The Big Bang Theory/Quotes

In Show Quotes
"The whole universe was in a hot, dense state - then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... wait! The Earth began to cool - the autotrophs began to drool - neanderthals developed tools, we built the wall We built the Pyramids! Math, science history - unraveling the mystery It all started with a Big ... Bang!"

- Barenaked Ladies, "The History of Everything", the show's opening theme

"Wil Wheaton: Did [Sheldon] just say "Revenge is a dish best served cold" in Klingon? Stuart: I believe so. Wil Wheaton: What is wrong with him? Stuart: Everyone has a different theory."

"Sheldon: I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains. Penny: Who's Radiohead? Sheldon: (after several seconds of twitching) I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe."

"Sheldon: Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy. Penny: Your archenemy? Sheldon: Yes. The Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic. The Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man. The Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel...

Penny: Okay I get it, I get it...

Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out."

""I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole but when it comes to the population of this car you are a veritable 'Mackdaddy.'""

- Sheldon: Pilot (To Leonard regarding his chances with Penny while she, Raj and Howard are in the car)

""Nerds.""

- Steve Wozniak

"Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis? Sheldon: (Beat) ...screwed!"

"Sheldon: It's your turn. Raj: Ah, I'm not interested in playing anymore. Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend!? Good Lord! If that's a reason to not play Dungeons And Dragons then this game is in serious trouble!"

"(during a paintball game against the geology department) Sheldon: (stands at the top of the hill and shouts to his opponents) GEOLOGY ISN'T A REAL SCIENCE! (he is promptly slaughtered by paintballs) Howard: Damn them those SONS OF BITCHES!!(he, Raj, and Leonard run down the hill to attack) Sheldon: (watches happily) If there's ever a Church of Sheldon, this will be when it started."

"Raj: Come on Sheldon, it's Star Wars. Howard: I'm going to press play, I mean it! Come on, we gotta hurry up and watch it before George Lucas changes it again."

"Penny: Okay shh, Tyra Banks is about to kick somebody off America's Next Top Model. Sheldon: Excuse me Penny, but we're- Leonard: No, don't tell her... Sheldon: ...playing Klingon Boggle. Leonard: Aaaw... Howard: What do you mean "aaaw", like she didn't know we were nerds?"

Out-Of-Show Quotes
""This plotline gets extra props for featuring an extended riff on the novel Flatland, which makes this probably the only show I cover that could even possibly have an extended riff on the novel Flatland.""

- from The Onion AVClub's review of episode 3x12, "The Psychic Vortex"