinguisher. The reason we've never seen Matchsticks until now was because he was chasing the same fire around branching timelines. Each time it was shunted off to a different timeline, and each time someone would summon him to extinguish it. This continued until his death. He pushed the fire into the past, where Spades was fighting Quarters.The fire saved Spades the trouble of finishing the job when Quarters was combusted by the suddenly appearing conflagration, and pulled the alarm before collapsing and dying. This of course, summoned Matchsticks to THAT timeline, where he was off'd by Spades.
 * Correct so far as we can tell at this point.

Doc Scratch represents Anonymous.
Like the trolls represent parts of the internet (furries, hackers, etc.), Doc Scratch represents Anonymous (or at least, how they like to see themselves). Wears a suit? Check. No face? Check. Trolls without an account? Check. And while he hasn't had enough characterisation yet to draw conclusions, he doesn't seem the type to forgive. but he may sometimes forget.

Blank face, wears a suit...Perhaps he's the Slenderman!
 * Actually pretty spot on. He trolls people too.
 * And he mentions himself being the corrupting influence on Trollkind. A literal hate machine, to continue the symbolism a bit too far.

Lord English created SBURB to orchestrate his own summoning.
Everything that has happened in and long before the game seems to relate back to Lord English. These two sessions-- Earth and Alternia-- were used to bring about the destruction of two universes, as required by the code that we can only assume Doc Scratch wrote and sent to Sollux. These two SBURB sessions were used to set up the necessary circumstances for the loop to end and for the code to execute.

We also see that Spades Slick (nee Jack in the troll session) hates Lord English nearly as much as he hates Snowman. Slick opposes Lord English, whereas BQ supports him in The Felt. This could lend credibility to the theory that Jack Noir, as the Sovereign Slayer, is trying to screw up the Earth and Troll sessions in order to stop Lord English from being summoned, and why, beyond the demeaning clothing and silly mockery, he hates the Black Queen so much.
 * Confirmed...ish. English doesn't create Sburb but he is a part of it.

Aradia died twice
Take a good look at the dreamself chart shown after Derse Sollux wakes up. Aradia doesn't have a dreamself. Either she has died prior to the Flarping incident, or she just doesn't dream.
 * I think it's more she died before anything happened having to deal with Sgrub or Dreamselves. Feferi seemed urgent to wake Sollux up after he died - possibly- because of the fact that if your Dreamself doesn't wake up/isn't awake when you die, it died too? That's my theory anyway.
 * My personal theory on this is that the game exists retroactively. She doesn't have a dreamself because she was already dead when it was initialized, so her dreamself is dead too.
 * Or, more simply: Ghosts don't sleep. Thus, there'd be no need for Aradia to have a dreamself, as she'd never have the opportunity to use it. Since this leaves Derse with a spare player-slot, the most thematically appropriate player (Sollux) gets an extra dreamself. Aradia gets assigned to the Time Traveler role for balance reasons, to give her an alternate means of quick-travel and self preservation.
 * Resolved with 01/05/11 - "[S] Wake." and accompanying formsprings -- Aradia did have a dreamself, but owing to her death before the beginning of Sgrub and her ghostly status, it wasn't sleeping in a tower and didn't appear in the chart.

Gamzee will undergo a complete personality change.
He was so chill all these years because he was always willing to think the best of people. Even when someone does something like, oh say, tossing a FLARPer off a cliff, he's quick to forgive. This is mainly due to the effect the toxic Sopor Slime Pies had on his mind. They addled his brain, but he'd run out since they left alternia. After Dave gave him irrefutable proof that his religion was completely pointless, he'd had enough of leniency.
 * Confirmed! OH SHIT
 * On that note, since titles in the game signify what you should grow to become and not what you are already, he is the Bard of Rage.

Sollux's Mobius Reacharound Virus assures the destruction of U1 and !U2
If THIS is the program itself, then the bifurcate THIS,T] splits the program into its red and blue components (non-colored parts appear in both). Blue component looks like this:~T). Red component looks like this:~T). So at the end of U1, the program will execute its blue component within U1, and vice-versa with !U2. Since the program splits every time it is executed, the number of programs in both universes increases exponentially! Each time a virus executes, it curses everyone nearby, leading to a infinite amount of curses and bad luck (along with killing the trolls lusui and maybe the guardians). Since its self-fulfilling, (i.e. executing it results in the end of the universe, which executes it.) we now have a good explanation of why Sollux had no choice but to write it and Kakrat had no choice but to execute it in order to preserve the integrity of space-time (although neither realized it).
 * Confirmed but more because Aradia went back and corrected any timelines where Karkat didn't run the code.
 * As of Cascade, we now know which of the universes was red and blue, and that the code hinged on the destruction of both, which then possibly executed the code that summoned Lord English.
 * It's more like reflects rather than assures.

Vriska is being played.
She's already been the victim of BatmanGambits before. All the terrible things she made happen in the kid's session to bring about Bec Noir were exactly what Doc Scratch and/or LE were hoping she'd do. In fact, Doc may have been manipulating Vriska her entire life to make her into the kind of person who'd screw up everyone's lives just to indulge her own ego. Naturally, when she learns this she'll Flip the Fuck Out.
 * Jossed. Vriska was trying to live up to her ancestor's example, not being manipulated by anyone. Overtly at least.
 * Confirmed later.

Troll typing quirks are a normal facet of their internet culture.
Their text color seems to be either forced to be their blood color (or one can opt to go anonymous), or at least it's a cultural norm for them to match. Why else would lower classes reveal their position, if some look down on them so? Troll typing weirdness is their means of internet profile customization when their text color is untouchable, almost like a font change.
 * It's more like a mental imperative. We've frequently seen them get annoyed by one another's typing quirks-- such as Karkat shouting at Gamzee for typing like a tool, Kanaya poking fun at Feferi's trident E's (--E), and Feferi in turn remarking on Eridan's "wweird accent". In response, the trolls have often displayed the ability to type without these quirks, but as Gamzee said the first time we saw this, it feels really strange and unnatural to type any other way.
 * That could also mean that they're just firmly-ingrained habits, rather than some kind of deeply-encoded instinct. (My apologies if that's what you meant.) Also, keep in mind that this is Gamzee we're talking about, and he never said it applied to any of the other trolls.
 * When Eridan and Feferi attempted to break up, they both decided to drop their accents to show how serious they were. This means that 'normal' trolls are slightly more willing to change according to the situation, but they only do it in a special event.
 * Probably confirmed by UU, unless she lives in the pre-scratched troll-universe (or a different one altogether).

The Trolls will be reincarnated as humans
It's basically being blatantly foreshadowed with these conversations.
 * Maybe...but what point would that serve? At all. There's literally no point to that?
 * Semi-confirmed (though not directly) with the Alpha Kids.

Rufio was Tavros' Ancestor
Tavros named his self-esteem after him, possibly because he was inspired by his journal.
 * The Summoner looks a lot like him.

Gamzee Is Not Dead
He managed to grab something on the way down and is currently climbing his way back up. When he returns, there will be hell to pay, as a good hard kick in the Genetic Legacy has only served to piss him off.
 * This is obvious. Gamzee has to survive until the CRITICAL MOMENT at 0:00, as was already seen.

The so-called Troll Ancestors are actually the trolls' descendants.
In the [S Past Karkat: Wake up] flash, there's a scene with Karkat surrounded by the team's paradox clones just after creation. We only see the team's grubs, not their ancestors, and going by [S Descend], these grubs should be sent to their meteors all at once, just before the reckoning. So where are the ancestors' grubs? Simple: They hadn't been made yet in those scenes. Karkat created the "ancestors" after the main group, not the other way around.
 * Given how similar they are, who's to say the wigglers in the picture AREN'T the ancestors, and he hadn't yet gotten to making the main group?
 * Compare this theory to what Scratch says about the ancestors.
 * Confirmed.

Gamzee will either revert back to his normal self or be killed by Karkat.
Whilst basking in the glory of Zillyhoo, we see Gamzee standing over Karkat holding the warhammer. Now, since John was unable to craft it, yet the rabbit still had it, where did it come from? Since most of the rabbit's weapons were from other characters (Deringer, Ahab's Crosshairs), we have to assume SOMEONE made the warhammer.

Solution? No one did. Gamzee, however, is seen to posses every weapon in the game inside of his Jokerkind specibus. It can be assumed, then, that he can merely manifest whatever weapon he needs. He pulled the Warhammer of Zillyhoo on Karkat during his murder rampage, and lost it. Either by giving it away, or having it pried from his cold, dead hands.
 * At least partly confirmed. Gamzee is, if not necessarily back to normal, at least not murderous anymore. The bit about Zillyhoo remains to be seen.

Vriska will return
According to AH "She's dead. Out of the story for good? Who knows.", in other words, he hasn't ruled it out.
 * Confirmed
 * When?
 * Look above Aradia. Vriska has never been near the green sun ever period. It remains to be seen if she's dead or not however.
 * That's not a future event, that's a picture from her doomed-timeline fight with Bec Noir.
 * But that didn't happen yet in that timeline. So... a future event from the perspective of a doomed session Vriska? Doesn't that mean she is still doomed, why even bother showing that unless that Vriska isn't doomed?
 * Also did no one notice what happened to her clock?
 * Terezi did the deed to give the rest of the trolls a chance of surviving, therefore it was Just at the time not because Vriska was particularly evil at the time but because it was supposedly the best course of action. In order for vriska to comeback that either has to be the wrong course of action (yet another false timeline, unlikely) or moot (the trolls will die without her there to help)
 * Confirmed at any rate, Vriska in dream bubbles is not quite out of the story yet. Remains to be seen if she'll stay dead or not however. Sollux however did simply walk out of a bubble, which could mean any number of things.

Gamzee's not dead, and he's still sober.
"Don't turn your back on the body" never referred to Kanaya's revival at all. Gamzee's hurt, but he's not out of commission yet...
 * This one is really really likely (and terrifying) since it says on the wiki that Gamzee is still alive at the time of the "critical moment".
 * Confirmed, although for vastly different reasons. Karkat moirailed Gamzee into submission, and the blood on his shirt was from them hugging.

Her Imperious Condescension is Betty Crocker
Nanna said Crocker wasn't human, and Doc Scratch said she would find "a new employment opportunity" once she returned to Alternia. The cruel disposition Nanna described is certainly in line with everything we know about her. The symbol of her battleship even resembles the Betty Crocker logo.
 * This is now my personal Headcanon.
 * Oh my God, we've found the thirteenth troll!
 * Confirmed.

The "Ophiuchus/Serpentarius" troll will somehow be involved in the Alpha Session.
If you look closely, the viewport at the end of [S] Act 6 has the Ophichus/Serpentarius caduceus at the top.
 * While pretty much confirmed, it should be noted that the caduceus is completely separate from and unassociated with either common form of the Ophiuchus symbol.
 * UU is involved, but not directly.

The Complacency of the Learned poster is a hint of UU's true nature.
It explicitly contains his/her symbol, and the antagonist of the book is stated as being androgynous, much like UU. The character is stated as manipulating a chess game, and having hunted down twelve heroes.
 * Confirmed ish; the suit at the bare minimum seems to be present.

The new Black Queen is the Condesce working under Lord English.
In order to ensure that the Alpha session summons him successfully in the Kids' Universe, Lord English has the original Black Queen killed off and replaced her with his own agent, the Condesce. That way, she can influence actions in both the real world and the dream world, as evident by her ordering Jack to kill of Jane and Jake's dreamselves before the game starts.
 * Identity Confirmed by [S Prince of Heart: Rise Up].

The Alpha kid's titles.
Based on things said during their introductions:
 * Jane will be the Maid of Life.
 * Jane will probably be the Heir of Life.
 * Confirmed at the very least as a hero of the Life aspect.
 * Given that Jane isn't the Hero of Breath, and the game's title handouts seem to have accounted for the coming of the God Tiered beta players thus far, I doubt she'll be an Heir to copy John's role. That, and I'm pretty sure the titles are gender-specific anyway.
 * Confirmed as Maid of Life.
 * Jake will be the Page of Hope.
 * Jake has to be the Hero of Space; every session known needs one and they're always green texted.
 * It appears that the Trolls' Ancestors were Heroes of the same attributes as their heirs, so it's possible Jake is the Hero of Space. There's also some hinting that Jane is an Heir.
 * Skaia could have left the Space position open, knowing that a God Tier Space Hero would break into the session before long, bringing her forge and frogs with her.
 * At this point it's impossible to choose between A) This is precisely correct because the Kids (and maybe Trolls) fulfill the "required" roles or B) This is just Andrew messing with us, and they are still the same Heroes (albeit titles shifted for gender; it's doubtful Jake is a Witch!)
 * A is correct at least partially; Jane's Denizen is not Typheus, which means her element is not Breath. This would mean the Alpha Kids' session is a unique case, as the titles and roles haven't carried over.
 * Jake confirmed for Page of Hope
 * Roxy will be the Rogue of Void.
 * Dirk will be the Prince of Heart.
 * The remaining two alpha kids will be the Heroes of Heart and Void, since those titles are similarly vacated by dead trolls. As mentioned above, either the lack of a Time or Space hero in their session is a glitch, or it automatically accounted for the arrival of the pre-scratch kids.
 * Discounting the Maid and Page theories, the only titles left are Bard, Mage, and Prince for guys, as well as Thief, Rogue, and Sylph for girls (assuming Nick, Gent, Destroyer, Waste, and Huss aren't canon enough to count).
 * D. Strider is the Prince of Heart- notice that while Jake is talking to his auto-responder that he calls him "dickprince" and mentions emotions several times. The Disciple was special in emotions, too-her love for the Signless transcended the quadrants. He draws admiration from Dave in the beta session and from Jake in the alpha session.
 * ...But if he ends up loving rap battles as much as Dave, I'm calling Bard on him.
 * There's actually a minor pattern so far in that Page and Maid were the titles of the players who had duplicate elements to those in the Beta Session. If that follows, he'd probably be the Thief of Heart, or Slyph of Heart, but Slyph is probably a female only title.
 * Given Jade and Kanaya's earlier conversation about the 'Sylph' being 'a witch but more magical', R. Lalonde is a candidate to be the Sylph of Void.
 * Although the Thief role isn't unlikely given how she got Sburb to begin with.
 * Ro-Lal is all but confirmed for Void, seeing as how her dreamself has an unnatural "attraction to the void" in Di-Stri's words.
 * It is theoretically possible that they have new classes. Hussie, in full Trolling Creator mode, said he was planning on introducing 48 new Squiddles just to Kill Em All and that they'd might all have their own classes.
 * Jossed seemingly by merch.
 * Confirmed by their proper introduction (VOID is capped during Roxy's, and HEART is capped during Dirk's).

Alpha!Mom will use Riflekind.
Not only does it match her weapon of choice as an adult in the Beta session, it could also mean that Ahab's Crosshairs would get a bit of use following Jade's disinterest. It's probably still just lying around in the trash on the Land of Frost and Frogs, and even if it isn't Jade still has the code. Then, when all is said and done, Jake miniaturizes it with the other Infinity+1 Swords, packages it with Liv Tyler, sends it to Beta!Jade, and we all know what happens from there. The only question is how someone of her apparent disposition gets a hold of a rifle at such a young age without growing up under someone like Grandpa...
 * By Alpha!Mom, do you mean Rose Lalonde (who is Mom in the Alpha universe) or the new Lalonde (who is the Alpha version of Beta's Mom)? Because neither used rifles as far as I can recall -- I thought Rose's mother used her bare hands. Or did you mean Alpha!Grandma for the Alpha version of Jade?
 * Presumably the Alpha version of Beta Mom. In the [S] Descend video (I think), you see her on Beta!Grandpa's ship, along with Beta!Dad. Beta!Dad has a cake in hand, Beta!Mom has a rifle of some sort.
 * Though fistkind was in the strife specibus list, when john was first picking his...
 * Confirmed. And for a bonus, she also uses Fistkind.

Guessing at Alpha Mom and Bro's names

 * Dude Scratch (first name could differ because it's the only one I could think of)
 * Who Names Their Kid Dude
 * Seems to be Strider.
 * What about "Gabe"? It almost rhymes with Dave and not to mention "Gabe Bro"...
 * It's a D name which leads to...
 * Dick Strider. The puns would be infinite.
 * And the implications unfortunate...
 * Doug? Drew? Dane? Dale? Dill? Dani? Donn?
 * My personal favorite possibility is Dirk Strider.
 * Duke Strider. Shades wearing blonde who's far too cool for this business.
 * This update seems to say it's 'Di'. Point for Dick, Dirk and Dill, I guess.
 * Dirk Strider confirmed.
 * Lily Kingpin/Snowman/some corruption of Bec Noir.
 * ...Or Lalonde, given that Alpha Bro's didn't change.
 * Confirmed as Lalonde.
 * Lily Lalonde; it has parallels with Rose, and brings up a R/L dichotomy, i.e. Left and Right.
 * As well as the "water" aspect.
 * Jill and Dick, to go with Jack and Jane.
 * ... Except that it's JAKE and Jane.
 * Alpha!Mom's name begins with an R, according to this update.
 * Going off that, either "Ruby" or "Rita" could work.
 * This update implies that it's an 'Ro' name. That, and Andrew's just screwing with us.
 * Roxy? Romy? Roni? Rona? Roro? Rory? Hopefully something that isn't closer to 'Rose'...
 * My bet's on Roxy, honestly. Sounds better than Rosa or any of the above, and fits a bit with her flirtatious nature.
 * Roxy confirmed.

Lalonde was the one who originally Appearified Jaspers when he vanished from the Beta universe.
Or even, for maximum mindfuck value, Rose herself. The Alpha version, that is.

In any case, Jaspersprite mentioned that after he vanished, he lived with "someone else" that he identifies as female, and that while he came to love her as well, she "just wasn't the same" as Rose. The fact that the Appearifier in the Skaianet laboratory was unable to track him during the week he was missing implies that he wasn't just gone from Rose's house, but from the Beta universe entirely. Thus, either Rose or R??? Lalonde Appearified Jaspers from the Beta universe, cloned Vodka Mutini from him, took care of him until his death, and then sent his body back. For whatever reason, he was sent back to a point about a week after his disappearance on the Beta timeline, while on the Alpha timeline he had lived an entire lifetime. (Unless he was just a very old cat.)
 * As above on the same guess, apparently confirmed.

DS will not have a guardian.
In [S] Cascade, When Jade was expanding the fenestrated wall, we saw several panels of Homestuck involving the Beta!Kids. However, when looking at it carefully, there were no panels featuring Dave present. Jade, John, and Rose were all accounted for, but Dave was nowhere to be seen. We have also heard no mention of Alpha!Bro having a guardian/ancestor. Jake has Grandma Jade, Jane has Poppop Crocker, and Lalonde has her Mom (presumably Alpha!Rose), but DS has no one but his autoresponder/Brobot. Alternatively, Dave is the autoresponder/Brobot.
 * Jossed. Not only does Dave exist, Alpha!Bro knows their true relationship.
 * And yet semi-confirmed: According to Dirk his big bro was too busy being a Hollywood wunderkind and died after creating the pinnacle of film making which was also a subtle(?) critique of Crocker Corp's stranglehold on the world; as a result Dirk considers Lil' Cal to be more of a guardian than his bro.

Alpha!Bro Strider will be hyper-literate and possibly a My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic fanboy
Seeing as Alpha!Mom Lalonde is the (drunk) ironic cool kid hacker with the TG handle. As for the brony bit, he sent Jane that Pony Detective book full of notes and if Alpha!Bro is like Beta!Bro he'll have a very one-track mind. ""She is so spunky. <3""
 * Hyper-literate seems confirmed (at least by his chumhandle) as well as the implied Rose-like personality. The brony bit is still unconfirmed.
 * It's not out of the question that Lalonde would be the My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic fan. Remember, Beta!Mom gave Rose Maplehoof...
 * The latest update shows a picture of Rainbow Dash hanging in Di-Stri's room (though it seems to be part of a wider interest for horses and ponies).
 * And now we know that Dirk has something that's "probably a tiny Maplehoof for some reason".
 * After a short-lived attempt to deny having an interest other than "strictly academic" for the show, it has finally been admitted that Dirk has a genuine and sincere fondness for Rainbow Dash.

There will be more Pointless Religious Symbolism
Jake's Chumhandle is the place where Jesus died, and Jane's initials are JC. This may or may not relate to Doc Scratch being an analogue for the devil.
 * And now we have a character that probably represents the serpent from Genesis.
 * The chumhandle for post-Scratch Mom could easily refer to Gnosticism
 * The chumhandle for post-Scratch Bro might refer to Bartimaeus (Literally "son of Timaeus"), the blind man healed by Jesus.
 * And now we just learned that Jake's dream-self is dead to begin with. Can someone say "Lazarus, come forth?"
 * Confirmed

Alpha!Mom and Alpha!Bro's Chumhandle initials will be TG and TT, respectively.
Since Jane and Jake switched initials from John and Jade, Alpha!Mom and Alpha!Bro will switch initials, too.
 * Or maybe they won't, and Jane and Jake only switched to keep the girls alliterative.
 * Or to keep the human girls homozygous and the human guys heterozygous.
 * Confirmed, at least for R. Lalonde aka GC: OK, SO TH3 3ND BOSS W4S MOR3 CH4LL3NG1NG TH4N W3 3XP3CT3D.
 * Fully confirmed, as D. Strider's chumhandle is timaeusTestified.

When Jaspers disappeared mysteriously, he was in the Alpha Session.
We've seen that Alpha!Mom has mutant kitties, which suggests that she has a dead cat whom she's trying to bring back. One of these attempts ended up bringing her cat's Beta counterpart into her universe, albeit temporarily (and fatally). Perhaps this is the same technology that will allow Jake and Jade to correspond with each other. It's been established that it is possible to appearify and sendificate from the pre-scratch to scratched universe, as Jake did with the bunny. And Jaspers said that he lived with another girl until he died. And, judging by her symbol, Lalonde likes cats. So yeah. Think about it.
 * More ominously, Alpha!Mom has an activated Fourth Wall.
 * And Alpha!Earth's guardian is a cat, which means he has a cat as an ectobiological parent.
 * Confirmed.
 * Bonus mini-WMG: The Tome of Sassacre was appearified on top of him, killing him, and that's why RL is in a panic and using a :'( face.
 * Confirmed in all parts.

There will be a red army as well as black and white army
The Red Queen hypothesis is an evolutionary theory about the effect of sexual selection on competition between species. There are now two species who could theoretically 'win' the human Alpha session of Sburb, the humans, or, through Crocker, the trolls. Thus, it would be logical for a third 'side' in the black/white chess war to appear, Red, the armies of the batterwitch whom, as we have already seen, seeks to hijack this session for her own gain.
 * Unlikely. Jack and CD have implied that Crocker has already usurped the Black Queen of Derse, rendering the necessity of a red army moot.
 * Sorta confirmed actually; at some point in the future, red Imperial Drones will be fought by Strider, but it seems that they're on the side of Derse.
 * He fought them while still on Earth.

Alpha Jade's company was Skaianet.
Skaianet was responible for Sburb in the Beta session. Who's responsible for Sburb in the Alpha Session? BC Corp, who also crushed Alpha Jade's company.
 * Worth noting that Beta!Skaianet was right next door to where Rose lived.
 * Confirmed.
 * What? How?
 * This panel implicitly confirmed it.

Jaspers will be the First Guardian of the Alpha Session.

 * Mom's Pesterlog icon is Mutie, similar to how Bec was Jade's icon.
 * Jaspers was appearified out of the Beta session, and his likely destination would be the Alpha session.
 * He appears back in the Beta session dead. Ectobiology can use the DNA of a dead entity, and in Bec's case was Halley's DNA + MEOW.
 * A BARK code for Jaspers (a cat) would be a perfect mirror to the MEOW code for Bec (a dog).
 * The BARK code thing, at the very least, seems to have been confirmed.
 * And as a bonus, if he picks up any similarities to Doc Scratch, the obvious new name for him would be Cat Scratch. Jaspers wore a suit, after all.
 * Seemingly confirmed.
 * Plausible, at least.
 * First Guardians are born into their condition, not made later. Jaspers is likely to be God Cat's ectobiological father, but it's probably impossible for Jaspers to be God Cat.
 * Throwing under confirmed for being more or less along the right lines at least.

Roxy will go Grim Dark or... something.
Recall that Rose's viewport blacked out for Kanaya when she went grimdark. And then this: "UU: thoUgh i do have a wee bit more troUble monitoring her than the rest of yoU. cUrioUs dark patches in transmission, hUmph."

"Her" referring to Lalonde.
 * It could be Lalonde being the Hero of Void.
 * Or she's just that drunk.
 * Seemingly Jossed. Lalonde has no interest in grimdark majiycks from what we can see.
 * Grimdark, specifically, no. However, Roxy does love wizards and hopes their majyyks are real. She also has an unfortunate habit of seeking out the void/abyss when sleepwalking on Derse.
 * But seemingly Confirmed -- on the "or something" bit. Apparently she will eventually use her Rogue of Void powers to black out the entire session, according to a later conversation with UU.
 * But not grimdarkness

The Condesce will call herself the Red Queen
Not my idea, but I've seen it around other places. It would be a nice reference to Through the Looking Glass, as well as an evolutionary theory.
 * And now that the First Guardian of Alpha Earth is a cat we may get an Alice in Wonderland motif.
 * Doesn't seem to be calling herself it per se, but the principle is confirmed.

Jake English(and maybe Jane as well) will be the first one to meet the Beta kids and Trolls
We know for sure that Jake, and maybe Jane, no longer have dream selves. Where will they dream then? In the dream bubbles! The rest of the cast, sans John and Jade, are currently in the same space as dream bubbles. So I bet the cast will intersect before they even reach the new universe.
 * Even if they don't, it seems likely that the humongous object in Jake's sylladex is the fenstrated wall John and Jade will crash through.
 * Probably jossed by [S] Roxy: Sleepwalk, depending on how you interpret the WMG.
 * Confirmed-ish. Jake is the first to meet a troll, though it's not any troll we've seen before.

The Alpha session will feature no pre-entry prototyping
Supporting facts:
 * 1) Derse and Prospit lack prototyping towers.
 * 2) The White Queen's ring lacks any pearls to receive power from prototyping. The Condesce has a similar looking ring on her finger, and the White King's scepter also lacks pearls.
 * 3) The White Queen has the White King's scepter. Normally, this is present on the Battlefield where the kings lead their armies, and the Reckoning occurs when the White King's scepter is taken. This may be a sign that the Battlefield will never evolve in their session (in the course of normal play), and Derse must take the scepter from Prospit directly.

What does this mean for the ultimate success of the session? At this point, who knows? It might be possible for Skaia to meld and regenerate the Beta session's damaged and formerly cancerous Battlefield. Or that might be the role of the Heroes of Life and/or Hope. As is, though, it looks like the Alpha session is doomed to be null and infertile without outside intervention.
 * Jane has entered without prototyping, thanks to GC: BUT BY TH3N 1T W4S TOO L4T3 TO GO B4CK 4ND DO 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT 1T, 4ND W3 H4D 4N 4RMY OF L3TH4L PSYCH1C ROBOTS TO H3LP US direct intervention. That's a fair sign that it's not supposed to happen for any of them. Especially if you believe the theory that the role of First Guardians is to shepherd the events of the Alpha timeline.
 * Confirmed by Rose.

The Alpha Session is missing a whole lot more stuff than has been shown (or not shown) so far
It's already been shown that the Alpha session has no prototyping towers, or orbs on the black ring / white staff. There's also no heroes of Time or Space. I would guess that there's also no Veil?!? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006388 "TT: There's nothing like that out in the abyss. If you drift far enough, there is only horror." Does anyone know if the Veil was visible from Derse in any of the other sessions? And then if there is no Veil, that means no armies, because they get bred there. That plus no prototyping means the battlefield is either stuck at lvl. 0, 3-by-3 pointlessness, or doesn't exist at all, which would mean no Kings, which would sorta explain why WQ had a the white staff instead of ring(I can think of no other explanation for this), and also why the Condesce only had to depose the BQ and not the BK. Plus, the standard ectobiology procedure wouldn't work, becuase that was all in the Veil, so the kids would have to be paradox clones probably with Davekind Shenanigans. Plus, no Reckoning or battlefield to be destroyed with it, discounting the battlefield Jade is bringing. This probably messes a lot of stuff up...
 * There is a Veil, indirectly confirmed albeit. The Veil is visible from Derse, but we haven't seen it yet, as looking towards it would spoil what Lands were or show them not there yet depending what theory you believe. Anyways, indirectly confirmed by the existence of large numbers of Exiles in Roxy's lab. Unless they were exiled in some unknown fashion, they rode meteors to Earth.
 * Seeing as exiles on meteors traditionally end up in the future, I'm fine with guessing that they were exiled in some unknown fashion. Although that still wouldn't explain where the frog temple came from... hmph. Okay, so there'd probably need to be at least one meteor. But maybe just one then?
 * Meteors carrying infants have landed in the past before. There very well might have been exiles on Earth during contemporary times, and they were simply killed during the Reckoning. So far the Veil seems to be normal. Assuming there's no weird ecto shenanigans, then there will need to be a few more for the baby making and sending.
 * Oh, and it turns out there's another explanation for the exiles in the "present"...
 * As mentioned below, Rose explains that there are a few key meteors (babies & temple), but not a full Reckoning.
 * Oh, another thing: the Lab doesn't appear to have the countdown-to-unestablishment timer, nor do we see the big ol' computer with the targets for all of the meteors. Although they might have just been offscreen. Also, as far as weird ecto shenanigans goes, Roxy now has a bottle of kidmomgoo, so that's kind of relevant?
 * That particular terminal is locked on Rose though. It's not entirely certain if that can be used for ectobiological shenanigans anyways, and there would need to be another few terminals for Roxy to collect more data.
 * Well, there's officially a meteor coming at Jane now, so unless it's actually a crashing airplane there's probably a Veil. So alternative idea: you know how Lord English has been killing off the Horrorterrors? Well by the Alpha session they're (mostly) all dead. There aren't enough left to glub up bubbles for the Alpha session, so that's why when Jake goes unconscious he just ends up in the void and not a bubble, and why there's random trolls floating around.
 * It isn't a meteor. It's the Battleship Condescension. The WMG is confirmed, though maybe not the bit about the Veil. The Alpha Session lacks prototyping towers, traditional exiles, sprites, cruxite items, and probably more that we'll see later.
 * We can't say that about traditional exiles just yet, and Jane's tree may well have been her cruxite item.
 * Actually we can; we've seen the future wasteland and given Jane didn't even have a meteor impact her house, she can't have a base grow out of it. The same applies to Jake apparently, and Dirk and Roxy live contemporaneously with the Exiles.
 * Since we don't actually know how anyone (other than the Condesce) arrived on Earth in the first place, we can't rule out future meteor impacts via the Reckoning or other means, nor can we rule out being exiled by other means as a normal part of the game. (I guess it depends on what you mean by "traditional" exiles.) One potential clue in favor of future impacts is that Jake's island looks the same as Jade's, and the latter's was formed partially by meteor impact. Additionally, bombarding polar ice caps is also a common means of melting them in science fiction (e.g. to terraform Mars). Keep in mind that it was the backlash from Bec's energy blast that destroyed the Earth's water in the B1 universe, not the meteors.
 * We also can't rule out that the kids will have exiles guiding their session; they have been getting commands from someone after all. It could be UU & uu, but exiles are another possibility.
 * According to Rose, it turns out that the meteors that brought the babies and the frog temple are likely to be the only meteors that hit the new session, and all the babies' meteors came from the B1 session.
 * Exiles don't begin to command players until after they enter, and Exile commands tend to be very transparently obvious since the players can't control anyone anymore.
 * As for the bit about the Horrorterrors... People keep forgetting that time is effectively meaningless in the Furthest Ring. As Rose said, the Horrorterrors are "being massacred. Presently, already, and still to come." It's doubtful that there's any point in time they can't reach at all, including "after" their own extinction if it ever happens. Plus, we've already seen the Alpha session in contact with dream bubbles three times by the time we saw the "meteor": Roxy's dreamself wandering through a bubble, Jake's dream meeting with the Scorpio troll, and Roxy's encounter with the Pisces troll on the other side of the window.
 * Another bit that's probably missing then: Exile ships, since no cruxite/no meteor. Since the future is flooded and exiles probably don't breathe water, the exiles all went to the past instead? That'd explain partially why there are exiles in the present, because the present comes after the past.
 * No the Exiles still went to the future!


 * Confirmed by Rose.

The reason why Dirk and Roxy refer to their Guardians as alive...
...is because, since they live in the not-too-distant future, Alpha!Bro and Alpha!Mom really are alive in Jane's time.
 * Confirmed.

The Alpha sessions Exiles will not have access to the kids' terminals.
Think about it: Jane's Cruxite Tree bore no fruit. Given the correlation between previous Artifacts and Terminal Stations, that means that one of the kids' stations (most likely Jake in this case) will not have a form. I expect it'll run the same way with all of their Cruxite Artifacts.
 * There aren't bases so they can't have terminals. Jane's meteor was actually the Battleship Condescension and we see Jake's home (which also has no bases), and Dirk and Roxy's terminals (if existent) would be unusable by the current exiles, so as of current canon it seems this is correct.
 * Confirmed by Rose. Void sessions do not have a reckoning, and thus no Exiles.

Mystery Troll Girl is...

 * Young Mindfang: Has the Sufferer's sym69l and wears fancy, colorful clothes.
 * Guardians / Ancestors cannot enter dreambubbles according to various sources.
 * ...Unless it's Mindfang's ghost from the pre-Scratch timeline. Being left behind during the Scratch technically kills you after all, and she was still a player then.
 * John and Vriska's uncreated daughter from a beta timeline: Someone noticed MTG and John have similar cowlicks. If Karkat apparently has an alternate timeline where he went god-tier and died, surely there's one where the trolls and kids met and ecto-biology'd up some descendents.
 * There's some Terezi in there too.
 * Pre-scratch Vriska/Mindfang: Inverted clothing style to the beta trolls; similar cowlicks might indicate similar dispositions.
 * Having a John-like hairstyle might suggest she is like John is some fashion, which would put an odd spin of John and Vriska's relationship. This troper thinks her hairstyle makes her look like Terezi, while others on the Homestuck wiki think one of her horns resembles Kanaya's more than Vriska's. Both can be explained by an ectobiologcal genetic relationship. The fact that her outfit is more fashionable suggests pre-Scratch trolls care about fashion, or perhaps she just gets it from pre-Scratch Dolorosa. Since Doc Scratch says the pre-Scratch trolls were wiped from existence, she may be from a doomed timeline.
 * Additionally, there may be eleven other trolls coming after her; Hussie never said he wouldn't introduce twelve alternate trolls. He also canonized all the fantrolls, when he previously referred Doc Scratch's story about the Ancestors as troll fanfiction...meaning they're fantrolls. Meaning canon.
 * Jossed: Hairstyles have been shown to not change between Scratches or aging.
 * But confirmed because the above logic was flawed. We never did see her hair in any great detail, though her sign and horns are unchanged, something that for trolls is far more important than hair.
 * Not dead: She's from the future, but "not born" = "not alive" in the void hence the dead-dreambubble eyes.
 * UU, or one of UU's race.
 * A beta-Alternian troll from Vriska/Mindfang's bloodline. Now this giant chart isn't just canon, it's our new cast list.
 * Not real: She's just an echo of Vriska and Mindfang's journal that got mixed up in Jake's mind.
 * Well then, just take all of the theories, why don't you? Allllllll of them. :::;)
 * GC: 1T 4LL WORK3D OUT 1N TH3 3ND >:]
 * Vriska in limbo. We aren't sure how she died... are we?
 * Seems like a big ol' sword right in the chest might be lethal.
 * It has been comfirmed that she's Aranea, and is most likely the pre-Scratch Mindfang.

Post-Scratch Earth will contact Pre-Scratch Alternia.
And possibly even save them from their Scratch! MOBIUS DOUBLE REACHAROUND!
 * And give a whole new meaning to the term "Paradox Space".
 * Andrew has said directly this is unlikely, in no uncertain terms.
 * Trolling Creator-unlikely still means it could happen.
 * Unlikely in the context he used it was more along the lines of "Stop asking about this stupid idea, they're done".
 * The comment about unlikeliness seems to have applied solely to the Ancestors on Post-Scratch Alternia. What seem to possibly be Pre-Scratch Trolls have been showing up, though they are deceased and are only being "contacted" via dreambubbles. They could very well be descendants as well.
 * Confirmed. Though they are dead and it's not limited to the Post-Scratch session at all.

The Condesce brought B2 trolls with her when she entered Universe A2
We don't know if The Condesce can travel through time, but we know Lord English can. Either way, they could have recruited an army of trolls by going back in time before The Vast Glub and bringing them to The Medium / The Furthest Ring / one of the B universes / whatever. Given the They Live references, they may have hidden on Earth by disguising themselves as humans... before the Condesce took over outright.

The Dead Pisces Troll (Meenah) was the Token Evil Teammate of Pre-Scratch Alternia's Session...
...And Post-Scratch Alternia only has a caste system because she switched with Feferi.
 * Keeping in mind, of course, that the Pre-Scratch session failed because the trolls were a peaceful species and that Alternia was a utopia. Meanwhile all we've seen of the Pisces troll is that she's Ax Crazy...
 * Is she really axe crazy though? Sure, she attacks Roxy, but she's portrayed along the lines of a 90s era mosh-punk, and she didn't exactly try too hard to hold her once Roxy fought back. Maybe her surprise attack was just her way of saying "hello".
 * ...When was the last time you introduced yourself to someone by pulling a weapon on them? At any rate, she's confirmed to have violent intentions against Roxy, saying she wanted kill her "for the halibut".
 * And that Feferi was far too peaceful and friendly on Post-Scratch Alternia, even willing to abolish the caste system entirely- the two of them must have been switched before departing!
 * For what its worth, Equius says that the higher you go on the hemospectrum, the more naturally bloodthirsty and violent you are prone to be. Perhaps it was a lot harder to know how to express yourself in pre-Scratch Alternia, but the Condesence and those who share her blood color were just the grand high sociopaths of that era.
 * Confirmed.

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