Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide/Headscratchers


 * The cat-and-mouse relationship between Crubbs and Gordy makes no sense. The public school system DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! The assistant principal is in charge of student discipline; personnel matters are handled on the district level. Sure, they might not like each other, but it would be Somebody Elses Problem.
 * Gordy must have George Jetson Job Security.
 * Not exactly- the main point is that Crubbs keeps saying "You're fired" to Gordy who takes it seriously, but in Real Life Crubbs wouldn't have the power to fire him, just lodge a complaint with the district Head of Physical Plant. Who would just as likely dismiss Crubbs as a complaining crank.
 * Which is the reason why Gordy is never actually fired.
 * Does Gordy actually know that Crubbs can't fire him though, though? And does it really matter who is responsible for the final decision? Even if Gordy doesn't report directly to Crubbs, the assistant principal would probably have more influence with Gordy's boss than the janitor who is shown to never clean anything.
 * Then you run into Informed Ability issues; Gordy's shown to be lazy, but the school is clean unless Rule of Funny requires otherwise.
 * Pay more attention to Gordy's catchphrase, the night guy handles that.
 * Overall cleanliness of the school IS the job of the night janitors, unless the day crew's contracts specify they clean up major messes during the day but must have the whole place spotless before they can leave for the day. This Troper never saw a janitor doing general cleaning during the day in his middle school OR high school, and both schools had a STAFF of janitors.

"Gordy: But you had no heartbeat!
 * In Guide to: The First Day, they make a BIG deal about Cookie sweating himself half to death in his puffy coat. Loomer's wearing his leather jacket and doesn't seem the slightest bit uncomfortable. Any ideas other than Rule of Cool meets Hollywood Dress Code?
 * Perhaps the puffy coat is significantly thicker than Loomer's leather jacket. Though the first day of school where this troper lives would be too hot for anything but a short sleeved shirt and shorts.
 * Also, some people are just less sensitive than others. Perhaps Loomer wasn't bothered by the heat.
 * In the "Halloween" episode, after Ned, Cookie, Moze, Crubbs and Gordy have been trying to keep people from finding out that the haunted house the constructed may have caused Principal Pal to be scared to death (literally.) At the end, it turns out the whole thing was a practical joke and Pal was only faking it, much to the astonishment of his would-be killers:

Pal: I have metal plates around my heart.

Gordy: But you had no pulse!

Pal: I have no pulse!"


 * So, how is that possible? How the Hell does a guy go through life without a pulse? How would his blood circulate? A friend of mine suggested that his blood just flows naturally, and doesn't need to be pumped, and as a result he has no pulse, but went on to point out that that isn't possible.
 * I took it as meaning he does have a pulse, but his blood pressure is dangerously low, so someone without training couldn't find it.
 * Is it possible for you to go on living with blood pressure so low that it's impossible for someone to hear your pulse? (Not being sarcastic, seriously asking...)
 * Yes, if the someones who can't feel your pulse are the world's most apathetic janitor, a twelve-year-old kid, and a vice principal who doesn't understand his own job let alone the points of first aid that are rarely shown correctly on Miami Vice.
 * My vampire characters can disable their pulse by circulating their blood to a secondary set of veins. Maybe Pal's a vampire.
 * Anyone improperly trained (like a lazy janitor or twelve year old kids) wouldn't be able to find a pulse properly. This Troper has trouble finding his own pulse, and I'm an Eagle Scout (although the First Aid merit badge is far from certification)! A vice principal should, in theory, have proper training, but maybe its different wherever the show takes place.
 * And no one thought of Rule of Funny?
 * This "Rule of Funny" of which you speak has no place here! Begone with you, oh destructor of deconstructions of incredibly lame jokes!
 * Perhaps Pal has a Ventricular Assist Device, or VAD, to assist his heart. Sometimes those things make it so that you have no pulse.
 * Why couldn't Ned have just said "Whoa, hey, sorry about that, I'd actually like to study date with you." to Suzie?
 * Rule of Funny. If he and Suzie got together scott free, then a majority of the episodes would be altered. Besides, he's made it clear he's not the kind of person to walk up and do that.