Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking/Western Animation



"I am happy to see her, but Blackfire rules the video games, and she is able to share very depressing poems, and she knows the cool moves, and she always knows when people are not talking about shovels."
 * In the Codename: Kids Next Door/The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy crossover, Billy's dad Harold says his lucky pants are immune to lasers, supernatural energy, and mustard.
 * In an episode of the New Woody Woodpecker Show, Woody's car stalls near a conveniently placed bowling alley in the desert, run by none other than Buzz Buzzard, who offers a prize to who can beat him. Of course, being Buzz Buzzard who he is, he rigs the match completely so that he'll end up winning with a 300 score to keep with his reputation as "Champion" of the place. Turns out that, after he flees, Woody finds out his long list of offenses to the law, which includes "unlawful toenail clipping". But there's more: upon seeing this, he immediately calls the police on the phone and starts listing his offenses, to which the cop pays no mind whatsoever. Only when he mentions: "but Officer, he parked in a no-parking zone!" do the cops decide to flock in on him and arrest him (he was trying to escape in Woody's stalled car).
 * An episode of Teen Titans has Robin and Cyborg getting angry and insulting each other. Cyborg's is: "You're rude, bossy, and you have no taste in music!"
 * There's also Killer Moth's ultimatum to the city, which is that he'll unleash his army of mutant moth monsters if they don't declare him ruler, and the Teen Titans surrender. And Robin takes this lovely young woman (his extremely spoiled daughter) to the prom.
 * While phrased in a humorous manner, Starfire's first three reasons for why she feels left out when her sister visits are understandable.

"Farnsworth: And here's my workbench, and over there is my intergalactic spaceship, and here's where I keep my many lengths of wire."
 * It happens frequently in Futurama as well, when Professor Farnsworth shows Fry and the gang his place:


 * Also:

"Police officer: "You're under arrest for child cruelty, child endangerment, depriving children of food, selling children as food and misrepresenting the weight of livestock.""


 * Of course, earlier in the episode we see Bender weighing a child and relating the information to a Chinese restaurant owner.
 * While Farnsworth is listing off a bunch of secrets about his colleagues, he implies that they are guilty of manslaughter, starting a "Pool Boys Studies" class just to sleep with the students, and wearing a Dodgy Toupee. And then there's what Ogden Wernstrom did:

"Farnsworth: And Wernstrom! Werrrrrnstrom!"


 * Describing the were-car, Calculon explains that it was made from parts of all of history's most evil cars, including parts of Hitler's car, Charles Manson's Volkswagen, and "that car that played Knight Rider".

"Fry: Knight Rider wasn't evil. Calculon: Its windshield wipers were. It didn't come up in the show."


 * Funnier in the Italian version, where The Love Bug was used in place of Knight Rider.

"Fry: "It was "The All-crazed Beetle", but it wasn't psychotic!""


 * From the ending of "The Farnsworth Parabox":

"Farnsworth: Everything that was, is, and ever will be is contained within this box, and the actual box is probably worth something as well."


 * In The Silence of the Clamps, when Bender and the Donbot's daughter Bella witness Clamps maul Calculon after being intimate:

"Bella: Yeah, Daddy hates welchers. The only thing he hates more is witnesses. [Bender looks horrified.] Bella:...and guys who mess around with his daughters. [Bender looks even more horrified.] Bella:...and people who attempt to duplicate his meatball recipe. [Bender opens his chest cabinet and takes out a pan of steaming hot meatballs and looks even more horrified.]""


 * Lrrr to Zapp Brannigan in "The Problem with Popplers":

"Lrrr: "Stop eating our young! And it's pronounced guacamole!""


 * Of course, Family Guy had to get in on the action, too. In the season one episode where Meg inadvertently joins a cult the same day Lois tries to have a birthday party for Stewie, the girl mixing the punch mixes in cyanide, arsenic, rat poison, and a copy of Paul Reiser's book Couplehood.
 * Peter bemoaning the sudden popularity of Joe:

"Peter: Geez, first he takes my friends, then he takes my job! [stops] But the way I wear my hat? No, he can't take that from me..."


