Considering this is a Comedy Duo, this page needs some Wiki Magic.
- "Did you ever go to school, stupid?"
- "Yessir, and I come out the same way."
- The Lemon Bit. Probably the funniest con ever.
- From Abbott and Costello meet the Killer, Boris Karloff, asked of a hypnotized Bud by Boris: "How would you like to die?" "Old age."
- From the same flick, after Lou has become convinced (incorrectly) that Bud has been trying to murder him all through the movie, and demands that a cop arrest him: "Lou, now don't do this! Remember, we're family. We have the same blood in our veins." "Yeah, and I wanna keep mine!"
- Back to Abbott and Costello