Fandomly Steve Wars

During the 2011-2012 "Christmas" Bloodbath, in Christmas-ish Chit Chat Thread 9 a great war started between the Hetalia Fandomly and the resident Complete Monster - Steve. A second and third war broke out in the Christmas-ish Chit Chat Thread 10 (page 20) and 11 (page 37) respectively. A link to an entire summary of the first half of Steve War 3 can be found here (includes storytelling)!

Due to some Fandom Dissonance on the "Steves" abilities and limits, some rules have been made on future Steves' weaknesses and abilities.


 * Forehead is his weakness. He can be hit anywhere else on the body, but if it's not the forehead, he can't be stopped. But not weaksauce attacks at it, like flicking his forehead. He needs a good stab with a knife, bullet shot, or stupefy to the head.
 * Much like with anons, there's more than one Steve. They just all happen to look alike (unless anyone wants to invoke the Steve!birds and such). We just can't tell them apart otherwise. Also, assume that even when we have only one person playing Steve, it's still a Steve army you're fighting.
 * Cause they're smart aliens with advance tech, the Steves always have a way of communicating to each other even when we can't see them do it. So it justifies why a Steve may know so much about our fandom, even if that Steve wasn't there to find it out.
 * As with possession, he does it with alien tech. So you need to have been kidnapped before you can be first possessed by Steve (and those of you who do decide to be possessed, please try to do this decently, thanks~). The power of Friendship or Love may help to get the person to fight the possession, but there are other ways to break possession. However using the power of friendship or love on the Steves themselves will not damage them.
 * Due to votes, the eating people thing is still on (there were more people okay with it than not). However, can we have the Steves be mindful that some people do get squicked by it, so don't nom on anyone unless you're SURE they're okay with it. The threat of it in general though, is completely fine to be used on anyone.


 * Action Girl: It's an army filled with fangirls!
 * Alien Invasion: The premise of this war.
 * Aliens Are Bastards: Well this alien certainly is.
 * Apocalypse Wow: AKA the Stevepocalypse.
 * Armies Are Evil: Inverted. The army was the good guys here.
 * Badass Family: Naturally, given the entire fandomly was the army against Steve.
 * Badass in Distress: Emma in the first war, Naru and Shiny in the second war, and Tina in the sixth
 * Badass Normal: None of the fandomly have magic or any super powers, and still managed to go toe to toe with Steve.
 * Batter Up: Yaoiforthelulz used a bat, WITH NAILS.
 * Beyond the Impossible: Defeating Steve counts as this.
 * Big Bad: Steve.
 * Big No: The fandom's reaction
 * Bittersweet Ending: Steve was defeated
 * Bizarre Taste in Food: Steve's view on typical human cuisine.
 * BFG: Talon and Nise both use bazookas.
 * Boisterous Bruiser: Bri, who always seems the most eager to participate in a Steve War.
 * Brains and Brawn: The two Generals. Oddly subverted, as General Talon (who likes to attack head on with a heck of a lot of weaponry) is the one to plan using information and relay orders to the troops, and General Tina (who hangs back and manipulates/fights Steve with words) usually dives straight in and uses the information to her advantage.
 * Call to Adventure: For everyone who appeared on the thread after the war started.
 * Child Eater: Technically Steve... what with the wanting to eat us and sometimes referring to the fans as children.
 * Child Soldiers: Some of our soldiers are too young to join a real army.
 * Cloning Gambit:
 * Complete Monster: Steve, of course
 * Crossover: First with Gamzee, then with Marik and Bakura, Duke Delvin, PewDie and Stephano.
 * Gamzee would return in the second war, this time with Karkat.
 * Crowning Moment of Awesome: The entire war was this!
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Seems to be this at the beginning when Steve is immune to all damage.
 * Cute and Psycho: Yaoiforthelulz goes yangire in the war.
 * As does TinaBanina96
 * Darker and Edgier: It started out almost harmless, then things got serious.
 * Determinator: No matter how indestructible Steve was and how many hostages he had, the fans didn't give up until he was defeated.
 * Diet Episode: Not an episode, but Tina tried to put Steve on healthy food in the first war with help from Ven and her chicken rice! Ven continued on alone in the second war while Tina slept.
 * Distressed Damsel: Applies to all the "kidnapped/possessed" fangirls. Also Liechtenstein in the second war.
 * Distressed Dude: America and Italy in the first war. Romania and the Allies in the second war.
 * Drop the Hammer: Bri with her hammer, Mangetsu.
 * Eldritch Abomination: Steve.
 * Enemy to All Living Things: Steve eats anything with flesh.
 * Everything's Better With Dinosaurs: Mik and Rabbit used their pet dinosaurs to attack.
 * Epic Fail: Every time one of the Steves accidentally deanons.
 * Evil Versus Evil: Steve vs Gamzee.
 * Fan Girl: An entire army of them!
 * Fat Bastard: Jokes were made about Steve eventually becoming this because of his diet.
 * Flipping the Table: Labc's attack.
 * Foe Yay: Between Tina and Steve. Which of course, led to a Crack Pairing
 * Foreign Queasine: How Steve reacts to human food.
 * Heta Oni: Where Steve originated from
 * Hidden Depths: Many were revealed by fangirls on the comm after the start of this war
 * Hilarity Ensues: It's still a Hetalia fandom. What do you expect?
 * Holy Burns Evil: Attempted with holy water and silver bullets, however it doesn't affect Steve.
 * Hot-Blooded: Some of the fans.
 * Ho Yay: Marik and Bakura disappear for this reason in the first war.
 * On a lighter scale, Karkat calming sober Gamzee down during the second war.
 * Humongous Mecha: Back up plan included turning Sealand into one.
 * Hungry Menace: Steve's diet consists of human flesh.
 * Improbable Weapon User: Some of us decide to use things like food, rainbows, dishwasher soap, animals, and England's scones, among other things.
 * It Got Worse: When Steve took hostages.
 * Large Ham: General Tina often invokes this Trope whilst attacking Steve.
 * Magical Girl Warrior: Fangirl Sweden, Sailor Finland and Sailor Maple.
 * Mass "Oh Crap": Every time Steve kept surviving. Also when Steve and sober Gamzee were first fighting.
 * Masquerade:
 * More Dakka: The amount of attack spam throughout just one should qualify.
 * Multinational Team: One that represents all the continents!
 * Mundane Made Awesome: It all started with a WMG while the thread was moving slowly.
 * Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The General of the fandomly Army initially inspired the Steve attack.
 * Oh Crap: Reaction to many of the things Steve did.
 * Red Oni, Blue Oni: The two Generals' approaches to Steve. General Talon likes to make Steve go boom with guns and explosions, while General Tina prefers to manipulate Steve with mind games.
 * Red Shirt: Essentially happens to the missing fans during this war, they were simply referred to as Steve's hostages.
 * Right-Hand-Cat: Narumonster's army of both alive and undead cats. Though she's not evil.
 * Rule of Cool: The entire war was this, no matter how ridiculous.
 * Saving the World: Side effect of stopping Steve.
 * Screw the War, We're Partying: Even with a war going on, there was still time to post fanart and gush over it.
 * Serious Business: The war became this when
 * Shout-Out: This happens a lot when you have this many fangirls in one army.
 * Slept Through the Apocalypse /MissedTheCall/ Late to The Party: Happens quite often due to differences in timezones.
 * Status Quo Is God: Sadly after the war the thread immediately slowed down like it had before.
 * Took a Level In Badass: Happens to many of the more introverted fans.
 * The Captain: Talonicefire is the General of the Army. Also TinaBanina96, General and second in command.
 * The Brigadier: Talon and Tina as mentioned above. Also Lieutenant Generals Ven and Commander Freddy, Major General Labc, and Brigadier General Rabbit.
 * The End of the World As We Know It: What would happen if Steve won.
 * The End - Or Is It?: After Steve's defeat
 * The Gunslinger: Naturally in a war this big, guns were used.
 * The Storyteller: Oh General Tina... you and your speaking only in third person POV from the start of the Third War...
 * This Is for Emphasis, Bitch: Used on oh-so many occasions when speaking to Steve.
 * True Companions: The Hetalia fandomly.
 * Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Treated like this by some of the fandom at the beginning.
 * Verbal Tic: More of a written one but sTeVe TyPeS lIkE tHiS.
 * Weapon of Choice: Applies to most of the fans' weapons.
 * Wild Mass Guessing: The reason for the war beginning.
 * World War II: The Steve Wars were played off from the World Wars, as at first there were two of them. However, after the growing number of Steve Wars, they've now all been condensed to one war.
 * You Taste Delicious: Steve prefers human flesh to anything else. Includes human flesh with sugar/salt/ice-cream/etc.

