Final Fantasy IX/Headscratchers


 * Of all creatures, why creating artificial Black Mages? Sure, they've got magic, but maybe they should have thought this better and made some warriors, lancers and -- principally! -- summoners to make a better balanced army. After all, they're basically humans whose hat shadows cover their faces, right?
 * It may not have been a choice. They had to work with mist, and created the minions by condensing it into a living being, something that works quite well producing a magical creature, but not so well with a soldier. A more balanced army would require recruitment, which would mean an elaborate deception regarding motives beyond what Kuja may have had the resources to do. Remember, he was just one man with a lotta magi-technology and the ear of some powerful people.
 * Good one. Maybe another kinds of magical creatures? There are white mages(though not practical, I know) and Blue Mages(or Qus, for that matter) that could be replicated. Actually, Blue Mages/Qus would be a good choice, with their destructive omnivorism.
 * Well they probably didn't have a choice on what fighting style would come out(plus the BMs are partially based off of Kuja who is by all means an offensive magician). Why would you suggest summoners, when plot wise only a specific group of people could summon AND are all dead? Plus then they'd have to create summons since no summon can have a pact with 2 summoners.
 * As for creating summoners, that goes counter to Garland's wishes. It was commanded to wipe out the Madain Sari villagers, creating summoners would defeat the purpose of having committed that genocide.
 * Let's not forget that summons can only be bound to one summoner at a time, meaning Kuja would would have to drain Eidolons (which he temporarily did to Dagger, but ended up using them himself) or go out and find them. Considering all the work Kuja had to go through, with causing the near end of the world and all, i doubt he had time to go out and find any summons (your party kinda stumbled on to them by luck anyway).
 * I always assumed that in FF 9, Black Mage faces really were just black balls with eyes. Remember, they're not human, but rather magical constructs derived from "a cauldron of souls", as Kuja put it. And hatched fully grown from eggs by machine.
 * Now I'd protest, I can quite remember at least a few times where Vivi is considered "just a boy" by passers-by, but then again my memory isn't the best. I, myself, also assumed that until I played Final Fantasy Tactics, where a common human Squire can become a Black Mage, complete with the spooky face(see also the FinalFantasy IJBM entry).
 * It's already been established that the worlds are different in each FF game. Comparing FFIX to any other FF game is like comparing the Star Wars universe and the Star trek one. You can't because they happen in different universes with different rules. Just because a human can change into a black mage in one game, doesn't mean it can happen in another.
 * While they do call him just a boy, there is a scene at one point where a black mage- I think it was one of the Waltzes- is killed, his hat comes off, and his head is still black. They may be calling him that because he's so short that they cannot see below the brim of his hat, and so simly assume that he's human under there.
 * I know this game very well, and there has never been a time when any Black Mage's hat came off, even in places that it should have, like the scene where the Cargo ship was hurtling towards South Gate on Disc 1. I think it's purposely ambiguous whether they have faces. You never see faces on a Black Mage, but comments from Eiko about Vivi's "long face" make you wonder if she sees a little boy's sad face. On the other hand, during Lindblum's attack scene, you see Black Mages are hurtling fireballs, the light from which never illuminate any of their faces.
 * To elaborate further, we actually DO see at least one hat come off (on the Cargo Ship--Vivi is staring at it at the beginning of the "Breaking Through South Gate" FMV), but we only see the hat, not the head of the mage who lost it.
 * I did always assume their faces (and probably whole bodies) are just incorporeal smokiness. My opinion on the passersby? Considering the Burmecians, Qus, Amarant's blue skin, and so on, they just figured it was a race they were unfamiliar with. After all, they didn't make too big a deal of Dagger's horn when she first showed up. "Long face" is just an expression, I think.
 * That's my thinking, too. To make an analogy, they're like FF-world Bombs: raw magic encased in a vaguely recognizable shape, given a very basic intelligence. They're made of Mist, so whatever magic they use is just said Mist bursting out of them. From my perspective, creating the effects of Blue or White magic would require some sort of higher intelligence, whereas a fireball or a bolt of lightning would be a more natural, direct form of output because they just bend effects that already exist in nature. Now, for whatever reason, some Black Mages were given greater (or even human-like) intelligence, or accidentally gained it on their own, giving them the ability to think for themselves and therefore cast more varied types of Black magic.
 * Actually, there are a couple of sequences where Vivi eats solid food (the banquest in Lindblum in Disk 1, and the dinner at Madain Sari in Disk 2) along with everyone else. And he also fell victim to the sleeping weed Dagger put in everyone's food. My theory is that black mages are in fact flesh and blood creatures with black skin and bright golden eyes, transformed from the raw biological material in the chocobo eggs into humanoid shapes. As for why the black mages gained intelligence, I think it was because they managed to shake off the brainwashing Brahne and Kuja imposed on them. You see the same thing happening to the Genomes in Disk 4 when Zidane and company bring them back to the Black Mage Village. Vivi even mentions the parallels between them on Terra, when he says that the minds of the Genomes are not hollow, just "out to lunch". He also feels that they're similar, chances are because they were both made into puppets by an outside force, whether it be the influence imposed on them by Brahne or the suppression of their minds by Garland and the Terrans. When they were freed from that influence, they all began developing their own personalities. It ties back into the whole notion of finding your own way in life and not blindly following someone else's commands, which is one of the game's major themes.
 * Fridge Brilliance: They have to gain intelligence. Intelligence is what powers Black Magic in the Final Fantasy multiverse.
 * Well, think: The machine was adapted from the process of creating Genomes, so they could obviously create something similar. On the other hand, they might just not have the same resources as they do on Terra, so they might have more limitations forcing them to go with black mages. It would be the logical thing to default to, seeing as they're not a real race. Black mages are entirely artificial creatures, even Vivi, which could make them easier to manufacture.
 * This was pretty much answered indirectly with the entire plot of Queen Brahne's schemes- magic power is incredibly destructive if harnessed, and it can be collectively harnessed, which is why she needed an entire army of Black Mages- you could destroy a city from afar with magic, but with anyone else you'd have to go in close. Kuja only really sold her the blueprints anyways, and it would be a lot easier to amass an entire obedient and magic-using army from a seemingly unlimited source (mist), than to try to recruit a bunch of people, who already have lives and are at odds with recent policy changes, and give them swords.
 * Why even bother making a balanced army? The Black Mages stampede through every major city in the world and kill every soldier there in a single offensive. Nobody ever stands a chance against them, plot-wise. There's never any indication given that having a more varied army would have helped Brahne at all.
 * Furthermore, Brahne had a balanced army. Her own soldiers were quite competent at regular fighting and were led by the legendary commander Beatrix, and her and machinations resulted in her getting a whole crapload of insanely powerful Eidolons. The Black Mages she bought from Kuja served as a moving artillery squad and power boosters for the Eidolons, whenever she felt like performing absolute overkill on the places that the Black Mages were curbstomping anyways.
 * And Kuja didn't need a balanced army, considering that he and his steed barely get scratched from direct hits from Bahamut (and thought that he needed a much more powerful one to stand a chance against Garland), he just manipulated the sapient ones into working for him because he was a dick. Which also explains why he basically used the an army of mystical superweapons like normal servants. The one time he needed non-magical assistance, he just forced the party to do it for him... and considering that they needed to beat up Ark, the prototype for the Invincible and the template for the ultimate Eidolon (available to players), in order to finish his task, most armies would not be up to the task.


 * How come Ark is the ultimate summon yet he really isn't worth the trouble of unlocking? It takes about a minute for his attack animation to end but he does far less damage than the other ultimate summons (such as FF XII's Zodiark for 50k damage, or Knights of the Round for over 100k most of the time)
 * Remember that compared to other recent FF games, FFIX has a more subdued damage/battle system. Seeing as how no enemy in this game has over 60/70 K of HP, making Ark as strong as KOTR or Zodiark would be too cheap. Plus its one of the few dark-element attacks in the game, and this one does not hurt you.
 * Not to mention that Ark works amazingly well with Auto-Regen. While you wait for the summon animation to complete, you get to heal to full. Now that's a good summon to have!
 * This troper has done this - it is, in fact, one of the best strategies this troper has found for surviving after Kuja uses attacks that all but kill you. But only if you turned on Boost, otherwise you're screwed.
 * As for the difference in power, remember that most summons gain power if you have more of the gems that let you summon them. For example, having more Peridots will increase the damage that Ramuh does. There are some exceptions, though. Ark himself goes by Lapis Lazuli, and Madeen gains power with Eiko's LEVEL. Odin and Phoenix don't gain damage with more of their items (Odin, who goes by Ores, will actually LOSE power!), but instead increase the chances of their effects activating (Odin's instant death and Phoenix appearing if all 4 characters bite the dust).
 * Because after FFVII, VIII, and their stupendously over-the-top attacks, IX reasserted the 9999 damage cap, and Ark became the biggest casualty of that. It took a very deliberate "Break Damage Limit" ability in FFX, and getting the overpowered Espers in XII, to break past the 9999s again. Sadly, this is why it's pointless to build up Thievery, Limit Glove, or pretty much anyone's super-duper ultimate attacks when a simple Dragon's Crest can do all-nines damage with very little work.
 * This troper found Thievery and Frog Drop much easier and less tedious to build up than Dragon's Crest. Plus you don't end up overleveled after killing all those Grand Dragons. When it comes to Freya, I prefer Cherry Blossom and High Jump.
 * Just get everyone on the Venom status effect (which Grand Dragons can cause) to prevent exp gain and have Quina learn Level 5 Death. Equip stuff that limits/absorbs Lightning damage or Auto-Reflect, something to Haste Quina, a few ethers and maybe Auto-Regen if you've got it, then just wander around one-shoting Grand Dragons in groups of one or two until you've hit 100 total dragons killed. Voila, a cheap 9999 spell with no Exp gained, and in significantly less time than it takes to catch 100+ frogs (if Quina's at level 99) or steal 700+ times (heck, have Zidane steal some ethers from them, if he gets a turn to boost Thievery up as well and sell anything else you get in order to buy gems for Dagger to have her summons do 9999 damage at decent levels).
 * Come again? Venom paralyzes you and causes you to lose HP and MP every turn. It's Virus that causes you to stop learning XP, and the Grand Dragons don't inflict that. The only monster I'm aware of that cause Virus are the Yans, and good luck getting them to inflict Virus on everybody.
 * Oh, right. Still, I remember getting the Yans to Virus all my characters without too much difficulty, and there are a few other late-game monsters that can cause that stat as well, like Malboros and Chimeras (not to mention Melti-Gemini). Still, I guess you could always just save often and kill/stone everyone but Quina and rely on Auto-Regen, Auto-Haste and Coral Ring to get him/her through the fight. That way only one character gets overleveled, and its one that's only tangentially related to the plot so you could just opt to try not to use them. Or you could go around hunting a hundred the fragile Serpions, which would give less than half the Exp of one Grand Dragon, although that's gonna take a ton of time. Still a metric ton faster and easier than hunting hundreds (assuming you want a low-level run) of a finite, slowly regenerating number of frogs all over the world, and at least quicker than stealing 700+ times.
 * Hey, third party here. Just wondering if I understand this correctly: you guys want to have an attack that deals the maximum possible damage... but don't want to level up your characters? Why?
 * I have to agree with the troper above me. FFIX, unlike VIII, didn't have the enemies scale up in level with you. Every enemy is at a fixed level. Therefore, it's kinda pointless to not level up. If you don't level, you're going to get killed. Besides, in IX, overlevelling really isn't a bad thing. It's just for people who want to do those insane Solo Lvl 1 Character challenges, purely for bragging rights.
 * That, and FFIX's level up stat boosts are based on the bonuses provided by the equipment that your characters are wearing, so if you want to max out all your stats as much as possible, its best to avoid leveling as much as possible until after you get the best end of game gear possible. Still, you can stomp the crap out of the game fairly easily without bothering with all that, especially if you get all of Garnet's gems to max out their summon damage.


