Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking/Haiku

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Serial killer
Kicks cute animals for fun
And likes the Spice Girls

—Serenity Squid

He did WHAT you say?
Stole cars, beat up little kids,
and talks during films!


The Big Bad did what?
Destroyed the hero's hometown
And ate the last chip?

—Happy Duck

Wanted for mauling
Livestock, swindling old people,
And drinking my tea.


This guy killed fifteen
Million people and made
Me drink some V8.

—Crazy Luigi

You're an evil man!
You slaughtered fifty sheep and
Stole a mattress tag!


I confess that I
kicked your dog, wrecked your Wii and
Ate your gummy worms.


I know of that fiend.
'Ere treason and genocide,
He'd badmouth this site!


Killed twelve; ate the stiffs,
Gave P. E. T. A anthrax,
Can't bowl for his life.

—So We Ate Them's rap sheet in situ