Blogging Twilight/YMMV

"JACOB: So you want me to run away with Optimus…alone? Like, alone-alone? BELLA: Yes. You will be her father and guardian, and I want you to…why are you wearing that satin robe? JACOB: Um…it helps me run. BELLA: And where is that Barry White music coming from? JACOB: My phone. The sexy sounds of B. W. helps me run. BELLA: And why are you lighting scented candles? I suppose that helps you run, too. JACOB: Yes, particularly the candle called Night XXX-tasy. BELLA: And the coconut body oil? JACOB: I thought everyone slathered on body oil when trying to hide. No? Hmm. OPTIMUS: Mommy. BELLA: What it is, my little snow pea? OPTIMUS: I accidentally lost the backpack. BELLA: What?! OPTIMUS: I just wanted to see if it would float in the river. And it did. And now it's gone. And I'm sorry. And I want Popsicles for dinner. BELLA: But…but…the money? It's gone? And Jacob, why are you running an ice cube over your body in a suggestive manner? JACOB: Helps me run. [Looks at Optimus] Who's your daddy, princess?"
 * Crosses the Line Twice: The prediction on Blogging Breaking Dawn Part 35, which goes like this (keeping in mind that "Optimus" is Renesmee, and therefore a child):

Reaction was split between this and...
 * Dude, Not Funny
 * Despair Event Horizon: Dan's reaction to Breaking Dawn chapter 18.
 * Memetic Badass: According to Dan, Emmett, Jacob, and the werewolves.
 * Moral Event Horizon: Dan believes Alice, Edward, and Bella cross it when they allowed the Volturi to kill the tourists. He spends a review and a half upset over it and often brings it up.
 * Squick: Dan's reaction to Quil's girlfriend. He gets over it rather quickly and now constantly mocks him.