Dissidia Final Fantasy/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Pretty much any scene involving Kefka. Or any of his battle quotes. It almost has to be concluded that Kefka is Crowning Moment of Funny incarnate.

(after casting Forsaken, gleefully with unrestrained ecstasy): "Does it hurt? DOES IT?"
(after casting Trine, looking around with his hand above his eyes): "THIS is gonna hurt!...did I get 'em?"
"The mouse is SMACK! dabinthemiddle of enemy territory."
"Is someone having a bad hair day?"
"That hag isn't worth the dirt on the bottom of my boots! This is why I hate working with amateurs."
"Who? What? When-where-why?"

    • And then we got Dissidia 012 and Kefka's comments on Kuja.

"I've decided to help that spoony bard!"
"He and his black thong are going to regret this!"

      • Kefka and Vaan. Words can not do those scenes justice.

Vaan: (grabs Terra's hand and begins to run off) "I'm gonna take the girl now! Catch you later!"
Kefka: (isn't paying attention) "Yeah, pleasure meeting you." (finally realizes what Vaan's doing) Wait you're- WHAT?!

      • Any scene from the 12th cycle featuring both Kefka and Kuja is guaranteed to be a CMOF. You've got to be Kefka if you can, considering you're in a Final Fantasy game, pull a fart joke out of nowhere.

"It gives me gas, I said! And I... *blat* give it back."
"I shall extend a personal fa... vour."

"The fact you... LET THEM GET AWAY is most regrettable."

    • "'Step aside', she says. Do we look like sidesteppers?"
  • "Sweet Cosmos, it's a talking rock!"
  • This exchange between Tidus and Cloud:

Tidus: "And that... is my story."
Cloud: "Get moving. Story's not over."

  • Gilgamesh's Ex Burst. Better yet, the failure version
  • Squall reaches Ultimecia's castle to confront his villain and delivers his World of Cardboard Speech about how he will defeat her for the sake of his Nakama, and prepares to face her and Garland at once in a two-on-one fight. Cue Zidane's Dynamic Entry by tackling Garland—who is three times his size and wearing a full suit of plate armor—off to the side and telling Squall to stop showing off.
  • In Dissidia 012 Prologus, Lightning tosses out "Who died and made you Primarch?" when Warrior of Light tries to give her orders.
  • In Duodecim, Laguna encounters the Cloud of Darkness. He gets a leg cramp out of nervousness. He also says "munchkins" instead of "manikins" - repeatedly - in spite of the Cloud of Darkness correcting him, and one gets the impression that she just doesn't know what to make of him at all. Here's the leg cramp.
    • What really makes the leg cramp scene is CoD's expression while poor Laguna is on the ground grunting in pain, and what she says afterwards. She really has no idea of what to make of him.
  • Four words - THE GREATEST ATTACK EVER!
    • And then there's the Shout-Out that is his secret EX Burst line - "You're getting the cuchi cuchi treatment!"
  • Firion trying to get his wild rose from Lightning, but he shies away whenever someone interrupts their conversation. Made all the more hilarious when Cecil plays a bit of Shipper on Deck, much to Firion's embarrassment.
    • It gets a bit funnier if you watch the mindset as Cecil trying to be a father, hooking up his son.
    • Another funny moment from that scene is Lightning's Deadpan Snarker reply to Firion:

Firion: "I want to talk to you..."
Lightning: "You know, I'm starting to wonder if you ever will. Spit it out already."

  • Depending on your viewing of it, the buff to Golbez's 'Gravity Force' attack in Duodecim; it now breaks an opponent's attempt to guard against it, while Golbez quips with a deadpan "Allow me give you something." In the first game, it was easily blocked because of its long start-up time (especially when you consider how quickly the rest of his attacks start). A marvelous way to catch out those who played through the first game.
  • Tifa dumps a potion out over Kain's head and tells him, essentially, to stop being dumb. Then she announces that she'll have to come with him because she's used up her potion. Kain is stymied.
  • From the first game: "Inside your HEAD... is the Void."
  • Laguna enthuses about all the interesting people making up Cosmos's side:

Laguna: They've got armor like I've never seen, and one of 'em even has a tail! [laughs] Oh yeah, the tail guy? He sure wasn't happy when I yanked on it. That thing is real!

Squall: [staring, dumbfounded] (You - yanked on it?)

    • And then another scene regards Zidane grousing over the same incident.
  • In Dissidia 012, Squall finds a Summonstone

Alexander: I am...the hallowed king...Revere...and worship me.
Squall: (Whatever...you just want some attention.)

  • Vaan talking to Onion Knight. While everyone else sees Onion Knight as a great warrior, Vaan can't get past that Onion Knight is a kid. Vaan then tries to be Onion Knight's big brother, treating Onion Knight like a kid and yelling at others for not going easy on him. Then they meet up with Laguna and Squall where this exhange occurs.

Laguna: Look at them, they're just like brothers.
Vaan: We're not like brothers, we are brothers.
[Laguna and Vaan walk away.]
Squall: Sucks to be us, huh?

  • From Duodecim, the Report in which Laguna interacts with Squall. Notable moments include Squall's inner monologue flipping out over Laguna calling an ordinary rose he picked a wild rose (this is the same flower that Firion will carry for that cycle and the next), and Laguna changing his tone to impersonate Squall while mocking his reasons for being antisocial. However, the speech that Laguna delivers next doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming and a Tear Jerker, considering Laguna's backstory in VIII.
  • Once you complete the storyline mode in 012, you'll hear a character call out "Square Enix" and the game's title during start-up, with who says it depending on the day and time. All of them are in-character for it, Large Ham included. Chaos' call is particularly amusing.

"Squaaaaaaaaare Enixxxxxxxxx...."

    • And then, obviously...
  • Meta example as it refers to Fan Works, but anyway, look for "MMD Dissidia" on Youtube. It's really Worth It, provided you've got your medication.
  • Bartz and Tidus are talking about things and Bartz mentions how he knew someone dear to him that taught him how to hold on when you don't remember anything. Tidus instantly teasing/shipping him with this young girl... until he finds out the person in question is an old guy (aka Galuf).
  • Gilgamesh' banter when he reach the third stage of vanilla-Chaos' battle.

Gilgamesh: "I have more arms than him!" [1]

  1. Gilgamesh' EX Mode turns him six-handed, while Chaos has 4 hands all the time.