Dink Smallwood

"Dink: I'm NOT a pig farmer! Milder: Are you farming pigs right now? Dink: Er..."

Dink Smallwood tells the standard 32-bit RPG tale of a farm boy who dreams of becoming a mighty warrior. After Dink receives a visit from a local wizard and Dink's mother and house burn in a fire, Dink begins his epic and snarky journey to save the kingdom from cults, rogue knights, goblins, famine, and

Dink Smallwood was made by Seth Robinson of Robinson Technologies in 1997, and was originally sold in stores, with a shareware version online. In 1999, Seth released the game as freeware, and can be downloaded here. Even later, Dink became open sourced in hopes of making it available on more systems.

Dink Smallwood is also notable for having a game development system right alongside the game, for creating new adventures for Dink called "D-Mods". One D-Mod, Mystery Island, which was also created by Seth, is included with the original game. Other D-Mods, along with the bulk of the Dink community, can be found at The Dink Network.

"Man: What the hell are you doing? Dink: What do you mean? Man: I mean you just barging in here, no knocking, nothing! What's with that? Dink: (pause) And there's like... something WRONG with that?"
 * All Myths Are True: "Joppa Isle doesn't exist, it's just a story for kids."
 * Exclusively Evil: Goblins.
 * Bottomless Magazines: The arrow version.
 * Broken Bridge: Literally.
 * Chivalrous Pervert: The degree of chivalry is partly for the player to decide, but Dink is always a pervert.
 * Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?
 * Doomed Hometown Doomed Home
 * Easing Into the Adventure: "Dink, would you go feed the pigs?"
 * Fail O'Suckyname: Dink Smallwood.
 * Game Mod - Fan-made adventures ("D-MODS") are still produced to this day.
 * Girl Next Door: Libby.
 * Hellfire: The spell that bears its name.
 * Jerk Jock - Milder Flatstomp.
 * Law of Cartographical Elegance: Inverted. The countryside is a blobby landmass surrounded by question-marked land.
 * Ludicrous Gibs: Blood splatter happens a lot in this game. Decapitating or exploding livestock deserves special mention.
 * The Lost Woods: Murkwood Forest,
 * Monster Town: The Goblin Sanctuary.
 * Mordor: The Darklands.
 * News Travels Fast
 * Parental Abandonment: Dink's father is notably absent.
 * Playing with Fire: The first spell Dink learns is a fireball spell, and some trees are flammable.
 * Port Town: Averted. A city called PortTown is mentioned several times, but it is never seen in game.
 * Rush Job: the second half of the game is markedly less polished than the first parts.
 * Science Is Bad: In Mystery Island.
 * Swiss Cheese Security: Lampshaded in a house in KernSin.
 * Swiss Cheese Security: Lampshaded in a house in KernSin.


 * Sword Fight
 * Video Game Cruelty Potential: Your various attacks can be used on NPCs as well as monsters. Effects vary from crying for mercy to outright murder. And that's not counting the harm you can do with words alone...
 * You All Look Familiar