Sesame Street/Headscratchers

Sesame Street
"Vi: Now, would you like to find out how to get to Sesame Street? Grover: No, I'd like to see a menu."
 * The "Dance Myself to Sleep" sketch - is there a reason the sheep carry Bert's bed out, aside from "Bert panicking is funny?"
 * No. No, there is not.
 * In fact, this is the point of pretty much every Bert and Ernie skit, that Bert panicking (or furious, or stunned to the point of fainting) is funny.
 * Just how DO you get to Sesame Street?
 * Make friends with people, value the good things in life, learn to love and be kind to others. That's how you get to Sesame Street.
 * Or, dope yourself up with several amphetamines, hallucinogens, and antidepressants and hope you don't accidentally step off the Yellow Submarine onto Avenue Q.
 * This troper thought that was brilliant, that just made her day.
 * You'll need to get directions there from Callahan's Place. It's where Mike sends the really bad cases.
 * To the above troper: I love you for tying Sesame Street and Callahan's. You have made my day.
 * If you take the Muppet Movie at face value when Kermit & Fozzie run across Big Bird, Sesame Street is somewhere in New York.
 * Sesame Street taped in Manhattan until 2002, and thereafter in Queens. The older seasons, particularly in things like the alphabet and number sequence montages, are full of scenes of real-life New York.
 * You take the A, B, C, or D train, according to the occasionally-seen subway stop.
 * Grover once got lost and wandered onto Vi's Diner on The Electric Company, but we're left hanging when they find out where he's trying to get back to.

"The disclaimer doesn’t say, “Do not under any circumstances let kids see this stuff because it’s bad for them.” It just says it “may not suit the needs of today’s pre-school children.” Now, if you had watched these DVDs, you’d know that the first episode includes a slow-moving, seven-minute segment on milking cows with droning, repetitious narration. Does that sound like the kind of thing today’s kids would sit still for? There’s also a film sequence about unsupervised children playing in a construction site. We could debate whether or not watching that is damaging to kids, but can you blame Sesame Workshop for covering themselves by putting a disclaimer in front of something like that?"
 * MapQuest it.
 * According to the Elmo YouTube interview, you could take a bus, or a train...
 * Practice, man, practice!
 * Just how does the economics of Hooper's Store work? Who pays for all of those birdseed milkshakes for Big Bird? It looks like only the humans (and Kermit, and maybe Grover) have jobs.
 * I'd say Grover has jobs.
 * Of course he has jobs! Everywhere Michael Steele that blue guy with the mustache goes (whether a restaurant, taxicab, airplane, whatever), Grover's working there!! Like Ryan Seacrest, Grover (who, for some reason, I always pictured looking like as a human) works at about 42 different places.
 * In this early sketch, Big Bird mentions having a tab. Not sure how that works, either, though.
 * Well, the actor that played Mr. Hooper was blacklisted during the McCarthy Era, maybe it's an elaborate Commune/Barter system?
 * And along these same lines, at least half of the Muppets clearly have the mental and emotional maturity of children, yet they apparently live by themselves. Does Social Services not exist in this universe?
 * A Muppet version, as evidenced in the movie where Big Bird is ripped from Sesame Street and sent to live with his own kind, a bird foster family. Serious Nightmare Fuel for this troper as a child.
 * It wasn't Social Services exactly. It was a group of birds (especially Miss Finch) that arbitrarily thought Big Bird needed to be with his own kind.
 * When I was a kid, I always thought Bert & Ernie were brothers, and the sketches that they showed up in happened to be when their folks were at work (hence, them never being around).
 * Same here.
 * Same here.
 * Me too. Makes me wonder. Did you tropers have an older/younger sibling who you were with when your parents were at work?
 * What is it with the beginning message on the "Old School" DVDs that say the old episodes "Are for adults and may not suit the needs of today's children."? WHAT. THE. FUCK? Are they afraid of today's kids developing a clever sense of humor or something?
 * Yes
 * Its because Moral Guardians have become more active and powerful since the loose 1970s. Also, the early episodes were targeted at older children, around eight. Today's episodes are targeted at young children, as young as three.
 * Also, note that it says "may not suit the needs of today's children," not "are not safe for children."
 * Having rewatched many of the old school episodes and witnessed the behavior of many of today's children, old school Sesame Street is exactly what they need, be they three, eight, anything in between. It has the right balance between reality and imagination, and it doesn't talk down to them at all. What really gets to me is that the Moral Guardians who called for that warning in the first place probably grew up with these very episodes that turned them into the depraved misanthropes they don't want today's kids to become... OH, WAIT, THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL.
 * Tough Pigs, a Muppet fan site, has a great article on this. It goes on for quite a bit mocking the show's Fan Dumb, so here's the important part of the argument:


 * This Troper, having small children of her own and being a fan of the Street, assumes that the reason for the disclaimer comes from the opening of the very first episode. As far as the viewer knows, random black male adult is holding white female child by the hand and taking her home with him. It's not until later in the episode that the viewer finds out that Gordon is the girl's teacher, bringing her home for milk and cookies with his wife, the nurse.
 * So is "Monster" a surname, a species or a race? And how do they reproduce? Do they age, what sort of family structure do they have? If there were more than one Cookie Monster, I'd be worried, considering how much he eats.
 * It's a Species Surname. And more than one Cookie Monster? Come on. Who else would name their kid 'Cookie,' anyway?
 * Maybe 'Cookie' is just a nickname; much like the kid in your third class who farted loud enough to be heard on the 2nd floor is known as Jimmy "Stinky" Vincent, he is Mike "Cookie" Monster (or whatever his first name actually is), because of his snack food of choice.
 * According to his article on the amazing Muppet Wiki, he claims to be the last cookie monster in the world, but later mentions there's more than one of him in a video. Really, since we've seen his family before, I think we can assume Cookie Monster is just his name. According to the article above, his name before Cookie was possibly Sid.
 * Why can't people seem to understand that Bert and Ernie aren't gay, but are instead roommates? They live on Sesame Street together because it's cheaper that way, just how Gonzo and Rizzo are roommates.
 * Speaking of which, are Bert and Ernie on Friends Rent Control?
 * Aren't they brothers? And usually kids? Who says they (aside from Bert) are gay?
 * People would riff on Gonzo and Rizzo being roommates if either of them were noticeably hominoid. As semi-anthropomorphs, they are exempt from sexual speculation, as people stay mentally away from the sexual habits of extraterrestrial avians and terrestrial rodents.
 * More like the text-text that Gonzo swings more towards chickens. Since when has being a semi-anthropomorph stopped sexual speculation?
 * The fact that they argue like an old married couple doesn't help.
 * What about Statler and Waldorf? They've been together for years and yet no complaint about their sexual relations. I guess people don't like to mention sexual preferences about old men.
 * Do Statler and Waldorf live together? We know they hang out together, but the closest we've seen them to living together is both of them being in the same retirement home.
 * Waldorf is married; his wife Astoria takes Statler's place in one episode. However, she looks like Statler in drag.
 * Ah-HA! Statler is Waldorf's brother-in-law! Astoria wants them out of the house so she can have her Mah-Jong ladies over so she sends them off to the Muppet Theater every day...
 * Getting back to the original issue, what really bugs me is that people say they're gay when they clearly have two separate beds.
 * I am gay and in a relationship and sleep in a separate bed from my partner. We have conflicting sleeping habits. Considering that Bert always bitches at Ernie for eating in bed, it's not at all inconceivable to apply this to them.
 * You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that the Count never kills anyone, and then sucks their blood for sustenance.
 * The Count (Full name Count Von Count) is only interested in counting. He's not a real vampire, though I'd bet you could kill him with a stake through the heart.
 * Or the puppeteers heart.
 * His first name is Count (like Van Von Vaughn)? He's not, say, Humbert Von Count, Count of Streetsylvania?
 * Not to mention that he's purple.
 * Maybe the color is a result of not getting any blood in a long, long time?
 * Maybe he's like a Discworld vampire, and he overcame his addiction to blood by shifting the obsession onto something else, in this case counting.
 * Or he could just be wearing a costume. He's obviously wealthy, judging from his huge castle. Perhaps he actually descends from Eastern European aristocracy and he's just an eccentric billionaire who likes playing dress-up.
 * Didn't Dave Chappelle say the Count was a pimp on the comedy special, "Killing Them Softly"?
 * He's actually the same sort of vampire puppet as Little Vladdie the Dracula puppet from The Middleman, only rather more benign. He somehow ended up at the CTW workshops back in the 70's and the Muppeteers ended up having to work him into the show because they couldn't get him off Jerry Nelson's arm. Eventually the Middleman stopped by to have a word, resulting in the Count's change from being rather dark to much more friendly. The Muppeteers got used to using him as a character on the show, but to this day struggles sometimes still break out when the Count's hapless puppeteer needs to switch out.
 * The Count is obviously a vampire. An obsessive love of counting is actually a common part of pre-Stoker era vampire lore. I assume he just drinks the blood of animals.
 * Actually in Rumanian folklore a vampire's victim can distract the vampire by throwing seeds to the ground. The vampire will immediately and invariably start counting the seeds, and the victim can get away.
 * The Muppets and their ages. Are some of the older ones really adults? Is Elmo really only three? On that note, is Big Bird still only eight? None of them seem to act their age..
 * Monsters age very, very slowly.
 * ...and they use a different calendar.
 * Bert and Ernie..Are they brothers, or just room-mates?
 * This troper heard that they were cousins, but can't remember where.
 * They're brothers in the books, but I'm not sure which if any are canon. They seem canon, but then Canon is a tricky subject.
 * Depending on which God you take Word of God from it varies. Certain people claim they're simply roommates. One version claims that they're the Younger and Older Brother as seen from the perspective of the other. Originally they were supposed to be Father (Bert) and Son (Ernie), but original producers thought that a Child talking to their parent in the manner Ernie did to Bert was a bit much.
 * I think they keep it vague so there's more room for different jokes. It really depends which is funnier.
 * Interestingly enough, when the Norwegian version of the show premiered, the kids in the test audience seemed to just assume that Bert was Ernie's father.
 * The issue of Santa Claus in the Christmas Eve on Sesame Street special. One of the major points is that Big Bird doesn't need to know if Santa is real or not. But Cookie Monster knows his phone number! Cookie called Santa! Santa apparently is in the phone book or something, so why is the "reality" of St. Nick in question in the Sesame Street universe?
 * IIRC, the subject of that special wasn't if Santa Claus was real or not, but how he fit through the tiny chimney of 123 Sesame Street. So Big Bird sat up on the roof, determined to find out how Santa did it. Of course, he dozes off, and wakes up just in time to hear Santa leaving.
 * The bigger logic flaw for this troper (and which turned out of kind of be how Gordon resolves the question at the end) was--Big Bird is worried because Oscar says Santa can't get down chimneys and therefore can't leave any presents, right? This isn't Big Bird's first time at the Christmas rodeo, though. The correct response to Oscar's 'theory' is "Oh, yeah? Then how did he get the presents in the house LAST year, smart guy?" Which in the end is basically what Gordon tells him ("Does it look like no one's getting any presents?") Oscar's got Big Bird going on the HOW part of the question, but as it's already been demonstrated that Santa DOES get in, why agonize over the how with the assumption that if you don't find out, Santa will no longer be able to do it? (Unless Oscar does in fact know Santa's real, as Cookie seems to, and is even CRUELER than we thought, because in the Sesame Street universe it's the opposite of what he implies to Big Bird--if you do know how Santa does it, then he doesn't bring presents. And this was an even eviler plot than it seems on face value. Oscar wasn't just trying to mess with Big Bird's head, he was trying to trick him into actually not getting any presents!)
 * Demons are both real and malevolent in the Sesame Street world. No, really, see the special "don't eat the pictures". And that Just Bugs Me.
 * Not only demons, but a (somewhat cleaned-up) version of the ancient Egyptian afterlife to boot. But apparently, Osiris is James Mason, so it's okay.


 * Referencing the time when the episodes are being made is a good thing. But why is Abby, a toddler, the only on camera person on Sesame Street who owns a cell phone?
 * All the muppets have been around since the early '70s, and many were old enough then to have been around for decades even at that point. They're old enough to not exactly be able to keep up with all this newfangled technology the kids are into these days.


 * Toddlers dating. Especially dating Elmo. Abby get away from that red freak before he corrupts your magic.
 * Besides a few shippers, who says they're dating?
 * Both of the items I made above regarding Abby came from a time when Headscratchers was still called It Just Bugs Me. To actually answer, after watching some episodes as an adult, it seems that Abby and Elmo are paired a little too often. An episode that opens with them sunbathing side by side did it for me.


 * Why does Cookie Monster have to eat less cookies, but Elmo doesn't have to go to speech therapy? Children don't need to be thinking that they should be speaking about themselves in the third-person!
 * Remember to send Baby Beaw Baby Bear to those therapy sessions too!


 * Now I love Sing (Sing A Song), but one lyric still annoys me. "Don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear." This is implying that everyone can't sing prettily enough. It should be "Don't worry if it's not good enough for anyone else to hear." This would convey the proper message: that regardless of your singing ability it's important to sing out loud and strong to share your feelings.
 * Hold on a sec: The line is saying don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear. As in "Don't think 'Oh, I can't sing, because it probably will be bad!' because it's NOT."
 * No. "Don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear." This is a decree that your singing voice is not good enough for anyone to hear. Your voice is not merely worse than the average person, it's the absolute worst voice that can possible sing a song. This is a bad message.
 * If it meant that, it would say "Don't worry because it's not good enough for anyone else to hear." As it is, the message is not to worry about your singing ability not being good enough without any kind of judgment on whether or not that's actually true.
 * I always took it to mean "If you enjoy doing something, even if you're not very good at it, don't let other people try and stop you. Do it for yourself instead."


 * What kind of bird is Big Bird? The size seems to indicate a ratite, but ratite posture is horizontally oriented, and Big Bird is perfectly vertical like a penguin...
 * For that matter, if he is still a juvenile, as he clearly is, how big is he going to get when he's full grown?
 * Well, he is a big bird, after all!
 * A parrot, obviously. He can talk, that settles it.
 * Maybe he's the last elephant bird or moa. No, screw that. He's a juvenile roc, who will grow up to destroy the street. Damn, that would make a good fanfic.
 * Big Bird is what hatched out of Humpty Dumpty.
 * Big Bird is a phoenix. Hm...Who knew I'd want to write a fanfic about Sesame Street!
 * One zoologist has suggested that Big Bird is a flightless crane that retains juvenile characteristics into adulthood.
 * What was the point of the song We All Sing With The Same Voice!
 * What's the name of that song?
 * Why does the fat blue Muppet continue to go to Charlie's Restaurant if he's expressed such dismay at being waited on by Grover?
 * He's always in a hurry. Maybe it's the only restaurant near enough to his office for him to get there and back in his lunch break.
 * Alternately, Grover only works there occasionally, and Mr. Johnson (as his name has now been revealed to be) keeps coming to the place because whenever Grover isn't the waiter it's actually a very nice place to eat. So every time Mr. Johnson enters the restaurant, it's with the hope that today isn't one of the seemingly-random days when Grover is working... and often, it isn't, and Mr. Johnson has a very nice meal during which nothing funny whatsoever happens -- but that wouldn't be very entertaining to show on TV, so we only get to see the times when he discovers to his annoyance that Grover is at work today.
 * The whole Veggie Monster thing. Anyone who actually saw "Cookies Are A Sometimes Food" knows that the song is sung to Cookie, who at the end declares that "sometime is now" and starts eating a lot of cookies. He's always been an Anti Role Model of sorts, and the fact that everyone is now convinced that this has changed is irritating, especially because if you don't watch the show enough to spot the fact that this is only a rumor, than why do you care so much?
 * Why oh why did they have to make Zoe wear the tutu permanently? I'm fine with her loving ballet-- what little girl didn't at that age?-- but this is a bit much.