Designing Women/Awesome

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


JULIA: (closes dressing room door as she enters room) Excuse me, aren't you Marjorie Leigh Winnick, the current Miss Georgia World?
MARJORIE: Why, yes I am.
JULIA: I'm Julia Sugarbaker, Suzanne Sugarbaker's sister. I couldn't help over hearing part of your conversation.
MARJORIE: Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was here.
JULIA: Yes, and I gather from your comments there are a couple of other things you don't know, Marjorie. For example, you probably didn't know that Suzanne was the only contestant in Georgia pageant history to sweep every category except congeniality, and that is not something the women in my family aspire to anyway. Or that when she walked down the runway in her swimsuit, five contestants quit on the spot. Or that when she emerged from the isolation booth to answer the question, "What would you do to prevent war?" she spoke so eloquently of patriotism, battlefields and diamond tiaras, grown men wept. (Suzanne is now outside the dressing room door, now ajar slightly.) And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Suzanne was not just any Miss Georgia, she was THE Miss Georgia. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was ON FIRE. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks! And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face! (Julia leans into Marjorie's face; Marjorie is now cowering.) And that, Marjorie --- just so you will know --- and your children will someday know --- is The Night. The Lights. Went Out. In Geor-gia!
MARJORIE: (sheepishly) I'm sorry, I didn't know. (very pregnant pause)
JULIA: (smirking) Well, now you do.