Clone High

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

JFK: I'm a Kennedy. I'm not accustomed to tragedy!

Gandhi: If there's one thing Mahatma Gandhi stands for, it's revenge!

Clone High (2002-2003) is an animated show parodying the Teen Drama, especially the Very Special Episode.

The plot is pretty straightforward, being outlined at the beginning of every episode by the Expository Theme Tune. Way, way back in the 1980s, secret government employees dug up famous guys and ladies and made amusing genetic copies. Now the clones are sexy teens, now. They're gonna make it if they try. Loving, learning, sharing, judging. Time to laugh and shiver and cry. A time to watch Clone High.

A Myth Arc is implied, wherein the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures that created the clones check up on the progress toward conditioning them into a super-strong and super-intelligent army. However, little progress is ever made in that, or in Principal Scudworth's plan of creating a clone-based amusement park called "Cloney Island", as the series was canceled in the US after less than a season. The rest of the season aired in Canada (home of the series' lead animation studio), and the out-of-print DVD was only released in the Canadian market.

The large list of historical figure clones includes:

Afterschool Charisma is a story with a similar concept, but with less emphasis on comedy and more emphasis on how clones are viewed by normal people.

A lot of the humor comes from off-hand or irreverent historical references (like the scene where the clone of Buddy Holly invites Abe to ride on a broken-down plane along with Richie Valens, The Big Bopper, Jim Croce, and half of Lynyrd Skynyrd... all of whom had their real life counterparts die in plane crashes).

...Wesley.

As a show with a premise based on parody, it mocks quite a few tropes:

Abe: Hm. I don't really feel anything... Well, I have a strong constitution, so I don't reallyI CAN TASTE THE SUN!!!

Cleo: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Joan (tired) / Cleo (excited): Suicide! / Makeover!

Forget Cleo! She's a skanky ho. You should date... Joan of Arc!

Scudworth: By the way... How is Brian?
Colonel Principal: Delicious!

  • Deadpan Snarker: Joan, as per the Goth stereotype.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Larry Hardcore - "I was into everything: weed, grass, ganja, reefer, marijuana, mary jane, I did it all. I even smoked pot once."
    • Also, the full name of the school is "Clone High High School".
  • Did Not Do the Research: Buddha (that is, Siddartha Gautama) is depicted as a jolly, fat, bald, Chinese-American kid, despite him having been a thin, hair-sporting Indian. Then again, many of the teens in-universe seem to base their understandings of their original figures on popular, erroneous perception.
    • We have no idea where Cleopatra is buried, so how did they get her DNA? Cue MST3K Mantra.
    • For that matter, what remained of Joan of Arc after the burning was thrown into the Seine River nearly 600 years ago. So that one is also impossible.
    • Also, the clones were all made in the 1980s (according to the theme), and were all presumably made from dead historical figures, since making them out of live figures would be pointless. At one point, Abe has a throwaway line about Mother Teresa's clone. Mother Teresa died in 1997. She was dead at the time the show was made, but not when the clones were supposed to have been made.
    • Same goes for the clones of Frank Sinatra and the rest of the Rat Pack who show up in one scene.
  • Don't Explain the Joke: JFK. Constantly.
    • And by "What I Mean", I mean SEXUAL REFERENCE!

JFK: Hey, let's all go swimming... in my pool! And by pool, I mean bathtub... and by swimming, I mean SEX!

    • Other characters are often guilty of this too.

Cleo: Abe, it's sex o'clock. It may have sounded like I said the number six but instead I substituted the more suggestive word...sex!

Cleo: This might be the beer talking--
Abe: Probably not.
Cleo: But I think you're hot.

    • Also happens in the episode "Raisin the Stakes," which is about teens going wild and hippie after smoking... raisins.
  • Fat Idiot: Genghis Khan, so very much.
  • Five-Man Band:
  • Flawed Prototype: Mr Sheepman.
  • Forgotten Fallen Friend: Ponce De Leon, who is never mentioned after his episode (or before for that matter).
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus:
    • Several in "Raisin the Stakes."
      • During the PTA scene when Scudworth gets up to talk to the parents, a blink-and-you-miss-it drawing of him surrounded by little hearts flashes onscreen with the words, "Scudworth is your favorite character!"
      • During the hippie song, after JFK sings "Sign my cast for me," the words "I BURIED PONCE" flash onscreen.
      • At the very end of the episode, the words "FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT RAISINS, VISIT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY" appear.
    • In the season finale, when Abe enters the freezer to find Joan in bed with JFK. Just before Joan pulls the sheet up over her chest, "Nice try" can be seen written on her breasts, replacing any naughty bits.
  • Freud Was Right: Parodied in-universe when Sigmund Freud's clone is the only one who picks up on the subtext of Joan's film
  • Freudian Slip: Subverted Trope with Cleo's "sex o'clock", she points out that it was not a slip of "six o'clock", and that she really did mean to say "sex o'clock".
  • Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: Cleo's first reaction to finding out John was Joan was to gag at the thought that she was trying to make out with Joan, then she smirked and said "Hot."
  • Goofy Print Underwear Pink heart boxers are seen off of Gandhi in the pilot and on a cop during the parody of The Benny Hill Show.
  • Happily Adopted: All the clones have foster parents, and they're aware of it. Of course, sometimes it's questionable as to how happy they are.
    • Made funnier by the fact that Abe and his father address each other as "Foster Dad" and "Foster Son".
  • Hahvahd Yahd In My, er-uh, Cah: JFK, naturally.
  • High School AU
  • High School Sweethearts: Parodied
  • Historical Hilarity
    • What's that on the roof of The Grassy Knoll? Oh look, it's the reconstruction of John F. Kennedy's assassination.
      • Which seems to be a theme of the restaurant, considering what's inside. When Abe can't figure out what would stop him from wanting to be President, perfectly framed in the shot is a painting depicting a highly exaggerated version of Abraham Lincoln's assassination.
    • Before dying, Poncey discusses mortality with JFK, remarking that there is no real Fountain of Youth. The real Ponce de Leon was a Spanish explorer. Guess what he was searching for.
    • Cleopatra's oral fixation in the show mirrors the same some historians claim of her.
  • Hot Guys Are Bastards: Oh, JFK...
  • I Can't Believe It's Not Heroin!: Raisins
    • and even more ludicrous (if that's possible): Sleep deprivation
  • I Have No Son
    • Gandhi's stereotypically Jewish foster dad says this after Gandhi says he wants to be a trucker.
  • I Like My X Like I Like My Y: Gandhi likes his humping like he likes his martinis: dry
  • I'm Standing Right Here
  • Ink Suit Actor: The guest stars who don't play themselves usually wind up as this (such as Jack Black's character). Joan lampshades this with Mandy Moore's character by constantly asking her if she is really Mandy Moore, although it seems to be purposely inconsistent whether the character is supposed to be Mandy Moore having randomly become a hobo, or a hobo who just is identical to Mandy Moore.
    • The credits lampshade this, by giving Mandy Moore a special guest credit as "herself?"
  • Insignia Rip Off Ritual: With the insignia on Abe's basketball jacket
  • Ironic Echo: JFK during a road race against Abe. His convenient forgetfulness of his family's bad karma finally bites him.

JFK: Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys!

  • his car crashes and he loses*

Mr. Butlertron: What would the real Joan of Arc have done?
Joan: She would have listened to her heart. And then she would've gotten burned at the stake. [nervous laugh] But what are the odds of that happening again?
Mr. Butlertron: 38%.

  • Local Hangout: The Grassy Knoll
  • Locked in a Freezer: With literally everyone who had appeared beforehand (except Scudworth and Butlertron) in the Season Finale. Although it's not quite an example of this trope...
  • Logic Bomb: Parodied and averted in one fell swoop by Mr. Butlertron on Scangrade

Butlertron: Before you kill me, I have one request: can you answer a multiple choice question?
Scangrade: I'm Scangrade. I grade tests for a living. Ask me your question!
Butlertron: Are you a) handsome, b) smart, c) scrap metal, or d) all of the above?
Scangrade: That's easy. I'm a) and b), but not c), so I can't be d). You can't fill in two ovals! (explodes)
Butlertron: The answer was c). You f***wad.

Mr. Sheepman: Your innocent whistling doesn't fool me. I'm 70 percent sure that farting noise came from you.

JFK: [about a party] I'll see you there. And by will, I mean won't! HAHAHA!

  • leaves* *comes back*

JFK: Because you're not invited. I, er, uh, wasn't sure if I was clear about that earlier. So, you're not. Invited, that is.

  • leaves* *comes back*

JFK: TO MY PARTY!

  • leaves* *comes back*

JFK: Forgot to wash my hands...

Marylin Manson: It's the food pyramid, and it's approved by the USDA.

... WEEEEESSSLEEEEY .

  1. ↑ He says so with a plainly visible background painting of Abraham Lincoln being shot by John Wilkes Booth at the Ford's Theater.
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