Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking/Theatre

In The Importance of Being Earnest, Jack's list of reasons for not letting his ward Cecily marry Algernon starts off with Algernon having entered his home under false pretenses and tricked Cecily into believing that he was his brother Ernest and ends with Algernon's uncalled-for consumption of the muffins he had left out on a table.
Crimes Of The Heart: She began drinking and smoking when she was only 14, she hardly made good grades, why, she never even made her bed!
In the stage adaptation of Singin' in the Rain, Lina Lamont has a line that goes "I'm calling my agent! I'm calling my lawyer! I'm calling my mother!"
In "Whatcha Wanna Do?" from Bat Boy: The Musical, Shelley and her boyfriend are singing about the various things they'll do to the title character, ending with "We're gonna chain your arm to an atomic bomb. And make you take your granmama to the senior prom."
At the end of Guildenstern's Long List of Hamlet's "symptoms" in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead:

Guildenstern: "...stabbing his elders, abusing his parents, insulting his lover, and appearing hatless in public..."

Double Trouble the bobby arrests the Evil Twin for "Forgery, perjury, and with my very own eyes...I SAW YOU SPIT ON THE SIDEWALK!"
In the Jára Cimrman play Dlouhý, Široký a Krátkozraký the protagonists persuade the giant that a beautiful giantess is interested in him:

Giant: Why doesn't she come to meet me?
Prince: She's ashamed of you, because you eat people!
King: And don't wash your feet!

In The Physicists by Friedrich Dürrenmatt, the protagonist presents a pseudo-psalm by the ghost of Solomo about space travel:

Möbius: Even on Mars we were wolfed by the sun - Thundering, radioactive, yellow.