 * When Brian prevents 9/11 from happening, Stewie fears that Sadam Hussein could be president, Mexico could be the world's dominant super power, or that Cookie Monster could have invented Facebook.

"Squidward: And he replaced his hand with a rusty spatula. And then, he got hit by a bus! And... at his funeral, they fired him!"
 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * In "Graveyard shift, when Squidward tells the story of the Hash-Slinging Slasher, who accidentally cut off his own hand:


 * There was also the scene where the Flying Dutchman, trying to be scary again, haunts Squidward with a series of freakish nightmares, including his own mother asking why he hasn't called her and then melting, and a giant SpongeBob dissolving into a pile of spiders. The scene ends with the Flying Dutchman doing the old severed finger magic trick, to which Squidward screams "No! Noooo! That's impossible!" and runs away terrified.
 * In "No Free Rides", Mrs. Puff steals SpongeBob's newly-gifted boatmobile, and they go through three road signs. One said "Giant Clams", but SpongeBob went through it anyway. The next one said "Cheese Graters", and he survived through the giant cheese graters. But he seemingly gave up once they reached ...

"SpongeBob: "Educational television?!" OH, NO!!!"


 * In "Once Bitten", a concerned Squidward, after having just been bitten by Gary, asks SpongeBob whether Gary had all of his shots in order. The shots he lists are "rabies, snailpox, soft shell dance, bagitis, lumpy bump trump, and teen angst".
 * In Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm, SpongeBob describes the Alaskan Bull Worm as "Big, Scary, and Pink."
 * In "Life of Crime":

"Patrick: Confess!? Are you out of your mind!? Do you have any idea what they do to people like us? We’re not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or a hijacking here! WE STOLE A BALLOON! And they're gonna lock us up forever!"

"Coop: All right you intergalactic snots! You busted up my car show! Jamie: Yeah! Coop: You wrecked my friends' rides! Jamie: Yeah! Coop: AND! You made me run half a block! Jamie: Ye... half a block? Coop: Now, it's payback time!"
 * Coop of Megas XLR was fond of this method. Once an Episode, he'd confront the Monster of the Week, and deliver a long monologue with the following format:

"Coop: Alright you freaking robotic conqueror wannabe. You scratched my paint job, broke my mirrors, and snapped my favorite key. Space Bigfoot: Ahem. Coop: Oh, right, and you also tried to carve up the planet of the Space Bigfoots."
 * A favorite:

"Coop: Sorry, force of habit."
 * Often things were included in the list that weren't the villain's fault, usually things Coop himself had caused. Once, all of them were Coop's fault, and none of them were even slightly related to the villain at all, the time Megas got towed and he had to wait hours at the DMV to renew his driver's license to get it back.
 * Coop lampshades this in an episode where he's yelling this at the Glorft leader who is actually on his side:

"Archibald: Wait! What happens next? Larry: Um... Archibald: Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebu successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebu sad? Is the canoe wood...or aluminum?"
 * Interesting note: that latter actually happened during the Crimean War, where the elderly Lord Raglan would repeatedly call the enemies "the French", despite the fact that the French were now on his side and they were fighting the Russians.
 * The election episode of The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius double-subverts it. Ms. Fowl lists off the candidates' transgressions as "Bribery, blackmail, and murder", then corrects herself that the last wasn't actually murder, but operating a zeppelin on school property without a permit.
 * In the episode "Grumpy Old Men," the boys want to buy a violent video game that has a Media Classifications describing it as "for mature players only due to violence, exaggerated mayhem, and old lady kicking."
 * Many Western-themed Looney Tunes shorts had wanted posters with the outlaw's offenses listed as "bank robbery, cattle rustling, and square-dance calling." Adding to that, another poster listed the third crime as square dancing in a roundhouse.
 * Drip-Along Daffy: Nasty Canasta's wanted poster said "Rustler, bandit, square-dance caller".
 * Possibly inspired by this, the 'Wanted Poster With Your Face On It' souvenir available at Legoland's 'Western' section features a long list of crimes ending with "..bank robbery, cattle rustling, horse theft, and kicking little old ladies in the knee."
 * Also used in the Looney Tunes classic "What's Opera, Doc?", when Elmer uses his Magic Helmet to attack Bugs Bunny with "Typhoons! Hurricanes! Earthquakes! SMOG!!"
 * To be fair, smog is quite toxic.
 * The Earth King in Avatar: The Last Airbender when the Gaang break into the palace, and then are caught by the guards, says "You invade my palace, lay waste to all my guards, break down my fancy door, and you expect me to trust you?"
 * According to the DVD commentary he really loved the fancy door.
 * In "The King of Omashu", the Gaang is brought before the eponymous King for 'vandalism, traveling under false pretenses and malicious destruction of cabbages.'
 * Well, the cabbages would have been food for people, and could have been traded to other towns to bring money in.
 * From Veggie Tales, there's this exchange at the ending (or lack thereof) of "The Song Of The Cebu":

