Crazy Prepared/Quotes
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When you need it, but don't have it, you sing a whole different tune.
—Burt Gummer, Tremors 2
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Cpt. Lassard: You've all been trained in the latest techniques of law enforcement. Any of you have any special skills I should know about? |
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Thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, dandruff brush, animal footprint chart, and one triple-thick condom. You never know.
—Duane Dibbley, Red Dwarf
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Professionals have standards: be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
—The Sniper, Team Fortress 2
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For example, there's a spell listed entitled Against every Wild Animal, Aquatic Creature and Robbers. In the event that you are simultaneously attacked by a wild bear, Aquaman and the Hamburglar, this spell will have your back.
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Luckily, Ah say, Luckily, Ah keep mah feathers numbered for just such an occasion.
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Doc: Hey Sarge, do you have a, quote, "zombie plan," unquote? —Red vs. Blue, "Planning to Fail"
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The moment their arms spun freely in our air, they were doomed -- for man has earned his right to hold this planet against all comers, by virtue of occasionally producing someone totally batshit insane.
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Art: Does that say "in case of zombies"? |
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"For Next Clue, Insert Original Declaration Of Independence Here" Damn! I only carry a copy with me!
—Rick displaying a limit to his crazy preparedness, Rick and Steve
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In any event, I always have a backup plan.
—Brainiac, Justice League Unlimited
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[The spring-loaded decapitation device] was just a random thought I had. What if you had to do battle with your arms cut off? Sure, you'd hemorrhage to death pretty quick, but at least you could take your enemy with you!
—Fred, Angel
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Rick Jones: Don't look so shocked. I always carry a miniature parachute with me in case I have to jump from an exploding Skrull saucer. —The Incredible Hulk #375
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Nijima: "Shall I tell you why I'm number one in my group and you're just a number two?" |
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Batman: You know what I would have done? I would've thrown a batarang at him, then tied him up! |
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An experienced Adventurer keeps an unpredictable assortment of magic nearby. It helps counter the unpredictable trouble that predictably befalls him.
—Adventurers Vault 2 on consumable magic items
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It wasn't easy to synthesize, Clark... Took years and cost a fortune. I had both.
—Batman explains why he's got Kryptonite arrows, The Dark Knight Returns
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The simplest way to plan ahead is merely to be ready for everything.
—Pontifex, elder researcher, Magic: The Gathering "Myr Adaptor" flavour text
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Usually I can't be surprised, but if I think I will be I wear a metal suit.
—"Ask Axe Cop" #38
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What, do you think I have a kit to purge evil spirits from a dog? (smirks) Because I do.
—Merton J. Dingle, Big Wolf on Campus
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Peter: You have a shotgun and silver bullets at home?! —Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man
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We remain convinced this is the best defensive posture to adopt in order to minimize casualties when the Great Old Ones return from beyond the stars to eat our brains.
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Yes! I had a sword built into Envy's dress in case of emergency! THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF GUY I AM!
—Gideon, Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour
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Riff: Torg, why do you have emergency pants? |
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Expect the unexpected.
—Generally attributed to Heraclitus
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Lily: This whole thing stinks, I tells ya! It stinks! —How I Met Your Mother, "The Ducky Tie"
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Adm. Josh Painter: What's his plan? —The Hunt for Red October, discussing Capt. Marko Ramius' plan to defect
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Be prepared, be prepared, this lesson must be shared |
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It is at times like this that I wish I were one of those adventurers who have pucharsed the entire list of available mundane equipment, "just in case".
—Miko Miyazaki, The Order of the Stick
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The Doctor: [The weapons] are useless, Brigadier. |
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- ↑ Yes, they have.
- ↑ Guess what end up saving the day?