Brain Bleach/Live-Action TV/Mystery Science Theater 3000

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Mystery Science Theater 3000 is rife with aghast reactions to events on the screen. Examples include:

Tom: I'm being punished for something, I know it. What did I do? I DIDN'T ASK TO SEE THIS MOVIE!

Crow: Mike, I'm going to ask you to kill me now... Mike, please kill me.

Crow: How can we make a sketch when we have to watch...uh...uh...uh...MANOS! THE HANDS OF FATE...

Tom: Mike, if I run out of vomit can I have some of yours?

Crow: To be dead...To be nothing...To watch Neptune Men no more...

Crow: [mocking the narration] There was no dignity for anyone who worked on this film!

  • "Robot Rumpus", a Gumby cartoon short preceding The Screaming Skull, after the Bots seeing a robot's head hung on a wall:

Crow: Now I need years of powerful Adlerian therapy.
Tom: They hung his head! This is worse than Seven.

Servo: Smolkin's naked sometimes, Mike.
Mike: (cringing) Damn you, Servo!

  • There's also Mike and the 'Bots' cries of horror whenever the camera pans down during Prince of Space, revealing that the Chicken-Men of Krankor are going commando.

Mike: (disgusted) What gets into some civilizations?!

  • And during the sex scene between Linda Evans (yay!) and Joe Don Baker (oh sweet merciful Bahamut) in Mitchell:

Joel: BABY OIL?! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Hoyt Axton: (singing the background music) My, my, my, my, Mitchell...
Crow: My, my, my, my GOD no!!

    • The sequence begins with a bizarre shot of a bulge slowly sliding down the inside of Joe Don Baker's trouser leg. It turns out to be his snubnosed Colt revolver, but for a second...
      • Even worse, the implication in context is that it was dislodged by Joe Don Baker's...no.
  • Attack Of The The Eye Creatures. The final scene with the the Covert Pervert Scrappy Military Officers:

Tom: Joel, I demand you take my head off.

  • Soultaker. Robert Z'Dar's crotch is thrust in Crow's face.

Crow: Wh-wha-WHOA! That took my soul, right there!

Servo: I don't know how, but I just became sterile!
Mike: (utterly defeated) Oh my, what a...what a handsome man.

    • Making matters worse, Dan then chases his nubile niece around a table threatening to spank her.

Mike: Aaaaand the movie ramps up the repulsion.
Crow: Yeah. This movie hates us, doesn't it?

Crow: This is supposed to be an epicac, right?

  • The Sinister Urge, written by Ed Wood, featured a scene in which porn director Johnny Ride gave mannish porn mogul Gloria Henderson a long kiss.

Servo: Please, Mike, cover my eyes.
Crow: That's it. I'm gonna be a monk.
(Crow and Servo make gagging noises as they kiss.)

Crow: Now, wait a minute -- how did she turn into a bat? The only contact she had with him was in the hotel, and... [long, awkward pause] ...Oh my God.
Tom: Gahh!
Crow: Oh my God! I get the shower first!
Tom: No, me first!
Mike: Urgh.

    • Not all the examples come from the experiments. One host segment of Bride of the Monster featured Tom Servo dressed in a nurse's outfit while Joel used an invention to see what Crow was dreaming of: a sexual fantasy with Tom dressed in the same nurse's outfit. Tom's reaction was identical to VanDorn's in Hardcore.

Servo: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!!!

    • A similar occurrence happened when Mike decided to contact the Mads without permission, resulting in them stumbling into a disturbingly domestic, loving scene that left Mike, Crow, and Servo with their mouths widely agape.

Mike: So...we can contact the Mads when we like...but...I don't think I'm going to do that anymore.

Crow: Part of me will never be back. Part of me is gone forever.

      • The tradition continues on in Riff Trax.
        • For example, in the Riff Trax of Attack of the Clones, Kevin tells Mike during the Greasy Spoon scene regarding slovenly cook Dexter, "Mike, I invite you to think about his underpants." Mike understandably reacts in horror: "Why, Kevin?!" Kevin subverts the trope by telling him that so long as he's thinking about Dexter's underpants, he's forgetting the rest of the movie. Mike's response. "[sigh of relief] You're right. Ah, his underpants..."
  • Special Mention goes to Child Bride. When watching this movie, the producers decided that they would never use it in their show. There's a hilarious moment in one interview.

Kevin: "I remember now that hillbilly... teenage..."
Mike: "Oh, no!"
Kevin: "I don't want to tell the name, because some of you freaks out there will try to find that film. And that's just wrong! I don't remember how we got it, but we got it out of the place as fast as possible. It was about child brides, and it was..."
Mike: "That should give you a clue about the title."
Kevin: "Stop! Psshh! Psshh!"
Kevin: "And it was all said in crackabill, like they actually hired people who lived there rather than actors. And I had a good cry after that one. And then a shower."
Mike: "You should take a shower right after that."

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