Discworld/Guards! Guards!/Funny

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  • The Watchmen realise that no-one has ever said 'It's practically a certainty, but it might just work' and so attempt to increase the odds of Sergeant Colon shooting a dragon to exactly a million to one (eventually blindfolded, standing on one leg, his face covered in soot and singing 'the hedgehog song').
    • They fail. Fortunately the odds of surviving the dragon's counter-attack was exactly a million to one.
  • The Hedgehog Song.
  • Carrot attempts to arrest Vetinari. Particularly Vimes's reaction.
    • This one gets funnier in hindsight, as Vimes arrests Vetinari in Jingo.
    • To me, even more so when Sgt. Colon somehow manages to vocally command Carrot's central nervous system, and sent him marching away with a few army-styled orders. Especially when the narration notes that while Vetinari is speaking to Vimes, Colon is screaming at Carrot in the background to stop marching.
  • Carrot arrests the dragon, and then holds back the mob... can't have prisoners be killed by a mob.
  • The scene in the dwarf bar, where Carrot makes a bunch of Badass, armed-to-the-teeth dwarves cry by asking them what their mothers would think of the way they're behaving.
  • Commander Vimes meets Sybil Ramkin in awkward circumstances. "Why? It's my bloody dragon."