Blessed with Suck/Web Original

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Quite a number of characters in the Whateley Universe. Power Incontinence is more common in the Whateley Universe than in other superhero universes -- as are Body Horror side effects of powers. So you might gain the Most Common Superpower -- but at the same time, you might shift into a Half-Human Hybrid, something out of a horror movie, or a perfectly ordinary human -- of the wrong gender. You might gain some sorta standard superpower... but be missing the Required Secondary Powers.
    • The titular school has an entire residence set aside for students whose powers make them dangers to themselves or others, such as the most powerful psychic in the world -- who looks like something Lovecraft would have thought up during an absinthe bender. Or maybe the kids who constantly emit toxins, or Love Potions, or radiation. Or how about the cute little girl who has so much Super Strength that she could probably juggle the hulk -- but can't control it at all, meaning a casual hug could destroy steel. And that's assuming they even survive long enough to have their powers start to suck -- "Burnout," fatal or near fatal side effects of superpower use, is common enough that it's a constant threat even for fully grown, trained mutants.
    • There's also the societal drawbacks -- the Anti-Mutant version of the KKK in the Whateley Universe are Villains With Good Publicity, and while there's no internment camps for mutants (yet) they are required to register with the government -- did we mention the government body that handles mutant registration is corrupt, has been infiltrated by the aforementioned KKK-alike types, and generally not a nice group of people to be around? There are other problems, as well -- mutants tend to have "tells" such as really weird eye color (violet, red, etc) which means even the most normal looking of them can be found out. Ultimately, even if they look normal, have no side effects, and all their Required Secondary Powers... mutants rarely are allowed to have a normal life.
  • Craig, on the The Allen and Craig Show has the uncanny ability to throw up whenever he sees or talks to a girl. He attempts to supress it, but ultimately it rules his life.
  • According to Word of God, Anni of Coyle Command has such amazing abilities as...Poor Eyesight and Extra Pain Sensetivity.
  • Flander's Company: A French webseries with lots of peopled blessed with suck: A man working at the NASA, who was cleaning a room when a jet blew above his head, who got cybernetics limbs, which enable him to... Move at slow motion. An other, who has the ability to censor the eyes of people in real life like it is done for many videos on the internet, and another who can, while dancing tecktonik, make others follow his moves.
  • Doodieman. Just... Doodieman. Seriously, a guy who has a superpower revolving entirely around his fantastic ability to crap out amazing amounts of crap. His turds can leave his anus with enough momentum that he overcomes the force of gravity and flies. He stops robbers by aiming and firing small turds, keeps a guy from shooting by burying him with a giant turd, shoots turds with enough force to keep a car from falling off a cliff, and stops up a dam. Not everyone he saves is pleased with this.
  • Tez from Unexpected Diversions. He's an elf that is invisible to the God of Death, who can niether see him nor seems aware that he exists, despite being the oldest living thing on the planet by about 350,000 years. Which sounds great except when he goes mad from boredom, or is injured or tortured horribly, and the universe seems warp reality to the point where he can't even commit suicide.
  • Dr. Horrible's henchman Moist has the amazing power to, well, make things moist. His prequel comic reveals it was caused by a plutonium-powered humidifier accidentally making him, essentially, permanently extremely sweaty.
  • "Tree powers, activate!"
  • Phelous, resident Meta Guy at That Guy With The Glasses is unkillable. That is to say, he dies all the time, but comes back. The downside? He dies all the time. And comes back...to watch crappy horror movies which have left him pretty deranged.
  • Brendon McKellar in The End receives visions of every nasty break-up and death of a loved one he will ever experience and can't do anything to change the events he sees.
  • A Healing Factor is portrayed as undesirable in Cracked.com's 6 Awesome Superpowers (That Would Suck in Real Life) because the intense pain would lead to post-traumatic stress disorder.
  • Similarly, ScreenRant's 10 Superheroes Whose Powers Would Suck To Have In Real Life examines 10 very common powers and explains how they could be less than pleasant to actually possess.
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