Pineapple Express/Funny

"Red: Where do you think you're going, Mr. Wiggles? Come on! Get back here! Feisty! Dale: Saul, help me! Help me! He's punching my bum!"
 * Dale and Saul fighting with Red:

"Dale: This! Ends! NOOOOW!
 * And:

[slams Red's head into wall]"

"Red: Man, I'm just into Buddhism, and I'm at peace with the fact that me, as this person, probably gonna not be around. Think about a hermit crab, okay? And it's a shell. It's like, they go from one shell to the next. And that's what I am. I'm just a hermit crab changin' shells. Dale: Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back as a dragon. You'll come back as Jude Law, okay? Which would you rather be? Red: Maybe the anal bead, depending on who it belongs to. Dale: Belongs to me. Red: Then the dragon."
 * The entire opening sequence with Bill Hader.
 * Dale verbally assaulting the principal of his girlfriend's school.
 * And later, his phone call to his girlfriend (using a phonebooth).
 * Dale giving a motivational speech to Red to encourage him to rescue Saul.