BASEketball/Funny

"Remer: You think Jenna's got the hots for you? Shit, Squeak has a better shot at it than you do!
 * This dialogue:

Squeak: You think?

Coop: That's low, you son of a bitch.

Squeak: Why is that low?"

"Remer: That's easy for you to say! You got the team, we got jack-shit! Even Squeak is pissed off!

Squeak: I don't really mind-

Remer: SHUT UP, BITCH!!"

"Jenna: Come on, Joey. Search your heart. What's the one thing you want more than anything else in the world?
 * Coop and Remer's psych-outs, which run the gamut from gleefully offensive to Nausea Fuel to Bloody Hilarious.
 * Joey's last wish.

Joey: .....Chelsea Clinton?

Coop: That's a pretty tall order, dude.

Remer: You'd have a better shot at Bill."

"Cain: Do you think Shaq got rich playing in Orlando? Hardly. He made his fortune moving to L.A. You know how much he makes now?

Remer: As much as he made playing in college?

Cain: What? No, a lot more! Big money, and you can too.

Remer: Would I have to quit baseketball?

Cain: What!? No! I need you to get Coop to go along!

Remer: He had to quit baseketball too!?

Cain: (makes a face of disbelief and walks away with a headache) ...Ungh.

Remer: Did I just fart?

Cain: (holding his head together) AAAAAAAHHH!!!

Remer: All right, dude, listen to me carefully. Do you think Shaq got rich playing in Orlando?

Coop: No, he got rich playing in college. Everyone knows that.

Yvette: (taken a burned autograph Ty Cobb bat out of the fireplace) Baxter, who's Ty Cobb?

Cain: Oh my God...

Yvette: Did I just fart?

Cain: (gets a headache again) OGH!!"