Donkey Kong Country (video game)/Funny

Video Games
""Look at the fancy box. Look at the size of this instruction manual. You don't think they would have gone to all this trouble if the game was any good, do you?!""
 * The Donkey Kong Country series has a few moments:
 * DK and Diddy falling out and beating each other up at the end of Donkey Kong Country. An example: Diddy bites DK's finger, after DK dropped a merciless punch on the top of the monkey's head.
 * "Rattle Battle" in Donkey Kong Country 2, in which the player spends the level as a giant bouncing coiled snake with buckteeth, bouncing on enemies' heads while the most insane Benny Hill-esque music plays.
 * In Donkey Kong Country 3, after beating KAOS for the second time, K. Rool appears and says "Oh no! My wife is going to kill me! I used all her best pots and pans to build him!"
 * Donkey Kong Country Returns: The intro cinematic. After hypnotizing the rest of the animals to steal DK's banana hoard, one of the Tikis tries to put the ape under his thrall. Cue the beginning of the first stage, where DK promptly sends the Tiki enemy flying.
 * Donkey Kong Country Returns has a rocket barrel level where you end up being attacked by bats. At the end of the level, a giant bat bursts through the floor and roars at you. In response, DK just gives him an annoyed wave off and gets back to flying. When it starts chasing him at the end, he face palms. It's a little touch that's completely hilarious.
 * This troper always gets a chuckle out of hearing the enemy Kremling death screams in DKC2 and DKC3. "AUGH!"
 * Believe it or not, Diddy gets his own ending if you beat the final boss as him in DKCR. But you ask, how can little Diddy send the Moon into Tiki Tong's Tower? Well, he uses his head, meaning he sees the moon, panics, and activates his jetpack while trying to run in the air. Only for his jetpack to malfunction, sending him headfirst into the moon.
 * Anything that comes out of Cranky Kong's elderly mouth on the Instruction Books. Some examples...

Animated Series
"Krusha: I can find out... Boom It's an exploding barrel, all right...
 * In "Klump's Lumps", Klump is fired by King K.Rool and replaced by Krusha. As a test, K.Rool points out a barrel and asks Krusha to figure out whether or not if it is an exploding barrel...

K.Rool: (Sarcastically) Oh, goody! Blind obedience! Oh look, General! Another barrel!"

""There, how could Candy possibly resist me now? [looks at comb] What's this? HAIR!? MY HAIR!??! AAAHHHH!!! My hair's falling out!"
 * Bluster's panic attack when he thinks his hair is falling out in "Hunka Hunka Burning Bluster":

[Later]

"I can't use this. So what if I've lost a bit of hair? [looks at comb again] AAHHHH! MORE HAIR!! I'm shedding!""

"Dixie: I'm looking for my pet crab, Dids. I can't find him anywhere.
 * Diddy literally Getting Crap Past the Radar in "Get a Life! Don't Save One!":

Diddy: Ah, never fear, Diddy's here! Just show a hor de'voure plate in front of me and I can find a crab with my eyes closed. HERE, CRAPPY! CRAPPY! HERE, CRAPPY, CRAPPY!

Dixie: It's Crabby!"

"K. Rool: Once again, I, King K. Rool, have done the impossible. What do you think, Klump?
 * K. Rool's annoyance with Klump's jumping-jacks dance in "Oragutango":

Klump: [does his jumping-jacks dance]

K. Rool: I wish you wouldn't do that!"

"K. Rool: Now let me see, what do I want? To be ruler of all of Kongo Bongo Island? That sounds good...
 * Leading to this payoff when K. Rool wins a wish on the Coconut:

Cranky: It's not your fault, Donkey Kong.

Klump: [does his jumping-jacks dance]

K. Rool: I WISH YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT!

Cranky: Hahahahaha! Looks like you got your one wish, K. Rool!"

"Krusha: Only 500 more points to beat your record, your croc-ship.
 * Klump pushing K. Rool's Berserk Button by messing up his computer game in "Buried Treasure".

K. Rool: Come on, come on, come on!!!

Klump: [appears on the computer, erasing the game] General Klump, King K. Rool sir! Y'read me, your high 'n mightyness? ...Looking a little pale there, chief!

K. Rool: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [smashes the computer]

Klump: [calling on cell phone] Chief? You there, chief? Seems we had some sort of interference."

