A Real Man Pees Standing Up

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You have to isolate your character from the other characters, so you have him go to the bathroom. Since he's male, he just has to unzip his pants. This helps because seeing another man's penis turns you gay. Why do men in real life pee standing up? Freud would say it's the first conscious expression of a boy's masculinity. A more practical-minded person might simply say it's easier and quicker than dropping trou to sit down. In any case, men tend to pee standing up, both in visual media and literature. Some other things at work here:

  • It is not acceptable Ho Yay for two men to, in a restroom, be any closer than the maximum distance of the given situation. Also, two men must not be adjacent, but if forced by circumstances to do so, the eyes must remain pointed up; the unspoken rule is that no one is actually peeing in there, no matter how much anyone is currently peeing. Conversation with strangers is an absolute no-no.
  • It is, however, acceptable for two men to urinate together, especially when not in a restroom. The "eyes pointed up" thing still holds, but conversation even among strangers is permissible because, hey, nothing else says "casual" like pissing wherever you please, so why not?
Examples of A Real Man Pees Standing Up include:

Anime & Manga


  • Greystoke: Legend of Tarzan has Lord Greystoke pee on an ape.

Video Games

  • Urinating together in Final Fantasy IX is "an age-old ritual between male friends".

Western Animation

  • Butters in South Park even has a song to go with it: "Hey, Mr. Weiner, whaddya know, do you have to make a tinkle tinkle, I really think so" The boys also confuse urination with ejaculation. A lot.