"Bank Teller: Was Femme Fatale looking out for me when she stole from my bank? Policewoman: Was she looking out for me when she broke my arm? Teenager: Was she looking out for me when she stole my hairstyle? (everyone glares at her) Well, she did!"
 * And in another episode, the Babylonian priests' song where they're plotting against Daniel. In between proposing to have him thrown in jail or eaten by a crocodile, one of them comes up with the idea to give him jelly donuts and then take them away.
 * An episode of The Powerpuff Girls involved a Straw Feminist villain named Femme Fatale avoiding capture by the girls by claiming to be commiting crimes in the name of women's rights. To counter this, Ms. Bellum and Ms. Keane gathered several female Townsville residents to talk to the girls:

"Plasmius: "Taking my map, destroying my satellite, mocking my mental health... it's time I finished off Danny Phantom once and for all!""
 * Another episode shows Mojo Jojo robbing a bank, a jewelry shop and... a DVD store.
 * The Grand Finale of Danny Phantom, after Danny steals the Infi Map back from Plasmius and tells him he seriously needs therapy.

"Danny: Plagues, pestilence, boy bands, man this is one evil box."
 * In one episode, Mr. Lancer says he hates Halloween because of the kids keying cars, egging houses, and bobbing for apples.
 * And in "Boxed-Up Fury", when Danny is reading about the contents of Pandora's Box:

"Jack: Skipping school, stealing and wrecking the Spectre Speeder... Mr. Lancer: Calling me "OLD MAN"..."
 * What Danny, Sam, and Tucker are in "a world of trouble" for near the end of "Kindred Spirits":

"Yzma: Kronk! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey! Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa now. Yzma: A really, really big, stupid monkey named Kronk! Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch. Yzma: And do you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs. Never! Kronk's Shoulder Devil: That's it. (cocks his pitchfork like a gun) She's going down."
 * The Emperors New Groove combines this with I Take Offense to That Last One, with the trivial item being the one that causes Kronk's Heel Face Turn:

"Red Tornado: Felony robbery. Parole violations. Felony assault. Jaywalking. Batman: "Not NOW, Tornado!""
 * Justified Trope in that Kronk's cooking skills are the one thing he truly prides himself on.
 * As we learn in the sequel, Kronk had always dreamed of being a cook, but his father had mocked his ambition, making little Kronk cry.
 * When Stitch's destructive programming attempts to assert itself, his Mad Scientist creator Jumba gloats that "he will be irresistibly drawn to big cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everybody's left shoe."
 * Invoked by Red Tornado as he reeled off a list of a villain's crime in Batman: The Brave And The Bold.


 * In one episode, there's a Montage of the various things Superman did when he was affected by the Red Kryptonite: causes a storm at a beach, severely damaging a bridge by tying it together like shoelaces, and put a cat on a tree.

"Stan: This is for delaying my promotion! This is for disrespecting my daughter! And this is for not letting me stop at the creek for a drink!"
 * In an episode of American Dad, Bullocks to Stan, when Stan fights his boss Avery Bullock:

"Egyptian Guy: Beware! Beware ignorant fools! To open the sacred burial chamber of Khufu is to invite a plague of misery upon humanity: fire shall rain down from the sky, locusts shall devour crops, the Olsen Twins... will make more movies. [Pinky and Brain gasp in horror]"
 * In the episode "You Debt Your Life" Roger is about to get hit by a bus and he thinks back to the bad things he's done which included protesting the integration of a University, sinking the Exxon Valdez tanker, and creating Jar Jar Binks.
 * To be fair, creating Jar Jar Binks is a pretty bad crime in itself.
 * In "My Morning Straitjacket", Stan claims that rock music is the number one cause of teen pregnancy, school violence and leather pants.
 * On Drawn Together, Ling Ling's father says that Ling Ling dishonours the family name of Hitler Bin Laden Seacrest.
 * Also, Wooldoor finding out that Clara is keeping him sick with drain cleaner, cyanide, and Gerber's Apple/Banana sauce.
 * Glowface's minions in an episode of The Xs are the Scream Queens, Sasquatch, the McVampires, Missing Link, Bio-Harold and Some Old Guy (who asks "Is this the nickel store?").
 * Uncle Ruckus, a main character on The Boondocks, is a black man who hates black people and everything to do with them. He has stated that black people were better off with slavery and Jim Crow laws, and many other outrageous statements, despite his own skin color. His three favorite movies? Birth of a Nation, Gone With the Wind, and Notting Hill.
 * When trying to exorcise Mr. Stinkmeaner out of Tom, Ruckus brings several items "guaranteed" to scare the ghost out of him: a whip, a branding iron, a noose, a night stick, and a job application.
 * In an episode of Pinky and The Brain, the main characters are in Egypt observing an archeological expedition in the Great Pyramid of Giza for Brain's latest scheme. Suddenly, a creepy Egyptian guy walks in on the archeologists:


 * In "The Pink Candidate", Brain was found guilty of "sedition, abuse of power and shoplifting".

""Driving without a license, lying on a job application, destruction of private property, destruction of PUBLIC property, illegal use of toilet plungers, AND calling me a heifer! I mean, HONESTLY, Bloo, what do you have to say for yourself?!"
 * Bounty Hamster. "You stand accused of breaking the Prime Directive, 16000 speed limits, and a really nice vase!"
 * On another occasion a bounty hunter arrests a criminal wanted for "12 robberies, 300 counts of dangerous flying, and dropping an ice cream truck into an active volcano."
 * In Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Buck lists off the rules if the heroes want him to help them: "Rule 1: Do whatever Buck says. Rule 2: Stay on the middle of the track.... Rule 3... He who has gas walks at the back."
 * The Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends episode "Bus the Two of Us" is about Bloo taking Mac for a joyride in the Foster's bus without Frankie's knowledge. They try to make it back as fast as possible without Frankie finding out. Needless to say, hilarity, and, this being Bloo, major lawbreaking, ensue. Unfortunately, Frankie sees the multiple police cars that followed them home. Over the end credits, she delivers her fury unto him with the following list of all the crimes he committed in the day:

""I'm all alone! Adrift at sea! Without breakfast!""
 * On one episode of Total Drama Island, a monsoon hits Wawanakwa, and the inevitable flood washes the campers away. Owen, who's been in the confessional outhouse, finds said outhouse floating in the lake and delivers this gem:

""Name: Tork. Wanted in all fifty sectors on numerous counts of: Armed robbery. Extortion. Smuggling. Unpaid parking tickets..." "It's a list of evil things Zurg plans to do: Sabotage our fleet. Bust out all the prisoners from PC-7! And steal my newspaper." "Ooh! Messieur XR! You scoundrel! You skeeped out of your bill, enraged the chambermaid and stole our last blueberry bathrobe.""
 * From Buzz Lightyear of Star Command:

