Dan Vs./Funny
- "Look, Dan, I'm just as disgusted at Canada as the next person..."
- As Dan points out that the Quebecians live in Canada rather than France, he comments how geographically confused they are after pointing to England and declaring that that's where France is.
- The encounter with the yeti.
- "Canada is like England and France had a baby out of wedlock."
- Helicopter Hal in all of his Small Name, Big Ego glory, but the best of it is this:
Elise: Dan, land the helicopter and let the minor celebrity go! |
- "Quick! To the Car-mobile!" Followed by Chris pulling a Dukes of Hazzard slide across the front of the car...and landing flat on his back.
- Dan chases a kid dressed like a wookiee in "Dan Vs. the Wolfman", while Chris chases after Dan to stop him. They run past a middle-aged cop standing outside his car with a cup of coffee, about to pop a donut in his mouth. A few seconds pass, and suddenly...
Cop: "Oh wait, I'm a cop! Hey!!" |
- (After being accosted by a gang of children) "Can't live with 'em, can't hunt 'em for sport ... "
- How Dan subdues a Salvation Armed Forces clerk:
Dan: I'm General... Anastasia, commander-in-chief of the Salvation Armed Forces. |
- Also:
Dan: That guy knows 12 different ways to kill a man with a bell. |
- From "Art":
Chris: Museum food tastes like plastic. |
- In "Dan Vs. Burgerphile", one of the cops thought Elise was Chris' nurse.
- The way the cops handle Dan chaining himself to the cash register. They ask him politely to leave, he says no, and they say they've done all they can do.
- The manager of Burgerphile wanted to avoid going back to Maryland, made funnier since this troper lives in Maryland.
- "Hey does anyone else smell smoke and hot grease? Boy I sure hope those two don't" restaurant bursts into flames.
- This amazing piece.
Woman: Hi Dan. I'm a supermodel, and I just moved in next door. |
- "I never joke about kidnapping."
- Don (Elise's father) takes Thanksgiving dinner very seriously.
Don: If there is no cranberry sauce, so help me I will smother everyone in this house. |
- Dan's plan for getting back at Elise's family at the end of the ep;
Dan: If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, burn their house down! |
- From Dan vs. New Mexico as they are eating a roadrunner Chris ran over.
Dan: Pass the ketchup. |
- As Chris asks Dan about his revenge plot against New Mexico to break the awkward silence.
Chris: So how do you plan to- |
- "TEETH!"
- The "conversation between Dan and Chris" that takes place at Burgerphile in Dan vs. the Animal Shelter.
- Chris takes another one for the team;
Chris: Have I been poisoned? |
- Let us not forget The Hub Summer Promo featuring Dan, Megatron and Pinkie Pie!
- Dan managing to mess up his apartment again. In ten minutes. Just by sitting.
- "Chris! That is not in the holiday spirit. Now come and help me annihilate Santa."
- "We're NOT going to jail, Chris! Prison, maybe."
- Actually, jail and prison are different things, with prison being the more serious of the two. So, technically, Dan is correct.
- In "The Neighbors", Dan's strategy for dealing with cannibals; "Eat them before they eat me".
- "The Bank" had a particularly hilarious opening.
Chris: Now Dan, let's not do anything rash- |
- Also, Dan attempting to steal a pen by putting it in his pocket and running off, not realizing it's attached to a chain.
- The Take That directed at Deviant ART in "The Monster Under the Bed" which mentions an Eldritch Abomination known as Uggragoth of the Deviant Art.
Chris: (showing Dan a picture) Look at what he does to people. |
- Chris would kill for bacon. Dan is rather surprised.
- From the same episode, Mr. Mumbles in a ski mask.
- This troper always gets a chuckle out of:
Dan: Stupid monsters. They live under your bed, but they never chip in for the rent. |
- At the start of "Gym" he attempts to make his usual Skyward Scream ...but is too hurt to yell, so he softly says it it pain. The kicker is the fact that he keeps moaning once the title comes up.
- "Who wants to know where I've been?
- From the same episode, Dan's ultimate revenge on the dinosaur at the very end: mailing her his car repair bill.
- In The Telemarketer, Dan finally writes Elise on the list then sees her beat a man up and thinking better of it erases her name off quickly.
- This line from Reality Television after Dan was tricked to appear on The Bachelor spinoff.
- Dan sitting comfortably on a chair on a reality tv show.
Dan: If you're watching this...NOTIFY THE AUTHORITIES! I'M BEING HELD HERE AGAINST MY WILL! |
- This gem from The Barber "Becky, get my killing scissors!"