Crazy Prepared/Quotes

"When you need it, but don't have it, you sing a whole different tune."

- Burt Gummer, Tremors 2

"Cpt. Lassard: You've all been trained in the latest techniques of law enforcement. Any of you have any special skills I should know about?

Tackleberry: I just learned to perform an emergency tracheotomy with a steak knife, sir."

- Police Academy 2

"Thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, dandruff brush, animal footprint chart, and one triple-thick condom. You never know."

- Duane Dibbley, Red Dwarf

"Professionals have standards: be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

- The Sniper, Team Fortress 2

"For example, there's a spell listed entitled Against every Wild Animal, Aquatic Creature and Robbers. In the event that you are simultaneously attacked by a wild bear, Aquaman and the Hamburglar, this spell will have your back."

- The infamous FATAL review

"Iron Man: Good shot, Hawkeye. I didn't even know you still had your lead-foil containment arrow.

Hawkeye: Never know when you're gonna run into Radioactive Man, Shellhead."

- JLA/Avengers

"Luckily, Ah say, Luckily, Ah keep mah feathers numbered for just such an occasion."

- Foghorn Leghorn

"Doc: Hey Sarge, do you have a, quote, "zombie plan," unquote?

Sarge: A zombie plan? Of course not!

Doc: See? I told you.

Sarge: I have thirty-seven different zombie plans!"

- Red vs. Blue, "Planning to Fail"

"The moment their arms spun freely in our air, they were doomed -- for man has earned his right to hold this planet against all comers, by virtue of occasionally producing someone totally batshit insane."

- Xkcd, when Don Quixote saves the world from windmill monsters

"Art: Does that say "in case of zombies"?

Pip: Hey, it'll happen. Be prepared."

- Sequential Art, in reference to some riot armour that Pip owns

""For Next Clue, Insert Original Declaration Of Independence Here" Damn! I only carry a copy with me!"

- Rick displaying a limit to his crazy preparedness, Rick and Steve

"In any event, I always have a backup plan."

- Brainiac, Justice League Unlimited

"[The spring-loaded decapitation device] was just a random thought I had. What if you had to do battle with your arms cut off? Sure, you'd hemorrhage to death pretty quick, but at least you could take your enemy with you!"

- Fred, Angel

"Rick Jones: Don't look so shocked. I always carry a miniature parachute with me in case I have to jump from an exploding Skrull saucer.

Bruce Banner: That's... that's ridiculous.

Rick Jones: Why? I needed to, didn't I?"

- The Incredible Hulk #375

"Nijima: "Shall I tell you why I'm number one in my group and you're just a number two?"

Berserker: "Go ahead. I'll listen if it makes sense."

Nijima: "Because you think of plots within plots. I think of plots within plots within plots!"

Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple"

"Batman: You know what I would have done? I would've thrown a batarang at him, then tied him up!

Superman: And what about the missiles?

Batman: Oh, I'd have some kind of Bat Missile Defence Gadget... on my belt.

Superman: Sure.

Batman: It wouldn't be a problem.

Superman: Dude, come on!

Batman: I would.

Superman: You use that utility belt scenario for every situation!

Batman: What's wrong with my utility belt?

Superman: Oh, nothing, nothing's wrong with it. Just, when you get a, uh, Fly-so-fast-it-reverses-time-itself Gadget on your belt, let me know."

- How Superman Should Have Ended

"An experienced Adventurer keeps an unpredictable assortment of magic nearby. It helps counter the unpredictable trouble that predictably befalls him."

- Adventurers Vault 2 on consumable magic items

"It wasn't easy to synthesize, Clark... Took years and cost a fortune. I had both."

- Batman explains why he's got, The Dark Knight Returns

"The simplest way to plan ahead is merely to be ready for everything."

- Pontifex, elder researcher, Magic the Gathering "Myr Adaptor" flavour text

"Usually I can't be surprised, but if I think I will be I wear a metal suit."

- "Ask Axe Cop" #38

"What, do you think I have a kit to purge evil spirits from a dog? (smirks) Because I do."

- Merton J. Dingle, Big Wolf On Campus

"Peter: You have a shotgun and silver bullets at home?!

Betty Brant: I'm a reporter for the Daily Bugle. I've seen stuff that would freak out Kolchak. Girl's gotta be prepared."

- Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man

"We remain convinced this is the best defensive posture to adopt in order to minimize casualties when the Great Old Ones return from beyond the stars to eat our brains."

- The Concrete Jungle

"Y'know, everyone's always told me that I'm paranoid and I need to calm down, but guess what? I'm alive, and everyone whose said that is dead!"

- Gordon Freeman, Freemans Mind

"Readiness is all."

- Shakespeare

"Yes! I had a sword built into Envy's dress in case of emergency! THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF GUY I AM!"

- Gideon, Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour

"Riff: Torg, why do you have emergency pants?

Torg: Don't know, but every hypothetical I've come up with, I'm glad I have them."

- Sluggy Freelance, April 8, 2002

"Expect the unexpected."

- Generally attributed to Heraclitus

"Lily: This whole thing stinks, I tells ya! It stinks!

Robin: Lily, are you really suggesting that Barney spent six months commuting back and forth to Hoboken to learn a signature cooking style of a restaurant he doesn't even like so he could win a bet he hadn't even made yet? (Beat) Yeah, the whole thing stinks."

- How I Met Your Mother, "The Ducky Tie"

"Adm. Josh Painter: What's his plan?

Jack Ryan: His plan?

Adm. Painter: Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan. And senior captains don't start something this dangerous without having thought the matter through."

- The Hunt for Red October, discussing Capt. Marko Ramius' plan to defect

"Be prepared, be prepared, this lesson must be shared

Be prepared, be prepared, be prepared

Be prepared, be prepared, and unless you've got a spare

You've got one life so handle it with care!"

- Hoodwinked

"It is at times like this that I wish I were one of those adventurers who have pucharsed the entire list of available mundane equipment, "just in case"."

- Miko Miyazaki, The Order of the Stick