The Spiderses

One day, Twilight Sparkle tries to cast a new spell. It turns her and, for some reason, Big Macintosh into spiders. They then have lots and lots of spider sex. Twilight gets pregnant with spider babies, who then hatch and kill Spike. There is a very exciting chase, and the two run into another spider named Miriam Webster and one of Pinkie Pie’s sisters. The baby spiders bring Spike back to life by spitting all his juices back, Twilight and Big Mac are turned back into ponies by Miriam, the author has a Self Insert cameo as an alicorn, and Twilight returns home.

Now stretch that one paragraph across a few pages, misspell almost every word, use no grammar whatsoever, and voila! You have The Spiderses, the My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic answer to My Immortal and Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

The fic can be read here. There are also a few dramatic readings on YouTube, if you are so inclined, with the equivalent of the Gmod version as part of Rainbow Dash Presents.

"they started to have spider sex and it felt rely wieird for twilight but twilight nevr even had normal regualr pony sex so spider sex was the weirdest most strage thing ever. it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing. amynore."
 * And That's Terrible
 * Animal Talk: Averted. Spiders can understand pony speech, but not the other way around. Pinkie Pie's sister is an exception.
 * Ascended Extra: Pinkie's sister. It's never specified whether it's Inky or Blinky.
 * Author Avatar / Self Insert: Argembarger suddenly appears as an alicorn for absolutely no reason, just so Twilight can try and have "pony sex" with him. He blows her off and leaves in the same paragraph he's introduced.
 * Back from the Dead: The baby spiders bring Spike back to life by putting his vital fluids back into his body
 * Baleful Polymorph: Twilight Sparkle and Big Macintosh, obviously.
 * Coitus Ensues: Big Macintosh's reaction to possibly being stuck in spider form? LET'S HAVE SEX!
 * Death Is Cheap: Sucked all the juices out of Spike? No biggie, just spit them back into him and he'll come back to life like nothing happened.
 * Department of Redundancy Department
 * Metaphorgotten:


 * Mouse World
 * Pluralses: The title.
 * Purple Prose: The below-mentioned Writing Evolution.
 * Remember the New Guy?: The Author Avatar is presented as Twilight Sparkle's "bestest friend in the world."
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: To the point where it's almost illegible.
 * Stylistic Suck: And how.
 * Switching POV: The narration randomly shifts from third-person to Twilight Sparkle's first-person.
 * Thanking the Viewer
 * Troll Fic: Eeyup. Trollestia greatly endorsed this as a "GODLIKE FANFICTION EXPERIENCE".
 * Wave of Babies: The spider babies after they hatch.
 * Word Salad Title: The chapter titles.
 * Writing Evolution: For a few short paragraphs, the fic suddenly improves in quality...just long enough to kill Spike before getting even worse than before.