Eats Babies/Quotes

Someone ate the baby it's rather sad to say
Someone ate the baby so she won't be out to play
We'll never hear her whiny cry
or have to feel if she is dry
We'll never hear her asking, "Why, why, why?"
Someone ate the baby.

Someone ate the baby it's absolutely clear
Someone ate the baby 'cause the baby isn't here
We'll give away her toys and clothes
We'll never have to wipe her nose
Dad says, "That's the way it goes."
Someone ate the baby.

Someone ate the baby, what a frightful thing to eat
Someone ate the baby, though she wasn't very sweet
It was a heartless thing to do
The policemen haven't got a clue

I simply can't imagine who would go and (burp) eat the baby.

—Shel Silverstein - "Dreadful"

"Hi! I'm Crazy Eddie. Oooha, oooha. I put babies on spikes. Do you want a rack of babies? We've got babies on racks. Hmmm, they...taste of chicken!"

—Eddie Izzard, Dressed to Kill

"Babies are what the mother eats"

—The Times-Herald, 7 November 1984

"I will eat your babies, bitch!"

—"Sweet" Dee Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Baldrick: He still wants to see you, my lord.
Edmund: Did you mention the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells?
Baldrick Yes, my lord
Edmund What did he say?
The Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells: He said 'I AM the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells. You haven't any children, have you Blackadder?
Edmund: No, no, I'm not married.

The Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells: In that case I'll skip breakfast and get straight to business.

—Blackadder II, Money.

"I like children - fried."

"There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender."

—W.C. Fields

"Tender but sticky."

—Waluigi, Brawl in the Family

"I needed to lose some baby weight. Caused by the baby I ate."

—Richard, Looking for Group

Cale: (learning to walk after having his legs reattached) I can't take another step!

Richard: I can't not eat this baby!

—Looking for Group

Olaf the Troll: Barmaid! Bring me stronger ale and some plump, succulent babies to eat! (later, to Spike and Xander) You there! Do you know where there are babies?
Spike: (casually, to Xander) What d'you think, the hospital?

Xander: What? Shut up.

—Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"Did you just eat the BABY!"

—Rath, Ben 10 Alien Force

"Just think; right now, Jeb Bush is somewhere eating a live puppy."

—Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

Schlock: Are we still the good guys if I accidentally eat a couple of those baby kreelies in the heat of battle?

Elf: Your special forces squad does not need a lieutenant. It needs the reverend.

—Schlock Mercenary

Eat up: the sushi's made from fresh orphans.

—Dick Roman, Supernatural