Grand Unifying Guesses/Pokémon

Ash's father is...

 * Giovanni
 * Lugia
 * Professor Oak
 * His mom.
 * Arceus
 * Darth Vader
 * And since everyone ever voiced and played by is the same person, Joker is his brother.
 * Fire Lord Ozai
 * Captain Jack Harkness
 * Zeus
 * Chuck Norris
 * Obviously, a Time Lord
 * Vince McMahon, damnit!
 * A male reincarnation of Haruhi Suzumiya.
 * Shinji Ikari.
 * Himself
 * Ash
 * James Bond
 * Mrs. Cartman
 * John Redcorn
 * Gandalf the Grey or Gandalf the White
 * Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black knight
 * Benito Mussolini
 * The Blue Meanie
 * Cowboy Curtis
 * Jambi the genie
 * The Robocop
 * The Terminator
 * Captain Kirk
 * Darth Vader
 * Lo Pan
 * Superman
 * Any one of the Power Rangers
 * Bill S. Preston esq. or Ted Theodore Logan
 * Spock
 * Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
 * Doc Ock
 * Or Hulk Hogan.
 * Mr. Rogers
 * Commander Shepard
 * Ellis
 * Terry Bogard
 * All of the above. At the same time.
 * Gary Oak, who's actually Professor Oak's son with a case of stunted growth.
 * Spike Spiegel
 * Eaten by a Crack.
 * Unknown until the creators tell us, which will probably never happen. They don't really care.