Battle of the Bulge
"Tina: Steve, you realize that your currently inside an Australian body right? Australian. Huh. Funny that.
 * Ambiguous Gender: After a slip up from Steve referring to himself as a "she", it is unclear whether Steve is supposed to be male or female.
 * And Your Reward Is Edible: After the war, Talonicefire rewarded the "troops" with chocolate for their victory.
 * An Ice Person: Sotnosen93 after transforming into Fangirl Sweden.
 * Arbitrary Skepticism: Pink_cass at the beginning of the war.
 * Berserk Board Barricade: Commander Freddy's reaction to
 * Beware the Nice Ones: You do not want to mock Tina's intelligence.
 * Bishonen: Technically counts when we had Prussia, England, Canada, Hong Kong, Romano, Spain, Duke Delvin, Marik and Bakura on side. Also hostages, America and Italy.
 * Blatant Lies: Tina to Gamzee - "WHAT? NO OF COURSE THIS ISN'T VODKA. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PREPOSTEROUS HYPOTHESIS?"
 * Break Them By Talking: Tina's main strategy throughout the game.


 * Dramatic Pause*

Do you know the natural rival of the Australian?

It's the New Zealander..."

"Talon: The fans who are leaving.
 * Calling Your Attacks: Everyone does this in the final strike on Steve.
 * Cluster F-Bomb: Initial reaction to Steve's appearance.
 * Crowning Moment of Awesome: THE SECOND LARGEST CITY IN KYRGYZSTAN IS OSH!
 * Also when Marik and Bakura appeared.
 * Defeat Equals Explosion: With all the attacks at the end, Steve went out with a bang.
 * Demonic Possession: Happens to Hyperemmalawlz.
 * Drop the Hammer: One of Gamzee's weapon used on Steve. Also later used by some of the famdomly army.
 * Eat That: While Steve was force fed some decent food, among them were things less edible, such as England's scones.
 * Epic Flail: 007dragonstar's kusarigama.
 * Everything's Better With Chocolate: See above at And Your Reward Is Edible.
 * Fighting From the Inside: Emma, during her
 * Food Fight: Both in force feeding Steve until he was weakened and throwing exploding food at him!
 * Force Feeding: Done to Steve.
 * Fridge Horror: Realising went really happened to the fans that were leaving.

They're not going to sleep.

They didn't want to leave.

Steve got to them.

And he was typing for them to throw us off."

"Tina: A Final Message From The General"
 * Heroic Sacrifice: Almost happened with Tina, if Talon hadn't stopped her.
 * "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight: Used during  mainly by
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: This response to one of Steve's comments about eating "How about you eat lead? *gets gun and shoots* It's high in iron! That's good for your health."
 * Kill It With Water: Glassesrink using holy water against Steve.
 * Laser Blade: Tweaksy's lightsaber.
 * Last Chance to Quit: The ultimatum issued to Steve after possessing
 * Meat Versus Veggies: Specifically human meat vs veggies.
 * Meaningful Echo: Emma  via reciting the answers to trivia questions she'd asked before.
 * Moe Anthropomorphism: Captcha
 * More Dakka: Talon also uses machine guns to spam shots.
 * The Plan: The generals implement so many, Steve was somehow cornered into a situation where he couldn't win.
 * Playing With Fire: Hong Kong and his fire cracker attacks.
 * Security Blanket: Yaoiforthelulz and Mik sharing the Adult Womanly Blanket of Comforting Feels. It Makes Sense in Context.
 * Sinister Scythe: 007dragonstar's kusarigama, again.
 * Spot of Tea: Averted. Much to England's displeasure.
 * The Power of Friendship: Mistspinner and Glassesrink's weapon of choice at the beginning of the war.
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech: TinaBanina96 giving one to Steve after his defeat... and during the war.
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech: TinaBanina96 giving one to Steve after his defeat... and during the war.


 * Torches and Pitchforks: Sotnosen93 and Belugaaa entered the war with torches and pitchforks, respectively.
 * Unexplained Recovery:
 * You Can Panic Now: "OKAY, NOT TRYING TO PANIC ANYONE... TAKE YOUR INTERNETS AND IN A CALM AND ORDERLY FASHION, RUN AND SCREAM YOUR WAY TO SEALAND."
 * You Won't Like How I Taste: Invoked by Tina against Steve.

Battle of the Eye Scream

 * An Axe to Grind: Yaoiforthelulz, after breaking her nailbat, and Manicpixiedust.
 * Baleful Polymorph: Appears to a possible side-effect of Steve turning someone into his mind slave.
 * Bare-Fisted Monk: Taka puts her skills to good use against Steve.
 * Cats Are Magic: The reason why Steve hates cats.
 * Catch Phrase: "I'm killing you in my mind" or "I can kill you with my brain/mind" by most fans.
 * Cool Pet: Other than the dino users Mik and Rabbit, we also had Yaoiforthelulz's Discopogoceratops, Loulybob's dragon - Lyle, Fishie's "fish", Chelsea the Liopleurodon, and Sinnafain's basilisk enter the war.
 * Don't Ask, Just Run: General reaction to seeing Steve.
 * Eaten Alive: What Steve threatened to do to Cure, Fishie, Mik and Panda.
 * Eye Scream: One of Steve's threats was to hang our eyeballs on nails.
 * Food As Bribe: Yaoiforthelulz offered Steve a sandwich if he stopped kidnapping fans. It didn't work.
 * Friendly Sniper: Rabbit after transforming to Sailor Finland.
 * Heartwarming Moments: Steve interrupted one.
 * I'm a Humanitarian: When not eating nations, Steve main choice of food is this.
 * And his favorite dish is Brain Food.
 * It Has Only Just Begun:
 * I Will Protect Her: The fandomly's reaction towards Cure.
 * Lethal Chef: Loulybob invokes the English stereotype to be this.
 * Mama Bear: Dino owners do not react well to said dinos being hurt.
 * Master Poisoner: Loulybob trying to get Steve to drink poison.
 * Nice Hat: Vice Cap has a war hat.
 * Shotguns Are Just Better: Panda's weapon when she's not using her panda army.
 * Sniper Rifle: Due to one of Sinnafain's ranged weapons, and Sne_stjerne.
 * Summon Bigger Fish: Fishie rallies an army of these, and they were literally  fish.
 * The Archer: Due to one of Sinnafain's ranged weapons.
 * The Captain: Both the Generals were MIA for this battle.
 * However Rabbit appears to fit the trope for this war, despite not having an official rank.
 * The Power of Love: Of fandomly love.
 * Things That Go Bump in The Night: Panda kept having moments where things kept falling, even after she closed the window where this was all happening.
 * Your Worst Nightmare: Carelessheart threatened to use the rest of the armies worst nightmare against Steve.
 * What Beautiful Eyes!: Nightmare Fuel Version; Steve wanted to add Shiny's eyes to his eye ball collection due to this.

Battle Three
"Hanhula: ""From (now on) I plan to take a ruthless attack and do my best"'...HE'S FIGHTING STEVE OMG. HIMAPAPA IS FIGHTING AGAINST STEVE ...or... HE IS STEVE ;A;""
 * Big Ol' Eyebrows: Fyn's attack on Steve was to give him Iggybrows.
 * Cape Swish: Tina and her cloak.
 * Chainsaw Good: Xaylu's Rocket Chainsaw.
 * Computer Virus: Ven's army of viruses and virtual pets
 * Cool Guns: Fishie's fish army suddenly all had photoshopped guns.
 * Despair Event Horizon: General of the Army Talon is injured after an unsuccessful rescue mission... more and more people are being possessed by Steve... General Tina has given up hope...
 * Evil All Along:
 * Go Mad From the Revelation: Hanhula's discovery -

" as Steve: "SiLlY HuMaN. Do YoU nOt UnDeRsTaNd? My KiNd cAn inFlIcT ItS WiLl OnTo oThErS aNd InfLuEnCe tHeIr mInDs.WhAt yOu tHiNk iS FoUr hAs jUsT BeEn MySeLf iN ThE FoRmS oF YoU FooLiSh hUmAnS""
 * Heroic Sacrifice: General Talon's single handed attempt to free France
 * Humongous Mecha: At one point, there was a huge mecha of Iceland
 * It's All My Fault:  realisation that it was her who gave Steve mind possession powers.

"HOLY DUCK.
 * I Take Offense to That Last One: Of all the insults, swear words and death threats thrown at Steve, he gets offended by being called a "menace".
 * Mid-Battle Tea Break: Due to the confusion of many, the battle stopped during the middle so everyone could catch up.
 * My Greatest Failure: See It's All My Fault
 * Parenthetical Swearing: Glassesrink.

DON'T EVEN GO NEAR TAIWAN.

I'LL BUCK YOUR SHEEP IF YOU DO."

"WAKE FANDOMLY!!!!!! WE WILL WIN!!!!!!!! WE WILL PERSEVERE!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE THE AWESOME HETALIA FANDOMLY!!!!!!!!!"
 * Rhetorical Question Blunder: Steve attempted to brag about having a mind controller on his side, via using rhetorical questions. Talon answers it then gives him a bullet to the head.
 * Rousing Speech: Performed remarkably by labc


 * Stepford Smiler: Tina when France was 'dead'
 * T-Word Euphemism: Glassesrink literally using the B-word.

Battle Five

 * Overlord, Jr.: Papa Steve and his son, Steven

Battle Six
"Tina: (Stands dramatically) Because that's what I do as General. Stand dramatically and recite monologues to Steve."
 * And This Is For:  does this once she's finally on the battlefield.
 * Berserk Button: fufuyurifan was...less than happy when
 * Beware the Nice Ones:
 * Common Ranks: Before the war started, some fans were able to choose their own military rank.
 * Cosmic Plaything: Bri. She missed the previous battle by mere moments, managed to  on her first battle, and
 * Demonic Possession: Steve does this to
 * Distressed Damsel: Liechtenstein and now the
 * Distressed Dude: Russia and Estonia
 * : This battle ended with
 * Drop the Hammer: Bri's weapon of choice.
 * : Seems to happen to  as a result of Steve pulling a
 * Heroic Sacrifice:
 * Hostage Situation: When Steve
 * Hyperspace Arsenal: Sinnafain's bottomless supply of range weapons and ammo.
 * I Will Protect Her / You Shall Not Pass:
 * Lima Syndrome: Falling in love with your captive Liechtenstein, I see Steven...
 * Lock and Load Montage
 * Mad Scientist: Shiny eagerly experimented on the evil that was in  and tested it on some of Panda's pandas.
 * Magic Music: Used to  Also chaobu's weapon of choice.
 * Mid-Battle Tea Break: The battle had a break when
 * Military Salute
 * Moe Anthropomorphism: e56111920's Sleep-tan.
 * Moment Killer: Steve attacked while it was still 'Awesome Day' in some timezones.
 * Multi Ranged Master: Sinnafain's bow, crossbow and gun.
 * New Meat: Many more fangirls were able to join in on the battle due to it starting at a different time. An entire fleet was dedicated to those who missed the previous battles and named 'The Star Fleet'.
 * Not So Different:
 * Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner: Several.
 * Power of Friendship: sinnafain and fufuyurifan manage to break Steve's  with a Rousing Speech about heroes and threatening to look for a new onee-chan, respectively.
 * Refusal of the Call /WeAreNotGoingThroughThatAgain: Several fans left in the beginning of the battle due to the battles being confusing and tiring.
 * Rousing Speech: To those who were new to the war.
 * Stuff Blowing Up: The effect of Ven's viruses.
 * Switching POV: From the fangirls fighting Steve, to General Tina's, to the captured nations'.
 * Talking Is a Free Action: Lampshaded by General Tina
 * Talking Is a Free Action: Lampshaded by General Tina


 * The Medic: Shiny, chuugoku_aru_yo, e56111920, and chilliechu.
 * Invoked by fufuyurifan and Narumonster.
 * While Steve Attacks: Some fans were doing the usual writing, posting pics and chatting.

Positions in the Fandomly Army

 * General of the Army - Talonicefire
 * General, Second-in-Command - Tinabanina96
 * Lieutenant General - Ventusbdaplayer and Commander Freddy
 * Major General - Labc and Chelliechu
 * Brigadier General - Blackrabbit9
 * Colonel - Hyperemmalawlz and Sotnosen93
 * Quartermaster - Tine_ghealain
 * Private - Sunfire7845
 * Fleet Admiral - Thebookbug5
 * Commander - Narumonster
 * Captain - Sinnafain
 * Medic - Shiny, Chuugoku_aru_yo, E56111920, and Chilliechu.
 * Canon Fodder - Fynnain
 * Godfather - Fufuyurifan
 * Magical Girl - Blackrabbit9, Sotnosen93, Gnortaku, and Kikikai