- 1 Heroes
- 2 Villains
- 3 Minor Characters
The protagonist and narrator of the book.
- Backstabbing the Alpha Bitch: She does this in Chapter 22.
- Cool Loser
- Fiery Redhead: Subverted in that Adele is pretty shy most of the time. Double subverted when she gets pissed off.
- Only Sane Man
- Picked Last: Mainly because she fails at "running, dancing, and basically anything involving throwing a ball".
- Plucky Girl
- Redheaded Hero
- Shrinking Violet: Sometimes.
- Wise Beyond Their Years
- The Woobie: At times.
Adele's snarky and lazy (but likable) best friend.
- Awesome McCoolname: She hates her name. We disagree.
- Black Sheep
- Brainy Brunette: When she feels like doing something.
- Brilliant but Lazy
- Character Development: More than anyone else.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Freudian Excuse: Being the Unfavorite may be why she's such a bitch sometimes.
- Gamer Chick
- Hazel Eyes
- Little Miss Snarker
- Precocious Crush: A rated G example, as Alec is only 2 years older.
- The Unfavorite: In her family, where she's constantly criticized. If that's not happening, she's ignored.
A cheerful, optimistic and compassionate animal rights activist.
- Blue Eyes
- The Ditz: In her more clueless moments.
- Ditzy Genius
- Dumb Blond: While she is by no means dumb, she is easily the most clueless main character.
- Granola Girl
- Hair of Gold
- The Heart
- Miss Imagination: In that she's a hopeless romantic, and even has Patrick and Adele's love story planned out.
- Shipper on Deck: She supports Patrick/Adele.
- Team Mom
Brooke's best friend.
- Alternate Character Interpretation: Having the hots for Brooke.
- Black Best Friend
- Heterosexual Life Partners: With Brooke.
- Les Yay: With Brooke.
- Sassy Black Preteen
- Token Minority
- The Girlie Girl To Delilah's Tomboy
Delilah's eighth-grader crush, a musician.
- Berserk Button: You don't want to mess with the people he cares about.
- Big Brother Mentor
- Fan-Preferred Couple: Him and Delilah.
- Genius Bruiser
- Official Couple: With Fala, for a little while.
- Reason Before Honor: He has no problem at all with hiring a few seniors to jump Sophia (who is a sixth grader) if she gives Adele too much trouble.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right: When he gets in trouble for fighting, chances are he was motivated by this.
The antagonist. A mean girl.
- Alpha Bitch
- Brainy Brunette: She's by no means stupid.
- Even Evil Has Standards: She wouldn't make fun of Patrick once she finds out his dad died.
- Foe Yay: With Adele
- Les Yay: With Lyn
- Love to Hate
- Manipulative Bitch
- Pet the Dog: When Patrick's dad dies, she's quick to offer help if he needs it.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful / Screw the Rules, I Have Money: Seems to be motivated by this.
- With Friends Like These...: She tends to push around and insult her "friends".
A love interest for Alec.
Adele's older brother
- Beta Couple: Compared to all the ship teases, crushes, and relationships of the other characters, he and Saffron have a much more stable relationship.
- Big Brother Mentor
- Ensemble Darkhorse: Readers absolutely love him.
- Official Couple: With Saffron.
- Perverse Sexual Lust: If you read the reviews, you'll see that one reviewer has this for him.
The third-oldest Horton daughter. One year Delilah's junior.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: In Delilah's eyes.
- Attention Whore: She's worse than Piper May.
- Breakout Character: First was offhandedly mentioned, then briefly introduced. She's now set up to be a major character.
- Spotlight-Stealing Squad: In-Universe - She gets all the attention once she comes to Phoenix.
The youngest Horton daughter.
- The Ditz: She spaces out a lot. Justified as she's only 6.