Brütal Legend/Funny

Crowner

"Eddie: Wanna make out before we hit the water? Ophelia: In your DREAMMMMMMMMMMS!"
 * Some of the reactions as Eddie is about to die, usually after driving to his inevitable death are priceless. In particular, when Ophelia's in the car.

"Worm: *screams at Eddie* Eddie: Ugh! Smells like a whale... ate some cabbage... then died in your mouth... like a year ago!"
 * There are many but here's a favorite, which occurs while fighting the giant worm boss:

"Doviculus: Come to me once you grow a pair as big as your mother's. (Doviculus leaves.) Eddie: I hope he was talking about horns."
 * There's Doviculus' line after you win the Tainted Coil stage battle.

"Guardian of Metal: You've interrupted the Guardian of Metal's nap! Guardian of Metal: The Guardian of Metal is getting just a little bit sick of all this. Guardian of Metal: You're still alive?! *rubs the bridge of his nose*
 * Most of the moments involving the Guardian of Metal:

Guardian of Metal: Every time I see you, there's another fucking scratch on that beautiful car!

Guardian of Metal: ...

Eddie: (raises eyebrow)

Guardian of Metal: ...WHAT IS IT?!"

"Guardian of Metal sculpture - "Oh, no, who put this in here?", and when you purchase it, "I hope you're not embarassed." Ace of Hades paint job - "Oh, I hate puns." Bolt Thrower - "Why don't you make someone else ride your lightning for a change?" Drowned Ophelia sculpture - "Oh, the young ones and their make-up..." Bone Wagon paint job - "That's grim."
 * Some of the Guardian's store pitches are hilarious.

Chrome paint job - "Shiiiny!"

Second armor augmentation - "Well someone's paranoid!""

"Son Bat: My ass is getting sunburned. (after beating the secondary mission) Daughter Bat: Oooh, look at all the blood! *flies into cave with brother* Mom Bat: *kisses Eddie on the cheek* Nice to have a man around sometimes. Dad Bat: I HEARD THAT! Oh, by the way, sorry I took a shit on your head, earlier. Eddie: What? Dad Bat: Nothing."
 * Watching a Headbanger fish is singularly entertaining.
 * Hell, Headbangers in general. Also, Bouncers; "I'm helping!"
 * The bat family was pretty funny, too.

"Eddie: Okay, I'll be back, covered in Metal God Love! Guardian of Metal: Oh god..."
 * Eddie's promise to the Guardian of Metal.

"Eddie: From this new vantage point I can totally see what the problem is. A bunch of gross fan leeches are eating our fans. Lita: We already knew that. Eddie: Silence, ground walker!"
 * When Eddie discovers how to use his wings:

"Headbanger #1: Wha-? What is that sound!? Headbanger #2: It's a devil screaming... Headbanger #3: It's an angel singing! Headbanger #1: It is the pounding of creation's hammer upon the anvil of time... Headbanger #3: It's fucking awesome!"
 * "Ewwww! You are the DEFINITION of 'butter-face'!"
 * When the Headbangers first hear the gift of Metal.

"Headbanger #1: Lionwhyte sucks! Headbanger #2: Death to Lionwhyte! Headbanger #3: I hate statues!"
 * And from the same scene, after Eddie commands the Headbangers to destroy a statue of Lionwhyte...

"(Re: the Spider Queen) But we don't go into her lair anymore, lest she bite us in half, suck out our innards, and lay her eggs in our eyesockets. (Bus is atacked en route to Drowning Doom territory) It's those Brides. I think they're giving us something blue. (During the To The Slaughter mission): That's a hell of a bird you've got there, Eddie. (attacked by Tainted Coil): Demon, I'm warning you! (attacked by Drowning Doom): Fuck off, zombie!"
 * Eddie and Ophelia. Running across a meadow to a Scorpions ballad. Staring dreamily into each other's eyes. Slaying demons with the world's goofiest smiles on their faces.
 * The Ozzy-Osbourne-headed bat.
 * "DECAPITATIOOOOOOON!" is extremely funny the first time.
 * He only does it with the Love Giver guitar, but hearing him shout "POWERSLIIIIIIIIIIIDE~!" when he does a...well, Power Slide never fails to get a chuckle.
 * Killmaster, due to Kilmeister's deadpan delivery of pretty much everything.

"Eddie (enemy avatar flees combat): Buk-buk-bukawk!
 * The Spider Queen line has a bonus CMOF. After he says it, the camera cuts back to Lars...while Eddie in the background has the most hilariously horrified look on his face.
 * It's a shame the unit chatter is often obscured by combat noise, because some units drop the funniest lines.

Headbanger: One point for you? I'm still ahead!

Headbanger: What a strange day, huh, fellas?

Headbanger (against Drowning Doom): That's for using a keyboard!

Headbanger: Eddie can take care of himself! What about helping me?!'

Headbanger: Who do you think is hotter: Lita or Ophelia?

Bouncer (near death): Must... Keep... Punching...

Screamwagon (when given an order): Like I give a shit.

Screamwagon (double team ends): Well, at least he talked to me. Which is more than I can say for you guys.

Screamwagon (double team): Can you help me? I was told I was signing up for a spa day!

Skull Raker (victory): What were they thinking?

Grave Digger (attacking Doviculus): You look like a fork!

Grave Digger (victory): Thank god, those guys were a pain!

Bride: (move order): Okay, let's walk in order of height!"

"I'm the wiener, you're the bun, get over here and lets have fun. Everything in that general direction must die! (Attacking a mortar operator) Hey! Knock it off with the cannon! (Using the Face Melter) Bet you wished you wore a bib cause now you've got face all over your shirt! (Using Bring It On Home) That pilot is gonna lose his job. (alternately: Oh no! The metal gods still use hydrogen!) Come, morning sun and vanquish my enemies as I enjoy eggs and bacon!"
 * Some good Eddie lines:

"Eddie: Dude, how about this? How about you take off your fucking diaper, lay down your little baby foo-foo, and GO DO YOUR FUCKING JOB??? Mangus: Not cool, man! I wear this thing so I don't have to stop the bus to take a leak!"
 * This line here:

"Eddie: *as "Girlfriend" is playing* I can fix anything...except THAT. Guy: Metal is dead."
 * From the intro:

"Eddie: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CLIMB ON THAT, YOU STUPID MOTHER--*message appears asking if the player wants swearing censored or uncensored*--FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!"
 * And who could possibly forget this?

"Lars: What can we do with men who have known nothing but to bang their heads against a wall for their entire lives? Eddie: (With tears in his eyes) We start a revolution, Lars. Now let us sound the battle cry! Lars: You've been looking at my sword, haven't you? Eddie: *glances downward quickly, then back up as Lars pulls out his sword*"
 * Lars being rather sceptical of Eddie's plan to recruit the Headbangers.


 * When you sneak up on the two Hair Bangers controlling the impalers in the Cleave of the Impalement, you can overhear them talking about their styling in terms of... "performance."
 * Putting Doviculus behind the mike in Stage Battles.