Apology Not Accepted

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

"Okay. I don't forgive you."

—Herb Kazzazz, BoJack Horseman.

Fiction loves to advocate for Forgiveness and Turning the Other Cheek. A person has done a terrible thing. They are truly remorseful and are willing to make amends. A simple apology will probably do the trick.

Well, no.

Real life isn't all about that; in addition to some people holding grudges, some actions are too heinous to be Easily Forgiven. Apology Not Accepted happens when the injured party refuses a verbal, written or otherwise communicated apology. Most cases portray the person rejecting the apology as a grudge holder and unsympathetic. Sometimes, an apology will rejected at first, then accepted later. There is the rare case where a work acknowledges that some things cannot be forgiven. The Aesop then becomes that sometimes, an apology in and of itself doesn't fix things, and no one is obligated to forgive you.

You will most likely see this trope in a drama, though there are comedic examples.

WARNING! There are unmarked Spoilers ahead. Beware.

Examples of Apology Not Accepted include:

Anime and Manga

  • In Pet Shop of Horrors, Leon's little brother Chris comes to live with him after being raised by their aunt and uncle. Why? Because Chris thought his aunt and uncle were his parents; his cousin Sam rather brusquely broke the news that they weren't siblings and that he was responsible for his real mother's death, since she had him at fifty. This revelation traumatized Chris so much that he stopped speaking, much to his aunt and uncle's dismay. Despite them giving a What the Hell, Hero? speech to Sam, the damage was done. In the final volume, Sam comes to the pet shop where D is watching Chris, and says she wants Chris back in her life. She apologizes for what she said, and asks if they can try again. At first, Chris isn't into it, but later changes his mind, reconciling with Sam as well as his aunt and uncle.
  • Sailor Moon:
    • In an early episode, Shingo accidentally breaks his best friend Mika's handmade prizewinning doll at school. He clams up rather than apologizing, and their classmates tell Usagi about this. Usagi confronts Shingo, as he's crumpling up apology notes, and tells him to go to Mika's house and apologize. Shingo tries, but Nephrite beat him to the punch and compelled Mika to make dolls while not talking to anyone, rejecting the apology. When Shingo asks Usagi for advice, she suggests a present would do the trick. He makes a clay Sailor Moon doll, and brings it to Mika at her next doll exhibition. It's only then he and Usagi realize a youma had possessed Mika, and drains her. The youma knocks Shingo out and smashes the clay doll. Mika revives, sees the clay shards as well as Shingo's apologetic look, and finally forgives him.
    • In a Wham! Episode of R, Chibiusa gets the Senshi captured by Rubeus after stealing Usagi's Silver Crystal and attempting to return to the future. Rubeus tells Sailor Moon that he'll free the Senshi if she hands over "the rabbit" aka Chibiusa. Chibiusa goes My God, What Have I Done? about her stupidity and is sincerely apologetic, but Usagi isn't hearing it, threatening to smack her repeatedly for betraying her and her friends. Mamoru has to stop Usagi, who eventually decides to meet Rubeus alone rather than sacrifice a child on seeing how scared Chibiusa is. Chibiusa ends up coming anyway, inverting the trope as Usagi screams at her to run, that it isn't her fight, and Chibiusa insists that it is.
    • In the S finale, Sailor Uranus and Neptune call out Usagi for giving the Holy Grail to Mistress 9 in an attempt to help Hotaru fight from the inside and regain control of her body. It worked, but Mistress 9 and Pharaoh 90 nearly brought about the Silence with the Grail. Usagi apologizes as her friends defend her from the Outer Senshi, saying she doesn't want them to fight. Uranus and Neptune assert that if she fights them, without her friends, they'll consider her apology. This ended up being a Secret Test of Character; when Usagi is pinned and faces a fatal attack, her Messiah powers awaken and knock down Uranus and Neptune. They then apologize to her for the insubordination to the real Messiah, something she accepts.

Comic Books

  • The Legend of Korra comic Ruins of the Empire:
    • Kuvira says she is sorry multiple times for her actions in Book Four when she tried to make herself Empress of the Earth Kingdom, and no one accepts them. Suyin rightly tells off Kuvira for thinking she is entitled to forgiveness after what she did to Zaofu and the Beifongs. Asami hasn't forgotten Kuvira killed her father. Only one rejection actually makes Kuvira start her Heel Realization: when her ex-fiance Baatar Jr. says he doesn't forgive her. He calls her out for trying to kill him when Korra took him hostage, and for assuming that he would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. Baatar Jr. admits that he fucked up, but unlike Kuvira, he wouldn't sacrifice someone he loved.
    • As for Baatar Jr., he is truly repentant about helping Kuvira take over Zaofu and imprisoning his family. From what we've heard, his mother is the only one who has forgiven him and petitioned the courts to change his sentence from life in prison to house arrest. No other Beifong has forgiven Baatar Jr. or trusts him, including his father. They all are pretty cold and awkward around him, with Opal being more forthright about her dislike. Baatar Jr. fully accepts that he deserves all this scorn in this Ironic Hell.
  • In Robin: Year One, Batman fired Dick Grayson, the first Robin, for playing Two-Face's game and believing that Two-Face would spare the man he kidnapped. Robin apologizes, but Bruce wont' relent, and Alfred admonishes Bruce because Dick is still recovering from Two-Face beating him to death with a baseball bat. Batman later admits he was out of line when Robin runs away after recovering.
  • In The Sandman, Dream apologetically and solemnly tell Rose this multiple times as he prepares to kill her to save the Dreaming, as she is an Apocalypse Maiden. Rose eventually shouts at him to stop apologizing, and to get it over with already.
  • Teen Titans showed this in a few cases.
    • In Slade's backstory, he apologized to his wife for getting Joey, their toddler son, permanently injured by assassins that held Joey hostage. Her response was to put a bullet through his eye. (She was aiming for the head, but he heard the pistol cock.)
    •  Robin couldn't stop apologizing to Starfire after learning that Mirage kidnapped and impersonated her, and Kory lampshades how he failed to realize something was wrong when Mirage didn't have flight or starbolts. Even Heel Face Revolving Door Slade could tell something was off while stalking them, since he knows it's not like Starfire to hold back and let Robin do all the fighting. Nightwing attempts to salvage the situation by popping the question, but Raven's Super-Powered Evil Side crashed the nuptials while possessing Starfire.
    • When Dark Angel erased Donna from existence, Wally West managed to bring her back with his memories of her. Just one problem: he brought back the idealized version of Donna, not the actual person. Donna suffered an existential crisis as a result, questioning if she was real or just the girl on whom Wally crushed. He tries to apologize and bring her back to the person she was, but she rebuffed him. Even when Donna regained her true self, they remained friends.
    • In the Teen Titans: Year One miniseries, Donna accidentally trashed Roy Harper's car while on a date. That there was a supervillain involved was besides the point, since Donna lost her head, and control of her powers. She was genuinely sorry, but Speedy wouldn't hear it. The other Titans reamed him out for this when they found it, since it was a legitimate accident. As adults, however, Donna is more philosophical about it since they were all kids. 
    • The 2003 reboot started with Cassie's high school expelling her for being a superhero, specifically Wonder Girl. Her mother tries to defend her, pointing out that Cassie is being punished for doing good; the principal responds that they can't have a "pagan" in class, and her daughter isn't normal. Cassie, still traumatized by Donna Troy's death, responds by punching the teacher's desk. Realizing what she did, she runs off apologizing. Needless to say, she still gets expelled. 

Fan Works

  • While it's not written out in The Dogfather, Draco is genuinely horrified when his complaining about Buckbeak in Year 3 leads to his father pulling strings to send Buckbeak to death, and Harry not speaking to him. He attempts to make amends, but Harry isn't interested until Bellatrix attacks them both.

Film

  • In Lilo & Stitch, Mertle says this word-for-word when Lilo apologizes for attacking her in dance class and biting her. Lilo's apology is sincere, but from her expression she knows that even if Mertle weren't The Bully and Alpha Bitch, she wasn't expecting any forgiveness.
    • One heartbreaking version in the sequel Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch. The climax has Stitch realizing his DNA is coming apart, compelling him to attack everyone around him including Lilo. He runs off after scratching her before her big recital. Lilo abandons the recital to rescue Stitch as he flies away. She says she's sorry for yelling at him earlier after Jumba finally tells her what the problem is, telling Stitch to come back. Stitch says he can't come back, to keep her safe, before glitching again and crashing into the mountainside.
  • The Little Mermaid has Sebastian attempt to apologize to a sobbing Ariel for accidentally revealing her crush on a human to Triton as well as her grotto of human trinkets, leading to Triton destroying it all to "teach her a lesson". Sebastian only gets as far as her name before she tells him to go away. All he and Flounder can do is leave heartbroken.

Literature

  • The novel 72 Hour Hold features the protagonist Keri delivering this to her mother when she gets sober and wants to reenter Keri's life. Keri's mother was a drunk who often abandoned her daughter emotionally; even though she's sober, she keeps messing up. As a result, when her mother tries getting in touch with Keri again, Keri turns her down rudely to focus on her daughter Trina.
  • Divergent has Al bawling when he apologizes to Tris for assisting in an attempt on her life, after she ranked first in the Divergent faction. Her response is that if he touches her again, she will kill him.
  • Harry Potter has this happen a few times in the past and the present:
    • In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ernie Macmillan apologizes to Harry for accusing him of being the Heir of Slytherin after Hermione gets Petrified. Harry accepted the apology because he had bigger things on his mind; Ron doesn't, scowling at Ernie for accusing his best friend.
    • Zigzagged with Percy, because he doesn't apologize at first for turning his back on the family and making his mother cry. In fact, he doesn't talk to them period after the Wizarding World learns that Minister Fudge was lying about Voldemort's return, meaning his father was right all along not to trust Fudge. The new Minister, Rufus Scrimgoeur, tries to use Percy to gain admittance to the Burrow, where Harry is spending the winter holidays. Percy is given a few moments with his family, where he could apologize for being an ambitious ass, while the Minister talks to Harry. Instead, Percy acted like the previous year didn't happen so his younger siblings — including Ginny — tossed mashed parsnips at him.
    • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows showed in a flashback that Severus Snape made his worst mistake by calling Lily a "Mudblood" when she was defending him from James and his friends. It was the last straw, and she ended their friendship. When he camped out by the Fat Lady to offer an apology, she wouldn't accept it.
  • A Song of Ice and Fire:
    • A Storm of Swords shows that Lady Stoneheart, aka a resurrected Catelyn Stark, will accept no apologies from those involved in the Red Wedding or associated with the Lannisters. When Merrett Frey begs for his life after Stoneheart uses the Brotherhood Without Banners to lead him into a trap, she gives the order to hang him.
    • In A Feast for Crows, Jaime is disgusted with his family for arranging the Red Wedding, which violated Sacred Hospitality by using the Freys to kill off the Starks over the crime of Robb Stark refusing to marry a Frey and instead wed Jeyne Westerling. He wasn't directly involved, but everyone blames him because Tywin Lannister wouldn't have engaged in mass slaughter if his captor Catelyn Stark hadn't released him as a hostage in exchange for her daughters. When visiting the Westerlings, who used their daughter Jeyne to curry favor with the Lannisters, Jaime is truly sorry on seeing that Jeyne has torn her clothes in mourning and still has Robb's crown. He can't directly apologize but says that he'll arrange a good marriage for her. Jeyne isn't in the mood to hear it, for obvious reasons.

Live-Action TV

  • Angel
    • An early season one episode has Angel drugged to make Angelus come out; it ends with him Chained to a Bed. While he apologizes to Angel Investigations, despite being under the influence, they leave him tied. Played for Laughs, of course.
    • In "Sanctuary," Buffy travels from Sunnydale to "rescue" Angel from a fugitive Faith. When she finds that Angel is housing Faith, the latter attempts to apologize for what she did. Namely, stealing Buffy's body and sleeping with her boyfriend. Buffy won't have it, understandably. She cites the number of times she tried to help Faith, who betrayed her and the Scoobies.
    • When Angel tries to go evil and fires his friends in season 2, they take a long time to forgive him. While rescuing Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn from parasitic eye demons, a semiconscious Cordelia tells Angel she's not okay because he hurt her feelings. He's able to buy her forgiveness with clothes; Wesley and Gunn make him work in a kiddie desk as the lowest-paid employee in Angel Investigations as punishment.
    • Season 3 has a hospitalized Wesley apologize to Angel for letting Holt manipulate him, leading to Holt kidnapping the infant Connor. Angel whispers to him that this is him and not Angelus doing this, and tries to smother him with a pillow. The rest of the team has to pull him off, but they're also mad at Wesley for his screwup.
    • Gunn is remorseful and apologizes to the team in season five on learning that his Deal with the Devil led to Fred's death. Wesley responds by stabbing him in the leg.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer
    • In the season 2 premiere, Buffy is suffering bad PTSD from the Master killing her, and it means that she's unusually sour with all her friends. Xander tolerates this until vampires kidnap Willow, along with Giles and Cordelia, to bring back the Master. Buffy is horrified and apologizes for being off her game. He tells her to shove it unless she can help mount a rescue, though they later make up once their friends are saved.
    • In "Lover's Walk" in season 3, Cordelia and Oz learn that Xander and Willow were having an affair, so Cordelia gets injured. Xander is truly apologetic seeing Cordelia in a hospital bed and tries to say he's sorry, but Cordelia won't even look him in the eye. Understandable, considering she gave up her social status for him in season 2. Oz tells Willow bluntly that he needs space and she can't just act like nothing happened.
    • "Helpless" has Giles confess to Buffy that, as part of a test that the Watcher's Council set, he took away her powers. He apologizes for endangering her after the test goes wrong. She yells at him since a Knight of Cerebus vampire is hunting her down, and says that if he touches her again, she will kill him.
    • Likewise, season seven has Giles attempt to apologize to Buffy for his attempted murder of a Heel Face Turn Spike. She slams the door in his face.
  • Like in the comic, The Sandman has these moments:
    • Death yells at Dream for worrying her and not calling for help when Burgess held him captive. She calls him self-tempered and proud. He gives a meek apology; in response she tosses the bread at him. With that said, Death does forgive him, and takes her with him on his rounds.
    • Dream say he's sorry to Rose in the season 1 finale, because they realize that he needs to kill her to stop the damage to the Dreaming she is causing as an uncontrollable Vortex. Dream was hesitating because he does not kill. He's come to genuinely like Rose when working with her to find the errant Dreams as well as her brother Jed, and she chose to save him from the Corinthian. Rose rejects the apology by gently telling him to stop.
  • Better Call Saul:
    • In the wake of Chuck McGill's death, Howard Hamlin innocently tells Jimmy that he suspects Chuck killed himself, which he did. Later, Jimmy's girlfriend and partner in crime Kim confronts him and completely tears into him, screaming in his face about how insensitive and selfish he was for offloading his guilt over Chuck's suicide onto Jimmy. Despite being genuinely apologetic and willing to make things right, Kim tells him to piss off and storms out of his office. But unlike most examples of this trope, Kim is the one who's clearly in the wrong. While she's genuine about her care of Jimmy, she's also hijacking Chuck's death and using it as an excuse to be nasty to Howard due to unresolved feelings of anger and betrayal over how their working relationship went sour. And later on, this rejected apology would serve as the starting point in her and Jimmy crossing the Moral Event Horizon and ruining his life and reputation out of petty spite.
    • Likewise, when Nacho dies, Mike visits his father to deliver the news. Mike--who had grown fond of Nacho but was forced to let him die on Gus Fring's orders--assures his dad there will be justice for his son's death, and that he'll get revenge on the Salamancas, but he's not having any of it. As far as he's concerned, violence begets violence, and there's no meaningful difference between the violence that took his son and the violence that will be inflicted on the Salamancas. After throwing Mike's words back in his face and making it clear that he's no better than the men responsible for his son's death, he ends the conversation right there and leaves.

Music

  • Elvis Presley has a song called "Return to Sender" where the singer attempts to send an apology letter to his ex, only to have it sent back repeatedly.
  • "Bye Bye Bye" from N'Sync features this, as the singer prepares to break up with his girlfriend. He gives her one chance to save their relationship, but admits that he is tired of playing mind games. Nothing that she says can change his mind, including pleading.
  • "Yesterday" from The Beatles implies this, where the singer is pondering what they did wrong in a relationship that lead to a breakup: "I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday." It seems their lover did not accept the apologies.

Newspaper Comics

Oral Tradition, Folklore, Myth and Legend

  • The Bible, this shows up in the Old and New Testament:
    • God gets mad at the Israelites for worshipping the Golden Calf. Though they repent, God through Moses makes them grind up the idol, dissolve it into water, and swallow it. Most die from the subsequent metal poisoning. As he said, "I am a jealous God."
    • According to fringe Protestant eschatology, on the day of judgment the Rapture will happen. The chosen people will ascend, while those who haven't repented in time will find they are too late to make amends.
  • Hindu Mythology
    • Sage Durvasa cursed the gods when Indra jokingly put a garland present on an elephant, and the elephant trampled it.
    • This was common with Durvasa. In another case, King Ambarisha was waiting on Durvasa to bathe in the Yamuna river, before breaking his fast for a religious day. Durvasa was taking a long time, so the Brahmin scholars advised the king to sip water before noon so as to meet the conditions. Just as the king was about to, Durvasa confronted him, and wouldn't accept any apologies or explanations. He then turned some of his hair into a sharp discus, and tossed it at Ambarisha. Vishnu had to send his discus to save the king and force some humility from Durvasa.
    • In the end of the Ramayana, Rama attempts to apologize to Sita for exiling her while pregnant due to rumors. She turns him down, firmly saying that she refuses to come back to the kingdom. Then she asks for her mother, the earth, to swallow her up.
  • In Judaism, there are a set of rules about a proper apology. You have to apologize to a wronged party. If you have attempted to make amends and apologized three times, and those apologies have been rejected, then you have fulfilled your obligation. Yom Kippur allows you to beg for full forgiveness from God.

Puppet Shows

  • Muppet Treasure Island has Miss Piggy (Benjamina Gunn) knock Kermit (Captan Smollett) into a gong for leaving her at the altar. He apologizes to her later when she summons him for an audience to chew him out, but she tells him that sorry isn't enough!
  • Sesame Street
    • One time Telly was wearing a huge cap his uncle gifted him, but it kept whacking Elmo every time he turns his head. After he knocks Elmo to the ground in Hooper's store and apologizes, Elmo finally loses it, tells Telly that this isn't okay, and please take the hat off!
    • Baby Bear and Goldilocks often have this problem. Goldilocks has a competitive streak despite wanting to genuinely become Baby Bear's friend, and tends to mess up things for him in her attempts to "help". Nervous Wreck Baby Bear gets genuinely fed up and rejects her apologies. At one point Justice Sonia Sotomayor stepped in to resolve a dispute between them when Goldilocks broke his favorite chair by accident.

Theatre

  • Inverted in Hamilton during the song "The Ten Duel Commandments". The cast mentions that before two parties engage in a duel, if the wounded party receives an apology, then they can call it off before anyone gets hurt. Aaron Burr demands an apology in "Your Obedient Servant" from Alexander Hamilton for sabotaging his election chances at being president; Hamilton refuses because, even though Burr has a legitimate grievance, Hamilton believes that he spoke the truth.
  • The Little Mermaid goes further in the stage show with Sebastian being able to apologize to Ariel after accidentally outing her love for Eric and grotto to Triton. Ariel rejects the apology and says she's running away to find Eric on the surface. Sebastian doesn't help his case by starting "Under the Sea" to convince her to stay in the ocean, as she swims off in frustration.

Video Games

  • In Undertale, you can choose to not forgive Asriel when he says that he is sorry for the things he did as Flowery and as himself on his final battle. He understands why, all things considered.

Visual Novels

  • Zigzagged in Syntherapy. While Dr. Park is angry at Tara for lying to her about the AI Willow's case, and hiding the fact that Tara is banned from her college campus where Willow resides, she accepts Tara's apologies and reasons. Tara explains that she lied because Willow doesn't have an advocate to speak on their behalf. For the rest of the game, however, Dr. Park questions Tara's intentions.

Web Comics

  • Nimona: After denying that he shot off Ballister's arm on purpose for most of the story, Goldenloin finally breaks down and admits that the Institute made him do it, or they would kill Ballister. He apologizes while watching a captive Ballister, for everything. Ballister rejects the apology, saying it's a bit late to say sorry when Nimona is in danger and there's too much bad blood between them.
  • PvP:
    • Inverted when Francis gropes Jade, causing her to quit PVP and start her own magazine on women's gaming. When her coworker confesses to loving her and gropes her the same way, the trauma causes Jade to return to the boy's club. In the first version, since Francis is unapologetic, she opts to beat him up as a lesson. The rebooted comic has Francis snort when Cole tells him that, to avoid liability, he has to do HR training about sexual harassment, and Jade will be in charge of it. Jade makes him wear fake breasts as punishment, much to Francis's consternation.
    • At a convention, Jade opted to stay in her hotel room while Brent went out to the festivities. A woman hung out with him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Brent allowed it, not knowing that Jade had seen when coming out of the hotel room. He apologized to Jade, but she didn't accept it; they had a fight and (temporarily) broke up as a result.
    • Zigzagged when Jade smacks Brent for backseat-driving. While Brent was shocked that Jade would do such a thing and didn't want to talk to her, Jade did apologize but also pointed out that he was grabbing the wheel, which could have made them crash. Brent refuses to listen and schedules an appointment with a therapist.
  • In The Monstrous Duke's Adopted Daughter, Marquis Sperado, after noticing that Leslie, the daughter he has abused since birth and even tried to murder in a fire to empower his eldest child, has the magic power his family has coveted, tries to stop himself and the rest of the household from mistreating her and even directly ask for forgiveness over the years of mistreatment. Leslie, who knows her family too well and has already planned her escape from them, immediately realizes that this is a very transparent attempt to softening her for the kill, so immediately and publicly rejects their half-assed forgiveness pleas.

Web Original

  • The Nostalgia Critic once tried to apologize to Dante Basco for his video on the "Ten Worst Avatar episodes". Dante, all decked in Zuko getup and shooting fireballs at the Critic, wasn't having it.

Western Animation

  • American Dad featured this in the episode "Four Little Words": Stan hates hearing Francine say the words, "I told you so" when his Zany Schemes go wrong. To avoid hearing her say this after an attempt to set up his boss on a blind date with her best friend goes wrong, Stan frames Francine for murder. In the episode's climax, he goes to confess and apologize to her while she's teaching in a remote India village as part of her atonement, expecting that since he admitted his wrong, all's well that ends well. Nope; she punches him in the face and reams him for the sheer amount of hell he put her through to avoid an "I told you so". She hasn't forgiven him by the end of the episode.
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender:
    • A horrifying example in flashback: Zuko spoke out of turn during a war meeting about a general who wanted to use recruits as canon fodder, against Iroh's warnings, and had to settle the argument through an Agni Kai, a fire duel. He thought he would fight the general who brought up the plan he hated, but instead would have to fight his father, Emperor Ozai. Out of filial piety and fear, Zuko apologizes to Ozai for his breach of etiquette and says that he won't fight his own father. In response, Ozai burns off part of his face to "teach" a bit of respect, and exiled his heir. Iroh couldn't watch while Zhao and a young Azula cheered Ozai on with glee. Season 3 had Zuko realize this was super messed up of a father to do to their own child, and called out Ozai for this during the eclipse.
    • Zuko sincerely apologizes to the Gaang when trying to convince them to hire him as Aang's firebending teacher, after the Day of the Black Sun invasion failed and last time they saw him, he helped his sister Azula take over Ba Sing Se. Sokka and Katara aren't into it, and Aang is unusually hostile towards Zuko out of guilt towards the soldiers he had to leave behind. While they do later agree to take him under probation since he fought the assassin he hired, Katara makes it clear that any funny business, and she will "end" his destiny.
    • In "The Southern Raiders," Zuko as part of his Redemption Quest helps Katara track down the Fire Nation general that killed her mother, a pathetic retiree named Yon Rha. As Katara prepares to kill him, he begs for mercy, offering up his own mother in his stead as an "apology". Katara realizes she can't do it, and walks away to leave him sobbing in the rain. She doesn't forgive him, and her pity is colored with contempt.
  • BoJack Horseman uses this to denote when BoJack has irreparably screwed up or damaged a relationship. He's not the only character to undergo these screw-ups, but he is the main one:
    • "The Telescope" has BoJack give an "I feel bad, I'm sorry" apology to his mentor Herb Kazzaz when the latter has terminal cancer. He had refused to stand up for Herb when the latter was outed as a gay man, fired from Horsin' Around, and blacklisted, and hadn't talked to him in twenty years. Herb delivers the first Wham! Line of the series: "I don't forgive you." He says that it wasn't getting fired that hurt; it was that he needed a friend, and BoJack wasn't there for him before or after the firing. Herb will never forget that his best friend abandoned him in his time of need.
    • In "Escape From L.A.," BoJack turns down Penny Carson's advances on him because, as he explains, he is old enough to be her father. Even if she's seventeen, the age of consent in New Mexico, it would be wrong. Then after Charlotte turns down BoJack, she hears Penny's voice coming from BoJack's boat which is parked in the Carson backyard (long story), and climbs up, to find her daughter undressing BoJack. After a beat of silence, Charlotte sends Penny to her room. BoJack tries to apologize, but Charlotte cuts off BoJack, telling him not to even say it. She says that he needs to be out in thirty minutes, or she will call the cops. "And if you try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.".
    • A variant happens in "Fish Out of Water." While promoting Secretariat in an underwater city, BoJack spots Kelsey Jannings promoting another indie film to an audience of none. He remembers that he got her fired, and hides from her. Also, thanks to the aquatic suits they're wearing, BoJack can't verbally talk to her. His first attempts to deliver her an apology note leads to him on a bus that goes thirty nautical miles out of the city, and his second attempt is literally watered down as he tries to deliver it to her. Then he finds out after she leaves in a taxi that a button on his suit allows him to talk underwater, frustrating him to no end.
    • Princess Carolyn ends up on the receiving end of this in "Best Thing That Ever Happened" from BoJack of all people. She screwed up his chance to be in two movies, one that would have mended his friendship with Kelsey since he got her fired from Secretariat. BoJack prepares to fire Princess Carolyn for her screwup, and much of the episode is about Princess Carolyn trying to apologize, beg, negotiate, and point out that she's had to clean up many of BoJack's screw-ups over twenty-three years' worth of representation and one mistake shouldn't mar their relationship. It doesn't work, and it takes two more seasons for them to properly reconcile.
    • "It's You" has Todd shutting down BoJack's attempts to apologize for sleeping with Emily when Todd was trying to rekindle a relationship with her. While Emily is a consenting adult who shares as much of the blame, BoJack had been emotionally abusing Todd in a toxic friendship. He says that he's tired of how BoJack thinks an apology will fix all of the terrible shit that he does to the people he supposedly cares about, blaming it on the drugs or his abusive family. They do reconcile later, but Todd sets clear boundaries with BoJack and refuses to be his Butt Monkey or charity project to make BoJack feel better.
    • "The Old Sugarman Place" shows in flashback that BoJack's maternal grandparents Joseph and Honey had a variant after Honey drunkenly made their daughter Beatrice, BoJack's mother, drive their car after a party and caused them to crash. Why did Honey engage in these dangerous antics? Because she was grieving her older son Crackerjack, who died in the Second World War, and wanted to feel alive again. While covered in lacerations and scratches, Honey begged Joseph not to despise her for her "hysterics," apologizing for acting out, and Joseph yelled at her both for making a scene at a nearby party and nearly getting Beatrice killed. Beatrice tried to mediate by asking her father not to yell at her mother, but both parents ignored her. As befitting the time period, Joseph got Honey lobotomized to stop her "hysterics" when Honey begged him to fix her, making her an Empty Shell.
    • In "Free Churro," BoJack wonders if his mother was saying that she was sorry with her last words, "I see you" and he talks about that if it was an apology, it was a shitty thing to deliver to him on her death bed, when she wasn't lucid and he could receive no closure. He rejects it, saying that he wanted her to see him when she was alive. While giving a eulogy, BoJack realizes that she could have easily been reading the "ICU" sign in the hospital ward and that crushes him; Beatrice truly felt she had done nothing wrong to him.
    • "The Stopped Show" has a drug-addicted BoJack learn that he choked his costar and current flame Gina during a stunt gone wrong. When Princess Carolyn shows BoJack the footage reluctantly, after it got leaked online, BoJack is truly horrified. He apologizes to Gina before they prepare to lie during an interview that it was just acting. Gina refuses to accept it, still traumatized and wearing lots of makeup to cover the bruises around her neck. She says that they won't even talk about it; they are done, and will only be civil on-set. BoJack understands why, all things considered, and awkwardly plays along with the coverup interview because Gina doesn't want to be known as "the girl that was choked by BoJack Horseman".
    • "Xerox of A Xerox" ends this way, on an industry-wide level. BoJack and Princess Carolyn stage an apology interview after BoJack's friend group gets wind of a news story that will implicate BoJack in Sarah Lynn's death. While his remorse is sincere, all of his lines are spoon-fed to him and carefully edited so that he doesn't admit to any wrongdoing that would damage his reputation. It seems to work, and people love BoJack after it airs. But... he does a second one when the network executive in charge of the first interview suggests a followup to boost ratings. Biscuits Braxby goes from delivering softball questions to confronting him with evidence that he left Sarah Lynn to die and lied to the police about it. She goes from that Wham! Line to a troubling pattern that he has where people get hurt due to the power he has over them. During her curveballs, BoJack starts spluttering and throws fellow alcoholic Sharona under the bus while also asserting he already apologized to her. Let's just say none of the apologies in either interview are accepted by the next episode: everyone in Hollywoo hates BoJack, Sarah Lynn's abusive mother and stepfather sue for damages, and people at BoJack's Al-Anon meeting give him Death Glares and What the Hell, Hero? gestures for breaking the "anonymous" code while Sharona is nowhere in sight. The Xerox company also bankrupts BoJack in a lawsuit for mentioning their name.
    • "Nice While It Lasted" has a really sad one, in the series finale. BoJack finds Diane on the roof at Princess Carolyn's business wedding. He tries to start their old dynamics, but Diane shuts him down. She then reveals the voicemail that he sent before his suicide attempt, that he was going swimming because no one cares about him, and he would only stay out of the pool if Diane picked up the phone. Diane points out that she was asleep in Chicago, hours away, and she wouldn't have come to rescue him in time. BoJack, as it turns out, doesn't remember any of this; he was hopped up on drugs and alcohol, and sincerely apologizes to Diane. She doesn't accept it, explaining that he caused her to spiral into a near nervous breakdown. Fortunately, the year that BoJack was in prison and her blocking him gave Diane that time. With that said, she is still mad at BoJack and makes it clear their friendship is over, because she can't be his moral center. BoJack acknowledges that her reasons are more than fair, and says that Diane doesn't owe him anything, not even closure. She at least gives him that, thanking him for being in her life.
  • Danny Phantom
    • An early season one episode has Maddy mad at Jack for forgetting that she was visiting her sister for a "divorce party" and walks out on him. Jack goes Oh Crap when it sinks in and chases after her, landing in the boondocks to apologize for being so oblivious and focused on ghosts. Thing is he forgot the present he brought as an apology, and Maddy isn't amused. Jasmine and Danny have to save the situation by delivering the present and lying that Jack was keeping it safe from mosquitoes.
    • Another episode has Jasmine worried about Danny, but a ghost disguised as a new counselor uses Jasmine to siphon misery off Danny and humiliate him in school during Spirit Week. Danny gets more depressed and rejects Jazz's apologies for making him feel worse. This culminates in her learning about her brother's secret identity, and deciding to wait until he is ready to tell her.
    • In season two, Valerie becomes The Dragon to Vlad and a ghost hunter after the ghost dog Cujo gets her dad fired, making her a Fallen Princess at school. Danny Phantom apologizes to Val and keeps saving her from Cujo's Beware of Vicious Dog attitude, even protecting their flour baby in a later episode. Valerie eventually befriends Danny Fenton and even starts a brief relationship with him, but she hates Danny Phantom up until the Series Finale.
    • One season two episode has Jasmine attempting to join Danny, Sam and Tucker in hunting for ghosts. The problem is that she has no experience, and she keeps trapping Danny in the ghost thermos. Danny is unamused as she frees him each time and says she's sorry. They eventually have a fight, causing Jazz to run off to Vlad's mansion. Danny's attempts to find and apologize to her in turn leads to Vlad catching him. He then forces them to fight, allowing them to vent their stress to each other.
    • The season three premiere has Danny instigate an Escalating War of pranks and snitching on Vlad's ghostly activities, as revenge for Vlad torturing and cloning him in the previous season. Vlad, however, knows how to play as dirty, and successfully becomes Mayor of Amity Park. After using his power to harass Danny in civilian and ghost form, Danny admits that he went too far and tries to restart their truce. Vlad rejects it and sics the Guys in White on Danny Phantom.
  • Family Guy:
    • "Dial Meg for Murder"
      • The family made Meg break up with her boyfriend Luke after finding out that he was a fugitive from the law. Lois, in particular, lectured Meg for letting love blind her. For reasons, Meg ends up in jail, coming back a hardened criminal. To top it all off, no one even visited her. When Lois does Meg's laundry as a peace offering, Meg casually reveals she was using Lois's clothes as toilet paper.
      • Brian was the reason that Lois and Peter found out about Meg's boyfriend by spying on her. For most of the episode, he denies any responsibility, saying Society Is to Blame. Then Meg uses Brian in an accessory to attempted robbery, and he tries to apologize by reminding her that Luke is still waiting in prison. Meg says brusquely that she doesn't care about Luke anymore.
    • Zigzaggged in "Welcome Back Carter" has Carter and Babs break up because Peter blabbed that his father-in-law was having an affair. Carter decides to apologize; Babs says that she can't fully trust him again, but he can start earning her trust back.
    • "Love, Blactually" has Cleveland's ex-wife Loretta attempt to apologize and reconcile with him, after he's started a new relationship. They broke up because she cheated on him with Quagmire. Cleveland wishes her well, but firmly asserts they are not getting back together.
  • The Powerpuff Girls
    • In the Gone to the Future episode, the girls attempt to apologize on learning during their flying race they actually traveled thirty years into the future, leaving the city and "the day" unprotected. Their father is a husk who can't believe they're alive and young, while the deadened citizens try to attack them. The girls quickly use their super-speed to go back in time to undo this Bad Future.
    • Inverted in an episode where Buttercup bullies a kid she nicknames "Paste Eater", which leads to him becoming an uncontrollable paste monster. He starts lashing out at everyone, while demanding an apology from Buttercup. Buttercup, much to her sisters' consternation, refuses to do so on the grounds that he's attacking the teacher as well, who was trying to stop said bullying and tries to defeat him the old-fashioned way. Even when she's finally forced to give the apology, she is Gagging on Your Words. Only then does he stop and use his powers to repair the damage to the school.
  • Teen Titans
