CSI: Crime Scene Investigation/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Jim Brass' face as he closes his phone in "Ending Happy" after finding out that the third consecutive person he's gotten to confess is not in fact the murderer.
    • In fact, "Ending Happy" is this through and through.
  • Gil's face, and now-legendary response to a gang-banger carjacking a couple's Humvee to run over a man's taco stand and inadvertently going the wrong way on a one way street, causing him to run over a car instead just because the man wouldn't let said gang-banger rob him: "I think this is the dumbest thing we've ever heard."
    • The whole Epic Fail attempt by the gang-bangers to rob the taco man arguably also counts as both a Crowning Moment of Awesome and a Crowning Moment of Funny at the same time. The gang-bangers pull out their knives and threaten the taco man, who's not impressed. He stabs one of them with a carving knife and whacks the other one in the face with a pan of hot grease, causing them to run away. When Grissom asks the taco man why he didn't report it to the police, the taco man replies that the police have enough things to do, and this incident wasn't even worth bothering them.
    • Similarly, we have Catherine's reaction to what happened to the wrinkled-skin guy in "73 Seconds." The victim's friend, a rural gas station owner, explains that the victim was gored by a deer the two were trying to dress, only to have it turn out Not Quite Dead. He then tries to clean out the wound with a high-pressure air hose, but the nozzle gets stuck and, well, he inflates himself to death. The gas station owner dumped the body because having a corpse around would be bad for business, and besides the deer that started the whole mess was out of season. The Flat What expression on Catherine's face as she hears this litany of common sense fail is priceless.
  • David's disbelieving response upon finding a rubber chicken stuffed down a dead woman's throat and Grissom not immediately making his typical cut-to-opening-sequence pun: "Come on, you've gotta say something. I suspect fowl play? That's poultry evidence?"
    • Grissom's response? "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."
  • The poor sap stuck waist deep in the cement, and the fact that Catherine can't stop cracking up at the situation, despite trying her damnedest to keep it in.
    • Hell, this was pretty much a Crowning Episode of Funny. That guy was Epic Fail incarnate.
    • The horrible hilarity, condensed.
  • Hodges' "Lab Rats" board game experiment in the episode You Kill Me, and the scenario in which he's the victim. In his imagination, the reaction of everyone as they watch his "murder." 02:42.
    • Also, the culmination of the Running Gag of Bobby being set up as the "killer".
    • Or the autopsy Running Gag, brought to its logical and hilarious conclusion when Hodges is the victim:

Doc Robbins: "...get it out of your system."
David: (giggling like an idiot) "No sign of sexual traum--"
Robbins: "OUT!!"

    • Just the parts with Grissom, David, Doc Robbins, and the rat in the morgue and the hazmat suits makes this troper keel over with laughter.
  • "Unfriendly Skies": Grissom and Sara discover semen in an airplane restroom, leading to a conversation about the Mile High Club.

Grissom: You know high altitude enhances the whole sexual experience, increases the euphoria.
Sara: Well, it's good...I don't know if it's that good. Cite your source.
Grissom: Hand me a swab please.
Sara: You're avoiding the question, "enhances sexual experience, increases euphoria" cite your source.
Grissom: A magazine.
Sara: What magazine?
Grissom: Applied Psychodynamics in Forensic Science.
Sara: Never heard of it.
Grissom: I'll get you a subscription. Now cite your source.
Sara: Oh, now you want to go down that route?
Grissom: Yeah.
Sara: Nah, never mind.
Grissom: You started it.
Sara: Delta airlines, flight 1109, Boston- Miami, March 93, Ken Fuller, hazel eyes, organic chem lab TA BMOC, overrated, in every aspect. Could we get back to work please?

  • The third-season episode The Last Laugh had Jim Brass reopen the case of a woman who had apparently accidentally drowned in her bathtub, leading the husband to claim a $750,000 life insurance policy. With the help of Nick and Sara, Brass finds a number of holes in the husband's story, enough to prove that she didn't drown accidentally but not enough to charge the husband with his wife's death. The husband and his lawyer are smugly walking out of police headquarters when they see the husband's Ferrari being towed away.

Husband: Hey, hey that's my car! What are you...what the hell's going on?
Lawyer: (to Brass): This is harassment.
Brass: We don't have enough to file charges, but the insurance company feels they've got more than enough.
Nick: Civil charges.
Brass: Translated: They want their cheese back, man! They want their $750K!
Husband: They can just take my car?
Brass: For starters, yeah.
Nick: This isn't the end of our criminal investigation, George. It's just the beginning.
Brass: That's present tense.

  • Brass questioning a man for what seems like a standard murder. Cut to the morgue with a female deer on the autopsy table in a cocktail dress. And Doc Robins taking pictures for his scrapbook.
  • The episode "Wild Life." In the case where a couple is mysteriously killed in their home, the culprits turn out to be the parrot and cat they owned. Brass' expressions during the whole Necro Cam are priceless.
  • Justin Bieber gets shot and killed. Not much else that one can say about that.
  • The third season episode Fight Night begins with a boxer's death. When Grissom comes to investigate, he begins to make his famous episode intoducing one liner bofore the opening begins. The cutaway music begins to play, only for Grissom to get a call that he's needed elsewhere. The music stops (with a sound effect, I might add), and for a second, Grissom looks slightly confused and almost disappointed that he couldn't make his one liner. He doesn't get to start the opening theme with a one liner until two crime scenes later.
  • The entirety of the episode where Nick, Greg and Hodges try to take Henry out for a nice barbecue dinner for his birthday. It starts with Nick flipping the car on the way, leaving all four of them walking wounded, and Henry's evening just gets worse from there. No wonder the poor guy hates his birthdays.
  • Everything involving Hodges and the dinosaurs from "Cold Blooded", including inspecting the dinosaurs and playing with them, to Langston finding out that Hodges called out sick... only for Langston to look over at Hodges posing with one of the dinosaurs for a picture and grinning like a fool.
  • The episode where Brass, Willows and Grissom first meet Lady Heather. Their expressions when they realize what sort of place, exactly, they've walked into are priceless, epecially the two men. Catherine starts to crack up, even.
  • The titular crime in "Stealing Home" manages to cross the line twice. The entire damn house is gone. Somehow.
    • The house was eventually found, with a guy, complete with red shoes, stuck under it. The dialogue made this scene.

"They're a man's legs."
"It's not Debbie Hicks."
"I have a feeling that we're not in Kansas anymore."

  • The episode "Poppin' Tags" features Dollar, an in-universe rap star who was assaulted, forced into women's lingerie (for the entire Internet to see), shot, and stuffed in a trunk in the...well, trunk of his own car. When Jim and Nick find him and offer to get him out of there to get medical attention, his response is classic.

Dollar: "What are you, crazy, man!? All these people around? THE PRESS!? Naw, lemme know when we get to the hospital, man! *slams lid of the box he's in shut.*
Brass: *beat* Y'know, he's got a point.

Retrieved from "https://allthetropes.org/wiki/CSI:_Crime_Scene_Investigation/Funny?oldid=1737144"