"Cranky: ...Ants! First bees, and now ants! Blast! (Gives chase) Come back here, you thieving insects! Uurrrroarrgggghhh!"
 * Also the frequent interruptions to Cranky's vacation. To start with, he first gets attacked by a swarm of bees. After he traps the bees in a bottle of banana soda, his sandwiches run off.

"Cranky: I think I just spotted Eddie!
 * In "Cranky's Tickle Tonic", Funky is flying Cranky to the White Mountains to administer the titular tonic to Eddy, the Mean Old Yeti. Unfortunately, the engine from the plane is so loud Cranky's instructions can't be heard.

Funky: I am ready, dude!

Cranky: Not 'ready'! Eddie!

Funky: Not ready yet? Just say when!

Cranky: Isn't there something you can do so we can communicate!?

Funky: (Turns off engine) All right, let's communicate.

Cranky: What'd you do?

Funky: Turned the engine off.

Cranky: So what's holding us up?

Funky: Like...nothin'."

"Bluster: May I have another [vote]?
 * Bluster trying to vote twice in "Vote of Kong-fidence":

Cranky: Sorry Bluster, one vote each! That's how it works.

Bluster: You mean I get the same number of votes as him?! [pointing to Eddie the Yeti] And you call this a democracy!"

"Cranky: Nah, as long as I have my big stick here, no one will mess with me!
 * The ending of "Barrel, Barrel, Who's Got the Barrel?" K.Rool's latest scheme has been foiled, and the Crystal Coconut has been returned. Donkey Kong questions the logic of keeping the Coconut someplace so accessible, but Cranky waves him off.

(Eddie bursts through the door, club in hand. DK, Diddy, and Cranky make Oh Crap faces.)

Diddy: Unless it's someone with an even bigger stick!

(Cut to the outside of Cranky's cabin.)

Eddie: Me, Eddie! (Cabin begins shaking)

DK, Diddy, and Cranky: The Mean Old Yeti! Auugghh!"

"Klump: Did you hear that?
 * The Ho Yay during "Four Weddings and a Coconut".

Krusha: Uh, hear what?

Klump: "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"!

Krusha: Me?

Klump: No, you non-commissioned nincompoop! Donkey﻿ Kong!

Krusha: You want to marry Donkey Kong?

Klump: NO! Donkey Kong's getting married! We gotta tell King K. Rool immediately!

(Later...)

K.Rool: Who did you say was getting married?

Krusha: Me and Klump.

Klump: Uh, pay no attention to him, sir."

"K. Rool: They didn't invite me?! Oh, that's so unfair! What's wrong with me?! Haven't I always tried to be a good enemy to Donkey Kong??
 * From the same episode, when K. Rool thinks he hasn't been invited to the wedding:

Klump: Uh, permission to invite you as my date, your party-pooperness?

K. Rool: NO, NO, NO! Now they've insulted me! I wouldn't go to that wedding if they begged me to go!

Klump: Well, I'll save ya a piece of weddin' cake, sir."

"K. Rool: Think of the possibilities, Klump. Do you realize the things I could do with the Crystal Coconut in one hand and the Golden Banana in the other?
 * From "Raiders of the Lost Banana":

Klump: Um... eh, juggle?"

"Bluster: The Barrelcopter! Mummy'll be livid!
 * Also, this dialogue after the curse of the Golden Banana causes Bluster's Barrelcopter to crash into Cranky's cabin;

Cranky: Your mummy can take a number. I was livid first!

Candy: What about me?

Bluster: What about you?

Candy: I'm livid!

Cranky: You can be livid later, now get this thing out of my house!"

"Cranky: Well, whaddya know... (SLAM!) It wasn't a trick after all!"
 * The entirety of "Bug A Boogie".
 * In one episode, DK and Diddy borrow Funky's plane. It goes off the tree house runway...and falls straight down, then flies all over the place.
 * The montage of Klump and Krusha being kicked out of the tree house as they try to return the Crystal Coconut. When they finally manage to deliver it, Cranky takes it...and slams the door in their faces.

"Klump!Candy: You'd better not have damaged that body, you slimy tadpole!
 * Despite its cliched premise, The Big Switcheroo, is amazingly funny, particularly surrounding the flip between Candy and Klump:

Candy!Klump: You call this a body? I eat pretzels fatter 'n this!"

"Cranky: You're never going to believe this, Bluster. DK and the robot have switched brains. The robot has DK's brain!
 * Heck, even the head-pun scene is So Bad Its Good.
 * Then there's this exchange when Cranky realizes what happened to the robot he built for Bluster.

Bluster: In that case, I should expect a discount."