Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking/Anime and Manga

"Ken: In a World filled with pollution, economic instability, and war THAT NEVER LISTENS TO ME!"
 * In Ah! My Goddess, after an evil Urd's deadly giant wolf grazes a US nuclear submarine, the problems are the following: "Flooding in aft torpedo room!... Starboard rim tanks damaged!... Missile hatches jammed!... Captain's coffee mug cracked!"
 * Belldandy gets her license suspended and shortly thereafter tampered with, making her a demon. She is told that evil actions will cause her powers to work properly, so she literally does jaywalking as an evil action.
 * In Dead Leaves, Pandy and Retro are sent to the DL prison facility on the moon for "...Trespassing, theft, violence, assault, illegal possession of firearms, and a really crappy attitude."
 * During one episode of the English-dub version of Dragon Ball Z the villain Frieza comments "There are three things I refuse to tolerate: cowardice, bad haircuts, and military insurrection, and it is unfortunate that our friend Vegeta possesses all three of these."
 * In Claymore, hulking, nigh-invincible brute Duph threatens to "strip you naked, tear your arms and legs off, rip out your guts, and make fun of you."
 * Note that most of persons he threatens are perfectly capable of enduring the first three.
 * Inverted in Samurai Champloo; as the trio ponders why someone would've sent an assassin after them, Mugen muses, "Let's see...we dined and dashed, snuck through a checkpoint...and oh yeah, we killed people!"
 * Parallel Trouble Adventure Dual provides a notable example. Ken combines it with his stereotypical Mad Scientist rant:

"Tenma: My tea leaves foretold success! My horoscope said I was lucky in love! I found a four-leaf clover! I tripped and fell down the stairs!
 * In the first episode of School Rumble, Tenma is confident that she'll be placed in the same class as her high-school crush, Oji Karasuma, owing it to her awesome luck:

Yakumo: (puzzled) What was that last one?"

"* two kicks to the chest and one to the throat* "That was for those three!"
 * When describing Mokona's abilities in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle everyone is thrilled that he can bring them to other worlds, act as a Universal Translator and (most amazingly) swallow an entire apple. Well done, Mokona, well done.
 * In Yu Yu Hakusho, Urameshi pulls this as he demolishes the, giving out reasons for each blow:

"And this... is for !" * jaw-distorting right cross*

"While I'm at it, this is for !" * similar left cross*

"And this... is for me!" The English dub changed it to "And the last one's for me... just for pissing me off!" * double uppercut launching into the stands*"

"(DUN!) Dissection! (DUN!) Experimentation! (DUN!) Unforseen accidents!"
 * In Keroro Gunsou, Keroro is initially discouraged from going out in public by fear of being dissected, experimented upon, or run over by Natsumi on her bicycle.

"Sekiguchi: He sells credit card details on the black market! He extorts protection money from businesses! He stomps on people! Plus, he talks like a woman!"
 * Episode 27 has Keroro reminiscing on all the things he's learned from his father about being a sergeant: "What it means to live as a sergeant... a sergeant's pride... a sergeant's know-how... a sergeant's fashion sense... a sergeant's secret to dieting success... a sergeant's military discount... a sergeant's fortune telling technique... a sergeant's special dance moves..."
 * The dub version is slightly different but similar in spirit. "He taught me how to be a boy. And then he taught me how to be a man! And why being a girl would totally suck. He taught me how to join the army - or, more accurately, how to be forced into joining. How to use lists to make yourself sound smarter. How to lie on your father's war record..."
 * In the dub of episode 7, Giroro berates Keroro with "You are pathetic, and a failure, and green!"
 * The title character in Miyazaki's Porco Rosso is wanted by the Italian government for treason, illegal entry, decadence, pornography... and for being a lazy pig.
 * In Dragon Half, features a chest-mounted laser cannon, wrist-mounted machine guns, super alloy kicking boots, and a finger-mounted squirt gun.
 * Don't forget the strategically-placed rocket launcher.
 * In Demon City Shinjuku, the protagonist, Kyoya, is interrogating an old woman who had just tried to scam him and his friend out of some money. When questioned about who is behind the terrible things happening in Shinjuku, the old woman begins recounting the awful things that happened when the demons took the city over. The list includes things like men being murdered, women being raped, children disappearing, and concludes with the loss of her electronics business.
 * In the Boys Love manga Shibuya de Aimasu, Sekiguchi has this complaint to make about Yakuza Aguri:

"Inspector: So you won't confess your crimes of murder, smuggling, drug-dealing, gambling fraud, forgery, battery, bribery, human trafficking, pimping, and public urination?
 * In the Doma arc of Yu-Gi-Oh!, when Yugi, Kaiba and Joey each summon monsters to fight Dartz, Yugi summons Dark Magician, Summoned Skull and Kuriboh. Just to clarify, Kuriboh is a tiny fur ball with 300 attack points, while the other two have 2500 attack points.
 * In Episode 80 of Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, Jeager steals the main character's engine program, and helps himself to one of Jack's cup ramen (something which Jack is quite cross about).
 * In Bleach, Keigo Asano describes the rumours about Chad and Ichigo "hanging out with the yakuza, smuggling drugs, and reading porn magazines in a bookstore for five hours.
 * In the second Urusei Yatsura movie, Sakura lists the symptoms Onsen Mark is suffering from before sending him home; "Overworked, lack of sleep, malnutrition, nervous system imbalance, and your face is ugly!
 * In one Black Jack story, Black Jack's school friend, Makube, is a criminal. He gets detained by the ICPO.

Makube: I'll cop to public urination."

"""He has also blown up two aircrafts, assassinated ten important people from various countries, and stolen three bicycles""
 * In one of the Full Metal Panic short stories, Sousuke, in an attempt to dissuade someone from dating Issei Tsubaki tells an incredible tall tale that includes the line (NOTE: Fantranslated):

"Rahzel: "You tried to use me, a total stranger, and on top of that, you lost your temper and cursed me, and complained about your hair and how the cocoa was too sweet!"
 * In Hatenkou Yuugi, just before she makes friends with him, Rahzel lists all the things Rayborn did to make her angry.

Rayborn: "Well, come on, that wasn't so bad...""

"Natsuki: "I ate this poached egg that my friend Sakura left out on the counter. When she found out, she was mad, so I totally lied...and told her it was Bob. Um, and I got drunk one night and danced around using Raijin and Fujin as pasties! I peeked at Batanen's butt when he got out of the shower! And I poked a badger with a spoon! I'm sorry! Waaah!"
 * Hyper Police shows an example as Natsuki the bounty hunter has infiltrated a gang of thieves, which doesn't seem to be as bad as she initially thought. Unwilling to rat them out, she confesses to the gang's "father", but covers up what she really wants to say with less important banter.

Father: "The Lord forgives you, Natsuki. Except for the badger thing. I'm not sure that's even a sin...""


 * The One Piece English dub has the filler marine inspector Major Shepherd, who has "dealt with humiliation, incarceration, and being called 'Condoriano!'"
 * USOPP HAMMER! USOPP HAMMER! USOPP HAMMER! USOPP HAMMER!' Rubber Band of Doom!
 * In Code Geass: Tales of an Alternate Shogunate, after Perry takes over, "the Japanese people lost their land... their pride... and even their topknots."
 * During the Kyoto trip in Mahou Sensei Negima, Negi warns the students not to be reckless, as they don't want any injuries, lost students, or complaints from the locals.
 * In Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan, when Sakura is asked what Dokuro has done for his life, he spends more time on a tangent about her stealing his ice cream than he does about how she has killed him countless times and is more or less responsible for his shitty life.