With Friends Like These.../Quotes

"Red Mage: Would you rather be killed by Sarda or by your beloved friends? Black Mage: Neither! Also, I hate you guys. Red Mage: Hate is a kind of Love."

- Eight Bit Theater

"Penny: Why do you hang out with [Sheldon]? Howard: We like Leonard [Sheldon's roommate]."

- The Big Bang Theory

"You guys are the worst friends ever!"

- Joey, Yu-gi-oh! The Abridged Series

"There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her. They never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them."

- Leonato, Much Ado About Nothing, I.i.60

"Hobbes: You know, maybe we don't need enemies. Calvin: Yeah, best friends are about all I can take."

- Calvin and Hobbes, after another snowball fight.

"But as she shook your hand, she stole your man And it was done so swift, it had to be a plan Couldn't trust her with cheese, let alone your keys With friends like that you dont need enemies"

- Whodini, "Friends"

"Stan: We're gonna go to save the little baby cows, fatass! Cartman: What? Why? Kyle: 'Cause they're gonna get slaughtered tomorrow, butthole! Cartman: So? Stan: So we can't let 'em die, douchebag! You're our friend; now come help us! Cartman: Well, let's see. In the last 3.2 seconds you've called me "fatass", "butthole", and "douchebag". I really don't feel like you guys' friend."

- South Park, "Fun With Veal"

"You know, you guys are the reason I need therapy."

- Krillin, Dragon Ball Abridged.

"If you were Harry's enemy, his plots might be hard to see through at first, they might even be stupid, but his reasoning would make sense once you understood it, you would comprehend that he was trying to hurt you. The way Harry was acting toward Draco right now did not make sense. Because if you were Harry's friend, then he tried to be friends with you in the alien, incomprehensible way he'd been raised by Muggles to do, even if it meant destroying your entire life. [...] And Draco realized with a note of horror and despair, that although it was a terrifying fate indeed to be Harry's friend, Harry now had so many different avenues for threatening Draco that being his enemy would be even worse. Probably. Maybe. Well, he could always switch to being enemies later... He was doomed."

- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Machiavellian Intelligence Hypothesis