Haroohee/Funny

Episode 1
"Kyon: (narrating) What I knew was for some odd reason, I felt almost compelled to talk to her. I had no idea what I was gonna say- I was, I was- I was feeling pretty nervous, you know?! Kyon: (to Haruhi) So do you watch anime? Haruhi: I hate anime. ''(Kyon laughs nervously) Haruhi: I'm not joking. Kyon: ...What the fuck?!"
 * When Kyon prepares himself to talk to Haruhi (the new girl in class):

"Kunikida: This rice tastes like shit! (to Tanighchi) Hey, didn't you date Haruhi before? Taniguchi: LOVE IS JUST A LIE!"
 * At the cafeteria:

"Kyon: (narrating) Straight-A student, she's in every school club available and, ahem, every now and then, you know, she, uh... (shot of Haruhi removing her shirt) Background voice: No, she doen not, you liar! (shot of the boys being kicked out of the class) Kyon: Okay, so maybe not that last past. (Ryoka closes the sliding door.) Ryoka: Ow, my fucking TOE!"
 * When Kyon describes Haruhi:

"Kyon: So, do you change your hair daily because you're insecure about the way your forehead looks? Haruhi: Yeah, I do. How'd you know? Kyon: I too have an insecure forehead. (shot of his forehead) Hnn!"
 * Kyon talks to Haruhi:

"Kunikida: Hey! What' up guys? What's up, guys? Kyon: Why'd you ask twice? Ryoko: Hey, Kyon! Kyon: Motherfuck! I'm getting real tired of you guys sneaking up on me like that, okay?! (Kyon's mouthflaps keep moving) BG Voice 1: What's he doing? BG Voice 2: ''Is his mouth stuck again?! BG Voice 1: Yeah! BG Voice 2: Oh God damnit! Just give him a few seconds. Kyon: You bitch! BG Voice 2: Ah! BG Voice 1: There we go!"
 * Taniguchi and Ryoko scare Kyon:

"Haruhi: It's so boring around here, you know? I'm tempted to jump out a window. Kyon: (thinking) Oblige me, O mighty temptress. Kyon: (speaking) Interesting, huh. Like what? Haruhi: Well, like something cool. Kyon: Why don't you stick your HEAD in a freezer?! Haruhi: ''All the clubs here suck! And all the people suck just as hard. Aggression! (slams her desk with her fists) Kyon: Why don't you do something about it, then? Haruhi: (lifting her head up) I. Don't. Know. What! Kyon: (unedited dialogue) Listen, you can't help it if there aren't any. Besides, as normal human types, we gotta be happy with what we're given, you know what I'm saying? You can look at it this way: the people who don't like what they've given ofte- Haruhi: (falsetto voice) Will you hurry it up already?!! Kyon: (whispering) You should make your own club."
 * "This fucking board eraser is consuming my whole life!"
 * Haruhi doesn't like clubs:

""So now I'm stuck helping Haruhi with this club of hers. I'd say no, but quite frankly, she scares the crap outta me! And she's gonna do bad things to me, man! Bad things!''""
 * Kyon gets paranoid outside: