Fail to the King!/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • The answer’s in my hands, I can feel it…
  • Monty's deliberate homage to Monty Python, right before he got dangerous.
  • Aria, after speaking on the phone with Almaz's mother. "Here you go, Lord Almaz. It wasn't easy, but I managed to make it worse for you."
  • In Chapter 16, Sapphire's reaction to the secretary walking in on her with a chainsaw.

Sapphire: Oh, hello Mir. Does my hair hide it well enough?
Mir: It's... it's hidden perfectly, Princess... Shall I fetch your highness' hockey mask too, or is this a casual affair?
Sapphire: No, no, that won't be necessary. I just hate running around for keys if a door is locked, that's all. (Beat) Although, I will keep it in mind in case tomorrow's meeting drags on.

  • In the middle of a dramatic fight:

Phoenix: I told you! Those things are just mana! It's fluff in the shape of a sword!
Almaz: I know, damnit! I read Bleach too, you know!
Phoenix: ...what.
Almaz: And speaking of Bleach, I've got a sword wrapped in bandages too!
Phoenix: Shut up!

  • A ninja's report:

Gorrillian: I learned through various means that they[1] have been occupied for the past few hours in trying to infiltrate this room by force, in an assassination attempt.
<the door asplodes>
Gorrillian: My Lord, I have learned through various means that Rasberyl has successfully infiltrated the room.


  1. Raspberyl and her vassals