Hank the Cowdog



"It's me again, Hank the Cowdog."

- Hank, at the beginning of each book.

Hank the Cowdog is a series of children's books written by John R. Erickson starting the titular hound. The adventures consist of the goings-on at the West Texas ranch where Hank acts as the "Head of Ranch Security." He is assisted (if you can call it that) by Drover, his sidekick and a chronic coward. Together, they work tirelessly to keep the ranch safe from any threat, be it moles in the garden or blood-thirsty coyotes raiding the chicken coop, with Hank's ego and Drover's bad leg providing plenty of humor along the way.

"Hank: Case closed, and back to work!"
 * And the Adventure Continues...: More than one book has ended with this tone, implying that the work of the Head of Ranch Security never ends.

"Drover: She had pretty brown eyes... Hank: Were they pretty and brown or pretty brown? This could be important! Drover: Both. They were pretty and brown. And pretty brown."
 * Animated Adaptation: The first book was adapted into an episode of CBS's Storybreak.
 * Big Badass Wolf: Many of the members of the coyote tribe fit the trope's description, despite not actually being wolves.
 * Betty and Veronica: Beulah (collie next door who has a boyfriend) and Missy Coyote (coyote princess who was once offered to Hank if he would attack the ranch).
 * Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs:

"Hank: If there's anything worse than pretense, it's reality. And anything that weighs 1200 pounds and bites and kicks and stomps must be considered reality."
 * Cats Are Mean: Pete the Barncat often teases and takes advantage of Hank and the other characters. Other cats aren't shown to be much better.
 * The Chief's Daughter: Missy Coyote
 * Drunken Song: "Monkey Business"
 * Everything's Better with Chickens: Chickens are described by Hank as being so dumb that they only have six words in their own language, three of which are just different cries for help. J.T. Cluck, the head rooster, is shown speaking fluently on other occasions, so he may be smarter than your average hen.
 * Everything's Better with Monkeys: The story Monkey Business has Hank finding a monkey in a crate and using him as his own personal servant, inflating his ego in the process. The monkey later starts talking and usurps Hank's command, calling himself the Pasha of Shizzam.
 * Exit Pursued By Two Coyotes: Sinister the Bobcat in Lost in the Dark Unchanted Forest.
 * Expospeak Gag: Hank usually describes his physiology as if he were a high-tech piece of machinery, especially when he's getting ready for a fight.
 * Fantastic Racism: The coyotes are portrayed like stereotypical Native Americans, with a leader named Chief Many Rabbit Gut Eat in Full Moon.
 * Girl Next Door: Beulah, the neighbor's collie.
 * Good Ol' Boy: The cowboys, especially Slim. Rip and Snort are described by Hank as "good 'ol boy coyotes" who love nothing more than fighting, eating, and singing (in that order).
 * Heroic Dog: Hank, having sworn an oath "to protect and defend all innocent children against all manner of monsters and evil things."
 * Horsing Around: Hank hates horses because, not only do they think they're better than everybody else, they will go out of their way to try and prove it.


 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Hank isn't nearly as strong as he boasts he is, as smart as he boasts he is, or as charismatic as he boasts he is...but when the cards are down and someone's in danger, he still charges into battle as though he was.
 * Lame Excuse: Whenever Drover suspects the slightest possible risk, he'll complain about his leg hurting. Once or twice Hank has done the same thing when he's really scared.
 * Little-Known Facts: Hank always tries to impress Drover with exaggerated explanations of natural phenomenon. Drover, of course, believes him.
 * Lord Error-Prone: Hank pretty much epitomizes this trope; he's a canine Don Quixote who actually winds up against legitimate enemies most of the time. There's even a sequence where he and his sidekick, Drover, confuse a thunderstorm with an enemy invasion.
 * The Owl-Knowing One: Madam Moonshine, the witchy little owl. She often provides magical assistance to Hank when it suits her, although she does have some odd mannerisms, like referring to him as "Hank the Rabbit."
 * Malaproper: Hank himself. Sometimes he catches it and tries to correct himself, with varying degrees of success. Blunt Metaphors Trauma is also a defining narrative trait of his.
 * Mama Bear: Sally May, mother of Little Alfred and Baby Molly. Unfortunately, Hank is quite often the target of her scorn for "corrupting" her children. Still, more than once she's stood up to some pretty serious dangers to keep her kids safe.
 * Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Sinister the Bobcat and Scraunch the Terrible.
 * Narrator: Hank tells each adventure himself, if the opening line didn't tip you off.
 * Rascally Raccoon: Eddy the Rac is a cute little orphan raccoon Hank runs into occasionally. He's a nice kid, but his Trickster Archetype creeps up on him often.
 * Those Two Bad Guys: Rip and Snort, the coyote brothers.
 * Unreliable Narrator: Played with; Hank tends to flavor the stories to make himself appear stronger and braver than he really is, but when he comes to a really humiliating defeat like losing a fight or running away, he'll tell the reader to send the kids off to bed so they don't hear it.
 * Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Hank is terrified of, appropriately enough, snakes.
 * The Voiceless: Rip, who only grunts in affirmation ("Uh") or negation ("Uh-uh"). Lampshaded by Hank who tries to get Snort to swear an oath beginning with the line "I, Snort the coyote, and my brother Rip who never seems to talk..."
 * You No Take Candle: The Coyote Dialect as we hear it. Hank talks about it as if it's an actual language, but it's never clarified whether or not we're just hearing a translation.