Highborn



Highborn is a Turn Based Strategy game for the iPod/iPad/iPhone. In this game, you control the army of the Highborn as they protect the land from the forces of the Decay. Along the way, there's plenty of amusing dialogue, with lots of Incredibly Lame Puns and lampshading.

And yes, the creators totally know we exist.

"Trillian: Wait, how are we even talking?
 * 20% More Awesome: The chapters are listed as being "18.75% more fun per volume!"
 * Acoustic License: the characters are often able to talk from across the map. This even gets lampshaded once:

Enzo: It's a plot device; roll with it."

"Rosencrantz: Here we are, marching across this razor-sharp infection waiting to happen, towards what is likely certain death at the hands of these do-gooders, and you're concerned with CALORIES?!"
 * Action Girl: Trillian.
 * Action Hero: The three, um, Heroes: Archie, Enzo, and Trillian.
 * Actual Pacifist: The Monk. While they are invaluable as healers, they can't fight at all. They automatically die without entering the combat screen if an enemy engages them.
 * Amplifier Artifact: Idols, which boost defense, attack power, or number of spaces you can move.
 * The Archer: These guys can be either on the side of the Highborn or the Decay.
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:

"Trillian: Hey, I think you two have broken the fourth wall enough this mission."
 * Dragon coming-of-age rituals apparently involve the razing of towns, theft of treasure, consumption of wild worms, and gifting of pens.
 * An Axe to Grind: Dwarves carry magical axes as their weapon. The Minotaur carries an axe as well.
 * Badass Spaniard: Enzo.
 * : Chapter 3 ends with . Even Floyd is surprised.
 * Battle Couple: in Chapter 3.
 * Better Than a Bare Bulb: If you haven't figured it out by reading this page, they really love to lampshade things.
 * Big Bad: Floyd the Arch-Lich, in the first and second chapters.
 * Breaking Out the Boss: The first round of chapter 3, entitled "Inevitable Breakout."
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: Done quite often; they'll comment on how long the dialogue is, and things of that nature. Even this isn't immune to being lampshaded:

"Archie: Wow, there sure is a lot of stuff hiding in that small forest."
 * Butt Monkey: Poor Minotaur. He just wants to support his family, but he keeps getting defeated by everyone and made the subject of bovine-related puns.
 * The Cake Is a Lie: The tutorial's description promises there will be cake at the end, but turns out there is none.
 * Chuck Norris Facts: Floyd the Arch-Lich claims he can't stand these.
 * Clown Car Base: In the tutorial, there's a tiny patch of trees that several monsters keep coming out of (too many to normally fit). This gets lampshaded:

"So, the wetlands. Named so due to all the um... wetness."
 * Compensating for Something: The Arch-Lich claims that Archie's large sword is this.
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: Members of and buildings that belong to the Decay are red. Members of and buildings that belong to the Highborn are blue. The colors are switched around when you play as the Decay faction in chapter 3.
 * Lampshaded//LeaningOnTheFourthWall a couple times when a character points out that another is red or blue so that means they must be on a certain side.
 * Control Room Puzzle: The Portal-themed mission in Chapter 3 operates this way.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Some of the battles, particularly when using one of your Heroes to fight a weaker Mook such as Imps or Skeletons.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Many of the characters - all three of the Heroes at some point or another, and occasionally some of the enemies as well. Special mention goes to Floyd the Arch-Lich, who has a snarky comment for anything that happens.
 * Dem Bones: Skeletons.
 * Department of Redundancy Department: A mage in chapter 1 welcomes Enzo to the wizard's council on behalf of the "Order of the Natural Order".
 * Don't Explain the Joke: The encyclopedia entry for Foozle acknowledges this trope, but then proceeds to explain the joke anyway, since it's pretty subtle.
 * Dual-Wielding: Trillian uses two daggers, and dwarves carry two small axes.
 * Eldritch Abomination: iB.
 * Embarrassing First Name:
 * The Arch-Lich's first name is Floyd, and he's astonished that Archie knows his name.
 * During the second chapter, Archie's pizza order finally arrives, addressed to Archibald T. Paladin. Archie claims that he doesn't know anyone called Archibald.
 * Exactly What It Says On the Tin: In the "Time for Council" mission in Chapter 1, Enzo introduces you to the location you're at:

