Comically Missing the Point/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
I mean, I like uniforms, but what's the point if everyone in a group is wearing the same thing?
—Tedd, El Goonish Shive
Report on Reports Sees Too Many Reports: Project took 668 Pages, 18 months; more study is due, agency head says.
—An Associated Press wire story, reproduced here.

Charles: Now, which is the worst tennis-playing nation in the world?
She: Er ... Australia.
Charles: No. Try again.
She: Australia?
Charles: (testily) No... try again but say a different place.

She: Oh, I thought you meant I'd said it badly.
—Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Science Fiction Sketch"
"Do not damage the safety equipment. Remove it, in case of danger."
—Female Announcer, Rabbids Go Home
Zii, as une lesbienne, I'm... I'm... I'm going to miss boooooooooys!
—DiDi, Ménage à 3

Padme: After it!
Clone NPC: It´s a spaceship. This is a hover transport-
Padme: Modify the engines or something!
Clone NPC: -with no walls.

Padme: Hold your breaths!
—Darths and Droids
"For a far more thought-provoking tale about the virtual realm, try The Social Network."
—A USA Today review of Tron: Legacy

Shoots him down dead on the floor
Aw, you shouldn't do that
Don't you know you'll stain the carpet

Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet
—The Velvet Underground, "Sister Ray"

<Batty>: Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep>: rapc?
<Batty>: ...
<Batty>: Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep>: oic
<Batty>: Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep>: wtf is erap?

*Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall*
—bash.org

{From the educational movie "Meat and You: Partners in Freedom"}
Troy McClure: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Oooohhh!

Troy McClure: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy! It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
—McClure misses the point and makes it worse, The Simpsons

<Supercow>: i once questioned a turtle about advanced trigonometry
<Supercow>: but after a while i found out it was only a rock
<eightyapes>: idiot
<Supercow>: fuck u... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked like a turtle

<eightyapes>: i dont think u get my point
—Bash.org

Jeremy: I'm here to renegotiate my employment, Hector.
Hector: Dude, you quit before you ever started.
Jeremy (holding his hand out): Apology accepted.

Hector: Engaging mower blade!
—Zits

Katara: It says here, "If you ever want to see your daughter again, bring 500 gold pieces to the Arena." It's signed Xin Fu and The Boulder.

Sokka: I can't believe it. I HAVE THE BOULDER'S AUTOGRAPH!!
—Avatar: The Last Airbender

Gumball: What do bald people need more of?
Darwin: Friends?
Gumball: Yes! And what do you buy friends with?
Darwin: Uhhhhh...

Gumball: With money!
—The Amazing World of Gumball

Martin: And I'm wondering, how did it all slip away?
Karen: Well, "it" didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.

Martin: Yeah, that was a good party.
—Get Shorty
I think they have destroy the game just with the Bo; i hate japenese music , it was a bad choice to give this project to a japenese i think
—Teranovadra's reaction to the final stage of Child of Eden
"It's so disgusting that a woman would leave her baby in a dumpster. Some people eat out of those!"
—Comedian Nikki Glaser

Mr. Furious: ... Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing
The Shoveller: Don't start that again. Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.
Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms.

The Shoveller: That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see.
—Mystery Men

Confucius: Never belch before a lady.

Froggo: Sorry! I didn't know it was her turn.
—Histeria!!

Luigi: 200 years [in prison]!? What're we gonna do!?

Mario: Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!
—Super Mario Bros Super Show

Princess Selenay: I will not take those gowns, or these gowns, or any gowns at all! How many times must I tell you? I'm going to a battlefield, not a fete, a state visit, or a festival!

Maid: But, Highness, you will be surrounded by highborn young men! Your Highness cannot possibly wish to appear the hoyden--"
—Exile's Honor

Parappa: Wait, wait wait! That doesn't sound like Rock'n Roll!

PJ: Cuz you played it funny. Now it's my turn.
—Um Jammer Lammy, specifically PaRappa's story


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