Ass Pull/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


"Here the story should really end, for, in real life, the forlorn old man would have little to look forward to but death. The author took pity on him and has provided a quite improbable epilogue."

—Only text displayed in the silent film The Last Laugh (Der letzte Mann).

Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
‍'‍Cause if we find we're in a bind,
We're totally screwed but never mind,
We'll pull something out of our behinds...
We just make some shit up

Voltaire, "The USS Make Shit Up"

There's Plot Convenience, there's Deus Ex Machina, and then there's just pulling stuff right out of your ass! THAT... CAN'T... HAPPEN!!! You can't just go filling plot holes with bullshit! I've had acid flashbacks who had more narrative coherence than this!

"Akiha...? What do you mean by Nee-san?"
"I mean Nee-san. Now that I think about it, I had a twin older sister...!"
"You had an older sister... that's a bit of a sudden statement."
Even though this is a parody, this is too much. It's no fun if you don't lay down any groundwork or foreshadowing.
"I don't care about that...!"

Kagetsu Tohya, ("Imogirisou")

We were invited to the island
All our friends were to be there
A party for the ages
Everyone without a care
But storm clouds came from nowhere...

Parry Gripp, "Me and You and Pikachu"

"A hawk summon, where did he get that?"

Madara, Naruto

"Think about it! What you've done is utterly ridiculous! And that's saying something in a world where people can make water dragons using sign language!"

Deaidara in this Naruto fan comic strip, about the infamous "Great Snake Escape".

Fake Kidnapper: Come on, get in the trunk!
George: What about my ankle monitor?
Fake Kidnapper: We have an ankle monitor deactivator!
George: Oh, good. See, I've been meaning to get one of those...


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