Big Wolf on Campus/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • "I'm chunky and funky! It's the new Merton!"
    • "What'd you do? Eat the old Merton?"
  • Also, Lori's rather, erm, interesting rendition of "Oh Holy Night".
  • "Bat....Bat....A lonely boy, who failed to please his demanding father at every turn." "Oh, sorry, that one was upside down". "Bat..."
  • "It's Vince, in the cafeteria...WITH THE SPORK!"
  • "You can't 'blah, blah, blah' the Bible!"
  • This hilarious exchange-

Tommy: From ground to air, and air to ground, the wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and round. ROUND AND ROUND! The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Merton: (To Lori. Deadpan.) Been nice knowin' ya.....

  • "Do you really think Michael Jackson VS Darth Vader is a fair fight?"
  • Merton repeatedl shouting "Wrestling isn't real!" while being utterly thrashed by a demonic pro-wrestler.
  • "Ok...buried alive...no need to panic..." (Beat) "HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!"
  • Tommy's attempts to help Lori relax before doing in oral report at school.

Tommy: The trick is to picture yourself...naked.
Lori: Tommy, you're supposed to picture everyone else naked.

    • And, in that same episode, Merton (unknowingly) playing with a bunch of Voodoo Dolls causing Tommy to start breakdancing during said report.
  • This exchange-

Merton: I'm invisible, my head's in a bag, and I'm totally NAKED!

Tommy: Naked?

Merton: The spell doesn't turn clothes invisible, only people. Do you really want to be followed by a pair of haunted underpants?

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