A Very Muppets Mystery



"STATLER: Hi, and welcome to A VERY MUPPETS MYSTERY!"

"WALDORF: I know you'd love to get rid of us, but I'm afraid you're stuck here."

"STATLER: Why, I'll bet you're just GLUED TO YOUR SEATS!"

". . . . . . . . ."

"WALDORF: That must be pretty powerful glue you used, Statler. They haven't gotten up."

"STATLER: Well, this is a Muppets story you've never seen the likes of before."

"WALDORF: ...And with luck, you'll never see the likes of again."

"STATLER: It's a MYSTERY!"

"WALDORF: Well, I hope it's nothing like that awful THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER. We only showed up three times in the entire movie!"

"STATLER: There's only one thing I'm worried about..."

"WALDORF: What's that?"

"STATLER: Well, I...I've never heckled a MYSTERY before. I don't know how I should go about it!"

"WALDORF: What do you mean you've never heckled a mystery before? You always said it was a MYSTERY why anyone thought THE MUPPET SHOW was funny!"

"STATLER AND WALDORF: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

A Very Muppets Mystery is a fanfic by The Illustrious Crackpot. It's about an OC named Phyllis Pepper, who's a detective, trying to solve a murder. Here's the full summary:

"Phyllis Pepper is the only human in an all Muppet town. But will things spice up when Fozzie brings her a case that leads swiftly to Muppet homicide? An insanely long and ridiculously complicated mystery."

== The fanfic


 * Amateur Sleuth: Averted with Phyllis, since she has no connection with the police and is a young "works alone" detective, but she sometimes gets paid.
 * Chekhov's Gun: Earlier on, when Phyllis first calls Alice in Chapter 2, she mentions having to wait for a eight foot tall, brown furred guy to finish talking to his mother.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Phyllis and, of course, Statler and Waldorf.
 * Everyone Is a Suspect: All of the theatre cast and crew could easily have killed
 * Fair Play Whodunnit
 * Hidden in Plain Sight:  Also
 * Hidden Villain:
 * Important Character, Important Evidence: Fozzie, Kermit and Phyllis always find the important evidence.
 * Mistaken for Evidence: Phyllis thinks Kermit has found something important, but it turns out...
 * Running Gag: "All big time performers and acts start out as simple sideshow acts and performers."