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Unfortunately, it's also got a terrible track record of actually keeping criminals locked up. I'm not saying it's a revolving door, but it seems like every time I pick up the morning paper Nanosec or the archer guy has busted out. —Captain Fanzone (on Blackwater Prison), Transformers Animated: The Allspark Almanac

Peoriah Johnson told Dudlow Jones "I can break out of any old jail you know The bars are iron, the walls are stone All I need me is an old fish bone." They're servin' fish in the jailhouse tonight Oh boy, alright. —Tom Waits, "Fish in the Jailhouse"

Earl Hickey: I bet they didn't mention the 740 inmates who didn't escape! Warden Hazelwood: I like you... you're a "prison half full" kinda guy. —My Name Is Earl

[Fred Colon] was, on the whole, a pretty good jailer: he always had a pot of tea on the go, he was as a general rule amiably disposed to most people, he was too slow to be easily fooled and he kept the cell keys in a tin box in the bottom drawer of his desk, a long way out of reach of any stick, hand, dog, cunningly thrown belt or trained Klatchian monkey spider —Thud!

They need to improve security at Arkham Asylum. —Catwoman telling it like it is

Bruce Wayne: You don't know the first thing about the American justice system, do you? Robin: I know it's bogus. Bruce Wayne: And how did you come to that well-thought-out conclusion? Robin: Watching you. —The New Batman Adventures, "Cold Comfort"

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