Artemis Fowl/Funny

"Holly: So... you're saying that Shelly is going to light a fart? Foaly: No, I'm saying that Shelly is going to light THE fart!"
 * "...I don't like lollipops..."
 * When Butler goes against his training and makes as much noise as he can (he's making a diversion). His shame over performing a spinning kick is just icing on the cake.
 * "This building has been hit by more lasers than the Millennium Falcon."
 * "It's not a lemur, it's a monkey!"
 * Orion. Just Orion.
 * Especially since he's an expy of Don Quixote mixed with a Hormone-Addled Teenager.
 * "Look, I scraped an F for Foaly."
 * Artemis in jeans and a dumb t-shirt..
 * We should make a bivouac.
 * I'd like to state for the record that bivouac was Dictionary.com's word of the day recently.
 * "Quantum zombies. I'd like to get a copy of that program."
 * Everything N*1 says. EVERYTHING.
 * Then there is this gem concerning the Kraken from the Time Paradox:


 * "Peace be inside me, tolerance around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so I may feed him his organs"
 * "One, don't call me Julius. Two, do what I say, horsey boy, or I'll have your budget slashed. And three, what in Frond's name is the cancan?"
 * "That proves it... This must be a hallucination." (Mind-wiped Artemis' reaction to A Day At the Bizarro culminating in being saved by a talking rear end (Mulch Diggums hanging from a rope).