Calvin and Hobbes: The Series/Medium Awareness

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


"Blah, blah, blah! This is the most boring part of the episode! Hero defeats villain, and villain threatens to come back, more powerful than ever! We've heard it all before, Charlie!"

"We sure get some dramatic writers for this show."

  • In "The Return of Dr. Brainstorm", after the titular character reveals he's kidnapped Calvin's parents:

Calvin: Man, how many times in this show are my parents getting into trouble?
Hobbes: Well, there was the camping episode, then there was the mountain episode...

  • Hobbes pulls down the end card at Calvin's request in "Chaos to My Ears".
  • He also says "Fade out" to end "Wild Movie".
  • After Calvin pulls out the Time Pauser in "The Insane Road Trip":

Hobbes: Can't we go through one episode without using one of your death trap creations?
Calvin: Sure. We went through Episode 1 without my inventions.
Hobbes: That was the pilot episode. And it stunk too.

  • Upon finding out that he's staying at the Derkins' house in "A Club's Blow":

Calvin: (having spent most of the way there complaining about Roselyn) "On second thought, Rosalyn's only appeared in one episode during this entire show. Let's bring her back!"

Socrates: (after finding out that two villains had teamed up) "Who teamed up? Rupert Chill and Dr. Brainstorm?"
Calvin: No, we're saving that for next season.

  • From "CALVIN FOR PRESIDENT!":

Hobbes: Calvin, just out of curiosity, when did we pick politics up in this TV show?
Calvin: What are you talking about? I'm not doing anything political.
Hobbes: Oh, never mind. I must have slipped into a different cartoon for a second there.

  • Calvin briefly warns Hobbes of the censors in "Roughin' It".
  • After the particularly action-packed opening of "Dr. Brain Chill":

[Calvin looks around the room]
Hobbes: What is it, Calvin?
Calvin: Oh nothing. I just feel like we just missed out on a big action sequence for some reason.

    • And shortly afterwards:

Socrates: Calvin! Hobbes! Camera that likes zooming in and out of things!

      • And later still:

Jack: Faster than the speed of light, huh? When did this show move to the Syfy?

  • "Department Store Horrors":

Dr. Brainstorm: (berating Jack for blowing their cover) Here I am being a creepy burglar and keeping the audience in the dark about who I am, and then YOU walk up and ruin everything!
Jack: I think the audience has long since figured it out, Frank.

  • "RIP Calvin":

Calvin: (on meeting their future selves) That's not possible. Those people are adults. Looks like our show has been spliced in with Star Trek or something.

  • From "Pranking the Ghosts":

Calvin: Whatever is in there doesn't want us up there! The nerve of him! He's wiping out a perfectly good suspense scene!

    • Later on:

Calvin: (talking to a ghost) OK, this is really starting to get frustrating! Here we are stretching this story out, so you can be creepy and weird. SHOW YOURSELF!

  • From "The Five Calvins":

Socrates: Uh, did I miss something?
Stupendous Man: Yes. You've missed several things since this special began. Now, let's go.

Socrates: So, where's Target, today, I mean... Calvin?
Hobbes: Oh, well he's up in his room, trying to fix the MTM. Remember, we had a pretty intense TV movie a while ago, and it ended with the MTM's hologram software blowing up.

    • Later, part of Dr. Brainstorm's plan to steal the MTM includes waiting for night to fall just for drama.
  • "New Year, New Disasters":

Hobbes: Say, Calvin, why don't you talk to Elliot?
Calvin: What?
Hobbes: Well, why not? It might add some interest to the episode.
Calvin: Well, what am I supposed to say to the guy? I hate his tiger!

Hobbes: Hmm, good point. Well, at least go say hi to him. See if you can get one line of dialogue out of him.

    • And later, after Calvin fails to get a good look at him:

Hobbes: Oh, nonsense. Nobody is that elusive.
Calvin: Well, he's managed to get through two and a half seasons without being introduced. He was even able to conceal his name until mid-season two.

  • "Electronic Invasion":

Calvin: (upon several buzzers going off) ACK! WE GOT MOVIE SIGN!

Hobbes: Wrong show.

  • "A Day in Your Shoes":

Jacqueline: Yeah, I think this chain of attacks should end soon. Otherwise, we'll have to rename the show Dr Brainstorm and Friends.

  • "Attack of the Monsters":

Calvin: Yeah right, and we've been getting "your" and "you're" switched on this show all the time as well. [1]

  • "The Genius Hamster":

Holographic Retro: OK, I'm not even going to ask how you managed to survive that.
Calvin: Yeah, these episodes can get really confusing for you, can't they!

  • "Pharaoh Andrew":

Socrates: (trying to find Andy) Well, [he] was never the talkative one. Admittedly, he's gotten better this season, but...

    • Later:

MTM: (talking about the mummies that are after them) I'd worry more about the dead people, because if they managed to get out of the pyramid, we'd have one weird action scene.

    • And later still:

Calvin: Oh, it's one of these episodes again.

  • "Thunderstorm":

Jack: (on Thunderstorm) It's a long story and should probably be done with a flashback...

    • And later:

Dr. Brainstorm: (on Jack's left arm being loose) I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW IT DOESN'T! JACK IS EQUIPPED WITH AUTO-REPAIR NANOTECHNOLOGY NOW! THAT ARM IS ON THERE FOR GOOD! WE HAVEN'T EVEN USED THAT GAG SINCE OUR FIRST APPEARANCE ON THE SHOW!


Back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series

  1. Yes, that was a re-occurring problem.