Homestuck/Characters/Agents and Monarchs

The agents of Derse and Prospit and the royalty of those planets.

For the troll universe's version of Jack Noir, Draconian Dignitary, Courtyard Droll, Hegemonic Brute, see the Midnight Crew section in the Exiles pages. For their version of the Black Queen, see Snowman of the Felt.

For other notable Prospitan and Dersite characters, including post-Exile versions of the White Queen and White King, see the Exiles.

Tropes common to all Prospitians and Dersites

 * Adult Child: The higher you go up the castes, the more mature they seem. Jack Noir acts like a teenager, the Courtyard Droll and Wayward Vagabond act like young children, and the Royalty of each planet act more or less like adults.
 * Anthropomorphic Personification: Of chess pieces. Averted with some other pieces, like rooks and bishops, which exclusively appear on the Battlefield and seem much more monstrous than other carapaces.
 * Ascended Extra: Both as a whole, they've become very popular, and In-Universe, where a few carapaces will be exiled and advise players from their former homeworld, and then rebuild civilization with other, unseen, exiles.
 * Bishonen Line: Odd usage related to hands. High ranking agents like Jack Noir and the Royalty of each planet have clearly distinct fingers while pawns like WV have more claw like hands. Inverted with their teeth though; high ranks have sharp teeth but low ranks have pretty much human teeth.
 * Bizarre Alien Biology: Averted, though their skin are semi-segmented hard carapaces, with edges and complex joints, this does nothing to their durability, as they suffer from wounds in a nigh-identical manner to humans and trolls. They do have internal genitals and Non Mammalian Mammaries, but they have skeletons too, and organs seemingly all in the normal places, meaning overall they're pretty human.
 * Fan Nickname: "Carapaces" to refer to both races as a whole, and extrapolating from that, "Carapeople."
 * Ascended Meme: They eventually start to be referred to as Carapacians as a whole in Act 6.
 * Fantastic Caste System: Follows basically from chess rules. There is only one pair of royalty per planet, a small number of archagents, and a massive number of pawns below them.
 * Funny Animal Anatomy: Follow in Hussie's words "cartoon logic" in that guys don't have to wear clothes, but girls do. Word of God is that they have internal genitals.
 * Immortality Type II: They have only been shown to die from external causes, and seemingly cannot die of old age. They're even fairly tolerant of injuries, starvation, and dehydration. In fact, there's no indication that the exiled carapaces even ate or drank anything for several hundred years.
 * Monochromatic Eyes: Black for Prospitians, White for Dersites, neither having pupils.
 * Non Mammalian Mammaries: Unlike the trolls, it happened because fan speculation pegged PM as female, and Hussie said "Sure Why Not", and it spiraled from there. Originally, they were intended to be all male, save the Queen. Not true for all women though, as there have been several shown and identified female pawns that are completely flat.
 * Ring of Power: The two Queen's Rings and the two King's Staves can prototype any carapace, giving them strong reality warping abilities, as well as conferring on them the features of the things that were prototyped, ie, jesters, cats, various animals, impaled crows, First Guardians...
 * MacGuffin: In addition, the White Staff can be used to start the Reckoning, and is used to do that by the forces of Derse in an ordinary session. The players then have 24 hours to defeat the Black King and capture the Black Staff, which wins the game.
 * Sidequest Sidestory: Most Carapaces are irrelevant to the game, but nonetheless are sentient and can interact with the players, and have their own stories going on. However, two Dersites in particular are ways to eliminate the final bosses, avoiding direct combat. These sidequests are only triggered under unknown circumstances, apparently when the resentment of the Royalty by the two becomes unbearable, and may not occur in a session.
 * Jack Noir (and to a lesser extent the Archagents under him) functions as backdoor means to eliminate the Black Queen due to his ambitions. In both the Pre-Scratch Human session and the Post-Scratch Troll's session, he eliminated the Black Queen through direct power grab and a coup d'etat, respectively.
 * WV also serves as a backdoor means of eliminating the Black King. According to Word of God, there is always a rebellious soldier in every session. Seems to also be That One Sidequest in that it's far more difficult to interact with him on Skaia, while Jack Noir actively seeks out players. At any rate, he hasn't pulled it off in either session shown so far.
 * The Voiceless: Odd usage. Carapaces clearly can speak and have done so in commands, narration, and game sequences, but nonetheless they never speak in chat logs.
 * You All Look Familiar: Generic pawns look completely identical. Non-combat pawns vary more in their appearance.

Jack Noir/Sovereign Slayer/Bec Noir/The Cancer


The Archagent of the Dark Kingdom of Derse, he watches events from his CUBICLE OF VIGILANCE. Within the game, he functions as a non-standard way to get rid of the Black Queen, and should players collaborate with him, they can avoid a tough fight at the end of the game, though they should also be cautious that he doesn't turn on them.

The trolls' iteration went on to become Spades Slick, leader of the Midnight Crew, after helping the Prospitian trolls exile the Black Queen. The Alpha iteration also has his own subsection below.

The Beta version was humiliated by the Black Queen by a succession of increasingly humiliating dress code changes. It didn't end well for her. Or for anyone else, for that matter.

