A Certain Magical Index/Funny

"Touma: Stick out your tongue.
 * When Index's clothes explode due to Touma's hand. Made especially funny due to her very smug expression. Well, until she realizes what just happened.
 * Episode 8. This scene is paraphrased.

Stiyl: Um, OK. (does it)

Touma: This is for using me as bait and then leaving me to die, you son of a bitch! (uppercuts him)"

"Misaka Imouto: A cat named "Dog". Heh heh heh."
 * When they are thinking of names for Misaka Imouto's cat.

"Touma: I can't feel anything because of the anesthetic. Such Misfortune!"
 * Misaka Imouto muttering about Touma, "What kind of guy throws a cat at someone?"
 * The end of episode 14. Touma wakes up in the hospital and Misaka Imouto has put his hand on her breasts.

"Index: Touma... you strangled me...
 * Episode 15. Touma's step sister became the Shock and Awe girl, his mom became Index, the female inn manager became one of the many Misaka clones, the male inn manager became the Playing with Fire guy. Hilarity Ensues.
 * Don't forget the U.S. president becomes Kuroko. YES WE CAN!
 * And Index becomes one of Touma's male schoolmates...who eventually ends up wearing Index's one-piece swimsuit.
 * Touma freaking out over this eventually leads to him being bound in a straight jacket and wearing a Hannibal Lector mask.
 * Not to mention before that Index and Touma accidentally watch a porno. You only see their reactions and the tail-end of the show, but its hilarious nonetheless.
 * Index claims she found a really cute hat on the beach, right before plopping a jellyfish onto Touma's face.
 * Touma runs into a girl in a bizarre outfit,
 * This Murder Arson and Jaywalking scene after everyone gets their own "identities" back from the Freaky Friday incident from Episode 15 to 17:

Touma: I got a perfectly good explanation for that...

Index: You slammed a door into me!!

Touma: Hey, that wasn't me!!

Index: And then you BURIED me!!

Touma: Well, that was me...

Index: GGGGRRRRR (CHOMPS Touma)

Touma: Arrgh!! Such Misfortune!!"

"Touma's mom: Touya-san, you're doing it again!"
 * Ouma Yamisaka makes a dramatic entrance, trashing the restaurant Touma and Index were eating at. Touma angrily rants at Ouma for shredding his homework with his attack.
 * Touma's dad flirting with Oriana Thompson and Mikoto's mom. Followed by Touma's mom scaring the crap out of him with her jealousy.

"Touma: "THE RIGHT SIDE IS THE BATHROOM, THE LEFT SIDE IS ALSO ANOTHER BATHROOOOOOM!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! THIS IS JUST HELL WAITING FOR ME ON BOTH SIDES!!!! ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!!! WHY ARE THERE TWO BATHROOMS IN THIS HOUSE!?!?!?""
 * Episode 14 of Season II: When Touma was helping Orsola move by looking for newspapers, he finds two doors. He knows that there is a bathroom behind one of them. Straining his hearing, he identifies the shower as the one on the left, so he opens the right door. To find a naked Orsola. While decrying his fate, a nude Index appears from the left door. Both doors were bathrooms.

"Amata Kihara: That Aleister is out of this world. You claim to be a scientist, yet you reject science? What kind of scientist is that? (to his mooks) Did you guys notice the Bible has become a pop-up book? (Beat) What are you guys staring at? (turns around, sees Accelerator diving at the window) Oh Crap!"
 * Not to mention his reaction when he first opens the door. "Why didn't I just knock?"
 * Touma explaining how he got to dance with Mikoto... until Kuroko dropkicked him in the back of the head.
 * Episode 15 of Season II: Touma's Imagine Breaker destroying the clothes of Agnese, Lucia, and Angeline. Angeline flipping Lucia's skirt. Touma falling on Itsuwa, with her friends yelling, "Now's your chance! Go for it!"
 * Episode 17 of Season 2, three of the Misaka Sisters realize that a fourth is not so identical upon learning she's taken up reading diet magazines and has lost weight.
 * The washing machine scene from Episode 18 of Index II. Never has failing to work a washing machine looked so Moe.
 * Episode 21 of Season 2, this scene:

"[Tsuchimikado is telling Touma that this isn't his fault, that the scale of war will be different from everything else they've faced before, etc.]
 * Episode 23 of Season 2, Tsuchimikado and Touma are discussing the impending war in Academy City, and then comes one of the funniest Mood Whiplashes ever.

Touma: "Tsuchimikado, I've made up my mind."

Tsuchimikado: "Kami-yan..."

Touma: "Yes, I'm... I'm going to start studying English!""

"Misaka: "What the hell were you doing with my mother while she was druuuuuuuunk?!""
 * Episode 24 of Season 2, the drunk Mikoto's mom flirting with Touma and Accelerator.
 * In Volume 14, Misaka's pissed that Touma's cell phone treated an e-mail she sent it as spam. While looking through Touma's "Recieved Mail" folder to confirm that Touma isn't lying, she learns something else: Touma has her mother's phone number! When Mikoto calls her mother (using Touma's phone!), her mother tells her that she must have been drunk that night and doesn't remember the details. Mikoto calmly hangs up, returns Touma's phone, and asks Touma the following:

"Because of Touma, the class was about to miss lunch. The Delta Trio and Fukiyose had to run out of school to buy lunch, but it was illegal for them to do so. Being chased by a teacher, Tsuchimikado then offered Aogami Pierce as a sacrifice by using him as a step to get over the school fence!
 * Also in Volume 14, Touma is taken by Tsuchimikado to France in order to deal with the C-Document affair. How do they get there? By taking a supersonic plane. Unfortunately in order to avoid giving away their intentions, Tsuchimikado opens the plane's luggage hatch and boots Touma out with a parachute before jumping out himself. The illustration for the scene is absolutely priceless.
 * In Volume 16, right before all the action that happened, we had a series of hilarious things going on. Ready? Here's the list.

Then Itsuwa, who was acting as Touma's bodyguard, found that he was chased by the same teacher, and immediately went to fight said teacher with her spear.

Then after that, Itsuwa and Touma were walking together after school, getting all flustered. The Amakusa were stalking them, and to add some spice to their relationship,

Then Itsuwa wins Index over with her cooking, and Maika was so amazed by her cooking that she THREW the dinner she cooked for Tsuchimikado in angst.

Then Itsuwa, Index and Mikoto met each other in the hot springs. Mikoto was thinking about Touma until she fainted from heatstroke."

"Queen Elizard: "What do you think you're doing?"
 * At the end of volume 16,
 * In Volume 17, Index is amazed at how warm the and comfy the kotatsu is and sticks her head under for a peek. Just as she does this Touma farts inside of it. Needless to say Index was not amused.
 * In Volume 17, Tatemiya plays a prank on Itsuwa's crush on Touma, only to be rewarded with a tea table in the face.
 * In Volume 17, Touma pays a visit to England for a strategy meeting with the Queen of England. While being toured around the castle, the second princess, Carissa, notices that Touma is fooling around with his phone and asks for a photo. Soon, the two other princesses notice and try to join in, but are cut off by Queen Elizard:

(the Knight Leader and Kanzaki nod in agreement)

Queen Elizard: "This is England, the nation of the Queen! Why are you taking pictures leaving out the leading part?!"

Knight Leader: "Ah, you fool! Don't show off your unrestrained love of festivities in front of someone from another country!! This is a strategy meeting!!"

(the queen rushes over to Touma, but the Knight Leader tackles her.)

(Touma takes a picture with Carissa and her sisters, at their insistence)

Queen Elizard: (shocked) “Ah! You took it!! You really took it without me!! You can redo it! How about you take another one with me in it!?”"

"Worst: What’s the point of an original if she loses to the clone in so many ways?
 * In Volume 18, Agnese hits one of the knights with a Groin Attack.
 * What was even funnier was the dominatrix mode she went into on the knight after said attack. Heck, she even threatened that she would shove her staff up his ass, for crying out loud!
 * New Testament Volume 1:
 * New Testament Volume 2:
 * The entire volume is one long string of funny moments interspaced with exposition and the occasional serious note.
 * New Testament Vol 3 continues to incite laughter, Worst teasing Umidoru so much she breaks down and starts to cry.
 * Worst continues her trend of trolling everybody when she meets Misaka Mikoto, first attacking her for her borderline stalker tendancies (buying a couples pair ring when they aren't even going out) and then moving on to attack her true weakness.
 * New Testament Vol 3 continues to incite laughter, Worst teasing Umidoru so much she breaks down and starts to cry.
 * Worst continues her trend of trolling everybody when she meets Misaka Mikoto, first attacking her for her borderline stalker tendancies (buying a couples pair ring when they aren't even going out) and then moving on to attack her true weakness.

Mikoto: …Are you talking about breast size…?

Worst: Oh, Misaka never said that. Maybe she was talking about number of appearances.

Mikoto: Now you’ve said it!"


 * Misaka gets love advice from the president and a little girl (the 8 year old parroting something he'd told her before). The little girl tells her to take off her bra in front of Touma and embrace him before he has a chance to react, while the president tells her to embrace him while wearing a string bikini and then untie it to send the message across. Bonus points for doing it nearby a Love Hotel. Misaka's reaction is to threaten to smack Robert Katze.