Alcohol-Induced Idiocy/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

"An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men."

Kyle: Dude, why is your store called the Indian Burial Ground Pet Store?
Store owner: Well there was an indian burial ground here before I bought it.
Stan: So you just built your store on an indian burial ground!?
Store owner: Oh hell no. First I dug up all the bodies, pissed on them and then buried them again upside down
Kyle: Why!?
Store owner: Why? I don't know. I was drunk.

Dwight Conrad: I heard alcohol makes you stupid.
Fry: No I'm... doesnt!

Futurama: "Route of All Evil"

Penny: [My ex boyfriend] got arrested for taking a whiz on a cop car.
Leonard: What?
Penny: He was drunk.
Leonard: I would hope so!

Hold my beer.

—Far too many people