Cucumber Quest



"Almond: Awesome! I've always wanted to fight a real monster. Cucumber: I haven't!"

Tomorrow's the first day of school at Puffington's Academy for the Magically Gifted and/or Incredibly Wealthy, and Cucumber's all packed up to move in. Before he can tuck into his last dinner at home, a letter arrives: Cucumber's father, Lord Cabbage, has been kidnapped and imprisoned by the henchmen of the evil Queen Cordelia, who plans to take over the world! Despite being meek and studious and having a little sister who would likely do a better job, saving the world is strictly the duty of Cucumber. Cucumber sneaks into the Caketown Castle dungeons to speak with his father, who tells him Cordelia's plan: to amass the Disaster Stones and awaken the Nightmare Knight! Cabbage tells Cucumber to meet with the Dream Oracle, who will grant him the legendary Dream Sword, an invaluable weapon against the Nightmare Knight.

And so begins Cucumber's quest.

Cucumber Quest is a web comic by Gigi Digi of Hiimdaisy fame, and so far reads like a snarky love letter to classic SNES-era video games, presented with a Paper Mario-style sense of humor. It can be read here. Starting in 2011, it has not updated since 2017, but is still on the live web as of December 2020.

Has a slowly filling character sheet.

"NK: This is the queen. Splashmaster: So? NK: So, this isn't the princess. They're two different people. Surely even you can grasp this concept. Splashmaster: But queen just older fatter princess!"
 * Abusive Dad: implied with Cabbage. He certainly is a Jerkface.
 * Action Girl: Cucumber's little sister Almond takes swordplay lessons and eagerly volunteers to go on the quest in his place. She later pulls off a Big Damn Heroes moment to save Cucumber.
 * All There in the Manual: Gigi's Tumblr.
 * April Fools' Day: Cuke or Die II: Cuke Harder.
 * Art Shift:
 * Cabbage's explanation of the background of the Nightmare Knight is accompanied by a shift to paper cutouts.
 * A presumably less deliberate example: some stylistic elements like the crayon-style outlines are used inconsistently from page to page.
 * Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: Everyone will have some kind of character design element that is perfectly in line with their name. For example, Bacon's hair is wavy and greasy and looks like bacon while Peridot's is boxy and resembles green gemstone.
 * Berserk Button: Peridot and her name getting mispronounced.
 * Big No: Cucumber delivers one as Sir Tomato brings his sword down on him.
 * Blade on a Stick: Carrot had one...before he ran off in terror away from a harmless monster.
 * Broke the Rating Scale: Cabbage's Jerkface is at least 6 stars out of 5.
 * The Splashmaster's Attack is also like Cabbage's Jerkface stat.
 * The Nightmare Knight's stats break the rating scale in EVERY category!
 * Butt Monkey: Cucumber will never have his way.
 * Cats Are Mean: Cordelia has cat ears.
 * Cosmic Keystone: The Disaster Stones, which, if all gathered, can be used to resurrect the Nightmare Knight.
 * Cowardly Lion: Sir Carrot.
 * Cute Witch: Peridot.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Gigi, constantly in her author notes.
 * Also Peridot, Almond, what little we've seen of Saturday, the two cake ladies, Saturday's butler...
 * ...The Nightmare Knight...

"Nautilus: It's not a cell phone, Cucumber. It's a Royal Instrument of Summoning that's been passed down through my family for generations."
 * Edible Theme Naming: Applies to every named character who lives in the Doughnut Kingdom, except for the Oracle. In a more specific example, Cordelia has a trio of goons named Bacon, Dame Lettuce, and Sir Tomato.
 * Everything's Worse with Bears: A bear attacks Carrot when the baker sisters ask him to retrieve some special sugar. His name is Grizzlygum, and he has no teeth or claws.
 * He's actually just doing his job as Gumdrop Forest's guardian (The Oracle's "private woods"), doesn't like to hurt people, and is quite welcoming after finding out that Cuco is the legendary hero.
 * Evil Overlooker: Cordelia, Peridot, and the BLT Trio in the prologue splash.
 * The Nightmare Knight in the Chapter 0 splash/cover page.
 * Evolving Credits: The artwork at the top of the comic's page has been changing as the story goes on.
 * Expressive Accessory: The Oracle's wand-eyeball makes the same expressions her normal eyes do.
 * So does her turban-like head wear.
 * Eyes Always Shut: Cabbage.
 * Not always!
 * Eyes Do Not Belong There: The Dream Oracle carries a wand with an eye on the tip.
 * Fan Girl: Almond is one of a fictional hero named Punisher Pumice.
 * Flower in Her Hair: Almond's hair ties.
 * Functional Genre Savvy: Pretty much everyone besides Cucumber is this. They are all absolutely sure things must play out a certain way (ie. Cucumber being The Hero and using the Dream Sword to fight the Nightmare Knight) even when they make absolutely no sense (ie. Cucumber a rather rubbish hero and there are other, less exciting, ways to stop the Nightmare Knight
 * Genre Savvy: Cucumber, after realizing that
 * Glass Cannon: Almond, if Gigi's character stats are to be taken seriously.
 * Goldfish Poop Gang: Lettuce, Tomato and Bacon have the potential to become this.
 * Gratuitous French: Princess Parfait has a thick French accent for no real reason. This is lampshaded on the character page, where instead of a Special stat, she has a French stat of 5.
 * Hammerspace: Almond's pocket is where she keeps her sword, according to a bonus comic.
 * Heroic Lineage: For Cucumber, to be the Legendary Hero. "So it skips a generation here and there!"
 * Idiot Ball:
 * Insistent Terminology:

"Almond: We haven't had a decent fight this whole chapter! Put up your dukes, Grandpa!"
 * It Is Pronounced Peri-DOH
 * It's Up to You: As much as Cucumber attempts to avert this, no one will let him off the hook about this world-saving business.
 * Jerk Face: Cabbage. In fact he seemed to have dumped all of his stat points into being a douche, as the number of stars doesn't even seem to fit in the stat box.
 * Joke Character: Bacon. His stats are all one star, and his description simply reads "We don't talk about Bacon."
 * Know When to Fold'Em: Carrot argues this. Baguette quickly retorts that the monster he was faced with had neither claws nor teeth.
 * Level Ate: The entire Doughnut Kingdom.
 * Little Bit Beastly: The main characters are all borderline examples.
 * Love Dodecahedron: Carrot and Parfait love each other. Tomato loves Parfait, and Lettuce loves Tomato.
 * Mad Scientist: Cosmo seems to be this.
 * Medium Awareness

"Dream Oracle: Listen, Zucchini-- Cucumber: Cucumber. Dream Oracle: Camembert, that's what I said."
 * My Friends and Zoidberg: We don't talk about Bacon.
 * My Name Is Not Durwood:

"Well…the people of Dreamside have television, electric lighting and space travel, but they’re still fighting with swords. I probably decided on this because I’ve always liked cartoons and comics that blend old-timey fantasy stuff with modern technology for the sake of humor or whimsy or whatever."
 * Non-Action Guy: Cucumber. He's a Squishy Wizard who hasn't quite gotten the "wizard" part down yet.
 * According to Gigi, he's actually pretty good at magic-- it's just that his equipment is sub-par.
 * OH GOSH: The heroes' reaction to a giant sea monster.
 * Perpetual Frowner: Baguette so far.
 * Quirky Miniboss Squad: The BLT Trio.
 * Rainbow Speak: Phrases occasionally show up in a colored font, adding to the video game feel.
 * Redhead in Green: Cucumber.
 * Refusal of the Call: Cucumber thinks he's probably the least qualified person to save the world and wants to go to school. No one will have any of it.
 * Role Playing Game Verse: All significant characters have stat distributions on the site's Character page and Gigi has released inventories for Cucumber and Almond on her Tumblr. However, while the comic resembles an RPG in presentation and story, actual gameplay elements like stats or MP haven't made an appearance in the work itself.
 * Rose-Haired Girl: Tartelette.
 * Schizo-Tech:

"Cucumber and Almond are just Kids. Almond is a Slightly Younger Kid."
 * Screw the Rules, I Have Money: "Puffington's Academy for the Magically Gifted and/or Incredibly Wealthy" would imply that to get in you need either magical skill or enough money for lack of skill to not matter.
 * Sibling Yin-Yang:
 * Cucumber is a thoughtful, somewhat cowardly mage, while Almond is a rash and headstrong swordswoman.
 * Baguette bakes bread and is cynical and brash while Tartelette bakes pastries and other sweets and is polite and pleasant.
 * Show Within a Show: Punisher Pumice.
 * Similar Squad: Gherkin and Peanut, the original brother/sister pair who fought the Nightmare Knight, to Cucumber and Almond.
 * Speech Impediment: Grizzlygum has a lisp.
 * Squee- done by Queen Cordelia on page 118. It's surprisingly adorable after she had finished chewing out her henchmen and threatened to turn them into stone.
 * Stating the Simple Solution: Cucumber suggests that he simply destroy the Disaster Stones instead of going on a long-winded quest. Cabbage panics and says it would make him the most boring legendary hero ever.
 * Cucumber does this again when
 * Stay in the Kitchen: "When's the last time you ever heard of a little sister becoming a legendary hero?"
 * Stealth Pun: Grizzlygum is a bear with no teeth, just gums. In short, he's a GUMMY bear.
 * Taken for Granite: Peridot's specialty seems to be turning people into peridot.
 * Talk to the Fist: Tomato wastes his time boasting at Almond. She takes the opportunity to whack him in the face.
 * Tennis Boss: Peridot.
 * Third Eye: The Dream Oracle has one that peeks through her turban.
 * Took a Level in Badass: Cucumber appears to do this when given a new wand, but he probably knew how to cast spells beforehand but didn't have the chance to.bord
 * Unusual Ears: The Dream Oracle's resemble membranous wings.
 * Vague Age: Word of God on Cucumber's and Almond's ages:

"Cucumber: Oh, or how about I call you Nautie for sh-- Princess Nautilus: (Gives him a Look of Death.) Cucumber: ...how about I call you Nautilus. Princess Nautilus: That would be wonderful! ♥"
 * We at least know that Cucumber is not 9. Because that's how old his father thinks he is.
 * Valley Girl: Lettuce. There's, like, something irritating about the way she talks.
 * Verbal Tic: Baguette has a tic, man. Tartelette does too, hon. Lettuce, like, probably counts, too.
 * Verbal Backspace: Cucumber does an impressive one while being introduced to Princess Nautilus:

"Wizards, wizards, wizards, wizards, wizards, wizards, wizards, w"
 * Villainous Friendship: An apparent type I between Cordelia and Peridot.
 * Wine Is Classy: Cordelia in this bit of artwork.
 * A Wizard Did It: How a flat planet physically works.


 * Would Hit a Girl: Tomato threatens Almond, saying he has no qualms about hitting a girl. Almond never gives him the chance.
 * You Can't Thwart Stage One: Cuco would very much like to avert this trope by preventing the Nightmare Knight's summoning, but the enemy--and even some of his allies--are determined to have it played straight.