Lesbian Vampire Killers



A long time ago, the wife of a noble crusader fell under the spell of Carmilla, the lesbian vampire queen. The crusader killed Carmilla, but in turn she cursed his village: every woman in the town will turn into a Lesbian Vampire, until she returns.

Today, slackers Jimmy and Fletch hike into the town, meet a busful of sexy women, and decide to stay the night. Bad idea! Surprisingly, Better Than It Sounds.

This film contains examples of:

 * Action Girl: Lotte
 * And the Adventure Continues: See Sequel Hook below.
 * Ambiguous Syntax: See Non Indicative Name.
 * Audible Sharpness: The enchanted sword at the beginning.
 * Badass Preacher: The Vicar
 * Subverted. It turns out he doesn't actually have any experience fighting vampires and has never fired his crossbow before.
 * He does get one hell of a Badass Boast though. "Whores of fucking Hades! Prepare for fucking death!" as he makes his Last Stand.
 * Badass Normal: Lotte. She's able to take on Eva, Carmilla's second in command, without any help or supernatural powers.
 * The Bechdel Test: Weirdly enough it passes it with flying colours from all the conversation between the girls, and (if you include all the vampire related conversations) probably fails the reverse Bechdel test, as the main male characters only talk about Vampires, Jimmy's ex and getting laid. Proof that the test has nothing to do with the quality or feminism of a film.
 * Big No: The baron has one in the introduction when he discovers Carmilla has turned his wife into a lesbian vampire.
 * The Blade Always Lands Pointy End In
 * Brainless Beauty: Trudi is so dimwitted as to have a vocabulary that consists of literally one word but because she has large breasts (Or DOES she?) Fletch slobbers all over her.
 * Brick Joke: The gay werewolf.
 * Camp
 * Exactly What It Says On the Tin: Pretty much played for laughs, as the characters repeatedly point out how ridiculous the idea is.
 * Fan Service
 * Forgotten Fallen Friend(s) the female love interest doesn't seem that upset that all her friends have turned into vampires, and then were killed, by her and her new boyfriend.
 * And everyone for at the end (See below.)
 * Inferred Holocaust: Every female child has been turned into a vampire on their eighteenth birthday for a thousand years, do a bit of quick math and that means there were a lot of women who were turned or slain (probably by their own families...).
 * Lampshade Hanging: The film point out how ridiculous a lot of its elements are, then does it anyway. Also see Indecisive Parody
 * Left Hanging: What happened to the vicar? And how would he have coped when he found out about his daughter being dead?
 * Lesbian Vampire (obviously)
 * Les Yay: Take a wild guess.
 * Love At First Sight: It takes Lotte less than 12 hours to decide that Jimmy is The One.
 * Though that may just be being forced into a life-and-death situation after just meeting.
 * Market Based Title: In the US, the title is shortened to "Vampire Killers".
 * Meganekko: Lotte.
 * My Death Is Just the Beginning: Carmilla's curse goes "As you strike me down (...). I shall rise again, more powerful than you can possibly imagine".
 * Nature Abhors a Virgin / Nature Adores a Virgin: Lotte
 * Non Indicative Name: It's about people who kill lesbian vampires, but going by the title it could also have been about either lesbian vampires who are killers, or lesbians who are vampire killers.
 * Played for Laughs: "You punched a child in the face, Fletch."
 * Sequel Hook: At the end the survivors decide to rid the world of other supernatural evils, and become Lesbian Vampire Killers.
 * Shout Out: To Carmilla
 * Also, My Death Is Just the Beginning: see above.
 * Sliding Scale of Silliness Versus Seriousness: Take a guess. Go on.
 * Town With a Dark Secret
 * Throwing Your Sword Always Works: How Jimmy kills Carmilla.
 * Lampshaded by Steve's reaction of disbelief.
 * Title Drop: "Are you suggesting we become lesbian vampire killers?"
 * The Vicar
 * Virgin Sacrifice
 * Weaksauce Weakness: the vampires are ridiculously easy to kill, and are easily held off by crosses. It's a shame that there's so many of them, and that Carmilla doesn't suffer from any of their weaknesses....