"Rex-1: You are charged for disturbing the peace... Fat crook: Put us down, you hunk of tin! Rex-1: ...resisting arrest... Thin crook: You ain't never gettin' away with this! Rex-1: ...and using a double negative."
 * In an episode of the Animated Adaptation of Fraggle Rock, Gobo is exploring a cave and sees a sign warning him of a monster that lives there, that will "Bite your head off, stomp you till you're flat as a flapjack, and kick you into a bottomless pit from which you'll never return. And then, it will call you names."
 * In an episode of 3-2-1 Penguins! a villain is introduced by all of his horrible personality traits: he's rude, he's dishonest, etc. He ends by admitting (unashamedly), "And I don't always floss!"
 * From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
 * In the 1987 series, in the episode "New York's Shiniest", robot policeman Rex-1 apprehends two crooks:


 * In the crossover movie, Turtles Forever, the 2003 Turtles explain exactly how bad their Shredder is to their 1987 counterparts:

"Leonardo: You don't understand. The Utrom Shredder isn't like your Shredder. He's vicious... Donatello: Lethal... Michaelangelo: COMPETENT!"


 * The Fight for the Fox Box has Michelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles say this in response to hearing that the FOX Box has been knocked off the air: "We've fought evil ninjas, evil robots, evil monsters... but cancelling my Saturday Morning Cartoons?! That's the evillest evil ever!"
 * In "The Maltese Hamster", a mobster uses a tractor beam device given to him by Shredder to find the eponymous Hamster. Its settings include Toys, Home Furnishings, Men's Underwear, and Antiques.

"It's Cleveland's fault! He made me break my leg! And ate all my fish sticks and tater tots! And he sat in my chair! And he called me the 'N' word! Cleveland: I'm allowed to, right?"
 * The Cleveland Show:

"Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F word? Sheila Broflovski: Did he say the S word? Mr. Mackey: Young man, did you just say the Q word?"
 * In one Dudley Do-Right episode, the eponymous character tries to get kicked out of the Mounted Police so that he can infiltrate Snidley Whiplash's gang, but everything goes wrong, from "You blew up the dam! The irrigation problem has been solved!" to "You burned down that building! We had been trying to tear it down for years and never got around to it!". He finally does manage to get in trouble, though..., something no Mountie should ever do!
 * South Park: This trope is probably why "and she has stupid hair" is one of the funniest lines in the "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" song.
 * In "Freak Strike," Cartman in his out-of-control persona claims to belong to twelve gangs that only commit hate crimes; to have run for Congress, won, then had sex with an intern, killed her, and hid the body; and to have digitally edited Jabba the Hutt into Star Wars.
 * In The Movie's trailer, we get this funny bit:

"TSA employee: Security Breeeeeeech!"
 * In “Reverse Cowgirl”, the security guy watches the cameras of people’s bathroom as they go in their toilets. Being a pervert, he finds Cartman in his, who takes a baby and a female TSA agent hostage with a gun. You think that would raise alarms, but the guy keeps masturbating until Cartman spray the camera with, BLACK PAINT promoting this…

"I will give you diamonds, furs, ermine. I will even give you a new set of white sidewall tires."
 * In the Bravestarr episode "The Witnesses", the list of convictions for Slugworth Moody reads: "5 convictions: Armed Robbery; 3 convictions: Space Piracy; 1 conviction: Illegal Parking".
 * In an episode of Top Cat where Officer Dibble has been replaced by another, even more strict, cop, T.C. convinced said cop that city's mayor is Cha-cha Charlie, a gangster wanted by police for extortion, smuggling and leading a dance school without permission.
 * In Red Hot Riding Hood, the wolf offers Red the following if she would just go with him:

"Static: Let's see, so far I have you down for robbery, vandalism, and excessive cruelty to produce."
 * Red Hot Riding Hood came out in 1943, or, in other words, during World War II. Rubber was one of the several substances that were rationed as part of the war effort. It still fits the trope, but it's not quite as incongruous as it seems today.
 * Used in the Static Shock episode "The Big Leagues", when Static apprehends Ferret:

"Roy: Wade's confessing his crimes. Orson: What crimes? Roy: So far, the sinking of the Titanic, the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, the Spanish American War, and last season's NBC fall schuedule."
 * Knowing Static, he may have done that on purpose.
 * Garfield and Friends did this a few times, especially in the U.S. Acres shorts. Usually, the last thing mentioned was the lineup/schedule of a rival TV network (the show aired on CBS).

"Garfield: Like Benny "The Celery Stalk" Burlap, wanted for embezzlement, armed robbery, and buying a leisure suit after 1971. Garfield: Or Sam "The Spatula" Schmidlap, wanted for gambling, smuggling, and having one of those "Baby on Board" signs in his car windows."
 * Garfield also made a few pointed comments in "The Garfield Crime Files: Canine Conspiracy" about acts that should be considered criminal.

"Garfield: Don't ever ask anyone to hit you over the head with a baseball bat. Garfield: Don't ever ask anyone to drop a ten-ton safe on you. Garfield: And especially don't ever sign a contract with an agent who dresses like that. That's really dangerous."
 * And again, in "Arbuckle the Invincible":

"Tourist: The service here stinks."
 * In The Fairly OddParents episode "Bad Heir Day", Mr. Crocker wants the following for his birthday-"Number 1. To make 'em pay! Number 2. To show 'em all! Number 3...a Jet Ski!"
 * Also in "Emotion Commotion", Timmy had to dive through a lagoon with jagged rocks, alligators, piranhas, a whirlpool, a tornado and one really angry tourist.

"Mr. Turner: You dented a 747, destroyed Mr. Joel's glass house, and worse, Dinkleberg won my plaque!"
 * Also, in ""Channel Chasers", Mr. Turner scolds his son;

"Aladdin: Jasmine, I think you are... Genie: Magnificent! Glorious! (beat) Punctual!"
 * Also in "Where's Wanda?", Timmy fishes up his dad, who wants to be a suspect. The end is taken literally. He stole cable, he ripped the tags off of mattresses, and he jaywalked.
 * Aladdin: The Genie is giving his master (Aladdin) some tips on wooing Princess Jasmine.

"Genie: (Pretending to be a pirate) If she dares cross our path we'll keelhaul her! We'll lash her to the mizzenmast! We'll...make fun of her hairdo."
 * Also from the animated series

"Dale: I, too, am on more lists than I care to mention... the CIA, the FBI, L.L. Bean..."
 * On King of the Hill, after Ladybird is put on the state's vicious-dogs list:

"Hank: Dad, it's your fault I was born in New York, that I can't drive my truck anymore, and that I tried a bagel and actually liked it!"
 * When Hank finds out about his birth place in "Yankee Hankie", Hank tells his father Cotton:

"Grandpa: I could drop dead in that heat, or those maneating sharks could get me or my deoderant could give out."
 * In Hey Arnold! on the night before Arnold's Grandpa enters a big race.

"Angelica: Mountains crumbled, rivers overflowed, and finally, all the TV shows were cancelled."
 * In the episode where they go to the aquarium plays with this. The security guard rattles of a list such as no video cameras, no tapping on the glass, no feeding the fish, no diving in the shark tank, no smoking, no knives, no guns, no plastic explosives, but his most important rule is no skateboarding.
 * On an episode of Rugrats when Angelica described the end of the world.

"Zorak: Sei di tek! Traditore! Serpente! Biscottino! (Blockhead! Traitor! Snake! COOKIE!!!)"
 * Cartoon Planet: "Learning to Talk Italian":

"Edd: Oh dear, an intruder. Eating all the food out of my refrigerator! In bare feet! So unsanitary..."
 * In an episode of The Superhero Squad Show Wolverine claims it's never a good idea to get romantically involved with female superheros, female supervillians, and background dancers.
 * From the Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "A Glass of Warm Ed":

"Robotnik: You lost my rocket ship, you let the hedgehog foil my plans again, and NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!"
 * From Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog:

"Robotnik: He ruins my schemes! He escapes my traps! He helps nice people!"
 * Also in the first episode:

""Because weavils are rude, crabby, full time cheats and kind of have gross hygiene.""
 * Jimmy Two-Shoes, on Weavils.

