Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Recap/S2/E07 Lie to Me/Quotes

"My mummy used to sing me to sleep at night. 'Run and catch, The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.' She had the sweetest voice. What will your mummy sing when they find your body?"

—Drusilla to James

"I don't see why everyone picks on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed..."

"I think you mean oppressed."
—Cordelia and Xander

Willow: So, you two were sweeties in fifth grade?
Buffy: Not even. Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.
Ford: Well, I was a manly sixth-grader. I couldn't bother with someone that young.

Buffy: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room, listening to that Divinyls song "I Touch Myself". (off everyone's looks) Of course, I had no idea what it was about.

Buffy: We're going to the Bronze. It's the local club, and you have to come.
Ford: I'd love to, but if you guys already had plans... Would I be imposing?
Xander: Oh, only in the literal sense.

(as Buffy) "'This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends!' (as himself) Jeez, doesn't she know any fat guys?"

—Xander

(wearing a colorful striped shirt) "Boy, we blend right in."

In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs."—Willow and Xander

"But do they really stick out?"
"What?"
"Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow! That baby is sore!'"

"You have too many thoughts."—Willow and Xander

"This is so cool! I would totally live here."

"Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people! Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?"—Ford and Spike

"I want to be one of you. A vampire."

"I've known you for two minutes and I can barely stand you, I don't really feature you living forever."—Ford and Spike

"I've got something to offer you. (Beat) This Is the Part Where you pull out a pocket watch and say, "You've got thirty seconds to convince me not to kill you." It's traditional."

"Yeah, well, I'm not much of one for tradition. (to Drusilla) Can I eat him now, pet?"—Ford and Spike

"He leaves no paper trail, no records, that's incriminating enough."
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."

"Could you not call me that?"—Angel and Xander

"I'm sorry, Ford. I just couldn't wait 'till tonight! I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw."

(unfazed) "We all have flaws."

"I'm still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it has to do with being a lying scumbag."—Buffy and Ford

""This is a beautiful day. Can't you see that?"

"What I see is that right after the sun goes down, Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar."—Chantarelle and Buffy

"I am trying to save you! You are playing in some serious traffic here, do you understand that? You're going to die! And the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and, MY GOD, could you have a dorkier outfit?"

"Gotta side with her on this one, D. You look like a big ninny."—Buffy and Ford

"Well, I've got a news flash for you, braintrust: that's not how it works. You You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it's not you."

—Buffy:

"Ford, these people don't deserve to die!"

"Well, NEITHER DO I! But apparently no one took that into consideration, because I'm still dying. (Buffy's speechless) I look good, don't I? Well, let me tell you something. I've got maybe six months left, and by then, what they bury won't even look like me. It'll be bald, and shriveled, and it'll smell bad. No, I'm not going out that way. I'm sorry, Summers! Did I screw up your righteous anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?"—Buffy and Ford

"These people are sheep. They want to be vampires because they're lonely, miserable or bored. I don't have a choice."

—Ford

"Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It's just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get."

"I believe that's called growing up."

"I'd like to stop then, okay?"—Buffy and Giles

"Does it ever get easy?"

"You mean life?"

"Yeah. Does it get easy?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Lie to me."

"Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day! No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

"Liar."—Buffy and Giles

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