Toss the Turtle

Toss The Turtle is an online game that is almost Exactly What It Says on the Tin. You shoot a turtle out of a cannon and pepper him with bullets in the hope of getting major distance. Along the way, you can grab cash for upgrades at the shop and ammo for the gun to continue shooting the poor turtle.

Also, the land is littered with spikes, goombas, bombs, gangster hounds, angry suns, flame dudes, small and big birds, bananas, cars, UFOs, chainsaw-wielding maniacs, and angry ground creatures. That pretty much makes it a Weird and Hilarious American Thing.

You can find it on Newgrounds here. The artist, Gonzo, has also gone on to create art for another game, Goin' Up.


 * Amusing Injuries
 * A Worldwide Punomenon - "Get shot up" says the achievement for landing in the gunfire of a ganster dog and being propelled upward.
 * Bloody Hilarious
 * Catch Phrase: SHORYUKEN!
 * Collision Damage
 * Cosmetic Award: Several. Some of them, however, actually increase your effectiveness in torturing the turtle.
 * Depth Deception: You can collide with the sun without even leaving the atmosphere.
 * Deus Ex Nukina: You can buy several nukes to bolster your speed and height.
 * Everything's Better with Spinning
 * Expy - That Squirtle, I mean, turtle sure looks familiar.
 * Also the Diglett angry ground creature.
 * Funny Animal: The gangster hounds.
 * The Goomba
 * Infinity Plus One Items: The Newgrounds Tank and the Golden Gun. With both of these weapons, you can easily breach the 100-mile mark.
 * Just One More Level: There's an achievement for that.
 * Three of them!
 * Lethal Joke Weapon: That banana gives you the biggest boost out of anything you could possibly hit.
 * Made of Iron: It doesn't matter how much abuse the turtle goes through, he just sits up and breaths a sigh of relief when he comes to a stop. And even if you hit the spikes, he's still up and about, none the worse for wear.
 * More Dakka: You buy increasingly more powerful tanks and guns over the course of the game.
 * Refuge in Audacity
 * Shoryuken: The banana performs this maneuver if you so much as touch him.
 * Shout-Out: Several, to Super Mario Bros.., Street Fighter and perhaps Newgrounds' own revered characters.
 * And the bonus modifier for somehow not hitting any objects is "Boring Life".
 * In some stages there are the remains of Metal Gear Solid's cyborg ninja on the ground.
 * The title image, with the turtle on a cliff looking at a distant city, is reminiscent of Ninja Gaiden.
 * And the title theme is taken directly from Contra.
 * One of the enemies is a Goomba wearing a top hat and monocle. Stomping only one of these gets you the bonus modifier "Weegee".
 * Spikes of Doom: This particular variety stops you instantly, unless you have a chest bomb on.
 * Standard FPS Guns: With a slingshot as your starter weapon.
 * Turtle Power
 * Video Game Caring Potential-You can guide the turtle to a safe landing and end his suffering...
 * Video Game Cruelty Potential-...After launching the poor shmuck out of a cannon and shooting at him.
 * Weird and Hilarious American Thing