"Andrew Hussie: We learned a lot about his character, even though it wasn't even technically the same character, and never suspected we were getting a primer on the key villain who would rise to power. This was the plan."
 * Achilles' Heel: Besides the omnipotence, which definitely sucks for everyone, the Bec prototyping did actually grant Jack something that can only be beneficial to the protagonists; he possesses a fierce subconscious loyalty to Jade and is completely unable to bring himself to harm her. Also he has this weird obsession with dog treats.
 * This eventually came back to haunt him - Jade and Dave fought him together and Dave outright abuses this weakness by shielding himself with Jade. So Jack is pretty much in a battle he can only escape from.
 * And now he's stuck following Jade around like a lost puppy and obeying her commands because of his loyalty.
 * Allergic to Love: Both versions of Jack have shown disgust and hatred towards red romance, so it's not all that surprising that when he falls for an angry PM, his first reaction is to run.
 * Exclusively Evil: Jack loves to murder people. He cares very little even for his comrades, and even his idea of consoling someone is kind of paltry at best.
 * Beta Jack does display some kindness to Jade... of a sort, and only really because Bec's prototyping essentially Brainwashed Jack. Even then, he's still kind of a jerk. When his form of kindness is not immediately killing someone, well, that says a lot.
 * And Then What?: Faces this dilemma after being prototyped with Bec. Killing and destruction are the only ways he knows to pass the time, but he has to be careful so that he doesn't accidentally destroy everything with his omnipotence, because then there will be nothing left for him to destroy. However just as he's run out of things to blow up, PM shows up and Jack falls in love with her.
 * Anthropomorphic Personification: His insatiable lust for destruction exists because he's the embodiment of the cancer in the kids' universe.
 * Bad Job, Worse Uniform: He hates the outfits the Black Queen forces him to wear.
 * Berserk Button: After the fourth prototyping, harming Jade eventually develops into this.
 * It Got Worse. See Roaring Rampage of Revenge below.
 * According to Word of God, it was specifically the clown costumes that finally pushed Jack over the edge. That's how Gamzee made the cancer "terminal" by causing John's fear of harlequins and Jack's humiliation.
 * Big Bad: Handily usurps this role from the Black Queen and King in the Kids' session, and is the Big Bad of Act 4.
 * Has the role usurped from him in turn in Act 5 where Doc Scratch (and by extension Lord English) proved to be the true Big Bad, whereas Jack is merely a very dangerous threat.
 * Bishonen Line: He looked positively monstrous between John's One-Armed Harlequin prototyping, Dave's Seppucrow, and Rose's Eldritch Cat Princess etching their features onto him. After Bec is prototyped and Jade enters the medium, he loses the tentacles and cat features, and what was left of the harlequin outfit and becomes overall sleeker and meaner.
 * However, when you see him up close in detail in [S] Cascade, he is one ugly, scary dog. So, averted.
 * But You Screw One Goat!: Both Spades Slick and B2 Jack Noir have "Terrier Fancy" as their Porn Stash, which puts a whole different spin on the main B1 Noir's instant attraction to PM.
 * The Caligula: He already had the personality, then he got hold of the Black Queen's Ring and became the Sovereign Slayer. After being prototyped with Bec, he becomes even more unstable, and also has dog-like thoughts from time to time. And once he enters the troll's session, he doesn't hold anything back, destroying the troll's lands and then their Prospit and Derse while brutally murdering any dreamself who happens to be awake at the moment, as Tavros, Karkat, Feferi, and Nepeta find out the hard way.
 * Cloudcuckoolander: Shades of this are creeping into his personality as of the fourth prototyping. Suffice it to say that the combination of limitless power and canine urges isn't doing much for his mental stability.
 * Contrived Coincidence: Jack has a knack for arriving at exactly the wrong time. Justified though, because of Timey-Wimey Ball.
 * Cool Shades: After the fourth prototyping, he steals Bro's as a trophy. Later on, he realizes taking clothing from dead enemies is stupid and takes them off.
 * Create Your Own Hero: Many times, with PM, Aradia, and all of the kids. It's fair to say that everyone who isn't directly killed by Jack becomes much more powerful because of his actions, and even some of the ones that he does kill become much more powerful.
 * Dangerously Genre Savvy: According to Andrew Hussie. Although there are arguments for him being the inverse, simply not caring about genre or implications, and just wanting to destroy everything.
 * By now this has been demonstrated multiple times. A nigh-unkillable God Tier player shows up the challenge him; does he accept? He does, but not before following her trail back to her hideout and slaughtering all of her non-God Tier friends. Two players show up to challenge him in order to get revenge for their murdered parents; just as the fight is starting, he teleports behind one of them and stabs them in the back. He encounters two more players, one of whom is his Achilles' Heel and he can't bring himself to harm. (check the banner at the top of the page) After trying to fight them directly for a bit, he redirects the attack from one player into her friend (banner again). Bottom line: Noir knows his tropes and subverts whenever possible.
 * Though as counterpoints, sometimes he just blows things up for fun without thinking of the consequences, such as when he attacked WV's ship without taking precautions to secure the ring, or again where he ignores PM and the ring a second time.
 * He also has a blind spot where John is concerned. He gives PM the package intended for John which bites him later, he kills him on his Quest Bed (ensuring his godhood), he seems befuddled that the Breeze keeps him from hunting down his scent, and he sucker stabs him in a fight that would've surely led to him doing something heroic and earning a more permanent death.
 * And it works against him when he's savvy enough to get CD? to kill Jade, which by that time Jack had decided to not do.
 * Distinguishing Mark: When Jack enters the troll universe, he's seen with a bloodied hand. This serves to distinguish the "future" Jack with the "present" Jack, who lacks the blood on his hand. The blood is eventually revealed to have come from WV.
 * Evil Counterpart: The Midnight Crew was always one for Team Sleuth in the bonus material, with Spades Slick being the obvious counterpart to Problem Sleuth. Taken a step further here, with the fourth prototyping essentially the Evil Counterpart to Sepulchritude.
 * Flash Step: Skilled enough with it to keep up with Bro and Davesprite at the same time, before he was prototyped with Bec.
 * Foe Yay: His relationship with the Black Queen is a dead ringer for kismesisitude. Unlike Spades Slick & Snowman, though he kills his Black Queen before this can be shown.
 * And now with PM after she followed him to get revenge. A stunned Jack ♥'s PM now, but PM ♠'s Jack.
 * From Nobody to Nightmare: Goes from a glorified paper-pusher to an nigh omnipotent Ax Crazy One-Man Army who destroys planets.
 * Good Wings, Evil Wings: Evil, black, feathered wings, befitting his prophesied role in the Troll session as the Lord of all Angels.
 * Grudging Thank You: After Mr. Egbert sets his hat on fire, sprays shaving cream all over it and stomps it into ruination, Jack allows him to leave. He really hated that hat.
 * Handicapped Badass: The prototyping removed one of his arms, not that it seems to hinder him any.
 * Hero-Killer: He's already wiped out entire armies and planets, but killing Bro, one of the most badass characters in the story, qualifies him beyond a doubt. He then goes off to stab John through the heart and to kill another of Dave's timeline offshoots. Then, he stabs Mom, Dad and John (again).
 * Possibly tops this in his brutal onscreen murders of the dreamselves of Feferi and Nepeta, two trolls who before playing Sgrub were capable of pulling whales around and murdering animals with no weapons at all.
 * Not to mention reducing an entire army of Aradiabots to scrap metal, psychic powers and robotic strength be damned.
 * To clarify with John and Rose, one was God Tier and wielding an Infinity Plus One Hammer, the other had gone Grimdark and was wielding the power of ancient Eldritch Abominations. John gets taken out seconds into the fight, and Rose doesn't last much longer than that.
 * His total body count, roughly in order: the Black Queen, WV's united Prospitian/Dersite army, most of the population of Prospit, Jade's dream self, Bro, numerous salamanders, John, an alternate Dave, Dad, Mom, John again, Rose, Dave, the Courtyard Droll, the White King, the White Queen, AR, mortally wounding WV, the entire army of Aradiabots, all the trolls' dreamselves save Vriska, all the inhabitants of the trolls' Prospit and Derse, all the inhabitants of the trolls' Lands, and Earth's entire universe.
 * Hidden Agenda Villain: After he becomes the Sovereign Slayer. It's quite telling how in the second recap, every mention of his motivation is followed by "only he knows."
 * Honor Before Reason: When the Parcel Mistress hands over the White King's and Queen's crowns, he hands over Jade's package, just as he promised. Even though it contained the obscenely powerful weapon that precipitated his rise to power in the first place, and the Parcel Mistress certainly couldn't have forced Jack to give it up. This turns out to be a very bad idea.
 * On the other hand, Andrew has suggested that he believed the bunny would remain under his control, regardless.
 * Also, returning Bro's sword to Bro before engaging him in a fight. Obviously he could've killed Bro there and then, but he really wanted a compelling duel.
 * Humanoid Abomination: Thanks to the ring, which brings him ever closer to the "abomination" part of this trope with each prototyping.
 * I Have Many Names: Jack Noir, Sovereign Slayer, Bec Noir, "the demon", "the cancer", and possibly Lord of Angels.
 * Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: His default state when wearing the ring. The prototyped Seppucrow causes him to sheath his sword through his chest.
 * Ironic Echo: Troll-session Noir cuts his right hand to show his red blood to Karkat, proving that he's Not So Different. Kids-session Noir has a red blood-covered right hand when he enters the Troll universe and starts killing everyone, including Dream!Karkat.
 * Another echo between (a) the end of the Midnight Crew intermission when Spades Slick poses over the bar scanner with one gouged eye, a missing arms, and a pattern of red laser light on his head and (b) the end of "[S] Jack: Ascend," when Jack is in the same pose after putting on the ring with blood splattered on his forehead.
 * Ironic Echo Cut: The same bloodied hand above is featured in a cut in "[S] Cascade" from when his hands are covered in the blood Jade's killer to when he enters the Troll session right after having rammed his fist through WV.
 * Leitmotif: Not the Ballad of Jack Noir, but rather Liquid Negrocity/Black.
 * Klingon Promotion
 * Lonely at the Top: He's been bored out of his skull ever since he became omnipotent.
 * Knife Nut: "Here, stick this in your pipe and bleed to death slowly."
 * Marathon Boss: His duel with PM has been going on for a year in-universe. It may be an inversion; Jack himself is still scared shitless and it's PM who's pressing the fight.
 * Meaningful Name: Jack is the rank below Queen and King in a deck of cards. Noir means "Black" in French, thus Jack Noir being "Blackjack," and in the Midnight Crew's fake band there are songs titled "The Ballad of Jack Noir" and "Blue Noir," which could be a reference to Jack's name. Especially since Spades Slick was once a Jack Noir. Not this Jack Noir, but a different one.
 * Meaningful Rename: For his new name, Sovereign Slayer, or SS = Spades Slick
 * Also Bec Noir = BN, chess notion for Black Knight.
 * Odd Name Out: Unlike the other Agents, he doesn't keep his initials when his name changes.
 * The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body: Ever since Bec was prototyped, Jack has found himself thinking like a dog at times and sees Jade as his friend and master.
 * Monster Clown: Jack, along with all the Dersites, wear clown -- er, harlequin outfits because John prototyped the Kernelsprite with a harlequin doll, giving them its traits. Subverted in Jack's case, he hates the clothes and gets rid of them whenever possible.
 * Though he still wears its tattered remains when he becomes the Sovereign Slayer.
 * Morality Pet: Played for laughs. "You can never stay mad at Cal. He is a true friend. The only you have ever known."
 * Zig Zagged with Jade. He can't bring himself to hurt her because of his prototyping with Bec, and constantly has to suppress urges to gush over her like a puppy. So he orders DD to kill her instead. Except that when someone actually manages it, he's so upset that he takes her corpse to her Quest Bed, reviving her as a ridiculously powerful God Tier First Guardian.
 * Nice Hat: Although he doesn't like it that much, it's required of him to wear it when his monarch is looking. After becoming Bec Noir and Killing John's Dad, he took his Fedora. Then he pulls it off when he realizes that collecting trophies is stupid.
 * Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Nice job waking up and empowering the one person who could possibly stop you (temporarily).
 * And again at the end of Act 5, when after Jade is killed, Bec's influence causes him to take her to her Quest Bed. Since Jade's dream self was currently the second prototyping of Becsprite, when she revives she has both God Tier Witch of Space AND First Guardian powers.
 * No Fourth Wall: Literally, his CUBICLE OF VIGILANCE is missing its fourth wall. Jack is pissed about that. It was later used by Andrew to provide a recap.
 * No-Nonsense Nemesis: See his fight with John and Rose.
 * Obstructive Bureaucrat: Was one originally, although he outright says that he'd rather kill someone than do any paperwork they may require of him.
 * Odd Name Out: The only carapace to actually have a name, outside of the Midnight Crew.
 * Oh Crap: He gets one when he realizes the bunny is loyal to John, and again when the ring-wearing (and incredibly pissed) Prospitian Monarch appears.
 * Omnicidal Maniac: Well... yeah.
 * One-Winged Angel: Happens after he puts on the dead Queen's ring.
 * He does it a second time when Bec is prototyped with Jade's kernelsprite. Arguably more of a Bishonen Line, since he loses the tentacles.
 * Outside Context Villain / Giant Space Flea From Nowhere: Initially from the perspective of the Trolls. They just beat the final boss, are about to claim their great reward, and then suddenly an even more powerful opponent comes out of nowhere.
 * As if wiping out the Troll's dreamselves wasn't bad enough, he wipes out their individual lands too, just further complicating bringing the dead trolls back to life.
 * Pet the Dog: See Grudging Thank You. Also his inability to kill Jade, though this is due to Bec's influence more than anything. Averted right after, where he just asks Draconian Dignitary to do it for him... which unfortunately bites him in the ass.
 * All the more so: he is the reason Jade was resurrected, and he appeared to be genuinely sad and angry about her death, almost as if he started believing the urges Becquerel gave him.
 * Physical God: As of his fourth prototyping. He's the second most powerful character in the comic, and the only one more powerful than him is an immortal demon that consumes universes.
 * Picky Eater: As shown by the Post-Scratch Human Session version, although implicitly applicable to all versions, Jack will NOT eat fresh produce, only meat. Justified: as he himself indicates via a display of sharp teeth, he's an obligate carnivore by biology. Or, whatever the Dersite equivalent of biology is.
 * Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Once Jade is killed (by his own orders, no less), Bec's influence on him sets him off on one which leads him to Earth and ultimately the troll session.
 * Scarf of Asskicking: After killing Dad and Mom, he took Mom's Scarf. He then promptly pulls it off, realizing it looks stupid.
 * Screw the Rules, I Have a Nuke: The Black Queen is only able to humiliate Jack only so long as she can overpower him; once he pulls out The Bunny, he overpowers and kills his queen without a second thought before stealing her Prototyping ring, leading to:
 * Screw the Rules, I Have Supernatural Powers: In the Kids' session, his only real restraints are making sure he doesn't destroy everything to the point that he doesn't have anything left to destroy and Bec's influence stopping him from killing Jade. In the Trolls' session, he has no restraints.
 * Sinister Silhouettes: Becomes synonymous with everything going straight to hell.
 * The Starscream: All instances of Skaia have a Jack Noir, who will usually contact the players somehow and help them execute a plan to exile the Black Queen before they have to fight her. The Kids' Jack Noir is a freak case in that getting Liv Tyler/The Robo-Bunny allowed him to go after the Queen without the players' help, thus his ascension to Big Bad.
 * Took a Level in Badass: Before: Obstructive Bureaucrat. After: where to even begin?
 * Trademark Favorite Food: Licorice Scottie Dogs. Both the Troll & Alpha versions of Noir have been seen hording them, though it never came into the story for the main Beta version.
 * Up to Eleven: Does this almost literally when he changes from being a metaphorical Jack of Spades (10) to an Ace (11) when he steals the ring.
 * Victory Is Boring: Shortly after killing John's Dad and Rose's Mom: "God you are so bored."
 * Villain Protagonist: Clearly allied with Derse, but nevertheless becomes the seventh playable character (and the fifth to be named by the player).
 * Done deliberately. Mostly as a preview of his rise to power. Even Spades Slick in the Intermission was part of it.


 * Interestingly, he's still playable after gaining First Guardian powers.
 * Villainous Crush: Develops one towards PM. However, she's gone caliginous for him instead.
 * Why Don't Ya Just Stab Him?: Subverted VERY HARD. Played straight and justified when he refuses to kill Jade because of Bec's influence on hm.
 * Worthy Opponent: Seems to think Bro is one, having retrieved and returned Bro's katana for him. Though after the fourth prototyping, Jack is able to overpower him.

Alpha Jack Noir
This time, he's taking a... slightly more direct approach in fueling the Prospit-Derse war. "He says the Prince flew the coop. And the girl's gone... You say gone what. Rogue? After a little while he says AWOL. The guy doesn't really take a shining to puns and you can't say you blame him."
 * Axe Crazy: First thing he does when given some knives in prison? Kill everyone he can reach.
 * Blood From the Mouth: Somewhat injured from a head injury.
 * Dangerously Genre Savvy: This version of Jack is already fully aware the success or failure of Derse rests solely on the heroes and their actions. So what does he do? Plans on killing them before they even enter the game, severely reducing their chances of winning.
 * Disappointed in You: After opening a pumpkin from Courtyard Droll, Jack's eyes adjust slightly to convey this Dull Surprise emotion toward how CD screwed up.
 * The Dragon: To the Alpha Black Queen, aka the Condesce.
 * Even Evil Has Standards: He admits that dedicated people deserve a proper funeral. Well, at least as proper as he could make it.
 * Everything's Better with Spinning: Not Jack Noir himself, but his sword thanks to Rule of Funny.
 * Genius Bruiser: While still being his usual Ax Crazy self, he apparently has enough technological skill to rewire his prison cell's Sendificator to transport to a specific new location.
 * Hero-Killer: Much like his Beta counterpart. He kills Jane's dreamself before the game even begins. Dirk says they'll have to take him down first to stand a chance of winning.
 * Ultimately subverted for now as far as the actual 'killing heroes' part goes, as Jane did some kind of lifey thing and survived, and Jack got conked on the head by the White Queen before he could finish the job.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: Jack delivers one to DD, who is not amused.


 * Mythology Gag: Ends up in a Jail Break adventure.
 * There Is No Kill Like Overkill: He feels that if you kill a guard by stabbing him in the back with 7 knives and beat his head into a door 88 times it is the proper amount of violence.
 * Although 89 times is where he realizes the overkill.
 * Stealth Expert: Among the people and environment of Prospit he sticks out like a sore thumb, so he must have this going for him in order to be able to successfully infiltrate Jane and Jake's towers completely undetected. Then again, Prospitians and Dersites have been seen going to each others' planets without any trouble.
 * You'd think the Prospitans would recognize the Archagent of Derse if he showed up in public, so he HAS to be this.
 * Tap on the Head: Courtesy of the Alpha White Queen.
 * Visual Pun: After being knocked out by the White Queen, Jack awakens in a jail cell. He has been captured.

UU & uu Jack Noir

 * Hero-Killer: UU's dreamself.
 * Every Man Has His Price: Sweet Scotty Dogs.
 * Palette Swap: Unlike previous Jack Noirs, he wears white clothing.

Draconian Dignitary
An Agent of Derse, and considerably smarter and calmer than his superior Jack Noir. Best described by Dave as a "pretty cold blooded dude", he actually gets things done without being a raging homicidal maniac by employing stealth and actually thinking things through. He was directly responsible for creating Becquerel (at Vriska's suggestion) and thus contributed to Jack's rise to power. Later, he takes over the day-to-day operations of Derse while Jack is off killing everyone, and his nagging is pretty much the only thing keeping Jack from flipping his shit and completely destroying the Incipisphere.

"You hit up the droll. The slayer was right, this guy is clearly incompetent. Still, the only real objective here is to get him to stop breathing down your neck with his awful dog breath."
 * Blade on a Stick: His Weapon of Choice is a spear with a head that visually resembles a red diamond (as in the suite, not the rock).
 * Chekhov's Gunman: Parcel Mistress first passes him by on the way to Jack Noir's office. Of course, by that time, we already had met Diamonds Droog.
 * The Chessmaster: After stealing Rose's code, he creates Becquerel and sends him to Earth as its first Guardian. And by the time Jade plays the game, Bec prototypes himself, giving his superior, Jack, First Guardian powers.
 * But we later find there was a Troll Behind the Man.
 * Corrupt Bureaucrat: Subversion. DD is actually very dedicated to his job. However, he is maliciously lazy when it comes to orders that distract him from said job.

"You tell him you're busy with things that actually matter. Like running this kingdom on his behalf and all. Levying taxes, oppressing consorts, all the unpleasant chores he would never dirty his snout with."
 * The Dragon: Jack Noir's second-in-command.
 * Dragon with an Agenda: Suggested when he stole Dave's copy of Rose's MEOW book and used it to create Bec, apparently not on Jack's orders and with no obvious connection to Jack's plans. Later more or less subverted when Bec was prototyped, and Vriska revealed that she had conveyed the idea to the Dignitary as part of her own plan to empower Jack. So DD was still ultimately acting toward Jack's ends, even if not under his direct orders.
 * Hero-Killer: Dave quickly finds out that going back in time to stop this guy just leads to dead Daves.
 * Hypercompetent Sidekick: Not that Jack isn't competent, by any means. Still, DD's taken over the administrative end of things while Jack's been rampaging.


 * Off with His Head: His fate at Dave's hands.
 * Pragmatic Villainy: "There's a narrow line to walk between obeying the orders of a clear superior and blindly facilitating a perfectly useless genocide. It takes a very savvy breed of psychopath to pull it off. "
 * Meaningful Name: DD = Diamonds Droog
 * Mythology Gag: It's Droog, not the Dignitary, who's been shown reading the newspaper frequently -- it's hard to imagine Derse having any periodicals, as opposed to the rebuilt civilization on Alternia. But mind you, that doesn't stop the Dignitary from fantasizing about WAPping Jack Noir on the head with a rolled-up Gazette.
 * Later, we find out that Derse does have newspapers -- mostly propaganda-filled tabloids, though.
 * Unusual Ears: Forced to wear fake cat ears after Rose prototyped her kernelsprite with Jaspers. He ditches them after Jack takes over Derse.

Alpha Draconian Dignitary
"See, you tell the boss this is his problem. He's too blunt about his ambitions. Don't get you wrong. It's all well and good for a man to keep his eyes on the prize. But he doesn't always need to step over a thousand corpses and swim across rivers of blood to get there. You remind him there are slicker ways to make your moves, especially when it comes to a lady."
 * Ascended Extra: Literally now that he has the Black Ring. Speculation about the Pre-Scratch Draconian Dignitary often attributed more significance to him than he ended up having, but Hussie seems to have taken much of that speculation to heart.
 * Awesomeness By Analysis: He coolly convinces the Condesce to lend him extra firepower, even lighting her a smoke even though she wasn't smoking in the first place. He's just that good.
 * Corrupt Bureaucrat: Building off his Beta version, he thinks paperwork is undignified, and he's more than happy to let stuff keep piling up on Jack's desk while waiting for him to be sprung from prison.
 * Dragon with an Agenda: Just like his boss, he's pretty ambitious. Unlike his boss, he prefers to take things more slowly and subtly.

"Sure, you're going to put this ring on. But when you're good and goddamn ready. Maybe do a little reading first, have another smoke. Finish your coffee. Listen to some REAL music."
 * Invisibility Ring: In addition to the standard RED MILES power, a void session's ring confers this unique ability. But DD doesn't think much of this "dimestore parlor trickery" and doubts he'll ever use it in the future (which may very well, of course, be Hussie subtly signifying that this will prove to be a Chekhov's Skill).
 * Jive Turkey: 30's and 50's slang comes up a bit when the narrator focuses on him in Act 6.
 * No-Nonsense Nemesis
 * No Sense of Humor: Seemingly, but his sense of humor is just very dry and understated.
 * Smoking Is Cool
 * The Social Expert: Unless the Condesce happens to have a particular affinity for him, he definitely qualifies for this: he not only knew exactly how to convince her to lease Dronegorg for his purposes, but even managed to persuade her to lend or give him her queenly ring. (Though the full significance of this gesture won't be obvious until we see what a non-prototyping ring in a void session actually does.)
 * Transformation Sequence: Subverted. Putting on the prototype ring with no prototypes causes DD to undergo a dramatic transformation sequence to change into...himself. Just as well; gaining power through transformations isn't really his style.
 * Villainous Fashion Sense: Dronegorg may be an almighty engine of destruction, but you won't find DD at the helm: It's a bad look for him. No style at all.
 * Wicked Cultured: Why rush into your villainous plans when you can spend a little time being really classy first?

Courtyard Droll
An Agent of Derse, in the service of Jack Noir. He tries to do important tasks involving stealth and theft, but he's not really all that good at what he does.

"The dignitary is one of your superiors who makes you nervous. The list of superiors who make you nervous in fact includes all of your superiors. It includes many of your inferiors as well."
 * Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny: You are so impressed, you forget what you are supposed to be doing.
 * Cloudcuckoolander
 * Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: He may have no idea what he's doing most of the time, but he managed to successfully kill Jade with a shaving cream bomb. Too bad that a loyal Jack Noir was sitting nearby.
 * The Ditz
 * Heel Face Turn: At this point it's increasingly looking like CD has done a complete one eighty -- not that he even necessarily realizes he's switched sides as such, he just seems utterly delighted to be in the company of truly kind people and to help them if he can. Only time will tell whether any external reminders of his mission might get him back on track as a bad guy.
 * Turns out he still knows about his mission, but he's so comically inept that he A) allows the Tumor to get stolen and B) doesn't steal the ring. The only thing he manages to do is to clue on WV's location.
 * Heel Face Revolving Door: Actually coming through and killing Jade cements him as this. Jack isn't impressed.
 * Highly-Visible Ninja: "You have unwittingly been tailed by the nefarious COURTYARD DROLL". How do you get unwittingly tailed by him? It helps that he can Flash Step out of the way when someone turns around.
 * Let's Get Dangerous: If in the most cloudcuckoolandish way possible.
 * Mad Bomber: Explicitly called Derse's top powdermonkey in the Alpha session, and he's made dangerously goofy use of explosives in the Beta session and as Clubs Deuce too. A sort of subversion because even though he's certainly out of touch with reality, he's not crazy about explosions.
 * Meaningful Name: CD = Clubs Deuce.
 * Minion with an F In Evil: John just created and equipped the full-sized Warhammer of Zillyhoo. Had either been there, Jack's or DD's reaction would probably have been to slit John's throat before he could figure out what exactly makes this such a special weapon. But CD's reaction? High five.
 * To be fair, even if he did just slit John's throat, John would have revived again. Getting surprise-killed for no reason isn't going to take out a God Tier player.
 * In his only on-panel fight, he's completely trashed by an unarmed girl. With ADDITIONAL PUMMELING!
 * When he actually does get something vaguely evil done by killing Jade? All he seems to be thinking is that he's incredibly happy to have just done something right and helped out his superiors... and he dances with glee at that thought. It's actually kind of adorable.
 * Nice Hat: He is first introduced by his utterly ridiculous hat rising into the screen.
 * According to DD?, he has a collection.
 * Not So Harmless: Killed Jade with a pretty ingenious plan.
 * Across all versions, he has the second highest bodycount after Jack. The Beta version here ties with the Draconian Dignitary for second at one each. Goofy and loveable he may be, but harmless he is not.
 * Pet the Dog: He befriends none other than the Cyborg Bunny on the kids' battlefield. D'awwwww, CD!
 * And he later gives her his iconic clubs patch to use as an eyepatch after WV eats her green eye.
 * Rummage Sale Reject: He actually likes wearing his silly outfit, much to the confusion of Draconian Dignitary.
 * Shrinking Violet:

Alpha Courtyard Droll
The Alpha session's iteration of Derse agent Courtyard Droll. Like Jack, he's also taking a more direct approach, though with reservations.
 * Even Evil Has Standards: He isn't sure killing the heroes before the war begins is a good idea. Despite this, he still goes through with killing Jake's dreamself by feeding him peanuts.
 * Highly-Visible Ninja: Much like his Beta counterpart, he seems to be able to sneak around no matter how ridiculous he looks. He infiltrated Prospit and set up bombs throughout Jane's tower while wearing this.
 * Mythology Gag: His "you're welcome" embosser is based on a real embosser that Hussie made of the infamous memetic picture of him.
 * Nice Hat: Continues to love ridiculous headgear. In fact, her indifference to it is part of why he likes the new boss. The other part is her ridiculously long hair, which he confuses for this trope.
 * Not So Harmless: As with his other versions, he's got a body count despite being a Cloudcuckoolander.

Hegemonic Brute
An Agent of Derse, reportedly one of the largest and strongest Agents the kingdom has.

The Troll's iteration went on to become Hearts Boxcars. Both the Alpha and Beta iterations were unceremoniously killed off.


 * The Brute
 * Butt Monkey: In both the Alpha and Beta sessions, he's the first of the four agents to die. Hell, Alpha HB dies three panels after his debut.
 * Chekhov's Gunman: He's the safe-wielding minion summoned by Jack to put an end to Mr. Egbert's jailbreak.
 * Demoted to Extra: The spirit of this trope is in play, even though it affects three versions of the same character within one story rather than across adaptations. All three supporting Midnight Crew members received roughly equal portions of screen time and characterization in the intermission. However...
 * The Beta Hegemonic Brute ended up as nothing more than a flat Giant Mook whose sole narrative purpose was to be subjected to The Worf Effect on two occasions, the second of them fatal.
 * The Alpha Brute got hit even harder, dying in his first scene; Dirk even lampshades it.
 * Irony: During the Intermission, Hearts Boxcars beheaded Eggs. After Descend, Hegemonic Brute is beheaded by Parcel Mistress and again in Act 6 by Dirk when he attempts to use an appropriately-named AXE TO GRIND.
 * Meaningful Name: HB = Hearts Boxcars. His name also reflects his role as the court's thug.
 * Off with His Head: His fate at PM's hands.
 * And in the Alpha session, Dirk's hands, complete with Decapitation Presentation / Type 2 Dead Guy on Display.
 * Smash Mook
 * Super Strength: Given the size of the safe he happens to be carrying during his first appearance, it's a pretty safe bet that he has this.
 * We Hardly Knew Ye
 * The Worf Effect: Across all versions. Sure, he's the most physically imposing, but name a fight that he's actually won. Even his Midnight Crew counterpart only killed one enemy after SS ended the fight for him.

Alpha Hegemonic Brute

 * Off with His Head: Complete with Decapitation Presentation / Type 2 Dead Guy on Display.
 * We Hardly Knew Ye: Again.

Black Queen
The Queen of Derse. She possesses a Ring of Power which changes her form to apply the prototyped aspects of the players' sprites when they enter the Medium. While her husband wages the war on the Battlefield, she's perfectly content to just sit around and harass the shit out of Jack Noir.

The Troll's version became the member of the Felt known as Snowman, and her tropes can be found here. The tropes here apply to the Beta Session's iteration, and the final iteration in the Alpha Session was replaced by Betty Crocker, who presumably killed her.


 * Chess Motifs
 * Combat Tentacles
 * Evil Counterpart: She is, essentially, a color swap of the White Queen in appearance.
 * Fake Boss
 * God Save Us From the Queen
 * Good Scars, Evil Scars: Although she has the exact same scars as the White Queen, since they come from the Harlequin prototyping.
 * I Have Many Names: She has been referred to as the Exalted Ruler, the Glorious Monarch and the Black Queen.
 * Ring of Power: The source of her changes from being prototyped.
 * Mix-and-Match Critters: Arguably. She has a carapace, a feline face, two tentacles and wings, the last three resulting from the kids' prototyping of their sprites.
 * Nice Hat
 * Sensible Heroes, Skimpy Villains: Her dress is much more revealing than the White Queen's.
 * Skippable Boss: Skaia's preset variables allows the players to skip her in some way, usually through contact and correspondence with Jack Noir.
 * We Hardly Knew Ye: Twice, since she was killed and replaced by Betty Crocker in the Alpha Session.
 * Winged Humanoid

White Queen
The Queen of Prospit. She possesses a Ring of Power which changes her form to apply the prototyped aspects of the players' sprites when they enter the Medium. She's always a long-term planner, willing to concede defeat or sacrifice herself for the long-term goal. The kid's version abdicates the throne in order to aid PM?'s quest to deliver Jade's package.


 * Abdicate the Throne
 * Chess Motifs
 * Combat Tentacles
 * The High Queen: It even reflects itself in her text, which is overly flowery and elegant.
 * I Have Many Names: White Queen, Adored Sovereign, and Windswept Questant.
 * Mix-and-Match Critters: With the cat-features and tentacles, she could be considered this.
 * Nice Hat: The jester hat that she got thanks to John's prototyping.
 * Sensible Heroes, Skimpy Villains: Her outfit is more modest than the Black Queen's.
 * What Happened to the Mouse?: Her iteration in the Troll Session is never mentioned, which is odd considering the Beta Kid's iteration was full of schemes.

Alpha White Queen
Alpha Prospit's queen, who was rather unimpressed to find Jack trying to murder Jane again.
 * Big Damn Heroes / Dynamic Entry: Her debut.
 * Carry a Big Stick: WQ reminds us that a Staff of Authority is still a weapon.

White King
The King of Prospit, who wages war against Derse on the Battlefield at the heart of Skaia. He wields a scepter which confers upon him increased size and the prototyped aspects of the players' sprites when they enter the medium; the army of Derse seeks this scepter and, when captured, will use it to start the Reckoning, leaving the players just twenty-four hours to defeat the Black King, stop the Reckoning and win the game. The version from the kids' session later hides inside the time capsule in the Frog Temple to survive and become the Writ Keeper on the future Earth.


 * Abdicate the Throne
 * Big Good: Of Sburb, but not of Homestuck.
 * Chess Motifs
 * Combat Tentacles
 * Failure Is the Only Option: He is destined to eventually lose the war on the Battlefield and lose his scepter. It just happened much faster than usual in the kids' session.
 * Gentle Giant
 * Large and In Charge: Holding his scepter makes him a giant, and he's pretty tall even without it.
 * Magic Wand/Requisite Royal Regalia: The scepter has... magical powers. Given that White is destined to lose, said powers are activated near endgame and leave twenty-four hours for the players to prevent the destruction of Skaia.
 * Mix-and-Match Critters: Lost after his scepter is captured.
 * Nice Hat
 * Off with His Head
 * We Hardly Knew Ye: All three known incarnations. Killed immediately upon arriving in exile from the kids' session. Unseen completely in the trolls' session. Killed as a (hopefully) non-sentient chess piece on the unevolved Battlefield in the post-Scratch kids' session. He never had a line.

Black King
The King of Derse, who wages war against Prospit on the Battlefield at the heart of Skaia. He wields a scepter which confers upon him increased size and the prototyped aspects of the players' sprites when they enter the medium. Claiming this scepter is required to end the Reckoning after it starts and to win the game.


 * Big Bad: Of Sburb, but not of Homestuck.
 * Chess Motifs
 * Combat Tentacles
 * Eldritch Abomination: In the Trolls' session. Holy crap.
 * Evil Counterpart: To the White King.
 * Evil Overlord
 * Final Boss: In an ordinary session.
 * Large and In Charge: Holding his scepter makes him a giant, and he's pretty tall even without it.
 * Magic Wand/Requisite Royal Regalia: The scepter transfers prototypings and apparently also must be captured to stop the Reckoning.
 * Mix-and-Match Critters
 * Names to Run Away From Really Fast: His title alone is quite menacing on basic grounds of implying evil.
 * Nice Hat
 * Time Limit Boss
 * We Hardly Knew Ye: Appears three times: once in the original kids' session when Jack shows up to kill him, once in the troll session in a single image of their boss fight against him, and finally, his death in the post-Scratch session as a non-entity on the unevolved Battefield.
 * The Worf Effect: Appears in all of a single flash solely to show how strong Jack is.

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