Evil Is Not a Toy/Quotes

Emperor Zombie: You went on and on about how sweet the candy was, then told me not to put it in my mouth, and got mad at me when I did!
Screw-On Head: If by "candy", you mean ancient forbidden evil, then yes, I did tell you not to put it in your mouth!

—The Amazing Screw-On Head

He gave me a lamp that had the Devil in it! I was expecting a happy genie who sings little songs and grants wishes, not the Devil! What kind of weird shit is Headmaster Cid into? I mean, I know he told me it was cursed and I should be careful, but when you give someone a lamp with the Devil in it, you don't say "Oh, be careful, it's a little dangerous," you say "Here's a lamp, and it has the Devil in it!!"

—Noah 'The Spoony One' Antwiler, on Final Fantasy VIII and the Diabolos guardian force.

"YOU SUMMON FORTH AN ANCIENT EVIL AND NOW YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM?" (cue betrayal)

—A sand monster very low on patience with his amateur boss, from Aladdin, the animated series.

The SS necromancers are exultant: their demons harrow the Earth in stolen bodies, scouring it clean of enemy forces, eating the souls of the untermenschen and spitting up their bones. Snow falls early as fimbulwinter sets in, for the ice giants of legend have returned to do the bidding of the thousand-year Reich, and the Führer's every dream shall be made real. A pale sun that warms nothing gazes down across a wilderness of ice and fire, ravaged by the triumph of the will.
They only realize how badly they've miscalculated some months later as the daylight hours shorten, and shorten further -- until the equinox passes, the temperature continues to fall as the sunlight dims, and the giants cease to do their bidding.
Gotterdammerung has come for the victorious Third Reich...

—The Atrocity Archives

Grandpa: Yugi! Are you trying to summon the forces of darkness in your room again?
Yugi: No Gramps!

—Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Movie

I say to you againe, doe not call up Any that you can not put downe; by the Which I meane, Any that can in Turne call up somewhat against you, whereby your Powerfullest Devices may not be of use. Ask of the Lesser, lest the Greater shall not wish to Answer, and shall commande more than you.

—H.P. Lovecraft, "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward"

Do not call up that which you cannot put on hold.

—The Principia Discordia

"Are you seriously telling me you called up the Devil and expected him to behave?!"

—Fox Mulder, The X-Files

"A few years back I got Chaos to do my bidding but he betrayed me, then I got Biolizard who betrayed me, then I got Metal Sonic who betrayed me, then I got |Ifrit who betrayed me, and then I got Solaris who betrayed me, but I'm sure Dark Gaia will never betray-"
(Gets uppercutted and sent flying by Dark Gaia)
"I COULDN'T EVEN FINISH THIS SENTENCE AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Which is the greater folly, summoning the demon or expecting gratitude from it?"

—Demonic Rising, Magic: The Gathering.

Ciaphas Cain: Cadet Maklin. What do you know of the Ruinous Powers?
Maklin: They're really, really bad?
Ciaphas Cain: Correct, But it's their human acolytes you have to look out for.
Ciaphas Cain: They form cults, and try to attract the attention of one of the Powers by furthering whatever they imagine its ends to be. The lucky ones generally just muck about enacting rituals they don't understand, and start worming their way into positions of influence, where they can disrupt the proper functioning of the Imperium.
Kayla: What about the unlucky ones?
Ciaphas Cain: They succeed. Their patron power really does take an interest. Bad news for them, and far worse for
everyone else.

—Sandy Mitchel, Cain's Last Stand

Jorun: (takes a swing at a nearby boulder)
Gurdan: You shouldn't do that…
Jorun: Aaagh!
Gurdan: I warned you. It's a fighter's blade, not some kid's plaything.
Jorun: (stares at his smoking hands)
Gurdan: These runes are as vicious as they are dangerous. I wouldn't have liked to get in your father's way at the time when he forged this.

—Dwarves #6