Can-Crushing Cranium

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Crushing a can of beer or soda with your forehead.

Often starts by a drunken man wanting to show how tough he is, and hey, he just HAPPENS to have an empty beer-can in his hand...

Sometimes it's a macho thing, and sometimes it's Played for Laughs.

The most frequent variation involves the can being full, with resulting cranial trauma.

In Real Life this could result in a concussion, especially if done with a full can.

Compare Beergasm, Rockers Smash Guitars.

Contrast I'm Crushing Your Head.

Examples of Can-Crushing Cranium include:

Advertising

Eddie Griffin: Cans ain't as thick as they once were. I mean, back in the day, you crushed a can against your forehead, you were saying something. But now ...
Burt Reynolds: Lame.

    • Head crushing was the subject of a Miller Lite commercial back in the late 80s. Former Bears safety Gary Fencik did the crushing while making comments about being known for "using your head" (Fencik graduated from Yale). Another patron tries to imitate him, and knocks himself cold.
  • One Pepsi commercial had can-crushing as a final test for initiates in a Buddhist monastery.

Film

  • Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.
  • Perhaps the first character to do it on film was Bluto in Animal House.
  • In Shaolin Soccer, "Iron Head" does a variant with a glass bottle.
  • Parodied in Sorority Boys when Doofer confesses he crushes beer cans on his head out of peer pressure and he undergoes a lot of CAT scans.

Literature

  • Invoked by Mr. Tulip, in The Truth, where he smashes a bottle of alcohol against his forehead. The narrative notes that he is not doing this to be perceived as tough by the drinkers at Beirs, but simply because he had a bottle that he no longer needed and putting it down on a table required more concentration then he deemed necessary. It is implied to be mainly Mr. Tulip's presence that, after the New Firm leaves Biers, causes them to lock the door in case they come back. For those less familiar with Discworld, Biers is Ankh-Morpork's resident bar for the undead.
  • Deconstructed in one humorous college survival guide, which shows a step-by-step guide to doing this, the last step being that you will not make a good impression on your girlfriend's parents, with the boy meeting the parents with the marks from crushing the can still on his head.[context?]

Live-Action TV

  • Wilson did this in Home Improvement, and wound up giving himself a headache in the process.
  • Buddy Lembeck from Charles in Charge bragged about crushing a number of cans in a row, and could have done more if they were empty.
  • One episode of Boy Meets World had Mankind teaching Topanga how to do this.
    • Also, Cory tried to do it to impress the wrestlers in season 2.
  • Gary in Men Behaving Badly tried this once to prove how tough he was. Not only did he fail miserably but he also managed to skewer his hand with a fork.
  • Similar to the above, The Rockford Files had an ex-con try to intimidate Jim by crushing a can on his forehead. Jim pointed out that beer cans had switched from steel to aluminum while he was in prison, and anyone can do that now.
  • Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard once instructed Ronin in proper beer can crushing technique. It was their day off.
  • Taken Up to Eleven with X-Plays Johnny Extreme, who slams beer bottles against his crotch.
  • An episode of My Name Is Earl had Earl attempt this... with what appeared to be a full can. Ouch.

Professional Wrestling

  • Professional Wrestler Sandman smashes several cans against his head during his entrance.
    • He would do this until he split forehead open too.

Stand Up Comedy

  • A prop comedian (name forgotten) once demonstrated the ultimate way to one-up tough guys who crush beer cans on their foreheads: He showed a beer can, crushed it against his forehead, and subsequently un-crushed it by inflating it back to its original shape.

Video Games

  • A variant occurs in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade in the Castle Brunwald section, where Biff will do this after you offer him a stein (or trophy) of ale.
  • In the first Ratchet & Clank game, Ratchet does this to the second can of Heart Container juice.
  • Soda Popinski does this with a plastic vodka soda bottle.
  • In Brutal Legend, the headbanger legions do this with beer bottles repeatedly without detriment, thanks to their extremely Hard Heads. Understandably, the keeper of Beerhenge does this more then anybody ever.
  • In Monday Night Combat's Spunky Cola trailer, the rough-and-tumble Tank does this with a can of, well, Spunky Cola. The wimpy Sniper actually knocks himself out trying to do the same.

Web Comics

  • Pv P has the can full.
  • Krakow, when Kia the Succubus tried to demonstrate that she could be "one of the guys" too, but the can is full.

Web Original

  • Linkara attempted this in his Adamantium Rage review, but the can remained intact. "Ow!"

Western Animation

Jane: I bet that any minute now, Kevin will astound and amaze his friends by crushing that can with his skull...

"There's no one more stable then me..."

Real Life

  • The frontman for the Australian band Airbourne smashes unopened beer cans on his head during live shows until they burst, then throws them to the audience.