Better Off Ted/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • There's at least one per episode, but Veronica giving a deposition was just... wow for this troper who was raised by lawyers.

Lawyer: Can you describe your job?
Veronica: Yes.
Lawyer: * pause* How would you describe your job?
Veronica: Cleverly.

    • Also from that episode, Dr. Bamber's Seuss-ish rhyming during the scapegoat conference.

Bamber: I am a drug addict. Oh, how I love the drugs. I will take them in my house, I will take them with a mouse...
Veronica: With a mouse, people! Now that's rock bottom!

  • "And so Veronica made the computer think that ninety-three employees shoved themselves into a small backpack and launched themselves into space."
  • This outtakes video (warning: NSFW) from "The Impertence of Communicationizing" shows the cast rivaling The Aristocrats in the creative cursing department. Sometimes, no matter how hard you bundle it, crap just can't make it past the radar.
    • Arguably, the entire actual episode itself. The highlights are definitely Phil and Lem taking their insult-generating formula out for a spin and the titles they put on their put-downs:

(for an insult coming from Lem) "Pow, you've just been Lembasted!"
(for an insult coming from their formula) "Pow, you've just been Philibustered!"
(for an insult coming from Ted, of all people) "...Pow, we've just been Teducated."

  • The presentation in the episode Jabberwocky, where Veronica and Ted presents a project without a product.

Veronica: Products are for people who don't have presentations!
(taking her cues from the powerpoint Ted put together)Veronica: Faster than a cheetah! More powerful than... another cheetah!

  • In the episode "Jenkins", this exchange at the funeral:

Veronica: We would like to extend our most heartfelt condolences about Carl.
Ted: (correcting her to the side) Gordon.
Veronica: Carl Gordon.
Ted: Jenkins.
Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins.
Ted: Gordon Jenkins!
Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins Gordon Jenkins.
Ted: (About to correct her; decides against it)

  • While high, Linda decided to confront her neighbour's baby about its constant crying. Then she stole it, named it Ted, and tried to claim it for her own by writing her name on it.
  • There is also Veronica's constant comments about buisness:

Veronica: Money before people Ted, it's the company motto, written right on the lobby floor. It just looks so much more heroic in Latin.

  • Dr. Bamber naming his bio-computer "Johnny" just to set up a joke later where Ted mentions that:

"The offices were still empty due to the goo coming out of Dr. Bamer's Johnny."

    • Which somehow got past the censors.