Immediate Self Contradiction

"This isn't a game, you know. Alright, now these games will determine which of you has the most important qualities I'm looking for..."

- Rainbow Dash, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic

This is for when a character says something clearly contradictory, if not completely opposite, to what they literally said right beforehand.

May sometimes happen in the context of a Hurricane of Excuses. When a contradiction seems immediate to the viewer but is not immediate in in-universe time, that would be a Gilligan Cut.

Anime and Manga

 * In the dub of Bobobobo Bobobo, Bobobo explains to the wealth-obsessed villain Halekulani that there are things more important than money. Like money!

Film
"Chas Kramer: Can you please get me into this bar, John, please? I'm begging you, John, please? Constantine: Sure, you can get in. Chas Kramer: I can get in? Constantine: If you can get in."
 * Monsters vs. Aliens:"I come in peace; you are all going to die".
 * The Gene Wilder Willy Wonka movie. He had several occasions of saying something, then stopping, and exclaiming, "Strike that! Reverse it!"
 * Constantine. Chas Kramer has been bugging the title character about being able to get into Papa Midnite's bar for some time.

Literature

 * Peter Pan, in the book: "That's not why I was crying! And besides, I wasn't crying."

Live-Action TV
"Lily: You weren't mugged by a monkey? Marshall: Yes, I was! Robin: So you were mugged by a monkey. Marshall: No, I wasn't!"
 * In Doctor Who, the Doctor gives explanations for various things, only to immediately say that the explanation is wrong, since a lot of the time, he doesn't seem to have an answer or he thinks his companions need it dumbed down for them.
 * In the How I Met Your Mother episode "Zoo or False" Marshall sumultaneously claims that he was and was not "mugged" by a monkey in the Central Park zoo. He was mugged by a person but he says it was a monkey in order for Lily to not want to get a gun, then feels guilty when he learns that the monkey he has accused is going to be deported.


 * In another episode, Barney says that it's impossible for a man wearing overalls to seduce a woman. He then vows to do exactly that.
 * In the British show All Creatures Great and Small, Siegfried is often guilty of telling his employees to do something, then at some point negating what he just said.

Music

 * Star Trekkin by The Firm, Captain Kirk's line is "We Come in Peace Shoot To Kill."

Newspaper Comics

 * In this Dilbert strip, the Pointy-Haired Boss goes right from an optimistic forecast of company profits to an explanation that the company can't afford to give out raises this year.
 * The page image from Calvin and Hobbes comes from this strip.

Theater

 * Willy Loman, near-continually, in Death of a Salesman.

Video Games
"Slowbeef: Like right there! I mean, come on! Diabetus: Oh man, my backspace key doesn't work, but I gotta keep writing my narrative!"
 * The Flash game series Arise has, in the very first game, this wonderful claim left in a book for the player to read: "This is not a joke, and it's not a test. I put you in this shack to test you." Retsupurae called the authors out on this:

"Librarian: "All of the information is there, except for the information that isn't there!""
 * Earthbound has the Onett librarian offering you a map.

Web Comics

 * Xkcd: In Future Timeline, the predictions for the year 2090 include "global warming hits 7 degrees centigrade" and "global warming hits 4 degrees centigrade".

Western Animation
"The fortune isn't important, boy, what's important to me is that you're safe. Now let's go get that fortune!"
 * The above quoted example from My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic episode "May the Best Pet Win!".
 * The Simpsons has the following from Abe Simpsons in "Curse Of The Flying Hellfish".

"My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is not a porn star!"
 * Another Abe example from "Simpson Tide":

"Jimmy: Mr. McClure? I have a crazy friend who says its wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy? Troy McClure: (laughs) No, Jimmy, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend hasn't heard of the food chain."
 * From a PSA in "Lisa the Vegetarian":

"Fry: Controversial? Farnsworth: Oh my, no!"
 * From Futurama, Professor Farnsworth continually does this. Eg: "You're going to be going on a highly controversial mission!"

"Morbo: Are you ready to play? Fry: I didn't come here to play, I came to win. Now let's play."
 * Another Futurama example, from "The Duh-Vinci Code":

Real Life
"Lawyer: You can't lift your arm any longer due to the injury, correct? Defendant (suing his company for a job-related injury): Yes. Lawyer: How high can you raise your arm right now? (Defendant, wincing, raises his arm to shoulder level.) Lawyer: And how high could you raise your arm before the accident? Defendant: (eagerly raising his arm above his head) This high! Judge: Case dismissed."
 * Supposed actual court testimony that's floated around for a good while: