The Rap Critic



""Oh, if only Todd were here to not unfunny-ify and stomp all over what few jokes I do have."

"Well, I'm Not Todd!! ...Crap, now I'm doing it.""

- The Nostalgia Chick and Rap Critic

Let's talk about the Rap Critic.

He critiques rap for the pants-shittingly huge That Guy With The Glasses reviewer-topia. Along with Todd in the Shadows and Paw Dugan he's a music critic. He is also found on Reviewtopia. He raps a little as well, but not in his reviews; well, not much anyway.

His work can be found here.

""Let's talk about (Artist Du Jour)" "I'm the Rap Critic. I analyze the rhymes, cause no one else does." "You don't have to like my opinion, but I don't have to like your song.""
 * Actually Pretty Funny: He got a chuckle from the "left nut" line of the otherwise execrable "Just Lose It".
 * A Date with Rosie Palms
 * All Asians Are Alike: Said by Animetalchick in the review of "Just Can't Get Enough".
 * Angry Black Man: Averted so hard that even he is surprised at how calm he stays.
 * Justified in his "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... This Year (2011) video, as he bemoans the horrible state mainstream music has become.
 * Black and Nerdy: Self-admitted.
 * Brick Joke: Snoop Dogg leading an army of gummy bears in a Katy Perry music video.
 * Broke the Rating Scale: He's used both kinds of Type 1. He's given several 0 out of 5 ratings, and one 6 out of 5.
 * The Cameo:
 * He appeared in Sad Panda's Q and A Episode 1, Paw Dugan's list of Top 9 Marx Brothers Music Moments, Todd in the Shadows' review of "Whip My Hair" and Atop the Fourth Wall's review of "Eminem/The Punisher #1".
 * In return the Animetalchick appears in "Just Can't Get Enough" (though she only calls herself "the camera guy's sister", with her name appearing in her next appearance). She also returns in a Worst Lyrics of September 2011 to comment on two ("tokyo diamonds!" and "I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian!") and Kreayshawn's "Gucci Gucci" as a "Female Rap Critic".
 * Bhargav, Demoversi, Todd in the Shadows, Il Neige, and Diamanda Hagan all have cameos in his crossover with Marc Mues.
 * As The Nostalgia Critic had reviewed Kazaam, the Rap Critic tried to get him for a Shaq Diesel crossover. It doesn't work.
 * He offers Marc Mues a rhyme in his Worst 6 Pop Songs of 2011 video.
 * Long cameo in the Brows Held High episode for Ghost Dog, explaining to Oancitizen who RZA is, and
 * Provides a voice-over cameo in Film Brain's review of The Marine as a sitcom narrator.
 * The Cast Showoff:
 * Rapped a little in his Fat Joe review; it was pretty cool.
 * He recently posted one of his songs, "L-Literation". It was also pretty cool.
 * Hell, he can even sing opera!
 * Catch Phrase:

"Young Dro: Tokyo Diamonds, CHOI-OI-OI-OING Animetalchick: This is ridiculous. Rap Critic: Yeah, diamonds don't come from Japan. {*Animetalchick glares at him*} What...?"
 * Comically Missing the Point: Does this in "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... this Month" for September 2011.

""There's no creativity, there's no focus, and there's no...focus.""
 * Cowboy Bebop at His Computer: In "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... this Month" for September 2011, he confuses rapper "Young Dro" with "Young Joc".
 * Cluster F-Bomb: Complained about the one which kicks off "Hustlin'".
 * Crossover:
 * With Todd in the Shadows for "It Wasn't Me", and the Animetalchick in a "Worst Lyrics" battle between rap and metal.
 * And again to review Runaway
 * With Marc Mues for "Raise Up" and Soulja Boy: The Movie.
 * Pops up frequently enough in the Brows Held High review of Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai given the films context and score by The RZA to be more than just a cameo. Especially as he winds up
 * Deadpan Snarker
 * Department of Redundancy Department: From his very first review, of Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg's "Nothin' But a G Thang":

"Rap Critic: Don't you even care that this movie -- the first the feature a score by a major rap artist -- created a major step toward solidifying the hip-hop aesthetic as a cultural, viable expression to an artistic crowd?! (beat) Damn, started to sound like you for a second." Oan: It happens."
 * Did Not Do the Research: In his review for Young Jeezy's "My President" he is under the impression that Young Jeezy didn't write the song. He misinterpreted the introduction of the song, when Jeezy said he didn't write the song, he was saying he didn't write down on paper and did it from the top of head similar to rappers such as Jay-Z or Kanye West. While the mistake is understandable, he could've checked the liner notes or just looked it up to have avoided it.
 * His reaction to the beginning of the "Moment for Life" video shows he's unfamilliar with the She Is the King trope and its real life examples.
 * Ending Fatigue: Says Mack Maine's verse (or outro) on Young Money's "Every Girl" qualifies as this because it broke the three verse structure and didn't add to the song.
 * Enforced Plug: His album Polarity Switch at the end of the "Death of Autotune" review.
 * Face Palm: His reaction to "Ass (Remix)" by Big Sean. He needs a moment before he can make any comments.
 * Fridge Logic: Plenty in the songs he reviews.
 * Fun with Subtitles: Whenever the lyrics are overtly stupid, the caption reads something along the line of *lyrics are too insulting to my intellect to type*...
 * Even the Subtitler Is Stumped: ...and when they are unintelligible, they read "?".
 * Screw This, I'm Outta Here: In Shaq Diesel, a particularly garbled song is interrupted with "*you don't pay me enough to do this...*"
 * Also, during Tech N9NE's Motor Mouth lyrics, it says "what do you expect me to do here?", explaining that it's hard to type and the editing software can't paste text.
 * In the Worst Lyrics of September 2011, the "Owned by [Record Label]" gets this twice: "Rubberband Banks" is "owned by label that's owned by one of the Big Four REAL record companies that own all the music you listen to" and "Balla Baby" is "...well, I'm not sure if ANYONE wants to take credit for this...".
 * Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: Todd and the Critic argued that the cheated girlfriend on "It Wasn't Me" was following the action so closely that she probably wanted a part of it. And said the cheater would be a lucky guy for this!
 * Go Mad From the Revelation:
 * In the "Hustlin'" review, after Rick Ross rhymes "twenty-two" with "twenty-two" twice.
 * And after the Truck Driver's Gear Change in "Just Can't Get Enough".
 * Got Me Doing It: Butting heads with Oancitizen over the themes of Ghost Dog.

"Rap Critic: What do you mean 'who am I'? We're both on the same site! I've been on Channel Awesome long than you have! I'm the Rap Critic! Oan: (Beat) OH, yes, yes, yes. ...So, uh, what do you do? Rap Critic: (Death Glare)"
 * Hell-Bent for Leather: His jacket.
 * Heroic BSOD: After listening to Rick Ross' "Hustlin'".
 * Hypocritical Humor: In the It Was a Good Day review, when he tells Ice Cube that he should cook his own breakfast since he's like 24 at the time of the video - and then yelling "Hey Mom, where's my breakfast?!"
 * In the "Just Can't Get Enough" review, Animetalchick cameos to mention that she was offended by the song quoting a certain stereotypical line from Full Metal Jacket, then claims that All Asians Are Alike.
 * Let's See You Do Better:
 * Addressed in his "Death of Autotune" review, where he notes he DOES rap.
 * One of the songs from his album also is basically about how much better he is than the people he criticizes.
 * Mood Whiplash: He calls this on Drake's "Best I Ever Had", which goes from love song to sex song.
 * Monkeys on a Typewriter: On "Just Can't Get Enough", he says that the monkeys need to be hired, as they could write a line better than "Love lovey, yeah you know you are my demon".
 * Narm:
 * He breaks out into hysterics after hearing Rick Ross' verse "Whip it, whip it real hard"... both times.
 * Also, when he hears Master P's "I Miss My Homies" (specially because he expected a somber theme... and got a kinda cheery tune with a "Frankenstein's Monster moan") he laughs so much he stops talking about it.
 * Has a similar reaction to T-Pain's "Rap Song" after hearing him say "And I'mma do you like Kanye and I'mma let you finish".
 * Nice Hat
 * "No. Just... No" Reaction: He gives this expression several times, including:
 * When choosing a Lil Wayne song and coming across "A Milli".
 * At the line in "The Jump Off" where Lil' Kim tells listeners of his race to pollute their britches by the mere presence of her and Timbaland.
 * Topping off his review of "Hustlin'".
 * Nostalgia Filter: From giving poor grades to "Rollin'" and "Hey Ma"--both of which he liked as a kid--to pointing out the lyrical deficiencies in G-funk classics, it's safe to say it's averted.
 * He also admits Petey Pablo's "Raise Up", a North Carolina anthem isn't really as good as he liked it ten years ago.
 * Parody Failure: He calls this on the supposed Stealth Parody of Kesha.
 * Pet Peeve Trope: He has a few
 * Product Placement: Once he reacts with a plug of his own record.
 * Rhyming with Itself
 * Running Gag: No one else from TGWTG knowing who he is, or mistaking him for Todd in the Shadows, or kicking him out of their reviews.

"Lil Wayne: She wanna be Weezy F. babysitter/ Say she wish she cut off my dick and take it with her. Rap Critic: Ahhhh...."
 * Scare Chord: Used whenever he gives a grade of 5 out of 5 or higher. When he gave a 6 out of 5 (for "No Love" by Eminem and Lil Wayne), he even lampshaded the Scare Chord by telling it to shut up.
 * Self Deprecating Humor / Hypocritical Humor:
 * He often makes fun of his show's low production values.
 * Most of his TGWTG Crossover reviews start with the other reviewer either totally failing to recognise him as a fellow contributor, or trying to weasel out of doing the review with him, or both.
 * Shout-Out: Recommends Tech N9ne in a few videos.
 * Squick:

"All up in my face/I'm startin' to get mad Rap Critic: (monotone) And you can really tell by how angry I sound."
 * After hearing Mack Maine's "I exchange V-Cards (virginity) with the retards" lyrics in "Every Girl" he's so grossed out he abruptly ends the review and doesn't attempt to snark at it.
 * Take That: "Oh Really" is an entire song dedicated to criticizing rappers that are "gangsta" and their over-saturation.
 * Talking to Himself: His Running Gag of "Hey, Guy #1!" "Yeah, Guy #2?"...
 * Tempting Fate: After "Hey Soul Sister"'s "So gangsta, I'm so thug", he says "Next, there's gonna be an Asian pop group who says they're gangsta too". Cut to a similar line of "Like a G6"...
 * That Makes Me Feel Angry: Commented on in his Soulja Boy review.

"Why Top 9? Because I like to take it one step below, in honor to the subpar, underachieving lyrics we're about to face."
 * Too Much Information: His reaction to Drake saying "My shirt ain't got no stripes but I can make your pussy whistle, like the Andy Griffith theme song!"
 * Top Ten List: He does a "Top 9 Worst Rhymes of 2010". And explaining the number, he does a reverse of The Nostalgia Critic's explanation/number.


 * When He Smiles: Has a brilliantly white smile.
 * Younger Than They Look: Believe it or not, he's a whole two years younger than Film Brain, making The Rap Critic TGWTG's youngest main contributor. The guy can easily pass for mid-twenties, early thirties.