Congo/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Peter wakes up to find a leech attached to his penis.
  • Richard's conversation with an African porter.

Richard: So, what's your name again?
Claude: Claude.
Richard: Oh. Well, that's a very odd name for someone from... uh... where are you from again?
Claude: Mombasa.
Richard: Yeah, that's a very odd name for someone from Mombasa.
Claude: Have you ever been to Mombasa?
Richard: Um, no.
Claude: Then what do you know about it?
Claude puts out his cigarette and walks away.
Richard: I wanna go home!

Richard: This is pure Kafka...

Interrogator: WHO IS KAFKA?? TELL ME!!!

Captain Wanta: Have some coffee and cake. (When they do not immediately take him up on this offer) HAVE SOME!
Captain Wanta: (two bundles of hundred-dollar bills - twenty grand - are placed before him. Beat ) More. (Three more bundles)
Captain Wanta: Mister Homolka; stop eating my sesame cake. ( Beat ) STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!
Captain Wanta: (puts money in paper bag) So, I'll put this away. (staples bag shut) Don't-want-no-body-peeking!

Amy: Ugly. Woman.
Peter: Yes, yes. Very ugly woman.

    • Peter gave Amy an egg to eat, only for her to throw it at Karen.