 * Kuja wears a bloody thong. We see him from behind more than once. Where in the infinite hells does he hide his tail for most of the game?!
 * Well, I have a theory, but first I think I'll kill ya for making me think of it, and then get some bleach for my brain, okay? =D
 * Take your time. This ought to be good.
 * Are you aware of the practice of "tucking"?
 * Now let's start the Brain Bleaching...
 * He also wears a skirt. I swear.
 * I thought that he cut it off
 * You guys are gonna need a lot more brain bleach when you read this spoiler.
 * Not that it makes much difference.
 * So, let me get this straight. When Kuja trances, his clothes disappear and he grows a mane of red feathers all over? That's cool. And hot.
 * In Dissidia Final Fantasy, that red thing near the torn half-skirt when he trances? Tail, looks like he tucks. May or may not be canon here. Thank you Museum. -Goes for brain bleach-
 * I always assumed that he had a secret pocket in the skirt thing, or else hid it with magic. Dissidia lends credit to the second theory, since his tail is nowhere in sight otherwise.
 * "PleasebeVanishpleasebeVanishpleasebeVanish..."
 * Must be, since there's no evidence of "tucking", either.
 * Depends on where he tucks it...
 * He wraps it around his waist like a Sayian, except he keeps it under his clothes.
 * What clothes? He's wearing a skintight man-kini down there. If he was wearing it like a belt, there'd be a ring-shaped bulge.
 * He coils it into a little snail spiral then sellotapes it to his arse.


 * What the fuck does Eiko's "Guardian Mog" ability actually do? "Protects with unseen forces" my arse.
 * Removes all statuses at the end of battle (Including Virus and Zombie, but I'm not sure about KO) before EXP is distributed. Meaning Virus doesn't affect her at all.

-
 * Why is it that Vivi only really learns about death from No.288? when he is seeded early on in the game, before he gets to the black mage village he asks Blank "will I die?" So why doesn't he he know what death is in the village. is it Plot Induced Amnesia?
 * He knows what it is for humans, but not for Black Mages. He's in too much denial to connect "stopping" that Black Mages do to the death that natural living things do.
 * Just because he's using the word doesn't mean he understands what it means. Ever dealt with a six-year-old child before? They've heard the word and very vaguely understand the concept, but there's no real grasp there. Vivi really comprehends death when he learns from No.288.


 * Why is Kuja, who's wearing what is quite possibly the least subtle and tasteful outfit in existence, wearing such subtle and tasteful makeup? Ignoring the Y chromosome, his use of eyeshadow is quite tastefully restrained, and his lipstick is so subtle as to make you need to look closely to see it.
 * The ancient world between worlds has extensive makeup artists, but no male outfitterists. Realizing that with such input, he would be remembered as a crossdresser after his death whatever happened, he rebelled and wore the least tasteful outfit between the worlds, to make a statement: Look at my crotch, peons, and despair. However, even in this vortex of angst, his training by the master makeup artists slipped through in his delicate, tasteful rouge and eyeliner.
 * This is all true.
 * Makeup&Pale skin is to Amano as Zippers&Belts are to Nomura.
 * Which is irrelevant since Amano had the same input into Kuja than into Cloud (i.e. none). I am always amused that just because IX revisits some of the mechanics and details of the 2D games, some people assume Amano designed it.
 * I'm not sure of the extent of his involvement, but he did contribute character designs for IX. His concept sketches were on the PSX game discs (at least for the PAL version)


 * Necron...just Necron
 * He's a giant god-like final boss. Whether or not it relates to the plot, it's mandatory for every Final Fantasy game.
 * He's my favourite last boss, mostly because of the music (Kefka would win, but his battle is tedious and too easy).
 * In the final battle with Kuja, the last thing he does is shatter the crystal that held the spirit of the End of the Wrold, aka Necron. Zidane and co. have to fight Necron to stop it from doing what it was created to do (i.e. end the worlds). So it's not really a Giant Space Flea From Nowhere at all.
 * Basically, Kuja was half-right when he said that destroying the crystal would undo creation. The act of destroying the crystal doesn't do it, but it does unleash Necron, who can undo creation.
 * My interpretation of Necron has pretty much always been that Kuja's Ultima attack actually kills the party (I mean, heck, it destroys an entire world, do you really think they'd survive that?) and Necron is Death, whom the party decides to fight in order to earn the right to not be dead yet. Mostly evidenced by Necron's final line that basically boils down to "okay, I'll let you guys go, just don't think you've destroyed me or anything."
 * I always thought it had been there all along, chilling atop the hill of despair. When he sees the lengths Kuja (a living being) is willing to go just to destroy itself and all of existance, he's inspired to accomplish that wish for him. When you win (how comes to mind) he accepts that people are capable of insane determination towards life as well, and backs off completely.
 * I don't even think that you won the last fight. Kuja teleports you away while you're still fighting Necron, which seems to show Necron that not even the guy who summoned him truly wanted destruction, so he blew up the battlefield and his corporeal(-ish?) form to wait for some other time to destroy the universe.