"Dr. Mystico: They called me mad. Insane. Wendell!"
 * In one episode of Tale Spin, several members of the cast are taken before a Thembrian court. Among the charges brought against them is failing to compliment the judge's new hairdo (Which is really stupid considering that they've never seen the judge before and thus would be unable to tell if he had a new hairdo).
 * Freakazoid!

"Dexter: If I don't retrieve the nuclear core in one hour, it will melt down, causing a chain reaction that will destroy the Earth... and I won't be able to read my book!"
 * From the Dexters Laboratory episde "Nuclear Confusion", where Dee Dee stole the experimental power source for Dexter's new reading lamp from the lab:

"Irving: This is from the time you built that rollercoaster, and this is from the time you raced those chariots, and this is from the time you ate that soup."
 * Courage the Cowardly Dog changed it up by putting the weak one in the middle in the episode "King Ramses' Curse". The first of King Ramses' plagues was flooding, and the last was locusts, but the second was...music that was mildly annoying at worst. Played incessantly, and perhaps a bit loud for the middle of the night, but still...not really a worse torture than flooding.
 * From Phineas and Ferb:

"Phineas: Laser gun, magnet ray, cup holder..."
 * Also, from "Ready For The Bettys":

"Judge: Stinky Dalton you've been charged with assault, train robbery, cattle rustling, and worst of all forgetting Mother's Day! (jury gasps)"
 * From The Good, The Bad, and The Huckleberry Hound:

"Vezon: So, what am I supposed to do on Destral? Theft? Assassination? Running with sharp objects?"
 * Moral Orel does this a lot on earlier episodes. Before the show changed formats, Orel would typically misinterpret some moral lesson and end up doing something horrible. At the end of the episode, Orel is always given a stern lecture... about something incredibly minor.
 * For example- Orel resurrects the dead using the Necronomicon; he gets in trouble because all the dead are now naked, and nudity is immoral. Another time- Orel gets addicted to crack; he gets in trouble because "crack is a gateway to using slang."
 * The Little Lulu Show episode, "Prisoner Exchange", had Tubby's Criminal Doppelganger, Marty the Midget, who is wanted for burglary, kidnapping, grand theft auto, and worst of all, not looking both ways before crossing the street.
 * From Bionicle:

"Tibor the Terrible: He called me a pirate! Plundering, scavenging, downloading MP3s!"
 * Mucha Lucha gives us the gem:

"Gorilla Grodd: Humans are weak, slow, stupid, and have an unpleasant body odor."
 * From the Justice League episode "The Brave and the Bold".

""I would rather be doing other things right now: base jumping, swimming with sharks, chasing beautiful women. You know, dangerous things."
 * From the "I Am Rainfo" episode of Brandy and Mr. Whiskers: *Lola breaks in * "AAAH! The boa constrictor, it squeezes the life out of its prey!" *Cheryl and Meryl break in* "AAAH! Toucans, they use their beaks to crush fruits and defenseless animals!" *Ed breaks in* "AAAH! The river otter, it tells long boring stories and has a very weak bladder!"
 * Justin Hammer from Iron Man Armored Adventures has one:

"Dark Warrior: Just think of it a time machine capable of taking me anywhere in history I could lock up criminals before they commit crimes, banks will be safe, drug stores will go unrobbed, and no one will get away with not brushing after every meal! Dark Warrior: (as a judge in ancient Greece) For stealing an ox the penalty is death, coveting wives: death, stealing grain: death, tracking mud through the kitchen: ...death!"
 * Occurs quite a few times in Darkwing Duck. Some examples from "Time and Punishment", where in a distant future Darkwing becomes Darkwarrior Duck:

"Daria: Yeah, why should you be afraid of mass murderers, serial killers, torturers, cannibals, puppy kickers..."
 * From Daria

"Gary: I've seen my only real friend die, I've seen a giant panty roll over a guy dressed up like a rainbow, I've seen the Donkey Kong kill screen, I've seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion..."
 * From The Venture Brothers: