Bennett the Sage

Bennett White, a.k.a. Bennett the Sage, is an Internet video producer on That Guy With The Glasses, whose matter-of-fact style contrasts with the more theatrical reviewers on the site. He can be found here. Bennett hosts or has hosted three series:


 * Sage Reviews, in which he covers recent video games in a traditional analytical review style (ie, to help viewers decide whether or not to purchase them) rather than purely for entertainment.
 * Masterpiece Fanfic Theatre (now retired), in which he performed Dramatic Readings of the worst of the worst of Fan Fiction.
 * Anime Abandon, where he looks at vintage anime from the '80s and '90s, some classics, some terrible. This series is closer to the entertainment-based sketch reviews done by other TGWTG contributors.

Bennett also makes regular cameos in other TGWTG personalities' videos, where he portrays himself with a sadistic persona, thanks to an early crossover with Ask That Guy With The Glasses. He does an annual anime review crossover with the Spoony One (which led to the creation of Anime Abandon) and makes frequent appearances on The JesuOtaku Anime Review, where he subjects her to truly horrendous softcore garbage.

"Bennett: *holds up bottle of lotion* "Excuse me for a moment, folks. I've got some business to take care of." *cut to commericial*
 * The Abridged Series: Did Elfen Lied Abridged, which is currently on hiatus.
 * Accentuate the Negative: 90% of his game reviews are like this (it seems like the only triple-A FPS title he genuinely liked over the past few years were Killzone 3 and Resistance 3, two titles he really gushes over, while cross-platform and Xbox titles tend to get much more critical treatment). Unlike Yahtzee or Bennett's own Anime Abandon reviews, the negativity is played completely straight instead of done in a bombastic, jokey manner, which has led detractors to complain it comes across as grouchy, nitpicky, and Feigning Intelligence.
 * Sometimes averted in his Anime Abandon reviews, where even if he doesn't like a certain thing he will acknowledge some of its good points, or in the case of Akira, its influence on anime culture as a whole. This is especially evident in his review of Perfect Blue, which he says he doesn't hate but doesn't really like either, and that he can tell it was Kon's first film since certain parts of it feel weak compared to his later work.
 * All Men Are Perverts: Brought up in Urotsukidoji, granted it is a hentai.
 * Ax Crazy: When he hangs around Ask ThatGuy. GOODNESS.
 * Big Lipped Alligator Moment: He says that the entirety of Doomed Megalopolis is this, since while the scenes leave an impact on the viewer they're perfunctory to the plot.
 * Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: When reading My Immortal, the caption states that he couldn't decide whether to voice a secondary character as gay or annoying, so he made the character sound annoyingly gay.
 * Brother-Sister Incest: He's particularly incensed by this subplot in Doomed Megalopolis, though his objection has less to do with it being incest and more with it being rape.
 * The Casanova / Casanova Wannabe: In the Golden Boy review, complete with bathrobe.
 * Catch Phrase: "Our story begins..."
 * Cheshire Cat Grin: Sage is a master of the really pervy, unsettling grin. It helps that he has really prominent cuspids.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: Subverted during his crossover with The Nostalgia Critic:
 * cut back after commercial, he is rubbing his elbows* "What? I have crusty elbows!""

"I know who I am when I'm saying this, but rape is possibly the worst thing one can do to another. Such an act, if included in a narrative, will bring it to a grinding halt. You have to respect your audience and address the issue directly. You do not diminish this violent act by making it the sidestory."
 * Even Evil Has Standards: Occasionally comes up, though in JesuOtaku's review of Eiken he subverted it immediately afterwards by suggesting she wouldn't be as offended if it was a Gender Flip.
 * Fan Girl: He doesn't have any, as memorably said in his Q&A video.
 * Feigning Intelligence: Bennett's detractors usually claim he does this.
 * Lampshaded by OanCitizen in his Jin-Roh review, which Sage proceeds to quite adroitly refute.
 * Fridge Horror: He realizes that for Jubei to have casually shown up while Kagero is being raped in Ninja Scroll means that Jubei must have been there for a while but didn't do anything to stop it, and concludes that Jubei is a dick.
 * This is the reason he gives for B4-4's video, "Get Down," being part of his Top 10 Surreal Music Video list.
 * Game of Nerds: Bennett outed himself as a baseball fan during the Mezzo Forte review.
 * Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: He laments that the girl-on-girl scene in Cloud Mows the Lawn comes after virtually nothing but scat scenes.
 * Gratuitous Rape: He's brought up several times in Anime Abandon that he hates it when shows use this trope just for shock value, and takes special issue with the incestuous rape subplot in Doomed Megalopolis, and seriously considers ending the review right then because he'll just continue to be pissed off about it for the rest of the review. Rather ironic considering how he acts in character. He even lampshades it:

"Either the asshole has time-traveling sperm, or we've got a plot hole the size of fuckin' China."
 * He Panned It, Now He Sucks: An Invoked Trope, since Bennett's made a habit of anticipating this reaction whenever he reviews something that he knows is popular.
 * At the start of the Akira review he spends a long time talking about how influential the film was before he starts laying out its flaws.
 * Same with Perfect Blue, complete with anticipatory covering of his ears from expecting boos, only for them to not come at first and start up a second later once he removes his hands.
 * At the start of his Grave of the Fireflies review, he makes it clear he's fully expecting this when he says he doesn't like it.
 * Her Codename Was Mary Sue: One episode of "Masterpiece Fanfic Theater", Bennett vs KFC.
 * Hey, It's That Voice!: He points out that the voice of Mikura in Mezzo Forte is the same as Rika from Digimon Tamers and Edward from Cowboy Bebop, and proceeds to refer to Mikura as "Edward" for the rest of the review.
 * I Need a Freaking Drink: He keeps a bottle of scotch on hand during the Doomed Megalopolis review, and runs out near the end.
 * Karma Houdini: He's incensed by the fact that the rapist brother in Doomed Megalopolis gets off with only a few punches to the jaw.
 * Kavorka Man: Suave, at least until Bennett kills him. Or not.
 * Loves the Sound of Screaming: Critic's crying Angrish in Starchaser leads to the A Date with Rosie Palms subversion up above.
 * Mean Character, Nice Actor: In character, he delights in all manner of depraved acts to the point that Ask That Guy is afraid of him, while out of character he's disgusted by the incestuous rape subplot of Doomed Megalopolis and the treatment of women in Mad Bull 34.
 * Mind Screw: His consensus on the old dub of Akira.
 * Mood Whiplash: He had to snap his head loose after an extremely bad instance from Doomed Megapolis.
 * Moral Event Horizon: He says that he can't have any sympathy for the protagonist of Junk Boy after he tells a starlet that masturbating to photos of her is probably the only reason he's not a rapist.
 * Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Given that he reads the most vile, disgusting and horrendous fanfics in existence without batting an eye... yeah. And that's not even getting into his guest appearance on Ask That Guy, where he manages to do the impossible and make That Guy With The Glasses Squick.
 * Nice Hat: Most of the time, anyway.
 * The Nicknamer: In "Anime Abandon" he hardly ever calls any character by their actual name unless he can't find anything he can compare them to.
 * Nostalgia Filter: Although his current series is about bad yesteryear Anime, he still openly considers the medium to have gone downhill since that time, to the point where he finds increasingly harder to consider himself to be a fan nowadays.
 * Pass the Popcorn: Bennett sits back, drinks a soda, has some popcorn and just shows clips of The Ultimate Teacher until Rob Walker calls him out on it.
 * Plot Hole: He points out the rather large one in Doomed Megalopolis concerning the fact that Yukiko claims to know that her father is really her mother's brother, even though he supposedly impregnated her after Kato tried to use her as a conduit to summon the spirit.

"Japan, what is this, the third fucking time in a row we've had this discussion? If you can't write a story without rape in it, could you at least wait until AFTER the five minute mark?"
 * Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: Evidently Bennett's feelings on it, since whenever he sees rape being played less than seriously or in a juvenile manner, especially with Mad Bull 34, he gets very mad.

"Don't you worry, asshole, because when Bono is up there on stage, guilt-tripping the audience about you and your plight, you'll finally get all the of sympathy you've been waiting for since you first took your sister's virginity, you worthless sack of shit."
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He gives an extended one to the brother in Doomed Megalopolis after he launches into a wangsty whine session about how hard his life is since he has to take care of his sister, who, Bennett points out, he raped and impregnated, and his own niece/daughter, and Bennett concludes that he should have a fundraiser concert thrown for him. The pure vitriol in the last line really sells it.

""I never thought the sound of laughter could be so... agonizing... *shudders*""
 * Running Gag: Outside of videos, his refusal to admit he has fangirls.
 * During the Mad Bull 34 review, the "Blondes in Peril" count.
 * Satan: He's the devil, to nobody's surprise. Okay, not really. (Or is he?)
 * Heel Realization:
 * Sexophone: Suave's Leitmotif, and when sexy things happen in general.
 * Sincerity Mode: His video game reviews are done as dryly as possible without any real humor to them, in shocking contrast to most of the rest of the TGWTG stuff.
 * The Smart Guy
 * So Cool Its Awesome: His opinion of Ninja Scroll.
 * Sophisticated As Hell: His "Masterpiece Fanfic Theater" segments have him read rather dreadful stuff in as sophisticated a tone as he can muster.
 * Squick: He shudders in pain in reaction to the voice acting of Garzey's Wing.


 * One of the captions during Clowd Mows the Lawn is "No! No! Do not want!" once the scat scenes start.
 * Surreal Music Video: He did a whole Top Ten List of them.
 * Take That: He evidently does not like Vic Mignogna, judging by the long sequence in the Junk Boy review where he beats up Floating!Vic Mignogna's head with a baseball bat.
 * They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: His feelings on the fact that Doomed Megalopolis only introduces Keiko, who, as he points out, is the one who beats the Big Bad, in the third out of 4 episodes. He concludes that she would have been more interesting to focus on rather than her asshole, incestuous rapist husband.
 * Too Kinky to Torture: Well, considering that he was pretty cool with being spooned by Spoony and even asked "same time next year?" the second time it happened...
 * Too Soon: The reason he decides not to even touch the reference to earthquakes in Japan during the Doomed Megalopolis review.

"Till next time!"