Dreadful Musician/Quotes

"Oh, I write love songs for my favorite girl And sing them soft and low But before I get to finish She says she has to go She's nice and says, "Excuse me, I've got to find a bar I think I need refreshment 'Fore I hear you play guitar.""

- Harry Chapin, "Six-String Orchestra"

"Get off that piano. You're hurting its feelings!"

- "Jelly Roll" Morton (legendary jazz musician)

"Klink: Col. Hogan, I have decided not to play in your prisoners' orchestra. I may, however, do a solo over the loudspeaker system. Hogan: Well, if I were you, I'd wait until the general leaves, sir. Klink: Why? Hogan: I mean, how would it look, a mass escape while he's here?"

- Hogan's Heroes, Movies Are Your Best Escape

"Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin."

- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"The captain watched, intrigued, as Liriel set the enspelled statue on the bed and triggered its song. His face lit up with pride as his own song poured forth from the little figure. "That'll keep 'em away for a bit," he observed with a touch of wry humor. Obviously, Liriel concluded, the man held a realistic view of his musical talents."

- Tangled Webs by Elaine Cunningham.

"She was a beefy young woman and, whatever piece of music she was playing, it was definitely losing."

- Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures


 * Back to