Daria/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • The striking teachers' chant in "Lucky Strike":

We need a lot more money! / This really isn't funny! / You don't pay us enough to buy honey!
[after complaints by some teachers]
Mr. Demartino: Hey! I threw out the rhyme about the bunny!

    • The teachers then get Mr. O'Neill to write them a new chant. He enlists the help of Trent.

Have you ever been to the children's zoo? When the birdies say "cheep", they're talkin' 'bout you! (Beat) Nah.

    • The moment Quinn starts talking about how her sub was flirting with a student, Daria gets up from the table and brings the phone to her mother like it was instinct.

Helen: Daria! Get me the- (sees Daria in front of her with the phone) Thank you.

    • Ms. Li, after a sleepless night of tense negotiations, announces the end of the strike on the PA system:

People of Mars! I mean, students of Lawndale High. This is your leader... um, principal. What was I saying? Oh! The teachers... the teachers... the strike's over! Your teachers will be back tomorrow! Good ni... day.

  • Tiffany attempting to council Daria on self-esteem in a really funny Lampshade Hanging of her Verbal Tic. In fact, everything Tiffany says in subsequent episodes becomes a CMoF because of this one scene. It's probably...just...because...she previously...got...very few lines...so...I never...really noticed...she talks like thiiis......and that that...might make it difficult...to converse...at length...with people...
  • "SPIRIT ANIMAL! COME BACK, SPIRIT ANIMAL!"
    • "There he is! Behind that pack of zebras!"
    • "Mom, get the painkillers! Quinn...get the camera!"
  • Daria, Jane and Mystic Spyral stuck in traffic in The Tank, while "Everybody Hurts" by REM plays. It's immediately lampshaded:

Trent: This is just like that REM video...except you can't hear anyone's thoughts.
(Daria looks straight ahead)
Caption: Thank God.

  • Trent talking to his Uncle Max:

Uncle Max (drunk): I always liked you, Trent. You were my favorite!
Trent: And why is that, Uncle Max?
Uncle Max: 'Cuz you're a BUM! You're a lousy BUM! You're a rotten BUM! You remind me of MYSELF! Ya know why?
Trent: 'Cuz I'm a bum.

  • This exchange in "Jake of Hearts" following Jake's heart attack:

Jake: That's it, sweetie! Avenge my death.
Daria: You're not dying, dad.
Jake: Avenge me!
Helen: Jake you're going to give yourself a... never mind.

    • The DJ's from the same episode try to get the fashion club to go on a date with Upchuck:

Sandi: Tiffany, dear, would you please explain to the Spatula Man why a bumper sticker cannot possibly compensate for the shame and permanent reputation damage involved in a single date with Charles Rutenhimer?
Tiffany: Upchuck... eww.

      • Just before that when "The Spatula Man" attempts to dive into the crowd.
  • "The Emotional Trauma Cycle of a High School Student"
  • The "bloopers" at the end of "Is It Fall Yet?"
  • "Did you really think you were going to get away with this?!" (Beat) "Well, it would be stupid to say yes now..."
  • "Mart of Darkness".
  • In the episode "Write Where It Hurts", during the story about her family in the future, Quinn tells her kids to watch something educational. A couple seconds later, Sick Sad World is heard. Daria and Quinn yell, "Not that!"
    • For that matter, a lot of Sick Sad World.
  • Really too many snarks to list are these.

Jane: Daria, come out of there. The neighbors are starting to talk.
Daria: Um... ok. Soon they'll be up to primitive drawings and civilization will be on its way.

  • Jane advises Daria on an English assignment in "Write Where it Hurts":

Jane: Well, what's your definition of true?
Daria: Something that says something.
Jane: What, anything?
Daria: No, something, about something.
Jane: Let me get this straight, you're telling me that you want to write something, not just anything, that says something about something.
Daria: Right.
Jane: Gee, who'd ever believe you having trouble communicating.

    • Also, at the beginning of the episode, Kevin saying something so profoundly stupid it makes Mr. O'Neil cry in frustration.
  • Pretty much any exchange between Daria and Amy in "I Don't".
    • Also, the stories that Daria tells her fellow bridesmaids, and the comments provided by Daria's even more deadpan escort, Luhrman.

Daria: I'm an exotic dancer. You know, at a club. I take my clothes off and dance for strange men."
Luhrman: She's really very good.

    • Also, the scene where Erin introduces her not very brightly looking husband, who works for the government - Intelligence.

Luhrman: I'm sorry, what did you say you do? I thought I heard Intelligence, but that can't be right.

  • Field Trips drive Mr. DeMartino to drink.

Jake: Hey~ Mr. DeMartino! (brandishes hip flask) Can I offer you a little nip?
DeMartino: Mr. Morgendorffer, I'm a teacher responsible for dozens of students on a fairly hazardous field trip. Do YOU think I should take a little nip?!

Jake: I guess not.

DeMartino: NO! I GUESS NOT! GIMME THAT! (snatches the flask and starts chugging like there's no tomorrow)

  • "Jane's Addition":

Jane: Trent, I don't care if [Daria] forgives you, I'm never speaking to you again.
Trent: You just did.
Jane: Damn!

  • "No Guy Fawkes Day?!"
  • From "The teachings of Don Jake."

Daria: "DAMMIT. It's MY turn to say 'Dammit'."

  • From "Everybody Loathes a Parade": Daria is stalked by a guy in an animal costume, and the guy faints because he doesn't get enough air. Daria pulls off the mask.
  • The epic lampshading of the Morgendorffer's family dynamic in "Jane's Addition".

Helen: Meeting!
Jake: Golf!
Quinn: Date!
Daria: Sarcasm.

  • "Speedtrapped" cuts to commercial right after Daria finds out the money needed to bail Jane and Mystik Spiral out of jail went missing, then immediately cuts back to the show, so that Quinn could debunk Daria's suspicions that the hitchhiker stole it. (Quinn gave him the money so he could buy her some new clothes.)
  • In "Cafe Disaffecto" when the fat woman faints in front of Daria and Jane:

Jane: Do you know CPR or anything?
Daria: I once gave the Heimlich Maneuver to Quinn.
Jane: Did it work?
Daria: She wasn't choking.

    • But it doesn't end there:

Jane: <Beat> We should be doing something now. I'm sure of it.
Daria: Yeah, I think you're right.
Jane takes a photo of the unconscious woman with her camera.

    • From later in the same episode, when Daria and Jane are being dressed down by Ms. Li for refusing to sell chocolate to the hypoglycemic woman:

Ms. Li: Did she ask you to feed her the chocolate?
Daria: No.
Ms. Li: How do you know it wasn't for her family?
Jane: She has no family. She ate them.

  • After being told by Helen that she has no choice about working at Mr. O'Neil's summer camp, Daria replies:

"What about my feelings? What about my rights?" Beat "What about my bribe?"

  • "I believe it was Jefferson."
  • Quinn's Drama Queen reaction to the parental crackdown in The Big House.
  • The end of Write Where It Hurts

Jane: Daria, you think maybe someday you'll let me read your story?
Daria: No, but I can show you the one I wrote where you run away with Kevin.
Jane: WHAT?

    • The story in question is a parody of The Graduate with Jane as Benjamin stopping Kevin's wedding to Brittany. He runs away with her while Brittany excitedly throws the bouquet in the air.
    • Not to mention Daria's Jane Austen-esque story. One moment includes Daria explaining to Quinn that when she said Tren-er, Mr. Lane causes "bemusement rather than endearment," she basically meant, "He's flaky." Another comes at the end of the story, when Quinn's talk of marriage inadvertently scares away Mr. Lane and his "hunting party", which consisted of 1800s versions of Jesse, Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie.
      • Also Quinn's period-film pronunciation of "huh?"
  • Jake and Helen acting as each other for a therapy session...until Jake goes too far and hurts Helen's feelings.
  • In "One J At A Time", Daria's mother convinces her to finally invite Tom over for dinner to get to know her parents, but she's worried that Jake's eccentric personality and temper is gonna scare him off - but of course, she needn't worry as we get some of the funniest "male bonding" between Jake, Tom and Quinn's third boyfriend that week when they all storm out of the house mid-dinner to catch a squirrel and go Go-karting.
  • The Invitation: Daria and Jane discuss a picture Jane drew the previous summer:

Daria You're really bursting out of the picture plane here.
Jane Yeah, that model was quite bursty. I think she had her "bursts" done.

  • From "Fair Enough" when Quinn is practicing her lines for the fair's production of The Canterbury Tales in the car:

Quinn: "I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing. I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing. I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing."
Daria: With a hey-nonny-nonny, tra-la, tra-la. Would you give it a rest?