Coyle Command/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Anni, now upgraded into a cyborg, is put in charge of testing new weapons. He is given a large green mallet and put up against O'Connell, who is carrying a Hunting Rifle. Unsurprisingly, O'Connell wins. The verdict?

The gun works.

  • Chrome Dome, speaking in Bioshock clips as usual, arrives after surviving the destruction of nVo HQ, and naturally, his dialogue seems completely irrelevant. The Commander's response?

The f*ck?

  • From 'Fembots,' Coyle Commander chews out a Trooper for requesting a fembot after it is announced they are developing androids, even threatening to have him killed, and then signs off. He then calls over Anni and asks if HIS Fembots are ready. After putting everything in order, he swings around, see the camera and asks:

What does that red light mean?

  • Agent B shoots someone for turning on the lights. Cue Wilhelm Scream.
  • From He Who Fights Groceries, we have this exchange, regarding a conspiracy theory surrounding super markets.

Agent B: You don't get it, do you? We're just as big of targets as anyone else!
Commander: You should know by now we make our own crops.
Agent B: What about detergent? Toilet paper? Soap?
Commander: We make those too.
Agent B: Then that leaves us in a world under their control.
Commander: We could try using our guns against them.
Agent B: CAN'T YOU SEE GUNS WON'T HELP US!?
Commander: They will if we shoot bullets out of them.
Agent B: ...No they won't.

  • Dr. Vorn's interview in New Villain Order? I just met her! He's still dead.
  • Anni's sales pitch in Coymercials #4 , consisting of such things as comparing Solo it liquid gold, and claiming that he showers in it several times a day. Eventually ends with him proclaiming that it will leave you with strength, and knocks himself out trying to crush a can on his head.