Death Note the Abridged Series (kpts4tv)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Ryuk: But if you give up the notebook you'll forget all about me.
Light: GOOD!

  • L agrees to go on a date with Light in order to investigate Sayu.
  • Higuchi is irritated when the other members of Yotsuba are less than helpful:

Higuchi: What's the point of having minions if they don't do your work for you! I should be watching the Home Shopping Network in my underware but NO, I have to go out and commit a murder!

Light: First I gotta get my stupid watch open. Aw, there we go...
L: What's that Light?
Light: Oh I'm just excited we caught Kira is all. Hey look, they're bringing him in right now... Ow!
L: Are you okay?
Light: Yeah I'm fin-OW! I'm okay OW! DAMMIT!
L: Light, do you need me to come over there?
Light: No, no. I'm okay. I'm just so happy that it hurts. Kinda like a little prick.

Light: Well, we've been outside talking for awhile and we've decided to make it official. I LOVE L! AND HE LOVES ME! I'm going to dump Misa so I can be with L!
Everyone: Gasp
L: No, I think you've misinterpreted the situation...

L: Light is Kira and Misa is the Second--
Souichiro: The second? The Second what? ...Oh my God, she's the Second Coming!

Light: "You died over nothing! You died because you told Matsuda Mickey isn't real. How STUPID is that! (Glowing Eyes of Doom) I loved you L and you smashed my heart into a million pieces. I will never love again.

Ryuk: Light, uh... you're scaring me.

Light: Oh Ryuk, I haven't even begun to scare you yet!

Mello: No Roger, I'm never going to work with him, ever! The first thing he did when he was born was he flipped me off!

Near: Mine's bigger.

  • When Mello's mafia minions kidnap an old grey-haired guy...

Mello: I asked you to bring me Sayu Yagami. A 17 year old girl. Does this look like a 17 year old girl to you?
Minion 1: No...
Minion 2: Yes.

  • Misa refuses to acknowledge that Light is gay.

Light: Now I need a place to stay.
Misa: You want to move in with me? Yay!
Ryuk: Ha!
Light: I... *Sighs* this is the worst day ever!

  • Light doesn't get why the taskforce always wants to hang out at his apartment:

Light: I have a question-why is it that whenever we want to work on the Kira investigation we always meet at my apartment?
Mr. Yagami: Oh, you'll see in just a second, Light.
Light: I just don't understand what could be so important...
Misa (in stripper-ware): Okay guys it looks like you have everything you need so I'm gonna go to bed now! Alone! Naked! And with the door unlocked! Bye!

Ryuk: I'll be right there my little apple pie.

Light: Yeah, I still don't see what the big deal is.

Mr. Yagami: How about this? I'll give you the death note and you can take my other daughter for free!
Light: ... (*Death Glare*)

Mello: No, no! I don't want that! I just want the death note!

Mr. Yagami: What if I paid you?

Mello: I! do! not! want! Your! kids! Just the Death Note!

Light: It's been five years and no sightings of L's ghost. I think I'm in the clear.
L: Still haunting you.
Light: Dammit!

  • Sidoh doesn't want to leave the Shinigami realm because they locked him out the last time.
  • The subversion of the Enemy Mine situation where Kira calls up Da Chief: "Hey Dad, it's Light..."
  • Light's death note hiding place:

Light: As for Misa's Death Note, I'll keep it in the only place I know it will be safe—my pants!
Misa: Oh, it'll be safe there! Light doesn't even let me in his pants!
Ryuk: You're not missing anything.

Souichiro: Light, I am your father.

Light: (*sighs*) I know that dad.

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