The Room/Funny

"Johnny: I did nat heet her, it's naht true, it's bullshit! I did naht heet her! I did NAAAAAHT. Oh hai, Mark."
 * "Oh hai, doggy!"
 * Even funnier because the lady seems to be one line behind in the script.
 * When Johnny has just had a fight with Lisa, and furiously talks to himself before noticing his friend Mark is there.

"Lisa: He got drunk last night and he hit me. * Michelle: He hit you?! * Lisa: I don't want to marry him anymore. * Michelle: What?!"
 * "Anyway, how's your sex life?"
 * This is uttered immediately after Johnny claims he can't talk to Mark about what's going on at work because "it's private".
 * "And she's showing everybody me underwears."
 * "You are tear-y mea PART Lees-ah!!"
 * The fight scene for some strange reason. The dialogue by Johnny definitely helps.
 * "Don tosh meh, motorfocker!"
 * "I definitely have breast cancer!"
 * "In a few minutes, bitch."
 * The entire pot smoking scene.
 * "Johnny doesn't drink!"
 * "Where's my FUCKING MONEY DENNY!?!"
 * "YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MOTHER!"
 * "Chicken, Peter, you're just a little chicken. Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."
 * Even more hilariously brought up later with, "You betray me, you no good. You just a chicken - cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep." He also looks stiff as a board when he does the chicken movements.
 * "What a story Mark." It's how badly dubbed it is and how inappropriate the laugh is for the story that makes it hilarious.
 * "Wow, you look great! You look... a baby face..."
 * Another great piece of dialogue: