Dwarf Fortress/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • The Consolidated Development page is rather ripe with these:
    • "Core59, LOVE AND ROMANCE, (Future): Though some of the dialog is likely to be an entertaining trainwreck, especially if coupled with a random poem generator (yes, that's a threat)"
    • "PowerGoal 90, BY THE POWER OF MOTHRA, (Future): You say a prayer to Mothra in the face of your enemies and are filled with great strength. You rip the heart from the chest of your adversary and eat it in front of his quailing comrades."
  • This thread chronicles the adventures of SpiralDimentia and forum members managing to trick him into removing the cotton candy sword from a curious structure and experiencing spoilers. To his credit he took it with a great sense of humor and it turned into an epic thread of awesomeness.

SpiralDimentia: Oh god, you guys are dicks, I think I just unleashed a horde of demons into my base.
SpiralDimentia: Okay, so the migrants have managed to release the bronze colossus...

"The Bronze Colossus punches The Stray Kitten in the head with its right hand, but the attack glances away!"
Poster: It tried punching it in the head at least 12 or 13 times, but every time the attack glanced off. What the hell was that cat's head made out of, slade?

  • This thread has perhaps the most hilariously unexpected Killer Rabbit of all time: The giant sponge.
    • They have the [MOUNT_EXOTIC] tag. Draw your own conclusions.

Without a nervous system...
The only thing they can feel...
IS ANGER.

  • Due to copious amounts of Noodle incidents and unfortunate selection of topics and titles, the procedurally generated books can be quite funny.
  • A Note to Urist - wherein fortress Overseers express their frustration with their epically stupid dwarves.
  • On the Adventure Mode page on the wiki, one of the FAQ's is, "I managed to escape but all my limbs are gone. Now what?" It then goes on to talk about what you can do, depending on what limbs you are missing. If you have all your arms and legs gone, it talks about how you could wrestle people to the ground and kill them using only your teeth.
  • "I killed a bronze colossus, and you'll never guess how."
  • "The Dented War" between The Blue Wheels and Confederacy of Businesses. And its third battle fittingly named The Outrageous Onslaught. As noted on the same page, apparently an obscure bug ("tame" animals count as members of a civilisation, and not all relevant actions that should be filtered out actually are) with blessing of Random Number God recreated the Animal Farm.

One of the most significant causes of the conflict was a dispute over display of war and hunting trophies.