Wall Banger/Fan Works


 * The Naruto fanfic A Different Path. It's an interesting twist on the Naruto story,  Neji... well, he's still a Jerkass. The first 11 chapters are well-written   However, once they return to Konoha,   But what worse, and I quote from a review:


 * In the Harry Potter fanfic Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness, the speed at which the Hogwarts students involved in Dumbledore's Army mature and suddenly become total adults makes no sense. First off they manage to develop solid, professional military discipline and how to run a military-style training program with no help from outsiders or a society with anything vaguely resembling a military force. While you would have Muggle-borns in Hogwarts none of them would have anything remotely resembling the experience necessary to train the DA into being prepared soldiers as quickly as they did especially since the bulk of military training revolves around breaking down the moral objections to killing and building up the necessary suppressed yet controlled rage to kill people. Also the speech out of one student's mouth for joining the DA to fight Voldemort sounds like they swallowed a polysci textbook and puked it back up, certainly not something most teenagers would come up with especially in a school that doesn't even teach political science and the history class is explicitly stated to be really boring.
 * Also, this is the fic series where on two occasions rape victims comforted by sexualised acts initiated by men. It's a throwaway line in DAYD itself, where, just after her rape is avenged - without consulting her, and ignoring her fears about her family - by the men, is found having sex with her boyfriend. The one shot More Realer is worse: In DAYD's sequel, Sluagh,   spends about 5 chapters being tortured and raped, described in graphic detail, finally setting herself on fire to escape (she got better). In the one-shot,   basically forces himself on her, and she accepts this, because up to that point, he'd been patient about her request not to have sex. She's flinching away, but he just keeps massaging her shoulders, applying sensual kisses, and all sorts of things, all without her consent. Ugh!
 * Let's take another look at that "vengeance". Neville calls in Ernie, Sean, Terry, and Michael. Notice who's absent: any women at all. Not even Ginny, his own lieutenant (or, if you're going by canon, the one actually in charge). When they actually barge in on Crabbe and Goyle (because of course only ugly people are rapists), is hardly mentioned by name. The boys simply take turns showing off their muscles (literally!) and taunting the duo being punished. The rape seems less an avenged act and more a justification. How much more trivializing can you get?
 * Oh, and let's not forget Hannah. Not only does Thanfiction claim she only looked a bit plump in the books because of the school robes, and she's actually supermodel thin; but he makes her psychotically crazy, attempting to kill Neville because she thinks he's dating Ginny. This is before her first date with Neville.
 * And another thing: Snape. Having agreed to kill Dumbledore because someone would need to keep the students safe when Voldemort took over in Half-Blood Prince, in DAYD, he attempts to murder multiple students, and tortures them and others to the extent that someone tries to mercy kill one of his victims. Completely Missing the Point, and derailing his entire character arc.
 * Chapter 10 is especially bad. Colin Creevey was splinched after he apparated with his brother. In canon, Ron passed out seconds after losing some of his skin. Colin loses a hand and not only does he cover the wound with duct tape, he is able to contact the Army and hide the wound from everyone. And instead of getting help, they decide to do a blood transfusion. Death Eaters come to the place that they are hiding, at the house of a Muggle friend of the Creeveys, who they leave to die instead of a Sidealong Apparition. And then Neville berates him right after he recovers.
 * Hell, even Thanfiction seems to have realized the beratement went too far - when Neville leaves the room afterwards, Arthur Weasley slams him against a wall and tries to unmask him as a Death Eater.
 * The DAYD-verse is just full of Wallbangers.
 * In response to Pluto's "demotion" many fanfics featuring Sailor Pluto were made. Among other oddities, they often featured Sailor Moon firing Sailor Pluto because she wasn't a planet. A moon... firing a dwarf planet... for not being a planet. Yeah... Besides this, many, many Senshi didn't represent planets at all. Pallas, Juno and Vesta didn't even represent dwarf planets; the Starlights are implied to represent moons; Galaxia and Cosmos represent far larger structures then planets; and, well, Chibi Moon. It's implied every astral body can have a Senshi, so why would its label matter?
 * The infamous Zelda Self-Insert Fic My Inner Life has a scene where Jenna and Link sit down in a tavern after a long journey through a desert. Fine, right? It is, until you realize that Jen is about 6 or 7 months pregnant with her second child, and shouldn't be going through a desert full of dragons anyway. The worst part is that she gets completely drunk off of Griffin Spice Ale while pregnant and doesn't give an Octorok's fart. And neither does Link. Or anyone else in the tavern.
 * Perhaps even worse is the part when Jen goes to a healer and finds out she's pregnant. The advice the healer gives? "Get lots of rest, eat healthy, and have lots of grunting tiger sex to make the baby strong."
 * While the main story of the late Trek Wars: The Furry Conflict was very good, the Captain's Log at the end of Episode One has to qualify for this: "Peace between the Federation and Empire has been established. For today. But the furry conflict is only beginning." WHAM!
 * The series Hogwarts Exposed has Wallbangers that are not only contrived and stupid, but also extremely disgusting and disturbing. One nasty example is in the third chapter of Hogwarts Underexposed, when Jamie has been rescued from an extremely horrific abduction and torture session (the results of which are described in almost loving detail by the author). Given all of that, it's quite understandable that Jamie feels uncomfortable being physically affectionate with her steady boyfriend and holding to her nudist lifestyle. And then she's visited by her friend Amanda, who instantly begins to lecture Jamie about how wrong it is that she doesn't want to run around naked and have sex after having been tortured and (implied) raped. She also guilts Jamie by going on about how it's unfair to the boyfriend that she isn't putting out. Oh, and even worse? Amanda herself had been knocked out and nearly raped and had clearly been terrified by the event! And yet she doesn't understand that Jamie needs more than a few days to recover from what happened to her? What? Of course, that's about par for the author's understanding of the mind of a rape victim. An earlier story had a shy eleven year old girl nearly be raped by her father and immediately respond by taking up nudism, losing all previous insecurities she had with being naked in front of others.
 * The sequel (yes, it exists) takes it to the next level with a new first-year at Hogwarts who's Jamie's sister or something like that. On the train ride to Hogwarts, she and Jamie are sharing the cabin with a new first-year and then, for some reason, they wind up stripping themselves while on the ride. This makes the girl uncomfortable. Jamie and her first-year sister then proceed to essentially bully the girl, lecturing her about how society shoves the "wear clothes" practice down your throat and how it bullies everyone into adhering to it. During said lecture, whenever the girl tries to speak up Jamie and her sister proceed to talk her down into silence while continuing their drivel-laden lecture. But there's good new to all this: After reading that shite, this troper was able to watch On Deadly Ground with a new appreciation for just how bad Author Tracts can go...
 * It Gets Worse. The sister, Emily, and the first year, Kim, wind up as Slytherins together. Because of one incident (Kim having to run to the bathroom naked, first thing in the morning, to take a leak), Emily convinces her that she'll have to pretend to be a nudist while in the dorm, which means that the shy Kim is essentially bullied into marching around naked in front of her dorm mates, several of whom are rude and spiteful towards her. Oh, and the entire reason for this charade? Because Kim is trying to hide the fact that she wears Powerpuff Girl underpants. Because clearly there isn't an easier solution than that!
 * And that's to say nothing of the author's depravity, clearly not seeing how disgusting it is that he's putting underage girls through this sort of lifestyle, whether it be their Nymphomaniac lifestyle or whatever. Anyone who pointed this out he insulted and derided as "intolerant."
 * Neville indecently assaulting Hermione in Chapter 12.
 * ...What?! WHAT THE HELL
 * I only wish I was joking.
 * The Undocumented Features sidestory "Justice and Mercy" could qualify for inclusion from the get-go, with a scene shoving Kei and Eiko through the Chickification wringer. But what truly kills it comes later. One of the main characters sees a group of orphans beating up another orphan. His response? Go into giant-robot mode and kill their ringleader. This isn't hyperbole - he explicitly thinks to himself that the kid will not survive impact after being kicked into the sky! Sure, the kid was a bastard, but does that justify murder? Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Doubling the damage: the orphans being abused are Yakko, Wakko and Dot under slightly different names. This is played dead straight.
 * All He Ever Wanted: For some readers, the point where they gave up on the fic was when Prussia raped Austria in front of a chickified Hungary. For others, it was when Hungary taught Liechtenstein how to be a better sex slave to Prussia.
 * Harry Potter and the Invincible Technomage:
 * Early in the fic, Harry says the term "Muggle" is condescending. Keep in mind he's been in the Wizarding world a matter of hours. He suggests using something more egalitarian, like "Normal" or "Mundane", after pointing out that Wizards are abnormal.
 * This version of Harry is from the Marvel Universe, where 'mundane' or 'normal' are the polite terms for people without superpowers. He is, like any other recent immigrant, having his initial reactions to a new culture being based off what he learned in his old one.
 * Later on in the fic, during a custody hearing (that itself required a number of contrived circumstances), Harry threatens to bring down the wrath of god on the Ministry. Specifically, Thor. In other words, he threatens government officials with bodily harm because they made a decision he didn't agree with. That's the sort of thing Voldemort would do and canonically has done, but Harry's supposed to be the good guy.
 * 'A decision he didn't agree with' is a bit of an understatement. A more accurate rendition would be 'A decision that in the real world would be considered an act of war'. When government A kidnaps a citizen of government B to force said citizen to fight in government A's wars for them against his will -- well, shit. The War of 1812 started when the British did that to US sailors. So, saying 'Look, keep this bullshit up and I will get my ally, Asgard, to unleash the can of whoop-ass on your government', is actually a proportionate response.
 * Also, the fanfic specifically mentions that Harry had no actual intention of attacking Magical Britain, and picked Thor precisely because Thor had enough temper control to not actually hit anyone, as opposed to what would have happened if he'd picked, oh, Hercules. It was all a bluff.
 * Throughout the fic, Harry and Marvel characters seem to have carte blanche to be jerks to Harry Potter ones, even when they're wrong. (The fic goes out of its way to make HP characters "wrong", outright ignoring its own canon in some circumstances.) Apparently it's only "bad business" to needlessly antagonize people part of the time.
 * The key word is 'needlessly'. Remember that this is Tony Stark we're talking about here; he's an experienced enough businessman to know that you don't piss in someone else's coffee as a way of starting out negotiations, but he's also enough of a hothead that if someone else pisses in his coffee first then something just started that's not gonna stop until somebody gets repulsored in the face. In pretty much every confrontation in the fic between the Potterverse and the MU, its the Potterverse characters that metaphorically or literally threw the first punch. Of course, as this is a fanfic with the 'Manipulative Dumbledore' fanon and 'Stupidly Officious Ministry of Magic' canon both in full use, that's hardly surprising.
 * Forward Momentum was doing so well right up until The Two Ivans, when Unfortunate Implications came into play. To wit, Basically, you might want to skip that story, since it seems more about torturing Ivan than anything else.
 * Fallout Equestria: