Cucumber Quest

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Almond: Awesome! I've always wanted to fight a real monster.
Cucumber: I haven't!

Tomorrow's the first day of school at Puffington's Academy for the Magically Gifted and/or Incredibly Wealthy, and Cucumber's all packed up to move in. Before he can tuck into his last dinner at home, a letter arrives: Cucumber's father, Lord Cabbage, has been kidnapped and imprisoned by the henchmen of the evil Queen Cordelia, who plans to take over the world! Despite being meek and studious and having a little sister who would likely do a better job, saving the world is strictly the duty of Cucumber. Cucumber sneaks into the Caketown Castle dungeons to speak with his father, who tells him Cordelia's plan: to amass the Disaster Stones and awaken the Nightmare Knight! Cabbage tells Cucumber to meet with the Dream Oracle, who will grant him the legendary Dream Sword, an invaluable weapon against the Nightmare Knight.

And so begins Cucumber's quest.

Cucumber Quest is a web comic by Gigi Digi of Hiimdaisy fame, and so far reads like a snarky love letter to classic SNES-era video games, presented with a Paper Mario-style sense of humor. It can be read here. Starting in 2011, it has not updated since 2017, but is still on the live web as of December 2020.

Has a slowly filling character sheet.

Tropes used in Cucumber Quest include:
  • Abusive Dad: implied with Cabbage. He certainly is a Jerkface.
  • Action Girl: Cucumber's little sister Almond takes swordplay lessons and eagerly volunteers to go on the quest in his place. She later pulls off a Big Damn Heroes moment to save Cucumber.
  • All There in the Manual: Gigi's Tumblr.
  • April Fools' Day: Cuke or Die II: Cuke Harder.
  • Art Shift:
    • Cabbage's explanation of the background of the Nightmare Knight is accompanied by a shift to paper cutouts.
    • A presumably less deliberate example: some stylistic elements like the crayon-style outlines are used inconsistently from page to page.
  • Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: Everyone will have some kind of character design element that is perfectly in line with their name. For example, Bacon's hair is wavy and greasy and looks like bacon while Peridot's is boxy and resembles green gemstone.
  • Berserk Button: Peridot and her name getting mispronounced.
  • Big No: Cucumber delivers one as Sir Tomato brings his sword down on him.
  • Blade on a Stick: Carrot had one...before he ran off in terror away from a harmless monster.
  • Broke the Rating Scale: Cabbage's Jerkface is at least 6 stars out of 5.
    • The Splashmaster's Attack is also like Cabbage's Jerkface stat.
    • The Nightmare Knight's stats break the rating scale in EVERY category!
  • Butt Monkey: Cucumber will never have his way.
  • Cats Are Mean: Cordelia has cat ears.
  • Cosmic Keystone: The Disaster Stones, which, if all gathered, can be used to resurrect the Nightmare Knight.
  • Cowardly Lion: Sir Carrot.
  • Cute Witch: Peridot.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Gigi, constantly in her author notes.
    • Also Peridot, Almond, what little we've seen of Saturday, the two cake ladies, Saturday's butler...
    • ...The Nightmare Knight...

NK: This is the queen.
Splashmaster: So?
NK: So, this isn't the princess. They're two different people. Surely even you can grasp this concept.
Splashmaster: But queen just older fatter princess!

Nautilus: It's not a cell phone, Cucumber. It's a Royal Instrument of Summoning that's been passed down through my family for generations.

Almond: We haven't had a decent fight this whole chapter! Put up your dukes, Grandpa!

Dream Oracle: Listen, Zucchini--
Cucumber: Cucumber.
Dream Oracle: Camembert, that's what I said.

  • Screw the Rules, I Have Money: "Puffington's Academy for the Magically Gifted and/or Incredibly Wealthy" would imply that to get in you need either magical skill or enough money for lack of skill to not matter.
  • Sibling Yin-Yang:
    • Cucumber is a thoughtful, somewhat cowardly mage, while Almond is a rash and headstrong swordswoman.
    • Baguette bakes bread and is cynical and brash while Tartelette bakes pastries and other sweets and is polite and pleasant.
  • Show Within a Show: Punisher Pumice.
  • Similar Squad: Gherkin and Peanut, the original brother/sister pair who fought the Nightmare Knight, to Cucumber and Almond.
  • Speech Impediment: Grizzlygum has a lisp.
  • Squee- done by Queen Cordelia on page 118. It's surprisingly adorable after she had finished chewing out her henchmen and threatened to turn them into stone.
  • Stating the Simple Solution: Cucumber suggests that he simply destroy the Disaster Stones instead of going on a long-winded quest. Cabbage panics and says it would make him the most boring legendary hero ever.
    • Cucumber does this again when he, Almond and Carrot are exploring Saturday's hideout for the Dream Sword and discover the last Disaster Stone. Cucumber considers holding onto it and not even bothering to grab the sword. Surprisingly, Carrot agrees with him, putting the safety of the kingdom over the adventure. Unsurprisingly, Almond finds that idea boring.
  • Stay in the Kitchen: "When's the last time you ever heard of a little sister becoming a legendary hero?"
  • Stealth Pun: Grizzlygum is a bear with no teeth, just gums. In short, he's a GUMMY bear.
  • Taken for Granite: Peridot's specialty seems to be turning people into peridot.
  • Talk to the Fist: Tomato wastes his time boasting at Almond. She takes the opportunity to whack him in the face.
  • Tennis Boss: Peridot.
  • Third Eye: The Dream Oracle has one that peeks through her turban.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Cucumber appears to do this when given a new wand, but he probably knew how to cast spells beforehand but didn't have the chance to.bord
  • Unusual Ears: The Dream Oracle's resemble membranous wings.
  • Vague Age: Word of God on Cucumber's and Almond's ages:

Cucumber and Almond are just Kids. Almond is a Slightly Younger Kid.

Cucumber: Oh, or how about I call you Nautie for sh--
Princess Nautilus: (Gives him a Look of Death.)
Cucumber: ...how about I call you Nautilus.
Princess Nautilus: That would be wonderful! ♥

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