Beating the Heat

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Beating the Heat is another My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic Fanfic by Andrew J. Talon, he of Progress fame, and co-written by The Sage of Toads and Friendly Uncle. Twilight Sparkle is acting a bit... off, and she's not the only one...

It can be found here, here, and here[1]. It used to be on Spacebattles before the authors received infractions from the mods. Not to be confused with SomeGuy's earlier My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic Fanfic Beating the Heat.


Tropes used in Beating the Heat include:

“You firm flanked financially foiling foal!"

In the midst of their lovemaking?! No matter the change in times, coitus interuptus is a grave offense!

    • Actually played straight when Zecora walks in on Pinkie and Braeburn while they're doing the deed.
  • Combat Tentacles: Utilized by Rarity when she ensnares Big Mac, made of cloth, ribbons, ropes, scissors and needles.
  • Crack Fic: In its most delectable form.
  • Crowd Panic:

"Huh? Okay, Rainbow Dash I can understand, but Fluttershy?" Spike asked incredulously. "How bad could Fluttershy in heat be?"
All conversation ceased. Spike blinked. Applejack facehoofed.
"Fluttershy... In heat...?" A magenta pony asked, dread in her voice. "RUN FOR THE HILLS! EVERYPONY FOR HERSELF!"'

  • Dangerously Genre Savvy: As to quote Neigh Gaiman: "That one (corner) over there, where we would theoretically be out of sight of all the other stallions in attendance?"
  • Dark Is Not Evil: Luna's Shadowbolts have been reformed, but they are a special ops force and definitely allied to the forces of good (their actions while in heat notwithstanding)
  • Deus Ex Machina: Averted and lampshaded.

"Maybe we should contact Princess Celestia," Spike said. "You know, to come in and fix everything for us?"
"We can't just call the Princess in for every little crisis!" Applejack said flatly.

“Con. Found. This. Door!” Rarity snarled as she continued to thrust her glowing horn rhythmically into the vault’s lock. “Open, curse you! Open! Your resistance only makes my horn harder!”

    • Later, she even asks for lube.
  • The Dreaded: Hilariously, Hornyshy is this.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: The Master is perfectly willing to capture, humiliate, and kill the Doctor, but still balks at the prospect of making him his and Trixie's sex slave.
  • Everypony Has Lots Of Sex: Mostly played with; everypony affected wants lots of sex, but in order to find and implement a solution the protagonists can't afford to give in to their urges and have to dodge the advances of other ponies as best they can, and those efforts drive much of the story's tension and humor. Ultimately played straight, though with a twist, when the solution is finally implemented.
  • Fan Nickname: One pony in particular has quickly gathered a few. Flutterwhore, Pornoshy, Flutterporn, Hornyshy, Sluttershy, Flutterlust take your pick.
  • Fast Pie Special: Braeburn and Pinkie Pie while fighting the Shadowbolt captain Nightshade.
  • Flat Joy: Fluttershy, characteristically, has this reaction when Big Mac promises to have sex with her
  • Frickin' Laser Beams: Averted with the Master's Laser Screwdriver, which does not have a visible beam... Contrary to the canon depiction. It also has heating issues just like a real laser would.
  • Genre Savvy: Pinkie Pie.
  • The Glomp: Used frequently.
  • Guile Hero: The Doctor.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Big Macintosh and Celestia... Sort of.
  • Heroic Willpower: How Big Macintosh is able to resist Fluttershy's advances. He slips occasionally.
  • Hilarity Ensues
  • Hot Scientist / Hot Librarian: Twilight Sparkle.
  • Hot Witch: Twilight and Trixie.
  • Idiot Hero: Soarin'.
  • The Immodest Orgasm
  • I Was Quite a Looker: Granny Smith was quite popular back in the day.
  • Jail Bait Wait: A rare Shotacon version; In the epilogue, Rarity makes it clear to Spike that as soon as he's old enough, she'll be waiting for him.
  • Jekyll and Hyde: Fluttershy's horny persona is much crueler and more selfish than how she is normally.
  • Kissing Cousins: Averted.
  • Last-Second Word Swap: By Zecora.

"Behold these ponies, without any class! A filly like that likes it in the-"
"Heeeeeyyyyy!"
"... grass."

Twilight: Sonic me again! Sonic me again~!

Trixie: "Whoah...The Great and Powerful Trixie Like."

"Duhduhduh," Dumb Bell added. At the curious looks he received from his companions, he shrugged.

    • The four pegasus stallions Celestia gets to deal with Rainbow Dash's heat are named Galland (After World War Two German ace pilot Adolf Galland), Thatch (For John Smith "Jimmy" Thach, US Navy pilot and inventor of the Thach Weave), Mustang (For the World War Two United States Army Air Force's definitive Cool Plane, as well as being an NCO who plans to become an officer), and Zero (The famous World War Two Imperial Japanese Navy Cool Plane).
      • Mustang quotes The Lonely Island song "3-Way".
        • Speaking of Mustang, he says the miniskirts line from Full Metal Alchemist.
      • It should also be noted that they have flown air combat over Wolfenstein.
    • "And... I'm spent."
    • From Chapter 8:

Rarity: And now she seeks to have all the stallions to herself, and therefore take over the world!
Pinkie Pie: OF COURSE!

“AAHHHH! EEEEYAHAHHH! OH SETH YESSSS!”

    • While the Master makes use of the Simms Master's laser screwdriver, the Doctor taunts him about copying the sonic screwdriver rather than using his signature weapon from before the revived series, the Tissue Compression Eliminator first used in "Terror of the Autons".
  • Smells Sexy: Any filly in heat to a male.
  • Squick: AJ's reaction to Granny Smith discussing her past.
  • Stable Time Loop: The Doctor is implied to have established this to maintain the events of his appearance in Call of the Cutie. He even got a cold to explain his changed voice. Also functions as a Call Back.
  • Stealth Pun: "Tart" is used as a slang term for a woman who Really Gets Around, like Granny Smith did in her youth. And what is her cutie mark? An apple tart.
  • Tempting Fate:

"Ah'd better get this resolved right quick," Applejack said aloud. "Twilight'll be able to sort this out."
After all, what were the odds she had been hit by heat too? That'd be about as ridiculous as Fluttershy getting hit, and then they'd be in real trouble...

  1. Keep in mind the Zetaboards forums version updates more often, albeit in scenes rather than chapters.