Even Evil Has Standards/Web Comics

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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Chilus: You know humans! They're a bit late for school!
Skip: "A bit late for school?"
Chilus: A little tardy.
(Beat Panel)
Skip: Was that a "retarded" joke? Do you know my brother's handicapped?
Chilus: Right, I'm sorry! That was very insensitive of me. Let me get my purse and make a contribution to your favorite mental health charity... What's this? My driver's license... Why, it says here I'm a demon! So [blows tongue at Skip] pbbtbbtbtbtbtbt to you and your retarded brother!
Skip: Fine. We're demons. We're evil. Can't you have a little class?
Chilus: You're a little late for class.

  • Parodied in The Misadventures of Hello Cthulhu, where Cthulhu calls Hello Kitty's parents "unspeakable beasts" for producing offspring. Which, if you consider the Expanded Universe Canon, is built on a lie, making it Hypocritical Humor.
    • Parodied again not too many strips later when Dagon says that even his kind has higher standards than making unholy offspring half-breeds from Sanrio characters.
  • Hunter Ravenwood of Suicide for Hire Wouldn't Hit a Girl, though that doesn't stop him from killing women who pay him to do so. Evidence suggests he doesn't like to think of the clients as people at all. The rules of the titular business also include "Suicides may not result in the death of a third party" and "Children under the age of sixteen will not be allowed to kill themselves". A pregnant client is rejected for this reason, as they consider her foetus to be a third party and object to helping her escape responsibility for it.
    • Later, when confronted with a severely battered woman, he first wants to help her kill her abusive husband. Only when she can't go through with the act, despite getting clear instructions via two-way radio, does he help her kill herself. Later, the husband comes to SFH... and his death is not at all pretty. Unusually, Arcturus is as enthusiastic about this job as Hunter.
  • Evil, Inc.: "even supervillains draw the line at spam". Also, they stopped production of the power draining devices. Because this quickly gone gross.
  • Even Penny Arcade has standards.
  • From Wapsi Square We may be demons, but we have rules!
  • Axel of Ansem Retort is a homicidal evil Buddhist god that can kill you with freaking sweet mind bullets (and in the very first comic torched an orphanage). Yet he yells "WHAT?" at the idea that he'd abuse his wife, Aerith. He's also shown to be disturbed by Larxene carrying around a human skull.
    • Zexion is a governor that invaded New Jersey, stole tax dollars just to prove he could, and would rather spend the state budget on blowjobs and Doritoes... but he really hates racist pancakes. It Makes Sense in Context.
  • During her temporary Face Heel Turn, White Mage of 8-Bit Theater said she would not date Black Mage, even though she was evil.

White Mage: I may be coming to terms with the idea that I'm locked into a lifetime of spreading pain and death across the world, but I still have some standards.

    • Garland also does this in the beginning, when Princess Sara suggests torturing the heroes of light by forcing them to listen to Cher.
    • It's a little jarring to realize that Black Mage, of all people, is the one out of the heroes who is most commonly freaked out by the stuff his companions, most notably Red Mage, pull off.
      • That's because the stuff the others, and especially' Red Mage, do are crimes against logic.
    • Black Mage also manages this after he usurps the throne of Hell. Fighter naturally assumes that he went to Heaven instead.

Black Mage: Even though I am the incarnation of all mortal evils, I just don't have the heart.

    • Towards the end of the series, when they discover that even though they've grown incredibly strong throughout their journeys, Sarda flat out tells them that they'll never be a match for him, and he was still going to render their efforts nil out of spite.

Black Mage: That's messed up, Sarda.

    • Thief states that Black Mage has hit a new low when he hears his plan to get into White Mage's robes after she temporarily turns "evil" involving what he thinks is alcohol but may be paint thinner. When the other Light Warriors point out that it'll likely kill White Mage, Black Mage simply responds that the corpse will still be warm for a little while.

Thief: That... may be the worst thing you've ever said.

Mike: Hey, are you the asshole?
Guy: Dude, I'm not an asshole. I'm just, you know, what do they call it, anti-social. I can't help it.
Mike: You diagnosed or something?
Guy: Diagnosed? Naw, that's gay. I just think I probably have antisocial tendencies or something. I can be pretty mean and irrational sometimes, but whatcha gonna do, really? *Smug smirk*
(later) Amber: Is somebody on fire?
Mike: I can't help it. I have antisocial tendencies.

Professor Pau: You don't think I'd hang people from the ceiling, bloat them with chemicals, harvest their blistered hides, and then leave them miserable, do you?
Ennesby: Sorry. Our bad. We'll get your sainthood application processed right away.

  • In Dominic Deegan Arcangelo Scarlatti has a brief moment here.
  • Kolonel Haken in Irregular Webcomic may be a card-carrying Nazi, but he will not stand for genocide - he's an archaeologist, not a mass murderer. Eventually, he assassinates Hitler by stuffing a very large frog down his throat. Only in one webcomic could you find a sentence like that, folks.
  • Girl Genius with Bang. Sure, she's a bloodthirsty, sadistic lunatic… but mind control? This annoys her seriously.