Cloudcuckoolander/Recorded and Stand Up Comedy

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


"I [asked for a Kinder Surprise in third person] the other day and it answered me back, and he said to me: "No, I am Bill Bailey. You are not Bill Bailey, you are just a mere doppelgänger. I am the true Bill Bailey, in Another Dimension." And I went, "Oh, I hadn't planned on that." Then I thought the only way to solve this, I have to run at my doppelgänger, then we will be fused forever. So I ran full-tilt at it, and just before I got there I realised it was the highly polished side of the cheese counter."

  • Gilbert Gottfried
  • Bobcat Goldthwait
  • Emo Philips. He deserves to be here more than twice, but two will have to do.
  • Norm MacDonald
  • The Firesign Theatre
  • Mitch Hedberg
  • Noel Fielding His hat's made out of skin! his paper is made out of skin! everything is made out of skin! So I got freaked out and ran home, and it took me an hour, and when I got there some bracken had put my window through
  • Demitri Martin

"I have less focus than squirrels!"

(The answer is "15") "Is it... how many magic biscuits are there in the magic biscuit tree?"

  • Reggie Watts

Loopy loopy loopy