- "[I am] A warrior. Of the...Jarhead clan."
- Shortly afterwards: "Jarhead clan? And it worked?"
- Quaritch: (after destroying the Home Tree) Nice work, boys; first round's on me.
- More Quaritch, when he realizes that the Na'vi are attacking his gunship with bows and arrows.
Quaritch: Oh you gotta be kidding me.
- Jake: Neytiri calls me "skxawng". It means "moron".
- When asked how many hours he'd logged in the piloting simulator: "Zip, but I read a manual."
- Which is a callback to a similar CMoF in Aliens:
Ripley: How many drops is this for you, lieutenant?
Gorman: Thirty eight...simulated.
Vasquez: How many combat drops?
Gorman: Uh, two. Including this one.
Hudson: Oh, man...
Grace: "How much lab experience do you have?"
Jake: "I dissected a frog once."
- When first controlling his avatar, Jake's tail surprises him when he notices it over his shoulder. When he turns around to look for his tail, it knocks medical supplies off a table.
- This exchange between Grace and Sully while the latter is first entering his chamber:
Grace: "Just relax and let your mind go blank. That shouldn't be too hard for you."
Sully: "Kiss the darkest part of my lily-white (gets cut off)."
- For a serious character, Grace gets more of these than you'd expect:
- If you know any scientists, this line is hilarious. Grace is carried, mortally wounded and half-conscious, to the Tree of Souls that she had been wanting to research for years:
Grace: I need to get some samples...
- Grace's indignation at Jake not being experienced anywhere in science can be hilarious.
Grace: They're just pissing on us without even giving us the courtesy of calling it rain.
- Crowning Moment of Funny? Reportedly, Sam Worthington, Jake's actor, emailed Entertainment Weekly with his own ideas for a sequel:
Sam Worthington: Jake should have abused his avatar and be fat and unfit and demand Neytiri to get him a beer.*
- A hilarious moment from the deleted scenes of the collector's edition: Jake wakes up from his Avatar and goes looking for the others (Grace is outside) and he turns a corner, and Trudy and Norm appear to be in the middle of a lovemaking session. Then Jake's voice over crowns the funny "Norm's attitude has improved lately."
- An even more hilarious moment from the deleted scenes occurs during the meal at the campfire:
Jake: These rock. What are they?
Neytiri: You call [it] beetle larvae.
Jake: Well, that's some damn fine Teylu. Just like Grandma's Teylu.
- The Sturmbeest Hunt had this gem of an exchange:
Jake: Hell yeah!
Neytiri: (who has no idea what it means) Hell yeah!
- Parker Selfridge's reaction to being lectured by Grace (presumably for the umpteenth time) about having just bulldozed something holy is hilarious.
Grace: Those trees were sacred to the Omaticaya in a way you can't imagine.
Parker: Oh, you know what, you throw a stick in the air around here, it's gonna land on some sacred fern for Christ's sake!
- Likewise, Parkers retort to Graces lecture after bulldozing the Tree of Voices
Grace: That's more connections than the human brain. You get it? It's a network — a global network. And the Na'vi can access it — they can upload and download data — memories — at sites like the one you just destroyed.
Parker: What the HELL have you people been smoking out there? They're just goddamn trees!
- Jake convincing the Na'vi to teach him.
Moat: It is hard to fill a cup that is already full.
Jake: My cup is empty. Trust me.
- Back to Avatar (film)