Books of Samuel/Characters

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Eli

  • Curse: Through the wickedness of his sons, Eli lost favor with God and it was prophesied that all men in his family will be ruined. The priests of Nob, most were his relatives, were killed by Saul and his youngest son Abiathar, David's high priest, was exiled by Solomon for supporting a rival to the throne.
  • Death by Falling Over: After hearing of his sons' death, he fell from his chair and broke his neck. To be fair, he was already very old.

Samuel

The Lord called Samuel: and he answered, "Here am I".

Saul

"For rejecting The Lord's command, He has rejected you as king!"

Jonathan

"Your love was greater than that of a woman's!"

David

And David danced before the Lord with all his might.

  • Antagonist in Mourning:
    • David's the protagonist, but when his opponent Saul dies he still goes further than most in mourning a man bent on killing him.
    • He wept hard for Absalom too. It's understandable though, as he was his son.
  • The Atoner:
    • Fasts and prays following God's judgment on him for his adultery and subsequent Uriah Gambit to cover it up; as a result, his life and kingdom are spared but he and Bathsheba lose their first, newborn child and the rest of David's family life is extremely troubled.
    • Also many passages within the Psalms attributed to him are quite repentant.
  • Badass Israeli: The original. Note: The "Star of David" is the frame of his shield.
  • Balanced Harem: Had one of these. (It's good the be the king!) It's still not enough to stop his cheating heart, though.
  • Big Screwed-Up Family
  • Break the Cutie: In his last days, he is described as "no longer feeling warmth". A stark contrast to the happy well-adjusted shepherd boy he once was.
  • Curb Stomp Battle: Brought a gun to a swordfight (metaphorically), then cut Goliath's head off with Goliath's own sword.
  • David Versus Goliath: The Trope Maker.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: He had several wives (Michal and Bathsheba being just two of them) as well as Ho Yay with Jonathan.
  • Heroic BSOD:
    • What he suffers when told that Jonathan and Saul kicked it. Self-inflicted Clothing Damage included.
    • He gets another one after the death of Abasalom followed by a What the Hell, Hero? Speech from one of his generals for mourning his enemy and hating the men who fought for him.
  • Humble Hero
  • Intimate Healing: When David was old, he could not get warm, so they got a young girl to care for him, which included snuggling up besides him. Oddly, their relationship was not sexual.
  • Kick the Dog:
    • See The Uriah Gambit.
    • Not punishing Amnon for raping his half-sister Tamar. Some texts say he didn't because he was the firstborn.
  • Manly Tears: He was a formidable warrior who cried quite a lot.
  • Murder the Hypotenuse: The hypotenuse being poor Uriah.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Very narrowly averted; The only thing that stopped David from wiping out Nabal's entire house when he insulted him was quick thinking on Abigail's part. David snaps out of it and thanks God that he was prevented from having such blood guilt on his hands.
  • My Greatest Failure: The whole Bathsheba incident.
  • Obfuscating Insanity: Did this while in exile before he was crowned king, when the King of Gath (Goliath's hometown) recognized him as an anti-Philistine guerrilla warrior.
  • Offered the Crown: Again, he's King David
  • Polyamory: Michal and Bathsheba were just the start; he had eight total plus concubines.
  • The Purge: Killed all the men in Saul's family (except Jonathan's son) eligible for succession and even forced Saul's daughter Michal to marry him again to force an alliance with the former royal family. His last wishes (textually, if not chronologically) were for Solomon were to kill Joab and Shimei, steward of the house of Saul.
  • Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner: 1 Samuel, 17:46. "This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands, and I will strike you down and remove your head from you...!".
  • Pretty Boy: "And when the Philistine looked about, and saw David, he disdained him; for he was but a youth, and ruddy, and withal of a fair countenance."
  • Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: His "Mighty Men" who were mercenaries and outlaws who joined him during his years as a fugitive.
  • Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: David had the men who killed Ishbal (Saul's heir apparent) executed.
  • Rightful King Returns: Part of the conditions for the Jewish Messiah is being of his bloodline. Given David is estimated to have lived 3000 years ago, had something like 18 wives and concubines, and one of his sons had somewhere around 1000, that's a good chunk of the population, or no-one at all.
  • She Is Not My Girlfriend: David had a young girl as a ward in his old age who everyone thought was a concubine. One of his sons even asked to marry her, perhaps to subtly lay a claim to the throne. David always denied any claims of her being more than his nurse of sorts.
  • Suffer the Slings: Goliath found out the hard way just how deadly they can be.
  • Trope Namer: With Goliath.
  • Two-Hundred Philistine Foreskins: Although he only needed to bring back 100.
  • The Uriah Gambit: Trope Namer, though Saul tried to pull it on him first with the Philistine Foreskins bit.
  • Warrior Poet: Quite literally. Kicks ass, writes poems, dances with his people. He's even got a nickname, "The Sweet Psalmist of Israel"
  • What the Hell, Hero?: After the above incident with Uriah, Nathan explicitly call him on this. He repents, but it's too late, at least for his first child with Bathsheba.
  • Youngest Child Wins: Youngest of 8.

Abigail, Wife of David

When Abigail caught sight of David, she at once hastened and got down off the ass and fell upon her face before David and bowed to the earth. She then fell at his feet and said: “Upon me myself, O my lord, be the error; and, please, let your slave girl speak in your ears"

  • Beauty Equals Goodness
  • Guile Heroine
  • Humble Hero
  • Shaming the Mob: After her husband Nabal insulted David, David led a couple hundred men back to him, intending to wipe out his entire household. Abigail placates him with gifts of food and a heartfelt speech.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife:
    • Nabal, Abigail's first husband, is certainly ugly... at least in personality, though Abigail's beauty is specifically stated.
    • Averted with her second husband David. He was quite handsome.
  • Yamato Nadeshiko

Nabal

"Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Servants have been leaving their masters more and more these days."

Goliath

"Am I a dog, that thou comest to me with staves?"

Absalom

"If I had only been a judge, then this land would have justice".

Tamar, princess of Israel

And she lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman.

Joab

Uriah

Bathseba

Abner

  1. and cutting off his head while he was stunned