Married to the Job

"Leo: This is the most important thing I'll ever do, Jenny. I have to do it well. Jenny: It's not more important than your marriage. Leo: It is more important than my marriage, right now. These few years while I'm doing this, yes, it's more important than my marriage."

- The West Wing

When a character's devotion to their career is such that it begins to seriously affect their ability to hold any kind of relationship outside of it. Perhaps they're spending too many hours at the office and not enough with the wife and kids, perhaps they've scheduled a business meeting at the same time as little Sally's birthday party or Tommy's athletics day, or perhaps their work is leading them into some very dark or dangerous situations. Either way, their spouse or partner isn't very happy with them, and is quick to let them know it.

This trope is of the key reasons why Everybody Is Single, why many characters find it difficult to make a relationship last longer than a week, and is one of the key causes of TV Divorce. As such, it's a major source of angst and relationship tension.

In some cases, this concern is justified—the character genuinely is spending too much time at work and is neglecting their other relationships and commitments, and the complaining spouse is genuinely in the right to call them out on it. This is particularly the case if the character has a career that, whilst it may be important, is not going to result in any fatalities or the Collapse of Western Civilization if they take a break now and then. In these cases, the character might be neglecting their significant others and relationships out of a genuine desire to provide the best for their families, having completely missed the point that it'd probably be better for their families in the long run if they actually spend some time with them now and again. On the other hand, they might just be too obsessed with their career and the perks, privileges and powers they have, and have Forgotten What's Important. Or because they're simply a Workaholic. If it's a happy story, then the character will gradually realize that they're focusing on the wrong things and resolve to make amends and spend more time with their loved ones; in a Downer Ending, the character will lose everyone who is important to her / him and quickly discover that it's Lonely at the Top.

In other cases, however, the complaining spouse's position is a little less clear-cut and righteous. While they might have a point about their loved one's spending too much time at work having a negative impact on their marriage / relationship, the fact is that some careers genuinely are demanding and their partner really does need to put in all that time at work in order to effectively do their job. In some jobs - medicine, for example, or the police - people really do need to work long hours, be on call 24-7, and / or expose themselves to dangerous situations, and lives genuinely can be lost if they aren't attentive to their work to a high degree, even if this means neglecting their relationships or families. In these situations (whether the writer intended it or not), the complaining spouse may come across as selfish, whiny and unfairly demanding, especially if it should have been obvious from the outset of the relationship that their loved one's job was going to demand a large portion of their time.

A Truth in Television, as a common complaint these days is that the pursuit of success in climbing the career ladder is causing more people to work longer hours with less time to spend with their loved ones.

This is particularly common among military personnel, detectives, secret agents and doctors. Architects also seem prone to this trope (and usually fall into the first category) for some reason.

See also Salaryman, Workaholic and When You Coming Home, Dad? Contrast the Crusading Widower, who loses his family through more violent means.

Anime and Manga

 * Godannar: Both Goh Saruwatari and his "wife" Anna Aoi. His mother-in-law, Dr. Kiriko Aoi (Anna's mother), also happens to be his boss.
 * Kotetsu Jeeg: Hiroshi Shiba did not knew why his father was always working and he barely talked to his family, and after several years, he decided he did not care about it or his father. When he learnt his reasons, he kind of forgave Prof. Shiba, but his mother still called her husband on it.
 * Mazinger Z: The Professor Gennosuke Yumi spends most part of the time working in the Photonic Energy Research Laboratory or traveling to meet with other scientists. He is a widower, and his daughter Sayaka practically has to twist his arm to force him to go home and have supper. Although she never called him out on it, many times she felt neglected and she regretted not only she was motherless but her father was too busy to be there for her when she needed him. However it may be sort of justified since her Prof. Yumi was trying to save the world. Juzo Kabuto is another example: he hired a maid to take care of their grandsons because he was barely in home (due to be building Mazinger-Z).
 * Great Mazinger: Kenzo Kabuto was even worse in that sense. He devoted several years of his life to build Humongous Mecha to save the world, and train kids to pilot them. The result was his two biological children not even knew he was alive -long history-, and his adoptive son got huge issues never were addressed.
 * Monster : Both Doctor Tenma and Detective Lunge are so devoted to their careers that they have literally no social life outside their jobs. In Tenma's case it's less noticeable because he has a great social life on the job -- he cares for his patients so much that he uses his spare time on them as well. Lunge fits the trope like a glove; his obsessiveness drives his wife and daughter away, and it only gets worse when he decides to put himself into the mind of the man he's chasing (Tenma), who was The Unfavorite and willfully isolated himself from his family.
 * Lunge really brings it to the point of being horrific as he not only does lose his family but nearly gets fired from the very job he's married to due to his obsession.
 * Criminal psychologist Dr. Gillen is another example, as his introductory scene has him explain that his wife left him because he listened more to his 20,000 tapes of observations on and quotes from criminals than he did to her.
 * This is probably meant as an ironic contrast to Johann who manages to balance his job (spreading chaos and convincing Tenma the world deserves it) and forming relationships.
 * In the Living Game manga, Tokiko's husband spends pretty much all of his time at the office or away on business trips, leaving her to complain to the main characters. In fact, his devoted (male) assistant Komada is referred to at one point as a second 'wife'.
 * Lloyd Asplund from Code Geass is a Bunny Ears Lawyer who is wholly dedicated to the construction, maintenance, and development of the Z-01 Lancelot to the point where he doesn't even acknowledge his fiancée-via-Arranged Marriage as a romantic interest. He's not a bad guy, just socially clueless and monomaniacal.
 * Then again, perhaps he's just asexual (and/or aromantic). He certainly doesn't seem to be interested in love, and his carefree attitude suggests that it isn't by lack of time. He probably simply doesn't care.
 * Oh lord, Sagara Sousuke from Full Metal Panic!. He is completely and totally socially inept because of living his whole life as a soldier. During one time, Kaname and Tessa hold a little bingo and concert party for soldiers to unwind, and Sousuke is shown very uncomfortable, showing disapproval of them relaxing on the job. It's only in The Second Raid that he even begins to consider the possibility of a life and a future with Kaname outside of the job - and that's only after Mao asks him about his plans for his future and then criticizes him sharply when his only answer is "follow orders."
 * Fate of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, whose job as Enforcer requires her to travel around space most of the time. In the Megami Sound Stages, she laments the fact that she can't spend as much time as she wants with her adopted children Erio and Caro, and in ViVid, she was away so often that she was the last person to hear about her other adopted daughter Vivio's Adult Form (Nanoha kinda forgot to mention that little detail to her).
 * The problem persists in the 2nd Mother's Day one-shot, when Vivio teases Fate about how often she is absent from her life (prompting Fate to angst that Vivio will no longer consider her one of her mothers), such as when she canceled a parental visit day for school due to her Enforcer duties but still notes that she's her mother and dear to her.
 * Somewhat more literally, casual shippers who are sick of Nanoha's constant shipping debates often like to say that the only canon pairing in the series is Nanoha/Job.
 * Subaru, in the Movie Sound stage, laments not being able to see her family very often due to her job in the rescue team almost constantly having her on duty, but Teana reassures her that they're still her family, noting Fate as being close to her family in spite of where her job takes her.
 * Fate's adoptive brother, Chrono, being an Admiral who commands a ship like his mother once did, is noted in the Sound Stages as being away from his children fairly often.
 * Sosuke's dad (Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea) is a fisherman who spends most of the time away at sea and gets his wife plenty mad at him when he has to stay out a few more days. The family is intentionally analogous to the family of director Hayao Miyazaki, who suffered from the same problem; the Reality Subtext of the film is an apology to his son.
 * Hibari of Katekyo Hitman Reborn.
 * Captain Tsubasa, he's so married to football that boy-and-girl relationship is the rarest element to be found around him, considering this a Shounen genre, it's not very strange. Subverted slightly when he confesses his love to Sanae. Then he goes to Brazil and married to the job again that his girlfriend has to follow him there love-stuck and almost in tear before they finally get married for real.
 * Both Ryo and Asuka of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX use the "in love with dueling" line to let down attempted suitors.

Comic Books
"Oh Scott! My heart just breaks when I so pale, so shaken! If only I could comfort you with my arms ... my lips ... but I know I mustn't! As our acting leader, you've no time for thoughts of ... romance!"
 * Batman uses this as an excuse at times. His other excuses are It's Not You, It's My Enemies and Robin looks really good in tights.
 * Made explicit in an episode of The Batman. When Alfred talks to Bruce's latest stood-up-date, she asks if Bruce is actually married. "Yes, to his work..."
 * Harvey Dent in The Long Halloween struggles with his marriage because of the many demands of his job as District Attorney, in addition to his own mental problems. At the end, it's revealed that his wife Gilda  in order to help Harvey so that he "wouldn't have to work so much" and they could be together.
 * It was quite a staple in Silver Age superhero comics, used as an excuse to delay an otherwise inevitable progression of a romance where secret-identity issues did not apply, such as within a team of superheroes. Take this example from X-Men #9 (1965): Marvel Girl telekinetically holds ice-cubes to Cyclops' bruised head and thinks:


 * In Dykes to Watch Out For, Sydney, whilst researching polyamory, has the epiphany that she is in a polyamorous relationship already- her work is her primary relationship, while Mo is 'the other woman'. This also happens with Clarice and Toni, with Clarice's job as a lawyer almost immediately put a strain on the relationship.
 * In Watchmen, this leads to conflict between Rorschach's psychologist and the psychologist's wife, considering the more Squicky aspects of Rorschach's backstory began to influence the shrink too.
 * You could say that the Kents are both Happily Married and Married to the Job. Heh.
 * There was a period, however, when Lois broke off the engagement because she couldn't handle being married to Superman, and wasn't sure Superman should be married when he had a world to protect. She said she tried thinking of it as like being married to a fire-fighter or a policeman ... but even they could take a day off. She came to terms with the situation eventually.


 * Judge Dredd has no life whatsoever outside of his responsibilities and duties as a Judge. Even when other Judges may recognize a perp or victim as a celebrity personality from a vidshow, Dredd will not, nor would he care. Dredd is celibate and doesn't even celebrate his own birthday—not even when the Chief Judge and his closest associates at Justice Dept. get him a cake and gifts. The closest thing Dredd has to engaging in a leisure activity is reading the Book of Law.

Film

 * In Addams Family Values, Debbie "Black Widow" Jellinsky says she killed her first husband, a heart surgeon, because he was so often late home due to emergency operations. But then, she was insane.
 * Nicholas Angel of Hot Fuzz has this as his defining trait.
 * Die Hard. The stereotype of the 'workaholic cop and frustrated wife' was curiously inverted, however, as at the beginning of the first movie police officer John McClane's complaint was that the devotion his wife had to her job was killing their marriage.
 * The movie Click is about this; upon receiving the universal remote that allows him to 'fast forward' through his life, the character is initially delighted to be able to skip through the unnecessary things in his life to get his work done. Unfortunately, he quickly realizes that he's fast-forwarding the wrong things and the rewind button doesn't work...
 * In The Prestige both main characters suffer from this trope. Hugh Jackman's character Robert Angier even says out loud that he doesn't care about his deceased wife, but it pales in comparison to Christian Bale's dedication, wherein, all so a certain magic trick's mystery is never figured out by anyone. This also results in a failed marriage, leading the wife to commit suicide.
 * It was implied in Taken that this was a contributing factor of Bryan's divorce. Although he did retire early to spend more time with his daughter.
 * In Heat, both the detective and the criminal are completely focused on their careers on their respective sides of the law to the almost complete exclusion to anything else. For the detective, this means he's burned through two marriages and is currently on the downward slope of a third; for the criminal, this means that he has absolutely nothing even resembling a personal life.
 * Walter and Hildy are both married to their newspaper jobs in His Girl Friday, though Hildy is trying to get out of it. Walter sets her up with one last story in an attempt to get her to come back to the paper.

Literature
"Sam: I don't want to sound impatient, dear, but is this a carpet moment? Sybil: Just stop thinking like a husband and start listening like a copper, will you?"
 * Discworld: Sam Vimes a text book example. He's constantly running off on his wife Lady Sybil, often in the middle of meals. In The Fifth Elephant he's so preoccupied with the central mystery it takes an entire book before he realizes that.
 * Also inverted in the same book, when Sybil accidentally discovers the location of a secret room in the embassy while measuring the floors for carpets:


 * Vimes does his best to defy this trope in Thud! where he makes it his duty to return home in time to read "Where's My Cow?" to his son, no matter what else job-related might occupy his attention at the time.
 * Kurt Wallander: Kurt is divorced and has only an on-off relationship with his Latvian girlfriend.
 * In the Temeraire series, most aviators are married to the job, if only because the bond they share with their dragons means that any spouse would play second fiddle (to say nothing of having to live near a dragon covert and seeing them less than possibly even a Navy man). There's no prohibition against it, but wise aviators won't subject anyone to it.
 * Scrooge's fiancée in A Christmas Carol twists his long hours and penny-pinching into "proof" that he doesn't love her enough. Most people automatically sympathize and side with Belle, ignoring the fact that the hard work comes from Scrooge wanting to care for and marry a poor girl without a dowry.
 * He had passed the point where he had enough money and kept working anyway. He had allowed the pursuit of wealth to become an end in itself, a pursuit which he didn't even slow down after the reason (Belle) was no longer in evidence.
 * In the Crackpot Hall novels of Ysabeau Wilce, Buck isn't so much married to her job as Commanding General of the Califan Army as she is its whipping girl.
 * In Isaac Asimov's Foundation series, Hari Seldon's friend and colleague Yugo Amaryl was only interested in developing psychohistory. He never married, didn't know any people aside from his colleagues and died early from overwork.
 * Used tragically in Aldarian and Erendis in Unfinished Talesof Numenor and Middleearth. Aldarian is the Crown Prince of Numenore and is always sailing to Middle-Earth for long periods of time. This eventually breaks down his marriage with Erendis who influences their daughter Ancalimë to dislike men.
 * Marcia Overstrand in Septimus Heap is this, having virtually no life outside of her work as the ExtraOrdinary Wizard.

Live Action TV
"Harry Mudd: You'll find out that ship's captains are already married, girl, to their vessels."
 * Liz Lemon in Thirty Rock.
 * Captain Kirk in Star Trek is often said to be "married" to the Enterprise.


 * But that
 * Hilariously parodied in Futurama where Shatner is forced to read from a bad fan script:

"Shatner: Alas, my ship, whom I love like a woman, is damaged."


 * In the first season of 24 it was mentioned that Jack and Terri Bauer's marriage was strained because Jack Bauer spent too much time at work and would often spend months at a time away from home.
 * And in season 7, President Taylor put her duty to her country over her family and, which was a direct cause of.
 * Leo McGarry's divorce in The West Wing was a direct result of this trope, as demonstrated in the page quote, and it's implied that Toby Ziegler's marriage ended because of his duties in the White House as well. It's also suggested, however, the devotion required and long hours spent working at the White House took their toll on all the characters and their relationships to some degree, as almost all of them barring the President and the First Lady were either single or divorced.

Something of a Truth in Television, with one possibly significant note; many observers have noted that in Real Life few of the people who hold the positions in the White House that the characters hold remain in them for as long as the characters hold them, with one of the reasons being this trope; working at the White House for so long tends to result in burn-out. "Provenza: I have a civil service job, and the only way that I am going to leave the Los Angeles police department is if I get shot, have a heart attack, and then you run me over. After which I will consider a disability position. Pope: But you really still haven't told me why. Provenza: When why my first wife and I divorced, I agreed to split my pension with her from the day I retire. I'll be damned if she gets a nickel. Pope: That...I understand."
 * In Numb3rs, this seems to be true for just about everyone. David Sinclair and Colby Granger seem to consider this a badge of honor, or at least an excuse why they aren't in relationships, and Nikki is insulted when they imply she isn't her married to her job.
 * Hugh Abbot on The Thick of It doesn't see his family much. Considering what his only distraction is, one supposes he really doesn't do much beside work. He's not happy about it.
 * On Arrested Development, Michael has this problem. His wife is dead, but he's always worried about neglecting his son because he spends so much time trying to save the family business.
 * And the ironic thing is, most of the family (save for Buster, Tobias, and Mabel) are a bunch of selfish jerks who don't even realize the trouble he goes through to help them.
 * On Grey's Anatomy Bailey's husband Tucker divorced her because she's spending too much time at the hospital, you know, saving lives. Jerkass.
 * Stargate Atlantis coming in with the military variety from "Outcast." In the day off episode "Sunday," it's established that Sheppard is divorced. In "Outcast," we learn that the frequent phone calls in the middle of the night, the inability to tell her where he was or what he was doing, and the constant worry that she'd get the 'We regret to inform you' knock on the door drove the marriage apart.
 * And he's not the first. In the parent series, this trope led to O'Neill's divorce, Landry's divorce and estrangement from his daughter, indirectly led to the death of Jacob Carter's wife and directly led to the estrangement from his son.
 * In Criminal Minds, SSA Aaron Hotchner eventually loses his wife, Haley, and young son, Jack, to this. A Funny Aneurysm Moment occurs in the Season 1 episode, 'Unfinished Business', as Hotch notes that "divorce is not uncommon in the BAU."
 * All the team fit this trope, probably because the BAU seems to be woefully understaffed.
 * Dr. Claire Saunders in Dollhouse sometimes sleeps in her office, all so she could properly monitor and take care of the "Dolls."
 * John Winchester in Supernatural was too busy hunting as a result of his wife's death in the hands of a demon.
 * Hunters in general tend to avoid long-term relationships due to the inherent danger in the job, the constant travel, and the tendency for their loved ones to get Stuffed Into the Fridge. In particular, Dean's inability to maintain a stable family life with Lisa and Ben was a small subplot in season 6.
 * Law and Order: An occupational hazard for the detectives (and some of the lawyers) on all of the series.
 * Gibbs from NCIS, who has reportedly been married (and divorced) three times
 * A suspect who happened to be a psychology expert identified Abby as married to her job as well.
 * As well as, you know, everyone. Do they even have homes? And beds that they actually sleep in, other than their desks?
 * Gibbs doesn't sleep in a bed in his own house. He sleeps on the couch.
 * A number of Babylon 5 characters may qualify, but Dr. Franklin is the most obvious.
 * Catherine Willows of CSI - though she divorced her husband for several reasons of which this was likely one of them, it's still a recurring source of drama between her and daughter Lindsey.
 * Grissom was also this, until he married Sara-who was the trope to a point as well. Catherine once told Grissom to "take his head out of his micoscope" once in a while, and Grissom told Sara to get a life outside the lab in the first couple of seasons. Now they've married each other.
 * Mac Taylor on "CSI: NY" became this after his wife died on 9/11. It's often extremely difficult for his colleagues to drag him away for some actual sleep.
 * The Closer: Fairly common amongst Major Crimes officers. Provenza and Pope both have had multiple divorces. Brenda has had one, and her devotion to the job strains her relationship with her boyfriend/fiancé/husband over the course of the series.
 * The Closer: Fairly common amongst Major Crimes officers. Provenza and Pope both have had multiple divorces. Brenda has had one, and her devotion to the job strains her relationship with her boyfriend/fiancé/husband over the course of the series.

"John Henry Giles: "I know that look. I know that empty ring finger. You don't save someone who doesn't want to be saved unless you have something... anything. One thing. The reason other people have wives and families is that they don't have that one thing that hits them that hard and that true. I've got my music; you've got... this.""
 * On M*A*S*H Hawkeye's complete devotion to his career as a doctor is the reason given for his inability to make relationships last. He finds it easier to remain single and sleep with a different Girl of the Week each episode (there are hints that this was the case even before he was drafted into the army).
 * Law & Order: Special Victims Unit:
 * When Olivia Benson was asked if she was a lesbian (her answer, "No", made plenty of Alex/Olivia shippers pissed), Elliot teases her that it would explain why she has had such rotten luck with men. Her reply is this trope, word for word.
 * Also, in her first episode with Casey Novak, she explains that being married to the job, particularly their job, screws with everyone's love lives, and then proceeds to list them.
 * Stabler loses his family for a while because of this trope. He manages to get them back and maintain a pretty healthy relationship, mostly because his wife Kathy accepts his second marriage. She even jokingly refers to Olivia as his "work wife".
 * On Glee, Terri views Will is this, though her point (and her sanity) are arguable.
 * Holmes in Sherlock) explains to Watson that that's what he is (having misinterpreted Watson's line of questioning somewhat).
 * Victor Henry is Married to the Job of being a naval officer in Winds of war / War and remembrance. This ruins his marriage. Sympathy is with him though as one might expect that saving the world from Those Wacky Nazis, might be a wee bit distracting.
 * The usual gender roles of this trope are switched in No Ordinary Family, in which it's the mother who is a job-fixated Workaholic who is never around and the father who's a bit pissed about it. Although during an argument, the mother does rather bitterly point out that working for eighty hours a week to support her family wasn't exactly how she imagined living her life either.
 * Syd, Jamie's betrothed on Blue Bloods breaks up with him because he is too dedicated to being a cop and he is unwilling/unable to talk to her about what he does.
 * In contrast Danny seems to be happily married even though he tends to get obsessive about some of his cases.
 * In the first season, House's "marriage" is pointed out by a patient, who is himself "married" to his job as a musician.


 * Captain Blackadder from Blackadder Goes Forth. He's married to the army. The book of King's regulations is his Mistress. Possibly with the Harrods lingerie catalogue discreetly tucked between the pages.
 * Detective Beckett on Castle gets obsessive about her job, although she does find time for a life outside of it. This becomes a form of Character Development thanks to the fact that earlier seasons see her frequently depicted as intensely focussed on her job (although less-than-pleased about it) and later seasons see her come out of her shell a bit more. It's hinted that it's a result of hanging around with Castle.
 * The titular character of Bones.
 * Kate from Fairly Legal, whose devotion to her work partially caused the break-up of her marriage.
 * Dr. Jacqueline Wade on St. Elsewhere has her eleven-year marriage to husband Robert end because of this trope.
 * Cmdr. Ed Straker from UFO destroyed his marriage over building and maintaining SHADO.
 * The X-Files is this trope. Mulder is obsessed with his work, so much so that he can't even fathom a relationship or even many friendships outside of it. His one goal in life is to expose the Truth and find out what happened to his sister. Scully starts off with somewhat of a personal life and even goes on a date in the first season, but eventually becomes just as entangled in the work as Mulder. This is somewhat of a Justified Trope, however. The Myth Arc cases aren't something that can easily be left in the office each night, and the line between work and personal life is obliterated. Especially when Mulder and Scully start getting abducted, their apartments are bugged, and are almost murdered several times in their own homes. Scully once acknowledges this self-destructive lifestyle in season six, asking Mulder if he ever just wanted to "get out of the damn car and live something approaching a normal life?" Mulder's reply? "This is a normal life." Also, work/personal life get even more entangled when

Newspaper Comics

 * In Beetle Bailey, Sarge has been "married" to the Army his entire life, so much that he hates wearing civvies and ends up a Rummage Sale Reject when he has to. He tends to falter a lot around Sergeant Lugg, who has a major crush on him.

Theater
"Roger: "Mark has got his work." They say Mark lives for his work, and Mark's in love with his work. Mark hides in his work. Mark: From what? Roger: From facing your failure, facing your loneliness, facing the fact you live a lie. Yes, you live a lie, tell you why: you're always preaching not to be numb, when that's how you thrive. You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive. Mark: Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive."
 * In Rent Roger claims that Mark has deliberately married his job, and Mark...doesn't really deny it. He does offer a defense, though: Survivor Guilt, stemming from being one of the few of his circle of friends without HIV/AIDS. From the song "Goodbye, Love":


 * In Lady in the Dark, Charley accuses Liza of being married to her desk.

Webcomics

 * In Kevin and Kell, a feline friend of Kell's, Aby, is literally married to her job. They had a wedding and everything.
 * The 'marriage' is complete with an anniversary gift (a new sign for her shop) and concern that she might be cheating on it (by making supplemental income on Ninth Life). (And apparently franchises are their equivalent of children)
 * Todo in City of Reality, as AV discovered during an attempted date.
 * Mordecai Heller from Lackadaisy Cats.
 * Redcloak, from The Order of the Stick. When his.
 * Invoked but subverted in Narbonic. When Zeta realises Artie is attracted to ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST! (before Artie himself has even realised he's gay) she tells him "It'll never work, honey, he's married to grammar" before adding as an afterthought "And actually married."

Video Games
"Max: I'm married to my career. Sam: They had the ceremony in Canada because it's legal there."
 * Alisa from Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness, and eventually Sunshine Islands, is basically a nun. She has an Ensemble Darkhorse status, and Marvelous just teases you in the latter by giving you heart events. She turns you down though.
 * is always working in Ef a Fairy Tale of The Two.  it's subverted.
 * Persona 4 deconstructs this with the Protagonist's uncle, Ryotaro Dojima. While he doesn't have a wife, he does have a young daughter, and because he spends so much time at work because of the serial murder case , he worries that he doesn't know how to raise Nanako properly. And to be fair,
 * One of the excuses Max uses in Sam & Max to turn down Mama Bosco.

"Carl: (pumps shotgun) You will NOT bring down MY POSTAL SERVICE!"
 * Keldorn from Baldurs Gate 2 is utterly dedicated to his duties as a Paladin of the Order of the Radiant Heart. So much so that he spends months at a time away from his family, to the point that his wife seeks comfort in the arms of another man. Even his own daughters are distant with him and prefer their mother's new paramour who at least spends time with them. His Personal Quest determines how he deals with this unhappy situation.
 * Samara in Mass Effect 2. She was married with children once, but when she became a Justicar (her people's equivalent of a Knight Errant) in order to hunt down a serial killer, she gave up all ties to her old life. If you play a Paragon Shepard (of either gender) and try to romance her, she will eventually ask you not to make her choose between the code and you. Renegade Shepard is too Trigger Happy for her to even consider it.
 * Cave Johnson in Portal 2 mentions that his aide Caroline is "married to science."
 * Carl Schiff, a psychopath and boss fight in Dead Rising 2, is absolutely devoted to finishing his routes. Not even a mall full of zombies and serial killers will stop him, though they do manage to make him a few minutes late. This makes him extremely upset, and when he finds out the man who he thinks is behind the outbreak (you), he pulls out s shotgun and starts throwing bombs.


 * Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog has complained about his boring life guarding the Master Emerald, but he takes his duty extremely seriously.
 * Aveline from Dragon Age II—at first, anyway. After her husband Wesley dies, she throws herself into her job as guardswoman (and later Guard Captain) so fully that, when she does end up developing feelings for another man (Guardsman Donnic), she has no clue what to do. Her personal sidequest involves attempting to get them together despite Aveline's lack of romantic skills. To say that Hawke has his/her job cut out for him/her is an understatement.
 * Sonya Blade in the Mortal Kombat series. This is why her marriage to Johnny Cage didn't work out, why she hasn't been much of a mother to Cassie, and for that matter, why most players were pretty shocked upon playing Mortal Kombat X for the first time that she ever married and had a daughter to begin with!

Western Animation

 * On Phineas and Ferb, Word of God says this is why they resisted Executive Meddling to give Perry a girlfriend.
 * SpongeBob SquarePants: The title character is very devoted to his job at the Krusty Krab. So devoted, in fact, that when he is forced to take a break in "Bummer Vacation," he.
 * The Simpsons: When Bart claims that he has a girlfriend, Groundskeeper Willy proclaims that he does to. She's a... bikini model from Switzerland. Right after Bart leaves
 * Buzz Lightyear's first and greatest love will always be to Star Command and the fight against evil.
 * On Batman the Brave And The Bold, Ice expresses a crush for Aquaman, only for Fire to point out that he's married. For some reason, Ice interprets her to mean this trope. (Though to be fair, his Day in The Limelight episode implies that that's sort of true too.)

Real Life

 * As shown by this list of projects, Brandon Sanderson definitely counts.
 * Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. Ozzy's ex-manager, Don Arden, happened to be Sharon's dad. Now he was Ozzy's father-in-law too.
 * In an unusually literal form of this trope, Queen Elizabeth I declared herself 'married to the kingdom' and never married, laying claim to the moniker 'the Virgin Queen'.
 * The widow of Meiji revolutionary Katsura Kogoro supposedly lamented: "I may be his wife, but Japan is his mistress."
 * In Jung Chang's autobiographical novel Wild Swans, it's described that in China, in the early times of the Communist regime, it was explicitly required for Party officers (like her father) to put their jobs before their families.
 * Drill sergeants have markedly higher divorce rates, especially in Combat Arms OSUTs, which are much longer, more intensive and stressful than Basic Training. Due to the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act of 1982, the wife will get half of all pay, pension and benefits in the case of divorce unless found guilty of adultery, so some D.I.'s who fear they'll be unable to hold onto their marriage will attempt to catch their spouse cheating, putting additional strain on the relationship.