Don't Drink the Water

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Don't Drink the Water is a comedy play written by Woody Allen. Written and set in The Sixties, the play revolves around the Cold War. In an unnamed European country behind the Iron Curtain, American Ambassador Magee must leave the Embassy for business. In his absence he places his incompetent son Axel in charge. Almost immediately the Embassy is thrust into a crisis as the Hollanders, an family of American tourists, come rushing in on the run from the Communist police. Walter, the father, had accidentally snuck into a high security area and taken pictures, causing the communist to believe the family are spies. Axel digs the hole deeper and the embassy is surrounded, leaving the Hollanders trapped.

The main characters are:

  • Axel Magee - An American foreign diplomat who only went into the business due to his father rather then his actual talent in art. He has a tendency to ramble, especially when nervous. He falls in love with Susan during the play.
  • Walter Hollander - A caterer from Newark, New Jersey. He is married to Marion and is the father of Susan and Seth. He causes his family to become trapped in the American embassy after he takes pictures of a high security area. He is very loud and abrasive but he can be kind when he wants to.
  • Marion Hollander - Walter's homemaker wife and the mother of Susan and Seth, she too is somewhat inappropriate but she's much kinder then Walter.
  • Susan Hollander - Walter and Marion's beautiful daughter who falls in love with Axel.
  • Father Drobney - A priest hiding out in the embassy for 6 years with a love of magic tricks. He is the narrator of the play.
  • Kilroy - Ambassador Magee's stuck-up assistant who is much more competent at his job then Axel.
  • Krojack - The head of the Communist police who traps the Hollanders in the embassy
  • Burns - An assisstant working at the embassy
  • Ambassador Magee - Axel's father who is the ambassador of the unnamed country and the head of the embassy
  • Chef - The embassy's chef, who consistently butts heads with Walter

Two film versions exist: one that came out in 1969 starring Jackie Gleason as Walter, and a TV movie in 1994 starring Allen as Walter, Julie Kavner as Marion, Michael J. Fox as Axel, Mayim Bialik as Susan, and Dom Deluise as Father Drobney.

Tropes used in Don't Drink the Water include: