Epic Fail/Quotes
Washington: That was the worst throw. Ever. Of all time. |
...your job is to conceal something that genuinely doesn't exist, and you discover a way to fail at it.
—Llewellyn from Ozy and Millie on the UFO conspiracy.
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I can't get over that; how do you hit a mountain?
—Adrian Monk, referring to a submarine in Mr. Monk Is Underwater
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Not that I'm complaining about it, but... HOW DO YOU MISS A VOLCANO?!
—Thief, Eight Bit Theater
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"Wow, Fighter. You don't half-ass screwing up, do ya?"
—Black Mage, Eight Bit Theater
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Why can't my successes ever be as spectacular as my failures?
—Jason, FoxTrot
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My god! That's like if you tried to make scrambled eggs and instead you caught syphilis!
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[...T]here are speedruns [of this game] on Youtube in under a minute. YOU CALL THAT GOOD PROGRAMMING?!
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"You missed! With a cannon!"
—Tremors 4
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How do you get a note from the teacher on the last day of school?
—Mrs. Summers, Least I Could Do
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"He burnt my fries!'' —Various extras, SpongeBob SquarePants
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"I didn't know you could burn juice."
—Rarity, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
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One of her teammates figured out how to counter a 100 story fall with an exploding hot dog cart, and this bitch can't kill herself with a whole jungle? You can't fail harder than that without actually being Phil Collins.
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If you lose money, it can be bad luck. It you blow up, it is certainly incompetence. #FooledbyRandomness —Nassim Nicholas Taleb, mathematician and trader, on Twitter
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