"Floyd: I guess the Highborn wanted to BEEF up security. MOO bad it didn't work; because I'm breaking out, and there is DAIRY a thing you can do about it. Maybe you shouldn't have had deCALF this morning.... BWAHAHA! Have you ever HERD such a great joke? Practice up, I'm sure we'll do battle an UDDER day.
 * Face Heel Turn: Enzo's encyclopedia entry claims that he considered doing this in order to keep his riches, but he knew he was Archie's hero, and didn't want to become a Broken Pedestal.
 * Fighter, Mage, Thief: The three Heroes: Archie, Enzo, and Trillian.
 * Fragile Speedster: Flying Machines.
 * Fridge Logic: Used in-universe: a knight muses about how healing works on the undead. Shouldn't it hurt them, if they're alrady dead? Or maybe resurrect them?
 * Full Name Ultimatum: "HARCOURT FENTON MINOTAUR!", though in the third chapter they seem to forget the name and call him Bill in his encyclopedia entry instead.
 * Glad I Thought of It: Archie, Enzo, and Trillian each claim that breaking monoliths to take down the Master Monolith was their idea. (It really was Trillian's.)
 * Glass Cannon: Militia and Mad Wizards. Justified since they don't wear any armor. Cabus even refers to them as "glass cannons" in chapter 3.
 * Good News, Bad News: Archie tells Enzo he's got good news and bad news. Enzo says to tell him half the good news first, then the bad news, then the other half of the good news.
 * Great Big Book of Everything: There's an "encyclopedia", of sorts, which lets you read a biography/description of all friends, foes, spells, and buildings. You just have to have one existing in your current game to read the entry about it (apart from spells).
 * Hair-Raising Hare: Enzo comments at one point in chapter 1 that he thought he'd have to unleash the killer rabbits from his hat trick, or his bloodthirsty doves of doom.
 * Half-Human Hybrid: children, who are called "Worgons":
 * Harmful to Touch: Poisonous swamps (except to monks, the undead, Icky, iBs, and war machines). Fortunately the swamps are always bright purple, so you're automatically suspicious of them.
 * Heel Face Revolving Door: Monty the Dragon. He admits it in the last mission of Chapter 3.
 * Heel Face Turn:  after her marriage to.
 * Hurricane of Puns: The characters do this, on occasion, but once again, Floyd gets a special mention when he unleashes one on the Minotaur.

Floyd: Don't even try to stop me folks, I've got a million of 'em!"

"Trillian: What is this, some silly adventure game from the 90's where we have to go traipsing across the countryside at the whim of some stupid writer who keeps trying to justify his ridiculous story with paper-thin plot points and loony objectives?"
 * I Can See My House From Here: said by Archie when the Highborn first arrive on the moon.
 * I Love the Smell of X In The Morning: Monty the Dragon likes the smell of dragon fire in the morning.
 * An Ice Person: Enzo, a mage whose full name is Vincenzo Barbagelata, has two spells are "Chill Out" and "Freeze". Barbagelata also translates as "Frozen Beard."
 * Incredibly Lame Pun:
 * One that the characters find lame is "You mess with the bull, you get the horns", when said by a Minotaur.
 * Cabus isn't very appreciative of the wolf jokes that the Highborn make about him.
 * Monty the dragon and the Minotaur have a brief exchange of insults/puns in the last mission of the second chapter until Floyd makes them stop.
 * Just Friends: In the first chapter, Cabus claims the he and Lola are this.
 * Kill It With Ice: Enzo's "Freeze" spell has a chance of freezing the enemy solid. One of the Monolith spells is "Ice Storm", which summons ice shards to rain down from the sky onto the opponent.
 * Knight in Shining Armor/The Paladin: Archie. Though he admits in the end of chapter 3 that he'd rather be happy than right
 * Lampshade Hanging: Everywhere.
 * Leaning On the Fourth Wall:

"Enzo: Wait... did he say eggs? Isn't he a boy dragon? Never mind. It's best not to ask too many questions."
 * Lethal Chef: Foglio.
 * Mage Tower: You can capture towers to be able to control the Wizard living in it.
 * There is also a tower where the Wizard's Council meets. They're rather afraid to come out because of the dragon trying to eat them, so Enzo has to go up to the tower himself to talk to them. He grumbles about having to do it a second time in the second chapter.
 * Mighty Glacier: War Machines. Great offense, great defense (except against magic)...and the slowest movement rate among all the units. Floyd even complains about this in chapter 3.
 * Mind Control: Floyd's map ability allows him to take control of any non-hero non-mechanical unit.
 * Mister Seahorse: Lampshaded.

"That was MINT condition and still in the original box! I mean, Fro-Inter-what? Never heard of it. And I certainly don't have this warranty card thing... and the original store receipt."
 * New Rules As the Plot Demands: In the second chapter,, after somehow using a Flyer as a vehicle, claims that when you're on the Decay side, you can break the rules whenever you want as a plot device.
 * No Campaign for The Wicked: Averted in Chapter 3, in which you play as the Arch-Lich. Literally, since he's running an election campaign.
 * No Fourth Wall: First, the tutorial. Justified, as they need to teach you how to play. While the first chapter simply leans on the wall, and the second one breaks it on a regular basis, and by the third chapter there is no fourth wall. They're fully aware they're in a game and even mention Jet Set Games once.
 * "No. Just... No" Reaction: When a wizard suggests that Jessica the Gorgon might be pregnant, Trillian's reaction is "No! Don't you even suggest THAT!"
 * Noodle Incident: Apparently the Arch-Lich going bad was caused by "the tragic events surrounding his brother Melvin and those penguins".
 * Nonstandard Game Over: Normally the game ends when a Hero unit dies. In the Portal-themed mission, if you kill the technician imp, he will scold you and remind you that you have a Mind Control spell. You then lose the mission and have to restart.
 * Oedipus Complex: Archie
 * One-Liner, Name. One-Liner.: Trillian tells Foglio "Walk away, four eyes. Walk away very quickly or I will stab you."
 * One of Us: The game's Creative Director is a Troper.
 * Overly Long Gag: The encyclopedia entry about sorceresses, which is by far the longest entry in the game, and which is nothing but a long Shout-Out to Gilmore Girls and has nothing to actually do with Sorceresses. While the fraternities of Wizards and Mages are both dominated by men, the sorcery community has just female members. The reason for this is because Lorelai started dating Rory's English teacher Max. Then Rory kissed Dean but didn't tell Lorelai, who went on a double date with Sookie which made Luke jealous. Rory got into a fight with Dean and kissed Tristan. Rachel yelled at Luke for being in love with Lorelai who decided not to marry Max. Lorelai got jealous of Luke flirting with Ava, even though he really didn't. Dean found out about Rory kissing Tristan who got shipped off to military school. Rory's Dad, Christopher, showed up and told Lorelai that he was dating Sherry. Luke's nephew, Jess, started hitting on Rory, but then crashed her car, so Luke sent him back to his mother. Christopher broke up with Sherry and got together with Lorelai, but then found out that Sherry was pregnant so he went back to her. Jess came back and Rory kissed him at Sookie's wedding and Lorelai had a dream she was married to Luke. Jess sharted dating Shane, but then Dean had enough and broke up with Rory because she was obviously into Jess, who then broke up with Sherry, so he could be with Rory. Lorelai went on a coffee tasting date with alex who took her fishing. Luke asked out Taylor's lawyer, Nicole. Dean got engaged to Lindsay and Jess left town. Luke went on a cruise with Nicole, where they got married, but were already filing for divorce when they returned. Dean married Lindsay. Luke and Nicole decided to postpone the divorce and to try dating again. Jason, aka "Digger" pestered Lorelai to go out with him. Jess came back for his mother's wedding, asked Rory to go away with him, but she turned him down. Luke FINALLY kissed Lorlelai. Rory got together with Dean and put the final nail in his marriage, which upset Lorelai (and a lot of fans). Lorelai learned that Sherry ran off to Paris and left Christopher with the baby. Emily didn't approve of Luke and told Christopher to make his move. Dean leaves Rory and she gets together with Logan. Christopher and Luke had a fight over Lorelai and things got difficult between them but eventually Lorelai proposed to Luke. Jess comes back to talk to Rory and fights with Logan. Luke finds out he has a 12-year-old daughter and postpones the wedding. Logan broke up with Rory but then realized his mistake and tries to get her back and tells her he loves her and they move in together. Jess tries again to get Rory back but to no avail. Logan's father makes him move to London. Lorelai gives Luke an ultimatum about the wedding and after a big fight she winds up with Christopher. The next day Luke tries to apologize and says they should run off to get married, but then Lorelai tells him she spent the night with Christopher, and he leaves. Lorelai and Christopher start dating while Rory is making the best of her long distance relationship with Logan. Lorelai and Christopher got married in Paris but it eventually falls apart. Logan proposes to Rory but she turns him down and Lorelai got back with Luke. So that is why all the Mages and Wizards are men and all the women magic-users are now called Sorceresses.
 * Punch Clock Villain: The Minotaur, who just wants to support his wife and kids. It's just his bad luck that he is always pitted against the player character.
 * Redemption Demotion: Lampshaded and inverted when Cabus joins Floyd in chapter 3. Cabus tells Floyd that he can only summon one wolf instead of four since he's playable. Inverted since Floyd is a Villain Protagonist.
 * Series Continuity Error: We learn the Minotaur's full name in chapter 2 - Fenton Harcourt Minotaur. His chapter 3 journal entry calls him Bill.
 * Shout-Out: So many they got their own page.
 * Squishy Wizard: The Mad Wizards, who can be taken out by the smallest physical assault. The encyclopedia entry mentions that decades of being cooped up in a tower studying magical lore 24-7 leaves little time for exercise and proper nutrition.
 * Summon Magic: Cabus the werewolf gains the ability to summon Dire Wolves in Chapter 3.
 * Suspiciously Specific Denial:
 * The dragon in chapter 1 claims "I won't be hiding in this forest over here or anything."
 * The Wraith Lord in chapter 2:

"Archie: Go ahead and touch... err, I mean SELECT me..."
 * Take That:
 * The heroes are horrified that Cabus has retooled the smithies to produce Twilight figurines.
 * Foozle's encyclopedia entry claims that if you don't know who Yoko Ono is, you're probably better off.
 * That Came Out Wrong: From the tutorial:


 * Those Magnificent Flying Machines: The appropriately-named Flyers.
 * Totally Radical: Enzo tends to use slang like "pwned" on occasion.
 * Tuckerization: The Worgons are named after the developers' kids, and the owner's dog Hershey.
 * Useless Useful Spell: Mocked in the final mission of chapter 2. When the destruction of the first Moon Crystal destroys the nearby Monolith, Archie says it's a good thing it was just "Enfeeble" (spell that reduces an enemy's physical attack).
 * Video Game Cruelty Potential: Chapter 3 gives you the spell "Sacrifice," which lets you sacrifice the life of a non-hero, friendly unit to heal your other units. The Arch-Lich has the "Mind-Control" spell that switches an enemy unit into a friendly one. You can then send brainwashed enemies into suicide attacks or pick the brainwashed enemy as your healing Sacrifice.
 * Warmup Boss: The Minotaur. He even claims that he shouldn't show up in the later levels because he's just an early-level boss and easily defeated.
 * We Cannot Go On Without You: If any one of the Heroes is defeated, you lose the mission.
 * Whole-Plot Reference: In Chapter 3, one mission is a parody of Portal, complete with Siege Towers as Sentry stand-ins and an AI named MadOS that looks almost exactly like GLaDOS. Chapter 3 itself has ongoing references to, oddly, Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign. It's even titled "The Audacity!"
 * A Worldwide Punomenon
 * You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry: Said word for word by the Minotaur once.