    • In "Nevermore", Robin encourages Beast Boy to apologize to Raven for upsetting her over breakfast. He tries, and for reasons he and Cyborg get trapped in Raven's mind mirror. When she realizes what they did and confronts them, Beast Boy finally apologizes. She ignores him because her angry self is on the attack.
    • "Forces of Nature" inverts this, where Beast Boy refuses to apologize for a prank that hit Starfire instead of Cyborg. Instead, he keeps making jokes. As a result, she refuses to talk to him. It takes Lightning and Thunder nearly burying her alive for Beast Boy to give an apology.
    • "Betrayal" has Slade out Terra to Beast Boy as his new apprentice, and that she left his friends to die in Titans Tower. Terra runs from the two fighting, collapses, and apologizes. Beast Boy asks, "Then why did you do it?" She says that she owed Slade for teaching her control of her powers; in response, Beast Boy turns his back on her. He regrets it later.
    • "Things Change" has Beast Boy toss mud at who he thinks is an amnesiac Terra, thinking it will trigger her powers. Instead, he splatters her in the face and she runs off before he can apologize. When he attempts to apologize the next day, she tells him bluntly that she is not Terra, only an ordinary schoolgirl.
  • One Tom and Jerry short has a piano fall on Tom while he's tormenting Jerry. The cat at the pearly white gates says that Tom can't get into heaven unless he has Jerry sign a certificate of forgiveness within an hour. Tom returns to life, frantic; he tries to offer a cake as an apology to Jerry, only for Jerry to eat the cake and spray pen ink in the cat's face. Faking the signature won't work because both the cat angels and dog demons are watching. When they both see the dog demon laughing as the clock ticks, Tom starts to beg and mimes his predicament, and Jerry is bewildered but signs the agreement. Unfortunately, Tom is too late and ends up in Hell... until he wakes up by the fire where a stray coal had burned him and realizes it was a dream. He not only sighs in relief but also knocks on Jerry's mouse hole, thanking him with kisses. Naturally, Jerry is confused, and ends the short shrugging at the camera. 
  • Total Drama Island has "drama" in the title for a reason.
    • While they were both at the resort for the eliminated contestants in season one, Harold reveals he tried to apologize to Courtney after rigging the votes and getting her knocked out of the competition, and admits it was immature of him to take out his frustration at Duncan and DJ on Duncan's Love Interest. Courtney spends the episode chasing him down, eventually wrapping a telephone pole around him. She says the only way he could make up for it is by voting for Duncan to win. Naturally, Harold refuses.
    • In an episode leading to the season one finale that has no eliminations except for "Mr. Coconut," the Companion Cube that Owen created, the final four contestants get stranded on a remote part of the island due to a freak flood. Heather cries on a confession cam when recapping the moment that Gwen and Duncan abandoned her in favor of sailing a raft to find civilization, after Duncan made an "every camper for themselves" credo, and apologized to Beth and Lindsay on-camera for using them to get her win. It didn't work; the followup special showed both girls refused to ally with Heather again.
    • Gwen and Courtney ended up trading this dynamic for a bit during and after season three. At first, Courtney was convinced that Duncan had a thing for Gwen; Gwen even told Courtney in season two that Duncan only had eyes for his girlfriend. Unfortunately, Courtney was proven right, and Duncan in season three kisses Gwen in front of the confession cam...and a shocked Tyler. Everyone finds out about Duncan's cheating next episode, and public opinion of Gwen becomes dismal. Gwen is truly apologetic when the truth comes out, because she considers Courtney a friend, and throws an elimination challenge that allows Courtney to stay. Courtney doesn't accept the apology until All-Stars where Gwen breaks up with Duncan for Courtney's sake and does a cathartic wrestling match with All-Stars. Then the roles get reversed in "Sunday Muddy Sundae" when Mal discovers that Courtney was going to throw a lot of her former competitors and now friends under the bus, including Gwen. Gwen isn't just upset about the betrayal but also about the principle of the matter, that in the end her atonement was All for Nothing.
  • W.I.T.C.H.
    • When Cedric in his human disguise tells Elyon who she really is and that her friends knew, she confronts them. Cornelia apologizes and says that she wanted to tell her. Elyon rejects the apology by protecting Cedric with her Power Incontinence before Will can expose his true form. It takes the season finale for Elyon to realize why they lied, and that her brother Phobos is a monster.
    • Much of season two has Caleb attempting to apologize to Cornelia for choosing to rebuild Meridian over building a relationship with her. Sure, he is right that deposing Phobos means a lot of reforms need to happen, and Queen Elyon needs an advisor. The issue Cornelia had was that he didn't consider that she was as important, and only came to Earth at Elyon's request. It takes until "F Is for Facade" for Caleb to realize that he should have communicated better, just as he finds out Cornelia is dating Taranee's older brother using her Guardian persona.
    • In "L is for Loser" when Irma humiliates Martin for serenading her on the school's new radio show. While she had a legitimate point that he was overstepping boundaries, yelling it without realizing the loudspeaker was on was overkill. She tries to apologize to him later at his house, but Martin points out that she's just feeling bad, and isn't really sorry. The next day, she goes on the loudspeaker again, willingly, and gives a public apology. He forgives her, and cools it on the flirting.
    • "M is for Mercy": Inverted when Nerissa uses her power boost to resurrect her lover and fellow Guardian Cassidy, planning to brainwash her for a new Guardians team. She expects, after giving a sincere apology, that Cassidy would have Unfinished Business and resentment about being unceremoniously murdered; all those negative feelings would allow her to take over Cassidy. However, Cassidy has forgiven Nerissa and says that she would rather stay dead. It doesn't help that Cassidy knows her girlfriend too well, that Nerissa would have an ulterior motive for resurrecting her.

Real Life

  • A parent may say to a child "Sorry isn't enough" to explain this lesson. The child may need a while to understand it, since we are taught to say sorry when making a mistake.
  • Radio host Don Imus once referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as "Nappy-headed hos". Note that the women were black, with "Nappy" being a racial slur. Imus made a public apology, but he was soon fired from the show. It didn't help that he said after, "And it was a straight-forward apology that Charles and I wrote. And I didn’t offer any I didn’t think it was necessary to offer any excuse, and I don’t think there is now. "
  • In her comic memoir Return to Society Punch!, Naoko Takeuchi recounted that everyone at Kodansha was so sorry because they lost several pages of her follow-up series PQ Angels, and they kept passing the buck. Needless to say, she did not accept their apologies. (This was before digital backups and scans.) To add insult to injury, she was pressured to do another long-form series after finishing Sailor Moon, despite begging for a break, and she was burned out from working all the time. Takeuchi got so fed up that she quit Kodansha, took a long-needed vacation for a year, and went to work for Shueisha instead.