Cat-Women of the Moon

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
"Don't think, honey. Just be beautiful."
—Gary in Missile to the Moon, unwittingly presenting the Aesop of both movies.

Mankind's first expedition to the Moon courts disaster by including a woman in the crew.

Well there's more to it than that, but not much. Part of the Lady Land subgenre of sci-fi cheapies (see also Queen of Outer Space and Fire Maidens from Outer Space) in which an Interplanetary Voyage leads to the discovery of an all-female society on another world. Rather than using this premise to explore gender politics of the time, we instead get Fan Service and the restoration of a reassuring sense of male patriachy by the end.

What were you expecting -- rocket science?

The film was remade in 1959 as Missile to the Moon. Somehow it managed to be even worse than the B-Movie original.

Tropes used in Cat-Women of the Moon include:

Laird: I want everyone to check each other's heaters. It must be set on Number Two, because of the absolute cold of the dark side.

  • Space Madness: Laird puts down Helen's call to Alpha (which she doesn't remember) as "a touch of space madness".
  • Stock Footage: The usual 1949 film taken from an A4 rocket launched into the upper atmosphere is reused in a constant loop.
  • Take Over the World: Alpha's evil plan.

Alpha: Four of us will be enough. We will get their women under our power, and soon we shall rule the whole Earth.

Alpha: We need no language. We can project our thoughts long distances.

  • Villain Teleportation: Lambda teleports herself via a bad jump cut. Leads to a Fridge Logic moment -- if the cat-women can do this, why do they need the spacesuits to get to the rocketship?

Missile to the Moon provides examples of:

Alpha: The Lido has met with...an unfortunate accident. But before she left she appointed me as the new Lido.
Moon Girl: This was no accident...
Alpha: Silence!

  • California Doubling: That 'ole sci-fi standby, Bronson Canyon, passes for the Moon. Including bushes.

Rifftrax: Real nice day on the Moon! Must be a high pressure system.

Rifftrax: "I think you'd have a better chance of being overtaken by an actual rock."

  • Dull Surprise: All the actors at one time or another, but Cathy Downs' (June) tone of voice never matches whatever dramatic events are happening on screen. No wonder her screams are all dubbed.
  • Evil Army: The military seeks to take over Dirk's research, as missile work is their sole prerogative. Apparently they're unaware of the existence of the military-industrial complex.
  • Extreme Graphical Representation

"The signals from the missile are flashing!"

  • Fanservice Extras: 'International Beauty Contest Winners' -- ranging from Miss Florida to Miss Yugoslavia -- play the Moon Girls.
  • Giant Spider: The Dark Creature.
  • Good Guns, Bad Guns: Mad Scientist Dirk removes a German Luger from the desk, while Steve takes out a good 'ole American Colt automatic.
  • Got Volunteered: Dirk ropes in escaped convicts Lon and Gary as a scratch crew to help him go to the Moon. Good thing piloting the ship only consists of pulling big levers at his command!
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Their lives depend on the Moon people thinking Steve is Dirk, so naturally June blurts out the truth when she sees Alpha smooching Steve.
  • He's Dead, Jim: Dirk.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Alpha somehow manages to impale herself on her own knife.
  • Hollywood Torches: Our first sign of civilisation on the Moon. Why they'd use such things on a world rapidly running out of oxygen is not mentioned.
  • Immune to Bullets: The rock creatures.
  • I Resemble That Remark

Gary: "The papers, what would they know? They said I stole three cars."
Lon: "So?"
Gary: "It was five cars!"

June: "Oh Steve, we've got to stop it!"
Rifftrax: "If not we'll be forced to walk away slowly without the slightest trace of urgency, laughing the whole time!"

  • The Power of the Sun: Stepping into the direct light of the sun is enough to make Gary turn into a burning dummy, and then a plastic skeleton.
  • Rape as Drama: Gary makes an attempt to grope June, leading to Good Old Fisticuffs with Dirk. He is Easily Forgiven once the obligatory meteor shower flies at them.
  • Space Suits Are Scuba Gear: The spacesuits are air force jumpsuits, helmets and oxygen cylinders.
  • The Starscream: Whichever woman has the strongest mind power becomes the Lido. When Alpha fails a contest of minds, she thinks "Stuff it" and stabs the current Lido In the Back.
  • Stock Footage Failure: Stock footage of a German V2 launch is used. Unfortunately this includes the launch gantry -- while they're landing and taking off from the Moon.
  • Swiss Cheese Security: The control circuits for the electric fence are outside the fence, protected by a small easily-picked padlock. The rocket is right next to the fence, too.
  • Victoria's Secret Compartment: Alpha removes a dagger from her ample cleavage.
  • Worthless Yellow Rocks: This time it's diamonds that are common, and it's no surprise that Gary suffers Death by Materialism by refusing to drop the two bags of uncut diamonds that are slowing him down.
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