Unequally Rational and Emotional

A Mahou Sensei Negima fanfiction story with several Mega Crossover elements, written by OverMaster and proofreaded and polished by Shadow Crystal Mage. The story retells the events of the original Negima manga (with a few added elements from the animated adaptations), while adding a notable number of characters and plot points from several other series.

The main noticeable divergence from canon at the beginning is the fact Negi is assigned to live with Chisame and Hakase instead of Asuna and Konoka.

The story can be found here. A nearly identical version of the earlier chapters, but somewhat rougher and less edited, can be found at this forum Thirty four chapters (including a Prologue and three Omake episodes) have been written so far.

"Nekane: "Porn bullets?" Deadpool: "Don't ask.""
 * Abnormal Ammo: Porn bullets.

"Matoi: "You cannot stand in the way of love! Love might be patient, love might be kind, love might not envy, boast, or be proud, it might not dishonor others, be self-seeking, easily angered, keep no record of wrongs, it might not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth, but it always protects! Always trusts! Always hopes! Always perseveres! Love never fails! When every star in the heavens grows cold, and when silence lies once more on the face of the deep, three things will endure! Faith! Hope! And Love! And the greatest of these is Love!""
 * Academy of Adventure: Mahora, of course, but other schools mentioned in the fanfic are implied to be this too.
 * Accidental Kiss: Negi and.
 * Actor Allusion: When 2814 Asuna and Chisame go under secret identities, they call themselves Akemi Kanda and Yumi Shimura, just like their voice actresses.
 * Adaptational Badass: Plenty. Chisame and Misora find their pactios a good deal more useful than their canon selves. Misa, Hakase, and  get pactios that they never received in canon. Other Negima characters such as   get Magical Girl powers from other universes. Characters from other universes, such as   get pactios. There are even characters from non-Negima universes getting powers from different non-Negima universes.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms:, to a poster of
 * Hakase also indulges into this in an early chapter.
 * Alliteration: "clashed continuously in a cacophonous cadence of complex kata and competent coordination."
 * And Knowing Is Half the Battle: The Sailor V Says segments. Played for Laughs.
 * Anything That Moves: Haruna.
 * As Long as It Sounds Foreign: In-universe, Harley Quinn when trying to speak Japanese.
 * Attack Its Weak Point: Misa in the fight against
 * Badass Boast:

"Akira: "MERCURY WAVE! HEAVY RAIN! VERY BIG STORM! FORM OF A WATER BUCKET! TSUNAMI! HYDRO-PUMP! DROWN, YOU EVIL THING! Ummm... BUBBLES! DEADLY BUBBLES! ROLLING BUBBLES! MERCURY BUBBLES!" (finally gets it right)"
 * Tsukuyomi later says the same speech almost exactly word for word.
 * Badass Normal: From a purely mage-rating of 'normal', Nekane. She kept up with Deadpool! Then again, she IS a Springfield...
 * Barbie Doll Anatomy: Seen when.
 * Batman Gambit: Haruna's father sent her to an all girl school when he found out she was homosexual. He did this in hopes of making her straight or at the very least bi. She laughed at his weird logic.
 * Bedlam House: Arkham Asylum, as usual.
 * Big Damn Heroes: Itoshiki Nozomu. Seriously. It has to be seen to be disbelieved...
 * Haruna manages does in Chapter 22 and NEARLY pulls it off.
 * Biggus Dickus: Haruna . It Makes Sense in Context.
 * Bilingual Bonus: All the Spanish in the story actually makes sense. Justified, in that the primary writer is from Venezuela (allegedly).
 * The Joker also speaks a variety of languages, such as German and Filipino.
 * Bi the Way: Satomi and Chisame, judging by the former's sleep-mumblings and some of our peeks into the latter's thoughts.
 * Blatant Lies: "This won't be a fully fledged crossover at all." (Though possibly unintentional)
 * Word of God: It wasn't intended to be that way at first.
 * Bodyguard Crush: Setsuna's crush on Konoka lives on.
 * Matoi has shades of this with Chisame as of chapter 38, though she might also count as an inversion: she got the crush first, then started acting like a bodyguard after.
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: Usually content with merely leaning on it, but the scene at the movie theater definitely falls into this.
 * Other characters will also comment about how they are no longer the protagonists, and complain about the protagonists getting all the attention.
 * Fuuka at one point comments how the fic has too many characters.
 * Breast Expansion: Used by Negi  It Makes Sense in Context.
 * Brick Joke: At the end of Chapter 22, Negi realizes very belatedly he's the only teacher who didn't get an end-of-term bonus. Chisame tells him to go back to sleep.
 * Butt Monkey: Chamo, although Chisame also has her moments. Itoshiki too.
 * Cardboard Prison: Again, Arkham, lampshaded in the Christmas Special.
 * Calling Your Attacks: spoofed by Akira, who goes throug a whole string of water-sounding magical attacks before getting the right one.

"Chisame to Negi after : "What if you had died?-! We'd have been in despair! Your death would have left us in despair!" Itoshiki: "And those are my catchphrases...""
 * Harley Quinn fails at it repeatedly, possibly because the one she's trying to use isn't hers.
 * Casual Danger Dialogue: happens all the time. Culminates in, where Misa takes the time to comment about how every other thing says is a sexual innuendo... while being chased.
 * Catch Phrase: Nozomu, of course, has his "Despair! X has left me in despair!", but lately everyone has been using some variation of it.

""DESPAIR! LACK OF DESPAIR WOULD DRIVE ME TO DESPAIR!""
 * Played with at the end of the dodgeball game, where he actually praises his class for losing, resulting in him for once NOT being in despair...

"Nagato: "Unfortunately, it is equipped with high-level moe anti-destruction countermeasures that I have been unable to overcome, so I have not been able to fully delete her yet.""
 * Character Development: Word of God notes that this will happen to Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei characters, unlike their canon selves.
 * Christmas Episode: Slightly out of the blue, as previous chapters had no mention of the season...
 * Clothing Damage: evoked by Samura Mei during the first part of Misa's training.
 * Cool and Unusual Punishment: Harumi keeps members of the manga club in line by threatening to have them make doujin of Shadow Crystal Mage fics...
 * Covert Pervert: Shiho, if her mutters in dreams are any indication. Hakase too.
 * Crapsack World: it's subtle, but you have Haruhi Suzumiya sharing the same breathing space as Powerpuff Girls Z, Magneto in the same world as Superman, Chisame's other option for schools was Ohtori Academy, Belldandy is currently doing a Lilith impression at the Western Air Temple under the care of Afura Mann, the Great Grail is located somewhere in the vicinity of Mahora and is apparently active, the only ones who seem aware of Kosmo Entelekhia are supervillains, Kinomoto Sakura is in Mahora, and ITOSHIKI NOZOMU can use magic. If it's not a crapsack world, it's one bad sneeze away from ending up like that. Every iteration of the timeline previous to this is implied by Chao to be as bad or WORSE! That's not even getting into the ORIGINAL timeline she came from, where apparently everyone died when Averruncus 4 to 6 showed up...
 * The world visited by  in Lesson 26 comes off as this for her. And for good personal reasons.
 * Crazy Prepared: subverted. During the blackout, Itoshiki makes notes as to improvements to be made for next blackout, such as issuing the teachers flare guns in case of emergency such as, say, getting attacked by the local vampire when all the phones are out.
 * Crossover: of Negima and other anime series, obviously, but recently the series has crossed over with fellow Negima fanfics Decadent Habits, Mahou Sensei Anya, Nerima Magistra Nelly Magi, and Takamachi Nanoha of 2814. Word of various gods- literally, in Shadow Crystal Mage's case- says that these crossovers are all canon to their respective fanfics.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Yet again, 2814!Negi makes Quartum his bitch.
 * Dark Magical Girl:
 * Darker and Edgier: For some characters and subplots.
 * Death by Adaptation:  Even before the plot starts!
 * Demoted to Extra: Several characters who once were protagonists of their own series are now, naturally, reduced to cameos or secondary roles.
 * Department of Redundancy Department: ""Ewww…" Chisame 'ewww'ed."
 * Does Not Like Shoes: Cocone's tendency for this is actually made the subject of a quick gag in the Christmas chapter.
 * Also, Kuchiki Rukia.
 * Drives Like Crazy: Leigharch and Yukari-sensei.
 * Dude, Where's My Respect??: Negi beats Evangeline... and no one seems to notice. Even WITH Itoshiki there to serve as a witness.
 * Dying Declaration of Love:  to   at Library Island. Luckily,   didn't die. Unfortunately,   wasn't there to hear the declaration.
 * Even Crazy Has Standards: As crazy as everyone finds themselves being (Even classes 2-A and 2-F), they all take great comfort in knowing that they're not likely to sink as low as "that Suzumiya weirdo".
 * 2-F is proud of the fact that, class full of monsters that they are, they're not "disgusting pedophile perverts" like 2-A.
 * Sorry, pedophile perverts and an old-man chaser.
 * Everyone, even Satsuki is disgusted at the revelation that Matoi once stalked dated a Fanfic Writer.
 * Chigusa takes good care of the sexually innocent Sextum not getting to listen to Tsukuyomi's disturbing backstory.
 * Evil Counterpart: Arkham Asylum is implied to be Mahora's. Really.
 * Evil Laugh: The Joker and  engage in a duet of this right after the later is revived.
 * Eye Scream: for hurting Sakurako, Hakase threatens to skull-fuck 2-F with an extra large vibrator she made herself.
 * Also, at one point,
 * Failure Is the Only Option: Assuming that we should take all the omakes, references and crossovers seriously, Chao has been trying this at least 666666 times, often leading to vastly different results, yet she still hasn’t acheived her objective. Also, she’s still aging (though obviously at an incredibly slow rate), making it impossible for her to keep trying forever, even if it weren’t for the fact that she’s threatening the multiverse and practically everyone with time-travel knowledge up to The Joker are trying to stop her.
 * Fan Service
 * Fantasy Kitchen Sink: Negima mixed with... well, everything from the DCU, Marvel, Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei, Evangelion and the bloody Nasuverse...
 * Five-Bad Band: The Kyoto Group.
 * The Big Bad: Chigusa.
 * The Dragon: Sextum.
 * The Evil Genius: Mad Hatter.
 * The Brute: Kotaro.
 * The Dark Chick: Homura.
 * Sixth Ranger Traitor: Tsukuyomi.
 * Five-Man Band: Joker-chan's Magical Girl Team.
 * The Hero: Joker.
 * The Lancer: Mockingbird.
 * The Smart Guy: Miss Freeze.
 * The Big Guy: Clayface.
 * The Chick: Riddler.
 * The Sixth Ranger: Batgirl.
 * The Mentor: Brainiac.
 * Full-Frontal Assault: 2814Kuro to Unequally!Tsukuyomi.
 * Fun Size Body: Asakura Ryoko is currently reduced to her miniature chibi form from The Melancholy of Haruhi-chan after Nagato destroyed her for trying to kill god Kyon. The only reason Nagate hasn't destroyed her completely is because Ryoko has apparently made herself too cute to be destroyed.

"Negi: ", come back! I need to give you some anatomy lessons...""
 * Gratuitous Foreign Language: So far, Spanish, German and Filipino have made an appearance, on top of the Latin originally seen in Negima.
 * Genius Bruiser:
 * Genre Savvy: It's Chisame after all, plus the fic is writen by someone who hangs out at this site, and assisted by Shadow Crystal Mage.
 * Wrong Genre Savvy: In Chapter 23, Asuna puts together the fact that Chisame has a nude transformation sequence, a wand and uses magic... and comes to the conclusion she is a Sex Ninja.
 * Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: How is able to escape Arkham on Christmas Eve. Metatextually, the author of this fic mentions that the chapter with  kissing was the one that got the most reviews.
 * Goofy Print Underwear: Negi wears Bob the Builder boxers.
 * Grievous Harm with a Body:  and a Monster of the Week pummel each other using Batman villain Amygdala as a blunt instrument.
 * Hadaka Apron: Satomi, at the advice of Haruna. Recently, also Homura and Matoi.
 * Hard Work Montage
 * Heroic Sacrifice:
 * Het Is Ew: In-universe example. Haruna and Harumi's take on fictional works, although Haruna is okay with any kind of coupling in real life.
 * Historical In-Joke: the Witch Gertrud is implied to have been the wife of Napoleon.
 * Hotter and Sexier.
 * How Do I Shot Web?: Akira after.
 * I Am a Humanitarian: Killer Croc.
 * Immortality: Itoshiki can only die of old age.
 * Implacable Man: Sabretooth, lampshaded by Natsumi.
 * Informed Ability: Matoi supposedly has a plethora of skills she's picked up by stalking people. So far, we've only seen a few: Dodgeball playing, and photography.
 * In more recent chapters give her lock picking, disabling Eva's dolls "ninja style", love powered super strength and hacking. Interestingly enough, when Eva calls her useless, Matoi can't think of any counter argument
 * She also has ninja skills, allowing her to JUMP FROM ONE MOVING TRAIN TO ANOTHER off-screen.
 * Innocent Fanservice Girl: Satomi. Doesn't realize why cooking Valentine's Day breakfast while wearing her glasses, an apron, and nothing else got such a reaction from Chisame and Negi.
 * Insane Troll Logic: Aino Minako trying to deduce Batgirl's identity.
 * Interspecies Romance: Boo-sensei and Mido-sensei . Yes, no joke.
 * Intimate Healing: Mana performs the Nude Body Warmth variety to prevent Negi and Shiho from falling ill during a rainstorm at the woods.
 * Jigsaw Puzzle Plot: Let's just say having a lot of subplots going on at the same time might leave a few readers confused.
 * Lampshade Hanging: Lots and lots of it.
 * Chisame comments about how unreasonable many people's actions are. She also comments how racist revenge vows as practiced by Uchiha Sasuke and Batman are...
 * The Dodgeball game has everyone commenting about how they're breaking all sorts of rules.
 * The Joker cheerfully lampshades anything he can get away with. Him being the Joker, that's everything.
 * Large Ham: Evangeline and Itoshiki. The two even have a ham-off at one point.
 * Let's You and Him Fight
 * Lighter and Softer: While some characters and plotlines go the opposite way, the characters adopted from Neon Genesis Evangelion and Black Lagoon, amongst others, find themselves in this kind of setting.
 * Loads and Loads of Characters: The cast of Negima, PLUS many more.
 * Logic Bomb: Chachamaru drops one on a Golem at Library Island in Lesson 23 and it was funny.
 * Love Dodecahedron: Keeps getting bigger and more complex with each chapter, thanks in no small part to all the rampant Ship Tease.
 * Love Potion: Riddle me this, riddle me that - how hilarious can things get when it's that everyone falls in love with?
 * Very:

""No, wait, it happened there too, he told himself, remembering the incident with Anya, the dishwasher, and the garden hose. Not to mention the infamous event involving him, Anya, Nekane, that toaster, and a huge jar of butter. It had taken them one week to explain it to everyone, and three more to get Chamo to stop laughing.""
 * Mass "Oh Crap": The crowd gathered to watch the Cinema Village fights in Kyoto has this reaction when they realize that the Joker "cosplayer" is actually the real deal.
 * Meido: Ayaka's Maid team, including Fubuki, Roberta and Fabiola, Siesta and Taeko.
 * Monster of the Week: Used in some chapters.
 * My Beloved Smother: Homura to Makie.
 * Naked People Are Funny: The universe seems to waste no chance to strip Chisame down. It remains to be seen yet if Takane will outdo her in that regard when she enters the picture.
 * Takane has just been stripped for the first time in Lesson 29.
 * Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Chao doesn't know she has inadvertently poised the world at the brink of utter temporal annihilation. It's so bad Xellos and The Joker are trying to stop her, in their own twisted little way...
 * Noodle Incident / Noodle Implements: In Chapter 17, Negi wakes up sandwiched between Satomi and Chisame. He thinks to himself 'things like this never happened at Merdiana'.

"It didn't feel right at all. It was like someone had stuck the 110 volt universe into the 220 volt socket. He looked around nervously, afraid he'd suddenly start sexually attracting geriatrics."
 * Matoi's skills, which she learned via stalking, are either this or Chekhovs Skills.
 * Now or Never Kiss:.
 * Oblivious Younger Sibling: of a sort. Negi is completely clueless as to all the sexual tension and innuendo flying around him. This does not apply to swearing, however, even if it's in Spanish.
 * Older Than They Look / Younger Than They Look: Chronologically, Chao is negative 100 at most, she’s passing for a fourteen year old and mentally, she’s much older. Assuming that we should take all the omakes, references and crossovers seriously, she is mentally over a million.
 * Omake: has a lot of them, which are used to either flesh out the setting or show how the characters are changed from their canon selves by the reiterations.
 * Only Sane Woman: Chisame, of course, considers herself this...
 * Word of God says the only two actually sane people in the Unequally world are Madoka and Tate Yuuichi. The latter has only gotten three lines of dialogue so far.
 * OOC Is Serious Business: after receiving an ultimatum to have all 2-A pass or else, Negi is so depressed that Itoshiki-sensei is actually happy in comparison. Pink Supervisor finds the experience disturbing.

": "DAMN YOU! WHY?! WHAT DID I EVER DO! I WAS TEN! I'D DONE NOTHING, NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS! ANY OF THIS! You and your hacks kept saying if we believed in you, if we paid up with the church, if we sucked up to you, you'd protect us! That was the deal, right? If we joined your little protection racket, then you'd let the crops grow, protect us from demons, and we'd have a cushy place to go when we croaked! You said we'd be happy! THAT WAS THE FUCKING DEAL! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THIS HAPPENED TO ME?! WHERE WERE YOU FOR MY CLAN WHEN THE BLOOD OVERCAME ME? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I BEGGED FOR YOUR HELP TO CHANGE ME BACK? WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME FROM KILLING ALL THOSE PEOPLE? WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE TO PROTECT THEM, YOU BASTARD?! WHERE'S THEIR HAPPINESS? WHERE'S MY HAPPINESS?!" She screamed a child's scream of betrayal, of anger, wishing she had her power, wishing she could raze this place, bury its lies in her ice. Tears streamed down her face as she roared and asked the questions mankind has been asking, of itself, of other gods, of the universe, since time before memory."
 * Otaku: Nina Einstein, in a radical departure from her canon self.
 * Our Mermaids Are Different
 * Parental Incest:
 * Pilot Episode: Chapter 30/Lesson 26 is the first written appearance of Over Master's Magical Girl Gotham Supervillains AU world, which he's been trying to develop into a story.
 * Posthumous Character: See Death by Adaptation.
 * Puppy Love: Invoked by Haruna during the Christmas chapter.
 * In recent chapters, Quartum VEHEMENTLY denies he and Hoshino Ruri will end up like this. The Joker just winks at the audience. Make of that what you will.
 * Rage Against the Heavens: Sorta. The Christmas Chapter shows that Evangeline has become openly hostile to God and Jesus due to what They "allowed" to happen to her and all the suffering connected to that:
 * Rage Against the Heavens: Sorta. The Christmas Chapter shows that Evangeline has become openly hostile to God and Jesus due to what They "allowed" to happen to her and all the suffering connected to that:

""I'm in despair! The fact that this is my only appearance this chapter has left me in despair!""
 * Relationship Upgrade: Hakase and Sakurako are finally working on being a couple! The fic being what this is, it's not that simple...
 * Running Gag: The girls will sometimes come up with surprising information about fields they traditionally aren't good at, e.g. Hakase bringing up Shakespeare, and mentioning that 'They listen in class'.
 * Heads being chomped off, "OM NOM NOM NOM!" and Mami keep being referenced together.
 * Since his first appearance, Itoshiki Nozomu has appeared at least once an episode, even if only because he gets a funny feeling someone is using his catchphrases or stealing schnicht. He usually lampshades this.

""Half the class will be boasting, the other half will be angry, and they will all fight for weeks. It's the worst thing that could happen to me, so naturally, it will happen.""
 * Scenes, no matter how serious or humorous, always cut away to another character if that scene even remotely references something that other character does. The cutaway usually involves at least a sneeze.
 * Screw Yourself: Misa fantasizes about a foursome with both Negis and her alternate self. The Negis also almost kiss each other while asleep, to 2814!Asuna’s amusement.
 * In the same chapter, both  actually do have off-screen sex.
 * Recently, both Harunas have taken to fondling each other.
 * Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: From Hakase, naturally, though it's been cut back in recent chapters due to character development, and her actually trying to communicate with her sorta-kinda-maybe-finally girlfriend Sakurako.
 * Shadow Crystal Mage: a part of the creative process, and also part of his unceasing efforts to be on as many pages here as possible...
 * Ship Tease: By the bucketloads. Some are actually developed.
 * Called as such by some of the more Genre Savvy characters, like Haruna and the recently Joker-influenced Quartum.
 * Shipper on Deck: 2814!Haruna for  Also,   for Negi and Misora.
 * Shout-Out: Chapter 22 is chock full of them, from everything from Animaniacs to La Blue Girl...
 * Haruna uses the Subaru-edition of Divine Buster to knock out Kaere...
 * The chess game between Joker and is an almost line-by-line reference to a highly obscure Batman storyline called The Demon Laughs.
 * Many of the subtitles of the omake segments reference other fics, usually Negima fics or more (in)famous fics in other fandoms, though the content of the segment never really matches the content of the fic whose title it references. The 'Agony in Pink' segment, for example, is a fic about Makie's painfully horrible musical talent.
 * During the crossover segment, 2814!Negi keeps calling Unequally!Negi "mou hitori no boku".
 * Fanwork Within A Fanwork: Haruna is seen working on various doujin by OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage, and the visit to the Nerima universe mentioned doujin by OverMistress, Zephyria, and The Ansem Woman.
 * Skinship Grope: Haruna to Chisame. Also,
 * Sneezing: At nearly every opportunity.
 * Spared by the Adaptation: Washimine Yukio, Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin and Ikari Yui.
 * Stalker with a Crush: Tsunetsuki Matoi.
 * Take That: Several of them aimed at Twilight.
 * Taking a Third Option: The Dodgeball games has two possible outcomes as Itoshiki-sensei sees it: either his class wins, in which case they will be boasting for weeks; or it loses, and they'll be angry for weeks. When the possibility of a draw is mentioned...


 * It doesn't.
 * Teacher-Student Romance: It's Negima, though we have yet to see if it actually happens.
 * In a flashback, it did happen between
 * The Bad Guy Wins: The Cinema Village fights in the Kyoto Arc end with both Konokas getting kidnapped by the enemy.
 * The Little Shop That Wasn't There Yesterday: Urahara's, natch. Home to such lovely items such as Joker fish, Death Notes, and much much more!
 * The Virus: One of the "Orphans" has shades of this.
 * This Is Sparta: Kurosaki Ichigo uses a parody variation in the first Bleach crossover chapter.
 * Also 2814!Asuna's attack on the Witch Gertrud.
 * Timey-Wimey Ball: the end result of Chao going back to first year every time she fails during the school festival, resulting in the world as it currently is. One would think she'd learn the definition of insanity...
 * Training from Hell
 * Transformation Is a Free Action: played straight so far, but only because everyone is either too busy watching the resultant nudity of a Magical Girl (usually Chisame) transforming or can't believe their eyes and ask her if she knows she's providing a strip show.
 * Twin Threesome Fantasy: Misa has one of these when she sees the two Negis. Implied to be what's going through Matoi's head regarding the two Chisames.
 * Two-Teacher School: Massively averted. Other teachers from others series are shamelessly stolen to populate the staffroom.
 * Under the Mistletoe: played with to humorous effect. Itoshiki Nozomu is so traumatized from kissing Misora, he has divine visions...
 * Viewers Are Geniuses: A lot of the gags, cameos, puns and references are rather obscure and demand a good knowledge of manga, anime, comics and American animation and Television to be fully understood.
 * What If/ Elseworlds: The entirety of Chapter 37.
 * What Happened to the Mouse?: A lot of the early 'cameos' and subplots haven't been followed up on. Justified in that the story isn't about them.
 * Word of God says every subplot will be picked up at some point or another.
 * Wholesome Crossdresser: 2814!Negi, against his will..
 * Winds of Destiny Change: With those same exact words.
 * World Half Full
 * World of Badass: Ooh, definitely!
 * Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Scarecrow.
 * Yakuza Princess: Washimine Yukio. Ayaka is technically this, only without the Yakuza, due to her calling up mercenaries for every emergency her money can fix...
 * You Shall Not Pass:  in her Heroic Sacrifice.