A Man Is Always Eager
"Here's a tip for you ladies: Men always want sex... It doesn't matter if he's a handsome multi-millionaire and you're a mail-order bride with a hump - he's waiting for you to say go."
The idea that men are always eager to have sex.
To take one common example in fiction, on the rare occasion that a man is a virgin, he will always want to initiate sexual activity with his significant other. He's never nervous about how the first time will go, just excited about the fact that he'll actually have sex. And he'll never, ever, be as happy about the state of his (nonexistent) sex life as his girlfriend is. Remember, women never enjoy sex, and want to avoid it at all costs, but men are completely the opposite.
This is a form of Double Standard, distantly related to All Men Are Perverts and All Women Are Prudes. It has about as much relationship to reality as most double standards do. Contrary to popular belief, men can get as nervous about sex as women do, but you can't expect fiction to live up to reality. It also implies that it is completely unnatural for women to want or, God forbid, even enjoy sex.
There are certain situations in which this trope will always appear:
- A Very Special Episode about a couple's first time. The dialogue between them will always be some variation of the same generic lines:
Bob: Are you sure about this...I mean, are you sure you're ready?
Alice: ...I'm sure...
- An episode about how a girl's virginity is precious in some way, and she has every opportunity to turn down sex from her boyfriend. Spoiler alert: The girl won't listen, and she'll either feel like a slut after sex, or she'll feel violated, and she'll swear to her friends that she'll never have sex again.
Sometimes sex is not an option, so in a show aimed at a younger audience, kissing will be used instead.
No real life examples, please; insert reason here You may, however, discuss the Real Life ramifications of this trope in an Analysis subpage.
- In Gantz, Kei Kurono starts out as a virgin who is all too eager to have sex with anything that moves. Kei Kishimoto moves in with him after their first mission "as his pet", because she has nowhere else to go. After continuously dropping hints and finally becoming explicit about his sexual desires:
Kishimoto: You don't have sex with your pets, do you?
Kurono: Well, when I was a kid I had this dog I liked to give hugs and kisses to.
- Gets a hammer taken to it in First Night, the first entry of the Virgin Night anthology. Yuzuru alternates between thinking he should toss Azumi to the bed and take control...and wondering if someone like him is even worthy of making love to her. His uncertainty is dispelled when Azumi reveals that she's looking forward to bedding him, as well.
- And gets an even more interesting subversion later in The Second Time. After Akira and Satomi have sex for the first time, Akira starts getting anxiety attacks over asking her about a second time, and whether he even should ask, or if she'll just assume he's a horndog (or if she didn't even enjoy the first time), and risk their relationship. He even lampshades how little manga seem to pay attention to what happens after the first time...right before she overcomes her nervousness and asks him.
- Played completely straight in Futari Ecchi.
- Subverted in Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt: Brief has a crush on Panty, but when she offhandedly suggests they have sex to celebrate a victory in battle, he sputters that she's going way too fast for him and he'd rather start out with a kiss on the cheek, ending in Panty telling him that he's blown his chance leaving Brief alone. (9:13 for the link)
- Guts from Berserk may not be a sexually-driven man, but he did admit that he was looking forward to having sex with his now-lover Casca a thousand more times after both of them lost their virginity to each other. Too bad that things just didn't turn out the way they should have in the end.
- Ise from Highschool Dx D is always eager to make out with any beautiful women. Just that his harem seems to stop him from doing it.
- Subverted in Marvel Star Wars and some other Star Wars Expanded Universe comics featuring a young Luke Skywalker. Luke is popular with women to the point of being a Chick Magnet, but never initiates a kiss and in fact seems shocked whenever one is forced on him. The first time he encounters several Zeltrons who all want to sleep with him he's highly dismayed and only wants to get away; later in the series he's more comfortable around them but deftly deflects all offers and prefers to be by himself. When a fellow Rebel that he's friends with propositions him for some casual sex, he turns her down despite being in a spat with Leia.
Fan Fiction[edit | hide]
- Played With in the Glee fanfic Hunting the Unicorn. Blaine lost his virginity at sixteen, but being very trusting and implied to think Sex Equals Love, he ended up strung along by a guy who clearly didn't feel the same way. When it turns out that Blaine still had the guy's number after they'd been broken up for WEEKS, his big brother went insane and threatened to burn the guy alive in his own house. He's... not so eager anymore.
- In American Pie, all of the guys are like this. One of the relationships in particular has the classic elements of this trope; the guy very badly wants to have sex with his girlfriend, but she's not ready and wants it to be "special", though she's OK with other forms of sexual activity like oral sex.
- In the Lifetime Movie of the Week Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life, the male lead is always pressuring his girlfriend to have sex with him because he thinks he is ready.
- One of the skits in Extreme Movie revolves around this.
- Inverted in Miss March. The main character, Eugene, wants to wait to have sex. his girlfriend, on the other hand, isn't so sure about waiting.
- Subverted in Pretty in Pink, when Andie accuses Blane of this trope, he points out that he hasn't even tried to kiss her yet.
- At least one of the main boys in Weird Science is like this.
- The boyfriend who also happens to be the killer in Scream is like this.
- This trope is mercilessly parodied in Student Bodies:
Girl: Come on, we're at a funeral!
Boy: Funerals get me hot!
- The main character in Sex Drive is like this, to the point that when he finally loses his virginity to his best friend/girlfriend he asks the aforementioned question the second time he has sex with her.
- The 1985 movie Fright Night actually opens with a scene like this.
- Parodied, subverted and inverted in Another Gay Movie, the guys are gay, but they're all eager to have sex, while still being nervous about it. Plus, they all proclaim themselves to be the dominant "tops" of their relationship, including the submissive "bottom". The one who is most eager about having sex is actually a lesbian who "converts" several of her straight female classmates.
- Inverted in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Nearly all of the potential sexual partners Andy passes up (including his girlfriend) are more eager than he is.
- Averted in The Graduate. Ben is quite shy and scandalized by the idea, and has to be talked into it. Of course, the woman in question was the wife of his father's business partner...
- Averted in the 1987 Dragnet movie. The incredibly straight-laced Friday turns down a pretty woman, leading to this exchange
Pep Streebeck: Are you crazy? Silvia Wiss wanted you!
Friday: Now let me tell you something, Streebeck. There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we're capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don't drag me down into your private Hell.
Pep Streebeck: You've got a lot of repressed feelings, don't you, Friday? Must be what keeps your hair up.
- Max in Hocus Pocus is like this, though it is a less explicit example. His little sister catches him feeling up his pillow at one point. He also hates it when people mention that a virgin had to light the black flame candle:
Max: I'll get it tattooed on my forehead, ok?!
- The brother in the 80's film Just One of the Guys is like this:
Buddy: Don't get me wrong. It's not like I've never had sex before; I've had lots of sex. It's just that now I'd like to try it with a partner.
Literature[edit | hide]
- Twilight inverts this - Edward has myriad reasons why he doesn't want to sleep with Bella, and Bella is not about to listen.
- In the Focus On The Family teen novel "Just Like Ice Cream," the protagonist is convinced to have sex with her far more experienced summer love when he tells her sex is good... just like ice cream.
- In Boy Meets World, Cory feels ready to have sex, and is frustrated when Topanga decides to wait until marriage.
- In an episode of The Wire, when Dukie comes home and sees/overhears Michael with a girl, the snippet of dialogue we hear is Michael asking the girl who's with him, "Are you sure you want to do this? I don't want to hurt you." This also foreshadows a Backstory with Michael.
- In an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry responds to his wife's concern that he never initiates sex by pointing out that he's always ready, and instructs her to tap him on the shoulder when she's ready. Of course, this backfires when she gives him the tap just after he's finished masturbating ("tapped out").
- In Degrassi the Next Generation, Peter doesn't pressure Darcy into having sex, but he clearly thinks he is ready, and is very eager to have sex with her.
- Also used with Declan and Holly J.
- Along with Alli and Johnny.
- Subverted hard in Season 1, when Jimmy is just as nervous about having sex with Ashley as she is. He just is better at hiding it.
- Subverted again with Post-Friendship Club Spinner, who pushes Darcy away when she reluctantly wants sex with him, knowing that it was wrong. He manages to stay true to the Christian thing until he stops dating Darcy in Season 6.
- The first time Holly J attempted to have sex, Blue outright said "I won't have sex with you," but they did hardly know each other at the time. Blue was eager, but has a shred moral fiber to him.
- Inverted with Married... with Children, where Peg Bundy always wants sex and Al Bundy is absolutely sickened by the very thought (though he's only sickened by the thought of sex with Peg, not sex in general).
- In the That '70s Show episode "The Pill":
Donna: All I'm saying is we have to wait for the right time.
Eric: Okay. How about now?
Donna: Um, no.
Eric: Okay. How about now?
Eric: Okay. Now?
Eric: Okay. Now, right?
Eric: I'll be waiting.
Donna: Shut up.
Eric: I've got a birthday coming up, so...
- The kissing variant is used in Lizzie McGuire.
- The kissing variant is also used in iCarly between Sam and Freddie.
- this is also somewhat of an inversion:
Carly: you've really never kissed anyone?
Carly: But you seem so...willing.
- Wizards of Waverly Place completely averts this the first time, then played on its ear the second time (kissing variant):
- In Season one Alex has no problem kissing a random guy just to stop her brother from mocking her over never being kissed, and she shows no problems with kissing a random stranger.
- However, when its a guy she actually likes, she's worried about him 'really getting around', and doesn't want to be just another girl to him. Turns out he's just as worried she'll be 'just another girl' and run off to brag to her friends after kissing him.
- All of the guys in the short-lived show Life As We Know It are like this, but especially the main character. In one of the episodes, he manipulates his girlfriend into agreeing to have sex with him.
- Finn, from Glee is like this, but he's tame compared to Puck, who wears this trope like a badge of honor.
- Probably some form of subversion/inversion, as after the sex he is ashamed and regretful as "it didn't mean anything". He pretty much reacts like the girl in the second example of "where you will see this" in the trope description.
- Inverted with Kurt, who explicitly defines himself as a romantic who is uncomfortable with both the physical act and the emotional implications of sex and who knew that he really wasn't ready to have sex. He literally put his fingers in his ears and started singing when his Dad sat down to have The Talk with him.
- The Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode The Leech Woman had Crow turn the male protagonist of the film's second half into this, especially funny when the titular Leech Woman (as her young hot self) says his name and Crow replies "YES! I LOVE YOU! WHIPPED CREAM!"
- This exchange occurs between Hanna and Caleb in Pretty Little Liars (in the tv show):
Caleb: Are you sure?
Hanna: I'm sure.
- That Oz doesn't want to engage is a very, very bad sign of potential infidelity in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Xander more or less lampshades this trope by saying Willow might have encountered Oz in one of the "seven annual minutes he's legitimately too preoccupied" (emphasis mine).
- On the other hand, when Willow first started propositioning him, Oz was the one who turned her down, saying he wasn't sure they were ready yet. In the above instance, Willow's worry wasn't just about the lack of interest in her but the obvious interest he had in another girl.
- Oz is usually the one putting the brakes on things. This fact seems to stem mostly from the way that he's very conscious of a. the fact that he's older and more experienced than Willow and b. that Willow's motives in situations like this aren't always terribly healthy ones. His reaction to Willow's proposed makeouts in "Innocence" is just gorgeous:
"Sometimes when I'm sitting in class... You know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage. Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you." (...) "Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous or even the score or something. And that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay. I can wait."
- One could argue that this trope is not so much Subverted as Played With—Willow comes onto him first about their first kiss and sex, but each time she seems to be doing it less because she really wants to and more because of another issue (first to make Xander jealous, later to "apologize" to Oz for cheating on him). While Oz turns her down both times, when they actually have sex, he initiates it.
- Inverted hard and with painful hilarity in Flight of the Conchords. Bret meets a pretty girl, who pressures and bullies him into having sex before he's ready, lies about shipping out to Afghanistan the next day, avoids and ignores him afterwards, brags about him to her friends and leaves him with a reputation as a man-ho. On the other hand, played straight in the fact that Jermaine thinks that this is a wonderful setup and can't understand why Bret is so upset about it.
- In one episode of The Big Bang Theory Leonard feels the sting of this particular double standard when Penny demands sex off him after he ruins her ability to date morons, when he attempts to do the same to both Penny and ex-partner Leslie both reject him out of hand.
Video Games[edit | hide]
- A notable subversion in Dragon Age Origins with Alistair. Despite appearing to be a seductive, charming gentleman and snarky ladies' man, when your character manages to make him fall for you, unlike other members of your group, he will not "put out" on the drop of a hat because he doesn't feel ready to lose his virginity yet and needs you to respect that he needs time.
- Further subverted in that when he eventually is ready and decides to go for it, he is noticeably nervous.
The Warden: Are you sweating?
Alistair: No! I-I mean, yes! I mean... I'm a little nervous, sure. Not that this is anything bad or frightening or... well... YES.
Web Original[edit | hide]
- The Nostalgia Critic takes great pleasure in trashing this one. While he's a dirty-minded perv and loves a good fucking, we mostly just see or hear about the times he was forced into sex.
Web Comics[edit | hide]
- Inverted in Girls with Slingshots where Hazel is the one who is really, really horny and she has to put up with her boyfriend gradually becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of having sex with her.
- In the Futurama episode "Amazon Women In The Mood", Fry, Kif, Bender and Zapp are to be executed. The method: "Death... by snu-snu! The reactions include "I never thought I would die like this... but I always hoped I would!" and "The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised". Not to mention facial expressions constantly shifting from glee to terror. (Except for Kif, who is only terrified, prompting Zapp to say: "What are you, gay?")