"The Reason You Suck" Speech/Recorded and Stand Up Comedy

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Examples of "The Reason You Suck" Speeches in Recorded and Stand Up Comedy include:

  • According to Bill Bailey, membership renewal requests from the Automobile Association become this on the third letter:

Dear Mr Bailey; it appears you have not renewed your AA membership. Picture the scene: a lonely stretch of the B3174, a car that refuses to start. That car is yours. That terrified driver is YOU. Why would you leave the AA, one of the most glitteringly magnificent organisations the world has ever seen? And now, when you are at your most vulnerable: Your cholesterol levels are worryingly high; your friends talk about you behind your back, they pity you! Your arrogance has placed your family in mortal danger! You have stepped from the light into the abyss! Without us, you're nothing but a pitiful roadside MAGGOT, crawling along the edge of a straight razor! Crawling! Crawling! Crawling... Please let me know if you reconsider.

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