When I was young and just a bad little kid My momma noticed funny things I did Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun I'd poison guppies, and when I was done I'd find a pussy-cat and bash in its head That's when my momma said, She said: "My boy, I think someday You'll find a way To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist You have a talent for causing things pain Son, be a dentist People will pay you to be inhumane Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less Son, be a dentist You'll be a success"
Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque. Watch him suck up that gas. Oh my God! He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good. Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade? ("Oh that hurts! Wait, I'm not numb!") ("Ah, shuddup, open wide, HERE I COME!!")
I am your dentist ("Goodness gracious!") And I enjoy the career that I picked ("Love it!") I'm your dentist ("Fitting braces...") And I get off on the pain I inflict ("Really love it!")
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid It's swell, though they tell me I'm mal-adjusted And though it may cause my patients distress Somewhere... Somewhere in heaven above me... I know... I know that my momma's proud of me.
"Oh, Momma..."
Dr. Loboto: I hate to be so blunt, but you have the insanity... of a manatee! Dogen: I know, people are always saying that. What do you think's wrong with my brain, doctor? Dr. Loboto: How should I know? I'm a dentist. But here's what I do know: if the tooth is bad, we pull it!
