The End Is Near

The End Is Near (available at Fanfiction.net and Livejournal) is a Lighter and Softer Alternate Universe Death Note Fan Fiction by Tierfal.

Mello only wants his Cocoa Puffs, but Near just has to spoil his quest for sugar-laden cereal by disappearing, leaving behind nothing but puzzle pieces. Since Near would never, ever leave toys lying around, Mello deduces that something’s amiss. He grabs Matt, and the two of them head off to Japan to enlist the help of the Great Detective L-- and, by extension, the pretty-boy L’s handcuffed to-- in recovering the white-haired wonder.

That’s where the fun begins.

Chock-full of puns, UST, crossdressing, Double Entendre, and other things of that nature, it’s a well-done AU that forgets neither that Canon does, in fact, exist, nor that it itself is supposed to be really, really funny.

"Mello: It's like Near’s version of a breadcrumb trail, right? So we follow the pieces and find him. Light: Are you suggesting that we should comb the entirety of Great Britain for a couple of puzzle pieces?"
 * Alliteration: Quite often in the narration.
 * Alternate Universe
 * Arson, Murder, and Admiration: Mello and Light.
 * Attractive Bent Gender:
 * Author Appeal: The various songs played throughout the fic, pale skin, chocolate.
 * Author Filibuster: Tierfal really doesn’t like modern art.
 * Aw, Look -- They Really Do Love Each Other: Mello and Near.
 * Big Bad:
 * Bishonen: Light and Mello. Lampshaded.
 * Boys Love
 * Brain Bleach: Light spends a lot of time wishing for some.
 * Brand Names Are Better: Mello concedes that Light might not be so bad-- after all, the boy did buy him brand-name chocolate chips.
 * Butt Monkey: Light, oh so much.
 * Casanova Wannabe: John Falstaff.
 * Chekhov's Gun: The white chocolate bar
 * Chekhov's Gunman:
 * Costume Porn
 * Crack Fic
 * Crowning Moment of Awesome: L gives the phrase “violent protest” a whole new meaning.
 * Crowning Moment of Funny: Any time Light's "advice column" comes up; the very last line of the story.
 * "Are you sure you weren't dating Mello?"
 * Crowning Moment of Heartwarming: Most of Chapter 18.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Everybody, especially Light.
 * Disguised in Drag
 * Distracted By the Shiny
 * Divided We Fall: Mello notes that the problem with this investigation is that you have three Type A personalities together in one room...
 * Does He Have a Brother?: Fiona and her posse, about Light.
 * Double Entendre: Mello loves them.
 * Drink Order: Mello orders L a strawberry martini and himself a margarita. Light goes for Long Island Iced Tea.
 * Drives Like Crazy: Mello.
 * Dropped a Bridget On Him: Mello to Falstaff.
 * Dude, Where's My Respect?: Light.
 * Everyone Can See It: There's a betting pool among the Wammy kids on how long it will take Matt and Mello to hook up.
 * Everything's Better with Chocolate
 * Face Palm
 * Fan Art: L from Chapter 19 and Mello from Chapter 25.
 * Fan Girl: Light is pretty popular with quite a few of the girls at Wammy’s House.
 * Fan Nickname: In-universe example. Mello christens L and Light’s handcuffs the Kinky Chain.
 * Five-Man Band:
 * The Hero: L
 * The Lancer: Light, Mello
 * The Big Guy: Matt
 * The Smart Guy: well, everyone.
 * The Chick / Damsel in Distress: Near
 * The Sixth Ranger: Light
 * Really more a Four-Temperament Ensemble: Mello's Sanguine, Light's Choleric, L's Melancholic, and Matt is Phlegmatic.
 * For Want of a Nail: In this ficverse
 * Fridge Logic: How have Light and L managed to get their shirts on and off if L’s been hiding the key to the Kinky Chain?
 * Goggles Do Something Unusual: Matt's Blind Without'Em.
 * Gotta Catch Em All:

"L: Where'd you learn to drive a getaway car like this?"
 * Heroic BSOD: Light, after he
 * Heterosexual Life Partners: Mello and Matt,  Arguably, Tierfal herself and her beta reader, Eltea.
 * I Can't Dance
 * I Know Mortal Kombat:

"Light: Higuchi's still raving. Apparently he just says the same thing over and over—'Everyone who touched it should be dead.' L: Touched what? Mello: Bow chicka bow wow."
 * I Need a Freaking Drink: Matt at the club. Too bad he's the designated driver.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: Mostly courtesy of Matt. If we count them all, we’ll be here all day.
 * Irritation Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery:
 * It Amused Me: Mello wants to see someone's head get bitten off, even if it's his own. L tries to point out to him that Teaching Light Anger is a suicidal idea...
 * It Never Gets Any Easier
 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Mello and Light.
 * Lampshade Hanging
 * If You Know What I Mean:

"The eyes of the young woman with the room service cart fixated immediately on the glinting silver chain between the shirtless Light and his rumpled companion. Ryuzaki paused tactfully. "Whatever it looks like," he told her, "rest assured that that is not what it is." Somehow, she didn't look convinced."
 * Lighter and Softer
 * MacGuffin: The puzzle pieces.
 * Metrosexual: Light
 * Moment Killer: Mello in Chapter 14.
 * The Nicknamer: Mello.
 * Not What It Looks Like

""Man, if all you had to do to get the royal treatment around here was to make out with another guy, Matt was just going to-- Um. Nothing.""
 * Pass the Popcorn: The end of the club scene.
 * Pet the Dog: Rather, Beat The Dog That Goes After Near With A Cricket Bat Until It Stops Moving.
 * and what Light does to the stewardess who tries to make L sit properly. He's petting one dog while kicking another....
 * Precision F-Strike
 * Pungeon Master: Matt. Kat and Light occasionally join in.
 * Relationship Upgrade
 * Rickroll
 * Rule of Funny
 * Running Gag: Light's imaginary advice column.
 * Light overhearing Un Entendre conversations between Mello and Matt that are invariably not what they look like… except for the one time he doesn't assume that he’ll regret seeing what’s going on behind that door.
 * His lack of creativity is disheartening.
 * Said Bookism
 * Sealed Evil in a Can: Light. He still has his watch...
 * Shout-Out: "...Cal and his stuffed tiger mascot..."; many to various video games.
 * "I am an agent of chaos." "Do you know what a dog does when it catches a car?"
 * Shower Scene: Light sings in the shower.
 * Slash Fic
 * Stupid Sexy Flanders
 * Tastes Like Diabetes: Several in-universe examples. Matt wonders if you can get cavities from cuteness.
 * This Is for Emphasis, Bitch
 * This Song Goes Out to Tv Tropes: This song goes out to “Matty-Cake Bakersman” from “your fluorescent friend.”
 * Title Drop: The End is Near: A Photographic History of Prophetic Pessimists.
 * Trouser Space: Where does Mello keep that chocolate, anyway?
 * Un Entendre: See Running Gag above.
 * Unresolved Sexual Tension
 * Van in Black: Matt and Mello make a bet whether there's one involved in Near's kidnapping.
 * Victoria's Secret Compartment: Fiona hides Matt’s goggles down her shirt.
 * What Did I Do Last Night?: Played with. Mello pranks Light by crawling into his bed while Light's sleeping off a night of drink and dancing. Hilarity Ensues.
 * Wholesome Crossdresser: Well, not exactly wholesome...
 * With a Capital T: "Weirdos like that-- they spell trouble with a capital M-E-L-L-O. Er, T."
 * With Friends Like These...
 * Yaoi Fangirl:
 * Yaoi Fangirl:


 * Your Mom: One of Mello's favorite insults.