The Number 23/Funny

"Therapist: Tell me about this canine Ned. What would you do if you came across him again? Walter: If I was in my truck...I'd accelerate until I heard a thud."
 * The scene where Walter has to undergo psychological counseling after being bitten by a dog on the job.

"Chef: [talks excitedly in Mandarin] Walter: Mmm-hmm, yeah, sure. Chef: [continues talking, gesturing wildly] Walter: Sounds delicious. Can I get it to go?"
 * The interaction between Walter and the irate Chinese chef: