Harry's New Home

Harry's New Home is a completed AU Harry Potter Fan Fiction written by kbinnz. Includes the oneshot prequel Harry's First Detention and the multichapter titular fic, found here.

The story details the events set into motion when one Severus Snape is given care of Harry Potter after the abusive and neglectful treatment by the Dursleys is uncovered. Hillarity Ensues, with many Crowning Moments of Heartwarming mixed in.

""Did I say you were forbidden to use magic to complete the task?""
 * Action Survivor: Harry is essentially this with Snape planning and executing most of the adventures.
 * Age-Appropriate Angst: Lampshaded by Hermione and Ron when Harry is moping about not spending time with Snape. To avoid embarrassing him, they say it's only because he's not used to Snape the way they are used to their parents.
 * Anti-Hero: Harry fears becoming this after he.
 * Apologizes a Lot: Harry at first much to Snape's annoyance.
 * Aw, Look -- They Really Do Love Each Other: The only one who seems oblivious to this is Snape. Everybody can see how much he cares for and protects Harry all the time.
 * Bad Boss: Snape shows signs of this in regards to  A simple assignment from the former?   Backfires when the latter tries to gain some recognition.
 * Battle Couple: Percy and Jones
 * Berserk Button: Blood Quills. This literally sent the entire faculty of Howgarts out for blood. Dumbledore nearly hunted down Dolores when he was informed of this.
 * Percy literally lost it when he learned one of the bullies nearly Crucio'ed Ron.
 * Insulting Harry, even from miles away, is a bad way to get on Dobby's bad side as shown in chapter 58 where he appeared out of nowhere to beat up Kreacher.
 * Big Brother Instinct: Percy did not like it when one of Harry's bullies almost Crucio'ed Ron.
 * Break the Haughty: Draco Malfoy. Dumbledore in a more benign soft kind of way, specially so during the Horcrux hunting (Advice: don't put the soul sucking ring on your finger)
 * Big Damn Heroes: When Harry was Ambushed by Ravenclaw students, he was rescued by Hermione (who breaks a student's ankle) Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, the Twins, Marcus Flint and Jones
 * An Epic one during the.
 * Big Damn Villains: As far Hogwarts is concerned, Slytherin. But say what you will about the house, when one of their "Firsties" was in trouble literally the entire House was moved to battle in seconds. As Harry's attackers learned the hard way.
 * The Chessmaster: Snape becomes this after rescuing Black from Azkaban. And become more and more deadly during the fic.
 * Cool and Unusual Punishment: McGonagall's more... atypical detentions.

"Albus: Oh, Severus? (pokes head around the corner) Did Minerva mention your appointment to the Inter-House Friendship and Holiday Decoration Committee?"
 * Cruel And Unusual Punishment: Again, McGonagall. She deliberately makes Blood Quills look mild. (See  for details.)
 * Dark Action Girl: Davidella Jones.
 * The Dreaded: Hermione becomes this after Harry's ambush. While breaking the wand of a fallen foe was considered "hardcore", her explanation of Muggle dentistry gave her the top spot for the "not mess with" list in the entire school.
 * Dumbledore became this for Harry for more than half of the fic.
 * Doorstopper: 64 chapters and over 333,000 thousand words.
 * Fearless Fool: Deconstructed with Harry who lacks a sense of self defense (and of self preservation) thanks to his upbringing, allowing him to put himself in danger without a thought, much to Snape's annoyance and horror.
 * Fix Fic: One of the best written in the entire Potter Fandom. It avoids Mary Sues, superpowered versions, wangst and bashing and is so cutesy and epic that it would give you both diabetes and testosterone poison just by reading it.
 * Happily Adopted: Harry
 * Hoist by His Own Petard: Thanks to Snape's past misdeeds, it allow Umbridge to act scott free against the students of Howgarts, especially against Harry. Needless to say, McGonagall was grimly amused by Snape's cries of unfairness and abuse.
 * Honorary Uncle: Ron and Percy called Snape "Uncle Sev", much to his mortification. And Harry calls McGonagall "Auntie Min" later on.
 * Hot Teacher: Snape, after his make-over.
 * Humiliation Conga: Fudge gets one of these, starting with his most trusted advisor unfurling a banner that reads, "FUDGE IS AN IDIOT."
 * Hypocritical Heartwarming: It doesn't matter what Snape may call Harry or how he acts with him, if you dare to insult, abuse or bully him in any way he will rip out your own intestine and beat you with them.
 * Insane Troll Logic: Snape can literally count how far the IQ of his fellow teachers drops any time somebody says "Quidditch".
 * As far Snape is concerned, this is how that brat's mind works all the time.
 * Imagine Spot: When things get too absurd, Snape mentally pens, "Dear (magazine's advice column/Voldemort), I am currently (dealing with playing daddy to the Boy Who Lived). Would (snarky/overkill reaction) be within the norm? Is it considered poor form to cut my own throat rather than suffer through such an excruciating evening?"
 * I'm a Humanitarian: . If you use a Blood Quill on her students, anyway.
 * Intergenerational Friendship: Between Harry, Sirius and Remus.
 * It Got Worse: He had to ask.


 * I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Upon seeing how happy Harry is with Snape, Sirius chooses not to fight for custody.
 * Kick the Son of a Bitch: What both Snape and McGonagall do to Dolores and Fudge after they try to attack Harry. While Snape managed to personally destroy Fudge's career, McGonagall takes the cake by.
 * Magnificent Bastard: Snape is Head of Slytherin, after all.
 * Mama Bear: At difference to her canon counterpart, McGonagall is extremely protective of her lions and she will.
 * My Name Is Not Durwood: Voldemort Vol-au-Vent Voldesnort. Snape decides to stop trying to correct Harry after a while.
 * My Greatest Failure: It nearly broke Dumbledore when he realized Harry was afraid of him.
 * Muggles Do It Hardcore: After Hermione's explanation, nobody ever doubted that Muggles are A)Psychopaths 2) Unyielding 3) More Metal than the blackest black, times INFINITY.
 * Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: As much as  counts as a hero, anyway.
 * Papa Wolf: No matter how much Snape denies it, he would go to any length, break any rule, face the Dark Lord and Dumbledore himself without hesitation if it mean Harry's protection. Soon enough most of the Wizarding World learned not to mess with Harry.
 * Lucius Malfoy is a more chilly, stern type.
 * Likewise with Dumbledore. He nearly hunted down Umbridge when he found out she used a Blood Quill on Harry. Also in the prequel, his casual warning to Snape if he should ever harm a student again.
 * Parental Substitute: Snape to Harry, as well as Molly and Arthur Weasley.
 * Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Flitwick is considered the best duelist of the entire faculty.
 * Refuge in Audacity: Death Eater Black  Really, Snape?
 * Sadist Teacher: Snape tries to be this. See Stern Teacher below.
 * Serious Business: Quidditch, to Snape's detriment. From forgetting that a student nearly killed himself in a broom to nearly starting a brawl in the great hall by the teachers, Quidditch certainly bring the best and the worst of wizards.
 * Servile Snarker: Snape is this to Dumbledore.
 * Shout-Out: One of the books Harry picks out is titled "There and Back Again".
 * Small Name, Big Ego: Lucius Malfoy.
 * Snark Knight: Snape.
 * Spit Take: Snape, of all people, in response to McGonagall's "Something I ate."
 * Stern Teacher: Snape ends up being this, while trying to be a Sadist Teacher. Most of his punishments are actually helpful, as Harry frequently points out. Snape constantly blames Harry and his friends for ruining his reputation.
 * Surrounded by Idiots: When you get to know the point of view of Snape for all the decisions around Hogwarts, especially Potter, you can't not only sympathize but wonder how Snape hasn't just snapped already.
 * Tall, Dark and Snarky: Snape again.
 * Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: While Percy is not ugly, he is defined as plain while Jones is often described as very beautiful, willowy... and absolutely scary witch. Like a "saner, controlled version of Beatrix Lestrange".
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: Ron and Draco enjoy arguing.
 * What an Idiot!:, why would you believe Bella right after  ?! Of course, this is soon after...
 * What Could Possibly Go Wrong?: with knocking off a few Death Eater ? What indeed.