This Page Will Self-Destruct



"As always, should you or any of your IM force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim."

- Mission Briefing tape, Mission Impossible

Standard spy trope. After a spy receives a message, the last words state that whatever device the spy received the message on will self-destruct. Cue the agent stepping back as the device goes up in smoke and a shower of sparks. Can be Played for Laughs when the message is a simple letter. Upon reading the last line, the spy drops the paper, which bursts into flames or blows up.

This is true to some degree, as secret messages are often designed to be destroyed without a trace, though none of them use elaborate self-destruction for such purpose—usually, they depend on the message-receiver to destroy them. Stuff Blowing Up tends to attract attention, something good spies despise (and more importantly, they might need to look or listen more than once).

Often part of a Mission Briefing.

Anime and Manga
"Eggman: This message is brought to you by the Eggman Empire, even though we are not responsible for the content- except this part. (Boom!)"
 * The anime Sonic X parodies this trope. Every time Eggman sends a video message to Sonic and company, he claims that something completely random and weird will happen after it's finished, which the robot messenger Bokkun then has to fulfill, such as "after this message, there will be karate". The one time he did the traditional "This message will self-destruct" thing, the message was accidentally delivered to him instead of Sonic.
 * Knuckles once did this to Sonic in episode 5. The message actually explodes in Sonic's face.

"Well, that was a very impolite welcome."
 * Bokkun is also obsessed with bombs, which is why Sonic and Chris once jumped behind a couch when he came to deliver a message.


 * In Yatterman the Big Bad Dokurobee always sent to his henchmen some little robots, shaped accordingly to that episode's theme, which carried his messages and then self-destructed. This was only the first of many Non-Fatal Explosions happened to the villains throughout every episode.
 * In Sekirei, the CEO uses a robotic dummy to give a message at the end of the third match. The message ends with the dummy saying that it will self-destruct in ten seconds... But Homura, who hates the CEO, blows it up before the countdown even starts.
 * In A Certain Magical Index, Touma saves Index's life but is hospitalized with amnesia in the process. Stiyl asks the doctor to pass Touma a letter, but Index takes it. The letter is Stiyl grudgingly thanking Touma for saving Index, then the final line says the letter destroys itself shortly after being opened, and it crumbles to dust in Index's hands.
 * In the next story arc, when Stiyl conscripts Touma for the "Deep Blood" mission, he gives Touma the blueprints for the building and other info, but the papers crumble to dust before he can finish reading them.

Comic Books

 * Referenced in Asterix and the Secret Agent, where the parchment bursts into flames when the spy's done reading.
 * Mortadelo Y Filemon often plays with this trope, too, but the methods by which the message is destroyed are usually bizarre. For example, one recorded message states, "This message will be destroyed within five seconds," then proceeds to play a song which one of the main characters apparently hates, causing him to destroy the record (and the player) in a fit of rage.
 * Other examples: having Mortadelo burn a dynamite stick attache to the note - directly referencing "Mission: Impossible" - or making them eat the note.
 * Used in Gorsky and Butch during a Mission: Impossible spoof - a pair of glasses showed Butch the details of the mission, then self-destructed before he could take them off.
 * This happened in one issue of the Comic Book Adaptation of Woody Woodpecker when Woody was sent on a spy mission.

Film

 * Parodied The Incredibles (by video.) Mr. Incredible is in a rush to find a pencil to write down what it says before it self-destructs, it explodes in a small room and he opens the door to escape the smoke, setting the fire sprinklers off.
 * All four |Mission Impossible films follow the TV show in using this. One has a regular film tape, another self-destructing VR Ray-bans, the third a camera with a player inside. The fourth movie uses a self-parodying Mythology Gag: the fancy touchscreen with the mission description is hidden in an obsolete Moscow payphone, and doesn't explode on the first try.
 * Arguably, the gag is pushed further a bit later in the movie when
 * In Spy Hard, the hero left the self-destructing tape recorder in the helicopter he was flying in without thinking, and the pilot has a big Oh Crap moment when he hears the self-destruct message. It blows up the helicopter, killing the pilot- Mr. T.
 * Played around by Ernest in the beginning of Ernest in the Army.

Literature
"Tananda: Don Bruce isn't taking chances on any-one reading this, is he? Guido: That is the middle crux of the issue. Chumley: What was sealing the scroll? Tananda: Nasty Assassin's trick, Big Brother. You really wouldn't want to know the details. You'd call the results insalubrious or some other two-gold-piece word."
 * In Gotrek and Felix Skaven Slayer, Felix was asked if he had the letters a skaven sent him on his person. Felix, who had no real motive to lie about this, said he didn't on the grounds of the letters vanished in a puff of smoke 5 heart beats after he read them. Felix was either joking or being sarcastic (it's not explicit which, although considering it's Felix, it'd probably be sarcasm). Before Felix was able to add on he also isn't in the habit of carrying around a bunch of various random letters he received (when he was called to attend this meeting, Felix was not informed skaven would be a topic), the person he was talking to expressed amazement at the powerful skaven sorcery that must have been imbued in the letters.
 * In the Alex Rider books (once which parodies the practice; the item in question is a perfectly normal get-well-soon card).
 * In the Tom Clancy novel The Cardinal Of The Kremlin, the information from the titular spy would be typed up in the American Embassy on flash paper and inserted into a container which would ignite if anyone tried to mess with it. It was then transported by diplomatic pouch to the CIA headquarters where in the office of the Director it was disarmed. The Director would then photocopy it and get rid of the originals, since having flammable paper around is a hazard. It was mentioned that Directors felt this was overly dramatic... until the first time they saw how important the information was.
 * In the Discworld book Jingo, Sam Vimes receives a self-destructing note. Including an apology from Leonard of Quirm for not having better chemicals to do the job.
 * In Monstrous Regiment, the codebook is edible paper, allowing easy destruction in case of capture.
 * In Foundation series it was mentioned that Seldon's safe with vague holographic congratulations will play timed recordings when it's set up, and breaking into it will most likely lead to self-destruction.
 * Secret messages are commonly sent in "Personal Capsules" with biometric lock. Foundation also came to use medium that oxidizes upon exposure to air and completely disintegrates within a minute and half, later (in the second book) completely oxidizes to gas in a minute. Since the Empire wasn't as good at miniaturization at its best times, soon after the Foundation started its expansion the old version was not truly secure any more. In Foundation and Empire a merchant with modest (by Foundation standards) resources and some practice was confident he can burglarize an Imperial message capsule without signs of tampering, and mocked the Imperials who don't even use self-destructing medium.
 * Variant in Murder on the Orient Express: Hercule Poirot recovers writing on a burnt letter—by burning it again. The burnt ink burns before the burnt paper, and so for a few brief moments, the fragments of words are written in fire. Obviously, this method has to be done right the first time...
 * In a Phoenix Force novel the Five-Man Band leave a taped message for the people chasing them, which concludes: "Have you guys ever watched a show called Mission: Impossible?" Five seconds later the tape player explodes killing several of the bad guys.
 * In Jeffery Kooistra's Dykstra's War, the eponymous Dykstra receives a thumbprint-coded package that, if accessed by the wrong person, will explode with sufficient force to take out the whole building. Clearly one wants to be very careful about checking the address labels.
 * Bob receives a mission briefing like this in The Jennifer Morgue. Complications ensue when the briefing ends up self-destructing before he's actually finished reading it.
 * Boris is also annoyed, because his laptop is running the briefing, and when The Laundry say that something will self-destruct, they mean it.
 * Myth Adventures.


 * "Howlers" in the Harry Potter universe are magical letters of (usually...) reprimand that scream at you loud enough to rattle cutlery and shake dust from a high-ceilinged room... and when they are done they burst into flames. If not opened, they also burst into flames, and the insults are mangled. Obviously they are very humiliating to get.

Live Action TV
""This tape will self-destruct NOW!" "This message will turn into a bird and FLY AWAY!" "This tape will self-destruct... in two or three days. So use British Mail and make sure it goes nowhere!"
 * Of course, this was the way every Mission Briefing for Mission: Impossible was done. Sometimes they tried to get creative on exactly how the item self destructed. This show is pretty much the Ur Example of this trope. That being said, the early episodes didn't have this trope yet. The tape ended with "Please dispose of this message in the usual manner", upon which the addressee (Usually Briggs or Phelps) threw all the documents into a conveniently placed incinerator or other means to destroy the tape.
 * Parodied on Ghostbusters, where the title heroes got their secret messages from "Mr. Zero". The messages were hidden in improbable items (cream pies, a tuba, etc.) and would explode after the tape stopped.
 * There's a Michael Bentine BBC sketch, which he performed on TV and radio, about a spy who is ordered to memorise his orders and then destroy them. When he tries to burn them his contact warns him not to use a flame in case the enemy sees them, so he has no choice but to eat the document. He is then shown the plan of the enemy's rocket, and has to eat the plan. Finally he is shown a model of the rocket, which he is then ordered to destroy... (In the TV version the rocket was actually a rocket-shaped cake.) Finally he is ordered to "Repeat!".
 * Played for Laughs in more than one episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway??:

"Orion: "I Always Wanted to Say That.""
 * In addition, the "tapes" have been rewound or paused prior to detonation on some occasions.
 * Also played half-straight, half for laughs, in the MythBusters Heist Special. The gang gets the tape that self-destructs, and watches it go off.
 * On Alias, Sydney must meet up with her evil agent counterpart, as one has the parchment message and the other has the only liquid solution that will make it readable. They meet in a stadium flanked by snipers and both look at the message at the same time, but it starts to dissolve, so both have to read as much as they can and sprint back to their handlers to write it down before they forget.
 * On "Chuck", the mysterious Orion ends a message with this. The CD decomposes in Chuck's computer in a burst of steam.


 * The season 2 finale of Castle, A Deadly Game, features a simulated spy game that involves a secret message delivered by self-destructing pen.
 * Monty Python's Flying Circus has two explosions in the "Penguin on the television" sketch, the first of which fits the trope: A radio presenter ends his speech with "And now, Radio Four will explode." Cue the receiver exploding.

Newspaper Comics

 * In a Peanuts strip, when Linus' mother was putting notes in his school lunch, one such note ended, "This note will self-destruct in five seconds," and promptly vanished.

Tabletop RPG

 * An old Dungeons & Dragons spell "Magic Mouth". It records a short message and replays it later when pre-set conditions are met. And then vanishes.
 * In one of the official adventures for Paranoia, the team leader is given self-destructing (specifically, self-dissolving) mission orders. There are just two small problems. One, the mission orders will begin to self-destruct well before the character has time to finish reading. Two, if the character doesn't drop the orders the instant the GM hints at this, he will self-destruct right along with them. Three, the self-destruct isn't instant, and anyone the character touches before succumbing may, at the whim of the GM, join them in dissolving away.

Video Games

 * Parodied in Duke Nukem 3D's "It's Impossible" level, itself an extended parody of Mission: Impossible and other works of Spy Fiction. A tape recorder sitting on a desk in the building Duke's infiltrating can be activated by the player, proclaiming only "This tape will self-destruct.... in one second!". Cue a comically large explosion which destroys a sizeable chunk of the desk the tape recorder was on, and Duke Nukem himself if the player didn't get the hint in time to make a run for it.
 * A truly bizarre variant appears in The Short-Lived Adventures of Hobo Dan for MegaZeux: After the credits finish rolling, the game itself will self-destruct by way of overwriting itself with a dud file.
 * EVA's message to Snake at the end of Metal Gear Solid 3 self-destructs when he's done listening to it. Probably a homage to Mission: Impossible.
 * In Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, the mission pages for the Seven Treasures quest all self-destruct on being opened.
 * CABAL's secret message to Slavik when the latter is imprisoned by GDI. Justifed though as the "message" contained enough C-4 to blow up Slavik's cell door.
 * "The C-4 in this device will explode in 5 seconds"...3 seconds later...*boom*. Slavik should have noticed it then and there. Or maybe the countdown started at the beginning of the sentence.
 * Spoofed in City of Heroes: In your first contact mission with Twinshot, she'll ask you to identify yourself through a security terminal. You can try to tell her that your name is Inigo Montoya, but then she'll berate you for using a decades-old joke and threaten to blow up the terminal. (She doesn't actually do it, of course.)

Web Comics

 * Explosive Runes: Once Read Kaboom. Once tactic of Vaarsuvius to Belkar.

Western Animation

 * Parodied in Inspector Gadget, where Gadget's absentmindedness always leads to the message literally exploding in Chief Quimby's face (Non-Fatal Explosions, though), who can never quite remember why he keeps that guy on the payroll ("Why do I put up with him?").
 * The tradition even remains in the later series when Chief Quimby made a guest appearance.
 * The Spiritual Successor series Gadget Boy did this in at least a couple episodes.
 * Stan of American Dad once was given a message that he quickly destroyed himself by eating to impress his boss, but it turns out it destroys itself. He keeps his stride by joking that "at least it's better than my wife's cooking", but then laments that he'll be pooping blood for a while.
 * Spoofed in The Simpsons episode "The Trouble With Trillions", where the FBI agent is informed "This film will self destruct... if improperly stored".
 * The message was hidden in a photo booth, so spoofed again when Apu and Manjula walk in seconds later and we learn exactly why this trope exists in the first place.
 * Animaniacs riffs on this once with a self-destructing tape recorder, which as well as the message plays the Mission Impossible theme-for a "Mission Implausible" for which such drama is not really necessary. Wakko then eats the tape recorder, and has some indigestion.
 * One of the recurring sources of pain for The Chew Toy in Calling Cat-22, no matter how hard he tries to escape it.
 * In an episode of The Fairly OddParents, Timmy wishes his life were like an action movie. The next morning at breakfast, his dad slides a tape recorder across the table to tell his son to pass the butter before the obligatory "this message will self-destruct" line.
 * Kim Possible: Parodied in "Job Unfair", where Ron is so excited about getting a spy briefing like this, he fails to realize that the message is about to explode.
 * In the Israeli TV show MK 22, an Arab messenger tells a character something, and then says "This messenger will self destruct in three. Two. One." The guy pushes a button, explodes.
 * Used in an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants when Mr. Krabs commissions Spongebob and Patrick to spy on Plankton, giving them their mission via Krabby Patty... that, of course, explodes after the message.
 * Spoofed on The Penguins of Madagascar. "This recording will self-destruct... right now!", and then Rico appears out of nowhere and bashes the recorder with a baseball bat.
 * Used on the Danger Mouse episodes "The World Of Machines," "The Duel," and "The Odd Ball Runaround."

Real Life

 * During World War II, some codebooks would be printed on rice paper so they could be swallowed if necessary.
 * Codebooks on naval vessels used to be (maybe they still are) bound with lead covers so they could be thrown overboard in case the ship was in danger of being captured.
 * The German ENIGMA codebooks in WWII were printed in water soluble ink, so the operators could just pour their water bottles over them and destroy the data. This was particularly important when the Brits were trying to capture the U-boat settings.
 * The KGB sometimes used flash paper (paper made of nitrocellulose) instead of normal paper to print their one-time-only codes; after using them, the recipient burned the paper, and the nitrocellulose would burn instantly and without smoke or ash.
 * There is a material called "Dissolvo" paper which has been used for confidential documents (among other practical applications) for its quality that it completely dissolves in water.
 * Several companies have produced DVDs designed to deteriorate between 8 and 48 hours after being removed from their packaging, in a rather dramatic form of Copy Protection.
 * It's more like "making sure you return the rental on time". The disc actually used the same copy protection systems as their non-self-destructing counterparts and can be copied as long as you have software that can bypass said copy protection and as long as you get to the disc before it has self-destructed.
 * In 1992, William Gibson contributed to an art project entitled Agrippa (a book of the dead), which consisted of a poem encoded on a floppy disk that would erase itself after one reading, and engravings that would fade when exposed to light.
 * Many DRM systems are designed around destroying the document after the expiration date. Or at least making it inaccessible.
 * There are devices that can instantly destroy a hard disk, either by stabbing it with a spring-mounted nail or by bathing it in microwaves. They are self-contained and will work even if police cut off electricity from your office before storming in.
 * Even into the 1980s, computer rooms on military bases included low-tech versions of the same thing - specifically, hacksaws and sledgehammers - so that anyone storming the base wouldn't be able to read military secrets. (Current state-of-the-art is, of course, classified.)
 * Then there was one of Galileo's books, which was once printed in parchment and highly soluble ink, so if you were caught reading it you could just throw it at some river and nobody could prove anything. Presumably other heretical books would've gotten the same distribution.
 * As noted in the Self-Destruct Mechanism page, many arcade games between the 80s and 2000s deployed suicide batteries. The data on the ROM is encrypted, and thesuicide battery is wired up to protect the decryption key stored on volatile RAM. If the battery drains, the key is Lost Forever. However, arcade machines made after the 2000s employed time-bombed dongles and expiry dates hardcoded into the game itself.

This trope will self-destruct in five seconds.