Civilization (video game)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Fusion tank: [Powers up railgun]
Lawyer: [Brandishing a writ] You're served!
Fusion tank: [ZAP]

  • The infamous "spearman vs. tank" battles that resulted in the icon on Civfanatics - it's a burning tank with a confused Emoticon next to a rejoicing spearman.
  • Civ IV features Leonard Nimoy narrating a famous quote each time you research a technology. When you research satellites, he quotes Sputnik: "Beep... beep... beep... beep...."
    • Which is also Truth in Television as Sputnik really did nothing more than beep.
      • It's Leonard Nimoy saying "Beep" over and over again. I don't care how realistic it is, it is freaking HILARIOUS!
  • Great People-related anachronisms can be quite hilarious. "Li Bo (Great Artist) was born in Tenochtitlan", while already rather weird, wouldn't have looked nearly as insane if Li Bo wasn't wearing a white Elvis suit.
    • "Hernan Cortes (Great General) was born in Tenochtitlan!"
      • J Edgar Hoover, Great Spy, in a ninja suit.
  • Ghandi Threatening you with nuclear weapons. I don't care what you say, that's hilarious.
  • The names of the achievements in Civ V.
  • The description of the Giant Death Robot in Civilization V:

The “mech” is a giant bipedal mechanical robot armed with a variety of missiles, Gatling gun arms, laser-beam eyes, and a deadly kung-fu punch. Although not currently found on the modern battlefield, no doubt across the world governments and evil corporations are secretly developing these metal behemoths even as we speak. When these mechs come into service, all of the world’s other weaponry will become obsolete, and humanity’s fate will be decided by a climactic battle between armies of good and evil mechs in the streets of downtown Tokyo. (Assuming that the giant radioactive monsters don’t get us first.)


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