Big Daddy (1999 film)/Funny

"Vanessa: He has a five year plan. Sonny: What is it? "Don't die"?"
 * A little dark if you're watching it with your grandpa or grandma, but the scene with Sonny and Vanessa discussing her new boyfriend.

"What's your name, he'll write it on the wall... mind your business!"
 * The fact that poor little Julian has to take a leak about every five mintues.

"Sonny: Ow, Scuba Steve! Damn You!"
 * When Sonny steps on Julian's Scuba Steve Doll.

"Julian: Electricity! Constitution! Philadelphia! Nazo: Fish! Pony! Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you! You gave him the easy ones."
 * Julian and Nanzo, the Delivery Guy, are learning how to read. Granted, it's not too far from the truth.

"Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha. Sonny: What are you drunk Mr. Herlihy? Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it? Sonny: Get off the stand please."
 * Mr. Herlihy is a cross between hilarious and a complete and total ass. He also makes a lousy character witness.


 * Saying he "drinks a lot of soda" don't help much...

""One of the children wore rollerblades for Show & Tell, and Julian tripped him with a stick!""
 * Julian's kindergarten teacher gets one of the best lines.

"Cashier: We stop serving breakfast at 10:30. Sonny: Oh horse shit! [Julian cries] Sonny: I wasn't cursing at you, I was cursing at the lady."
 * "I watched Fantasia a lot. And one day it just clicked."
 * "Lasagna? What the hell's the matter with you?"
 * More hilarious dialogue:


 * "WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS KID A HAPPY MEAL!?"

"Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not at me, I forgive you! Goth (walking away and sobbing quietly): I am, I am, I hate my father ..."
 * "What's your name? He'll write it on the wall!"
 * The random goth dude: