Comically Missing the Point/Quotes

"I mean, I like uniforms, but what's the point if everyone in a group is wearing the same thing?"

- Tedd, El Goonish Shive

"Report on Reports Sees Too Many Reports: Project took 668 Pages, 18 months; more study is due, agency head says."

- An Associated Press wire story, reproduced here.

"Charles: Now, which is the worst tennis-playing nation in the world?

She: Er ... Australia.

Charles: No. Try again.

She: Australia?

Charles: (testily) No... try again but say a different place.

She: Oh, I thought you meant I'd said it badly."

- Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Science Fiction Sketch"

""Do not damage the safety equipment. Remove it, in case of danger.""

- Female Announcer, Rabbids Go Home

"Zii, as une lesbienne, I'm... I'm... I'm going to miss boooooooooys!"

- DiDi, Ménage à 3

"Padme: After it!

Clone NPC: It´s a spaceship. This is a hover transport-

Padme: Modify the engines or something!

Clone NPC: -with no walls.

Padme: Hold your breaths!"

- Darths and Droids

""For a far more thought-provoking tale about the virtual realm, try The Social Network.""

- A USA Today review of Tron: Legacy

"Shoots him down dead on the floor

Aw, you shouldn't do that

Don't you know you'll stain the carpet

Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet"

- The Velvet Underground, "Sister Ray"

": Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.



: ...

: Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end



: Though you could also say it's missing an e




 * Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall*"

- bash.org

"{From the educational movie "Meat and You: Partners in Freedom"}

Troy McClure: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.

Jimmy: Oooohhh!

Troy McClure: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy! It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported."

- McClure misses the point and makes it worse, The Simpsons

": i once questioned a turtle about advanced trigonometry

: but after a while i found out it was only a rock

: idiot

: fuck u... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked like a turtle

: i dont think u get my point"

- Bash.org

"Jeremy: I'm here to renegotiate my employment, Hector.

Hector: Dude, you quit before you ever started.

Jeremy (holding his hand out): Apology accepted.

Hector: Engaging mower blade!"

- Zits

"Katara: It says here, "If you ever want to see your daughter again, bring 500 gold pieces to the Arena." It's signed Xin Fu and The Boulder.

Sokka: I can't believe it. I HAVE THE BOULDER'S AUTOGRAPH!!"

- Avatar: The Last Airbender

"Gumball: What do bald people need more of?

Darwin: Friends?

Gumball: Yes! And what do you buy friends with?

Darwin: Uhhhhh...

Gumball: With money!"

- The Amazing World of Gumball

"Martin: And I'm wondering, how did it all slip away?

Karen: Well, "it" didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.

Martin: Yeah, that was a good party."

- Get Shorty

"I think they have destroy the game just with the Bo; i hate japenese music, it was a bad choice to give this project to a japenese i think"

- Teranovadra's reaction to the final stage of Child of Eden

""It's so disgusting that a woman would leave her baby in a dumpster. Some people eat out of those!""

- Comedian Nikki Glaser

"Mr. Furious: ... Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing

The Shoveller: Don't start that again. Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.

Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms.

The Shoveller: That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see."

- Mystery Men

"Confucius: Never belch before a lady.

Froggo: Sorry! I didn't know it was her turn."

- Histeria!

"Luigi: 200 years [in prison]!? What're we gonna do!?

Mario: Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!"

- Super Mario Bros Super Show

"Princess Selenay: I will not take those gowns, or these gowns, or any gowns at all! How many times must I tell you? I'm going to a battlefield, not a fete, a state visit, or a festival!

Maid: But, Highness, you will be surrounded by highborn young men! Your Highness cannot possibly wish to appear the hoyden--""

- Exile's Honor

"Parappa: Wait, wait wait! That doesn't sound like Rock'n Roll!

PJ: Cuz you played it funny. Now it's my turn."

- Um Jammer Lammy, specifically PaRappa's story