Console RPG Cliches 121 to 144

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  1. Child Protection Act (Rydia Rule): Children 12 and under are exempt from death. They will emerge alive from cataclysms that slaughter hundreds of sturdily-built adults, often with barely a scratch. Further protection is afforded if the catastrophe will orphan the child.
  2. Missing Master Hypothesis: Almost every strong physical fighter learned everything he/she knows from some Old Master or friend. Invariably, the master or friend has since turned evil, been killed, or disappeared without a trace.
  3. Missing Master Corollary (Sabin Rule): If a fighter's master merely disappeared, you will undoubtedly find him/her at some point in your travels. The master will challenge the student to a duel, after which the student will be taught one final skill that the master had been holding back for years.
  4. Gojira Axiom: Giant monsters capable of leveling cities all have the following traits:
    • Low intelligence
    • Enormous strength
    • Projectile attacks
    • Gigantic teeth and claws, designed, presumably, to eat other giant monsters
    • Vulnerable to weapons 1/10,000th its size
    • Ecologically sensitive
  1. "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?" If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love. (a variant of Inn Security)
  2. Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely (Althena Rule): If a good guy is manipulated to the side of evil, they will suddenly find a new inner strength that will enable them to wipe out your whole party with a wave of their hand.
  3. All Is Forgiven (Nash Rule): However, when the trusted member of your party turns against you, do not give it a second thought. They will return to your side after they're done with their amnesia/mind control/hidden noble goal that caused them to give away all your omnipotent mystical artifacts.
  4. First Law of Fashion: All characters wear a single costume which does not change over the course of the game. The only exception is when characters dress up in enemy uniforms to infiltrate their base.
  5. Second Law of Fashion: Any character's costume, no matter how skimpy, complicated, or simply outlandish, is always completely suitable to wear when climbing around in caves, hiking across the desert, and slogging through the sewers. It will continue to be completely suitable right afterwards when said character goes to meet the King.
  6. Third Law of Fashion: In any futuristic setting, the standard uniform for female soldiers and special agents will include a miniskirt and thigh-high stockings. The standard uniform for all male characters, military or not, will include an extraordinarily silly and enormous hat. (See also Crystal Spires and Togas)
  7. First Rule of Politics (Chancellor's Axiom): Any advisor of a major ruler has been scheming after his throne for quite a while. Thanks to the miracle of timing, you will arrive at the king's inner sanctum Just in Time for the coup.
  8. Second Rule of Politics (Scapegoat's Axiom): If the advisor works for an evil ruler, the advisor is as bad or even worse, and there's a good chance he's the final villain. (See Fake Ending Rule.) If the advisor works for a good ruler, he usually has the good of the kingdom at heart; not that that helps, because your party will invariably be made the scapegoat for all that's wrong with the nation and immediately thrown in the dungeon.
  9. Last Rule of Politics: Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.
  10. Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics (Ramus Rule): Twenty-three generations may pass, but any person's direct descendant will still look and act just like him.
  11. Pinch Hitter Rule: Whenever a member of the hero's team is killed or retires, no matter how unique or special he or she was there is a good chance someone will show up to replace them that has exactly the same abilities and can use the same weapons with the same proficiency.
  12. Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 1 (Yuffie Rule): All good-looking young females are there to help you. This rule holds even when the girl in question is annoying, useless, or clearly evil.
  13. Dealing With Beautiful Women, Part 2 (Rouge Rule): All good-looking middle-aged females are out to kill you. This rule holds even when the woman in question has attained your unwavering trust and respect.
  14. Well, So Much For That: After you have completed your mighty quest to find the object that will save the known universe, it will either a) get lost, b) get stolen, or c) not work.
  15. The Ominous Ring of Land: The classic Ominous Ring of Land is a popular terrain feature that frequently doesn't show up on your world map. Just when you think things are going really well and you've got the Forces of Evil on the run, monsters, demons and mad gods will pour out of the center of the ring and the situation will get ten times worse. The main villain also usually hangs out in one of these after attaining godhood. If there are several Ominous Rings of Land or the entire world map is one big ring, you are just screwed. (See also The Very Definitely Final Dungeon)
  16. Law of NPC Relativity (Magus Rule): Characters can accomplish superhuman physical feats, defeat enemies with one hand tied behind their back and use incredible abilities -- until they join your party and you can control them. Then these wonderful powers all vanish, along with most of their hit points. (Commonly related to either Good Is Dumb, Boring and/or Impotent)[1]
  17. Guards! Guards! (or, Lindblum Full Employment Act): Everything will be guarded and gated (elevators, docks, old rickety bridges, random stretches of roadway deep in the forest) except for the stuff that actually needs to be.
  18. Thank You For Pressing The Self-Destruct Button: All enemy installations and city-sized military vehicles will be equipped with a conveniently located, easy-to-operate self-destruct mechanism. (See also Big Red Button)
  19. Falling Rule: An RPG character can fall any distance onto anything without suffering anything worse than brief unconsciousness. In fact, falling a huge distance is an excellent cure for otherwise fatal wounds -- anyone who you see shot, stabbed, or mangled and then tossed off a cliff is guaranteed to return later in the game with barely a scratch.
  20. Materials Science 101: Gold, silver, and other precious metals make excellent weapons and armor even though in the real world they are too soft and heavy to use for that purpose. In fact, they work so well that nobody ever melts their solid gold suit of armor down into bullion, sells it, and retires to a tropical isle on the proceeds.

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  1. For the record, Magus, after whom this rule is alternately named, is a justified example of the trope. His powers were drained by Lavos before he could join you.