"Garnet:Zidane... What is this called?"
 * Kuja's outfit. Kuja was my favorite FF villain ever and one of their better characters, in my opinion, but why on earth did they give him such a stupid-looking outfit? It wasn't really related to his character or culture, and so its only real function is to make it much more difficult to take such an awesome villain seriously!
 * His origin is that he's an accident, an extremely powerful soul that got into a genome by mistake. I've always assumed that since no conscious decision making or selection was involved with said soul, chances are fairly good given what we know that his soul is that of a female exhibitionist.
 * Could it be that he's simply just rebelling? He doesn't seem particularly fond of his origins, or Garland and wanted to rebel against these things in both his world purpose and in his attire, which as such makes him stand out far more than any other character in the game.
 * Two things: first, Kuja craves the spotlight. He has a love for theatrics and playing up the role of "villain". His costume draws attention to himself and is the kind of flamboyant costume you would see at a theatre production. Secondly, he is rebelling. I read a good opinion about it somewhere that can be summed up as, "if Kuja had been dressed like a goth, then Western audiences would have understood his costume the way the Japanese understand it".
 * It hurts my brain to admit this, but Kuja's outfit makes perfect sense in-story. Look at the male Genomes. It's the same outfit, Kuja just pimped it out. Kuja is going by Terra fashions, so he's technically not crossdressing.
 * Sweet jesus, you're right! It's an entire race of stripperifics!
 * Considering that FFIX is basically a love letter to the franchise, he seems to have Sephiroth's hair color and height as well as feats and a sense of drama similar to Kefka's. Perhaps he was imbued with the fashion sense of Cloud of Darkness and Ultimecia?
 * Seriously, they got away with "an age-old ritual between male friends"?
 * Ho yeah! Seriously, though, they also got away with what might potentially be a same-sex marriage.
 * A Pedophilic Same-Sex Marriage. Minus the actual attraction.
 * Are there eating utensils in the castle? Did Garnet Til Alexandros ever look at her bodyguard's weapon of choice? If so, how can she be confused upon seeing a knife? Her astonishment..well..astonishes this troper. It was really the exact scene when we are supposed to believe that Garnet has never heard of, let alone seen, any sort of blade that I ceased to even try and care about the plot of the game.
 * I take it you've never seen an actual dagger. The shape is significanly different. She knew it was a blade, but it was neither the knife she uses to eat with or the swords used by the royal guard.
 * This still requires her to have no deductive skills whatsoever. "This is a blade that has been used, constantly and repeatedly, as a weapon by Zidane. It seems to be a large knife." is normal. Adding "What is this strange device which I have never seen before?! It is absolutely unlike anything I've ever witnessed! I wouldn't be this astonished if I was shown a functional radio!" is not normal.
 * Here, let me check the game script posted on Gamefaqs...let's see, here's the line:


 * Hey, what do you know? She's not staring in awe at a "strange device," and she clearly knows it's his weapon. She's just asking what this particular weapon is called, and considering many of the weapons do have actual names in the series (Save the Queen, for example), it's an entirely valid question.

Yes, right after, Zidane starts going off on a schpiel detailing all the different types of blades, but that's just him being over eager talking to the girl he's got the hots for. It's manifestly not a result of Garnet not having any idea what a knife is.

So, can we please cut this crap out?
 * Okay, yeah, it's hot but, why does no one ever seem to notice Zidane has a prehensile tail? I mean, if it was never actually used, such as it does in Dissidia Final Fantasy, I could pass it off as a quirky part of his costume as Play!Zidane that never managed to be taken off due to the Limited Wardrobe trope. Or perhaps he'd've been passed off as Half-Burmecian or something. (He was an orphan) But I know there are a few times that actually show it having use (Such as dancing around the support beams of the cargo ship to avoid Bert, dodging the roots of the Iifa tree...) so it kinda bothers a part of me, since Burmecians/Cleyrans have little-to-no-use for their tails. (Beyond my original statements about Zidane's)
 * He only uses it when he has to. Most likely the only people who saw him for any length of time that realized it was real were the members of Tantulus, who knew he didn't know as they were his family. Everyone else assumed it was fake, and if they saw otherwise, were completely baffled by it (then forgot, as they see wierder stuff appear on the world map as random encounters).
 * Hm... good points. I'll try to keep it in mind, although I think there was a Hand Wave or five about the weird monsters in the world map (i.e. Something about being condensed mist.) And so the last sentence is mildly irrelevant to the topic at hand.
 * Considering that the world of FF9 is filled with all sorts of weird demihuman like things, I always figured that it wouldn't stand out. I mean Baku has rabbit ears, for god sakes.
 * Yeah, in a world where nobody bats an eye at rat people, the Qu, four armed guys like Alleyway Jack, and whatever the heck Amarant was, is an otherwise-normal guy with a tail really going to seem that strange? The world of FFIX is a weird place.
 * The only time it's really pointed out is when Steiner calls Zidane a "monkey".
 * Of course, Zidane is usually jumping around the scenery while Steiner taunts him with that, but there is a scene on the cargo ship where Zidane vaults away from the steering wheel and hangs from the ceiling by his tail.
 * Not to mention Blank, who looks to be a Frankensteinian creation... perhaps to mirror what Vivi has to come to grips with? Most of the Tantalus troupe seem to end up as friends with Vivi, just as they would give their lives to rescue Blank...?
 * I always took Baku to be a bat without wings... I mean, just look at his nose!
 * I'm pretty sure he's a tapir. Given his name and all.


 * Just what the hell is the deal with Zorn and Thorn? Are they Brahne's servants? A monster? Both? What reason do they have to follow Kuja's orders?
 * They're clearly shown to be monsters by Kuja, so they don't need a motivation. They're not really possessing of free wills or independent motivations.
 * Actually, that's not really true. According to the Ultimania, they were born 80 or so years before the game started. While their motivations and origins are fuzzy, they couldn't have had anything to do with Kuja until his personal involvement in Alexandria.
 * Given what happens to them, though, either they're mist-monsters (in which case they're just as much products of the Terran invasion as Kuja and Zindane), or they're the poster child for "bad things happen to those that stay too long in the mist", in which case they are victims of the Terran invasion. Either way, its the fault of the Ilfa tree, and, thus, ultimately Garland's fault.
 * That's not a bad theory, but it's speculation! Considering how a lot of weird arcane stuff in FF9 is just part of the setting and never explained, there's no telling WHERE Zorn and Thorn most definitely came from.
 * Stay too long in the Mist? Is this a Guide Dang It I've missed?
 * No, its mentioned by Steiner in dialogue near the beginning of the game, when they first enter the mist after escaping the Forest.
 * Seriously, right around they time they turned into a two-headed monster and were just revealed to be two halves of the same thing, I kinda assumed I was supposed to take that about as seriously as, say, Ultros.
 * Maybe they're eidolons (or one eidolon?) and Kuja has their summon jewel? Although if that was the case Eiko or Garnet would probably have been able to tell

"Garland: "I built you to last only until the worthy Genome, Zidane, grew. It was too dangerous to let you last any longer than that." Kuja: "What are you saying...?" Garland: "There's a limit to your life... You'll be dead soon... Even as I die, you'll have died without ever leaving your mark on the world...""
 * Why did Kuja freak out so epically after learning of his own mortality? He's quite possibly the single most powerful magic-user in both worlds (hell, he was able to destroy an entire planet singlehandedly), so why didn't he just use his newfound powers to halt his own aging? Garland himself was several thousand years old, so this is clearly possible.
 * It's not aging that's the problem. Garland specifically made him with a limited 'shelf life', meaning that Kuja will presumably just 'stop' just like all the Black Mages and die. No amount of magic can prevent what was 'programmed' into you. And while Kuja is a magic user, that doesn't mean he has the knowledge to genetically tinker with himself to fix the limited life-span; after all, he made the Black Mages, and they had an even shorter lifespan than him. Only Garland has the power to fix him, and even then, it might not be possible after you're already created.
 * It's specifically stated that Kuja's creation was a fluke--he was supposed to be an ordinary Genome, but a soul somehow got into him and Garland decided to make use of him. That was the whole reason for Zidane's creation--since Kuja was working out so well, how much more effective would an Angel of Death specifically designed for the purpose be? Garland couldn't possibly have programmed a limited life-span into a being that he never planned on making in the first place. And don't even try to tell me that the limited life-span is inherent to all Genomes--they're supposed to be vessels for the souls of Terra, and Garland has a vested interest in making them as physically perfect as possible.
 * Maybe Garland added it in during a regular medical exam of some after designing Zidane? Or programmed it into the prototype Genome in case something goes wrong, like it did. The line about Garland only intending for Kuja to live until Zidane came into his real power suggests Garland adding it in after the fact, though.
 * The impression I got was that Kuja was under the impression that he was as immortal as Garland, and the idea that he'd die of old age just like anyone else completely blindsided him. Garland doesn't say that Kuja has a deliberately limited lifespan--just that he's mortal, and will one day die, and thus cannot build an eternal kingdom. Given what Garland says about Kuja being "flawed" and an "imperfect vessel" while Zidane was created as his replacement, plus the whole business with the Black Mages, I can sort of see how one might think that this means Garland deliberately limited Kuja's lifespan. Looking at what's actually spelled out in the dialogue, however, it seems that Kuja was created by accident as a self-willed, unusually powerful, but still mortal Genome that Garland made use of. Garland then deliberately made Zidane, either to replace Kuja when he died of old age or as a genuinely superior model (perhaps Zidane won't age?). Nowhere in this do we see evidence that Kuja is going to die of anything other than old age. The question thus remains--given that he had surpassed his (evidently immortal) creator and was quite possibly the most powerful being in two worlds, with access to highly advanced technology on top of that, why didn't he simply make himself immortal? Even if he didn't know how to do it at that moment, he had an entire lifetime ahead of him to research the issue.
 * You answered your own question: The idea that he wasn't immortal blindsided him so much that he assumed his lifespan was sharply limited like the Black Mages. Think about it this way...one day, he honestly believes he's going to live forever. Forever. That's thousands of years, at the least. Then, he's hit with the revelation that he's mortal, which means he's got a limited lifespan. Maybe it's not as limited as that of the Black Mages, but from his perspective, even living another 50 years is nothing compared to immortality. So instead of taking the perspective of "Okay, I've got 50 years to figure this shit out," he's thinking, "Christ, I've only got a few years? BULLSHIT!" And while Garland didn't say he had a strictly limited lifespan, he didn't exactly go out of his way to imply that Kuja would live to a ripe old age. So Kuja jumped to the conclusion that he was like the Black Mages, with very little time left, and he freaked right the hell out. From that point on, he simply wasn't thinking rationally, he was just lashing out at, well, everything.
 * First, Garland was an android, so that really doens't apply to the whole extending your lifespan thing. Also, Kuja was stated to only live long enough to perform his duties until Zidane grew to maturity. That means a handful of years at MOST.


 * Garland was an android? Where does it say that?
 * Okay, well TECHNICALLY it only says the Terrans created him but you get the idea http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HW 4 e K Tk Op Hg


 * What's with those feathers on Kuja's head? Did he just tinker with his appearance, or what?
 * He likes to look pretty.
 * That still doesn't answer the question of how.
 * It's just a headdress, not a part of his body. There's probably some sort of hairband holding it together, buried under all that hair.


 * Since it's a world of Lions and Tigers and Humans, Oh My!, would Kuja's insulting nickname fore Queen Brahne, "Elephant Lady" be considered a racial slur?
 * Why would it be? I don't remember seeing any elephants in the game... perhaps it's a case of translation ambiguity?
 * Or Fourth Wall breaking, cause it seems to be a reference to The Elephant Man, which is unlikely to present in the FFIX universe.
 * Or they have actual elephants, just not shown (I think that there are cats, not 100% sure), and he called her fat. I think that was the original idea.
 * Though considering his use of "rats" and "vermin" to describe Burmecians and Cleyrans, and his calling Vivi and the other Black Mages "puppets" and "toys," he's not really averse to specist remarks. I guess it comes from being a narcissist.
 * For that matter, only one party member is an anthro, and only one anthro race has any role to speak of. Amarant's hair could mean he's an anthro poultry of some sort, and Queen Brahne could actually be an elephant - but the series usually includes Werewolves, and there are no canine characters to speak of. Also, the party consists of  which to me, seems like a pretty weak effort to have non-humans in the party.


 * How was Garland thwarted when he first tried to wipe out the Gaians with magic? I know it's an FF1 reference, but that's not good enough by itself-it should make some sort of context in the plot. I have my own theories, but I'll see what other tropers think first.
 * Well, considering it's implied that the first thing he had done this time around is wipe out the Summoners, they probably had something to do with it.
 * My own personal theory is that, 500 years ago, Garland tried to wipe Gaia out with magic, but the Gaians summoned Alexander to stop him. At the start of Disk 3, Dr. Tot wonders exactly why the jewel to summon Alexander was broken into four pieces, and why the people of Madain Sari left for the Outer Continent to do so. And then there are the mysterious writings on the Eidolon Wall in Madain Sari, and the fact that the Iifa Tree is sealed with an eidolon, none of which is really explained. The "arrogant one" mentioned in the writings is probably Garland, who tried to destroy the Gaians, and the people who had to "leave their homelands" were the people of the Mist Continent who traveled to the Outer Continent. There, they began studying the nature of summoning and communing with nature (sort of like Cosmo Canyon in Final Fantasy VII), and realized what the Iifa Tree was doing to Gaia. Their efforts ended in failure (the Eidolon Wall notes that "we repeated the mistake our ancestors made 500 years ago), but they kept trying to stop Garland's machinations. Garland, no longer willing to tolerate their efforts, nuked the village with the Invincible. All the evidence is there, really, it's just never actually connected or explained in detail.


 * Did anyone else ever want to learn more about Terra and its culture? We get some hints, but not much else apart from that. Again, I have my own theories, but I'll see what other tropers have to say first.
 * I always figured Terra as used to being something similar to Midgar of FF7, just planetwide. Maybe a bit more magic/bright-colored oriented but basically the same. Which of course explains in the first place why Terra died in the first place.
 * There's fic for that.


 * It's stated at several points that the Mist Continent is the only one that's explored. And yet, later on, it's clear that people have had no problems finding or travelling to Daguerro and Esto Gaza. What gives?
 * Europe was the only continent on our planet "explored" until very recently.
 * You misunderstand. Daguerro and Esto Gaza have a number of people from the Mist Continent. Alleyway Jack travels between Daguerro, Treno and Alexandria over the course of the game, and Zidane meets Oracle Kildea at Daguerro. At least one of the people at Esto Gaza says he's from Lindblum. How did all these people get there, and how were these colonies established, if the Lost and Forgotten Continents weren't explored?
 * One of them is on a tiny, tiny island in the middle of nowhere; kinda hard to explore nearby continents from there. The other is in the arctic, again, a pretty piss-poor station for basing explorations out of (we didn't fully explore Siberia until a century or two ago, I think), and probably inhabited mostly by cultists, miners, and maybe whale hunters. One is the equivalent of Greenland before Columbus, and the other is like one of the bases in Antarctica- useful for its locality, but any expedition out from it takes too many resources to map much.
 * Once again, let me repeat myself: Esto Gaza and Daguerro are settled by people from the Mist Continent. Daguerro's island is pretty damn big compared to most of the rest of the Salvage Archipelago, and it seems to be fairly well-populated. Esto Gaza, on the other hand, is apparently a regular stopoff point for pilgrims. People don't use them as bases for exploration, they were founded by exploration. And yet it's repeated at several points that the world beyond the Mist Continent is supposed to be unexplored. So how do people from the Mist Continent travel to Daguerro and Esto Gaza?
 * Been a while since I played the game so I don't remember if the rest of those continents were settled as well, but just because two cities were settled doesn't mean the whole place is "explored". For the most part, people considered most of North America "unexplored" even after the 13 colonies were well established.
 * Also, remember that Esto Gaza is very close to the shore. It's probably as far into the Lost Continent as the dared to go, since it's unexplored.


 * This is something that keeps me from taking things like the Ultimanias seriously a lot of the time. If Zorn and Thorn are 80 years old, how the hell are they able to jump, tumble and run around the way they do? By all rights, they should be in rocking chairs gumming their food at the Old Clowns' Home. My grandparents are in their 80s, and one of them has given up driving for good while the other needs a scooter to get around. So how can Zorn and Thorn be so spry when they're both old enough to be Queen Brahne's father?
 * Because they're magical beings and not normal humans.
 * This Troper's 80-year-old grandfather goes skiing black diamond slopes 100 days of the year. It's possible that they too could be hale old guys.
 * Also, we don't quite know what, exactly, they are, or how long their typical lifespans would be. 80 years to them could proportionally be like 20 or 30 to a human.
 * Even before their merging and the weird monster they ended up turning into when you finally killed them, this troper could tell from jump street that those two weren't quite human.


 * Could someone tell me how the whole Memoria/Crystal World thing worked. What was memoria? Did Kuja create it? is it inside the planet? In another dimension? The crystal is apparently the source of all life, when did Kuja learn this? How did he get in? bust a hole in the universe? Is this all connected to the Iifa tree? god my head hurts.
 * I believe they said that Memoria was composed of the collective memories of all creation and reacts to the memories of the people who enter it. The game implies that it existed outside of Kuja's influence and was both apart from the universe and an integral part of it. Kuja probably learned about it from his time on Terra.


 * What is with Eiko's "pants"? They bother me more than anything else in this game.
 * Maybe they're some kind of waders she wears over her pink pants? I guess she could use it to get shrimps or something in the shallows of the river running through Madain Sari, and she wears it all the time because they're more durable than the rest of her clothes and none of the Moogles are good at sewing...
 * Do not attempt to make sense of JRPG clothing. Seriously. Your head might explode.


 * If the Evil Forest was petrified as a result of our heroes destroying its hive mind, thus affecting the plant-derived spider-creatures along with the vines - why is Blank affected?
 * Evil Forest. It was trying to kill its killers, as evidenced by the fact that it was actively chasing them down even after getting mortally wounded.
 * So the Evil Forest suddenly had the ability to petrify its intruders as a sort of desperation attack after its hive mind was destroyed... or it always had that ability but nothing big enough to provoke a response came along.
 * I always took it as a side-effect of the forest dying. The "hive mind" was it's heart, more or less, and killing it killed the forest as a whole, which resulted in the super-petrification.
 * I always saw it as the forest releasing petrification spores after the hive mind was killed, the parts furthers from the heart were able to survive slightly longer and tried to stop them as the rest of the forest released spores upon it's deaths, petrifying anything caught in it's wake.


 * The chocobo-wrangler Moogle slaps an 8-item limit on your treasure-digging game because "I'll go out of business"... makes one wonder how many runaway chocobos he's been fielding up till then. What, do they each dig up a different set of Chocographs and unlock unknown colors like cheetah-prints or rainbow-colored Chocobos with the ability to run, like ten seconds backward and forward in time or scale only cliffs facing south or something?


 * In the first performance of 'I Want to be your Canary', who was going to play the role of Prince Schneider if Steiner never interfered? There's nobody left in Tantalus and Ruby obviously had the role of Princess Cornelia before Garnet jacked it...
 * It's not unheard of for actors to pull double-duty in a performance. Ruby could've played both. Or one of the other Tantalus members could've crossdressed (also not unheard of).
 * I was talking about Baku declaring Steiner as 'Prince Schneider' when he came out of the trapdoor. There's no other female roles in the story. Of course 'Prince Schneider' might have been an offscreen character the whole time, much like Romeo's first crush Rosaline in the original Romeo and Juliet.
 * My mistake, I misread that as "Princess Schneider" at first. It's been about a decade since I played the game.
 * Presumably, Prince Schneider is an offstage character normally, but Baku needed a reason for Steiner to be up there with out breaking character, so he blagged that he was Prince Schneider. Though, come to think of it, the names "Schneider" and "Steiner" are suspiciously similar. Hmmm...


 * I'm personally amazed that this wasn't brought up before, but I think it has to be said... How in God's name is the indirect love letter romantic in anyway possible? I'm not trying to kill the Steiner x Beatrix thing, but it's the way how they hook up. "Sexual Tension" what sexual tension?! There was like... TWO scenes where they talked about each other: Steiner not wanting to lose to Beatrix in finding the Princess at the opening scene, and Beatrix thinking Steiner was right to leave the kingdom(despite not knowing he was still a Queen-sucking toadie). There was no real buildup, but everywhere I look on TV Tropes, people think it's bloody romantic. It's not. It's stupid. A indriect love letter? Really? I mean, not to quote the Nostalgia Critic, but it's just like placing Shaq as Steel: just an excuse to hook up two people who didn't need to hook up.
 * People Ship, even when they don't have to.
 * HC Bailly is as incredulous as you are by the whole setup, dear troper. Me, I'm personally amazed that they became a couple in the first place. Beatrix lost her eye in a practice fight gotten out of hand with Steiner a few years before the main storyline begins. She then went on to surpass him in the ranks of the military. She was a prodigy. Steiner (presumably) worked his rusty ass off to get to where he was. I'd think he'd be a little bitter towards her for showing him up, and that she'd dislike him for losing her eye.


 * Exactly why did Gaia's assimilation by Terra not work out? I know the Ultimania says something like Garland being forced to merge with Gaia because he couldn't find a more suitable planet, but that seems to be directly contradicted by the scene in Memoria when Zidane, Steiner and Amarant see Gaia's birth. Gaia is a ball of flaming rock and magma, and Garland describes this as "Gaia's Birth". What made the newly born Gaia different from any other newly born planet? This is why I usually have trouble taking the Ultimanias seriously-sometimes they seem to directly contradict what we see in the game.


 * Another example of the Ultimania being directly contradicted by the game seems to be the arrival of the Ark. The Ultimania says that Terra's crystal was too weak to create eidolons, and yet we see that Ark is quite clearly an eidolon, and one that's associated with Terra. We first see it guarding the Gulug Stone in Terra, and it gives you a Pumice Piece when you beat it. When you combine it into the Pumice at the end of the game and summon it, we see that the Ark is a giant shapeshifting robot from Terra's red moon that brings massive death and destruction on anything it targets. It's obviously based on Terran myth-exactly what Gaian civilization would come up with something like that? So what gives with the Ark? I actually think this is the eidolon sighted near Esto Gaza that migrated to Oeilvert afterwards-there's no indication that the moles living in Mount Gulug had any inkling of how to use eidolons.
 * I direct you to this Plot Analysis on Game FAQs. It includes theories on various things, and refutes your statement that the Moles had no idea how to use Eidolons.
 * I've read that, and the guy theorizes that the place was just recently sealed and Kuja was planning to go there to steal an Eidolon from the Moles. Somehow I doubt that, when you consider that Hilda's apparently been there all that time in a fancy bedroom. It seems faintly absurd that Kuja would drag her along with him and set her up in those fancy digs all as part of his Eidolon ritual. Rather, I think that place was established by Kuja as a backup hideout, and he kept Hilda there. I don't even think the "Gulug Stone" was needed to get into Mount Gulug-from the description in the Key Items section, it's referred to as a "magic-controlling device whose technology is out of this world." I see it as a device with which Kuja hijacked the Invincible in Terra, whereas in Alexandria Garland was the one who hijacked it from him. Garland hid it Oeilvert with the antimagic field and the Ark to guard it. As to why it's called the "Gulug" Stone...well, the writers really could have put more thought into fixing some of these plot holes!
 * Then explain the Eidolon extracting circle in the bottom of the cavern. You're not going to tell me that Kuja set that up in advance, are you? Sorry, but that seems kind of far-fetched. Also, if you go to Esto Gaza prior to going to the Desert Palace, Mount Gulug is sealed, with no way in, with the same symbol as the Gulug Stone. You then see the same symbol throughout Terra. Once is an anomaly, twice is coincidence, thrice is a pattern. The triangle within a triangle is an important symbol of Terra. Why would Terra's symbol be on a door leading to the ruins of a Gaian civilization? I admit that Hilda is a bit of a plot hole, but Kuja seemed to think her a guest of his, rather than a prisoner. Perhaps, when he lost the Desert Palace, he magically stored her room somewhere, and then put it back into reality in Mount Gulug? You have to admit, he has the power to do that.
 * No problem. I think Kuja did in fact set up that eidolon-extracting circle at the bottom of the cavern, since he probably already set one up in the basement of Alexandria Castle. That first circle was used to extract Dagger's eidolons. The guy who wrote the FAQ said either that Kuja set it up or some part of a Terran building somehow appeared in the castle basement, something I find too ridiculous to even contemplate. It should also be remembered that, right before she summoned Odin to destroy Cleyra, Brahne mentions that now she's going to see if what Kuja said is true. That implies that Kuja is the one who first suggested using the eidolons to Brahne. It's worth remembering that Kuja is a master of Xanatos Speed Chess whenever some Spanner in the Works ruins his plots. He originally planned to use one of Dagger's eidolons to eventually enslave Alexander and use it to destroy Garland, but that fell apart when Garland hijacked the Invincible and destroyed Alexander instead. As a backup plan he lured Zidane to the Desert Palace to try and kidnap Eiko and use one of her eidolons using his backup hideout at Mount Gulug, but then Mog/Madeen ruined that part. Finally, he got the idea to let Zidane and company reopen the way to Terra, while he hijacked the Invincible with the Gulug Stone and absorbed the power of the souls trapped within it to reach a Trance form. His first two plans might have failed due to outside interference, but the third time was the charm...Oh, and as for why a Terran symbol is on the door to a Gaian civilization, I think Kuja himself set it up to keep any nosy adventurers or pilgrims from finding their way in. It's not the first time he's used Terran technology on Gaia, given that he manufactured the black mages based on the Terran process to develop the Genomes. When you're on the Cargo Ship, Zidane even muses about how unusual the technology in the lab of the Dali black mage factory was.
 * You're misinterpreting some things. For example, Kuja wasn't trying to use one of Dagger's eidolons to destroy Alexander. In fact, there's nothing to suggest he knew Alexander would be summoned. He planned to use the Invincible to enslave Alexander as it had enslaved Bahamut (whom BRAHNE had summoned at the time of its enslavement). Also, he acquired the Gulug Stone LONG before he got the idea to hijack the Invincible back from Garland, and use Brahne's soul to achieve Super Trance. Honestly, it's not hard to figure out WHY he got the Gulug stone. It was to open the way to Mount Gulug, nothing more. Kuja was more than capable of hijacking the Invincible while Garland was distracted by Zidane. As for the Black Mages, I don't deny that Kuja created the designs for them. Cid says in Disc 2 Lindblum that he supplied Brahne with weapons, including the Black Mages.
 * Sorry I'm so late in replying to this. I know that Kuja wasn't going to use Bahamut to destroy Alexander-he wanted to use Bahamut to force Alexander to appear, so he could enslave it with the Invincible. Kuja even expresses his pleasure at Alexander's strength and power, and talks about summoning a "magic carriage"-in other words, the Invincible-for it. That was half the reason Kuja attacked Alexandria, to force Alexander to be summoned. As for the Gulug Stone, its description in the Key Items section refers to it as a "magic-controlling device", but doesn't really say anything about it being a key. Since Garland overrode Kuja's control of the Invincible, it stands to reason that Kuja needed the Gulug Stone to prevent Garland from overriding him. Garland hid the Gulug Stone in Oeilvert where it would be almost impossible to retrieve (what with magic being useless and the powerful Ark eidolon there to guard it). Kuja needed to hijack the Invincible back from Garland from the very beginning, since he still would have needed it to control the eidolons that he was planning to use to murder Garland anyway.


 * Here's a minor issue. Most of the eidolons have reasonable attack names. Ifrit has Flames of Hell (lengthened from the traditional 'Hellfire', but still makes sense), Shiva has Diamond Dust, Ramuh has Judgement Bolt. These three are veteran FF summons. Then there are the two 'ultimate' summons: Ark and Madeen. Ark is the shadow-elemental eidolon, and its attack name is Eternal Darkness. Here's the problem: He blows the enemy up in a blinding explosion of light and energy. How is THAT shadow-elemental? Madeen, the holy-elemental eidolon, has the opposite problem. She traps the enemy in a web of holy energy, then implodes it on them. But the attack's name is Terra Homing. The original name for it was Terraforming (possibly a reference to how the ground shifts in the full-length summon animation), but still! What does that name have to do with the holy element? Can someone explain either of these to me?
 * For Ark, lasers mean shadow element to Square for some reason (see Chrono Trigger).


 * What ever happened to the Mist? It travelled from Terra to Gaia and the game says nothing about it after the Iifa tree went berserk.
 * First off, the Mist never came from Terra. Mist is a by-product of the Iifa Tree's process of taking in and containing the souls of the people of Gaia. The Iifa Tree spread the Mist through its roots (which reached all across the world), and it began pumping the Mist full-force when Kuja returned from Terra, enveloping the world in Mist. As for what happened to it, well, I personally believe that the Iifa Tree was in its death throes when it went after Zidane. In other words, its dead now, so the Mist would disappate again.