Grave Humor/Quotes

Fallout 2 appears to have taken and incorporated a list of amusing gravestone inscriptions which has been circulating unattributed online (with minor variation) for decades. Entire printed books of these were compiled at least as far back as the 1960s:
 * Grave Humor by Alonzo C. Hall. Charlotte, N.C., McNally of Charlotte, 1961.
 * Over Their Dead Bodies by Thomas C. Mann and Janet Greene. Brattleboro, Vt., Stephen Greene Press, 1962.
 * Last Laughs: Funny Tombstone Quotes and Famous Last Words, Kathleen E. Miller, Sterling Publishing Company 2006.
 * I Told You I Was Sick: A Grave Book of Curious Epitaphs by Nigel Rees. 288 pages. Cassell (1 Nov 2005).

Some of these lists were created merely as a jokebook-style compilation, but many of the epitaphs are real and some date back centuries:

"Here lies the body of our Anna Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go."

- epitaph of Anna Hopewell, Enosburg Falls, Vermont

"The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna."

- epitaph of Anna Wallace in Ribbesford, England

"Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann."

- epitaph of Ann Mann, London UK, Dec. 8, 1767

"“Captain Thomas Coffin. Died 1842. Age 50 years. He’s done a-catching cod. And gone to meet his God.”"

- epitaph of a Rhode Island fisherman

"Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young."

- epitaph of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia

"To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu Born 15 September 1822 Accidentally shot 4th April 1844 As a mark of affection from his brother."

- epitaph in La Pointe, Wisconsin

"Gone, but not forgiven."

- epitaph of an adulterous husband in Atlanta

"Here underneath this little stone Lies Robert Earl of Huntington No archer were as he so good and people called him Robin Hood A skillful man, above all men this world will never see again"

- epitaph on a lone grave in a New England forest

"Jedediah Goodwin. Auctioneer. Born 1828. Going! Going! Gone! 1876."

- epitaph on an auctioneer’s tombstone

"G. Winch, the brewer, lies buried here. In life he was both hale and stout. Death brought him to his bitter bier. Now in heaven he hops about."

- a brewer's epitaph

"John E. Goembel. 1867-1946. The defense rests."

- an attorney’s epitaph

"Stranger tread this ground with gravity Dentist Brown is filling his last cavity"

- a dentist's epitaph

"Molly though pleasant in her day Was suddenly seized and sent away How soon she's ripe, how soon she's rott'n Sent to her grave and soon forgott'n"

- epitaph of Mary "Molly" Fowler, Milford Cemetery, Connecticut

"Professor S. B. McCracken School is out. Teacher has gone home."

- epitaph of an Elkhart, Indiana instructor

"Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803 His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted."

- epitaph of a widow in Vermont

"Beneath these stones do lie, Back to back my wife and I! When the last trumpet the air shall fill If she gets up, I'll just lie still."

- epitaph on a Sargentville, Maine grave

"Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No Les No More."

- epitaph of an 1880s Naco, Arizona Wells Fargo station agent in Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone AZ

"Underneath this pile of stones Lies all that's left of Sally Jones. Her name was Lord, it was not Jones, But Jones was used to rhyme with stones."

- epitaph on a tombstone in Skaneateles, New York

"Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising."

- epitaph in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery

"Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange."

- epitaph on a lawyer's grave in England

"Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake."

- epitaph in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery

"Reader if cash thou art In want of any Dig 4 feet deep And thou wilt find a Penny."

- epitaph of John Penny in Wimborne, England

"She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her."

- epitaph on Margaret Daniels' grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia

"On the 22nd of June - Jonathan Fiddle - Went out of tune."

- epitaph in a cemetery in Hartscombe, England

"In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs. Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another. The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other."

- an epitaph in Winslow, Maine

"Under the sod and under the trees Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod: Pease shelled out and went to God."

- epitaph from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts

"Gone Underground For Good."

- on a coal miner's grave

"Ellen Shannon, Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid.""

- epitaph in Girard, Pennsylvania

"Born 1903--Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was."

- epitaph of Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York

"Here lays Butch, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw."

- epitaph in a Silver City, Nevada cemetery

"I would rather be here than in Texas."

- gravestone in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

"She lived with her husband fifty years And died in the confident hope of a better life."

- gravestone in Burlington, Vermont

"Here lies my wife: Here let her lie! Now she's at rest And so am I."

- unknown, another version ends "Now she has peace/And so do I"

"Here Lies Mary Smith Silent At Last"

- unknown

"Rebecca Freeland, 1741. She drank good ale, good punch and wine, and lived to the age of 99."

- epitaph in a New Jersey cemetery

"Owen Moore Gone away Owin' more Than he could pay."

- epitaph in Battersea, London UK

"Here lies the body of Margaret Bent, She kicked up her heels and away she went."

- epitaph in Winterborn Steepleton Cemetery, Dorsetshire, England

"I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours."

- an anonymous gravesite in Stowe, Vermont

"He got a fish-bone in his throat and then he sang an angel note."

- an epitaph in Schenectady, New York

"Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me."

- epitaph from an English cemetery, also spotted in Atlanta. Various sermons mention a reply "To follow you I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went."

"Hooray my brave boys Let's rejoice at his fall. For if he had lived He would have buried us all."

- epitaph on a grave digger's own tombstone

"Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go."

- epitaph in a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery

"I told you I was sick!"

- Spike Milligan's epitaph


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