Smash School

""Woe was a hegehog like Sonic exept he had emo hair and was blak with dark blu streeks.""

- the opening line

Smash School is a Troll Fic set in the Super Smash Brothers universe, written by sonicluvr242 and Diabolical Pie. What makes this Troll Fic different from others is that there are two authors collaborating on it. One author (Diabolical Pie) is respectable and can write quite decently. She claims to not be incredible, when she really shouldn't be, since she isn't half bad. The other author (sonicluvr242) is your basic Troll Fic author. Reading her work has been shown to reduce IQ levels. So read at your own risk.

The story follows two points of view. Ana/Anna and Woe's (sonicluvr) and Ryan's (Pie)

sonicluvr's story starts with Woe, who is assumed to be an orphaned hedgehog because the story constantly mention his parents dying (or dyeing their hair?) in front of his very eyes. He's basically a Palette Swap of Sonic. Woe catches the bus and meets a girl named Ana (or Anna or Annna), who is a beautiful girl who has been revealed using a couple slips to be sonicluvr's Self Insert. Suddenly, Master Hand attacks the bus (with his hand), but is killed by Woe, who expresses his love for Anna. Then they go through school, learning their attacks. Over time, the two are subject to crossovers, zombies, and secret stones! Needless to say, it gets stupid quickly.

Pie's story is a lot less cryptic than sonicluvr's work. It follows a girl named Ryan who is unemployed and has to support her lazy father and the rest of her family. After catching her brother Shirley whacking it to Peach's underwear, Ryan is mysteriously sucked into the game. She tries to escape, but is mistaken for an escaped student. She attends the school, giving a clearer point of view to whatever sonicluvr writes.

The difference in writing ability could not last forever, though. By Chapter 12, Diabolical Pie couldn't take the lackluster writing ability of her friend, and the Fanfic exploded into full Civil War between the writers. Now we'll see whether this Fanfic can be salvaged into something semi-decent, or be condemned into the pit of terrible writing (though it could be So Bad It's Good if you're into that kind of stuff).

Read it here.

A Dramatic Reading can be found here.

Smash School contains examples of:

 * Absurdly Powerful School Security: The abusive R.O.B robots wouldn't survive in any real school.
 * Abusive Parents: Ryan has them.
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: Ryan's brother is caught "whacking it" to Peach's panties.
 * Alcoholic Parent: Ryan's dad is like this.
 * All Just a Dream: sonicluvr retcons Anna's death by saying Ryan dreamed Chapter 12. Apparently, Woe's death was also in Ryan's dream, despite that plot point being written by sonicluvr. Still, it's still some type of genius to hijack someone else's writing to Hand Wave your Plot Hole.
 * And Now for Someone Completely Different: Ryan's involvement in the story. This is one of the few times when it was an improvement over whoever was there originally.
 * Anyone Can Die: Random people get killed all the time. The deaths are always mentioned in one line only and are never mentioned again.
 * Woe, the protagonist was killed in Chapter 11 with barely a mention. Seems like it was retconned, though.
 * Artistic License Physics: How else can you explain the existence of a SKYQUAKE?!
 * Asshole Victim: After several chapters of putting up with the annoying Jerk Sue Anna, it seems oddly satisfying when Ryan beats Anna to death.
 * Back From the Dead: Woe is apparently still alive, according to the author annoncement after Chapter 11.
 * It was revealed in Chapter 14 that Woe's death was also part of Ryan's dream. There's no foreshadowing whatsoever for this point, and it's not even explained in the narrative (only through an author's note).
 * Beam Me Up, Scotty: In Chapter 14, sonicluvr claims that Sun Tzu (spelled Sun ZOO) said, ""Tha show must go on regadless of war...". Apparently, according to her, Sun Tzu was also Egyptian.
 * Bond Villain Stupidity: Robot Zombie Colins successfully manages to ambush the heroes. Instead of attempting to, you know, kill them, he says that he will make Woe so angry that Woe will get a Smash Ball attack and then attack him in single combat. Of course, that's what usually happens with this trope in effect, but never with the villain deliberately doing it.
 * Big Bad: Possibly Robot Zombie Collins, since he claims to return. But since this fic is completely bananas, this could be completely dropped...
 * Blood Knight: Ryan seems to be becoming this at the end of Chapter 12, meaning she might start getting more and more insane as the story progresses. Of course, it's not like anything else was sane to begin with in this story.
 * Burger Fool: Ryan used to work for one before getting fired, and then moved onto a local coffee shop, instead.
 * Butt Monkey: Pit's math equation constantly gets erased.
 * Driven to Suicide: Who then proceeds to jump out a window (despite having wings).
 * Canon Dis Continuity: Due to the second announcement, Woe's death in Chapter 11 is ignored, as evidenced with Anna saying that Woe will save her.
 * Captain Obvious: After the skyquake hits, everyone yells "IIIINNNN THA SKYYYYYYTTYY".
 * Civil War: With Diabolical Pie finally snapping under the sheer stupidity of sonicluvr's writing, war has broken out between the two writers.
 * Continuity Snarl: Taken Serial Escalation in Chapter 14. Big ROB was apparently killed by Ryan, and then flew off with zombie Colins. What's notable is that this is the same writer making this mistake, and makes it literally in one sentence.
 * Corporal Punishment: The teachers beat Ryan senselessly when she didn't do a "B Down" move, which she is incapable of doing as she isn't a video game character.
 * Corrupt Cop: All of the R.O.B robots.
 * Crossover: With My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic... or at least assumed so with "Dashin Rainbow" (Rainbow Dash) making an appearance.
 * Dark Fic: Assumed. Woe, after all, lost his parents and he's constantly moping about it. Of course, due to the way the Fanfic has been written, it doesn't read like a Dark Fic. Diabolical Pie does a better job at this.
 * Decoy Protagonist: Woe is apparently this. Yes, the same Woe that was the main character up until Chapter 11 is now revealed to be this, or at least forced into this due to real life circumstances (Read below).
 * Subverted Trope: Now that it was revealed that Anna and Mark are back together, Woe is apparently still alive, and will presumably resume as the "protagonist".
 * Depending on the Writer: Now that full civil war has broken out between the writers, the direction of the story could drastically change between the two authors.
 * Case in point: Anna is killed in Diabolical Pie's Chapter 12, and then in Chapter 14, sonicluvr reveals that it was All Just a Dream and then kills of Ryan.
 * Deus Ex Machina: "Dashin Rainbow" comes out of nowhere to assist the "heroes" in finding Big ROB.
 * Woe pulls out a random Smash Ball from his backpack to use against Robot Zombie Colins. After that doesn't work, he pulls another one and gives it to Rainbow Dash.
 * Department of Redundancy Department: This constantly happens. Many times, sonicluvr spells the same word differently with each extra time the word is used.
 * Did Not Do the Research: It'd be easier to list the things that are accurate about the game in this story.
 * sonicluvr calls Rainbow Dash "Dashin Rainbow", who is then called "Rainbow Dasher", which is... a little more accurate.
 * Disproportionate Retribution: Even though beating the resident Jerk Sue to death is oddly satisfying, this trope is still in effect considering that Anna hasn't really done much to Ryan herself. Not that we're complaining...
 * Doppelganger Replacement Love Interest: Sonic seemed to be becoming this to Anna, replacing Woe who got "bussed". Now that Woe's back, it's likely that this plot point will be dropped.
 * Dropped a Bridge on Him: Woe got ran over by a bus in Chapter 11. Literally in the next chapter, it is revealed that Mark and Anna are back together again, and now Woe is apparently still alive.
 * In Chapter 14, in response to Pie declaring war, Ryan dies after waking up from a dream. There's no cause of death either. Ryan just wakes up and dies.
 * Dysfunctional Family: Ryan's family in spades.
 * Everyone Hates Language Arts: sonicluvr really doesn't like Language Arts...
 * Everything's Deader with Zombies: Mr. Collins, the Language Arts teacher, is killed by Anna, but returns as "ZOMBE COLLEN"!
 * Extranormal Institute: It's a school for Smash Bros characters after all.
 * Evil Laugh: Robot Zombie Collins "cakled" when Woe and Anna's Smash Ball Attacks fail to harm him.
 * Fetch Quest: Big Rob bizarrely demands that Woe and Anna go fetch 101 "Secret Stones" for no apparent reason. Woe responds by punching him in the face, and and discovering a secret stone.
 * The heroes eventually decide to just go find Big ROB and ask him where the secret stones are. Considering Big ROB was the only guy who told them to get the Secret Stones in the first place, why the heroes don't just stop bothering with this is unknown.
 * Favoritism Flip Flop: Literally in the same sentence where Woe was condemned as a "big stupid jerk bitch", he was noted that he didn't get revived as a zombie because he wasn't a "doosh"
 * Subverted Trope: Then he was called a "doshbag' mere moments later.
 * Fingore: Ryan breaks all of Anna's fingers, twisting them while Anna screamed, before killing her.
 * Freak-Out: Chapter 12 seems to be Diabolical Pie's Freak-Out in Real Life. We can't blame her.
 * French Jerk: sonicluvr seems to subscribe to this trope with the comment that Pie likes "stuped french ppl".
 * Gender Blender Name: The daughter of the family is named Ryan. The son of the family is named Shirley. One can tell why they're a Dysfunctional Family.
 * He Knows About Timed Hits: Characters learning about their moves are shown to "Press B" for their attacks.
 * High School AU: Of the Smash Bros universe.
 * Holding Out for a Hero: Anna puts up no fight whatsoever, thinking that Woe will save her. Her mistake...
 * Incest Is Relative: Highly implied with the way Ryan was talking to her brother...
 * Informed Flaw: Woe was apparently being a Jerkass, which apparently justified him getting ran over by a bus, despite nothing in the story previously suggesting it (at least to Anna herself, anyways). Of course, he is revived soon after.
 * Made of Explodium: Master Hand explodes when hit by Woe.
 * Robot Zombie Colins turns into a bomb in Chapter 14... for some reason...
 * Monumental Battle: Chapter 14 takes place in the "gran kanyon".
 * Never My Fault: sonicluvr now blames Diabolical Pie for Woe's apparent death.
 * Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: By Chapter 9, the robots in the school were controlled by "Robot Zombie Collins".
 * No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Ryan beats Anna's face to a completely bloody pulp.
 * No Sell: Robot Zombie Colins is randomly immune to Woe and Anna's Smash Ball attacks. He claims to have "learned from last time". Rainbow Dash proved to be effective, though.
 * One Paragraph Chapter: Chapter 14 is a very painful example of this trope, and it was almost unreadable (or, more unreadable than normal). sonicluvr claims that it's due to using an iPod Touch for typing (despite claiming to be using the iPod for other chapters, all with paragraphs).
 * Only Sane Girl: Ryan within the story, pointing out all of the continuity errors, broken laws of physics, lack of research, and various other problems with the story. Outside, Diabolical Pie is definitely this compared to sonicluvr.
 * Out of Character: Lots... Dear GOD lots...
 * Outrun the Fireball: The heroes have to outrun a fireball at the end of Chapter 14, which was caused by a bomb that Robot Zombie Colins turned into.
 * Police Brutality: The robots routinely beat up and abuse various students who try to run away.
 * Power of Love: Which led to a secret stone, no less!
 * Rant-Inducing Slight: Diabolical Pie has exploded into a rage in Chapter 12, with her character, Ryan, beating Anna to death. It seems like all those months of putting up with sonicluvr's bad writing has finally caught up with her.
 * Real Life Writes the Plot: Apparently, the motivation for the death of Woe in Chapter 11 was due to Anna breaking up with her boyfriend Mark.
 * Revenge Fic: Now has shades of this, although this is directed at a real life person.
 * And furthering this trope, according to the author's annoncement, Mark and Anna are back together again, and apparently Woe either was revived or was never dead.
 * Now that Chapter 12 was released, it's apparent that there was some sort of falling out between Diabolical Pie and sonicluvr, as apparent in the author's note. As such, Ryan beats Anna to death. No telling how sonicluvr is going to respond.
 * Retcon: Now that Mark and Anna are back together again, Woe is apparently still alive. No idea how the story is going to explain how he did it, though.
 * Now that the two authors are at each others' throats, it looks like this trope will be used over and over again.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: With the numerous spelling errors in the story, this was bound to happen.
 * Sadist Teacher: The "disgusting lady" that mistakes Ryan for a student and forces her to attend class.
 * Schedule Slip: Mainly in Pie's updates since hers probably takes more effort. But justified in an announcement from sonicluvr stating that it was broken.
 * Straight Girl: Ryan in the story compared to everyone else. Meta example, Diabolical Pie compared to sonicluvr.
 * Switching POV: The Point of View has shifted before, but Chapter 11 is when this finally becomes blatant, as the whole story is now written in first person through Anna's eyes, instead of the third person that it was written in previously.
 * Thus ensuring that there is no doubt that Anna is the author's Self Insert.
 * This Means War: War has erupted between Diabolical Pie and sonicluvr, Pie in response to sonicluvr's terrible writing, and sonicluvr in response to Pie criticizing the writing.
 * Trapped in Video Game Land: Ryan gets sucked into the Smash Bros game.
 * Unexplained Recovery: Woe got ran over by a bus and destroyed by an earthquake. Somehow, according to the author's annoncement, he's back from the dead.
 * Ungrateful Bitch: sonicluvr views Pie as this, claiming that sonicluvr is the only reason for Pie's "clime to fame". Most people disagree...
 * Variable Terminal Velocity: Ryan falls from two stories up without any sort of injury whatsoever. This is, however, a rare case of this trope following previously established conventions.
 * Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: sonicluvr's comma use conforms to... about nobody else's comma use or style guide.
 * You're Just Jealous: Apparently, everyone's just jealous because of how beautiful Anna is (who is briefly referred to in first person).