Doctor Who/Recap/S23/E01 The Mysterious Planet

"Tell the truth: are you worried about my interference in other civilizations or just jealous of my coat?"

"Oh! Why'd you stop it at the best bit? I was rather enjoying that."

—The Sixth Doctor commenting on the ending of Colin Baker's reign as The Doctor.

As story one of the "Trial of a Time Lord" season arc, "The Mysterious Planet" is Doctor Who writer Robert Holmes's last complete story script.

Episode one opens with a sweeping motion-controlled shot of the Time Lords' space station as seen here. The Doctor stumbles out of his TARDIS and enters a courtroom, where he is informed that an Inquiry has been set up to examine his actions. Very quickly the old "I'm the Lord President" escape clause is revoked when the Inquisitor tells The Doctor he was deposed after the events of The Five Doctors because he never showed up.

The Valeyard starts the Trial with footage from the Matrix of the Doctor's interference on the planet Ravalox, a planet with the same mass, angle of tilt and period of rotation of the planet Earth, which it is. Ravalox also was supposedly ravaged by a solar fireball. We learn most of these facts as the Doctor and Peri are walking through a forest. We can also see that the Doctor/Peri relationship has elevated past the bickering of the previous season. Unknown to them, they're being watched by Mr. Sabalom Glitz and his assistant Dibber, two likable criminal types. Glitz has the Doctor in the sights of his gun, but at the last possible second The Doctor ducks down.

Peri discovers the remains of a building, grabbing the attention of the Doctor. The Doctor soon discovers the entrance and they enter a tunnel network. Peri makes a startling discovery. She discovers that They are actually in the London Underground at Marble Arch Station. This puts the "is this Earth?" plot to bed and starts the "how can this be Earth" plot, seeing as Ravalox is several light years from Earth's solar system. The Doctor finds a door and theorizes that there may be some inhabitants alive in the tunnel network. Peri declines the offer to explore and waits at the entrance and is promptly captured.

Meanwhile Glitz and Dibber approach the local savages in the hope of destroying a "Magnum Mark VII Light converter", which the savages are using as a Totem Pole, and salvaging the valuable material it's made from. They are taken to meet the Queen of the tribe.

The Doctor has found his way into some form of underground habitation and gets himself arrested for stealing water, the punishment for which is a stoning. At the same time the leader of the underground habitation is revealed to be called "The Immortal" and is then revealed to be an L3 robot which we later find out is called Drathro.

Glitz and Dibber are having an audience with the Queen of the tribe and blame the fireball on the Light converter. The Queen informs them that every time a stranger has come to the village they each made up a different reason to take down the light converter. Glitz and Dibber are taken prisoner. She takes their guns and makes plans to attack "The Immortal".

Back in the tunnels, The Doctor is learning about the world he has arrived in from "Balazar, the Reader of the Books". Apparently, three Books have survived from times past. They are:

Moby Dick, by Herman Melville
The Water Babies, by Charles Kingsley
UK Habitats of the Canadian Goose by HM Stationery Office

Back at Marble Station the stoning is ready and the Doctor stands ready. As the stoning begins he opens his umbrella and begins deflecting the stones, but one hits him and he drops to the ground.

We jump back into the courtroom where the Valeyard quickly demands that the Inquiry escalates into a Trial, a trial that, if the Doctor loses will end in his execution. Paralleling what the actual show was going through at this time. Not getting sufficient "Grades". (Sorry!) It turns out the Doctor is unconscious not dead. A guard is about to kill him when Drathro orders that The Doctor is brought to him.

Peri is dragged into the savages' village and taken before the Queen who wants to marry her off to several men. Back underground we discover that Drathro has two helpers, Tandrell and Humker, who he orders to activate the service robot, "In case they need it". Peri is placed under Guard with Glitz and Dibber who have an Oh Crap moment when they learn that the Doctor is a Time Lord. Glitz is then sentenced to death for being a "Star traveler".

Drathro orders the Doctor to fix the circuits connected to the Black Light converter, but the Doctor soon escapes by shocking Drathro and fooling the Service robot.

Glitz, Dibber and Peri escape, Glitz and Peri try and reach Marble Arch and Dibber stays behind to destroy the light converter. Drathro sends the service robot after The Doctor. Meanwhile Merdeen, the head Guard, tells Balazar how to leave the tunnels so that he can join the savages on the surface—unaware that Grell, one of the guards, is spying on them.

Back on the surface Dibber blows up the Light Converter and joins Peri and Glitz in escaping to the underground. The Doctor, Balazar, Peri, Glitz, and Dibber all meet at the tunnel entrance but are forced to flee back underground by the chasing savages. When they reach Marble Arch they find that the service robot is waiting for them and now they're trapped between that and the savages. The Doctor and the others drop to the floor as the savages fire at the robot with the guns they took from Glitz and Dibber, disabling it. The Doctor is less than happy when he discovers that Dibber blew up the light converter. He tells them that it could set off a chain reaction. They are all then taken to the Savage's village.

Back underground Grell confronts Merdeen about his actions. Merdeen is saved by Drathro who orders him to search for Balazar. Tandrell and Humker manage to re-activate the Service Robot.

The Doctor, Peri, Glitz and Dibber are placed under guard. At this point it is confirmed that they are on Earth. But the service robot smashes through a wall, knocks unconscious and kidnaps The Doctor. The savages shoot the robot and disable it for good, and think that they have killed "The Immortal" and move to attack the underground settlement. The Doctor regains consciousness and rushes off to warn the savages. He explains to Peri that if he doesn't deactivate the black light system it will implode, destroying the tunnels.

Glitz explains to Dibber not to tell the Doctor that what they're after is INFORMATION FOR THE EYES OF THE HIGH COUNCIL ONLY. Literally what is said is bleeped out. The Valeyard says that that part of the evidence has been removed by order of the High Council. The Inquisitor is not pleased, pointing out that the trial was ordered by the High Council (Foreshadowing!), and that it is her job to decide what is relevant evidence. The Valeyard says the the evidence was "Against the Public Interest". And that she alone can watch the uncensored version.

The Doctor and Peri are hurrying through the tunnels when Merdeen steps out from behind them and points a gun at The Doctor. Merdeen fires the gun and hits who he was aiming at, Grell, who really was going to shoot The Doctor. Tandrell and Humker, knowing that the Black light system will implode, open the door to escape and let the savages in. Drathro kills the Queen of the savages and one other savage. He then tells the rest to stand outside the door and wait for their death, which they bizarrely do.

Glitz meanwhile is telling Dibber what they're after, which is secrets from "The CONFIDENTIAL, the biggest net of information in the Universe". The Doctor is furious that yet another bit has been bleeped out; again the Valeyard states that that piece of evidence is for the Inquisitor only.

Merdeen, Peri, Glitz and Dibber try and Sneak into Drathro's room via the food preparation system. Drathro activates the system, nearly slicing them with lasers. Dibber blasts away out through one of the walls into Drathro's room. Glitz sweet-talks Drathro into leaving with them and bringing the secrets with him. Drathro tells Giltz to tie the Doctor up. Glitz ties him with a slip knot. The Doctor contains the explosion to Drathro's room. Drathro dies and and the secrets melt. The Doctor muses over a few unanswered questions like "Who moved Earth out of the solar system?" and "what were Glitz and Dibber after?".

Back in court the Doctor points out that The Valeyard's evidence actually helps him and states that it is his turn to produce evidence. The Inquisitor tells him that the Valeyard has not finished.

The Doctor states "Wake me when it's over."

The Valeyard announces that "The Most Damning is still to come".

Tropes

Ambulance Chaser: the Valeyard appeared to be this at first
And Man Grew Proud: Played for laughs. The underground colony of survivors on a far-future Earth renamed Ravalox, which has been ravaged by a fireball, refer to three sacred texts that are the only few surviving books they have, which govern their lives and their views of the world before the apocalypse, and which are trusted to learned scholars to unpack their meanings. They are, however, Herman Melville's Moby Dick, Charles Kingsley's The Water Babies, and a guide to the UK Habitats of the Canadian Goose by 'HM Stationery Office', which is apparently the most mysterious. The Doctor is not impressed.
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: "and UK Habitats of the Canadian Goose by HM Stationery Office"
Clip Show: Subverted, only new footage is used.
Color-Coded for Your Convenience: The Doctor And The Valeyard
Covered in Gunge: Balazar gets a face full of green mash in episode 4
Deus Est Machina
Dude in Distress: Seriously, The Doctor gets tied up THREE TIMES alone in this serial.
Earth All Along: It wasn't the ending, per se, but this story does feature the discovery (due to a Tube sign) that Ravalox is actually Earth and that it had been shoved half way across the galaxy.
Enemy Without: The Valeyard. More on him later.
Epic Tracking Shot: The opening shot, where the camera gets remarkably close to the space station model without wrecking the illusion.
Five Rounds Rapid: Glitz says this in episode 4.
Foreshadowing: A conversation between Glitz and Dibber about who moved Ravalox is bluntly censored at one point. The final episode reveals that it was the Time Lords themselves.
Framing Device: The Trial scenes
Future Imperfect: In this future the Three Books of Knowledge are The Water Babies, a British children's book; Moby Dick; and a UK public information volume about geese.
Kangaroo Court: An early sign that the Doctor's trial isn't exactly kosher appears when vital evidence appears heavily censored. Despite his protests that he can hardly defend himself if he doesn't have the full evidence, the trial basically carries on regardless.
The London Underground
My Name Is Not Durwood: The Valeyard.
Oh Crap
Reassignment Backfire: Because the Doctor Didn't show up to become president after the Five Doctors, The High council deposed him.
Sci-Fi Writers Have No Sense of Scale: Probably the most spectacular example in is in this story, where Earth was apparently hidden by moving its entire solar system several million miles, which is the celestial equivalent of hiding from your date in an empty movie theater by leaning an inch to the left. For scale, Mercury never comes within 28 million miles of our Sun, despite being its closest planet.
- The distance that the Time Lords moved Earth is given in various Dr Who literature as being "Two light-years". Whilst slightly more plausible than several million miles, this is still only less than half the distance to Alpha Centauri, our nearest neighbouring star. It would be equivalent to hiding from your date in an otherwise empty cinema by moving one seat to the left.
Stab the Scorpion: The cliffhanger for episode 3 involves Merdeen seemingly firing his crossbow at the Doctor. However, the reprise in episode 4, reveals he was actually aiming at the traitor Grell, lurking behind the Doctor and Peri.
Stock Phrases:

Glitz: I Can't Believe I'm Saying This, but... Take Me to Your Leader.

Story Arc
Unreliable Narrator: The Valeyard has tampered with the evidence in the Matrix, though not to as great an effect as he has in following stories.
Villains Blend in Better: Sabalom Glitz is convinced that with a few explosives and a machine gun, he'll easily impress the backwards locals on Ravalox that he's the guy who should be in charge and thus be able to dismantle a valuable technological gizmo they believe to be a sacred totem. Unfortunately, he didn't count on their queen being more savvy than her primitive lifestyles would suggest, or the fact that many other con-artists have had the same idea as he did and approached her giving multiple reasons why they should be allowed to dismantle the totem as well. He's soon captured and thrown in a dungeon, much to his bewilderment. However, ironically this still works to impede the Doctor; when he goes before the queen with the real reason that he needs to dismantle the totem (it's about to explode and rip a hole in the universe), the queen's so sick of hearing all these false stories that she locks the Doctor up as well.